#dear doctor I’m coming for soul

[absolutebl]

Heyo! I have a friend I'm trying to get more into BL. She's watched KinnPorsche and I recently got her to watch 3 Will Be Free (I know, not BL). She's somewhat picky about the romance she likes to consume, so I thought I'd ask you which BLs you think would be best to get her started with the genre. Her specifications are 1) a good, solid plot (any type is fine); 2) slow burn; 3) and good chemistry. She also loves sci fi and fantasy. My initial thoughts are MoD, Not Me, and AToTS. Any additions?

BLs with: 1 Good Story, 2 Slow Burn, 3 Good Chemistry, 4 PNR elements if possible

I have not one specific list for you, but several! Many of these not updated so likely to recommend pre the 2023 madness. (Imma rag on some of your choices briefly: KP & MoD only satisfy one criteria - chemistry IMHO.

I did give you a final list of winners at the bottom tho!

1) BLs with the best stories:

2) BLs with best slow burn:

3) BLs with the best chemistry:

(by my definition)

4) PNR BLs (paranormal, sci-fi, or fantastical elements)

P'ABL did the math:

BLs that do or should show up on most of those lists:

Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul (Thailand) - the first one I thought of that satisfies all criteria. Good story, great chemistry, PNR & slow burn. By your friend's accounting, this should be the perfect BL. I'm a fan of this show and I have a full review here BUT I don't actually rec it often. Why? My quibble with DDICFS is that for dyed-in-the-wool BL or romance fans the ending may not satisfy, BUT that seems to be the one thing your friend is NOT - so this should be perfect.

Triage (Thailand) - good chemistry, frustratingly slow burn, def PNR, and good story. This was my second pull. It suffered at the time of airing from distribution issues and (perhaps more sadly) being up against KP. It's really good tho. A “correct the past” Groundhog Day plot, that has narrative baggage I normally do not like but is so clever about time loops, I have to forgive it my hang-ups. About a doctor who must save a boy to fix reality, but not in the usual way. 

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) - GREAT story, decent chemistry, very PNR, but not slow burn. It’s a perfectly executed fated mates reincarnation plot, fantastic well-seeded twists & reveals, and the only BL I would love to see adapted by other countries or read professionally translated. 

Old Fashion Cupcake (Japan) - slow burn, great story & chemistry, no PNR. This is a deceptively simple office romance that actually has a lot to say about life, love, maturity, and pancakes. It’s charming but also deeply moving and loving in its exploration of what it means to give up, and how connection can bring with it second chances. It’s also beautifully filmed and acted. 

Seven Days (Japan) - slow burn, great romance plot, good chemistry, no PNR. This is a pitch perfect elegant little YA romance that stays completely true to its yaoi roots but neatly avoids all the flaws of the genre. The story is deceptively simple but allows for angst and miscommunication to develop with VERY good reason, and is almost worth studying because of that. As a romance, it is elegant. I can see why it got stolen adapted.

1000 Stars (Thailand) - solid romance, very slow burn, okay chemistry, no PNR. All BL is romantic, but not all BL is a modern romance in the literary sense of the term, but 1k* is just that, an absolutely glorious slow burn gay romance that nods at BL but isn’t behooven to it. It’s just a really well executed linear romance story.

HIStory 3: Trapped (Taiwan 2019 Viki) - not PNR and maybe not exactly slow burn but aces everything else. (This was MY KP when it aired.) Taiwan often struggles with story because their BLs aren’t always long enough to really get stuck in, Trapped is different. It has a baby murder investigation that promotes conflict between the leads, so the romantic tension is between plot and character, it’s so smart. The leads did a GREAT job of showcasing mature chemistry. The side dishes in this series are wonderful too. The main couple has an amorphous ending, but like with Dear Doctor, that shouldn't rank under these specific circumstances.

My School President (Thai 2023 YouTube) - great chemistry, very slow burn, okay story, no PNR BUT you have to like YA. I know not everyone does. This is very youthful. GMMTV gave us a classic high school set Thai BL with tropes like messy boys singing their feelings that made this one Love Sick for the modern age with all the gentle sweetness and pining ache, but none of the dated damaging tropes or issues. Yes, we’ve seen it all before, but I still ADORE this. And there is a lot to be said for the classics being executed perfectly. Who let my BL be this wholesome and funny? Possibly too slow burn for some, we wait many eps for that pay out, and Tin's pining is NOT quiet, but it defines dorky and earnest, so when the payout comes? Lovely.

About Youth (Taiwan 2022 Gaga) - exactly the same criteria as MSP just Taiwan's version. A truly lovely little coming of age high school BL with a classic YA low drama but high angst and an earnest depth. I didn’t even mind the singing, and that’s saying a lot. A weak seme/uke dynamic but tons of BL tropes (both rare in a high school setting but common for Taiwan) makes this one feel both sweet and colored by an almost real world queer authenticity and grit. Full review here.

See You After Quarantine? (Taiwan 2021 Viki) - it's short there isn't a ton of story development, but it's a nice nugget introduction to Taiwan's style. Great chemistry, def slow burn, and CUTE. This under-appreciated gem is Taiwan’s answer to Gameboys and is just as charming and adorable yet still quintessentially Taiwanese. It features a Japanese love interest and the cutest most confused disaster gay. Slow burn because the two have almost no actual screen time together and yet manage some truly amazing chemistry. How does Taiwan do it?

Why no KBL?

Fascinating but despite the fact that KBL tends to earn the highest ratings from me and occupies the most slots in my 10/10 BLs of all time, because they are so short they tend to fall... erm... short in the arena of story and slow burn. Also, until recently, not a lot of great chemistry.

So here are a few others I considered but ended up eliminating for not containing enough of your required elements:

He's Coming to Me (Thailand) - review here

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) - this has a 12th Night meet Cinderfella feel to it, plus some great story tricks like a plot that requires a historical setting (I love it when narrative elements are codependent). 

Our Dining Table - It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me with the best of what Japan can do, it’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, it’s OK with me, but not totally BL.

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan) - full review here

Ghost Host Ghost House - if your friend likes horror and culture immersion this might be a winner. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other. The story is weak but everything else is on point and it has some of the best slow burn HOT chemistry ever to hit our screens. No... really. The THIRST is real.

Semantic Error (2022 Viki) - Simple story, no PNR, not slow burn, but for Korea it’s some of the best chemistry the traditional studios have ever managed. It is flawless BL. Truly, perfection for the genre. If your friend doesn't like this, BL is probubly not the right genre. Full review. 

Light on Me - def slow burn but story is a little weak and while there is chemistry, it's not really acted upon. Also v YA and a little stiff. I love this BL unreasonably.

KP not tagged to protect me from the fandom. Don't troll me and prove my point. Remember I can has ban hammer and am not afraid to use it.

(source)

[25shadesoffebruary]

I'm so glad my heart is with you.

[gravity-knight]

Hold up hold up

WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Randomly hit with Dear Doctor mood which ofcourse made me think of the opening cause I love Boy

So I went to listen and apparently there’s a Japanese version?!?!

[iamdarthbader]

[tightjeansjavi]

The Menu | Part 1

“Vices to fill a Void”

A/N: so I decided this is gonna be a two-parter because if theres one thing I’m good at, it’s edging my dear readers ;)

~word count: 3.4k~

Pairing | dark! Joel Miller x f! reader

Summary: Joel Miller has a menu concocted just for his customers. Pills? He’s got ‘em. Guns? Ammo? Name your price. Booze to warm the broken souls and hearts of the QZ? give him a holler. Everything comes with a price, of course. Joels got somethin’ special on his menu. Somethin’ that he doesn’t advertise freely. Y’gotta want it. Y’gotta have a desire that matches his own, only then will he offer what you seek.

Warnings: dark themes, two feral cats energy, mentions of deceased bodies, Joel is an asshole that knows how to get exactly what he wants. Dark! Joel, post!outbreak, Joel and Tess run the black market in the QZ, age gap, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her late 20’s, mentions of drugs, smoking, alcohol, graphic depictions of violence, reader is a spitfire with a no-shit taking attitude, enemies to lovers type beat, Joel likes to play mind games, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is Angel, +18 minors dni!

The first time you meet the infamous Joel Miller is in his and Tess’s apartment in one of the few available Boston QZ apartments. Rumor on the street is that Joel and Tess are an item. When in all actuality, they’re business partners that occasionally fuck. His options, however, are not just limited to Tess. He likes to keep that part of his business on the low. He’s got a reputation, sure. But he doesn’t boast it proudly like a peacock. He knows his expertise, and he knows it well. His purpose in the structure of the QZ was smuggling. He’d bring pills, booze, ammo, guns, and anything else that was desirable. He’d trade for ration cards; a hefty amount of them. Sometimes, he’d allow his customers to trade their bodies, but he was quite picky, and it ain’t had anything to do with women’s appearances. In that department, he indulged in all body types. What he was most intrigued about was their minds. Their ability to survive, and most importantly, what they desired most in this shit-hole world.

He liked it when they were verbal. Silence was not a name in his game. He liked it when they showed up at his doorstep knowing exactly what it was that they wanted from him. He could play all the cards, and he played them well. He could be empathetic if they asked for it. He could pretend to love them just for the night. He could yank their hair, dig his nails into their flesh and call them a dirty, useless whore, but only if it was requested. See, he wasn’t all that brutal of a man, but if you weren’t careful and direct, he might send you home with more than just an ache between your thighs. He knew how to fuck, and he enjoyed it almost as much as he enjoyed beating a man senseless, almost.

You, however, held no interest to know what laid beneath his weathered jeans. You showed up wanting one thing, and one thing only. A vice to fill the hole in the void of your heart. You knew that Joel Miller’s menu was just what the doctor ordered.

Tess and Joel were seated at the kitchen table going through their supplies for the day. They had their usual customers, but Joel was always intrigued to see new faces walk through his door.

A cigarette dangled between his lips as he flipped through a stack of ration cards. The scent of tobacco wafted through the cracks in the door frame as your knuckles rapped firmly along the chipped paint. You knocked once, then twice five seconds later. It was customary like a code. Not that Joel or Tess had any concerns with FEDRA; they were a part of his regular cycle of customers too.

“Come in.” His voice was thick, deep, and dripping with authority.

The tip of the cigarette glowed bright orange as he inhaled the toxic fumes. The nicotine that coursed through his system calmed his nerves. Everyone had their own skeletons in their closets after all.

He paused his counting momentarily as he listened to the door handle squeak before it was pushed open.

“Sit.” He rasped with his freehand gesturing to the open seat in front of the table. “State your business.”

You watched the way the smoke coiled around his head like an ashy halo through the stagnant air. His brow cocked in your direction as his eyes zoned in on the stack of ration cards that you pulled from your jacket pocket.

“I was told that your menu is designed to cater to one's vices. I’m needin’ a bottle of booze, and a pack of smokes if you got any.” You placed the ration cards along the table before leaning back against the chairs frame.

“We ain’t got a whole pack, unfortunately. Five cards gets you five sticks, and three gets ya a bottle of hooch.” He declared in his warm Texas twang.

He was handsome, you’d give him that satisfaction only.

“I’ve got ten cards total. How about you throw’n two more smokes to make it even?” You countered smoothly as you crossed your arms against your chest.

“A negotiator, huh? Well, I'll tell ya what, girlie. Y’got yourself a deal. Y’new around here? Ain’t seen ya before.” He knew pretty much every face in the QZ. But yours remained a mystery. He wasn’t all too big of a fan of mysteries.

“Don’t think that is any of your concern, Joel.” You ignored his question as you passed off the cards.

“True.” He mused with a grin tugging across his lips. ‘S’alright. I’ll jus’ end up findin’ out about you in my own way.” He shrugged with the utmost casualness that sent your blood boiling under the surface. “Besides, my customers always end up comin’ back for more.” He grabbed a bottle of hooch and seven freshly rolled cigarettes concealed in tinfoil.

“There ain’t much for you to find out. Wouldn’t go wastin’ your time.” You grabbed the bottle swiftly before tucking it into the inner lining of your jacket. Before he could send you on your way, however, you unrolled the tinfoil to inspect the handiwork. Once you were satisfied with the merch, you plucked one of the cigarettes and placed it between your lips. “You got a light I can borrow?”

His nose twitched and his eyes squinted tightly before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. He beckoned you silently to lean in as he ignited the flame.

“Y’know, these are a nasty habit to break.” He leaned back into his chair with his own cigarette dying between his lips. “Ain’t nothin’ like a good ole’ fashioned nicotine addiction.”

You scoffed under your breath as you took a deep inhale of the cancerous smoke that filled your lungs. “Says the man puffin’ away on one right in front of my face.”

He didn’t even look half fazed by your remark as he blew the smoke drifting from his lips off to the side.

You stared at one another a second longer before you stood up from your chair and snatched the cigarettes from the table.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, Joel Miller. See ya around.”

Before he could respond, you were already slipping back out his apartment door and into the hallway.

“Man, she’s got a pair of balls on her, huh?” Tess mused from her seat alongside him.

“Yeah,” He smirked. “She sure does.”

The next time you saw Joel Miller was a few weeks later. You were assigned with assisting in dumping deceased infected into the deep pits where their flesh would be burned and melted away and all that would be remaining was their brittle bones. You had done this job enough times to get used to the putrid stench of rotting flesh. Others, however, couldn’t stand the smell. Some would pass out, others would empty what little was in their stomachs.

A denim-clad shoulder brushed against you as you lifted another body from the truck bed.

“Fancy seein’ you here, Angel.” Joel’s voice was muffled through the bandana he wore across his face, but you knew it was him just from that Texas twang of his.

Your eyes rolled back as walked past him and dropped the body into the flames that engulfed it.

“C’mon now.” He mused. “I know y’heard me.” He pressed.

“Fuck off, Joel.” You muttered under your breath as you bumped his shoulder harshly.

“Y’break that nasty habit yet?” He asked with a twinge of curiosity.

“Nope. Don’t plan on it either.”

Much to your relief, he walked away without speaking another word. It was short-lived however as he was standing right behind you in line to receive your ration cards for the day. The air was hot and almost unbearable as you wiped the sweat of your brow along your sleeve. When the cards were placed into your outstretched palm you shoved them deep into your pocket. The pay wasn’t worth the work that you put in.

Before you could disappear around the corner of the alley to head home, a hand grasped your shoulder rather firmly and before you could reach for your concealed weapon, your back was met with something hard that nearly knocked the air from your lungs.

Joel Miller.

“Just what the fuck do you think you’re doin’, Joel?!” You hissed under your breath as he flipped you around to face him.

“Got a proposition for ya, girlie. Trust me, you’ll want in.” His voice dipped down an octave as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of pills. Painkillers you suspected. The kind of shit that people could easily find themselves getting addicted to.

“And what makes you fuckin’ think that I would wanna do anythin’ for you?” What the fuck was this guys problem? The nerve he had.

“Cus’ I know there’s somethin’ that you want. Somethin’ that you need. Besides, you ain’t gonna make it long here if you don’t start usin’ people. S’the only way to survive in this world now. So, here’s what you’re gonna do. Tess and I wanna branch out further and in order to do that, we gotta get the rest of FEDRA off our backs.”

“You ain’t know shit about me, Joel. I’m doin’ just fine on my own.” You ripped your arm from his grasp, but he was quicker than you expected.

“I ain’t askin’ you, Angel. I’m tellin.’ Now, you’re gonna take these pills, and you’re gonna go on over to those guys o’there, and you’re gonna trade them. Y’get half the ration cards from the deal. Seem fair?” His tall stature loomed over you like a shadow being casted across the sun. Everything about this man was massive. His hands. His bulging arms. His shoulders. He was built like a fucking fridge, and he clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“Is this what you do to all of your customers? Corner them into alleys and force them to do your dirty work for you?” You scoffed as you ripped the baggy from his hand. “And I get all the cards. I ain’t gonna let you just go and boss me around for half.”

“Jus’ the pretty ones that have a mouth to ‘em.” He mused with a wicked grin. “Fine. Y’get all the cards, but only if they agree to trade. Go on now, Angel. Time's a tickin away.” He nudged you forward with the palm of his calloused hand resting along your lower back.

“Asshole.” You hissed under your breath as you stashed the pills into your pocket before departing from the alley. If there was one thing you were good at, it was getting men to give you exactly what you wanted. You could flutter your lashes, giggle, flirt a little and their little egos would be crushed to dust beneath your fingertips.

“Hey boys, got a minute?” You spoke in a honeyed voice as the three officers diverted their attention towards you.

Joel watched from the shadows of the alley as you worked your charm like a fiddle. He was impressed with your natural skills. You certainly were no pushover. He did wonder if this was all a facade that you wore confidently. He thought briefly about what it would be like to have you beneath his sheets. What would you request from him? Would you ask him to be sweet and gentle? To fuck you like a man oughta? Or, would you be willing to share your deepest, darkest, filthy desires with him? He hoped for the latter.

When the deal was done, you made your way back across the street. Maybe Joel Miller was right. Maybe you should start using people for what they have. Who gave a fuck about morale anyway?

“How’d it go?” he inquired with his broad arms crossed against his chest as he leaned back against the brick wall.

“They wouldn’t take the bait unfortunately.” You let out a faux sigh. “Guess the deal is off.”

“What a shame, Angel. I surely thought you had it in ya. Guess I was wrong. Oh well. Good luck to ya.” He pushed himself off the wall only to find himself being pushed right up against it. Your palm lay flat against his chest as your freehand reached into your pocket and pulled out a single ration card.

His brow raised curiously as you went to slip the card into his back pocket. His eyes widened when he felt the warmth of your fingers searing through his jeans. At this close proximity, he got a proper whiff of your natural scent, and his cock pathetically twitched in the tight confines of the denim.

“Here’s your half of the deal. Decided to be generous.” You whispered through the thick growing tension.

His hand reached up to grab your wrist but before he could make contact with your skin, you were already stepping away from his reach. Your fingers rose in a mock salute before you turned on your heel and walked away.

Fuck. She’s perfect.

The next time Joel Miller saw you it's past curfew. Hours to be exact. The Boston QZ streets are quiet sans the labored breathing and deep grunts coming from a group of low-life scumbags.

“I already told you, I don’t have shit on me!” You emptied out your pockets to show these fuckers that you weren’t messing around. Would raw honesty really keep these men from tearing you apart?

“Bullshit. Y’got stuff back at your place, right? C’mon now darlin’, don’t lie to us. We’ve seen you hangin’ around Miller. Y’workin’ with him?” The man that had you pinned against the brick wall pressed further.

“Oh, for fuck sakes! Are y’all really that boneheaded to think that i’m gonna be carryin’ merch on me out in the open like this?!” You yelled out of frustration as you tried to pin your wrists free to reach your concealed knife.

“How about you shut the fuck up and tell us where Joel’s apartment is, and we won’t have to kill you. How’s that sound?” The man twisted your wrists tightly to the point where you were just waiting to hear a sickening crack.

“I don’t know where his apartment is, asshole. And even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell the likes of you because i’m not a fuckin’ rat!” You hissed between your gritted teeth as you threw your head back in one swift movement right into the face of the man that was holding you hostage. His nose crunched audibly from the force as he stumbled back right onto his ass.

Blood pooled and gushed down his lips as he yelled out a slew of profanities in your direction. Just as you were reaching for your knife, it was knocked from your grasp and clattered to the concrete out of your reach.

A fist collided with your face that sent you slamming into the brick wall with your ears wildly ringing.

You detected a familiar voice through your half-conscious haze as you slumped down to the ground with a labored wheeze.

A sickening crunch, followed by a strangled yell as Joel had one of the men in a headlock. Their body dropped to the ground like a bag of bricks. Eyes forever unmoving. The man that you headbutted was desperately trying to crawl away as Joel staggered after him. He bent down, grasping the hilt of your knife in his calloused palm.

His pupils were dark like a never ending black pit as he sent his steel-toed boot colliding into his gut over and over again. The man’s wails died in his throat as Joel flipped him over onto his back and slit his throat with one fatal swipe. Blood spurted from the entry wound and speckled Joel’s skin in a spray of crimson.

The third man almost got away, but Joel fired a bullet right into his spine without a second thought.

He focused his attention on you as he crouched down, knife still in his grasp, dripping with blood onto the pavement. His freehand grasped your face gently as he assessed your injuries. His good ear detected the sound of tires crunching under gravel; FEDRA.

“Angel, we need to go. We need to move. NOW.” He spoke urgently as he tucked your knife away before placing that hand along your shoulder. “FEDRA is gonna be here any minute, and I don’t know about you, but my ass is NOT bein’ thrown in lockup!”

When you didn’t immediately respond to his dire request, he took matters into his own hands, literally. You felt his strong arms lift you from the ground as if you weighed nothing. He left the crime scene in a flash. He was speaking to you, but you couldn’t detect his words as his mouth was moving too fast.

The last thing you remembered seeing was his dark, espresso brown eyes, and his blood spattered skin.

“Need’ya to open your eyes for me, sweetheart. C’mon. Guy knocked ya pretty good, but you’ll live.” Joel murmured close to your face as you were coming to.

What the fuck.

Your lashes fluttered for a moment and then snapped open. Despite the ache in your face from being punched, and the pounding in your skull, you immediately shot your hands upwards and shoved harshly at his broad chest.

“Joel?! What the actual fuck–”

“Ah, there she is. The sleepin’ beauty awakes, finally!” He’s grinning like a cheshire cat as he moves off the couch to give you space to breathe.

“What the fuck are you doin’ here, Joel?”

“Wow.” He tuts under his breath dissaprovingly. “Can’t even get a thank you for savin’ your fuckin’ life?”

“I had the situation handled on my own. What the hell were you doin’ out past curfew anyway?” You sat up a little too fast as blood rushed to your head.

His strong hands were gently easing you back down to a lying position before he was backing off again.

“Easy now, Angel. I wouldn’t sit up a’that fast if I were you.” He warned you sternly.

“Well, good thing you aren’t me, huh?” You snapped back as you swung your legs over the side of the couch.

This time he was more forceful in his actions as his hands pressed down on your shoulders firmly. “I said, stay put. God, can’t you jus’ fuckin’ listen to me when I tell ya to take it easy? You’re gonna bust your nose back open, and the stitches on the back of your head. Just chill the fuck out.” You could taste his hot breath on his tongue and feel his pulse quicken. The bulging veins in his neck protruded through the thin skin.

You swallowed harshly as your gaze wavered along the remnants of blood on his skin. Why didn’t he bother to wash it off? You couldn't help but wonder.

“I didn’t fuckin’ need your help, Joel. And you still haven’t answered my previous question either.”

He rolled his eyes before he lifted his hands from your shoulders and stalked away into the kitchen. You heard him grumbling under his breath as he slammed open a cabinet door that was already hanging by the hinges on its last legs.

“Oh, I see. So you’re just gonna ignore me now? Y’know, its fuckin’ rude to not answer someone when they ask you a question, Joel.” You muttered mostly to yourself, but you secretly had hoped that he heard you too.

Two semi-cleaned glasses were yanked from the sink and lifted from their rims as Joel swiped up a bottle of whiskey before stalking back over to the couch. He slammed the glasses down on the faded coffee table before popping the cap off with his teeth.

You were infuriating. Disrespectful. And he wanted nothing more than to put you right back into your fucking place. He however, refrained from doing so and instead poured a large splash of amber liquor into both glasses.

“Y’know, Angel. One day that mouth of yours is gonna send ya six feet under.” He stated firmly as he picked up his glass, swirled the liquor around before throwing it down his throat in one gulp.

Your eyes narrowed into slits as you glared at him from the couch. You reached for your own glass as you slowly sat up. He was pouring himself another when you downed the liquor without a fuss.

“I am well aware of that, Joel.” You deadpanned and he poured you another.

“Good, that’s real good, Angel. S’then it should come as no surprise to you that I think you’re a fuckin’ disrespectful brat.” He rasped low and deep as his words rumbled like an oncoming storm.

The tension in the room was palpable as you stared one another down. Two predators with sharpened claws ready to strike.

______

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[jamilelucato]

blue - 001

show: Stranger Things [SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4]

pairing: female reader x peter ballard

summary: growing up in the lab with Dr Brenner for a father wasn't easy, but you had a friend that made things a bit tolerable.

It wasn’t easy being the daughter of Dr Martin Brenner, but you did your best to please him. He was a very systematic man, who wished to control everything and everyone as he saw fit, and you had no problem following orders, except that it was clear your father was setting you up for failure. He never made a secret that he did not like that you were born a female, not a male, and you guessed that was the reason behind all of his impossible requests he kept on making, always wanting more of your brain than it could ever learn.

That was the reason why you grew old in his lab in Hawkins— he expected you to follow him around like a loyal dog, and you were generally making notes on the things you saw in there.

It was no surprise to you when he asked for your presence to see something that had arrived at the lab. “A new subject,” he had called the boy, not as if dad was king and, the boy, his commoner, but as if the boy was a school subject, as it was what your father envisioned the boy to be to you.

“Come on in, daughter,” he said, getting up from where he was sitting. “This is number one.”

You walked in slowly, scared. You were barely ten, but smarter than most teens, but at that moment, you felt like a little dear, scared for his life. You stared at the boy sitting in front of where your father was and you were shocked to find a calm boy. You expected to see someone as scared as you, or even more, but no. Number 001, as your father called him, was serene, and he stared back at you like he could see your very soul.

“Number one, this is my daughter, [y/n] Brenner,” your father made the room so you could sit in the chair he once sat in. “Get familiar with her, as she is to be your future doctor, once she graduates.”

The boy stared back at your father. His head movement was weird as if he was used to having some hair to move when looking up, but there was no hair on top of his head, just his buzzcut.

“I’ll let you two get to know each other, as I’m sure my daughter can enlighten you about who I am,” was the last thing your father said before leaving and locking the door behind.

You gulped, forcing yourself to stop facing the door and look back at the boy.

He looked your age, maybe just a bit older. 

“My name is not one,” he said, breaking the silence with a rasping voice.

“I’m sorry?”

He smiled, not showing his teeth. It was as if he found pleasure in seeing you confused.

“My name’s Henry.”

“Was,” you corrected him because that was expected. You knew that even though your father left, he could be watching you two, by the mirror windows or even the cameras. You learned long ago that they were everywhere in the lab. “You’re not Henry anymore.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

Then, the quietness came again. No one uttered a word. You were still nervous, gulping by the second, but the boy just laid back, watching. You didn’t like the silence, it made you overthink.

“You can call me just by [y/n], you know,” you said.

“Not a doctor then?”

“Oh, as much as my Papa likes to brag, I’ll only graduate high school next year. I still have a while before getting hold of my doctored degree.”

“Graduating high school?” that seemed to surprise him.

You couldn’t help but smile. It was a hard life, studying like crazy and not ever getting complimented, but you liked knowing you were a genius. “I am young as I look, but as my father’s daughter, I must be at the top of not just my class, but everyone else’s.”

“Must be exhausting,” he replied, looking away. 

He wasn’t expecting you to agree in a whisper. “It is.”

Both of you exchanged a knowing look. Maybe there was not much knowledge of each other, but there was of yourselves. You knew you weren’t gonna have an easy life, and he knew he was destined for one difficult as well. Doomed, was the word, but back then, you didn’t know. You just didn’t know.

~~

“Sorry I’m late, P,” you said, sitting down on the white floor.

Everything was white at that goddam lab, but you were used to it, or at least, it didn’t bother you as much as it did in the beginning. 

Your friend Henry, or as you nicknamed him Peter, was the Number 001, and he was already in the room, sitting on the floor at the very same spot you two had found for each other. It was nice being able to just sit on the ground, and not care about getting dirty, as if there was any chance of that happening in the lab. It was simple and it put you two on the same level, which was true even if your papa wouldn’t agree.

Before getting your doctorate, you and Henry were not much of friends, although you supposed you were each other’s closest person in each life. Peter had access to the other kids, the other numbers, but they were just babies, while you spent your life alone, guided solely by Dr Brenner, your father. It was lonely for both of you, and once you had your degree in your hands, you decided to get closer to the boy who was always staring you around when you came down to the lab.

At first, your father did not approve of your specialization in psychology, but once he started filling the lab with children, he realized your diploma was very much in need, and he gave you a room, so you could listen and take notes on each of the kids’ complaints.

And even though number 001 was no longer a kid, he still had a scheduled hour with you, every Tuesday and Thursday.

When he walked in, for his first appointment ever, you were as nervous as he was shocked to see you. You had only turned eighteen, but he was about to be nineteen, and a lot had changed. Yeah, you saw each other grow up, but not as frequently as the hearts would hope, and a lot had changed.

You were one of them now, at least it was how he saw you that very first Tuesday. You were dressed in white, with your hair fixed in a tight ponytail. There were no more pink and yellow dresses. And he had changed too. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his light blue eyes, and he was way taller than you. 

You remembered him being cold, scared to talk. Of course, he did not lose his posture of serenity, as if he was always the most intelligent one in every room he walked in. 

Neither of you remembered how or when it all changed, how you two came to agree with sitting on the floor and sharing your lunch (you always brought something tasty from the outside, something the kids would never have access to). Something had happened — maybe a look you shared or a word he spoke, neither of you could point at the thing, but both were very glad it had happened.

Peter looked forward to his appointments with you, for it was the only hour he had to be himself, to feel free. Yes, your room was as white as the rest of the place, but when it was just the two of you behind the closed door, suddenly, it felt coloured. It felt rainbowy.

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’m not used to being alone,” he said, jokingly, and you pushed him with your left hand while he laughed. “You shouldn’t…” he had to pause because he was laughing too hard “... push me like this, Dr; I’m sure your father won’t like it.”

“Papa?” you echoed. It was funny now that you were twenty to call him papa because that was the very nickname Dr Brenner was forcing the kids, the other numbers, to call him. Well, the word was not funny per se, as it was more weird than comic. “Papa can’t see in here,” you said, smiling, “so I just kill you and it won’t matter.”

Peter smiled again, that beautiful smile that always heated your heart. His hair was growing again, out of his buzzcut, as you noticed it happened way faster than with the other kids. It was so unfair, you thought, for he had the most beautiful golden hair. You were thankful the numbers had a schedule for haircuts, and Peter had to wait for the day with the others, instead of being taken to cut it earlier, because then it allowed you moments like that one, where you could see some locks fighting to grow.

You took advantage of his silence to inform some news.

“I’ve been talking to him, you know. I think… I think he will allow it, P. He’ll let you be a worker here, not just…”

“Don’t say patient,” he quickly interrupted you, knowing very well you hated to use ‘subject’ even though it was way better than ‘prisoner’, which he was.

You stared at him, focusing on every detail of his blue eyes.

You didn’t understand what happened to you two, why were you like this… How did you become friends? And is that the ideal word for the two of you?

Unlike most of the other numbers, Number One had a childhood outside the lab. He got to know some customs of American society, customs that used to reveal themselves without him realizing it. You liked those moments—when he referenced some ‘50s song, or even when he opened the door and let you out first. Most of the other kids couldn’t even form a sentence properly—and they were barely aware of some American habits and customs. It was like talking to little Tarzans, rescued from the forest.

“Sometimes... do you sometimes think about your life before?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Stop analyzing me,” he said, pretending to be angry, but he knew very well that the question had been asked by [y/n] and not by Dr [y/n] Brenner. He was avoiding answering you, which probably meant that yes, he often thought about it. When he was Peter, though he was still Peter when he walked into your room. He’d never be Number One there — you would never allow it. “I think of my father.”

You gulped, nervously, just like you used to do when you were a kid. 

There wasn’t much you knew about Peter’s life before he met your father, but you knew enough. He killed his parents, or at least he tried to kill his father, but only managed to end his mother and sister. You never knew his motives, for he never talked about it. All the info you had was given by your father, but he didn’t usually care for motives, only for results. So Dr Brenner theorized Peter killed his family because of something traumatic he must’ve been through, and that was enough. 

For you, however, the question always remained.

“Your father… he was imprisoned, right?” you asked, trying to play it casually. You had done your research, but in any way did you want to scare him.

Peter looked back at you, your elbows almost touching.

“He was,” he said as if he wanted to say more but just couldn’t.

“Sometimes, I wish my father went to prison,” you let out your guilty truth. You knew what your father did to the kids, you weren’t dumb. But you spent so many years trying to please him, that it was hard to imagine yourself doing anything that could jeopardize your papa. Besides, his research was important, the kids maybe did not receive the best of treatments, for the love Dr Brenner offered was only when the children had reached important achievements but wasn’t that the love he offered you, his very blood daughter?

You watched Peter as he frowned, clearly feeling sorry for you. Although that was one of the rare comments you made about your father that could indicate a bad upbringing, it was only presumed that the boy used by the doctor would assume that the man was not a good father.

“One day,” he said, “we’ll get out of here, huh.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. We’ll get your fancy diploma and my crazy abilities and make a world of our own.”

“I don’t know about a world,” you smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder. “I’m happy with just a house.”

He tilted his head towards yours and the two of you just stayed there, in silence, enjoying each other’s company. There was so much to be said… but there was never the right time. You hoped Peter understood that dreaming of leaving was just that: a dream. You couldn’t escape your papa, and he could even less, as he was not just his whole research base but also his favourite prisoner.

~~

Peter wanted to protect you.

He always wanted to protect you, ever since he met you, the little girl in pigtails, walking in all nervous and looking at him as if you were surprised and scared at the same time. He was not much older than you, but somehow he knew it was his job to be the protector.

He saw through your mind — even though he didn't want to, it was inevitable with a power like his. He saw that you were just the perfect daughter even though your father was far from being the perfect papa you saw him as. He saw a mind as complex and smart as his and he was glad to find in you a twin soul.

Although he saw you grow old, he didn’t see you as often as he hoped, and there were weeks when he grew desperate, thinking Dr Brenner had done some evil against you, but then, all of the sudden, you were crossing the corridors following him around like a puppy, taller and prettier than the last time he saw you, and that was enough. It had to be.

However, three weeks before his nineteenth birthday, a guard came to his room, asking for him to accompany him for Number One had an appointment. Needless to say, Peter was very surprised when, opening the door, he found [y/n], dressed in white this time, just like the other doctors, but at the same time so different. She still had the same energy — a scared little genius. She looked pretty, more like a woman this time than the last, even though she was younger than him.

He was surprised, but he managed to pretend he was careless. What were you doing there, in a room all alone in the lab? He thought by now you’d be free of her father, but he was wrong. Or maybe you didn’t want to be free. Maybe you had become one of them officially. 

So he kept his cold distance, scared you were gonna run more tests with him.

But it wasn’t what you did.

In your first appointment, you just sat there and told him about your trajectory, similar to your first conversation when he was eleven years old, except this time you had managed to accomplish all of those things your father had only planned.

He listened to it all because, why wouldn't he? It was you after all. His weak spot. The one that would doom him. 

Before he knew it, he was anxious, waiting for your next appointment, and, although again, he remained silent and just listened to you, he noticed that he liked it. He just liked being in your presence.

Something happened then, something shifted, and before he knew it, he was telling you everything, all about the tests and the powers; powers you could not comprehend, but that didn’t stop him from trying to explain and eventually show them to you.

Friends, he supposed. You two were friends. He had never thought of calling someone that before, but perhaps it was fit for the little relationship you two had formed.

And since he defined you as a friend, it was no surprise that one day, Dr Brenner, the Dr Brenner, requested his presence in his office.

“Yes, Papa?” he hated to call the man that, he was bloody twenty-one years old, but if he called Brenner any other thing, he would be a dead man by the morning.

“I have been watching you closely, my boy,” he said, trying to put emotion in his words, but failing miserably. “And I think, as you’ve come of age, you should have a more important job here. Perhaps it’s time you help the other children, huh? Help them achieve their potential maximum, as I’ve done with you. You could be my left hand.”

Peter lowered his head, pretending to be honoured. There was no honour in serving Dr Brenner, but Peter knew it was better being a guard than being a subject. At least someone (the children) would stop looking at him like a child that grew too fast. 

“That would be an honour, Papa. I mean, sir, as I suppose should be the one I should call you now,” Peter said, testing the waters. “It wouldn’t be right for the kids to see that Number One is in charge but they aren’t, right?”

Dr Brenner took a second to observe.

“Right. It’d be best if they didn’t know you are Number One. let them think he grew and left for the world. You shall be… I forgot; what was your name from before again, my boy?”

“Peter,” he replied, but soon realised he did it too quickly.

The doctor stared at number One, analysing, pensive towards his easiness of recalling his name. He wasn’t supposed to be remembering that time of freedom, before the lab. 

Peter felt like that was his first test in the new position and he had just failed.

“Well, Peter, that shall be you calling from now on. Go to your room, yes? I’ll send someone to take your things to a new area of the building and explain your duties in the new position. But be clear that I’ll still expect you to continue training.”

“Sure. Thank you for the opportunity, sir.” And Peter left, not fast enough, but he did not stay to hear more — he just wanted to leave.

~~

“Who’s that?” he asked you, following the little girl that was accompanying your father as they passed down the hall.

“Eleven,” you said, as that was the number the little girl was designated and you had no idea what her real name was. “She’s been raised here, but isolated. Papa thinks she’s powerful.”

Peter crossed his arms, still following the girl with his eyes.

His hair was longer than the last time you saw him, and you liked it that way. Since he became a guard and helper, Dr Brenner cut him off from his appointments with you, so you were only able to see Peter if by chance you two crossed paths in the halls, like it was happening there.

It was unfortunate that you couldn’t see each other weekly, but you knew he would rather be a guard than be a ‘patient’, as you used to call and he used to hate it.

“Powerful how?”

“She had been through this whole way of birth… I don’t know how to explain it. She’s not a patient of mine,” you said.

“Why?” he questioned, genuinely interested.

“I don’t know. Papa says she’s too young. But I’ve talked to her, during some tests… She indeed seems very powerful. Talented.” You tilted your head, remembering the first time you saw Eleven.

“So she’s his new Number One,” Peter uncrossed his arms, only to smile at you, tossing his blond locks away from his eyes.

“You’re still number one,” unfortunately, you thought, a bit sad.

“Am I still the most talented and powerful person in the lab?”

“Oh,” you decided to provoke him. “I think Eleven wins.”

“How dare you!” he said, but he was laughing, and soon, so was you.

When you noticed the time on your watch, you decided to ask for a favour.

“Just… watch over her, huh? I feel like you’ll see her more than me, as it seems father won’t trust her over my surveillance. Eleven, she feels like she’ll need a friend.”

“You know you’re my only friend,” he said, and his expression was serious. He wasn’t lying.

“And you’re mine.”

He sighed. “I’ll watch over her.”

“Thank you,” you mouthed, soundless before leaving to go back to your job.

Peter watched as you left, reflecting on your plea. He saw in your mind that you cared for Eleven, more than you cared for the other kids. And if your request was for him to watch over the little girl, then he would be his bloody guardian if needed.

~~

“Happy birthday, doc.” 

You stared up from your cupcake with a candle on top to see Peter, also known as Number One, in your room. There were rare times when he would come in, especially after he stopped being your patient, so you were surprised with his visit, but mostly, you were concerned because he saw your sad moment with the birthday cupcake.

“Thank you, P,” you said, shrugging and blowing the candle. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to say happy birthday. I know those things matter to you.”

You tilted your head while frowning before replying, jokingly, attempting to distract him from your real reasons. “It stopped mattering when I turned 25.”

“[y/n],” he smiled and walked in, closing the door behind, “you just turned 30. You’re not old.”

You were glad he decided not to mention your father — the real reason behind your sad birthdays. He never remembered, or he was always busy; you wish it didn’t matter, mainly as you grew older, but it still bothered you. Fortunately, you had Peter.

“I don't think I've mentioned it before but I like when you call me Peter,” he said, changing subjects.

“I'd never call you 001.”

“I know, but... you could call me Henry. It's better than the number,” he shrugged. “I like being Peter, the guy that works at the lab and not Henry the cursed son of a troubled man.”

You lowered your head, remaining in silence for you had not what to say after that.

“How’s Eleven?” you asked, because, as it seemed, you cared for the girl and it was a good way to change the subject. It was only natural to ask about her to the person who was spending at least ten hours per day with her.

Peter came closer to your chair, looking down at you with pity. It wasn’t as if Eleven was in danger (not more in danger than all of them) or as if she was a stupid child, but Peter didn't like that you cared that much. It made him care too, and that was unforgivable.

“She’s okay. The other kids don’t like her, but she’s managing,” he said.

You sighed. “Well, I suppose it could be worse.”

“Sure. It’s not as if your father isn’t experimenting on her or something.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like it isn’t the truth?” he replied, bothered that you didn’t like his sick joke.

“I know what my father does, ok? Do you think I like it?” you shouted, perhaps a bit too louder than needed. “Do you think I have any power against it?”

“No, but I do! I have power!” he yelled back. “Just say the word, [y/n], and we’ll burn this place to the ground.”

By place, you knew he meant your father. Your Papa.

And even though you had enough reasons to agree, you just couldn’t.

You sighed, giving up on the fight.  

“I’m sorry,” Peter sighed too, and he placed one of his hands on your chin, forcing you to look back up, to look at him again. You allowed him, mostly because you were tired, but partly because it calmed you down to look at his beautiful blue eyes. “I didn’t come in here to fight. I wanted to give you a gift. For your birthday.”

You stared at him, confused. You could see his hands — there was no package in them.

But Peter’s gift… it didn’t need to be wrapt. 

Growing up with parents that loved each other was kinda gross, at least it was what young Peter thought, seeing them touching lips all the time. He didn’t understand the reason behind it, why would they need to kiss at every chance they got? 

Then, Peter came to the lab, he became Number One, his mother was dead, and he forgot all about it. He forgot the name of the feeling humans have, the one that curls up their stomachs and makes their hearts beat faster. He forgot it all until he didn’t. Until you showed up. And maybe his heart was racing, maybe he wanted to touch you.

Sometimes, brushing shoulders wasn’t enough.

So he remembered something, something lost in his past and probably unfamiliar to you too, as both had weird upbringings, but he thought it was just perfect. Peter knew he had to give it a try.

He raised his hand from your chin to your cheek and allowed the other to follow. Your eyes widened as you understood what was going on, but you did nothing to stop him. Hell, you had been waiting for that for decades.

You could leave the lab, you had access to movies. Even though there weren’t many kisses in your life — motherless childhood and all (besides the fact that you were always the nerd in school and life) — you desired to be kissed. You waited for that moment when you were fifteen, then at eighteen, then strong as ever when you were twenty (when Peter burst in celebrating being repositioned as a guard and not a simple number). 

So you let him and you responded to the kiss. You touched him too, pulling him by his golden hair that you so much admired, and you let your lips open just enough that he could understand the signal. And Peter understood, as he too wanted more — wanted to feel you, taste you, and not just lips and tong, but hands, oh, wandering hands that travelled from your cheekbones to your curves, to pull you close.

If first you were sitting and he had to lean down to reach you, that was in the past minute, because he managed to change your positions with ease, placing you over his lap as he sat on your chair.

“I think…” you started but he kissed you, silencing you.

“Don’t think,” he replied. “If you think, I’ll think.”

“Peter…”

You could feel his smile on your lips.

“Let’s reshape the world, [y/n],” he whispered, kissing your neck, “join me.”

His hands tightened on your back when he noticed you froze. Damn it, he thought.

“We can free all the numbers and we can remake this place, this world, however, we see fit.”

“Why are you saying this to me?” you asked, confused. You thought it was about kissing, but maybe this primitive form of touch awoke something in him. It was two desires combined and you were scared Peter wasn’t gonna forget it.

There was no escaping your father, as much as you liked to dream about it.

You kissed him again. “Forget it, Peter.”

You pulled him closer by the collar of his white shirt.

“Focus on me.”

“It’s all I’ve been focused on, [y/n]. Couldn’t you see? How desperate I am to leave but I stay? Why do you believe I stay?” he kissed you back but this time you pulled away. “Don’t think, [y/n].”

You tried to find his eyes, his calming blue eyes that you loved to stare at. You would see sense there. You would see the real him there.

And you saw the real him there.

Blue. Ice cold blue eyes.

“Peter, let me go,” you said, expecting him to drop his hands from your leg and back.

But he didn’t.

“You just kissed me, Peter, why can’t you enjoy it?”

He shook his head. “How can I? Do you think your father will give us his blessing?”

You closed your eyes.

“And even if he does, do you think he’ll leave us be? Do you think he’ll let my children be?”

You gulped. “You’re overthinking, Peter,” you said, trying to remain calm.

“With whom do you think I’ve to learn it?” his voice was louder and it echoed in the room.

“Let me go,” you asked, but he ignored you, he just kept going with his monologue about the world and freedom. “Let me go, Number One.”

He instantly dropped you. One minute you were on his lap, the other you were on the floor. You got up, adjusting your skirt, trying to get to the door.

“Why did you call me that, Dr Brenner?”

You gulped.

“Why did you have to call me that, Dr Brenner?!”

You finally reached for the door. You had the handle in your fingers. He wasn’t holding you anymore. It was going to be ok.

“Say you’re sorry, please, [y/n],” Peter said, his blue eyes looking deep into yours.

“I’m sorry I called you by your number, ok? It won’t happen again.”

“That’s not the apology I wanted to hear.”

“Peter…”

“I think I loved you, did you know that?” he asked, getting closer, step by step, slowly.

You just knew you were doomed because the goddamn door didn’t open no matter how hard you pulled or pushed.

“Loved?”

“I think you loved me too.”

“I love you too,” you said, in an attempt to save your life, even though it was the truth. 

“Tisk tisk,” he made the noise with his tongue. “Loved, dear. Loved.”

He didn’t even raise his hand before it all went dark.

[misstycloud]

How to stop your husband from being weird: situation one- digging in the middle of the night.

One of the things that I have noticed about my dear husband, Arlo (bless his soul), is the constant digging in our backyard; he leaves in the middle of the night and when I dare glance out the window, I see him. His back is always facing towards me, so I can’t get a good look at his face. He is a very expressive person and I can tell what he thinks from simply looking at his face, hence why this is somewhat concerning.

Had I known that my dearest would wake up during ungodly hours of the night, get dressed, fetch the garden tools from the shed, and then proceed to dig a massive hole, then maybe I would have hesitated to say ‘yes’. (Do not be worried, I love my husband deeply and this was just a little joke.)

Joke aside, it is still very annoying. Does he not know this will keep me awake too? I have work to do and I can’t keep on going if my sleep is this disturbed. I would have to be some sort of abomination- a vampire perhaps?

That is not all; I find dirt particles inside our house; I clean for nothing apparently.

I have tried bringing this up(somewhat hard to ask your spouse why they are leaving you all cold and lonely in the middle of the night) with Arlo, but every time he changed the subject. The audacity! He even asks me if I’m ill and is in need of a doctor. I tell him ‘I am quite fine thank you very much!’ and remind him my eyesight is good, I’m not imagining things and I know he’s been up to something in the yard. I also know he’s not preparing to pot new plants for summer so he better not try that with me.

Last time I tried prying the answer out of him, he finally relented and gave me what I wanted.

His explanation: I have been finding a lot of roadkill and other deceased animals lately. I didn’t want you to have to see it. You know I work so many hours, I don’t have time during the day, that’s why I bury them at night. It’s horrible, but understandable since they’re rebuilding the library and trucks loaded with materials drive by often.

Whether I believe this explanation or not doesn’t matter. There is factor agreeing with his explanation and there are ones that goes agaisnt it.

Those vouching for him: it is true that trucks drive by often these days since the library really did catch on fire recently. It was an unfortunate accident casued(according to the police) by some teenagers. They played around with a lighter and things escalated beyond their control. The saddest part is that I can’t go to the library anymore, I suppose I’ll have to find new hobbies to entertain myself until the library is rebuilt and restocked with books. Another thing is that I do like animals and it definitively wouldn’t be fun to see a run-over one in real life. My husband is very caring and wouldn’t expose me to something he knows I hate, therefore it makes sense for him to bury them in secret. Besides, his job is demanding and he actually wouldn’t be able to do so in the day.

All of this form one solution that is: burying the dead animals in secret from his wife(me) during nighttime as to not disturb me or his work hours. (If we look away from the fact I wake when he does)

Factors indicating he’s lying: how come I have never found a roadkill if they are so common nowadays? It’s unusual for him to come home before me, and if he’s that busy with work, it wouldn’t make sense for him to find all of them before I’ve even caught a whiff of something foul nearby. You see what I mean? Secondly, there is not reason why he should be the one doing all this work. Surely there are professionals dealing with here things? In that case then he should call them instead and tell those truck-drivers to be more careful.

Ultimately this is very suspicious, but what else can I do? Statistically, there is a high chance(I believe?) that your husband will have at least one weird hobby. I will have to live with that and I have said to him ‘I love you more than anything and if this is something you wish to do then o won’t question you.’

He was almost in tears, it was adorable. He said, ‘Yes, my love, thank you. I also love you more than anything in this world and I would be damned if something came between us.’

Afterwards I lectured him on not bringing in dirt in the house again, though. This was his answer: of course not, my darling!

To summarise this incident: my husband still visits the outdoors at night, however not as often as before. I warned him, too, of being careful because a bunch of men have been going missing lately and I’d be devastated if his name came up on of of those reports. I shouldn’t say this- but I will- I’m kind of happy those men are gone. I recognised their names and/or faces from the papers, you see. It turns out that all of them were ones I’d met previously. I won’t bore you with the details, but they weren’t pleasant encounters.

Everyday I have checked the floor for dirt and have found none. This is very good news for my ‘cleaning-spirit’. Whenever I feel Arlo leaving the bed I have decided to relax my mind and go back to sleep again. Then, if I’m still half-awake, I will feel him laying down beside me once more and together we drift off to dreamland.

The lesson I learned from this is that you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything about your partner, and they are allowed to have their special hobbies. There is a difference if you’re being harmed in the process, though. If that’s the case then you should immediately speak up about it and you compromise. Remember, communication is key!

———

Written by: (Y/n) (L/n)

[candaceparkers]

candaceparker: 🎶Dear Summer

“I know you gon miss me…” 🎶

I’m retiring.

I promised I’d never cheat the game & that I’d leave it in a better place than I came into it. The competitor in me always wants 1 more, but it’s time. My HEART & body knew, but I needed to give my mind time to accept it.

I always wanted to walk off the court with no parade or tour, just privately with the ones I love. What now was to be my last game, I walked off the court with my daughter. I ended the journey just as I started it, with her.

This offseason hasn’t been fun on a foot that isn’t cooperating. It’s no fun playing in pain (10 surgeries in my career) it’s no fun knowing what you could do, if only…it’s no fun hearing “she isn’t the same” when I know why, it’s no fun accepting the fact you need surgery AGAIN.

I fell in love with a little orange ball at 13 years old and BECAUSE of it my world goes ‘round. The highs are unmatched & the lows taught me lessons. On & off the court I’m proud I’ve always been true & stayed true to ME, even when it wasn’t popular.

I’m grateful that for 16 years I PLAYED A GAME for a living & DESPITE all the injuries, I hooped. I’m grateful for family, friends, teammates, coaches, doctors, trainers & fans who made this journey so special.

In the mean time, know IM A BUSINESS, man, not a businessman. This is the beginning…I’m attacking business, private equity, ownership (I will own both a NBA & WNBA team), broadcasting, production, boardrooms, beach volleyball, dominoes (sorry babe it’s going to get more real) with the same intensity & focus I did basketball.

My mission in life, like Pat Summitt always said, is to “chase people and passions and you will never fail.” Being a wife & mom still remains priority #1 & I’ve learned that time flies, so I plan to enjoy my family to the fullest!

Today’s players: ENJOY IT.

No matter how you prepare for it, you won’t be ready for the gap it leaves in your soul. Forgive me as I mourn a bit, but I’ll be back loving the game differently in a while.

🎶 ”I’m done for now so one for now

Possibly forever, we had fun together

But like all good things, we must come to an end

Please show the same love to my friends, dear Summer” 🎶

[aeneaans]

never real enough

synopsis: neuvillette is in love—he wishes he wasn’t.

word count: 758

c/w: angst, no comfort

a/n: i wrote this in like. maybe an hour and did not edit it at all please bear with me

He had always known there was a great divide between the life of a human and a life like his—a dragon. His days seemed to be endless, yet, one of a human’s was so short lived. Was it pity that he felt? No, humans still managed to make the most of their short life. So what was this feeling that resides in his chest now?

It was almost suffocating, the thought consumed him for days, weeks, even. The concept of love, a novel idea made by humans—or so he thought. It was until he met you, which seemed like yesterday. It’s been a few years since the two of you met. It didn’t seem like a long time until she mentioned it almost a month ago.

“That’s right…a month. It’s been a month since my Lady Furina—” He immediately cut himself off before he could finish his own thought. These frivolous thoughts have been plaguing his mind for no good reason, he thinks.

He clenched his fist, unable to focus on the documents that lie neatly across his desk. You haven’t visited in a while. Though, nobody in their right mind would. It’s been pouring for the past two weeks, which is usually no surprise for most citizens of Fontaine, but this was different.

Archons above, this wasn’t just rain. It was practically a flood, to put it lightly. The trees were blown by harsh winds, the few functioning Aquabuses left delayed. There wasn’t a single soul in sight if one were to look out the window, if you could even see anything beyond the heavy rain.

It didn’t hit him until recently, but give him some time. He’s not good at these things. Love: a distant, alien concept to the unmovable, unbiased Iudex of Fontaine. And yet, there could be no other possible explanation for this—this feeling. He thought he was ill at first, yes, illness was the only possible answer. He went to every doctor in Fontaine and, no, not a single proper explanation. So he turned to his last resort—Furina.

“Dear Chief Justice, you can’t possibly be serious.” Is what she had said to him. “You’re in love!” And as stupid it sounded to him, it was the only logical explanation. His cheeks flushed when he saw you, his heart beating at abnormal rates whenever you say something cheesy to him…Yes, it was love.

Typically, humans would be flustered. They were in love? It isn’t to say that he wasn’t flustered at first, but then reality hit him. You’re a human. He’s…not.

It simply wasn’t meant to be. Humans are fragile—their lifeline only a tiny fraction of his. Even if you were to return his silly feelings, what then? What would come of a relationship? He doesn’t understand how he could possibly be a good lover, nor could he ever even be loveable at the least. What would become of him once you leave this world? The mere thought of you dying—leaving him—scares him. He lowers his head, gripping his pen harder, staring at the puddle of ink he left on the page.

“That’s right, there’s no use pondering this matter… I’m thinking ahead of myself.” Is what he thought.

Every single day, he reassured himself. If he was the only one that was affected because of his unrequited feelings, then that’s fine by him. He could bear it. So why does he still feel this crushing feeling on his soul—his very being? After all, there’s no chance you could even begin to love someone like him. Someone as awkward, unfeeling as him? There’s no possible way.

He couldn’t even begin to imagine how someone like you could ever—!

No, forget it. Self-deprecating thoughts aren’t any good for him.

“Don’t always think so low of yourself, yeah? It doesn’t do any good.” That’s something you told him. Something you told him.

***

Something you told him. Yet another month had passed, this time, things were drastically different.

Why did you have to make things so hard for him? You could have just kept it to yourself, like he had. So why? Why did you tell him how you felt?

It poured harder than ever before when he saw the look of complete and utter disappointment on your face when he said the words he did. He didn’t think he’d ever feel such despair, but he did.

“It’s okay.” You smiled, pursing your lips.

No, it wasn’t okay. How could any of this ever be okay? He didn’t understand anything, nothing at all.

After all, Neuvillette is far from being ‘human.’

[starry-inks-skies]

Two Cannibals go to a café ( Alastor x GN Reader Platonic )

—————————————

Some things I wanted to say. First I want to get some feedback on this. Second it’s in second pov so there’s so many yous. Tell me what you think about this one-shot!

—————————————

You sat down in your normal spot in the center point of cannibal town. Every Monday you wait at that bench, waiting for the one and only Alastor, the radio demon. Unfortunately for you for seven years, Alastor hasn’t shown up. Many of the citizen of cannibal town took pity on you, thinking Alastor abandon you or your dear friend had died. You still had hope that he would show up. You owe it to him. He helped put your business on the map, only took a little deal, not for your soul, but for some of the meat you sell. You look down at your hands on your lap. You were more of a monster than a demon. Some closer to you call you the lover of Frankenstein, knowing the book well you always remind everyone that it would be the lover of Frankenstein’s monster and not the doctor himself. Now wondering if all of this was a fruitless endeavor, you heard clink-clink-clink, you now associate with Alastor’s hooves. Looking up, you were met with the one and only Alastor. Smiling wide, you ran up to the deer man and gave him a hug, almost toppling the both of you. He hugs back and laughs and says with his signature smile, “It’s good to see you again (y/n). Say how about we go to a café together, me and you?”

You nod your head and the two of you went off to Alastor’ favorite café. As the two walked through cannibal town, you talked about the business and how your life is going. Alastor, open the door for you. You enter the café and wave to the owner, Alastor, entered after you and gave the owner a curt nod. You walked up to the owner and ordered your usual, Alastor looked at the menu in shock at how much it changed over the last seven years. Alastor thought for a moment before getting what you got. “Ok then, that would be out in a few minutes.” Said the owner, who walked away to make the drinks and food. You and Alastor sat down with the radio demon, looking confused. Before Alastor could ask, you answered him. “Oh right, I didn’t get the chance to say it, but I landed a deal with the shop and now I’m the only food provider at this café. I got free food because of the deal. All thanks to you.” Alastor chuckles and says with happiness, “I’m glad it worked out for you. No need to thank me though I saw your potential in you, and you cut the meats are perfect.” You blush at Alastor’s prizes, rarely have you given been giving it. “Well, we have been trying methods if you like to see them.” The owner of the small café place down yours and Alastor’s drinks and food. You sip on your blood tea with a finger and eyeball as Alastor shakes his head no and with a mellow tone says, “I would love, but I’m currently help the princess of hell with a hotel.” You till your head, Alastor having your full attention. “The princess of hell? Charlie Morningstar? What the hell are you doing in a hotel? Is that where you been in the past seven years?” You asked wanting to know more, Alastor answered all your questions. “She is trying to rehabilitate sinners. You know she reminds me of you when we first met years ago. Maybe you should come by one time.” You look down at the floor unsure what to say. First, he didn’t even answer why he’s gone, second the idea of rehabilitation sinners sounds next to impossible. You’re unsure what to say to your dear friend Alastor the radio demon.

—————————————

[absolutebl]

10 BLs That Are Not About Coming Out

Also... doesn’t really even have a coming out sequence. 

Ready? 

1. Kinky mafia dudes (KinnPorsche) 

2. Cinderfella crossdressing historical romance (Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding)

3. Grim reaper falls in love with a doctor (Dear Doctor I’m Coming For Your Soul) 

4. I’m not gonna explain, just watch Color Rush (Viki) 

5. Catfishing assassins on opposite sides of a turf war (Long Time No See Gaga) 

6. Time travel romance might be poly (Tinted With You Viki) 

7. Boys shack up with ghosts and each other (Ghost Host, Ghost House YouTube) 

8. Mafia + doctor team up to investigate MURDER, have lots of hot sex (Manner of Death) 

9. Gang of anarchists takes on corruption + identical twins (Not Me YouTube) 

10. Doctor vs time via seduction (Triage)

More but might not be quite BL or end happily: 

Smart boy in love with zombie incubus, keeps him alive with sex (Eternal Yesterday Gaga & Viki)

Man in poly relationship with reincarnated pets (Choco Milk Shake - YouTube)

Dystopian gay Dexter meets Judge Dread (Devil Judge Viki) 

Polycule murders bad guy goes on run from mafia assassins (3 Will Be Free YouTube)

Bodyswap goes on a road trip (Cupid’s Last Wish YouTube)

Bodyswap goes to boarding school (Great Men Academy)

Boys ARE ghosts, still kissing (Peach of Time Viki & Something In My Room YouTube) 

Very little Korean BL (because it exists in that alt-reality bubble) has coming out sequences. Most Thai BL, because it is set in high school and college and around friends/family does contain it. Here’s my:

BEST Coming Out Sequences in BL 

(source)

[25shadesoffebruary]

[thedreamwraptwriter]

Companions Don't Take Sick Days!

Tenth Doctor x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1046

Warnings: none.

Note: [Y/N] = Your Name

A soft humming awoke me from my deep sleep – the comforting sound of the Tardis was a daily occurrence for me now and I couldn’t help but want to snuggle back into bed. The past few days had been hectic; the Doctor had whisked me all around the universe, bouncing between times, and saving worlds. I loved being by his side but sometimes it felt as though he had endless amounts of energy and I, being human, felt as though I’d missed out on a few (hundred) cups of caffeine with the way I was feeling. 

“Ergh,” I grumbled aloud, pushing myself groggily out of the warm comforter. The room I stayed in was lit by a soft, warm glow, pulsing along the walls. Squinting, I stumbled toward the door, eyes still adjusting to the lack of light around me. With a push, I opened the door of my room and poked my head out into the main control area. The Doctor was sitting by the console, staring intensely at it with a furrowed brow. His eyes darted back and forth, as though reading something at high speed, and I noticed his leg bouncing with energy. Whatever was making him look like that I wasn’t ready to face and quickly began to withdraw back into my ro-

“Y/N!” 

I groaned. Caught.

“Yes Doctor?” I said, voice scratchier than I expected.

He came bounding over to me, trench coat swishing behind him like a majestic bat.

“Dear me, you look terrible,” he said, gently grabbing my face with his hands and looking me over. “You feeling alright?”

I batted his hands away, embarrassed. “We’ve been going nonstop, I think I’m allowed to look a little worse for wear,” I shot back, crossing my arms. “Besides, I’m up now. What’s on the roster for today?”

The Doctor looked at me sternly, his brown eyes drilling into my soul. I hated it when he looked at me like this – it felt as though he could read my mind.

“I can,” he said cheekily, and I felt my entire body heat. “Just kidding – I think I the psychic link bracelets effects are finally wearing off.” 

He raised his arm up and jingled the small silver bracelet on his wrist. I groaned, feeling the matching bracelet heavy on my arm. I’d forgotten about those. Alien tech really was something. They’d proven useful in our last adventure, but I was so tired I’d forgotten to remove mine. I hurriedly pulled mine off just in case it broadcasted anything else out to him.

“However, I do not need one of those to see that you are obviously looking really terrible,” said the Doctor, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you go back and lay down?”

I shook his hand off my shoulder, ignoring the pulsing in the back of my head. “Now Doctor, I don’t think that will be necessary. I saw you looking – peeved, at the console so why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

The Doctor crossed his arms, looked over his shoulder at the control room, and back at me. 

“No.”

I blinked. “Sorry, what?” 

He sighed. “You are not doing anything today. You are taking a sick day.”

“Companions don’t take sick days!” I exclaimed. “This is ridiculous. I’m not even sick.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. Whipping out his sonic screwdriver, he rapidly scanned me.

“Elevated temperature, increased mucous secretions, and a high white blood cell count. Pardon me, Y/N, but I think that would indicate that you are, in fact, ill,” he said, smiling triumphantly. “I’m putting you back to bed.”

Before I could argue, the Doctor scooped me up his arms and strode back into my room. My heart rate spiked and the dizziness I was feeling earlier increased tenfold. What a cunning man. 

“That’s better, isn’t it,” the Doctor said cheerfully as he fluffed my pillows and tucked me tightly into bed. “The color is coming back to your cheeks already.”

I turned away from him – the flush in my cheeks was due to something else. 

“I suppose,” I mumbled. “But Doctor, what if you need help?”

The Doctor grinned. “I do have other friends in the Universe, you know. Lots of people owe me a favor or two. Though, I have to admit, you are my favorite.” 

He winked at me. “Now then, what else can I do to help you feel better? Ah yes.”

With a flurry, he ran out of my room. I heard dishes clanging, the Tardis beeping, and some other odd noises echoing about before he came striding back in, balancing a tray of food in one hand and a cold compress in the other. 

“There we are,” he said, carefully placing the tray on my lap and laying the cold compress on my forehead. As much as I wanted to hate his fussing, I found it to be extremely charming (and the cold compress felt quite nice).

I stared at the tray of soup and bread with some confusion. “You were only gone for a few minutes; where did you get this? I know you can’t cook.”

The Doctor chuckled. “I did a quick stop by your hometown – I know what you like! Give me some credit, Y/N.” 

I smiled. The Doctor was incredibly thoughtful and he listened more than I thought he did. “I’m being spoiled today, it seems,” I said.

He grinned. “Right then - open up now, Y/N!” he said, picking up some soup and holding the spoon towards me expectantly.

Immediately, my entire body burned with embarrassment. “W-wait a second I can feed myself!”

I went to grab the spoon, but the Doctor smoothly grabbed my wrist and laid it back down on the sheets. His warm hand enveloped mine and it felt as though time and space stood still. 

“Y/N, please let me take care of you,” he said softly. I looked into his soft brown eyes, my pulse fluttering. We were so close we could have-

“Yes, sorry,” I murmured, tearing my eyes away from his and allowed the Doctor to care for me. He was so gentle, his touch left fire on my skin, but I did my best to ignore it. He was the loneliest man in the universe, and he wanted to keep it that way…but some days, it seemed to me, he’d rather be anything else. 

___

Author’s Note: I’m sick as a dog right now and was watching some Doctor Who to pass the time – decided I might as well write a classic sickfic with some nice fluff. Somehow, though, I managed to make it sad at the very end. Sorry : D

[iamdarthbader]

Oh my god he gave him the two of hearts

[mystic-ang3l]

I love bg3 and stardew! I'd love to hear/read your interpretation of some of the characters meeting eachother! (Ex: Harvey and Gale, will and Elliot, karlach and Abigail)

thank you for the request :p i LOVE this idea

these are just little blurbs of the characters meeting each other and how that would go. i chose the pairings the way i did bc i felt like they made the most sense... if you want more let me know, enjoy!!

When Harvey and Halsin met..

Harvey was initially intimidated by Halsin.

Was confused by this large mass of a man entering his clinic.

They introduced and conversated with one another, seemingly getting along.

“So you’re a doctor? How interesting… I am also a healer of sorts. As a Druid, I was gifted my powers from Silvanus, as I now protect and care for his creations, whether that be animals in the forest, or fellow companions.”

Harvey kind of stares at him for a second.

As Halsin talks about his god-given power and healing abilities, Harvey can’t help but get a bit jealous.

Why was he gifted such healing powers? He didn't have to go to medical school for years, and take all of the god forsaken exams. 

“Yeah, well I went to medical school for many years. I had to learn how to help people, and I believe in the ability to use modern medicine to help my patients. I’m not too sure about your powers, but I believe that my method of healing works as well.”

Harvey spoke more passive aggressive than he liked, realizing that his jealousy was obvious.

“Pardon me… I tend to get a bit worked up when it comes to my profession. Your gift is amazing, I wish it had been that easy for me.”

Halsin registers that maybe he was gloating too much.

The last thing he wanted to do was offend anyone, especially not someone he just met, that was similar to him.

“I apologize dearly for my accidental gloating… I had no intention of discrediting your profession. I think the way that you’re able to heal people is nothing short of astounding. I know that it’s a privilege to help others and that feeling is… unlike any other.”

Harvey lets out a sigh of understanding and feels a bit better after their miscommunication is resolved.

As no patients entered the clinic, they continued to talk amongst themselves about medicine and healing, something they both are knowledgeable of.

Once it was 3:00 P.M. and the clinic was closed, they both said their farewells.

“I’ll return again in the near future. Farewell, Harvey.”

Harvey returns the goodbye, smiling as he thinks about the return of his new healer of a friend.

When Haley and Astarion met...

Astarion was walking through the small town of Stardew, observing the area.

He walks up to a wooden board with several different flyers posted.

Some are looking for certain foods, others looking for minerals and such.

But, there was one flyer that caught his eye. It was very colorful, and definitely pink.

“IN NEED OF SOMEONE TO GIVE A MAKEOVER!! I NEED EXPERIENCE FOR MY COSMETOLOGY LICENSE. SRS INQUIRIES ONLY!”

Astarion was a bit… intrigued by this.

Why? He would never let some girl use him for makeup… right?

As he’s deep in thought, a high-pitched voice from behind him made him jump a bit.

He turns around to see a short, teenage blonde girl. She had a huge smile plastered on her face, he was kind of scared.

“Hey mister, I saw you looking at my flyer! Are you interested?”

Astarion scoffs at her.

“Absolutely not.”

Haley looks a bit defeated, but something tells her she can convince him.

“Come on! I saw you looking at it for, like, 5 minutes! It won’t take long, I just need to do one makeover for my class and I can get my license. Pretty please?”

Astarion looks at her, raising his eyebrow. He never thought he’d be in a predicament like this, and he also never thought he’d be looking forward to something like this… but he’d never admit it to a soul.

“As long as you don’t make me look like a clown, dear, I guess I can fulfill your request.”

Haley jumps up and down, squealing.

Without a chance to think, Haley grabs Astarion’s hand and drags him to her house.

She seats him at her vanity, as she sets up all kinds of things. Makeup, hair tools, everything you could think of.

Astarion looks at all of this, and raises his eyebrow.

“I thought you said this wouldn't take long?”

Haley looks at him, a playful smile on her face. 

“It wont be long! Maybe like, an hour or two…”

Astarion sighs as he realizes what he’s got himself into. Although, he’s a bit excited for what the result will be.

As Astarion gets more comfortable, he also begins to talk more.

Especially when Haley starts to gossip about her neighbors.

“Yeah, there’s a boy that lives in that house named Sam, I think he totally might have a thing for me. I see him looking at me through the window sometimes. Oh! And he has this friend named Sebastian, and he’s so emo, it’s kind of scary…”

Astarion listens to her gossip, being slightly amused by it. 

He even chimes in from time to time.

After what feels like forever, Haley is finished with the makeover.

Astarion looks in the mirror, a bit taken aback by how… good he looks?

Deep down, he loves it. He loves the way the makeup looks, and how she puffed his hair up.

“So… what do you think?”

Astarion looks at her, trying to hide his excitement.

“It’s okay, a bit chalky but it’s plenty adequate.”

Haley scoffs, as Astarion laughs. 

Afterwards, Haley makes them tea as they sit at the table, continuing to gossip about the whole town.

When Maru and Gale met...

Maru was excited when Gale showed up in her mom’s carpentry shop.

She looked at him from afar, noticing his purple robe. Was he an actual wizard? With actual powers?

As Gale is talking to Robin, Maru comes around the corner and walks up to him.

“Hi! I’m Maru, I’m her daughter”

Gale looks at her, shaking her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Maru. Your mother was just telling me about how much you like science.”

Maru looks at Robin, making a face as she hates the fact that she was talking about her.

“Yeah, my dad’s a scientist, so I’m really into that kind of stuff. Do you want to see our lab?”

Maru speaks excitedly, realizing maybe she’s too enthusiastic. She doesn’t want to scare the (maybe) wizard off. 

“Of course, lead me there!”

Maru leads him to the small lab, where there are many scientific posters and instruments.

As they talk, Maru can’t help but wonder if he’s actually a wizard.

The possibility is killing her, and she refrains until she can’t help but ask.

“Are you a wizard? Like one who can cast spells and turn people into frogs?”

Gale is a bit taken aback by her sudden question, but then laughs a bit at her enthusiasm.

“Well, yes… you can call me a wizard. I have the powers to cast spells and such… and it is possible for me to turn people into frogs, though I don’t usually have reason to.”

Maru’s face lights up as so many questions pop into her head. Could he maybe show her a spell, or even teach her? Maybe he can turn her into something…

“Can you turn me into a frog? Right now?”

Gale raises his eyebrow, a bit hesitant to answer.

“Technically, it is possible… but what if someone like your mother sees? I don’t want people to dislike me already, for potentially turning their daughter into a frog.”

Maru is a bit disappointed. She pleads to the wizard, hoping he would listen.

“Please please please! I promise I won’t tell a soul! I just want you to turn me into a frog, and then you can turn me back into a human after. It would be revolutionary!” 

Gale takes a quick look around the room, before he sighs and looks back at Maru.

“Fine… but very quickly. Do not tell a soul about this.”

Maru nods as she stands in front of Gale.

As he focuses on her, a green colored hue appears around him as reaches a hand out towards her.

The next thing he knows, there is a small frog on the floor.

He crouches down to the little frog.

“There, you are now a small little frog. Can I change you back now?”

Gale is answered with a croak.

He stands back up, and as he begins the spell to make Maru human again, Robin walks in.

“Have you seen Maru recently? I can’t find her.”

Gale looks at her, eyes widening as he tries to contain himself.

“N-no, I haven’t seen her.”

Robin nods her head, and looks around. She spots the frog on the ground.

She approaches it and picks it up.

“Well hello little frog… you must be one of the frogs that keeps escaping from Sebastian’s room… I’ll go put you back.”

Gale’s heart drops to his stomach. He decides he has to tell her that the frog is Maru.

“Wait! That isn’t a regular frog. That may or may not be… your daughter?”

He speaks, his voice slightly high-pitched as he prays she won’t scream at him.

Robin’s jaw drops, as she looks at him angrily.

It seems like Gale has a lot of explaining to do, and a spell to cast after Robin finishes scolding him.

[magiccath]

Doctor Who (Taylor's Version)

The Doctors (9-14) as Taylor Swift albums, songs, and lyrics

9: reputation

Dark and brooding on the surface, but really just a big softie. 9 looks like a meanie, but he’s actually one of the softest Doctors.

Simultaneously LWYMD, This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things, and End Game. 

“I’m sorry, the old Doctor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh! Cause he’s dead!” 

“For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities. I've made mistakes, and made some choices that's hard to deny” 

“Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy. I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

“And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for. King of my heart, body and soul”

10: Speak Now

Dreamly, love-struck, and fairy-tale like. 10 is a lover and romantic first and foremost. But also, he definitely gets breakup songs written about him…

Timeless, Electric Touch, Enchanted, Our Song, and Dear John

“And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other. In another life, you still would've turned my head” 

“All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life. Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life”

“I've been left in the rain lost and pining. I'm tryin' hard not to look like I'm trying ‘cause every time I tried hard for love, it fell apart”

“I was enchanted to meet you” 

11: Lover

Bright, bubbly, and happy. But oh wait! Anxiety! Crippling self doubt!

Cruel Summer, Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince, Paper Rings, False God, Afterglow.

“And I snuck in through the garden gate every night that summer just to seal my fate”

“He looks up grinning like a devil”

“It's you and me, that's my whole world”

“You play stupid games you win stupid prizes” 

“I lived like an island, punished you with silence”

“It’s all me in my head”

12: Midnights

Older, but not always wiser. We’ve learned a few life lessons and grown, but we’re still the same sad anxious ball we used to be.

Anti-hero, You’re on Your Own, Kid, Vigilante Sh*t, and Dear Reader

“I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser”

“I’m a monster on the hill. Too big to hang out, slowly lurching towards your favoratie city”

“It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me”

“I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this”

“Lately I've been dressing for revenge”

“If it feels like a trap, you're already in one”

“Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart” 

13: 1989

It’s time to have some fun with our friends and enjoy life! Except, we’re still sad? I

Know Places, Say Don’t Go, Wonderland, Clean, and Bad Blood

“I know places we can hide”

“I would stay forever if you say, "don't go" But you won't”

“You held on tight to me 'cause nothing's as it seems”

“When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe and by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean”

“You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go”

“Was it over then? And is it over now?”

14: folklore

Just a lonely little bean who has a lot of feelings. After numerous regenerations, the Doctor finally shows some emotional vulnerability!

The 1, cardigain, my tears ricochet, this is me trying, epiphany, and peace. 

“I had this dream you’re doing cool sh*t, having adventures on your own” 

“But we were something, don't you think so?”

“You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin'”

“Tried to change the ending…” 

“I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave”

“I just wanted you to know that this is me trying”

“Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”