#cues Beyoncé’s I miss you

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 Finally 4x01!!! The new intro started playing and he got up so fucking fast as if he was watching a game ‘WAIT WHAT?! THIS IS DIFFERENT! OH MY GOD THIS IS COOL AS FUCK! I like this more!! *tries to sing along while not knowing the song* ..cue…BEGIN…pulse..YEAH i fuck with this. And of course the intro ends on Brian walking away. He is the moment!’ ‘Ohhhh Drag Queen moment! I fuck with this. Hi BRIAN! Look at them just hanging out in THEIR loft, damn he is broke as fuck, huh? *said in an affectionate aww type of voice* THEY ARE PARTNERS! He really hates accepting any type of help, huh? Brian maybe you should listen to your own advice from two seasons ago about a man knowing when to accept help. Wait shit, i just remembered the nothing noble about being poor thing. Well fuck Brian’ It briefly showed Mel and Linds and he was so disappointed until Britin popped up again ‘this is what I want every episode, Brian and Justin. And that’s it’ ‘I am genuinely surprised that Hunter and Mike haven’t killed each other. Proud of them’ ‘Brian having lunch with Ben and Linds AND mel? Is he okay? Aw Brian and Justin being sarcastic is one of my favorite things in the world. (Deb says Mikey and her talk 3x a day) Okay, three times a day is…yeah. I mean even I don’t..actually never mind. OH HE IS GONNA KILL EVERYONE IF THEY DONT STOP PITYING HIM. But Bri Bri you are broke as a jok- HA he is gonna steal Bald dudes clients’ ‘i like this drag queen singing in between moments. Its been a while since I went to a drag show. I wonder if they miss me back home..i mean i did tell them I was leaving but still, i hope they miss me- oh ted. I was trying to forget that horrible party-BLAKEY! I’m so happy that he’s good now. EMMETT! Im glad he came to visit but I rea- Ted what the hell is wrong with you? He didn’t do shit wrong to you, why are you being bitchy? No Emy no, blakey didnt do anything wrong. But damn it i get Emy is hurt but fucking hell this isnt it. GIVE ME BRIAN BACK’ brian shows up on screen with Vance ‘HA WHAT DID I SAY? I CAN FEEL WHEN MY BOY IS UP! Wait that..sounds..weird. Of course he looks great, he always does. Oh so now you love him, fuck you baldy, Brian youre better than this. I like his hair. *does jazz hands* spikey. Oh baldy knows that Brian could destroy him if he pulls a Justin Timberlake and goes solo. DO IT BRI BRI! I didnt plan on him having his own company but DO IT!!!!’ ‘How did Mike already lose Hunte- HES HUSTLING AGAIN? *randomly starts laughing* It’s really funny hearing Mike call him little asshole when they’re the same height.’ Ted and Blake are on right now where he’s cleaning the floor ‘ohhhh i think this is gonna be bad. I hope im wrong because i like Blakey but this is looking like you know that thing where you get a crush on your savior or your therapist or something like that? I know my shit..i think’ ‘OH MY GOD WHAT DID THEY DO TO BRIANS CAR? Id rip their head off? I mean the car sucks but damn. Wait i forgot to focus on the important stuff: Brian looks good as fuck! CAN HE STOP KISSING HIM?’ ‘ITS BRIAN AGAIN!(Brian says ‘because no ones close friendship means more to me than yours’) aww Bri Bri, i feel the same way. Im glad you can agree that we have a deep connectio- OH HE IS GONNA GO SOLO! HES PULLING A BEYONCÉ! YOU GO GIRL! I really like the drag queen moments.. i miss my girls back home, i gotta call them.’ ‘AW JUSTIN CAME UP WITH THE COMPANY NAME!! KINNETIK! I fuck with that. I think i need a new shirt (i said No at this point) *looks at me and does jazz hands* merch. Of course Blondie is the one to help him come up with the name. LOOK AT THEM ALL HAPPY AND IN LOVE! Aw they wanna hang out with Emy! I NEEDED THIS TRIO! Make them hang out like when they danced together. The new dream team!’

The new intro! It really reminds me of the OG intro to the OG Beverly Hills 90210 (not to date myself).

It is so hard to watch Emmett and Ted during this arc.

Brian looks sooooooo good in S4.

OH HE IS GONNA GO SOLO! HES PULLING A BEYONCÉ! Truly, I looked it up and she went solo in 2003 right as this was being filmed (if I've got my timelines correct).

AND YES JUSTIN CAME UP WITH KINNETIK. He's named both Gus and Kinnetik (swoon).

The new dream team - I wish!

[juanitasupreme]

you know i'm NEVER one to put women against each other buuuuut lmao who am i kidding give us your snsd variety genius ranking???

Now im glad that you asked @callmesuyinbeifong and as a feminist I do not condone pitting women against each other because it's a behaviour that get you sent to hell selon Taylor Swift

Yuri : the only idol I have seen fall asleep on a program while making kimchi (?), then dancing to Genie right away, just to be asked to be be stopped as soon she began because of the dust she projected. This is the true representation of entertainment. It's also why she is about to get a show with variety gods Yoo Jaseuk and Kwangsoo soon ☝🏽Yuri will always give 100% regardless of her image that's been long gone.

Hyoyeon & Sooyoung: the only way to describe why they are here

Sunny : I actually think deeply in my heart that she deserves the 1st spot! Sunny is a variety genius and she not only can make herself shine but others too. And not to talk about Invisible Youth, but she was a driving force in terms of directing others to show their talent (she was almost a mc). If Mama was booked and not doing a Kourtney she would be on top of my list.

Taeyeon: eventhough she wasn't in the spirit of doing variety shows for most of her career, Taeyeon is highly entertaining no matter what.

Tiffany : she is entertaining on her own. In group settings she misses the cues and I see it jfjfjfjf like on knowing bros when Sooyoung went to hug Hodong and was like why aren't y'all following me, then Tiffany was the only one to get up, it's what I mean. It's probably because other members are too strong in their game that she falls back in groups settings.

Jessica : I'm a shady individual so she is here. If she wasn't allegedly blacklisted I feel like whe would be entertaining

Yoona : I feel like she spent a lot of time surviving on variety shows of being Yoona. À la "you are Beyoncé" "thank you" type of moment. Regarding of the shows, the script would made her the main girl regardless of her variety abilities iykwim. I feel like she is getting better lately so she will soon rise up.

Seohyun : she is the type i see go on variety and wonder how will she capable to survive in this jungle lol

[berberriescorner]

Just wanna let y’all know something right quick. Whenever you see me posting anything positive in reference to Angel Reyes. I’m talkin’ about season 1-2 Angel…maybe even a smidge of season 3. Cause imma finish my wip (eventually 😂).

Season 3-4 Angel:

Imma keep it 💯 with y’all though. He still sexy AF. I’d still let him hit lmaooo 😂🤣😭! He gon’ have to wrap it TF up though! Anddd since he likes to keep a side bitch and multiple baby mama’s on deck. I’d have to fuck EZ…and Manny. Sorry not sorry 🤷🏾‍♀️.

[radiowallet]

Cigars on Ice

Summary: Javi wants you.

WC: 757

Pairing: Javi G. x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, cunnilingous, gratuitious metaphors about oral sex, blink and you'll miss it p in v sex. Basically Javi G. about to get pussy drunk.

Notes: My brain decided it was going to have me listen to Drunk in Love by Beyoncé all day and this poured out of me. I think Javi would be the most selfish unselfish lover in the world. Basically, he's going to give you what you all the orgasms, but it's because he very selfishly loves it. Unbeta'd and proud of it.

I want you.

The night is pitch black where the cold granite meets the heat of skin, your body pressed down tight and stretched open. Above you Javi drinks his fill, hungry and heady, impatience filling in all the little quiet parts of him. He drapes you across the kitchen counter, content to feast on you here, the steps to the bedroom one too many when his need roars so loud. He is greedy for you, lips desperate as they mark a tattoo of want down your neck, the sharp bite of teeth as he carves at your flesh, bruises of need covering the delicate turn of your shoulders. He takes and takes, sucking in the pebbled peak of your nipples, large hands pushing the meat of your breasts together as he buries his face deep within, leaving behind the panting moans of his worship.

He moves with intent; whining, a pathetic mewl that seeks permission, but he knows you gave that to him long ago. The candlelight glowing between you as the sun set slowly, cueing the end of dinner but only marking the beginning of your night. His words curled up and around with the flicker of the flame, eyes whiskey rich where they reflect in the splendor of ambience. You were his, his to love and he is drunk on it. Wanton and possessive, he wants– oh how Javi wants– and as his mouth makes a grinding moan down your body, hot slick, rich with the burn of wine tinged taste buds, you feel that same dizzy wave wash over you.

I need you.

Lips find your core as hands spread you wide, and in the black of night, you can still see his eyes glowing at the sight of you, bare skin and dripping wet and he sighs in relief as he takes his first taste. A slip of pink licking at one single drop of arousal, catching the taste on his tongue, the movement matched from when you had dined together; a drop of wine clinging to the glass and captured by that same sweet taste of pink. The rim of crystal pressed to lips, lips pressed to skin, liquid heat pouring out of you and into him.

Javi does not hesitate, not with his wants or his needs, not with you. He covets the taste of you as he drinks you in, enthusiastic in his desperate greed, pulling you to the edge and pushing you over with the flick of his tongue on your clit, over and over, the bundle of nerves swelling as he works you through that first shiver of release. He smiles into the swell of your thigh and you match the width of what you feel, the pull of lips and press of teeth as laughter bubbles out of him. You reach down to brush at his cheek and catch at his dimple, a hushed whisper that begs for more.

I love you.

Javi will drink you all night. Bruises sucked into skin, fingers pressed between soaked folds, slow then fast then slow again. Lazy kisses that lead you gently to your orgasm with a quiet gasp barely breathed out into the black of night, followed by a voracious tongue and the slurping of your sweat juice as he fucks his fingers into your tight heat, pulling you apart with the scream of bright white pleasure. He cannot keep his hands off you, his eyes in equal measure. He will take and take again. It’s all he’s ever known– to want, to need. To love.

He will savor the taste of you, drunk on your pussy, eyes bleeding out into his own arousal, cock hard, a weeping mess of precome that he smears on your entrance, just the tip slipping in, not nearly enough, before he pulls away and dives back in for another taste. Lust and want and need all swirl together as he licks away the small taste of himself he left behind, relishing in the mix of your bodies, moaning for more as he finds your swollen clit, angry red beyond recognition and he sucks it between his teeth. You come again, his bite pulling you over the edge, the edge of ecstasy, the edge of reality, and suddenly you’re caught in the width of his lap, the caress of his hands, the hold of his skin. He slips into you, filling you up, stuffing you full with the taste of his lips finding your own, and he does not hesitate.

He wants you.

---

Main Masterlist

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[queerquintessence]

heyo

so i recently have been obsessed with the idea of the voltron paladins living in the same house together sooo

i may or may not have spent the last like 3 hours working on headcannons

the characters in the house are keith, lance, hunk, pidge, and allura

(since they’re all relatively similar in age)

so sadly no shiro or coran but

anyway

yeah here they are

(once again a bit unorganized but it’s whatev)

• first off allura and lance are both housewifes

• and neither of them take any shit from the others

• allura: keith, could you pick your feet up? i’m trying to vacuum down here

• keith, sitting on the couch: couldn’t you just do it later

• allura:

• allura: move your feet or i’m telling lonce you have a crush on him

• hunk does the dishes most of the time because he’s mainly the one who cooks their food

• but they also alternate on a schedule

• lance, sighing dramatically: i do everything around here! keith, when was the last time you washed the dishes?

• keith: i literally washed them last night

• lance: well you missed a plate so it doesn’t count

• keith takes out the trash a lot except he doesn’t wear shoes so his feet are always dirty

• lance yells at him for it

• whenever lance takes out the trash he puts on whoever’s shoes are closest

• pidge: lance are those my shoes?

• lance, tiptoeing in sneakers that are 3 sizes too small: maybe

• the couch that they own is too small to fit everyone

• they either argue for 10 minutes over who gets to sit where or they just pile on top of each other

• pidge usually lays on top of someone’s lap when it gets crowded

• she can just flop on top of someone and they’ll just let her- no words spoken

• keith sits on the armrests and everyone gives him shit for it

• lance: aren’t you uncomfortable?

• keith: i like sitting here

• lance: alright edgelord

• lance lays with his legs sprawled on top of the couch

• sometimes pidge will lay on lance who will have his legs on keith

• hunk is fine with sitting on the floor but even he’ll start arguing over the good spot on the couch

• hunk: lance, buddy, you sat there last time- why not give someone else a turn?

• lance: hunk when was the last time you did your own laundry? huh. that’s what i thought

• dinners pretty chaotic

• that’s usually when they have their debates

• lance, pounding his fist on the table: mac and cheese is to be eaten with a fork and that’s that

• pidge: why the hell would you use a fork? spoons are just fine in my opinion

• keith, silently munching on his food knowing he eats it with a knife:

• pidge: alright, we need to acknowledge the elephant in the room

• everyone:

• pidge:

• pidge: keith, you gotta stop putting corn syrup on your peanut butter sandwiches it’s fucking weird

• allura: everyone in favor of limiting lance’s shakira privileges say I

• keith, pidge, and hunk: I

• lance, who’s totally offended: wh

• luckily, they all have their own rooms

• except the walls are super thin

• lance scream singing beyoncé: GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW YOUR LOVES GOT ME LOOKING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW

• keith: why has god forsaken me

• even when they try to play music relatively quiet it can still faintly be heard

• muffled music from keith’s room: when i was, a young boy

• pidge: HA fucking EMO

• they all have Alexa’s in their rooms

• and pidge has access to all of them on her laptop

• pidge: psst- hey lance, watch this

• pidge: *fast typing on laptop*

• blasting from keith’s room: COUNTRYYY ROAAADS TAKE ME HOOOOME

• muffled keith screaming: pIDGE I SWEAR TO GOD

• in the morning during breakfast

• allura: why has lonce not come out of his room yet?

• pidge: hang on, i’ll wake him up

• lance’s alexa in the distance: I’M A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH YOU’RE A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH

• lance’s startled scream is then followed by a loud thud

• once a week they have a movie night

• keith: lance i am not watching a cheesy romcom for the 2nd week in a row

• lance: i have to listen to ‘welcome to the black parade’ eighteen times a day sit the fuck down

• keith, crossed arm for the duration of movie night: this love story is completely unrealistic

• everybody shushes him on cue

• they also have monthly sleepovers in the living room where they giggle like middle schoolers

• keith knocks over an entire bowl of popcorn

• allura discovers the concept of a pillow fight and effortlessly knocks everybody to the ground

• lance flops on the air mattress and launches pidge across the room

• while everyone is trying to sleep

• lance: guys guys i’m gonna say something

• lance:

• lance: mayonnaise

• everybody loses their shit laughing because it’s 2 in the morning and they’re sleep deprived

• the bathroom sink is a mess

• their toothbrushes are color coordinated

• since they have to fit so much shit on the sink they have specific spots where they put their stuff

• pidge: hunk, your toothbrush is in my spot

• hunk: what? no- this corner of the sink is mine

• the debate results in all of them crowded in the bathroom arguing for 10 minutes

• keith: i don’t even remember having a designated spot on the sink

• allura: we need a toothbrush holder

• sometimes they do their nightly routines together

• which is also chaotic

• lance is applying a face mask, which drips onto pidge’s arm

• pidge then jerks her arm away- hitting keith’s toothbrush

• it then catapults off the counter and sticks to the wall

• keith: i left the room for one second what the hell did you do

• i’ve seen this headcannon somewhere before and i love it so i’m elaborating

• whenever keith is tired he’s giddy and hyper and loopy

• keith after not having a good nights sleep for 3 weeks, getting a running start and flipping onto the couch: a woop

• pidge: what in fucks name are you doing

• lance is the same exact way when he’s tired so they act like complete and utter idiots

• keith: lance, hey lance guess what

• lance: what

• keith:

• lance:

• they both burst out laughing

• lance: keith, omg you know what- keith rhymes with teeth

• keith:

• keith: holy shit

• eventually they both burn out and are just exhausted

• lance with his face planted in the carpet: uuuggghghggg

• allura: you finally done?

• lance: *angry muffled grumbling*

• pidge tends to fall asleep anywhere in the house

• usually with her computer on her lap or nearby

• she’s usually discovered the next morning

• hunk walking into the kitchen, sleepily rubbing his eyes: kinda want some orange juice

• pidge is just asleep on top of the fridge

• everyone else eating breakfast at the table

• keith: has anyone seen pidge?

• soft snoring is heard from under the table

• keith: ah

• they just put up with each other’s bullshit all day everyday and i love it

• lance, slamming his bedroom door open: everyone in my room i had a nightmare and need affection

• everyone emerges from their rooms grumbling and all file into lance room with their pillows and stuffed animals

• pidge trying to keep the remote away from lance: go long, hunk!

• keith appearing in the doorway and getting hit straight in the forehead with a remote: fUCK

• lance: are those my socks?

• keith: huh? oh, i dunno they were in my laundry pile

• lance: no those are totally my socks give them back right now

• when they all moved in together it was before keith and lance started dating so obviously there was shipping

• pidge, bursting into hunk’s room: i have klance tea

• hunk: spill

• lance: wh- keith and i are NOT dating

• pidge: you guys literally live together!

• lance: WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER

• allura, to hunk during dinner: i don’t know about you, but it seems to me like keith has a thing for lance

• keith: princess you’re not even whispering we can all hear you

• keith and lance secretly holding hands under the dinner table while lance is telling a story

• lance, being dramatic and expressive, lifts his hands in the air to accidentally reveal that his hand is intertwined with keith’s and its immediate chaos

• keith letting go immediately: wH HUH HOW DID THAT GET THERE

• pidge: I FUCKING TOLD YOU

anywayyy that’s all

i literally love this so much so don’t be surprised if i come up with some more later

yeah

bye

[superhero--imagines]

Etsy Store Here l Ko-Fi l Commission Info I Instagram I Zine

- So like- you guys have seen those good review videos on snapchat right?

- Where these public figures will try trendy food and rate it

- So Atsumu is there as a popular volleyball player, known for having a loud charismatic personality

- And you’re there too

- You can decide what it’s for: maybe you’re an up and coming writer promoting your book, a content creator on social media, a noteworthy chef, whatever-

- You’re both sitting side by side

- You’re Introducing yourself when Atsumu gets a whiff of you

- You smell good- you can decide what it is, maybe your perfume/cologne, or your shampoo

- Whatever it is it makes Atsumu feel like he’s drunk

- All lightheaded with a flush creeping up his neck

- It’s attraction at first sniff

- When he gets past the smell and takes a look at you, well dang you’ve kinda got a cute face huh?

- Maybe not something as flashy as the models/athletes he see’s

- It’s something gentler

- You’re still cute though

- You on the other hand-

- You look calm

- But I promise your soul has left your body and it is currently on another plane of existence SCREAMING INTO THE VOID

- You knew an athlete was going to be doing this with you

- But you didn’t think it was THE ATSUMU MIYA

- you’re a huge fan

- Would it be unprofessional to ask him to autograph something for you?

- Before either of you can mess up this feeble attraction you have (you with your fangirling and him with his bad pick up lines) they bring out the first thing you guys are trying

- “Oh, it looks like one of those grain bowls!” You say

- Atsumu nods next to you

- “I see some mixed grains-“

- “A lot of olives and tomatoes”

- “There are two dressings!” Cue Atsumu making the Pikachu meme face

- Lololol

- “I’m struggling to mix it tbh” you confess and Atsumu nods beside you

- “Oh I gotta great idea!”

- He makes a little well in the middle of his plastic bowl, puts both his dressing in there, closes the lid, and shakes it.

- While he’s shaking it, the bowl slips from his fingers and flies across the room, landing on the floor and spilling everywhere

- You both look at it, and then at the crew

- “Y’all wouldn’t happen to have another one?”

- You end up having to share yours with him

- “It’s good!” You say, but your eyebrows are threaded and your expression says otherwise

- Atsumu gives you a skeptical expression

- “I mean- it’s not bad it’s just-“

- “It’s hella bland” Atsumu finishes and you nod

- “Yeah they’re really giving us nothing here”

- “It needs some acid, y’all wouldn’t happen to have hot sauce would ya” Atsumu asks

- And to his surprise, your hand dips into your bag and you pull out a bottle of hot sauce

- You put it on your portion before offering it to him

- “So does everyone carry hot sauce in their bag now?” He asks, half teasing and you shake your head

- “Nah, just me and Beyoncé”

- Atsumu laughs

- The verdict?

- “It’s good with the hot sauce,” Atsumu says in between bites

- “It was better with the hot sauce” you nod in agreement

- “Also, that was a lot of food! I couldn’t finish my half, so I feel like it’s a really good quantity”

- You look over to Atsumu who’s polished his portion

- “Unless you’re Atsumu,” you say with a giggle

- “Unless your me,” he says with a grin

- You guys are really vibing tbh, and the crew picks up on it too

- It’s always cool when the guests are good to work with, it makes everyone happy

- The next thing they bring out is a matcha latte

- “Oooo I like that foam on top”

- Atsumu stirs his drink getting the matcha evenly in it

- “They have that lid on top to sip from, that’s how you know they charged you too much for this drink” Atsumu jokes and you laugh

- You got a cute laugh, he thinks

- A smirks curling on his lips but it promptly disappears the second he takes a sip

- “Oh that’s terrible”

- “It’s really bad”

- You’re gagging

- “I didn’t think they could make matcha this bad”

- “They literally charged y’all $15 to give ya grass in a cup with some coconut milk huh?”

- Verdict

- “No”

- “Never”

- While the crew is getting you ready for the next course you guys chat a little

- “So you guys have a game next week right?” Atsumu perks up at that

- Ah so you’re a fan?

- Well that helps his odds

- “Yeah, it’s supposed to be a tough one.”

- “I like your odds though” and it’s true you think their odds are super good, they’ve got Bokuto and Hinata after all

- Plus they’ve all got really good communication with each other

- “Well maybe ya can stop by at my next game and see the outcome for ya self”

- Atsumu’s not joking he’s being serious

- But before you can say anything it’s time to film again

- The last thing you guys try is a three-tier cake

- “It looks pretty,” you say, it’s layers of cream with a nice thick layer of strawberry in the middle

- “ ‘s not enough jam” Atsumu appraises

- “Big strawberry fan?” You ask and Atsumu shrugs

- Normally he’d say something like ‘let me take to dinner and then you can find out

- But he doesn’t wanna put you on the spot on camera so he shrugs

- “I’d rather have fruit than cake ya feel?”

- You nod

- “Fruit, nature’s candy,” you say with a very serious expression

- Atsumu laughs so hard he cries

- You both take a hesitant bite

- After all, that matcha latte looked good too

- “Bruuuuuh,” He says immediately after

- “Can we get another slice?” You ask between bites

- “Is it soaked in something?”

- “I think it’s like a cream?”

- “The cake is soaked in a cream liquor,” the crewman behind the camera tells you

- “I don’t even care that I’m not supposed to have alcohol,” Atsumu says shoving cake into his mouth

- “It’s so good!”

- Verdict

- “We ate too much, and ... it’s somehow hard to breathe?” You’re slumped back in your chair and Atsumu is in a similar state

- “It’s all that sugar” he shakes his head

- “Worth it though”

- “Oh one hundred percent”

- And that’s a wrap

- “It was really fun working with you guys!”

- The producer shakes your hand and you tell him it was a pleasure to work with him as well

- “Yeah, it’s always nice having happy couples in y’know? Always brings a good vibe to the space”

- Atsumu doesn’t miss the way you turn bright red

- “O-oh no we’re not a couple!”

- You with the great Atsumu Miya? No way

- You’d probably faint if he tried to hold your hand

- The producer gives you a confused expression

- “Oh? Well then maybe you should be”

- You don’t miss the devilish smile on their face as they walk away leaving a short-circuiting (Y/N) and A grinning Atsumu

- You turn to him, hoping to see him in a similar state

- But he’s just grinning at you

- “Well ya heard them, let’s go get some coffee to make up for that crappy one”

- You’re just blindly following him wondering if this is a prank or a dream

- “I know a place that has an actual good matcha latte, if ya like those that is”

- And you’re standing on the edge

- You could easily tell him no you don’t like matcha lattes at all, or that you have somewhere else to be

- You can just walk away

- But when you look into those bright brown eyes the words rumble right out

- “I would love that”

Bonus:

- “Hey ‘Sumu,” he shifts beside you, the arm that’s sling over your shoulder shifting slightly

- “They invited us back to the show,” you say showing him the email you got

- “That producer did say they like couples,” he says with a grin, squeezing your shoulder

- “As long as we don’t have to drink that matcha latte again”

[mythiccheroacademia]

Hi!! I don’t know if you’re doing requests rn but can you do a scenario with Kirishima, midoriya, Bakugou and todoroki learning dance moves with their s/o?? (The woah, milly rock, driving the boat, etc.)

 GIRRLLLLLLL 

my first ask!!!! ayyeeeeee, what it do babyyyyy

k, i’m done but thank you sm for asking! and for future reference, i’m open for scenarios/imagines/anything lmao

i hope you like it! 

Characters: Kirishima, Midoryia, Bakugo, and Todorkoki

Warnings: a serious case of fucking it up (ass throwing as well??)

PG-13 

y’all, i couldn’t help myself hehe

A/N: the gag is, i was literally just turning up to my good sis Megan Thee Stallion and Rico Nasty so this should be fun

Kirishima Eijrou:

the best hype man and dont @ me on it

It was after hours and, outside of U.A., the night was quite peaceful, for the most part. Most were tucked in their bed, fast asleep, but some of the young future heroes of Japan were wide awake. That included you and Kirishima. 

You spent the night showing him some of your favorite Western music videos. He recognized some of the long-time globally famous ones like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, and Rihanna (who you both had a crush on). You had tried showing him the moves to Single Ladies and Super Bass, but he couldn’t quite get. 

“C’monnn, just jut your hip out more,” he laughed.

Kirishima made a face before dramatically sticking his hind up. You punched his arm to which he broke out in laughter. 

“Ahh, I’m just hopeless,” he shrugged.

You rolled your eyes. “No, no! You got the shoot, but you have to know more. There’s gotta be something.”

“What about him?”

You looked at the video suggestion he motioned towards, and your brows shot up in excitement.

“DaBaby! Of course!”

“DaBaby?”

“I’m about to change your life.”

It only took one watch for Kirishima to pick up on the DaBaby shoulder, BOP dance, and fist pound. He was a natural and went hard on it. 

*and his muscles looked real nice all flexed like that but that’s besides the point~* 

You two spent the late hours running through all his Albums and EPs, dancing and hyping one another up. It was so fun that you two ended up having to take a shower because of how sweaty y’all were. 

The fist to thigh pound was now you two’s celebratory dance each time one of you made an accomplishment.

You both passed a test?

DaBaby.

Won a team competition?

DaBaby.

Made it through a battle alive?

DaBaby.

Midoryia Izuku:

i’m sorry but it’s like cannon this boi cant dance, but bless his heart, he really tries

You should’ve just sat down and ate your food, but, of course, you didn’t care about priorities when it came to tiktok. (just bear with me y’all)

It was an unhealthy obsession you wouldn’t admit to. You spent hours on it. Ochako had gotten you hooked on after she kept sending you tiktok dances to learn with the girls. It was fun though, especially since dancing was something you loved to do. You still kept up with your grades, so there wasn’t much harm in it.

But then, you made a mistake.

You were eating lunch with your boyfriend and watching a tiktok Momo had sent in your groupchat. The two girls in the video were dancing before they hit the woah on the beat drop. 

Izuku heard the music and looked over at what you were watching. 

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s these two girls dancing. They’re really good!”

You showed him the video and it was like he’s found his life’s purpose.

“W-what was that? At the end!?” 

“Uhh, it’s called the woah?”

“Do you know how to do it?”

“Yeah–”

“Teach me!”

So you spent the lunch period teaching him the move. It wasn’t very complicated, but you found that he had no sense of rhythm and flow. It took a couple YouTube tutorials and then some for him to decently grasp the concept. When lunch was over, he kissed and hugged you like you were his savior.

“Thank you for showing me! I must show the others!”

You were so confused.

But you didn’t know you created a monster.

That is ALL this man does now!

You’ll see him in the mornings. “Hey Izuku!”

“Hey y/n!” 

Hits the woah.

He answers a question correctly?

Hits the woah.

He answers a question incorrectly?

Hits the woah.

Beats Bakugo in a competiton.

Hits the woah.

Bakugo did not appreciate that. 

He downloaded tiktok and 80% of the videos are of him and/or someone else hitting the woah.

All Might has asked you if your boyfriend is going through something. You just pinch your nose. 

Bakugo Katsuki:

won’t outwardly admit to knowing how to dance, but when the time comes, he’s ready for anything

also! i’m inlcuding african moves in this one, hope you dont mind

Sometimes, when you two aren’t doing anything in particular, you’ll try and teach him some moves. He’ll usually sneer about not wanting to learn and how dumb it was. You fake cry and he begrudgingly does it (bc when you cry he panics)

There are multiple snapchat videos of you putting on Shatte Wale or EL (Lomi) and you two doing the shaku shaku or azonto. You were surprised when he picked up other moves like dougie, lean back, and jerkin. 

The music was blasting in his room and you two were following the Walk It Out music video, dancing, copying what you could and just having fun with one another. At first, Bakugo was a bit stiff, embarrassed that he was even indulging in something like this, but he saw the happy look on your face and set a tiny bit of his pride aside.

Plus, you were actually kinda good and he wasn’t gonna let you show him up on something he knew he was good at. 

“Ayyee, okay Bakugo! You kinda lit!” you cheered.

The genuine praise made him blush. “I don’t know what you thought this was, but of course I can dance, idiot!” he exclaimed, trying to fight his sudden embarrassment with how into it he was getting. 

You laughed at him and he was about to cuss you out until you gasped.

Suddenly, your favorite song by Saweetie came on and your face fell into all seriousness as you broke out in dance. He sputtered when you sensually moved your body over to him, taking his hand and turning so your body so your back was to him. 

“Well if you’re so good, why don’t you prove it,” you challenged. 

He was confused until you circled your hips and he automatically followed your lead. Bakugo’s prior bashfulness left him and a proud grin spread across his lips, eyes half-lidded with desire. 

“Oh, bet.”

You bent forwards, hands on your knees as you threw it back on him–and he caught it just fine. This was his kind of dancing. He was a beast in clubs. (ofc you’re 18+). 

It wasn’t like it was anything new to him. You two have had many many opportunities to practice. 

When “Red Nose” came on, it was over. 

Well, the dancing was over~

Todoroki Shoto:

hits the meanest milly rock and you cant convince me otherwise

*youre in an American club for this one and you all are most certainly 21+*

You two were overseas for a vacation. Well, it was supposed to be a trip for a business convention, and he was going as the next heir to his father’s company, but who wouldn’t use this as a getaway?

Plus, a chance to show your boyfriend where you come from?

And on Endeavor’s dime? Say less. 

You were going out to a club downtown with your Shoto and your friends and their partners. It would be a nice de-stressor for the long day you and Todoroki had handling business. 

At first, Todoroki was a bit hesitant. You offered to have a dance practice, but he softly declined. He wasn’t one to go out and you didn’t push it.

But then he saw you in that tight outfit, the one that makes your ass pop, and he grabbed the keys before you could. 

The sooner you went, the sooner y’all could get back home for the real party.

Anyway–

At first, you two are just standing and talking, enjoying one another’s company. You’re a bit tipsy when you’re friends drag you onto the dance floor and you let loose. Todoroki’s watching you with a soft smile and then talking to your friends’ partners before they prompt him to take a couple shots. 

He might be one of the fiercest heroes in Japan, but mans can’t hold his liquor.

He sees you dancing and can’t help but miss the way your body feels in his hands. You both make eye contact and he’s suddenly making a b-line for you.

*Big Ole’ Freak by Megan Thee Stallion begins*

Todoroki is working his hardest to catch all the ass you’re throwing, using his hands and the support from the people behind him. He won’t let his good sis Todoroki Tina down. 

He’s pretty damn good at catching.

Y’all are sin on the floor. So much so that your friends are HOLLERING. 

“FUCK IT UP Y/N!!!”

“LET’S GOOOO SHOTO”

“CATCH THAT ASS, BRO!!”

“BITTTCHHH!!!”

*Cue Pour It Up by Rihanna*

The music changes, and suddenly, both of you are facing each other, hittin’ the folks and slowing down the nae nae. Nasty Freestyle by T-Wayne comes on, and you guys are the center of attention.

Let me tell you…it was perfection.

The City Girls came on and Todoroki amps it up—you rapping the lyrics as he dances. (He loves the City Girls as much as he does Meg and hopes a woman scams his dad like that)

But you even lose your shit when Shoto starts to milly rock. He’s got the entire club hyping him up. 

The next day, you both are watching videos from last night. Your brows shot up in surprise at how natural he was. You both were kinda shook.

“I’ve never seen you dance a day in your life. Where did this come from?” you asked, a genuine pitch in your tone.

Shoto was just as clueless as you. 

“I have no idea.”

[thecosmicsen]

♦️ for jae & tae :D

𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 ♦️ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒 with  @f8less​  +   ALWAYS ACCEPTING  !

SHENANIGANS GO LIKE . . . 

Tae is immediately on Jaewoo’s good side because he is 1cm shorter than Jaewoo and not some ungodly tall looking thing because Jaewoo heart always crumbles at the sight of super tall guys.  but someone who is shorter than him,  even if by a centimetre,  Jaewoo is instantly endeared towards him.  they are best friends already.  

they’ve met before.  countless times even.  there were many occasions in Jaewoo’s time spent alive where he narrowly missed harrow encountered the kiss of death but slipped away from it in brute determination to survive for his family.  during those times,  Tae was probably lurking in the shadows and waiting for his time to blink to its end but it doesn’t.  

although Tae may be familiar with such people who somehow keep surviving even when on the brink of death,  he probably questions why Jaewoo has so much willpower to grit his teeth so he decides to delve deep into his subconscious by penetrating Jaewoo’s dreams.  if he’s feeling nice,  he will turn Jaewoo’s nightmares of being relentlessly chased and engulfed whole by a dark mysterious perpetrator by providing a sweet ending where Jaewoo stumbles into an open field of dotted daisies and basking sunlight where the saccharine fresh scent of nature overwhelms him.  but if Tae is feeling chaotic and wants to escalate the nightmares,  he becomes the cause of Jaewoo losing sleep and becoming a chronic insomniac.  the mysterious perpetrator eventually catches up to him and pins him down on the floor.  the mask is lifted up.  it’s a contorted face of his brother with his face being eaten alive by maggots.  

when Jaewoo finally dies,  Tae would have the chance to potentially meet him to accompany him to his death to pass to the over side.  but that process is sharply halted.  God denies the permission of Jaewoo crossing that bridge with him.  everything goes to black.  Jaewoo is no longer seen near the bridge.  

years later,  after his death,  they reunite  (  unbeknownst to Jaewoo  ).  could be in their mutual @phantombs​ Cường’s shop in which Tae would walk in to see Jaewoo floating mid air and jiving around to Beyoncé’s formation whilst Cường busies himself in his remedying concoction processes.  or it was an entirely different chance encounter in which Tae is lurking behind his next victim of death who is desperately trying to summon Jaewoo in the toilets to avoid being whisked off this earth.  cue a plausible conflict.  Jaewoo is like yeah sure I can extend your life but whose life will you shorten in return?  then Tae feeling a little chaotic steps in like BOY YOU THOUGHT WRONG and they bicker.

they are best buds though.  Jaewoo comes to him for fashion advice since Tae has a flair for extravagant but well put together immaculate pieces so they go on shopping trips because Jaewoo is like I’m going on a date with my hot vampire gf and I wanna look groomed and well-dressed like you  !!!

Jaewoo finds out about Tae being an escort and he’s just like ok but why would you do that when you can be a fashion designer and get all the attention for your ego.  but watch Jaewoo feeling like a prankster and interrupting Tae on escorting duty.

[profoundnet]

Header by @cryptomoon and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord server!

The masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in their entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR JUNE 2020!

Featuring works by @blueraven06, @castielslostwings, @delo0821, galium, @goldenraeofsun, @imbiowaresbitch, @jemariel, @masterofevilmonkeyness, @multifandom-fanatic, ravens_tell_stories, @saywhatjessie, @shadowkat-83, shikaro, @spnsmile, tiamatv, @thefandomsinhalor, @vulfmert, and @wookieefucker under the cut.

Redamber79 - @imbiowaresbitch - Redamber79

Free Hugs (E, 2.6k)

Castiel is moving into his dorm for his first year when his older brother Gabriel trips him into the arms of a half-naked hunk holding a sign reading FREE HUGS. Then Cas meets his roommate...

Tags: No Archive Warnings apply, meet-cute, explicit, roommate AU

The Fall of Castiel (E, 5.8k)

Another fight, Castiel's blue eyes flashing as he pinned Dean to a wall for his stubborn refusal to accept his role. A desperate attempt to convince the angel to join Team Free Will. Dean could never have anticipated how well it would work.

Tags: no archive warnings, explicit, canon-adjacent, wing king, grace powered orgasms, claiming, confessions

“Yes, Sir.” (E, 3.8k)

Dean's earned himself a spanking, but keeps losing the count. Cas decides it's time to up the ante for his punishment.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, bdsm, explicit, safe sane consensual, safewords, top cas/bottom dean

Pizza Man (E, 3.4k)

Dean and Castiel are roommates in their third year of college. Cas frantically shows his best friend a horrible typo on the latest ad for the pizza place where he works, just knowing it's going to ruin his night.

Tags: no archive warnings apply, roommates au, explicit, PWP

Grow For Me (E, 20k)

Dean is desperate for a housemate after Charlie moves out. After interviewing several potential tenants with near disastrous results, he meets Cas. Can the lawyer with the strange habit of talking to plants fit into Dean's life?

Tags: no archive warnings apply, omegaverse, POV Dean, explicit, Roommate AU, Complete, Happy Ending, mating cycles/in heat

FriendofCarlotta - @delo0821 - FriendofCarlotta

Adventures in Demon Summoning (E, 10k)

When Dean's friends get high and decide to summon a demon, it seems like a monumentally bad idea. Of course, even Dean couldn't have guessed that the whole thing would land him with a grumpy, sarcastic angel who seems dead-set on following him around.

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, Meet-Cute, Soft Boys

JessJesstheBest - @saywhatjessie - JessJesstheBest

Five Times Dean felt Out Of His Depth and One Time He Definitely Was (G, 10k)

It was with a sore shin and a broken model P-51D Mustang that Dean began to consider he wasn’t quite ready to be a foster parent. Or it's exactly what is says in the title.

Tags: Human AU, Fluff, Parenthood, foster parent au, Established Relationship, 5+1 Things

castielslostwings - @castielslostwings - Castielslostwings

Fire and Ice (E, 165k)

Firefighter Dean Winchester has somehow tumbled headfirst into a whole new kind of relationship with his quirky paramedic best friend, Castiel Novak. What was only meant to be mutual relief from their high-stress jobs is quickly developing into something more, but with all the missed signals and crossed wires, can these two ever figure out that they're so much closer to being on the same page than they think?

Tags: Firefighter Dean, Paramedic Castiel, Dom Castiel, Sub Dean, Friends to lovers, mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, BDSM, all the sex.

multifandom-fanatic - @multifandom-fanatic - multifandom_fanatic

We Can’t Keep This Undercover (T, 5k)

Cas and Dean have been dating for a month, but Sam is clueless, despite the fact that they haven't been hiding that they're together. Or so they thought. After reflecting on Sam's obliviousness, Dean deviously suggests he and Cas try to be as obvious as possible to see how long it’ll take for Sam to realize. Cue Dean and Cas' escalating attempts to prove they're together, and Sam mistaking every scenario until Dean just can't take it anymore.

Tags: Oblivious Sam Winchester, Clueless Sam Winchester, Fluff, Feels, Teasing, Idiots in Love, Sneaky, Flirting, Domestic Fluff, Plotting

Put a Ring on It (T, 3.2k)

After non-stop researching, Cas is in the Bunker's kitchen making Dean lunch with the radio on when he hears Single Ladies by Beyoncé. Suddenly he's stuck by the lyrics and realizes just how much he loves Dean and therefore needs to put a ring on him. Cas goes out and buys a ring, and a week later he proposes to Dean in the library of the Bunker. Will Dean say yes?

Tags: Marriage Proposal, Proposal, Engagement, Castiel Proposes Marriage to Dean Winchester, Inspired by Beyoncé, Crack, Song: Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It), Romantic Fluff, Love, Fluff

galium - galium

scents & sensibility (M, 5.7k)

There are three things Dean knows about betas: (1) Betas are boring. (2) Betas can be passive. (3) Betas have a mediocre sense of smell (well, unless you're Cas).

Tags: AU, A/B/O

ravens_tell_stories - ravens_tell_stories

i’d rather drown (E, 3.7k)

Was there anything weird that you noticed?” “Weird? Other than the fact that I could see you while you were several states away?” “Yes, Dean,” Cas sounds impatient now, which is never a good sign. “Weirder than normal.” Dean tilts his head, weighing his options, then sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “Yeah, I, uh… I could see your wings.” ~~ wing!kink destiel oneshot.

Tags: No archive warnings apply, smut and a little fluff, pwp, handjobs, set season 8

Jemariel - @jemariel - jemariel

Cas is a Tummy Sleeper (T, <1k)

A short fluffy ficlet. Cas is sleepy and snuggly. Dean is smitten. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.

Tags: Cuddles, bedsharing, human!Cas, fluff

MasterOfEvilMonkeyness - @masterofevilmonkeyness

“Ah yes. Me. My brother. And his Angel who sneaks in his bed when they think I’m asleep” (SFW)

Art created for Meme about Sam, Dean and Cas.

Vulfmert - @vulfmert

Ghost Road (SFW)

Art created for the fic Ghost Road by Kris-Kenobi in the Bottom Dean Big Bang and it’s lovely.

Tags: Michigan, Canon Compliant, Human!Cas, Only One Bed, Case Fic, Post Series. Collaboration with fic by Kris-Kenobi.

spnsmile - @spnsmile - spnsmile

Undercover in the Bunker (M, 3.5k)

Castiel invites an angel to the Bunker to 'observe' the Winchesters in order to change Heaven's view about his charge, only to end up making Dean just a little miserable and himself a little jealous.

Tags: Domestics,  Castiel in the Bunker

Devastatingly Yours (G, 3.9k)

When almost everyone—demons included— all but told Dean that his angel is the hottest, most devastatingly handsome angel in the face of the seven seas, he not only believed them, he’s secretly and most exclusively Cas’ number one fan. So when the angel is recruited as a model in the middle of a case, what is Dean to do?

Tags: Established relationships, domestic, fluff

Saved by a Stranger (E, 43k)

Rule One: Never change the deal. Rule Two: No names. Rule Three: Never look in the package. Ex-Special Forces operator, Alpha Castiel Novak adheres three strict sets of rules, which he never breaks as a mercenary "transporter" who moves goods—human or otherwise— from one place to another. No questions asked. Until his new delivery contains a deal-breaker pretty face hot-headed Omega—who turns out to be his true mate— Castiel knows rules have to be changed especially with a dangerous group intent to get their hands on his Omega. Castiel wants to see them try. Destiel x The Transporter AU

Tags: Non-con,  Graphic Depiction of violence

The Room Service (E, 39k)

‘Hands off, Pants on!’

Dean Winchester has groomed himself to be a professional room service staff providing hotel guests with all the necessities they need while catering to all mundane whims and complaints except one: keep hands off the staff. Until a mysterious blue-eyed guy enters the 7th heaven floor and shakes Dean’s steamy dreams. And after saving Dean from one dangerous stalker, it seems like the restriction is practically flying off the window for his grumpy blue-eyed hero.

Hotel x Destiel AU

Tags: Romance,  Fluff,  First meeting,  Jealousy,

Baby Plushie (G, 1.1k)

A Baby. Who says Dean doesn't need it?

Tags: Romance,  Fluff. Inspired by art by @gabester-sketch.

Shadowkat83 - @shadowkat-83 - Shadowkat83

Better Than I Know Myself (T, 1.1k)

He had to make a choice; he didn't want to. The choice was between the two people he cared about the most: Cas and Sam. They both knew him so well but on different levels. How could he possibly go through with this?

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Songfic, Fluff, Love, Confessions, Mutual Pining, Ambiguous/Open Ending

Shikaro - shikaro

Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome (E, 1.5k)

the one where Dean comes untouched for the first time

or the one where they meet at a bar

Tags: PWP

blueraven06 - @blueraven06 - blueraven06

College days (G, 1.2k)

It's Castiel's first day of college and he is already late.

Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Magic Quarantine Ride (M, 1k)

“Cas,” Dean growls as he stalks past the hospital's general information desk. “What the hell are you doing here, you psycho? Go home - where it’s safe!” Cas whirls around. “You forgot this,” he says hurriedly as he rushes forward with the necklace he made for Dean. “I told you, it will provide protection.” He waves it in the air like a crazy person trying to ward off demons. “You are insane,” Dean says flatly.

Tags: They were quarantined, witch!cas, college nurse!dean, fluff and angst, mentions of COVID-19, mutual pining, emotional hurt/comfort, discussions of PTSD

thefandomsinhalor - @thefandomsinhalor - thefandomsinhalor

A Driver Worth His Salt (E, 68k)

Twenty-year-old Dean Winchester hates fixing up stolen cars on the side for Gordon Walker. But with his grandfather’s dry-cleaning business slowly dying, medical bills piling up, and his younger brother Sam abandoning the prospect of attending college because of their grim situation, Dean convinces himself that it isn’t as reckless as it seems.

When everything goes belly up, leaving him in a troubling position with the wrong people, a representative of the Garrisons, the city’s most powerful and notorious family, offers Dean to help him with his situation in exchange for his employment.

The job is simple: drive the passenger a few times a week to yet-undisclosed locations and return with said passenger without fail. Don’t ask questions. Be on time. Be discreet.

And never interact with each other outside of work.

Shady, but simple.

So, he accepts.

But once he meets the passenger in question—the sharply dressed and rough-looking Castiel Novak—Dean finds that abiding those rules may be more complicated than he had anticipated.

Tags: Graphic Depiction of Violence, Alternate Universe - Modern Settings, Crimes & Crimes & Criminals, BAMF Castiel, Slow Burn, Hurt Sam Winchester, Trauma

wookieefucker - @wookieefucker - wookieefucker

The Eye of the Storm (T, 8.5k)

“Only fifteen miles to the highway,” Dean said cheerfully, reading from a sign on the side of the path. Bobby groaned loudly. “Shoulda known I’d get my body back only to put it through its paces right away.” Amara left with Chuck, promising that she was going to give Dean what he needed. Maybe what he needed was different than her first impulse.

Tags: eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, season 12 AU, canon AU, canon-typical violence

tiamatv - tiamatv

Spicier Ginger (G, 4k)

Kevin held out a flat piece of dough and spooned in a teaspoon of pork mixture. “You can’t put too much in them or leave any air bubbles inside," he explained, folding up the dumpling. "‘Cause they’ll explode.” “So kind of like packing shotgun shells,” Dean joked. “Uh, yeah. Sure, Dean,” Kevin agreed, very dubiously. “Sure.”

Tags: Cooking, Domesticity, Kevin Tran Lives!, Winchester Family Fluff

To Sleep, Perchance (T, 3.4k)

Dean wasn’t used to good dreams. But he was used to taking what he could get—so when he dreamed of a lean, compact body pressed against his back, an arm heavy over his waist, he settled into it, hazy and comfortable.

Tags: Canon Temporary Character Death, Canon Compliant, Dreams vs Reality, Mark of Cain

Ephelis (E, 1.8k)

“I think someone has sent me a picture of their genitals.” Castiel looked down at his phone. “Erect.”

Tags: AU-Canon Divergence, Dick Pics, Plot What Plot, Fluff and Crack, Season/Series 09

Phaleonopsis (E, 4.8k)

“Here, let me.” Cas’s long fingers plucked away a dead leaf from a calathea, and Dean watched helplessly as Cas rubbed the bare spot where the leaf had come away with a fingertip. “See? Isn’t it nice to let someone touch you now and again?” “Goddammit, Cas ain’t the creep, I’m the creep,” Dean muttered, and put his head down on the desk.

Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gardening, Roommates, Fluff And Smut, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean

(Atypical) Love Story (E, 13.k)

“Are you… scenting me?” the man in an oversized beige trench coat asked, suspiciously, in a deep gravel voice that ran down Dean’s spine. "Why? I really don't smell like much." Dean’s mouth sagged open. “Dude,” he answered, honestly, “You smell amazing.” He’d never seen anyone look so shocked at a compliment before. “O-oh.”

Tags: Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics; Scenting; Top/Bottom Versatile Dean/Castiel; Alpha Dean/Omega Castiel; Enthusiastic Consent

Pigment (G, 1.6k)

Dean wasn’t ashamed of what he was doing or anything. He didn’t think he had any reason to be, hell. So what if he liked to spend a little of his downtime just putting little blobs of paint inside neat little lines?

Tags: Canon Compliant, Hobbies, Painting, Fluff

[fictorium]

47 - Supercat (💙)

“Why are you whispering?”

Continuation of this previous ficlet. 

Cat fusses with the ceremonial robe in front of the mirror in Alura’s quarters, frowning that the shade of cream is just a little draining. With a sigh, she slips out of the flowing fabric, draping it over a chair and trying the deep blue instead. It’s a full length equivalent to the Stella McCartney handkerchief hem dress she wore to tell Kara to dive, once upon a time. Only this dress bears the sculpted insignia of the House of El, spoken about on this strange rock of a planet the way Earthlings speak of Beyoncé, Dunkin’ Donuts and royalty combined. 

She turns this way and that, smoothing the material over her hips until it sits just so. Cat gives her reflection a smile. Perfect. For her purposes, anyway. She brought her own heels, so she won’t lose any height to the boring little slippers the locals seem to wear for every occasion.

“Pretty hot, huh?” Whispers a voice from somewhere behind Cat, and she’s not ashamed to admit that she startles. 

“There’s my famous girlfriend,” Cat says, in a far more normal voice. “Been out greeting more adoring fans, Kara Zor-El?”

“Oh, like it’s any worse than every time we use the front entrance at Nobu,” Kara replies, voice still low.

“Why are you whispering? The baby’s asleep.”

“Yeah, but she wakes so easily. It’s almost like she has superhearing. I know she can’t have, here, but it’s kinda nice to have a moment to ourselves.”

“Been missing me?” Cat isn’t really teasing. A part of her would like to hear that Kara is as out of sorts as she is since their daughter came into the world five days ago. 

Kara answers by wrapping her arms around Cat’s waist from behind. She’s in the creamy colored robe, and it reminds Cat of nothing so much as a wedding dress. Soon. Not today, but soon. How strange to be sure of that after swearing off marriage forever about three weddings ago. Cat closes her eyes and leans back, savoring the moment which only improves as Kara presses soft kisses to her neck. 

“We still have a half hour until the ceremony begins,” Kara says, letting her voice rise just a little. There’s promise in her tone. “So that’s thirty minutes to...”

Cat turns in her embrace.

“Finally settle on a name? Because a naming ceremony without one is going to be tricky. I might not be au fait with the local customs, but I feel like there’s a big clue in the title there.”

“I was going to say make out, you spoilsport.”

“Tempting. And actually, no reason we can’t do both. I didn’t build a media empire without multitasking.”

“I still vote for Cat Grant Jr.,” Kara says, before stealing a kiss. “Let the world know what they’re in for.”

“I don’t think the Council members with their list of suggestions would be too impressed,” Cat replies, although she preens just a little. “But you’re right, let’s wait for deadline adrenaline to inspire us in the last five minutes. In the meantime...”

Right on cue, their unnamed daughter started to sniffle in her crib.

“You were saying?” Kara whispered again.

“Just wait.” Cat held up a finger. Sure enough, the baby settled down again. “Crisis averted. Now come here. Let’s see if we can’t crease this fancy robe fabric you Kryptonians like so much, hmm?”

“Good idea.”

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift is free. Free to say whatever the hell she wants, even if it pisses off some of the record-buying public, her parents, and the president. (Especially the president.) Free to stand up for causes she believes in, like gay rights. Free to not let the ravenous, snickering, snarky beast we call “the internet” get her down. Free to own up to what she feels are her deficiencies, hypocrisies, and examples of unhealthy behavior (mentally and physically), and to try being a better version of herself. Free to no longer be the 13-year-old with the Disney-princess blond curls living for applause, or the 19-year-old who made sure she didn’t rock country music’s boat, or the twentysomething who felt she had to smile for the camera when she didn’t feel like it. Free to not be “Taylor Swift,” a persona of both the industry’s and her own making, but just be Taylor Swift, the singer-songwriter-insanely-famous-person who occasionally likes to lounge in her pajamas, play with her cats, and drink white wine with ice cubes.

This is the takeaway from Miss Americana, Lana Wilson’s chronicle of a particularly tumultuous period in T-Swift’s life, and there’s the sense that you’re watching someone finally get to the point where she can, to quote the woman herself, “take the muzzle off.” Consequences be damned. It’s designed to look less like a comeback victory lap than a coming out of sorts, a behind-the-scenes psychodrama that ends with an empowered phoenix rising from the ashes.

It’s also very much a typical modern-pop-star-confidential documentary, the kind that takes its cues from Madonna: Truth or Dare and “reveals” just enough vulnerability, messiness, and shouting matches to not fuck with the brand or feel too stiflingly stage-managed. (See also: Katy Perry: Part of Me; Gaga: Five Foot Two; Beyoncé: Life Is But a Dream.) There’s the paradox. The movie’s aiming for raw, intimate, authentic — all words Swift used after she walked out onstage at the film’s Sundance opening-night premiere to a standing ovation. The result is definitely honest but just north of overly cautious. You wouldn’t call it unfiltered by a long shot. It’s a peek behind the curtains that knows when to subtly, slyly slip the blinders on.

Access is, of course, what you come to these movies for — who wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall of the 24/7 Taylor Express? And access is what Miss Americana gives you, even if you’re steered away from some of the narratives she’d like you to be excluded from. You get to see her on planes, in living rooms, giving manicures (“Give me a good review on Yelp,” she says while painting a friend’s nails). You hang out with her in the studio, recording Lover and sharing burritos with producer Joel Little, and watch her creative process happen in real time. Jack Antonoff and Brendan Urie drop by; the two share exasperation over rabid fans and stalkers. She traces her ascension to megastardom via archival clips and awards-show montages, then points out “the view from the mountaintop” after she attained her dreams felt a little existentially lacking. Kanye’s infamous VMA bumrush and the way it shook Swift gets dissected; so does #TaylorSwiftIsOver and her subsequent disappearance from the spotlight.

The big talking point will be Swift opening up about an eating disorder, a genuine confession to the camera that plays against a flipbook of her red-carpet appearances. You don’t need to be a genius or, God help you, a film critic to see the connection between the expectations thrust upon her as a female performer (and a female in general) and the pressure to live up to impossible expectations at the risk of health and sanity. This leads into Miss Americana‘s superior last third, in which Swift becomes radicalized and you feel like you really are watching somebody go through a chrysalis moment. It starts with her showing up in court and winning a lawsuit case against the Colorado DJ who blatantly groped her in 2013. It climaxes with her sending an Instagram supporting Democratic candidates in Nashville during the 2018 midterms — another you-are-there moment that justifies some of the more slogan-heavy recitations about not taking it any longer, etc. “How can I stand onstage and say, ‘Happy Pride Month, everybody!’ and not do anything as people literally come for [the LGBTQ community’s] necks?” she wonders, then puts her platform to use. An argument with her team peaks when someone mentions she stayed silent during the 2016 election. “I’m sad I didn’t come out against Trump, but I can’t do anything about that now,” she admits. The pain in her statement is palpable.

It ends with T-Swift back onstage, looking like “a melted-down disco ball” but still beyond fabulous, ready to show the world her straight-outta-the-cocoon butterfly wings. And when she joined Wilson in front of the Eccles Theater after the film ended, with everyone on their feet and cheering, some folks whooping and others crying, she did seem like a more mature, righteous version of pop royalty. Not even their mutual schoolgirl gushing over each other’s work (Swift asked Wilson to follow her around after seeing her co-directed doc After Tiller) or a truly dead-on-arrival Q&A could dull the feeling that you were looking at someone who was done trying to conform to “good girl” expectations. Miss Americana may not be anywhere as open and gut-spilling as Swift’s duly celebrated lyrics (writing-wise, she’s a strong candidate for the second coming of Joni Mitchell). But as an extremely curated time capsule of a transition, it gets the job done. Don’t expect her Dont Look Back. Be thankful you got her Truth or Dare.

[cherrymction]

kurt x kayla 💕

send me a ship and i’ll tell you... starring kayla and kurt, the dumb & dumber duo!!

where was their first date?: it’s no secret that both of them love drinking, and that’s why their first date was bar hunting - they went to every sigle trashy bar downtown dc. it was not fancy at all; it was rather simple but still very remarkable, just like that one bar they met for the first time. they both wanted the date to have their final touch, and there’s nothing more them in this world then going out for drinks in dirty bars, getting tipsy and then lost on their way back to her place just so they could make out on the couch while some random the weeknd song played softly, putting up the whole mood just for the two of them.

what my muse would do to cheer your’s up: kayla is really talkative, so she’d probably try to get him to talk it out whatever is making him feel dull. she knows how grumpy kurt can get when he has problems or just a lot up his head, so, if he is not up for talking it out, she’d just do whatever he wanted her to. kayla wouldn’t mind making it sexual in a way; actually, she really enjoys it when it’s just to get his mind off something - it’s during these times they try new things, so it’s always fun and surely does help getting him off his thoughts.

who wakes the other up with kisses (and where)?: i see both of them doing it pretty often to be honest, their whipped asses really be showing huh... when she does it though, she is really sentimental about it, like there is something about waking him from peaceful sleep with kisses kayla herself hasn’t figured out yet. she usually kisses his cheeks until he’s up enough to kiss her back when she kisses him down to his lips. also, she likes kissing his neck and chest when he sleeps shirtless or when they’re cuddling close.

who would pour water on the other to wake them up?: i don’t see them doing it often, but eventually... kayla, for sure. and kurt would be pissed about it. in the end it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but it would give her quite a head ache and she’d learn her lesson: never try to recreate that vine when your grumpy boyfriend is sleeping on a hangover.

how my muse would wake your’s up: with all the love she can possibly exhale. kayla finds his sleepy face the most beautiful one, like he puts it up without any effort. those puffy eyes and swollen face make her smile every single time they sleep together. being active during the mornings, it’s always her duty to wake him up, and she does it calmly and slowly, caressing his soft hair and whispering that it’s getting late with a soft tone. when he is down, she brings him a mug of coffee in bed, too.

who would start a food fight while baking or cooking?: i don’t see them doing it, at least not when they’re sober. when high or drunk though, they’d absolutely do it like they’re fighting for their lives, and kayla would start it like she doesn’t have anything to loose. it would be a complete mess, cooking high is never organized and the result is way worse.

who would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies?: “oh my god brittany...!” “you were thinking it!” “i know, but you said it!” intensifies. kurt would bring it up and kayla would give him total support and would help him to do it. she’d still watch it for him though, as weed doesn’t do good with his medicine and could give him a bad trip if overused.

who said i love you first and how (or when) did they say it?: we all know it’s her! kayla would say it first, but wouldn’t rush anything exactly because she knows he’s been put presure on in the past and would feel uncomfy if she did tell him straight ahead. that being said, she’d still tell him first, with a great timing and not making it bad for him in any way.

who would get into a physical altercation over the other?: they wouldn’t do it. never. fights are comon and they don’t see every little detail of life eye to eye, and that’s what relationships are about, but never ever would kayla hurt him in any way, and she knows he wouldn’t do it as well. they’d rather talk it out together than fight senselessly and doing something they’d regret straight across.

who insists on purchasing a pet together (and what kind of pet)?: they don’t have the time to have a pet, actually. kayla really wants a cat or a puppy, maybe, but she knows she wouldn’t be able to give it the attention needed - kurt agrees. i see them having a fish or a rat further on, but not at this moment of their lives.

who is louder (in and out of bed)?: i’d say kayla for both, but kurt is def as vocal as her in bed.

who takes more risks (in and out of bed)?: mister kurt donahue y’all! he is a natural risk taker, we must agree here. kayla isn’t far behind and takes part in every crazy idea he shares with her.

who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first?: deadass? none of them, for god’s sake. kayla would definetely bring it up when joking about his ex, but in bed? never. she isn’t quite sure if she’d like it, and she is much more afraid to say it and figure out she actually likes it, so she prefers not to.

what is their shared, favourite kink?: i think kinks would take a little longer to show in their relationship because they’ve been really bonding and doing everything slowly. they’d do the standart vanilla for a while before getting into business, and it’d still be very slight at first, but that doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy themselves. they’re both into some light spanking and semi public and have been doing it for a while now. they’re still getting to know themselves in that matter, though.

describe their typical kiss: it is passionate, slow and has a lot of feelings in it. they enjoy kissing very much and often have long make out sessions while watching some random rom com movie. they like it slow, like they’ve got all the time in the world - and they really do.

how my muse shows their love for your’s: she’s pretty open about her feelings and catches every single opportunity to say - or show - she loves him indeed. she does it verbally quite regularly, and she likes it the most when they’re cuddling tight late at night , almost asleep. not verbally, she shows him in all little things. it’s all about how she reads every single mood of his, which is a quite hard task, and the way she stares at him with galaxies in her eyes. what gets her every time though is how he responds it right back in his own way.

their favourite ways to give affection: prolly making out. it’s not the kissing itself, but the soft touches that comes in the package alongside with the little confessions mid-kissing and the adrenaline rush. it’s her favorite.

who is more dominate?: once again, mister kurt donahue y’all!

who sings in the shower?: both of them do, but in total different settings. kayla sings those guilty pleasure bops everyone knows by heart every single morning when getting ready to uni, whereas kurt does it before doing to bed, when he sings to kurt music she doesn’t even know the name of the songs.

who washes the other’s hair in the shower?: it depends on their mood, i’d say. when kurt is having an episode, she is the most caring she can be, and that includes washing not only his hair but him as a whole, trying to get him to relax while in the bathtub. she’d also make sure he eats properly and gets sufficient amount of sleep. on the other hand, they shower together every once in a while and that’s when kurt washes her hair like he is a hairdresser. it’s funny and full of laughter, but she loves it.

who initiates shower sex despite being in a rush?: kayla... she is that brat... actually, the rush would just make it even more exciting to her. they’d probably be late for both work and college, but they wouldn’t mind it at all.

who teases the other under the table at dinner with the family?: i see both of them doing it tbh... in different scenarios, though. like the time kurt met her parents and she kept teasing him just because he had his nervous face on.

who has the weirder taste in music?: kurt. it isn’t weird at all tbh, but it’s kinda weird to her, as she grew up literally in beyoncé and britney spears only. even though she likes some of his “kurt music” as she calls it, she loves to tease him about the sad music he likes so much.

who would initiate dancing in the rain?: that’s her cue, miss kayla choi! she’d even sing to selena gomez while doing it.

who would be the one to suggest marriage?: i don’t see them getting married, at least not right now. they don’t want to rush nothing and they really see eye to eye on this one: marriage is not that important for them. as long as they keep growing together side by side, it’s valid. like the great anarchists they are, they wouldn’t do it just because the government want them to do so. they’re kurt and kayla and that’s fine by them.

what would they name their children?: hell, they don’t want kids at all, so no names! kayla isn’t the best dealing with little ones and kurt is a total disaster, so mommy and daddy isn’t a fit for them at this point. they’re also still very young of age, so it’s up to time. by now, she makes sure to take her meds properly and that’s it - pregnancy is off topic.

who would their children take after more?: ele é estéril !

[luvneedsnosyt]

My Selections for GRAMMYS 2020

Continuing what I started last year here’s my reaction to the GRAMMY Nominations with my selections for who I believe should win, and also who I would have picked for each category.

Let me first lay out the ground rules: - I will be following the time frame for eligibility which is October 1st 2018 to September 30th 2019. - I will be ignoring categories for genres I don’t listen to enough. Metal, Country, Classical, Jazz, will be left off. - I am ignoring that the Performance categories are a mixture of recordings and live performances and just treating them as genre specific “Records of the year” awards. The one’s with “Song” in the title are geared more towards the song writing. - I will first make my selection of the available options. Bold and underlines will be my top selection with underlined not bold as my runner up. - I will then make my own selections for each category and who I think should win out of that. - My selection is not just a list of my favorite albums. My selections will be a balancing act taking in account artistic accomplishments, Impact both culturally and popularity as well as what I personally think is good. - I made a few liberties with some of my selections, mostly from the rules for eligibility being vague in spots. - This list is just all my biased suggestions. I’m sure there will be some major differences in opinions with anybody who reads this. - Feel free to shoot me a message to discuss more with me anything you wish to!

Album of the Year:

Ariana Grande - Thank U, Next Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE SO WE GO? Bon Iver - I,I H.E.R. - I Used To Know Her Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rickwell Lil Nas X - 7 Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Vampire Weekend - Father Of The Bride

My Picks: Big Wild - Superdream Jacob Banks - The Village Illenium - ASCEND Khalid - Free Spirit Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Nilfür Yanya - Miss Universe Tyler, The Creator - IGOR

Record of the Year:

Ariana Grande - 7 Rings Billie Eilish - Bad Guy Bon Iver - Hey, Ma H.E.R. - Hard Place Khalid - Talk Lil Nas X - Old Town Road (Feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) Lizzo - Truth Hurts Post Malone & Swae Lee - Sunflower

My Picks: Avicii - SOS (Feat. Aloe Blacc) Bon Iver - Hey Ma Flume - Let You Know (Feat. London Grammer) G Flip - About You Illenium - Good Things Fall Apart (Feat. Jon Bellion) Khalid - Talk Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Taylor Swift - Lover

Song of the Year:

Billie Eilish - Bad Guy H.E.R. - Hard Place Lady Gaga - Always Remember Us This Way Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved Lizzo - Truth Hurts Taylor Swift - Lover Tanya Tucker - Bring Me Flowers Now

My Picks: Flux Pavilion - Somebody Else (Feat. GLNNA)  G Flip - I Am Not Afraid Gryffin & Aloe Blacc - Hurt People Kahlid - Better Maggie Rogers - Alaska MUNA - Stayaway LÉON - You & I

Best New Artist:

Billie Eilish Black Pumas Lil Nas X Lizzo Maggie Rogers ROSALÍA Tank and the Bangas Yola

My Picks: Billie Eilish Clairo Dermot Kennedy G Flip Jacob Banks Kim Petras Maggie Rogers Nilfür Yanya

Best Pop Solo Performance:

Ariana Grande - 7 Rings Beyoncé - Spirit Billie Eilish - Bad Guy Lizzo - Truth Hurts Taylor Swift - You Need To Calm Down

My Picks: Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Billie Eilish - Bad Guy G Flip - About You Maggie Rogers - Alaska Nilfür Yanya - Heavyweight Champion of the Year

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance:

Ariana Grande & Social House - Boyfriend Jonas Brothers - Sucker Lil Nas X - Old Town Road (Feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) Post Malone & Swae Lee - Sunflower Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello - Senorita

My Picks: James Blake - Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) JOHNNYSWIM - Souvenir Khalid - Outta My Head (Feat. John Mayer) Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings (Feat. Lykke Li) MUNA - Stayaway

Best Pop Vocal Album:

Ariana Grande - thank u, next Beyonce - The Link King: The Gift Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project Taylor Swift - Lover

My Picks: Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? G Flip - About Us Kim Petras - Clarity Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Nilfür Yanya - Miss Universe

Best Dance Recording:

Bonobo - Linked The Chemical Brothers - Got To Keep On Meduza Feat. Goodboys - Piece Of Your Heart RÜFÜS DU SOL - Underwater Skrillex & Boyz Noize - Midnight Hour (Feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

My Picks: Big Wild - Joypunks Flume - Let You Know (Feat. London Grammer) Flux Pavilion - Somebody Else (Feat. GLNNA) Illenium - Good Things Fall Apart (Feat. Jon Bellion) Elohim - runnin

Best Dance/Electronic Album:

Apparaty - LP5 The Chemical Brothers - No Georgraphy Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape] RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Tycho - Weather

My Picks: Big Wild - Superdream Alan Walker - Different World Illenium - ASCEND RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Whethan - Life of a Wallflower Vol. 1

Best Rock Performance:

Bones UK - Pretty Waste Gary Clark Jr. - This Land Brittany Howard - History Repeats Karen O & Danger Mouse - Woman Rival Sons - Too Bad 

My Picks: FIDLAR - Get Off My Rock Karen O & Danger Mouse - Turn the Light Mother Mother - Dance and Cry The Ting Tings - Estranged Foals - Exits

Best Rock Song:

Tool - Fear Inoculum The 1975 - Give Yourself A Try Vampire Weekend - Harmony Hall Brittany Howard - History Repeats  Gary Clark Jr. - This Land 

My Picks: Brittany Howard - He Loves Me Circa Waves - Sorry I’m Yours Karen O & Danger Mouse - Woman Of Monsters and Men - Rororo Vampire Weekend - This Life

Best Rock Album:

Bring Me The Horizon - amo Cage The Elephant - Social Cues The Cranberries - In The End I Prevail - Trauma Rival Sons - Feral Roots

My Picks: Bring Me The Horizon - amo Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Foals - Part I: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Mother Mother - Laugh and Cry The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Best Alternate Album:

Big Thieft - U.F.O.F. Bon Iver - I,I James Blake - Assume Form Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Thom Yorke - Anima

My Picks: Bon Iver - I,I Nick Murphy - Ran Fast Sleep Naked James Blake - Assume Form Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

Best R&B Performance:

Daniel Caesar & Brandy - Love Again H.E.R. - Could’ve Been (Feat. Bryson Tiller) Lizzo - Exactly How I Feel (Feat. Gucci Mane) Lucky Daye - Roll Some Mo Anderson .Paak - Come Home (Feat. Andre 3000)

My Picks: Kindness - Hard To Believe (Feat. Jazmine Sullivan & Sampha) Mahlia - What You Did (Feat. Ella Mai) Maverick Sabre - Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) Nicole Bus - You Rationale - Explosions 

Best Traditional R&B Performance:

BJ The Chicago Kid - Time Today India.Arie - Steady Love Lizzo - Jerome Lucky Daye - Real Games PJ Morton - Built For Love (Feat. Jazmine Sullivan)

My Picks: BANKS - Look What You’re Doing to Me (Feat. Francis & The Lights) Jacob Banks - Love Ain’t Enough Kahlid - Better Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Ruti - Racing Cars

Best R&B Song:

H.E.R. - Could’ve Been (Feat. Bryson Tiller) Emily King - Look At Me Now Chris Brown - No Guidance (Feat. Drake) Lucky Daye - Roll Some Mo PJ Morton - Say So (Feat. JoJo)

My Picks: BJ The Chicago Kid - Reach (Feat. Afrojack) Khalid - Free Spirit Lucky Daye - Concentrate Maverick Sabre - Weakness Ruti - Racing Cars

Best Urban Contemporary Album:

Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Georgia Anna Muldrow - Overload NAO - Saturn Jessie Reyes - Being Human in Public

My Picks: BANKS - III Kindness - Something Like War Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up NAO - Saturn

Best R&B Album:

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Lucky Daye - Painted Ella Mai - Ella Mai PJ Morton - Paul Anderson .Paak - Ventura

My Picks: BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Dawn Richard - New Breed Jacob Banks - The Village Kahlid - Free Spirit Anderson .Paak - Ventura

Best Rap Performance:

J. Cole - Middle Child DaBaby - Suge Dreamville - Down Bad (Feat. J.I.D., Bas, J. Cole, EARTHGANG & Young Nudy) Nipsey Hussle - Racks in the Middle (Feat. Roddy Rich & Hit-Boy) Offset - Clout (Feat. Cardi B)

My Picks: Denzel Curry - RICKY Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. HERE Freddie Gibs & Madlib - Palmolive (Feat. Pusha T & Killer Mike) Little Simz - Boss Mustard - Pure Water (Feat. Migos)

Best Rap/Song Performance:

DJ Khaled - Higher (Feat. Nipsey Hussle & John Legend) Lil Baby & Gunna - Drop Too Hard Lil Nas X - Panini Mustard - Ballin (Feat. Roddy Rich) Young Thug - The London (Feat. J. Cole & Travis Scott)

My Picks: Chance The Rapper - All Day (Feat. John Legend) GoldLink - Zulu Screams (Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) Kevin Abstract - Joyride Lizzo - Tempo (Feat. Missy Elliott) TOBi - Come Back Home (Feat. VanJess)

Best Rap Song:

YBN Cordae - Bad Idea (Feat. Chance The Rapper) Rick Ross - Gold Roses (Feat. Drake) 21 Savage - A Lot (Feat. J. Cole) Nipsey Hussle - Racks in the Middle (Feat. Roddy Rich & Hit-Boy) DaBaby - Suge

My Picks: Boogie - Soho (Feat. JID) JID - 151 Rum Rapsody - Nina Raja Kumari - SHOOK YBN Cordae - Have Mercy

Best Rap Album:

Dreamville - Revenger Of The Dreamer III Meek Mill - Chamionships 21 Savage - I Am> I Was Tyler, The Creator - IGOR YBN Cordae - The Lost Boy

My Picks: Denzell Curry - ZUU GoldLink - Diaspora Rapsody - Eve Lil Simz - GREY Area Tyler, The Creator - IGOR

Producer of the Year (Non-Classical):

Dan Auerbach Finneas Jack Antonoff John Hill Ricky Reed

My Picks: Big Wild Diplo Jack Antonoff Seven Lions Tyler, The Creator

[that-shamrock-vibe]

Movie Review: The Lion King (Spoilers)

Spoiler Warning: So I am slightly later to the party than originally intended but I will be talking about this movie in detail and am posting this review a day or so after it is released in U.K. cinemas, so if you haven’t yet seen the movie, either go and watch the original or wait until you have seen it before reading on.

General Reaction:

I have several problems with Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, not only with the choices the actual movie makes, but unfortunately also some of my ranting will be down to the live-action remake fatigue that has struck almost every Disney fan with the recent onslaught of remakes coming out. For me, The Lion King is where I have reached my  peak because up until now the live-action remakes at least brought something different from the originals for me.

Here however, if for some strange reason you haven’t seen the original animated version of this movie...as I know at least one person who hasn’t...then this may be a brand new enjoyable movie for you. However, for the rest of the world that has, this was pretty much the exact same movie scene for scene with dialogue that seems very tired and characters that lack the basic sense of emotion.

I just want to clarify something, anyone who knows me knows I do not talk follow trends when writing these reviews, so the fact that I am going to spend a lot of this review pretty much complaining about the movie is not because it seems to be the “it thing” to hate it, but instead I have actual reasons as to my disdain.

I do blame Jon Favreau for some of the problems with the movie, especially because he hit it out of the park with The Jungle Book remake back in 2016. I can remember walking out of the cinema after seeing that movie with such a sense of enjoyment from my cinema experience which was decorated in Jungle Book paraphernalia, to the actual movie which was obviously based on the original animated version but also took inspiration from the novel the original was based on.

Here though there was no decor save for one lion totem hidden away, and from the very start of the movie I was seriously underwhelmed by it all.

I don’t know if something got lost between the 2D animation and the CG animation but the movie just felt rather slow compared to the 1994 animated version. There was something so iconic and special about the original version that maybe it was simply the case that nothing could match up to it, but if that is the case then the talent behind the scenes should have at least tried to do something different with the story like Aladdin and Dumbo tried to do.

I genuinely believe that Jonny Fav blinked when tackling this compared to The Jungle Book because while The Jungle Book is a classic it isn’t as iconic or beloved as The Lion King and therefore maybe he didn’t want the backlash if he changed it and it wasn’t received well.

Also, this “live-action” version of the animated movie has 30 minutes more content in it than the original 1994 animated version, this is both a good and a bad thing. The two worst crimes of this movie, aside from it lacking originality and emotive facial expressions, as well as one particular song which I will get into, are two minor scenes that stretch-out pointless plot-points.

The first just after the “Circle of Life” opening where the movie follows the travels of the mouse that Scar eventually tries to eat. But this mouse is followed from the bottom of the cliff-face into the cave that Scar is in.

The second is after Simba begins to question everything he has been told about life and slumps down on that ledge. In the original 1994 version there are leaves and particles that originally spell out “Sex” that are now replaced by a piece of Simba’s mane flying away and going on a journey for five long minutes.

This hair lands in a lake, floats across a Savannah, is eaten and subsequently pooped out by a giraffe, rolled away in a poop ball by a dung beetle before being separated from the pile and being carried up to Rafiki’s tree by worker ants. In the original, a breeze carries leaves across Rafiki’s path which he catches and it is over in about 2 minutes.

Both scenes are dragged out, almost completely irrelevant to the plot and just took me out of the movie questioning why I’m following a mouse and a piece of hair.

Then I have to quickly talk about the stampede scene which leads to Mufasa’s death. 2-D Animation vs. photo-realistic technology is becoming a massive battle in cinema recently particularly at Disney, but there are many things that hand-drawn animation can get away with that live-action cannot. Not only did I get zero facial expressions from Simba or Mufasa in this scene but also that stampede scene in the original animated movie is so grand and has such an emotive response from audience members no matter how many times you see it whereas here, it didn’t seem as epic. It still felt grand because it’s a stampede but not on the level of the animated version.

To end this section on a positive, I do appreciate the photo-realistic CG because it does comprise the entire movie, even the scenery, because it all does make it seem like watching realistic animals for the most part.

Cast:

Alright so there are some good and bad thing about the cast and characters. For a start, the characters in “live-action” are emotionless, lack any real form of empathy and require your love of their 2D animated counterparts to gain any affection from the audience.

The best characters in this version are Timon, Pumbaa and the Hyenas, even Zazu is high-up for me...this presents another problem with the movie, the comic relief of the movie is the best part about it. But it is true, while Billy Eichner as Timon and Seth Rogen as Pumbaa may not be as strong a double act as Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella, they are still rather funny together and actually are given more of a meta humour than in the original movie. Not only with their version of “Hakuna Matata” but also the new Hyena distraction scene which in the original is the Hula scene but now starts off as the beginning of Beauty and the Beast’s “Be Our Guest”.

The hyenas meanwhile are made more formidable and fearsome in this movie, not only is Florence Kasumba as Shenzi more of a leader of her clan even opposing Scar at times, but both Keegan Michael-Kay and Eric André prove to be almost as good a double act as Kay & Peele. For this reason they’re high up on my list.

Donald Glover is an okay adult Simba. He has got that innocent youthful tone that adult Simba should have given the experiences of his life, but he does just feel like he’s reading a script rather than actually acting..

Beyoncé is, well Beyoncé in lioness form but the thing that lets her down is the lack of emotion on Nala’s face. Also I don’t understand why the back of her ears and tail were blackened aside from the fact that Favreau wanted Nala to stand out from the other lionesses.

Scar is as fierce as ever and Chiwetel Ejiofor proves once again why he is a great villain actor.

I was also pleasantly surprised by Simba’s mother Sarabi in this movie as not only did she have more to do but her backstory with Mufasa and Scar, which doesn’t necessarily make me want a prequel but adds to the Hamlet story that this story is based on, and has Scar state that she chose Mufasa over him...so does that mean she was somehow romantically involved with her now brother-in-law? Also Alfre Woodard is great in the role.

James Earl Jones is back and...it’s simply for nostalgic purposes because there is nothing really elevated in his performance. If anything his performance falls slightly flat in parts but otherwise he’s fine.

The biggest letdown for me is the character of Rafiki, who in the original 1994 version is my favourite character. I love the fact he’s a shaman, I loved his first meeting with Simba I could easily watch it over and over again. I do not understand why they effectively cut that scene and the message of morality that comes with it.

Then he only had his stick when preparing for that climactic fight. It seemed as if they were saying that point was him coming out of pacifism but it isn’t fully shown, but I wanted to see Rafiki walk around with his stick like he did in the original, they copied pretty much everything else but got rid of that?!

Also the one bit of facial emotion that any of these characters show is in the beginning “Circle of Life” sequence when Rafiki carries baby Simba to the edge of Pride Rock and Simba looks genuinely sad to be pulled away from his mother.

Speaking of young Simba, both JD McCrary and Shahadi Wright Joseph do a good job as the young versions of Simba and Nala respectively. I think McCrary tries very hard to recapture the emotion that can bring grown men to tears when Simba finds his father dead, it doesn’t quite stick but he tries.

Songs:

I don’t know if it is because the original score and soundtrack is so iconic and ingrained in popular culture, or just that reworks of the same songs don’t really work...Aladdin for all its plusses still fell into that category...but the songs from the original movie in this version do nothing good for me.

“Circle of Life” is supposed to be the energised introduction to the movie, but if you were to watch the opening to this movie and the original side-by-side, it is practically a shot for shot copy but this version is slower and therefore misses a lot of the cues. Even the shot where you first see Zazu flying over to Pride Rock is underwhelming and they screwed that up twice, first at the start and then again at the end of the movie.

“I Just Can’t Wait To Be King” was also slightly lackluster because of the fact this movie seemed to take away the fantastical elements of the performances in favour of apparently making it more grounded, but it was still a fun performance. I think the two young actors playing the two young cubs did a great job vocally and the performance of them hiding from Zazu amongst the animals was an okay alternative.

“Be Prepared” is the one time I have been actually offended in one of these Disney live-action remakes, this song is one of the greatest villain songs in history. They take a performance which fully executes the Elephant Graveyard but also turns the hyenas into the New Reich! This is Scar monologuing for a couple of minutes and the “song” lasts about maybe 30 seconds. This was my favourite song in the original and it fizzles out completely.

“Hakuna Matata” is a fun song as it was in the original, like “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” the fantastical elements are taken out of it so Pumbaa swinging on the vine swing and the use of the bugs and the diving into water are all taken out. Even so, Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen do a good job singing as does JD McCrary...Donald Glover on the other hand is not a singer.

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is probably my favourite song in the movie, and it’s a song not original to The Lion King which is more of a problem for the revision of the soundtrack to the original 1994 version but the fact Timon and Pumbaa got essentially their own doo-wop group going of the animals that also inhabit their home, it’s just such a good rendition.

“Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”...if it wasn’t for Beyoncé would be an absolute bomb because Donald Glover, again, cannot sing. Also the song happens way too quickly. The movie is effectively a shot-for-shot remake but some scenes are cut short and Simba and Nala’s reunion is made very short before this song kicks in.

Recommendation:

I can’t say this is a perfect movie, if you love the original and want to see that again you will like this just fine, if you were wanting something different like how Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast altered themselves slightly then you won’t really get that here.

I still recommend it as a movie to see just one because it is an important movie to see just to see how stretched out these live-action remakes are becoming. However, I will agree with those that say it is one of the worst remakes.

[visforvengeance]

Tom Holland: Cacciatore and limousines

Requested by: no one :)

Notes: hurdurdur. Hello. This isn’t the tom holland story I was talking about. But this is mobster!tom and I hope you guys like it. I chose mitski’s nobody for this one. It was supposed to be set in like the 20s but the song didn’t fit. So nvm ig. I hope you guys don’t mind, but I gave the reader the name ivy because it’s pret. These are my ocs except for tom and Harrison obvi. Also!!!!! I planned for this to be a series type thing. But that’s only if you guys liked it and wanted more. So please let me knowwww. Also in honor of 1k followers, here’s cacciatore and limousines (hehe inspo from lana del rey)

Summary: Ivy is the daughter of the infamous mobster, Thaddeus Salvatore. She’s an aspriring singer looking for a way up. That’s when she meets fellow mobster/producer, Tom Holland. Fame, drugs, and infidelity isn’t always what makes you a superstar. But in this case, it does.

Warnings: HhHh mentions of drug use, abuse, and prostitution. If any of these are triggers for you, I don’t suggest reading it. I didn’t proofread and I wrote this on mobile.

Ivy’s POV

I’m so nervous. Tonight I was performing in front of London’s most famous producer, Tom Holland. He’s produced songs for some of the most famous artists today. Its always been a dream of mine to be a big star. My father had ties which got me thus far. We were at the Angel’s Speakeasy on Angel Street. Ironic, right? My pa had visited me in the dressing room. “Hello, love.” I turned facing him and smiled. “Hi, dad. I wanted to thank you again for doing this for me. Tom Holland is so famous, if I can lure him with my voice, then it’s a done deal. I’ll be as famous as Beyoncé.” I laughed

My father, Thaddeus, was a very well respected mobster. Nobody dared to disrespect him and he was proud of it. He’d rather be a feared man than a liked one. Many people have placed bounties on my family’s heads thinking it would make him scared. But it only made him more ruthless and fearsome. He’s scared off more boyfriends than I can count, but it was only to protect me. My mother, Marie, loved playing the role of a mobster’s wife. Big houses, expensive clothing and jewelry, fancy restaurants, and chauffeurs. One would think she only wanted him for his money, but my parents have known each for 40 years and had been married for 20. It was always more than just the money.

“You better impress him or I’ve wasted my time.” Father wasn’t like any other father. He loved his children unconditionally, but he never said it. He was more of a hardass than anything and was always so serious. All work and no play. No time for that mushy garbage you saw on tv. My mom was different. She never failed to tell us she loved us, but she always failed to defend us when my father was being a bit too harsh. “I refuse to have another no good for nothing child. Don’t be like your sisters.” Daddy had 3 girls. My two older sisters, Angeline and Heather, were his most prized possessions and he used them as bait to catch the men who owed him. They were married off to other mobsters, but things were worse for them.

Angeline had gotten into drugs and Heather was treated as her husband’s prostitute. I love my sisters and I just hate that this happened to them. “I won’t, daddy.” He nodded and kissed my forehead. “You go out there and show him how good of a singer you really are. Live up to the reputation I’ve built or you’ve failed me as a daughter.” I sighed and nodded. “Of course, dad.” He walked out and probably went to go find a seat somewhere. The group before me had finished their song and it was my turn to perform. “Our next act is the wonderful Ivy Salvatore.” That was cue to get up on that stage and impress some guys.

I walked out to the stage and spoke into the microphone. “Hello everyone. I’m going to be singing an original song tonight..” I looked directly at Tom. “I hope you like it.” He smirked and leaned over with his elbows on the table. I motioned for the band to start playing.

“My god, I’m so lonely So I open the window To hear sounds of people To hear sounds of people.

Venice planet of love Was destroyed by global warming Did it’s people want too much too? Did it’s people want too much?

And I don’t want your pity I just want somebody near me Guess I’m a coward I just want to feel alright.

And I know no one will save me I’m just asking for a kiss Give me one good honest kiss And I’ll be alright.

Nobody, nobody, nobody Nobody, nobody, oooh Nobody, nobody, nobody

I’ve been big and small And big and small And big and small again And still nobody wants me Still nobody wants me

And I know no one will save me I’m just asking for a kiss Give me one good movie kiss And I’ll be alright.

Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Ooh, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody
Nobody, nobody, no”

I had my eyes shut the entire performance. I finally opened my eyes to the sound of clapping. There was one person’s opinion who mattered at the moment. Tom and I locked eyes, it’s as if his facial expression hadn’t changed. He still had the same smirk from when I started. I bowed and exited the stage back to my dressing room. I sat there, taking deep breaths as I tried not to think negative thoughts.

Tom and My father stood at the entrance of the room. “Hello, Ivy darling.” Tom acknowledged. My father placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I looked at Tom through the mirror. “Hello, Mr. Holland.” He smiled a boyish smile. “Please. Call me Tom.” He took a seat in the chair behind me. I turned to face him. I don’t know if it’s the lighting or his facial features. He was truly gorgeous. “That was quite a performance. Usually when I’m asked to attend these things, the person I’m supposed to like is complete shit.” My father’s gentle grip tightened with each unsatisfying word.

“But you.” He started while pointing at me. “You’ve such a beautiful voice, love. Why don’t we get you down to my studio over the weekend and record a couple of songs together? How does that sound?” I was so relieved that he liked performance. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much.” He grinned and stood up, readjusting the one button on his suit jacket. I also stood up and moved so my father and I were standing in front of him. “Don’t thank me yet, love. You can do that if you’re first ep tops charts.” He held out his hand for me to shake. “Don’t doubt me, darling. I’ve made it this far. It’s time I go even further.”

He smirked. “You’ve got the personality of a superstar.” He said while walking out of the door. I turned to look at my father. This was the first time I’ve seen him smile this entire night. “I did it, daddy. He wants to help me produce some songs.” I said as I hugged him. “Your mother and I are very proud of you, doll.” I smiled and kissed his cheek.

We arrived at home, where there was currently a party going on. My mother liked to have parties every 2 weeks, so I wasn’t surprised. I just wonder what the occasion was this time. As we walked in, mom greeted us at the door. “I’m so proud of you, love. Your father told me what happened. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there. I know how nervous you get when I’m not there.” I was a lot closer with my mum than anyone.

“It’s okay, mum. I know you were busy. What’s the party for?” Her face beamed at the mention of a party. “Well it’s a celebration party for you, my love. For the successful night you’ve had. And there’s even a special surprise waiting for you in your room.” She always showered my sisters and I in gift. “For being the greatest children anyone could ever ask for.” I hugged her and sighed. “You didn’t have to, mum.” She waved her hand. “I know, I know. But I wanted to. You deserve it.”

I nodded and made my way through the crowd. Stopping every 5 minutes to say thank you to anyone who congratulates me. I finally made my way upstairs and into my room. Before I could process any of what was happening, my sisters hugged me. I haven’t seen them in such a long time, they looked completely different. “Angie! Heather! I’ve missed you guys so much.” Angie’s once long brown hair, full of curls, was now cut bob length and almost gray. Heather’s black, bone straight hair was now frizzy and dull. You could see the bruises on Heather’s arm and Angie’s once curvaceous body, had lost a significant amount of weight.

“How have you guys been? It’s been like 2 years? How are my babies?” Both of my sisters had children. Heather had two teenage boys, aged 15 and 17. Angeline had only one little baby girl who was about 4. As far as I knew, Andrew and Harold never harmed the kids. But Eden and Jasper weren’t babies anymore. They know what goes on behind closed doors. And little Jessamine was too young to think of anything that 4 year olds don’t usually think about.

“They’ve been great. Jasper’s graduation is in two months and Eden made valedictorian. I’ve never been more proud of my boys!” I smiled. I’d be proud of my children too. “Jessamine has been nominated as student of the year at her daycare.” I clapped my hands together in excitement. “I’m so proud of them. Please send me the details for Jasper’s graduation. I would love to attend.” Heather nodded and grabbed my hand, Angeline grabbed the other.

“Enough about our lives. Look at you! Our baby sister is about to be a superstar.” I smiled shyly and looked down at the ground. “W-we don’t know that for sure. We have to record a few songs first and then we’ll go from there.” My sisters scoffed and laughed. “When will you go to the studio, love?” I sipped the brown liquor adorned with a beautiful hibiscus flower. “This weekend. I’m supposed to stay with him and record.” They shared a look and wiggled their eyebrows.

“I heard this Holland guy is unbelievably handsome.” Angeline smirked. “He is. But if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, you might as well stop now, darling. He is my producer and nothing more.” Heather blew a raspberry. “You’re such a prude, Ives. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were still a virgin.” My hand flew to my chest in mock offense. “I am not. I’ll have you know I’ve lost my virginity at the ripe age of 17.” Angie rolled her eyes. “To Mr. Osterfield’s boy. Harrison, was it? You know, he is Tom’s best friend, right?”

I stared in disbelief. “He’s what?” My sisters laughed and Heather gave me a pat on the back. They pulled me up and led me to the ballroom area. Once we were walking down the stairs, everyone turned their attention to me. Rounds of applause were heard and there I spotted him. Tom stood in the center of it all. It felt like those movies where the girl sees the love of her life and everything else is blurred.

A/n’s note: Thank you guys for 1k. I know I’m not the best writer and I definitely don’t post as much as I should. But it seriously means a lot to me that this many people think I’m an okay writer lmao. i love u wow!!

[borisbubbles]

14. Cyprus

Eleni Foureira - “Fuego” Runner-up

What is happiness? The feeling that power is growing and that resistance is overcome. --Friedrich Nietzsche

Judging by that quote, Eleni must be a very happy woman because she has overcome a LOT. She entered Eurovision with a slew of drawbacks: As a sexually confident woman with a sultry song, she was always going to inspire contempt. As a fugitive Albanian, the Greek support other Cypriot entries had would be only conditional for Eleni at best. Her voice (or apparent lack thereof), of course, was a major point of discussion, among Greeks and Eurovision Tumblr Bloggers alike (ahem). As someone who was hyped and pimped by her Loud Obnoxious Fanbase as someone better than she actually was, she was always going to alienate neutrals by proxy.

So going into this year, Eleni faced a fairly uphill battle. Guess what?

She fucking slayed it.

From the moment this woman, no, this GAZELLE, serenly glided onto the stage, unfazed, confident and battle-ready, she was snatching weaves left, right and centre. Any man would pay the price of sweet surrender, for the promise in her eyes it was so tender. She provided a action-pumped show that was captivating, mesmerizing even, for a full three minutes. My God, did “Fuego” look good. 

Out of all the acts that could’ve won the Sasha Jean-Baptiste Raffle, I’m glad “Fuego” did because Eleni absolutely was the one whom I felt needed it the most. Partially because Eleni is an utter gem of a person. She’s the epitome of the Lovable Dimwit Archetype (”Eleni what does your song mean?” “it means... yeah yeah, fire ^__^”) Mostly because Eleni had two pretty big problems: She has a fairly crappy voice and she has a fairly crappy song.

The voice I don’t mind though. Yeah, it’s not as crisp as the rest of the top five (literally crisp if we count Moro’s, whose voice sounds like someone crushing doritos with their bare hands), but Eleni’s vocals being shit was telegraphed way in advance so idek how you could be shocked at this fucking stage. For all the buzz it generated, I expected way worse? Eleni’s vocals don’t detract from the experience and at times even enhance it. Her voice just... withers at the funniest of moments:

And then the disaster note gets echoed around the Altice Arena TWICE <3 (also “Yeah Eyes of a Linus <3)

The song, however, I mind significantly more. Surely Cyprus made the most out of what they were given and “Fuego” was an excellent frame for that brilliant act, but Dear God. I’ve said it several times before, but “Fuego” would make an excellent winner in two-thousand-and-EIGHT, but not two-thousand-and-fucking-EIGHTEEN. Even by Eurovision’s hopelessly antiquated Musical standards (”Hey guys we found out about this CRAZE that’s sweeping the musical scene we should add it to all our entries” “what’s it called?” “Dubstep” -- Eurovision in 2013), “Fuego” is hopelessly dated. It’s a nice throwback to the halcyon days of the Eastern Miniskirted Goddess (and “Fuego” is better than, say, “Secret Combination” and “Düm Tek Tek”), but this is not even remotely near “My Number One”, “Qele Qele” or “Shady Lady” levels of glorious hip-shaking femdom imo. 

“Fuego”’s utter lack of originality also came to the attention of the Eurosnobs who began disliking Eleni for... the fucking wrongest, stupidest reasons why am I not surprised? “UM SHE’S LIKE BEYONCE HOW AWFUL” First of all, Beyoncé doesn’t fucking have a monopoly on this type of music, Second of all, you’re making it sound as if being like Queen Bay is a bad thing??? Third of all,  STFUUUU!!! WHY EVEN WATCH EUROVISION IF YOU’RE NOT WILLING TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF THIS DESPERATE SLUTPOP ANTHEM

At the end of the gay, I really like “Fuego”. Well, that is to say, I like what it became on the Eurovision stage, but that’s ultimately what matters most. Despite the hate she got, Eleni absolutely deserved to finish as high as she did based on her live performances. On the flipside, if I were to never listen to “Fuego” again, I wouldn’t miss it, at all. Now that we’re ready to fully move on to the next tier, I do have *higher* “spam replay button on Youtube” standards that “Fuego” sadly, does not meet. STILL A BETTER UNDERDOG STORY THAN NETTA THO

RANKING SO FAR:

14. Cyprus (Eleni Foureira - “Fuego”)

15. United Kingdom (SuRie - “Storm”)

16. Serbia (Balkanika - “Nova Deca”)

17. Portugal (Cláudia Pascoal - “O jardim”)

18. The Netherlands (Waylon - “Outlaw in ‘em”)

19. Ukraine (MÉLOVIN - “Under the ladder”)

20. Macedonia (Eye Cue - “Lost and Found”)

21. San Marino (Jessika ft. Jenifer Brening - “Who We Are”)

22. Sweden (Benjamin Ingrosso - “Dance You Off”)

23. Austria (Cesár Sampson - “Nobody but you”)

24. Latvia (Laura Rizzotto - “Funny girl”)

25. Azerbaijan (AISEL - “X my heart”)

26. Israel (Netta - “Toy”)

27. Norway (Alexander Rybak  - “That’s how you write a song”)

28. Montenegro (Vanja Radovanovic - “Inje”)

29. Armenia (Sevak Khanagyan - “Qami”)

30. Poland (Gromee ft. Lukas Meijer - “Light me up”)

31. Greece (Yianna Terzi - “Oniro mou”)

32. Georgia (Iriao - “For you”)

33. Belgium (Sennek - “A matter of time”)

34. Italy (Ermal Meta & Fabrizio Moro - “Non mi avete fatto niente)

35. Romania (The Humans - “Goodbye”)

36. Ireland (Ryan O'Shaughnessy - “Together”)

37. Croatia (Franka - “Crazy”)

38. Belarus (ALEKSEEV - “Forever”)

39. Russia (Julia Samoylova - “I Won’t Break”)

40. Spain (Amaia & Alfred - “Tu canción”)

41. Iceland (Ari Ólafsson - “Our choice”)

42. Australia (Jessica Mauboy - “We Got Love”)

43. Czech Republic (Mikolas Josef - “Lie to me”)

FOOTNOTES

1) I would argue that Eleni probably had the best underdog story out of everyone this year. This year had plenty of them, many of which are still in this ranking (Ieva, Eugent, DoReDoS, etc), but there really is something to be said about the constant barrage of persecution, xenophobia and mockery Eleni had to deal with and overcome in both LIFE and this contest. Pity she wasn’t a chicken woman or it would’ve won her the contest.

2) In case anyone wonders, I was pretty much “France or Estonia or DIE” for pretty much the entire season, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t too impressed with the top five we got (um, yeah not like I didn’t already boot 4/5 of them lul) Out of the DIRE top five we were given, Eleni probably should have won? (I loved Germany -obviousspoiler- but moreso because they didn’t win) Ugh I can’t with this year sometimes.