#crim helluva boss

[mrhaney05]

crimson (helluva boss) sings metal militia originally by metallica

[itorunatheplatypus]

Angel versions of Crim and Chaz based on @emositecc 's heaven AU~

[lordofdestructionm]

[strivia]

Blitz piecing together the shit-show of a situation they walked into in 2x03.

I am a sucker for protective Blitz, and while Millie was the person doing all the fighting in the climax of this episode, Blitz really was here like, "oh hell no, these fucks are not taking Moxxie from us!" too.

[shortbreadly]

if it’s a helluva boss flashback sequence it’s going to emotionally devastate me

[hellevac]

Blitz got me drawing imps so here's my doodle before bedtime with a few. sorry striker my hand got tired I mostly wanted to draw Cash and Crim tho ngl

[boldlyspeedydreamerreturns]

Another fic request!

This one took a little while, I finally got it done. I always considered Crimson x Alessio a joke ship. Give the raging homophobe a boyfriend haha. But this was a fun request to do. Hope you all enjoy a little hurt/comfort from the mob boys

-----------------------------------------

Another day, another gang war. That's life in the greed ring, at least for those in this particular lifestyle. Crimson was pinned behind a rusted out truck during a nasty shoot out. Alessio right beside him. Given the circumstances, nobody batted an eye at the mob boss tucked close into the side of his bodyguard. It was an easy way to keep him safe after all. The shots finally stopped as the enemy reloaded. This gave them a chance to move. Alessio took the lead, keeping Crimson on his right, out of the line of fire. They moved quickly, almost out of the yard when shots rang out again. Crimson was suddenly shoved behind a concrete barricade. He had closed his eyes to keep from getting too much debris in them, but felt Alessio covering him with his own larger body. The two were pressed tight against each other in the small space. Crimson’s head was so close to Alessio’s chest he could practically hear the shark demon’s racing heart beat.

“Al…” The mob boss began, but was quickly silenced by a hand coming up and covering his mouth.

“Hold on, boss. Something doesn't feel right.” The shark slowly peeked his head out from the barricade, only to be met with more fire. He quickly pulled back.

“Shit, they've got us pinned down.” He removed his hand from Crimson's mouth.

“Al, you're lucky this is a dire situation, otherwise you'd be dead for pulling that shit.” The imp glared at his bodyguard.

“Sorry boss. We need to figure out another way to get to the gate. It's the only way out of here.” The two looked around, trying to figure out another route. Crimson's eyes landed on a small opening on the other side of the barricade.

“There's a hole on the other side there. If we can move some of that rubble we should be able to get through.” The imp ducked under the shark’s arm and moved towards the hole. Alessio stayed behind him, keeping a distance in case he needed to turn around and fight.

Crimson moved the rubble out of the way, but he knew the opening would still be too small for Alessio to get through. He tried to think, they both needed to get out. Suddenly there was a large explosion from the other side of the barricade, making it all shake. Crimson nearly fell over from the shock of the explosion. Alessio caught him, keeping the imp upright. He stayed there for a moment, taking a breath before pulling himself away.

“We're almost out of time, Al. We need to move now, but the hole’s too small. I can get through, but you…”

“Go.”

“What?”

“Boss, go. You need to get back to the mansion. I'll find another way, but you need to go while you can.” Crimson looked at Alessio in shock for a moment, then he glared at the shark.

“Are you fucking stupid? No way in hell am I leaving without you.”

“You don't have a choice this time, boss.”

“The fuck do you mean I…” Before he could finish Alessio picked Crimson up by his sides and shoved him through the opening. The imp stood up on the other side.

“Get back to the mansion. You'll be safe there. I'll be fine.”

“Alessio don't you dare…” But it was too late. Alessio moved the rubble back in front of the opening so Crimson couldn't get back through. The imp cursed under his breath, but ran away.

It didn't take long for him to get back to his mansion where the rest of his men already were. The ones that didn't die anyways. The others noticed their boss was banged up and bloody, so one of them brought him a first aid kit. Crimson took it, but wouldn't let any of them touch him, patching himself up alone. Only Alessio had ever been allowed to touch him. Another shark stepped forward.

“Hey boss, where's Al? Wasn't he with you?” Crimson didn't respond right away, finishing the patch job before speaking.

“We were pinned down. There was a way out, but it was small. Al didn't fit, so he had me go through the opening and said he'd find another way. He should be back soon…” The last part didn't sound as confident as he wanted. The others shared worried glances.

It was another four hours. Crimson paced the room so much he could have put a hole in the floor. His mind was racing. He didn't know what else to do. He wanted to go back and look for Al, but it was too risky. Al would be fine right? He was always fine. He was Crimson's bodyguard for a reason. He was strong, and loyal, and brave, and…he would always come back, no matter what. The imp’s breathing got faster as he felt his legs becoming heavy, but he kept pacing, worried if he stopped moving, he'd lose his cool. But soon he heard the sound of the front door opening. He rushed over just in time to see Alessio barely managing to drag himself inside.

“Al!” He hurried over to the shark demon just as he collapsed. The others quickly joined Crimson, lifting Alessio and quickly bringing him in, putting him down on the couch.

“Don't just fucking stand there you clowns, someone call the doctor. You two, stop the bleeding as much as possible. We'll patch him up and keep him breathing until they get here. Hurry!” The other sharks hustled around the imp, doing everything in their power to keep Alessio alive. Crimson sat on the couch, putting Alessio’s head in his lap. He turned the shark's face to look at him.

“Don't you fucking dare close your eyes Al. The doc’ll be here soon. Just keep looking at me, alright. You're gonna be fine. You're fine. Just keep looking. You need to keep looking at me.” Alessio seemed to hear him. The shark kept looking Crimson in the eye. A barely noticeable smile came to his face as the imp stroked his head. The others moved in a flurry around them, but Crimson tuned them out, focusing completely on Alessio.

Soon enough the doctor arrived and Alessio was whisked away to one of the upstairs rooms. Specifically to Crimson's own bedroom.

“My bed is bigger, he'll have more space to work.” That was Crimson's reasoning, at least to his men.

The doctor kept everyone except his assistant out of the room while they worked, which didn't sit right with Crimson. Two more hours passed. He was pacing again. Right outside the door. He twitched and looked up at every painful sound he heard coming from the room. He'd told the rest of his goons to head home for the night, so nobody could see the panic and fear that crossed his face every time he heard Alessio scream or groan in pain. Finally, the doctor opened the door again, allowing Crimson inside. He stepped in to see Alessio under the covers. What parts of him that were sticking out were mostly covered in bandages. The doctor turned to Crimson.

“Thankfully nothing important was seriously damaged. He should make a full recovery in about two weeks, so long as he stays on bed rest.” Alessio groaned at the words, which almost made Crimson chuckle, but he kept it in.

“Thanks doc, I'll make sure he doesn't do anything else stupid for a while.” The doctor nodded. The two left, closing the door behind them. So now, Crimson and Alessio were alone.

Crimson walked over to the bed. His legs felt heavy again. He crawled up onto the large bed next to Alessio. The shark shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, but couldn't.

“Boss…”

“You idiot.” Alessio looked over at Crimson. His eyes widening when he saw the tears spilling down the imp's cheeks.

“WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!? WHY DID YOU DO THAT!? WE COULD’VE FOUND ANOTHER WAY!” All the worry and fear Crimson had been feeling couldn't be held in any longer. He laid down on Alessio's lap, sobbing. Alessio knew he was the one and only person who could ever see Crimson this way.

“I needed to get you out. I made sure you were safe…”

“AND YOU ALMOST GOT YOURSELF KILLED IN THE PROCESS! DON'T YOU GET IT! I COULD HAVE…I…I could have…” His sobbing made it difficult to speak anymore. He curled up against Alessio. The shark demon moved his arms to wrap around the imp, wincing a bit as he was still in a lot of pain.

“I could have lost you. I almost did. What the fuck would I do then, huh?” Alessio gently ran a hand through Crimson's tousled hair.

“You would have found a new bodyguard.”

“Fuck off, you know that's not what I mean.” They both stopped talking for a minute. Crimson's sobs had quieted to sniffling. Alessio continued to run his hand through Crimson's hair.

“I'm sorry, Crim. But…I'm still your bodyguard. And no matter what…else we have behind closed doors, it's still my job to protect you.” Crimson sat up and glared at Alessio.

“And just how the fuck are you supposed to protect me when you're six feet under? Look at you! You can't protect me like this, you can't even stand up! “ A pang of guilt rang in Alessio's chest when he looked into Crimson's eyes again. They were slightly swollen from crying so hard, and behind the anger was a mixture of sadness and relief.

“Just…please. Please don't do that again. I can't lose you too, Al. You're all I've got left.” Alessio leaned down, placing a quick, gentle kiss on Crimson's forehead.

“You're right, Crim. I'm no use to anyone like this, especially you. It was stupid. Forgive me?” Crimson sat there, trying not to think about the blush coming to his cheeks. He finally smiled. He rested against Alessio again, careful not to put his full weight on him. He reached up and gave a peck to Alessio's jaw.

“Alright, I'll forgive you this time. But like I said, don't ever do something that stupid again. I…I need you here with me.”

“I promise, Crim. I'll always be here for you.”

The two smiled at each other. Alessio leaned down again so he could properly kiss Crimson on the lips. The kiss was tender and warm, not something you'd expect from a mob boss and his bodyguard. When they parted, Crimson let out a weak yawn. The stress and emotion of the day finally catching up with him. Alessio chuckled lightly.

“Come on now, we both need our rest. I'll let Hank know in the morning he'll need to take over bodyguard duty for a little while.” Crimson nodded.

He got up and changed into his pajamas before crawling back into bed and curling up under the covers, tucked against Alessio's side. The shark wrapped a protective arm around the imp, allowing himself to lay down fully. Crimson turned off the light before returning to his place beside Alessio.

“Goodnight Alessio….I…I love you.” Alessio smiled, though Crimson couldn't see it.

“I love you too, Crim. Always. Goodnight.” With that, the two finally allowed themselves to drift off to sleep.

Crimson awoke at some point in the darkness from a nightmare, but calmed when he felt Alessio's strong protective arm around him and his soft snoring next to the imp's head. Crimson smiled to himself. In that moment, in the darkness, he felt truly safe. A rare feeling in his line of work, and while he'd never admit it, one he deeply loved, just like the shark that provided it.

[salemontrial]

Hey so was Crimson hiring a hit on either Moxxie or (more likely) Millie last episode? Like did we get sidetracked by all the Everything this episode and accidentally look past the fact that Crimson was hiring Striker-

[mrhaney05]

crimson (helluva boss) sings blasphemy originally by morbid angel

[ask-blitzka]

Hey Blitz, have you heard anything on the old assholes (Striker, Crim, The Cherubs, and the Dorks?).

Blitz: Geez, this early in the day.

Let's see...

Nope. Crim must've booked it back to Greed, and Striker vanished from the Earth, meaning there is a chance the fucker burned to death.

As for those cherubs and Dorks, no clue. I wouldn't be surprised if they died.

The cherubs wouldn't survive a year on in The Living World and I have no clue about those two weirdos.

[n3felibata]

Millie's experience with IMP puts a lot into perspective to me, so get ready for another Striker analysis

I'm not sure if many people remember, but Striker was offered to work at IMP. IMP, the business that an imp started on his own that Striker himself admits is impressive, where imps can live up to their full potential, and is even named after the race. People constantly try to explain that working for rich people doesn't make him a hypocrite because "HE NEEDS THE MONEY AHEOHRBEVW" and "HE LIVES IN A MINESHAFT!!1!11!" But he had the perfect opportunity to not only make a decent living but also work amongst other imps and be part of a family, but instead he rejects that in favor of working with the rich assholes he hates so much (one of which is even more classist than his target) while committing lateral violence against other imps. He'd rather do that than actually advocate for change or support other imps... because, like I've said a million times, he does not care about other members of his race. Just himself

[lordofdestructionm]

Crimson's projection

Why did Crimson immediately jump to the idea of Moxxie's wife being his "beard" (gay guy marrying a woman to cover up his sexuality)?

Is it because thats all his wife meant to him? And because Moxxie is just an extension of him (in his narcissistic mind) it must be the same situation?

Was there more going on than just Crimson obviously being a toxic piece of shit and fights about how to raise Moxxie properly?

Did she discover the truth about her "husband"?

Also Crimson knew about Moxxie and Chaz's relationship, because he in the past described it as a "sissy lifestyle". It wasn't a secret affair.

Why was it only after finding out Chaz tried to con him YEARS later that he mounted his jaw on the wall?

In fact Chaz, before his final moments, never shows any sign of fear around Crimson, he even acts bratty, despite the man being a mob boss with a temper. Why?

Because however long he and Moxxie were together, he clearly got used to an extra amount of tolerance as "Moxxie's annoying boyfriend", and saw Crimson as "Moxxie's grumpy dad"

A habit that hasn't changed despite their "breakup"

Shouldn't a homophobic guy like him have been furious about someone "turning his son gay" the second he found out? Why didn't he just kill Chaz as a warning to Moxxie to "cut that gay shit out" etc

Unless being such a narcissistic father Crimson, despite his comments, was willing to allow the two to date because he himself had a tall shark boyfriend?

[strivia]

Oh I remember how easy you are to choke the life out of little one.

[shortbreadly]

another episode, another day of crim not beating the allegations

[helluva-hazbins-most-fuckable]

[sillyvills]

I don't think Ozzie is *literally* the weakest of the sins. I just think Crim sees being a nice person as weakness. (Which might bite him in the ass later idk)