#dadpost

[cross-eyed-boy]

single dad who is shamefully attracted to its pretty son and only dates younger guys who kinda look like its son x serial killer son who finds out and is so jealous he kidnaps and tortures the guys in question to figure out what they have that he doesn't

[soleadita]

my dad being a diego luna stan was not on my 2022 bingo card but holy SHIT it’s my favorite thing ever. (i had to tell him the new season ISN’T starting soon. he was sad about that.)

[the-parent-catalouge]

There is currently a loud argument going on between my parents about how my mother wouldn’t eat chicken nuggets unless we were facing apocalyptic end times.

[legokingfisher]

My dad asked if Lloyd has any kids and before I could really elaborate he said if Lloyd had kids they would be called. Lloydlets

[heckingclown]

My lecturer said the word 'clown' today and multiple people turned to look at me. My reputation is secure

[ofstormsandfire]

hm. five likes on this post and I show you guys the absolute unit of a carrot my dad pulled out of his garden earlier, it's been too long since I updated y'all on his shenanigans

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Calli, checking on a steak whilst hosting a barbecue: Firm with a little give. Yep, that's medium rare.

Amelia: What if someone wanted theirs well done?

Calli: We ask them politely yet firmly to leave.

[fanboy-feminist]

And another thing about about I Saw The TV Glow!

I feel as if Owen had more of a relationship with his manager at the movie theater / Fun Center than he did with his actual father.

That scene with him knocking on the bathroom door, going “Owen? You okay in there buddy?” More warmth in those 2 sentences from his manager than from his father the entire film. Just… UGH my HEART!

[hellfuckjonezz]

Dramatic Ass

[probablyafaggot]

blue steel aka I'm glad someone is sleeping

[cross-eyed-boy]

(@bulltuskbutch you asked to see where this was going so 🫣)

dad who gets home on a regular day, expecting the usual routine of hanging out with its son, making food for the both of them, then telling him its going out, knowing its boy doesn't ask questions, he's too old to care what his dad does on its personal time.

dad who's still ashamed it has so many one night stands each week. not ashamed of having sex, or doing it with guys, no... just of all of them being much younger boys who look suspiciously similar to its own son. it did stop for a while, after the first time it moaned its son's name when it came. but the urges were so strong it was afraid it might end up touching him for real, so it's back to a routine of fucking boys with the same skintone and dark curls. sometimes it even works up the courage to ask if it can call a boy a different name... thinking about raping your son while fucking another guy is okay as long as you never actually act on it, right?

dad who's surprised to find the house empty and dark, who calls for its son as it makes its way through the rooms, until it sees the faintest bit of light coming from the unused basement. there's noise coming from there, too, so it starts down the stairs in a hurry, afraid something might have happened to its son. something hits it in the back of the head, and the last thing it sees as it tumbles down is a pool of blood spreading on the floor in a corner of the room.

dad who wakes up some time later, tied to a chair under the bare lightbulb hanging from the basement ceiling. it blinks, vision coming into focus just as it takes in the sight before it. its son, covered in blood, hair matted to his forehead with sweat, crouched next to a few bodies slumped against the wall. it takes the dad too long to recognise the faces, left pristine in contrast to the bloody, lacerated bodies: the boy it fucked a week ago, who let it call him by its son's name; one from a couple of months back who looked so similar to its son it cried after it was done fucking him; another it had forgotten about, not even from the city. and, closest to its son who has his hand in the boy's hair, pulling his face back, the boy it was supposed to meet tonight.

'hi, dad.'

[soleadita]

apparently my grandpa accidentally started a tiny fire in his driveway while my parents were visiting, and instead of being concerned, my dad instructed my youngest sibling to take a picture and send it to me. anyway, i think i accidentally gave him fireman brainrot.

[homoquartz]

a memory just surfaced that i forgot about.

as a kid i liked cream cheese on ritz crackers as a snack, and one time my dad brought me some, and one was clearly a very different texture from the others. and i saw him watching me eat, and i knew he was playing a little prank on me, and i felt bad that it was so obvious so i ate the weird cracker anyway to make him laugh.

(it was sour cream)

[legokingfisher]

My dad was so sad when I told him Wu was dead bro he was like “WHAT?? Him and Lloyd are the only reason I let you take over the tv with your Ninjago legos so much! :(”

[heckingclown]

Learning to draw is so much fun when I can just draw little guys

[joshisnotarobot]

How old do my kids need to get before they stop open mouth coughing directly in my face? Because I'll be happy when that stops.