#billie eilish blurb

[xoluvx]

Hi pretty angel!

Can I request soft Billie smut for the first day of autumn? Billie and reader have a cute autumn day together that just somehow leads to soft smut and fluffy wonderfulness? 🎃 🍁 ✨

Btw your writing? Absolutely live for it!

this is perfect omg i love this.. i absolutely love fall. don't tell anyone but i have some autumn things planned for october 🎃✨and thank you ily! hope you enjoy baby.

her fingertips traced your curves, lips molding together perfectly. noses clashing on occasion as your whimpers filled her ears. she held your thigh as she moved her hips. your bodies causing a pleasurable friction that shot tingles down your legs.

"yes, please-" you breathed wrapping your arms around her shoulders pressing your bodies closer. your thigh coming up to wrap around her waist as she increased the pace of her movements. her thigh was rubbing on your clit so gloriously. the soft blanket fell around your bodies as you bit down on her skin, whimpering and tugging at the fabric trying to prolong the arrival of your impending orgasm.

the hot chocolate had ran cold. mugs discarded on the coffee table. the events of the day were seared in your mind. holding hands. walking through the maze. picking out your pumpkins. stolen kisses between haystacks.

her hand softly caressed your jaw. watching your brows furrow in pleasure as she moved her body. your lips parted her thumb brushed along your bottom lip.

"kiss me," you whispered and she obliged bringing her face down. your noses touched as her lips wrapped around yours in a tender kiss. full of love and warmth.

[naturesapphic]

hi can I request something with Billie with a reader who is like maybe 2 or 3 years older than her and Billie gets teased about it by her friends all the time and they like call her the baby of the relationship and stuff and maybe reader is in on the joke too so Billie snaps and shows reader who’s in charge??

I absolutely love your stories btw plss never stop writing for Billie 🤞🏻

Older

Billie eilish x fem!reader

Warning: playful teasing, mad!billie, smut

Word count: 1,019

“Get the fuck Inside and go up to the bedroom.” Billie snaps at you and you quickly nod as you run up the stairs, your face bright red from embarrassment. You and Billie were at a party with a mix of y’all’s friends together and things took a turn when you decided to do something stupid.

~ flashback ~

Billie and you were at a friends party just chilling with y’all’s friends when they started playfully teasing Billie on y’all’s small age gap. You were three years older than Billie and it never really bothered yall, especially not Billie. Y’all’s friends loved to tease the two of you but it was always light hearted and fun. On this particular night though, she was getting a bit upset at how far they were taking it, clearly drunk off their calls and not realizing what they were doing.

“Billie is clearly the baby in this relationship.” Quen said and you giggled. “Oh yeah she is.” You said smirking but laughing afterwards to show everyone that you were clearly playing around but billie didn’t see it like that of course and she was fuming inside. They kept going on and you would butt in and basically keep calling her the baby and one time someone called her a bottom and you didn’t object.

That’s when she grabbed your arm and pulled you away from everyone, anger flared in her eyes. Before she took you off she said goodbye to everyone and said that they were leaving early since you didn’t feel good. They all wished you well and said bye while Billie dragged you outside by your arm. You knew you were about to get fucked and that’s not taking it lightly.

~ flashback over ~

After going up the stairs you went into the bedroom and started stripping immediately. You got your clothes off and sat on the edge of the bed waiting for her. Billie came through the door a few minutes later and shot you a glare that made you feel small. “So you think you could just embarrass me in front of our friends?” She spat out as she walked over to you and grabbed your face in her hands, making you look up at you. “I-im sorry b-bils. I-it was a-all jokes p-promise!” You pleaded and she made your stop talking by squeezing your face together so your lips are puckered.

“I don’t want to hear any excuses right now. I think you need a reminder of who’s in charge hm?” Billie said lowly as she removes her hand from your face and backs up a little as she starts to unbuckle her belt. Watching her pull down her pants and take off her shirt always got you so hot and bothered. The way her arm flexes and the veins in her hands show, it gets you going. She grabs her belt and grabs your hands, tying them together. “Turn over and lay on your stomach.” She demanded and you quickly obeyed her. Laying on your stomach, your bare ass on display, billie ran her hands up and down the back of your thighs, causing your whole body to have chills.

She smirks and glides her hands up to your plump flesh and starts massaging it. You bit your lip and looked over her shoulder to see her and she slaps your ass harshly, making you yelp out. “Turn your head back.” She said lowly and you quickly buried your face in the mattress. Billie massaged them a bit more until she lands a forceful slap that left a red mark on your ass. “I want you to start counting.” She demanded and each slap you counted. In total there was about fifteen, which was letting you off easily. You whimpered out as she started kneading your red flesh making her smile. “You put this on yourself doll. Shouldn’t have made me look stupid.” She said with a fake softness in her voice.

Her hands went down your ass and spread your legs open, revealing to her your dripping cunt. She smirked to yourself and started rubbing your clit making your body jolt. Billie entered her index finger in your pussy and started pumping in and out fast causing you to let out a whimper. She then added two more fingers which made you gasp loudly. “F-fuck billie!” You yell out as she pumps her three fingers into your pussy at a fast pace. “Who’s in charge baby?” She asked you with gritted teeth as she used her other hand to pull on your hair, making your head lift a little so you could properly speak.

“Y-you b-Billie you are!” You exclaim as she keeps fucking you. “Good girl.” She says letting go of your hair and your head falls back onto the mattress as she fucks you into oblivion with her fingers. Soon enough she felt your walls squeezing her fingers and the way you were moaning into the mattress that you would be cumming soon and she was right. You came all over her hand and fingers, your cum leaking out of your pussy as she slowly pulls out. She pulls her fingers to her lips and sucks them dry. Billie then leans down and spreads your ass, slurping your juices from behind. You let out a strangled gasp and you feel her tongue lap at your pussy. She cleaned you up and pulled her face away, licking her lips. She flipped you back over on your back and smiled down at you. “Know who’s in charge now?” She said teasingly and you nodded your head fast. You definitely learned your lesson.

A/n: thank you so much anon for your kind words and the request! I hope you enjoyed it and that everyone else did too. Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Take care of yourselves! I love y’all :)

[chrissv4mp]

BabyyI really need angry sex with bullie and you are the right person to write it my god, i miss her soo much

౨ MAD AT ME ৎ

@livialifesblog @her-favorite @mseilishmwah @mxqdii @sophloveswomen @muchloveforhacker @br4ttyeilish @wiidfi0wer33 @xoluvx @slutforsturnioloss @devynscomet @loving1dsworld

NAVIGATION

billie's hand gripped your hair harshly as she fucked into you from behind, chest heaving and hair sticking to her forehead and some sides of her neck. rough grunts fall into your ear as she thrusts into you hard and fast, her pace relentless just as her grip on your hair was.

you don't even remember how you got in this position; her body towering over yours as she she whispered the most dirty, degrading words into your ear as she fucked you from behind like some slut. all you can remember was the first interaction you had when she got home from work.

she had accused you of something that she knew was bullshit. it was just some stupid rumor online about you and your co-star having an affair. fans had speculated something going on between the two of you since the close relationship you both had on set. you and her had hung out a few times, but that was it, and now you were here.

"you want her like this, huh? you want her fucking you from behind, don't ya?" she breathes out, untangling her hand from your hair to land a harsh slap on your ass. all that you can respond with are whines and cries, your hands gripping the sheets harshly as you shake your head.

tears threaten to roll down your cheeks as she grasps your hips with both hands, pulling you back against the fake dick. the new angle almost makes your arms give out, a loud, desperate moan reverberating in the room as she hits your g-spot repeatedly. the wet, sloshing sound of your pussy made her head spin, tugging her lower lip between her teeth in a means to silence her own noises.

frustration and lust boiled beneath her skin as she continues to thrust her hips forward, ignoring the obvious warnings that you gave whenever you were about to cum. she wasn't gonna stop when you did, she wasn't gonna stop until you were utterly spent or until she thought you learned your lesson, "cum, cum on my dick, babygirl. bet this wasn't the first time you've cum today, is it?"

incoherent babbles fell from your red and swollen lips, tears rolling down your cheeks as you unraveled all over the silicone cock. her palm came down on your ass again, this time in a harsher motion, causing a loud cry of her name to escape your throat.

the way you tried to squirm away only made her more passionate about her goal, her nails digging into your hips as she held you tighter. her body towered over yours once again, lips only an inch away from your ear as she spoke, "no, no, you don't get to move away. if you wanna act like a dirty slut, you're gonna get treated like one." she muttered, nibbling at your earlobe softly.

"who do you belong to, mamas?" she spat, her voice raspy and hoarse. you couldn't respond, she knew that, and that's exactly why she asked right in that moment. she wanted to tease you, break you past point of no return until all you knew was her name and her dick, "fuckin' say it. don't make me ask again," her hand came down on your ass again, her handprint almost clearly displayed from the impact.

"you—fuck!—'m'belong to you, mommy..!" your voice was a quiet, strained whine, but billie heard. she heard it loud and clear and that only fueled the fire in her chest. her thrusts never slowed, though, her hips snapping against yours seemingly rougher than before.

a low chuckle fell from between her perfect, plump lips before she spoke. her hand snuck up your body, tracing the curve in your back before running along your back muscles, finally finding home wrapped around you neck, "ts' all i needed to hear, princess."

"but that doesn't mean we're done, yet."

[yearningandstillnotlearning]

so like ive never written smut and my writing is way different than any ive seen so i did some practice. and i expect feedback. 🧍‍♀️plus this isn’t about sm1 specific imagine it as you like

warnings(?): some pwp for the fuck of it, suggestive, sadomasochism, knife kink :3c, just a little sumsum

✦•······················•✦•···········································•✦•······················•✦

cold. so cold.

shivers down your spine making you feel like a scared cat, if you could focus on that look on her face you’d think you also look like one.

a half smile, bent brows, so many emotions flowing in and out the current of your faces right in front of each other.

eyes don’t meet, lips don’t speak, breathing unmatched and trembling feet.

sound of clothes ripping interrupt the heavy breathing and unstoppable thinking

“you’re doing so good,” all in one sigh

no matter how wide your eyes are, you cannot see anything anywhere, yet she can see everything, even if you’re not speaking, she can hear every thought and choked word.

eyes on the hand

that hand that holds the knife

face flushed, legs weak, but you’re already laying down, how much lower can you go?

your hands gripping on your skirt are more prone to bleeding than your knife-teased neck

“do you not have trust in me?”

those eyes, so soft-bent, so shiny. you know they’re not sincere, their shine matches the knives and they look like they can break you.

[cierraonline]

WHATEVER TF THIS IS PODCAST

| BILLIE EILISH | MASTERLIST

| ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴏᴋ ɪ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ & ᴇᴅɪᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜɪɢʜ |

BILLIE EILISH FANFICTION LESBIAN ROMANCE GXG podcast x real life

"Welcome to the Whatever The Fuck This Is Podcast where we have no idea what the fuck we are doing….but it's entertaining so keep watching "

SEASON 1

S1EP1: BILLIE IS DUMB! WORKING LIKE A SLAVE AND NOT PAID! AND GOOSEBUMPS

S1EP2: MIGRANT PARENTS! GREG HEFFLEY'S OLDER BROTHER! AND TWINK VIBES

S1EP3: OUR DUMBASS EX! CLAUDIA WAS IN T@AGGED! BILLIE'S USELESS STORY! PART ONE

S1EP4: OUR DUMBASS EX! CLAUDIA WAS IN T@GGED! BILLIE'S USELESS STORY! PART TWO

S1EP5: OWNING MANHATTAN! SILLIE TIMELINE! SIREN REVEALS HER EYES!

S1EP6:  BLACK COSPLAYING! LADY IN THE GREEN DRESS! BILLIE JEALOUS OF ZOE!

S1EP7: SEASON FINALE! BILLIE’S SECRET IS REVEALED! THE ITALIAN MAFIA! PART ONE

S1EP8: SEASON FINALE! BILLIE'S SECRET IS REVEALED! THE ITALIAN MAFIA! PART TWO

EXTRAS

HOT ONES: SIREN VS BILLIE

"Welcome back Whatever The Fuck This Is Podcast where we still have no idea what the fuck we are doing….and now we have to raise a baby...Keeping watching"

SEASON 2

S2EP1: SEX TALK!IS ZOE A VIRGIN?!CLAUDIA AND FINNEAS SWINGERS RUMOR CONFIRMED?!

EXTRAS

VILLAGE THERAPY PART ONE

[goldsainz]

WHAT WAS I MADE FOR? — one shot.

pairing: max verstappen x reader

MASTERLIST.

PART 2.

NOTE: currently i’m obsessed with singer!reader… this could potentially have a pt2 if you guys want it (if you have any ideas for it feel free to tell me) also i wanna tell you guys i have taglist! i always forget to mention it😭

liked by mileycyrus, lilymhe and 5,062,193 others

yourusername “What Was I Made For?” is out RIGHT NOW!! so incredibly grateful for greta for reaching out to me, for making me a part of Barbie (my childhood).

view all 75,932 comments

ynfan1 WE WON!!!

ynfan2 oh i’m so gonna cry

charli_xcx beauuutifuul

liked by yourusername and 61,738 others

maxfan1 max not liking🤨🤨

⤷ ynfan3 he usually likes her posts within a sec…

maxfan2 max where are youuuu

lewishamilton Amazing stuff!

⤷ yourusername thank you, lewis!!

⤷ ynfan4 HELLO???

maxfan3 hoping max is asleep and that’s why he didn’t like this

ynfan5 y’all maybe he didn’t like the post bc he didn’t see it…

⤷ maxfan4 that man has his notifs on for her and never likes anything that isn’t y/n related

liked by pierregasly, gracieabrams and 3,816,409 others

yourusername missing blonde me

view all 57,246 comments

ynfan21 you missing single you?????

⤷ maxfan21 maxy/n nation we are shaking

ynfan22 mother is mothering

beabadoobee MY BABYYYY

liked by yourusername and 105,927 others

ynfan23 nope no nope we’re not doing this rn

maxfan22 UNTIL THEY CONFIRM IT I AM IN DENIAL

⤷ ynfan24 even if they confirm it i’ll still be in denial

⤷ maxfan21 real‼️

ynfan25 blonde y/n does things to me

maxfan23 she’s not serious😭😭 blonde her was single

dualipa a barbie slay

⤷ yourusername 💕💕

maxverstappen1 and yourusername has posted an insta story!

liked by arianagrande, charlotesiine and 4,706,815 others

yourusername 01/08

view all 70,602 comments

ynfan31 WHAT.

ynfan32 i cannot wait till august😩

jennierubyjane SO excited!! 🖤

⤷ yourusername ilysm 🤍

maxfan31 max i’m so sorry but i gotta tune in

ynfan33 NEW MUSIC YESSSS

ynfan33 oh this is gonna eat hard

danielricciardo 🖤

⤷ yourusername 🤍

⤷ ynfan34 HELLO???

maxfan32 i fear for my mental stability, but most importantly, i fear for max’s

[perfctvelvet]

Dominant Billie Eilish? 🙏 pretty please

The Games We Play; Billie Eilish/Fem!Reader

Content: 2nd POV. Established relationship, semi-toxic relationship, brief mentions of gaslight, implied infidelity, D/s elements, name calling ('slut'), degradation, teasing, strap-on sex, mentions of ass play, use of sex toys (vibrator).

"I've had enough of the games now, Y/n. You're starting to annoy me."

It was ironic to watch Billie sit at the table and sulk to herself as if she didn't get herself into this situation. These games that she claims to hate oh so much where the ones that she started and wanted to finish once she wasn't getting her way. You have just been with her for way too long not to be able to see her through and through. Billie hated the bitter taste of her own medicine, but she should've thought about that before she brushed you off when you asked about who that was on that instagram post.

You made her watch you flirt with a past fling all night. You could barely remember the lady's name when you two first bumped into her, but quickly she became valuable to you. All you had asked for was honesty about a post that was posted to tens of millions of people, but instead you were shut out. Billie brought this on herself, and it felt good to see her sitting there feeling sorry for you.

"Ooh, tell me more about your trip to Greece! I've been waiting to go, but sometimes it's hard when others won't cooperate with their schedules."

Billie was within earshot of the entire conversation and you didn't spare her one bit. You left her emotionally beaten and bruised every time you laid a hand on the body of someone you came close to being with years ago. Your attraction had faded greatly as you only had eyes for your girlfriend now, but Billie doesn't know that and at this moment anyone would think that the relationship was on its last legs. But just like you know Billie, she knows you too well for her own good. You were trying to make her feel the same way you did over an instagram post. Well, you had one the battle as your attempts to make Billie jealous was working, but Billie was well intentioned on winning the war.

Now as she confronts you about the only thing you can do is play dumb. You weren't going to give her the upper hand by outright admitting what you were doing. The way she dismissed you about posting photos of another girl damn near straddling her kept you up for days. Those 3 to 4 hours of sleep left you irritable and willing to do anything to get your point across. So in your eyes, you're not doing anything worse your girlfriend hasn't done.

"What are you talking about?" You asked her, cocking your head to the side and feigning innocence. 

Normally your pout was endearing but right now Billie wanted to fuck it off your face. Still surrounded by strangers who could possibly hear your conversation, Billie gives a deep sigh and she hangs her head down. It was a sign of utter defeat to you.

"Y/n," she sighs before leaning in and whispering, "You really want to do this right now?"

Those simple words were a warning shot. Billie didn't have to say much else. She didn't have to explain that she knows you after being together for two years. She didn't have to explain that they've done this song and dance before and that it's getting stale. Both are committed and faithful to this relationship, but sometimes things get hazy and the relationship is tested. Billie knows she's in the wrong, but getting those words to come out of her mouth is like pulling teeth. You two should be passed this stage, especially as you get older together, but clearly both of you are wrong. When one of you acts up, the other feels like they have no choice but to retaliate and somehow you're always the one always having to retaliate.

You don't want to hear it from her. You don't want to sit in the car on the way home and hear her give you some holier-than-thou speech as if she's the mature one in the relationship. It was easier to talk to you like that when you were side by side and she didn't have to look you in the eyes and act like she didn't do what she did. Did it feel good to flirt with someone you're no longer interested in? No, that part didn't feel good, but being able to glance over and see Billie sulking while surrounded by happy, partying people, it was better than any high or shot of alcohol here tonight.

"What am I doing? I'm at a party that you're ruining the vibe because you want to sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Get up, go talk to your friends." You didn't have much else to say to her and she kept her mouth shut too. Billie had nothing to say. Have you succeeded?

Billie was never afraid to drag out an argument, even in a setting like this. There was the great texting fiasco of Summer 2023 that ended with you staying at your friend's place for the weekend. So she was uncharacteristically quiet now. And in a surprising move, she just smiled at you. Your faces were so close together you thought she was going to kiss, but instead she leaned back. She grabbed her glass filled with whatever she had and brought it to her lips. Never did she pull her eyes away from you and you felt your grip on the situation loosening. You don't know what it means for you, for tonight and for the future, but you stepped away from her. You turned your back to her and joined a group of mutual friends. The former fling you were flirting with was nowhere to be found, but it didn't matter anymore. 

You felt Billie's eyes burning a hole right through you for the rest of the night. Despite the room being so loud, there was a ringing in your ears that dulled the sound of everything around you. You don't know how you were able to make it through the rest of the night acting like you usual self. The end of the night and car ride home were unbearable and equally silent. Billie's steady breathing was the only sound to fill your ears; so calm yet just as loud as the club's bass in your ears. The little battle you had earlier? It meant nothing now. Whatever victory you felt was replaced by the dread of worrying what was to come next. You expected a screaming match to take place as soon as the two of you crossed past that threshold into Billie's house. Instead Billie decided to do something she hasn't tried before. She was going to fuck the problem away.

Billie was pissed. The way she grabbed you, you don't think you've seen her so mad before. The two of you are no strangers to things getting a little rough, but there was so much more raw and animalistic about the way she touched you, the way she kissed you. Billie was gunning to win the war and she was going to disarm you in the best way she knew how. You don't understand how pissed she was seeing your flirt with an old fling like that, and what annoyed her the most is that you looked to actually be having a good time. She saw how you looked at this woman who has no name to her. You looked at her as if she meant something. Billie thought the photo she uploaded was to be expected from her and her friends. She thought you knew that sometimes one of them gets a little handsy but there was never any ill-intention behind it. Hell, you've seen it happen in front of your very eyes before and you didn't react. To her the difference between the post and what you did was that you intended to make the situation worse. You looked so into this woman, looking at her the same way you've looked at Billie before. Those eyes are only for her.

Billie wasn't nice or sweet tonight. She didn't tease you or suck on your tits for almost an hour like she usually loves to do. You were pushed onto the bed, face down ass up. You weren't able to see anything with your face in the covers. You had to guess what was happening based on the sounds around you. Billie was stealthy and quick, not giving you a second to adjust to what was going on. You felt something cool and wet hitting between your cheeks. You cursed yourself for not wearing underwear tonight, giving Billie easy access to both of your holes to do whatever she wanted with you. You felt something poke at your entrance and soon you were filled with 8 inches of thickness. The air was plucked right out of you as Billie pushed her strap all the way inside. She watched in awe how your arousal bursted through the seams. She pulled out and your juices had already completely covered her strap.

Billie pushes back into you after a few seconds. She started at a slow pace before gradually picking up speed, fucking you harder and faster. The residual anger from your little stunt tonight was fuleing her. When a girl acts up, sometimes she needs to be put in her place.

"You wanna tell me who that was tonight? Who was that girl, Y/n!"

You feel her grab a handful of your hair and she pulls your face out the bed. Her grip was tight enough to feel a prickly sensation on the edge of your scalp. You pulled your head back further to alleviate the pain. The question she asked you had completely slipped your mind as she filled your poor pussy with every inch of her strap. Billie didn't take so kindly to being ignored, so she asked you again. You could barely speak, but you tried your best.

"W-What girl?" You stutter through each thrust.

"Still playing dumb, huh?"

There was a tinge of playfulness in Billie's voice that could've you if you weren't getting fucked so hard. You were still trying to play the game she was built to beat you at. However, that girl doesn't matter to you and certainly she's irrelevant now. Your skin was flushed and sweaty. The sound of Billie's thighs meeting your ass reverberates in the room. How could you be thinking about some other woman when you're getting fucked within an inch of your life.

"If you wanted to be fucked like this baby all you had to do was laugh. You don't have to fight for my attention when you have it 24/7 sweetheart," Billie teased you with such a clear voice that amazed you she was able to concentrate on making you feel so small and fucking you skillfully. "You knew exactly what you were doing tonight, but you won't want to try that again after I'm done fucking this little pussy of yours."

Her words began to sound fuzzy as the tip of her strap kept agitating your sweet spot. You could barely keep yourself up, your arms giving away. The only thing keeping you up right now was Billie's tight grip on your hair. You were about to cum; dangerously close. All the tell-tale signs of your orgasm began firing off and that just happen to be the moment when Billie decided to pull out of you. You could whine and cry all you want, but Billie still pushed you off her strap. Your orgasm, the one you so desperately wanted, shuttered away as you sobbed into the sheets. You were surely a sight to take in. The strap rests against your ass, smearing your juices into your skin.

"Did you really think I was going to let you cum so fast? You really think you deserve that princess?"

Leave it to Billie to not give in so easily -- you should've seen this coming. You push yourself up on your palms until you're pushed back down onto the bed. Billie didn't have to use much force either which made her laugh at you. You were so weak and you hadn't even cum yet. 

"Pick a number, baby."

You thought you were hearing her wrong. Did she just ask you to pick a fucking number?

"Pick a number. 1-3."

It was stupid to indulge in whatever game she was playing, but you lifted your head and opened your mouth to utter, "2." You don't know why you even answered.

"Hmm," Billie hums. It's hard to read such a small reaction.

The sound of the drawer opening happens again. You don't have to see to know she's grabbing from the bottom "special" drawer, where she got the strap-on from. There were a few other toys in there and you suspect that's where the game comes in at.

"It's too bad you didn't pick 1, but I guess you spared your little ass tonight."

You were just spread out so perfectly for the buttplug she hasn't used on you yet. Billie would've been able to see her reflection in the shiny metal as it slipped into your tightest hole. Stretching your ass out while fucking you would've ruined you, you haven't tried that out yet. She imagines that you would've been begging her for forgiveness and permission to cum. Even seeing it in her active imagination makes her heart skip a beat. But, fate has decided for her and she's going to make the most of it.

The wand you unintentionally picked had only been used about two or three times. It's vibrations were so strong, something you felt like you had to get use to. Only on it's lowest setting were you able to handle it. Something powered only by batteries yet it was so powerful you were seeing stars the first time you used it.

"Get up."

Billie gave you the command but then she was moving your body herself. She laid on the bed and signaled for you to get on top of her. You go to straddle her before she stops you.

"Uh-uh. Turn the other way."

She made you turn away from and in the direction of a mirror. For the first time since going out tonight, you got a glimpse of yourself. Your hair looked a mess and your makeup had smudged a lot. Spit was drying in the corner of your mouth. You should've been ashamed about how you look and how Billie was slutting you out, but it made your pussy drip on Billie's skin. One, two, three she felt the drops of your arousal on her bare skin. She groaned, showing a moment of weakness for a second. Right then she knew she had to get you on her strap. She lowered you down with one hand. Somehow her strap felt so much bigger when you were sinking down on it this way. The way the girth stretched out just felt different when you were any other position. Billie doesn't fuck you in reverse cowgirl often so you were willing to underestimate her ability to fuck you as hard as you need like this, but quickly you were proven wrong.

Your skin slapped together harder and your tits bounce with every thrust up into your swollen twat. You thought it was a lot to handle until you felt the vibrations from the wand against your pussy. The slew of moans that fell from your lips were louder than before.

"Good girl! Keep moaning for me baby, show me just how much you love being fucked like this. Only I can fuck you like this."

Words like this were meant to only affect you, to drive home the point that you were a slut for Billie and Billie only, but somehow she fueled her own desire. She was fucking up into you with reckless abandon. You were so close to losing your mind from being fucked like that from below while the vibrator was placed firmly against your swollen clit. You had no choice but to endure it as your eyes rolled in the back of your head. 

"Whose pussy's this? Who does this pussy belong to, girl," the way she addressed you and the stinging grip on your hip made you spiral. Billie has flirted with degrading you more and more in bed, but tonight she spoke as if this came natural to her. She questioned as if something would happen if you didn't answer her. The worst thing she, or anyone else, could do to you at this moment is deny you of another sweet release. It's a miracle you're not squirting all over her strap that bullying its way into you. The head of her strap hits your cervix so deliciously. She questions you as if you're capable of speaking right now when the vibrator is sending you into orbit. You've officially been rendered stupid and unable to form words.

It takes a solid minute and everything inside of you to be able to muster up the energy to be able to answer you.

"Yours! Oh god it's yours!" You force out with a desperate cry. Your body is beginning to hunch over in weakness as she continues to pound you. You've never felt so pathetic in your life, unable to stand your ground, but never did failure feel so good. The stretch and the buzz was addicting and you were ready to let go of everything that's been pent up inside of your body.

The way you answer satisfies Billie, finally. The sobs of your pure devotion made relief wash over her. She's happy.

She doesn't stop her pounding until you're cumming and crying out loudly for her. Your toes curl as you come the hardest you have in a long, long time. Billie's grip on you was still harsh, painful even, causing the pain to mix with your everlasting pleasure. This is what might be the longest orgasm of your life and it comes after another stalemate in your relationship.

It was almost impossible to be able to come back to reality. You didn't even notice the vibrator had been turned off and discarded onto the bed until Billie stopped pumping into you completely. Satisfaction stirred deep in your hips as you sat there with her strap situated inside of you. Billie was holding you up with both hands now as if you would fall apart into a million pieces if she let go. And let go she never did.

Your heavy limbs find relief when you're laid against the bed. It feels like you're floating on a cloud compared to how it felt before. You were in a state of disbelief, asking yourself, 'did that shit really happen?' 

You weren't going to regain your composure after that, and you weren't going to even try. Billie is already up and moving around, disappearing for a few minutes before she comes back with a wet towel waiting to clean you up. She pushes your legs apart and gently rubs the warm towel against your sensitive skin.

"I think you left a present over there."

She nods her head in the direction of the wet spot on the bed. Did you squirt? You don't even have a fucking clue if you did or not but you hide your face in your hands anyway.

"Oh god," you groan.

"We can always sleep in the other room."

"I don't think I can move, Bil."

You had a million and one questions, but you were utterly worn out and Billie's face was flushed pink from all the work she put in. You two have more to answer for in the morning, and a need to explain why you both acted up so much. Seeing you so vulnerable made the words 'I'm sorry, I was wrong' want to bubble up in Billie's throat. Instead she kisses the two sweet thighs she loves so much. The nonverbal apology will always come before remorseful words out of Billie's lips. Holding you until you fall asleep will stand in just for the night.

[westcoastcollectives]

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢs - billie eilish x fem!reader

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs - angst w happy ending, allusion to homophobia

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ - in which y/n is afraid to come out to the public about their relationship or in which billie & y/n love each other despite other’s opinions

ᴀ/ɴ - soooo, i used to post on this account (username bilsluvr) but i deleted everything and revamped the account 😭. this is an old fanfic that i wrote in 2022 , but in honor of the new album i’ve decided to repost it :) i hope you guys like it <3 (also this is based on billie’s song “come out and play” so i recommend to listen to it while you read.)

“wake up and smell the coffee”

“good morning bil” y/n spoke softly as she held her half full cup of coffee and smiled at the black haired girl in front of her. “hey baby” billie leaned over to peck the girls lips.

“but i love it when you’re awfully quiet”

“sleepy?” billie said as she placed her hand on y/n’s cheek. “yeah..” y/n leaned on billie’s hand. “i love you, you know that right?” billie said tenderly. “yeah, i do.” y/n whispered, turning her head slightly to peck billie’s palm, looking at the deep blue eyes lovingly.

“you see a piece of paper, could be a little greater”

“whatcha doin’?” billie asked as she took a sip of her hot tea. the warm ambience of the busy café making them feel like they were the only ones there.

“drawing” y/n giggled. billie looked at the napkin, feeling content with the day. “drawin’ what?” billie asked, smiling at the girl.

“mmm, i don’t really know,” y/n looked at the napkin. “what i feel i guess,” she finished. the napkin held a sketch of a snowy night city with a ferris wheel. “are you cold..?” billie questioned. “no billie!” y/n laughed.

their moment was interrupted when a teenage girl walked up to the smiling couple. “oh my gosh! hi! can i get a photo?” she asked excitedly.

“yes, of course” billie held a tight smile, feeling more tense. as soon as y/n noticed, she placed her hand on top of billie’s resting one. almost instantly, billie felt more relaxed just by the touch of her significant other.

“and you don’t have to keep it quiet”

the fan noticed and quickly asked, “are you guys like together or something?”.

billie’s eyes widened and y/n snatched her hand back. billie opened her mouth to answer, but y/n was too fast. “what? of course not,” she said hostilely. “we’re just friends.”

billie looked at her rather confused, but quickly switched to a sad, tight lipped smile. “yeah” she murmured.

billie was so confused. even though they weren’t out, why would she answer that way? so, abruptly.

“let’s take that photo, yeah?” billie said.

“yes!” the fan said, oblivious to the fact that she had just created a dent within the couple.

“and i know it makes you nervous”

they have been driving for a while now. LA traffic not being so light.

“why’d you answer that way” billie finally broke the silence that had been clouding the car.

“what?” y/n said surprised. “you heard me.” billie said, feeling just a tinge of anger, but not much due to the amount of love that she is filled with for the girl.

“you can’t blame me billie. we’re not going to come out to a random fan on a sunday afternoon.” she said a matter of factly.

“i understand, but i didn’t expect you to answer so fast, almost instinctively.” billie stated. feeling insecure about their relationship.

y/n sighed, looking down at her feet, fidgeting with her rings. “no billie, i’m just…” she hesitated. “nervous.”

“but i promise you, it’s worth it.” billie said as they were pulling into the drive way of their shared home.

y/n turned to billie to find her already looking at her. “can you wait for me bil?” she asked nervously.

billie held her two hands and placed them on her lap. “always.” billie said while looking at her eyes.

“look up, out of your window. see snow, won’t let it in though”

“oh my gosh..” y/n said, feeling surprised.

“what?” billie questioned as y/n urgently ran out of the room.

“it’s snowing!!” y/n came back with a big jacket that engulfed her and a beanie that was almost falling off her head.

“oh,” billie chuckled, walking up to her, fixing the beanie on her head. “you scared me, baby.” she said with a small smile. “sorry” y/n said with a wide, genuine smile.

“get out there,” billie suggested, nodding her head towards the door. “you don’t wanna come with?” y/n asked, slightly furrowing her eyebrows.

“nah, i’m already cold. go have fun.” billie smiled. “i’ll watch from in here.” she finished. “okay,” y/n said. “i love you.” she spoke before leaning in to peck billie’s lips softly.

“cause it's colder here inside in silence”

y/n opened the door excitedly, letting the cold wind blow throughout the home, making billie shiver. “sorry,” y/n chuckled. “s’okay, be safe!” billie shouted.

billie watched as the girl rushed to get to the front of the house to play with the snow. as billie watched through the front window, she noticed how truly quiet and cold it is with out the girls warm loud presence.

while watching y/n laugh at how small the snow flakes were, billie realized how grateful she is for y/n. just merely young, dumb, in love teenagers who didn’t care what people thought about them.

what changed? society’s pressure did. and billie hated that it had affect their relationship.

“and you don’t have to keep it quiet”

“what’s got you so quiet y/n/n?” billie asked, leaning over the counter, careful not to spill the iced tea. “just thinkin’” y/n replied, staring at the picture of the two perched on the mantle.

“about..?” billie said hesitantly. “us.” y/n said. “oh, good things i hope” billie nervously chuckled.

“if we come out about our relationship, do you think we’ll get hate?” y/n said sharply. billie’s head snapped towards her, “woah, where did you get that from.” she asked. “i told you, i’m just thinkin’” y/n spoke, feeling helpless.

“i think we’ll get hate no matter what we do,” billie said. “no, i mean,” y/n hesitated and sighed. “i don’t know, never mind.”

“but-“ billie started, “never mind billie.” y/n ended the conversation.

“too shy to say, but i hope you stay.”

“y/n” billie spoke into the silence. “yeah bil?” y/n said softly, looking back at billie from her seated place on the couch.

“i don’t want to hide anymore.” billie spoke confidently. “what?” y/n questioned, feeling rather confused as to where this came from.

“i want to be able to hold your hand in public, post you, love you without being afraid of someone ‘catching’ us.” billie said, finally expressing her feelings. “i love you, and i think that’s all that matters.”

“okay.” y/n whispered. “okay?” billie questioned, feeling invalidated. “what do you mean ‘okay’?” billie said, walking up to the girl and taking the spot next to her on their couch.

“i agree with you billie.” y/n said, not making eye contact with her. “then? what’s wrong?” billie asked, holding y/n’s hand, caressing it.

“i don’t want to hurt you.” y/n said, looking up at the love of her life. “why would you-“ y/n cut billie off, “i don’t want to hurt your career.” y/n spoke.

“oh.” billie murmured. “i don’t care about that.” billie spoke strongly. “i care about you and our future together.” billie was slowly getting more confused.

y/n leaned in for a hug. not saying a word, but feeling the love around them.

they held each other for the rest of the night.

“come out and play”

after hearing the last chords of the song, y/n looked up at billie with tear filled eyes. y/n found herself reminiscing each memory that correlated with the song.

“i’m sorry.” y/n sobbed, hugging billie. “why baby? don’t be sorry.” billie said. “i only want the best for us.” she smiled reassuringly.

“i’m ready.” y/n said, pulling herself away from billie and wiping underneath her eyes. “you’re right. our opinion is the only opinion that matters. it’s our relationship, not anybody else’s.”

billie could explode of happiness if she were able to. she hugged y/n hard, “i’m so happy you finally feel this way.” billie held y/n’s face and leaned in for a kiss full of love and joy.

-

the couple couldn’t be happier.

sure, they got some hate here and there, but not enough to tear them apart.

[hannahluvsbillie]

causal.

pairing: billie x reader

a/n: this is my first time writing a blurb like this! sorry if it’s lowkey messy and confusing, let me know if it is 😓. i came up with this idea half awake at 1 am and i thought i’d post it here!! ok bye im talking too much

warnings: none (maybe angst if you squint)

“this’ll be casual right?”

billie says, looking into your eyes. the moon shining through the windshield of her car, giving the car a type of lighting that can’t be recreated, especially as it’s shining on her.

you nod. you’ll regret nodding in the later months. when everything doesn’t feel casual. especially these car rides you two have. where she picks you up, then somehow you two end up in the backseat, her between your legs, praising you like your the only woman that really matters to her.

“yeah. causal.” you say under your breath.

billie just nods, smile still lingering on her face as she backs up out of the parking spot and starts to drive back to your apartment.

i tried to be the cool girl that holds her tounge and gives you space.

you and billie were driving, again. it’s become a weekly routine of yours. she picks you up, then she drives to nowhere in specific. then you end up in a parking lot, in the back seat. every. time.

suddenly, her phone lights up. out of pure instinct you look down at it, seeing a DM from instagram. you immediately recognize the username, that’s the girl you saw in her following. it was almost like the username lit up with red light to you.

billie glances over and sees you looking down at her phone, she casually puts her hand over the phone and flips it over to where you couldn’t see it. of course she’s hiding it from you.

whatever, it wasn’t like you two where exclusive. no matter how much you wished you two were, it would never happen.

a few weeks later, you two where in the same spot. the same thing happened. her phone lit up with the same username.

it may of been the lack of sleep you got last night, but you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“who’s that?” you say softly, glancing up at billie.

“hm?” she hums, her hand resting on your thigh. she looks down at her phone and if you weren’t staring at her, you wouldn’t of seen it. but the slightest bit of anxiety crosses her face.

“oh, just some girl.” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing.

she does the same thing she did last time, and the time before last. she flips her phone over.

“are yall two… like a thing?” you say softly, your voice dripping with anxiety.

“don’t worry about it mama.” she says, looking over at you for a split second.

you wanted to chuck her phone out the window at that moment, irritated by her causal response.

you take a deep breath, this could either lead to another argument or to just a brush off response from her. deep down you hoped for the latter.

“how many girls do you talk to bills?” you say, your tone comes off annoyed. your true emotions showing.

her hand grips your thigh just a bit harder, and her eyebrows raised at your tone.

“whys it matter?”

“we aren’t exclusive.” she says the last sentence under her breath.

that last sentence felt like she just stabbed you in the chest. even though you knew deep down that was the truth, you had found yourself believing a false reality, that maybe she did want more with you. that you could be her one and only.

“oh- i was just wondering.” you say, sounding small. she always had a way to make you feel like you were in the wrong.

but no, it was all just a game to her. your just another one of the girls she talks to. you always will be to her.

[thewonandonly]

09:30 — don't know where you are right now, did you see me on tv? i'll try not to starve myself, just because you're mad at me, and i'll be in denial for at least a little while, what about the plans we made? | tv by billie eilish

san sat in the dressing room, using the towel given to him to wipe his forehead from his sweat, pulling out his phone from his bag to look at his messages; if there were any.

only to his disappointment to see that there were none.

not a single message from you, even telling him how amazing he performed like you normally did. he felt nauseous.

it was really over.

his fingers lingered on the home screen, frowning to himself before he tossed his phone aside, feeling anger and resentment towards you.

but he loved and missed you so much. please don't take his thoughts the wrong way.

he just needed you.

copyright © 2023 thewonandonly. all rights reserved.

[eilishsmuse]

— BILLIE EILISH

— imagines

i hate that i can’t love you

comfortable silence is so overrated

no need to persuade

confess that you were lost

— blurbs

coming soon…

— social media au

getaway

[xoluvx]

can we get something where reader really struggles to orgasm and gets insecure bc it takes her a while to cum but Billie is determined and won’t let up until it happens?? btw looooove ur writing like absolutely obsesed!

omg thank you baby 💖 yes please enjoy ily !!

"i can't do it," you breathed looking down at her with furrowed brows. you were trying. you were trying so hard that you were fisting the sheets. your eyes desperate. bottom lip plump from biting down on it for so long. almost an hour to be exact.

billie's tongue worked your pussy in marvelous ways. it rotated on your clit purposefully. you felt so sensitive every time she flicked her tongue. the tingles spreading throughout your body. the tight feeling coiling in your insides.

“come on, baby” billie whispered inserting her fingers. her bright blue eyes watched your face contort in pleasure. you were very much embarrassed that it was this difficult for you to cum which was so silly because she was so mouthwatering and the way she touched you was so holy. you groaned and tossed your head back shutting your eyes. you were so in your head-

“please,” billie’s voice was in your ear. her lips on your skin. the smell of your arousal on her tongue which was now running along your neck. she pumped her fingers slowly at first. her lips found yours in tender embrace. tongue running along your bottom lip begging for permission. you granted it allowing her to consume you. letting yourself melt into her touch as the pace of her fingers increased. she curled her fingers coaxing the orgasm out. it was on her fingertips. she could feel the way you clenched and throbbed around her fingers.

so hot. pins and needles at the bottom of your feet. stars behind your lids as your lips parted and your sweet moans filled the room. you were convulsing on her fingers. clenching until a wave of relief washed over you. you choked for air as billie mumbled sweet nothings against your lips. so proud. so good for her. all words that got you wound up all over again.

[naturesapphic]

Biker Bils

Biker!billie eilish x fem!reader

Warnings: fluff :)

“Hey mamas! Come outside with me for a second. I wanna show you something.” Billie said to you as you came barreling in the front door, a helmet by her side. You quickly followed her outside to see a nice shiny black motorcycle right in front of you. You let out a loud gasp that made Billie chuckle “you like babygirl? I just got it since my old one was too old.” She explained to you and you nodded.

“I love it bils! It’s amazing.” You say walking over to it, admiring its features as Billie stands behind you. “Wanna go for a ride with me?” Billie says with a smirk. You narrow your eyes at her and huffed. “You know I don’t like when i go on rides with you! You always go so damn fast!” You explain to her. She chuckled and placed her hands on your hips. “Don’t worry baby I’ll go slow just for you.” She whispers near your ear that makes your body shiver. You let out a shaky huff and you nodded. “Okay fine…but i swear Billie if you start to drive fast im gonna kick your fine ass.” You Warned her and she let out her little giggle.

“Okay okay I promise. Now let’s go! I wanna show you a cool new spot i found.” She says handing you her helmet and helping you on the bike before getting on herself. She started it up and off the two of you went. The wind was blowing in y’all’s faces, hair flying everywhere. The sun was slowly setting, giving off beautiful colors as it descends to let the moon take its place. Y’all drove for about thirty minutes until she took a different path and y’all were on a road with no houses or any other buildings. Just the grass and the trees.

It was truly remarkable. You leaned your head on Billie’s back as you took in your surroundings as she slowed the bike down to show you her spot she found. “Isn’t it gorgeous?” You say as you take it all in. “Not as gorgeous as you are sweetheart.” Billie replies back and you blush hard at her words, softly biting her shoulder, causing her to let out a breathy laugh. Y’all continued driving until it was dark and that was when y’all started heading home. You didn’t know how but you felt someone gently shake you. Opening your eyes, you found out you accidentally fell asleep on your girlfriend’s back.

“Shit sorry bils…” you say as you let out a stretch and a yawn. “No problem baby. Let’s get you to bed.” She says as she turns off the motorcycle and takes your helmet off. She picks you up bridal style and the two of you head inside the house. She carries you up the stairs and into the bedroom. “Let’s freshen up before we sleep.” She says as she carries you to the bathroom. Billie places you down on your feet as she takes off her sweaty clothes and puts on some deodorant as you did the same. After y’all freshened up, the two of you went into bed and held each other. “Thanks for not going fast and for taking me on the ride. It was very fun and relaxing.” You thanked her and she gave you a smile in return. “No problem baby. If you want, we can go riding tomorrow?” She volunteered and you quickly nodded your head yes making her laugh. “Then it’s settled. Let’s get some rest now mamas. I love you.” She whispers against your cheek as she pulls your body to her front so y’all are facing each other. “I love you more bils.”

A/n: didn’t know how to end this but i told one of my friends about what if “biker Billie” so i had this in the drafts for a bit bc I didn’t know what to write. But I started something a little bit ago and now it’s midnight, my mind is crazy and I can’t sleep so I decided to finish it and so here it is lol idk what this is but I hope y’all enjoy. Remember to stay hydrated and to rest. I love y’all :)

[chrissv4mp]

YOU REALLY, REALLY KNOW ME

i never liked my crooked teeth.

you tell me their your favorite thing... anything else?...

billie couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from you, and it went the same way for yourself. your eyes trained on hers, lips only inches away from her own, plump, red ones, bodies so close together it was like you two were a whole.

"what's wrong?" she speaks softly, her voice so quiet, almost like if she spoke even a little louder, the ceiling would cave in and trap you together. not that you would mind being stuck with her for an eternity.

the frown on your face isn't exactly unnoticeable, but it definitely wouldn't be noticed by anyone who had taken a quick glance at you. but, billie... she always knew whenever you were feeling down, "nothin'."

"then why do y'keep biting your lip, huh?"

fuck. she knew those little details. she knew every little detail of your life and your personality and almost everything about you. your eyes wander, hesitantly moving away from her face and looking down at the bed sheets.

they were still wrinkled from your... previous activities. it was a long night, and when you came home, billie saw those tired eyes of yours. she wanted nothing more than to take care of you, and she wouldn't hesitate to take you again if you needed it.

"jus'..." you sigh quietly, harshly biting down on your lip again. billie quickly moved a hand to cup your face, her thumb running along your bottom lip to tug it from between your teeth, "no more, mama, ts' gonna start to bleed."

her eyes were still focused on yours, her hand moving your head up to look directly into her eyes. you were safe with her, and she wanted you to know that. always.

your voice is shaky as you speak, your hand moving to her free one and interfacing your fingers. they fit perfectly in one another's, almost like you were made for her. only her, "marks—the stretch marks.. on my thighs."

"don't feel pretty," you confess, "wanna be pretty f'you, bills. you're so pretty, i—" billie quickly shushes you with a kiss. after a full 30 seconds, she pulls away, the both of you almost completely out of breath. your faces are flushed, saliva connecting your lips.

her eyes dart from one of your eyes to the other, then down to your lips and repeating the action over and over until she finds the words, "you are so unbelievably pretty, Y/N, don't ever tell yourself you aren't." she whispers, squeezing your hand softly in reassurance.

before you can reply, she pushes you off her lap, switching your positions so that you were laying on your back and she was in between your thighs, "these—" kiss, "—just—" kiss, "—make you—" kiss, "—even—" kiss, "—prettier.—" kiss.

she kisses every one of the marks she can reach, her thumbs rubbing circles on your waist. her eyes stay on yours, watching as your lips curve into a smile and tears form in your eyes.

"think you need a 'lil reminder, ts' that right?"

@mseilishmwah @sophloveswomen @mxqdii @livialifesblog @devynscomet @her-favorite @br4ttyeilish @wiidfi0wer33 @loving1dsworld @tan1shere @fallingforfalll2 @cierraonline @dandelions4us @xoluvx @hrtsdollie

[yearningandstillnotlearning]

torment

-B.E.

A/N: teeny tiny blurb🍓

ᝰ🖋️: suggestive duh?!

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

thighs clasped together, squirming on the couch with a fidget need at the tips of your fingers.

“whats wrong? something happen?” so caring, so sweetly worried,

“im tired, its getting late” so fake.

a head turning at the clock looking with a squint, a faint held-back smile with an undertone of amusement to it. “its winter, the sun is down but its eight. since when do you get tired so early?”

she knows, the avoiding of eye contact, the excess fidgeting, the subtle moving of your hips. just enough to get the energy out of them somehow, just enough to go by unnoticed if it weren’t her goal all evening to get you just like that.

“since the sun did too.” monotone, but pained. an ache at the cords to make your replied coherent. she wasn’t born yesterday, you’re not hanging out for the first time, its obvious. neutral facial expression with uneven breathing, focusing on anything ahead as long as its not her, blank stare, a deer in headlights.

but she wanted to hear it. “ohh is the poet becoming the poetry itself? well don’t let me stop you,” without looking at her you could tell she was smiling, “go on if you have to.” she knows.

no matter the courage or the amount of times you backwards count, you cant stand on your feet. you’ve been trying, for conversations now. “i-..” cutting your own self off, you tear your eyes off the frame on the wall, dragging them all the way to her. “i don’t think i physically can” cheeks set aflame, a shameful giggle making its way out your chest.

this friendship has always been playful, and each time it gets more and more effective - which is both good and bad. depending whose perspective you see it from.

even when she tries her best to not smile, her eyes always do. they always did, her mouth didn’t have to. “whys that? need help?” such a tone. what a tone. she knew just the right buttons to push, like a favourite video game, she knew just what to do, and she would know so even blind.

“fuck off.”

[cierraonline]

BILLIE IS DUMB!  WORKING LIKE A SLAVE AND NOT PAID! AND GOOSEBUMPS!

1 

“I have to burp.” 

“So burp, dummy.”

2 

“Are we ordering food?” 

“Didn’t you just have a sandwich?” 

“And?...Your point?”

3 

“Have you ever thought about killing yourself?” 

“Yeah…all the time when I was younger, you remember?” 

“Oh…yeah.”

Rolling…

Whatever the Fuck This Is Podcast 

Season 1 | Episode 1 

BILLIE IS DUMB!  WORKING LIKE A SLAVE AND NOT PAID! AND GOOSEBUMPS!

“Welcome to the first episode of ‘Whatever The Fuck This Is Podcast’ where we have no idea what the fuck we are doing...but it's entertaining so keep watching,” Plotted on the couch in whatever position made them comfortable on their Nickelodeon orange 87.8-inch modern velvet upholstered luxury sofa, presented the host of this new podcast, Siren Vixen and Billie Eilish.

“You already know who we are unless you...know...you’re slow,” Billie laughs. “Not that we have anything against slow people.”

“Yeah, I mean, I am married to a slow person so no discrimination over here,” Siren chimes in, causing Billie to quickly turn her head to the right to face her co-host.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Siren shook her head, turning back to the camera.

“Did you just call me slow!?” Billie’s ocean eyes widen, releasing a scoff from her mouth in disrespect.

“It’s not your fault,” Siren turns to her wife. “You were homeschooled.”

“Bitch! So were you!” The twenty-two-year-old exclaims with a humorous smile on her face. “In fact, you were homeschooled...with me...by my mother!” Billie quickly turns back to the front camera. “Don’t let this whore manipulate you to think she’s smart, because she is as slow as me.”

“So you admit you're slow?”

“No.”

“But you just said, quote on quote, ‘she is as slow as me,’ meaning you admit that you’re slow,” Siren points, using physical evidence against her partner.

“What’s ten times ten, Siren?” Billie raised an eyebrow, bringing up a time that clearly wasn’t her wife’s brightest moment.

“What’s a grape, Billie?” The brown-skinned girl fought back.

“Anyways,” Billie sighs, turning back to the camera, repositioning the microphone in her hand. “If you’re hearing a hyena scream in the background, don’t worry it’s just Finneas and Claudia laughing. For some reason, it was like our whole family wanted to watch us.”

“It’s because without us, they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves, bunch of losers,” Siren jokingly rolls her eyes.

“We are not a bunch of losers,” Maggie chimes in from her position behind the camera. “And we just like to be around you guys.”

“All I’m hearing are just excuses,” Billie smiles at her mother.

“Alright let’s start this motherfucker!” Siren yelled out randomly, causing everyone to look at her in confusion.

“Personality #2, sweetie...let’s use our inside voices, okay,” Billie pets her as if she was a cat that needed to be coaxed.

“Eww, don’t do that,” Personality #2 brushed her wife's hand off of her. “Let’s read our horoscopes.”

“Eww,” Billie gives a stank look.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Be nice,” Maggie warns. The girls’ relationship had a love-hate dynamic, meaning they were obsessed with each other (one more than the other, Billie) but they were also each other’s bullies. Everyone who knows them really just shrugs it off, but those aka fake fans and blogs who don’t, just think they are abusive to each other. This leaves Maggie worrying about the girls being portrayed a certain way and trying to censor their dynamic a little.

“Babe, your horoscope says, ‘Some vivid, intense dreams might reveal a lot about you and your motivations, which could increase your self-awareness and make everything easier for you,’” Siren reads off the daily horoscope for Sagittarius.

“I haven’t had any dreams lately,” Billie denies.

“You literally told me you had a dream about eating a burrito before the cameras came on.”

“Yeah but that’s not like a dream, dream.”

Siren had two choices: argue or leave it alone. Because what the fuck is a dream, dream that’s not an actual dream?

“My horoscope,” Siren sighs, rolling her eyes, urging the want to debate to dissolve. “Heightened intuition and ESP could lead to some interesting conversations with others who are blown away by your insights into their thoughts, feelings, and desires. ’”

“Why is yours so much better than mine,” A playful groan comes out of Billie’s mouth.

“Because I’m better than you.”

“Stop talking to me.”

“I literally have to talk to you...we’re doing a podcast.”

“Anyways, today we will be doing a storytime on how Siren started music, which you guys would’ve known but Amazon cut her scenes out of the documentary.”

“They said I was destructive...like what the fuck does that mean?”

“Bro, you literally were cursing every 3 seconds, raged out multiple times, and punched that son of a bitch,” Travis, Siren’s older brother and manager, spoke up from behind the camera.

“And they made the right decision.”

“Absolutely,” Billie nods her head.

“I was a wild child who just needed to sit the fuck down somewhere. But I’ll tell the story...well, what I could remember.....”

~~~

S I R E N.....

I get those goosebumps every time

Yeah, you come around, yeah

"Real 92.3, It's Siren Vixen and her 'Goosebumps' requested to play for the hundredth time today," Big Boy's Neighborhood host Big Boy introduces the song that's been playing all day on every hip hop station.

You ease my mind, you make everything feel fine

"Dude, 'Goosebumps' playing on every station ," Travis, my older brother, turns the dial of the radio in his car in a smooth motion, revealing that in fact, my song was actually currently playing on every hip hop music station.

"I wish something else would play," I groan, slightly banging my head against the passenger side window, watching the scenery warp from a clear image to a blur. "I'm tired of hearing my voice."

"Well, get used to it," Travis tells me from his self-appointed position as my manager.

"Why?" I move my eyes to my phone that vibrates in my hand. "I thought this was a one-time thing. It was supposed to be a joke, releasing that song on SoundCloud."

"Siren, the second you hit top artist on SoundCloud in a week over X and Ski's release is when this stopped being a joke. Your dope-ass song is playing on every radio station a month later."

"What's the difference from when basically everyone had my pictures on their phones and this?" Back when everyone was on Tumblr, I had a page called mydadisapornstar that went viral because of my looks and then my reveal of my diagnosis for Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), aka multiple personality disorder, aka like the movie SPLIT...but you know, less...creepy?

"This music shit is going to go somewhere," Travis shakes his head, making a right turn into our neighborhood, Highland Park.

Worried 'bout those comments, I'm way too numb, yeah

"Yeah, and how do you know?" I smirk at the ridiculous thought that doing music was just going to change my life. Like, come on! I only did the song because Billie was complaining that songwriting, recording, and mastering were hard. Now, if it was regular me (Personality #1), I wouldn't have said shit, but Personality #2 is a cocky son of a bitch who just had to open her mouth. And that turned into a challenge where Finneas made a random instrumental, and I had to write and do vocals. The song was done, and it was absolute trash, but everybody in the O'Connell and Vixen households thought otherwise. So, to prove to them it was a trash song, I posted it on my Tumblr page which someone reposted on SoundCloud and tagged me in. And now, a month later, people have taken this a little too far.

"Bro!! Don't make me beat your ass," Travis glares at me, causing me to laugh. "You have a music deal literally sitting on your desk from ACID & Interscope Music that you using as a fucking coaster for your Arizona. We are packing to go on tour with your girlfriend all over the fucking world. Do I also need to mention, that there's literally a fucking cameraman in my backseat recording for y'all two's documentary?!" With furrowed eyebrows, I quickly turn to the back and see a man with a medium-sized camera in his hand recording me and my brother.

"When the fuck did he get in the car?" I turn back to Travis in confusion.

"Personality #3 was here and kept weirdly flirting with him," Travis answers my question nonchalantly. This was a frequent thing in my life with having a fucked-up brain. I live my life being a host for two other personalities, Personality #2, aka Daddy, is this badass cocky son of a bitch vampire anime girl with severe anger issues, aka diagnosed with IED. Personality #3, aka Mommy, is the lesbian hentai addict and hypersexual who craves influential power to make others do what she wants...with consent. And then you have me, Personality #1, aka the daughter, the sixteen-year-old lab experiment who has no sense of reality, aka derealization disorder, born without a mother...I'm a surrogate baby. Permanent ink and piercings all over my body...because I'm a pussy who's too scared to actually bring a blade to my body.

"Sorry," I apologize to the cameraman, who waves me off in understanding? I don't know. All I know is he waved it off.

It's way too dumb, yeah

"Welcome to our crib," Travis pulls his blood rich-red Dodge Charger into the driveway of our home next to our dad's parked dark gray Dodge Charger.

"We don't really live here because we would never tell random people where we live and how to get to our home as if people don't know how to find landmarks," I sarcastically smile into the camera. "Also, did I mention I am not PG-friendly? Like, I swear like a sailor, I smoke weed pens almost everywhere, and I got my fashion sense from this one grunge hentai series character...meaning my clothes aren't appropriate for my age. So, to the editors of this documentary, I'm sorry for all the censoring you are about to be doing."

"Your parts of the documentary are uncensored and unfiltered," the cameraman speaks up for the first time.

"You can talk?" I look at him with wide eyes in shock. "Like deadass, since you've been in the car, you have not spoken. Are you allowed to?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Jeff Bezos, don't fire him, he's wonderful at his job," I look into the camera until I remember something. "So what? y'all are just taking raw cuts from me...?" A smirk appears on my lips. "I feel so bad for y'all. Y'all are going to regret this."

"Get the fuck out of my car," Travis unprovokingly pushes me, causing me to almost hit my head on the window.

"Only pussies push little girls," I shove him back, turning around to get out of the car.

"Go cry to your mom, bitch."

"Why would you say that to me?" My tone lowers, with a pout on my lip. "You know I don't have a mom. Why are you being momist to me?"

"I don't have a mother either," Travis stops walking to look at me. Just imagine two people standing outside, just staring at each other, making no movement or blinking whatsoever. Then imagine from a distance of five steps is a man in all black recording while he's probably wondering what the fuck is wrong with us.

"Damn, so you never had titty milk?"

"Nah, I have. I got hoes for that," Travis bursts out in laughter, causing me to laugh too until I realize what he said.

"You fucking pregnant bitches?" I tilt my head. Let me tell you, Mr. Cameraman could not keep his composure and choked on his laughter. I should really get his name, but Mr. Cameraman sounds cool, lowkey.

"Yoo, what the fuck are y'all doing outside?!" A loud, belligerent voice enters the air, causing us to look at the source.

"That's my father, he was a pornstar!" I smile at the camera. "He's retired though...sorry ladies or guys if you're a cuckold. I don't discriminate. "Dad, tell them about your couch audition experience!"

"Shut the fuck up, Siren, and get next door!" The Italian ex-pornstar now porn film writer shouts at me, pointing to the next house over, the O'Connells' home. Aka my boo's house.

"He loves me, I promise," I turn back to the camera. "Dad, you have to be nice to me or they're going to think you don't love me." I walk over to my father and give him a hug, like I always do when I see him. I'm a daddy's girl. And a mommy's girl if you know what I mean...wink wink.

"Because I don't," He retorts in a serious tone. In his defense, his joking tone is serious; you just gotta know the vibe to know he's joking. "You're a pain in the ass sometimes," He brushes down my straight hair with his left hand.

"You love it." I smiled. Sometimes I just like being embraced by my Dad. It's comforting, especially after an episode.

"Okay, come on, the reps and management are next door," my dad turns us in the direction of my second family home with Mr. Cameraman following. See, my father and brother would knock and just wait for someone to answer...Me? I just walk in and make my presence known so I don't walk in on Mama Maggie and Papa Patrick doing the "tango" again.

"I'm home!" I take off my outside shoes and slip on my Pokémon slippers. Outside shoes inside the house are just one of my pet peeves, which is weird since outside clothes on the bed aren't, unless you were fucking active outside and now you're dirty, sweaty, and smell like expired milk. Or if you were sitting on a bus or train.

"They're in Finneas's room waiting for you," Maggie walks out of the kitchen, giving me a hug. I might've not had a traditional mom, but I always had a mom and her name is Maggie Baird, or Casting Director #2 if you're nasty...cause you know...she was on F.R.I.E.N.D.S....as casting director #2.

"First, sign the deal," my father holds out a short stack of papers towards me along with a pen. "You're done being difficult. Negotiation is done, and everything you unrealistically wanted you got. All you have to do is sign."

"100% creative control over music?"

"And your image."

"Will I get to be with Billie?"

"We're prepared to work in a duo formation," Maggie chimes in, still having her arms around me. "You guys will do individual and group interviews, performances and tour together.."

"Travis gets to be my manager?" From what I was told, if you don't have a manager then the label will give you one, but like why the fuck would I trust them to get me a manager, aka a stranger I don't even know? Like, do you even love your mama? But this was a separate deal I had with my dad. I wanted my brother so I can have someone I trust and know will look after me. Plus, besides my dad, Travis is the only one who really knows how to deal with my disorders to the full extent, and that means from feeling low to feeling explosive. But just between you and me, it's also because Travis is my smoking buddy ... .Because he buys...Free weed pens just hits better.

"Trial run..." My dad signs from previous conversations. It's just him being paranoid that there will be a time where Travis won't know what to do if Personality #2's IED episodes are to happen. For my dad, I'm guessing it's like raising four kids and having three daughters, so he had to learn how to approach and parent each of my personalities since we all have equal time being at the surface. So with me, Personality #1, my dad is laid back and chill. With Personality #2, he's more militant, which was kind of easy for him since he used to be a brat tamer. Personality #3 brings out more of his protective side. "But you need to know this isn't a baseball game; there's no missing until strike out. This is serious and can turn dangerous quickly."

"We know," me and Travis say in sync.

"Signing bonus?" I went back to my list of demands I was jokingly asking for, but they in fact took it seriously...but they don't need to know that.

"3.5 million."

"I thought I asked for 5?" I pouted.

"You're a flight risk," Travis speaks up, remembering what was talked about at the last negotiation meeting. "They want to know if your existence in the music industry is a wave or if you're a permanent figure. Which means you have to be consistent."

"Ugh, I hate consistency," I rolled my eyes.

~~~

“I wish everyone could have watched your part of the documentary,” Billie comments. “When the documentary came out and everyone watched it as a viewer, it was like this heartfelt ‘get to know Billie Eilish the teenager and singer’ movie. But I just hate how they cut your part out, so it made it seem like I was going through this new stage of my life and depression by myself with no help. And that’s not how it was. With the person who shall not be named, depression, feeling like I have no friends, you were there for it all and did things to make me feel better. I love the film, but I just hate that you don’t get enough credit because during our last years of being teenagers, you were dealing with making your own music even though you didn’t want to make music, touring, and dealing with my problems.”

“Filming and doing the documentary was weird, but I felt like that could’ve been the place where everyone got to know me and my other personalities. But watching the documentary and seeing not even one of my scenes was mind-blowing because it’s like, what the fuck have I been doing for the past two to three years then? Why force me to film some dark shit but not show it or at least tell me when it wasn’t making the final cut and this was now a Billie Eilish film.”

“Yeah, that was weird,” Billie agrees.

“She didn’t even get paid for it,” Travis spoke up.

“Wait! What?” Billie sat up from her position, looking back and forth between Siren and Travis with eyes that read shock. “You didn’t get paid for doing the film?”

“Nope!” She pops the ‘p.’ “They were like, since it didn’t make the final cut, there’s no need to pay me.”

“That’s so not okay.”

“It’s whatever,” Siren shrugged. “But I have the film, so I might upload it one day.”

“You should,” Billie nods her head in strong agreement.

“Well, that’s all we have for today’s video,” Siren turns to the camera.

“Don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe,” Billie smiles.

“And we’ll see you next week.”

| welcome to the book I write & edit when high | 

𝓡𝓘𝓟 𝓐𝓝𝓖𝓤𝓢 𝓒𝓛𝓞𝓤𝓓 

July 10, 1998 - July 31, 2023 

𝑒𝓊𝓅𝒽𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒶 𝓈𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶: 𝓌𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓈𝒶𝓌 𝒜𝓈𝒽𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝑔𝑒𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝓉 𝓇𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉. 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒹𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓏𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝑜𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓈𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓎 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓌𝒽𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝐹𝑒𝓏. 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒿𝓊𝓂𝓅, 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒶𝓈𝓉, 𝑜𝓇 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓃.