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meigh-day · 4 years

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Mine (Bokuto x F!Reader)

Title: Mine

Pairing: Time Skip Bokuto x F!Reader

Characters: Bokuto, Atsumu, Hinata, Sakusa, Female Reader

Warnings: Mild swearing, Mild angst to fluff

Status: Complete

Word Count: 5k

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"Hey, Y/N?"

The sound of running water and a voice at your side brought your hazy thoughts back to the present. You hummed a response as your eyes focused, widening at the sight of water overflowing into the basin. "Ah, shit..."

"You ok?" Atsumu tilted his head at you, concern lightly pulling at his features. He watched you hurriedly turn off the tap and replace the cap on the bottle before giving him your attention.

"Mhm, I'm fine." A smile trails onto your lips, as you offer up lies of reassurance. You were fine. Sorta. Good enough to be at practice anyway. Sure, your head was dully throbbing and you felt far too warm on such a cool day. But yea you were fine. The blonde setter made a small sound of disbelief as he pressed his hand to your cheek.

"Fine huh?" He frowned down at you. "Do ya think I'm an idiot? What are ya doing here when yer sick?"

He had a point. Why were you here when you were sick? It wasn't like this was an official practice. Some of the jackals had wanted to get in a little extra practice over the weekend and it's not like you had to even be here. So why had you taken time away from your days off to come? Well that was easy. A certain grey haired spiker was going to be there and the two of you just so happened to have plans to hang out later.

"Who else is going to take care of you guys?" You laugh, gathering up the bottles but before you can lift them they are already up and off the floor. "Hey..."

"Ya know it's a good thing Sakusa isn't here today... he'd have yer sick ass outta here so fast..." Atsumu settles the bottles into his arms and looks down at you as you stand.

"I know..." Your eyes shift to the side, your expression looking fairly pathetic.

He sighed. "Look if ya promise to take it easy then ya can stay for all I care."

You look up at him, a smile brightening your features. "Really?"

"Yeah yeah... I'll take care of water for the guys. Just relax and take notes or something."

"I will. Promise. Oh uhm... Atsumu?"

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A pair of golden eyes watched the two of you from around the corner. Watching as Atsumu gently caressed your cheek. Watching as you smile up at him. It was difficult to hear what the two of you were talking about, especially with Miya's back to him, but that way you responded spoke volumes. And if what he saw wasn't enough, the words that did reach his ears, sealed the deal.

"Hm?" Atsumu turned back to you as his name left your lips.

"Don't tell Bokuto."

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Bokuto stood, arms crossed and a look of irritation all over his features. The two of you were supposed to be hanging out together later. In fact the two of you had been spending quite a bit of time together outside of the team. At first the two of you just found yourselves together during team outings and before you knew it that had lead to exchanged numbers and a generic 'we should hang out sometime' sentiment. However, that sentiment had actually become a reality and soon the two of you were texting every night, having dinner together or going to a movie. Sometimes you'd just walk together after practice was over for the day. The time spent with you had started to become special to him but it was obviously not as special to you. Not with the way you had been smiling up like a lovesick puppy at that damned Miya idiot.

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"Bokuto!"

"Huh?" He turned at the call of his name but it was too late. He watched as the ball sailed by him and dropped to the floor, rolling under the net.

Hinata went running after it as Atsumu turned, hands on his hips. "I dunno what yer daydreamin about but if yer not gonna spike my sets then I'll send 'em to someone else."

Bokuto grit his teeth, turning wide angry eyes at the blonde setter, ready to let him have it but before he could get out a word he was interrupted.

"Ah, damn it. Hold that thought." Atsumu was watching you from across the court, gathering water bottles like the rebel you were. He proceeded to march past the angry grey haired spiker and over to you before he unceremoniously hauled the bottles from your arms.

"Ah, ah... We talked about this." You huffed at him, trying and failing to grab at the bottles while he easily swatted your hands away.

"Now settle down or else." He smirked at you as he glanced over to Bokuto and then back at you.

You followed his gaze, his implication clear. Consider your attention grabbed. With a pout, your hands drooped to your sides in defeat. "Yea yea, I'll just sit here and do nothing I guess..."

"Good." He smirked down at you and proceeded to give you a head pat before briskly exiting the gym.

With a sigh you picked up your notebook and pen, intent on at least taking some notes for the guys. Normally you tried to be more involved in their practices. Making sure they had enough water and towels, taking notes and even tossing balls for them. Just anything they might need. You really cared about each of them and wanted to see them all do well, so it was annoying that you couldn't do much else except take notes and sit down without Miya noticing and mothering you. Though there was a small part of you that was thankful for his watchful eye, just gathering the water bottles had kinda taken it out of you and you were starting to wondering if it had really had been a bad idea coming today.

As you turn back to the court you are met by a pair of crossed arms and a frown. A smile immediately spreads across your lips. "Hey Bo."

You couldn't help the way your lips parted as the corners of your mouth turned upwards, your eyes lighting up, whenever he was near. What had definitely started as a friendship had started to turn into something else, at least for you. You always had so much fun with him, didn't matter what you were doing, you were just happy to be with him.

He does not return your smile, in fact his frown only seems to deepen at the sight of it. "So you're getting Miya to do all your work?"

"What? No. He...uh...just..." You stammer a little trying to think of a plausible excuse without exposing the fact that you were sick to the one person you were trying to keep it from.

Bokuto let out an annoyed huff as he looked away. "I really don't care. Just try to keep the flirting to a minimum."

"Flirt... What? Bo it's not like that."

"No? Then why are you even here today? It's just an extra practice, no reason for you to have come in the first place." Your expression fell at this words. While making plans to hang out you had offered to come along to practice since you were free anyway and, at the time, Bokuto had eagerly agreed. Now it seemed like he was regretting any and all enthusiasm he'd once expressed at the idea.

"I just wanted to help you guys out today." Your voice came out a little quieter than normal. It was true, your intentions weren't totally selfless for being here. You took every chance you could to be around Bokuto, even if it was merely watching from the bench as he practiced. He was such a beautiful person inside and out but there was something special about watching him playing that made him really glow. However, your doubts at coming today began to flood back in as he questioned your presence.

"By what? Sitting around doodling in your notebook? Honestly, y/n if you aren't going to do your actual job then you should just go home. We don't need you here."

We don't need you here...

Don't need you here...

Don't need you...

Go home.

His words felt like a bucket of cold water being dumped over your head. "You don't..." The rest of the words died on your tongue as you saw his irritated expression staring you down. "Oh." You nod, biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes lower, willing the tears that were stinging your eyes not to fall.

You take in a slow breath as you slip the notebook into your bag. This was not how you had seen your day turning out. You'd wanted to spend time with the team and do your best to help them. Then you'd hoped to end the day with Bokuto, someone who had become really special to you, but now you were left holding back tears as you turned back to him. "I, uh, " You feel your voice waiver and think better of whatever you had been about to say. " Sorry..." The apology is quick, almost as quick as the bow you offer up before hurrying out of the gym.

There are two pairs of eyes watching as you leave and both are confused. Bokuto lets out a sigh as he rakes a hand through his hair. He was already regretting this. It's not like you were his girlfriend and yet here he was being a total ass to you just because you were getting friendly with Miya. It shouldn't bother him so much but it did. He likes you. Liked you? Likes... Shit. After a moment he turns and start across the gym, his mind in disarray.

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Atsumu wanders back in several minutes later, water and towels in hand. He sets them down on the bench, noting your absence on the bench as well as within the gym itself. Hinata grins at the blonde as he picks up one of the bottles. " Thanks Atsumu!"

"Mhm. Shoyo, where's Y/N?"

Hinata freezes a moment, opens his mouth and then closes it before quickly glancing around. Atsumu isn't sure what the hell this kid is doing, its almost like he didn't realize she was gone and is frantically looking around. Hinata was in fact looking around, but not for Y/N, he was merely making sure it was just the two of them before he spoke. "Oh, uh, she went home."

"Oh yea? Good. She shouldn't have come in the first place." Hinata went to open his mouth, an objection ready on his lips but then Atsumu continued. "She must like him an awful lot to come here sick on her day off..."

"Sh... Wh... Huh? Y/N is sick?!"

Atsumu looked down at the surprised red-head. " Yea. Isn't that why she left?"

Hinata pressed his lips together as his gaze travelled across the gym.

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"What the hell is wrong with ya?!" Bokuto glanced up in time to see the approaching blonde heave a bottle at him, a curse falling from his lips as he fumbled to catch it.

"I.. what?"

"Don't pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about! I heard what ya said to Y/N you ass!" Atsumu yelled as he followed up the bottle with a towel.

The towel sailed across the small space between them and hit Bo square in the face, the larger man just having managed to get his hands on the bottle. "Knock it off Miya!" Bo grumbled as he pulled the towel off his head before tossing it onto the ground.

"Where do ya get off talkin to Y/N like that? Sendin' her off like she's some huge inconvenience."

Bokuto lets out a huff, muttering something under his breath as he turns his face away from the setter. Atsumu narrows his eyes at the man before him. "What the hell do ya have to be grumbling about you big idiot! Yer not tha one who got yelled at. She only came in today to try and help and ya sent her home like she'd done some terrible thing!" Atsumu crossed his arms, annoyance clear all over his face as he started to turn away." I don't get why she likes ya so much... Comin’ here on her day off... and sick too."

Bokuto was already feeling badly about what he had done even before the setter had come over to scold him. He hadn't meant anything he'd said. It didn't matter to him why you had come in, he was just happy to see you. He had been looking forward to seeing you after practice to hang out and maybe finally tell you how he really felt. But he'd let jealousy rear its ugly head and his harsh words had sent you away.

He watched as Atsumu started to walk away, the setter’s final words hanging heavy on his shoulders. You were sick. Sick?! Bokuto's eyes widen, his feet moving as he grabbed for the other man. "Sick? Y/N is... sick?" Atsumu turned, his annoyance softening a little at the stricken look on Bokuto's face. "Yea. I tried to get her to go home earlier but she was keen on stayin'... Wanted to see you..." He paused as he pressed his lips together and shook his head as he looked Bokuto up and down. "...for some reason." Bokuto let his hand fall away, the setter merely sighing as he gave him a pat on the shoulder before striding across the gym.

A moment later the doors to the gym open to reveal a rather damp Sakusa. He stalks into the gym, swipes a towel off the bench and starts drying himself off. "What happened to you?" Miya smirks at the man who simply returns a glare. "It's fucking pouring outside you dumbass." Atsumu tries and fails to catch the wet towel before it hits him in the face.

"Raining?!" Bo appears before them, worry etched into his features. Sakusa merely offers a grunt of affirmation before disappearing into the change room. The two men left behind exchange glances before turning their gaze to the doors.

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You had managed to make it out of the gym and almost a whole street away before tears started to slowly trail down your cheeks. Today was supposed to be special. You were going to go to practice, hang out with Bo afterwards and maybe, just maybe, finally confess your feelings. But now you were walking home, kicked out by the very person you had gone to see, and now you were crying. It felt like everything good about the day had turned sour and now all that was left was a bitter feeling that seemed to grow heavier with each step. In fact it seemed so heavy that you almost felt like you were having trouble walking. It's not like you were sick and probably had a fever and because of that your steps were much more sluggish. Nope, definitely not.

You wiped at your tears with your sleeve, letting out a heavy sigh as you trudged along the side walk. A moment later you felt one and then another slide down your cheek and you wiped those away too. It did strike you as a little strange, you were pretty sure you had stopped crying. As that thought struck you another drop fell on your cheek, and then another, it was only when you looked up that you realized it had started to rain.

Within a few minutes the small droplets that had started to fall turned into a downpour. You were running, your bag held over your head, as you tried to search for some shelter to wait out the rain. You're apartment was too far to keep going in this weather and your body was starting to feel fuzzy. Well your head was at least. Despite the cool air and even cooler rain that feel you felt too warm.

Finally, a small bit of luck came your way in the form of a park. There were several large trees that would do rather nicely to at least partially shelter you from the rain. You hurried under the nearest one, leaning against it as you let your bag drop to the ground and try to catch your breath. With each sharp inhale more dots began to dance in your vison. Your shaky legs deposited you at the base of the tree and as your vison goes black, your body going limp, you swear you hear someone calling your name.

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Heavy footsteps pound on the sidewalk as Bokuto frantically searches for you. He knew the route you took home each day, he's walked it with you enough that he could practically walk it blindfolded. He had tried calling and texting you before racing out of the gym. Even now, in the rain, he had his phone to his ear in another attempt to get a hold of you. With each failed attempt the guilt dug further into his stomach. The things he had said kept repeating in his mind. How could he say such mean words, such lies?! Truth was the team did need you there. He needed you there. It didn't matter if you just sat on the sidelines doing absolutely nothing, just you being there was all he needed.

With a sigh he taps the call button one more time. " Please… please answer." He begs to the air as the ringing starts again. A small distance away, a melody can be heard playing in time with each ring in his ear. At first Bokuto thinks nothing of it but as it gets louder with each step he finds his already fast pace increasing. A moment later he sees you, huddled under a tree to hide from the rain, but the tiny moment of relief he felt is gone in an instant as he sees you collapse. The only thing he utters is your name as he runs across the grass, dropping to your side and pulling your trembling body into his arms.

"Oh my god. Y/N?!" He takes in your appearance, drenched from the sudden downpour and cheeks flushed against your otherwise pale skin. Bokuto can feel tears in his eyes as he looks down at you in his arms. It was his fault you were out here in the first place instead of warm and dry inside the gym. Hell if he'd bothered to actually pay attention to you today instead of wallowing in jealousy maybe he would have seen you were sick and you'd be home, safe and comfortable. Because of him you were much worse off. Bo shook his head and grit his teeth. This was not the time to be floundering in self-pity. He needed to get you somewhere safe and now. So with that goal in mind, he scooped you up into his arms and took off.

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Every time you opened you eyes you saw him. It was like your mind was playing some awful joke on you yet you couldn't help but feel comfort at the sight. Your eyes wouldn't open long but when they did you were greeted by Bokuto's face, concern carved into each feature. Sometimes it almost felt like he was really there, his large hands gently pressing against your cheek or forehead, his normally boisterous voice gentle and soft as he reassured you that you were going to be ok.

Finally, your eyes did open and they stayed open. The room was dark except for a soft light coming from the table lamp beside you. As your eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, confusion and panic started to eat away at the sluggishness you had been feeling. This was not your room, not your blanket and, when you look down at yourself, not your clothes.

"What the fu--" You pause, your eyes settling on the figure at your side. Bokuto's large frame was hunched over the side of the bed, his head resting on the crook of one arm the other outstretched, hand resting over your leg. One more quick inspection confirmed this was Bokuto's room, his blanket and.... oh my god... his clothes. After a moment he started to stir, his yellow eyes slowly opening as he yawned.

"Morning..." You say quietly. He hums in response but then freezes, his eyes traveling up to yours and then he's on his feet. "Y/N?! You're awake!" He cries out, hand pressing against your cheek and then forehead before he grabs you by the shoulders. "I was so worried!" Before you can do or say a thing you find yourself crushed against his chest as he pulls you into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have said those things to you. We do need you, we always need you. We'd be nothing without you!" Bokuto relaxes his hold on you and you can feel him take a deep breath before speaking again, his voice coming out softer this time. "But as much as the team needs you... I-I need you." He whispered, pulling you tightly against his chest, one large hand firmly against your back while the other cradled your head. You relaxed into him, cheek pressed against the top of his shoulder as he whispered apologies into your hair while you softly trailed your hand up and down his back.

You felt your cheeks grow red from his confession and were thankful your face was hidden against him at the moment. "I hope you can forgive me Y/N. I was.. Well... I got jealous when I saw you talking to ‘Sumu and took it out on you. You don't deserve to be treated like that and I get it if you don't want to be friends or anything anymore but I promise I'll be better from now on."

He paused, almost holding his breath as he waited in the silence that followed. When you said nothing he felt his poor little heart breaking but he understood. He had been so mean to you and for no reason. After a moment he started to pull away, certain this must be a very awkward position to be in, when he felt your arms slide around his middle, your hand pressing into his back as you return the hug.

"Oh.. Uh.. You don't ---" Bokuto stammered before your slightly muffled voice broke through. "It's ok Bo. But you're right... I don't want to be friends anymore." You could feel his body stiffen in your arms at your admission and you could only imagine the heartbroken expression he must have on his face. You kept your arms around him and continued on. "I don't think I can keep being just your friend... I want to be more to you than that."

Bo released his hold around you, pulling away as he looked down at you, his own cheeks flushed at your confession. " You mean it?!" He looked so uncertain yet hopeful, like one word from you would break him down or build him up. You finally lean back and look up at him, a soft smile on your lips. "Bo, I've liked you for as long as I've known you. One bad day isn't going to change that." That was it, you could have simply nodded at him and he would have been elated but in just a few words you simultaneously filled his heart with joy and relief. Tears started to well in his eyes as he sniffled and you could feel your own tears wanting to fall.

"Hey now, no tears." You smiled up at him through your own glassy eyes, gently swiping a thumb across the apple of his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning into your soft touch before his own smile stretch across his lips. "Like you're one to talk." He peeked down at you before mimicking your action, his thumb coming away wet.

The two of you sat in each others arms a little longer, relishing in the new warmth and comfort your confessions had brought. As your thoughts began to settle, a new question began to bubble to the surface and curiosity begged to have it answered. "Uh, Bo?" You lean up and away a bit so you can see his face. He sits up as well, his arms releasing their hold on you only to have his hands searching for your own. "Hmm?" He looks at you expectantly but you find yourself a little distracted as you gaze down at your intertwined hands.

"Y/N?"

"Oh, uh right." You look down at yourself a moment, taking in the shirt and shorts that were obviously too big for you, before looking back up at him. "These are yours, right?" He nods in affirmation, a small blush on his cheeks as he notes how cute you look in his clothes.

"Uhm, " You pause, the question poised on your lips has your cheeks turning a dark shade of pink. " How...uh... That is to say.. Uhm... How did I... get in them?"

Bo smirked, watching you stutter through your question, almost too distracted by how adorable you are to really listen but after a moment his expression shifts to confusion. "Huh?"

You fidget around a little, not really wanting to repeat it. "How did I get in them? I... I don't remember changing myself so... did... You. Or?" You let the sentence trail off, too embarrassed by the implication of what you had said.

"What? No!" Bo laughed and then froze when he realized what you must have been thinking. "Oh my god!! No No no!! I didn't! I swear!" He was frantically waving his hands in front of him, his face red and eyes wide. "I would never... I mean not that I don't want to see.. Shit I mean not like this... Oh my god shut me up." He covered his face with both his hands in an attempt to hide just how embarrassed he was from the sudden word vomit.

You on the other hand were highly amused and trying not to laugh. "Bo. Bo?" You pull at his arm to try and reveal his very red face but he doesn't budge. "Hey, It's fine just tell me what happened. Honestly, the last thing I remember is being in the park. After that it's all a bit fuzzy." He peeks at you through his fingers and finally relents after you aim a sweet smile his way. He goes on to tell you how he found you and carried you to his place since it was much closer. How he wrapped you in about three blankets while he called one of his sister's over to help. She had been the one to change your clothes and dry you off while Bokuto paced like a nervous wreck in front of the bathroom door the entire time.

You made a mental note to thank her in the future but for now, with your curiosity sated, you felt the pull of sleep at your body. Bokuto noticed it too, watching as your eyes started to droop. "You should get some more rest. You're not fully recovered yet and I want to take my girlfriend on a date as soon as possible." His words had you nodding slowly, you knew you weren't fully recovered yet and sleep did sound nice, a date sounded even better. Wait. You pause and glance up at him, the drowsiness momentarily paused. "Girlfriend? On a date?" He grinned down at you, the soft sleepy smile on your lips warming his heart. "Mhm, now get some rest."

You can't help the silly lopsided grin on your face as you start to lay back down, sleep already tugging at your mind. "Bo?" He pauses, body halfway standing as he moved to get off the bed. "Stay with me?" You request has his heart squeezing. "I'm not going anywhere." He says as he starts to move back into the chair. "No.." You mumble, peeking an eye open at him and pointing beside you. "Here." Bokuto just about trips over himself when you make your request all the more clear. Both of your eyes open when you hear him stumble, the chair stuttering across the floor as he braces himself on it. He looks down at you to see you peering up at him, a small little pout on your lips. "Please?"

He drags a hand across his face and through his hair, his nerves feeling a little frazzled. "I- are you sure?" He finally asks, already noting how easily he's caving into to you. A smile breaks out across your sleepy face as you reach out to him with grabby hands. Well, how could he resist? Bokuto crawls into the bed beside you, a little unsure how much space to give you. You on the other hand are quick to wiggle over until you are nestled up against him, sleep and sickness throwing any shame you may have normally felt out the window. Taking a cue from you, he slips an arm under you and pulls you closer, your head now resting on his chest. He lays there listening to your breath start to even out, his free hand carefully pushing your hair away from your face, fingers gently twirling the ends.

This was not how either of you saw your day ending, or how you had planned to confess but somehow it seemed to work out just right. Maybe in the morning, when both your brains had recovered with some sleep and inhibitions were back, there might be lingering embarrassment from waking up in the same bed, from words you’d said or sleepy demands made. Though, none of that would matter. Not when, in the end, he gets to call you his and you get to call him mine.

#bokuto x reader #bokuto #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #atsumu #hinata #sakusa #x reader #msby #Bokuto kotaro

101 notes · View notes

harrysweasleys · 4 years

Text

not so secret admirer // d.m

Summary: Can you write a Draco x reader where she's on top of the class and really sassy and fun, and Draco is lowkey kinda scared or intimidated by her? and Blaise likes to flirt with her and mess around just to make him jealous? thank u!

Warnings: none? hella soft Draco? also not totally proof-read

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: ah! this took way longer than i thought. but it’s here! enjoy! gif isn’t mine. :)

Draco watched with gritted teeth as Blaise approached you, a smirk on his face and his hands shoved in his pocket, confidence radiating off of him in waves.

“So, Y/N,” Blaise slid into the seat next to you, leaning back on the chair with his arms crossed across his chest. Draco glared holes into the back of his friend’s head, hating the stupid frustration he was feeling upon watching you two interact.

“Hi, Blaise,” you smiled over at the boy next to you, oblivious to the glare you two were receiving from the platinum headed boy across the class.

“Well, you changed up your hair over the Christmas break,” Blaise’s voice was smooth as he complimented you, “I like it.”

Draco wanted to snap his quill in half as he watched the blush rise to your cheeks, the shy smile you gave Blaise as you said ‘thanks, Zabini’ made him turn away and face the people sitting around him. He had also noticed you cut your hair during the break, but hardly found the moment to mention that he liked it too.

“Chill, Malfoy,” Pansy chewed loudly on a piece of gum as she twirled her hair, “Blaise doesn’t settle for just one girl, he’ll leave Y/N alone.”

It was no secret Draco harboured feelings for you. He had spoken to you a few times, and each time, you had intimidated him more than the last..

Draco Malfoy? Intimidated?

He found it hard to believe too. But your quick wit and knowledgeable sense had him double thinking his own personality. The last thing he wanted was to come off too strong or to push you away like he did with most people. You always found a way to top the class without even trying, it was admirable, really.

“I don’t care if Zabini wants to chase her,” Draco tried to play it off cool, “He’s at perfect liberty to go after whoever he wants, is he not?”

Pansy rolled her eyes at him, turning back to face the front of the class.

As Professor Snape stalked into the class, dark robes billowing behind him, Blaise rushed from his seat next to you back into the one next to Draco.

“Didn’t want to sit with your girlfriend?” Draco couldn’t help himself from making a snarky comment, despite the fact that the last thing he wanted was to show he was irritated.

Blaise grinned knowingly, “Y/N? Nah, not my girlfriend. Not my type.”

“You sure about that?” Draco spoke back through gritted teeth, “You complimented her.”

Blaise’s amused expression never faltered, “You were listening in, huh? Come on, you’ve been pining after her for like a year now. Just grow a pair and talk to her. As humans.”

“As humans?” Draco repeated, rolling his eyes in annoyance, “That’s so helpful.”

Shrugging, Blaise leaned closer so Professor Snape didn’t pick up on their private conversation, “Compliment her too. Tell her you like her brain or something. Girls like that — means you notice more than just their looks.”

Shaking his head, Draco didn’t think this was the way to go. How was he supposed to do that? Just walk up to you and say he thought you were smart? He’d look like an idiot.

“Yeah, that’s still useless, Zabini,” Draco leaned away from him, signalling the conversation had come to an end. He found it hard to pay attention to the remainder of the lesson, too busy focusing on the way your tongue would stick out in concentration, and even the way you’d tuck your hair behind your ear when trying to scribble down notes. He found you quite possibly the cutest thing he had ever seen.

“You coming, Malfoy?”

“I—Huh?” Draco’s eyes snapped over to Blaise, who was now standing, packing his books in his bag. He had been too busy thinking about you to realize class was over.

He peered back to your seat and noticed you talking to another Slytherin girl — he didn’t bother rememebring her name — but he didn’t really care at the moment.

“Yeah, coming,” he replied, tearing his eyes away from you and facing his group. He began to walk out of the class, but stopped in his steps when he heard the sound of objects clattering to the floor behind him.

He peered around, noticing you standing near your desk with a pout on your face.

“Damn it, just what I needed,” you leaned over, picking a bunch of books off the floor. Draco noticed your bag, which now had a huge rip on the bottom of it, discarded to the side. Your books, along with your ink, parchment and quill, were all over the floor.

Draco glanced around. Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle were out of sight, and the girl you had just been speaking to was in a conversation with Snape. So, he plucked up his courage and walked over to you.

“Need a hand?” he asked, leaning down to meet your eye level.

Your eyes shot up, a pink tinge to your cheeks as you rushed to pick everything up, “Yeah, thanks. I’ve needed a new bag for a while, guess this is the push I’ve been waiting for.”

He picked up three large textbooks, noticing immediately how heavy they were. And they weren’t even for any of your classes, he could tell they were from the library.

“Did you get these just for casual reading?” he analyzed the front page of the first book, which was titled How The Goblin Rebellion Shaped Wizard-Goblin Relations. He remembered studying the Goblin Rebellion years back, this couldn’t be for a class you were currently taking.

“Oh — yeah,” you grinned sheepishly, finally collecting everything and clutching it all tightly in your arms, “I know it’s weird, but I read that before bed. I guess it’s better than the last book I read which was about dragon enslavement. Not so cheerful.”

“And the Goblin Rebellion was?” he smirked, standing up and holding the books in his arms.

“No, but it had good outcomes,” you replied, standing up as well, “Nothing good came from keeping dragons in cages.”

Draco nodded, admiring the way you absorbed every bit of knowledge you could find. He found it rather annoying when Hermione Granger did it, but when it was you, even he had to admit it was endearing.

“I guess you’re right about that,” he nodded, “Do you want help bringing these back to your dorm?”

He nearly missed the way your lips curved up into a smirk, “Oh, am I about to be blessed with the opportunity of having the Draco Malfoy assist me back to my room?”

Draco’s eyes widened. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Oh—I—,”

“I’m kidding,” you tossed your head back, laughing at his dumbfounds expression, “I could use the help, thanks for offering.” You shot a wink his way and started making your way out of the class, leaving Draco still rooted in his spot.

Of course, you found a way of leaving him speechless again.

He fought back a grin and rushed to catch up with you, nearly tripping over his own robe.

“I like the rain,” you said softly once he caught up with you, “It’s calming. Cozy.”

He turned around to face the dark skies, the heavy rain pouring down making it almost difficult for him to hear you properly. He turned to face you, struggling to find the proper words to say.

“I prefer snow.”

You raised an eyebrow, turning your head to face him as the two of you continued down the long corridors, “Snow? I took you more for a raging thunderstorms kind of guy.”

He let out a small laugh, surprised by what you thought of him, “Why’s that?”

“Dunno,” you shrugged, “But I’ve always said you could tell a lot about a person based on their favorite weather.”

Draco looked over at you, fighting back another grin at the way you spoke so openly. You seemed to not care what anyone said about you, and he adored that.

“And what does snow mean? What can you figure out about me?” he wanted to know the answer but didn’t want to seem too eager.

“Well,” you grinned at him, turning back to face forwards, “You’re closed off. You like peace, being alone. You’re not a confrontational type, but you do like to knock people down a peg when given the chance.”

He blinked at you, hating how spot on that description was. Had you really figured all that out just by him saying he liked snow? Really, he liked that you could read him. Most people had no idea what was going on inside his head, and usually he’d love that, but he wanted to be less closed off around you. When given the chance, he found himself being honest around you more than he ever had been with anyone else — his family included.

“That’s... you’re spot on, actually,” he raised his eyebrows, “Colour me impressed.”

You smiled at him, “Oh, I know.”

He smiled back down at you, resisting the urge to blurt out beautiful he thought you were. And you really, really were.

The remainder of the walk was silent. Comfortable, but silent. Draco couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say to you. He loved the sound of your voice, and how into every conversation you got, but he couldn’t find a decent topic to strike up a chat about.

Walking into the common room, Draco glanced over and noticed Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe an Goyle huddled around the fire, all of them pointing at him.

“There you are!” Pansy screeched, sitting up abruptly, “You disappeared!”

Draco fought back a flush, noticing how both of you had stopped in your tracks and your body was close enough to his that he could smell your flowery perfume. It was probably his new favorite smell.

“What — oh, sorry,” he blurted out, ignoring how Pansy’s face broke out into a wide smirk, “I was helping Y/N carry her books back.”

“Yeah, my bag broke, Draco was being a dear,” you nudged him in the side with your elbow, grinning over at the group on the couch, “Don’t let me steal him from you for too long. Once I put these away, he’s all yours.”

“Doubt that,” Pansy mumbled under her breath. Draco shot her a glare, but luckily, you hadn’t heard. You were already walking up to your dormitory, humming a tune that Draco didn’t know. He followed hot on your tail, missing the knowing look that was shared between Blaise and Pansy.

“Just drop them on the bed,” you said once he had entered your room, “I’ll organize them later.”

“Sure thing,” he dropped the books down, glancing around the room. The beds surrounding yours were rather messy, but yours was as organized as could be. Your pillow was fluffed, sheets tucked in tightly, and even your nightstand had everything placed neatly.

“You taking a mental picture of my bedroom, Malfoy?” your voice snapped him out of his trance and he looked over at you, once again, not knowing what to say. You laughed, tossing your head back and poking him in the shoulder.

“Kidding. You should see your face,” your laughter was infectious, Draco found himself chuckling with you, “Now let’s head down.”

Still chuckling, he followed after you and back into the common room. As Draco approached the couch, sitting as far away from a smirking Pansy as he could, you leaned over to talk to him.

“I’ve gotta go meet a friend but I’ll see you around.”

Draco felt he shouldn’t be disappointed after spending a bit of time alone with you, but he was, “No worries.”

You were about to exit the room when Blaise called out, “Oi, gorgeous!”

You spun around on the spot, eyebrow raised and cheeks slightly pink. Draco bit his cheek, silencing himself from saying anything to Blaise.

“Yes?” you placed your hands on your hips.

“Just wanna say you look good,” Blaise shrugged, leaning back into his chair and glancing between Draco and you. Draco knew what he was up to, but he didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning, so he continued to sit silently.

“Right,” you laughed, continuing to leave the room, “You’re gorgeous too, Zabini. Catch ya later.”

As your figure disappeared, Draco whipped his head around to stare Blaise down, “Stop coming onto her, it’s pathetic.”

“No,” Blaise raised a finger, “What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re still sitting here stewing in your own love for her and she’s off with no idea.”

Draco opened his mouth to retaliate, but realized that he was right. He knew Blaise didn’t fancy you that way, but hearing him flirt so openly still got his blood boiling. He hated the fact that he was too intimated by you to make a move. You were the only person who had ever caught his eye and he was too much of a coward to do something about it.

“You’re quiet because you know I’m right, right?” Blaise wiggled his eyebrows, “Right?”

“Shut up,” Draco snapped, turning to look out to the water outside the window, his face hard. He wasn’t angry at his friends, but at himself.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but of course Blaise was right.

— —

The sun was shining down brightly through the Great Hall windows, signalling the start of the next day. Breakfast was spread across the four House tables and students chatted happily. Draco sat quietly between Goyle and Pansy, who were both too preoccupied stuffing their faces to strike up conversation. Which Draco wasn’t complaining about, he wasn’t in a chatty mood.

The afternoon’s Quidditch match between Slytherin and Hufflepuff had been on Draco’s mind for a while. He had always been slightly nervous before each match — not that he’d ever admit that to anyone, of course.

“Not gonna eat?” Blaise uttered through a mouthful of toast, motioning towards Draco’s empty plate.

Draco shook his head, “Nope.”

Though he was staring out of the large window, eyeing the pleasant weather and clear conditions, he caught sight of you from the corner of his eye.

Trying not to give away that he was staring, he quickly glanced at you before returning to where he was previously staring. Though already nervous, his heart did a little flip in his chest.

You were wearing an emerald green sweater that said ‘Slytherin Quidditch’ on the front, a sign you were bound to come to the game today. You usually did, but he wanted to be sure. Still out of the corner of his eye, he could see you take a seat further up the table with another girl, the two of you emerging into conversation right away.

Draco fought the urge to glance over again, deciding that he’d be too obvious with Blaise and Pansy gazing at him every few seconds.

“Nervous?” Pansy asked upon watching Draco’s leg bounce up and down.

“No,” he replied rather quickly, “Excited. I don’t get nevous.”

She seemed to question him, but didn’t pester him any further. Blaise, on the other hand, seemed to not want to drop the subject.

“So, should we make today’s game more interesting?” he placed his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands, wiggling his eyebrows.

Draco squinted at him, not sure what he was getting at, “Quidditch is always interesting.”

“Fair point,” Blaise shrugged, “But I have a proposition.”

“How so?”

Blaise leaned back, taking his elbows off the table and motioning his head in your direction, “Well, if we win, you ‘fess up.”

Draco’s eyes widened slightly and his breath faltered. Of course, Blaise was going to force him into telling you his feelings.

“That’s stupid,” Draco scoffed, trying not to think about what would happen if he did confess to you. You could end up liking him back and the two of you could go off and be happy together. Or, you could shut him down and ruin whatever friendship you two had. The latter seemed like too much of a risk.

“No, it’s not,” Blaise’s lips curled up into a smirk, “You’re gonna have to tell her at some point. Why not do it after you’ve won?”

Draco scowled, hating the fact that Blaise did indeed have a point. He glanced over at you, your face broken out into a smile and your hair falling loosely around your face. You looked radiant, and if he didn’t confess to you, he was sure someone else would snatch you up in a heartbeat. The mere thought of you with someone else was enough to send Draco’s heart into slight turmoil.

“Fine,” he stuck his hand out, ready to shake Blaise’s, “But then if we lose, you confess to Daphne.”

Blaise’s prideful expression faltered, “Caught me there. Alright, deal.”

“Deal.”

— —

Draco nearly forgot practice was starting early today, so as tumbled around his room getting ready for the match, he scolded himself for losing track of him.

Once his Quidditch equipment was on and he picked up his broom, he bolted towards the door and down the stairs.

“Woah, slow your roll there, cowboy,” your voice caught Draco off guard and he spun around on the spot, looking at where you were pressed up against the wall to avoid him crashing into you.

“Sorry,” he muttered, his chest feeling tingly as you beamed up at him.

“You forget there was a game or what?”

He shook his head, scanning you quickly. You were still wearing your Quidditch sweater but your hair was now tied back and out of your face and you had your House scarf tied neatly around your neck.

“Well,” you poked him in the chest where his number was situated, “Good luck out there, Draco. I’ll be cheering you on. Hope you win!”

And with that, you were up the stairs and out of view.

“Yeah, me too,” he mumbled quietly, shaking his head once he realized he was even later than before, and took off out of the common room and down to the Quidditch pitch.

When the game started, the sun was gone. The sky had become darker and a cool breeze swept though the pitch. Students huddled together in the stands, wrapped up under blankets and using each other’s sweaters for warmth.

As Draco flew around on his broom, keeping a watchful eye out of the Snitch, he glanced over to where you were sitting, his insides raging in nerves. You were huddled up next to Daphne Greengrass, the two of you wearing matching sweaters and watching the game intently, cheering every time Slytherin scored.

He also noticed how you’d glance up to him every now and then, sending him a smile or a thumbs up. It didn’t really help the anxious feeling in his chest, but it did give him a boost of confidence.

Almost too distracted by the thought of asking you out, he kept having to shake his head to clear his thoughts. It was driving him mad.

And that’s when he spotted it. A tiny golden flutter next to one of the Hufflepuff goal posts. Without missing a beat, Draco took off at full speed, not even bothering to check where the Hufflepuff Seeker was. He didn’t really care.

He got closer and closer and finally, felt the cool metallic feeling of the Snitch between his fingers. His heart did a summersault.

He raised his hand in the air, causing the entire Slytherin section to burst out into loud cheers. His eyes found you, standing up on your feet and clapping loudly. A burst of pride erupted in him, and with confidence, took off on his broom towards your section.

He hadn’t really thought this through, but as he approached where you were seated, he felt as if acting on impulse was going to be better for him anyways.

He stopped his flying, hopping off his broom and into the stands. His eyes were locked on yours, who were staring right back at him with both excitement and confusion. He started walking towards you, ignoring his teammates calling out to him and the stares he was getting from the fellow Slytherins surrounding the two of you.

Once he reached you, he sent you a shy smile, which you immediately returned. Your cheeks were dusted with pink, whether from the cold air or the proximity, he didn’t know.

“Nice catch,” you said quietly, motioning to his hand which was still holding onto the Snitch.

“Thanks,” he replied lamely and breathlessly, “I need to tell you something.”

You cocked an eyebrow af him and he took it as a sign to continue. He wasn’t sure how to say it apart from just being blunt and upfront.

“I like you. A lot.”

He watched your expression change from confusion, to shock, to happy. Your face broke into a massive grin and you stepped closer to him, almost making the space between you two non-existent.

“I know.”

Draco’s eyes widened, “You know?”

You giggled slightly, “Of course. You don’t hide it well.”

Embrassed, Draco began wishing he hadn’t done this in front of such a large crowd. He had confessed his feelings to you, and all you had said back was that you knew about them all along. Did this mean you felt the same? Did it mean you didn’t say anything about them because you didn’t want anything to happen between you two?

“I can see you overthinking,” you brought him back to reality, placing your arms around his neck, shivers rushing down his spine at the contact, “I like you too, you know.”

“Y-You do?” he failed to hide his shock, nearly dropping the Snitch as his hands instinctively wrapped around your waist.

You nodded, “Yep. You’re cute and all, found myself falling for you like a year ago.”

He couldn’t fight the grin that formed on his face at your words, relief spreading through him like a wave. He couldn’t even begin to express how much joy that had brought him, worried that telling you might make you realize how crazy he was about you.

“I have never been more relieved,” he breathed out, resting his forehead against yours, loving the contact, “I was so worried you didn’t feel the same way.”

You chuckled, beginning to run your hands through his messy hair, “Well, tell the worry to go away because I do. Now, are you going to kiss me or what?”

He didn’t even hesitate, “Gladly.”

And leaning down, finally connected his lips to yours.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fanfics #draco malfoy one shots #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy reader insert

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bevioletskies · 3 years

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how sweet it is (to be loved by you)

summary: Although he would never admit it, Apollo really wants to impress Klavier by making dessert from scratch for their first date at his apartment, despite his complete lack of baking experience. With the help of his overenthusiastic sister (and no help from his mischievous cat), Apollo thinks he just might be able to pull it off.

word count: 4.8k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day four of seven (prompt: "cooking"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

This fic takes place at some distant point in time after Spirit of Justice where Apollo and Trucy have learned that they’re siblings, but doesn’t reference any specific plotlines otherwise. Fic title is from the song How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) by Marvin Gaye.

“Don’t look at me like that, okay? I can feel you judging me, and I don’t appreciate it. I swear, I-I know what I’m doing! But it doesn’t help with you staring at me like you just know I’m gonna screw up!”

Mikeko blinked. “Mreow.”

“Polly, are you talking to your cat again?” Apollo turned to see Trucy walking towards him with huge bags of flour and sugar in her arms.

“Just a reminder - his name is Mikeko, and he’s an asshole,” Apollo grouched, hurrying over to help before she could drop everything on the floor. The last thing he needed was to get white powder stuck in his kitchen tile grout, again. There was a reason Ema wasn’t allowed to bring her forensics kit to his place anymore. “He peed on my rug the other day. I thought he was sick so I took him to the vet, and nothing. He’s an asshole.”

“You talk about your cat like you talk about your boyfriend, and I dunno which one’s worse,” Trucy mused, elbowing him playfully. “Though obviously, you love ‘em both, since that cat tree over there looks like it costs more than your TV. And, y’know, the fact that you asked me to help you bake for him! Er, your boyfriend, not your cat.”

“You don’t say,” Apollo said dryly, hoisting the bags onto the kitchen counter. “Klavier has an insatiable sweet tooth for a guy with a six-pack. I blame his parents and their baking habits.”

“C’mon, you love his parents,” Trucy giggled. She hopped onto the counter, nearly knocking the flour over in the process. Apollo shot her a dirty look that she blatantly ignored. “So, what’re we making? I’m surprised you asked me to help and then didn’t tell me what we were gonna do!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Apollo sighed, smoothing out the wrinkles in his apron. “We’re making, uh...bienenstich, or bee sting cake. It’s one of his childhood favorites, apparently; it’s got vanilla cream and…” He paused to glance down at the recipe on his phone. “...‘a crunchy caramelized almond topping’.”

“Sounds yummy!” Trucy replied, idly swinging her legs back and forth. Mikeko seemed very interested in chasing her untied shoelaces. “Seriously, though, why did you ask me? I mean, when I first started living with Daddy, I learned how to cook pretty fast, but I never really learned how to bake.”

Apollo softened. “I just wanted to hang out with you, Truce. That’s all.”

Trucy folded her hands over her heart. “Aww, Polly!” She then grinned devilishly. “Of course you did.”

“Now you’re an asshole, too,” Apollo informed her, kissing her cheek before turning back to the other side of the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Mikeko, sitting in his sink, lounging lazily across every last mixing bowl he’d just washed. “Mik, what the hell - you were just on the floor a second ago, you - ”

“Meow,” Mikeko interrupted, his tail swishing nonchalantly through the air.

“...cool, cool.” Apollo wiped his hands, then proceeded to lift Mikeko right out of the sink and deposit him onto his cat tree. His paws were still damp; he mewled in protest. “Well, this is going about as well as I expected.”

“I’m excited,” Trucy offered, still beaming. “Let’s go!”

_____

Once Trucy found the appropriate playlist to blast on her phone (“Any performer worth their salt knows they need good background music, Polly!” “But...this isn’t a performance. Also, this is more Maroon 5 than I’m comfortable with.”), she got to work on re-washing the dishes Mikeko had ruined while Apollo shuffled around the kitchen, grabbing the rest of the ingredients. He’d bought quite a few items he didn’t usually have in stock, having next to no experience with baking. The recipe claimed bienenstich was easy to make, though he had his doubts when it came to his abilities - and his luck.

“So, how’ve you and Klavier been?” Trucy asked, drying the last of the spatulas. “Things must be pretty good if you’re baking for him.”

“Good, definitely good,” Apollo replied. “We’ve had a couple of hiccups, but nothing we’ve had to worry about, y’know?”

“Gee, how romantic,” Trucy drawled. “I was hoping for something juicier than that, Polly! Have you had any fun dates lately? Cute moments? Nice gifts? It sure was nice of his mom to send more apple strudels to the agency the other day!”

“Are you my sister, or a tabloid reporter?” Apollo flicked a spray of flour onto the front of her apron, ducking before she could retaliate. “Well, we had a good time at his parents’ house the other day. I made pretzels with his mom, and his dad had a ton of podcast recommendations for like, nerd stuff. We, uh...we even talked about Mom for a bit. They wanna meet her someday.”

Trucy’s eyes widened. “Really? When’s that gonna happen?”

“Not sure,” Apollo admitted. “But hey, do you wanna join us when it does? They’ve been dying to meet you, too.”

“Like you have to ask!” Trucy said brightly. She took a moment to methodically spread out all of their equipment across the kitchen counter, smiling in satisfaction when she was done. “There - we’re ready to go. What’s the actual first step?”

“The dough, it says,” Apollo said, turning back to the recipe. “We’re s’posed to mix the dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately. Although I guess the actual actual first step is measuring the ingredients.”

“I’ll do dry, you do wet,” Trucy replied, passing him one of the mixing bowls. “Y’know…‘cos you're such a wet blanket and all.”

Apollo blinked. “...okay, wow. We’re here to bake a cake, not roast me.” Trucy giggled mischievously, then got to work on measuring out the flour, sugar, yeast, and salt. Apollo, meanwhile, started with pouring the milk - easy enough - then stared at the egg carton and sticks of butter sitting in front of him. He’d never been intimidated by either before, but right now, he found them oddly daunting.

“Polly, are you trying to perceive the ingredients or somethin’?” Trucy asked, rapping her knuckles against the side of his head a little too sharply for his liking. “The cake isn’t a lie, you know.”

Once again, Apollo found himself looking at her incredulously. “Wha - th-that joke is older than you are!” Then, a brief swish of movement over Trucy’s shoulder caught his eye. “Wait…” Sitting on the opposite counter was Mikeko, who was innocently sniffing the bag of sliced almonds. “Mik - ”

“Mrrh,” Mikeko purred, his tail perking up at the sound of his name. He then flopped onto his side, rolling over to present his belly. “Mrrh?”

“Don’t ‘mrrh’ me, get away from there,” Apollo huffed, flapping his hands in Mikeko’s direction. He seemed unmoved. “Do you want me to lock you in my bedroom? Really? Is that what we have to do?” Sighing, Mikeko got up and hopped down from the counter, sauntering off to the living room with a sulky grimace. “Thank you.”

“You really do act like he’s human,” Trucy commented, watching Mikeko go. “Mr. Edgeworth’s like that with Pess, only he’s way nicer to her than you are to Mikeko.”

“Probably because Pess doesn’t sit on his chest in the middle of the night while he's sleeping and make him think he’s having a heart attack,” Apollo said wryly, reaching for the sticks of butter. If he let them sit out for too long, they were going to start melting. “How’s that whole...thing going, anyway? I feel like Mr. Edgeworth’s been visiting the agency a lot lately...only, nothing ever seems to happen.”

“Story of their lives, according to Ema and Aunt Maya,” Trucy said, rolling her eyes exasperatedly. “At this rate, I’m gonna get married before Daddy does!” She then smirked. “Or should I say, you’re gonna get - ”

“Hey, l-let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Apollo protested, his cheeks reddening. “How’s it going with the dry ingredients?”

“All done!” Trucy chirped, tilting her bowl slightly so he could see. “Wait, you still haven’t done the butter or eggs yet? Apollo!”

“Yeah, yeah, I was kinda busy dealing with that jerk over there.” Trucy glanced across the way to the living room; she could’ve sworn Mikeko was sticking his tongue out at them. Apollo then pushed the butter towards her. “Here - you do the butter, I’ll take care of the eggs.” The two of them worked in silence for a minute or so, the only sounds in the apartment being the crinkle of the butter’s parchment paper and the tap-tap of the eggs against the mixing bowl. It didn’t take long before their silence was broken. “...shit.”

“Eggshell?” Trucy guessed without looking up. “Sheesh, you really did need help. Here, give it to me!”

Apollo nudged the bowl in her direction, defeated, then wiped the sweat off his brow. “Damn, I didn’t think I was gonna be this bad! I made bread and pretzels with Klavier’s mom, and that went pretty well.”

“I bet it’s ‘cos she did most of the work,” Trucy teased. “Wait - Apollo, there’s more eggshell in here than actual egg!”

“I…” Apollo paused. “...have no excuses.” He then groaned. “Ugh, we still have so much left to do! This cake better be worth it.”

“It’s more like if you think your boyfriend’s worth it, and he is, isn’t he?” Trucy finished fishing out the last of the eggshells, then poked Apollo’s side with her yolk-covered finger. “So c’mon, let’s keep going. We mix them together, right?”

Apollo smiled softly. “Yeah. And hey, I’m...I’m really glad you’re here, Trucy. Thanks for helping me out.”

“It’s just baking, Polly, you don’t hafta be so dramatic,” Trucy said, though she was beaming regardless. “Now move it, or this cake’s still gonna be in the oven when he gets here!”

_____

A little over two hours later, Apollo jumped up from his couch at the sound of his doorbell. His face brightened when he saw Klavier on the other side of the door, dressed casually in an oversized hoodie and joggers. Klavier had been so particular about how he’d dressed for their first few dates that Apollo was always happy to see him in more relaxed attire. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?”

Klavier raised an eyebrow. “You always greet me in the strangest ways, schatz. Did something happen, are you okay?”

Apollo let out an internal sigh of relief; Klavier had yet to notice anything off-putting at all. “No, no, I-I’m fine, just - i-it’s been a long day, and it’s good to see you. I mean, it’s always good to see you - usually good to see you, depending on what’s going on, ‘cos not gonna lie, you still pull the most inane crap in the courtroom, but, uh. It’s good that you’re here. Hi.”

Klavier’s eyebrows remained raised. “...hi. Anyway, I brought dinner and dessert.” He lifted the two bags he was carrying so Apollo could see. “As it turns out, our favorite Taiwanese place was having a promotion. Spend thirty dollars or more, we get free tofu pudding. Achtung, I love a good deal!”

“That’s not what your bank account says,” Apollo teased. “And, er, that’s great, and we should definitely eat it while it’s fresh, but I actually made dessert for us, too.”

“Really?” Apollo was starting to think Klavier’s eyebrows were never going to come back down. “What did you make?”

“No spoilers,” Apollo said, tugging on Klavier’s sleeve. “C’mon, get in here before my neighbors spot you. I swear, I heard one of them blasting Love With No Chance Of Parole the other night. If they find out you’re my boyfriend, I’m never gonna hear the end of it.”

“Finally starting to recognize my songs, are you?” Klavier chuckled, stepping into Apollo’s apartment. “I’ll make a Gavinners fan out of you yet, baby.” He then looked around, curious, as he took off his shoes. “Your place doesn’t look nearly as bad as you made it sound. It’s...charming.”

“Real diplomatic way of saying it looks like crap,” Apollo said wryly, closing the door behind him. He was well aware of his peeling wallpaper and cat-scratched furniture, his dusty windows and his water-damaged ceiling. “Wait until you have to use my bathroom. I swear the sink is haunted.”

“How comforting.” Klavier’s eyes lit up at the sound of tiny little feet padding over in his direction; he crouched down so he could be at eye level, one hand outstretched to beckon him closer. “Why, guten tag, kätzchen! I’m so glad I finally get to meet you.” Mikeko stopped dead in his tracks, eyeing Klavier up and down warily. Then, without another sound, he turned and walked away, tail swishing pointedly in the air. Klavier looked up at Apollo dejectedly. “Ach, what did I do?”

“Mikeko only likes me and tolerates Trucy,” Apollo shrugged, trying not to laugh at Klavier’s miserable expression. “I wouldn’t take it personally. C’mon, let’s eat!”

“I’m going to take it a little personally,” Klavier muttered under his breath, following Apollo across the open living space. It wasn’t long before they were set up at the dining table, working their way through their Taiwanese beef noodles, fried chicken, and scallion pancakes. Apollo hummed happily as he ate; he hadn’t realized how hungry he was or how difficult baking could be until now. “So, how was your day?”

“Didn’t do much,” Apollo said, shrugging. “Since it’s my day off, I just kinda - y’know, played video games, watched some TV. Re-organized my bookshelf for the millionth time. I still haven’t decided if my brain likes it organized by author, title, genre, or color.”

“You also made dessert, apparently,” Klavier replied. “Are you really not going to tell me what it is?”

“Curiosity killed the cat, and even though my cat’s an asshole, I prefer him alive,” Apollo said, playfully nudging Klavier’s leg with his foot. “You can wait thirty minutes, can’t you?”

“Ach, the suspense,” Klavier laughed. “Fine, fine. Can I at least ask why you decided to bake for us?”

“It’s the first time you’ve been to my place, so I figured I’d do something nice,” Apollo said, sniffing very slightly. The smell of burnt sugar was starting to waft into his nose; he crossed his fingers underneath the table in the hopes that Klavier couldn’t smell it, too.

“Er - are you okay, Apollo?” Klavier asked, lowering his chopsticks. “You’re...sniffling. I didn’t accidentally bring some pollen in here, did I?”

“Sniffing, not sniffling,” Apollo corrected. “There’s a difference. And nah, it’s nothing. Just wasn’t sure if Mik might’ve peed somewhere...as he does.”

“Ah, cats,” Klavier said, nodding sagely. “Don’t tell your kätzchen I’m more of a dog person, bitte. We’re already off to a bad start as it is.”

“Brave of you, saying that out loud,” Apollo remarked. “If Mik comes after you in your sleep tonight, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Klavier turned to look at Mikeko, who was currently on the kitchen counter, scarfing down his dinner. He lifted his head to make direct eye contact, chewing menacingly all the while. Klavier shuddered. “How about you, what were you up to today?”

“The most boring prosecutor’s office meeting ever, not that that’s anything new,” Klavier sighed, turning back to face Apollo. “And I had no cases to prosecute, so I spent my day wishing I was here instead. Even if you and Mikeko weren’t around, I’d rather watch your wallpaper die a slow death than listen to Herr Payne whine about his life while we’re all waiting for the coffee maker. I don’t see how it’s my or Herr Blackquill’s fault that he hasn’t had a raise in over ten years. If all he can brag about is making new defense attorneys cry instead of actually doing his job, then he should be grateful he still has a career to begin with, ach.”

Apollo blinked. “...huh. I guess I never really thought about the kind of office politics you have to deal with. Meanwhile, the only thing I’ve had to deal with lately is Athena nearly breaking Trucy’s finger during an arm-wrestling match.”

Klavier winced, popping a piece of chicken in his mouth. “Is that something that happens often?”

“More often than it should,” Apollo replied sagely. Klavier wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or slightly terrified.

After they finished dinner, Klavier insisted on helping Apollo with the dishes, seeing as how there was a huge pile of them in the sink, almost none of them from their dinner. Some were splattered with cake batter, others with vanilla cream. Thankfully, Apollo had already rinsed all the pans and utensils he’d used to make the topping, or else the sliced almonds would’ve given him away entirely.

“No peeking in the fridge or you’re not getting any,” Apollo warned, waving a spatula in his face.

“Are we talking about dessert, or...something else?” Klavier blinked innocently when Apollo continued to glare. “Ja, ja, I hear you.” He then paused. “Can I at least speculate? I have an educated guess.”

“You have zero patience sometimes,” Apollo complained, knocking his hip against Klavier’s, though with their height difference, it was more like his hip against Klavier’s thigh. “Let’s finish up here so you have nothing to complain about, alright?”

As they puttered around the kitchen together, Apollo had to subtly, but constantly direct Klavier away from the oven before he could see the remnants of a burnt pan still left on one of the stovetop elements; he hadn’t had enough time to completely scrub them away, though he had gotten rid of the worst of it. For once, he was grateful Klavier favored heavy scents, which seemed to be masking the smell for him.

“Mrrp.” Just as Klavier was drying the last of the plates, he felt something weaving between his ankles. “Mreow?”

“Have you changed your mind about me, kätzchen?” he asked, delighted. Mikeko aggressively smushed his face against Klavier’s calf in response. Apollo watched them both in amazement. “Is that a ja or a nein?”

“Mrrh,” Mikeko rumbled.

“Oh, this is definitely a trap,” Apollo warned. “He probably wants something from you, so don’t fall for it, Klav.”

“You talk about him like he’s an unruly witness on the witness stand,” Klavier said, amused. “He’s just a sweet little kätzchen, what could he possibly - ” Mikeko sneezed, violently.

“There it is,” Apollo sighed.

Klavier winced at the wet spot Mikeko had left behind on his sweatpants. “Achtung, gesundheit!” He then chuckled, shaking his head as Mikeko wandered off, clearly pretending nothing had happened. Either that, or he was embarrassed, though Apollo suspected it was more the former than the latter. “Like human, like cat, I see; it’s allergy season all around. Is it my cologne, do you think?”

“Might be,” Apollo shrugged, wiping his hands. “Okay, you big baby, are you ready for dessert now?”

“You’re acting like I’ve talked about nothing else,” Klavier protested, wrapping his arms around Apollo from behind and burying his face against Apollo’s neck. He then began pressing slow, deliberate kisses along the length of Apollo’s throat. His nose was momentarily filled with the scent of Klavier’s aforementioned cologne, the scent of sandalwood instead of burnt sugar. “I would love to have dessert, baby.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Then we can eat what you made after.”

“Why am I dating you,” Apollo groaned, lightly shoving him away. Klavier snickered, hopping up onto the kitchen counter. “Sheesh, you’re like a cheap Hallmark card and a bad pick-up artist at the same time.”

“Is there such a thing as a good pick-up artist?” Klavier mused, still grinning. “Anyway, I’m serious. Let’s see what you made for us, liebe.” Apollo felt oddly nervous as he opened his refrigerator and carefully pulled out the covered tray from the top shelf. He set it down on the counter, right beside Klavier, then went to grab plates, forks, and a decent-sized knife. “Ah, a knife! Was my prediction correct?”

“Can you let me live for two seconds, please?” Apollo grumbled, softening when Klavier leaned down to kiss him on the cheek. “Okay, okay, careful around the guy with the knife in his hand. I-I’m gonna take off the cover now.”

They both held their breaths just as Apollo lifted the tray cover, as overly dramatic as it sounded. The sensation was stupidly similar to how they felt during a particularly stressful trial. Klavier’s eyes widened at the sight before him. “...bienenstich?”

“Wait…” Apollo leaned closer. “...what happened?!”

The state of his bienenstich was...questionable, to say the least. To start, the caramelized almond topping, which had hardened nicely in the refrigerator earlier, now looked like it had been through an earthquake, full of little holes and fissures. The thick layer of vanilla cream between the two layers of cake was oozing out the sides, having somehow melted since Apollo put it in the fridge over an hour ago. Finally, most of the bottom layer of cake was soggy and crumbling apart, clearly thanks to the melting cream.

“You gotta be kidding me!” Apollo exclaimed, setting the knife aside and hurriedly digging his phone out of his pocket. “Here, I took a picture earlier, i-it - it looked perfect, I-I made sure of it - ”

“I’m sure it did, Apollo,” Klavier said gently, rubbing his shoulders in sympathy. “Let’s see your picture, then.”

Groaning, Apollo held his phone up to Klavier’s face. “Seriously, look. I took so many photos, I was gonna send ‘em to your parents and thank them for teaching me the basics...I even made the topping three times ‘cos I burnt the first two attempts!”

“Is that what that smell was?” Klavier shrunk at Apollo’s venomous expression. “Sorry, baby, I just - I didn’t want to say anything in case it was, you know, a weird apartment smell.” He then perked up. “But if you ask me...looks have nothing to do with taste. That goes for both food and people, apropos, though I consider myself blessed that you’re the very best of both.”

“Har, har...also, ew,” Apollo added, wrinkling his nose. “Well, let’s hope you’re right.” With renewed vigor, he picked up the knife once more and carefully cut two modest-sized pieces, transferring them to their respective plates. He passed one plate to Klavier, then, after they exchanged nervous looks, they both took their first tentative bites. “...oh.”

“See? It’s just as I said!” Klavier declared, grinning victoriously. “I’m not going to pretend it’s the most perfect bienenstich I’ve ever had, but - it’s good, Apollo. It’s really, really good. I wouldn’t have known it was your first attempt if I hadn’t seen it. Even then, it’s hardly a disaster. Just a bit, ah, lopsided.”

Apollo was quiet for another moment or so, letting the taste linger on his tongue. The texture was a bit odd, thanks to the half-melted cream and the soggy cake, but it was just as sweet and satisfying as he’d been hoping it would be. “...huh. So I guess we didn’t accidentally swap the salt and sugar like I thought we might’ve done.”

“We?” Klavier echoed as he took another bite, more generous in size this time.

“Yeah, Trucy came over to help me. Guess I forgot to mention that,” Apollo added. “We haven’t had much time to hang out outside of work stuff lately, so...I thought it’d be a fun afternoon thing. Kinda turned into a nightmare instead? Like, the smell of burnt sugar is everywhere for a reason. Don’t look inside my oven, please.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Klavier laughed, delighted. “I can only imagine what went on before I got here, achtung.” It wasn’t long before he was scraping his plate clean; he was still eyeing the rest of the cake hungrily. He turned when Apollo made a mild noise of disgust. “Ah - what happened?”

“What always happens around here.” Apollo plucked a tiny, but obvious cat hair from the end of his fork. “At least I didn’t eat this one. I think I’ve consumed more cat hairs than I’ve had paying clients.” He then looked at Klavier with raised eyebrows. “You’re not expecting another piece right now, are you?”

“I like bienenstich, okay?” Klavier said defensively, though he finally got down from the kitchen counter so he could put his fork and plate in the sink, dropping a sticky-sweet kiss on Apollo’s cheek on his way over. “Danke, baby, that was really good. Can I take some back with me, bitte?”

“Of course, babe. I’m certainly not eating the rest of it by myself,” Apollo snorted, finishing off his own piece. He put his dishes in the sink, taking a moment to rinse off his and Klavier’s plates, then let out a relieved sigh. “Well, at least it tasted good, even if it looked like crap.”

“I know it’s pointless, saying this to you, but - don’t worry so much, hm?” Klavier wrapped his arms around Apollo’s midsection; before Apollo knew it, he was being lifted and set down onto the counter, right where Klavier had been. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, bringing his hands to rest on Klavier’s shoulders, his legs wrapped loosely around Klavier’s waist. “I’m impressed, liebling, I mean it. I know Mama’s been teaching you how to bake, but for you to do it on your own time for us to enjoy...I should really step up my game here, don’t you think?”

“Hardly,” Apollo said, dropping his head to Klavier’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to Klavier’s neck. “Thanks, Klav. Glad you liked it.”

“Bitte schön,” Klavier replied, gently lifting Apollo’s chin so he could kiss him properly. They both tasted like vanilla and honey; Apollo pushed Klavier’s hair out of his face so it wouldn't run the risk of getting sticky. Mere seconds later, they were interrupted by a tiny, impudent meow. Sighing, Klavier reluctantly broke away so he could stare down at the culprit by his feet. “Can I help you, kätzchen? I thought we were cool...until you used my sweatpants as a tissue, that is. These are Moncler, I’ll have you know.”

“Mreow,” Mikeko trilled, tail thrashing violently against Klavier’s leg. Shaking his head in amusement, Apollo got down from the counter so he could pick him up and cradle him, rocking him back and forth like a baby. “Mrrp.”

“I’m kinda curious to see if he’ll let you pet him,” Apollo said. “You wanna try?” Klavier lifted a cautious hand, then slowly began petting Mikeko, taking care not to disturb the sleekness of his long, thick fur. Klavier let out a soft laugh when Mikeko began to purr, his eyes closing contentedly as he smushed his face against Klavier’s hand, just like he’d done to his leg earlier. “Hey, would you look at that - it’s a not-Christmas miracle!”

“I feel as if I’ve been blessed,” Klavier chuckled, rubbing Mikeko’s ears for good measure. “Have I passed your secret test somehow, kätzchen? Am I a good partner for your papa?” Mikeko mewled happily.

“I can’t believe you didn’t even do anything and he already likes you,” Apollo sighed. “Mik, I thought you were smarter than this.”

“I can’t tell if you want him to like me or not,” Klavier said dryly, dropping a kiss to the top of Mikeko’s forehead. Mikeko’s purr only seemed to intensify. Apollo rolled his eyes; now Klavier was just showing off. “So now that all of our bienenstich excitement is over, should we put a movie on, maybe try a small bite of that tofu pudding? I have a desperate need to cuddle after the day I’ve had.”

“Day you had?” Apollo echoed, neatly depositing Mikeko back onto his cat tree. “You said you had a boring meeting and no trials. How bad could it have been?”

“I had to listen to Herr Payne gush about his wife that definitely exists,” Klavier bemoaned, lifting the back of his hand to his forehead as if he were about to faint. Apollo was sure if he rolled his eyes any harder, he would sprain something. “Herr Debeste kept asking to borrow a pencil for some reason. I’m serious, baby, don’t laugh at me, he kept knocking on my door every thirty minutes - ”

“The only baby I see around here is you, baby,” Apollo teased, prodding Klavier in the chest. “But fine, fine, I hear you. You go sulk on the couch and pick out a movie while you wait. I'm gonna put the bienenstich back in the fridge and send your mom my pre-disaster pictures. Maybe she’ll have some advice for my next attempt.”

Klavier perked up. “Next attempt? You mean you’re going to make it again? Ah, ich liebe dich, mein schatz, mein süßer, mein - ”

“Oh my god,” Apollo groaned, sighing. “Maybe, okay? Maybe. I’m not making any promises, I don’t want my apartment to permanently smell like burnt sugar hell.” Still, Apollo found himself biting back a smile, kissing Klavier briefly before lightly nudging him in the direction of his living room. “...and I love you, too. Dork.”

_____

a/n: Welcome to my fourth entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the sixth of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. Mikeko being a jerk who only likes maybe three people at a time is one of my favorite random headcanons! I know I set a lot of my fics in Apollo's apartment (or Klavier's), but one of the main reasons that I do is for Mikeko and Mikeko alone. If you're looking for a Mikeko-centric fic (kind of), if you could read my mind is one of my favorite short-ish fics that I've ever written.

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you’re all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

#KlapolloWeek2021 #klapollo #kyodoroki #klapollo fic #ace attorney #ace attorney fic #myfic #long post #almost forgot to post this oops lmao #also my day two fic hasn't been archived! guess i'll send y'all a quick ask later #i think i'd tagged something incorrectly so that's my bad

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Scotrospective: Scott Pilgrim Vs the World (The Comic)

Hello, Hello, Hello scottaholics! And what a beautiful day it is: After decades lost in the lost woods, at least it had that catchy tune to keep it company, Scott Pilgrim Vs the World: The Game is FINALLY back and performing for you on all platforms!

Even Stadia, the platform most likely to disappear like this game did for a while! Cheap shots at the stadia aside as a huge fan of the franchise as a whole and of this game who played it back on the 360, and had since sold said 360 so I had no way to get it back or ever play the dlc packs. Seriously who didn’t want to play wallace but never got to? Everyone, everyone is the answer. But with those the entirety of what I consider to be the main cast is playable, it has online so you can beat up hipsters, guys in costumes and robots with your friends, it’s a good damn feeling. And since i’m in a celebratory mood, naturally i’m also feeling like a review. And since it just so happens the next volume up in my look at the comics is Vs the World, seriously I planned this review for this month without thinking to have it come out on the same day as the game until a week or two in, I felt there was no better way to celebrate the biggest day for Scott Pilgrim fans in some time.. and for Brian Lee O Malley as he’ll stop getting twitter asks about it. So with all the exposition taken care of LAST TIME, and the link right there if your curious, we can jump right in. On with the show!

After our opening titles, and yes this comic has opening titles, with Ramona sitting solmely in the rain.

And Scott caught in the title. The rain shot is real pretty by the way. But yeah once we get past those we’re taken back 7 years ago. Finn found out his father was an asshole, and voiced by Stephen Root so hey you take the good with the bad, Steven just learned the horrifying truth about Gem Monsters, Guardians of the Galaxy saved the MCU and I was trying to find work after college.. wait... sorry sorry that was 7 years ago from THIS year. The comic came out in 2005, though the comic takes place on a sliding timescale where only like 2 years pass so I dunno when this is. Let’s just say 98. Okay so 1998: Bill Cllinton’s sex scandal breaks, and puts way too much of hte blame on the young intern whose life came to be defined by one stupid mistake she made with a man who was way older and should’ve known better, the tide of the Monday Night War turned in favor of the WWF as Stone Cold Steve Austin became a household name, and it was an utterly standup year for video game relaases with Ocarina of Time, Banjo-Kazooie, Crash Bandicoot: Warped, StarCraft, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, WWF: War Zone, Pokemon Stadium, Spyro The Dragon, Pokemon Yellow, WarioLand 2, Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, Pokemon: Trading Card Game and Sonic Adventure. It’s like someone took a good chunk of my childhood and squeezed it into one year holy shit, I did not expect this when looking up what came out in 98.

And while the movie pool wasn't’ quite this amazing, we still had The Wedding Singer, The Big Lebowski, the dude abides, Batman and Mr Freeze: SubZero, The Truman Show, Mulan, the good one not the one made near concetration camps that makes her into a demigod, Saving Private Ryan, Blade, Simon Birch, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, Rushmore, Bride of Chucky, HalloweenTown, Plesantville, and the Prince of Egypt. And in music Weird Al changed from his first signature look to his second, getting Lasik and growing out his hair. Seirously had no idea that was this year. Good to know. Also Elton John got his knighthood. Super shooters. I could go on with 1998 triva for days but I cannot go on for 8 weeks so let’s get to the point here.. during alllla this Scott Pilgrim, age 16, was starting St. John’s Catholic School and a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble. . by threatning to beat him up for no real reason. A fight insues and we cut to the principal’s office as Scott’s still a minor and not allowed to get into death fights just yet under the people’s freedom of choices and voices act.

It’s here he meets Lisa Miler, a peppy and sarcastic blonde, who’s intrigued by the fact Scott somehow got beat up after being here just 15 minutes and wants to be friends. Naturally for scott next we see him he’s busy playing video games, and annoyed someone else is around and wondering who this person whose now in his basement is. God no wonder teenage me related to him. So for the next few pages we see their friendship in time lapse: Lisa joins him at lunch, then geninely wonders since Scott’s Untentionally a dick if he hates her.. it’s part of why I think Scott has some form of autisim. And not just because I tend to belivie a character is on the spectrum all the damn time, it’s because of the way he acts: while he is nice and charming at times.. he also clearly has trouble relating to people or realizing how his actions effect them and as seen here in a younger form can often be compeltely distanced from normal social queues, not getting how his actions might be seen until Lisa outright talks to him about it. I mean.. it’s not a huge stretch, and it dosen’t mean he’s nto responsible for his own actions, but it does EXPLAIN a lot of them better: why he just sorta forgets about Knives post-ramona but at the same time still cares enough he dosen’t want to hurt her despite you know, that ship sailing just by having moved on.

But now the two are friends and his parents, who we meet for the first time and sister inquire about her being his girlfirned.. and by next jumpcut his parents apparently don’t want him hanging out with girls? What exactly the fuck? Also they mention Laurence, Scott’s brother whose missing for most of the books and has no real payoff for not being around. Next cut we get KIM!

Thank you Prissy. And she’s.. not all that different, assuming, correctly that their partner project, how she meets scott will just result in her doing all the work.. which not only is how these things usually went when I was in high school a decade later, but reminds me of the time me and my friends curtis and justin were put on a project and when asked who the alied powers were, guessed “Germany?”.... you can understand my fear. And also Curtis punching him for getting nothing done.. and not hard or brutally mind you just once quick in the gut and with full warning. Ah... the adaquate old days.

So back to Lisa as, since Scott’s Mom has a guitar.. a fact I.. never honestly thought about. Seriously I never realized her children, since the Bass Scott has for most of the books is Laurence’s, getting into music was probably due to her. Also Lisa makes her case for WHY be a band: the school has a regular event called Lunchapalooza, where everyone goes to and since by teen logic, just being in a band is automiacally cool, she figures they can jump from not QUITE being in any cliques to being super cool. Which honestly yeah... while I didn’t know any bands in high school, the fact one of my friends, ironically named Scott, was a DJ automatically made him pretty damn cool once he got past his awkard phase. I never got past mine but somehow was loved by all except that one douchey kid in our group who mocked me for naming my Luxray kim, assuming it was based on Kim possible and not Kim Pine... though frankly how that’s an insult when Kim Possible was a fucking awesome show and character is beyond me but he was just 17 and also a douchebag, it didn’t have to make since it just had to piss off the easily pissed off kid with aspergers. So Scott poses how they can be a band with just their guitars and Lisa concedes drums WOULD help.. I mean it’s what MADE Shallow Gravy.

So while Kim wonders if Scott is dating Lisa, because teenagers don’t really get girls and boys can be friends without wanting to be together, though not often as teenage boy brains can be rather stupid and horny... can confrim from personal experince. So it becomes clear Scott has a thing for Kim, and when Scott tries broaching it with Lisa she dosen’t take it well and he backpedals to asking her to be her drummer and plans to monday, proving Scott has somehow not gotten better at reading women, or anyone after 7 years. Can relate.

So yeah he decides to ask Monday, same day as their presentation.. and thankfully missed the bus as he arrives to find the Benvy Tech boys came in, took everyone out and abducted Kim. Because yeah, just in case you were wondering Scott’s life was always like this.. or was it? Questions for later. So one Canadian Version of River City Ransom later, Scott’s made his way to simon... who, since most of you have probably seen the movie or art of the movie.. looks an AWFUL lot like Gideon. Hrmmm. Simon is naturally the final boss here and wonders if this is the best St. Joels can muster. Scott quips back as only Scott can.

So cue an unsuprisingly awesome actoin sequence. IT’s part of why I love these color editions: While they already LOOKED thoroughly fantastic the added colors really help the series shonen manga meets old school video game vibe REALLY fucking pop. So Simon pleads mercy which like Scott delivering a good quip.. should’ve really been a red flag to younger me and is foreshadowing for later in case I was too subtle. He then does what any noble hero would do.. kicks simon into the sunset, tells Kim how he feels and asks her to play drums. They then make out. Awwww.

Lisa suprisingly takes it well as the next montage shows.. granted we’ll learn in Feburary she wasn’t QUITE as over scott as it seemed, but the three, along with a friend of Lisa’s whose name I forgot and who DOSEN’T come back so I’m not going to bother learning, form their own friend group, Scott and Kim get an A, and Scott, Kim and Lisa’s band is dubbed sonic and knuckles, which is an objectively awesome band name. Something the series really does great: Video Game Based Band Names. Crash and the Boys, Sex Bomb-Omb, Clash at the Demonhead... we need more bands like this in the real world dammit. So then they play their big game, the two loose their vrigniity.. and then Kim asks scott “your moving to tornoto?” And.. for now.. that’s that.

While the framing of that will be VERY important in the last volume, as notice how KIM’S the one who brings it up and it’s not explicitly stated scott actually told her, this flasback is great. While it does contribute to the volume’s drifty pacing, more on that as we go, it brilliantly sets up a LOT of stuff for later, paticuarlly Lisa who I assumed wouldn’t be back and younger me’s jaw fucking DROPPED when she popped up in Volume 4. Granted i’m spoiling that suprise for you now but odds are most of you reading this have either alreaddy read these or were probably wondering if the girl from the animated short ever had any actual relevance in the books. So yes, yes she does. She’s also the pink haired girl you see pop up in the game in the background, as a nod to O’Malley’s comic strip style which had her and Kim as the leads. Also yeah for fans of the game or movie or even the comics who were unaware.. this prologue got an animated adaption on adult swim to promote the movie. Naturally Micheal Cera and Allison Pill reprised their roles as Scott and Kim, with Mae Whitman voicing lisa.. and honestly being perfect for the roll, and Jason Schrwartzman voicing Simon naturally. While the animation is slightly limited, it still looks decent and expertly translates O’Malley’s art, while sliming things down slightly where needed to fit a short, and the anmation takes a huge bump for the fight scene which like the comic is short but awesome. While it has no real bearing on the film as Kim’s former relationship with Scott never really comes up or has any impact, as the Film while good was based primarily on volumes 1-3 with small pieces of 4 (paticuarlly the iconic “Lesbians gag”), with Wright working off outlines and drafts of 5 and 6, so the last half hour or so is mostly Wright’s invention.

Not a bad thing as it’s still awesome and not o’malley’s fault but it means kim dosen’t get to do much, and is a big reason why I want an adaptation on netflix or hbo max. While i’d still want changes both because there’s no sense doing an adaptation if your not going to make some tweaks of your own and because it’d be intresting to update the series to modern day, both in societal conventions and so everyone stops saying the r word. Seirously the most telling sign of the series age is that word showing up quite a bit during the first half of the series. Point is there is merit in doing another remix of the story and doing a longer form one so we can get more of the characters, as well as flesh out ones like Steven, Neil (Who was done WAY better in the movie adaptation thanks to the wonderful Johnny Simmons), and Stacey who got the shaft in the books. Again, not slagging off the movie, it’s really great. Just saying there’s always room for more Scott Pilgrim content and we all know it.

We’ll get back to the comic proper, and the present day of 2005, after the cut.

So the story proper opens with Scott dreaming of playing video games... because of course he is with Ramona walking in. and finding it charmingly pathetic but wanting her boyfriend to you know, get out of bed. It’s 11:30. So with Scott’s ass out of bed, we find Scott, Age 23 idiot with a heart of gold and Wallace, 25 king of all gays, on the bus as they talk it getting warmer and Lucas Lee, movie star and jason lee stand in coming to town to film a movie.. and Scott being Scott gets him confused for Luke WIlson. He’s also seen Bottle Rocket which.. good on him. Seriously while not wes anderson’s best film, those were made long afte this comic was published, it’s still a damn good one.. where was his career at this point... looking it up life aquatic was his most recent films and is still one of my favorites. So yeah he was in a good place career wise.

Scott proudly talks about having Ramona over in a couple days so she can see his place and meet Wallace. But as explained by Wallace for those of us just tuning in, he already met her last volume. You know during that time Stacey thought she could magically make her date not be attracted to someone else.. and yes even almost a month later not letting that one go. Stacey should know better. Not saying i’ts right Wallace keeps poaching her boyfriends, but she still shoudlnt’ try and force a relationship with a guy or even finish a date with one who makes out with someone else, regardless of gender, mid date. She deserves better. In general not just in this one scenario but we’ll get to that.

Point is while Scott, as usual, is a bit pissy about this Wallace.. has no time for that and issues an ultimatium

And he’s not bluffing, as he fully intends to tell Ramona the minute she walks in the door if he dosen’t break up with Knives. It really shows Wallace off at his best and why he’s Scott’s closest friend: Kim and Stephen do care about him but Kim both has a LOT of unresolved issues and sexual tension with him and keeps eveyrbody including Scott at arm’s length. And Stephen.. while he will OCASIONALLY call Scott out mostly just enables him, either ignoring his college buddy’s shittier behavior or playing along with it and backing him up when Kim rightfully calls him on being a dickhead. While both love their friend they just aren’t the best at dealing with his shit or getting why he does the things he does good and bad. Wallace on the other hand geninely likes Scott. He’ll lock him out of the house and tell him to sleep elsewhere so he can bang one out, he’ll not wear pants if he dosen’t have to and he’ll certainly hit on Scott just to get a rise out of him, phrasing.. but he also genuinely cares for the guy’s well being. He lets him sleep in their house basically rent free since scott has no money, buys most of their stuff, and is, as we’ll see in this one, the ONLY one of his friends to take an active part in the fight against the exes, training Scott and researching his opponents when he can get info. He won’t baby Scott as seen here, but he will help him, and he will be the harsh voice of reason his friend needs. And he did TRY doing a softer approach last time, simply telling scott to break up with his fake high school girlfriend. Scott had every chance to dump Knives during the last third of the first book.. it’s just a combination of both Knives and Ramona being in the same place and Scott getting panicky meant he balked. He NEEDS to be pushed into leaving Knives or he’s not gonna. And he also gets it’s not just Scott being a shifty coward: Scott DOES like Knives.. he just found someone who actually challenges him, intrests him and connects with him on his level, versus someone who worships and adores him like a puppy who just happens to be skilled with knives. The relationship with Knives. was an ego boost, an unequal paring that gave Scott the illusion of moving on from Envy. Ramona is him ACTUALLY moving on and given how badly Envy fucked him up, which comes into play in this book and the next, Wallace recognizes that Scott does need her... but this relationship can’t go anywhere if Scott is seeing someone else, and they both know it. Wallace is just the one who’s willing to do something about it to force scott to do something about it. He’s doing this for Knives too: it’s very clear he cares about the girl, was against this from the start, and knew this was going to end in pain and the faster Scott rips off the Band-Aid the faster she can move on to someone closer to her age and far more equal to her. Scott.. takes this about how you’d expect, even calling Double Standard, as Wallace does sleep around.. and while Wallace will be a homewrecker to Stacey.. otherwise it’s not remotley the same. Wallace does his sleeping around either casually or when he does get a partner, with their consent from what we can tell. He never cheats or anything, he just likes to bone. So yeah Scott doesn’t have a leg to stand on and acts accordingly.

One of my faviorite gags in the series and one that’s etched in my head for keeps. So with a justified Ultimatium over his head Scott calls knives to hang out. Knives.. shows off that as adorable and trusting as she is.. she’s also kind of creepy and shows up just outside the phone booth he’s calling her from. So the two go to a record store and Knives tries to get Scott into Clash at the Demonhead, her faviorite band. But since i’ts you know, headlined by Scott’s ex as we’ll find out, he’s not into it. But before that can get awkward.. it gets awkward in another way as Knives invites Scott to dinner at her parents place. Which is an objectively bad idea even before you get into the fact Scott wants a way out and as Volume 4 will show us her dad is both not happy with the idea of her dating a white guy and willing to use a katana to prevent it so he dodged a bullet there. Scott TRIES weasling out of it, but his “I’m too old for you” thing falsls on deaf ears.. and actually explains why she thinks this is normal: her parents are 9 years apart. of course obviously two consenting adults with a decade between them is a mite bit diffrent than 5 years between a teenager whose taking this way too seriously and a grown man whose taking this not seroiusly at all and dosen’t get how effed up this is. But Knives is too naive to get that, and papers over any possible concerns about her parents not wanting her to date a white guy with i’m in love. Seeing that he has no EASY way out of this, as he shouldn’t, Scott just rips off the band aid and bluntly breaks up with her, saying it’s not going to work out. Knives.. is clealry devistatd. To her this was a serious relationship.. and Scott realized that too late.. and thankfully while he didn’t break up with her in the best way, at all, simply syaing i’ts not going to work out and confirming to her he means it, it’s clear from his face this hurts to do and he knows he’s REALLY hurting her and REALLY shoudlnt’ of dated her to begin with. IT’s why Scott dating a teenager dosen’t make him a morally rephrenisvie monster: because he was genuinely intrested, didn’t use her sexually, and there are tangible consequences for his actions. Knives just dosen’t disappear neatly into the sunset so he can be with ramona. The rest of the series covers her emotoinal recovery from being with Scott, and how she very horribly handles it and that’s why this plotline works at all: she’s not some act one contrivance to be thrown away, sh’es a human being, and more than that a young woman who got hurt REALLY bad and got way too in over her head with someone who just..wasn’t the one fo rher no matter how much she can’t admit that.

We also get one of my faviorite sets of pages as Scott relfects on things and the sheer devistation on Knives face, which credit to a series that even at this early point loves it’s big bold facial expressions.. her’s being more subded just makes it sting MORE.

This bit to me is vital to keeping Scott sympathetic and to his character. We see he really does regret what happened, dosen’t know how to process it and genuinely feels awful. As I said instead of some exgerated face that would still hurt him.. her face is quiet, clearly unable to process this and clealry lost and hurt.. and that hurts more than any fuck your or sobs he was probably expecting. Just her clearly not getting WHY he’s doing this or why he hurt her, and he KNOWS why he just knows telling her the truth would hurt her even more. But.. as he thinks.. his thoughts move to something else.. and the WHY of why he did this.

He did it for Ramona. Wallace was as harsh as he was right: he needed a clean slate to actually give this relationship a shot and the smile comes off less as him being a calous dick whose just happy to move on, I mean he is a little, but more jus tsomeone READY to finally move on. He found the right person, he let the wrong one go if clumsily.. he has a future to look forward to and he can smile about that.

Granted he’s still his usual unteitonally callous self and his way of telling his friends he and knives broke up is to casually say so and say “dont’ worry you’ll meet my new girlfriend soon.” Their reaction.. is my own.

Look just because Scott is a nuanced douchebag dosne’t stop him from being a Douchebag. It just means he isn’t intolerable to watch and you actually care about him growing as a human being is all.

So with that out of the way, it’s date night and Ramona is coming over.. also Scott is considering calling her Ramy which no. I'm genuinely in favor of a pet name that’s just a variant on someone’s name but a bit cute, as it’s just the right level of obnoxious, but no, just no Scott. No. Ramona enters, meets Wallace again and sits down while Scott tries to shoo him out.. because turnabout is fair play bitch. They also see Ramona’s new hair as she dyes it something new for the first time, in this case a very lovely two tone, the purple from last volume but with a darker purple bellow it. I honestly wish she went for multiple colors in her hair again, but likely didn’t since the book was originally in black and white... which still dosent’ make sense as it would’ve been EASIER that way. Regardless Wallace makes himself scarce proving that he’s more than willing to be equal in terms of one of them spending the ngiht elsewhere. What a guy.

Ramona finds out a few things about Scott: That his apartment is VERY small, just one room with a bed, a cabinet, a small kitchen and a bathroom, which despite what scott says I REALLY dont’ count as another room. Just common sense. She also learns that he can COOK. Yeah while you’d expect Scott to just get a wad of “I did the ultimatum thing okay now gimme” money and buy dinner but no.. he made the whole thing himself from his own recipe. And once we cut to them eating on the floor.. turns out yeah he not only can cook but is REALLY good at it. She wishes there was a table which, small as the place is.. fair point. I mean at least get some tv trays. You have chairs. Or at least the easy chair. You can get nice padded folding chairs so you have a second chair guys. I know your poor but come on. Also Scott leanrs bread makes you fat. Good stuff. Also Scott freaks out when , while making out with Ramona in bed later, she mentions his hair’s getting kinda long and could use a cut... which turns out to be a thing for him. He isn’t an ass about it he just panics a bit because he’s partially convinced his last relationship’s nightmarish breakup was because of a bad haircut he got. As we’ll see next week, that’s a no but as someone whose a touch neroutic myself I get blaming a larger issue on something trivial.

So we then get to the next chapter where it’s KIM’S turn to have a dream.. and the only time we see someone else's dreams. Honestly.. I really would’ve liked if it was a recurring device, even have Ramona pop into other people’s Not used ALL the time but I could easily see it being used with Knives to convey her obsession with Scott and her pain or kim again to help move her plots along or Wallace because I want to know what’s going on in his head. It must be a maze of male gentalia and fine liquor the likes of which has never been seen. It’s scotts funeral as Simon killed him and Scott’s corpse wonders if she dreams about this a lot.

So we see her get ready and wake up her roomate Sarah whose a bitch. And as we’ll see in one of the backups, so’s the rest of her roommates. So drifting into work. Hollie is a character I really liked... the past tense will be explained later. And the first scene is probably why as her and Kim banter effortlessly, with Kim suggesting maybe she was a happy kid... only to admit quickly no she wasn’t, she was pretty withdrawn and then pretty angsty over someasshole who will be named Scott. “Your a holy terror kim, and i’m glad your on your side”> It’s a short scene but the kind this series excells at: just realistic, fun little exchanges bursting with character. I also GENUINELY wish we got more of this kind of thing, as only Knives really gets these kind of scenes to herself for the most part. There ARE scenes without Scott, but not enough like this that just give us as look into what his friends lives are like during the moments they aren’t putting up with his dumbassery or watching him engage in mortal combat. It’s why i’ve been hoping a spinoff will happen even though it likely won’t SOON. I’m sure O’Malley will return to this world some day, but between Snotgirl and Wicked World, which will come out when it’s ready but should be good.. he’s just really busy. But i’d love to see more of Kim.. or Wallace or Knives. The latter two are a no brainer: Knives is the tritagonist of the books, and it’d be intresting to see what she’d be like 5 years at the book, at the same age and stage in life as Scott. And with Wallace it’s because we really DON’T see his friend circle, life or what goes on with him. We hear him talk about a new boyfriend, who we don’t meet until near the end of the series, though you can see him in stage 3 of hte game if your curious, we see him with some random friends in volume 4, but we really don’t KNOW what hyjinks and lojinks wallace gets up to. He’s pretty isoalted from the rest of the main cast, something I hope an adaptation could fix as while realistic i’td be curious to see what his relationship with Kim or Steven would be like. Just food for thought.

Point is this was a good scene. But as is typical for Kim’s life just when she has some serenity her ex crashes back in. In this case Scott needs to rent some movies, kim works at a rental store and god teenage me really wanted a clerks style spinoff.. but enough spinoff talk. Scott asks kim to bororw them, of course and explains he’s training for his fight with Lucas.. which Kim reacts to finding out her second best friend is in a series of death matches.

She has understandable questions such as how the hell doe she know that and is he stalking Lucas and just hoping he’s an ex.. which let’s face it would be a very scott move. But nope Wallace told him, likely learning in an interview he dated Ramona or is coming for scott because he knows everything. We also get one of my faviorite exchanges when Kim wonders why Wallace and Scott are roomates.. a valid question he deflects by saying i’ts a long story.

Also yeah, as much as casting Micheal Cera backfired for the movie.. that panel there proves there wasn’t another choice at the time. When you want a loveable, somewhat douchey, but also somewhat innocent and oblivious slacker.. who you gonna call. Also before we move on.. Kim.. how are you this suprised. You were there for the fight with Matthew. And Ramona giving out the exposition on why he’s there.. and you even did that whole weird space channel 5 thing no one ever did agian and to this day I will never understand what O’Malley was going for and only know the refrence by hearing that’s what it was. Point is you shouldn’t be this suprised. Anyways we next cut to Ramona and Stacey, as Ramona enters her workplace, second cup, and they talk and Scott’s spider sense goes off...

I mean it’s just a bad feeling but still.. weird. WE’ll get back to that later. Scott is in the middle of his training.. and I love the mentor side of Wallace and feel it didn’t get used enough as the series went on. As said before he cares about Scott, so he serves as his Shounen Mentor and a great one: he’s stern and makes Scott work, but he also gets his student and what Scott needs to work. I just wish he’d taught Scott some actual combat, but as we see Wallace’s combat skills boil down to yelling useless info from the sidelines.. I mean he can be useful, we’ll see that next week, it’s just he’s not an action guy. But spirtually he’s the guy scott needs to kick his ass into shape. That being said his “training” consists of watching Lucas’ movies, playing tony hawk and when Scott wants to play more Tony Hawk, having Scott do pushups while Wallace plays Tony Hawk. Before we turn... there is an elephant in the room I just gotta shoo out: Lucas.. is easily the worst setup of the 6 exes. Patel SEEMINGLY comes out of nowhere but his letter and email hint SOMETHING is coming up, and his flashy dynamic entry intro is damn cool and is what turns the series on it’s head, from an indie comic about a guy getting it together.. to that but with huge shonen dustups with epic visuals. Todd is introduced masterfully here, and is a presence from the start of volume 3 as a result, Roxie gets a slight tease in the free comic book day issue, and her not attacking for two months not only sets up tension but allowed for a red herring.. im’ not only hiding that the fourth ex is a she because anyone whose seen the movie or played the game knows the fourth ex is a woman. The cat’s out of the bag, no sense hiding it. The Kentangis show up pretty early on and Gideon is hinted at and built up, as this towering, mysterious figure, his relationship with Ramona, who he is, why he set up the league, and just how fucking strong he is is all obscured, with his only four apperances simply teasing the big final showdown and giving him that much more mysitque.

Lucas.. is just sorta intorduced like “Hey I gotta fight this guy”. There’s just.. nothing. Scott’s just gotta fight him because he’s next up and Wallace knows that because plot convience. It’s VERY lackluster given what comes before.. and frankly while I like Lucas, he’s the weakest plot and character wise. HE’s not even really EVIL, just a sellout and is more doing this because he has to I guess, and likely because of stuff we find out in Book 6 but sssssshhhhh. We’ll get more into that when the fight happens but it’s one of the books weakest points. The evil ex.. just feels like an afterthrought again despite there being no reason to. Thankfully this would never happen again as I said, but it dosen’t make this any less frustrating.

So we cut to Sex Bomb-Omb practice, and after that we get more tease for Clash at Demonhead. And Stephen.. is cool with them and entirely happy one of them made it, while Scott is understandably pisssed off about it and not happy one of his best friends is you know, promoting the band of his ex who broke his heart and as we’ll get more into next time, said rising career is what tore them apart. So yeah Stephen’s a dickhead, and I was wrong last time that he got better. He really.. dosen’t. He gets less CREEPY.. but out of the main 6 characters he’s the weakest: he dosen’t have much of an arc, does some very questionable shit in the second half, and his being around means we have to suffer through Julie. I’ll tear into him more on a case by case basis but for once Scott’s not overreacting. While Kim does nothing she also has no idea just HOW bad things were and Scott won’t tell her. Stephen was there the whole fucking time. He just saw Scott’s rebound with a teenager. He knows he was kind of messed up after this. Dosen’t justfiy knives but still he looses the moral high ground he tries to have at times.

So while Scott shops a song for Ramona to her, Knives calls Scott’s place clearly setting up another suprise apperance. Wallace.. figures out what sh’es doing quick and simply gives her a stern “You have to go” And to me it’s not him being a dick.. he’s both trying to save her from seeing Scott with Ramona and fucking her up worse... and is looking out for her. She needs to move on and moving up to stalking Scott’s not going to help that. Scott dosen’t WANT her anymore, and while he handled it bad, Wallace gets she needs to see that. Granted he could’ve you know explained it to her and tried talking, but as i’ve said he’s not a perfect person and he was also on a time table to get her out of there in case Scott you know, showed up with his new girlfriend and made things a billion times worse. And the two are indeed headed to his place to watch one of Lucas’ movies, and part of that weak setup is that Ramona.. just has no connection with him. It was high school. Scott also pretends he dosent’ remember his. You are a lying liar sir stop that. So they watch the film together hanging out, and it’s.. really bad. The good one was rented out. I miss rental stores.. a magical time. I mean i’ts better now, streaming means 80% of movies are avaliable if you have a bunch of services and even if you just have netflix or hulu or hbo max, you still get a pretty decent selection each month. Plus digital rentals are super easy. Do miss redbox though. I mean it’s still there I’m just warry of something that relies so heavily on touching things in a state with a lot of trump morons. You CAN get Covid twice and I don’t wanna. Also we get some dated Dialouge as Scott commenting on Lucas being hot, he is good taste Scott, is given a “good job convincing me your not gay”. He and ramona end up having sex though so .. yay? I dunno. The series has a really weird thing about not getting bisexuals exist and as someone whose bi, and really against bi errasure it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. Though given O’Malley apparently has not only far more queer rep in snotgirl but a bisexual lead, he’s clearly learned so i’m not going to drag him too hard on this. It was the early 2000′s. People were pretty damn stupid about this. Creators have gottten MUCH more important issues much worse.

So the next morning, Scott gets a call from his well meaning but ditzy mom, and reacts like you’d expect. His parents are in Europe to keep them out of the action and what not. Though apparently according to the last book his mom did read volume 3 at least. Or Wallace told her about the relevant bit. You make the call.

So i’ts Ramona’s turn to meet Sex Bomb-Omb. The group hang out and discuss Gordon Downie.

Look I don’t know indie bands. I have no idea who the tragically hip are I just know the name is really hipstery. We also get the recipe for Vegan Shepards Pie. None of them are vegan they just wanted to try it and I.. really want to make this some time. Just to see if it’s any good. But yeah it’s in general a fun casual scene, as Kim reveals she and Scott dated, just to break the tension, and Scott tries out Rammy but quickly backpedals. Just fun slice of life stuff. Oh and Knives is watching them from the window and takes Scott dating someone else as well as you’d expect.

So she gets some hair bleach to do some highlights and calls her friend Tamara over. We met her last volume as she dragged her along to the show, but it’s here we really get to know what she’s like.. i.e. the sane one in the duo, rightfully pointing out Scott’s not that great. Also Knive’s points out ramona’s “fat”, which is thankfully portrayed as petty sniping as while Ramona does have some curves it’s you know.. not remotely a bad thing and the kind of thing a teenage girl would harp on. Still she’s just in STEPS from this happening.

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But yeah.. it’s clear here Knives has some underlying issues to address and really needs therapy not to go after her ex’s current girlfriend with knives. I mean it’s in the name but still. Then again volume 4 has her dad going around with a katana or something like it wanting to murder her daughter’s older ex boyfriend he dosen’t realize is ex so it’s clear her whole FAMILY needs some therapy. But this does round her out and show there’s more to her.. a pretty violent and obessive side sure, but it shows she wasn’t just some one dimensional ego boost for scott but a person. One whose just as flawed as the rest of the cast.. but more sympatheic because they’ve all got about 6 or 7 years on her and at this age that’s a lifetime. And while Scott DID set this off by dating her which was objecitvely a bad idea... the rest of this isn’t remotely on him. He handled things BAD.... but all he wanted was for both of them to move on. Knives.. simply can’t admit Scott is not a nice person, was probably two timing her as Tamara points out, which as we know he 100% was, and is not some perfect guy she can’t replace: like Knives.. he’s just a person with faults and she’s too blind to see that.

So before we can get to the crazy stalker ninja fight, let’s instead get to Scott and Ramona hanging out where we meet Gideon, Ramona’s Cat who i’ll call Cat Gideon, both because I love steven unvierse and because it’s less confusing. This is a pretty slight scene as Ramona admits not a lot happened with Lucas and Scott’s apartment is a hole.. which yeah, yeah it is. Also she DEFINTLY dind’t cheat on him with any cocky pretty boys. Which would come off worse if it wasn’t for the pact Ramona was clearly doing it out of regret and Scott just liked like 50 pages ago about rembering his exes when one of them is his second best friend.. which neither would admit but you know it’s true. Stephen is third where he belongs.

So next morning it’s fight time, and Scott is glad wallace is going with him. It’s awkard going to fights alone. Which leaves me to wonder if before this comic Scott just.. fought random guys letterkenny style. Like they’d call up, schedule it and then he and one or more of his friends would go beat up a guy. It’s just.. hilarious knowing that this kind of thing is common in canda minus the ki attacks , flash effects, wizards, vegan psycics, ninjas, and roboticists. But damn I now want a scott pilgrimized letterkenny now more than ever. You know you do too don’t deny it. I”d love to see the hard right jay fight but iwth a loud “KO!” when he gets his ass knocked out. Also Casa Loma is a very real, very cool Toronto location, as I never realized as a kid, to the point that the lucas fight was filmed there for the movie.

So Scott approaches Lucas a bit star struck and upon finding out scott is.. punches him out as seen in the header image and throws him into a tower. When Scott regains conciousness, Kim and Neil have arrived and Lucas calls a time out. And it’s here we get to, while being the weakest of the 7, why I like Lucas.. he’s actually a pretty nice guy. At WORST he sold out. But the two have a pretty nice conversation over ritz and baby carrots, with it turning out, unsuprisingly Ramona did cheat on him with a cocky pretty boy, and while like Ramona he’s clearly moved on, it still hurts a bit and understandably so. He also warns scott while she might seem nice i’ts an act.

I mean it isn’t ALL an act, but she does have a tedency to put up walls and act pretty badly as we’re slowly finding out.. though given Scott does the exact same it only means.. she’s human. She’s not MUCH higher above him in terms of morality and this is where we get our first peaks into the fact the series isn’t just about Scott’s development but hers. But it’s understandably absent from volumes 1 and 2 since we need to know her first, and this volume is about getting to know her a bit and get a feel for who she is, something I ddin’t really get a grip on as a teen, but do now. We see more of who she is good and bad as the walls go down. She’s more SURFACE LEVEL functional than scott, but beneath it has a lot of the same exact issues. Lucas and Scott continue to GENUINELY bond, as Scott genuinely thinks the guy is talented and Lucas want’s an Oscar this year.. maybe not for the current film which is a romantic comedy with a teen star but hey, stars have done far worse in their Oscar years. I mean at least he’s not making a comedy about himself in a fat suit domestically abusing himself in a wig while he also plays an asian sterotype. He explains he almost didn’t get into the league but felt too important to ramona’s past.. plus he looks cool. Plus they let Patel in despite barely being in a relationship with her and being kind of a tool so they kinda had to let the handsome affiable movie star in. Scott wonders “wait league” and Lucas is understandably frustrated to find out Patel just sent a letter Scott didn’t read.. and at Matthew let’s be clear. I mean.. Gideon has to have known Scott wouldn’t read that since he’s been in his head. We’ll get to that in part 6. Point is they formed a league, hence why their organized enough to come after him like this and Scott understandably glares at Wallace for you know, having him play tony hawk and watch movies yet missing the fucking obvious clue they were all working together and they were only coming at him one at a time by choice.

Lucas offers to just.. take a bribe and SAY Scott beat him, Scott calls him a sellout jokingly and Lucas proves that while not AS bad as the rest of the League, he’s still a dick by telling him to kiss ramona’s sweet ass goodbye pilgrim. Okay either he’s seen her since high school or he’s fondly remembering a high schooler’s ass. Neither one is nice to think about. But Scott gets out of his ass beating by pointing out a ramp, real thing too used for the movie, and asking him to skate down it. Lucas says i’ts impossible, and Scott just whistles. So Lucas tries skating the impossible and dies via velocity. Yes really. Scott collects his change and gets a gift, a mytryil skateboard he.. can’t use because he dosen’t have a proficency for it and bemoans not picking it up in 5th grade. Also he didn’t get his autograph. He does get some coins though so neat. Yeah I mentioend Lucas was the least of the exes and I stand by it: He’s an intresting character, not a GREAT person but clearly a charming and nice enough guy who likely offered the bribe not because he’sd a sell out but because he genuinely liked scott, and is easily the best adjusted of the exes. But obviously a near non existant setup and a really hilarious and unsastifying finish just.. don’t really feel sastsifying. I mean i’t slampshaded, but after all the build up of her having 7 evil exes, the next one is just..filler. Not BAD, but not really anything special and giving Scott a an early pokemon victory, but unlike ash having done nothing to really DESERVE it. Thankfully both adaptations so far VASTLY improved on this. While Lucas is still affiable in the movie he’s also smarmy, if on better terms with Ramona, saying “he seems nice” after the tower throw and throwing in some stunt doubles. His fight goes from one of the least satisfying and weakst of the series, to easily one of the best of the movie. We’ll talk about that more there but obvious Chris Evans version is far superior, keeping the good traits while giving us an intresting fight.. and still keeping the skateboard death because it’s fucking hilarious and the movie improves on THAT too by having scott give flat wows as he slowly dies. The game likewise keeps teh skateboard death, if shortening it, and the skateboard, and while not changing his apperance does make him a hell of a tough boss. Took three tries and some online grinding to take him out. Still a hell of a fight. Point is while I genuinely like Lucas story wise.. this just dosen’t work for me and is pretty damn weak, even if it gives us some godo character insight we could’ve got that, and a fight and still had the finish we did.

That being said.. we DO get a fight instead, likely why the Lucas fight was so truncated. Next chapter and that evening or the next day or whatever, we pan over the real life tornto refrence library. It is a VERY nice touch thatt the comic and it’s adpations use either real places in toronto or reasonable subsittues. While not canadian myself I love the place and hope to visit Tornoto some day when the world isn’t a living nightmare and it’s really nice that like New York for Marvel, Brian Lee O malley really makes the city feel integral to the comic, like it’s own character. But Knives is ominously perched above. At second cup Scott is horrified to find Julie. Seconded. Julie takes the moment to give out to scott about him dating Ramona despite telling him no. Okay...

Yeah as you can probably guess I don’t like Julie. She’s not a good character. The movie did her better, with the bleeping gag and aubrey plaza’s performance, but in the comic.. she’s just the worst. She sucks bad. If she were an ice cream flavor she’d be pralines and dick. While she’s fine on OCCASION, and actually works in the next volume, outside of that she just gets more unplesant, more unlikeable, more bitchy, more unfathomabbly assholish every. damn. volume. I”ll give out about that a bit then too but I have to put up with her for the entire damn comic. Now her being bitchy to Scott is fair to a point: Scott is a mess, and she’s loyal to Envy in the breakup, and Scott’s own friends drag him on a daily basis. The problems are that she’s like that to EVERYONE, even Knives who isn’t about to stab her much as i’d like that. She’s unberable to Stephen whose tolerance for her is unfathomable, though the ending bits of volume 6 show maybe he just has terrble taste. She’s just a throughly unplesant, social climbing bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone. And it sticks out badly against the main cast; Scott is very bad with women and relating to people, but is also nice, charming and most of the damage he does is not intetional. Ramona puts up walls to keep others out but is also a responsible adult and often cuts through Scott, and at times others, internal bullshit. Wallace is an alcholic, but still a very responsible, very loveable guy who clearly cares about scott and supports him finacially and emotionally. Kim is VERY emotionally distant, very misntrhopic.. but also a good person who as we see as the series goes, has an inner light to her and often drags on Scott because she’s been putting up with his shit the longest and WANTS him to be better. Knives is an obessive and violent stalker.. who was also deeply hurt by an older man, dosen’t GET that her realtionship with scott was wrong and uneven, and is clearly not emtoinallyr eady for the deep feelings she’s having. And Stephen.. well he’s a talented guitarist but also enables scott and julie. Especially him enabling Julie.

Point is their all pretty well rounded, llikeable characters with flaws. Julie.. is just an ass. And this scene demonstrates that with flying colors. While Scott does ignore her because he’s too worried about his sister and girlfriend becoming friends, understandably given Stacey knows all his dark secrets, Julie spends two pages giving out and treating scott like some bad guy for persuing Ramona against her orders. And i’m going to break down why.. this dosen’t work.. on any level for her. 1) Ramona is not Julie’s property. She’s a big girl with her own free will. They aren’t even remotely close: Julie met her only barely before Scott, and given the dream thing probably not even that. And you could say Julie is just looking out for her... she dosen’t know Ramona well enough to KNOW if Ramona is still smarting over Gideon. She probably was.. but she readily, once the awkwardness passed, went out with scott and dove right into the relationship. While there’s still some scars as we’ll see.. she CHOOSE to move on and that’s her choice. If she wasn’t ready, she woudl’ve turned him down or broke it off by now realizing it was a mistake. 2) Scott has no reason to listen to her. She hates his ass, somewhat justifably but still, she hates him and has been against him since fucking colllege. She took his exes side in the breakup despite Envy still being partly in the wrong but paints him as some abusive dickhead and not just an insesntive dickhead. To him he’s just some villian she needs to reign in for her cool friend who wants nothing to do with her and grows to justifably hate her over time. Scott and Julie TOLERATE each other. They are not friend,s they do not like each other and never will. They are around each other because of Stephen. That is it. If Kim , Wallace or Stephen had asked, or at least made him wait for kinves. he probablyw ould’ve or at least considered it since while they take the piss out of him, they genuinely care about him and actually have shown they care about something other than themselves! Speaking of which the cou de gras 3) She’s a selifsh bitch: She is NEVER not in any volume seen as out for anyone but herself, and thus scott has no reason to trust her judgement. She berates Stephen, him and anyone who will listen, is only so loyal to envy because she’s famous, and as I said treats EVERYONE like dogshit. And given Scott is still a very flawed guy.. it takes a LOT for him to be so right and he runs out screaming when Julie mentions her.

So back at the library, Ramona brought Stacey along because the place is a maze. Scott calls Stephen and calls julie evil.. which given the last two paragrahs. Yeah. She is. She really is. But that goes nowhere as he dosen’t have Stacey’s number. He also thinks Julie was responsible for this which while she’s very much not.. would it REALLY be that suprising that if Julie were there she would’ve introdcued the two and set up their little hangout just to piss scott off? God I’m so sick of talking about her.

So the two after dropping off Ramona’s package decide to hang out a bit.. not long as Ramona’s got shit to do, but hey I agree with her logic i’m curious about this palce too. But before they can go up an elevator Ramona spots incoming.. and thus we get the fight of the volume. Though given the next one has two climatctic fights and one or two before that, they easily could’ve had both.. this is still the highlight of the volume. So Ramona snaps off a railing and before Stacey can give out about that she finds out WHY as Knives attacks with a pair of sais. And O’Malley did his homework as while you’d THINK it was just another dumb white person mistake.. O’Malley is asian, thoughw ether he’s candaian korean or canadian chineses, as his last name is korean but he has a large chinese cast in this very comic that might come from experince, I do not know and if you do know tell me. I’d like to refer to him properly as I don’t LIKE lumping all asian cultures into one basket. But not only that he did his home work, as Sai’s, while popularized in Okinawa Japan, were also used in other countries. I bring this up since I assumed it was just a simple mistake even knowing Brian was mixed-race, and was plesantly suprised to fine that know, I was the moron. And i’m fine with admitting that.

So we get a damn good fight.. and Knives figures out Scott WAS cheating on her. Granted she assumes so due to seeing Ramona at the refrence Library, before he actually cheated and clearly blames Ramona for it, but still, it fucking hurts. Plus while her attacking Ramona, who initally assumes she’s gideon’s doing, which.. yeah sending a teenage assasian just to mess with her head does sound like him. So while Stacey does complain “ramona you can’t just tear out art objects” to which I say... yeah high, Stacey? NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW SCOTT’S EX IS TRYING TO KILL HER. SHE’S DEFENDING HERSELF. So we get one hell of a fight. It not only shows off that Ramona is one hell of a fighter herself, as is knives, but just how immature knives is, resorting to constnat fat jokes and taunts showing just how immature she is.. and unlike volume one where it was endearing and we just saw how sweet she was here it just comes off as mean, bitter, and uncomfortable. But again part of the series biggest charm is the main cast are all well fleshed out and throughly human. She’s doint this because she dosen’t know better and was raised in a house where, again as volume 4 will bear out, finding out her dad is going after scott with a samurai sword just warrants a “dad’s are so weird aren’t they” my point is her frame of refrence is a mite skewed. Plus this is a world where everyone but Stacey just calmly accepts big shonen fights break out, so it’s not that unsuaul to want to settle things with a fight and while i’ve joked about her killing Ramona we genuinely don’t know that was the goal> Could’ve been, easily given murder is peachy in this setting and just leads to a respawn according to O’Malley and would’ve just sent ramona back to her apartment. But I genuinely don’t think she has it in her to do it and while she could’ve planend to, she never would’ve. Plus Ramona easily leads the fight as while Knives uses hit and run tactics and tries make her follow.. Ramona is more annoyed than anything as she has shit to do. Knives only gets one hit in and while i’ts a pretty nasty scratch on the cheek, if thankfully not scarring.. Ramona shrugs it off when she brags about it and easily takes knives down with a potted tree. Knives runs and while she tells herself it’s to fight another day.. its really because her opponent was WAY stronger and way more ready for something like this than she probably planned on. She did defintely want a fight, she just wasn’t prepared to be outmatched so handily. It’s also a nice parallel to last book’s fight: Like with Scott and Matthew, while the fight SEEMS pretty even, in reality our hero/heroine was alwasy teh one in control and easily took care of the less experinced and less ready upstart, who likely wasn’t expecting a fair fight much less to loose.

So Ramona and Stacey wisely get out while Stacey explains Knives is indeed Scott’s ex, though is unaware of the cheating thing. Speaking of Scott he’s playing sonic and knuckles, and in fact kept wallace on the line before just to get advice because of course he did hence why stacey didn’t get through to him, but gets a call... from Envy.

This is easily the second best sequence in the boook, which was lovingly and wonderfully adapted to film and as a result I cannot read it without hearing Brie Larson’s voice for Envy , a nice mixture of seduction and condescension. It’s CLEARLY painful fo rhim, and we do get some things established as Envy toys with him, that it’s been about a year and that she left him for a cocky pretty boy, familiar.. and while Scott claims to not know what he looks like.. given Todd is clearly on her band cover... it’s not exactly hard to put two and two together. So after some awkard catchup and Scott telling her about ramona against his will, we get to the reason she’s here with Scott understanndbly being supscious and calling her a user.. which while Envy denys.. she ends up admitting to. She’s coming to town as estalbished and her opening act backed out, and since Scott has a band, and one that 2/3 of which she knows, she wants them to open for her. Scott naturally isn’t too intrested and thinks it’s just pity. The sequence. is masterful, using a watchmen style 9 by 9 panel layout and intercutting scott’s pained reactions and clear lack of comfort with flashes of envy on her side.. never showing her proper, but showing his memories or what he’s seen in magazines. It’s really striking and really sells the sheer discomfort Scott’s going through. So soon after Wallace gets home.. and finds Scott, drained and miserable on the floor, not even responsive. And this really is the scene that shows me that Wallace cares for the guy and cements that asshole he may be, he loves his buddy. He goes through possible scenarios that fit scott: Food poisoning, finding out Wallace saved over his final fantasy save (though he rules it out as last time that happened he was crying), that ramona dumped him.. before Scott let’s out a pathetic and miserable “Ennnnnvvv”. Wallace , who was at ground zero for that relationship as we’ll find out, realizes this and lets out a little shit, unsure how to help and pissed off at that bitch for once again hurting him like this. As I said it shows how Wallace knows scott in and out and loves him dearly.. and how he knwos about this paticuarly heartbreak better than anyone but Scott and Envy themselves. IT’s just a really tearjerking scene, as we get a sense of WHY scott spiraled into an ego boost of a relationship: His last one REALLY tore him in half, and he’s still not completely healed from the emtional bisection.

So Scott gets more bad news next chapter as Stacey tells him about the fight and he’s worried he’s going to loose ramona on top of this. I mean he desrves it.. .but it’s clear she’s the best thing to happen to him after a really rough year of denial and poor decisionss and loosing her will likely only make him WORSE. He also breaks the bad news, to him at least to the band about the gig. Stephen, being kind of a dick who while understandbly excited about a big gig fails to see his friend REALLY isn’t happy about this nor remembers you know, that the person offering this tore his heart out indiana jones style and while they should take the gig despite the risks, it’s too big an opportunity not to, he should be fucking senstive about this. Kim however... has a suprising and heartbreaking reactoin to this. Which is spread over a few panels but i’m gonna string into one image for convince sake.

Just.. DAMN. I honeslty missed this both as a teenager and as an adult when I read through the books last time but holy shit is this a heartbreaking little moment, even more with the development she gets in later books. Keep in mind, over two books so far, Kim.. really hasn’t shown a lot of emtion. The most upset she’s gotten was getting a bit pissed about another a girl drummer. The only other time we’ve seen her sad was at 17 when Scott left. Her only emotions that we could see were angry and surly. But here? She’s genuinely upset and we see her walls break down for the very first time.. and it’s with the clear indication she NEVER really got over Scott. She never got proper closure and while she hasn’t let it so.. it’s been VERY clear she's been grossly uncomfortable with how he just likes to brush off their history, something that very clearly still bothers her and understandably so: 6 years , while a lot of time, still really isn’t long enough to just .. FORGET your first boyfriend , how he made you feel or the fact he took your virginity and you took his. Stuff like that sticks with you.. I’m ony assuming on the virginity thing but my point remains: To Scott it’s SEEMINGLY nothing, when really he’s probably just trying to brush it off because he dosen’t like dealing with things and given how Kim is wrongly assumed she can’t feel pain. I mean to anyone else i’d be a fair assumption and even i’m not convinced if she touched a hot stove she’d burn, but that’s phsysical this is emotional. DIffrent playing fields. Point is Scott’s kind of a dick and not having ANY closure for anything, Kim is still smarting from him leaving as much as Scott is smarting from Envy dumping him. And it somehow gets MORE painful.... which should’ve been the tagline for Bojack Horseman now I think about it but yeah: her line is what cuts me up the most “I saw her on the cover of Now. She’s pretty”. It’s a little line, it’s easy to see why I missed it .. but the subtext really stings. It’s that despite being VERY pretty, I had a crush on her as a kid and I still do now.. Kim just can’t help but compare herself to someone whose now a glamrous rock star. Their equally attractive but all Kim can see is ANOTHER person who Scott cared about more than her. Which seems petty but again he just.. abnadoned her. His moving wasn’t his choice but his not telling her as was framed earlier sure as hell was. And then just.. look at the next people he dates: A glamorous rock star (She wasn’t at the time but that’s for next week), a much younger girl who can’t possible challenge him, and an ultra cool american. To her.. it must feel like he just looks right through her to every other person intersted in him and never even consdered her as a person anymore. I mean.. jesus christ that hurts.. and makes me hate Stephen more since you know he dosen’t notice any of this.. though at least unlike with Scott it’s a bit more understandable because Kim’s so unflappable and he’s already ignoring very obvious and transparent emotional pain why shouldn’t this be any diffrent. So yeah no one’s happy about this, and that ends up including Stephen as he’s so insecure about his band’s talent he’s pretty sure they suck when their probably at least adaquate.

So while Scott dosen’t say anything, it’s clear he’s at least consdiering the offer as when we next see him he and ramona are heading to Envy’s show. And honestly it’s just a really sweet scene as Ramona asks about envy and the two banter and hold hands. A really nice palletee clensar since hte last few pages were like I was the one lucas socked in the gut. Also she assures him she dosen’t hate him, and asks about how the breakup happened, turning down any offers to hear the good times. It was new years eve one year ago, and he mentions it was over her leaving to meet some guy named Todd.. and Ramona finds the story familiar but brushes off Scott wondering if her todd and Envy’s todd wer ethe same guy as a douchey joke. When prying about what happened otherwise, Scott admits it was all a blur.. Ramona isn’t ahppy with the answer.. but it’s nto like it’s that unresonable: he was in deep with Envy, and the breakup was damn bad to the point it took a year for him to recover and end up in the relationship he is now and the one before this was clearly a cry for help. It also helps reinfroce just how much Wallace was there for him and probably WHY Wallace hates Envy so much. They probably live together simply because Scott needed a place after college, was in zero condition to get a job or do anything given his zombie like state.. and Wallace just had him move into his bed, platonically and into his place. It’s probably why while Wallace will complain ocasoinally he isn’t that on scott to find a job. He dosen’t need a paying roomate, they do fine just on his sallary and he has a steady, secure job in some sort of calling office, probably working in medical stuff like my mom. He needs his friend to be safe and happy, then he can get on his ass about being functional, as he is in present day. If nothing else this volume made me realize just how good a person Wallace is. The one thing he CAN remember, to Ramona’s disbelif is a restraunt opening up, the job story he hinted at last volume: basically it was a fancy tex mex place called, and this is one of the best restraunt naems in the history of fiction brace yourself: The Gilded Palace of Flying Burritos. Naturally, as would I as I love tex mex and that name, Scott loved the place, ate there most of the week and like me with some places I liked waited impatietly to get a job. He did and they were even super generous as the food was FREE. Which is a euphoric feeling I relate to, though I also liked any discounts I got. seriously when I worked at Bagel and Bagel a good chunk of my paycheck was eating there for dirt cheap every shift. I miss that place so much. Like even after I left there I still like a good bagel sandwitch. And it wasn’t covid or anything it was just low staffed and slowly coming apart due to a lack of a solid manager after Crystal, the manager who hired me, transfered to a store closer to her home, which I do not blame her for.

Point is I get it even if Ramona thinks this is all made up. Anyways at Lee’s Place, based on the real life Leo’s place, everyone’s gussied up: Steven got an awful haircut and Kim...

But no time to dwell on how great kim’s..everything is.. who DID Neil bring to the concert?

While Kim is VERY much enjoying this, everyone else is a bit freaked with Ramona getting assurance her and Scott dated breifly, with Kim quipping her and neil will probably date even breiflyer, and Stephen.. freaking out, wondering if she seduced him, and asking if they should take him out back and kick his ass..

Just..... that’s a lot of douche to unpack and this review has been VERY long and suprisingly hard already.. but fuck it, we don’t have much left to go let’s do this. Okay one did she seduce him.. I mean I GUESS, but really let’s be clear here: Neil is a horny, lonely, monosolobic 19 year old who lives with his sister’s college friend and whose life revovles around said guys band. Knives is adorable. She likely barely had to flirt with him to get him to say yes .As someone who was a lonely 19 year old doofus, I guarantee no matter the red flags I probably woudl’ve said yes provided she was 18 instead of 17, despite the abudant red flags such as neil vaugely looking like scott, neil being the one single man within scott’s circle to get her way back in, as Knives hasn’t realized she’s bi yet or given how much she looked up to Kim, she probably WOULD’VE gone for it. As would any sane person, which neither knives nor I entirley are. So she didnt’ so much seduce him as offer him a girlfriend he didn’t have and him being too intrested in having a sweet, caring girl on his arm to see the giant army of adrestian soldiers needed to carry all the red flags this presents.

And as for “do we need to kick his ass. “ Stephen.. did you kick SCOTT’S ass? No, you fucking abetted him and only stepped in for the good girl thing. You did NOTHING to stop his relationship with knives or tell him he was screwing up or look out for that girl’s well being. This will bite him in the ass even harder in volume 5, but even now it just makes him look REALLY fucking bad that, even if he probably dosen’t mean it, that’s at all on the table. Also.. Neil, unlike scott is doing slightly less wrong. While he is 20 to her 17, three years.. it’s HALF of what Scott and her’s age diffrence is, and far more equal in power structure. It’s still not.. GREAT, but my point is you did NOTHING when Scott did this, for far flimiser and less forgiavble reasons.. but when NEIL, whose been nothing but weirdly loyal to you dates her, you want to kick someone’s ass. I mean yes he’s being stupid: in a clear role reversal of the Scott and Knives situation, it’s obvious just from her expression that KNVIES is the one in control here, and the one using someone to ease her own pain. Granted it’s wrong, if not as wrong as Scott should techincally know better and Knives very clearly dosen’t, as well as get into a show of her faviorite band. Is what she’s doing wrong.. yeah... while she can’t see it again it’s what Scott did just not QUITE as fucked up due to not being AS embalanced. Should neil probably be dating her after scott did ? No. But should you be threatning him and not scott for you know, setting all this in motion? No. Jesus christ you suck Steven.

Thankfully while Scott presumibly calms Stephen down, Kim spots Hollie and her roomate Joseph, who will be suprisingly important. He’s very gay, very quite, very bearded and is only hear because the bass player is hot and when prodded on it....

Well said. Also I read that with John Heder’s voice fo rsome reason.. don’t know why, his career ended as quickly as it began because he REALLY did not pick his films well. He saw that he was going to be in a film with David Spade and Rob Schinder and didn’t fire his agent for suggesting it. Meanwhile Scott and Ramona run into Sandra and Monique, Scott’s old classmates who just sorta.. show up every so oftne, often backing up Julie because every Alpha Bitch needs a posse. As Boscha has proven once you loose your posse you loose your bitchy powers. They also ask if Scott and Ramona are an item which leads to a fantagious visual gag.

Also Stephen awkardly talks to the new couple, about how much Knives loves the band, and because why start reading the room now just sorta.. CASUALLY slips in the fact he knows her is because she and scott dated.

Granted Knives action this book really EARNED her that curveball.. but still, it’s transparently clear she’s both not over Scott and Neil’s a placebo, and that she loves the band... how the fuck did you get through college, much less get two loyalish friends Steve.

Kim tries to hide when she runs into Sarah whose with.. someon O Malley does not know, literally captioning it “I don’t know htis girl”. Fucking love that gag even if SOMEHOW kim is the roomate they all hate. Despite hte fact as the side story will bare out, her roommates are all pretty obnoxious, so i’ts probably because she’s the only sane person in that group and their VERY lucky kim just dind’t set the place on fire on her way out and let god do what he should’ve a long time ago. Also we meet Lynette, the band’s drummer who smokes “She must be evil” “Still hot though”... both accurate. Also Luke wilson is there.. no really. Just holy shit that’s awesome. Okay so with all of that out of the way, it’s time for the show. So after a full volume’s build up , and a really cool build up in the page before we finally properly meet clash at the demonhead, and miss envy adams.

Heck of a reveal and not the only one as ramona realized what the audience probably already guessed....

Dun dun dun! And since I don’t like leaving a cliffhanger dangling lest I have to... we’ll be getting to this next week.. what you thought i’d say right now or tommorow? This was a lot. But no i’m not leaving you too long. Next week, Evil Ex Crossover! Ramona and Wallace become BFF’s! We learn what the deal with Scott and Envy is! Scott faces the Ken to his Ryu! And Wallace gets a boyfriend. All this and more next week. for now...

Final Thoughts: This one.. was a VERY rough one to review and it ties back to this volume’s biggest problem: it is not paced very well. Like the series as a whole it has a pretty easy going, slice of life pace. The only ones without this kind of easy pacing are 3 and 6, and even 3 has some slice of life bits, their just both more focused due to the events going on. This one... well....

Pretty much. While this one has very important stuff going on, Scott and ramona getting closer, ramona getting more fleshed out, Wallace showing how deep his character is, Kim also getting fleshed out quite a bit, Knives showing off her crazy side, setting up the next volume, the second ex fight.. it’s all just kinda.. jumbled together. It’s not really until the knives fight onward the book takes on some really solid pacing and really gets going.It’s not a BAD book: ther’es some REALLY good character stuff as I dug into.. but the pacing is just really loose and without the Evil Ex fight as an anchor and with ramona and scott just sorta.. getting to know one another, in both biblical and non biblical senses, it dosen’t have either of the series main narrative thrusts. Even the knvies subplot really amoutns to nothing for now, as Ramona dosen’t find out Scott’s a cheater, and only distrusts knives now. That’s about it. It does improve on book one in characterization, with eveyrone being MUCH cleearer in terms of who they are and settling into their iconic selves nicely. Wallace’s more selfless and protective side pops up, Ramona starts to show mroe of her personality good and bad, Scott’s better traits are mixed a bit mor eeven with the douche ones, Knive’s far more unstable and violet stalker side emerges, and Stephen.. well fuck him, point is things are coming together.. but O’Malley still isn’t quite at peak power yet. Not bad and still worth a read like last time, just a bit uneeven is all. That being said... if you want O’Malley at his peak.. well then come back next week. Until then i’ll be doing my usual buisness of reviewing birds, refrencing simpsons and letterkenny, and putting my eyes back in after kim’s look up there. For now the sun’s setting and i’m out of here.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #ramona flowers #kim pine #stephen stiles #wallace wells #envy adams #lucas lee #oni press #Brian Lee O'malley #knives chau #neil nordgraf

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having-a-hyperfixate · 3 years

Text

The Final Day’‘

This is absolutely going to be long and rambley af so I’mma just put a cut here. This is just one massive post for the entire rest of the game.

Rindo is back in the RG somehow. Which makes less than no sense. What was that crazy beam. Shibuya is GONE there isn’t an RG to send him back to, even if someone did want to send him back?

That beam reminded me of the Jesus beams not gonna lie.

But… Fret. Presumably Nagi and Beat too. They’re. Gone. Poor Rindo… That’s the worst kind of gaslighting. Reality itself is gaslighting this poor kid. ‘Your best friend in the world is gone, so gone that no one remembers him. You don’t even get to mourn properly because there is no one TO mourn.’ I am also not okay.

I assume this random talking to us at Hachiko is the dude I saw a brief glimpse of in a screenshot from the final trailer. Hazuki Mikagi, okay. Everything about this is supremely weird.

Leading this weirdo around and he asked how we feel about emotions? Um, what?

Was he responsible for that beam of light?

This whole thing is extremely unsettling, I don’t think I like it. The music is all… serene, this guy keeps asking existential questions, who even comes up to some kid clearly having a bad day and demands a tour of the city.

He knows Rindo’s name even though we never told him. Not sure if that was a slip or an intentional nudge that Something is going on but there we go.

‘I should take this chance to apologize for Kubo. He’s a real piece of work.’ WHAT. YOU SEND HIM TO SHINJUKU?!?! IS THIS KID GOD!? WHAT!??!

‘Exorcised’. Like a demon. Which is a psychic rank you can get in the first game, and probably this game, ergo, a thing that exists in this universe.

Okay. So this Hazuki guy is Something Else. I dunno if he’s an Angel or higher or WHAT. He’s something. And he “exorcised” what Fuckwad had Fallen to when he decided not to stop at Shinjuku and continue on to Shibuya. But he only did this after Rindo faught so hard to stop it. And then he gave Rindo what he thought Rindo wanted. And now he’s here trying to understand why Rindo is miserable. Which to us, as humans, is obvious: the people he loved, the connections and family he had made through the game are all gone and worse, no one remembers they ever existed.

And now he’s being offered the chance to try again. This feels like a double edged sword. And I don’t care.

Okay I actually kind of appreciate the thing Hazuki is pulling here. He knows what it is that Rindo wants, I’m pretty sure he’s listening to his thoughts, actually, and in order to make Rindo own up to it he’s arguing the ‘no’ position. Giving Rindo someone to argue against so he can convince himself.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN AT UDAGAWA.

Bruh some of these clips were in the announcement trailer.

(I can’t wait to read the secret reports. That’s gonna be a wild ride.)

Oooooh that’s what ‘exorcised’ means. That is hardcore. He definitely deserved it but that is uh. Slightly inconvenient.

Can we actually contact Rhyme this time PLEASE. Oooh Rindo worked out Kaie is waiting for Rhyme. :O I’M FINALLY GONNA GET MY MASSIVE COUNTER OFFENSIVE FUCK YES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M PUMPED LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!

Who’s gonna protect them. Beat. Really. Just give them the damn pins at this point. They both know their ways around a fight and Kaie might need the backup. If we lose, we’re all toast regardless, and if we win everyone gets put back where they belong.

AAAAAAAAAAAH SHE’S HERE!!! RHYME!!!! Aw… She can’t see Neku and Shoka cuz they’re actually dead. That’s really depressing. Makes sense but like. Oof. Especially for Neku.

I love that Rhyme still has a saying for everything.

This timeline is going to be a mess by the time I get everything positioned correctly lmao

Beat’s ‘How do you know about my sister?! Right, future.’ is never going to NOT be funny. It’s very refreshing to have a time travel plot where people just listen when he tells them shit needs to happen.

Is it acutaly Shiki time ohh my god. I might cry. Please tell me she has a face now. If her face is still illegal I will actually scream.

I’m offended. We didn’t get to go see Shiki. The betrayal. OH but now we might be? Stop playing with me, game. GIVE. ME. SHIKI.

Rindo was freaking out that we weren’t gonna be able to get rid of all the Noise around the café and I definitely threw my hands up and yelled when I saw the word ‘zeptogram’. And I read it before he said it, cuz I read v. fast. Nice to see you again, idiot. Please don’t go berserk again.

I am. Very impressed that Minamimoto managed to work out where the Dissonance Noise are coming from, down to the exact energy source that creates them. He nailed it. Well done sir.

I think… he’s proposing we awaken the city and use the energy generated by the thoughts and emotions of the living people to neutralize some of the Dissonance Noise that are waiting in the pin. Erode some of its power.

“How about this: I’ll talk, you type.” Lmao.

I got denied Shiki again. Part of me is annoyed. The other part of me is like ‘are they saving her entrance for when she can see Neku again properly because I can live with that’.

OH the Hishima cutscene is voiced now OKAY. Guess that means this is the one. Rhyme is voiced too. This is gonna be it.

And she speaks Minamioto. Coo.

Huh. Neku’s power is to sync with people. Which he learned to do in the first game. From Mr H, with the harmonizer pin. (Twister is playing and I have Emotions help) And now he’s gonna do it on an absolutely MASSIVE scale. This is insane. I am 1,000% here for it. Sync, Dive, Remind. And if I had to guess, we’re doing this atop 104.

Alright Shiba. ‘Mere. Tsugumi’s eyes aren’t all freaky anymore yay. Oh snap. He’s gonna unleash the Plague Noise against the Dissonance ones. Nice. Turnabout is fair play. I’m kinda sad Fuckwad isn’t here to witness that.

Alright. Change. Our. Fate.

SHIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave myself a headache ow.

“07734.” “Ew. Hey! Don’t just spout off numbers and walk away, you jerk!” That was amazing.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO. NO WAY. I DIDN’T THINK THERE WAS ANY WAY. OH. MY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This is the first time Neku’s seen him since Joshua failed to stop Coco from killing him. I’m. A puddle. Help. Neku looked so happy. My cat is slightly concerned haha.

Neku still holds his hands like he’s got the headphones. The same pose as in the first game when you scan. This gives me all the feels.

“They’re just mindless thoughts” Okay so I’m mentally exhausted at this point and I processed that as ‘thots’ and it was hilarious. BEGONE THOTS.

Okay this thing right here? This is a final boss. And it is cool as fuck. Too bad it’s trying to END ME. So cool. SO. COOL. Here comes phase 2 lol. I died and had to redo it. FML.

That. Was awesome. A worthy successor to the epic final strike of the first game. 999% eh?

I continue to not like Shinjuku rules. Once you’re a Reaper, leaving means you get erased once the game ends? Disrespectfully, fuck that. Oh don’t you dare, Shoka. Don’t. You. Dare.

Oh, Joshua is here. PLEASE. Lmao Shoka’s reaction. I’m sure he appreciates that, the drama queen.

*facepalms* Joshua strikes again. I’ve missed you, you little shit. You are terrible, but I missed you. Rindo, I’m pretty sure she’s fine. I think captain helpful over here reincarnated her for you. Since you saved him and his city. I guess I’ll see though.

Uzuki and Kariya continue to be adorable. I love them. And yeah, good luck calling in that debt from Minamimoto, Coco. Gooooood luck.

I’m having a lot of Joshua centered emotions right now there is too much Joshua all at once help. “I should have known I could trust you.” You are killing me dude. You really, really should have. I’m going to turn that line over in my head for way too long, I just know it, but let’s try to get through this before my brain turns off completely. “Let’s not keep her waiting.” OKAY THANKS I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN.

What Hazuki was saying about ‘purifying’ as opposed to ‘destroying’ Shinjuku makes me think that restarting it in some form was always part of the plan, so hopefully they’ll have luck with that. It’s still profoundly fucked up that any of that happened, and even more so that it was sanctioned. I’m. Going to be hung up on that for a while once it sinks in.

This poor idiot hitting on Rhyme is about to get got oh no XD

Shiki is breaking my heart. Aaaaaaaah!!! Reunioooooon.

Ooof it’s been a month since Rindo saw Shoka. Big oof. Joshuaaaaaa.

And then they almost got hit by a car lmao. OMG HE MISSED HER FRIEND REQUESTS AHAHAHAHAH YOU GOOBER. Neku really should have warned them that Joshua is Like That lol. Even when he’s being helpful it’s in the must backhanded way possible.

I would very much like to know why on earth Shinjuku needed to be obliterated though. Like. Does that… Happen often? Maybe the secret reports say.

Speaking of, time to get those, along with the rest of the trophies.

!!!! The title screen updated, NICE. Can’t let anyone who hasn’t beaten it see that but NICE.

There’s another Another Day. Oh boy. I am not ready for that madness yet.

Random thought as I was moving this from word, where I typed it: I’m really, really fucking glad they didn’t decide to deal with Mr H the way they dealt with sleezy mcfuckwad. That would have been… I don’t have a word.

#let's liveblog: neo twewy #w3d7''#neo twewy spoilers

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vivithefolle · 4 years

Text

“Hermione, you may be good at feelings and stuff...”

I was going to post this but first I wanted to check if the title quote was accurate. As a result, I was redirected to this article on Google. I decided to postpone my fact-checking and publish this now because we need to demolish the utterly bullshit notion that “Hermione Granger is awesome at feelings”. Find the original answer on Quora here.

Hermione does understand human feelings - she’s not a robot, she’s not completely removed from human beings. Hermione can understand that someone is sad, or angry, or upset.

But too many people overestimate how good she is at feelings.

Hermione reads as that person who’s just read a psychology book and is now trying to psychoanalyse everyone around them because They Have The Knowledge Now:

‘Look,' said Hermione patiently, ‘it’s always you who gets all the attention, you know it is. I know it’s not your fault,' she added quickly, seeing Harry open his mouth furiously, ‘I know you don’t ask for it ... but – well – you know, Ron’s got all those brothers to compete against at home, and you’re his best friend, and you’re really famous – he’s always shunted to one side whenever people see you, and he puts up with it, and he never mentions it, but I suppose this is just one time too many ...'

That famous argument Hermione unknowingly prolongs!

There’s something we have to remember about this: we, as readers, could witness Ron and Harry’s argument firsthand.

We, as readers, are limited to Harry’s POV, but that POV also allows us to know a fair few things about Harry and how he sees the world.

“Listen,” said Harry, “I didn’t put my name in the goblet. Someone else must’ve done it.” Ron raised his eyebrows. “What would they do that for?” “I dunno,” said Harry. He felt it would sound very melodramatic to say, “To kill me.” Ron’s eyebrows rose so high that they were in danger of disappearing into his hair. “It’s okay, you know, you can tell me the truth,” he said.

Here, we’re the only ones privy to a specific thought Harry is having -

He felt it would sound very melodramatic to say, “To kill me.”

Which allows us to go “damn it Harry, there’s been no less than four attempts on your life already, Ron being privy to no less than three of them, what makes it melodramatic this time and this time only?”

Then we read this:

Ron’s eyebrows rose so high that they were in danger of disappearing into his hair. “It’s okay, you know, you can tell me the truth,” he said.

And we’re like “god damnit Ron, he’s telling you the truth!! Why won’t you believe him when the past three years you’ve basically accepted anything Harry told you as being the truth??” (granted it is good that Ron thinks for himself, being an independant human being and all, but boy did he pick a terrible time for it)

And so when this happens:

“Yeah, okay,” said Ron, in exactly the same skeptical tone as Cedric. “Only you said this morning you’d have done it last night, and no one would’ve seen you… I’m not stupid you know.” “You’re giving a good impression of it,” Harry snapped. “Yeah?” said Ron, and there was no trace of grin, forced or otherwise on his face now.

We’re left saying “Noooooooo! This could all have been avoided had Harry and Ron partaken in a mutual agreement to properly communicate their feelings!!”

As readers, we witnessed the fight firsthand. We were in Harry’s head. But we were not in Ron’s.

We have Harry’s feelings on the matter; we don’t have Ron’s. But if we carefully read Ron’s lines, we can get an idea.

“Well… no one else got across the Age Line,” said Ron. “Not even Fred and George. What did you use --- the Invisibility Cloak?” “The Invisibility Cloak wouldn’t have got me over that line,” said Harry slowly. “Oh right,” said Ron. “I thought you might’ve told me if it was the cloak… because it would’ve covered both of us, wouldn’t it? But you found another way, did you?”

So, Ron is immediately working off the assumption that Harry did get past the Age Line. That he did manage to trick the Goblet into accepting his name.

Again, as readers, we know that this isn’t the case, since Mad-Eye Fakey explained to us that the Goblet may have been Confunded… But we’re readers. We accompany Harry and see everything he goes through. We know the Goblet was Confunded, something Albus Dumbledore hadn’t thought of or even saw coming. How can we expect Ron, a fourteen-years old boy with much less experience and knowledge than a man more than a century old, to deduce that the Goblet was Confunded?

So, Ron is working off his assumptions, and since he only knows the Goblet as “an impartial judge that is made of magic and is always correct”, he can only assume that Harry found a way to get his name in it.

And, interesting thing, Harry doesn’t deny it.

“The Invisibility Cloak wouldn’t have got me over that line,” said Harry slowly.

There’s nothing about “I didn’t put my name in the Goblet” here. Harry just tells Ron that the Invisibility Cloak couldn’t have been used. But he doesn’t deny Ron’s accusation.

Therefore Ron’s belief that Harry did put his name in the Goblet is quickly reinforced. Harry didn’t deny anything.

And here we have the reason why Ron is angry:

“I thought you might’ve told me if it was the cloak… because it would’ve covered both of us, wouldn’t it? But you found another way, did you?”

Ron thinks that Harry went behind his back.

To us readers, who have followed Harry all this time, it’s a ridiculous notion. But Ron isn’t the reader, following Harry’s every step. To us readers, Ron is being unreasonable, but inside the story, Ron is working off the only things he has. And as Sherlock Holmes once said, "When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

And yes, we as readers think it would be impossible for Harry to betray Ron… Just like we once thought that Scabbers was a normal rat until we read the third book, just like we thought the Heir of Slytherin must have been a Slytherin until it turned out to be a Slytherin and his Gryffindor puppet, just like we thought that Snape was trying to kill Harry when it was really Quirrel.

You see? You see how it works? Ron isn’t privy to what we know. Ron can’t come to our conclusions because Ron didn’t know. He couldn’t know.

… Goddamnit I keep getting sidetracked -

So anyway!! Ron couldn’t know because Ron isn’t the reader blah blah blah the same thing works for Hermione also!!

Hermione wasn’t privy to Ron and Harry’s argument, the way we readers were!

Hermione was left to work off, you know it, assumptions!

‘Look,' said Hermione patiently, ‘it’s always you who gets all the attention, you know it is. I know it’s not your fault,' she added quickly, seeing Harry open his mouth furiously, ‘I know you don’t ask for it... but – well – you know, Ron’s got all those brothers to compete against at home, and you’re his best friend, and you’re really famous – he’s always shunted to one side whenever people see you, and he puts up with it, and he never mentions it, but I suppose this is just one time too many...'

The bolded parts, I think, are things Ron himself confided in Hermione.

Hermione is an only child, she wouldn’t realize that there is such a thing as “competition between brothers”. She may have one day asked Ron why he was so difficult with Percy, and Ron told her about how he dislikes Percy’s attitude and how it makes him feel so much more pressured to live up to his brothers, etc.

Or they could have talked together about Harry like they’re wont to do, and as Hermione confides her jealousy when it comes to Harry’s ease in Defense Against The Dark Arts, Ron confides in how he wishes he could be popular and cool, the way Harry is.

Hermione didn’t mean to prolong Harry and Ron’s argument; she just worked off her assumptions, and just like Ron when he’s working off his own assumptions, got it wrong.

Then, another instance of Hermione-the-aspiring-psychologist happens in Order of the Phoenix:

“Don't you understand how Cho's feeling at the moment?" she asked. "No," said Ron and Harry together. Hermione sighed and laid down her quill. "Well, obviously, she's feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying. Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly." A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode.”

Just look at that! Am I reading Harry Potter or Psychology Today?

Well, obviously, she's feeling very sad, because of Cedric dying.

Yeah, I think Harry and Ron can figure that one for themselves, thanks.

Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best.

This kind of echoes Hermione’s situation with Viktor and Ron. Swap the names and you can see that Hermione wouldn’t have to think too much to imagine how Cho would feel.

Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all

I suspect that Hermione might feel guilty for her kiss with Viktor, not because she feels it’s an insult to Ron - he hadn’t really gone out of his way to make his feelings for her known until after the Ball, after all - but she may be feeling guilty for stringing Krum along. Although the fact that she’s also using Krum’s name to bait Ron into a jealous rage later in that scene shows that if she feels guilty, she certainly isn’t letting it stop her from playing mind-games with Ron.

and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry

They’re at a school after all, the rumor mill goes fast. Hermione herself was victim of it last year when Rita Skeeter slandered her and made her look like she played with both Harry and Krum’s heart. She speaks from experience there.

And she probably can't work out what her feelings toward Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful.

I love the “so that's all very mixed up and painful”, understatement of the century!

Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's been flying so badly

……….. I doubt Cho was thinking about that when she was kissing Harry, though. Why would she think about Quidditch when she’s doing… something completely unrelated?

And then we get to the famous

A slightly stunned silence greeted the end of this speech, then Ron said, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." "Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have," said Hermione nastily, picking up her her quill again.

(why have Romione shippers latched onto this quote, it’s here, it’s clearly written “nastily”, why do you guys act like it’s awesome or cute or witty when it’s just plain mean)

Anyway when Ron is saying

"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."

He’s actually right.

Because what has Cho been doing all that time?

Crying.

What has Harry been doing all throughout the book?

Yelling, screaming, being generally aggressive.

Cho is bursting into tears. Harry is exploding in anger.

Ron is right: one person can’t feel all that at once. They get overwhelmed, and so they do something, anything to get those feelings out. Because our brains can only handle so much repression and bullshit, they have to let loose sometimes.

Hermione’s analysis is partially right, because she has been somewhat in Cho’s situation and she can relate somewhat.

You’ll notice that she makes no mention of Cho’s desperate desire to know what happened to Cedric, or of the need for closure. That’s because Hermione can’t relate to this side of Cho’s feelings.

In Half-Blood Prince, we get another very “Hermione reads Psychology Today” moment:

“I’d much rather have Tonks in the family,” said Ginny. “At least she’s a laugh.” “She hasn’t been much of a laugh lately,” said Ron. “Every time I’ve seen her she’s looked more like Moaning Myrtle.” “That’s not fair,” snapped Hermione. “She still hasn’t got over what happened…you know… I mean, he was her cousin!” Harry’s heart sank. They had arrived at Sirius. He picked up a fork and began shovelling scrambled eggs into his mouth, hoping to deflect any invitation to join in this part of the conversation. “Tonks and Sirius barely knew each other!” said Ron. “Sirius was in Azkaban half her life and before that their families never met –“ “That’s not the point,” said Hermione. “She thinks it was her fault he died!” “How does she work that one out?” asked Harry, in spite of himself. “Well, she was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange, wasn’t she? I think she feels that if only she had finished her off, Bellatrix couldn’t have killed Sirius.” “That’s stupid,” said Ron. “It’s survivor’s guilt,” said Hermione. “I know Lupin’s tried to talk her round, but she’s still really down. She’s actually having trouble with her Metamorphosing!”

The end of the book eventually reveals that Tonks was pining for Lupin all this time. Whether or not you ship it is irrelevant in this case, what is interesting is Hermione’s analysis.

“She hasn’t been much of a laugh lately,” said Ron. “Every time I’ve seen her she’s looked more like Moaning Myrtle.” “That’s not fair,” snapped Hermione.

So, obviously, it wouldn’t be Hermione if she didn’t have a go at Ron for being “insensitive” first - not caring that Ron might just be making an observation and not a criticism of Tonks’ character.

“She still hasn’t got over what happened…you know… I mean, he was her cousin!” […] “Tonks and Sirius barely knew each other!” said Ron. “Sirius was in Azkaban half her life and before that their families never met –“ “That’s not the point,” said Hermione.

… well actually Hermione, yes, that’s exactly the point. Ron logically points out that Tonks might not really have been very attached to Sirius, simply because she didn’t know him very well. And he’s right! We have another example of a character who doesn’t feel much about people he’s “meant” to grieve: Harry himself!

Harry doesn’t really feel a sense of loss regarding his parents. He doesn’t miss them. He never really knew them. He idealizes them, sure. He imagines what they did based on pictures of them, yes. But he doesn’t feel their loss like he feels Sirius’ death, for example; and that’s normal, because he has no memory of them, and therefore has no feelings associated with them! That’s a tragedy in itself, of course. But Harry doesn’t suffer from his parents’ loss as much as, say, Ron will suffer from Fred’s death. Because Ron has known Fred his whole life; Ron has countless memories of Fred; Ron can truly, really miss the person Fred was. Harry can only miss the idea he has of his parents.

Aaaanyway I’ve gotten off-topic -

“She thinks it was her fault he died!” “How does she work that one out?” asked Harry, in spite of himself. “Well, she was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange, wasn’t she? I think she feels that if only she had finished her off, Bellatrix couldn’t have killed Sirius.” “That’s stupid,” said Ron. “It’s survivor’s guilt,” said Hermione.

Oh, look at that! A term found in psychology books!

“It’s survivor’s guilt,” said Hermione.

Hermione’s theory assumes a few things:

that Tonks had a very strong relationship with Sirius (Hermione justifies this one by claiming that they’re cousins, ignoring that you can very well have cousins that you never meet even once for several reasons)

that Tonks would feel personally responsible for Sirius’ death, instead of knowing it was a distinct possibility (she’s an Auror after all)

Hermione believes she’s found an explanation to Tonks’ depressed mood in the form of survivor’s guilt; she doesn’t reach a conclusion based on her observations, she instead takes a possible conclusion and then extrapolates arguments that fit in with said conclusion. Sherlock Holmes would be having a fit if he saw her reasoning.

So, that was the “Hermione has read one psychology book and now she thinks she’s unlocked every secret of the human psyche” explanation…

But we’re still lacking a key part of Hermione’s character that also causes her trouble when it comes to people’s feelings: the “I-won’t-say-I-told-you-so-but-actually-yes-I-will”.

The biggest, and most famous, instance of it happens in Prisoner of Azkaban:

“What’s the matter, Lavender?” said Hermione anxiously as she, Harry, and Ron went to join the group. “She got a letter from home this morning,” Parvati whispered. “It’s her rabbit, Binky. He’s been killed by a fox.” “Oh,” said Hermione, “I’m sorry, Lavender.” “I should have known!” said Lavender tragically. “You know what day it is?” “Er —” “The sixteenth of October! ‘That thing you’re dreading, it will happen on the sixteenth of October!’ Remember? [Trelawney] was right, she was right!” The whole class was gathered around Lavender now. Seamus shook his head seriously. Hermione hesitated; then she said, “You — you were dreading Binky being killed by a fox?” “Well, not necessarily by a fox,” said Lavender, looking up at Hermione with streaming eyes, “but I was obviously dreading him dying, wasn’t I?” “Oh,” said Hermione. She paused again. Then — “Was Binky an old rabbit?” “N-no!” sobbed Lavender. “H-he was only a baby!” Parvati tightened her arm around Lavender’s shoulders. “But then, why would you dread him dying?” said Hermione. Parvati glared at her. “Well, look at it logically,” said Hermione, turning to the rest of the group. “I mean, Binky didn’t even die today, did he? Lavender just got the news today —” Lavender wailed loudly “– and she can’t have been dreading it, because it’s come as a real shock —” “Don’t mind Hermione, Lavender,” said Ron loudly, “she doesn’t think other people’s pets matter very much.”

Here we see Hermione’s problem in all its glory: she’s more interested in being right than in being kind.

While the narrative appears to look down on Lavender at first -

“I should have known!” said Lavender tragically. “You know what day it is?”

“Tragically” brings to mind the idea that Lavender is being theatric. Dramatic. That she’s overplaying it. At least, it is the impression I get from the use of that praticular adverb.

But subtle judgement aside, the narrative then brings up Lavender’s very real tears, showing that, dramatization aside, she is hurting:

looking up at Hermione with streaming eyes

“N-no!” sobbed Lavender. “H-he was only a baby!”

Lavender wailed loudly

Through this, Hermione just ploughs on with her logical analysis, completely ignoring poor Lavender’s reactions and feelings, until Ron thankfully shuts her down with a well-earned rebuttal.

Hermione wanted to be right. Hermione wanted to prove to everyone that Divination was rubbish because Hermione hated the subject. And while her logical arguments are all true and have credible basis, the fact remains that she’s being awful.

Lavender looked for sympathy, for warmth, for comfort. And for the most part, she had it.

But Hermione couldn’t resist the possibility of proving that Divination was fake. The moment Lavender mentionned Divination, it was all over: Hermione just couldn’t miss on the golden opportunity to “disprove” Trelawney’s prediction… using Lavender’s pain as her springboard.

Another example of Hermione enforcing her beliefs on others regardless of their feelings or opinions is when she goes full Jehovah Witness on the poor house-elves in Goblet of Fire. Who would have thought that house-elves didn’t like to be told they were brainwashed fools who couldn’t even notice they were enslaved by wizards?

Then we have, of course, Half-Blood Prince. Oh, Half-Blood Prince.

“I won’t say ‘I told you so,’” said Hermione, an hour later in the common room. “Leave it, Hermione,” said Ron angrily. Harry had never made it to dinner; he had no appetite at all. He had just finished telling Ron, Hermione, and Ginny what had happened, not that there seemed to have been much need. […] “I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person,” Hermione said, evidently unable to stop herself. “And I was right, wasn’t I.” “No, I don’t think you were,” said Harry stubbornly.

There’s a whole fantastic analysis of this scene right here so I won’t rehash it: all you need to know is that Hermione is more interested in being told she’s right than in how Harry, her SUPPOSED BEST FRIEND, is feeling.

I mean, seriously, the “teaspoon” himself has picked up on it:

“Leave it, Hermione,” said Ron angrily.

Now let’s remember how Harry was feeling…

“SECTUMSEMPRA!” bellowed Harry from the floor, waving his wand wildly. Blood spurted from Malfoy’s face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backward and collapsed onto the waterlogged floor with a great splash, his wand falling from his limp right hand. “No—” gasped Harry. Slipping and staggering, Harry got to his feet and plunged toward Malfoy, whose face was now shining scarlet, his white hands scrabbling at his blood-soaked chest. “No—I didn’t—” Harry did not know what he was saying; he fell to his knees beside Malfoy, who was shaking uncontrollably in a pool of his own blood. Moaning Myrtle let out a deafening scream: “MURDER! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM! MURDER!” The door banged open behind Harry and he looked up, terrified: Snape had burst into the room, his face livid. Pushing Harry roughly aside, he knelt over Malfoy, drew his wand, and traced it over the deep wounds Harry’s curse had made, muttering an incantation that sounded almost like song. The flow of blood seemed to ease; Snape wiped the residue from Malfoy’s face and repeated his spell. Now the wounds seemed to be knitting. Harry was still watching, horrified by what he had done, barely aware that he too was soaked in blood and water. Moaning Myrtle was still sobbing and wailing overhead. When Snape had performed his countercurse for the third time, he half-lifted Malfoy into a standing position.

Yeah, I reckon Harry is feeling terrible enough.

There’s no need to rub salt in the wound. Harry is well-aware that he screwed up big time, and his friends know it. They won’t chew Harry out, because they know he’s already kicking himself for his use of Sectumsempra.

Well, Ron and Ginny won’t, but Hermione, oh well, she’s got an opportunity to become the best at Potions again, so she is going to make the most of it.

“I don’t believe this,” said Hermione. “You’re actually defending —” “I’m not defending what I did!” said Harry quickly. “I wish I hadn’t done it, and not just because I’ve got about a dozen detentions. You know I wouldn’t’ve used a spell like that, not even on Malfoy, but you can’t blame the Prince, he hadn’t written ‘try this out, it’s really good’ — he was just making notes for himself, wasn’t he, not for anyone else...” “Are you telling me,” said Hermione, “that you’re going to go back — ?” “And get the book? Yeah, I am,” said Harry forcefully. “Listen, without the Prince I’d never have won the Felix Felicis. I’d never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I’d never have —” “— got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don’t deserve,” said Hermione nastily.

This last line? This last line is very revealing of Hermione and her character.

She can't stand not being on top.

Sure, she’s nice and clever and she fights for justice. Until she is the one being subjected to it.

“If you ask me,” said Harry quietly, “McLaggen looks like he was Confunded this morning. And he was standing right in front of where you were sitting.” Hermione blushed. “Oh, all right then, I did it,” she whispered. "But you should have heard the way he was talking about Ron and Ginny! Anyway, he's got a nasty temper, you saw how he reacted when he didn't get in--you wouldn't have wanted someone like that on the team.” “No,” said Harry. “No, I suppose that's true. But wasn't that dishonest, Hermione? I mean, you're a prefect, aren't you?” “Oh, be quiet,” she snapped, as he smirked.

Notice how Hermione reacts. Harry is smirking, obviously amused by Hermione breaking the rules for her own gains - he may be thinking something along the lines of “ha, I’m a bad influence on her”. But Hermione? She snaps at him. She’s not amused at all. This is not a moment of camaraderie or complicity: she’s offended. She’s offended, because she knows he has a point. Hermione is interested in justice and fairness and equality, as long as she gets to be above it all.

She looked scandalized. Bending low so that only Harry could hear her, she hissed, “You should be expelled for that. I'd never have believed it of you, Harry!” “Look who's talking,” he whispered back. “Confunded anyone lately?” She stormed up the table away from them. Harry watched her go without regret. Hermione had never really understood what a serious business Quidditch was.

Gasp! A valid point! How dare you!

Sure, Hermione likes her friends. Hermione cares for her friends. Hermione wants the best for her friends.

But ultimately, she likes herself more. She has more consideration for herself than for her friends. And she wants the best for her friends, but only if she gets to be better than them.

It’s quite natural for a teenager, and especially for someone as driven by success as Hermione is, to have such an attitude. She thinks her academical success is the most important thing about her, and she can’t stand to lose it, because it means that she’s not important anymore. Hermione wants to be important, wants to be relied on, wants to be known as “the clever one”, because she desperately needs this sort of validation. If she has to ostracize her peers for it, fine; at least she still is praised for being the best.

Alright. Now, I wasn’t completely done with Half-Blood Prince.

“I told you there was something wrong with that Prince person,” Hermione said, evidently unable to stop herself. “And I was right, wasn’t I.” “No, I don’t think you were,” said Harry stubbornly.

… fast-forward to the day right before Dumbledore’s burial.

[Hermione mentions Snape to Harry]

She looked nervous even saying the name again. “What about him?” asked Harry heavily, slumping back in his chair. “Well, it’s just that I was sort of right about the Half-Blood Prince business,” she said tentatively.

DEAR LORD WHY IS THIS GIRL PRAISED FOR BEING A BOOKWORM WHEN SHE CAN’T EVEN READ A MOOD I get why I call Hermione a bitch now; indeed, she’s like a dog with a bone, she never lets go.

“D’you have to rub it in, Hermione? How d’you think I feel about that now?” “No—no—Harry, I didn’t mean that!” she said hastily, looking around to check that they were not being overheard.

Well you didn’t mean that but you certainly managed to make him feel terrible so congrats. Why do they call you the brightest witch of your age again?

“It’s just that I was right about Eileen Prince once owning the book. You see… she was Snape’s mother!”

Yes, yes, we get it, you were right, you were right, you were right, here’s your biscuit. Now you mind going away before you cause Harry to spiral in depression even more?

“I thought she wasn’t much of a looker,” said Ron.

Good old Ron, trying to make people laugh even in the direst situations. We don’t deserve him.

Hermione ignored him.

Especially you.

“I was going through the rest of the old Prophets and there was a tiny announcement about Eileen Prince marrying a man called Tobias Snape, and then later an announcement saying that she’d given birth to a—” “—murderer,” spat Harry. “Well… yes,” said Hermione. “So… I was sort of right. Snape must have been proud of being “half a Prince”, you see? Tobias Snape was a Muggle from what it said in the Prophet—” “Yeah, that fits,” said Harry. “He’d play up the pure-blood side so he could get in with Lucius Malfoy and the rest of them… he’s just like Voldemort. Pure-blood mother, Muggle father… ashamed of his parentage, trying to make himself feared using the Dark Arts, gave himself an impressive new name—Lord Voldemort—the Half-Blood Prince—how could Dumbledore have missed—?” He broke off, looking out of the window. He could not stop himself dwelling upon Dumbledore’s inexcusable trust in Snape… but as Hermione had just inadvertently reminded him, he, Harry, had been taken in just the same… in spite of the increasing nastiness of those scribbled spells, he had refused to believe ill of the boy who had been so clever, who had helped him so much…

Okay let’s see.

In one conversation.

Hermione says “I was right” no less than three times.

Every time she does so, Harry’s mood takes another nosedive. (And some people want Harry and Hermione together?? Do you folks even read???)

And guess who is the one who has the cleverness to change the subject before Harry flings himself out aforementioned window?

[…] he had refused to believe ill of the boy who had been so clever, who had helped him so much… Helped him… it was an almost unendurable thought, now… “I still don’t get why he didn’t turn you in for using that book,” said Ron. “He must’ve known where you were getting it all from.”

THANK GOD FOR RON, THERE ACTUALLY IS SOMEONE HERE WHO HAS A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

this is totally a demarcation line shut up

Saying that Hermione doesn’t understand human feelings would be false. Hermione does understand emotions, but she tends to overestimate how much she does.

Hermione tries to analyze other people’s feelings through projection of her own and simple logic. But feelings are one of those things that you can’t really use logic on. Trying to explain a person’s feelings with logic will often get you angry, defensive responses, but Hermione can’t resist; she has to be right, all the time, and she wants people to know she’s right.

All in all, Hermione would rather voice her opinion and be ostracized than maintain a diplomatic atmosphere.

#hermione granger #harry potter #ron weasley #character analysis #analysis #hp meta #hermione granger critical #hermione critical #hp analysis #vivi's post

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bisluthq · 4 years

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hi I was wondering what your favourite sapphic songs of Taylor's are? cause kaylors make such a big deal of the 'male perspective' in songs like our song, love story, mine. and I agree that wanting to experience that is gay in itself. but those songs just feel so straight country love songs that I really cannot see them as sapphic, particularly given that she also sings from the 'female perspective' to the man. so I wondered which songs feel most sapphic to you?

Ohh boy yeah the male perspective (except Betty where it’s gay in concept and feels very like when 15 year old me was obsessed with Blue Mountain State lmao) never screams gay to me. Let’s do a roundup of sapphic lyrics and themes.

In Teardrops on My Guitar, Taylor says: “Drew walks by me... Can he tell that I can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly... The kind of flawless I wish I could be.” Now the whole song’s unseen pining is pretty gay to me. Like I say, there are unrequited straight songs but it’s very like... “why aren’t you understanding that I’m right here? How can you be so blind?” In Teardrops Taylor seems very aware that this person (well boy in the song) won’t ever notice her.

And sure we could say “well she has poor self-confidence” but then there’s that line in the bit I chose: “The kind of flawless I wish I could be” - why is she comparing herself to a boy? Do I want to be you or do I want to fuck you is such a big mood for queer women especially young queer women. I dunno, like my first few late elementary/early middle school crushes (and my first few crushes were on girls) were very like: “Do I want to be her? Do I want to be her best friend? Or do I want her to hold my hand? And why does her holding my hand make my heart beat faster and seem to have no effect on her?” There’s a definite way queer women compare ourselves to the object of our affections that straight women don’t seem to do that makes “my crush is the kind of flawless I wish I could be” feel extremely sapphic to me.

Oh bonus one from Teardrops: “The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star / He's the song in the car I keep singing. Don't know why I do” - why doesn’t she know? Like what’s confusing about this situation? She likes this dude why is it such a big fucking deal that she does? And again why does she want to be like him?

Anyway yeah that whole song.

Also Invisible is gay af. Like if you reverse the pronouns it’s the universal queer woman’s story of being in love with your friend. And this bitch is into some dude who isn’t anywhere near good enough for her and your affections are invisible but if she only knew - and she won’t - the two of you could have something beautiful together.

Stay Beautiful also reads gay but apparently she wrote it in the fourth grade so maybe her vocab was just bad idk.

On that album, Tied Together with a Smile and I’m Only Me When I’m With You are formally, officially, according to Tay’s explanations about her female friends btw. If you listen to those two songs and then the first two I listed they’re... not that fucking different lmao. It’s that same idea of “you get me and I just want you to be happy”. It’s all just... gay...

Fearless is probably one of the least gay albums overall IMO (tho I’m open to people making stuff gay) but it does give us the title track which is very fucking gay lol so it makes up for the number of straight sounding songs on here. First there’s this bit:

We're drivin' down the road

I wonder if you know

I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now

But you're just so cool

Run your hands through your hair

Absent-mindedly makin' me want you

Man “I wonder if you know” is exactly that feeling I was describing like, I wonder if you realize this is more than friendship? I wonder if you know that I want you. And the “you’re just so cool” isn’t as explicitly “I want to be you” but it’s also got some of that shared energy. This person is so cool that them running their hand absent-mindedly through their hair is making her feel some type of way and yet she’s not sure if the person knows that. Now why wouldn’t this extremely cool guy know that the girl he’s giving a lift to is possibly interested?

Then there’s this bit:

My hands shake

I'm not usually this way

But you pull me in and I'm a little more brave

It's the first kiss,

It's flawless,

Really something,

It's fearless.

Why does this first kiss require so much bravery? It’s not her first ever because “I’m not usually this way” implies she has been in a similar position before. And then:

And I don't know why but with you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress

Fearless

“I don’t know why” - well because you like this person! Girl, you’re into them. Oh, you’re not sure why because it’s a girl? Also lbr discussing clothes with your crush/partner is a very gay girl thing so just that addition of “my best dress” in the context of the rest of this incredibly gay song is... gay...

Oh and a bonus point:

'Cause I don't know how it gets better than this

You take my hand and drag me head first

Fearless

Making that big a deal of handholding and saying it requires bravery is, you guessed it, gay af.

Untouchable also delivers some gems: “Untouchable like a distant diamond sky / I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why / I'm caught up in you” - I mean this is that whole vague confused forbidden vibes I spoke about before and the “And when you're close I feel like coming undone”. For me, it’s the fact that this person’s mere presence is enough to make her undone and she’s begging for a “taste of Heaven” feels... gay...

Jump Then Fall is also pretty damn gay to me. It’s got that dangerous “this could be dangerous” thing going on (“I had time to think it all over and all I can say is come closer”) but it’s also positive and... she’s saying jump and I’ll catch you which... like I get that it could be metaphorical but generally with het couples the dude would do the catching. Like if it was just that it’d not be that gay but again, the whole thing... is...

Whoa, oh, I need you baby

Don't be afraid, please,

Jump then fall

Jump then fall into me

Baby, I'm never gonna leave you

Say that you wanna be with me too

'Cause I'mma stay through it all

So jump then fall

Jump then fall, baby,

Jump then fall into me, into me

Like why are they both so scared? Why is she convincing herself and this person? What’s the danger? Is it just meant to be a “loss of virginity” song?

Then there’s the catching bit I mentioned:

The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet

I'll catch you, I'll catch you

When people say things that bring you to your knees

I'll catch you

Idk man. It’s gay.

By the way for two unrequited songs that fundamentally feel straight to me, look at The Other Side of the Door and You Belong With Me. I’m not saying you can’t have queer readings. But both of them have that “blame” angle to the guy’s lack of interest or inability to requite her feelings. Like she’s saying “I won’t tell you what I want or that I want you but you should figure it out ya big dummy!” which is inherently different to that “I know this is completely pointless and I’m barking up the wrong tree” energy of the other songs I mentioned. “I’m worried you’ll hurt me” songs are also different to “if you stand close to me I’ll completely fall apart but I can’t let you see” of... like... Untouchable.

Hey Stephen has the “I can't help it if you look like an angel” line but it’s generally straight for me because:

Hey, Stephen,

I could give you fifty reasons

Why I should be the one you choose.

All those other girls—

Well, they're beautiful,

But would they write a song for you?

Do you see what I mean it’s like “I know you might not want me but you should” and that’s not a sapphic vibe. Like that’s to me what makes her gay sounding songs so much gayer like they capture a very specific feeling - being confused on if you want to be her, be her friend or fuck her dumb ass.

On Speak Now Taylor adds another type of gayness into her repertoire. She does the “I’m singing about a guy but it’s all about a girl” thing in Better Than Revenge. Now I know she has been called out a lot for this and she herself has now said obvi girls don’t steal your boyfriend BUT that’s not the part I find interesting. It’s shit like: “She thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things” - like girl, that is psycho. Being obsessed with the fact that she is wearing vintage dresses is weird. And Taylor does this in the title track with her lengthy descriptions of the bridge compared to ZERO description of the guy. Not even “looking so handsome” - like there’s nothing. But the bride is “floating down the aisle like a pageant queen”.

Idk this is only three albums and only like my favorite gay bits and I already have so many and I haven’t even gotten to Treacherous 😭 I think I should make a hashtag for this and carry on later.

The point is, for me, it’s not about her singing a back and forth with a guy and a girl. It’s capturing supremely sapphic wlw feelings that I’ve never seen a straight female songwriter or musician convey, even where I’ve loved their music and felt it strongly resonated with me for other reasons.

#sapphic themes in tay’s music #early gaylor vibes

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thebibliomancer · 4 years

Text

Essential Avengers: King-Size Annual Avengers #11: In Honor’s Name!

August, 1982

“Why do the AVENGERS battle the Defenders?”

I dunno, man. Is it Tuesday again?

“And who is the mystery woman Nebulon has fallen for?”

Nebulona? She’s clearly just him but a woman.

Oh, hey Beast. So this is where you got to after quitting the Avengers.

Soooo.... Annuals, amirite? Pain in my butt. I actually forgot to cover this one and #12 is going to be somewhat plot relevant soon so I’ll shove this in wherever.

Its a blast from the past of the previous year. Back when the Avengers were fantastic but only numbered four: Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and Wasp.

And the Defenders seem to number many so this isn’t a very fair fight at all.

This issue starts with a PRELUDE

(J. M. DeMatteis again? Is this going to be weird?)

Nebulon the Celestial Man and damn fine dresser fades onto a hilltop shaking his fist and yelling that someone can’t do something to him.

Nebulon is mostly a Defenders villain and the major thing I know about him is that he’s supposedly exceptionally handsome but the handsomeness is a ruse and that the Squadron Sinister stopped helping him destroy the world once because they discovered he wasn’t as handsome as he was letting on.

Goes to show where their priorities lie. Also, the experience was so jarring that the evil Nighthawk decided to join the Defenders much to their chagrin.

So basically I know nothing about Nebulon. Hi, Nebulon.

An angry yelly fish head with the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips inside its fish lips shows up (I think this is what Nebulon realy looks like) and tells Nebulon that his punishment for constantly dicking with Earth is to be stranded on Earth with his powers reduced to half and stuck in his handsome-to-some-but-grotesque-to-fish body.

Okay. That clears things up.

Although I wish all of space would stop using Earth as their place to dump stuff or exile people. Its bad enough when Asgard does it. Its worse enough when there’s a whole crossover about all of space deciding to make Earth its supermax jail. And its a medium amount enough here.

But apparently the shouty fish people have a Prime Directive and Nebulon keeps breaking it, specifically on Earth. But a Prime Directive that also lets them dump troublemakers on planets where they’ve been troublemaking.

Nebulon tries to defend himself that, hey, Earth makes you do crazy stuff. But the yell fish is hearing nothing of it and just tells Nebulon to kill himself if he doesn’t want to be on Earth so bad.

... Eesh.

In his rage at being stranded on Earth, Nebulon teleports inside the Sanctum Sanctorum and starts yelling at Wong.

Wong tells him, dude, Dr Strange isn’t even here. So Nebulon starts beating up Wong.

How dare you, sir. Wong is a great guy!

Nebulon: “Then Wong shall die -- just as your master shall soon die -- and his accursed Defenders with him! They shall all pay for bringing this tragedy down on my head! For, if they had not risen up to thwart me. If they -- if they... Listen to me. Listen to the words of -- a fool! Forgive me, Wong! Neither you, Strange, nor the Defenders are responsible! The blame belongs solely to -- NEBULON!”

And then he teleports away, no doubt leaving Wong very confused.

CHAPTER 1: IN HONOR’S NAME!

Later, Thor flies over the Himalaya mountains and over the chapter title.

He has come for some peace and quiet sitting on a mountain away from the bustle of mortals but what does he find but someone already in his thinking spot!

Thor lands to see who would be sitting on a mountain with no pants on and its Nebulon, of course.

But I have to say. He’s sitting and hugging his knees. That’s advanced brood. That’s, in fact, verging on pout.

Although lets not let the fact that Thor flies out to the Himalayas to be alone sometimes slip on by uncommented.

Thor asks what brings the guy out here and Nebulon has a dramatic exile speech ready to go.

Nebulon: “For hours now I have sat, lost in thought, pondering that very question! What is it that brings any creature to the depths of despair, the edge of doom, but... himself?”

And since he senses a kindred spirit in Thor, one who is as different from the Earthly masses as Nebulon is, he unloads his full story onto Thor’s ears.

Upon hearing all about this dude who tried to take over or sell the world multiple times, Thor is like ‘this guy has got to meet the Avengers!’

Nebulon thinks Avengers sounds like Defenders and he’s not into that but Thor says that the Avengers are way cooler than the Defenders.

(Ooooh, shots fired, Thor)

Thor: “No, my friend -- there are none in all creation to compare with the Avengers! A hardier band of warriors hath ne’er been assembled! Where else could a god walk among mortals and find -- his equals?”

If Nebulon has truly repented of his past deeds, the Avengers will help him make a home on Earth.

And with a manly armclasp, like the one from Predator, Nebulon accepts and Thor takes him AWAY!

While the person who looks like Nebulon but a woman and with better boots watches them go and disappears in a bright flash of light.

CHAPTER 2

Yes, already.

“Avengers Mansion... Over the years, many fantastic beings have walked through the doors of this august Manhattan townhouse: Gods, mutants, androids... even a were-woman. But, of all these unique individuals, few -- if any -- have been more honored, more respected... More willing to serve the cause of freedom, wherever the place, whenever the time.. than the living legend whose only powers are his wits, his daring, and his years of hard-won skill... Captain America!”

And we see Cap leaping and gamboling about the exercise room, exercising.

Cap: “Ah -- there’s nothing like a good workout to make a man feel truly alive! It might pay to run through it once more, though --- my timing was a hair off on the parallel bars!”

Wasp comes in to... well, its Wasp. She comes to eye the eye candy and flirt a little, in a friendly fashion.

Wasp: “I see you’re here early for our meeting -- as usual! Don’t you ever slow down?”

Cap: “I seem to remember catching a few winks back in 1942 or so!”

Wasp: “Why, Cap -- that was two jokes in a row! I didn’t think you had it in you!”

Cap: “Oh, come on, Jan -- I’m not really that serious a guy, am I?”

Wasp: “I was just kidding, handsome.”

Cap: “Oh.”

Heh.

So, Thor called a super special emergency meeting of the Avengers to introduce his cool new friend.

Iron Man (secretly Tony Stark, true believers) is a little tense about the meeting because he had to cancel three business conferences, an address to foreign stockholders, and two dates.

Geez, for one meeting? You ever consider your calendar is way too packed, Tony?

Thor arrives with his cool, new pal and introduces the Avengers to NEBULON -- THE CELESTIAL MAN!

And Iron Man lunges out of his chair to get into better pointing distance.

Thor: “What irks thee, comrade? Why art thou so angered?”

Iron Man: “What irks me, Thor? He does! Haven’t you ever bothered to study our computer-file on alien threats? Your ‘newfound ally’ almost totalled the Earth -- several times!”

Nebulon: “Don’t you see, Thor? They react as I predicted they would!”

Also, geez. I know Tony is frustrated about all the schedule juggling he’s had to do but in this and the Black Knight two-parter he’s a lot ruder to Thor than you’d expect considering how close they are.

Some writers just don’t get the Avengers, I guess.

Cap and Wasp try to get Iron Man to calm down.

Wasp: “I’m sure there’s a darn good reason why Thor brought Nebulon here -- isn’t there?”

She’s downright staring daggers at him when she asks that.

We’ve jumped back in time a little from where I was covering but Jan is still the chairperson of the Avengers. It happened right when she returned from her divorce related hiatus and this four person group has to take place post-Tigra leaving and pre-membership drive.

So, she’s the boss and she just gave angry boss eyes at Thor. And Thor did his default squinting always-looks-pissed look back at her.

Thor tells Nebulon’s whole sad story off-panel.

And damn if it doesn’t hit the Avengers right where they live.

Wasp tells him that they all know what it means to lose something precious “whether it’s an entire world... or the love of one person -- it makes no difference! It hurts to suddenly find yourself -- alone!”

And Captain America sympathizes because when he was defrosted after twenty years, it was like a strange new world!

They’re both on team ‘give Nebulon a chance!’

Iron Man is more reluctant but decides to give Nebulon one chance.

Then the Defenders bust in.

Beast, Valkyrie, Silver Surfer, and Gargoyle who is not Etrigan at all.

And they’re here to kick Nebulon’s ass. Which is entirely fair considering that they’ve been the ones who keep having to stop Nebulon’s planschemes.

Since the Avengers seem to not be beating up Nebulon, obviously they’ve all been mind controlled. Nebulon is clearly planning to blow up half the Earth and use the Avengers to control the rest.

Cap: ‘what’

Silver Surfer: ‘HE’S MAKING A HOSTILE MOVE!’

And then Silver Surfer blasts the floor, sending all of the Avengers sprawling every which way.

MEANWHILE, IN SPACE

There’s a huge spaceship, in space. And within the huge spaceship in space, the lady who looks like a lady Nebulon watches the fight on a screen and cries.

Hey, I get it. Doing the Avengers vs Defenders Again But Worse makes me sad too.

CHAPTER 3

See, that’s more of the length for a chapter. You could learn something from chapter 2, chapter 1.

Anyway, the clock winds back a little for the Defender’s side of the story.

Valkyrie returns to the Sanctum Sanctorum in a good mood and also on a flying horse.

For a long while, Valkyrie’s status quo is that she was inhabiting the body of Barbara Norris, a woman that Dr Strange accidentally drove insane. But she’s gotten her original Asgardian body back so she’s stronger than ever and also not bodyjacking someone else.

She flies into the window, alarming Gargoyle, Beast, and Wong.

Gargoyle tearfully flies up and hugs Valkyrie saying that he thought she was leaving for Asgard forever.

Hey, um, who dis?

-wiki- Ok so he’s an elderly man who was trapped in a gargoyle body by some demons who he broke an agreement with. Cool, cool, cool. I would have guessed much younger based on how he acts here.

Valkyrie also smooshes Beast’s hand when he gives her a handshake hello, because she’s much buffer than she was when she left. Also, she talks more like Thor.

Valkyrie: “I am, at long last, the true Valkyrie! What more need be said?”

Then the Lady Nebulon teleports in and introduces herself as Supernalia. She tells the Defenders that she’s here to save the world from the evil of NEBULON!

Beast doesn’t recognize the name but Valkyrie definitely does. What with all the existing history that I keep alluding to.

Supernalia: “Indeed! I am a bounty hunter from Nebulon’s homeworld come to bring him to justice! He has fled to your Earth, taking sanctuary among the so-called Avengers! Using celestial mind control, he has usurped their will, and -- after decimating part of your world with four pre-set anti-matter bombs -- he plans to use the Avengers to take control of the surviving population!”

Beast goes ‘uh cool story but i’mma verify this real quick by ringing them up’

But then he remembers he already did do that and they were very rude to him!

He remembers this interaction very clearly even though it didn’t happen at all.

Ironically, the Defenders are the ones who are being mind-controlled into accusing other people of being mind-controlled. Yes, I’m pretty sure that’s irony.

Wong suddenly remembers that Nebulon rushed in the previous night but he can’t remember how that interaction actually went.

AH HAH, decides Beast. Clearly proof that Nebulon mind-controlled Wong. Lets go half-cocked everyone.

No, no. Beast decides they’ll need more than just the three of them and wonders who they should call to bolster their numbers to a whole four Defenders. Dr Strange is busy chasing Daimon Hellstrom and Namor soooo...

Valkyrie suggests Silver Surfer because he kicks ass but they have no way to get in contact with him.

Supernalia goes hey allow me.

Supernalia: “Although my planet’s laws forbid direct involvement with alien cultures -- and thus my need of you Defenders -- I can help!”

And she baps Valkyrie in the forehead and instantly transmissions Silver Surfer right to the Sanctum to his existential annoyance.

Silver Surfer: What force has swept me halfway ‘round the world? Who toys with -- the Silver Surfer?”

Valkyrie explains off-panel because this is very much “let me explain! No, there is too much. Let me sum up” kind of day.

CHAPTER 4

We cut back to right after the Silver Surfer knocked everyone on their ass with a warning shot.

Thor: “Surfer -- art thou mad?! Thy ‘warning’ came close to slaying us all!”

Thor gets up to kick Norrin’s rad ass but Valkyrie grabs his arm. She tries to convince him to trust her that Nebulon is controlling the Avengers. She appeals to their shared history, their shared love.

Thor: “Brunnhilde -- thou art truly the one blinded... by thine own prejudice! Because, once, Nebulon stood as thine enemy -- thou takest him for that again!”

Valkyrie: “Thunderer -- once I loved thee -- but now I see -- that thou art -- A FOOL!”

Then she just up and tosses him.

It’s pretty great.

Thor just rights himself midtoss by helicoptering his hammer and tells Valkyrie that she’s the fool. And also that because she fucking threw him, now he knows that its her group that are under some kind of control.

Nebulon starts yelling too because he’s not going to sit by while other people fight his battle so he’s like ‘come on if you’re hard enough, dickfenders’ and Beast is like ‘ok.’

Wasp, team leader, thinks Thor is onto something re: the Defenders being against some kind of influence and asks Iron Man to create a distraction so the Avengers can skedaddle.

Iron Man has the perfect distraction and fires the UNIBEEEEAM. At his own roof, collapsing it on the Defenders.

Iron Man: “Wait till Tony gets the bill for this!”

... so depending on the time frame, either only Nebulon or both him and Wasp are the only ones who don’t know Iron Man is Tony so who are you putting on a show for, Tony?

Or maybe you’re just so used to grousing about the Avengers breaking your shit that you do it even when you do it.

Anyway, since Thor has a hunch that the Defenders are being controlled, he decides that the best thing is to teleport somewhere safe and make a plan.

So Nebulon teleports himself and the Avengers to the Himalayas where he and Thor first met.

The effort nearly kills Nebulon, since his powers have been curtailed by the yell fish. But now they have some space.

Wasp: “And don’t think we don’t appreciate it, Nebulon! But couldn’t you have zapped us to a more temperate climate -- like the Bahamas... or the French Riviera? It mean, it’s COLD here!”

Cap hopes that the Defenders won’t find them somewhere so remote and isolated but Thor, whose idea this was by the by, isn’t so sure because they don’t know who is pulling the strings.

Iron Man: “Good point! Are we dealing with one of our old foes -- one of the Defenders’ -- or perhaps someone out for Nebulon’s head! Let’s face it: we’ve got a wide field to choose from!”

Annnnnnd thennnnn, the Defenders just show up anyway so trying to get some breathing room was a waste of Nebulon’s efforts.

Beast: “Cap, Thor, Iron Man, Jan! You’re all my friends... more than that -- you’re family! So why won’t you believe me when I tell you that this nut’s gonna wipe the whole planet out in a matter of hours! Please -- hand him over or --.”

Nebulon: “Or... NOTHING!”

Then he shoots an energy blast at the Defenders.

Which sadly arcs to the ground with a SHOOOM! and does little more than splash some snow on the Defenders.

But awwww, Beast considers the Avengers family! Shame that once the X-Men pull him back into their orbit, he only hangs out with them and decides never to ask the Avengers for help, either when Professor X gets shot by Stryfe or when trying to solve the Legacy Virus.

I think that social group is a bad influence on Beast. He never broke time or pretended to be gay to dunk on his ex when he was an Avenger. He just got high, practiced polyamory, and yukked it up with his bffsie Wonder Man.

Anyway, Silver Surfer gets up and disses Nebulon for his sad laser blast.

Silver Surfer: “Like all who seek conquest, Nebulon -- you refuse to recognize truth! You alter reality to serve your own malefic ends! But the power you no wield, tyrant, is as nothing compared to that which you once had! You are weak -- as Supernalia said you would be!”

Nebulon is aghast to hear that Supernalia is the one behind all of this. And also aghast when Gargoyle shoots a bio-mystic bolt at him.

Apparently, Gargoyle can shoot bio-mystic bolts. Are there mystic bolts that are not bio? Shrug.

CHAPTER 5

Hey, some of these chapter divisions feel arbitrary. We go from the fight to the fight. At least some other chapter divisions had scene or temporal shifts.

Cap begs the Defenders to fight off Supernalia’s influence. Or the Avengers will fight off Supernalia’s influence for them. Probably via punches.

For whatever reason, this makes Valkyrie go stickycaps.

Valkyrie: “The hour of Earth’s doom draws ever closer -- and, to prevent that doom, we will do whate’er we must! wHaTeVeR wE mUsT!”

Mystifying.

Anyway, with both sides thinking the other side are dumb easily mind-controlled doodoo heads, they both get to the slugfest that neither side wants but thinks there’s no other way to reach the other side but by punching some sense into them.

This panel feels like a microcosm of a lot of Marvel events.

And as this goes on Nebulon just watches the fight with calculating eyes.

I’m sure that’s fine.

Thor and Valkyrie continue sparring verbally, as well as with punches. Valkyrie asks how Thor can let Midgard be destroyed when they both love it so much. And Thor is like ‘for the last time, there’s no danger except from your mysterious new golden pal’

Meanwhile, the Defender’s mysterious new golden pal Supernalia is monitoring the fight from her spaceship. And monitoring the Defenders’ brainwaves.

Thor is actually making Valkyrie doubt. And Supernalia can’t have that.

Supernalia: “I cannot afford to lose control of the Defenders now! For honor’s sake, their rage must grow! And more -- they must retain a psychological surety that cannot be breached! In Valkyrie’s case, the introduction of something... familiar -- something to increase her confidence -- would seem appropriate!”

So Supernalia teleports Valkyrie’s sweet flying horse Aragorn to just. Appear on the Himalayas. Between Valkyrie and Thor.

Valkyrie doesn’t know how her horse suddenly appeared but she’s not going to look a gift teleporting winged horse in the mouth. She jumps on his back and takes to the air.

Thor gets pissed and hammerflings himself after her.

While Thor is chasing Valkyrie around the sky, Iron Man squares up with Silver Surfer.

Silver Surfer tells Iron Man that “you see to halt one who has outraced comets! Soared faster than light itself!” and basically that he rules, Iron Man sucks. And then to prove it, he blasts Iron Man with the power cosmic.

Just that one attack nearly tore Iron Man apart and he’s pretty sure that Silver Surfer was holding back. Oof, that’s some power gap.

BUT MAYBE just maybe if Iron Man puts all of his might into one staggering punch...

It’ll do jack shit to the Surfer.

Well, damn.

Gargoyle fights Wasp but says its not proper for a man to fight a lady. Wasp points out ‘hey you’re fighting me anyway so maybe someone is making you do it.’

Gargoyle: ‘.... NUH UH’

Cool. Good talk.

Supernalia: “This Gargoyle is too... soft! His mind accepts -- but his heart rebels! These beings are not like us! Their minds are filled with too many questions! Their souls overflow with conflicting emotions!”

I can’t believe humans (and Asgardians) have too many feelings and emotions to be easily controlled.

Well, I can believe. It really checks out.

So Supernalia increases the celestial mindwaves to shore up her control, even if it means burning out the Defenders.

Rude.

Thor blasts Valkyrie off of Aragorn with lightning and then catches her, saying he won’t let her fall. So, reasonably enough, Valkyrie elbows him in the face for treating her like a damsel.

They both fall toward the ground. Aragorn catches Valkyrie and Thor catches... a cosmic bolt from Silver Surfer.

You had one job, Iron Man.

And that job was to sneak up on Silver Surfer while he’s self-flagellating for doing a shameful opportunistic attack on Thor.

Iron Man uses those... hip... power pod... things. To zap Silver Surfer’s temples and siphon off some of his power.

And with that power, Iron Man tips a chunk of the mountain on top of Silver Surfer.

This doesn’t keep the Surfer down for long. Despite the fact that trying to contain the incredible surfing energies he absorbed threatens to damage his armor, Iron Man absorbs more when Silver Surfer blasts him, to try to turn the energy back at the Surfer.

Instead, they both explode.

Double KO.

Elsewhere in the fight, Gargoyle blasts Wasp with his bio-mystic bolts, knocking her into the snow.

Gargoyle panics because his bio-mystic bolts are supposed to drain off a fraction of a person’s life-force, not up and kill them.

So Gargoyle shouldn’t have been surprised when Wasp pops back up and zaps him in the chin. And Wasp shouldn’t have been surprised when Gargoyle zaps her back.

She passes out. But so does Gargoyle, to his confusion. His hide should be tough enough to take a truckload of punishment, yet he suddenly feels so weak.

I mean. Wasp is strong enough to blow up a house with her own zaps. But this is probably intended to be Supernalia’s mind control burning him out.

I choose to believe that its Wasp’s cool house-blowing-up might. She’s kicked bigger ass than Gargoyle.

Wasp’s defeat scream momentarily distracts Cap from where he’s fisticuffsing with Beast.

Beast: “Holy cow! I hope she’s not badly hurt!”

Cap: “You hope she’s not -- ?! You can still say that after all you’ve done today? After all the pain this Supernalia has driven the Defenders to cause?”

Beast: “We’ve caused? You’re the ones harboring the lunatic with the anti-matter bombs --.”

There’s no guilt-tripping some people.

Cap throws his mighty shield but Beast must not have heard the song because he not only doesn’t yield, he also catches the shield with his feets.

Then he sleds on it down a snowy incline and tackles Cap.

Beast: “It’s time we quit all this clowning around!”

Cap: “That’s right, Hank! This is serious business -- so hit me! Hit me, blast you! HIT ME!”

Beast: “Hey! wHaT tHe HeCk Am I dOiNg?”

Cap: “Coming to your senses, I hope!”

Beast realizes that Cap dropped his guard and let Beast beat the shit out of him on purpose, let Beast almost kill him.

Cap: “You’re no killer, Hank! And no force, however great, could make you kill! I counted on that fact to snap you out of it!”

Wow, good going, Cap!

Out of everyone here, you’re the only one who successfully snapped anyone out of anything. Although I think Wasp coulda if she had played possum and let Gargoyle think he killed her instead of popping up to zap him.

But Cap has insight into Hank. That probably helped.

Me and Jan know jack about Gargolye.

CHAPTER 6

With exactly two people conscious but not fighting anymore, Nebulon is like ‘hah eat shit Supernalia’

So Supernalia appears.

Beast feels like he’s about to keel over even though he beat the shit out of Cap and Cap feels weaker too. They blame Supernalia because its very easy to blame someone whose fault everything is.

But Supernalia blames Nebulon.

Nebulon slams a drama bomb in response.

Nebulon: “Do not seek to reclaim the upper hand with more lies, Supernalia! Such sophistry is unbecoming in... my wife!”

I heard that in Borat voice and I hate myself a little.

But now that Supernalia’s relation to Nebulon has been established, Nebulon is like ‘but why are you trying to ruin my exile?’

Supernalia: “You were convicted of high crimes, my husband -- and the sentence was a choice of honorable death by your own hand... or ignominious exile! In 500 generations, none of our people have ever chosen exile! All have proudly faced extinction! But you, lacking courage, brought shame upon your wife and children!”

HE HAS KIDS??

Anyway, she came to Earth to just. Kinda. Kill him. To restore honor to their family.

But when she got there, she found that he had already made friends and decided well I need some pawns of my own. So I can kill him.

Nebulon isn’t really impressed because in his one day as an exile, he’s had some epiphanies.

Nebulon: “Unlike you, I have traveled far across this universe! I have learned to see in new ways! Our concepts of honor are archaic! Our laws are cruel! I now dare to dream higher dreams, for I have learned what it means to have -- friends!”

Supernalia: “I have been your friend... and much more! Since our childhood betrothal have I stood by you -- despite your constant avoidance of responsibilities! Despite your failure to achieve glory or rank!”

Oof, imagine if your childhood friend and spouse told you that being exiled on Earth taught him what friendship really means.

I have to imagine that Cap and Beast are just listening to this like ‘god why do cosmic people always have to dump their relationship baggage on Earth?’

Supernalia then tries to tell Beast and Cap that Actually Nebulon is up to no good.

Beast is like yeah nice try.

But this time Supernalia has actual proof evidence.

She dispels the invisibility cloak hiding the Ennui Device that Nebulon left on a prior trip to Earth and is now using to drain energy from the Avengers and Defenders to beef himself up.

Now, Cap and Beast turn to Nebulon like ‘but buddy, why?’ and also to punch him a little bit, in a friendly manner.

Nebulon: “I did what I had to -- to survive! Believe me -- I truly wanted the friendship you offered -- but observing the unfolding battle, I realized I could never find peace on this or any world -- without the POWER!”

And this rude boy who doesn’t understand what friendship means punches both Cap and Beast.

Beast sprawls right at Supernalia’s feet completely burned out and goes hey feel like stepping in??

Supernalia: “I can do nothing directly, Beast. I am not permitted to interfere!”

Beast: “You... stupid... self-deluding... idiots! Don’t you understand that all this has happened... because you already have... interfered?!?!”

Supernalia: “So I have!”

And since now she’s done the big bad transgress of the Prime Directive, she decides that unlike her shitbird husband, she’s going to do the honorable thing and kill herself.

I. Have no words. At this entire exchange.

Its too much.

Nebulon is distraught so slaps the gun out of her hand and begs her to instead of killing herself, not do that. She could stay on Earth and rule at his side!

This latest bout of cosmic interpersonal drama gives Cap the opportunity to muster his strength and throw his mighty shield.

It deflects the ray emitter of the Ennui Device so it hits Nebulon instead of the Avengerdefenders.

Except, oops, the Ennui Beam was calibrated for “humanoid physio-psycho energies” so instead of draining his energy, the Ennui Beam just straight up starts killing Nebulon.

Amazing how you can stretch vocabulary to encompass humans, Asgardians, mutants, power cosmic imbued Zenn-Lavians, and whatever demonic biz is going on with the Gargoyle.

It sure is amazing how it affects all these different things as intended but its accidentally fatal in a way that will help wrap up the story.

Beast wet noodle jumps to try to redirect the beam and save Nebulon but Supernalia shoves him out of the way and then jumps into the beam herself.

Supernalia: “Thus, I join my husband -- in oblivion!”

Geez, when she sets her mind to killing herself, she sticks with it

.__.

Nebulon agrees that Actually This is the Right and Correct Course for them, I guess because couple counseling is a hassle.

Then the Ennui Device overloads and explodes and Nebulon and Supernalia turn to their true forms of giant weird fish people with Rocky Horror Picture Show lips inside fish lips.

Beast laments that Supernalia didn’t just let him save both of them but she’s like ‘HONORRR’ and then dies.

Thor: “I called Nebulon friend and he decieved me! Yet now -- Thor mourns his passing!”

Silver Surfer: “What manner of beings were they, to cherish honor so much... and value life so little?”

Cap: “Perhaps, Surfer -- not so different from us. Not so different -- at all!”

Okay, shut up your face, Cap.

First off, I don’t think much of an honor code that says its okay to mind control and lie to people and use them as pawns in a way that could kill them but then also goes ‘this is an honorable death’ when you stupid yourself to death.

And neither should you! Don’t put a poetic, poignant spin on things! This whole affair was a weird couples spat that two space weirdos forced you to participate in!

Follow @essential-avengers because I went back and covered an inconsequential annual and now I can’t go back and not do that. I wasted my time for you. Also, like and reblog. I need positive reinforcement. It makes me happy.

#Avengers #Defenders #Nebulon #Supernalia #Thor #Iron Man #Captain America #the Wasp #Beast #Valkyrie #Silver Surfer #Gargoyle #whoever that is #essential marvel liveblogging #essential avengers #this is like when a couple tries to get you to choose sides in a very public fight they're having #its unnecessary and uncomfortable and awkward for everyone

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #365

“i’m numb to the pleasure, but still feel the pain”

Are there palm trees where you live? No. Do you own any Hello Kitty stuff? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Blue raspberry. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not really. I think animal "print" only really looks nice on, well, animals. Does your dad have any facial hair? Yes. What do you think of foot tattoos? They're not my favorite, but some look nice. I myself wanna get "11121" (a Silent Hill 4 reference) "carved" onto the top of my feet. Do you like bugs or do they scare you? Some do. I've gotten more into them though as my passion for tarantulas expanded to other inverts, like mantises. Ever seen the movie Chernobyl Diaries? If so, did you like it? If not, do you want to see it? I haven't, but I'd be willing to watch it. I find the whole Chernobyl incident to be extremely fascinating, so I'd probably like it. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Bitch I wish. :/ Do you have an instagram account? What’s your username? Yeah, two: brittanymphotography and eldritch_obscura. Do you like Gir from Invader Zim? I think he's cute. Do you or would you ever own a gun? Why or why not? No thanks. If I'm not mistaken, I can't legally obtain one anyway because of my suicidal history. I'm fine with having like, pepper spray and a bat handy by the bed, lol. If it was offered for free by a professional, would you get your hair dyed platinum blonde? For FREE? Fuck yeah I'd try it. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? A chocolate frosted donut, and sometimes a plain/cake one. Do you watch football? Favorite teams? No. What about WWE? Favorite wrestler? That's an even bigger no. Funniest thing you’ve ever heard a teacher say? Okay so this is hard to actually explain and it be funny. I had this amazing, kinda charismatically awkward history teacher in high school, and when talking about some legal stuff I can't remember, she deadass quoted "Without Me" by Eminem ("if the FCC won't let me be...") like so casually and everyone fucking died, just from knowing her and her personality. It was just very unexpected. Do you wear a lot of makeup? What do you think of girls who do? No. Girls can wear however much makeup they please. Do you have a savings account? Are you good at saving money? No. I can't really answer the second question because of me never having a steady flow of money. Would you rather have a relationship or casual flings? Relationship, 100%. I would never have a casual fling. Do you know anyone that’s part Native American? Yes. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I remember none of them. Have you ever tried to poison someone? Yikes, no. Have you ever saved anyone from a fire? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I've had sudden spasms, but never a full-on seizure. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? No. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? No. Have you ever had pneumonia? I have not. Have you ever had tubes put in your ears? Yes, as a baby. Have you ever been shot with an arrow or bullet? Thank god no. Have you ever had kidney stones? No. Have you even been bitten by an venomous animal? No. Have you ever thought about being in the military? Fuck no. I wouldn't qualify, anyway. Have you ever been sedated or put under anesthesia? Yeah. Have you ever used shrooms or any other hallucinogen? No. What upcoming event are you most looking forward to? I can barely believe my tat appointment is almost here lakjsd;ajwlej;rwe What was the last song you heard? I'm currently listening to Motionless In White's synthwave edit of "Voices" they just put out. I looooove it. What time did you wake up today? Maybe like, 5:20? Is there a vase in the room you’re in? No. Have you recently been insulted? Yes. Compared to someone else of your age and gender; do you feel that you have a lot to offer someone? N O P E How many days a week do you work? I'm unemployed. Is there ONE person you feel more connected to than others? Yes. What is your worst relationship quality? I obsess over the person probably leaving, so especially at the beginning, I'm paranoid and distrustful. I want to emphasize that I'm not the asshole that snoops through her partner's phone out of distrust, but still, the fear is just there. What was your most recent serious injury? A serious one? Man idk. I've had a lot or negligible and smaller ones, but a big one... *shrug* What were you most recently happy about? I was happy to see "synthwave" in this video title, haha. Are you a fan of cake? Oh yes. What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Is your town beautiful? Ew, no. Do you prefer the city or the country? THE COUNTRY. Have you ever witnessed an eclipse? Lots of lunar eclipses. Do you wear lipstick often? No. You’re going on a date with someone you like. What would you like to do? Considering the pandemic, probably just like... grab fast food and sit and eat at a park. That'd be cute. You’re hanging out with your best friend. What would you like to do? It'd be nice to get back to Avatar: The Last Airbender while hanging out with Doris (her beardie that I adore), too. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. Who is considered the “black sheep” of your family? Why? Ha, me. To begin, I like all the "dark" stuff, I'm the unreligious one, the one with political beliefs unlike most of my family, I'm not doing what I should be... Why is your favorite movie your favorite movie? It's just a masterpiece. I love love love animals, African one especially, and I find it to be an amazing story of courage and dedication to family. Plus I shamelessly love all the songs, haha. What’s an odor you hate? GASOLINE. FUCK. What’s a sound you hate? Fingernails on a chalkboard. Or screech-y noises in general. If money was no issue, what would you like to do right now? I was initially gonna say go to Yellowstone, but fuck that hot weather this time of year. So, this brings us back to Venus' terrarium; I'd want to get a new one and better materials. What’s something you’re so good at that you take pride in your skill? I wouldn't say I'm "so good" at it, but I do take pride in my writing. What’s something you’d never ever dare to ask another person? Hm. Under ANY circumstance, I guess "are you pregnant?" There's almost like... no situation where I'd be comfortable asking somebody that. What’s the worst/best thing you’ve done without your parents knowing? We're not getting into that lmao. Do you know anyone who has a hearing deficit? No. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never stand seeing so many hurt and dying animals and still be okay at the end of the day. Are there any opinions you used to have even a few years ago that you look back on and think, “I can’t believe I ever thought that way”? THERE ARE!!!!!!!!!!! A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last time you cried, what was wrong? I fell and skinned my knees when stepping over this barrier Mom made to keep the damn dog out of the hallway and thus my room to fuck with the cat and eat his food. I previously twisted my ankle, fell backwards, and had one other accident with it despite moving stuff, and I didn't cry from pain, just massive frustration. I want this dog GONE. Do you like multi-choice tests or tests you have to write out? Multiple choice. Who last called you ‘beautiful’? Couldn't tell ya, bud. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yeah, I did that lots as a kid. Do you own any camouflage? No. What’s the stinkiest pet you’ve ever had? Uhhh I dunno. Have you ever been on the news? For what? No. Have you ever seen one of your friends get arrested? No. Do you put sprinkles on anything? No, I hate sprinkles. How do you like your steak? Medium well. Long hair on guys: yes or no? Yaaaaaaaas. Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? It's been a while. What is your favourite type of nut? Cashews, I think. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? I'm so fuckin basic, like my genuine answer is Domino's lmaooo. Did you ever watch The Rugrats when you were a kid? Yeah, I loved that show. I even had the two video games; I was obsessed with the first one in particular. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yes. Do your parents’ professions match their college degrees? No. Do you write shopping lists on paper or just remember it in your head? I don't do the shopping, so. But I would definitely need to write it down. Have you ever used a lawnmower? No. Have you ever consumed so much alcohol that you vomited? No. Can you tie balloons? No, actually. My hands are just too shaky. When was the last time you were at a pet store? A few weeks ago when we got rats for Venus. Ugh, it is SO overpriced; they come in a box of two, and as I feed her twice a month, it's honestly quite a bit of money. Like if I remember correctly, it's around $16. FOR TWO. SMALL. RATS. I've recommended we just buy them in bulk NOT from an overpriced chain pet store, but the problem with that is then we have *too* many, and the nutritional value of frozen rats apparently does degrade with time, so I don't want to feed my snake poor food. So it's just an annoying thing we have to do. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? Not like, an at-home one. I've been tested before surgery, but that was just a safety protocol. Does your ex still think about you? "The" ex, probably not. Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mom. What is the last state you were in besides your own? Virginia. Would you go down to see the Titanic if given the chance? Man, that's kinda tempting. Maybe. It'd be super cool. Have you ever seen the Hollywood sign in real life? No. Did you ever see a scorpion in the wild? No, they don't live here. Do you type the proper way? Have you ever typed on a manual typewriter? Yes to both. What was your maternal grandmother’s first name? Cecelia. Name a word that people use locally that outsiders probably can’t pronounce. Conetoe. You said it wrong.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''voices'' by motionless in white

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choccos-aaart · 4 years

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Learn stuff about the story of April and friends!

>>BASE<<

[SPOILER WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED?!] Also this is a LONG post -Chocco

LAST UPDATE: 13.07.2021

Random Facts Story Meme By ~PhoenixTorque If you're looking for a serious meme, you're in the wrong place! This is meant for original fiction, although it might work for fanfiction as well. It can be done with as many or as few spoilers as you wish, so feel free to skip over a question if you don't want to spoil things for potential readers. So pick a story and get started!

So, what's your story called? Like hell I know! XD It’s gone through multiple changes, but right now I’ve got “Poject: Proclo.” Despite me growing used to it, I’m not very proud of it...

Did you have any early/working titles? Yes! (It’s very embarrassing, though...)

Cloronve Niathea (2016-2017) - I jumbled up a bunch of words just so I could claim a tag

The Cloronia (2018?-2019) - I thought the 2016 one was stupid

Project: Clonerion (2019-2020) - I thought the early 2019 one was stupid.

Project: Proclo (2020-2021?) - I thought the 2020 one fell into this “definitely could have a definition in English which makes no sense in this context” trap

Project: WHAT THE HELL?!

Why did you choose the final title? It’s titled “Steel House in the Prairie”!

Keeping this answer because I thought it was funny: “I didn’t! I don’t even have one that’s confirmed, yet!”

Was it easy or hard to choose a title? It’s pretty damn hard, I’ll tell you that

Who's the protagonist? Some cyborg kid named April

Why are they the protagonist, and not someone else? Well, here’s multiple things that tick off...

Audience knows just as much about the situation she finds herself in as she does

She undergoes major development, especially in relation to the other characters and in regards to the story’s main themes

She goes through situations that miraculously make her do protagonist things

ETC!!! XD

Are they a hero or everyperson? April’s an ambitiousless everyperson that just so happens to know how to fight.

What's their job? April’s only 15! And she hates being seen in the public, anyway! XD

Do they have a sidekick? Best Friend? April does make good friends with Pillia and Matro who technically do become her first best friends/sidekicks in her whole protag/hero journey

Do they have a love interest? Rivals fighting for their affection? A harem that hangs on their every word? Nope!

Is there a secondary protagonist? Who? I wouldn’t say, necessarily.

The main antagonist? Sad man Skatra XD Doc and co. seems like one at first, but it turns out that they’re also on the same side as April, too.

What do they have against the protagonist? Well, Mr Skatra’s got a goal, right? And April’s pretty much getting in the way of that goal. (Duhh!) Also, he and April are thematic opposites (Like hell I’m revealing this out to the public, tho XD) And also, April’s past has done some major damage to Skatra’s past (yeah, I know. Fiction just so happens to have coincidences like these, but c’mon. Fiction is an art.)

Are they a loner, or do they have a second-in-command? Mr Skatra works very closely with his daughter, Eyn!

Villain with good or bad publicity? Skatra’s got no publicity lol! (All seriousness, people are pretty indifferent to him. But that’s because he hasn’t achieved his goal, yet...)

Sure, but who REALLY runs the plot? Let’s face it. Skatra’s practically the reason for everything major in this story.

Who's the most important character not on this list? Why are they important? Doc/Sarlife hasn’t really been in a direct answer to any of these questions yet. They’re important because not only do they make a huge part of Skatra’s first conflicting side to begin with, but they also have their fair share of importance in the themes of the story, too.

Who's the least important character that you pay attention to? Probably Matro. He’s one of April’s friends, yeah, but the most important thing he does in the main storyline so far is just transport our characters XD

What's the most prominent canon ship? Well, I’ve nobody that’s really canon, yet. Unless Eyn’s slight crush on Pillia at the start counts. It’s not really that important. But I feel like I’ll hint it throughout the story. (Good luck on getting her, Eyn! Must hurt when you learn you’re on opposite sides, huh.)

Any other ships? Aside from Eyn’s small crush, there’s no other main characters that are canonically together.

Any noncanon crack!pairings you would read/consider writing? OH BOY. Alright, here’s a list of my bets:

April + Eyn - Everyone loves that good rivals/protag+antag pair. How can you get any better than that? They even start off thinking they’re gonna be great friends at the start (which is actually kinda sad...)

Matro + Farqua - They bicker quite a bit at the start, but they slowly regain their friendship as the story goes on. Classify them as rivals, if you want. And also, Farqua’s the one that works for Skatra, so there’s some good guy/bad guy stuff going on. BONUS: They’re red and blue with some major height difference, as well!!!

Doc + Wyra - These two consider each other pretty close and as close as they are, you’ll find Wyra teasing Doc a bit, too. That’s usually a joy to watch. They’re also your typical brawn + brains duo. Also, there’s the serious business + ball of energy there. I think this one’s sweet.

April + Pillia - Pillia’s probably April’s strongest relationship out of everyone in the story. She practically becomes April’s sidekick. Pillia’s good at turning trash into treasure, which means she can turn April into something great, too.

Matro + Doc - I’ve made sure that it looks as if they’ve been friends for ages. Matro even gets really upset after learning that Doc’s gone totally nuts. When Doc does end up joining forces with team April, Matro’s obviously got mixed feelings on the situation (considering what Doc’s done), but still wants to maintain their friendship as much as possible.

Doc + Skatra - Here are two of April’s main antagonists, so that’s a start. Also, despite being on opposing sides of the situation, Doc doesn’t necessarily see Skatra as an enemy, they see him as someone who needs help. Although trying to stop Skatra, Doc’s trying to find the best possible way out of the situation for this guy. This probably the more angstier ones, of the bunch.

Pillia + Ida - I’ve stated early in the script that these two are close friends. I haven’t had a phase yet where I’ve developed them as much as the others, but they’re the ones that are left, so I’m expecting some, soon. I’m probably gonna base some of their interaction off of Lister and Kryten from Red Dwarf, especially >>This Scene<<

Sorry, Eyn, Skatra, Ida, and Wyra, you’re all lonely as hell XD (don’t worry, I’m aroace XD)

Who is your favorite character to write? Tough one between Matro and Farqua.

Who is your least favorite character to write? Not that I’ve got a least favourite to write, but as of now, I’ve worked with Ida the least out of the main cast. (Sorry! I’ll get to you soon, I promise!!!)

Which character is the most cooperative? Ida, probably. She’s actually the most bored.

Which character is the least friendly? Doc, no matter how much they try to be.

Which character would you most want to meet in a bar? Matro seems the most fun to get drunk with! With his guitar, especially.

Which character would you least want to meet in a dark alleyway? Eyn. Especially in her Axel Duiti outfit!

How many characters are there total? I’m not counting. But, there are three main focus characters, and six other secondary characters!

How many are allied with the heroes? Out of the main characters, it starts off with three, then six, then seven.

How many are allied with the villains? Out of the main, it starts off seeming to be six, in actuality is three, then just two.

How many hate both of them? Oh... Uh... IDK I’ll write that later XD (Well, the situation’s trying to be as private as possible)

How many refuse to pick a side? Ida seems to have the most side struggles out of everyone. Farqua’s unwillingly pulled apart in all directions, too.

How large is the core cast (in 80-90% of the scenes)? Dunno excactly how to calculate much XD Let’s hope it’s a decent number.

Be honest—how many characters are actually important? Let’s hope all nine of them do something!

When does the story take place? Likely far future (probably not in this universe, though!)

Where does it take place? Lightyears away from Earth, in the Piarosar system

Would you want to live there? If it weren’t for the war, then yeah. Seems pretty cool.

Does your story end in the same place it starts? This part of the story, yes. I plan for it to be part of a bigger story.

What/whose POV is the story told from? It’s in script form! Well, mostly from April’s point of view.

If not omniscient, whose thoughts would have the most spoilers? Skatra and Doc’s!

What genre is your story? Sci-fi, action, & adventure (despite being set inside a building. Well, it’s a massive one, though...)

Where in a library would you file it? Sci-fi. Duhh.

What format are you writing it in? Script! (For a comic)

What format do you wish you could write it in? Still script! For an animated series!

Would you be for or against a movie? It’s better suited for a series. But hell yeah, that’d be cool.

Indie flick or multi-million blockbuster? An indie project. Don’t want it too big, you know...

Write a nice, long description about the story: (Done that) “April is a cyborg kid who finds a large, mysterious building when she gets lost in a prairie. She learns that the main entrance of the place is totally out of the question, so she tries finding her way in from above. Too bad that she can't get out from where she came from, and now she's forced to find another way out.

April then later discovers that inside the building is a community of robots and different races of creatures. Some even decide to help her on her little journey outside the building in the safest way possible. Unfortunately, it also turns out that some couple randos' got some sort of weird deal with April and they clearly don't like her.

Even worse, It also turns out that the building has problems of its own. Robots are disappearing from their homeplaces and so are some of the rest of the people. If this keeps up, soon nobody will be there to keep to the building and its people. And when April finds out what exactly's been going on, there lies the chance that maybe she could do a large part in preventing a major catastrophe that'll take place if nothing's done. And get this. It's not just the building that gets it. Good thing April's not that big a scumbag to not do anything about it.”

That sounds interesting, but can you cut it to under 200 words for the back cover? A sci-fi about a cyborg kid who gets stuck inside a mysterious, giant building after getting lost far outside the city. Upon her arrival in the building, it turns out that her goal isn't just to escape and make her way back home, but to also somehow prevent a huge catastrophe that awaits if she doesn't do anything. Good thing she isn't that big a scumbag.

Quick! Write a 200-character-or-less (with spaces) teaser (think ff.net)! Now give us a catchy tagline for promotional material! A cyborg kid gets stuck inside a mysterious, giant building in the middle of nowhere. Turns out that her goal isn't just to escape, but to also prevent some huge catastrophe from happening.

Is there magic? Maybe? (Really depends what characters I introduce and where they’re fro) Time travel? In a way, this happens. Psychic powers? Nop. Talking animals? No. If I count the aliens, that’s kinda insensitive lol! Pajamas? Not exactly? Different dimensions/realms? Not necessarily. More like they explore our reality. Aliens? Yes! High school? Our protag’s in year 9? Poison? Sorta Dragons? No... Cake? Not many of the main cast can actually eat XD Large guns? O.O?!!!!! Children? Yeah, that’s like almost half the main cast Ninjas? Nope XD Large cities? Not really Advanced science? Yep! Teenagers? Yep! War? In the background, but I might explore this some more in future... Faeries? Nope... Corrupt government? I guess???????? Romance? Nope! XD Witches or Wizards? Nop Spaceships? Maybeeeee Fanservice? In a sense where it means “thing that isn’t necessary for the story, but just to make fans happy”, probably when the alternate versions of the characters pay a visit Ridiculously long names? Hm....... IDK An old, wise mentor? Not in that sense... Swords? Uhh... No??? Internet? Yeah, Housewives? No I guess lol Conspiracies? ??? Overprotective parents? WEll, sorta I guess Revolutions? I don’t recall that idea coming :P Scented soap? I WISH Stuff blowing up? YEHA Monkeys? Idk? Not here?? A happy ending? YeaH?!?!??? Sorta. How much of the story have you finished? More planning than actual writing tbh

How much of the storyline have you decided on? A lot of the skeleton, now just the actual in betweens

About how long is it? Pretty long. IIt;s actually a part of a bigger thing.

How long is it in-story from beginning to end (flashbacks don't count)? LONG>

Do you ever think it will be finished? YES> DON’T DOUBT ME Anything else you'd like to add? I’m good!

#Chocco's OCs #Project: Proclo #Chocco's info dumps #Chocco does memes #Chocco's writing #Cloronve Niathea

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emeraldwaves · 5 years

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Title: Three Small Words Pairing: Huwumi Rating: E NSFW Word Count: 3,277 Read on Ao3 Summary:

Hawks wants to treat Fuyumi like a princess on her birthday.

For Fuyumi’s birthday! <3

Rocking back and forth on his feet, Hawks' eyes flicked over to the clock on the wall.

Right. He should be listening. Listening was unfortunately part of his job, especially when the board was telling him... something. It was probably important. From the look on the president's face, it was definitely important.

He just didn’t have the patience for this. Especially when he had somewhere he had to be. He couldn't listen to them drone on and on, talking so damn slow...

"Hawks? Are you listening?"

He blinked, completely taken off guard. He hadn't expected them to address him anytime soon. Swallowing, he ran his hand through his hair. "I am... I am, I promise, I just, uh..."

"You see? This is the problem with these young heroes-" One man began to say and Hawks rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I gotta get going," he said stepping back, his wings fluttering behind him.

"Of course he does," said another man, rolling his eyes.

"We can talk about this more tomorrow when the official reports come in," he said, lifting himself off the ground. His eyes glanced toward the clock again, staring at the wall. In just a few moments she would be free, which meant he had to be at her school...

"Hawks-"

"Right, yeah, tomorrow then! Gotta go!" he said, saluting his hand in their direction as he zoomed out of the office toward the elevator, ignoring the groans of the boring older men.

He rolled his eyes, flicking his goggles down on his face. He didn't have time to wait around for them, not when his girl would be waiting on her special day.

He flew made his way onto the elevator, waiting to hit the ground floor. He wished he could've just flown out a damn window, but he made his way out the front door like a proper, boring human being.

But the second he was on the sidewalk, he shot into the air.

Her school wasn't very far. Flying there would take him no time at all.

He flapped his wings, propelling himself forward as he made his way to her school. The bells had begun to chime to signal the end of the school day and Hawks watched the kids file out of the building. Good. A smirk pulled across his lips. Soon he would have her all to himself.

He landed on the ground, his wings folding behind him, as he stood up straight, moving his goggles.

"Hawks! Woah! It's Hawks!" A little boy gasped, pointing up at him, which of course, led to a rush of children coming right towards him. Being the number two hero had its perks of course, but getting places on time was apparently not one of them.

"Hey guys!" he waved, stepping away from the hoard of swarming children. "It's cool to see you guys, but I gotta be somewhere and it's really important."

One of the boys gasped. "A secret mission!" He quickly covered his mouth, as if saying anymore would reveal a deep dark secret.

"Exactly!" Hawks said, holding his finger up to his lips. "It's a stealth mission. I can't let anyone know I'm here."

"Well," one girl scoffed, folding her arms across her chest. "You're not doing a very good job of hiding. Anyone can see you out here on the main street!"

"True..."

He knew it was bad if he was being outsmarted by a five year old.

"Hawks?"

He froze, recognizing her voice anywhere. It was so soft, smooth, and gentle. It held a hint of surprise, though he could tell there was a smile on her lips, despite not looking at her.

Slowly, he turned around, to face the woman of the hour. Or well, day, really.

Todoroki Fuyumi was perfect, standing on the steps of the school in her highly professional teacher’s outfit; long pants, with a blue striped button up and blazer, her hair was straightened, resting just below her shoulders. She looked more professional than Hawks ever had in his whole damn life.

Her turquoise eyes glistened with excitement and Hawks had to resist the desire to sweep her off her feet right there.

He couldn't help it; he loved her. He wasn't supposed to. It wasn't smart to, but his heart wouldn't listen to his mind.

"What... are you doing here?" she asked. She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. It was a tick, a mixture of nervousness and excitement, a movement Hawks was rather familiar with.

"I came to take you home. It's my... secret mission."

"Ooo!" One of the boys said. "Do you think Hawks is in love with Todoroki-sensei?!"

Well he hadn't exactly said that yet... but...

"Children..." Fuyumi began, her cheeks almost as red as the small pieces in her hair.

"He's gotta be! Why else would he be here on her birthday?!"

"Guys, don't blow my cover," Hawks said, winking to the two small boys.

One of them gasped. "I knew it!" he whispered to his friend.

"S-School is over!" Fuyumi said, waving her hands quickly. "That means it's time for you boys to go home, okay?!"

"Ugh no fun!" one of them whined.

"I need you guys out of harm's way while I complete my secret mission!" Hawks said, gently patting the tops of their heads.

"Fine," the other boy said. "We don't wanna bug you, number 2!" He saluted as though he were being helpful.

Like most of the other students, they began to run off, laughing as they went down the street.

Fuyumi let out a long sigh. "I know I shouldn't be so worried but-"

Rolling his eyes, Hawks wrapped his fingers around hers, bringing them to his lips. "You got me, there's nothing to worry about."

She snorted. "Careful, this is a very public space."

He sighed, lowering her hand. "I know, I know. I just... I don't like hiding you and it's your birthday."

"I know you don't... wait..." she paused. "You remembered?" she asked quietly.

"Why would I ever forget?" Based on things he knew of her past, there was a part of him that wasn’t surprised she asked… but still…

"I-I dunno..." she said, a look of sadness crossing her eyes. He couldn’t have that. Not on her birthday.

"C'mon," he chuckled, scooping under her legs to carry her bridal style into the air.

"Hawks... what are you doing?!" She let out a scream, and immediately wrapped her arms around his neck. "Keigo!" she scolded gently, leaning in towards his ear so she wouldn't have to look down.

"I've got you," he whispered, and if he had things his way, he would never let her go. He knew she didn't care for flying, but it was the fastest way to get to his penthouse.

She gasped, clinging to him hard as he flew upwards to the taller buildings in the city. He smirked, knowing he should fly her around more often if this was the outcome; her snuggled close to him. He was so greedy when it came to her; being close to her like this was all he wanted. She smelled like frozen roses, and he wanted to cling to her and take in her scent completely.

He landed on the balcony deck outside of his penthouse on the top floor of the high rise. He loved being as high up as he possibly could, away from the people, close to the sky. Plus it was easy access for him to leave and enter.

Slowly lowering her trembling form down, she kept her hand pressed against his upper back. "I don't know if I'll ever be used to that," she whispered, staying close to him.

"It's alright. I'll always be here to hold you," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her forehead pressed against his and he clung to her, keeping his grip on her hips. With the backdrop of the city behind them, he leaned in to kiss her, the cool wind blowing around them. "Happy birthday," he whispered, nipping gently at her lower lip.

He was falling quickly into her trap, just like he always did when she was nearby and they were alone. It was impossible not to kiss her.

"I honestly can't believe you remembered."

"Heh," he smirked, looking rather proud of himself. "Of course I did, I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

He wanted to spoil her; treat her like a princess... do whatever it took to make her feel special.

She shivered, pressing close to him. "You know, I left my jacket at the school."

"We'll get it later," he chuckled. "C'mon, let's warm you up." He wrapped his hand around hers as he pulled her toward the door.

"Oh?" she smirked, pulling her teeth across her lower lip.

Oh. Oh. He had meant food, but... that would do just fine too.

He slid the door open, yanking her inside as he slid it shut behind them, tilting her chin up to look at him as he walked her back to push her against the sliding door.

"Is this... not what you meant?" she asked, running her fingers up his jaw. Her fingers were icy cold as always, causing him to shiver.

"Well," he said, pecking his lips against hers as he began to tug her toward his bedroom. "I was going to save the birthday sex for later, but we can skip a few steps."

She chucked, pressing their lips together. "I wouldn't mind."

"Good," he said, between kisses. "Me neither. If you're good we can do it… multiple times..."

"Oh?" she giggled softly. "Lucky me." He led her to the bed, pushing the blazer off of her shoulders and onto the ground. His own jacket was tossed aside, the backless tank top unzipped and dropped to the ground. He let his wings spread out behind him, stretching up as he leaned down to kiss her again.

Walking backwards, she let herself sink down onto the bed, still pecking his lips as she did, scooting backward to the pillows. Her white lacy bra was all that covered her breasts now, and Hawks was eager to touch her. He sank onto the bed too, crawling toward her.

He started at her jaw and gently kissed downward, trailing small butterfly kisses over her soft neck. Her breath hitched, her head tilting backward as she let her hands stroke through his hair. He suckled on her neck, lapping at her skin, though he knew better than to leave a mark there... as much as he wanted to.

Sliding his hands up the gentle curve of her stomach, her stopped at her bra, slipping his fingers underneath to grope and fondle at her perfect round breasts. His fingers tweaked her nipples and she gasped. "Ah..." she breathed out softly. "K-Keigo..."

There it was... his name; something private. Only for her lips to say when they were alone and intimate like this.

"'Yumi..." he muttered, his body shivering when her fingers traced over the sensitive area where his wings met his back. It was so hard not to whispers the words to her; he so desperately wanted to say them.

Instead he focused on her, making her feel good. It was her birthday after all. He pushed up her bra, lowering himself down to her breasts as he wrapped his lips around her nipple. He hollowed out his cheeks and sucked hard, swirling his tongue around her hardened bud. He swapped to the other, flicking his tongue rapidly over her hard nipple, his fingers rolling over the other wet bud.

"Ngh… Keigo!" she whimpered, her hips twitching up towards him. Her breasts had always been so sensitive; an easy way to get her excited. He slipped his hand down to her pants, flicking the button open as he reached into her panties, brushing a finger against her already throbbing clit. She was wet... and he smirked, still rolling his tongue over her swollen nipple.

He pulled back, hooking his thumbs around her pants. "Let's get these off," he muttered, yanking them down to reveal her matching white, lacy panties.

"Yeah," she nodded, wiggling her hips to help him remove the clothes faster, kicking them off the bed. She was so fast when she wanted to be and Hawks adored that, especially in moments like this, when he needed her.

He leaned down, sliding his hands up her thighs, pulling her hips down, so he could get closer. "Mm," he hummed, letting his tongue press against her clit.

"F… F… ah...! Keigo!" she gasped, pulling a sharp breath of air into her mouth. She immediately gripped at his hair.

"Take what you need," he purred, gently pressing a finger inside of her. Her hips immediately responded, rocking towards his digit and his mouth. He licked harder, slurping at her sensitive nub.

"But I..." she moaned, letting her head fall back against his pillows, her chest heaving as he rapidly sucked at her clit, rolling his tongue against her.

"What?" he breathed, pulling back for a moment as he added a second finger inside of her. "It's your birthday. I want you to cum as many times as you want."

She panted, swallowing as she nodded. "I-I'm close..."

"I can tell," he said, licking down her thin walls, bringing his lips back to her clit as he fucked his fingers into her hard, pumping in and out as fast as he could. He felt her walls clenching around him. He moaned against her, the vibrations making her tremble even harder.

"Ah.. Ngh... Keigo. I... I... I'm cumming..." she breathed out, spreading her legs wide as she clenched and released, her slick rolling onto his fingers as her walls throbbed around him.

"That's it," he muttered, rubbing rapidly at her clit with his thumb as her orgasm rolled through her body and down each vertebrae of her spine. Her toes curled, her legs spread so wide for him as her walls sucked in his fingers and rolled against them.

She panted heavily, covering her eyes momentarily as she tried to catch her breath.

"Good," he smirked, pulling his fingers from her and licking them.

"Please, Keigo... I want to be... I need to feel you."

"Yeah..." he muttered, leaning over to grab a condom and some lube. He shoved his pants and leggings off, removing his underwear too. His cock was so damn hard in his pants, a small wet stain was left on top of his underwear, his body desperate to be connected to her.

He ripped the condom opened and rolled it down over his cock, rubbing the lube up and down his length.

Fuyumi smiled, adjusting herself. "What a good birthday this is."

"I want it to be even better," he smirked, hovering over her as he lined himself up to her entrance. His wings stretching out behind him, fluttering as he entered her. She wrapped her arms around Hawks' neck, her head falling back against the pillow. He buried himself in her completely, letting his nose drop to her neck.

"Dammit you're really warm..." He sometimes forgot how hot she always was, how tight... she squeezed him, every ridge of her wall hitting the length of his cock in the most pleasurable of ways.

"I can cool you down," she teased, letting ice coat her fingers, the touch cool on his back, ice prickling over his skin and lower feathers.

Hissing, his cock jumped inside of her, his mouth dropping as a large moan escaped his throat. "Shit..." he grunted. "Don't make me cum before you," he said.

"It's okay," she said. "I liked watching your reaction."

She pulled him down for a kiss as he began to move. Usually he liked to go fast, changing up the tempo and pace of his hips, but tonight he enjoyed moving slow. He pushed deep inside of her, feeling her wet ridges hit at the edge of his cock, the tip moving inside, against her tighter parts.

"Hah... hah... Fuyumi..." he panted, his hips starting to quicken, despite how slow he had set the pace.

"Keigo... faster," she pleaded and who was he to argue with his birthday girl. His hips slammed into her quicker and he loved the way her legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer and push him deeper. "Ngh.. yes.." she breathed out, her breasts bouncing against her chest with each thrust inside of her.

She looked euphoric and beautiful; head tilted back, mouth open, eyes fluttering... such a gorgeous image. There was no way he would be able to hold back. He pumped into her faster, fucking into her with the speed she begged for.

They both moaned, the sounds echoing loud in his large room. He wanted to make her feel even more... Hawks reached down, rubbing at her clit when he moved faster. He knew she would react to it and he felt her clench around him... just enough to bring him to an edge.

"Fuyumi... I-I'm..."

"Me too... C-Close!" she whimpered, humping her hips up toward his hand and cock. With some heavy breathing, he felt her clench again, a gush of her release rushing onto his cock. "Keigo!" she gasped. Her eyes shot open as her second orgasm rushed through her.

"F-Fuyumi!" he hissed, leaning down to kiss her as his own finish poured into the condom. His wings fluttered behind him, his feathers spreading out wide as his body trembled above her.

Fuyumi laughed softly, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pulled him in for another kiss. "That was quite the birthday present."

"It wasn't even everything," Hawks said, smiling as he looked down at her.

Cupping his cheeks, she brushed her fingers over his skin. "I'm such a lucky girl."

She was wrong though. He was the lucky one; Fuyumi was far too good for him, far too kind. She deserved better and Hawks didn't deserve this much good in his life. He wanted to tell her and say it. Three small words; it wasn’t a big deal...

No. He shouldn't.

Sweat trickled down her forehead, her cheeks were red, flushed completely, but she looked so stunning, so happy.

He shouldn't. He knew he shouldn't.

She was his ice princess, cold and glistening with beauty, yet filled to the brim with a warm compassion Hawks had never experienced.

He shouldn't but...

"I love you," he whispered, unable to stop the words as they slipped from his lips. His golden eyes stared down at her as he handed her his heart. She was gentle, he knew he could trust her.

"What?" she breathed out, panting as she stared up at him. Her soft hands cupped at his cheeks, sliding one over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I..."

"Why are you apologizing?" she said, a small laugh slipping from her lips. She stared up at him, eyes half-lidded, her thumb lightly gliding over his cheek. "Admittedly... I heard what you said, I just wanted to hear it again..."

This woman... playful and devilish, and yet a perfect angel, all at once.

"I love you, Todoroki Fuyumi,” he repeated, no longer holding the words back.

"I love you too, Takami Keigo," she said softly, almost breathless as she pulled him down to kiss him.

"Happy birthday," he whispered, kissing her once again.

"I couldn't have asked for anything better," she laughed softly.

"I still want to make you dinner," he said, nuzzling his nose against hers.

"Well, maybe we can make it together," she smiled.

"That sounds perfect," he whispered.

Anything they did together, would always be absolutely perfect.

#huwumi #takami keigo #hawks #todoroki fuyumi #bnha

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dwaynepride · 5 years

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It Will Rain

Summary: Pride can’t wait anymore. If he doesn’t spill his guts, he may lose you forever.

Words: 3,602

Warnings: None

Tags: @6adb0y @thegoodlonelydalek @consultingdoctorwholock @pageofultron @stanathanxoox @starryrevelations @thebeckyjolene @diaryofafan17 @specialagentlokitty

Notes: title comes from this song and while this fic isn’t based off of it, i think it really fits uwuwu

The sky is turning dark red as Pride stands in the courtyard, watching the NOPD officers take his suspect to holding. He regrets sending him off to a cell for the night without getting much out during interrogation. While Pride knows damn well that this investigation is far from over, he hates sees that smug smile of a man being taken away from federal custody.

For now, at least.

He gives a cross huff, head shaking while Pride turns and makes his way toward the kitchen. There’s not much they could do tonight. It’s basically a waiting game of Sebastian finding some forensic evidence, or maybe they can get a witness to talk. Some kind of leverage to coerce a confession.

But waiting was harder than the case itself. Pride thought himself a patient man, but waiting around for results and testimonies was one of his least-favourite parts of the process.

Pride is still stuck in his own head as he enters the kitchen, finding it difficult to put the case behind him for the night. Maybe he’ll go to the bar and work on something that isn’t a murder. Or take Loretta up on her offer of having dinner with her and the boys. Or maybe...

“Hey, Pride!”

His attention snaps back to reality instantly, eyes rising to the source of the greeting. Pride genuinely thought he was the only one here. He heard something about Christopher and Gregorio going out for the night, and just assumed you were going with them. And yet, here you are, in his kitchen with a fresh cup of coffee.

Even though it’s really getting late. “Hey,” he greets lightly, hands in his pockets as he approaches. “What’re you still doing here? I thought you’d be out with the others.”

You just give him a shrug, looking down to mix some sugar in the coffee. “I was gonna, but there’s a couple things I wanted to do tonight. Get a headstart for tomorrow, you know?”

Pride gives a light amused huff as he finally reaches you. “You’d rather be hangin’ around here instead of out having fun?” He asks, a teasing tone edging his voice. And it makes you smile. Pride couldn’t even remember being frustrated about the interrogation.

“Who says I can’t have fun with you?” Your eyes raise, meeting his, reflecting each others smiles. As if the whole day hasn’t been slow and aggravating and maybe there can be a good ending to it. Pride was suddenly glad that you decided to stick around; he needed a good dose of peace that came with being alone with you.

His head dips in concession, as if he would ever argue against your wishes. “Alright, well, at least lemme make you something. I’m sure you haven’t eaten much today,” Pride says, skirting around you to the fridge. There wasn’t too much here, unfortunately. He can probably whip up some sandwiches.

“You don’t have to, Pride. Coffee’s fine-”

“Nope, I don’t wanna hear it. You’ll work better with some food in you.”

You sigh. You glare at him. But eventually, you dip your head and slide into one of the bar stools, clutching the cup of coffee. And Pride sets off to prepare your food. As if your presence wasn’t calming enough, just being able to slow down and work in his kitchen is just what he needed. Preparing some food, even if it is as simple as a couple sandwiches.

As peaceful as the moment is, Pride can’t shake off a certain feeling of tenseness. Like a rubber band pulled taut. He knows some of it is due to your staring at him in silence, finger tapping against your mug. Pride can feel your eyes on him, and it makes his heart beat just a little faster. But the tense air has always been there, lingering in the background when you and him had time alone, like this. Or even when the others are around. As if there’s something he should be doing, and you’re both aware that he’s not.

Pride clears his throat involuntarily, trying to pull his focus away from his own churning thoughts. They’re gonna ruin this precious little moment. “Ya know, after this case is over, I really think you outta go out. Have some fun with the others,” Pride speaks up, his eyes darting up to yours. “You deserve it.”

You blink at him. Give a little smile than forces him to reflect one of his own. “I might. If you come with us.”

“Come with you?”

“Yeah! You usually like music and drinks and hanging out.”

Pride lets out a shy little scoff, shrugging his shoulders: at the bar, sure. But he can’t remember the last time he actually went out for the fun of it. “I dunno. I think you’d have more fun with Christopher and the others,” Pride replies. Did he sound self-deprecating? That wasn’t his intention.

You didn’t seem to think so. In fact, you didn’t look at all bothered by the light rejection. “Alright, maybe we could go out,” you offer. Instantly, his blood cools, and Pride’s head jerks up in surprise.

Go out?

His reaction causes you to backpedal, eyes averting in embarrassment. “I meant, you know, to the bar. Just for some drinks or something. You deserve some time off, as well.”

Even though you changed your tune - the words technically meaning it would be two friends getting some drinks together - Pride had a feeling that it wasn’t so black and white. He’d be foolish to pretend he hasn’t put serious thought into whether he should risk crossing the line with you. Dating a fellow agent: it was messy stuff, and honestly, Pride was more afraid of ruining a friendship than he was about whatever protocols you two would surely break.

But that didn’t stop him from wanting to. Didn’t stop you from wanting him to take the first step.

Pride scares himself with how close he is to saying yes.

Instead, his eyes fall down to the sandwiches, finishing them up by topping them with a slice of bread. “Uh, food’s done,” he says. Pride hates to ignore the topic, like he did. To completely sweep it under the rug; he was the type to face things head on. But was this the right time to do that?

He hears you stand from the stool, and Pride assumes you’re coming to get the sandwich. Maybe the two of you can still have this time alone at the office. It’ll be like it always is.

Instead, you back up toward the archway of the kitchen. And when Pride looks back up, your eyes are down. Shoulders slouched. His gut is instantly tight at the look on your face. “Actually, uh, I’m kinda tired. I think I should head home.”

Pride can’t help but frown. “Head home. You sure?” He asks, coming around the island to get closer.

But you’re careful to keep your distance. Smiling tightly to try and play off the hurt you’re surely feeling. The hurt he caused. “Yeah, I actually have to get up early in the morning. There’s something I have to do before coming in.”

You say nothing more after that. Pride watches silently from the archway as you grab your coat and head out the door. His stomach is now too tight to even think about eating. And he reckons sleep won’t come easy; he’ll be replaying this encounter over and over in his head, scolding himself, but for what? Being cold? Or cowardly?

Either way, Pride hates himself for hurting you. And goes about cleaning up the kitchen with a heavy heart.

The next day was about as chaotic as Pride predicted it would be. True to your word, you didn’t show up until a little later in the day before getting caught up in the case. Pride could only recall speaking to you once, and that was over the phone.

As much as the distance was making the day no better, he supposed it’s for the best. What if he said something else to hurt your feelings? Or maybe you just didn’t want to see him? That second possibility hurt to think about - he knows you probably wanted more out of last night. Hell, he wanted it, too.

Pride runs his fingers through his hair with a harsh sigh, squinting his eyes down at the papers strewn out across his desk.

Now just wasn’t the time to be jumping into relationships - that’s all.

Commotion from the door has Pride lifting his gaze from the papers. Sebastian and Gregorio came walking through with slackened shoulders and dragging feet; it’s been a long day. He can tell they were ready to go home. “Any luck with eye witnesses?” Pride asks, though he probably already knows the answer.

“No,” Tammy answers with a flat voice. “We walked about a dozen blocks, asking people if they saw our victim around the area in the last month. Nobody saw nothin’.”

“Or they have, and they’re just not telling us,” Sebastian cuts in, collapsing into his chair. “Either way, we have squat.”

Pride sighs again, reclining back in his chair and rubbing his heavy eyes. “I shoulda called Chris and Y/N. Sent ‘em your way for some help,” he says.

Tammy’s already saddling up her things, but she looks up at the mention of your name. A small little huff comes from her chest. “It’s no big deal, Pride. Besides, if Y/N takes that job offer, we’ll have to get used to being a man down.”

Job offer?

The words send ice into Pride’s spine. He thinks for a moment that maybe he heard her wrong. Maybe he’s just tired and read something in the files about a job offer. But even Pride knows that explanation doesn’t stand; he knows he heard Gregorio right. And suddenly, all the fatigue in his body is gone as he stands at his desk, leaning closer towards Tammy. “Job offer?” He echoes.

She’s quiet for a moment. Looks over to Sebastian, and when Pride does the same, he finds that the forensic agent has his eyes averted to his computer screen to avoid the stare. So Pride looks back to Tammy, his stomach growing tight with a desperate need to know. “What job offer, Gregorio?”

“I thought they told you. I mean, the rest of us knew, so-”

“Well, tell me now.”

Tammy’s arms fall to her sides, looking exasperated. “The thing that kept them busy this morning? It was an interview with the FBI. Something about a position that opened up. Y/N’s been getting calls, and I guess they went to hear what they had to say.”

The floor was suddenly swaying under Pride’s feet. Has he really been so blind that you went for a job interview and he didn’t know? He was usually on top of things, like this. He knew before anybody else did. And yet, this somehow flew under his radar.

He swallows, feeling a little sick before tilting his head at Gregorio. “Are they takin’ the job?”

“I don’t know.”

Good. That’s good. Pride still had time to talk to you. To be honest.

He’s grabbing his phone and keys and marching out the door before either of his agents can say anything more. Pride needed to get to your house as quickly as possible. It was late, sure. You might not appreciate him knocking on your door after a hard day, but he knew in his gut that this couldn’t wait until morning.

Pride tries his hardest to focus on driving, but his thoughts drift to you. More specifically, all the perfect moments over these last few months when he could’ve said something about the way he felt. Back then, it always felt necessary to ignore it. There was plenty of time, he’d tell himself. Soon. He’d tell you soon. When the time was right.

Evidently, Pride waited too long for the perfect moment. Whether he liked it or not, it was now or never.

His car screeches to a stop in front of your place. The lights are off, and had it not been for your car in the driveway, Pride would’ve been afraid that you weren’t even home. So, quick as he can, he turns the car off and jumps out, making his way to your front door.

His chest is impossibly tight, making it hard to breathe as he stops in front of the door. For a brief moment, Pride is tempted to just turn around and walk back to his car. Would it really be fair of him to dump this on you in the midst of an important decision? How much would it influence which job to choose?

Pride’s fist bangs on the door - hard, in case you’re asleep.

No, he knew you felt something for him, too. If he wasn’t honest tonight, he’ll regret not giving you that choice.

There’s no answer, so Pride knocks again. It feels like time stretches on for much longer than it really is. As the seconds tick by, the growing pit of dread in his stomach grows and grows. Maybe you weren’t even home. Or maybe you’re just not answering, knowing it’s him and not wanting to speak him.

The thought makes Pride turn away from your front door. And he takes a couple steps away before finally hearing the locks flip. When he looks back, you’re peering out through the crack in the door with blurry eyes. “Pride?” You ask in a groggy voice.

You open the door wider, and he can see you’ve changed into loose-fitting pajamas. Messy hair and slow movements - you were obviously sleeping. And even though Pride felt a bit of guilt at disturbing you, he was beyond pleased that you were answering the door. Talking to him. “Uh, hey. Sorry for wakin’ you up,” he replies, coming back to his previous spot.

Your head shakes, watching his hand fit into his pockets. Watching the way his eyes don’t truly meet yours; something was up. “It’s okay. Is something wrong?”

“No, no, everything’s fine.” Dwayne stops himself, shaking his head vehemently as he backpedals. “Actually, no. Everything’s not fine. I heard about your interview with the FBI.” Once the words are out, your own eyes fall away from his. So Pride tilts his head to reestablish contact. “When were you gonna tell me?”

“I wasn’t,” you answer, and then sigh. “At least, not until I figured out what I was gonna do.”

Pride understands your reasoning; he really did. But that doesn��t stop him from leaning forward, needing more of an explanation. “Don’t you think this is something you shoulda shared with me?” He asks, fighting to keep a desperate tone from entering his voice.

Your eyes immediately return to his at the question. “Why?”

He almost says it. Blurts out the three impossibly-heavy words that’s been hanging like an anvil over his head since Gregorio told him about your interview. But at the last moment, Pride backpedals and straightens up. “I’m your boss,” he says, as if that was the problem.

Something twists in his gut when your face hardens up. Pride can basically feel the walls going up - you suddenly felt a million miles away from him. “Well, I didn’t know I needed your permission to go for interviews.” Your voice is much harsher than it was before, and it causes Pride’s eyes to fall to the ground. “And I haven’t even decided if I’m taking it, so-”

“I don’t think you should.”

Did he just say that out loud? Geez, it’s not like this was his decision. Like he had any stake at all in your career. For all he knows, the FBI would be good for you. Pride can imagine the prestige that’ll come with an NCIS agent who was asked to join.

But the thought of you leaving and never coming back scared the hell out of him. Left a yawning pit in his stomach.

Your arms cross at his words, still looking stern. “Why not?” You ask.

This was Pride’s chance; he saw that clearly now. No more being afraid of crossing lines or ruining a friendship. Not when he could lose you. Pride sucks in a deep breath because he realizes he hasn’t been breathing. “Because that’d mean you won’t be here. With me. And I really don’t want you to go. I know I’ve been cowardly and never said a damn thing, but...”

The words get stuck in his throat. Pride watches you take a step closer, eyes focused solely on him. Your expression is no longer angry or defensive. It’s more like you’re....searching. Waiting for him to say the right thing that’ll get you to stay. And Pride knows what it is.

“I love you. Please don’t go.”

It’s done. It’s out now. After months of burying it and ignoring it, Pride lets his feelings see the light of day. He knows he should feel relieved; he never enjoys keeping his emotions underwrap. But right now, it’s almost as if Pride’s heart has stopped beating.

At least until your searching gaze lights up, and you smile at him. Bright and warm and almost-painfully jumpstarts his heart but he can’t even feel it past the hot rush of joy. Dwayne mimics the smile before you’re suddenly on him, arms wrapped around his shoulders and squeezing tightly. He instantly circles his own arms around your midsection.

Sure, you both have hugged before. You were close friends, and Pride was an affectionate guy. Touches weren’t out of the question. But this hug was miles ahead every other hug you’ve shared. Because Dwayne didn’t have to stop himself from spreading his fingers out across your back. Didn’t have to fight back the urge to push his face into the crevice of your neck.

So he does just that, and then sighs when he feels your fingers play with the hair at the base of his skull. “I love you, too,” you mumble out, right next to his ear.

The words warm Dwayne more than he could ever possibly think they would. So he grins into your neck, not even bothering to pull away to ask his next question. “So you won’t go?”

The vibrations of his voice in your neck make you laugh. And when you try to pull away to look at him, Dwayne instinctively pulls you closer. Like he was afraid you’d suddenly run away. Or worse; say you were taking the job.

You finally pull back enough to look him in the eye. And despite everything, there’s a bit of fear and worry shining in his green gaze. Fear, because after finally letting himself step over line, maybe it wasn’t enough. Worry, because perhaps you didn’t love him enough to stay.

But then you shake your head, and smile at him again. “No, I won’t.”

The smile turns into a grin that Dwayne instantly reflects. He’s eager to pull you back in, already addicted to the feeling of having your body pressed against his. But he can’t seem to break contact with your eyes. Nor you with his. The air around you suddenly weighs more than it should be, or maybe it’s just hard for Dwayne to breathe.

Either way, he raises a hand to fit along your jawline. His thumb comes out to trace over your cheek; soft and warm. And the way your head leans into his hand doesn’t help ease the pounding of his heart.

Lining up his lips with yours was the most natural thing in the world.

At first, it was a motionless kiss. Just pressing your lips together to get the feel of it. But in no time, Dwayne starts moving, and you follow his lead. He immediately moves to start sucking on your bottom lip, and the way you inhale at the sensation gives him goosebumps. Your hand moving through the hair on the back of his head only makes them stronger.

You’re both breathing through your noses to stretch the kiss on for as long as possible. And Dwayne is content to stand here all night doing just that; you felt way too good to let go.

But there’s a phone call. From inside your house. Who the hell was calling you this late?

You’re the one who finally breaks the kiss; flustered and panting and smiling shyly. Dwayne has no doubts that he’s in the same state, but his head is in the clouds, so he can’t be sure. That’s why he silently walks through your front door after you grab his hand and you pull him inside.

Neither of you speak. It’s a little awkward, in a good way - you feeling bad that your phone cut the kiss short, and Dwayne just eager to continue it. But he simply watches as you walk up the coffee table, sweeping up your phone and checking the caller ID. “Who is it?” He asks lightly.

“The FBI agent who interviewed me. He said he’d call me, night or day, when he got any news.”

Dwayne nods, expecting you to answer, but you never do. And it makes him frown a little in confusion. “Arent’cha gonna answer it?” Dwayne questions, stepping up to stand beside you.

A second later, you shake your head and send the call to voicemail. Dwayne’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but then your arms are around his shoulders again. Lips brushing against his. And he suddenly couldn’t care less about the phone call.

#ncis new orleans imagine #ncis new orleans x reader #ncis nola x reader #dwayne pride x reader #dwayne pride imagine

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years

Text

The Scientist - Killian (Spies in Disguise)

x OC

Author’s Note: Well I can’t draw her, so I’m writing her. (Even though she’s our reader character with her name back so... I’m already writing for her.) AND forcing my two current MoTM to work together. Because screw the both of you and your voice actors, okay!?

Right. *ehem* Rant over. Here we go.

...Uh... If you know nothing about the Dark Crystal (Specifically Age of Resistance) then... uhm... I mean you don’t need to know much but it is heavily referenced. Anyone who knows the characters might look at the title and know exactly where I’m going to go with this... though To the people I’ve forced now to look at that moodboard 3 times. I’m not sorry.

Disclaimer: Dark Crystal characters not mine / Spies in Disguise characters not mine / lyrics not mine / OC is my baby

Premise: On the eve of an important business event Killian still has time to learn some important lessons....

Words: 2662

Warnings: Possible Dark Crystal spoilers / equal parts fluff & banter... with the tiniest bit of angst. Not Reader Insert...

________ You don't know how lovely you are I had to find you Tell you I need you Tell you I set you apart Tell me your secrets And ask me your questions Oh let's go back to the start Running in circles, coming up tails Heads on a science apart Nobody said it was easy No one ever said it would be this hard Oh take me back to the start I was just guessing at numbers and figures Pulling your puzzles apart Questions of science, science and progress Do not speak as loud as my heart Tell me you love me Come back and haunt me Oh and I rush to the start Running in circles, chasing our tails Coming back as we are

---

It was getting pretty late when Killian finally glanced up from his work at the clock. He sighed, if he didn’t go now he wouldn’t even be fashionably late. He sat back in his chair and tapped the file in front of him – no, he didn’t want to go. But given the importance of the event he knew he would have to. Swivelling, Killian propped himself on his elbows to check on KiTT. The little assistance drone was busy putting all the final checks in place, chattering away to itself. Killian had long since sent her away, but he supposed it was time to call it a night. “KiTT!” The little Drone finished soldering and beeped enthusiastically, zooming through the air to his side as Killian stood; “Let’s go. It’s late.” He beeped again and then hovered ahead at pace as Killian dragged the file from the desk and began shutting down. He took a deep breath, big day tomorrow… And followed the drone out. Upon ascending to the living floor Killian could already hear the television, probably on louder that necessary, and knew she would be curled up relaxing to one of her favourite shows. Upon hearing this himself KiTT gave an excited squeak and set off quickly towards the room. Killian just chuckled and rolled his eyes; “Yeah! Don’t wait up!” He instead turned off at their bedroom to deposit the file on his side table and pick out a tie. Once that was sorted he crossed the corridor and into the little room she’d set herself up in.

“Ashlinn, would you-” He paused and raised an eyebrow at the TV screen. She was concentrating hard, hair pulled back off her face in a high pony tail, knees up, blanket around her, thumb pressed up against her lips, green eyes wide. Killian stepped a little closer and leant forward, intrigued. “Are they… puppets?” She nearly jumped, and then threw the remote at him; “OH MY GOD-! KNOCK-!” That only made him laugh as she scrambled to pause it; “Sorry, I didn’t realise you were that into it.” “This is pretty dark stuff, you just gave me a heart attack!” He noticed that KiTT was now resting next to her on the sofa; “Oh and he didn’t? Dark?!” He indicated to the screen, “It looks like the Muppets, what is this?” “First off- How dare you! This is the Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance!” Ashlinn glared at him, arms folded “Second of all – I guess you’re not wrong, it’s all Jim Henson. Third of all, KiTT doesn’t bother me and actually sat down quietly. Unlike some people.” Killian sat next to her and presented himself to show he could also do just that; “I see you’re not going to forgive me until I ask about it.” “…It’s pretty good, yeah.” She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. He crossed his legs, resting his foot up on his knee and pointed back to the screen – a single character now stuck on pause “Who is that?” “Rian. He’s the hero. Or, one of. To be honest, I didn’t like him at first – annoying – but he grows on you.” “Uh huh. I see…” He tipped his head, the character looked a little like an Elf. But Killian wasn’t really getting passed the puppets and his smile was amused. “Great colour scheme though.” Ashlinn scoffed, yeah he would think that, blue and black. “So, if he’s the hero but is annoying. Who is your favourite?” She laughed, giving him a sideways glance of significance; “Oh, you know me, K. I’ve always had a thing for the bad guy.” He raised an eyebrow at her, “Oh? Are they strange little puppets too?” “I mean I guess.” She gave a shrug “Although they don’t look like that – they are strange, raptor… bird creatures. My personal favourite is the Emperor… though half of it is probably Jason Isaacs’ voice acting, cuz hot damn.” Killian wasn’t sure if he should be worried about her or not, but his face was clearly bemused. It didn’t deter Ashlinn “…You got nothing to worry about babe, trust me.” “Are you sure… I mean, this raptor bird thing is an Emperor.” “Ha. Ha. You’re in luck, he’s black and purple. Oh but he does have pretty neat blue eyes.” “Blue eyes and a great voice. That… sounds familiar.” His smirk was almost cocky, “Well yeah – and a bad guy. I’m a complete sucker. Thank God I have you!” He had to chuckle at her dry humour. “Anyone else, or is he the epitome of characters.” “Well, Deet, she’s one of the heroines, is just absolutely adorable…” Killian watched the way Ashlinn’s eyes lit and the way her voice pitched. That was something he recognized in her alright, from days long since past. He hadn’t seen a lot of it since Kyrgyzstan... “I see. And is she a raptor bird or does she look like Rian?” He pointed back to the screen “Or neither?” “Oh. No! She’s not a Skeksis! She’s a Gelfling like Rian, but a completely different type. So she’s green. OH! And girls have wings.” All Killian looked now was completely lost. “…Right.” “I’ve lost you, haven’t I?” “Yup.” Ashlinn indicated to the screen “You could just watch?” Killian would say yes, but he also knew he had to leave. And in the back of her head, Ash knew that too, so she sighed, trying not to make him say it for himself. “…You know…” her voice was quiet, and she lowered her eyes from his face “…There is another character. And maybe you’d like him…” “Go on…” “He’s… I dunno… I mean I guess he’s one of the bad guys, but he kinda has a heart and he cares about a few things, y’know… He actually refers to some of the creatures as his friends. He likes tinkering with things, and experimenting… I mean, maybe he’s a little crazy, but it all adds to the charm.” Killian watched the little smile creep across her face, “And he kinda snuck up on me, I didn’t exactly expect to like him but then – boom – he successfully infiltrated my heart… And he’s kinda a little isolated and no one understands him. Sometimes they are downright mean... I don’t like that very much. BUT he’s a complete genius, like oh my god! Without him they wouldn’t have a CLUE! He also ends up in some not fantastic situations because of some complete assholes.” She gave a shrug “I mean I guess he’s a little like you.” Killian had a feeling she was going to come to that conclusion. “What’s his name?” “The Scientist.” She smiled gently, “But he… he’s also cybernetic. But like almost literally in exactly the same way you are. I mean it’s his right arm and his right eye but… it was a weird thing to suddenly realise. I mean I think his leg too, but that’s more me, so we’ll forget that - And I mean the eye at least wasn’t his fault… But I just. Do I love him because of you or is it just… that I’m making a connection that-” “Ash.” Killian brought her back to him gently, “It’s okay… you made your point.” But he was smiling too, “So. This Scientist. You think he’d be my favourite?” “I mean he’s cool and he’s my baby, so yeah.” “Your baby…” He chuckled at the protective way she said it, and even that notion made sense – as the way she was with him; “Fair enough…” But after perhaps piquing his interest, Ashlinn wanted to take this as far as she could; “He’s also voiced by Mark Hamill. Which, I think is pretty damn cool on its own.” “Luke Skywalker, huh?” “Yeah.” Ashlinn gave a gentle knowing smile which only made him laugh, “Okay, darling I get it.” “Well I just need to make sure you do alright!? Though I can’t say any of them are Australian. Which is a shame.” He sighed gently, “I always knew it was the accent.” “Certainly is! Everything else I hate but that’s pretty sexy.” “Well if one thing keeps you here who am I to argue...!?” Killian’s eyes flicked to the screen curiously “...what does he look like?” “Oh! You’re interested?” She beamed - But instead of hitting play Ashlinn scrabbled for her phone, typing in details she turned it around to him. “Ta da!” Killian took it from her delicately, immediately getting the “cybernetic” physicality comparison but also- “Oh my god-! Is that what they look like!?” He couldn’t really hide his face of disgust, “Yeah. Bird raptors is right! I hope you’re not making a physical comparison!” To jab back at him Ashlinn simply folded her arms; “Well you can hardly talk! I mean-!” He opened his mouth, wanting her to be so bold as to try that one again; “Don’t you dare!” “I offered plastic surgery-!” She simply gave another shrug, not breaking her measured stare “Oh my god! How could you say that to my face-!?” He throw her phone across the room in revulsion and it clattered twice. “Well that was uncalled for!” “I do not look like THAT!” She snorted, placing her hand over her heart at how serious Killian was taking her – and then took a deep breath, looking at him like he was insane. A look he was rather too used to these days; “What-!? That’s not what I said!” “Good. Unless you’re about to tell me you’re attracted-” Ashlinn held her hands up “Woooah, I think that’s something else! And would be incredibly private! Thankyouverymuch-!” There was a pause as Killian eyed her suspiciously, then he sighed “I’ll get your phone…” “Thank you.” She watched him draw himself to height, and as her stare was already so intense she couldn’t help but bite her lip as she watch him cross the room, and then stride back. He resumed the same comfortable position he’d just left and held it out to her, not catching her eye - Ashlinn took it back just as delicately as he had - noticing the way Killian smiled as she made sure to brush her fingertips against his. “But I mean it… I think you’d really like to see a character who… is like… you are.” Ashlinn gave a shrug; “It might help.” Then she grinned with a wink; “Besides, we already know: Cybernetics are sexy!” He took her hand in his for a moment, though his huffed laugh was in agreement, “Ash… Darling… You’ve helped enough. But if you want me to watch it with you, of course I will. Only, tonight, I’m afraid I cannot.” She glanced to his attire; and more noticeably his slacked tie. “Oh! I’m sorry, you could have just asked!” “No. I wanted to hear you talk about your Dark Crystal.” “You did not!” “Not necessarily true – It makes you happy… Ties are just… hard.” He indicated to his hands, then sat still for her. Ashlinn knelt up and pulled Killian towards her, tugging the tie she looped it into an Eldredge knot and pulled it tight, straightening his collar. “Big event?” “Corporate.” “That explains the waistcoat.” She brushed him down; “It looks pretty sexy I’ll give it that.” “Don’t you start!” He gave her a warning look, but it was half hearted, and she offered him a smirk back; “Don’t forget to pick me up some diamonds!” “Oh no!” Killian pulled her into him kissing her temple “No stealing tonight-!” She snickered, even though she knew that; “Aw, you’re no fun!” “Mmm, so you say.” He murmured against her skin, but all that did was send a shiver of delight up her spine. “J-Just be careful with that arm.” Killian let her turn to him, releasing her from his grip, although Ashlinn kept her hands on him; “I will, I promise.” Her eyes searched his face, curiously, “…What is it for?” “You mean who am I tonight?” He tipped his head, “Tristan.” “Then be EXTRA careful.” “Ashlinn…” He nearly murmured it, blue eyes looking between hers, “You have my word.” “Good. Keep it.” She let him go and kissed his cheek, curling back up on the sofa. Killian shook his head slowly, she was about as unfathomable as her explanation of the program she was watching, and pulled Ash back to him. This time his lips were against hers, and she closed those gorgeous green eyes, running her hands up his chest and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she didn’t dare crease his suit or mess his hair up. Killian on the other hand could run his hands through her long dark hair. He wanted it to last longer, he wanted to lay her back and make her forget about whoever this Scientist guy was and get her lost in real cybernetics… But he knew he couldn’t, and Killian pulled back all too fast. “I’m sorry. I wish I could stay.” She did her best to look understanding, “No, go, this is important I know. Go-!” He stood, and shrugged on his suit jacket; “I’ll leave you to your… bird raptors now…” “Please, who needs those cybernetics when I have yours.” “And your own.” He snapped his fingers, “Intriguing notion.” “Oh shit! You had the same one.” He chuckled, leaving that to her imagination; “I’ll see you later, Ashlinn.” “Awwww--!” She whined, “That’s not fair!” Ash watched him walk away, the way he still tucked his arm behind his back like that. Bother, or shame, or because it looked cool... she wondered which Killian would admit to. It wasn’t the lightest material but she’d made sure that his muscles and his back could hold it. Maybe it was easier to balance his weight distribution that way..? She thought voicing it might just get his back up, but it didn’t make her any less sad about it. And she worried. Mind you, Ashlinn always worried. More so now than ever before.

Killian paused at the door and turned back to her; “I’ll be really late home, okay, so… don’t wait up for me.” Her eyes flicked to the screen, and then back to him; “Uh… Yeah.” He rolled his eyes; “Alright unless the show is still on!” Killian blew her a kiss, “Goodnight Ashlinn!” But listening to his footsteps fade away only made her feel lonely and she had to call him back; “Tristan! I love you!” He stopped dead, and chuckled. Tristan… A name he’d be hearing all night, but never the way she’d just yelled it. Well, how could he just leave her at that? He glanced at his watch – he still had time. Turning, he walked all the way back – but he didn’t stop at that. Gathering her face in his hands, Killian kissed first her forehead, and then her hair; “Silly girl. You think I don’t already know that?” Ashlinn placed her hands over his – running her fingertips gently over his cybernetics – that part of the conversation far from forgotten. And let him gently release her, not letting his fingertips part from hers until they absolutely had to – smile beaming, and eyes full of adoration. Killian was never sure he really deserved either – but what else did he have these days?

His walk away from her this time was slower, and he once again paused at the door, locking those blue eyes on her with an intense stare; “I mean it! Get some rest it’s a big day tomorrow!” Then he disappeared, knowing that he now certainly was running late. But Ashlinn couldn’t resist one more call back; “I know! I hope you’ve brushed up on your Japanese!” And the last thing she heard was his laugh echoing down the hallway as he made his way to the helipad. She ran a hand over KiTT, who beeped at her affectionately, and she smiled, biting her lips together and then running her fingers over them as his kiss lingered with her just a little longer. “Okay, KiTT… where were we?”

---

...Soooo... we almost got a Netflix and Chill moment there. Dammit Killian, who cares about the damn party-!?

Ashlinn probably has a voice kink, size kink, and likely a cybernetics kink too... 🤔

I hope this comparison is Original - and I’m taking credit! But I was watching and suddenly it all clicked

Thank you for reading 💜💙

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