#darcy and bingley are both sexy in this

[dastardly-homo-writing]

(Queer) Pride and Prejudice || Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Darcy Makes *Eye Contact* With Lezzie but Ultimately Leaves a Poor Impression

Not all that Mrs. Bennet, however, with the assistance of her five daughters, could ask on the subject, was sufficient to draw from her husband much satisfactory description of Ms. Bingley. They attacked him in various ways—with barefaced questions, ingenious suppositions, and distant surmises; but aside from the lone offhand complement of Bingley’s handsomeness he eluded the skill of them all. They were at last obliged to accept the second-hand intelligence of their neighbour, Lady Lucas. Her report was highly favourable. Sir William had been delighted with Bingley. She was quite young, confirmedly wonderfully handsome, extremely agreeable, and of a seemingly athletic disposition. And to crown the whole, she meant to be at the next assembly with a large party. Nothing could be more delightful! To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love; and very lively hopes of Ms. Bingley’s heart and hand (in multiple ways) were entertained.

“If I can but see one of my daughters happily settled at Netherfield,” said Mrs. Bennet to her husband, “and all the others equally well married, I shall have nothing to wish for.”

In a few days Ms. Bingley returned Mr. Bennet’s visit, and sat about ten minutes with him in his library. She had entertained hopes of being admitted to a sight of the young ladies, of whose beauty she had heard much; but she saw only the father. The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window that she wore a blue coat, and rode a black horse.

An invitation to dinner was soon afterwards dispatched; and already had Mrs. Bennet planned the courses that were to do credit to her housekeeping, when an answer arrived which deferred it all. Ms. Bingley was obliged to be in town the following day, and, consequently, unable to accept the honour of their invitation, etc. Mrs. Bennet was quite disconcerted. She could not imagine what business she could have in town so soon after her arrival in Hertfordshire; and she began to fear that she might be always flying about from one U-Haul to another, and never settled at Netherfield as she ought to be.

Lady Lucas quieted her fears a little by starting the idea of her being gone to London only to get a large party for the ball; and a report soon followed that Ms. Bingley was to bring nineteen companions with her to the assembly. The girls grieved over such a potential number of ladies, but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing that she brought only six with her from London—her five sisters and a cousin. And when the party entered the assembly room it consisted of only five altogether—Ms. Bingley, her two sisters, the husband of the eldest, and another dashing young companion.

Ms. Bingley was good-looking and gentlemanlike. She had a simultaneously boyish and girlish air about her. Her countenance was pleasant, her manners easy and unaffected. Her sisters were fine women in all eyes, with an air of decided fashion. Her brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman. Besides, the majority of the young ladies’ eyes fell elsewhere. Bingley’s friend Ms. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by their fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien, and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after their entrance, of their having ten thousand a year. Possibly twelve thousand, though this insight had been spread from the mouth of Lady Trent, who was intelligent but adept at dishonesty.

Many in the room pronounced Darcy to be much handsomer than Ms. Bingley; it was not quite a case of more favourable appearance, but rather of a sharper allure. Their expression held a unique confidence as they first scanned the room. They were looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till their manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of their popularity; for they were discovered to be proud; to be above their company, and above being pleased; and not all their large estate in Derbyshire could then save them from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with their friend.

Ms. Bingley had soon made herself acquainted with all the principal people in the room; she was lively and unreserved, danced every dance, most skillfully. There was, at the same time, a sturdiness to her movements which suggested a hidden display of musculature under her dark tailcoat. She was angry that the ball closed so early, and talked of giving one herself at Netherfield. Such amiable qualities must speak for themselves. What a contrast between her and her friend! Ms. Darcy danced only once with Mrs. Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of their own party. Their character was decided. They were the proudest, most disagreeable person in the world, and everybody hoped that they would never come there again. Amongst the most violent against them was Mrs. Bennet, whose dislike of their general behaviour was sharpened into particular resentment by their having slighted one of her daughters.

Lezzie Bennet had been obliged, by the mismatched number of attendees, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Ms. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between them and Ms. Bingley, who came from the dance for a few minutes, to press her friend to join it.

“Come, Darcy,” said she, “I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance, you insipid fool.”

“I certainly shall not. You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner. At such an assembly as this it would be insupportable. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”

Lezzie pondered the origin of a friendship between two people who seemed so drastically different from one another. Whereas Ms. Bingley seemed gentle and eager, Ms. Darcy was cutting and conceited. Though, in Lezzie’s view, these were not the differences which most definitively drew a line between the two—no, not this at all. Ms. Darcy had an...intriguing air… about them, which Ms. Bingley did not…

This observation Lezzie would soon choose to discard.

“I would not be so fastidious as you are,” cried Ms. Bingley, brushing back her pale locks, cut just north of her collarbone, “for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty.”

“You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,” shrugged Ms. Darcy, looking over at the eldest Miss Bennet.

“Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld!”

“Wax not your poetry in front of me, I beg you,” drawled Ms. Darcy, and now Lezzie was struck, amusedly, by the lightly-mussed state of their short dark curls. Ms. Bingley was not the only one in attendance with a habit of playing with their hair.

“I say, there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.”

“Which do you mean?” and turning round Ms. Darcy looked for a moment at Lezzie, till catching her eye, upon which she felt her breath catch in the most peculiar of ways. Eyes darkening, Darcy withdrew their gaze and coldly said: “She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by others. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me.”

Ms. Bingley followed their advice. Ms. Darcy walked off; and Lezzie, shaking off their momentary connection, remained with no very cordial feelings toward them. She told the story, however, with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous.

The evening altogether passed off pleasantly to the whole family. Mrs. Bennet had seen her eldest daughter much admired by the Netherfield party. Ms. Bingley had danced with her twice, and she had been distinguished by her sisters. Jane was as much gratified by this as her mother could be, though in a quieter way. Lezzie felt Jane’s pleasure. Mary had heard herself mentioned to Miss Bingley as the most accomplished girl in the neighbourhood; and Catherine and Lydia had been fortunate enough never to be without partners, which was all that they had yet learnt to care for at a ball. They returned, therefore, in good spirits to Longbourn, the village where they lived, and of which they were the principal inhabitants. They found Mr. Bennet still up. With a book he was regardless of time; and on the present occasion he had a good deal of curiosity as to the events of an evening which had raised such splendid expectations. He had rather hoped that his wife’s views on the stranger would be disappointed; but he soon found out that he had a different story to hear.

“Oh! my dear Mr. Bennet,” as she entered the room, “we have had a most delightful evening, a most excellent ball. I wish you had been there. Jane was so admired, nothing could be like it. Everybody said how well she looked; and Ms. Bingley thought her quite beautiful, and danced with her twice! Only think of that, my dear; she actually danced with her twice! and she was the only creature in the room that she asked a second time. First of all, she asked Miss Lucas. I was so vexed to see her stand up with her! But, however, Ms. Bingley did not admire her at all; indeed, nobody can, you know; and she seemed quite struck with Jane as she was going down the dance. So she inquired who she was, and got introduced, and asked her for the two next. Then the two third she danced with Miss Bette, and the two fourth with Miss McCutcheon, and the two fifth with Jane again, and the two sixth with Lezzie, and the Boulanger—”

“If she had had any compassion for me,” cried her husband impatiently, “Ms. Bingley would not have danced half so much! For God’s sake, say no more of her partners. O that she had sprained her ankle in the first place!”

“Oh! my dear, I am quite delighted with her. She is so excessively handsome! And her sisters are charming women. I never in my life saw anything more elegant than their dresses. I dare say the lace upon Mrs. Hurst’s gown—”

Here she was interrupted again. Mr. Bennet protested against any description of finery. She was therefore obliged to seek another branch of the subject, and related, with much bitterness of spirit and some exaggeration, the shocking rudeness of Ms. Darcy.

“But I can assure you,” she added, “that Lezzie does not lose much by not suiting their fancy; for they are a most disagreeable, horrid person, not at all worth pleasing. So high and so arrogant that there was no enduring them! They walked here, and they walked there, fancying themself so very great! Not handsome enough to dance with!”

“But mother, they were most handsome, I must insist, electrifyingly so! —”

“Nonsense, Lydia. If you speak the truth then you should also find a toad handsome,” said Mrs. Bennet in her typical righteous manner, despite the falsity of her statement which was evident to all present. She addressed her husband: “I wish you had been there, my dear, to have given them one of your set-downs. I quite detest them.”

Once the conversation quietened, Mrs. Bennet and the girls, fatigued by their evening of excitement, retreated to bed. Mr. Bennet was alone once more. From underneath the book perched in his lap, he slipped out an old, weary letter.

[thesenseinnonsense]

Can you imagine when Clary or Simon figures out that Alec is just.... Living out a regency dime novel, how fucking funny that would be. Like.

Simon: No because think about it, a repressive society, an inexperienced heroine who's been forced to hide her sexuality, a rich rake who's in a local position of power---

Alec: I'm also in a position of power!

Simon: Yeah, some heroines are like, duchesses and stuff too, but they don't have any real power due to the crippling weight of societal expectations---

Alec: I'm going to kill you.

Simon: but anyway, the rake who's known for throwing these like, elaborate balls, who's closed his heart off to love---NO WAIT. MAGNUS IS MISTER DARCY. Like "I'm ignoring the inferiority of your birth" but instead of classism it's that your parents were magical Nazis.

Clary: You know, I think Magnus is more of a Bingley, I'm pretty sure he was into Alec from like, Day 1.

Simon: Have you seen Mr. Darcy? No way that man was not thirsting after our girl Elizabeth Bennet from like, the first time she sasses him back.

Clary: No, but hold on, I think Jane fits way better, the one who has all of their parents expectations on her to marry well, I mean, Elizabeth is more like Izzy or Jace if anything, like fuck the rules, stick it to the man vibes.

Simon: you realize. This makes YOU Mr. Darcy.

Clary: ...

Clary: Let's go back to Alec being a regency dime novel heroine.

Alec: I hate both of you.

Simon: Honestly, half of it is just how great of a dime novel hero Magnus makes. Like he's rakish and rich, and looks like he'd pull off a cravat. And he's always talking about how much he wants to "ravish" Alec. But their entire love story fits the plot honestly. Hero introduces heroine to the world of desire and passion, and heroine has to choose between the life she's always wanted for herself, or this sexy man with rippling abs who society doesn't want her to have.

Alec: talk about Magnus's body again and I'll find a stake and use you as a wall decoration.

Simon: ...I guess he's a little more violent than most regency heroines but there are variations to the genre.

[misscrawfords]

I'm reading Pride and Protest by Nikki Payne, a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice and I'm struggling.

I actually find what Payne has done with the characters and setting really interesting and there are some touches I really like, especially turning Mary into Maurice - an "activist" who changes his activism regularly and lectures others on what they should be doing. (Any interpretation of Mary that isn't "misunderstood, shy, nerd girl who isn't-like-other-girls and is actually just like me, a misunderstood, shy, over-looked nerd girl" gets a positive vote from me.)

However, I really very much dislike her interpretation of Darcy (Dorsey) and Elizabeth (Liza)'s relationship and that is... kinda crucial!

It's waaaaaay over sexualised. Like, I get this is a romance book, but, like, I'm reading along enjoying the story and plot and then suddenly Dorsey is thinking about burying himself in Liza's breasts and I'm like "wooaah!" It's like it's impossible for the author to show them having feelings for each other without it being explicit and I find that out of place both with the source material and with the rest of the narrative.

Secondly, it is sexual... immediately. It commits the cardinal sin of saying "Darcy and Lizzy were hot for each other from the start and all the tension is ~ s e x u a l tension". The 2005 abomination does this too with the near kiss in the rain. And pretty much every single P&P inspired enemies-to-lovers narrative out there does it too. The problem is... this is a really, really inaccurate interpretation of the original book. Darcy is, admittedly, attracted to Elizabeth very quickly. Something that he manages to show not at all to anybody. Only Caroline Bingley, who is intensely interested in Darcy's romantic feelings, spots it. Later on, arch observer Charlotte and good friend Col Fitz also suspect something but by this point in Rosings Darcy has given into his feelings and is trying, albeit terribly, to court Elizabeth. Not that she notices. Darcy is completely able to conceal his sexual attraction to Elizabeth from everyone who isn't thinking about Darcy sexually. He is not quite so able to conceal his romantic interest later on. But crucially, at no point does Elizabeth notice a thing. She has LITERALLY NO IDEA. This is because Elizabeth has no concept of Darcy as a romantic prospect for her at all. She laughs at thinking what a good match he'd be for Anne de Bourgh, a probably sexless in appearance invalid. She doesn't hate him in a ~sexy~ way, she just really does not like him and does not consider him as a romantic option.

If Elizabeth is aware that Darcy has the hots for her, this changes the dynamic completely. If she is actually attracted to him in the first part of the story, that changes the dynamic completely. And both of these changes alter and potentially cheapen Elizabeth's character. If she is aware on some level that Darcy likes her and is interested in her, then she ends up looking like an idiot when the first proposal comes around. Or she ends up looking coy and like she is actually flirting with him. Yes, there is banter but Elizabeth is not consciously flirting or trying to attract him! Elizabeth spends the whole first part of the novel with a crush on Wickham. Austen is perfectly capable to showing to the audience without needing modern explicit language that a character has the hots for another character. Elizabeth fancies Wickham, not Darcy! As the meme goes, Darcy and Elizabeth are experiencing two very different kinds of tension! That's part of the comedy. And if Elizabeth is aware that she is attracted to Darcy, it just becomes a different story, and a less interesting one. Elizabeth becomes yet another romance novel heroine who likes the "bad boy" and tries to persuade herself not to, until the tension is sooooo strong and she ~snaps.

But one of the major points is that Elizabeth doesn't like bad boys! She falls for (well, crushes on) Wickham because she thinks he's good. She dislikes Darcy because she thinks he's bad. She only starts to consider Darcy positively when she understands and sees for herself the truth of his character. That is what she finds attractive, not him being a buttoned up jerk! "One has all the goodness, the other all the appearance of it." That is central to P&P's story and its message.

Unfortunately, in the aims of writing a "romance" novel, Pride and Protest gives us heaving busoms and erections and almost-kisses and therefore completely destroys my interest in Dorsey and Liza's relationship at the same time as well as finding it just a bit tasteless because it feels like there are two stories going on: an interesting exploration of how the context and characters of P&P would work in a highly politised and racially diverse modern USA - and a very generic romance novel story which doesn't do either Darcy and Elizabeth justice. A shame.

It does make me wonder about how to update Austen's novels in terms of sex. Because obviously one of the major changes between the 1810s and now is that having extra-marital sex is totally normal and people date and break up without social repercussions. So unless you are setting the update in a community where that is not the case, you've got to deal with sex being freely on offer. I guess there are different ways around it but I think if how you deal with sex means that the fundamental beats of the narrative and character development are changed, then something's gone wrong somehow. And I feel that Elizabeth's total obliviousness to Darcy having any positive feelings towards her at all until the moment he proposes to her is a crucial part of the plot and a source of unending humour.

[mrdarcygenderenvy]

2005 Joe Wright Pride & Prejudice (ranked out of 10 on my own esoteric metrics)

As Pride & Prejudice-s go, this is the Big One for a lot of people my age. It’s a classic and I have Opinions.

IN SHORT: The film is full of disgustingly lovely visuals and COMMITTED TO THE ROMANCE/ YEARNING to a degree I frankly respect. Immaculate vibes in individual scenes. Lbr, 2020 Emma wishes it had the energy of this film.

Extra credit: Romantic Horniness rating

The unashamed breathless horniness of this Mr Darcy is the defining feature of this film to me and also the film knows it. CONSIDER: the first proposal being a 100% ‘staring at each others lips angrily’ scene in the rain, the classique hand flex after he helps Elizabeth into a carriage, the mystifying choice to have him wandering the moors tits-out in the sunrise, and then fate wafts Lizzie out there too and the two of them practically try to eat/ make out with the sun like a leaning tower of Pisa photo op.

Every creative choice in this film is towards its own idea of what’s pretty and sexy - even if for me, that actually most closely lines up with my personal aesthetic when the thing they have a big hard on for is ‘shots of a lake in afternoon light’ and ‘cool rocks in the peak district’.

mmm

FAST TAKES - The (UK) ending is mystifyingly abrupt - The sisters’ casting is bang on, especially Rosamund Pike Jane (EFFERVESCENT) - Wickham barely gets a look in because everything’s too busy looking beautifully lit but maybe that’s okay - Why is Caroline Bingley wearing a sleeveless dress A CLASSIC

Wildness: 6/10. Yes, it’s a horny romance adaptation of a book whose main appeal is not necessarily romance, and what’s more classic hollywood than that. BUT ALSO, think about the swing scene where Lizzie spins a bit and the seasons pass, the choice to have a pig walking through the house and prominent pig balls shot, and the admirably bold idea of prioritising a long continuous shots of ‘lake’ and ‘in and out of the windows of the house’ over bothering to flesh out Wickham or Mary or explain why Lizzie is inside Darcy’s house. Also, the ‘sculpture gallery, having a big wank over classicism and colonial spoils’ vibe bit of Darcy’s house MAY BE in a real old house, but it fully looks like they’ve teleported to the modern day british museum in a piece of masterful surrealism. This film is fervently here for the aesthetic above all else, including things making sense, and surely there’s a feral energy to that.

LAKE!!!!

Mr Darcy gender envy rating: 4/10. I do not personally find Matthew Macfadyen attractive and I’m pride and prejudiced against this era’s hair. That said, he is tall, which I do envy, and he is a bit pathetic, which I relate to.

(TANGENT, I’m arguably more envious of his cheating, boisterous, lusciously moustachio’d avatar in 2012 Anna Karenina, a very theatrically visually lovely adaptation by the same director where him and Kiera Knightley are brother and sister both giving sort of ‘fun horny fuckup’ vibes. If you liked this P&P, I recommend this film. Also do you think despite Jude Law always having nasty energy, he only started being increasingly cast as evil as his hairline receded because society is terrible? I’M GETTING OFF TRACK.)

How much I have a crush on Elizabeth rating: 8/10, Kiera Knightley is obviously a babe but as a young teenager I was definitely more emotionally overcome by seeing her being a pirate

Shoutout to: That fucking great tree Elizabeth sits on in Derbyshire. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SCENE OF THE FILM IT’S SUCH A GOOD TREE

Also shoutout to the Lady Catherine Reveal scene that my partner thinks is really funny because they really linger on revealing it’s Judi Dench. Like ‘guess who we fucking got…… wait for it…. JUDI DENCH, BABY!!!!’ and then she’s sitting in this insane room of paintings which I guess is just the fanciest filming location they could find, who needs context

OVERALL RATING: a wet horny classic

[soc-characters-as-songs]

The OCs as Jane Austen characters?

everyone is lizzie bennet, remember? lmao

quoted descriptions sourced from the atlantic, barnes and noble, the guardian, and stylist.

and yes, I realize some of these could definitely qualify as hot takes lmao

ivy: fitzwilliam darcy ("I always saw myself as more of a mr. darcy than an elizabeth bennet. we’re both more reserved, and people can mistake our standoffishness for arrogance. but mr. darcy gets the chance to prove what he is really like, and now people often think of him as the ideal romantic hero.")

meredith: marianne dashwood ("marianne is a hopeless, self-indulgent romantic who veers from ecstatic, all-consuming happiness to miserable self-neglect over the unsuitable man she has pinned her hopes on. she is, however, capable of self-improvement and learns invaluable life lessons from her practical and generous older sister, elinor.")

diana: susan vernon ("not all austen’s protagonists are morally sound, well behaved romantics. in her only epistolary novel she presents us with a vicious anti-heroine in the shape of lady susan vernon. a beautiful 30-something widow, she is charming and manipulative towards anyone she can make use of.")

dahlia: isabella thorpe ("in northanger abbey, isabella is one of austen’s funniest characters. she’s a very realistically drawn teenage girl who makes and breaks friends on a whim, is a shallow flirt and loves dancing, shopping and giggling.")

alassie: mary crawford ("in mansfield park, mary crawford is the character all men fall in love with. vivacious, worldly, musical, funny and kind, she is the ultimate femme fatale. even the dull parson edmund bertram falls for her charms, simultaneously attracted and repelled by her particular brand of sexy charisma. she’s a wonderful actress and plays the harp like an angel. she makes the filthiest joke in austen when she makes a pun about sodomy in the navy, concerning rear and vice admirals: “of rears and vices I saw enough. now do not be suspecting me of a pun, I entreat.”")

ramona: anne elliot ("she may be austen’s most hopeful character. without the native strength of emma or lizzy, her quiet character withstands her own youthful mistake to triumph in the end. since most of us blow it to one degree or another in our twenties, anne represents that painful journey to self-knowledge and courage that most of us experience.")

rhea: elinor dashwood ("on the surface, she has it together, she’s in control, she keeps her family together, and she acts like she has no need for romance. but underneath, she is a deeply emotional person. to me, she is jane austen’s most complex and human character. we all exist in layers and are neither sense nor sensibility, but a mixture of both.")

cornelia: elizabeth bennet ("she is smart, witty, charming, and loyal. I have always admired her self-respect: a self-respect that wasn't entirely vain or selfish. the self-respect that would not allow her to marry her intellectually inferior cousin, just to have a home, or save her family. her self-respect that gave her the fortitude to reject darcy's marriage proposal, though, again, it would have secured her future. Her self-respect that gave her the courage to speak her mind among men and women who outranked her socially and economically.")

kaden: emma woodhouse ("emma is rich, pretty, and thinks more of her matchmaking abilities than she should, but she is also a devoted daughter, a loving friend, and above all is someone who is willing to own up to her mistakes and attempt to right them. emma is a heroine you root for as she not only finds love (as any great austen heroine must), but also as she matures from an often inconsiderate girl to a sincere and kind young woman.")

andreia: diana parker ("diana is a homeopathic health fanatic in austen’s final, incomplete novel sanditon, written when she was dying. diana sips herbal and green tea, has anorexic tendencies and distrusts conventional medicine and doctors. she self-medicates with her numerous homemade remedies and is drawn to the other invalids who are staying at the seaside resort. she plans to take a sea bath in a bathing hut on wheels with a mixed-race girl. what a pity that we’re deprived of the chance to see how that would have turned out")

arely: fanny price ("fanny price is also an odd heroine, meek and quiet without any of the strength of her other heroines. she’s also very difficult to read, with a moralistic streak that comes across as quite judgemental. however, like anne elliot, she is very much the outcast of the family and has to endure a fair amount of humiliation from childhood. to see her finally defy her uncle in the gentlest way possible and end up with her childhood love edmund bertram is satisfying."

suzy: catherine morland ("catherine is a dramatic, gothic-novel-loving teen who is desperate for drama and tries to turn her own life into a ghost story, offending and upsetting her friends in the process. throughout my teens I did my best to make my life something in between a fantasy novel and a sofia coppola movie—I can relate. she’s funny, outgoing, and magnificently stupid. but catherine, in her ridiculousness, just wants to make life a fun story. she is the angsty suburban girl who invites you to join her book club with a message written in invisible ink. I would join in a heartbeat.")

samuel: henry tilney ("funny, good-natured, and forgiving, tilney’s even ready to defy his boorish father’s wishes to marry the woman he…loves? this novel lacks the intense romanticism of austen’s later works, but that doesn’t mean henry isn’t a peach.")

bianca: charlotte lucas (sensible and intelligent, does what she has to do for a successful life)

archibald: george knightley ("he is the epitome of kindness, an underestimated heroic quality. he takes care of a vulnerable woman like miss bates, and steps in to dance with lowly harriet smith when he sees that she has been snubbed by the awful mr and mrs elton. he represents the perfect english gentleman and sets himself firmly against french affectation. he refuses to play the conventional hero and talk the language of love: “I cannot make speeches, emma. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.” perfect!")

raphael: charles bingley ("this charming, gallant gentleman wouldn’t hurt a fly, but he would let his chilly sisters talk him out of proposing to the woman he loves, in an era when dancing with her all night has already got half the neighborhood writing up the wedding banns. but who doesn’t keep a spot in their heart for bingley, who’s glad to dance with even the homeliest old maids (we’re talking 27-year-old hags here). he may be suggestible, even a touch weak-willed, but he’s also got a heart of gold. (and if he had a bit more spine, he’d top mr. darcy.)

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Sometimes I can't help but think that I would absolutely love to be a part of a Pride and Prejudice remake with you at the helm of it. I wanna see what your vision for it would be.

Awww thank you darling, that fills me with delight. I admit I haven’t given a ton of thought to a remake since I love the 2005 version so much, and I feel like at this point every Austen book has gotten a worthy adaptation (the 2009 Emma, 1995 Sense & Sensibility, pick either of the Persuasions they’re both amazing, Love & Friendship was an excellent adaptation of Lady Susan...) and I feel like at this point it would just be playing it safe to redo Austen again instead of writing a whole new Regency-era romance.

However.

If someone said, “hey Mads we need you to redo P&P,” I am not going to say no, because we really, really, really need an Austen adaptation that isn’t fucking white.

Part of my problem with the 2020 Emma is that we’re doing yet another Austen adaptation, when we already have a decent one from the ‘90s, and an amazing one from 2009 as a miniseries, I mean, it was really unnecessary in my opinion. So if you’re going to insist on doing another Emma... why the FUCK did you make it all white AGAIN. We’ve SEEN white Austen heroines fall in love over and over, where the hell is my Claudia Doumit or Letitia Wright as Emma? Where’s my Oscar Isaac as Mr. Knightley? Hmmm? HMMMM?

So anyway if I was going to helm a P&P adaptation I would be casting it with people of color (John Cho would be in there but I’m torn on him as Bingley or Darcy, God, he’d be great at both, why must you be so talented sir) and I would probably choose to adapt it with a modern sensibility lens.

That is - there are a lot of things about Regency times that people simply don’t translate into modern times. There’s a lack of modern sympathy and understanding for conventions and situations of the times. I feel like a lot of people dismiss things or don’t realize the implications of something, or they want to adapt it to make it “sexier” or more “modern” without realizing that the sexy and modern is already there.

For example, a lot of people get down on Austen for the whole “Lizzie likes Darcy after seeing Pemberley” bit. They see it as Lizzie being impressed by his wealth, when what really happens is Lizzie sees that Darcy’s servants love him. It’s like if Lizzie walked into Darcy’s office building at the company he owns and asked his secretary, his coworkers, his receptionist, how he treats them. And they all said, “oh my God he’s the best boss ever, I really love working for him, he gives us paid sick days and lots of vacation time and is always understanding about mental health.”

That’s why Lizzie starts to like him. She realizes that she herself was prejudiced and proud, and that Darcy is a kind and responsible man who looks after those in his care. Austen repeatedly tells us in her work that marrying a man because he’s charming is not the way to go. You can’t survive on ‘charming’. You survive on responsibility, on respect, on common sense. Austen’s heroes are all charming in their own way, I mean, my God, “I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death.” That is charming as FUCK, who the hell gave you the right, Wentworth. Henry Tilney is arguably Austen’s most traditionally charming hero, affable and friendly and witty.

But Austen was well acquainted with financial ruin and fear of homelessness and poverty, and she was also well acquainted with the fact that a woman was controlled by her husband. So picking a man who charmed you wasn’t enough. You had to pick a man (if you could) who respected you. Who listened to you. Who was compassionate and thoughtful. Lizzie, in going to Pemberley, sees that she can trust Darcy. He will take care of her and he will respect her.

That’s why she falls for him. Not because he has a big fancy house. If Lizzie was the type to be impressed with wealth she would’ve been impressed by Lady Catherine de Bourgh the way everyone else is, but she’s not, she thinks the lady’s a fucking tosser and stands up to her and doesn’t care how much money or wealth either of them have.

And frankly, I think that’s something we can still find relevant in our modern times. In our capitalist society where we are obsessed with wealth, with celebrities - not just artists or royalty but influencers, people like the Kardashians who do fucking nothing to earn praise or loyalty. They just sit around and exist while looking pretty and being rich. WTF. And people are impressed by it. People are impressed by charming boys who know how to wink and flirt and women still settle for men who yeah, sure, won’t hit you or cheat on you but also won’t do any housework or make dinner or help raise the kids.

I think that if Austen were writing P&P today, she would have Lizzie visit Darcy’s offices and see how he treats his workers. She would notice him being kind to waiters and leaving a large tip. She’d go to a party at the Bingleys and see him in the kitchen doing dishes to help clean up. She’d visit his house and assume he had a housekeeper since it’s clean and neat or that his sister does the chores only to learn that no, Darcy cleans the damn house himself, and wants Georgiana to focus on her university studies. Austen would show us a man who carries his own weight and respects those who are “under” him. A man who doesn’t take advantage of his wealth or privilege.

A lot of recent takes on Austen want to make it for a modern audience so they have ‘darker’ shit going on like cheating and sex and abuse etc. And I get it, some people want that. But there’s kind of this nose-thumbing at Austen implying she was sanitized and all that and frankly I like having a goddamn story that doesn’t include the ‘dark side’ of Regency society like I get it, it wasn’t perfect, but my God, Sanditon, could you shut the fuck up?

I want to give credit to the serious stuff that Austen already put into her story. If you’re reading her stuff thinking “oh this isn’t serious/realistic enough, I want more thrills and drama,” then first of all you’re in the wrong genre and second of all you’re not reading her stuff properly. Stop throwing in drama to make it appealing to modern audiences, guys, it’s already in there!

So yeah. I haven’t thought to myself, oh I want to redo P&P and this is how, but if I were to see any new Austen adaptation, that’s what I want to see. I want to see people of color, and I want to see the adaptation done in a way so that the audience is able to realize just how little things have changed and how similar our needs and societal rules were back then, and I want them to fucking respect Austen because she is my girl and she fucking knew what she was talking about.

EDIT, SINCE I THINK THERE’S SOME CONFUSION:

I am not talking about a modern-day adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I am talking about an adaptation set in Regency times, in that historical setting, but with a cast of color and with an awareness of modern-day audience sensibilities and the modern lens and showcasing that many of our modern-day values and issues were the same in Regency times. Or at least the same to Austen, and something Austen noticed and commented on.

For example, Wickham is a predator. He’s not just an asshole marrying women for money, he preys on younger girls. He preyed on Georgiana and then on Lydia. Part of why he stopped talking to Lizzie was she was too smart for him and would’ve figured him out. And Austen points this out in Lizzie’s horror. It’s part of why Lizzie’s so angry with her father and how she realizes her father isn’t perfect either - his apathy about Lydia led to Lydia not being raised to recognize danger signs.

There are still men like Wickham out there today. They’re the men who only date teenagers or women half their age. Wickham arguably went after Georgiana for her money but he went after Lydia for her youth, because unlike the older Lizzie, Lydia was too young to realize what Wickham was. That is still relevant to us today and is still something we’re concerned about today, and it can and should be shown through a historical lens.

We shouldn’t have to change the setting to a modern one to get people to figure out how fucking brilliant Austen was. I want it in Regency times, showcasing to a modern audience what is already in the book.

[thehandflextm]

My Immortal...but make it Pride and Prejudice

For my final project, I decided to rewrite My Immortal (the infamous fanfiction) as if the original author were writing a Pride and Prejudice fanfiction instead of a Harry Potter one! I do not own My Immortal nor do I own Pride and Prejudice! Basically none of this is my original text, all credit goes to Tara Gilesbie and Jane Austen.

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! Dis stry is like if lizzy wuz goth so itz nut boring! MCR ROX!

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Hi my name is Lizzy Dark’ness Dementia Raven Bennet and I have long curly brown hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I live in a town called Longbourn with my parents, my three younger sisters, and one older sister (I’m twenty). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Longbourn. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Lizzy!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Fitzwilliam Darcy!

“What’s up Mr. Darcy?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard my sisters call me and I had to go away.

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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My sister, Jane (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length blond hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

“OMFG, I saw you talking to Mr. Darcy yesterday! Did you know he has ten thousand a year?!” she said excitedly.

“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

“Do you like Mr. Darcy?” she asked as we left our shared bedroom and went downstairs.

“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

“Yeah right!” she exclaimed. Just then, Mr. Darcy knocked on the door! One of the servants opened the door and he  walked up to me.

“Hi.” he said.

“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

“Guess what.” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, Charles Bingley and I are hosting a ball at Netherfield Park” he told me.

“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love going to balls!. Dancing is my favorite thing to do, besides reading or walking or drinking blood.

“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK I KNO THEY DIDNT HV GOFF CLOSE N 1800S!! I JS WNT THEM TO BE GOHT! odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! FANGS AGEN RAVEN!.

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On the night of the ball I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the ball.

I went outside. Mr. Darcy was waiting there in front of his carriage. He was wearing a his normal fancy clothes and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

“Hi Mr. Darcy!” I said in a depressed voice.

“Hi Lizzy.” he said back. We walked into hisblack carriage and drove to NetherfieldWhen we got there, we both hopped out of the carriage. We went to the dance floor and danced together.

“That violinist is so fucking hot.” I said to Mr. Darcy, pointing to him as he played, filling the room with his amazing music.

Suddenly Mr. Darcy looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

“Really?” asked Mr. Darcy sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know him and he’s not even rich.” I said disgustedly.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Mr. Darcy. After the ball, we drank some wine Mr. Darcy and I crawled back into the carriage, but Mr. Darcy didn’t go back to Longbourn, instead he drove the carriage into……………………… the forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok lizzy’s name is LZIZY nut mary su OK! DARCY IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

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“MR. DARCY!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Darcy didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Lizzy?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Mr. Darcy leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then…………… suddenly just as I Mr. Dacry kissed me passionately. Darcy climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was…………………………………………………….Mr. Bennet!

Chapter 5.

AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the breakfast room, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses just like Mr Darcy’s. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko. He was here with some other officers to visit my sister, Lydia.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s George Wickham, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Mr. Darcy came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 6.

AN: stop flaming ok! i skipped time cuz the middle is boring lul so jus pretnd it al happned!MCR ROX!

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I was trying to sleep when suddenly, an horrible woman with beady eyes and wrinkly skin and everything started knocking on the door! She was wearing all black but it was obvious she wasn’t gothic. It was…… Lady Catherine de Bourgh!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Lady Catherine grabbed my arm and I couldn’t run away.

“Let me go!” I shouted at her and scratched her arm. Lady Catherine fell on her but and started to scream. I felt bad for her even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Lizzy.” she yelled. “Thou must not marry Fitzwilliam Darcy!”

I thought about Mr. Darcy and his sexah eyes and his black hair. I remembered that Mr. Wickham had said that Mr. Darcy was evel, but he told me himself it was all Wickham’s fault!

“No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” she yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall tell everyone about how Lydia and Wickhma had sex before marriage !”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Lay Catherine got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on her face. “Everyone thinks that already.” she answered cruelly. “And if you doth marry Darcy, then thou know what will happen to your sister!” she shouted. Then she ran away angrily.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Dracy came into the house.

“Mr. Darcy!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you were mean to Mr. Wickham.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed “Will you mary me?”

“Yes!!” i said exitedly and we went back into Longbourn together making out.

Chapter 7

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!!111 if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!!!11 omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait!!! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak.

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Mr. Darcy and I went to Jan’e swedding to Mr. Bingley and we were all happy and clapped when they kissed! Even tho I’m goth, I stil love my sister and am glad she’s happy. Mr. Darcy and I announced our engagement and everyone was happy. My mom fainted with hpapiness because she knew he was rich lolz. My dad didn’t want tme to marry him at first bcuz he though Drayc was meant to me but I told him i loved him so it wuz ok.

Whe got married and i wore al black corest, red fishnets on my legs and purple fishnets on my arms ,a blakc lace vail, and a lether black skirt. Mr Darcy told me I was beautiful and now we’re married!

[beyond-the-yellowbrickroad]

Movies Watched in 2019 - Filmes assistidos em 2019 (part two / segunda parte)

111. About a Boy (2002) Directed by Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz

I liked it a lot! The Kid is amazing and just imagine my face when I found out he was Nicholas Hoult…

112. Hotel Mumbai (2018) Directed by Anthony Maras

It’s a very heavy movie to watch, even more because is based in a real life history… the amazing cast helps to make it even more realistic.

113. Toy Story 4 (2019) Directed by Josh Cooley

I’m angry and very disappointed. It may sound childish of me because “people change” and “leave our lives” but was that really necessary? I think NOT!

114. Widows (2018) Directed by Steve McQueen

I didn’t like it that much but it was probably my fault… I was expecting something more like Ocean’s 8, but it’s completely different from that. Anyway, the cast is great.

115. Final Destination (2000) Directed by James Wong

116. The Final Destination (2009) Directed by David R. Ellis

117. Final Destination 5 (2011) Directed by Steven Quale

So I re-watched all of the “Final Destination” Series at once, and I had the most fun!

I had already seen de second and the third one when I was little (I was about 6 or 7, grown ups were crazy in the early 2000′s) but I had never seen the others and, for my surprise, I loved almost all of them! (I really don’t like the fourth one and I rather pretend it doesn’t exist)

The second one is still my favorite, but the others are as crazy and fun! I LOVED IT!

AND THE ENDING OF THE FIFTH MOVIE, OMG, I WAS NOT READY!!!

118. Liar Liar (1997) Directed by Tom Shadyac

Jim Carrey making funny faces for no reason for 86 minutes straight

119. John Wick (2014) Directed by Chad Stahelski

120. John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017) Directed by Chad Stahelski

121. John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum (2019) Directed by Chad Stahelski

So I also watched all the “John Wick” movies all at once and all I can say is: it’s really great to see treined assassings kill people to revenge their dogs and to see Keanu Reeves being amazing, sexy AND kicking other people’s asses.

122. The Perfection (2018) Directed by Richard Shepard

I saw this weeks ago and I still am absolutely shocked with everything that happened in this movie

123. Us (2019) Directed by Jordan Peele

Literally, a masterpiece of horror and comedy. The cast it’s incredible!

124. The Lion King (2019) Directed by Jon Favreau

Nice, but… it’s the same as the original, but more… dull. Impossible not to have fun though, because it’s the same movie as the original.

125. Long Shot (2019) Directed by Jonathan Levine

Now I really want to go to a club with Charlize!!

126. The Angel (2018) ‘El Ángel’ Directed by Luis Ortega

Beautiful photography, and the cast is really great! The music is also incredible.

127. Hello, My Name Is Doris (2015) Directed by Michael Showalter

It’s a nice reminder that everyone has it’s own time for doing things… sometimes you star things eary and sometimes, other things happen in life before others, and that OK! I loved it!

128. The Lake House (2006) Directed by Alejandro Agresti

It’s romantic, well done and super interesting! Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock looked so good together! I really loved this sci-fi love story.

129. Pride & Prejudice (2005) Directed by Joe Wright

Honestly, everything is absolutely pefect in this movie… like when Mr. Darcy always look’s like he’s about to throw up everytime Lizzie is around, how Mr. Bingley is an absolutely sunshine, how Jane it’s his perfect match, how Lizzie is perfecly sassy and smart… I, obviously, and I can not stress this enough: THE HAND FLEX!!! (and when Mr. Darcy cofesses his eternal love to Lizzie in the rain and them they fight and them they almost kiss… AMAZING CINEMA!)

I loved the movie and I can’t wait to finally find time to read the book too…

130. Creep (2014) Directed by Patrick Brice

131.  Creep 2 (2017) Directed by Patrick Brice

Both weird movies, but the first one is more amazing because you spend more than a half of it not knowing what it’s happening.

132. Vox Lux (2018) Directed by Brady Corbet

Natalie Portman is amazing and this movie is also weird.

133. Austenland (2013) Directed by Jerusha Hess

A thriling saga to my Pride and Prejudice / Jane Austen obcession…

So, the fake Mr. Darcy (Mr. Noble) looks like young Tom Hiddleston so now I have a huge crush on him.

Also, I think it’s a very fun movie and I had a good time.  

134. Good Sam (2019) Directed by Kate Miles Melville

Fun, I guess… honestly, the romance was unecessary.

135. Almost Famous (2000) Directed by Cameron Crowe

The bus scene when they all are down and then suddenly starts singing to “Tiny Dancer”… The most beautiful thing I saw in my life.

136. The Losers (2010) Directed by Sylvain White

It’s a very fun movie!

But I have an observation: It just don’t sound truthful that people would make fun of a hot, nerdy, super uncle, not being that good with girls Chris Evans… really, he is absolutely hot and cute in this movie, it just not make sense!

137. Sing (2016) Directed by Garth Jennings

I watched this because of Taron Egerton singing “I’m Still Standing”, but I loved it for so much more!!!

138. Candy Jar (2018) Directed by Ben Shelton

Fun for spending the time.

139. The Red Sea Diving Resort (2019) Directed by Gideon Raff

Nice movie and great cast!

(also, I know thi isn’t the point but Chris Evans is beautiful in this movie to)

140. The Jane Austen Book Club (2007) Directed by Robin Swicord

I loved this so much, but I also feel kind of sad because I don’t have friends to make a Jane Austen book club with me and also I will never get married with nerdy and cute Hugh Dancy.

141. The Hustle (2019) Directed by Chris Addison

Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson deserved better!

142. The Sun Is Also a Star (2019) Directed by Ry Russo-Young

I don’t want to be mean but, this was horrible!

143. Descendants 3 (2019) Directed by Kenny Ortega

This movie was already going to be very emotional because is the last one of the trilogy, but the recent evens with the super talented actor Cameron Boyce, it was twice as emotional... I cryed a lot.

Also, the movie is increadible in every way: the songs, the dancing, the characters, the cast... I loved it!

144. Brightburn (2019) Directed by David Yarovesky

Well, that was a disaster...

145. Parasite (2019) ‘기생충’ Directed by Bong Joon Ho

Okay, so this movie... there’s so much to talk about this movie...but I don’t want to spoil it... BUT,  everything is absolutely PERFECT! OMG! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!

146. Otherhood (2019) Directed by Cindy Chupack

Great cast, fun to watch!

147. The Craft (1996) Directed by Andrew Fleming

ICONIC!

148. Wild Child (2008) Directed by Nick Moore

EMMA ROBERTS: I’m sorry for every time that I sayd that you were not a great actress. You are, and this movie is a masterpiece.

149. Mandy (2018) Directed by Panos Cosmatos

That was a crazy ride and I LOVED IT! Nick Cage it’s amazing in this and I really love this scrypt.

150. Falling Inn Love (2019) Directed by Roger Kumble

This couple is so beautiful and I really wish they could date me as well.

151. Did You Hear About the Morgans? (2009) Directed by Marc Lawrence

I did not like the movie that much but the cast is nice, so is not that bad to wach.

152. Bacurau (2019) Directed by Juliano Dornelles, Kleber Mendonça Filho

This was, honestly, the best thing I saw the entire year. It made so happy and proud of my own culture, and was so increadible to watch, with a great cast and characters that are truly amazing... and as if all of this wasn’t enough, the movie (as a coincidence) talks direcly with Brazil’s currently politic scene. 

When the movie was over, I felt like crying of happines... I so proud o f brazilian cinema and how it gets better and bigger each year!!  

PURE PERFECTION. 

153. Between Two Ferns: The Movie (2019) Directed by Scott Aukerman

There was scenes that I really found funny and there were times that I was just confused... but I liked it.

154. Last Holiday (2006) Directed by Wayne Wang

QUEEN LATIFAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!

Honestly, this movie is everything a romcom should be... PERFECT! 

155. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) Directed by Lasse Hallström, Joe Johnston

I’m absolutely angry with the fact that Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen in the same movie and they even looked at each other! CRAZY THING RIGHT?

156. Rumor Has It… (2005) Directed by Rob Reiner

Just imagine a world were Jenifer Aniston and Mark Ruffalo are a couple... 

The movie was SO WEIRD!!! (but good) 

157. It Chapter Two (2019) Directed by Andy Muschietti

The first one still is my favorite, BUT this is so great... I’m not even going to begin to write about the cast, ‘cause everyone knows it’s absolutely PERFECT, but really, BILL HADER GUYS! JUST, AMAZING.

Anyway, I did not got even a little scared, but who cares, it’s a great movie.

Also, the scene were Bill Skarsgård  show up without the Pennywise makeup... his acting was SO GREAT!

 158. Midsommar (2019) Directed by Ari Aster

Today I saw someone describe this movie as “a bunch of white people killing other people and dancing in circles” and honestly, this is the perfect description for this.

159. Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé (2019) Directed by Beyoncé Knowles

i CAN’T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE FEELINGS I FELT SEEING THIS! This woman is beautiful, super talented and a genius! 

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BEYONCÉ IN THE MAKING!! 

160. Frozen (2010) Directed by Adam Green

HORRIBLE! OH MY GOD! I FELT SO BAD WATCHING THIS, IT WAS TERRIFYING! OMG!

161. Hush (2016) Directed by Mike Flanagan

I NEVER FELT SO UNCONFORTABLE IN MY LIFE! Truly a good idea for a scary movie and a very well executed one to! Loved it!

162. El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019) Directed by Vince Gilligan

The perfect ending for one of the best suporting characters on a TV Series.

163. Little Monsters (2019) Directed by Abe Forsythe

Lupita Nyong'o deserves way more recognition from the Movies Industry because she is so great and even with a fucking OSCAR on her shelf, she barely has any leading characters on her career and is SO UNFAIR!

This movies is funny, scary, the cast is great and there’s Shake it Off by Taylor Swift was sang by a bunch of kids and Lupita dressed on a beautiful yellow dress all dirty of zombie blood, sooo... you should go and watch it!

164. The Blair Witch Project (1999) Directed by Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sánchez

The movie it’s okay until it gets on it’s last 15 to 10 minutes... then so much starts to happen and you just want to stop seeing it, but can’t because you want to know the ending of it, and it’s so scary and crazy... Really I totally get why lots of people are crazy about this one... SO SCARY!

Also, look out for the website they made for the three filmakers that “disapeared” ( AKA were killed by the Blair Witch), it’s so good and there’s a lot of more information that makes the movie even more scary.

165. Yesterday (2019) Directed by Danny Boyle

It could be SO GOOD! But it was SO BAD! Lili was this movie, the guy that played Richie in Skins was in this movie and I still did not like it... The sountrack was made by BEATLES SONGS and I still did not like it... SAD.

166. The Witches (1990) Directed by Nicolas Roeg

NOT A KIDS MOVIE! Really, it’s so scary! OMG!

167. Shaun of the Dead (2004) Directed by Edgar Wright

It’s a very diferent zombie movie, but I really liked it! 

168. Maid in Manhattan (2002) Directed by Wayne Wang

IT WAS JUST LIKE CAMP ROCK!!

Very cheesy, not the best romcom I ever watched, but also not the worse... If you want a good JLopez movie, go see Monster In Law!

169. Monster House (2006) Directed by Gil Kenan

ALSO NOT A KIDS MOVIE! This was actually very little apropriate to kids and so fucking sacry, OMG, how this was made up to be a kids movie? 

170. mother! (2017) Directed by Darren Aronofsky

I will never get over this movie, I feel marked for the rest of my life, thanks very much Aronofsky! (no, really, THANKS!)

171. The Meddler (2015) Directed by Lorene Scafaria

Honestly, the “I was visiting my daughter, she just shot a pilot!” joke was THE BEST THING I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE! Also, “I have to go home, my hands are loud!”.

172. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Directed by Stephen Chiodo

I don’t even know what to write about this one... It was weird and not scary at all, but was kind of... diffent? I mean, you don’t get literally scared but you feel unconfotable, like, a lot! Go check it out and you will hopefully understand what kind of feeling I’m trying to describe, it’s just... weird.

173. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) Directed by André Ovredal

WHAT ON EARTH PEOPLE KEEP MAKING THOSE SUPER SCARY MOVIES ANT SAYING THEY ARE FOR KINDS? This was so scary Jesus, and It was great. But not for kids.

If you read the books I don’t know how you going to feel about it, but in my experience from movie adapttions from books, you probably going to feel like shit. But I did’t read the books and loved it, so, you might to :)

174. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) Directed by Joe Berlinger

Not ever close to be as great as the first one, it’s crazier, more things happen and you still feel crazy with the characters, but, it’s not as great. But it would be a great stanalone, if the first one did not existed. 

175. Vacation (2015) Directed by John Francis Daley, Jonathan M. Goldstein

This is a comedic MASTERPIECE and I CAN NOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! 

I love comedy movies, but I always expect to much of them... but this served me EVERYTHING that a good comedy should have to make me laugh until my breath runs out. LOVED IT!

176. Walk the Line (2005) Directed by James Mangold

Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon are absolutely babes and so increadibly talented! 

The movie is a bit slow (maybe only if you not a particularly big Cash fan), but is great! 

177. Love Happens (2009) Directed by Brandon Camp

Jennifer Aniston is amazing and goergeous as always but I didn’t conect with the characters so... it didn’t work to much for me, but it’s not bad eigther.

178. John Tucker Must Die (2006) Directed by Betty Thomas

Talking about perfect comedies, this is ONE OF THEM! FOR SURE! 

179. You’ve Got Mail (1998) Directed by Nora Ephron

I’ve got three things to say:

One: TOM HANKS

Two: I could never date someone that led me to bankruptcy, I could however punch this person multiple times.

Three: MEG RYAN!!!

180. The Prince & Me (2004) Directed by Martha Coolidge

Okay, so I was not expecting anything big from this movie and I only watched it because of Julia Stiles, BUT OMG I’m so thakfull that I gave it a chance, because it’s an amazingly done cliché and the Prince it’s totally hot!

 181. Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) Directed by James Bobin

I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT IT WAS SO GOOD! I really wasn’t expecting that! SO GOOD! 

182. Me Before You (2016) Directed by Thea Sharrock 

méh.

But Emilia, I want to be your best friend!

183. Late Night (2019) Directed by Nisha Ganatra

To Queens that almost coused my death because of how much a I laughed in this... it’s ligh, fun and dramtic and real... AMAZING!

184. Let It Snow (2019) Directed by Luke Snellin 

Kiernan Shipka and  Mitchell Hope singing The Whole of the Moon awakend my bissexuality.

Shameik Moore and Isabela Merced to!

185. When Harry Met Sally… (1989) Directed by Rob Reiner

MEG RYAN!!! 

So... this is the movie that every fanfic is based on? I really loved it!

186. Bringing Down the House (2003) Directed by Adam Shankman

Queen Latifah always brings a smile to my face... she’s perfect!

187. Joker (2019) Directed by Todd Phillips

Huum... Joaquin Phoenix it’s a very great actor, OMG! 

188. Penelope (2006) Directed by Mark Palansky 

It was very hard for me to watch this movie and not get distracted by James MacAvoy’s perfect face and body and not so perfect hair in this one, but does anybody really care? It’s beautiful James McAvoy! 

Also, the movie is so great! I didn’t knew about the plot and I was so surprised! It’s very, very good! 

I love the final scene when Penelope just let’s the children run wild while she swings with her hot boyfriend...

“Take of your mask!” ~proceds to kiss Christina Ricci very dramaticly~

189. Mad Money (2008) Directed by Callie Khouri

Everything about this movie was PERFECT

190. Baywatch (2017) Directed by Seth Gordon

Great opening scene, the rest was kind of a mess.

191. Noelle (2019) Directed by Marc Lawrence

CUTE! CUTE! CUTE! 

But I will complain about the lack of Bill Hader content.

192. Every Day (2018) Directed by Michael Sucsy

Another surprise this year, a very good one! 

It’s cute and dramatic, also, this actress kissed every teeneger and young adult in Hollywood!

193. Over Her Dead Body (2008) Directed by Jeff Lowell

A good and weird movie! Gave a few laughs. 

Paul Rudd is in it, so, totally worth it!

194. The Skeleton Twins (2014) Directed by Craig Johnson

A dramatic, surprising and “few good” comedy! 

I really wish I could hang out on Halloween with Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig...

195. Eat Pray Love (2010) Directed by Ryan Murphy

I didn’t quite understood her journey but I quite liked it. 

Veeeery long movie.

196. Death at a Funeral (2007) Directed by Frank Oz

197. Death at a Funeral (2010) Directed by Neil LaBute

I know I should have loved the original version more but the american version... I don’t know what it is (probably the many actors that I absolutely LOVE), but I coul not stop laughing! 

James Marsden was an absolute STAR! 

198. The Other Woman (2014) Directed by Nick Cassavetes

I wish I could personally thank Cameron Diaz for every great movie I watched because of her.

Thank you, Mrs. Diaz! 

That last scene was peak COMEDY!!!

199. The Back-Up Plan 2010 Directed by Alan Poul

JLo! PERFECT!

Honestly, I was thinking this movie was going to be very problematic, but it wasn’t that much... it was actually pretty cute! The birth scene was sacry and funny at the same time!! 

200. Muriel's Wedding 1994 Directed by P.J. Hogan

Don’t judge me, I didn’t liked it, it fact, It made me feel pretty shitty, so I just wnat to forget that it existis. 

[corsetsandlemons]

The Corset & Lemons meme is going strong and there are tons of weird/fun/sexy prompts in there!

Some prompts you can find there!

Emma Emma realizes she’s been in love with her good friend Harriet all along.

The Count of Montreal Cristo: Eugiene Danglars/ her friend Loyise Eugiene Danglers eats out her friend Louise in the carriage as hey elope to Italy.

Pride and Prejudice Darcy/Bingley Lizzie just had a baby, but Darcy has needs. Of course, he goes to Bingley for a quick pick me up. That's just what best friends do.

Dracula - Dracula/Jonathan/Mina [dub-con] What happened the night Dracula was found in Mina and Jonathan's bedroom, her drinking his blood and Jonathan passed out on the bed? Their friends only saw this final scene, but Dracula definitely had his way. With both of them.

the three musketeers, aramis/porthos they make good use of aramis's almond paste to keep his hands soft. *cough*

Three Men In A Boat, Jerome/George/Harris outdoor/boat sex, threesome

Moby dick ishmael/queequeg Nice languid sex along that sweet lulling of the sea

Fills up until now!

Alice in wonderland/Through the looking-glass - Alice/Others (tw: dub-con, underage, bestiality) sex pollen (complete fic)

Frankenstein - Creature/Elizabeth Lavenza/Victor Frankenstein wedding night threesome (complete art)

Frankenstein - Creature/Elizabeth Lavenza frankenstein meets a paradise lost (complete fic)

I Promessi Sposi/The Bethroted - Cardinal Federico Borromeo/Innominato Soiling kink (complete fic)

Jane Eyre - Bertha Rochester/Edward Rochester (tw: non-con) Locked in the attic (complete fic)

Pride and Prejudice - Elizabeth Bennet/Fitwilliam Darcy Leaving the cravat on (complete art)

Pride and Prejudice - Georgiana Darcy/Fitzwilliam Darcy (tw: incest, underage) Darcy comforts Georgiana (complete fic)

Pride and Prejudice - Elizabeth Bennet/Georgiana Darcy/Fitzwilliam Darcy (tw: incest) Daddy/mommy kink (complete fic)

Pride and Prejudice - Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy Pregnant baby bump (complete art)

Pride and Prejudice - Elizabeth Bennet/Caroline Bingley (tw: dub-con) Caroline seduces Elizabeth away (complete art)

The Little Mermaid - Little Mermaid/Sea Witch the Sea Witch offers the Little Mermaid true immortality (complete fic)

The Secret Garden - Colin Craven/Mary Lennox/Dickon Sowerby (tw: incest) Colin Likes to Watch Mary and Dickon (complete fic)

The Secret Garden - Colin Craven/Mary Lennox/Dickon Sowerby (tw: underage, incest) Colin Mary and Dickon play doctor (complete fic)

The Vampyre - Aubrey/Lord Ruthven (tw: dub-con) spiralling down a vortex of attraction and loathing (complete fic)

I Promessi Sposi/The Bethroted - Cardinal Federico Borromeo/Innominato Priest kink (complete fic)

Come and join us

Here is a very ordered list of prompts you can search and filter so that everything is easier!

[compo67]

bingley x darcy

i need more fic about them. NEED.

hi! hello! it’s been a bit. 

i’m back on my bullshit and watching pride & prejudice (BBC) every chance I get

i’m sure my TV is like NOOOOO, BITCH, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

BUT I JUST NEED A MAN WHO HAS TEN THOUSAND A YEAR

i’m tired and therefore slap happy XD

i had some major appointments last week, both went well

hepatologist aka the liver dude is worried about NASH and wants me to consider bariatric surgery options, which i’m dead set against 

mr. bingley’s sisters are probably the inspiration for Donna in Photo Op

anyway! there’s not much to do until the next MRI in October in regards to the tumors and transplant

my liver is a ticking time bomb and it’s very likely that i’ll need a new one no matter what i do, within the next 10 years

i’m very, very slowly accepting that

i saw a neuromuscular specialist last week too, my first visit ever

we’re looking into autonomic dysfunction since i have two conditions--EDS and Sjogren’s--that make m predisposed to it

gotta get a tilt table test done and an ultrasound on my elbow

we think when i dislocated my elbow on 08/04, i caused some damage to the nerve or misplaced it etc. since now i have numbness and sharp pains in certain places on that arm

my typing is also much slower and i have to hold my arm at a certain angle to avoid too much numbness

are we to be murdered in our beds?!

oh mr. bennet, we are all ruined! 

/laughs maniacally/ 

ahem

so! got all that out of the way. nothing earth shattering or super different than what i expected

though i guess it’s a Thing that i’m basically running up the mileage on my liver until i need to trade it in--like a car of some sort

but why think of that when i can fawn over colin firth as mr. darcy??? 

superb, you fucking socially awkward gentleman, superb

i got some lab results back today--looks like my b12 is fairly low, so i wonder what we’ll do about that (no shots!)

my left knee has been bothering me all weekend (too much walking? weather change? ugh)

so i’ve been sleeping with my knee brace on and my wrist brace 

sexy, i know

the work i did for a zine has been getting good attention though! 

and the work i’m doing for another zine has been coming along

how is such a man to be worked on???

^^^ i think that line a lot

i wish i had another day off 

i had a three day weekend, can’t complain at all, but just one more day D:

i forgot to order my tall caramel macchiatto as decaf earlier and wow i’m so awake and yet so tired XD

let’s have a great week!

i hope we all find a man who has ten thousand a year <3

[chuuyasvoicecracks]

I just finished watching Pride and Prejudice (1995) and can we PLEASE talk about Mr Bingley. I didn't really have an opinion of him in the book tbh but the series made me love him. He's so friendly and adorable, and that smile? And bright blue, twinkly eyes? Wow. Wow. I honestly couldn't function properly whenever Darcy and Bingley were in the same room because they both have so much appeal...Darcy is mysterious and sexy and Bingley is just so loveable. He reminded me of an excited puppy, so innocent and eager to please.

[andrethegiant3001]

You Owe Me a Fifty

Summary:  Will Darcy knows that one day his thing with Elizabeth Bennet is going to get him in trouble. He’s also not nearly strong enough to stop it. Modern AU in which Lizzie has to plan Jane’s wedding and Darcy just wants a dance (and maybe something more).

The first thing that Will Darcy notices about Elizabeth Bennet is that she seems remarkably skilled at convincing others to make horrible decisions.

Within the first hour of their acquaintance, she manages to convince Charlie, Will’s self-proclaimed best friend and Elizabeth’s sister’s new boyfriend, to order all his food while doing his best Sean Connery impression, challenges their waiter – who is a guy around their age and clearly unopposed to obliging a pretty girl’s silly requests – to make her one collective drink out of every non-alcoholic beverage on the menu, and tricks Darcy into believing that his drink was spiked by the same waiter she was flirting with moments earlier.

He doesn’t really care if she was flirting with him or not. He just thinks it’s relevant to the context of the story. That’s all, okay?

He calls her impulsive and irresponsible. She returns the favour by quite bluntly telling him that he’s prick with a stick up his arse. They argue throughout most of the evening, attracting the attention of just about every other person in the restaurant. The entire affair makes Jane and Charlie very uncomfortable. To say things get off to a rocky start would be a huge understatement.

And then, somewhere between the second and third hour of their insanely tense ‘get to know your best mate’s/sister’s significant other’ dinner, Elizabeth makes a quip about Darcy being a craptastic wanker, and instead of insulting her back like she expects him to, Darcy laughs because he doesn’t think he’s ever heard a more ridiculous insult. And then Elizabeth laughs. And suddenly, the atmosphere shifts and everything is entirely too friendly and not nearly as hostile as moments ago.

They spend the rest of the night talking to each other and basically ignoring Charlie and Jane, who stopped listening by the second hour of arguing anyway. Lizzie contests basically all his opinions, but it’s not because she dislikes him, it’s because she genuinely has reasons to disagree. He can barely think about how intriguing she’s become to him over the euphoria of having an actual conversation.

He’s pretty sure that he’s been severely deprived of them because of the amount of time he’s had to spend with Charlie’s sisters.

By the end of the night, Darcy and Lizzie are acting like they’ve known each other for years. They part ways after the meal and Darcy doesn’t know when he’ll see her again. He expects it to fade away, just like all the other acquaintanceships he’s made over the years.

And that’s probably what would have happened…if Lizzie was just about any other girl on the planet.

But she’s the Elizabeth Bennet, so things between them inevitably escalate.

It all starts with a snapchat he gets about a week later.

He hates Snapchat and told her as much during dinner, but she refused to listen and downloaded it on to his phone. He doesn’t know why he won’t just delete it.

(It’s not like he’s keeping it just in case Lizzie snapchats him. Cause that would be ridiculous.)

She asks him if he wants to come over because she’s had a bad day and Jane can’t hang out. Even though he has a pile of work the size of the Eiffel Tower, he says yes, because all of a sudden, he’s incapable of saying no to women he’s only spent five hours with.

He suspects that it’s not women in general, as much as it’s Lizzie Bennet that he is unable to say no to.

After that, it becomes a thing. Whenever one of them has a bad day, they call up the other. They cook and argue and watch dumb movies they find on Netflix (most of them with one-star ratings). They spend their free time together and Will will admit that spending time with her is always the highlight of his day.

Then all of a sudden, there’s a shift. Lizzie invites Darcy to a wedding as a date. Well, it’s kind of a date. They never call it a date, but that’s what it feels like. Lizzie makes a joke of it. She says that she needs him around at horrible events like these because he’s the only one that will make very loud, snarky comments with her. He goes along with it because she’s right. They’re both much too judgmental for their own good and it feels weirdly appropriate to do this with each other. So then that becomes a thing to; inviting each other to painful social events to stay entertained.

It never develops into something explicitly. They’re not acquaintances or friends. They’re just Lizzie and Darcy. Like Batman and Robin. Or Scully and Mulder if things between them hadn’t gotten so sexual.

He still thinks they should have stayed platonic, but he’s also a sap for a good love story. His feelings for ‘The X Files’ are pretty inconsistent.

(His feelings for Lizzie are pretty inconsistent too…)

He also quickly finds out that he was one hundred percent right when he observed that Lizzie was good at convincing people to make bad decisions.

He loses track of the number of mistakes he makes during the course of their strange thing, from the time when she dares him to make a sexual innuendo out of every sentence he says at a rather boring dinner party with Charlie’s sisters, to the time when she gets him well and truly smashed while on a lunch date at a fancy restaurant with his cousin, his cousin’s fiancé and his surly aunt. All his worst ideas seem to be planted into his mind by her.

Like that inception shit! She was the inceptor!

… He really shouldn’t reference movies he hasn’t seen.

And the bad decisions only intensify in number and degree when they start sleeping together. Will honestly isn’t sure how it starts.

Except he kind of (completely) knows how it starts and it’s kind of (completely) his fault.

They’re watching Die Hard on the day before Christmas Eve, when he starts complaining about the unrealistic qualities of the movie. Lizzie cuts him off with a rant about ‘movie superiority complex’ and how he should try shutting his brain off for two hours to enjoy at least one part of his fucking miserable life.

Okay, so he’ll come clean. Sometimes he complains about things just to get her to argue with him. He likes watching her as her voice takes on that passionate tone, her posture straightens, and her cheeks flush a little because she gets so worked up. But the best part is at the end, when she smirks at him because she thinks she’s won.

When she looks that sexy he’s pretty sure that he’s the only one winning.

She keeps going, oblivious to the fact that he isn’t really listening to her, but instead intently staring at her lips as she continues to spit rapid fire word vomit at him at a hundred miles per hour.

And then he does the thing. The stupid thing that is definitely going to get him in trouble somehow. The stupid thing that he’s spent such a long time convincing himself not to do. The stupid thing that will most likely destroy him and the small amount of willpower that he still possesses regarding Elizabeth Bennet.

He leans in and kisses her. Catches her completely unaware as he cuts off what he’s sure was a winning speech on the positive qualities of Die Hard.

It’s probably the worst decision he’s ever made, and Lizzie didn’t even make him do it.

But when she responds eagerly to his lips on hers and pulls him down with her when she falls back onto the couch, allowing him to settle himself between her legs and explore every curve and groove of her body, he can no longer remember why this is such a horrible idea when it feels so fucking good.

He pushes her shirt up, letting his mouth move lazily across the skin of her stomach and grins against her skin when she gasps unceremoniously as he gets closer and closer to the edge of her underwear.

Yup, this definitely means trouble.

That leads to a whole new category of inappropriate things she can convince him to do at the most inappropriate times.

And honestly, who is he to refuse her when she pushes him into the closet at Charlie’s house – or anywhere else she pleases– and kisses him until his head is spinning, before proceeding to do some other very inappropriate things to him and then slipping back out, acting as though nothing happened.

A year and six months after Jane and Charlie start dating, he asks her to marry him and she enthusiastically agrees, to Lizzie’s absolute horror. From what Darcy understands of the situation – which is very little – Lizzie now has to plan Jane’s wedding. He’s fairly certain that it has something to do with a bet or a deal they made when they were younger, but he honestly hasn’t the energy to comprehend such things.

He doesn’t have a clue why Lizzie would ever make any kind of deal involving weddings. She hated them with a passion.

After rigorous planning on Lizzie’s part, the big day finally arrives.

Darcy doesn’t think he’s ever seen Lizzie more stressed than in the hours leading up to the wedding. She’s practically pulling her hair out as she phones everyone in the city, confirming arrangements with everyone from the florist to the magician that’s coming in to entertain the children at the reception. He doesn’t really know what he should do, so he does what he does whenever he doubts his course of action. Nothing. He figures that it’s best to stay out of Lizzie’s way until she comes to find him.

And she does just that around an hour before the ceremony. He’s (reluctantly) making polite conversation with Caroline Bingley when she comes up to them, pulling him away with some unconvincing excuse of having to verify the meal plans that he’s sure she’s personally verified more than enough. Then, once they’re out of everyone’s sight, she pushes him into an empty room.

As soon as they’re in the room, she slots her lips to his and kisses him intensely, barely giving him any time to respond. He finally wraps his arms around her waist and opens his mouth when she runs her tongue over his bottom lip, deepening the kiss. His hands slide down her body and she grins against his lips when they grab her ass. She breaks the kiss, quickly moving to down to work on his jaw and neck.

“Lizzie?” He says in a strained voice.

“Yeah?” She says as she kisses her way down his body slowly, sucking whenever he moans quietly and slowly undoing the buttons of his dress shirt.

“Remember how we talked about finding appropriate times for this?” He barely makes the words come out as he feels her hot lips travelling down his chest and to the area right above his belt buckle.

“No, I don’t seem to recall,” she smiles up at him, and it takes all his strength not to just give in right then and there. Her pupils are blown wide, her lips are slightly red from when they were on his and her makeup is done to perfection. She looks absolutely stunning.

Goddamn, she is actually going to be the death of him. He is so screwed.

(Pun fully intended.)

“Well, Charlie and Jane’s wedding is definitely an inappropri-” he cuts off with a groan as she undoes his belt buckle and he feels her hot breath just above his briefs.

Instead of going down any farther (like he kind of wants her too) she stands up slowly, pushing him against the wall and bringing their lips as close as possible without touching.

“You were saying?” She whispers, then lets her gaze fall to his lips once again.

He’s the one to close the distance, bringing their lips together in a kiss that wakes up every part of his body and makes her moan into his mouth just a little too loudly.  

He convinces himself that this is her doing, her fault that he does irresponsible things. But he knows that’s wrong. He just can’t help himself.

The wedding is beautiful and all of Lizzie’s hard work as the maid of honour/wedding planner extraordinaire pays off. Her mother cries, her sisters shoot Jane jealous looks and her father lets a tear slip as he gives away his oldest daughter. Even the cold, unfeeling cockroach that is Caroline Bingley seems touched by the ceremony.

She’d probably feel differently if she knew who had organized it.

Everything looks perfect, down to the last flower petal, just how Jane likes things. The only downside is that Darcy can’t stop staring at Lizzie the whole fucking time.

She just looks so goddamn beautiful and she’s not even the one getting married.   

That thought just causes a whole series of completely inappropriate images to flash through his mind, all of them involving Lizzie wearing a wedding dress.  

He’s not sure how this happened. He knows that it all started as a casual fuck. They had been good friends, but not dependent on each other. They had both been opposed to a relationship, so everything had been good to go. Zero feelings involved.

Except, somewhere in between being her friend and her fuck buddy, Will realized what it meant for them to be both at the same time. It meant something more.

And it’s become something more. At least it has for him. Now, he wants to stay the night whenever they sleep together and then make her tea in the morning. He wants to be able to greet her with a hug in public that lasts just a little longer than it should and catch the smiles she sends him that are only for him.

That may be a problem. Elizabeth Bennet is not his type. Well, not in a relationship at least. He’s used to professionals, which sounds weird because a relationship is as personal as it gets, but the girls he usually dates are rigid, uptight and neatly reserved. They serve his public life. He is a corporate lawyer after all. He needs someone he can take to a professional event that won’t try to expose that he’s ticklish or something.

Elizabeth Bennet is a lot of things, but professional is not one of them. He’s not sure he could convince her to be boring for even one evening. He also doesn’t think he would want to. Lizzie is bright, mysterious and funny. The very opposite of boring.

And he honestly doesn’t think he could watch her turn into anything else, even for the sake of his career.

Despite these sane, rational reasons as to why he shouldn’t turn their current relationship into something more, he finds himself wanting to anyways. Sure, he has  fancies outside of his type before, but usually it’s purely physical. A quick shag once or twice and the feeling is gone, and he can move on to his next ‘professional girlfriend’. But he’s already with Lizzie in a purely physical sense and it’s still not enough.

Regarding Lizzie’s feeling for him, her emotions were always a mystery. He doesn’t know if she’s interested in something more, but he does know that he’s not willing to bruise his ego for a girlfriend.      

Or a fiancé. Or a wife…      

HOLD YOUR HORSES, DARCY! THAT’S GOING A LITTLE FAR!   

No, he’s fine with being her fuck buddy who’s in love with her on the side.      

Wait to make it sound pathetic.

His table at the reception is the strangest grouping of people he thinks he’s ever seen. Calling Jane and Charlie’s families incompatible would be an understatement. The Bennet sisters spend the entire time gossiping about high school drama, while Caroline looks downright scandalised to have so many low-level people sitting near her. Mrs. Bennet can’t seem to shut up, going on and on about how proud she is of Jane and how beautiful she looks and how handsome Charlie looks. Charlie’s parents, who have to listen to all of this, look ready to jump off a bridge. Mr. Bennet stays silent for most of the night, but Darcy occasionally catches him shooting smiles at Lizzie, his favourite daughter.

He can’t blame Mr. Bennet for picking favourites because she’s Darcy’s favourite Bennet sister too.

Despite the noise and chaos, he’s happy. Lizzie grips his hand under the table whenever her mom says anything particularly embarrassing and he runs the pad of his thumb over her knuckles in a fashion that he hopes is comforting. She spends the entire dinner whispering stupid jokes in his ear and daring him to do ridiculous things she knows he won’t follow through on. It’s a little exciting, knowing that they’re the only ones that know about them.

You know what would be even more exciting?

If everyone knew.

He spends the entire reception trying to spend some time with Lizzie. He can’t help it, he really just wants to pull her into his arms and drag her out on the dance floor. He hates dancing. He’s good at it because his mum put him through so many dancing classes when he was younger. He used to complain constantly about how it was a useless skill, but his mum would always respond with a secretive smile, claiming that she was sure it would come in handy someday.

And now at the age of twenty-six, he finally understands what she meant. He’s happy that he can bring a girl out on the dance floor and know exactly what he’s doing. He can’t imagine how mortifying it would be if he didn’t know how to dance at all. Unfortunately, this realization is quite useless when Lizzie is literally running around the entire place trying to make everything run smoothly.

He tries to catch her, but each time, without fail, she manages to smirk, say something flirty and then run away. He’s starting to wonder if he did something wrong and she’s doing it on purpose.

In the end he does get his dance though. It’s not until Jane and Charlie have left for their honeymoon.

Charlie and Jane were enchanted by the evening. Their words not his, although if he’s being honest, he’s pretty enchanted by it all too. He can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be in Charlie’s position.

Or what it would be like to have Lizzie in Jane’s position.

Man, he really needs to just shoot himself at this point.

Once most of the party has cleared out, he finds himself cleaning up the reception room which is one of the ballrooms of a very nice hotel. He knows he doesn’t have to because the hotel workers who are actually getting paid will do it, but his mum always taught him to clean up after himself and he’s never quite been able to let that go.

He feels someone’s (Lizzie’s) hands encircle his waist and spins around to bring his lips to hers, lifting her up as she kisses him back. He can feel her smile widen against his lips.

This. This feeling is what he wants to feel all the fucking time.

He lowers her to the ground and and looks into her eyes which suddenly brighten.

“I have an idea,” she whispers excitedly.

“You do?” He teases, and she moves away from him and turns around, sticking her tongue out at him over her shoulder.

She moves over to the mixing table and plugs her phone into the aux cord. Her eyes skim over her phones as she looks for a song, then turns around as the first couple chords come out of the speakers and shoots him a dramatic look.

“Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band,” she sings loudly and clearly, closing her eyes and throwing her head back.

He laughs and she opens her eyes and smiles at him. She keeps singing and walking towards him as though she’s serenading him.

He loves it when she’s like this. At times like this, she manages to make him someone he’s not. Someone that doesn’t care what others think. He becomes interesting around her. Every moment with her is an adventure. She’s getting into the role and trying to pull him in too, and heaven knows he can’t refuse her. He starts singing every other line, like they’re having a conversation that was written by Elton John.

They keep singing the lines of the song back and forth as she gets closer and closer to him and when she’s finally close enough, he grabs her waist and pulls her into his chest, singing lowly as the music continues on.

He leads her around the room, using the skills he developed over the ten years he thought had been a waste, and enjoying the feeling of dancing for the first time in his life.

“This is a fantastic song to dance to Liz.”

“Really? It was either this or U Can’t Touch This,” she hums and he laughs softly.

“Must have been a pretty tough competition,” he kisses her collarbone, delighting in the way she reacts to his touch.

“It was, it took me all night to decide.”

“Oh, so that’s why you’ve been putting off this dance with me,” he tries to keep the relief out of his voice, but he’s pretty sure he fails.

“Yup,” she pops the p, “well that and the fact that if I danced with you, Lydia, Kitty and my mum would start planning another wedding before this one could even finish,” she rolls her eyes.

“And that would be bad,” he says it like a statement but he’s pretty sure he means it as a question.

Something flashes across Lizzie’s face. It��s a hint of fear or vulnerability. The same emotion that comes across anyone’s face when they’re questioning a relationship they don’t know how to define.

But then it’s gone and she’s smiling again.

“Trust me, you don’t want my mum or my sisters on our case,” Lizzie sighs and nestles her head against his chest, casting her eyes away from his as they rock back and forth lightly. It effectively shuts off the conversation and as much as he’d like to enjoy the feeling of Lizzie in his arms, he finds himself thinking about the flash in her eyes. That moment in which both of them could have dared to ask the question.

Would it really be so bad if people found out about them?

The song is about to end and for some reason, he knows he’s going to ask. He knows he’s going to ask the question because now it’s floating around between them. He’s not sure if the thing he feels right now is entirely new, so maybe it’s been hovering over them for a while now. The new part is that now they’ve acknowledged it.

As the last note fades out, Darcy squeezes her hip lightly so she’ll look up at him, “Lizzie, I think we should-” his voice catches in his throat because she’s staring at his lips. Her hands, which were previously hanging lightly around his neck, are now moving down his back, sending shivers down his spine.

She smirks, “You were saying?”

“I think we should-” he cuts off with a groan when she shifts one of her legs in between his and kisses her way up his jaw, nipping and licking whenever she feels like it.

“Lizzie,” he warns. He knows that it’ll just make her want to tease him more. She likes him like this, fighting hard to win against her, but not being able to.

He decides to take a different route, “I have to clean,” he’s a little embarrassed at how breathless he sounds.

She scoffs at his lame excuse, “How about you do that right after you take me up to your hotel room?”

He groans dramatically letting his head fall down on to her shoulder.

“Oh no, I’m Will Darcy and a sexy, intelligent, stable woman wants to have sex with me! What a tragedy!” Lizzie imitates, her voice going an octave lower in a hilarious attempt to sound more like him.

“Sexy and intelligent I can agree with,” he whispers into her ear, “but stable? Have you met yourself Lizzie?”

“Many times, and I can confirm that I am an absolute delight-” he cuts her off with a kiss which she quickly returns, taking it deeper before he can even realize that he initiated it.

“So your room?” She giggles between kisses.

“Yeah, okay.”

Goddamnit Darcy, when did you become such a pansy?

They keep it together in the lobby and down the halls of the first floor before finally breaking in the elevator when she melts into him and kisses him squarely on the mouth, swiping her tongue against his bottom lip. He grabs her arse so he can lift her up and press her against the wall of the small compartment.

He’s too busy snogging her senseless and feeling every inch of exposed skin he can to hear the elevator ding way earlier than it should. Or the elevator doors sliding open as him and Lizzie continue to make out, completely unaware of anyone watching.

He becomes very aware the second he hears a high pitched shriek. Lizzie pushes him away, looking absolutely mortified as she stares out the elevator doors. Darcy reluctantly turns around, only to be met by the incredulous looks of two identical sixteen year old girls.

Yes, Lydia and Kitty had caught them making out. And for the record, it was all Lizzie’s fault. If she hadn’t kissed him in the elevator, then none of this would have happened. He should’ve known that her mischievous ways would get them caught sooner than later

“I don’t know what you two think you just saw,” Lizzie starts, walking out of the elevator towards them, her eyes absolutely menacing, “but it was nothing. Got it?”

Ouch…

(Yes, he knows that she doesn’t mean that and just wants to get rid of them, but still… ouch.)

Darcy settles for standing in the door of the elevator to keep it open. He really doesn’t want to get involved.

One of them sniggers – he thinks it’s Kitty – and says, “That didn’t look like nothing. I’m proud of you Lizzie. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if you had it in you.”.

Lizzie just stares at her, astonished. Will is sure that Lizzie’s about to tear them both down, but before she can say anything, Lydia steps in, “I believed in you Liz. Which reminds me,” she turns on Kitty, “you owe me a fifty.”

Kitty sighs while Lydia continues to grin wolfishly, apparently extremely proud of herself.

“I take it back, I’m not proud of you. I thought you had self control. Dignity. You were the sister that wasn’t supposed to throw herself at every hot guy that walked by,” Kitty shakes her head, but then she turns her head to Darcy and looks him up and down, “but I guess he isn’t just any hot guy,” she smirks at Lizzie.

“Did I just get checked out by a fucking sixteen year old?” It just slips out and Darcy realizes that he literally has no more control over any of his actions.

“Eighteen,” Kitty and Lydia snap at the same time.

“What a huge difference,” Lizzie says sarcastically, rolling her eyes at them.

“It is actually,” Lydia says matter-of-factly.

“We’re legal now,” Kitty throws in.

“Oh my god, that’s disgusting,” Lizzie groans.

Darcy can’t help it, he lets out a laugh. All three Bennet sisters turn to him.

“Do you find my pain funny?” Lizzie asks.

“No,” he says cautiously, “but you have to admit this is all pretty funny.” She doesn’t look amused so he keeps going, “I mean, we’re caught snogging by your sisters. Turns out they’ve been betting on us all along and, to top it all off, they start hitting on me. I mean, it’s kind of bloody hilarious.”

And then both Kitty and Lydia let out a laugh and suddenly he’s laughing along with them and now Lizzie’s the only one that looks put out by the situation. He lets go of the elevator door and walks over to her, taking her hand in his and pulling her towards him.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Let’s just get rid of them and then we’ll talk,” he says to her. She sighs, but then nods her head reluctantly.

“Okay whatever,” she turns to her sisters, “I’ll cut you a deal. You keep your mouths shut about what you saw, and in exchange, I’ll pretend that I didn’t see you guys sneaking out of your room to get drunk and flirt with guys at the hotel bar,” Lizzie says casually.

Lydia and Kitty scowl at her, but then nod their heads.

“Okay deal,” both Lydia and Kitty stick their hands out and Lizzie shakes them. It all feels much too formal and drug deal-esque for a family agreement, but Will can’t really judge considering his own family.

Lizzie and Darcy stick around while Lydia and Kitty wait for the elevator. The doors are about to close when Lydia says, “A piece of advice, you guys should just go public already. Everyone’s waiting for it. Also, I have a lot of bets on you guys so the sooner it happens, the sooner I get my money,” and that’s when the doors close and all that’s left behind is Lizzie, Darcy and tension.

His three favourite things.

Neither of them know what to say. He feels her pain. He can’t even imagine the mortification and endless teasing that would be warranted if his sister had caught them, and he actually liked Georgie.

“So… your sisters know,” he says carefully.

“They’re not my sisters. They’re little devils,” she says bitterly and he laughs lightly.

“Hey,” he says, putting his finger under her chin and lifting her head up so he can meet her eyes, “We can just explain that we’re not serious. Or we can go back to being friends. Crisis averted.”

He hopes that he doesn’t sound as pathetic as he feels because he really does not want to go back to being friends. On the other hand, if that’s the only way he can be with Lizzie, he’s okay with that.

“Okay… so let’s call that plan B,” she says slowly, taking a deep breath, “but I think that plan A should be telling people about… us.”

“Us?” He asks blankly.

“Yeah,” she continues nervously, “and maybe instead of pretending that this is some casual thing, we could actually go on a date and be a real thing.”

“A real thing?”

“Yeah,” she smirks, “and maybe you could actually say something to reassure me. I’m really going out on a limb here Will.”

And in response to that, he just kisses her. He’s never been very good with his words, but he’s really good at other things. Lizzie slides her hands into his hair, playing with it and pulling him even closer as she lets his tongue search her mouth.

She pulls away and catches her breath, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

In response, he just pulls her in for another kiss.

So yeah, maybe Will makes bad decisions when he’s with Lizzie. But at least they’re making them together.

[pandplit]

Chapter 7

💉💊Metro Bennet’s own stacks consisted almost entirely of an estate of two thousand bones a year which unfortunately for his daughters was going to go straight to a male heir, a distant relation, and their mother’s stacks, though ample for her situation in life, couldn’t really make up the difference. Her father had been an attorney in Meryton and had left her four thousand bones. She had a sister married to a Mr Phillips who had been a clerk to their father and succeeded him in the business and a brother settled in London in a respectable line of trade.

The village of Longbourn was crazy close to Meryton which made it easy for the young ladies to go HAM on visits, sometimes three or four days a week, to their aunt and to the Milliner’s shop just over the way. The two youngest of the family, Catherine and Lydia, were there particularly often. Their minds were more vacant than their sisters and when they weren’t busy face-jerking, a walk to Meryton was a good way to waste some time and gather some goss for the evening. However tacked the country in general might be, they always managed to get something out of their aunt. At present indeed, they were well supplied both with news and good vibes by the recent arrival of a militia regiment in the neighbourhood. It was to remain the whole winter and Meryton was the headquarters. Their visits to Mrs Phillips now became sexy little spy visits. Everyday added something to their intelligence on the officer’s names and connections. Where they were staying was not long a secret and at length they began to know the officers themselves. Mr Phillips visited them all, which opened up for his nieces an ark of the covenant amount of joy that almost melted their faces off. They could talk of nothing but officers and Mr Bingley’s large fortune, the mention of which made their mother a bit hot under the collar, was worthless in their eyes when opposed to the regimentals of an ensign.

After listening one morning to them yapp on and on about the subject, Metro cooly observed, “Its my cool observation, girls, that you are probably the most clueless ladies in the country.”

Catherine was disconcerted and made no answer but Lydia, with perfect indifference, continued to express her admiration of Captain Carter and her hope of seeing him in the course of the day as he was going the next morning to London.

“I am astonished, my dear,” said Mrs Bennet, “that you would so easily dropkick your daughters like that. If I wanted to insult anyone’s children it wouldn’t be my own!”

“If my children are boneheads, dear, I would rather be aware that they’re boneheads.”

“Yeah but as it happens they’re actually rather smart.”

“Babe, we connect on a lotta levels but this is not one of them, I dissagree, I think theyre dimmer than average”

“My dear Metro, you must not expect such girls to have sense of their father and mother, when they get to our age I dare say won’t be spending all their time getting horny over officers.”

“I remember a time when I liked those camo slacks a whole lot and indeed maybe I do still, y’know, just a little bit, yeah, and if a smart young colonel with five or six thousand bones a year should want one of our girls then I’m not gonna say no, and I thought Colonel Forster looked very, um- platonically very good, the other night, at Sir Williams’

“Umh, I needa lie down”

“Mama,” cried Lydia, “my aunt says that Colonel Forster and Captain Carter don’t go so often to Miss Watson’s as they did when they first came, she sees them now very often standing in Clark’s library.”

Mrs Bennet was stopped from replying by the ding of an email notification for Miss Bennet. It came from Netherfield and it had the little red flag symbol meaning that it was important. Mrs Bennet’s eyes lit up, they exploded, they sparkled with joy as she started screeching. She was making the most ridiculous noise while her daughter read.

“Well Jane who’s it from and whats it about? What does he say? Come on, I’m busting out of my skin here, Jane tell us!”

“It is from Miss Bingley.” said Jane and then read it aloud.

“Sup fam,

“If you don’t dine today with Louisa and me we may legit fall out for the rest of our lives, cause you know two ladies together that’s gonna end in a fight, beam your ass over here as soon as you see this email, my bro and his hans are dining with the officers

“xoxo Caroline Bingley.”

“With the officers,” cried Lydia, “why didn’t our aunt tell us about that!”

“Dining out though,” said mrs bennet, “that’s unlucky.”

“Can I take the beamer?” said Jane.

“No my dear, you better go on the Vespa, because it seems likely to rain, and then you’d have to stay all night.”

“That would be a good scheme,” said Elizabeth, “except you don’t know whether they’d other her an uber.”

“Okay but the gentlemen are already out on the town, right, so they’ll be using theirs and the hearse don’t have a nice car.”

“I’d much rather take the family ride.”

“But my dear. your father can’t spare it he needs it for work, you need it for work, right, Metro?”

“I need it for all kinds of things way more often than I can get it.”

“But if you need it today specifically,” said Elizabeth, “mum will be very happy.”

She did finally squeeze out of her father that indeed the car was needed. Jane was therefore obliged to vesp it up and her mother danced behind her all the way to the door checking her weather app and smiling.

Her hopes were answered, Jane had not been gone for more than a few minutes when it started raining real hard. Her sisters were worried about her, but her mother was delighted. The rain continued all evening, there was no way Jane was coming home.

“This was a very lucky idea of mine.” said Mrs Bennet more than once as if she’d started the rain.

Till the next morning, however, she wasn’t fully aware of what she’d done. Breakfast was scarsley over when a message arrived in the family whatsapp group from Jane.

“hey team- super sick this morning 🤢 which is probably because i got all wet yesterday 🌧 🌧 the guys here really dont want me travelling until I’m feeling better they also insist on me seeing doc jones 💉 💊 so don’t freak out if you hear about him seeing me its really not a big deal, just a sore throat and a headache catch ya later -J x”

“Well, my dear,” said Metro, when everyone had finished reading the message, “if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness and fall over dead at least it’s nice to know that it happened chasing boys.”

“Oh I’m not afraid of her dying, people dont die from that shit, she’ll be taken care of and the longer she stays there the better I’d go see her if i could have the car.”

Elizabeth, feeling really anxious was determined to go to her but since the car wasn’t available, and she didn’t have a scooter license, walking was her only alternative. She declared her resolution.

“How can you be so crazy in the coconut,” Cried her mother, “as to think of such a thing, in all this dirt, you’ll get fucked up like a football bat and you won’t be fit for a good snorgle by the time you get there!”

“I’ll be fly enough to see Jane which is all I want.”

“Is this a hint to me, Lizzy,” said her father, “to bring the car around?”

“No, I don’t want to drive, I want the walk. distance is nothing when one has a motive, it’s only three miles, I’ll be back by dinner.”

“I’m feeling your kind spirit,” observed Mary, “but every impulse should be guided by reason and, in my opinion, effort should always be in proportion to what is required.”

“We will go as far as Meryton with you.” said Catherine and Lydia

Elizabeth accepted their company and the three young ladies set off together.

“If we make haste,” said Lydia as they walked along, “perhaps we may see something of Captain Carter before he goes.”

In Meryton they parted. The two youngest slumped off to the lodgings of one of the officer’s wives and Elizabeth continued her walk alone crossing field after field at a quick pace, jumping over stiles, springing over puddles with impatient activity and finding herself at last within view of the house.

With weary ankles, janky dirty stockings, and a face glowing with the warmth of exercise she was shown into the breakfast parlour, where all but Jane were chilling and where her appearance created a great deal of surprise. That she should’ve walked three miles earlier in the day in such horrible weather and by herself seemed turbo cray to Mrs Hurst and Miss Bingley and Elizabeth would swear down that they were judging her for it.

She was welcomed though, very politely, and in their brothers manners something slightly beyond politeness. There was good humour and kindness. Mr Darcy said very little and Mr Hurst nothing at all. The former was kinda torn, the glow that all that exercise had given her was definitely tickling his fancy, but he also thought that it was kinda melodramatic and unnecessary for her to come this far alone. The other one was just making love to his breakfast.

Her inquiries after her sister didn’t get the best results. Miss Bennet had slept ill and although she was up, was still feverish and not well enough to leave her room. Elizabeth was glad to be taken to her immediately and Jane was super psyched to see her. She didn’t want to spook anyone but she had longed for such a visit. She was not up to much conversation however, and when Miss Bingley left them together all she could really do was mumble about her gratitude for the extraordinary kindness she was being treated with. Elizabeth silently attended to her.

When breakfast was over, they were joined by the sisters, and Elizabeth began to take a shine to them herself when she saw how legit nice they were being to Jane. The doc showed up and having examined his patient said, surprising no one, she had caught a violent cold and they should try and get the better of it. He told her to get back in bed, and wrote up a script for some flu meds and soup. They followed his advice for the feverish symptoms increased and her head ached a lot. Elizabeth never hit the slide nor would the other ladies often absent. With the boys being out, in fact, they had nothing to do elsewhere. When the clock struck three, Elizabeth thought it was time to go even though she didn’t want to. Miss Bingley offered her a ride but Jane made a commotion about not wanting her to go so eventually the offer of a ride was converted to an invitation to remain at Netherfield. Lizzy thankfully accepted and added to the whatsapp group.

“Staying the night, can somebody prime now me so PJs?”

This chapter was lovingly transcribed by Zuz.

[ao3feed-janeausten]

You Are Soft Like Morning Light

You Are Soft Like Morning Light Read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Lynbk1g by Artifice_Elixer “Off, take this off,” she demanded, scrabbling at the front of his clothing.  He complied, but not before swooping down and capturing her mouth again. They both struggled to free him from his confines, but with limited success. She couldn’t help but laugh against his mouth a bit. He growled back in return, finally tearing himself free of his shirt tails. They actually did have to separate to get him out of his trousers but she considered it a necessary sacrifice because soon he was standing before her, gloriously naked, and panting with want.  She pulled him into the tub with her. Words: 5989, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet, Charles Bingley Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Wedding Night, Porn with Feelings, Fluff and Smut, Established Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Vaginal Fingering, did I accidentally make Darcy a little bit of a masochist?, mayyyyyyyyybe, Communication, Consent is Sexy, don't @ me for indenting my paragraphs, I don't wanna hear it via AO3 works tagged 'AUSTEN Jane - Works' https://ift.tt/b0GSo4e July 29, 2022 at 01:42AM