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zero-insignificance · 2 months

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DND Recap: The End?

Cast includes: Rose the DM, Bob (yours truly), Truk, Patrick and Zara

We open the session fresh off killing Starscourge Radahn the second time. He has turned into a puddle of a lot of ectoplasm. Bob harvests 200 gallons of ectoplasm.

We have a new item we can use in combat.

Ectoplasm Jello Shots. Makes you intangible for 1 round of combat and you can take 2 every long rest.

The party is futzing around in the arena while Rose gets food from 711. Truk gets to play with wielding 3 Radahn's great swords. He gets a cease-and-desist letter from a Shiba Inu after making a reference to an out of game character. The swords vanish cuz that would be SO overpowered. Zara is up to God knows what. Patrick is investigating. Bob sets out a disk, presses a button and runs and out pops a 6-person tent.

Phillip pops out of nowhere (aka Rose has their 711 snacks and is back home) and states that we're going to have to do more than just beat Starscourge Radahn to beat him and get Bragar back.

Phillip: Imaginary technique Bob: Just like your bedroom technique, which didn’t exist. Phillip: *explodes* (this is not canon)

Bob the Builder is canonically in Hell

The floor gives out from underneath everyone and everyone starts falling except for Bob cuz he got wings and he collapses his tent, grabbing it before letting himself drop. "weeeeeeeeeeeee-"

We land in a ball pit and Bob is just like "Why am I the only one with wings?" as he flutters over the party.

And Truk finds a yellow rabbit plushie and picks it up and then Alfie pops up out of the ball pit "Sorry that's mine-" and he grabs the rabbit before replacing it with fucking Plush Trap "See ya!" and he dips.

Bob: PUT IT DOWN- Truk: Should I put it down? Everyone: PUT. IT. DOWN.

Truk drops Plush Trap and the moment it hits the ground the lights flicker, and it's gone. Bob knows that the little fucker is the ball pit and is like "Alright let's get everyone out of the ball pit. If something grabs your leg, punt it."

We look through the room and find 4 coffins. Each of them has each person's true name on it.

Zara immediately scratches her's out. Truk admires the quality of the coffins. Bob blushes at his cuz it says D'Avariss Gilbert Redfeather and then he covers the name with yellow duct tape before chiseling that out. And Patrick is sad because the 4th coffin says "Ender Danak Zordak" which foreshadows the next session because Patrick does not know who he is. Bob took his memories for reasons to be revealed.

Patrick puts a hand in the coffins and he must make a constitution saving throw. He succeeds with flying colors and he gets this urge to lay down in the coffin but he fights it off. The coffins are all unus annus themed for each character. So, Bob's is purple and sparkly and plant themed. Truk's is pink. Zara's is probably solid black with chaotic flames on it. And Patrick's is somehow changing colors.

Bob and Zara like to chat cuz mlm and wlw solidarity and Zara is surprised that Bob's is purple. Bob: My old patron made me say that my favorite color was green cuz it pissed me off, but Alfie gives me more free will and I am proud to say that my favorite color is purple. Green is my least favorite color. Zara: Sounds like an asshole.

There’s a skeleton with celebrity signatures everywhere. It asks for Truk autograph. Truk signs his name right next to one that says "Glitta Fah Faes" and the skelly boi gives Bob a chipper greeting.

At some point Zara pulls her hood over her head suspiciously and everyone is like "what's wrong?" Zara tried to lie to everyone Everyone: Bullshit. Truk: Zara. Bob is allergic to bullshit. Literally. Bob: *hives* ow. Truk: Here you go *heals* Bob: I appreciate you.

We've passed the trial of the coffins and the wall of skeletons's wall just vanishes revealing a long hallway that Bob can see the end of. 120 feet of darkvision

They head down it cuz they don't get bad vibes.

And there is a round table at the end of the hall. It's Saturday so no poker.

Bob and Truk can see that there is a tiny Rose sitting at the head of the table. They can only be seen by true gods, but Truk and Bob see their form as translucent since Truk is on his way to godhood and both of Bob's parents are full gods but one is chaos and the other is eldritch (those can't make a true hybrid for the sake of creation so those can either make a full god, full eldritch, demigod or mortal) so he's a demigod of chaos but will become a full god when Discord dies.

Zara sees nothing. Patrick sees nothing. The Rose gestures for us to sit, and Truk sits only to find that his but is stuck by a binding spell

Patrick: Don't worry, I HAVE AN ERASER- Truk: WAIT DON’T ERASE MY ASS-

So Truk grabs the edges of the chair and makes a strength check to jump and smash the chair. He succeeds but the chair butt is still stuck to his butt.

Truk: *touches chair butt* go *casts dispel magic* Bob: *trying to crowbar the chair but off* A- *slams into wall*

Bob: *20 fucking points of bludgeoning damage* ow... Patrick's player: He's in the family guy death pose. Me: Definitely. He knows human pop culture, but I don't. Bob: *to Rose* Why did you do this? In Game Rose: I thought it would be funny. Bob: That was a bit rude.

So, in world you can use dispel magic to repel magical beings. Also, out of combat if you cast a spell, it doesn't use any spell slots. Bob heals himself up.

And we explore the room. There are many many book shelves and a doorway that leads to a staircase. Bob tosses a rock down the stairwell and 18 minutes pass where everyone is through books and then a sound reverberates back up to us and the rock hits the ground at which Bob stops the timer.

Bob: *hiss* I don't like the sound of that. I don't like the sound of that at all... Zara: What? What is it? Bob: *doing the math* That was 18 minutes... 1080 seconds in 18 minutes... So that means its about... 108000 feet? And I don't like the sound of that... Patrick: How many football fields is that? Bob: American or normal? Patrick: American. Bob: 360? Patrick: That's a lot. What's a football field?

Bragar is Rizzing up Phillip the Ghost King Bob and Zara find one scroll each They get a scroll of Disintegrate with infinite uses Zara finds 1984 and the Communist Manifesto Bob finds then sets JK Rowling’s newest book on fire. Gains one point of inspiration from Rose. Truk gets the Hungry Caterpillar, Harold and the Purple Crayon, and Sun Tzu's The Art of War. Bob gives Rose 12 mozzerella sticks. They are gone in seconds.

And then we find the fucking MAGIC TREE HOUSE BOOKS. And the campaign members fucking love those so it's swarmed.

Zeus appears. Alfie appears behind him full morning voice “Leave.” sounding like GOW 4 Kratos. Zeus shits himself. He runs. Alfie is in pursuit with an axe.

And we enter the stairwell.

It looks like the never-ending staircase from SCP.

Rose: I hope you’re good at closing your eyes. Everyone: is it scp 096? Rose: … yes

It's very dark and the only one who doesn't have dark vision is Patrick. Zara has 60ft dark vision because she's half tabaxi half human. Truk's eyes glow orange. Bob's glow purple. Zara's glow blue. Patrick can't see shit.

We go down the stairs for a while and eventually we get tired of it and decide to jump. We each have ways to negate fall damage, except for Patrick who is in Goliath form.

Truk: *jumps down stairwell in rage* Zara: *jumps down stairwell in cat* Patrick: *Slides down the stairwell railing* Bob: *jumps down stairwell slowing his descent with wings*

On our way down we each see 096 in the corner crying, but we don't see his face.

We jumped down 259 feet.

Truk takes 879 damage halved. He takes 438 damage. Relentless endurance so he survives.

Truk: OH MY GOD I CAN FEEL EVERY BONE- OH MY BACK. I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS I CAN SEE THE HORIZON- Hatsune Miku?! Miku: Just passing through! Bob: Let's heal you up before Alfie finds out. Don't tell your surrogate dad. We spend a bunch of time healing up Truk.

We see a metal door with a symbol on it.

Bob: OH- Uh that's not good! Truk: What? Bob: We're at an SCP Facility- Oh we must've dimension hopped. these people contain anomalies. We ARE anomalies.

Me: Did Rose break in and steal the gender stone? Rose: It’s canon. I was the breach. I stole the gender stone.

We all turn into SCPs

Bob is scp-049 (plague doctor) Templeton (Bob's pet copperhopper) is the 999 (tickle monster) Patrick is scp 073 (Cain) Zara is scp 2085-a (cybernetic cat girl) Truk is 682 (the unkillable lizard) Dee Dee is scp 173 (The Statue)

Bob: Oh Templeton you’re so CUTE!

Zara is just being followed by cyborg cat girls

We each gain slight characteristics of the SCP we are. So Truk hates humans. Bob occasionally talks about the pestilence and can't say heal. He'll only say cure. Patrick has respect for anyone who can beat him in a fight. Zara likes anarchy. So, nothing changes. And Dee Dee has a slight urge to snap our necks.

Bob checks to see if he still has his heels on. He does.

So, he's just walking through the facility like that one meme of the plague doctor with Ganster's Paradise but in high heels as he tells each person about the scp they are.

We find a security guy dying on the floor

Guy: *dying on floor* Truk: *unkillable lizard* Are you okay? Guy: I must be dead cuz you killed 50 of my men Bob: Here. Let me cure you. Guy: D: Bob: Don't worry I'm not going to touch you. Guy: What kind of drugs did I take- Bob: This may be hard to believe but we're not your scps we've had some sort of consciousness transfer into these guys.

Bob: GET IN THE BAG- I'M SAVING YOUR LIFE. So, the guy gets in the Nap Sack and all the robot cat girls get in the Nap Sack.

We have to get out of here or the fucking nuke under the facility will explode.

We meet that little girl scp. We come across the electric gates. Bob and Truk make it. Patrick and Zara take 15 lightning damage.

Bob is runway walking through the facility.

We find scp 725 (a whale) Bob: Can I take a photo? Whale: Yes Bob: My future husband will love this! *sends Alfie photo of whale* Alfie: YOU LUCKY FUCK-

Bob takes the cure all pill. Lucifer snatched the duckie SCP. Lucifer immediately bolts when he sees Zara. Truk is a teen dad. He adopts the death child. Bob: Get into the sack, child. Never mind the guard will go crazy.

Truk has a very painful transformation back to normal. The little girl lost her weird death powers but will still be a god of death. Bob steps through and just takes off the plague gear.

Ghost king is next to Bragar in bed. Bragar is the bottom. He is level 4 exhaustion. Phillip has no need to slow down.

The Guard turns into Banjo the Frog!

Bob: We don't have to fight. Just release your subjects and be the ruler they deserve! Phillip: Why should I free them? Bragar: Please hon. Phillip: Fine.

Phillip will be in the nap sack.

Bob: Who here in this party is mentally stable? Truk: I’m mentally stable *war flashback* Everyone: No you aren’t.

Retconned. Bragar and Phillip won’t be together. Bragar is in a cage next to Phillips bed. Phillip is abusive af.

Patrick: Do you have a safe word? Bragar: Yes. I’ve used it seven times Bob runs over stealthily and picks the lock on the cage. Bob got locked in the cage a lot when he was with Phillip and went back to him many times. Me: That is why he knows how to lock pick. Everyone: :o

Rose shuffles through various stat sheets before settling on one with an immunity to psychic, radiant and necrotic damage but nixes the psychic immunity. Anyone can cast a vicious mockery if we want to regardless of us knowing the spell or not. Bob knows that Phillip's weak spot are insults targeted against his looks and telepathically relays that knowledge to his party. Any insults targeted towards his vanity will do double damage and Phillip will have to roll wisdom saves at disadvantage.

Battle Highlights!

Bragar: I can’t believe I thought you were sexy!

Bob: YOUR HAIRLINE LOOKS LIKE IT GOT FUCKED BY A WEED WACKER. Phillip: My love you hurt me- Why? Bob: BECAUSE YOU SUCK- YOUR MOTHER SHOULD’VE SWALLOWED YOU-

Patrick: You really looked at a walmart bag and thought that’s the ideal complexion, did you? Phillip: That stung-

Truk: You look like you were deep fried but the wrong way. Phillip: *succeeds save* Your allies are better at this than you. That was horrible. Truk: Yeah. I’m better at swinging my sword.

“Zara. Fuck the rolls what are you going to do” Zara ends up getting yeeted.

Bob: Your muscles look so fake. How much work did you get done since the last time I saw you? You should get your money back. Phillip: *ego deflates* Bob: *pulls out shotgun* *BOOM* Truk is sucking.

Bob casts disintegrate on the cage. The magic rips the cage to shreds and the shrapnel is consumed by blobs that are made of the missing texture blocks that absorb the shrapnel and the cage disintegrates.

Bragar uses his breath weapon. Bob: Alfie, can I have that bottle of wyvern whiskey? Alfie: Yes. Bob: Bragar! *tosses him the whiskey* CATCH! Bragar takes a swig and spews that at him in a second breath weapon.

Bob: The founding father and Hades from Hercules look? Not cute. Disgusting. Critical fail. Double damage initially cuz the insult was targeted towards his looks. So, 48 doubled. 96 psychic damage!

Bragar blasts him with fire then sucker punches Phillip.

He is slammed into the ground. Bob picks up his face and shows him his reflection in the mirror because throughout the fight Phillip's physical appearance has been becoming more beast like. “Now the outside matches the inside” This shatters Phillip's psyche, and he crumples into ash.

Zara kicks the pile of ash.

Bob hugs Bragar because he knows what it's like. They now have a trauma bond.

500 gold for the bed frame 5000 gold dresser

Bob sold Phillip's shit. He splits the money with Bragar.

The little girl scp is named Morticia Frump. One day to take the last name Addams when she meets the love of her life, Gomez Addams.

The cat girls are now Zara's warlocks. She is on her own way to ascending to godhood.

Bob has 2 tally marks

Zara will become the God of Anarchy emphasizing the secondary name of the Champions campaign.

Gods and Monsters.

After using the Gender Stone, Rose chucks the Gender Stone into the void "Hey Alfie, you'll love this" Alfie: Is that the gender stone? Rose: Yeah, you'll love it. Alfie: ... I don't need it cuz shape shifting. Rose: Oh.

#dnd #dungeons and dumbasses #dungeons and dragons

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isocertification-in-denmark24 · 4 months

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Why Consider ISO 45001 Certification in Denmark and the Importance of Auditors ?

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heaeui · 7 months

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digma

mag-isa at walang kasamang hukbo

walang tama, walang galos

bagaman matalas at mahapdi

kahibangan ang pag danak ng dugo

ang umaagos dito ay matamis

kung minsan nama’y mapait

hanggang sa hindi napunasan; kumupas

pulahang mantsang nanatili, sa balat dumikit

kailan matatapos ang ugong sa dibdib?

na parang mga bangaw na may isinisigaw

nagsusumamo na wag ma-waglit

kaya umaalingawngaw nang paulit-ulit

sabi nila ikaw raw ay mapagpalaya

pero bakit rehas pa rin ang yakap?

malamig na bakal pa rin ang himas

ang tanaw na langit ay kisame sa taas

dayuhan kang naglalagi sa muni

kusang nanakop nang walang atubili

talo ang walang depensa dahil isa kang digma

na kailangan mapagtagumpayan para makalaya

- rioto

#draft dump #poems and poetry #poems on tumblr #poetry #poem #text post #writeblr #tagalog #filipino #philippines #love #Spotify

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gmpcertification · 9 months

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