#darkside!logan

[various-incorrect-nonsense]

Logan: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Remus: How did you find us?

Logan: I saw your ad on craigslist.

[indo-kindo1]

Thomas’s mind palace

At the heart of this extraordinary realm was Anxiety, the eldest of them all. Anxiety had always been there, even before Thomas could remember. His constant presence made him the de facto leader, though he was also the most anxious of the bunch.

Around two weeks after Thomas's birth, a tiny giggle filled the air, and Morality came to life. Morality was a cheerful and earnest character who took it upon himself to guide Thomas's sense of right and wrong, always encouraging kindness and empathy.

As Thomas approached the end of his first year, Logic emerged, countering the whimsical creations of Creativity and the formidable Duke in his mind. Logic brought order to the chaotic world of imagination and served as a voice of reason.

In the shadowy corners of Thomas's mind, the Dark Sides lurked. They were born when Thomas was first told "no," and that raw emotion ignited Rage. Another incident, when Thomas broke a plate and lied out of fear, gave birth to Deceit.

Then there was Malice, created when Thomas's best friend from first grade betrayed him for a simple sucker. Malice was a brooding character, fueled by the pain of betrayal.

Amidst this turmoil, the Gray Sides watched from the sidelines. Sleep, the personification of Thomas's need for rest and respite, coexisted with Pinici, his childhood dream friend. Together, they symbolized the longing for moments of calm amidst the cacophony of emotions and experiences.

All these characters, each with their unique personalities and roles, lived together in Thomas's head, not as one, but as a complex tapestry of thoughts and emotions, shaping his actions and decisions throughout his life.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

Papa Logan (DarkSides Family AU)

I mentioned Logan being a dad to young Emile and Patton, so here's the extension of that! Love me some nerd dad content <3

Trigger/Content Warnings: mention of homelessness & poverty, mention of bullying (descriptive)

Logan adopted the kids

He'd been substitute teaching at the time and was subbing for a middle school class for a while cause the original teacher was on maternity leave

so that's he met Emile and Patton, because he taught their class

Patton and Emile always seemed to have the same clothes everyday so Logan wondered if they were alright

like he worried about them

and he grew very fond of them, since they did their best to pay attention and they loved learning about the subject (it was a science class, so yeah)

Patton had once mentioned liking animal-related sciences and Emile seemed to like psychology and sciences about human behaviour

they were Logan's fav students

it turned out Emile was mute and had some hearing issues, so Em always did ASL to communicate (and usually only talked to Patton cause he seemed like the only one who knew ASL as well)

Logan picked up on the signs of them being homeless pretty quickly (same clothes everyday, seemingly always dirty, eating a lot during lunch time cause they didn't really get food outside of school)

he also picked up on them being siblings (they were literally always together, unless they had different classes or something)

Patton is a year older than Emile, so he's the big brother, & they're in different grades BUT Patton will go with Em to zir classes cause the school doesn't have an interpreter for some reason?? idk it's a sucky middle school

yeah, and that sometimes results in Patton skipping his own classes for his sibling's sake, which also worried Logan a little bit when he learns of it

Side Note: Emile uses ze/zir/zem (neopronouns, yus) but doesn't figure that out until a little closer to high school, but I'll still refer to zem as such

anyway: once Logan realizes Emile is basically deaf/hard of hearing, he starts to always put subtitles on videos for class to help zem (and ze appreicates it and f*cking loves Logan's class and now he's zir fav teacher)

okay so, one day while driving home, he sees Patton and Emile walking on the sidewalk, all dirty n sh*t (this only confirms his suspicions of them being homeless and it kinda hurts his heart cause they're good kids)

he silently debates on asking the kids to visit him right then and there cause that's kinda weird for adults to do that to kids, like don't be weird-

so he's like that would be kinda weird and creepy for me to do, so maybe I can talk to them at school tomorrow, cause he still wants to help them out, he's already managed to grow attached to them anyway

and yeah, he asks them to stay after class, since it's their last class anyway (it's literally at the end of the school day when he sees them, so yeah)

and he asks them about 'how they're doing at home' and they give each other this look like uh oh, I think he knows and then they get kinda anxious about it (cause some kids have been mean about it before, those little jerks)

Logan sees their nervousness and is like "Just curious to see if you'd need extra help or tutoring, cause then I'd have to call your guardians to discuss it." and then the kids are basically like oh he definitely knows, we are so screwed cause for some reason they think being homeless = being bad (idk why, some dumbf*ck from their past was a meanie, ya know prob a bully or something)

Side Note: the kids have been homeless since they were like, idk in fifth/fourth grade? so let's say they get adopted by Logan when they're in sixth/seventh grade; so like 2 to 3 yrs maybe?? (oof, poor kiddos)

yeah, and the convo goes to Logan offering to tutor them like, at a local diner/coffee-n-bakery place for a few weeks (he notices their grades aren't the best anyway, since they don't really have a place to get homework done)

he avoids saying anything about their homelessness cause he doesn't want to cause them any more anxiety over it

and then the siblings kinda agree, it's a public place and make they'd get to have food outside of school for once (Logan offers to pay for some snacks or whatever every time they're tutored so they're energized for schoolwork)

So: they do the tutoring and it helps the kids get better grades and their other teachers notice their grades getting better, and are kinda relieved cause they're good kids/good students

at some point, something happens: a lil meanie-head decides to pick on Emile for whatever reason and makes of fun of zir deafness & although ze can't hear them, it's kinda obvious because of the gestures to zir ears and how it gets kinda physical, and a buddy of the dumb-dumb bully like grips Patton and holds him back from being able to help his little sibling and Patton is crying and screaming and trying to break free to help but can't, and it's Patton's worst fear that he can't help Em and now that's happening and he can't do anything, Em is crying and shaking, Patton is also shaking and sobbing for his sibling

Logan happens to be on break at that time and hears the commotion (thank god) and then sees the whole thing happening and this paternal instinct kicks in and he does what he can to diffuse the situation and they go all to the principle's office/nurse's office (Logan makes sure to keep the bullies and the siblings separated for safety reasons)

as soon as Logan drops the meanies off at the principal's office and makes a brief/straight to the point explanation of why, he and the siblings head immediately to the nurse's office so they can get patched-up and taken care of

Logan refuses to leave the kids' side because he's very worried and scared for them

Side Note: at some point of knowing Emile and Patton, Logan learns ASL to help communicate with Em

As the nurse bandages and assesses the kids, Logan tells her what had happened (at least, what he saw) and mentions how the bullies are currently facing the principal's wrath (get rekt)

the nurse is like "again?" and Logan nearly does a double take and is "what do you mean, 'again'??"

and thus the nurse mentions how she usually sees this pair in her office a lot but they never told her why and now she knows and feels bad (she's tried to like, call their parents or something; but that's how she figured out they had none since no adults were even listed on their info)

oop, and now Logan is even more worried and his heart hurts cause NO KID SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BS (it's not your fault the others are so mean, why do you look so sad and guilty?)

and yep, protective mode has been activated in the nerdy space boi

so yeah, after the kids are set to go back to class (though they really should rest but they insist on heading to class to avoid being a 'problem' [they're not a problem, pls give them a BREAK, jesus]), Logan tells them that they can always come to him if needed for anything and that he wants them to know his classroom is always open and is a safe space when things are hard/bad/scary

which makes the kids tear up a little cause they haven't really had a safe space in a while

btw, what happened to their parents?? not even the author knows, and I don't think I wanna know, it's prob very sad and this is already making me cry (what have I done?)

and yep, Logan keeps a very watchful eye on them now

fast forward to a week later, Logan ends up adopting them [I got lazy here, sorry folks]

yus, movie nights with subtitles on

talking and signing in conversations to help Emile

teaching Emile how to read lips to help zem understand new things and new people

turns out Em and Pat are very energetic and mostly both have a form of ADHD and/or autism (maybe Em has the tism and Pat is the one with ADHD? like cause you can still be a little hyper with the tism, it varies for everyone)

yus and Logan nuturing Emile's psychology obsession

listening and hearing out the kids' latest hyperfixations and getting them stuffies/stuff animals/plushies from their fav shows n sh*t

both kids love Disney and cartoons (Avatar: The Last Airbender is one of their favorites, and of course Steven Universe as well)

Sometimes Logan wishes he had someone to help him around the house or help take care of the kids, but not like a partner per se, just like a friend who can co-parent with him

But his friends are all already parents, and he'd doubt any of them have the time

Plus he loves the kids and he doesn't know if having a stranger would be a good idea anyway

Little Patton baking with Papa Logan? Yus

Idk, space boi would be a neat dad

Omg, the first time the kids refer to him as 'dad' or 'papa'? Yeah, he shows much emotion and just is so weak for his kids

Emotional Logan, anyone?

Also, Logan has the tism (I will die on this hill)

Thus he understands, to some degree, different things about his kids when it comes to them being neurodivergent

All neurodivergents in this household

Logan letting a pun or dad joke slip cause his son love them and little Pat teasing him about it

Logan helping Em with zir homework cause it's confusing or the teacher couldn't explain it well

Logan going to PTA meetings sometimes to advocate for kids like Emile and Patton that need extra support at school (he would)

Logan correcting his kids' grammar but learning to do it in a kinder/soft way so the kids knew it wasn't a bad thing, just that certain words went like this and others go like that, and yes I know it can be confusing but it'll be okay I'll help you figure it out

Okay, I seriously love Logan as a dad, though. I kind of gave up after a little bit, so I'm sorry about that. Hopefully this isn't too bad.

Let me know if y'all want a taglist for this au, or if you want to be tagged at all.

[Masterlist]

[rottentiger-art]

Logan and Quinn look stunning and pull off powrrul couple vibe 😎😎

Abso-fucking-lutely, the movie's gonna be like:

They're EVERYTHING. She's just Zoey

[hyperfixated-homo]

its thinking about reverse!sides hours

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Almost, A Light in the Dark

2 : Embrace of the Darkness

Virgil gets a surprise visit after the wedding and after an even more surprising turn of events he ends up having to keep everything secret, it was Roman's last request before he left, after all.

----

| <- Previous Part | Ao3 |

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4462

Notes:

This is Virgil's POV of the aftermath, what happens after Roman sinks out? etc. This chapter is quite a bit shorter than the other one, but I wanted it to be separate, so here we are!

Please enjoy! And feel free to send asks (I love asks) and/or reblog if you do!!!

----

Virgil didn’t even know the wedding had been going on, in all honesty. He had tried so hard to forget about it that when it came to it he’d not even shown up at all, he knew it was happening now, of course, he could feel Thomas’ anxiety over the whole situation. 

He didn’t care that much either way. It’s not like he wanted to be there for the inevitable disaster that would unfold afterwards. He was content with staying in his room, lying on his bed watching recordings of old MCR concerts and hoping whatever disaster would soon sweep the mindscape would graciously avoid involving him. If Patton and Janus faced off then- depending on who came off worse- he probably wouldn’t get involved. Janus would avoid him- like he does anyway- if he had ended up worse off from the arguments. Patton might come and see him, but ultimately he would probably go to Logan.

If Logan ended up worse off from this whole thing - which Virgil doubted, though he knew the logical side had problems of his own - he would lock himself in his room until he’d figured it out.

And if it was Roman, he would come to Virgil. Or, maybe he would have come to Virgil if this had happened a few weeks ago.

Something had happened to Roman after the courtroom. Virgil couldn’t help but notice how he’d started to become more distant. He’d started spending more time in his room or in the imagination, he’d stopped coming to famILY dinners that Patton had arranged, he’d stopped joining them in group activities altogether. Virgil couldn’t fathom why he’d stopped coming. Roman seemed to love all the events, always took pride in the movie nights, loved beating them in board games. Virgil just… he didn’t know why Roman had stopped.

Of course Virgil worried, he and Roman might not have had the best relationship before, but it had been getting better, or so Virgil had thought. He’d assumed that they were at least friends now, but then again, Roman had been avoiding him since the episode with the puppets. Of course Virgil was worried, he was anxiety for goodness sake, he’d probabably worried about Roman more than enough for at least three people, but he just didn’t know what to do about it. 

So if Roman had ended up coming out worse from the wedding then… Virgil found he didn’t know where he would go.

Not moments later, his door slammed open, spilling light into his dark room. The bang made him jerk in surprise, sitting straight up and staring at the figure in his doorway. Maybe Virgil shouldn’t doubt himself so much, because it was Roman who stood there. He couldn’t help but relax just slightly, if only because maybe this meant that their friendship hadn’t been completely ruined by whatever it must have been that he did. 

Roman looked distraught, Virgil thought, which brought right back the worry that had left him when he realised it was Roman. There were tears dripping down his cheeks, though he didn’t seem to care. He was shaking, but standing tall in a way that screamed he was determined to work through it. He still had a hand on Virgil’s door where he’d slammed it open.

“The wedding was that bad, huh?” Virgil said, trying to open lightly, he hoped it would calm Roman down a little, he’d only seen the guy look this determined when he was fighting monsters in the imagination, Virgil wasn’t sure he wanted that determination turned on him.

“You could say,” Roman answered through gritted teeth, “I’m pretty sure I fucked up.”

“What’d you do?” Virgil asked, setting aside his laptop and standing up. If Roman wanted to talk about it he would, and Virgil would listen.

“I’m leaving.” Roman announced, instead of answering his question, his tone made Virgil jump, because there was absolutely no room for an argument there, not that he would try, arguing with a determined Roman was already a fruitless endeavour before you even started, “I- I can’t stand to be here anymore, and I wanted to tell you before I went, because- well- I suppose because you’re- you.”

“...Leaving?” Virgil asked, confusion edging into his voice, “Where would you go?”

“With Janus and Remus,” Roman answered, Virgil’s eyes widened, “If they’ll take me, if not, well, I suppose I don’t know, maybe some far corner of the imagination, or the subconscious with Remy perhaps.”

“You’re- you’re going to the dark side?” Virgil asked, and if his wide eyed expression wasn’t already portraying it his tone definitely held his disbelief, “Why?”

“Because,” Roman said, “I certainly don’t belong here, and besides even if I wanted to stay I doubt you all would want me.”

“Roman- what- you- you do belong here! You certainly belong here more than I do-” Virgil said, now standing right in front of Roman, “And why the hell wouldn’t we want you?”

“I just yelled at Patton, and Thomas,” Roman said, stepping back, “I ruined everything when I chose to go to the wedding, I’ve made- made so many stupid fucking mistakes, I’m a terrible prince and nothing like the hero Thomas needs, Virgil.”

“So you’re… just gonna go?” Virgil asked in a voice smaller than he’d intended, “Just- leave?”

“That’s the plan,” Roman nodded, “I uh- I actually wanted to ask if- you wanted to come with me?”

“You… want me to go back?” Virgil asked, it was his turn to step back. 

“You don’t have to!” Roman immediately amended, “Just- I know you used to live down there so I- just thought I’d offer.”

“I…” Virgil sighed, “I hope it makes you happy, Roman.”

Roman looked down.

“I really do, I um- but, I’m not close with Janus or Remus, not anymore,” Virgil said, “I ruined those relationships when I left, and I don’t think there's much going back for me.”

“Oh,” Roman said softly, “Well- I suppose this is goodbye, then.”

“Always one for the dramatics, huh,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes, “You’re still going to be Thomas’ Creativity, you know, you can’t change your function by going to the dark sides. He’ll still need you.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Roman said, before bowing low with a flourish, “I suppose this is simply farewell for now, then. I shall see you soon, stormcloud.”

Roman winked at him before he began to walk down the hall, Virgil couldn’t help but step out of his room to watch Roman go. He stopped at the stop of the stairs that descended into the commons and turned back, a strained smile on his face when he turned back to Virgil.

“Keep this a secret for me, if you could,” Roman said, “I’d like to keep them from looking for me for as long as I can.”

“Alright,” Virgil said, taking a deep breath, “Be careful, Princey.”

Roman saluted him, before sinking out.

—-

Roman had been missing for three days since the wedding.

Virgil, of course, knew what had happened, where he had gone. But… Roman had asked him not to tell them, so he wouldn’t, not yet at least.

His room had disappeared almost immediately after he had, as well as his door to the imagination that used to sit at the end of the hall, of course they had all noticed, but Patton and Logan were yet to put together the cause, so Virgil had decided pretty easily to act ignorant as well. 

The next day Patton had tried to call Roman up during a discussion with Thomas about how to move forward, next steps with his content and such. Stuff that Roman should really help with. When they had tried, Janus had shown up in his place, flipped them double birds before sinking out again. They didn’t try to call Roman again that day.

Two days later it seemed that Patton couldn’t stand avoiding it anymore and called him and Logan to a meeting in the commons. They stood in silence for a while, before Logan sighed.

“It feels strange to be having a ‘family meeting’ without Roman present.” Logan sighed.

“Yeah,” Patton said sadly, “That’s… really what this is about, actually.”

“I figured,” Virgil nodded.

“I haven’t seen Roman since- since the wedding,” Patton said, “Have either of you seen him since?”

“No,” Logan said, shaking his head a little, “I have not.”

“Me neither,” Virgil lied, Roman had come to his room afterwards, of course, but telling them that would prompt them to ask him questions about what had happened. Virgil was glad he’d gotten so good at lying, living with Janus for years did have it’s perks, even if he hated doing it most of the time. 

“It’s been… three days since then,” Patton said, “And his room is still missing?”

Logan nodded, “It seems to be that way, yes.”

Virgil sighed, he had seen the video they had recorded since the wedding. He had seen Roman’s outburst, seen Janus’ face during it. At the very least it had made it a little clearer why Roman had wanted to leave, and also reassured him at least a little that the snake would take care of him.

“D-do you think he may have…” Patton paused, “...ducked out?”

“There’s an easy way to tell,” Virgil said, instead of saying ‘no’ as he knew to be true, Roman hadn’t ducked out, “Logan, how is our creative performance doing?”

“Everything seems to be functioning normally,” Logan said after summoning a notebook, “Possibly even more effectively than normal, actually, Thomas seems to have been having more ideas than usual over the last few days.”

Virgil wondered if it was because Roman was around Remus more now, he knew they were meant to be complimentary, two parts of creativity, if they worked together then their creative performance would probably be enhanced. 

“That… doesn’t make sense,” Patton said, “Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that we know Roman hasn’t ducked out, but if he hasn’t then… where is he?”

“Perhaps it would be good to request Thomas call him up, instead of one of us doing it,” Logan said, “Maybe he will come if it’s Thomas.”

“Maybe,” Virgil said, shifting feet, “Maybe we should wait until tomorrow, though, it’s getting late.”

“Yeah, right,” Patton nodded, “I’ll make us something quick for dinner, ok kiddos?”

“Got it,” Virgil said, slumping down onto the sofa, he wondered what Roman was doing right now. Maybe he was eating dinner with Janus and Remus. Janus would have cooked, because neither of the twins could so much as make a poptart without starting a fire. Maybe Janus would have cooked them some elaborate meal, or maybe they were having something simple like they were up here. Maybe Remy would even be joining them. Virgil shook his head, taking a deep breath in an attempt to clear his head. He couldn’t keep worrying about what Roman was doing.

“Virgil?” Logan said, sitting next to him, “Are you- alright?”

“Fine,” Virgil answered, leaning back into the cushions, “Just- worried about Roman, I guess.”

It wasn’t too far from the truth to leave a sour taste in his mouth, but he still felt a little bad about lying to Logan- lying to them both. The commons felt so empty without the fourth and loudest member of their FamILY.

“It will be alright,” Logan said, “We’ll find him.”

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed, “Thank you.”

Virgil already knew where Roman was, of course, but it had served to make him feel a little better anyway, if only because… well at least Logan cared enough to attempt to reassure him about it. From what he’d gathered, Roman and Logan had never had the best relationship, so it was nice that he was worried despite that.

—-

The next day the sides stood in Thomas’ living room. Virgil was on the stairs, as usual, and he couldn’t help but continue to glance at the empty spot next to him where Roman would be standing if he were here. 

They went through the usual meet and greet, Thomas did his intro - because of course they were filming again (the mystery of ‘where is Roman’ seemed to be good enough for a video idea, at least) - and they got started. 

“Roman’s still missing?” Thomas asked when Patton brought it up. Virgil managed to hide his wince spectacularly, thank you very much.

“We haven’t been able to find him since the wedding,” Logan answered with a nod, “It is worrying, to say the least.”

“Yeah I uh- has he ducked out?” Thomas asked.

“We already ruled that one out,” Virgil answered, leaning back on the steps, “Your creativity is working fine, so he’s not gone, he’s just… not here.”

“Right,” Thomas said, “And last time we tried to summon him, Janus showed up instead.”

“Yeppers,” Patton nodded, “But I uh- I think maybe it was because I was the one who tried to summon him, he probably didn’t want to see me, after all of… that.”

“We were hoping that you might be willing to call him in, Thomas,” Logan said, “He should listen to you, and if he doesn’t that may mean he really is in trouble.”

“Oh yeah I can definitely do that,” Thomas nodded, “Good idea,”

Thomas took a deep breath before calling Roman’s name, the silence that followed in the next few seconds was awkward, to say the least, but just as Virgil opened his mouth to say that maybe he wasn’t coming, the air began to ripple behind the TV and Remus popped up, leaning over it with his smug face and that stupid fucking mustache. 

“You-” Virgil hissed as Remus grinned and waved.

“You wanted a creativity, you got one,” Remus said, disappearing and reappearing in front of the TV with a hand on his hip, “Couldn’t disappoint good old Thomathy! Ro-bro’s not around right now, so you’ve got me!”

“Oh, great,” Virgil muttered, Logan sighed.

“Could you at least tell us where Roman is?” Logan asked.

“Probably the imagination,” Remus shrugged, “Where else would he be?”

“Remus- he’s been missing for four days now!” Patton cried, “Can- can you at least tell us he’s safe?”

“Better than ever!” Remus said, clapping his hands, “But surprise surprise he doesn’t want to talk to you! I wonder why?”

“He’s safe, then?” Virgil asked, narrowing his eyes at Remus. He hoped Roman had told his brother that Virgil knew, he just wanted to know that Roman was ok.

“Fine, perfect, actually, way better now that he doesn’t have to worry about love being conditional, huh Virge?” Remus cackled as if that statement was funny, Virgil was just- confused! When had he ever said anything like that? Well, that was something he could put aside to worry about at 2am when he couldn’t sleep.

“Remus, stop it,” Thomas said, “Can you- can you ask Roman to come and talk to us?”

“No can do Tommy, he’ll come when he’s ready, not before!” Remus huffed, twirling his mustache, “Oh, but he did ask me very nicely to give you this!”

Remus produced a notebook that seemed like it had seen better days from thin air and held it out to Thomas, who took it carefully as though it might explode.

“What is this?” Thomas asked, looking wary about opening it, Virgil seconded that look, he wouldn’t touch that book with a ten foot pole. 

“All our ideas!” Remus giggled, “We had a big brainstorming session and filled up a big notebook of story ideas for you!”

“And this isn’t going to explode or something when I open it?” Thomas asked, still looking at the book as though it might bite him.

“Nope! You have my word!” Remus said, bowing, “Now I’ve got an adventure to get back to, cya dorks!”

Remus popped back behind the TV and sank down, leaving the four of them standing around in silence.

“I suppose we should look at this, then?” Thomas asked, looking back at the still closed notebook in his hands. 

“That may be a good idea,” Logan nodded, “If it is what Remus described, it could be useful for our planning sessions…”

—-

They weren’t able to successfully summon Roman for a week after he’d disappeared. 

By that point, Thomas and the other two had come to the conclusion that whatever had happened to him at least had something to do with the dark sides (considering one of them would show up whenever they tried to call Roman), but the theories still ranged from him being kidnapped and held hostage to the dark sides having blackmailed him into joining them or whatever crap they could come up with that painted Remus and Janus as the villains. He wondered how on earth they hadn’t realised that Roman had gone willingly yet, all the evidence was there 

When Roman finally did show up (by his own accord just as Remus had said, whilst they were meeting with Thomas and discussing something Virgil wasn’t paying attention to), his entrance was dramatic. To be fair, if you expected anything less Virgil would assume you didn’t know Roman at all. 

Remus had arrived first, popping up and immediately demanding that Virgil shuffle over so he could join him sitting on the stairs. Virgil begrudgingly did what he said, if only because he knew Remus would sit in his lap if he didn’t. Strangely, Remus was being quiet - aside from a cryptic comment when he first appeared about how Thomas might want to start filming that got Virgil feeling incredibly nervous. Despite being quiet though, Remus was still thrumming with excited energy. The guy was vibrating, Virgil was starting to get worried that he would vibrate straight through the floor if whatever he was waiting for didn’t happen soon.

“Here he comes!” Remus whispered, only just quiet enough that the others didn’t hear. Remus jostled him, shaking him back and forth by the arm and Virgil let it happen, being shaken around a little was probably better than Remus causing other kinds of havoc.

Patton yelped in surprise when Roman rose up, right in his usual spot, and immediately Virgil could tell why Remus had asked Thomas to film. Roman looked… completely different. 

His clothes had completely changed and Virgil couldn’t help but gape as Roman bowed, a grin on his face as the golden, ruby encrusted crown atop his head twinkled in the light. His normal white outfit had been switched out to a dark grey, though he still matched Remus with his red sash and gold accents as he had before, now his epaulettes were donned with golden bullion fringe, the sleeves of his tunic billowed at the wrist and at the back his tunic was tailed, not even to mention the golden boots he wore.

Roman looked like he’d been upgraded from Prince to King.

It wasn’t only that, though, even Roman himself seemed to have changed. His eyes seemed brighter, a more vivid shade of red than the brownish-red they had been before, his skin had gotten more tan and his hair longer and more wavy, differing from Thomas’ norm that light sides had all shared before. Virgil noticed when he turned his head a little that his ears now ended in sharp points and a section of his hair seemed to be part way through turning gold to mirror Remus’ silver streak. Even his fingernails seemed to be painted red and tipped with gold. The dark side really had taken him quickly. Virgil wondered how long it would be until Roman started getting his creature trait like the others, if he stayed long enough for that. 

“Roman?” Patton squeaked, eyes wide and hands clasped over his mouth. Thomas didn’t look much better, staring at Roman wide eyes, and Logan looked just as baffled in his own ways, “Is that you?”

“The one and only,” Roman said, flashing a smile and offering Patton a nod. Remus elbowed him in the arm and Virgil realised he’d just been staring this whole time, he should really say something.

“Nice look,” Virgil came up with, a small smile on his face, Roman did look good in dark colours, he wouldn’t deny it. 

“It is, isn’t it?” Roman said, still grinning, he did a little twirl, seemingly ignoring the others in the room in favour of Virgil and Remus - who clapped when he spun and whispered ‘that’s my brother!’ as though they were watching a performance. Virgil gave him a thumbs up and an approving nod and Roman seemed to glow with the praise.

“Roman?” Logan said, catching his attention, “Where have you been? What happened to your outfit?”

“I thought it was time to change things up a little,” Roman said, seemingly losing all of the shine he had when addressing him and Remus as he turned to talk to the others, “I’ve been spending time with my brother and Janus, mostly, why?”

“We’ve been worried about you, kiddo!” Patton cried, taking a step forward only for Roman to casually take a step away from him, Patton’s face fell and Virgil thought it might have been a little harsh of Roman to do that, but then again he couldn’t claim to know what Roman was going through. Virgil sighed, he really had no idea what had happened between them beyond Roman’s outburst in the video. 

“Ah, well, now you have no need to be worried,” Roman said, spreading his arms, “As you can see I am here, unharmed, and more fabulous than ever of course.”

“Does that mean you’ll be rejoining us?” Logan asked, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Nah,” Roman said, waving him off, “I’d rather not.”

“Wait what?” Patton asked, waving his hands, “‘nah’? You mean-”

“I would much rather stay downstairs,” Roman said, summoning a dagger from the air and using it to clean under his nails.

“With them?” Patton asked, voice very nearly a shriek.

“Them being my brother and Janus?” Roman said, “Yes, with them.”

“But-”

“You cannot control me anymore, Patton,” Roman said, cutting him off and standing up straight, Roman was taller than Virgil, so by all accounts far taller than Patton, to the point where he almost loomed, “Janus and I have been doing a lot of deconstruction this past week, and a surprising amount of it has centred around you!”

“I’m not- I’m not trying to control you!” Patton cried, “I just- I don’t want you to be stuck down there- it’s- it’s dangerous.”

“Considering I’m the one who’s been going there regularly for the past month, and not to mention how I’ve been down there for a week now,” Roman said, gesturing to Patton with his dagger, “I believe that I can judge whether or not it’s dangerous for myself.”

Roman paused, looking down at his knife with a look of utter carelessness. 

“Besides, even if it were dangerous, I could handle it,” Roman rolled his eyes.

“And you’re certain we can’t change your mind?” Logan asked. Thomas nodded and only then did Virgil realise he hadn’t said anything this whole time, still looking stunned.

“Certain,” Roman nodded with a small smile, “It’s interesting, you know, I thought that the dark side was some terrifying place before I went there, but all it really is is a little darker with a collectively much better fashion sense.”

“I- hey!” Virgil said, frowning.

“Never fear, Gerard Gay, you’re counted in that collective, even as an ex-dark side.” Roman said with a wink in his direction.

“Thank god,” Virgil said, rolling his eyes, “For a second I thought my jacket would be absent from your fashion hall of fame.”

“Pride of place, I assure you, right next to Jan’s bright yellow wellingtons.” Roman said, grinning. Virgil snorted.

“He still wears those?” Virgil asked, barely able to keep from laughing.

“Oh, yeah! Those are neat,” Remus giggled, before nudging Virgil again, “Hey! If you can figure out what you did to hurt Roman, maybe we’ll let you come visit!”

There it was again, the insinuation that he’d done something to hurt Roman. That paired with the comment from a few days ago… 

Of course, he’d been thinking about it every day since but he still couldn’t come up with what he must have said to make Roman think that there was any reason Virgil would stop liking him. He really had to work it out before it was too late…

“Right,” Virgil said, “I’ll have to think on that one.”

“What about us?” Logan asked, frowning slightly. Patton looked hopeful and Thomas still wore the same expression, like he couldn’t believe any of this was really happening.

“If you two so much as step into our commons I’ll let Bessie loose to rip you to shreds,” Remus said, jumping up from his seat on the stairs to step closer to them, eyes darkening a little.

“Who’s Bessie?” Virgil whispered, leaning a little closer to Roman.

“His pet kraken,” Roman whispered back, “He keeps her in his side of the imagination.”

“Oh, jeez,” Virgil said, looking back at the others. 

“You can come down if you want though, Thomas!” Remus said, grinning, “There's no gruesome death waiting for you!” 

“Good to- know,” Thomas said eventually, trying for a smile.

“I believe that is more than enough tension for one day,” Logan said firmly, cutting through said tension like a knife, “I think it would be beneficial if we held another meeting at a later date with you present as well, Roman, so we can go over what’s next for Thomas’ content.”

“You got it, specs,” Roman said with a half smile, “Now if you’ll excuse me… I believe Janus said he was making a raspberry shortcake.”

Before anyone could protest, Roman sank out with Remus quickly following suit. Virgil excused himself quickly afterwards, heading back to his room to pick up his laptop and boot up Thomas’ videos. Watching them back made him cringe a little, especially the ones from before he’d been accepted, but at the moment Virgil didn’t care. He had to work out what he’d said to make Roman think that being cared about by them was conditional, of all things. 

—-

Virgil was half asleep when he finally reached Learning New Things About Ourselves, but near the end of the song Virgil found himself sitting bolt upright, eyes wide and every thought of sleeping banished from his mind.

In almost any case we embrace you~

He must have replayed that line at least six times before shutting down his laptop and putting his head in his hands. He rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyelids, because that must be it, mustn’t it?

Why the hell had he added that ‘almost’?

----

| <- Previous Part |

[randomnerd737]

wow the darksides want Logan to go apeshit almost as much as the fandom does lmao

[dukeyeatsdeodorant]

One of my favourite Sanders Sides headcanons is that Janus was/is like a parent to the darksides + Virgil. Its just so sweet to me. But you know what would be funny? If Janus started giving the same treatment to the light sides. Here's how I think Janus would say goodnight to each side!

Janus to Virgil: Just him singing Virgil to sleep then giving him a small pat on the shoulder afterwards

Janus to Remus: 'Goodnight, Problem child. Please, for the love of god actually stay in your bed tonight.' Then Remus would proceed to sneak into Janus' bed and chew on his ear until he falls asleep, then Jan would carefully carry Remus to bed.

Janus to Roman: He tells Roman a beautiful fairytale and once he's asleep, he gently kisses Roman's forehead

Janus to Logan: Just a short and sweet 'Goodnight Logan, Don't let the bedbugs bite.' Then Logan would sleepily say something educational about bedbugs but he would fall asleep halfway through, due to exhaustion from dealing with everyone else all day.

Janus to Patton: He would say goodnight to Patton, then he would be forced into saying goodnight to all of Pattons plushies and giving them all + Patton goodnight kisses.

[tastic-in-its-finest]

TW BLOOD

Darkside lighting practice

I know Logans technically not a “darkside” but it was too tempting to resist

[the-bisexual-bitch]

I need more analogical in the headspace. I don't want AUs, I want my two Little Autistic Guys shoved together in the brainspace because Virgil is having a Bad Time and none of the more 'emotional' sides are available (they were helping Thomas or something), so Logan helps. Or Virgil just SPECIFICALLY wants to be around Logan.

I need more of them being specifically described in the brainspace and looking different from Thomas. I need more of them being mildly upset that they don't look like themselves when they're helping Thomas.

I need more of the darksides and lightsides being basically two weird semi-funtional poly relationships.

I need more of Virgil having been in an unhealthy relationship with one of the Darksides and thinking he got away from them

I need more of Janus actually biting people and having venom.

I need more angst around Virgil feeling like he's a poser who's actually Bad and undeserving of the care given to by the Lightsides

I need more of Virgil not liking the phrases "Darkside" and "Lightside"

I need more of Virgil feeling infantilized by Patton and Patton struggling to get it

I need more long essays written about One Line to read and be convinced by.

(Please recommend fics, artists, tumblr accounts, etc.. I'm begging you.)

[where-are-the-spooky-gays-2]

I think it be funny if Remus is the only person Vee is like.. loud? around. Maybe not loud but more himself. Bc he feels safe with Remus

Which confuses the hell out of the rest of the sides because.. really? He feels safe around Remus? The man who knocked his own brother out? Who threw a ninja star at Logan? Who purposely creeps Patton out? Who gives Thomas terrible thoughts? Janus’, who Virgil hates, only friend? A man who none of the lightsides like? A darksides?

Yes. Because Remus is his world. He loves him

- Vee 💜

Hi lol, sorry for disappearing for a while

So R E A L they're free and unapologetically themselves together Your Honor <3

[esmereldapearl]

For some reason, whenever I think about the darksides Mind Palace and rooms, I ALWAYS think of it as like a dimly lit one floor house.

Head-cannons I have;

-Virgil and Roman play semi-horror games together and sometimes, if a game has lore, Logan will join them and they’ll all try to band together to get to the bottom of it.

-Virgil and Roman would watch those cheesy romance movies and absolutely judge the entirety of it, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? YOU HAVE A FIANCÉ IN CALIFORNIA WHY ARE YOU KISSING YOUR CHILDHOOD CRUSH??” (Roman) “THE MOM IS GOING TO INVITE THE FIANCÉ TO THE DINNER SECRETLY AND SHES GONNA BRING THE CRUSH AS A SURPRISE AND HER RELATIONSHIPS WILL BE DONE” (Virgil)

- Patton most of the time likes to spend his time alone, in his own room or hanging out in quiet places. He’d find a place and just sit down and read.

- Logan, with any TV show, judges it similarly to how Roman does.

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

Unfinished Things (DarkSides Family AU)

These are all the things I'll never finish for the DarkSides Family AU. I discontinued it because there are things I can't give proper rep for & I have no motivation to carry on with it.

All of the listed have been in my drafts since August 18th (2023).

Here's le list!

[Masterlist]

A oneshot about Logan & his Kids, Untitled: logan explaining to kids what being aro/ace is like for him cause they asked why they only had lo and it went from 'why just you' to 'aro/ace, what's that'

A oneshot about Virgil & a relapse, titled "Sad": jan and re helping a panicking vi through some self-harm/a relapse

A oneshot about when Virgil first calls Janus & Remus by more parental names, titled "Oop, Feelings": when vi first calls jan 'dad'; when he first calls re 'cephy' (a parental nickname since they liked octopus)

A partly-finished oneshot about Virgil getting an ESA, titled "Virgil & Stormy the Dog" [read it here]

I will not put "Virgil & Stormy the Dog" on ao3 because it's unfinished and I'm no longer writing or working on this au. Sorry, folks.

Rest in Peace, DarkSides Family AU. You were fun while you lasted <3

[loganofthenorth]

Hear ye, Hear ye

I, Lady of the North, (url was taken so I made my username Logan of the North) have found a Picrew that I really like

So I now have the opportunity to start one of those Picrew tag games!

Make yourself in this Picrew, then tag 5 people to do the same!

My tag list (no pressure of course): @the-ding-dong-ditch-committee @darksides-dutchess @mydearboy51 @novainthevoid @susie--official

And of course anyone outside of the tagged people is welcome to as well!

[slippery-snake]

Biker!Logan & Biker!Remus x GN!Reader

AN: This idea has been haunting my mind since October last year akjssjsjdjdj. Ty lovely moot for helping give me ideas for this @darksides-dutchess

Warnings: Mention of possible injuries, mention of guys being pushy, Remus putting you in “danger” (he knows what he’s doing tho, overall wholesome

Logan

Keeps it secret

When you go to his place, he will NEVER let you enter his garage.

Staying with him after dark is a no no also

He claims that he just loves his free time

Totally not because he's actually going 100 mph every night on a customized bike

He's actually very good at keeping his secret

Unitl one day, after long night before, he left his helmet on the counter and you asked him about it

“It’s my friends’.”

“Your friend is a biker? That's so cool! Can I meet him!?”

He gets jealous lol

“…No.”

You keep pushing him until he breaks and confesses

At first, you’re surprised, then everything falls into place

You don’t think any differently of him, you actually think its kinda cool, and he appreciates it

not to mention its sexy as hell

He takes you riding sometimes, but double, triple and quadruple checks you have all your gear

NEVER taking you on the highway, fastest you’re going with him is 30 mph

Doesn’t bring you to street races, but doesn’t mind if you show up

He may or may not show off a bit for you

If you complain about some guy from work or school bothering you, he pulls up to the building/campus as loudly as possible to “pick you up”

Very chivalrous

Picks you up and takes you off the bike instead of letting you get off on your own

Doesn’t want you getting hurt

He also will just die if you ever get injured on his bike

You will never face a major injury, hes very careful

But if you sprain your ankle getting off, or have a rock hit your leg while riding, his boyfriend instincts kick in.

Instantly taking care of while feeling guilty

he’s having you take a break from the bike for few days

Remus

Extremely open about it

Everyone he knows is gonna know about it

It’s probably the first thing you know about him

He takes you riding everywhere, and may even consider getting you your own bike

Until then, he lets you make come decisions about customizing his bike

Or you’ll come back to his place to see your favorite color painted somewhere on his green and black biker as a surprise

Hes taking you to races all the time

Maybe even letting you ride with him

Occasionally, he makes a bet, saying the winner gets to take you home

At first you were mad at him for doing it

But after watching him race a couple of times, you realized remus was no fool

He was fast, obviously, but took risks that cost the other racer to lose.

He never really put a bid on you, since he always knew he was going to win from the beginning

While you loved going on rides with him, he could be a little punk at times

Sometimes, while riding casually, he just does wheelies with no real warning

Just a “Hey watch this” before you’re tilted towards the sky and holding onto him for dear life.

If theres a motorcycle in the lane next to you, he may rev his engine a bit to get them started, and next thing you know you’re 85 in a 30

He cares about your safety, but if you’re dating him you’re gonna have to be a bit rough at times.

If he sees you got a scratch, he gonna laugh it off

“You got your first mark, baby!”

Actually kinda proud, mostly since he has scars EVERYWHERE from falling off his bike so many time.

However, he makes the point that all of the falls he took were tactical and on purpose

If you do ever actually get hurt or feel scared, he doesn’t realize at first but oh boy when he does

Its like a different person

Instantly into protective bf mode

You’re riding in front of him, swaddling him as he speeds home or to the hospital

He doesn’t rest well until he knows for sure you’re okay, and the doctors or nurses will be getting an earful of insults if you think they aren’t listening to you or treating you right

He doesn’t get jealous often

Mostly because 90% of guys will be aware that you’re together

He is loud, everyone knows when your ride is outside

If you ever do get hit on, he's still not concerned.

He’ll just saunter on over and throw his arm over your shoulder, make you blush a lil, and look at the other guy like “yeah, they’re all mine”

If the guy is too pushy he just fights them, there is no inbetween.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Light on the Darkside - Chapter Twenty Four.

Big thanks as ever to you all, the LOTD book club! :)

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty One Twenty Two Twenty Three

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,268

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Topics cover depression, suicide and eating disorders. Minors DNI!

“Oi! Put it down!” 

“But dad I can use it as a lance!” 

“Nah, son. No improvising medieval weaponry. It’s too sharp, drop it.” 

“N’aww dad! You get to play with weapons!” 

“That’s for music videos and album art. Put the bloody massive stick down, Wolf.” 

“Alright. If I find one that isn’t sharp, can I play with that one?” 

Closing his eyes, Steve groaned, brows furrowing as his best mate hissed with laughter at his pain. “That boy’ll be the fucking death of me.” 

“Can I, dad?” 

“Fine, go on, find another,” he called, watching his son run off at the speed of light across the muddy terrain. “Anything to save my pissing ears for five fucking minutes!” he then added in quieter tones, James still laughing.  

They’d taken the kids out to Kinver Edge for the day, a woodland escarpment four miles west of Stourbridge. It was over an hour away from where they lived, but definitely worth the visit. It brought back many memories.  

“Freya,” James warned, his child now taking over in the picking up something she shouldn’t stakes. “Put the rock down.” 

“I can’t! Need it!” 

“What for? I don’t trust that you’re not about to dash it at your sister.” And for a three-year-old, she had one hell of a throwing arm.  

“Demons!” 

“Ain’t no demons up Kinver, baba. Put it down.” 

“There might be, daddy! Who can say!”  

He couldn’t keep the smile from his face. “Well, if there is, you’re enough to see ‘em off all on your own, innit. You forget that you’re the chaos of the night, they don’t stand a chance.” 

The rock was dropped. “And I have the army of the dead!” 

“Yeah, you do!” he chuckled, Steve laughing at his side. 

“I love that kid to pieces, she’s such a riot.” he spoke, the pair watching as Freya pottered away over the mossier ground, Logan and Zara leading the pack in the distance along with Hugo and Otis, as well as Fenrir, Steve’s Northern Inuit dog. As soon as he’d seen them used as the dire wolves on Game of Thrones, he’d chewed Andrea’s ear off until she’d agreed they could get one.  

And James was stuck with French fuckery number one and number two. Because Ella had always wanted French bulldogs and he couldn’t say no.  

Continuing to walk, they navigated a path down to one of the draws of Kinver Edge, the famed and old red rock dwelling that apparently used to be inhabited by a herbalist until her death in 1617. Many folklore stories existed about the woman, most of which James and Steve had heard when visiting the place in their youth.  

“Ahh, the last time we were up here, sunshine. Getting stoned with them hot girls,” Steve began, the kids screaming with mirth on the other side of the rock formation, the dogs barking excitedly. “You over in that corner getting ridden by that bird you were seeing from... where was she from?” 

“Halesowen,” James confirmed, looking over, remembering his nineteen-year-old self, and the gorgeous twenty-year-old he’d been casually dating at the time.  

“And what was her name?” 

“Nicola.” 

Steve flicked his fingers, waving his hand in remembrance. “That’s it! That was her, and I was having a bit of her mate...” 

“Cerys.” 

“Yeah, her,” Steve grinned, remembering. “Oooh, that girl couldn’t half suck a dick. Telling ya. Quality blowjob skills, proper gorgeous an’ all. Fucking sky blue eyes and great big tits.” 

“Calm yourself,” James snorted, “but yeah, she was top grade sexy. Never told you this at the time, but after you and her stopped seeing each other, I was shagging her for a bit. She used to go up that rock club in Birmingham, XL’s. Gaz was seeing her best mate Nat, so yeah. Took me up there with him and it just happened one night. Broke the bed in Nat’s spare room giving her a damned good banging. Proper little wild thing, she was, innit?” 

Steve boomed with laughter at that revelation. “You fucking tart, Jim! Nabbing my leftovers, ya dickhead.” God, how they’d had some fun in their single years. “We were proper reprobates in our youth.” 

“Ain’t much fucking better now, man,” James chuckled, “just married ones with kids and mortgages and all that.” 

“Yeah, suppose you ain’t wrong there.” How different things were upon their return twenty-one years later. “Logan, don’t lick the rock, son.” 

“Why? Freya did!” 

“Freya, stop licking everything. It ain’t yours just because you lick it, we’ve talked about this,” James called, the tiny destroyer of worlds grinning at him, her mouth covered in red dust. And so, it continued... 

“Logan, mate, don’t pee off the side of the rock! There might be people walking below.” 

“Freya, don’t wipe snot on your sister.”  

“Wolf, that’s a branch. You’re not bringing a branch with you! Now look, the bloody dogs got in on it too! Fenrir, come back.” 

“Zara, don’t put mud on your face! No, it ain’t warpaint. Stop.”  

Steve was in hysterics at the last one, reaching for her as they caught up, dropping a kiss atop her head. “Something might’ve pooped in that, honey.” 

“Doesn’t smell bad, though,” she reasoned, giving him a quick hug before she was hurtling off again, threatening Wolf with a beating. 

“Yeah, you give him stacks, sweetheart,” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “So how come big girl didn’t come along? She’s usually well up for this.” 

“Gone off swimming with her mates,” he revealed, unscrewing his water bottle and taking a few gulps. “That almost didn’t happen either, with the mouthful she was giving her mum this morning.”  

“Yeah? Guess I’ve got all this to come, but boys are easier. We just communicate in a series of grunts an’ all that.” 

“Yup, and girls screech, which was Lyra’s preferred communication at being told she wasn’t allowed to go to the cinema later. Like way later tonight. She knows she ain’t allowed out past eight, but nah. Really trying it on right now, so yeah, Ella is satan at the moment because she put her foot down and told her she’d be collected from Kitt’s at 6pm as arranged.” 

Steve clicked his tongue with a small grimace. “Nah, can’t be good, mate. Suppose it’s normal, though. Ain’t like we never challenged authority. Remember when we snuck out of your bedroom window and ended up in The Crown all night when we were fifteen?” 

Ahhh, the halcyon days of the nineties, where I.D’s weren’t checked if you looked eighteen, James and Steve looking much older than their years for both being tall and needing to shave from their early teens.  

“Fuck, yeah I do. Dad opening the back door and finding us on the shed roof pissed out of our heads, trying to climb back up to my room again! Sneaking us through the house so the duchess didn’t wake up. Man, if Lyra gets up to even half of what we used to, I’m gonna be going even more grey than I already am real fucking quickly, innit,” James laughed, remembering how cool his dad had been about it, wheeze laughing at the teenagers as they’d staggered around atop the shed. 

Their trip down memory lane was then disturbed by the demoness of darkness, shouting loudly. Freya did, after all, only have one volume. “Daddy! I’ve found a corpse!” 

James closed his eyes, wincing slightly. “I ain’t a religious man, but I pray when we get over there that it’s a bird or some kind of woodland animal, cos’ with her, you never know.” 

Steve hissed with laughter. “She’d not be scared, would she?” 

“Nah, she’d be there poking it with a stick screaming ‘why are you dead, though?’ and all that. She’s too much like me for her own good.” They caught up with the kids, seeing quickly that it was a dead and decaying badger, Steve moving quickly to grab Freya when she went to touch it. 

“Oi, no touching the cadaver, little destroyer of worlds,” he advised, holding her in his arms as she began to fiddle with his long, blonde hair. Gone were the days of dyeing it dark brown with his two bleached streaks at the front, Steve back to his natural colour, plus a few silvery grey strands he couldn’t be bothered to dye. Unlike James, who dyed his every three weeks to keep them at bay.  

“Uncle Steve, can I have piggy back?” 

He nodded, pointing a finger. “Yeah, but no kicking me, right?” 

A kiss to his cheek was delivered, Freya beginning to scramble around to his back with his help. “Promise no kicks!” A further three kilometres were walked that afternoon, returning to the carpark and going their separate ways. Ten minutes into the journey home and James had two sleeping children in the back of his truck, the dogs settled in the front passenger footwell also nodding off. Long walks were a sure-fire way to exhaust those with abundant energy, that was for certain. 

They arrived home at just gone six, Ella obviously out fetching their eldest. He couldn’t see anything obviously set out for dinner, deciding to order pizza in for everyone instead after quickly calling his wife to check. She thanked him endlessly, telling him they’d be back in ten minutes. He noticed she sounded a little terse on the phone, swiftly finding out why that was when she and Lyra entered the house not long after, the latter causing a fuss.  

“Zara, take your sister to the den, go on,” James spoke, jerking his head in the direction, not wanting them to have to suffer what would likely be a full-scale attitude fit. “I’ll call you when the food arrives.” 

His second eldest nodded, picking up Freya and heading out. Five seconds passed before the kitchen door flew open, the harbinger of said attitude stomping in. “Dad! Tell her she isn’t fair, because I cannot with her. I really can’t!” 

“Is this about the cinema again?” he asked, leaning against the dishwasher and folding his arms, turning to give Ella a kiss. God, she looked tense. He envisaged she would need a large drink and a shoulder rub later that night, both of which he’d happily provide.  

“It isn’t fair! Kitt is allowed out until ten, so why can’t I be?” 

“Kitt’s a little bit older than you. Once you’re thirteen we can talk again about how late you’re allowed out, but while you’re twelve, eight o’ clock is late enough,” he explained, being met by further exasperation. 

“You’re only saying that to side with her!” she raged, gesturing towards Ella as she took a seat at the island, combing her fingers through her hair a few times with a sigh. 

“I’m saying it because it’s a rule we set as your parents, and what we say goes.” 

A loud huff filled the air, Ella chipping in to try and deescalate the situation. “Kitt also has Danielle with him, so he’s only allowed out late because of that, since she can take them both home afterwards,” she reminded her, speaking of Kitt’s elder sister, who was seventeen and had her driving license as of a few months before. 

“She could have brought me home, too! Or one of you could have picked me up!” she screamed, James frowning. 

“Lower your voice, Lyra,” he warned, watching his daughter stomp to the fridge, pulling a carton of juice out aggressively. “She couldn’t have brought you home because it meant you being out past your curfew, and that ain’t happening. Same with us picking you up. Plus, even if the time wasn’t an issue, I’m knackered and so is your mum. We drive you guys around for this and that all week. Now, be bloody told.” 

“You dad is right, love,” Ella spoke, receiving a thunderous look, “and you know you had to be in at six tonight because you’ve got homework to do, which you really should be making a start on now instead of arguing with us.” 

“I fucking hate you!” 

Oh, now she’d done it. “Oi, less of that. You ain’t getting away with swearing at your mum like that. Room. Now.” 

“But dad, I...” 

“Lyra, get upstairs. Now. I ain’t joking.” 

Grabbing her juice, she flounced from the kitchen, slamming the door so hard the glass pane rattled, James moving to behind his wife to begin kneading her shoulders. “Fancy letting those magical hands wander lower, baby?” 

He laughed dirtily. “Yeah, and I’ll follow ‘em with my mouth later on, too.” 

Tilting her head back, she kissed the side of his neck, leaning against his chest when he wrapped two massive arms around her. “I approve of this.” 

“Thought you might,” he winked. “So, good day apart from big girl being a beast?” 

“Yeah, it was great,” she replied, heaving herself up and reaching for the bottle of Merlot over on the other counter, pulling two glassed from the tall, slim cupboard beside it. “I got all the house clean, laundry caught up on, then had that one session that I needed to rebook because of my dentist trip on Thursday. I even had a nap in the bath. Woke up all bleedin’ crinkly like E.T! How about you?” 

He took the glass of wine she passed him, moving to sit down at the island next to her. Sitting felt good after an eight-kilometre walk. Their dogs agreed, neither of the potatoes moving from their spot on the rug in the lounge, where they’d flopped down as soon as they’d arrived home.  

“Yeah, had a right top grade time, with Freya being Freya. She found a bloody dead badger and didn’t even flinch. Then on the way back, she went headfirst into a massive puddle. Got most of it cleaned off her but she’s gonna need flinging into the bath.” 

Flung she was after they’d all sat down to eat together, minus a moody Lyra, who Ella had taken a plate up to and received nothing in response. Once the youngest two were bath fresh and in bed, their parents happily sank down onto the sofa to watch a film, choosing Goodfellas, one of James’s favourites.  

“Oh, can I watch this with you?” Lyra spoke, entering during the first ten minutes of the film. It was nice to hear her a little more cheerful, but then again, they could both guess it was only because she wanted something. 

“Hmm, no, sweetheart. It’s got a bit too much questionable content for a twelve-year old,” Ella spoke, after thinking on it for a few moments. She didn’t want to be overly strict a mother, but with the foul language – much worse than anything James came out with in front of the kids – and the murder, plus drug use, she didn’t feel it appropriate. 

“But you let me watch Guy Richie films and they’re full of the same!” she had argued back at her, as Ella knew she would. 

“Yes, but they’re not quite as graphically depicted.”  

A large huff left her mouth. “Treating me like a child.” 

“Newsflash, Lyra. You are one,” James offered, starting to feel his patience wearing a little thin. If Ella was being in any way unreasonable, he might understand the hostility, but in truth, she wasn’t. 

“You know what, dad? You used to be so much cooler, like even a few weeks ago but now you just take her side all the time! Tired of it!” Oh, god. Not round two. 

James merely shook his head, sighing hard through his nose. “And we’re tired of you being a drama queen over the slightest thing. Ain’t exactly like you’ve had a stifled upbringing is it, Lyra? You’ve spent virtually every summer since you were born at music festivals, we’re way more relaxed with things than our parents used to be with us, but nah. That ain’t enough, is it? Really getting tired of your shit, kid. The way you speak to your mum especially.” 

Leaving for the kitchen, her mouth threw back some further attitude. “Moody old bastard.” 

“Woah, no, no,” Ella spoke, pressing a hand to his chest and pushing him down when he went to jump off the sofa. If James was pushed too far, he had the tendency as ever to run his mouth, and loudly. Him and Lyra were entirely too similar in that respect, and it was the last thing she wanted to see happen. “Let me go, calm down.”  

She rubbed his chest fondly, leaning to kiss him before getting up, entering the kitchen. 

“What now?” Lyra snapped, Ella closing the door after her and pointing at the island. 

“Sit down.” 

“Don’t want to.” 

Her jaw tightened, eyes rounding. “I said sit down. Now.” Ella didn’t raise her voice a single octave, but the look on her face made Lyra understand loud and clear that she meant business, the girl moving to a seat, her mum standing adjacent. “Look, what you’re doing right now, all this gobbing off and pushing back against us, or rather me more often than not, I get it. You’re a teenager, it goes with the territory,” she began, Lyra rolling her eyes. 

“Here we go. Therapy bullshit,” she scoffed, Ella closing her eyes and counting to five. 

“It isn’t. This is me telling you I understand the mood swings, the challenging us. I wasn’t born at thirty-nine, Lyra. I was twelve once too, you know, and I was a gobby little cow to your nanny April as well. You need to stop throwing my job in my face at me when what I’m doing is no different to any other mother concerned for her child. And yes, you are a child still.” 

Her words were met with a sniff on nonchalance, Lyra beginning to pick at the ends of her hair as her mum continued. “Listen, you know your dad and I have been quite relaxed as far as parents go, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any rules. Life doesn’t work like that. It’d be nice if it did. I’d definitely like to tell the council to piss off on occasion with how much they bleedin’ rinse me for tax every year.” 

Despite herself, Lyra snorted, not quite able to bite back her little burst of laughter. “Suppose.” 

“If you met us halfway, too, we might be a bit more lenient with you, but as it stands, I don’t think we’re being too firm.” 

She continued the hair picking, her moment of being entertained over as the smirk returned. “Could have done that tonight and let me stay out, but no.”  

It was like running in circles, it truly was. “I’ve said all I need to on that front. Just try to meet us halfway, alright?” 

“Yeah,” she hummed, “whatever, mum.” It was a little less frosty than before, but her face said it all. While Lyra returned upstairs to head to bed, Ella collapsed onto the sofa, burying her head in James’s lap. 

“While you’re down there, little.” Emerging, she saw him wink, his grin widening considerably. “What?” 

“Dirty boy. But I will, don’t you worry. I need a damned good shagging to unwind a bit.” she spoke, turning over and stroking his thigh while continuing to watch the film. By the time they headed to bed, another few glasses of wine drunk, sleeping definitely was not on the agenda.  

In times of parenting hardship, they always had one another to fall back on. Or in that particular instance, fall onto a bed with.