#creeping cucumber

[peevishpants]

friends put me onto zucchinis a while ago and holy shit i love zucchinis

[billdecker]

🩷 photos from February 🩷

[zafiro-anyejo]

Something not talked about enough is the sheer stupidity of final exams in high school and college worth 20% of your grade??

I have been out of school for a few years and I still get the little "anxiety heartbeat tippy tappys/have a hard time sleeping" during certain times of the winter and sometimes summer too.

[border-collie]

My yard is literally overrun with these guys this summer and with wet July they are fruiting a second time already. I can't eat them fast enough and the birds and Moxie are eating most of them. I picked about a cups worth and am trying a quick pickle on them to see how they hold up to that.

[everythings-whithering]

Ough korean spicy cucumber so good

[feelingdozy]

POURING MY LOVE ONTO YOU - Robert Reynolds

pairing: Bob x assistant!Reader

Summary: Rainy days are when you and Bob find yourselves together the most. But what happens when one of those times is when Bob realizes he's madly in love with you?

Warnings: fluff, heavy yearning, friends to lovers, bob being oblivious to your feelings, makeout sesh, intimate moments, implied smut, bucky being bucky

w/c: 1,5k

The rain pittered gently on the windows of your dimmed room, echoing in the silence of peacefulness that was you sitting in bed, eyes focused on your phone before rubbing them with a slight urgency to stay awake. The calming tip-tap was lulling you ever so gently to a realm between unconsciousness and consciousness, only urged by the loud buzzing that came from the bright shining light in your hands.

Yelena: mission went fine, well, fine enough that we only left with maybe one knife wound

Walker: you sure that was one?

Giggling at the interaction, you found yourself questioning where your other half was- Bob. Only required to gather intel, you and Bob had been partners in not being on the field, but being left alone in the tower with just the two of you. It wasn't unlikely that you came across the days where everyone else had left, as missions called accordingly. You didn't mind it these days. The ones where you had found yourself crawling over to the living room where Bob had taken comfort on the beanbag chair in the corner, or the days he'd find himself stumbling into your room asking what you were up to.

Sometimes it'd be board games, sometimes weird youtube videos that'd have him asking "Why are they doing that though? How much stuff are they buying- my god!" that makes him walk out to the kitchen in a rage induced, snack craving mood. Every time you laugh at his silly antics. Other times organizing each others closets and finding an embarrassing pajama top that definitely doesn't fit anymore.

But sometimes you miss him. The loneliness will creep in when you realize how much he's away, and suddenly your footsteps are the only ones being heard through the huge tower.

When he's called out on a whim for a day of interviews with the crew, rather it be galas or simply sitting in a sad, boring room crowded by people behind the scenes and bombarded with questions about his personal life. Bob would rather be anywhere but there- having you curled up beside him when the tower gets too cold late at night, watching a silly romance or an overdone action movie with hot chocolate in your hand and feeding him whatever chips the two of you had picked out hours before. He wanted to be with you.

So on the calm days the two of you had, you always made the most of your time together.

Looking down at your phone again,

Bucky: would you two let us get through one day without arguing like elementary schoolers?

Walker: don't act like you didn't scream cucumber before yelena sneezed

Ava: didn't you say avocado or some shit?

Walker: I 100% said cucumber

Ava: sure.

Snorting, your head immediately snapped up at the sound of a knock at your door, yelling "Come in!" delightfully. Squinting your eyes to focus them through the shadow at your doorway, Bob closes the door behind him, approaching you on your bed. Snuggled into one of his regular crewnecks, a light blue that's stretched and frayed at the edges from so much use land in your vision, sporting him a smile at his entrance.

"Hey" you mutter softly, looking back up at his eyes to find his glued to yours, ears slightly peaked and red at the top.

"Hi- u-uh just wondering what you were up to y'know- got uh, got bored by myself.." fumbling with his hands, he stands in spot, waiting for your permission to invite him into your space.

"C'mon" patting the other side of your bed, welcoming him into your soft sheets that smell otherworldly- or otherwise like you. His skin tingles as he plops down to your side, almost touching you but not quite, for his sanity and for your comfortability. Not realizing, you move over without a problem, your touch lighting him ablaze as your skin to skin. All of a sudden Bob can sense everything- the way your heart races just a little, the warmth radiating off of you although he's running way hotter. The light, hardly-lasting scent of your shampoo still stuck to your hair after lying in bed all evening.

Bob can't distract himself anymore. You bother him in the best ways, and he can't even explain it to himself. His heart threatening to skip more beats than it can handle, overheating himself to the point he actually has to take off his crewneck- It's overwhelming.

He thinks of Yelena and how she'd nudge him with her elbow whenever you entered the kitchen with your hair lazily brushed, and clothes rushed on, opening the cabinets to find a bag of chocolate hiding deep in there. You wouldn't hide your cravings from the team, but Bob wanted to hide himself at times like these, scared his heart would combust if he eyed your cute, disheveled form down any longer. Yelena whispered in his ear, "you're staring" making him jump.

He thinks of the time he saw Bucky eyeing him in his peripherals as you knelt to retrieve bandages from the med kit you had beside you, pulling it gently over an open wound he had gotten from a mission. Only finding out about it when he first came back, you were furious. Ushering him to the couch, urging him to sit down. You couldn't see it, but Bucky sure could- the hairs on his arm were raised, hair clinging to his forehead yet no sweat was dripping down his face. His ears giving way to the rosy tint that stuck with him whenever you lingered. After you were done, you patted him down for anything else as he froze in place, awestruck from the way you had made him feel so safe, but more so from the way you had cared. Almost too much.

The most recent was Walker- training him on stamina and reflexes. But when you walked in the room, he felt himself light up from the inside. The question was, was that a good thing, or a bad thing?- and sentry had made it obvious. A surge of wanting to show off through quick moves had buzzed through his every muscle, only catching himself to be pinned down afterward by the blonde because he had been distracted for too long.

"Bob",

"Bob!"

"H-huh?" looking over to Walker, only a sly grin plastered across his face. With a little pressure, Walker had put his pointer figure to Bobs chest, making the man look down.

"You like her don't you? 'nd your feeling it righhhhht here." Tapping the spot repeatedly, almost like he was making sure Bob got the message like he didn't know it himself.

He quickly scurried back from Walker, replacing his finger with his own hands as he took deep breaths to distract himself from being found out.

"N-no?" instead of a statement, came out like a question, and Walker only snickered as he went to walk out of the training room.

"You should hear hers, man- gets pretty loud when pretty boy walks in the room"

Leaving Bob alone, absolutely stunned in place, he started to question what exactly had he been missing that Walker had been seeing.

His gaze was on you for too long- he knew that. But at some point he started to stop caring as you scrolled mindlessly through different apps, laughing at stupid cat videos, or pointing out an interest of yours. You had almost forgotten about Bob's presence because he was so comfortable and calming to be around. Yawning, you stretched yourself out, in the process splaying your hands over his waist, intertwining yourself with him. You turned to look up at him, making eye contact.

"Bob-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Only left wide eyed, you stared at him in disbelief, stunned but not unwelcomed.

"yes" fumbling out of your mouth immediately "of course"

Cupping your cheeks ever so lightly with his hands, he leaned in slowly. It wasn't hungry, nor was it filled with the weight of desire- it felt like worship. At first hesitant, it felt like his love was slowly pouring into your soul every time he deepened it, warm, tongue dipping slightly into your mouth as he held you tighter, grounding. Through a flurry of strong emotions and new sensations, you let out a gasp at the intrusion. He let go, looking at you with blown-out eyes that stared into yours like they were the stars hung in the sky.

"was that- you okay?" He muttered, unsure and awkward, a shy smile contrasting his tone of voice.

"More than okay. Amazing- fuck" pulling him in again unexpectedly, he leaned into your touch, hands rounding his neck and pulling him closer towards you. Grazing every open area of his skin with your fingertips, he let the two of you separate naturally from the kiss to lead careful nips down your jaw to your neck, little yelps eliciting from you without meaning to as he bit your earlobe. Staring back at you, Bob gripped your hips with weight, "S-shit- y'gotta do that- please you gotta make that sound again"

Before Bob was able to do anything about it, you feel a buzz from your phone grasping your attention. Pulling away from Bob for the slightest second, your hands still tangled in his hair while seeing if it was important, only to be found with a direct message from Bucky.

Bucky: you don't happen to know what caused the power to go out for a second, do you? Fucked up my toast, thanks

thank you for reading :) requests are open! || Marvel Masterlist

[neogotmysam]

nct dream free use gf part 2

(part 1) dreamies using you, all day, anywhere but its sooooo much nastier and filthier

using you in public, letting strangers touch you and your dirty cunt, making fun of you for how wet you’re getting over some creeps getting off to you

triple penetration with the j line….you have never felt fuller in your life…jaemin thrusting in and out of your ass while jeno and jisung try to fit their massive thick cocks in your one tiny pussy

you can feel jaemin jisung and jeno’s cocks rub against each other inside of you through the thin muscle separating your ass and pussy

haechan getting horny at the park so he just puts u on his lap grinding into you while people walk by, asking you if you think they know he’s fucking you 

jisungie spreading your icky little cunny, watching how his long thick fingers alone can be enough to stretch and fill your tight hole

haechan is a bastard. a true asshole. he’ll pull your pants down, no prep or lube, thrust his cock in your ass, making you scream with so much pain, and your tears just get him off

jaemin walking in on you riding mark and then shoving his cock down your throat, cumming all over your pretty little tits, and then rubbing the cum into your skin like moisturiser

chenle, our mean dom, slapping you till you cry, shoving his fingers down your throat making you gag, all while saying “what a desperate whore” “what would your family think seeing you like this?” 

jisungie having the biggest cock but has no idea what to do with it, too shy to ask you, so he ends up fucking you every night when you’re sleeping, you wake up everyday with his cum spilling down your thighs

going to the gym with jeno and jaemin, spreading your legs open, spreading your pussy for them to see as motivation to finish the workout faster and come devour you

gooner hyuckie loves shoving things in your pretty pussy, loves seeing you whine with the stretch, the bigger the better, be it pens, cans, cucumbers, dildos, he loves seeing you all full for him

passing out after being choked, just to wake up to jeno fucking you roughly into the mattress and jaem pinching and prodding at your tits

chenle filling your squishy walls up with a monster dildo before tying a vibrator to your clit…overstimulating you till you’re crying

hyuck inspecting your cunny in the shower, mark using his fingers to scoop out all of the cum left in your pussy, all while jaemin rubs soap all over your tits, pinching your nipples

jeno slapping you and choking you till you’re a blabbering mess calling you a disgusting whore cuz hes sure you secretly like it

mark guiding you onto jisungs cock, forcing you to take him deeper and deeper, before sliding his own cock next to jisungies, forcing you to take both of them at once…

yall SEND ME ASKSSS!!! any of ur worst disgusting pervy gooner thoughts are more than welcome <3 (also should i make a part 3-)

[oofmybad]

Clean up your mess

synopsis: billie fucks you from behind on the kitchen counter

warnings: dom!billiexsub!reader, pure smut, little to no plot, hair pulling, strap, choking, spitting, strap sucking

a/n: just a short lil blurb for today :P p.s. her nose is so perfect it makes me mad

~~~~~~~~~~

“turn around for me, mama” billie comands, her hands on your hips.

the two of you are stood in the kitchen. you were making a salad for lunch until billie came into the room. she crept up behind you, immediatley teasing you with her hands. her right hand stroked up and down your side as you chopped up the cucumber.

“stop distracting me or i’m gonna slice my finger” you tell her through a giggle, trying to shrug her hands off your body.

“put the knife down then” her head dips low, leaving soft open kisses on your shoulder.

you obeyed, dropping the knife to the chopping board. that’s what led you here: melting under her touch, stripped of your underwear. left only in your bra.

“i said turn around” billie reiterates. finally, you turn to face the kitchen counter, pressing your ass agaisnt billie’s front.

“bil” you whimper, feeling the outline of the strap press into your back.

“hm?”

“when the fuck did you put that on?” you question through a sigh. even the thought of it is working you up.

“don’t worry about it, ma” billie says, her hand caressing up your back. as she reaches your shoulders she pushes you further down into the counter, deepening your arch.

behind you, you hear billie’s belt jangling as she fights to unbuckle it with only one hand. moments later, you hear the denim and metal drop to the floor, and billie’s relieved sigh.

her hand caresses your ass cheeck as you wait there patiently. your head lulls in your crossed arms on the counter. the anticipation sending chills across your body.

“i’m gonna fuck you hard, is that ok?” she checks in with you. leaning down so her mouth is next to your ear.

“please” you whimper out. as soon as you get the word out you feel the tip of the strap teasing yur entrance causing one of your knees to buckle ever so slightly. but you��re held still by billie’s firm grip on your ass. the strap strokes up and down through your slit, collecting the wetness pooling out of you. your breathing races with every movement. the anticipation kills you.

fed up of the teasing, you turn your head around to make eye contact with billie and say, “you gonna fuck me or what?”

billie scowls at you, you can see her temprimant change in her eyes.

“such a fucking brat” billie says through gritted teeth. as her sentence comes to a close, her strap suddenly enters you. hard. you let out a loud moan form the pressure - the strap immediately hitting your cervix. “fuck” you whisper under your breath, your head once again dropping in your arms.

billie’s hips rut into yours repeatedly, harsher every time your skin slaps. her fingertips dig into the fat of your ass, you can feel her pulse quickening.

you continue to moan loudly, they’re slipping out of you beyond your control. all that can be heard is your pornstar moans, billie’s low grunts, and wet skin slapping against each other.

“is this what you fucking wanted?” billie asks, her question broken up by each grunt.

“yes. fuck… yes, billie” her hand reaches up your spine again, collecting your hair and wrapping it around her hand into a makeshift ponytail. billie suddenly yanks your hair back, pulling your torso up with it so that your bodies are flush against each other as she continues to fuck you from behind.

billie’s free hand creeps round to the front of your body and she begins to rub tight circles against your clit.

“i’m gonna-“ you attempt to get out but are interupted by a surge of tight fireworks in your core.

“come for me, mama” billie grunts into your ear, pulling your hair tighter before letting go. her hand snakes round and wraps aorund your neck. her fingertips dig into the sides of your neck as you cum. you’re seeing stars, your legs are coming undone beneath you, but billie’s tight grip on your neck keeps you stable.

“so fucking pretty, baby. coming undone at my fingertips” billie whispers in your ear as you come down from your high. once your pussy stops clenching round billie’s strap she pulls out of you quickly before spanking your ass twice.

“on your knees. now.”

following her command, you drop down in front of her.

“clean up your mess” billie commands. you make eye contact with the black strap in front of you, coated in your white juices. sticking your tongue out, you lick the underside of the strap from the base to the tip. you continue to lick the strap clean before standing up again.

“open” you tell billie, grabbing her jaw in your hand, yanking her mouth open into an O shape. she lays out het tongue flatly. you smile at her obedience, a stark contrast from only moments ago before you collect the cum in your mouth to the front.

you hover your mouth over hers, alowing the concoction of spit and cum to drip into her mouth. as the warm spit lands on her tongue, billie moans out, licking her tongue along your lower lip.

“you taste so good, baby” she comments once she’s swallowed. you smile in satisfaction before leaving a tender kiss on her lips.

“thank you, baby”

billie smiles in return, “thank you, my love. it’s my favorite thing to do”

[st4ringlow]

suna rintarou x reader

bestfriends to lovers. just fluff. very rushed, sorry for everything you find unpleasant. idk what else do i put here

"what do you want for your birthday?"

suna hums in contemplation, munching on the cucumber salad you were eager to try from a tiktok influencer you've seen. now that he thinks of it, his birthday is just a few days away. "dunno, if i say it are you even able to afford it?" he said, a teasing smirk grows as he watches you roll your eyes. "i'd like to know still but just so i can have more reason to hate the rich," you said nonchalantly, popping another cucumber slice into your mouth. you hear suna hums again, a temporary silence keeping you both company as the man beside you puts his thinking cap to work.

"a cartier watch,"

"jesus you're fucking high-demand,"

"lol"

"dont 'lol' me in an oral conversation," your response earns a laugh from suna, who clearly enjoys having you annoyed. you roll your eyes again, wiping the sauces on your hand. "whats up with you and your obsession with watches, geez," you ask, but it didnt really come off a question but rather a subtle insult of 'hey man youre just so weird '. suna knows that.

"oh, a man cant have a hobby now?" suna scoffs, grabbing his phone from the coffee table. "you spent thousands on each of them, rin," you said, voice bolding at the word 'thousands'. you watch him shrugs as he scrolls on his phone. "so?"

"you have 10 of them already!"

"yeah and i dont have a cartier watch yet,"

"youre crazy,"

"crazy? i was crazy once,"

"dude shut up,"

"okay,"

there was a silence filling up the room as you both stopped talking, only the sound of the tv playing in the background. "seriously though, what do you want for your birthday?" you broke the silence, tone coming out more serious this time. suna looks up from his phone, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of curiosity. "honestly? i havent really thought about it," he admits. "why? so eager to please the birthday boy, huh?" the corners of his lips lifts up, seeing you got worked up by his last remark.

"am not,"

suna chuckles softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "sure, sure," he teases, leaning back on the couch. "but seriously, i havent given it much thought. maybe... just spending time with you would be enough."

you feel your heart skip a beat at his words, a warmth spreading through your chest. "oh, come on, you can do better than that," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "there must be something you want."

suna's gaze softens as he looks at you, a small smile playing on his lips. "well, if you insist... how about a day where we just do all our favorite things together? no distractions, just us."

suna watches as your mouth falls open, unable to spit out a word. a blush creep up on your cheeks, and he cant help but find it endearing.

"are you trying to hit on me?"

"is it not obvious enough?"

[shouyuus]

tsukki & 12pm? ♡♡♡

writing/warmup game closed!

tsukki; 12pm --

"surprise!"

"... why are you sitting on the floor of my office?" tsukki blinks at you, a tiny frown carved between his brows as you grin up at him from on top of a checked blanket splayed out on his austere museum back office, the bright yellow of your dress nearly blinding set against the light wood and muted walls.

"we're having a picnic!" you chirrup up at him, motioning to the wicker basket full of finger sandwiches and two fully packed bento boxes.

"you... do realize that i'm not the only person who works in this office, right?" he asks, glancing at the two other empty desks in the room. you nod, humming as you pull a bottle of what looks very much like chilled aloe juice from seemingly nowhere.

"sure! but they're out having lunch outside, so it's just the two of us for the next..." you glance down at the watch on your wrist, "forty-two minutes -- now c'mon! otherwise the soup's gonna get cold!"

you produce a small soup tin from the basket as tsukki finally drops down next to you with a soft sigh, sounding somehow both resigned and amused.

"here you go," you hand him a small bowl of soup and spoon that unfolds, clicking into place as you plop it in to is steaming bowl. he watches with muted fascination as you snap open your own spoon and pick up the remainder of the soup.

"it's red miso, your favorite," you say, glancing up.

tsukki watches you blow on the surface of the soup for a second before taking a careful sip. a smile tickles at the corners of his lips, a tremor of something he's long since learned to recognized as affection unfurling inside his chest like the petals of a night-blooming flower, fragrant to the point of pungence. he clears his throat and takes a slow sip of his own soup. it warms him down to the length of fingers and the tips of his toes.

"so," he says, after a brief moment of amiable silence, "what's the occasion?"

you regard him with those eyes of yours, and in the soft, diffused light casted in from his south-facing windows, they glimmer like so many dusk-lit fireflies.

"no occasion!" you say, polishing off the rest of your soup with a contented ah. tsukki leans forward to wipe a thumb along the corner of your lips, collecting a stray drop of soup there. you lick at the place his thumb had pressed, persephone's blush rosy on the high of your cheeks.

tsukki wipes his finger, a tight something caught in his throat. he looks down at his own half-finished soup, his reflection in the rippled surface, a tenderness spreading through him that he's somehow always associated with you. it is this, he thinks, that makes him understand why a lord of the underworld might break heaven and earth for a single taste of spring.

"i just wanted to see your face," you said, putting down your soup tin and reaching for one of the finger sandwiches. you break it in half with delicate fingers and offer him half. when he reaches for it, you tug back slightly, a devious gleam in your eyes.

tsukki sighs before leaning forward, opening his mouth. you pop the bite of sandwich on his tongue and he tries not to shiver at the way the cucumber and cream melt into the soft white bread, the way your fingertips barely skim the edge of his lips.

"good, right?"

tsukki nods, "mm... yeah. nod bad."

you seem to preen beneath his words, and he feels heat creeping into his own cheeks even as he ducks his head, reaching up to fiddle with his glasses. he almost tries to stop himself at the sound of your tinkling laughter.

"you always do that when you're nervous."

he grunts, shrugging, "you're very good at making me nervous."

"even after all this time?" you ask, voice slinking up at the end with a tease.

tsukki sighs, "unfortunately... it's an affliction that doesn't seem to dull with time."

you laugh, delighted at his answer. he glances up to see you grinning, and it's this more than anything that propels him forward. you squeak, your lips salty with miso against his.

you're breathless when he pulls away, one lens of his specs slightly fogged with your heaving breaths.

"hm," he glances down at your wide, glossy eyes, your parted, kiss-slicked lips, "that doesn't get old either, it seems."

"y-yeah? i mean --" you swallow, reaching up to tug gently at the hairs at the nape of his neck. his knee bumps into the wicker basket, the gentle clink of silverware ringing like warning bells, but he's long since been passed caring.

if his soup spills, so be it. if the rice goes cold, then he'll have it cold.

"mean... what?" he asks.

you bite at your bottom lip; tsukki quirks and eyebrow.

"w-we haven't really kissed that much over -- mmphf!"

tsukki grins, tugging you closer on the thin checked picnic blanket, the fabric scrunching beneath you.

"yeah? you don't think so?" he asks, now hovering above you. there's a lance of sunlight falling like a bar of gold across your cheek.

your lashes flutter; the dust motes dance in the slantwise light like tiny fairies caught in resin. you give your head a tiny, abortive shake.

tsukki hums low in his throat, lets his lips lilt up into a signature smirk as he cocks his head.

"well, we'll just have to fix that then, won't we?"

[quandledlngle69]

☆ GENRE/THEMES/WARNING: Gore, corpse, murder, electrocution, mention of drugs, frat party, reader is a bimbo, reader is fem, reader is implied to be stupid outside of killing, reader is a little weird. ☆ W.C. 0.9K.

Thinking about Ghostface!Kaiser, who resides in the heart of Berlin, a football prodigy in a top college. His life seems flawless to outside eyes, but when the light of day disappears, and the darkness comes to swallow the city whole, he’s the reason for the terror caused, the string of brutal murders of college kids that have everyone on edge. 

He thrives in it, the whole spectacle. He makes sure the crime scenes are a show of blood, gore, and things that would make even the most hardened detective try not to let their earlier lunch come up their throats. 

And then, someone comes and steals a piece of his spotlight. 

The kills are messy, like his, but way more sloppier. Leaving the corpses as if they were dissecting a frog in biology, or like someone was blown up from the inside out. They seemed to only target females, not males, which he quickly learned it’s probably because it's either they couldn’t take down an average male, or they were some boy creep. The girls had things in common, either they were popular, cheerleaders, or mean bitches, or the lucky draw of all three.

It takes a couple weeks, but he finally figures out the killer is you on Halloween night.

He loves nights like these, where can just go out in his mask and costume, strew up the guts of a couple of kids at a college house party – and no one would know. It was the biggest frat party that year – and everyone was either black out drunk, high, or coked out. His target was the host, a popular girl on a cheerleading team, a spoiled daddy's girl who only got in because her father was buddy's with the school principal. She had gotten tired of the party downstairs and went to go take a bath, according to the whispers he overheard. He had managed to slip past silently upstairs, like a shadow. His blood felt hot, already pumping with the familiar build up of adrenaline.

But his target wasn’t alone, he saw you stood over the tub. 

It was you, the dizzy, bimbo girl he would see in the hallways and in his criminology lectures. You were an international student. He had no clue how you got in, with the way you would ask questions with common sense answers, earning a puzzled look from the professor and whispered snickers in the room. You always looked like a lost rabbit in a crowd of wolves, and you were too clumsy to be left alone with even a plastic fork. You dressed like you were pushed straight out of that one American movie he had heard of–mean girls. You were bubbly, pretty and sociable enough to get a seat at the cheerleaders table, and the attention of the mere meatheads he played with; who only paid attention to you babble when you wore a low cut shirt, and you were none the wiser.

You were a target on his list, not at the top, but still on it. He wouldn’t tell you that though. 

You were dressed as a stereotypical playboy bunny outfit, but–pink. The whole dramatic and sexy outfit was a juxtaposition to the bloodlust in your big eyes. The girl had her headphones in, her voice dreadfully loud and scratchy as she sang to some dumb pop song, cucumber slices over her eyes, completely unaware of you looming over her. The warm, lavender–scented water rippled as the girl comfortably adjusted her position in the big ceramic bowl. His gloved hand gripped his Buck 120, prepared to have two for one bodies for his art piece, but he paused when he saw you holding something. 

The toaster was heavy in your hands, its metal surface cool over your twitchy fingers. His sharp eyes followed the cord connected to it, all the way to the outlet by the sink wall. Your posture showed a hit of debate, before he watched you harshly rip back the curtain, the screeching sound loud enough to startle the once relaxed girl in the tub–who finally took the cucumbers off her eyes. She immediately shrieked, obviously upon being seen in the bath, but you, a guest, were standing over her tub with a toaster in your hand, a manic look plastered on your features. 

It was like he was watching some cheesy, comedic horror movie. 

“Hey, do you ever think about how dangerous electricity and water are together?” You asked with an almost dazed look on your face, your eyebrows and nose scrunched, as if your brain was trying hard to figure out the answer to your own question.

Before the girl could answer, the toaster purposely slipped from your hands.

The moment it hit the water, bright and angry sparks erupted– cracking like fireworks. The bathwater was an inescapable death trap, the girl's body jerking and convulsing violently as her mouth opened in a violent scream, before it swallowed bathwater. The bubbles and bathwater spilled from the sides, getting the bathmat wet, the water seeping in it, turning it a darker colour. The bathroom lights flickered above, and the distinct smell of burning flesh swirled in the air. 

And then– stillness. 

You tilted your head, crouching just a little almost to admire your work, before unplugging the cord from the wall. You mumbled, almost to yourself, “Guess you don’t have to worry about your split ends anymore.”

Kaiser was still in the shadow of the doorway, grinning from ear to ear under his mask. He was silent with his stalking, and you were only able to gauge his presence when he was directly behind you, flinching when your back hit a hard, muscular chest. 

You didn't seem even a little afraid as you looked up at him through your lashes, your glossy lips parted in surprise.

Scheiße, maybe he won’t kill you just yet.

Quandaledlngle69 © 2025

[fihli]

thunderbolts instagram headcanons sure why not

ava is the unofficial thunderbolts team photographer and she's so good at it

she has also never once taken a flattering photo of john

bucky's account is 98% professional level pics of alpine and 2% badly lit selfies of him and sam. he has the most followers out of any of the team by a mile

when he eventually breaks down and makes alpine her own account (he has too many photos and wants to share them all), she has more followers than any superhero, thunderbolt or not, within the week

alexei steals photos from everyone else's accounts and posts them as his own

before he was a thunderbolt, bob's instagram was mildly famous for him posting nothing but memes, stoner food reviews, and (illegal?) parkour videos. the abs probably didn't hurt either

he hasn't deleted any of them

bob reynolds = pr nightmare

john and bob have very loud and open competition going as to who can gain the most followers; whenever he's losing, john posts shirtless bob pics. why does he have a surplus of shirtless photos of bob? no one knows

yelena's engagement went up 100% when she started posting cucumber content

however, she refuses to give the people what they want and continues to post selfies, grainy creep shots of the rest of the team, and 1 (one) #cucumberpic per week

ALEXEI TYPES IN ALL CAPS he thinks it makes his posts sound exciting

john still follows and/or stalks people he went to high school with and curates his feed so it looks like he's doing better than they are

he gained a lot of followers after being given the handle atCaptainAmerica, and lost an almost equal amount after switching to atUSAgent. he's still bitter

one time bucky stuck his tongue out in one of ava's group selfies and no one has let him live it down since

bonus: actual legitimate thunderbolts instagram feeds

[little-forest-goblin]

My Lover in the Cottage

Synopsis: Five finally got that retirement he wanted. He finally was able to pack his things and move to the countryside but what he didnt expect was to come upon the love of his life.

Warnings: Angst, spicy scenes, Crazy obsessed ex, slight violence, teeth rotting fluff, bad grammar

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Finally.  

Five finally got his retirement. He moved to the countryside, the beautiful land surrounded by plants, farms and fresh air. He of course didn't move too far away to be close to his family but far enough from the city. Far away from the life that has caused more harm than it ever did good.

His car pulled up on the dirt road and up the driveway. He turned off the car and grabbed his car keys and shoved them into his pocket and got out of the car and took a good look around breathing deeply in the fresh air. He closed the car door and went up to the house door and unlocked it. It was beautiful and comfortable and just…him. 

Over a course of a few weeks he enjoyed unpacking and settling his things into the house that he carried from the academy into place. He had to go to furniture stores to get items and it was an odd new adjustment being able to buy his own furniture that he liked. It overwhelmed it at one point and he couldn't even get through the door before he turned around and went back into the car and left to go home.

After a day he got to the furniture store and gave himself a pep talk before going into the store. He had to or he might break down. Once he got in he found it wasn't as scary as he thought. His house now was full of the items he liked and the decor he wanted. He wont show it but he was very proud of himself. He rewarded himself by going to a nice cafe in the nearest town and getting a chocolate croissant. 

After he had his house finished and furnished it the way he wanted he busied himself with things outside. Watering plants he bought from a nearby garden center or starting up a vegetable garden behind the house. He found that he did not have the greenest thumb out there. In the apocalypse the ground was dry as hell and all the water he got or found mattered and not meant to be wasted. 

He was really trying to grow vegetables which he did a lot of reading up on. He got okay with it but it was only a little bit where he would find a good cucumber or good tomato. 

Soon though loneliness began to creep up. Don't get him wrong, he loved his home. He loved that he could walk out onto the porch and find fresh air and beautiful clear skies but he didn’t talk to many people out there. He got himself caught up in his own business and things to be done that he didn't think to make friends. 

One morning he woke up and he felt a shift in the air and this time it wasnt a sinking feeling of impending doom. It was the feeling of something new was bound to happen. He tried not to get his hopes up. He sat up and looked at the clock to find that it was 11:25 am. His schedule was out of whack. Too many late nights leading to too late of waking. 

He went out of his room and into the kitchen immediately going to the coffee machine. He waited and listened to the coffee machine dripping coffee into the cup. He had gotten one of those fancy coffee machines for that decent cup of coffee he has long desired for. He looked around at the same four walls he remembered well now. The same floor and ceiling and same window placement. The silence that came with it was buzzing in his ears next to the same sound of the coffee machine. He sighed and closed his eyes, his head falling back against the wall. That feeling of loneliness close to pulling him under. 

Suddenly from outside on the front porch landed a white wild dove on the railing. It made its call snapping five out of his lonely daze and made him look to the open window where the dove was. Just then on the dirt path outside a beautiful woman on a bike peddled by. Her dress skirt gently flowing as she peddled by. He was caught off guard for a minute cause he hasn't seen anyone come down that path except for occasional cars. The dove flew off the porch and towards her and landed on the ground making her gasp and suddenly stop her bike making her fly over the handlebars into the dirt. 

This put five into alarm. A protectiveness he didn’t understand came over him and he was out the door and down the porch and making his way to her “Miss are you alright?” 

[Your POV] 

You had gotten up and ready for the day. You had watered your plants and feed your chickens. You threw on a dress and was out the door and on your bike. You had headed down to a path that went into a clearing in the forest where you frequented on a occasion to get giant edible puffball mushrooms. Your basket on the front of the bike had two giant puffball mushroom all wrapped in red and white picnic cloth. You were on a happy high doing something you liked to do.

You had been alone in your cottage for a couple years. You busied yourself too much to actually ever face your loneliness. You made yourself busy enough so you didn't have to think about it. So you could fall asleep easily. 

You yourself moved out of the city too. You had a number of reasons as to why you moved out of the city. You've been living in a shitty one bed one bath living off of a convenience store wage. Your boyfriend, Marcus, at the time that was your highschool sweetheart had been unemployed and couldn’t hold a job if it depended on his life. The final straw with Marcus was when you came home from work and found him in bed with who you thought was your best friend for life. 

Once you questioned him after kicking your ex-best friend out if you found he has not only cheated with her in you guys own bed but with others including your own sister, trisha. You kicked him out of your apartment. You tried blind dating for a while. Some girls, some guys some theys but none ever turned serious. You were behind on rent and your boss kept riding your ass to do a better job. 

The final straw was the day after a particularly bad date and your boss called you into his office and said he can raise your pay if you on the occasion give him a little “Stress relief” he liked to call it. You immediately quit the job on the spot. You were not about to stay in a toxic work environment and on top of that deal with a creepy boss who makes the environment toxic. There was no way in hell. 

You got home setting your purse on the table a little too hard for your liking. You didn't have much to eat in the fridge other than some boxed pre cooked pasta from the store. You got that started up. You saw your mail box keys on the counter next to the microwave . You realized you haven't checked your mail in a long time. God the mailman must hate you. 

You took your keys and just like the day decided it was gonna get worse it was pouring rain. And when you say pouring you meant that in the lightest way possible. It was thundering and the tree’s were shaking. You quickly got to the mailbox and opened it up and no surprise was there a heaping pile of mail in the box. You quickly went to the staircase. The winds picking up even more, almost knocking you on your ass. you held onto the railing and made it down the hall, the wind whipping as you protected your mail. As you walk by a door a neighbor came out, a nice old lady peeked her head out almost in a panic

“What are you doing out here girl?!” she called out to almost inaudible over the wind

you looked at her holding your mail against your chest “I had to get my mail! What's going on?!” 

the old lady called over the wind again “It's a tornado baby! They just called it over the news!”

well no wonder you didn't know. you don't listen to the news. you looked out and in the far off distance you saw it swirling.

The old lady waved her hand trying to usher you inside “Come on baby come on!”

you hurried to her apartment where she led you to the bathroom where you and her got to her closet. The wind howled and yelled. You could hear that the front door to her apartment was blown open. The old lady soon said they were in the clear cause she was the only one with a phone. You stepped out of the closet thanking the old lady over and over. Until you went home seeing the damage outside hell even a car was flipped over. 

You got to your apartment and you went to your kitchen in a daze and ate your now cooked pasta. you got ready for bed and once you sat down on your bed you broke down crying. Today has been a shitty fucking day you needed to cry it out. You cried yourself to sleep. When you woke up you headed to the kitchen and made coffee. You watched as the coffee dripped into the pot and you looked at your mail and picked it up going through it until you got a letter from..your grandma? you haven't heard from her for almost a while

You tore that open and read the letter. Your grandma died and she passed you on the cottage she lived in along with her money. 

So that's how you got here. Your grandma died and passed you on to her home and money. You mourned and uprooted your life to live there. You got your income by growing vegetables, fruits and herbs from the garden and selling half to the market in town. 

Now here you are. You fell over your bike and your puffballs on the ground, your bike on its side and you with a couple cuts. You did not feel alright to say the least. “Yeah, i got a few cuts but i think i'm alright”

You saw him approach. He helped you up and looked at your scraped up palms “That dove got in the way, scared me good”

he nodded as he looked down at your scraped up bloody knees “Yeah he did. Jesus christ that doesn't look good”

you looked down to your own knee’s seeing that he was right. They did not look good. “Yeah no they didn't.”

He offered to help patch you up which you were gonna protest but he insisted. He didn't give off the vibe as someone who wanted to kill you. You needed some sort of interaction anyway so you agreed.

He took you inside and to his bathroom to get your knees and palms all fixed up. He sprayed antibacterial on the cuts and bandaged them up. You were grateful and thanked him

It was silent for a minute as yall moved to his kitchen where he prepared coffee for you. The light dripping noise could be heard along with deafening silence. It didn't bother you too much since you’ve gotten used to it after being alone for so many years. Five finally broke the silence.

“So where’d you come from? I’ve never seen you before.” he said as he got some creamer out, holding it up silently asking if you wanted creamer. 

You nodded and spoke as he added creamer “I live down the road near the forested area”

he looked to you confused as he set the coffee cup down in front of you and sat across from you “You live down there? But I've driven a bunch of times and I've never seen a house by the wooded area.”

you smiled “When you come up on the fork in the road do you go past the bridge or have you been taking the other way?”

His eyes widened and he chuckled “I'm assuming you live past the bridge?”

you sipped your coffee “Yes i live past the bridge”

you and him laugh for a second till you both calm into a silence that this time wasn't so awkward. It was oddly comfortable for two people that just met. 

Eventually you and him went back outside to pick up your bike and mushrooms. He had picked up one of them and looking at them with intrigue

“Jesus what the hell are these things?” he said turning the giant puffball in his hands

you turned to him as you picked up your bike off the ground “Its giant puffball mushrooms. They're edible if you know what to look for.” 

He nodded and set them in your basket. You got onto your bike balancing yourself so as to not fall “Thank you for patching me up. I really appreciate it.”

He nodded and smiled softly, those dimples softly showing on his cheeks that gave him this boyish charm “Yeah i couldn't just leave you there a crumple of limbs. The least I could do was fix you up.”

You nodded and looked down the dirt path where your home is and back to him “How come I've never seen you around?” 

He sighed “I just moved in a few weeks ago. I've been busy setting up my house and garden. I only had a few items to my name at the time”

You nodded. You could sorta relate. A lot of your items were taken by Marcus, your ex, when you kicked him out that he thought he was entitled to. You didn't have a lot of money with minimum wage so you didn't buy your items back. At the time you sometimes wonder why you didn't call the police to get your items back. You guess you just wanted to cut him from your life entirely. 

Five looked you over. You were very pretty. Your floral dress hugged you just right but the skirt was flowy so it gently lapped in the wind when you rode your bike or on a breezy day. The dress was a little ruined by dirt stains when you fell off your bike but surely it would come out easily. He thought back to how alone he is. How cut off he was. Sure he liked his retirement but he has been alone for 45 years and that was enough for him. He liked his privacy but he needed people too. Before he could even think he blurted out “Maybe we can talk some other time, hang out or something you know?” 

He felt stupid just as he said it. He felt embarrassed and desperate.

You looked at him and thought for a moment. You thought about how alone you were in your own cottage. It was lovely to live in it and go about your hobbies and daily tasks but you were alone. You immediately pushed the thought away. You didn't wanna think about it. “I guess you can come around if you want” you tried to sound indifferent at the thought of him coming around but something in you almost begged for him to come around.

He felt a sort of tug at him telling him despite the slight indifference in your tone that you wanted him around. He didnt wanna intrude but you did say he could come around “yeah…yeah…”

There was an awkward silence after a while until you got onto your bike properly “well ill see you around, five.”

“Yeah yeah you too” he watched you pedal away down the dirt path. A small kick up of dirt and dust trailing behind you. His eyes wouldn't allow him to look away until she was physically not able to be seen. His heart did a soft pitter patter in his chest. He couldn't understand this pull he had to you but it was undeniable. He made his way back up onto his porch and inside his home. He went and sat down at his table across from where you used to sit. He sighed and sipped his minimal but now cold coffee. He looked over and saw in your spot where you sat was a silver necklace that had a locket on it. He picked it up and examined it. He certainly did not own a necklace so it must be yours. Now he had an excuse to go to your place.

For a few days he procrastinated. His nerves getting the best of him. He knew you probably missed it. He eventually gathered his nerves and went into his car and drove down the dirt road. He was gonna give up at some point until he remembered to go past the bridge. He carefully passed the rickety bridge and went down the road until he came upon the cottage on the edge of the forest. It was very beautiful. It had a nice fence around it with a gate and stepping stones that led to the door. Vines growing up the walls and rose bushes along the edge of the fence. There was a line for drying cloth and items. On the side of the house was a garden box and on the other was a chicken coop. Some of the chickens were out doing what chickens do. His eyes went soft. It was nice and felt comfy.

He parked the car outside the cottage and got out, locket in hand. He was pulled from his thoughts when he saw you coming out from behind the house holding a feisty chicken and carrying it back to the chicken coop. He could hear you scolding the chicken. 

“Damn it ginger! I’ve told you multiple times you cant be going out of the yard like that. This isn't like chicken run. I'm not going to make you into pot pies!” you put her back down in the general area of the coop and sighed and petted her “what am i gonna do with you, girl?”

He chuckled softly at the sight and he looked at the locket in hand and he finally approached gently opening the gate and stopping next to you. He cleared his throat causing you to look up at him. He looked a little awkward, his free hand scratching the back of it. “Hey”

“Hey” you stood up looking at him “I didn't think you’d actually come around” 

He chuckled “Yeah. i…i had to.” he held up the locket “You left this at my place” and handed it to you

your eyes widened and you gasped “oh my god i thought i lost it forever! Where was it?” and she took it from him looking at the locket

“It was at the table when you left. I completely forgot to bring it to you” he knew he shouldn’t have lied and fessed up that he was scared and nervous as all hell. 

You looked at him “thank you, it's very important to me.”

“If you don't mind me asking why’s it important to you?” 

You looked up at him away from the locket “It was my grandma. She wore it all the time. It used to have a picture of her and grandpa in it but when she died she gave it to me.” you looked back down at the locket. “She didnt like a lot of the family but she loved me a lot. A lot of our family was not exactly great people and a lot of them wanted the cottage because it is worth a lot. She didn't want it to be sold and she knew none of them were gonna ever listen so she passed it to me. I'm glad she did. I loved this place just like she did” you were silent for a minute you felt stupid cause how desperate were you for someone to be around and to confide in that you told your business to a complete stranger “i'm sorry i started rambling i-” you looked up at him and where shocked to find that he was staring at you adoringly and in wonder

He was so enamored with you at this point. Your eyes gave a sort of twinkle when you talked about your life and it made his heart pound. When you noticed the look you blushed softly, a little taken off guard by his look of adoration. “Wh-whats the look for?”

He shook his head, snapping himself out of it “nothing! I just think that you're…interesting.” That was the very least. The word he wanted to use was incredible. You were incredible to him and that was rare cause he has seen some incredible things in his time on this earth but you…you were something else new. Something new he wanted to experience all the time.

You swallowed hard. This feeling that you haven't experienced for a couple years was messing with you and you didn't want to let it go but you didnt wanna put yourself in that position either or give that idea. You steered the conversation in a completely different direction “Hey do you wanna come see my garden box? You mentioned back at your place that you were having some gardening issues. Maybe I can give you some tips?”

He nodded that he wanted that very much. He wanted to spend time with you some more. He was confused by you steering the conversation away but he wasn't gonna push it “yeah actually that would be greatly appreciated. If my garden could talk i think id get depression from the insults it would throw at me” 

You laughed a little and led him to the garden boxes. Once there he saw your garden full of fruits and vegetables of all kinds. Bell peppers of all colors and big tomatoes are just about ready to be plucked from their plant. Raspberry bushes are beautifully red and blueberries that you can smell right from the plant and so much more.

“Wow you have an amazing garden. Are you a natural at gardening or did you also have to do some trial and error?” he said whilst crouching down looking at your plants

“It took a lot of work, let me tell you but it was all worth it in the end” you smiled at him as he looked at your garden in both wonder but also seeming to analyze it trying to see what he had to do to make himself better. What made your garden tick?

You chuckled “do you want me to tell you how to make yours just as good?”

He looked at you “god please my garden is begging from here”

You smiled and led him to your shed in the back of your cottage. You opened it up and ushered him inside

“Your not gonna kill me and bury me in your garden as plant food right?” he joked

You laughed “what?! No!” you headed to a corner where a bag was “speaking of plant food this brand of fertilizer is really good for making your plants grow. It's also cheap.” 

He nodded and looked at you as you explained and talked to him about what was best for gardens and plants. You looked so in your element it was beautiful. His eyes never left you just staring. If he didnt believe in soulmates he sure as hell might now cause god he didnt wanna let you go even though you guys just met. It wouldn't be realistic if he said he was in love.

You were very aware of his eyes on you and it made you nervous. It made you sweat a little. Your heart patterning in your chest at a beat that you didn't want too. It wasn't helping that he looked so handsome. His style of clothing bordering between this odd mix of a young man in his 20’s and a old man who has lived a long life. It was odd but suit him so well. It was a style all him. 

After you guys talked about gardens you and him went inside. It was hot and you and he needed an ice cold drink. 

“Sit down anywhere i'll get you something to drink. What do you want? Water? lemonade? juice? i have a little whiskey my grandma kept for grandpa before he passed but considering your driving i really dont think thats a good idea” you looked over at him

he thought for a minute and before he could think he blurted out “I can stay the night” he felt stupid immediately once again

your eyes widened. You were a little shocked but everything in your body wants him to stay but your heart and mind battle on a constant. “Yeah…yeah. That sounds great”

he felt relief flood him. You got two glasses with ice and put some whiskey in the glass and brought them over and handed him a cup. He took a sip and his brow raised “Oh that's pretty good. Your grandpa had good taste”

you smiled and didn't sip the whiskey “Yeah it was his favorite brand. He drank a glass occasionally. Me personally i don't like whiskey”

he nodded “How come if you don't mind me asking?”

you smiled and looked at him away from the glass “I don’t exactly like drinking things that feel like gasoline in my throat”

He laughed at that. You and him talked for what felt like hours. You had only sipped the whiskey so as to not have your throat burn but as you got more and more into your system you got more tipsy. You and him ended up in the kitchen raiding your poor pantry for snacks.

After some time you guys were going to sleep. You chuckled. You both had a bit to drink.  a bit meaning a lot. Whatever grandpa drank was STRONG. You tried to push him to the guest bedroom laughing “Five you gotta sleep there!”

he shook his head “No no to hot!” he hiccuped and latched onto you “Ill…ill sleep in your room. I'm sure it's cooler” he said his O’s all drawn out and his best cool voice.

You and him ended up in your bedroom in the bed. you whined “It's too damn hot!” you went and pulled off your dress and went to your closet you looked at five “No peeking!!!”

he hiccuped and turned around “i'm not! I'm not!”

You ended up in shorts and a tank and crawling into bed. He pulled off his shirt and was laying next to you. He looked at you as you guys laid down. Even in his drunken mind there was this sense of peace being laid there with you. His eyes couldnt and wouldnt dare to leave you. Even in your drunkenness you were so pretty.

Little did he know next to him the same thoughts were running through her freely drunken mind. Her heart softly pounding in her chest slowly syncing to his own was the only thing she heard in her ears. His hair falling onto the pillow with grace and his soft but intense green eyes that were like piles of lush shrubbery. 

you and him were pulled to each other like a magnet, your drunken minds letting how you feel be open and up in the air. You both cuddled into each other despite having just complained of feeling hot. It felt better to feel hot than to be apart.

In the morning you and he woke with a pounding headache but both of you were sober now. You opened your eyes and looked over at him. You gasped and fell out the bed seeing him shirtless

he shot up in a panic “What?! what?!”

“What did we do last night?! you're shirtless!” you looked at him panicked. He looked at himself panicked and to you and he let out a sigh “Your clothed”

you looked at yourself and laid back on the floor letting out the biggest sigh of relief “Oh thank heavens!”

After the initial scare they got some coffee. I have a bad headache. She grabbed some ibuprofen and got glasses of water “Here. This is a must” 

he looked over and he made a sound of relief “Oh god you must be a personal angel”

you blushed and chuckled a little at that. You and him took the ibuprofen and downed a glass of water. you and him relaxed the rest of the day. You insist he stays so that he can rest up.

After that you and him were almost inseparable. You and him kept eachother company and made each other's lonely world brighter. You taught him the ways of gardening and keeping chickens and soon his garden was as gorgeous as yours. The thought of keeping him away to protect your heart was out the window faster than you could blink. You guys spent time together whether it was going out or staying at home. 

Today He came into your house. The door was unlocked. Nobody really visited you except for him so you didn't bother locking it. You looked over from the kitchen as you were sipping some lemonade you made 

“Are you still on for today?” you sipped your lemonade and watched him approach the kitchen

“Yeah yeah you already ready?” he looked down at your pretty blue dress and back at you

you nodded “Mhm. We’re taking the bikes instead of the car”

he smiled and leaned against the wall “Ah ah ah not so fast, princess, you forget you only have one bike”

you smirked “Incorrect, genius.”

He looked at you confused as you set your cup down and excitedly led him outside to your shed where you opened it up to reveal a new bike. His eyes widened. You got it for him.

Later you and him were flying down the path to the small town nearby. You laughed as he really got into his new bike. He looked at you and watched as you laughed, your hair whipping in the wind and your dress flowing softly with it. He could never look away if he wanted to.

Later you and him are in the grocery store. You're both in the baking aisle. You and him planned to make cookies together, a fun activity the two of you decided to do on a whim. The problem was you guys forgot the recipe back at the cottage.

You and him stood in front of the different extracts eyeing them up to see which kind the cookies were again.

He finally piped up “I think its classic vanilla”

you furrowed your brows looking to him “No i'm pretty sure its maple”

he scoffed “Than you should get your eyes checked”

your head snapped to his “my eyes?! you couldn't hardly see the chicken feed!”

“that was different!” he proclaimed 

“different? different how!?” you put your hands on your hips looking at him

“You hid them! You hid them in your stupid shed! he huffed

You little- It was right in front of your face!” you all but yelled

you and him throughout the store though it may seem like fighting but it was actually bickering and it was all playful. You and him had fun like this. You bickered and argued. You laughed and had fun together. 

Later when you guys got home you and him were baking the cookies together. You ended up in a flour fight after he got flour all over your shirt. 

“Damn it, five holds still!!” you laughed and dodged a pile of flour being hurled at you

“what? no! I'm not gonna stand there and let you cover me in flour!” he sputtered when he caught a facefull of flour. He counteracted with another handful

You dodged looking to where the pile landed which was all over your stove. You turned to him “Ha! you mi-“ wrong-o. He caught you in the face with flour

He was laughing. You laughed and got up to him and tried to pour flour down his shirt.

“No wait! agh!” he laughed and tried to keep away. He fell to the flour covered kitchen floor. He grabbed you trying to pull you down with him “If i go down you're going down!”

you laughed and tried to keep standing “No you evil bastard! no!!!” you ended up on the floor with him laughing and playfully wrestling until he rolled you over and had you on your back his hands pinning yours beside your head as he straddled you 

“Ha!”

you laughed and tried to struggle to try and pin him but it was no use. You huffed and looked up at him. It took you a few minutes to realize the position you both were in but when you realized what was going on your face grew hot and red. He seemed to notice what was going on and soon his face followed in pursuit. you both began to lean in close almost like you were pulled by a magnet telling you to close the distance. your mouth began to feel dry and your heart was running too fast for your liking. Five's heart was screaming at him to close the distance, take your lips with his. Your lips a hair away about to touch.

It was interrupted by a certain smell. No it wasn't yours or his breath. It smelt like…burning? you looked at him with knitted brows “Do you smell that?”

he lifted his head and sniffed at the air “Yeah what the hell is that actually” 

your eyes widen and look over the stove. You and him had put butter in a sauce pan to brown for the cookies. Flour got into the stove and so the stove was up in flames. “OUR KITCHEN!”

he looked up “Oh shit!” he got up off of you. He was with you frantically searching for something to smother the fire. He tried to ignore his heart that stuttered when you said our. 

“Baking soda! where's my baking soda!”

he scrambled around “Isn't it usually in the cupboard?!” 

you opened it and grabbed it and dumped it on the flames making the flames go down and extinguish. 

you and him were left in a silence just processing until he began to laugh. You looked at him. His face scrunched in laughter. Joy present across his face. She blushed at his beautiful face until she began to laugh with him.

Later in the day when it was dark he stepped out of the cottage. He turned to you “I had a lot of fun baking with you today, y/n” 

you smiled and stepped out onto the porch with him “I did too, five. We should do it again sometime”

he smiled back “Yeah” he noticed a streak of flour still on your cheek. You and him had washed up after the flour fight. You must’ve caught a stray streak. his hand came to your cheek and held it, his thumb wiping away the flour “There we go, all better.”

you kept your gaze on him. You and his hearts raced as one. His face leaned closer to yours tilting lightly. “can…can i?”

you swallowed “yes” you softly said. 

His breathing turned to soft pants. His body after all this time was screaming to take you but he had to be sure “Are…are you sure? i want you to be sure”

you quickly nodded, taking his other hand into yours “Please…” 

with that his lips met yours. Your lips moving in time with his. When lips parted your tongue met each other in a gentle dance. Soft moans of delight, desire, wanting and pleasure filled the space of the porch. 

you gently backed up onto the wood railing of the porch letting yourself be trapped in. His free hand going to the wood railing to keep you in. your arms traveled around his neck as you kissed him back. It slowly got more heated and the kissing became more desperate. His hands went to your waist pulling you closer to him. He backed up back to the door of your cottage and reluctantly pulled one hand away and opened it up. His hands flew to go back to your waist.

Once inside he was quickly bringing you to the bedroom where he laid you down his kisses going to your neck which had you moaning. Your hands went into his hair tangling in the beautiful chocolate locks. one of his hands traveled from your waist to your leg gently hoisting it up around his own hips encouraging you to wrap them around him which you happily obliged in pulling him closer. 

Throughout the night his hands traced your body commiting you to memory. His lips touched every piece of skin he could have. His words were honeyed and full of praise and I love you’s. You eagerly returned your words whispering your devotion and love to him. Your own hands traced his body going under his shirt to feel him. Your own lips connected with his neck returning hickies he placed upon you. 

Panting and soft moaning was the soundtrack of the night. 

In the morning the sun poked in through the curtains. Your eyes opened softly and you looked over to five to find that he was also up. He smiled and rolled over to look at you “Goodmorning, baby”

you smiled and looked up at him “Goodmorning, handsome.” he leaned down and kissed you sweetly which you happily returned. 

You and him went to the kitchen to get coffee and make breakfast. As you made coffee he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck

you smiled closing your eyes leaning back into him enjoying his comfort as he peppered chaste kisses on your neck. 

For a long time you guys' relationship went steady. It was going well. Nights and days full of love, trust, care, comfort and companionship. Until one day one event will shake the very foundation of your relationship. 

Five were out at the store getting an ingredient you guys forgot to get for the meal that was being prepped tonight. Once he got the item he needed he headed to the checkout but stopped when he saw the flower display case. He smiled and headed over. He picked up a bouquet arrangement that had beautiful orange, red and purple flowers in them. They smelled sweet and fresh and he knew he had to get them for you.

He checked out and headed home. The entire time there was this gut feeling that kept arising like something was wrong. He tried to chalk it up to nerves but it got worse. He picked up speed in the legal limit he could go. 

Once he got there he noticed a car out front he didnt recognize. He also noticed the front door cracked open. Suddenly in his mind the bouquet he got you looked like funeral flowers. He felt like he wanted to puke. He quickly parked the car and got out hearing sounds of a struggle inside. He ran into the house to find you trying to keep away from none other than your ex marcus.

When you left Marcus after he cheated he started to spiral because he couldn't support himself and he had no one else to take care of him but you for the longest time did. He regretted his choice and became obsessed with you. He found your place of residence and came to see you.

Five were stunned for a minute. One side of your shirt was ripped revealing one side of your bra. His vision went red when he saw Marcus grab you. He was by your side in seconds yanking Marcus off you and slamming him into a wall causing a crack in the plaster. “DONT YOU EVER FUCKING TOUCH HER AGAIN!!!”

Marcus was scared shitless he wasn’t expecting that you had a new lover. When Marcus tried to struggle to get to you five did not hesitate to beat the shit out of him just till he could no longer move until the cops arrived. 

Once the cops arrived and did some questioning and all that other stuff they arrested marcus. 

He held you close whispering that you're safe and it's gonna be okay as you cried into his shoulder. 

Later that night you were on the front porch just looking out at the night time as the fireflies lit up in different colors. Five came out  gently closing the door so as to not scare you. He came up next to you leaning on the railing.

“How are you feeling baby?”

you didn't answer for a minute until a single tear fell down your cheek “I'm so sorry five. I shouldn't have opened the door i-“

he cut you off. He gently took your hand turning you to him holding your face between both his hands now “Don't you apologize for what he did. You didnt know he was there. You didn't know that he would break in and try to harm you. You didn't know he would trash the place. My love don't you apologize”

tears filled your eyes once more as you looked into his sincere ones. You held him close and buried your face into his chest. He wrapped you up in his embrace and led you inside. 

After a few days you were still jumpy after what happened but you got better. You were just lucky that Marcus never got to actually do anything to you. Five was there the whole time and soon you were back to your normal self. 

His beautiful girl was smiling as wide as she always did, your laugh was making his heart burn brighter and you even simply being there next to him made his love grow fonder.

>Fast forward a couple years<

You and him rode your bikes to a clearing in the forest. Your bike baskets full of Giant puffball mushrooms to take home. On both your fingers sat beautiful engagement rings. You and him laughed and played around within the clearing until you decided to go back home as the sunset created an orange sky up above. You rode out of the clearing down the dirt path through the forest. 

In the tree above you as you both passed by was the Dove. It made its coo and took flight to your house, ready to watch over a great love. 

———————————————————————

Hi guys! this one took me a while but i got it! more stories are on the way! i love you be safe put there 💋 😘

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

To Those Who Wait

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, virginity loss, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are tired of being the safe one so you decide to pay for some excitement.

Characters: escort!Ransom Drysdale, Curtis Everett

Note: this is intended as a one shot but you also know I'm easy to influence.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Tony loves himself. Take care. 💖

“Happy birthday!” Vivica shoves the plastic teeth of the dollar store tiara into your hair. 

You try not to glower as the rest of the table roars with laughter. It’s a happy night. You can’t spoil it just because you hate gimmicks. They mean well, you’re just a downer. Like always. 

You force a smile, “thanks, guys.” 

“Don’t thank us, it’s your night,” Jerrod chirps. “Which means you drink for free!” 

Big whoop. You barely drink. You’ll have one or two for the occasion but you don’t like the way it makes your stomach feel. Ugh, stop being such a tight ass. It’s about you but it isn’t. They went to all this trouble planning the night. For you. Your friends. You can at least be thankful for them. 

Yeah, you have friends but how much do they really know you? For as long as you’ve known them, they should know that this isn’t you. They are the ones that want to go out, that want to drink, that want to wade into the unpredictability of the general public. That’s not you. 

“So, what are we having?” Mila asks. 

“Hm, I don’t know. You know I’m not picky.” It all just tastes like alcohol. 

“Ooh, cucumber gimlet. That sounds nice,” Jerrod says. 

“Oh, it really does,” Vivica agrees. 

“I’m going to try the gummy bear. I’m in the mood for something sweet,” Mila says. 

“Sure, I’ll try that,” you shrug. 

Jerrod flags down a server and puts in the order. As he does, Vivica stirs around under the table. Mila claps as she reveals the gift bag from beneath. 

“My favourite part,” Mila wiggles with excitement. 

“Oh, you didn’t have to--” 

“It’s only one part of our gift,” Jerrod laughs knowingly. 

You give him a wary look. You don’t like his tone. You accept the gift bag and look inside. You can’t tell what it is. You pull out the tissue paper and a small box wiggles inside. Slowly, you slip it out and just as quickly shove it back in. 

“That’s it. You wanna do it just like that,” Jerrod guffaws. 

Your mouth drops open as you look around the table. The bright pink dildo has your cheeks on fire. You can’t believe they’d bring that out in public. 

“What is wrong with you guys?” 

“Oh, come on, everyone can use a good six inches or so,” Jerrod snickers. “That’s our backup gift. Our real gift is somewhere around here.” 

“Huh?” You peek around the bar. “Like a scavenger hunt?” 

“Oh, it’s a hunt,” Vivica juts out her chin. “You set the target and we’ll take him down for you.” 

“What?” You scoff. 

“Come on, honey, you’re thirty. You need to get one last hurrah in,” Jerrod insists. “When it’s my turn, I want three beefy boys. One in each flavour, blond, brunette, and even a redhead.” 

“I’ll have the same,” Mila smirks. 

You’re embarrassed. Uncertain two. You can’t tell if they’re mocking you. Out of the four of you, you’ve always been the boring one. The sober one. All these years, and you were the one saving them from regrettable drunken mistakes and making sure they don’t leave the bar with creeps. It wouldn’t be hard for them to guess, would it? 

“Don’t worry, we’ll be your wingmen. Wingwomen. Wingfriends!” Vivica says. “How about him?” She points as the server lays out the drinks. “He’s cute. Oh, look at his eyes.” 

“Wow,” Mila preens. “A bad boy. That would be adorable.” 

You want to disappear. You want to dissolve into the cushioned bench. Become a part of it. Life as a piece of a furniture must surely be nicer. 

“And his friends, not bad, huh?” 

You’re speechless. It’s a joke. Even if they don’t mean it as one, it is. All these years and you’ve never been the one approached first. You’re the straggler. You get the odd one out and they get stuck with you. Maybe, all this time, your friends had been too self-absorbed or too drunk to notice that. 

You don’t mean to be bitter. You shouldn’t be. It isn’t their fault you’re so lame. That you’ve gone another year without a single thing to be proud of. Without any change. 

“Right, well, they look busy.” 

“Booooo,” Vivica hovers her glass in front of her mouth. “Who wants to break the ice?” 

“Don’t mind if I do,” Mila stands. 

“Wait.” You blurt out but she ignores you. 

Some birthday. You get to spend it awkwardly making small talk with another disinterested stranger. You try not to show your discomfort. You grab the skewer with gummy bears impaled on it and stir the vibrant red drink. You sip through the thin straw. It makes your cheek pinch painfully. The sugar will do worse to your stomach than the vodka. 

You keep your head down as Mila’s fluttery giggle wafts over. Vivica giggles as she watches and Jerrod cranes to see. You stare at the table and distance yourself from the moment, detaching from your body as the bar hazes around you. 

“Hey, you guys, come on,” Mila calls over, “lots of room.” 

Her waving hand brings you back to the present. Vivica nudges you with her elbow as Jerrod jumps up. He grabs Mila’s drink and you shuffle along behind them. The group of men sit at one of the tall tables. They rearrange themselves and you stand back as the others claim their seats. 

You climb up on the last, balancing your drink and the gift bag, unable to bring yourself to look at the men on either side of you. You fixate on your drink and taste it again, even as the sickly flavour curdles in your mouth. Your friends introduce themselves and you choke on your name before Mila says it for you. 

The men take their turns. Your eyes dart around evasively. A sweltering heat forms a sheen across your face. The one with the frosted tips and glasses is Jensen, the broader brunette in the button-up and blazer is Nick, the biggest with his bushy beard is Sy, and the last one, beside you, with the buzz cut, is Curtis. 

“Nice crown,” Jensen says. “Happy birthday.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you reach up and take of the tiara. “Thanks.” 

“You from here or visiting?” Jerrod asks the men. 

“We work at Stacks.” 

“Programmers?” Vivica snorts. “You might know my ex. Two of them actually.” 

They laugh. You don’t know what’s funny. This is weird. You hate that invisible barrier between you and them, that makes you feel like you’re on a completely different planet. You don’t get this part of the script. The prologue is as far as you ever get. 

“How old are you?” Curtis’ deep timbre startles you as it rolls beneath the chatter of the others. You shift in your seat and twist the glass around. 

“Thirty,” you pick up the Tiara, the 3 and 0 nearly hidden by the feathers. 

“Ah, the big one,” he comments. 

“Yeah, just another year,” you put the plastic crown down. 

“What do you do?” 

You sniff and tap your fingers on the cup. You lift it and drain the last of the fruity juice and stringent vodka. “You don’t have to do this.” 

“Do what?” He asks. 

“My friends are just being goofy. You don’t have to act like you’re into me.” 

“Well, I’m not much of an actor. Never was into theatre,” he says. “I wouldn’t know, would I? Just trying to get to know you, figure that out.” 

“Really,” you give him a sideways look. “Ah,” you hiss in false disappointment, “hate to break the seal but I gotta go the ladies. Excuse me.” 

“Right,” he accepts dully. “How about I get you a refill, for your birthday?” 

“You don’t have to but if you really want to, I could use a ginger ale. Thanks.” You accept as you climb off the stool. 

You cross the bar and stop just at the threshold of the hallway that reads Girls and Boys above. You glance back. Mila has her charming smile on, Vivica is leaning into Sy, and Jerrod and Nick are watching something on his phone. Why can’t you be normal, like them? 

You flinch as you catch Curtis’ eye. His eyes flick to you as he talks to the server. You quickly spin away. You’ll wait until the third round when they’re too tipsy to care. Then you’ll make your exit. 

🍹

The hotel clerk hands you the key card. You don’t make eye contact. If you do, she might see right through you. You shove it in your pocket before the tremour is noticeable. You hurry away to the elevator and tap the button three times. 

You’re not impatient because your eager. You just want to get this over with. Finally. It only took you thirty years. 

The doors open and you step in, relieved that no one else gets on with you. When you’re shut in, you shudder. You’re disgusted. With this. With yourself. But you’re tired. You just want to pull of the bandage. You want to know what all the fuss is about so you can say you’re not missing out on anything. 

Ever since your birthday, since that pathetic deja vu of going home alone, of your friends stealing the attention on what the claim was your night, you haven’t been able to stop those thought. You’re pathetic. A loser. No wonder it’s hasn’t happened yet. Who would want to touch you? They barely want to talk to you. They wouldn’t if you weren’t a leech on your friends’ ankles. 

The doors open and jar you. You stagger then march out. You slide the card out and check the room number again. Your hands shake so bad it takes you five tries to get the green light. 

Inside the room, the nausea swells in your stomach. Your teeth chatter. You go into the bathroom and put the bag on the counter. You dig out the anti-nausea medicine and read the insert; take one or two. Do not take with alcohol. 

You pop the pink pill in your mouth and swallow. You look at your reflection. You look as scared as you feel. No time to waste, you’ve done enough of that. 

You start with the shower. You wash every crook and crevice. You check your legs and under your arms. You only shaved yesterday night but you don’t need any pricklies. And your pelvis. You did a decent enough job trimming that down. 

You get out and moisturise. You don’t want to smell. For once in your life, you don’t want to feel repugnant. You’re not some romantic. You thought of buying lingerie but that only seemed sadder. So you put on a pair of grey jersey pajamas, just a tank top and shorts. 

You don’t want to look like this is a big deal. That you tried too hard. You do your hair and a little bit of makeup. Too much would just get messy anyway. Deodorant, perfume, and mouthwash. You’re as fresh as can be. 

And anxious! 

You take out the box of condoms. You don’t think the pills are working. You want to vomit, even though you haven’t eaten. You grab your phone and check the messages. Shoot, it’s a lot later than you thought. 

‘Cashapp?’ 

Fuck, you forgot. You quickly flip over to your menu and sign in. You send the money and your chest drops. This is it. That’s a hefty wad of cash. You hope it’s worth it. 

You reply to the text; ‘sent’ then the room number. There. Done deal. It’s going to happen. Then you can say, yeah, did it, no big deal. 

You go into the suite and put your phone on the night table. You sit on the bed for a whole second before you bounce off. No, you can’t stay there. No, no, no. You pace and wring your hands as you wait. 

The knock trips you up. You turn to stare at the door and like a horror movie, your eyes widen and your ears ring. He’s here. 

You near the door and stop to look through the key hole. There’s a trickle of relief. He looks like the pictures her sent. That’s good. 

You open the door a crack and look out. He looks annoyed as he checks his watch then tugs on the lapels of his jacket. It looks like a designer; the lining has little emblems on it. He says your name, “that’s you, right?” 

“Hugh? Right?” You blink and he nods as he cheek ticks, “er, come in.” 

You pull back the door and press yourself to the wall. He struts in and clicks his tongue in his cheek. He examines the room as he shrugs out of his jacket and slings it over the small bench against the wall. You close the door and he whistles. You face him as he tilts his head, looking you up and down. 

“Smells good in here,” he grins and smooths his tidy hair. 

Despite who and what he is, he’s handsome. Well, that probably helps. It’s why you paid half your savings for one night. You sway slightly then swallow down the despair. You’re doing it. You’re really going to do it. 

A fucking prostitute. That’s as good as you can do. 

“How about some music,” he approaches the speaker under the television, “think these things have bluetooth now.” 

“Sure,” you croak, watching him as you cross your arms. It’s not too late. No, you don’t think you’ll get a refund now. 

He takes out his phone and swipes around. He holds a button on the sound bar and it chimes. Soft R&B drawls from the speaker. You bite your thumb as you stare at him. 

“So...” he looks at you. 

You nod and clear your throat. You don’t know what to do. You don’t think the whole foreplay thing is going to happen. 

He drags his hands down his cream sweater. He doesn’t really dress like an escort. Or maybe you just put too much trust in movies. He lifts the hem as you stay as you are. Your feet are glued to the floor. 

He strips off the sweater and reveals a muscled torso and a thicket of dark hair across his chest. You don’t expect it as he sports a clean shave on his jaw. You clamp down on your arms as you keep them folded across your chest. 

“Like what you see?” He winks and bites his lips. 

He’s good. You almost believe him. If you weren’t missing a chunk from your bank account, you might. 

“Come on, baby, why don’t you get some wine going,” he purrs. 

A distraction. Thank god. You go to the bar fridge and take out one of the mini bottles of white wine. You peel off the foil over the cap but can’t break the seal. You struggle, trying to hide your effort, but sense him coming close. 

“I just need to find some glass,” you say. 

He chuckles and takes the bottle. His blue eyes devour you as he cracks the seal and flicks the cap away. He drinks directly from the bottle and smirks. 

“No need. Go on,” he offers it up. 

Your lips twitch and you take the bottle. You drink, nearly gagging. You swallow and hand it back. He swigs as he watches you. 

He is so good looking. You wonder how he even got into this. He’s built like a god. No, a gladiator. You’re such a frigging dweeb. 

“Hey, you don’t gotta be uptight,” he gives the wine back to you, “relax, enjoy the wine. You paid for the night. No hurry.” 

You nod and drink again. It goes down easier. You return the bottle to him and he strides to the bed. He sits and pats the other side of the mattress.  

“Come here, sweetheart.” 

You quiver and lock your arms straight. You are conscious of every single part of you as you near him. You sit stiffly and stare ahead. The music drones as he gulps again. He bends forward to set the empty bottle on the floor. 

You wince as he drapes his arm over your shoulders. He traces the strap of your tank top and pulls you against him. You shiver as he brushes up your neck. 

“This your first time?” 

You twitch then make yourself nod. You wait for him to laugh. He doesn’t. 

“Well, let’s go slow, then.” 

“No,” you erupt. “I mean--” you grip your knees and steady yourself. “I want to just do it. Get it over with.” You grit your teeth and force a breath out your nose. “There’s condoms in the bathroom.” 

Now he laughs. “Huh, you know what you want.” 

You don’t reply. You can’t. That was the last of your courage or whatever you want to call it. 

He goes into the bathroom and you list as he opens the box. He emerges and examines the square wrapper. It looks even smaller in his large hand. He rests his other on the top of his pants. 

“How do you want it?” He asks. 

You stare at him. How do you want it? You don’t know. You raise your brows helplessly. 

“Wanna get naked?” He suggests. 

You look at the bed. You blink long and hard. Your head feels fuzzy. Must be the wine. 

“Right,” he sighs and undoes his zipper. You peek up long enough to see the top of his boxers. You back away and crawl up the bed. 

You face away from him as you strip off your shirt, then your shorts. You jitter as you lay down flat like a plank. You stare at the ceiling as the wrapper crinkles. He groans as he comes closer to the bed. 

“I like these ones,” he puts a knee on the bed. 

Your breath is like thunder. You feel like your suffocating. He touches your leg and you squeak. 

“Gonna have to open up, baby,” he pets your knee. 

You let him drag your legs apart. You can’t do it yourself. You wipe your face with a shaky hand. 

“Don’t worry, I got you.” 

Your eyes snap to him as something clicks. He holds a small bottle with a black label. He squirts the clear oil onto his fingers then reaches between your legs. You return your gaze to the ceiling before he makes contact. 

He rubs the cool lube between your folds. Your thighs quake as he glides up and down. Over and over until the moisture is more than just from the bottle. 

He tickles your entrance and you tense. He rasps as he circles around, “relax.” He pokes a finger into you and you clench. He wiggles it and hushes you as you whimper. “Look, you’re not gonna like it if you don’t chill.” 

He sinks his finger further in then pulls it out again. You blow your breath out and suck it back in as he dips inside once more. You clasp the duvet beneath you as he fingers you rhythmically. Your pussy trembles around him. 

“That’s it, baby,” he pushes a second finger into you. “You wanna be ready, huh? I mean... it’s your first time, you gotta be ready.” 

The comment is like a slap across the face. Still, you can’t focus on his words. Your eyes feel fuzzy and your body is alight with a spectrum of tingles. 

He rocks his hand and you lift your pelvis slightly. He presses his thumb against your clit and you gasp. The mix of pressure and motion is intense. You’re not completely clueless. That toy your friends gave you isn’t the only one you have, you just never used one inside of you. 

You push your head down into the pillows and moan. He hums in approval and brushes his other hand up your stomach. He rolls his thumb around your nipple. 

“Yeah, like that, relax,” he pushes deeper and you whine, little pouts coming as you dig your heels into the mattress. “Oh, my god, baby, you’re going to cum, aren’t you?” 

You squeal as you spasm. It’s not your first orgasm but it’s the best one you’ve ever had. It’s wild how different it is with someone, anyone, else. You shake as your voice unfurl and your cunt squelches around his fingers. He cooes at you as he eases you through your climax. 

“Was that so bad?” He wiggles his fingers before he pulls them free. “Huh? Think you liked that.” He gets up on his knees and moves between your legs. He strokes his dick, swollen inside the rubber sheath. “Think you’ll like this a whole lot better.” 

You lift your head dozily and stare at him. He’s big. Long and thick. That dildo was probably smaller than him and you left it in the package. 

He moves closer and you let out a surprised chitter. He caresses your thigh and hushes you as he grips your hip. He pumps himself with his other hand and angles his tip along your lips. 

“You said you wanted to get it done,” he pushes his blunt tip along your entrance. “Don’t hold your breath, baby.” 

He pushes into you and you cry put. Oh. That’s not good. The blinding pain ripples through you. This is different too. Not like his fingers. He’s... 

“Too big,” you rasp. “Please-- ah, ah, ah.” 

“Come on, baby, you can take it,” he growls as he inches into you. “Once it’s in, it’ll feel better.” He impales you down to his base and snarls as he leans his head back. He rolls his shoulders and shudders. “Fuck, it’s been a while since I had a virgin cunt.” 

Flames of humiliation lick at you. This man who fucks for a living is taking your virginity like it’s a prize. Another deposit in the bank. Why did you do this? 

“Hugh,” you eke out his name and reach down, pressing your fingertips to his stomach. “I don’t want--” 

He thrusts and you shriek. Your lips form and O as your head falls back down. You whimper as your body shakes uncontrollably. Your fingers furl into fists and your toes curl. 

“Baby, you said you wanted this. You paid for it,” he grabs your wrists and moves your hands above your head, locking them there as he holds himself above you. “Ah, fuck.” He rams into you again and your tears spill over. “Ah, ah, ah,” he continues to thrust, “you are fucking tight. Ah.” 

He closes his eyes as his nostrils flair and he groans, “the way you’re squeezing me--” 

“Please,” you snivel and he snaps his pelvis into yours. You push your legs wider, trying to ease the pressure. “Ow. You’re hurt—ing me.” 

“Argh, yes, oh,” he ruts into you harder and harder. 

The springs of the bed bounce you against him as his pace turns furious. He puffs like an animal as his eyes blare down at you. You writhe and sob, your face wet with horror and humiliation. Your flesh claps together slickly as he raises himself only to drop down with all his weight. Again and again and again. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Baby, you hear that. Your first time and you got about to blow,” he sneers. “Tell me you want me to cum.” 

You gurgle helplessly and he slams into you, “tell me.” 

“Please--” You squeal. “Please just cum. Just...” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he grunts as he batters you. 

“Please cum--” 

He bucks wildly and lets out a bellowing roar. He pushes his head up and drones through his climax as he fucks you into the bed. You close your eyes and turn your head away. He slows as your heart pounds in your temples and your skin scalds. What did you do? 

He lets go of your wrists and pulls out of you all at once. He leaves you splayed on the bed. His footfalls slap away to the bathroom and the faucet runs. You don’t dare move, hoping that if you don’t, this will all just turn out to be a nightmare. 

🛏️

You touch your wrist and rip your hand away as if you’ve been burned. The bruises are tender. All of you is, but especially... that part of you. 

You have a pillow under you as you sit on your couch. You can barely put your weight on your pelvis. Each time a pang strikes, you remember that horrible mistake. Now you can really say that it isn’t all it’s made out to be. It’s not worth it. 

You lean on the armrest and stare at the television. You don’t see the faces or hear the words. Like the rest of the world, it’s now a fog. Like that night. The box for the pills said not to mix with alcohol. 

You lean your head in your hand. You don’t want to think about it. That’s worse than what happened. The memory. That never ends. 

Your phone buzzes. You ignore it. Vivica called several times. Jerrod once, and all Mila sent was some Tiktok you don’t care about. 

The table continues to vibrate. It agitates you. You get up and stumble. You cup between your legs. You wear only a sleep shirt. You don’t want anything to chafe. You grab your phone and check the ID. Who the heck? 

You answer, “hello?” 

“Hi, is this...” the timbre asks. Do you know them. 

“Uh, yeah, is this the pharmacy?” 

There’s a silence, “uh, no, it’s Curtis.” 

“Curtis,” you repeat. 

“From the bar?” He says uncertainly. 

You already know that. You just don’t believe it. You frown. 

“How did you get my number?” 

“Your friend. Viv. Sorry, I... I guess I shoulda asked you but you left so early.” 

“Why?” You ask then cringe at your own stupidity. 

“Why... because... I want to ask you out. I’m not good at beating around the bush, you know, but you don’t really give a guy a chance.” 

“Asking me out?” 

“Trying.” 

You’re quiet again. It’s like sledge hammer shattering your reality. A couple days ago, you’d be giddy. Not it’s ironic. After what you did. Another laugh in the face. 

“So, did I... just embarrass myself here or...” he huffs. You feel bad. 

You never gave him a chance. You never gave yourself a chance. And now you spoiled it all. You can’t bring yourself to take out your self-hatred on him again. You can humour him for one date. Then you can say, at least, that you’ve done that too. 

“Um, alright,” you agree, wishing it was happier, wishing that it could be different. You’ll have to figure out how to let him down easy. Although Mila says ghosting is even easier. “Sure.” 

“Sure,” he echoes you. “Don’t sound so excited.” 

“Ha, sorry,” you turn and rub your neck. “Yes. Let me know what works for you.” 

“I can do that,” he sounds relieved. “I’ll text you in a minute.” 

“Alright,” you hold back a scoff. “Thanks for calling, Curtis.” 

“No, thank you.” 

He hangs up and you turn the phone to silent. Your eyes sting as you lay it face down on the table and walk away. Things could have been so much different if you weren’t so damn stupid. He’ll figure that out and maybe you won’t have to be the one to break it off. 

[glassbxttless]

Garden Life

ralph (timewasters) x fem!reader

word count: 2.4k+

summary: A garden party you don’t want to attend suddenly becomes a lot more bearable when a pair of pretty brown eyes sets his sights on you.

warnings: None, really. It’s just a lil meet cute? Some things may not be accurate. I tried my best with google lmao

notes: I have watched way too many London dialect videos and read way too many 1920’s UK speech articles for this. Hope it reflects well 😂 this video really helped (along with some other references but yall can find those on your own lmao). Big thanks to @prettycalla for reading this over. And as always, the biggest thanks to my love, @peachyproserpina for editing!

You’re not even sure how you were even invited.

Something about a friend of a friend, or a distant aunt who once tutored the niece of an earl— one of those vague connections that seem to pop up when you’re least in the mood for small talk and tiny sandwiches. Being dragged along to listen to London’s most uptight mothers hope their daughters will find their next beau’s at these affairs.

The giggles hidden behind hands and sheltered by disapproving looks from those mothers, was enough to send even the bravest of Britain’s soldiers running. And yet here you are— weathering the storm through it all— clinging to the edges of the party like their ire won't reach you there. You’ve squeezed into a borrowed dress and hat. You’re nursing a small glass of lemonade, desperately trying not to look as out of place as you feel. The garden party is in full swing with lace-draped tables, string quartet playing, women fluttering like butterflies beneath parasols, and men laughing way too loudly over cigars and brandy. You wander the edges of it all. An outsider in a sea of people who’ve never had to count their own change.

You duck behind one of the large hedges for a moment of peace. Pretending to admire the roses when your head snaps in the direction of a large crash. One of the tables having been knocked into, teacups clattering into the grass and cracking. There’s some hushed whispers of annoyance and then a voice startles you from your reprieve.

 “Oh— oh! I’m sorry… I’m terribly sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your… your rose business.”

You turn your attention fully and find him there. Tall and gangly in a charming way, coupled by the fact that he’s dressed far too formally for someone who had just tripped over himself five seconds ago. His hair is neatly parted and slicked back into classic waves, but looks like it fights him for dominance on most days, and he’s holding a tiny half-eaten cucumber sandwich like he’s forgotten what it’s for.

He blinks at you with big brown eyes, taking in the sight in front of him, “You’re not… are you a ghost?”

You laugh, startled by the question, but not in the least bit offended. You take him in. He’s dressed in a white collared shirt, that hadn’t been buttoned all the way. His tie had long been discarded and hung untied around his neck. By the looks of him, you weren’t sure if he had a threatening bone in his body. “I beg your pardon?”

“No, I mean— I just…” He sighs and then gestures vaguely to your hat, your dress, your face, all with the same level of reverence as if you were a painting come to life. “You’re very… radiant. You look like someone who belongs in a museum… In the nice way, I mean, not the dusty way.”

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face at the very odd compliment. 

“And you look like someone who’s had a little too much sun.”

He immediately blushes from his chest to the tips of his ears, red creeping up his neck and mixing with his sun burned skin. “Have I? That would certainly explain the prickly feeling. Or is that nerves? No— it’s sunburn. Probably. Or nerves and sunburn.”

 You’re laughing before you can truly stop yourself. He looks at you, delighted by the sound. It might genuinely be one of the best sounds he’s heard in his life. And he feels so lucky to have heard it, like he’s just won a prize he didn’t know he entered. “I’m Ralph… uh, Penbury. Ralph Penbury,” he says quickly, as if remembering to finally introduce himself. “My sister, over there, is Victoria. We’re twins, non-identical.” There’s a smile on his face as he speaks, still taken by the sound of your laugh.

You begin to introduce yourself, but he cuts in before you’re even able to mutter the first syllable, “No, don’t tell me! Let me guess. It must be something elegant, yes? You look like an Eleanor, or maybe a Vivien, or… Mildred?”

You wrinkle your nose and laugh softly. “Mildred?”

He winces at the guess that is undeniably wrong. “Alright. You don’t look like a Mildred. You look like… I’m not sure… the kind of person who reads poetry in the bath.”

“Do you often guess strangers’ bath habits?” You raise your eyebrows as you smooth out the skirt of your dress. 

“Only when those strangers make me hopelessly enamoured.”

There’s a silence after that— it’s not awkward, not really— but it’s thick with something lovely and unknown. Something you were not expecting to come from a party like this. Every time your eyes flick to him, your heartbeat quickens in the way it does during a favorite song. He’s still holding that tiny little sandwich. And neither of you are noticing the other guests anymore.

 “Well then, Ralph,” you say softly, taking a step closer to him, “what do you do when you’re not wandering about talking to women near rose bushes?”

“Oh, nothing terribly important,” he says with a shrug, waving the hand holding the sandwich dismissively. “I go to parties such as this that I don’t particularly enjoy, eat things I don’t understand, and make a great many mistakes that my sister corrects for me.”

You grin, tilting your head a bit, which makes his cheeks even rosier. “Sounds exhausting.”

“It is. Was. Until just now, it was a bit dreadful, really. But now— well, I’m having rather a marvellous time.” There’s a smile that graces his features. A curl making its way out of the slicked back waves. He offers you the rest of the cucumber sandwich in his grasp. You decline, politely. But you do end up walking together through the rose gardens, the scent of florals wafting through the air. Ralph may have even snagged a rose from a bush, holding it out to you. Your fingers brush and he smiles before continuing on. You pass the fountains, letting yourself get lost in the sound of the water falling just as you had gotten lost in Ralph’s voice. You walk past the hedgerows, longing for the next time you’ll be able to do this with him. The afternoon sun slides slowly down the sky. He talks far too much when he’s nervous, uses his hands to enunciate. You don’t mind in the slightest, not when he’s smiling that large and asking you question after question, like he’s never met anyone quite like you. You ask if he’s always this forward, and now that the sun has set you can see the way his blush darkens the apples of his cheeks at the question. The color so reminiscent of the rose he had plucked for you earlier, it very well may be the highlight of your year.

 At some point, he looks down at his shoes, clasping his hands together behind his back, and says, very quietly, “I don’t think I’ve ever fancied anyone this fast. Is that mad?” You aren’t sure if you believe it, but the very words feel as if they wrap around your spine tenderly and then squeeze so tightly as they settle in your bones, you can feel them jolt down to your toes. It may be one of the best things you’ve felt in a very long time. 

“Yes,” you say softly, your fingers brushing against his sleeve. You can’t meet his eyes, opting to keep your line of sight on the path at your feet, “but I think I’m mad too.” And just like that, the party around you fades to just background noise. The clinking glasses, the string quartet, the drifting smell of freshly cut grass— all of it vanishes beneath the soft weight of this ridiculous, lightning bolt feeling blooming between you and creeping down each of your spines until it can settle deep in your bones. You don’t even realize the party’s moved indoors until Ralph glances at the sky and mutters, 

“Well, that’s terribly inconsiderate of the sun,” as if it’s wronged him by setting just as it does every evening.

The house itself is grand, in fact you’re not sure if you’ve ever seen something so passionately decorated— nor have you seen a chandelier in the foyer. Each of the floors polished so bright you can see your reflection. Each of the rooms are filled to the brim with echoing laughter. The drawing room had been cleared to make space for dancing, and couples twirl like clockwork toys to the tune of that string quartet now tucked into the corner. You brush a rose petal from your skirt and Ralph suddenly straightens beside you. “Oh,” he says softly, barely over a whisper as he watches a couple twirling in favor of the tune. “Would you— do you dance?”

You raise an eyebrow. “I’ve been known to.”

“Brilliant. Marvellous. That’s… good. Because I, well, I don’t. Not really. But I’d like to. I mean, I’d like to dance with you, not just in general. I don’t want to go around dancing with everyone. Unless I’m meant to. Is that the rule? Are you— oh God, are you meant to dance with everyone at these things?”

You place your hand on his arm before he spirals any further. “I think just me will do.”

He blinks at you. Then beams when he feels your hand settling down against him. He leads you onto the makeshift dance floor with all the confidence of a man about to walk off a cliff. His hand is warm in yours, a little clammy, and he holds you as if you might vanish into smoke if he gets it wrong. He pulls you close, one hand delicately placed against your back. You’re so close now, close enough to see the spattering of freckles dusted across his sunburnt cheeks and nose. Your chin tilts up just slightly, nose brushing the skin of his jaw. He’s still warm from the sun, and he smells vaguely of the roses you’d spent so much time with this evening, mixed with something uniquely Ralph. His steps are a touch out of rhythm, but none of it matters. Not really. Not when you’re this close and enjoying each moment you spend together. You’re laughing, it’s possibly the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. And he’s staring at you like the strings are playing just for the two of you. The world feels like it slows down in a way it never does for you. Your fingers settle at his shoulder. His gaze flickers from your eyes to your mouth and back again. There’s a flush on his cheeks that deepens every time you lean in. 

“I’m having a terrible time,” he finally speaks up and it catches you off guard.

Your heart clenches in your chest. “What?”

“A terrible time. I’m going to have to go home and lie down in a dark room and think about everything I said to you tonight. For weeks. Possibly years.”

You grin, the feeling of quiet adoration growing deep in your belly before you brush your fingers across his shoulder, fixing his collar flat gently. “Then you’d better say something worth remembering, Ralph Penbury.”

He looks down at you, his smile was replaced with something just a bit more serious now. His eyes are shining like glass in candlelight. You’ve never found it easier to get lost in someone’s eyes, than you have found getting lost in Ralph’s. They’re the deepest brown you may have ever seen, hints of gold if you were really looking. With each look, you find it harder and harder to remember your own name. 

 “You just might be the most lovely thing that’s ever happened to me… And I’ve been to Paris. Twice.” He says softly, the hand at your back gently nudging you closer to him, but not close enough to cause scandal. 

Your breath catches as he says the words, like they’re the most causal things to pass his lips. But the music keeps playing and you keep dancing, close enough to feel each other’s breaths. When the song ends, he doesn’t let go of your hand right away nor does his hand leave your back. Instead, he clears his throat awkwardly and smiles, “Would it be… unspeakably forward to ask if you’d accompany me on a walk tomorrow?”

“A walk?” you echo, dipping your chin to look up at him through your lashes, hiding a giddy smile.

“In the park. With ducks. And, uhm… ice cream, if that’s not too scandalous.”

You nod, unable to help the warmth blooming behind your ribs. “It sounds wildly improper, Ralph.”

“Wonderful,” he says. “You can pretend not to know me when I say something embarrassing.”

“Just like today?” You tease gently, although there’s no bite behind it. No real intention. 

He grins back at you, shaking his head just slightly. Those slick waves unmoved. “Exactly. Just like today.” 

He walks you to your carriage, still holding onto your hand. He’s talking about nothing and everything at the same time, like he’s never been able to talk so freely. And you’re listening to every word. Hanging off of them like those words hold the key to your happiness. The sky is a dark indigo now, and the stars have come out peppering the sky overhead like they’re watching you and Ralph too. Before you leave, he hesitates— then quickly pulls a small notebook from his coat pocket and scribbles something down. “Here,” his voice is more of a whisper than anything, and he tears off the page. “Instructions for tomorrow. Meeting point. Precise time. Also a list of duck names in case we see any worth adopting.”

You take it with a laugh. “You’re very thorough, Mr. Penbury.”

“It’s just Ralph.” He grins although his cheeks turn a deep shade of crimson. He tugs at the cuff of his coat. “I’ve never had anything I wanted to get right this badly.” Your hand is still pressed warmly against his palm as you move towards the carriage, you gather your dress as he helps you step up to settle into your seat. He gives you a smile, his hand lingering atop yours for one more moment, before he’s taking a step back, raising his own in a slight wave goodnight. 

You don’t stop smiling the entire ride home. You’re sure your cheeks will be hurting when you crawl into bed. 

And the next afternoon, at precisely two o’clock, you find Ralph sitting on a bench in Hyde Park, a paper bag of bread crumbs sitting beside him, and that ridiculous grin you were really beginning to love blooming on his face the second he sees you.

tags ;;

[littlewigglers]

Creeping out for cucumber 🥒