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hit-song-showdown · 1 year

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Year-End Poll #30: 1979

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: The Knack, Donna Summer (x2), Chic, Rod Stewart, Peaches & Herb, Gloria Gaynor, Village People, Anita Ward, Robert John. End description]

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We have made it through another decade, everyone. As we reach the end of the 1970's, we are also reaching the end of disco. This is something that makes this genre stand out in a historic sense. Because while we've covered many genres tied to their decade (traditional pop with the 50s, doo-wop with the 60s, etc), those didn't necessarily end the moment the decade switched over. We're still in disco's peak (the dance party before the storm), and many of the songs and artists featured on today's poll are still considered classics. Fun fact, the original name for Chic's Le Freak was called Fuck Off!, which in my opinion is the correct way to sing along to it. The song was written after the band couldn't get into Studio 54, the disco hot spot of the 1970's.

Which brings us to the first crumbling pillar that will send disco collapsing. As disco became mainstream, the aesthetics of disco became less about marginalized people surrounding themselves with opulence and luxury as an escape, and more about...the opulent surrounding themselves with more luxury. The communities who had built this subculture were getting priced out of their own hot spots as the upper class and the celebrities flocked to the hot new thing.

But the disco backlash wasn't just marginalized people and disco purists frustrated with the gentrification and commodification of their subculture. In fact, I think it's safe to say that they were the minority. In reality, the disco backlash had two main prongs: the general music-listening public who was sick of hearing disco on every station, and/or bigots who would hate any kind of Black or gay music they heard no matter how commercialized it became.

So, let's talk about Disco Demolition Night.

July 12th, 1979, the rock vs. disco conflict reached its ugliest peak as tens of thousands of people stormed Comiskey Park in Chicago. Disco records were crushed, burned, and even blown up. The event soon broke out into a riot and thankfully no one was killed, but the demonstration still casts an unpleasant shadow over this moment in music history.

I don't want to diminish the ugliness of this event. As Craig Werner, a professor of African American studies at the University of Wisconsin put it:

"The Anti-disco movement represented an unholy alliance of funkateers and feminists, progressives and puritans, rockers and reactionaries. None the less, the attacks on disco gave respectable voice to the ugliest kinds of unacknowledged racism, sexism and homophobia." (A Change Is Gonna Come)

And to quote Chic's Nile Rogers:

"It felt to us like Nazi book-burning. This is America, the home of jazz and rock and people were now afraid even to say the word 'disco'. I remember thinking - we're not even a disco group."

So I don't want to imply that Disco Demolition Night wasn't a shameful moment, because it was. However, it didn't kill disco. I see a lot of music retrospectives use this event as the one climactic moment that killed the genre and forced music itself to change. And I get why; it's an exciting and narratively satisfying conclusion to come to. But I don't want to say that, because I don't want to give Steve Dahl, the anti-disco shock jock radio DJ who organized the event, the credit in taking down an entire subculture.

Commercialization killed disco. White executives and artists cramming disco into everything without appreciating its roots killed disco. Gentrification killed disco. Changing tastes killed disco. Homophobia and racism killed disco. Capitalism killed disco.

A radio DJ and his angry drunk white boy fans storming a baseball stadium didn't kill disco. But it was the symptom of a disease that was already coursing through the system.

And despite the genre's historic death, disco would actually continue to live on past this decade in a variety of ways. Much like most other genres, disco was able to change and evolve with the times -- it just couldn't do so under the "disco" label as even the name itself became poison.

Also, as I said I keep these polls focused on the U.S. charts because that's where I'm from so I have a better understanding of the musical and historic context. However, it seems like disco's death was mostly contained to this country. When I glance at the various European charts (and any European followers can feel free to correct me), disco didn't seem to drop off in the same way. This will become relevant when we cover some of the European crossovers in a few decades.

So as we celebrate/mourn the end of the seventies with its last dance party, we can all come together and agree that whether you're a rock fan or a disco fan, at least most of your music has aged better than talk radio.

See you all in the 80's.

#billboard music #billboard poll #tumblr poll #1970s #1970s music #1979 #the knack #donna summer #chic #rod stewart #peaches and herb #gloria gaynor #village people #anita ward #robert john

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anonymouspuzzler · 2 years

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my hourly comics from this year!! it ended up being an Extremely Eventful Day so there was a lot to cover, which was fun!

[Image IDs/transcripts under da cut!]

A collection of 19 three-panel comic strips done for Hourly Comics Day 2023. Each three-panel comic represents roughly an hour of the day. Two strips are contained in each image except the last, which contains only one strip, for a total of 10 images.

IMAGE 1 COMIC 1 (7AM) The first panel shows Puzz in bed, half-awake and drooling, with her hair everywhere. An alarm is going off on her phone, which is sitting on a floating shelf on the wall. The phone screen reads "UP!" and is blasting alarm music and vibrating loudly. The second panel shows a close-up of Puzz's face cropped by the bottom of the frame, looking agonized, while the alarm continues in the background. She thinks, "I wonder if I can ignore it long enough it shuts off". The final panel shows Puzz, in her pajamas and with her hair a mess, up and about holding a mug labeled "coffee". Her cat trails behind her with its mouth open, screaming "A". The panel is captioned "I could not." COMIC 2 (8AM) The first panel reads "TODAY'S FIT" followed by a bulleted list: "-big flannel -patched-up overalls -da boots -cap w/dinos all over LESBIANLY LOOKZ". Puzz is to the right of the list wearing the outfit in question, giving a thumbs-up. The second panel shows Puzz sitting in a desk chair in front of her laptop (helpfully labeled "LAP TOP"), smiling widely with sparkles all around her. The panel is captioned "check on gay people in my puter (girlfriend & friends on Discord). Word balloons from the laptop show a kitty, a boat, and the earth. The final panel shows a close-up of Puzz's face with a nervous grin, sweating profusely. The panel is captioned "have to send a project proposal". Puzz is thinking, "PLEASE LIKE IT PLEASE SEE IT AS A LOVE FOR THE WORK AND NOT A HUGE SELFISH IMPOSITION AAAAAAA". She has one shaking pointer finger raised, labeled "shaking over 'send'".

IMAGE 2 COMIC 3 (9AM (PT. 1)) The first panel shows a close-up of Puzz running and sweating with a grimace. Next to her is text reading "OK!! I'M LATE (as usual) BUT IF THIS PRINTS QUICK I CAN STILL CATCH THE CAMPUS SHUTTLE". The second panel shows Puzz with a backpack on, staring anxiously down at an office printer. The panel is captioned "6 full minutes of loading". The final panel shows Puzz, sweating and determined, sprinting away, with text above her reading "ACTUALLY FUCK THIS I WANNA LIVE". Next to her is text reading "(I barely made it to the shuttle.)" COMIC 4 (9AM (PT 2)) The first panel is captioned "on the shuttle..." and shows Puzz, now wearing a mask, looking out the window of said shuttle. Outside is a woman with shoulder-length hair wearing a simple coat and sunglasses, waving with one hand and holding A Single Banana Peel in the other. An arrow labels her "woman on a walk w/ a single banana peel??" Puzz has several question marks around her as she looks on in confusion. The second panel is captioned "targeted directly by the Double Fine official Twitter" and shows Puzz looking at her phone, visibly struggling not to laugh. A thought bubble coming from her reads "DON'T SCREAM LAUGH IN PUBLIC" repeatedly. The final panel shows Puzz off the shuttle, with a look of frantic realization, shouting "AH FUCK ME". An arrow pointing to her reads "forgot my tape measure AGAIN".

IMAGE 3 COMIC 5 (10AM) The first panel shows Puzz sitting at a table with her tablet and a keyboard, visibly smiling behind her mask, with text around her reading "CLASS TIME!" The second panel shows Puzz at the same table, now looking more distressed and concerned. Around her are multiple disconnected word balloons reading "CANCEL CULTURE", "CENSORSHIP", "SO THIS GUY ON YOUTUBE-", "WOKEISM", "KANYE", "TRIGGERED", "REVERSE-CULTURAL APPROPRIATION", "DAVE CHAPELLE", and "IT'S LIKE CAN I EVEN SAY ANYTHING". The final panel shows a close-up of Puzz looking exhausted, with text above and around her reading, "ah... yes... this is why I left the Fine Arts..." An arrow pointing to her reads "remembering". COMIC 6 (11AM) The first panel is captioned "STILL CLASS". Puzz is shown with a thoughtful expression, gesturing with both hands, saying in decorative text "Insightful observation". There are sparkles flying around everywhere. The second panel shows Puzz now kicking back at the table, leaning back in her chair, feet on the table, tablet in her lap. She holds her pen in one hand and gives a thumbs-up with the other. Text above her reads, "well, that's my Brain(TM) for today! I draw Loboto now thanks." The final panel shows an extreme close-up on Puzz's face, looking deeply annoyed. Text behind her spoken by someone offscreen reads "ANYWAY I GET SOOO TRIGGERED HAVING TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS-" A thought balloon from Puzz reads "SETTING U ON FIRE W/ MY MIND".

IMAGE 4 COMIC 7 (12PM) The first panel is captioned "MEETING W/ MY PROF". A word bubble from said professor offscreen reads, "that observation was so insightful". Puzz, holding her tablet under one arm, pumps her fist, with text next to her reading "HELL YES". The second panel shows Puzz from behind talking to the professor, a nondescript woman with a shaggy bob haircut and dark shirt. The professor says, "don't worry too much! If you try, you'll pass! even if you just do a lecture over photos!" Puzz, with a smiling expression behind her mask, replies, "oh, good!" The final panel shows Puzz, still smiling behind her mask, holding up her tablet (which has a nondescript sketch of an installation proposal) and saying, "so here's my rough draft-" The offscreen professor interrupts, "ok so this proposal alone is what I'd assign as a whole semester's work". COMIC 8 (1PM) The first panel is captioned "CHECKING MESSAGES (NICE 2 ME...)" and shows Puzz checking her phone, which is emitting a word balloon with three exclamation points. Puzz is staring down at it with a big-eyed expression, crying tears of joy. The second panel is captioned "SENDING MAIL" and shows Puzz at a post office window, with a mail clerk with a ponytail and envelope earrings seen from behind holding a box. The clerk says "oh, you used the wrong label", and Puzz, expression blank, replies "ah". The final panel is captioned "5 minute Starbux sandwich". It shows Puzz frantically shoving said sandwich whole into her mouth with both hands, with a "HORF." sound effect.

IMAGE 5 COMIC 9 (2PM) The first panel is captioned "THERAPY TIME!" and under that, "3x EYE CONTACT COMBO". Puzz is in the center of the frame wearing a headset mic, smiling into the camera. Behind her to the right is her cat, staring directly into the camera atop a cat tree. Behind her to the left is a Spamton plush in a desk organizer, also looking directly into the camera. The second panel shows Puzz, looking mildly chastised, at her computer, through which her therapist speaks, saying "you're not gonna like hearing this. you might need to take things out of your schedule". Puzz replies simply "mm", but a caption above her reads "SHE WAS RIGHT". The final panel has the therapist offscreen saying, "let's roleplay that scenario! How are you feeling?" Puzz, grinning nervously with eyes wide and sweat pouring down her face, replies, "VERY ANXIOUS". COMIC 10 (3PM) The first panel shows Puzz from the knees down walking left. Her cat chases after her, looking up and meowing plaintively. The second panel shows Puzz staring down at her cat, comically wide-eyed and sobbing, with text behind her reading "oh NO... my sweet little baby ohhhhh I was gone so long and I have to leave again oh NOOOOO sweetie I'm so sorry I wish I could stayyy" The final panel shows Puzz from the knees down again. Her cat tackles her leg, grabbing and biting it, while she shouts "HEY".

IMAGE 6 COMIC 11 (4PM (CLASS... 2!!)) The first panel shows Puzz's professor, a bald Black man with glasses and a very thin goatee wearing a button-up, holding up a tupperware labeled "cookiez". He says, "so, these were here when I sat down..." Puzz, looking sheepish, raises her hand and says, "oh, I brought those for the class!" The second panel shows Puzz's professor taking a cookie, saying, "in that case, I will take two- hm, no, there's not that many. I'll be fair and take one." The final panel shows a nondescript male classmate of Puzz's on his laptop in the background, saying, "you could've just claimed them all since they were up front". Puzz's professor, in the foreground seen slightly from behind, replies "well considering this class is on Marxism..." COMIC 12 (5PM) The first panel is captioned "THIS CLASS IS 3 HOURS LONG AND THERE IS NO BREAK", and shows Puzz and her friend Oscar (helpfully labeled as such) fitting at a table, both staring slightly blankly ahead. Oscar is a slight man with curly hair and glasses, wearing a fluffy sweater over a dark shirt, as well as a black mask. Oscar is on a laptop (labeled "FRUIT!") while Puzz has her tablet keyboard out. A thought bubble coming from Puzz reads "LOADING..." The second panel is captioned "IT IS ALSO EXTREMELY INTELLECTUALLY INTENSE" and shows a close-up on Puzz, looking distressed. She thinks, "OH GOD I BARELY RETAINED THESE READINGS". The final panel shows an over-the shoulder-view of Puzz with her tablet in her lap, looking frantic as she repeatedly taps the screen with her pen. Text above her reads "I KEEP TRYING TO WORK ON THESE COMICS STEALTHILY BUT MY PEN KEEPS DISCONNECTING AAAAAAA"

IMAGE 7 COMIC 13 (6PM) The first panel is captioned "FINALLY HITTING MY GROOVE...?" Puzz, looking tired but thoughtful, gestures with both hands, saying, "the passage reminded me of - and forgive me for bringing this up - Elon Musk," The second Panel shows a classmate of Puzz's, a brunette woman with a flowing dress on, smiling and gesturing to her book, saying "see I put in my notes 'Jeff Bezos'". Puzz, looking to be barely holding back laughter, snickers, while her professor in the foreground doubles over and wheezes. The final panel shows another classmate of Puzz's, a woman in a dark v-neck shirt and black mask, gesturing with one pointer finger up. She says, "I have an addition". The professor, in the foreground looking over at her, says "Will it bring us back on topic to the reading?" The classmate hesitantly replies "yyyyyesss..." COMIC 14 (7PM) The first panel is captioned "A BUNCH OF US TEND TO LOITER OUTSIDE TALKING SHOP AFTER CLASS". It shows Puzz and Oscar, the brunette classmate (who is smiling and waving as she walks off), and two other classmates (one with dark curly hair and a bulky jacket, the other with light wavy hair and a lighter cardigan) all gesticulating and talking animatedly. The second panel shows Puzz, with a big cat grin, hugging Oscar. Puzz says "see ya tomorrow!" and Oscar replies, "can't wait for your hourlies!" The final panel is captioned "HEAR MY FRIEND PARKER SHOUT W/ DELIGHT FROM DOWN THE HALL". Puzz is crowded in the frame by an "AAAAA!!" word balloon surrounded by hearts and smiley faces. Puzz barely holds in a laugh as she walks by.

IMAGE 8 COMIC 15 (8PM) The first panel is captioned "REALLY GOOD NEWS & PRETTY SAD NEWS COME TO ME AT EXACT SAME TIME", and shows Puzz, now with mask and hat off, sitting at her laptop, looking down at her phone with surprise. The second panel shows Puzz sitting quietly at her desk, having set her phone face-down in front of her. She looks up with a thoughtful expression, tears in her eyes. The final panel is captioned "we'll focus on the good." It shows Puzz from behind sitting at her desk, beginning to draw. There are two monitors in front of her, a cup of pens to her right side, and a water bottle, lamp and fan to her left. COMIC 16 (9PM) The first panel shows Puzz, face mostly out of frame, leaning down with a cup of cat food in one hand. Her cat is sitting in front of her, staring up expectantly, surrounded by sparkles, with the elevated food dish next to her. The panel is captioned in decorative text "Kitty Dinner". The second panel shows Puzz, looking tired but determined, sitting in front of her tablet drawing. Small text next to her reads "CATCHUP HOURS..." The final panel is captioned "DISTRACTED BY TUMBLR A LOT..." and shows Puzz typing at her laptop, looking confused but entertained, saying "where did all these asks come from??"

IMAGE 9 COMIC 17 (10PM-11PM) The first panel is captioned "COMBINED BC MOST OF IT WAS EXTENSIVE PROJECT TALK" and shows Puzz typing furiously at her laptop with an expression of mischievous delight. The second panel is captioned "I CAN'T TALK ABOUT WHAT I'M WORKING ON FOR A BIT BUT I'M EXCITED AND GRATEFUL". It shows Puzz looking surprised and mock-offended as her cat steps on the laptop keyboard in front of her, causing random symbols to be typed. The final panel is captioned "ART IS COOL" and shows Puzz smiling serenely, having picked up her confused-looking cat with both arms, holding it against her. COMIC 18 (12PM) The first panel shows Puzz looking tired but triumphant, holding up her tablet pen with her tablet tucked against her other side, with text reading "CAUGHT UP...!!" and sparkles all around. The second panel shows Puzz typing at her laptop, smiling but still looking tired, thinking, "let's post these... how many more should I do...? Till bed, I guess..." The final panel shows Puzz, still at her laptop, yawning deeply.

IMAGE 10 COMIC 19 (...) This page shows two rows of three panels each. The first five panels are all empty. The final panel shows Puzz lying in bed asleep, covered in quilts and surrounded by plush toys, with her cat asleep at her feet.

#long post /#anonymous puzzler art #anonymous puzzler originals #hourly comics fun :)

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stobinesque · 1 year

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WIP Wednesday!

Tagged by @eriquin and @steves-strapcollection, thank you!!

THE RULES

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

THE WIPS

Jeff is Steve's Bi Awakening AU (fwiw I already have two of these sitting in my inbox from a couple weeks ago)

wigwag [Steve's Big Gay Sex Adventure]

Wayfinder [S4 Fix-it, Lucas POV]

phryctoria bonus chapter 7 (marginalia and annotations of How To Have Sex in an Epidemic)

THE (no pressure) TAGS

@devondespresso @starryeyedjanai @xenon-demon @inairbinad @hellsfireclub @delta-piscium @steddielations @thefreakandthehair @skjachukson @steventhusiast -- and anyone else who wants to participate!

THE SNIPPET

uhhhh, I'm pretty sure most of the writing I've done in the past 7 days has already been shared in various asks (or my steddie microfic), so have a sneak peek at chapter 5 of phryctoria, which I spent a good chunk of today revising.

Robin yawns again, stretching her arms high above her head. “Absolutely worth it,” she says, sounding a bit smug.

Steve shakes his head, but can’t bite back the smile she brings to his face. He clicks back into a conscious awareness of their surroundings, and realizes they’re passing by Weathertop. (Try as he might to deny it, the kids’ names for locations around Hawkins have fixed themselves in his mind.) He pulls off and parks the beamer on the side of the road, circling around the front to pull Robin out of the passenger seat. “C’mon, Bobbin, we’ve got a hill to climb.”

Halfway up, Robin turns to him and starts flapping a hand against his chest. “Hey, hey! How’s that song go? The hills are alive, dah-da-dah daaah dah, you know?”

Steve smirks. “Aren’t your ears supposed to be little geniuses? Robs, the next lines are literally the title of the movie.”

“Pretty sure it was a musical first.”

“This does not actually help your case, you know that, right?”

“Whatever, dingus. Just tell me how the song goes.”

“You sure you wanna hear me sing?”

“Okay, you’ll notice how I didn’t say ‘sing how it goes for me,’ you could just tell me the words.”

“No, no, now you’re going to be subjected to the musical stylings of the Harrington family singers, because,” Steve leans into her space and starts singing, sickly sweet, “My heart wants to sing every soooong it hears.” His head is almost fully resting against Robin’s shoulder as he looks up at her with a shit eating grin.

“Oh, my god, get off me,” she says, shoving at him while she laughs.

He lets himself be pushed away, taking a couple of dramatic, stumbling steps away from her before righting himself and drifting back into her space. “You know the next lines have always been my favorite though?”

“Do you have the whole song memorized?!”

“...yeah?” Steve frowns at her. “Robs, it’s one of my favorite movies! I thought that’s why you asked!”

Robin shakes her head, looking at him a little dumbstruck. “Nope, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that little Harrington factoid.”

“Well…yeah. My mom really loved it, so I guess I just watched it a lot growing up? Especially when my dad was out of town—before she started going on the trips with him—because then we could sing along.”

Robin opens her mouth to say something, before seeming to make the conscious decision not to approach the whole ‘you couldn’t sing along to the movie about not being allowed to sing?’ thing with a ten foot pole, and snapping her mouth shut again. “Huh.” She takes a couple more striding steps forward with a pensive look on her face. “So...how does the next part go?”

He smiles at her, and even without being able to see his own face he can tell that it’s radiant. “My heart…wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees.” He looks at her, and he can feel the way his gaze has become just a little too intense.

“Birds, huh?” She knocks his shoulder with her own, a gentle smile on her face. “Yep. Always loved ‘em,” he says, his heart feeling a little gooey in his chest.

#wip wednesday #read writes #phryctoria #i maybe listened to the whole sound of music soundtrack on repeat yesterday

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pan-fried-autism · 10 months

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nikolai gets fired 3: fucka da government!!!

@bowlerhatwearer if you arent on the edge of your seat while reading this im flying out to austria city or whatever to throw pebbles at your house. ok :3

nikolai and grem were sat in the court of silverport city.

"all rise for the honourable judge pratt" said some guy.

everyone stood up as chris pratt in a judge wig sat up at the fuckin. judge stand thing. idk what its called.

"alright, losers, whats the problem" he said in that classic whte guy voice

nikolye stood up, looking like a smug dickhead in his southern lawyer getup.

"Catboy and Lame-o over there are being divorced by me, and yet theyre still being married." he boomed, pointing at the duo.

"so what are we doing today?"

"what we are doing," said chris hemsworth, grem and niks lawyer, "is deciding whether they should remain gay married, get gay divorced...

... or go to JAIL."

dun dun dun!

chris pratt shrugged, saying "okay lol. now will the plaintiff come to the stand."

nikolye swaggered up to the stand.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the truth, and the truth?" asked chris(topher) walken, who had become a pig.

"no." replied nikolye.

"thats fair"

nikolye began.

"well after i fired the lame defendant from his self employed job, i remembered that hes married to the cute i mean idiot dumb catboy defendant, which reminded me of... the past."

a single tear ran down his face, but nikolye took out his custom painted Desert Eagle and pistol whipped it away. he continued.

"anyway i didnt like it, so i collaborated with the VERY HONOURABLE missoury court system to divorce them, and sent them a polite letter telling them so. however, these BUTTHEADS wouldnt listen :("

everyone went "aww :(" at evil nikolai/nikolye's sad story. except grem and nik who were flipping him off.

"now, will the catboy come to the stand?" asked chris pratt.

"i have a name ya know" grem hissed as he went up to the stand. he also pushed over christopher walken.

"your honour", grem stated, "i'd like to make it clear to the court that me and my Nik-Nik can't get gay divorced because we are not in a gay marriage. case closed."

chris pratt blinked at them. "arent you both guys?"

"uh, yeah? but just because we're men who married each other, doesnt mean it's gay."

"could you explained to the court what that means?" asked chris evans, nikolye's lawyer.

"yeah. its not gay because neither me nor nikolai is gay."

pratt just stared down at the cat, deadpanning, "... mr akdow-mewton, i dont see how all that is relevant."

"i dont see how you got cast as mario."

pratt gasped in shock! "you take that back!!!!"

Nikolai had to hold himself back from facepalming as grem argued with judge pratt.

chris hemsworth was unable to hold himself back. as he facepalmed, he whispered to nikolai, "we're fucked, bro."

eventually chris pratt started throwing a tantrum and hit grem on the head with a gavel.

"get the hell back in your seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled.

grem jumped back to his seat, where he made the rizz face @ nikolai.

chris pratt cleared his throat and dried his wet eyes before he start talking normally again.

"well, after mr akdow-mewton hurt my feewings like that, i must admit im INCREDIBLY skewed towards mr nikolye bad-dow in this case..."

grem and nik hugged each other in fear.

"... but, perhaps, the lame defendant could help?"

nik stood up and took a deep breath. he had to try,

he got up to the stand and cleared his throat and spoke,

"you're honoure.... i know this man is technically me, but that give him no right to split me and my beloved strawberry up. in fact, NOBODY but us has the right to do that. the government hates the little people trying to live their lives, and you're interfering in my relationship! me and grem have a bond that goes beyond love... beyond marriage, probably! if one goes down, THE OTHER GOES WITH HIM!!!!!"

the courtroom was silent.

then the courtroom erupted in applause.

chris pratt slammed the gavel and happily announced, "i pronouncs you two NOT GUILTY of anything!!!"

confetti rained down from the ceiling as nikolai breathed a sigh of relief. christopher walken came up to him.

"young man, for that awesome speech, i want to give you something."

in christopher walkens hands were some SICK ASS SHOES. they were red with a white band down the middle and white cuffs on top and yellow buckles onn the side. nikolai immediately put on the shoes because they were sick as hell.

evil nikolai sheepishly walked up to grem, who glared at him.

"so uh... congrats on winning the court case" he said awkwardly. "want to get a drink? ill pay of course"

before grem could gut him, nikolai punched nikolye in the face before beating the shit out of him on the courtroom floor. the courtroom sat there and clapped like that one funny scene in evan gay lion.

afterwards, nikolai picked up grem bridal style and carried him out of the court room.

------------

the next day, nik woke up feeling weird.

"hey grem, does your hair feel weird and bristly or is it just me?" he asked his husband.

.... who wasnt there.

but there was a slip of paper.

nikolai read it, and IMMEDIATELY ran out of the house, still in his boring pajamas.

the note was a ransom note... signed E.N!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#nikolai gets fired #shit post

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beevean · 1 year

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I find funny how despite only following the Sonic Fandom from afar, I've seen so many comments abt ooc sonadow ever since my young DA days. They never caught a break from fandomization it seems (rip)

Sonic Adventure 2 came out in 2001. That gives us 22 years that Sonadow existed, and right around the time the internet was booming. Yeah.

Then you add how Shadow himself is immensely popular, at one point more popular than Sonic himself - he's cool, he's tragic, he's The Rival (plus the more underrated stuff like, you know, a delineate character arc spanning multiple games :P). Gay Rival Ships are inherently the most beloved ones of a work, regardless of their actual chemistry (I'm neutral/meh about Sonadow, but ask me how much Drarry leaves me baffled to this day lmaooooo). Who cares about keeping characters IC? That's hard. We just want to see our favorite characters smooching and fucking raw say sweet things to each other!

So yeah, fandomification is inevitable, and will always be, both back then when "yay gays sinning <3" and today when "my precious blorbos they're just like me fr fr <3"

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nothaalo · 2 years

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Agent 4 headcanons because I’m sobbing and I love him so much :((

———————————————

• An absolute fucking menace when it comes to playing video games

• He is so bad it actually hurts to watch him play

• You’d think he’d be good at playing, but jesus christ

• The only games he’s at least average at is Mario kart, Minecraft Animal Crossing

• He’s such a cutie

• Like, he’ll sneak his way in anyones heart no matter what

• Puts everyones feelings before his own (give him some love pls)

• Marie’s best friend. Always flexes about it too

• “yep my best friend is actually Marie from da Squid Sisters HAH!”

• Always makes sure everyone around him feels safe and heard

• Nicest person you’ll ever meet on fucking god

• Always joins Callie when she’s going shopping because he has nothing else better to do

• He might seem like a pushover and super happy all the time but he’s serious when he needs to and will tell people to fuck themselves if he needs to

• Curses way to much

• Like so badly

• Marie once ran after him with a bar of soap because he kept cursing in front of a whole room of kindergarteners

• Is surprisingly very good with children, but never wants to have his own because they’re “Too much”

• Lowkey wants children but never tells anyone

• Favourite bands are Diss-pair and Sashimori

• Super close with all the agents and captain 3. He loves all of them dearly

• Lowkey has a crush on Agent 8 but shhh you didn’t hear it from me

• Had a feeling that Agent 8 and Captain are a thing but never said anything

• Fucking freaked out about Deep Cut and swore that Big Man was his soulmate (Platonically)

• When he met Big Man he got so happy he nearly scared Big Man to death 💀💀

• Apologised so many times 😭😭

• He is so clingy it’s insane

• ^Constantly shits on Captain 3 for what^ Marie told him in Splatoon 2

• Almost got beat up 3 times while walking around Splatsville (Had to get picked up by Marie all three times and got scolded every single time)

• Is the only agent with a working sleeping schedule

• Since Agent 4 and Agent 8 live together he’s tried helping her with her sleeping schedule, but she always ends up messing it up 😭

• Agent 4 is the only agent who can cook (not including the squid sisters)

Bonus 8 headcanon

• Agent 8 is banned from the kitchen because she almost burned the house down one day so she always has to ask Agent 4 to cook for her

—————————————————————————————

• Has no fucking clue whats happening half the time but is just happy to be there

• Constantly gets called an airhead by everyone in the Squidbeak splatoon but is actually the smartest one there 😭💀

• Has Autism, ADHD and Dyslexia

• Left handed but constantly tries to write with his right hand

• Thought he was gay but Agent 8 made him go “Woah, wait”

• Transmasc and Bisexual

• He/Him king

• Fucking despises pickles but loves cucumbers

• Loves cats

• Japanese

• Goes by Asher or Ash

• Golden retriever boyfriend energy

• Favourite food is lasagna

• ^Had a Garfield hyperfixation^

• Loves Minecraft sm

• Made a server for the Squidbeak splatoon (even invited Craig Cuttlefish)

Thats it for today! Hope you enjoyed the Agent 4 Headcanons :]

I might do the others but no promises

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monriatitans · 4 months

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Ta-Da! List: Wednesday, June 5th

The image was made in Canva; check it out at the [referral] link here!

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, and other ADHD life hacks, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD.

Abbreviations

- MT: MonriaTitans - O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog - WGS: The Weekend Game Show - PMQ: Pride Month Quote - IG: Instagram - FB: Facebook - BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee - TDL: Ta-Da! List

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: - made emails manageable - filled out today’s TDL - WGS: the 3 scheduled PMQs posted ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the mobile phone: - WGS: shared the 3 PMQs to Hive ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the bedroom setup: - WGS: shared the 3 PMQs on Bluesky - O&T: shared today’s TDL to various social media - YouTube: watched and/or listened to Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)’s videos “Hate Raids” and “Earth’s Grindiest Heroes” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ on the office setup: - WGS: shared the 3 PMQs on Pinterest; added O&T’s IG and Threads to the WGS Carrd; deleted the FB Page; removed the IG and FB pages as connections from WordPress; replaced the WGS IG and FB links in Rumble, the WGS Linktr.ee, and the Legacy Social Media Icons Widget on the O&T blog with MT’s links - YouTube: watched and/or listened to: 1. LegalEagle’s video “Is It Legal To Ban TikTok? What Happens Next?” 2. heatherstudio’s videos “Etsy’s SECRET PROHIBITED Item List Every Seller Should Know” and “6 Strange Yet WILDLY PROFITABLE Niches on Etsy💸” 3. Jim Sterling (The Jimquisition)’s videos “Shady Sands”, “A Post-Nuclear Post-Mortem Of Fallout 76”, “A Lurid Post-Mortem Of Anthem”, “Hogwarts: A Legacy Of Hate”, “The Death Of E3 Celebration Special”, “I Was 100% Right About The Stupid Live Service Gold Rush”, “Marvels Avengers: The Disgrace That Was”, “Activision Blizzard And Industry Abuse: Burn It All Down”, and “The A.I. Tech Fad Is Just Compulsively Shady” 4. Starla Moore’s video “Etsy FINALLY has a Competitor” 5. Leeja Miller’s video “The Separation Of Church & State Is Eroding” 6. ContraPoints’ videos “Shame”, “Justice”, “Canceling”, and “‘Are Traps Gay?’” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ chores and miscellaneous: - Food: had coffee and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast; partner cooked chili for lunch and dinner; had chocolate chip cookies and Oreos for dessert - Chores: washed the bedspread

—

Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee(BMAC)! Like what you see and want to know when there’s more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! This post contains affiliate links.

Watch MonriaTitans on Twitch, YouTube, and Rumble! For more about MonriaTitans, click here!

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ancestorsofjudah · 11 months

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2 Kings 3: 26-27. "700 Swords."

Fury Against Israel

26 When the king of Moab saw that the battle had gone against him, he took with him seven hundred swordsmen to break through to the king of Edom, but they failed.

27 Then he took his firstborn son, who was to succeed him as king, and offered him as a sacrifice on the city wall. The fury against Israel was great; they withdrew and returned to their own land.

The First Born, the Fruits of the Actions are the next experience of the Self. In Judaism, the First Born comes with a bit more responsibility than just enduring the consequences of one's actions:

"The obligation to redeem the firstborn son rests upon the father. The mother has no responsibility to arrange for her son's redemption. The obligation on the father kicks in when the child reaches thirty days of age, and – in the event that the pidyon haben was not arranged in its proper time – continues until the child's bar mitzvah.

Once the child has reached the age of adulthood, the mitzvah transfers to him, and he is required to redeem himself from a kohen. (A rabbi should be consulted for the exact procedure for "self-redemption.")

If the father is unavailable to redeem his son for whatever reason – e.g., he is deceased or is not Jewish – technically no one is obligated to redeem the child until his bar mitzvah, at which point the child is required to redeem himself.

Nevertheless, the mother, a grandfather, or even the local Jewish community can redeem the child. (A rabbi should also be consulted in this situation, too, to advise as to the procedure of a "fatherless redemption.")"

The King of Moab, the King of Traditions saw his way of life, the fruits of the traditions, was about to end and Commitments were going to have to take precedence and he responded with hostility in such a manner society was not going to offer him a second chance.

This happens all around the world- here in America, we often recognize relgious traditions with precedence over the law. Pro-Life is an example. Pro-Life, forcing women to carry a pregnancy, forbidding access to contraception or abortions, has been illegal in the world for decades. But still we have allowed our lives to be disrupted immensely due to staunch refusal by some to yield first to the law and then to tradition.

The same is true about gay rights. Approximately 2 billion people identify as gay or confused. The law says they can marry a person of their own choosing. The law does not require we understand this, only to maintain our composure around it.

Where there is composure there is sound reason, and that is the idea behind rule of law, to legislate a composed approach to the unfolding of reality, right when it takes place.

So, Moab decided to live in the past, and cut off his future by killing his only son on the wall, the moment today turns into tomorrow. Many of us on this planet are quite like him.

The Gematria for this section are:

v. 26 the Value in Gematria for Seven Hundred Swordsmen is 2470, בדזאֶפֶס‎‎, in dzapes. "Irreverence of the words of peace."

From da za pesha, "This is the word we best translate into trespass. This specifically is used for sins that break trust in a relationship. If a nation breaks a treaty with another nation that is Pesha. Pesha also highlights the difference between being violated and being betrayed."

For the entire verse, the Value in Gematria is 9014, ץיד, "hunting."

The Hebrew word for hunter in tzaiad, which means the men went hunting for righteousness and respect in Edom, the Commitments.

From the complicated noun αιδως (aidos) means modesty, respect, humility or even shame.

v. 27 the Value in Gematria is 12856, יבחה‎ו‎, "he will escape." The Hebrew word for escape is malat.

"The verb מלט (malat) describes the removal of an internal thing from a larger confining thing, and that usually through a small hole or other opening. Our verb may describe the laying of an egg (Isaiah 34:15) or the birthing of a child (Isaiah 66:7).

But it may also describe how someone removes himself from a formal function or engagement via a concocted excuse (1 Samuel 20:29), or from a predicament through the perforated ranks of an enclosing enemy army (Judges 3:29, 1 Kings 18:40, Jeremiah 46:6).

Our verb often describes an extraction, or a removal from a confining predicament through the efforts of an external savior, in which it is implied that the savior somehow reach in, grabbed the target and pulled him out (Proverbs 11:21, Ecclesiastes 9:15, Daniel 12:1, Ezekiel 33:5).

Obviously, the subject of this verb is frequently the Lord (Job 22:30, Psalm 22:5)."

The Tradition, which in this case was the offering of two hundred thousand youths to the Kings of Israel for tribute was not observed by the King of Moab. This was the agreement. He kills his son instead. How insane is that?

The issue has become quite blurry and now the King of Israel, who was legally correct, looks like kind of a schmuck. Hopefully the King of Edom. his friend, will be able to bail him out of what has become an absolute debacle.

The Gematria for "fury against Israel is not at all hopeless however. The Number is 1139, יא‎גט "will get" and indicates God will respond with Fury of His own:

"The verb עשה ('asa I) is the common Hebrew verb to do or make. It should be distinguished from the verbs ברא (bara) meaning to create something that wasn't there before, יצר (yasar), meaning to fashion something that was already there in some rudimentary form, and פעל (pa'al), which tends to describe one's moral deeds. The verb עשה ('asa) differs additionally in that this verb allows the making of some kind of deed (hence: doing), such as a commandment.

Apart from conveying the meanings contained in our English verb "to do", this wonderful verb works like a virtual engine in a wide range of expressions: do mightily, do efficiently, do a work, exercise power or sovereignty, do evil, do kindness, to deal with, etcetera.

The verb is also used to mean to make or fashion, to bring about something, to destroy something, to produce something, to prepare, to attend, to observe or celebrate, to acquire, to appoint, ordain or institute, to use or to spend.

Besides the strictly creative verb ברא (bara), our verb עשה ('asa) is frequently used in the creation account or references thereto.

An expectable derivation of our verb is the masculine noun מעשה (ma'aseh), meaning deed or act, with again as many colors and hues as the parent verb (Genesis 5:29, Exodus 5:4, Psalm 115:4, Isaiah 2:8)."

The Melachim, written long ago has some advice that is truly pertient to the present times: Israel must assert its sovereignty over the immoral traditions of this world and "mightily, efficiently make over the world from one that does evil into one that does good."

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nityarawal · 1 year

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Aloha- PD Christopher Stapleton once again forgot to send us paperwork and on upcoming one. He said he'll rebook in 2 weeks but ghosted us all once again- along with his 80 clients he's currently terrorizing with gay defense colleagues.

I really feel these unprofessional silencers have reflected badly on my family & I on gay defense team Dr. Sunil fraternises with from Cambridge.

My legal medical team has begun to think PD/DA office has made a mockery of court bribes on smear campaign!

Do these mock courts dates really exist? Clerks and office managers never see them and often hang up on us!

Dusty is only nice one & promised Sandiego PDs would dismiss charges! As Did supervisor Kristen Scogin- who ordered her boss Michael Ruiz and his niece/daughter (who just got promoted to her old phone) to do it.

Kristen said in so many words- she'd love to meet my son in juvenile courts and hopes to groom him as a criminal if he really wants to see his mommy. Isn't that disgusting?

Just like Scott Peters - our Congressman ordered her and PDs to stop civil war on my family and called it an emergency for legal aid to solve in 2021.

Instead, my head was advertised as dead while cops & nurses were bribed to kill me.

They Hurt Me.

Lori Clark Viviano is dead as a result if her parasitic condition as are all her Attorney orders. She would've been murdered in care court anyways so scuba/shark legend her daughters disclosed was probably her best escape.

I do need real Dr's.

And my kids were hurt worse.

This is a crime & a sin against humanity to employ such wrecklessly stupid and incompetent staff.

How can thousands of dumb officers miss an expiration date on a contract?

A Judge, a clerk and atty/prosucotor/DA for 6 whole years?

Yet they beat and rape mom kids daily due to their error of judgements & fail meticulous attention to detail.

They don't know know, understand nor respect law and California constitution. They need to be estranged from state and return 40% campers assets NOW + all assets to my charities.

Mr Stapleton's receptionist Dusty and team said no court was on calender both times on day of 4/3/23 of court at PD Vista office.

Mr. Stapleton called me hours late to say he'd do his job for 10th time & send docs follow up with all suppaned.

Would you believe pedos after 6 years? No.

They're all violent rapists.

Believe #FreeBritney & I.

We're not dead!

Not probates and ww Demand national association of realtors to mediate /arbitrate reperations now as is our right- and correct records today to reflect every demand we made of Dr. RAWAL & #FreeBritney pedos at courts implemented.

Every PD, atty & Dr. I've worked with has found court functionally obsolete & was scared to do job appropriately.

I'm not dead nor should British turned gay x husband be privy to advertise my head as a probate in smear campaign after his attys investigator tried to kill me several times! 1st with head injury at mediator Abi Odam's house on Cordero in Del Mar in 2017 a month after divorce with no dissolution finalised by crooks of courts.

It's a silencing.org scam with violent pedos that shouldn't be privy to kids. Ever.

I'm not propagating slavery ponzi scam any longer.

This is not my platform. Not my cause.

It's an obsolete medium we contest, appeal and reject with every ounce of our Being as mothers.

I need all assets restored today, plus damages and my children/homes.

Dr. Cash-

Did my prescriptions come through at requested pharmacy?

Could you check?

Honestly I'm better educated than any IEHP Blue Shield, court Dr's & need to Mother my family now.

I proved competency so you all have alot of work to do now to jump & settle.

I'm sick of court's Trafficking games exploiting us and millions in ww3 weaponising yogi/singer families for sordid kidnappings/rapes/forced drugs!

Mr. Stapleton has been promising to do his job and read files for years on real estate/insurace/car/family federal ponzi scam with incompetent legal teams.

He didn't send written notice on any court dates!

He offered 2 more weeks to everyone on suppanae- but honestly he just wants to milk my community on expired orders and he and colleagues have proved their all too bugged up with parasites, foul play and Sordid conditions to function competently in a professional manner.

I'm concerned they will witchhunt whole community in hollocoast. We only do phone courts now They're all so sick with covid 3 bugs!

These orders they hope to contest have been expired for over a year now.

Truth is: all involved need to be charged with several attempts on life- murders of landladies, colleagues and whistleblowing on gay pedo cop squad selling us out on dark web/mafia/militia/AI.

It's pathetic to witness many government employees coerced into sex slavery, drugs, Germ warfare, filthy, 3rd world institutions and functionally obsolete breakdown of law & constitution.

No one wants pedo atty plea bargains, Gag orders or murders.

Charge Dr. Singh & x for attempted murder now.

I need my kids!

WTF is wrong with court?

None of them should ever be parents again.

Outlaw gay men's custody.

Who wants me to petition and protest with Kim Reynolds on this with Iowa? Marianne & Tulsi do you need help?

We need Muses to get best female president that mothers glove responsibly, rather than enslaving people by Nazis!

Moving now!

They violated mothers with gay marriage privilege in CA courts and they shouldn't be allowed to marry.

They exploited legal loophole and murdered billions more moms than Hitler even did!

America went big transing 600k men too. They have 4000 eunuchs jailed in Iran. Stop it!

When is American leaders going to lift in house domestic terrorism on mixed #HalfPersianLivesMatter here by UK Marine spy faggots????

Leave me and my family alone!

We need reperations on every Huntley/Rawal property ever owned.

Send Dr. SUNIL CHRISTOPHER RAWAL BACK TO #PRINCEOFPEGGING UK TO BE WARD OF THEIR COURT AND CARETAKE PATRICIA JONES RAWAL CAMPBELL.

ALOS: Need A sober pharmacist that cares in Idyllwild.

Seeing Dr's all over California here. Please Zell for damages on pharmacist & dr's gross ignorance about fungus and parasites- he cost me 20 months of health with gross ignorance.

I'd like to press charges on behalf of all hikers, campers & locals.

Every guy in Idyllwild claims he has jock itch and was discriminated against! Blue balls around beautiful women and act like rude hornball addicts as result!

Jim- pharmacist actually has half a row of anti-fungal creams; but is often too drunk to appropriately direct people. Now I know what it's called and often sold as athletes foot cream- Mommies heal yourselves & kids!

30% of Americans have ringworm and don't know it!

Please be careful travelling and heal kids rather than allow rape on drug warfare! They don't have adhd or nightmares that any drug can heal- Mommies hugs are remedy with herbal wisdom!

My Children & I can get everything we need with best professionals outside of California.

Settle Lexus Lemon, Rewind, Rawal Ventures/consulting, blueshield/IEHP/Obama Care & 20+ homes today etc. for our #FreeBritney kids & I! Xo

Thankyou!

We are leaving! Bon voyage!

Merci!

Nitya Huntley Rawal

Sammy & Brit are a beautiful couple. Tabloids sound paid by bad PR. I'm in twitter jail this week for writing her!):

They're blackballing Persians for political scams. Stay strong Mammas!

Thankyou for your support of all Royals getting trashed by pedo defense team! Why did Jamie have kids? To Groom his son to be a pedo and brand his daughters? People like that shouldn't have kids! Laws!?! @elonmusk

Are Jamie #Kfed and Britney's brother gay?

He wants to turn his daughter into her x's gay trophy slave.

Her attys ate disgusting pigs! Only Good thing in her life is Sam! I pray she gets privilege of having #HalfPersianLivesMatter baby without anymore in-house domestic terrorism. This is slanted journalism. We want peace and love. Jamie can shove his war up his ass. Mammas globally have had enough of their pedo agenda at courts! Send #PrinceOfPegging back to England please!

@britneyspears we love you #BritneyIfUrReadingThis

Call me & lets get our kids- celebrate! Youre not a dead probate- nor am I - amd no one should be advertising murder prices on our heads!

America went to 3rd wotld shit & queen is bringing it back! Thankyou!!!!

xoxo

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awakefor48hours · 2 years

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I was thinking about the live action Little Mermaid movie and a sudden realization hit me: it will be review bombed to death. There’s already so much BS coming from white supremacists about how Disney ruined the Little Mermaid by casting Halle Bailey as Ariel instead of a white woman (this is where I would like to remind you all that the original Little Mermaid story is actually based on a queer man’s unrequited feelings for his friend who fell in love with a woman, so if we want to actually talk about keeping the Little Mermaid close to the original source material then we need to make it gay).

Sources: [x]//[x]//[x]

I also want to bring up the fact that people have already review bombed Lightyear to death simply because Chris Evans did the voice for Buzz and not Tim Allen (a lot of it happened before people knew there a gay kiss). People also review bombed Turning Red because pads were not only spoken but were shown on screen. So imagine how bad it’s going to be when the white supremacist that worship a white washed Jesus (this is where I would also like to remind you all that white Jesus is based on Leonardo Da Vinci’s boyfriend). So I’m begging you to please give it a 5 star review even if you think it’s a charitable 3/5 to help counterbalance.

It’s also so important that this movie succeeds because it means that Disney will do more of it. The reason why is because Disney is money hungry and if they see that a casting a woman that was originally white was a bad idea, they’ll do it less. It’s important that more POC are in the spotlight for the future.

In addition to the reactions of seeing a black Ariel, I want to use my own life as an example:

In 2009, I was watching TV with my mom and a very well known fact about my mom is that she hates commercials. She gets upset if a commercial is on for 10 seconds. But one time in 2009 while I was fast forwarding, my mom made me stop and rewind to watch a trailer that peaked her interest. That trailer was for the Princess and the Frog. It was love at first sight and every time we would watch TV as a family, she always made us rewind to watch the trailer for the Princess and the Frog because Tiana was the first black princess ever. Tiana was the first princess that looked like my mom.

Then you have yesterday when I showed my mom the trailer for the Little Mermaid, she was holding back tears with the largest smile when she saw Halle Bailey’s face.

To use another example, in Moon Knight, when Layla became Taweret’s avatar/the Scarlet Scarab, this happened

[ID: a tweet by Mohamed diab, director for Moon Knight, that reads “Since my daughter was 4, she wanted to straighten her hair. She never saw someone who looked like her in the media. Today this changes with LAYLA, the first Egyptian superhero. Proud to be a part of it!” underneath on the left is picture of Layla as Scarlet Scarab in episode 6 and on the right is a picture of his daughter.]

There’s reasons why I constantly bring up the fact that I’m a black woman. It’s important because I want to spread as much awareness about how isolating my childhood was and if it means that one less person has to grow up like me, I feel like I can leave this mortal coil with some peace.

PLEASE don’t let this movie flop, I beg of you.

#the little mermaid #little mermaid #halle bailey #representation #disney #representation is important

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sonechkaandthedynamos · 3 years

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hi Sofia! do you have any list of your favorite movies or what you recommend in general? ♥️

Hi! Thank you for asking <3 Here are some of my absolute favourites (in chronological order). It's going to be a long one:

Silent cinema: I really like Alice Guy-Blaché's work (you can find a lot of her short films on youtube), as well as Lotte Reiniger's films. I liked The Phantom Carriage (Körkarlen, 1921), Charlie Chaplin of course (City Lights <333) and German Expressionism is one of my favourite artistic movements of all time, so I would also recommend The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari, 1919), Metropolis (1927) and the ones starring the one and only Louise Brooks: Diary of a lost girl (Tagebuch einer verlorenen, 1929) and Pandora's Box (Die Büchse der Pandora, 1929).

Golden Age of Hollywood: To be or not to be (1942), Arsenic and Old Lace (1944), All about eve (1950), A streetcar named desire (1951) (brilliant acting, the tension, the horror...!!!), The Apartment (1960) (Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine are perfect in this one)

Hitchcock: my personal favourites are Spellbound (1945), Rope (1948) and Strangers on a train (1951)

Audrey Hepburn: Roman Holiday (1953), Sabrina (1954), my absolutely criminally underrated favourite Love in the Afternoon (1957) and Charade (1963)

French New Wave: Hiroshima Mon Amour (1959), Le Bonheur (1965) (I want to watch more Varda films)

Truffaut, my beloved: all the Antoine Doinel films, Jules et Jim (1962)

G*dard: Breathless (À Bout de Soufflé, 1960) and Pierrot le Fou (1965) (Jean-Paul Belmondo makes these films, honestly), Masculin Féminin (1966) (Jean-Pierre Léaud and Chantal Goya are perfect, and I have "les enfants de Marx et du Coca-Cola" tattooed in my brain).

Ingmar Bergman: (I have only seen a couple) The Seventh Seal (Det sjunde inseglet, 1957), The Devil's eye (Djävulens öga, 1960) (I remember laughing a lot with this one. I watched it for research and it did not disappoint. One of my favourite interpretations of Don Juan, hands down.)

Fellini: (idem) one of my favourite films ever is 8 1/2 (1963), but I liked La Dolce Vita (1960), too. Would recommend :)

Czechoslovak New Wave: I loved every single one that I have seen. Věra Chytilová and Juraj Herz give me life: Black Peter (Černý Petr, 1963), Something Different (O něčem jiném, 1963), Daisies (Sedmikrásky, 1966), The Cremator (Spalovač mrtvol, 1969) (one of my absolute favourites), The Ear (Ucho, 1970)

Mel Brooks: The Producers (1967), Blazing Saddles (1974). Some of the funniest films I have ever seen. Dark humour done right.

John Cassavetes and Peter Falk cinematic universe: Husbands (1970), Mikey and Nicky (1976). I wouldn't be who I am today without these. I have a lot to say about how the films and its characters are constructed but this is just a list so I'll leave the rambling for another post.

Misc. USAmerican cinema from the 60s and 70s: The Gay Deceivers (1969) (watched it because of the meme, stayed because of everything else), Cabaret (1972) (my favourite musical ever).

70s soviet cinema: Office Romance (Служебный роман, 1977). I know, I know. It's the only film with this plot that I like, and the fashions are top notch.

Kubrick: my faves are Dr Strangelove (1964), A clockwork orange (1971), the criminally underrated Barry London (1975) and Eyes Wide Shut (1999) (I liked Schnitzler's novella, too, but Nicole Kidman is just radiant in this film).

Buñuel: I liked Un perro andaluz (1929) and Viridiana (1961), but my absolute fave is The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie, 1972) (I am patiently waiting for Fernando Rey to become tumblr's new it girl)

80s shenanigans (USAmerican): Moonstruck (1987) (Cher and young Nicholas Cage, what more do you want), Heathers (1988) (Winona Ryder and Christian Slater <333)

80s yugo: (I have to watch more of them, I know) Who's singin' over there? (Ko to tamo peva, 1980) (I will gladly write an essay about the structure of this film, the use of the singers as both bards/storytellers and characters is absolutely brilliant and seamless <333)

Perestroika: Flights in dreams and in reality (Полеты во сне и наяву, 1982) (the only mid-life crisis movie that I like, and I'm forever in love with Oleg Yankovsky's acting), Nostalghia (1983) (I'm not a Tarkovsky girl yet but I'll get to it), Courier (Курьер, 1986) (as someone has already pointed out, manic pixie dream boy representation <3 also Anastasiya Nemolyaeva is so good in this film)

Period dramas: Little Women (1994) (Greta Gerwig's version did some things better, but overall I prefer this one), Sense and sensibility (1995), Pride and Prejudice (2005), Persuasion (2007) (Sally Hawkins as Anne Elliot!!!), A royal affair (En kongelig affære 2012) (I mean it’s Mads Mikkelsen and Alicia Vikander. Also Mikkel Følsgaard. In short, bi panic the movie), The Favourite (2018), Emma (2020).

Wong Kar-Wai: I loved Fallen Angels (1995) and especially In The Mood for Love (2000) (one of my favourite films ever, every rewatch changes me as a person)

90s misc.: Eat, Drink, Man, Woman (1994) (also one of my faves, and my icon, which I get asked about every other month, is from this film), Brother (Брат, 1997) (brilliant, Sergei Bodrov is so good in it. Don't talk to me about the second film though).

2000s timeless faves: Bend it like Beckham (2002) (need I say more), The Devil wears Prada (2006), Mamma Mia (2008) (I didn't like the sequel though), 500 days of summer (2009) (my misunderstood darling)

Wes Anderson: my absolute favourites are The Darjeeling Limited (2007) (both underrated and misunderstood imo) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (one of my favourite films of all time)

Other 2010s faves: Ex Machina (2015) (and I say this as someone who doesn't love sci-fi), Knives Out (Daniel Craig having fun <3)

That's it for now I think

#i am trying to expand my taste #but these are my currents faves #thank you anon!#i had a lot of fun making this list #long post #films #cinema #personal #i didn't add a lot of golden age of hollywood films bc although i like many #i would consider few to be my favourite films of all time

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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Funny, Crack and Humour Fics (Part 1)

I’ve been reading your johnlock fan fic recs for quite sometimes and it had been amazing!!

Can you suggest me some fics which are funny and smutty?or just fun to read?

(submitted by @eclecticcolordreamhairdo)

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jonlokfe asked: Hi Steph, do you have a fan fiction Johnlock humor? O partys with scotland yard?

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Hi Lovelies!

Ahh, I’ve gotten a lot of requests lately for funny fics, and I’ve decided to finally just update it. I did a list a LONG time ago, but just never updated it since then. So I guess that’s what I’m doing this time around!

Because I have SO MANY FICS that all the links disappeared, I’m going to release this list in 2 Parts: First half is today, and next weekend I’ll post up the other half of the list <3

So enjoy this week’s list: the shorter fics :)

FUNNY, CRACK, and HUMOUR FICS (Part 1)

See also: Funny and Fluffy Stories

This Kiss by suitesamba (T, 731 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drunkenness, Angst, Stag Night) – Stag Night - back at 221B - in a world where Mrs. Hudson doesn’t interrupt the guessing game with the client. Part 1 of The “This” Series

Reunited by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 753 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Reunion) – Everything is falling right back into place, but it’s just a little too quick for John. One-shot, drabble, non-slash.

Cigarettes and Shampoo by laura0506 (T, 783 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John goes to the shops to meet someone he wasn’t supposed to.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital… again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

A Need To Know Basis by mattsloved1 (G, 934 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance) – As the cab door shut firmly, the DI had yelled out they were to make an appearance at Scotland Yard the next day. It was while John watched London pass by that it happened.

Tidying Up by mattsloved1 (K+, 951 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John comes home to a thoroughly cleaned flat. Or so it seems.

Realisation by Susie.Donym (K+, 957 w., 1 Ch. || Sally POV, Pre-Slash / Friendship, Humour) – It takes her a while but Sally finally makes a huge realisation.

Texts and Tea by JillianWatson1058 (K, 959 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Texting, Humour, Fluff, POV John, Cranky John) – A John who is woken up at 2:30 in the morning is not a happy John. Sherlock, frankly, doesn’t care. He just wants his tea.

My Unfortunately Average Sized Cranium by Haelia (K+, 996 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Headache, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Drug Use, Doctor John) – In which Sherlock has a migraine. ALMOST Johnlock. Not quite.

Secrets by 796116311389 (G, 1,084 w., 1 Ch. || Drunk Sherlock, Drunk Confessions, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, Pining Sherlock) – “He is the best person in the world and sometimes I get sad because I’m not. Not his best person.”

Mizzle by MrsNoggin (K, 1,233 w., 1 Ch || Friendship, Fluff, Platonic Johnlock, Humour, Slice of Life) – John can’t decide if it’s raining or not. Sherlock doesn’t understand.

Hallucinations can’t open doors by Bespectacled dreamer (K+, 1,330 w., 1 Ch. || Reunion, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Hallucinations, John’s Wedding, Light Humour) – In which John gets married and Sherlock gets a broken nose.

God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, 1,398 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Mystery, Friendship) – Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.

Out on da pull by I-O-U-a-picture (T, 1,375 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship) – John going ‘out on da pull’ and getting so close to getting digits so many times but Sherlock just conveniently keeps turning up prattling on about eyeballs in the microwave…

Three Ways Sherlock Conformed to His Stereotype by Jennistar1 (K+, 1,445 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Cranky Sherlock) – “It’s a hat.” / Urge to roll eyes, quashed. “Yes. I can see that.” / “It’s called a deerstalker.”

You Should Have Let Me Sleep! by theraggedypond (T, 1,542 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Sleepy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Domestics) – After a three day case with no sleep and hardly any food, Sherlock is recovering from it by playing comatose. John finds out what happens when you wake up London’s favorite consulting detective.

Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K, 1,580 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, John’s Birthday, Shopping, 3rd Person POV John) – When an important date comes up, Sherlock finds himself doing something he never has before - shopping! But will he succeed and manage to get his best friend a present?

and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, 1,662 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Est. Rel. Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he’s ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it…

You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, 1,780 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Family, Introspection, Fluff, Post-ASIP) – Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft’s words.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John’s BAMFness and Sherlock’s damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

The Video Footage by bitchinblackframedglasses (K, 1,894 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Fluff, ASiB Missing Scene) – What exactly DID Lestrade film Sherlock doing in A Scandal in Belgravia? Sherlock wants to know, and John tells him.

The Adventure of the Mysterious Appearance of Tissues by Gwen’s Blue Box (K+, 1,910 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Sick John, Caring Sherlock, Hurt/Comfort) – In which there is a case, John has caught a cold and is not interested in investigating, Mrs Hudson is away and Sherlock does the shopping.

Baskerville After Dark by Ttime42 (T, 1,921 w., 1 Ch. || THoB, Friendship, Humor, Bed Sharing, Missing Scenes, Cranky John, Cuddles) – John and Sherlock have to share a bed at Baskerville. Gen, but can be preslash.

Text Me When It’s Over by immaculately-flawed (K+, 1,937 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Post-TRF, Texting, Sort-Of Pining Sherlock) – After the fall Sherlock starts writing texts to John. Of course, he never sends them… Until he does by accident. Post Reichenbach fic but not angsty.

Cards by Caighlee (K+, 1,954 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Games) – Sherlock has been without a case for a few days and Molly’s suggested experiment - something with a pig head (ew) - is losing it’s appeal. Can John come up with something that’ll distract Sherlock for a bit longer? And how did John pull off that card trick? Sherlock’ll never know because a magician never tells a secret. Except maybe when faced with a smiling Consulting Detective.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

They’re Taking My Wisdom by whitchry9 (K+, 1,939 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Drugging, Dentists, Friendship, Anxious Sherlock, Humour) – Sherlock goes to the dentist. Of course, being Sherlock, things have to be complicated. Oh and drugs. They’re always fun.

Foresight by niffler09 (K, 2,015 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Holmes Brother Bickering) – It’s raining and neither John nor Sherlock have an umbrella so they huddle under Sherlock’s coat. And then Mycroft walks past and makes smartass remarks.

Caught in the Act – by Mycroft by ShirleyCarlton (E, 2,040 w., 1 Ch. || Unintended Voyeurism, Mycroft’s POV, Blow Job, Humour) – Mycroft had only planted the camera for Sherlock’s own good, simply to keep an eye on his little brother and make sure he was alright. He hadn’t quite meant to see his brother this content, however… Part 4 of Caught In The Act

Never Have I Ever by Hannelore-Grace (T, 2,073 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drinking Games) – In which the Yarders, Sherlock, and John play the time-honored drinking game.

Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, 2,107 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Texting, Bored/Cranky Sherlock) – In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?

The Imminent Danger of a Tumblr-Night by Loveismyrevolution (T, 2,135 w., 1 Ch. || Tumblr Fics, Friends to Lovers, Sherlock is Out of His Depth, Humour, Fluff, Pining Sherlock, Military Kink, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock gets into trouble when he pretends to know all about John’s favourite social media site - tumblr. To save face he seeks help from one of the bloggers and gains more answers than he had aimed for.

At Least Make It Interesting by amythedork (K, 2,140 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Angst) – “You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. For the love of God, if you’re going to leave a message, at least make it an interesting one. If this is Mycroft, then piss off.” / A series of voicemails John left Sherlock throughout their time together.

The Case of the Missing Blogger by nicknack22 (K, 2,147 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Friendship, Worried / Anxious Sherlock) – Alternately titled, The Case of the Oblivious Consulting Detective. In which Sherlock comes out of his mind palace to discover John missing. 221B does not fair well as a result.

Spilt Milk by Erin Giles (K+, 2,222 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John comes back from a trip to the supermarket only to take a trip up the stairs. Both shopping and blood are spilled leaving Sherlock to play the role of Doctor.

A Study in Lace by KarlyAnne (E, 2,320 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Crafty Sherlock, Tiny Lace Panties / Lingerie, Domestics, Experiments, Oral, Masturbation) – “Why do you suppose he was doing that?” “Why do I suppose who was doing what?” “The room. The lace. The secrecy. He was playing with fire in everything he did, and didn’t care one bit. But he had a secret chamber, carefully concealed, solely for the purpose of making lace lingerie. Obviously for personal use. Why?“ Part 1 of The Unintentional Crafts of Sherlock Holmes

Reunions, Rowdiness and Phone Calls by Jennistar1 (T, 2,348 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drunk John, Low-Key Pining Sherlock) – John goes on a school reunion and gets drunk. Sherlock solves some crimes and gets some interesting phone calls.

Work On Your Balance by speculate (K+, 2,448 w., 1 Ch. || Embarrassed Sherlock, “For A Case”, Skating, Fluff, Friendship, Humour) – In which John is actually pretty good at ice skating, Sherlock’s not and insists it’s all for a case , and Lestrade is pretty amused by it all.

Wintery Hell by Belldere (K+, 2,457 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship & Humour, Christmas) – With Sherlock being roped into spending Christmas with his family, John had his own Christmas all planned out with his other friends and family… That is until he’s extended a forceful invitation from Mycroft and an assumption from Sherlock who, once again, failed to notice John wasn’t in the room when he 'asked’.

Manipulation by sixbynine (K+, 2,566 w., 1 Ch. || Experimenting John, Reverse Psychology) – John Watson is not as unobservant as Sherlock thinks, nor is he above using what he knows. Even if it is just to make sure Sherlock eats and sleeps.

Not Rocket Science by Nitrospira (T, 2,571 w., 1 Ch. || Drama, Humour) – Sherlock and John Watson are handcuffed to a bed while investigating a double homicide on the International Space Station. But Sherlock isn’t sure which is more tedious: a killer on the loose or John’s endless complaints.

Nothing Left Untouched by ForeverShippingJohnlock (K+, 2,617 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Romance, Bed Sharing, Oblivious Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Grumpy John, Fluff and Cuddles) – Sherlock rearranges the flat. So what if John’s bedroom is now a research library. It’s not like John needs a bedroom, he can share with Sherlock. They’re friends and John has obviously slept in close quarters with men before and it’s not like Sherlock sleeps much anyway. It’ll be fine.

Insomnia by TheSingingGirl (K+, 2,635 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Humour, Bed Sharing, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sleep is merely the next frontier in what has become the battle to keep Sherlock alive. It’s because of this that John ends up in bed with a sociopath.

John’s Drawers by JezebelGoldstone (T, 2,646 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, First Kiss, Romance, Humour) – Sherlock snoops through John’s drawers and finds something… unexpected.

BBCSH 'The Comfort of Company’ by tigersilver (T, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF/Mary, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Bed Sharing, Grumpy John, Touching, Clingy/Handsy Sherlock, Cranky Sherlock, Fluff and Light Angst) – It’s a trope that John and Sherlock end up sharing in the same bed eventually and I admit I do adore it unconditionally, along with all it infers as to the lowering of defenses and the heightening of trust. I put forth for your consideration that the notion persists because those who think about these things realize these two men are each in dire need of some good company.

Bored Games by patster223 (K+, 2,769 w., 1 Ch. || Cluedo / Board Games, Friendship, Humour) – Sherlock is bored and John decides that they should play Cluedo. In retrospect, it was a truly awful decision.

Your love it feels so good by Hotaru_Tomoe (E, 2,843 w., 1 Ch. || Gay Club / Gay Bar, Lingerie, Stripping, Anal, Crossdressing, Strip Tease, First Time) – Sherlock is last at a quiz night and is forced by Anderson to perform in a gay stripclub. John must be with him, because he will have to record the performance. Sherlock takes the task very seriously. Part 20 of The English job

Tipsy by katkin (T, 2,781 w., 2 Ch. || Humour, Friendship, Drunk Sherlock) – "I love everyone in this room,” he announced proudly.“I know you do, buddy,” John replied “Which is why you’re going to clean this carpet in the morning. Because you’re a good friend.” “I am a good friend!” Sherlock agreed.

All in a Day by chappysmom (K+, 2,920 w., 1 Ch. || Kidnapping, Sherlock POV, Humour, Light Angst, BAMF John) – Oddly enough, it seemed like this time, Sherlock had been kidnapped for no other reason than to pressure John. In other words, this had nothing to do with him. Really, this on top of the blow to the head was enough to make him dizzy.

33 by Indigo Blue.x (K+, 2,936 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – “I haven’t made a zombie,” Sherlock says scathingly, which would be more convincing if there were not a zombie in the flat.

Right Foot Red by Irrevocably_Sherlocked (E, 3,089 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss/Time, Board Games, Frottage, Masturbation, PWP, Friends to Lovers, Come as Lube, Come Marking) – …ok, it’s juvenile, but at least it’s a game where touching is allowed. And if something more were to happen, well, John can’t say he’d be too upset about that. “What are the rules of this game?” Sherlock asks, the disdain evident on the word ‘game’. “I spin, you do as I say.” John thinks he sees a slight widening of those pale grey eyes at that, just for a fraction of a second, before it is shut down. Oh, this is interesting, he thinks.

The Sweetest Taste In The World by crossroads (G, 3,121 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Jealous Sherlock, Fluff, Pining, Friends to Lovers) – The sweetest taste in the world is rarely ever the easiest to come by.

How to Court Your Blogger by PipMer (K+, 3,124 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock Holmes sets out to court his flatmate. Things might progress more rapidly if he would inform said flatmate of his intentions.

Entanglement by orphan_account (G, 3,218 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Confessions, Physics, Texting, Christmas, Mind Palace, Sick Fic, Fluff, Humour, Holidays) - On Christmas Eve, snow covers London, John visits Harry, and Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson untangle some knots.

Bathroom Accessories by Evenlodes_Friend (E, 3,324 w., 1 Ch. || Sex Toys, Butt Plug, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Horny Sherlock, John’s Patience Wears Thin, Humour, Bottomlock) – John discovers that Sherlock has been playing with some very adult toys in the bath.

Apodyopsis by QuinnAnderson (E, 3,347 w.,1 Ch. || PWP, Rough Sex, Table Sex, Anal, Sexual Tension) – Apodyopsis: (æpəʊdaɪˈɒpsɪs) noun. the act of mentally undressing someone. Part 2 of Undressed

Twas The Night by xox-hattii-xox (K+, 3,356 w., 1 Ch. || Humour & Friendship, Christmas, Domestics, Fluff) – Twas the night before Christmas…and Sherlock has had just about enough of the whole thing! 'Really, John, a Santa Hat’ Christmas in 221b, and Sherlock just wants it over with.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, 3,614 w., 1 Ch. || Asexual Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Sharing Body Heat) – In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics

Doesn’t Follow Me Everywhere by Janec Shannon (T, 3,784 w., 1 Ch. || Humour and Friendship) – “He doesn’t follow me everywhere, you know.” Silly John, of course he does what with your penchant for getting kidnapped.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Possessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E, 3,834 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Public Sex, Coming in Pants, Humour, Halloween, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.

Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice (E, 3,897 w.,1 Ch. || Virgin Sherlock, First Time, Anal/Oral, Seduction, John in Charge, Pining Sherlock, John’s Penis, Bottomlock) – Sherlock is putting together an elaborate plan of seducing John. John grows tired of waiting and takes matters into his own hands.

Jukebox by standbygo (T, 3,990 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Singing/Music, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Humour, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss) – After the music halls of Sherlock’s mind palace get damaged by accident, John learns that Sherlock never forgets a song. Even the ones he’d rather forget. But the random singalong brings some unexpected benefits.

Tree Topper by May_Shepard (E, 4,017 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Tree, Christmas Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Smut, First Time, Friends to Lovers) – Sherlock and John are celebrating Christmas the best way they know how–alone together, with booze. They’ve almost finished decorating their tree, but John is determined to find the best way to top it.

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Sherlock Holmes and the Mysterious Piercing by Lorelei_Lee (E, 4,130 w., 1 Ch. || Travelling, Sherlock is Loud, Secrets, Genital Piercing, First Time, Licking, Coming Nearly Untouched) – John discovers by chance that Sherlock has a piercing. To his surprise John can’t stop thinking about it…

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It’s John and Sherlock’s first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J’s Tumblr Ficlet Collection

The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, 4,553 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG, Friendship, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Light Humour/Teasing, Alternating POV, Cranky Sherlock) – If he hadn’t been so focused on holding the bastard still, John would have laughed aloud. This maniac really thought John was the pet in this dynamic?

Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb (E, 4,578 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cuddles, Kissing, First Kiss, Requited Love, Pining Sherlock) – John is entirely done with the milk situation and gives Sherlock a list of shit he’s pissed about. Sherlock sets out to make John happy. John is happy. Sherlock makes his own list. They are both very, very happy.

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time, Drunk John, Hospitals, Humour, Soft Sex) – Five times John didn’t want to be carried, and one time he did.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing… rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same…

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #funny fics #crack fics #my fic recs #submission #send me things #long post

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forestlion · 3 years

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Ranking the ESC Winners from 2010-2021

The following list is scientifically researched, peer-reviewed and not at all just based on my personal tastes and biases, thank you for understanding and appreciating the work that went into this.

The creator of this list is the following things: a ballad hater (naturally), German, lesbian, Frenchophobic (which doesn’t matter, France hasn’t won since the 70s) and haver of possibly unpopular opinions.

Complete list under the cut:

The criteria of the ranking are... mysterious and undefinable. Maybe I’ll take the stage show into account, maybe I won’t. Ballads never have any good stage shows, so. What am I gonna be saying about man sitting at piano, huh. That’s right. Let’s just get into it.

11. 2011 - Running Scared (Azerbaijan) Coming in last, Running Scared. Now. Listen here. I am not about to get political on here because, like. What am I gonna do. What am I gonna say. What do yall WANT me to say. Do you want me to say that countries like Azerbaijan aren’t (geographically) in Europe and thus shouldn’t participate in the ESC? Want me to list war crimes? Human rights violations? If I listed every participating country’s war crimes, we’d never get anything done here. All I can say about Running Scared that that shit was boring as hell, uninspired and did NOT deserve the win. Yes, I will say it. Jedward should’ve won. GOT MY LIPSTICK ON HERE I COME DA DA DA CHECK THE COLOR COLOR OH OH

10. 2017 - Amar pelos dois (Portugal) Oh oh. Oh oh! Unpopular opinion alert! But girl oh my god. A ballad. For ESC? Groundbreaking. And the man’s attitude about the whole thing was so embarrassing. Wanting “real music” at Eurovision??? What’s “real music”, baby girl? Is Party For Everybody, Dance, Come On and Dance NOT real music? Can I not find value in silly fun songs that don’t worsen my depression? Must it be a slow song about some ex-girlfriend or the other? That’s what I thought.

9. 2015 - Heroes (Sweden) Not another possibly unpopular opinion coming in hot. Could a song BE more generic than this one, esp. in 2015 I felt like I had heard that exact song a million times before on the radio? The stage show really helped this song win, in my humble opinion. M°ans is an international icon and they dig that poor guy out of the nothingness for every ESC but. Well. It’s just not my personal favorite. 2015 was a weak ESC year all around, so, that’s that on that.

8. 2019 - Arcade (The Netherlands) I feel the people are getting angry, there’s unrest amongst the crowd. But yes, it’s man singing ballad. I think the song is a bit popular amongst TikTokers? I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s boring to me, it stirs no emotions within my soul. I cannot dance to this. It’s not giving the gays anything.

7. 2013 - Only Teardrops (Denmark) It’s cute or whatever. Moving on.

6. 2014 - Rise Like A Phoenix (Austria) I liked and did vote for Conchita - was it because I absolutely loved the song? Eh, it sounds like a James Bond Power Ballad. But it is empowering and Conchita was very out of the ordinary, so it was a deserved win.

5. 2016 - 1944 (Ukraine) When I said... not political... when the ESC committee said.. this contest is about music and not about uhm. Politics. It isn’t but it is. You get it. Of course it’s political but no it isn’t. A haunting song. Beautiful.

4. 2010 - Satellite (Germany) YES, this list is BIASED, shut up about it! Don’t tell me this wasn’t an iconic performance... the pronunciation... Lena really did smn there. Germany winning during the time of the financial crisis... I wonder... I wonder. Again, unpolitical thoughts. Satellite is a quirky song performed by a quirky girl, she really gave us that representation.

3. 2018 - Toy (Israel) Uh oh... not to repeat myself for the millionth time today. I will stay silent on the political matter, please! Remind yourself that I am German and in many ways this is very difficult for understandable reasons. Anyway... Madonna solved that conflict anyway with her performance in 2019. The song itself is a lot of fun and the home of sexuals have shaken their asses to it many a time. I like the song, I do, I do.

2. 2012 - Euphoria (Sweden) One of THEE signature ESC songs, known all over, still playing on the radio. Mysterious, ear worm potential, great vocals. Sweden really snapped that year. This is what Only Teardrops wishes it could be.

1. 2021 - Zitti e Buoni (Italy) ITALIAAA ITALIAAA! Yes, the most recent winner is Nr. 1, sue me. I’m just litchrally in love with this song. Rock’n’Roll truly never dies. I swear they put the coke they didn’t snort into this song. Absolute banger. One of so few native language winners. Also, FUCK the jury vote so much.

#rip #esc #eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc 2021 #esc21 #german stuff #deutsch #idk babes #music #italy #sweden #germany

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let-the-dream-begin · 3 years

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In Hearts We Leave Behind

Part Two: Chapter 3

Part Two Chapter 2

Read on AO3

John and Jamie had honeymooned in Capri, strolling along the beaches or splashing in the grottos by day, and making love and fucking and everything in between by night. Brianna had stayed the week at Lallybroch with her cousins, presumably having the time of her life.

They’d been back a week, and back to work, and yet they still acted like they were on a honeymoon, unable to keep their hands off each other, more reluctant than ever to get out of bed in the mornings. They’d had a similar honeymoon-phase when they’d dated in college, and once that bubble had burst, they’d ended it all completely.

But it was different now, Jamie reminded himself.

Now, it was another reluctant morning, legs threaded with John’s, fingers in his hair, kissing him lazily, eyes still closed. He couldn’t push his luck; he could hear his daughter bounding around the house and humming to herself, talking to her toys. If they got too carried away, they’d have an eight year old to explain the gay birds and the bees to.

But fuck...John was Heaven. He’d need divine intervention to avoid getting hard.

Sometimes, flashes of their time in Capri would come to him, at breakfast, at work, in the car...and that was enough to have him sweating. Now, as John bit down on his lip, he remembered when John had dipped below the crystal water in the blue grotto to bite his thighs, and they’d palmed and ground each other to completion right there, other couples just around the corner.

“John…”

“Mm...yes, my love?”

Damn him and that maddening purr of his.

With a growl, Jamie rolled on top of his husband, pinning him to the mattress, fiercely gripping his shoulders. John mewled a bit, bucking his hips into Jamie’s.

“I shall never tire of this,” he sighed, craning his neck to keep kissing Jamie.

And then the bedroom door burst open.

“Daaaaaa!”

Jamie rolled off of John just in time for Brianna to plop herself right in between them on the bed. As if choreographed, they each snagged one of their pillows and stuffed them onto their laps.

“You promised pancakes today! Remember! I asked on Wednesday and you said no because I had school and then Daddy said maybe Saturday and you said you promised!”

“Aye, aye I did,” Jamie said placatingly. “Is it no’ a wee bit early?”

“It’s eleven-oh-three, Da. Ye’re just lazy.”

John snorted, and Jamie shot him a dangerous look.

“I’ve been up for hours! Grown-ups sleep too much!”

“Indeed...too much sleep.”

Jamie smacked John’s upper arm, which Brianna did not miss, and wrinkled her nose at.

“Ye’re also weird.”

“Aye, Daddy is.”

John rolled his eyes.

“Alright, love, we’re coming. Give us a few minutes.”

“I’m setting a timer! Five minutes!”

“Do shut the door, please!”

With an indignant little huff, Brianna did as she was told, and then came the telltale sound of the stove timer being set, high-pitched beeping.

“Ye never should ha’ shown her how to use that thing.”

John chuckled. Brianna had asked to be the one to set the timer for a batch of cookies they’d made once, given that she was not allowed to handle anything actually coming in or out of the oven. It hadn’t taken her long to realize that the minutes on the stove went quite a bit faster than when either of her fathers said “a few minutes” or “just a minute” or “five more minutes.”

They now lived on a damn schedule because the little heathen had no patience.

Jamie sighed and set his pillow aside. “Think this’ll go down in five minutes?”

John snorted, then pulled the sheets down and lowered his head. “Let’s see.”

——

Jamie barely managed to make it to the kitchen before Brianna’s bloody timer went off. Given the build up it hadn’t taken long to finish, but then he couldn’t just leave John in the state he was in. It was perhaps the quickest quickie they’d ever had. Not that he was keeping track. John was showering, as he’d been paranoid that Brianna would be able to smell it on them, and Jamie had rolled his eyes and let him go, trudging into the kitchen to wait on their daughter.

“Right on time.”

Jamie grunted, looking up to see Brianna sitting on the counter beside the stove, kicking her legs with glee. He gave a gentle tug on one of her curls, and she swatted his hand away, pointing to the cabinet with the mixing bowls.

“C’mon, Da.”

“If ye think I’m doing this wi’out any of yer help, ye’ve got another thing comin’.”

John arrived downstairs in fresh pajamas just in time for the first batch to be poured on the skillet. His wet hair stuck out adorably every which way, making Jamie want to run his fingers through it. As John approached the stove, he did, kissing him as well.

“Ew.”

John chuckled. “Don’t be homophobic, darling.”

Brianna rolled her eyes. “You’re so weird.”

Pancakes made and properly topped, the three of them made their way into the den. Saturday morning breakfast was the only meal in the entire week that was allowed to be had in front of the tellie, at least when Brianna was home; John and Jamie did it for every meal if she was spending the night elsewhere. John set Brianna’s tray on her lap, making sure everything was level and unlikely to slip or spill as Jamie flicked on the tellie.

And then he noticed.

Above the fireplace mantle was a forty-by-thirty centimeter faded spot on the wall. The candle and the rosary remained, but the Scottish pearls and, most noticeably, the photograph, were gone.

Claire’s photograph.

“Will it not turn on?”

John’s voice brought his brain back to planet earth, but he could not take his eyes off the empty spot. John followed Jamie’s gaze, and he similarly fell silent.

John would never get rid of it. The thought did not even cross Jamie’s mind.

“C’mon, Da! Cartoons!”

John gently nudged him, and that’s when Jamie saw the little wooden chair that went with Brianna’s small drawing table still there against the fireplace. Wetting his lips, brow furrowed, Jamie flicked on the tellie, then stood up, setting his food on the coffee table.

“Start eating, lass, I’ll be in the bathroom. Quickly, I promise.”

John watched him go, muttered something about needing more syrup, turned up the volume on the tellie, and followed after Jamie.

Jamie went right for the stairs and right into Brianna’s bedroom. As he’d suspected, the eight-by-thirteens on Brianna’s dresser, ranging from photos of a healthy Claire holding her as a baby all the way up to a thin, pale Claire in a headscarf kissing her little cheek, were all missing.

Jamie ran a hand through his hair, his jaw hardening. He felt a gentle hand between his shoulder blades, rubbing soothing circles.

“What would she do wi’ them…?”

Jamie was embarrassed by how high and strained his voice was.

“They’re not in the kitchen bin. We used it all morning to make breakfast and they weren’t there. And they wouldn’t fit in the bathroom bins. And she couldn’t have gotten outside without the alarms waking us up. They’re in the house somewhere.”

Jamie nodded, blinking rapidly.

“You’re allowed to be upset,” John said softly. “It’s jarring and confusing.”

The tears spilled over at that, and Jamie furiously wiped them away. “I’m sorry...it’s not that...ye ken I…”

“I know.” John tenderly kissed his cheek. “I’m going to get back downstairs before she starts wondering. Compose yourself a bit. Check under her bed, in the closet. We’ll address it with her after breakfast.”

“How…?”

“We’ll, ehm...cross that bridge when we get there, hm?”

——

Jamie helped Brianna with the dishes, smiling and teasing like he always did. It would do no good for her to feel punished for what she did; there was obviously a reason for it, and she needed to know she could be heard out and understood. So they’d acted all morning like nothing was wrong, had their pancake and cartoon breakfast just like always.

He’d found them all, every single photograph and the pearls, at the bottom of Brianna’s toy chest. She’d very deliberately emptied the chest and then covered them with all her stuffies and dollies. He didn’t take them out, just carefully replaced the toys and returned to breakfast, wanting to give her a chance to tell them herself.

“Brianna,” John called gently from the den. “Are you through with dishes?”

“Almost.”

“Da can finish. Would you come here?”

She hopped off her little kitchen step-stool and scampered into the den, wet hands dripping as she went. Jamie finished up quietly, listening.

“I wanted to ask if you knew where Mummy’s picture went.”

“What?”

“The picture of Mummy above the fireplace.”

“I don’t have a Mummy.”

Jamie almost dropped the dish he was drying.

“Whatever do you mean, silly? Of course you have a Mummy.”

“Mummies in Heaven don’t count.”

Jamie left the rest of the dishes undried and made his way into the den.

“Oh, hello, darling,” John looked up from where he was crouched at eye level with Brianna. “I was just asking Brianna if she’d seen her mother’s picture.”

Jamie looked at the mantle as if seeing it for the first time. “Oh, would ye look at that.” He went closer, inspecting the ground and surrounding furniture. “Didna fall, did it?”

“No, it’s not here.”

“Strange.”

“Indeed,” John said. “And when I asked Brianna about it, she said she didn’t have a mother.”

“Aye, I heard,” Jamie said lightly. “What d’ye mean by that, a leannan?”

She shrugged. “I don’t have a Mum. I have a Da and a Daddy. Some kids at school have Mums and Dads or two Mums or two Das. But nobody has two Das and a Mum. Because Mums in Heaven don’t count.”

Jamie sat down on the couch. “Come sit wi’ me, mo chridhe.”

She shuffled reluctantly over, and John followed, sitting on the other side of her.

“Mums in Heaven do count, Brianna. They’re very, very important. Yer Ma loves you so much. D’ye no’ ken that? I tell ye as much as I can.”

“But it’s sad.”

“What, darling?” John pried.

“Da is happy now. Mummy makes him sad. And I don’t want him to be sad ever ever again.”

John looked fretfully at Jamie, who just sighed sadly. “Aye, lass. Ye’re right. Yer Daddy makes me very, very happy. It’s good that ye know that. But, and I ken ye might no’ remember, since ye were so very wee...but yer Ma once made me very, very happy, too. And that’s why I get sad, because I miss Ma’s kind of happy. I love Daddy’s kind of happy. But it’s alright to miss Ma’s sometimes.”

“And it’s...it’s good to remember things even if they sometimes make you sad,” John continued. “Your Mummy does not want you to forget her.”

“What if I don’t want to remember?”

“What d’ye mean?”

“I want to have a Da and a Daddy and I don’t want to have a dead Mum anymore.”

Jamie sighed again, swallowing against more tears.

“Brianna, darling…” John sighed. “There’s no way to change what things are. Your mother was here, she did live, and she did die. And it’s very sad that that happened to you, to your Da. But it happened. And it can’t just...un-happen because you don’t want it to have happened.”

“And hiding all the pictures of her also doesna make it un-happen.”

Jamie half-prepared himself for Brianna’s temper to flare, for her to shriek right in his face that she didn’t do it, but no such outburst came.

Jamie put his hand on her back and rubbed soothingly. “Having a mam that’s died is nothing to be ashamed of, Brianna.”

“That’s right,” John said.

“It’s okay to be sad about it. But pretending she didn’t exist isna fair. To her, to me...or to you, a leannan. You are part of her. She brought ye into this world. By pretending she didna exist, ye’re pretending that half of who ye are isna real.”

“I don’t have Mummy’s hair or eyes. I have yers,” Brianna insisted softly.

“Aye, that’s true,” Jamie began. “But ye have things of hers that ye canna see. Like her heart, her courage, her wit. D’ye no’ want those things, Brianna?”

Her little brow furrowed, and her fathers let a thoughtful moment pass.

“Do you know where the pictures are, Brianna?” John said softly. “And the pearls?”

She sighed, pouting. “Aye. I do.”

She slid off the couch, a silent beckon for her fathers to follow, and they watched as she emptied her toy chest and gestured inside.

“Thank you, Brianna. Ye’ve done the right thing.” Jamie stroked her hair, kneeling in front of her. “I want ye to know ye’re no’ in trouble.”

“I’m not?”

“No.”

She still didn’t seem to believe him.

“I’ll tell you why ye’re not. Because it’s like we’ve been saying: it’s okay to feel however ye’re feeling; sad or angry or scared. It’s okay. And I think ye did this because ye were scared that yer Da would be sad every time he saw this picture. Is that true?”

She nodded.

“And that’s alright. But, Brianna, can ye promise me something?”

She nodded again.

“Next time ye’re feeling something that ye dinna understand, and ye feel ye must do something about, d’ye promise ye’ll talk to me or Daddy about it?”

“We love you and want to help you,” John chimed in.

“That’s right. And ye actually made me scared when the pictures were missing. So next time it’ll be better if ye talk to us about it first. Aye?”

She nodded again.

“Is there...anything you want to say? About Mummy? Or anything?”

“I don’t miss her like you do. I don’t remember.”

“I ken.” Jamie cupped her cheek. “And that’s okay, too. That’s why we have pictures, so ye can see that she did love ye, even if ye canna remember. See?” Jamie held up a photo of Claire helping Brianna blow out birthday candles on her second birthday, then the one of her kissing her cheek. “Ye dinna remember these kisses, but they happened. Because she loved ye, and she still does. And that’s why we try to remember her, that’s why we honor her wi’ the big picture and the candle and the rosary in the den. D’ye understand?”

“I think so.”

“Alright.” Jamie offered a tiny smile. “Can I have a hug?”

She obliged him, squeezing around his neck, and he held her tightly right back, fervently kissing the side of her head.

“I love ye, my sweet girl.”

“I love you too, Da.”

“Go hug Daddy.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

“Tell ye what,” Jamie said, standing up. “Since these are your pictures, you can do whatever ye’d like wi’ them in yer room, and I’ll put this big one back. How does that sound?”

“Okay, Da.”

John stood up, following Jamie to the door.

“Spaghetti fer dinner?”

“Wi’ meatballs?” Brianna perked up.

“Aye, if ye’d like.”

“Yes!”

“Alright.”

They left, leaving the door open just a crack behind them, and John hugged Jamie tightly.

“I’m very proud of you,” John whispered into his neck. “That couldn’t have been easy.”

“No...it ehm...was not.”

“Okay. Let’s go sit. I’ll make you some tea.”

They spent the afternoon listening to the radio play mellow music, Jamie’s head in John’s lap, both of them intermittently sipping tea and occasionally glancing up at Claire on the mantle, not saying anything, but each touch and stroke and chaste kiss saying everything.

——

That night, spaghetti long eaten and cleaned up, Brianna long asleep, Jamie was reading in bed, and John was staring at the ceiling.

“Ye alright over there, man?” Jamie said, not looking up from his book. “Usually ye’re flipping through channels or reading or at least talking.”

“You’re reading. I don’t want to disturb you.”

“Has that ever stopped ye before?” Jamie looked up, smirking, but his face fell when John did not smirk back. “Still thinking about this morning?”

“I...suppose I am.”

Jamie hummed thoughtfully. “Aye...it’s gonna take a bit to shake it.”

John nodded.

“The way I reacted, John…”

“Hey.” John sat up against the pillows, meeting his eye. “Don’t you dare. If I felt any way about the way you choose to remember her, I’d have said something a long time ago. You suggested we replace her photo with our wedding photo and I wouldn’t have it. I wanted them both up there. Don’t you remember that?��

Jamie sighed. “Aye. I do. I just...I want ye to know I love you.”

“I know, Jamie. I do.”

“Then what’s eating at ye, mo ghille?”

John sighed, leaning his head against the wall. “This isn’t the first time I’ve thought this, but today just…I don’t know...it...It isn’t lost on me how lucky I am to have gotten a second chance with you. But neither is it lost on me that you had to lose Claire in order for me to get that chance. That she had to endure that...that horrible disease. You know I love you with all my heart, and I love Brianna…but I’d give you both up if it meant that you never had to suffer. Or Claire.”

“That’s enough, man,” Jamie said gently, lacing their fingers together. “I’ve spent enough time thinking about those very same things, and there’s no point. What’s happened has happened, and the fact is, those ultimatums will never exist. So all we can do is live the life we’ve been given.”

John cupped Jamie’s cheek, pressing their foreheads together with a reverent sigh.

“Ye do ken I love ye, man. Don’t ye?”

“I do, Jamie.”

Jamie pressed their lips together, kissing him soundly. “I do. I love ye fiercely, John. And I cherish ye deeply.”

“I love you…”

He could barely get the words out before Jamie was pinning him to the bed and kissing him savagely, pressing him into the mattress with his warm solid weight, his erection pressing into John’s pelvis.

“Finish what we started this morning?” Jamie panted.

John barely managed to nod before Jamie was tugging on his pants, his briefs, his shirt. Jamie kissed every inch of his naked flesh, worshipped it with his hands and his lips and his tongue. Then he had him gently, tenderly, roughly, possessively. No single way was enough in that moment, so he had to have them all. He finished with a strangled cry inside John, then kissed him and finished him with his hand until John was crying out into his mouth.

Jamie cupped John’s balls, letting him soften, and he licked John’s bottom lip, then grinned.

“I shall never tire of this.”

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