#death by firey suicide

[brainyrot]

Hey. I like the way you write.

LMAOJDIS

Chaos everywhere, wood flying and breaking, bullets made of who knows what, ink and death.

it felt like a war was playing in front of him, which he couldn't tell if it was entertaining or scary, not scary because the scene was too much for him, but scary because he was in the middle of it.

he wanted to make a run for it, but didn't make it. Didn't work. Too many things happening right now.

Ink falling down from his forehead, stress.

He just needs to wait until things calm down a bit, or too many people die until it's enough and the massacre stops.

he's almost glad he's in the middle of this and witnessing it, as he can learn new things from the new guests and adapt.

the two dishes have a long reach weapon, yes, fingers but they shoot bullets and a variety of it.

Could break their hands all together.

The cat is mostly relying on the bag and physical fight, the bag gives him everything apparently. Tricky and just needs to see if that bag can even be damaged.

the girl uses some kind of spells. She is fragile so she hopes those small and quick spells she can do without messing up are enough,

Meaning she is the easiest one.

on the other hand we have what used to be people dragging themselves around, hungry. Mad. In both senses.

And he's still stuck like this.

But after what felt like an eternity the fire stops, the screams and moans of pain stop, the ink slowly melting and dripping from whatever surface it's on.

blood is mixed with ink, minor injuries, maybe some are more severe.

The guests are covered in ink, some were close to be consumed by it completely.

They work the same as the rest. They are all victims of the same rules. they are just smarter and sane enough to actually try and survive instead of throwing yourself into some suicidal mission and wait to come back, again, and die, again, and come back, over and over, losing yourself the more it happens.

Sammy on the floor, obviously alive, just not able to fight anymore. that guy is hard to beat, he can tell you by experience. Some firey bullets won't do much.

Hopefully won't start a fire, they already have enough problems as it is.

a cough, multiple coughs. A whole coughing fit that sounded like someone just got out from the dark puddles, they all do it anyway, they all need to breathe still apparently.

Or it just sounds like someone whose lungs are merely an accessory instead of functional now.

the second one fits better.

"You okay, bro?" the one with the scarf as long as Alice angel's hair, even more, asks. Placing a hand behind the other's back and rubbing it.

"I-im good. I'm good." and a few curses.

What a nitwit. you're not fine. Why does he keep lying about that? Does he think he's cool or a hero if he does that?

What a joke.

"Where's bendy?" here, but he doesn't wanna be.

"Under a table, he's fine.." taking a few breaths in, glancing at the demon..kind of suspiciously but it was just a glance, the feeling went away almost immediately.

"Who even were they?" She asked. Tired. She didn't even move, why is she tired? All the work was from the rest of the group and her silly spells.

"I don't know, tree princess. Some weirdos."

"covered in ink.."

"Some didn't even look like a person though! They.. it's like they were made of ink!" they say the truth, yet they keep denying it once they say the rest of the words.

"Yeah. this place is dangerous. We need to go." a joy in this torment of a studio?

"But boris-"

"SCREW BORIS! We can't even save him anymore! He's cussing dead! I saw him cut open earlier! There's no one else to save! There's nothing to save him! So let's just get bendy out from under the table and go!" the tallest cup shouted. Ouch. and he snapped as well.

Amusing at best, but honestly, he doesn't care.

"..what?"

"Bori- you...you knew? You knew?! You knew Boris was here- and- and you didn't say anything until now?! You- y- Boris is dead and- and-"

"I couldn't do anything about it! he was already like this when I found him!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! Boris is-you could've-! I-" Tears and a mix of emotions that can't be fully described.

Tears from a girl, ugly crying without any shame. She doesn't have time for that, as she's busy crying over a stranger with the face of someone she knew.

silence, grieving silence.

"...bendy, look. I-..I wanted to tell you, but-" finally, the one who broke this news to everyone spoke, voice so soft and empathetic it was weird seeing him talk like that.

but he wasn't talking to no one anyway, there was no one there.

"...bendy?"

[beevean]

"NFCV's portrayal of Dracula is a masterpiece, it finally gave depth to the character! His sorrow is sympathetic, he's not just an evil guy for evil guy's sake! He's deep, nuanced!"

Is he? Is he, though?

The more I think about Dracula (the games one obv), the more it angers me how the show treated him. In its best seasons, to boot.

Because yes, they certainly put a lot of focus on his grief, and took care to humanize him. And that's the issue.

The idea, on paper, is wonderful. Dracula is a monster moved by human emotions. He's a danger to the entirety of mankind, God's direct enemy, but at his core, he's a man bereft for the loss of his wives.

The very first episode nailed it! He makes an utterly terrifying entrance in Targoviste, as a pillar of fire threatening the people to move out in a year lest they face his wrath. They don't believe him. He keeps his word. He does not hold back.

And he caps it off with this chilling, yet tragic speech:

Kill everything you see. Kill them all. And once Targoviste has been made into a graveyard for my love, go forth into the country. Go now. Go to all the cities of Wallachia: Arges! Severin! Gresit! Chilia! Enisara! Go now and kill. Kill for my love! Kill for the only true love I ever knew. Kill for the endless lifetime of hate before me.

This is Dracula. This is the Devil himself who is absolutely destroyed by the loss of his love, knows that he will never be able to move on, and by all the forces of Hell, he will make everyone feel his misery.

Season 2, by all means, should have capitalized on this. Imagine the great contrast it would be: one scene shows Dracula, in his firey form, sending his forces, the Night Creatures that he forced Hector and Isaac to make all night, to raze an entire village to ashes... and the next, he retreats to his quarters to slump in his chair, speaking in a soft and broken voice, and suddenly, he is a man again. It would show his duality so well.

But the show simply forgot the first part.

The entirety of the plot in S2 is that Dracula has stopped being a villain. This is the crux of the conflict! Dracula spends his entire time moping in his chair, and he's so Depressed™ that he literally loses control of his forces... which allows Carmilla to more or less replace him.

There you have it: Dracula's entire arc in S2.

Dracula gets nothing but "humanizing" moments. He speaks civilly to Carmilla after she makes a fool out of him. He commiserates to Isaac about how no one is his friend anymore, taking care to sit by his side like they're buddies. He doesn't care about anything anymore, thus allowing Carmilla to run amok and play Hector and Isaac like recorders (I would say "like a fiddle" but that would imply talent). His plan gets described, multiple times, including by his own son, as nothing more than a suicide mission that will accidentally take down everyone with him. Most importantly, Dracula is painted as being simply a shortsighted fool, who lied to Hector to hire him and then he's surprised that he's distancing himself, who never thought ahead when it cames to blood perserves, who really, why didn't he just turn Lisa into a vampire, is he stupid?

(he's literally doing a :( face. i cannot make this shit up)

Once again: his death scene, which is at its core him being taken down by his own emotions, is brilliant in a vacuum. But in context, it breaks down spectacularly: Dracula has done nothing but feel sorry for himself for 7 episodes now. Where is the guy who made guts and man-eating demons fall from the sky? This is such a blatant attempt to defang (hehe) an iconic antagonist for the sake of 1) propping up an OC, and 2) because we are such good writers and we will fix the shallow games by giving Humanity to our antagonists, to the point where they're not even So Bad After All! (also 3) because woobiefying the dilf will make our horny fans happy)

But like. You can show Dracula's humanity without painting him as such a sad meow meow.

It is said that there was a deplorable incident. Those who did it, those who saw it, those who didn't stop it, the one who created the world, all are equally guilty.

The pain of loss  Distorted overflowing resentment Unquenchable sorrow  The claws of a trembling fist pierce the palm  Becoming a bloody hammer of violence

Gaining what was lost A power as big as sadness A person who rebels against the creator of an existence that will never be lost

One page has the narration describing Dracula's "unquenchable sorrow" that turns his fist into a "bloody hammer of violence"...

"Please, I beg of you, I’m human too!"

"My nourishment is human life and mistakes. I will disappear when humans perish…"

And the next one will have Dracula severely punish his General for daring to question him in his cruel plan for revenge.

And he'll still show some vulnerability to Isaac, but apparently he was okay with him killing Hector and bringing his head back.

And then there's the ending of SoTN, where Dracula finally asks Lisa forgiveness, but not after nearly killing his son and even swearing to wipe away his "vulgar blood" in Japanese. And then there are the implications, most obvious in Grimoire of Souls, that even Dracula has grown tired of being forced to come back over and over, but shows no sign of remorse.

[...]

It may not be shown in depth as NFCV does, but even if more is left to imagination, the games do a much better job at walking the line between "Dracula is the Devil incarnate, a spiteful monster who only desires death and destruction" and "Dracula is the former shell of a man who was broken by grief and cannot let go of his pain".

So yeah. I'm not impressed by the show trying too hard to make me cry for its ineffective, pathetic, pitiful version of Dracula.

[amugoffandoms]

Yknow, I like how all the prisoners connect with the prisoner after them, some better than others. The pairings would be:

Yuno - Fuuta

Muu - Shidou

Mahiru - Kazui

Amane - Mikoto

Kotoko - Haruka

Yuno and Fuuta both have something to do with temperature, Fuuta with being firey and whatnot and Yuno being cold

Muu and Shidou both have a thing with harming/helping someone and suicidal thoughts. (Muu in After Pain and Shidou asking for the death penalty) Muu tries to help herself, but harms Rei. Shidou tries to help his wife and "kills" many in the process.

Mahiru and Kazui's similarity is love! (And possibly cheating, no idea yet, but those two seem to have some weird thing with cheating) Mahiru seems to give too much love and Kazui does not give enough(? That's what i believe, at least)

Amane and Mikoto are sort of hard to describe, but I think I had to connect them in the MEGAMIX Teddyloid post (which you can check out here!). So, I'll just say it's belief and disbelief. Amane believes very strongly in her beliefs while Mikoto didn't originally believe and understand why he was in MILGRAM. I think we'll be able to learn more when their songs and voice dramas drop!

Kotoko and Haruka have the idea of weakness. Kotoko wants to protect the weak. Haruka attacks anything that's weaker than him to get attention and wants to be seen as someone who isn't weak, even though many see that as such.

[some-pers0n]

YOU WATCHED GODZILLA MINUS ONE LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

shaking you to talk about it

I need to just..sit and think for a minute. Give me a second..

Okay on my laptop. Now I can think. Spoilers for the movie of course (PLEASE WATCH IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE)

So the movie is about a war vet, Koichi Shikishima. Shikishima was originally supposed to be a kamikaze jet fighter, but had fled his position last minute by lying about having a malfunction so he could live another day. He was afraid. He loved his family and his life. He wanted to live.

That is the main framing of the movie and the thing I kept coming back to. Shikishima felt nothing but guilt for everything he had done. The movie is more namely about WWII and its effects on Japan. On its people, both physically and mentally. Shikishima was meant to die. He was conscripted, trained, and prepared specifically to go into battle and die serving his country. This came at the end of the war however, when it became abundantly clear that a US invasion was coming. Shikishima did not want to die. He held value with his life. He saw the pointlessness of dying for a crumbling empire and lied.

Godzilla in this is a manifestation of war to me. It represents the might of the atomic bomb obviously, but also the sheer destruction and chaos of it all. It represents oblivion and the firey death that comes with war. It represents trauma. It represents Shikishima's trauma. It is why Shikishima's war still rages on. That thing is still around.

Shikishima blames himself for the event at Odo Island. He sees it as the final nail in the coffin for why he shouldn't exist anymore. He was scared. Like when he ran from his duties, he too could not fire at Godzilla as it attacked innocent people who had families to go home to. Over two dozen good men died that night because Shikishima could not act. Because of Godzilla.

Godzilla is that trauma to me. Shikishima thinks himself as a man who, by all accounts, should be dead. Why was I spared? he thinks. He believes himself as a coward. It's hammered home once he returns and sees his neighbourhood turned to rubble and dying fires. His neighbour, Sumiko, berates him for his inability to fulfill his role, blaming him for the massacre that took place. She repeats back the thoughts he already held: he is a coward. He should not be alive. What more does he have to live for? His family is dead. His inaction killed several people. He is a traitor to his country.

Suicide ideation and an inability to see a point in going on was such a noticeable part of Shikishima's character to me. His trauma and PTSD haunted him for years. He felt so much shame and guilt for what happened on that island.

Yet...he finds a reason to keep going, even if he doesn't realize just how much it means. A girl taking care of a child that is not her own, orphaned by the bomb raids, falls into his care. Soon enough, he makes a life around this girl, Noriko, and the child, Akiko. He gets odd jobs for them. He brings home money and, eventually, secures a nice government job.

I know I'm recapping thus far but also like...holy shit I gotta just lay it out. The movie just is so dense with stuff. Everything connects back to the central themes of trauma, war, and hope in the face of destruction. Everything relating to Shikishima feels so real in the sense that, for a moment, everything seems okay. It's alright. He meets and befriends his crew of people (including Dr. Noda!!! my favourite character, surprising absolutely nobody!) and it looks like things are looking up.

But it resurfaces. This beast. Awakened by the continuing nuclear bomb tests by the US. It shifts and changes, growing stronger. It is fueled by the weapons that were used to destroy and kill. It is war manifest. It is Gojira.

The boat scene was probably my favourite part in the whole movie. Seeing the main cast all work together so hard to try and outrun and wade off this unstoppable force. The CGI is also just wonderful. I still adore how it tries to emulate the flaws of practical effects in this scene in particular. The looming fear of Godzilla as it rapidly approaches them is just...so good. Then, it caps off with a sliver of hope in the form of a battleship from Singapore coming to save them, only for Godzilla to instantly body it via its atomic breath.

It resurfaces and brings back memories of that awful night. Nightmares have haunted Shikishima ever since, but they're only strengthened with Godzilla had returned. He has panic attacks. The once stoic and distant Shikishima crumbles and sobs, panicking and considering more abstract ideas. He does not see himself as alive. He's convinced he died. That none of this is real. That he isn't happy. He isn't alive. He is nothing more than a dead man who, despite anything, lives on for no real purpose.

It further hammers into him that there's no real reason to keep going like that when Noriko is swept away by the blast when Godzilla attacks Tokyo. That scene with him watching as Godzilla marvels in its destruction, screaming and yelling over the death of the person he loves. Death, trauma, war. It towers over him, shrouded in a cloud of ash and smoke and glowing a radioactive blue.

He agrees to Dr. Noda's plan to stop Godzilla, but mainly as a way for him to finally do what he always thought he was meant to do. Akiko, what is virtually his daughter in the eyes of everyone but himself, constantly broke my heart man. She loves him. She calls him daddy. She calls Noriko mommy. They're family. They're something for him to live for.

The night before Shikishima leaves to go and fulfill the role of a kamikaze, taking Godzilla down with himself, Akiko draws him a picture of their family. She cries. She wants her mother back. Why isn't she back? Where is she? Why can't daddy bring her back? It's not fair.

That scene just...hurt me so much. I can't describe it honestly. A lot of scenes with Shikishima grieving and processing his trauma cut deep, but seeing Akiko cry and Shikishima, a man who will be all but alive the next day, try and console her while still thinking about how he's gonna die... Jesus fuck man. The movie is evil.

The climax is fun, yet incredibly tense. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. I knew that they would all be fine in the end and that Shikishima obviously must have had an eject seat installed, but I couldn't help but be engrossed into it. I think what mainly got me was seeing the citizens work together. It was emblematic of what I think is the overall message of the movie: hope. Hope to keep living. You cannot take on trauma by yourself and need a whole slew of people to support you.

Shikishima, in that fighter plane that was meant to a battle that never was, soars into the mouth of Godzilla mere seconds before it fires upon the ships. Right before the ship reaches, he pulls the eject button and survives. He...found his reason to keep going. Even if Noriko is gone, he wants to live. Even if the trauma may not fully be defeated, he wants to live. He needs to live, not just for Akiko, but for his friends. For himself. To let it known that Godzilla itself cannot take him down. He will persist in the face of oblivion manifest.

It's such an amazing movie okay? I'm just left in absolute awe at it. This and Shin Godzilla are so great. I loved Shin's portrayal of the incapability of the Japanese government in the face of disaster, namely taking inspiration from the ever-evolving disaster of the earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear meltdown. Minus One however shows the toll of trauma and war on the population. It effects the people. While Shin Godzilla is a satire of the government, Minus One Godzilla shows the horrors of being an ordinary person during it all.

Minus One Godzilla is horrifying. Every time it pops up I feel nothing but dread. I read somewhere that it's one of the smaller Godzilla designs, but honestly I don't think that took away from it whatsoever. Its staying presence is so strong that I can't honestly see it as being weak or tiny for it.

The movie's constant themes and message of moving past trauma and living in spite of everything is just so powerful too. There is so much good in life. You cannot let war and hopelessness consume you. You need to keep moving forward. The final confrontation of Godzilla is emblematic of it all. It's so good man. I love this movie so so so very much...

[buckevantommy]

totally completely fine

ok. i'm not a fan of australian tv or movies bc they're always overdramatised or too darkly themed or comedic in a way i don't gel with bc i'd rather watch american comedies (not sitcoms, they need to die a firey death). plus i've never really liked the aussie accent, i've found it weirdly unsettling hearing characters speak with aussie voices and maybe that's bc being an aussie myself and wanting to use tv and movies as an escape so having that stark reminder of my own reality means it's harder to suspend and enjoy a different one for a spell. or maybe it's the fact that i, like a great deal of non-americans, have grown up watching american tv so now any non-american accent just sits weird in my brain. 

but that's why i need to express my love for this show. 

everything from the casting (diverse faces and bodies) and the actors chemistry to the setting and set design, cinematography and soundtrack, and of course the plot and characters themselves. It's so well done. It's a heartfelt dramedy that makes you care keeps you interested in wanting to know how things progress and ultimately turn out. the various relationship dynamics are full of ups and downs and it feels real in that messy way life is. 

the premise: vivian is a young mess of an adult who lost her parents in a car crash that she was also in when she was a kid. she's the youngest of 3 siblings who were raised by their grandfather who dies and leaves viv his cliffside beach house. the twist: the house backs onto a picturesque ocean cliff where people go to commit suicide. the grandfather used to try and stop them, and now it's up to viv to try and do the same. 

intense stuff so far. but this show is hopeful, it's not super dark even though it does deal with strained relationships and mental health and suicide attempts/ideation. the characters are distinct and the way their lives entwine don't distract from their individual journeys; viv is the main character but enough screentime is given to every supporting character that they all feel like main characters in their own right which is how it should be because that's how life is. 

more good news is it's short: only 6 episodes at just under an hour each (it doesn't mince screentime) so i binged it all yesterday when i wasn't feeling great and just. wow. i haven't found anything mentioning a second season but if they did more i'd watch it - but the thing is it ends with both closure and the potential for more exploration of the characters, so it feels like a realistic open ending and works as a single season story. 

i don't know if it's available overseas because it was created by and aired here by Stan (which is like our homemade Netflix) but i hope if you guys are interested you'll find a way to watch. 

bonus thing for me: seeing this story play out in my home (settings and details) was actually grounding in a way i didn't expect. like i mentioned above, most of us grow up on american tv and maybe some uk stuff and while that's good for an escape it can actually be jarring to get back into our real world. but (with good quality programming like this show) i realise aussie productions can make it a lot easier to connect with the physical world around me (not the digital world), to not feel so alone, and to know that it's worth finding productions from your homeland and they don't hinder the escape of fiction in fact they can aid in grounding it in a believable way. 

anyway. just one aussie who doesn't really like aussie-made stuff telling folks to give this show a go because i was pleasantly surprised. 

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(note: if anyone has any questions or concerns about triggering content please message me or reply to this post and i'll fill you in on stuff it does or doesn't feature)

[gabyoficial3]

ask The Dead Speaker Boxes[BFHC AU]

inspiration:caramel_candy

i have no ideas so i made this:3...but...why they are dead?

Flower speaker box(FLSB)

cause of death:murdered

culprit:flower

info:This death is canonical,basically at the beginning of BFDI 23,Firey speaker was trying to break the TCL,only he was making noise and distracting Flower,making her get angry and pick up a bowling ball to throw at him,Firey speaker box manages dodge the ball,but unfortunately flower speaker box was behind him,so the bowling ball crushed her,dying instantly;what changed about this death is how flower reacted when she saw what she did.

puffball speaker box(PSB)

cause of death:murdered

culprit:pin

info:the event of BFDIA 5a in the pin accidentally throws a knife at puffball speaker for me is not really a death,because in BFDIA 8 just by removing the knife he reappears,so in my AU he would die otherwise and intentionally;at the end of BFDIA and before IDFB,thanks to the power of the script everything returns to normal,so Pin would have his face and limbs back(the reasons why he lost them are in BFDIA 5a and BFDIA 11)and as revenge he decides to kill PSB,she convinces him to go to a forest that was quiet,PSB began to suspect this, but before fully realizing it,Pin with an ax in a rapid movement makes her an medium cut,causing a fatal wound PSB,while bleeding,Pin takes her to a nearby tree and she runs quickly,abandoning PSB while she slowly leaves this world...later puffball while looking for PSB,she finds him dead and puffball would cry for the death of his speaker box,causing depression,his mental health to deteriorate little by little and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

by the way:before TPOT 7 I think,puffball decided to commit suicide to be with PSB forever

Firey speaker box(FSB)

cause of death,murdered and dismembered culprit:donut

info:This death is also canonical,it can be deduced that Donut was the one who dismembered FSB,in BFB 8 in the part where it is revealed to us who will be eliminated,FSB appears dismembered and its parts are used for the contestants who were not eliminated(or who from me)indeed Firey was not happy with this and lamented the death of his speaker box(which he considered his son),what they changed is to increase the tension of that scene by making it really clear what the crash is like,from that moment on Firey He would go through the duel,which in the end he manages to overcome.

Announcer(speaker box)

causes of death:crushed and killed

culprits:spongey and kat

Info:Curiously,Announcer has two deaths,one canonical(which I consider that way)and another that I create for this AU,the first occurs at the beginning of BFDI 22,when he is crushed by Spongy due to the tremendous butterfly effect caused by Firey and Flower,due to What this one knew was heaven and was there before they made him a recovery center;and the second one,which is part of my AU,happens near the end of BFB 30,when with an argument with Kat(a friend's oc)he gets desperate and grabs a kind of tool and the announcer was baffled as to what was happening,and before finishing asking him what was happening,Kat attacks him with the tool and does so until they literally kills him,when Kat regains consciousness a little,they is terrified and escapes from the place as soon as possible,then some characters find him and mourn his loss,even his best friend VR headset.

[starlitfunkster]

BFDI Demon AU (Part 2): BFDI Cast

It's.. well it's almost done.

Only have to complete Leafy and Firey, and then Season 1 is finished. Below is basically every contestant on Season 1.

New Facts: -Demons are what the Eliminated Constestants become. If they rejoin or have yet to be eliminated on a new Season, they become Half-Demons until they are Eliminated once more. -1st and 2nd place usually become Angels by a Seasons end. If an Angel gets Eliminated, they Fall. Gelatin is the only acception to this (but we'll get to him when we get to him). -This AU is a Humanization AU, btw. Will I draw designs? Probably not. Will I let you guys make your own interpretations to their designs? Sure!

TW: Suicide (Eraser, Blocky, Pen, Tennis Ball, Firey (maybe)), Death (Everyone)

Flower - Goddess of Spring - Buried Alive - When she first arrived, she was quite cruel and mean. But deep down, there was a hurt teenager who was buried alive by her own boyfriend. Eventually, she started to realize that being mean was what got her into this Purgatory.. so she tried to change for the better. And it all worked out! She became the winner of BFB, and even ascended at some point. However, she made a deal with Gelatin that during Autumn and Winter she would stay with Gelatin in Hell, and during Spring and Summer she would be with the others in Purgatory.

Woody - Demon - Wood-Chipper (Murder) - Woody's death may seem cartoony at first glance. Oh, he fell in? No.. it's much more sinister. It's what makes him so afraid. Someone he thought he could trust ended up taking his life that day. And after being eliminated fourth, and not being able to come back? Truly sad.

Pin - Half-Demon - Murdered - Pin was apart of a group of murders happening in her area. And now stuck here in Purgatory? After being eliminated on BFDI, she became a demon. For a while, she stayed that way until BFB (and subsequently TPOT) came along. Now she can look human, and not have those obnoxious horns in the way of her sleep.

Needle - Half-Demon - Stabbed to Death - She used to be quite the needy girl when she was alive. After being murdered by a loved one, she saw that as a sign. A sign that she needed to change. This is why she hates being called 'Needy', because she doesn't want to be like she was back then. She's at least shown that she's grown past her previous self.

Teardrop - Changeling - Teardrop was born to a colony with the same name as her. But she defected from that colony, and has gone on to become the most recurring contestant. It would be wise not to touch her toxin-induced tongue. Least you want to die a very painful and long death.

Golf Ball - Half-Demon - Ran Over (Accident) - GB died in what could be called an 'accident'. It won't stop her from saying someone in her family did it on purpose. That's because she knows her family didn't like how smart she was becoming. She was becoming too smart too fast. Oh well.

Coiny - Half-Demon - Zinc Toxicity - This is why you don't eat coins, kids. He ate multiple of them like a stupid idiot, and died. He considers it very stupid, and hates when people make fun of him for it. Low-key wants to be eliminated again so he can go back to eating the tasty demon-food that he can no longer eat in his half-demon state.

Snowball - Half-Demon - Fatal Frostbite - He, Blocky, and Eraser drove to Pen's house to keep a close eye on him. However, Blocky told him to stay in the car. And he did. And he stayed in the car even as the temperature got fatal. He would die in that car, because he didn't want to seem weak in front of his friends. And now his form is ironic, and he hates it. He's still just as strong as he was before he died.

Match - Demon - ??? (we don't talk about her and Pencil's death - She and Pencil in this universe were sisters. They played with each other, and they also died with each other. We don't talk about their death though, because it was very fucked up. As a demon, she can create fires whenever she feels her alliance is threatened.. but very rarely will she actually do this. It's probably cause she has PTSD from her death, but only her and her sister know for sure what it is.

Eraser - Half-Demon - Bled Out (multiple eraser-made wounds were seen, supposedly being deep enough to show blood.) - The pessimist who tends to get hungry at the worst possible times! He actually caused his own death, but not because he was suicidal. He admits it was caused by the stress from being a witness to one of the Liy Murders. This apparently is the real reason why he and Blocky died (which Blocky would never talk about). Anyways, he's wanting to go back to being a demon so he can eat the demon-foods, because they are apparently more filling than the foods on Purgatory.

Pen - Half-Demon - Ink Poisoning (Liy Murders) - He was the last victim that Liy hunted down. He earlier drank a vial of what he thought was 'soda' (it wasn't, it was ink), and was slowly dying from that. He went into a closet to hide from Liy, and texted Eraser, Blocky, and Snowball for help. It would be too late, and he would be pulled out of the closet. Before Liy could stab him with a pen, he began throwing up blood. He, in the end, got the last laugh. And now he and his fellow victims are in Purgatory away from Liy, and can help prevent death once and for all.

Blocky - Demon - Prank Gone Wrong - He died from being too stressed out about Pen's death.. which ended up in his prank going wrong. What was supposed to cause laughs around him and with him, instead turned into a tragedy that killed him and many nameless victims. He's a loner in Hell, usually making pranks on the living that would (normally) harm them, but since their all immortal (by the virtue of already being dead), its in the end funny for the people watching. He would cease pranking once he started dating Pencil, upon realizing that these pranks were not helping him move on from his death.

Tennis Ball - Half-Demon - Suicide by Car (He witnessed Golf Ball's death and took it very hard (since they were dating at that time)) - Tennis Ball hasn't been known to be the best when handling stress. So his peers say at least. Although he knows why Golf Ball loved him, and that's cause he was smart and didn't judge Golf Ball for who she was. That's how nice and caring he was. And that's why his death was so.. tragic.

Pencil - Demon - ??? (we don't talk about her and Match's death) - She and Match were sisters, dying together in a horribly gross and gruesome way. Aaaaand that's all the context you'd get out of her or Match. They don't like talking about it. Her tail is made of graphite, and it's sharp enough to slash and harm anyone who threatens her alliance. She would soon start dating Blocky, which was enough to mend the broken heart she had since her death (apparently her boyfriend broke up with her, the same day she would die).

David - Demon (maybe pureblood?) - This demon, alongside it's sister Dora, were observing the Algebraemons making their shows. It joined one of them because Two realized they needed 1 more contestant. Since they could mimic a humans appearance so perfectly, they assumed their dead identity.

Ice Cube - Half-Demon - Crushed (by a huge ice block) - The only reason she died was because she was spelunking with a few friends. One was Bracelety, and another was [REDACTED]. Supposedly, as the tale went, [REDACTED] found a gap and told Ice Cube to stand under it. [REDACTED] then got into an argument over safety with Bracelety, resulting in Ice Cube's death. She's very vengeful, and wants revenge on [REDACTED].

Rocky - Half-Demon - Choked on Vomit - The youngest of the first gen, and.. yikes. Their parents weren't attentive enough, and they died by their sickness. All because their parents wouldn't vaccinate them. Anyways, they are still sick until BFDIA. They just don't like vomiting as much, and prefer not being sick. And then Balloony comes along and messes that up..

Spongy - Demon - Drowned - He was bullied a lot in school, and supposedly those kids tossed him into the waters underneath the bridge. It was deep enough (and cold enough) for him to drown. Instead of holding resentment towards everyone else, he just keeps to himself. He can take pain like a champ, but doesn't like it when people betray him. He's also buoyant now! How ironic…

Bubble - Demon - Implosion - Nobody really knows how she imploded. Rumors say she ate a bomb, but others say someone hid one in her food at school. If that were the case, everyone would've been evacuated that day. But either way, this lovable chubby girl can create bubbles at will. Her hair and tail-tip are even made from bubbles! And look! She's made new friends with Pencil, Match, and Ruby!

Leafy - Fallen Angel - Unknown (went missing in a deep forest) - TBA

Firey - Fallen Angel - Burned to Death - TBA

[richardsphere]

A Breakup letter to a comfort show

So i guess this might be it for me,

To summarise my history with RWBY. I watched the first 2 or so seasons on-or-around launch i think. Enjoyed the fights, was indiferent to a lot of the characters tbh (Yang and Blake didnt really grab me, like i didnt "dislike" them, i was just largely indiferent. Weiss meanwhile was just infuriating with the blatant racism and entitlement issues. Like i knew they were going to make her grow as a character, but also i just couldnt stand her.) There were 5 characters i really enjoyed. -Nora -Pyrrha -Jaune -Penny. -and last but not least, Ruby I basically came into this series for the fun powers, interesting weapons, great fight-choreography and light humerous tone. It became my comfortshow during a quite stressfull time in my life. The early seasons were kitchy, but in a fun way. Then the tournament arc ended with 2/5 dead, one of which in a horrifically graphic manner and I decided i needed a minor break for my mental health. Couple of years later, Picked up where i left off and I fell out at the "weiss gets impaled through the heart" episode. Which to me really cemented the whole "the villains will just always win, the heroes might sometimes almost not lose"-tone for me. A tone that got me down into “I dont care who wins, as long as the suffering ends”-mode, and triggered my ideation issues badly. That as well as Salem's reveal doing the whole "female victim of tragedy holds authorities accountable for the injustice faced-> Inevitably gets turned into an inhuman monster that must be killed for the benefit of civilisation as a whole because women speaking up about their place in the world=bad" trope that i just absolutely despise. (it's one of my 3 most loathed tropes) So i drop out again. Swearing not to return unless the show got out of deconstruction-city and into “There Is Still Hope”-opolis. When the current season started airing, word on the wind came to me that the show had gotten past the dark story-arc now, the darkest hour had passed and the show is going to go into the rebuilding arc/reconstruction arc/the third act. So I decide to give it a shot again, not enough to buy a crunchyroll subscription (to prevent sunk-cost fallacy forcing my hand in an emergency) but enough to grab out binoculars and look at the fandom from what felt like a safe distance. Current status of my 5 comfort characters that made the show comfortable for me: -I dont know her status. Presumeably alive? -Probably Still Dead (theorised by some to be amnesiac as statue-woman, which isnt that much better imo,) -Old, will probably consign himself to a painful-firey death before the season is over for reasons of name and season Intro. -Died twice, second time less graphic but more gruesome then the first. (possibly dead thrice if the little theories are true) -Tortured into committing Suicide on screen. I guess it was nice getting to see 4/5 in one episode again before the end, but i am starting to struggle to believe a “safe distance” even exists for me anymore, I think that, unless the last 2 episodes perform amiracle somehow, it'd probably be best for me to block all the tags and never look back. I'll miss my old comfort show, but i guess it might finally be time to say goodbye.

[shatteredhourglass]

2/? of the notes-app-cleaning-draft-yeeting: the death parade sambucky au. in which sam is in the afterlife waiting to be judged whether he goes to the next life or the underworld and becomes an assistant to bucky, one of the judges, as they have people play games against each other to decide their fates after death. sam doesn’t remember how he died. bucky doesn’t remember steve, who is constantly harassing him about it. clint and natasha are also judges. i really liked this one. cw for suicide mention

"Don't you remember me, Bucky?"

"No," Bucky says flatly, setting the dry glass onto a shelf.

The blond guy sighs dramatically and throws himself onto the barstool next to Sam. He's got his face buried in his arms and Sam idly considers moving away. No real point, though.

"Drink?"

"Sure," Sam answers Bucky. "What've you got?"

"Everything," Bucky says.

Right. "That doesn't narrow it down," Sam says. "Why don't you make something that you like and I'll try it?"

Bucky seems... puzzled by that answer, judging from the way he just stops in his tracks. Like he doesn't know what he likes. 

----

"If you're going to stare at me, you can at least come into the room instead of lurking out there like a weirdo," Sam says without looking up. He twists one of the knobs, strums a note.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

----

Two people are standing behind the bar. Neither of them are Bucky, although they're wearing the same black aprons and white shirts. The taller one, a blond man with messy hair, needs to iron his shirt - it looks like he's been walking around in a tornado. The shorter one is a woman with long red hair that covers one side of her face. The ends are blonde. She's mixing something in a shaker.

When Sam makes eye contact, he notices the man has one blue eye and the other one is green. Interesting.

"Where's Bucky?"

"Not here," the woman says.

----

"When people show you who they are, you should believe them," Natasha says. 

----

"You must think we're all idiots," Sam says.

"No," Bucky answers, after a long moment. "I think you're wonderful."

----

"What are you doing?"

"Spa day," Clint says. "Hey, can you check and make sure I haven't missed any?"

"Your luscious locks aren't that long," Sam says as he approaches. He picks up the brush with dye on it and carefully combs through Clint's hair until he finds a patch of firey red at the roots, untouched by the dye. Huh. He'd thought they were looking for premature greying. (Can people age in this place?)

Sam pauses for a second.

It's the same colour as...

"We played a game," Clint says. "A long time ago. Me against Natasha. Once we realised what was happening, we refused to play. We were stuck in a stalemate."

"What was the game?"

"You know what? I don't even remember anymore," Clint says.

Sam steps back, puts the brush down. "Done. So what, you're still waiting?"

Clint laughs, throws back his drink. "No," he says, and there's something dark simmering in the cornflower blue and emerald green of his eyes. "It doesn't work like that. We both lost, and we both paid the price instead."

"Do you regret it?"

"It's hard not to regret what comes after," Clint says. "You don't come back in one piece. I try not to think about it."

"How'd you end up here, if you're meant to be...?"

"Steve gave us a choice," Natasha says, and Sam tries not to flinch at how suddenly she'd appeared. She reaches over and snags Clint's glass, fills it up with straight vodka. "A lifetime of torture or a lifetime of service. You can guess what we chose."

"How long is a lifetime?"

"This place doesn't have lives or times," Clint says.

Natasha sips her drink. 

----

"If Bucky remembers, he has to play," Natasha says.

----

"Is Steve... Death?"

"No," Natasha says after a moment, thoughtful. "I don't think so. I can't imagine Death would be so cold."

----

"I knew I was dead," Sam says, and his traitorous voice wobbles.

"Sam, you..." Steve says.

"I killed myself?"

----

"Sam?"

"Come here," Sam says, grabs Bucky's stupid apron and pulls him close. He smells like deodorant and fruity shampoo, and Sam doesn't have the capacity to wonder where he gets it in Purgatory.

Bucky's hands hover around his back for a long moment before settling on his waist, a barely-there touch like he thinks Sam is made of glass.

----

"Who am I meant to-"

"Me," Bucky says. "You'll be playing against me."

"What do you get if you win?" Sam asks, frustrated. "You're not dead. You're not anything."

Bucky blinks at him, slow and a little too calm for Sam's liking. "You don't want to play against me?"

"No," Sam says. "I sure fucking don't."

----

Riley steps into the room. 

----

"Very well," Steve says.

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Steve gestures to the door with a smile on his face

Sam looks at Bucky.

Bucky, who's staring at him with a completely neutral face. As Sam makes eye contact, though, he flicks his gaze towards Steve and then back to Sam, blinks slow and purposeful.

It's a trick. 

----

"Russian roulette," Bucky says.

----

Bucky presses the gun to his temple. Blinks at Sam, slow and steady as he pulls the trigger.

Click.

Then he holds the gun out to Sam.

----

"No," Sam says, putting the gun down. "No, we're not doing this."

"You have to play the game," Bucky says flatly. 

----

"It doesn't matter whether I win or lose. No matter what I do, the outcome's already been decided," Sam says. "Isn't that right, Steve?"

"Nothing is set in stone," Steve says.

The way he says it, though. He's lying. 

----

"I'm not playing," Sam says.

"You have to play," Steve says, resting his elbows on the railing. "You already know what happens to those that don't."

"The same thing that'll happen to me if I do," Sam says. 

----

"No," Bucky says.

----

"What the-" Clint says, and Sam feels something cold touch his forehead.

It's snowing. 

----

When Sam looks back, it's into a pair of bone-white eyes.

Oh.

Bucky never has to play the game, because he was never alive.

It makes sense why Steve is always here now. Judgement and Death go hand-in-hand in this realm, and one would never be far from the other.

It all comes together. Who else would it be? Bucky, who's hopelessly in love with the living, who offers comfort as he takes them away. 

----

"Buck," Steve says. "You can't just keep him."

"You could use another barkeep," Bucky says flatly. His expression doesn't change at all. "Three of them just passed on."

"They can't just-" Steve starts, stops. Regards Bucky with surprise. "You moved them on?"

"You're not the only one with power in this realm," Bucky says. "You gonna stop me, Steve?"

[pencililoveyou]

BFDIA 0: SUFFERINGOBJECT.MP4

The Start:

Have you heard of this show "Battle for dream Island again" or "BFDIA" this show had the best season there was also new episodes 2023! And they were awesome but I like to share you something disturbing this is what I found!

The Story:

In 2013 It was a stormy day I was on my computer I was listening to K-pop (permanently girls generation) until all the sudden I got a notification from Jacknjenify. It was a new episode of BFDIA it was titled "BFDIA 0: SUFFERINGOBJECTS.MP4 the thumbnail had a black screen .I don't know we're this is going so I clicked on it anyway!

The Episode:

The video started with a warning it says "WARNING THE VIDEO YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE WILL CONTAIN BLOOD GORE SUICIDE CRYING KNIFE GUNS CHAINSAWS AND HORROR VIEWER DESCRIPTION IS ADVISED" then the intro started but it was very wrong the intro was colored in black and white the music was in reversed and was low pinched and all of the contestants were killed by a black screen saying on the front "DIE" I totally have no idea where this is going that's the whole episode continued...

Then It Cut To Firey he had black circles for eyes and he was frowning firey was saying something both in slow motion and reversed. But I don't know what he's saying as he pulled out a knife...

Then it showed needle holding up a gun to her hand on to her head on a grey screen. she was shooting herself as blood flew all over

Then fiery walked up to coiny he was stabbing him so many times. coiny was screaming to death. blood was coming out of his stomach and his mouth and fiery laughed demonically

Then firey was stabbing flower in her head flowers brain was coming out. so is her organs automatically

Then it cut to static for one second it cut to metal leafy holding her knife she was stabbing needle and gelatin. their organs are popping out leafy had black circles for eyes and her mouth was bleeding

Then it showed pin killing puffball with a chainsaw. Rainbow blood was coming out of her. she was crying as she got scared about all of her blood coming out by pin. I threw up all over as I continued watching the episode.

Then it showed a demonic X finds out his value clip their voices was in reverse and the music is slowed down

Then it cut to ice Cube holding up a machine gun onto her head she shot herself just like needle did as a lot of blood came out of her

Then it showed pencil doing something evil

She took out a knife

She stabbed match

Blood and guts came out of match

Pencil and match stop being best friends. As pencil brutally wants to forever murder her friend

That it showed pin getting killed by puffball speaker box as she got mad

Then it cut to pen hanging himself up a noose. He was committing suicide eraser saw his best friend after his suicide. Eraser was crying. Eraser wants to kill himself too. He took out a gun and shot himself just like needle and ice Cube

Then it cut to bubble shooting ruby. bubble then took out ruby's organs and pulled out a knife and stabbed some of her organs (like her heart and her lungs)

Then it cut to book cutting open her stomach. She chunked all of her organs into a blender. she turns it on and makes an organ smoothie

The last scene cut the fiery leafy and bubble they have black circles for eyes and they were saying "we coming for you" in slow motion and reversed then repeated over and over again and also was getting slower and slower at the same time. I can't take this no more the screen was also flashing to intervert over and over again then it went to black

At the ending it's show some white text over a black screen it says "look behind you"I looked behind me I saw fiery leafy and bubble I shockingly said "what are you guys doing in my house"super loudly fiery leafy and bubble grab their knives and they were stabbing me all over

the ending:

I woke up I thought it was all just a dream. I said to myself that BFDIA was not 16+ it was made for kids I told my mom about this I had to stop watching BFDIA until 2023 when bfdia 6: "well rested" it's released!

Thanks for reading bye: 3

[sskk-ao3feed]

Give Me A Harbor

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Ceonpcb by FushKuroo After the death of a dear friend Dazai grapples with life and his place in the world. At his wits end, and ready to give it all up he meets a certain firey redhead who brings color back into his life. Or, I'm bad at summaries, but sit down and stay awhile. Words: 1241, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Multi Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Hirotsu Ryuurou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Higuchi Ichiyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kajii Motojirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Naomi, Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi/Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin/Higuchi Ichiyou, Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo/Sakaguchi Ango (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Love Confessions, Feelings Realization, Love Hotels, Gentle Sex, Explicit Consent, Consensual Sex, Wall Sex, Birthday Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Caring Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Switch Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Switch Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu Wears a Dress (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Past Dazai Osamu/Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dead Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Other Additional Tags to Be Added read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Ceonpcb

[readingrobin]

Reading-wise, May was absolutely ROUGH. I've been trying to tackle my library book backlog, which is an incredibly formidable opponent, I'll tell you, and unfortunately a lot of them ranged from being simply okay to "why did I even put any time into this one?" As a result, by the end of the month, I was desperate to find anything that would slightly interest me, as I was heading towards a bit of a slump. I'm in the middle of a couple things now that I'm really enjoying and just didn't get around to finishing before May ended, so I'm going to say I'm leaving this month off on a positive note. Now I venture forth into June with summer reading challenges ahead of me and a new job that yeahhhh is really going to impact my reading time, but yay employment!

Total Books Reads: 9

Total Pages Read: 3,846

Books Read:

The Boneless Mercies by April Genevieve Tucholke (2.5/5) -

My curiosity towards this book really peaked with that cover design, which really draws in the eye well with the contrast of a dark blue with the firey red of a sunset and wolf silhouette. Gets you in the mood for an intense read, which here is a reinterpretation of Beowulf. It seems to be a fairly loose interpretation to my knowledge, just a group going off to fight against a monster, which sure seems to be Beowulfy enough. There was some imagination put behind some of the worldbuilding, except when it came to the setting, as it seems to be some Scandinavian-adjacent place with a lot of real world words all jumbled around. Norse becomes Vorse, Valhalla becomes Holhalla, Odin is Obin. It's not really my favorite kind of setting, basically something familiar with just maybe a few letters off, as it just seems less creative.

The Mercies themselves seem like a very bleak, but interesting concept, what with their entire purpose being assisted suicide. Immediately we can sympathize with the main character Frey, who has had enough of death and longs to make her mark on the world. Unfortunately, out of all the main leads, she's probably the least engaging. The other girls, Runa, Juniper, and Ovie, have way more compelling backstories and motivations that would make them fine POV characters that, in comparison, just make Frey look quite dull. Her quest for glory seems so hollow compared to what they've been through and want to achieve.

It wasn't a terrible book. The action flowed well, the stakes were high, and there were some effective emotional moments. It just didn't feel as strong as it could have been, like it could have used one more draft to get all the kinks out. I wanted to like it, but, overall, I just left the story feeling fairly neutral.

The Monkey King: The Complete Odyssey by Chaiko (4.5/5) -

An exceptional adaptation of the classic saga Journey to the West. Chaiko's watercolors always excel in heightening the tone of a scene, whether it's a dark, intense battle in the clouds, or a light, emotional parting of ways in a snowy forest. The style gives the comic a rough, traditional look, which pairs well with such a legendary and beloved story.

I am naturally biased because I will automatically love anything with a great portrayal of Sun Wukong. The Monkey King is always a great character to focus on when giving the story a new breath of fresh air, as he has the most compelling character development, going from heavenly menace to loyal disciple.

My only complaint is that, while the marketing and synopsis claim this is the complete story of the Monkey King, it does not follow Wukong, Sanzang, Bajie, and Sha's journey to the west to the very end. It concludes rather abruptly, only mentioning that several adventures lay ahead for them. It was a bit frustrating not to see the story reach its natural end, but at least it provides readers the opportunity to seek out more of it for themselves. Since it keeps the same epic, adventurous vibe of the original while keeping true to the characters, that enough makes it a worthy adaptation.

Dark Ride Vol. 1 by Joshua Williamson (3/5) -

Hard to give a lot of thoughts since we're only at the beginning here, but it seems like a promising, dark beginning. The amusement park gives off a Halloween Horror Nights at Universal from Hell sort of vibe, an infernal Disneyland complete with an iconic statue of the founder along with his creation. I like the look of the comic, unsurprisingly full of deep reds and dark colors. The designs of the devilish mascots are whimsical, yet take on a nefarious edge as the horror element starts to kick in.

It feels too soon to really give my thoughts on the characters. They don't make too much of an impact just yet, and I'm willing to give them a couple more issues to see if they start to stand out.

Interested to see where the story goes from here.

This Monstrous Thing by Mackenzi Lee (3.5/5) -

A neat steampunk reimagining of Frankenstein that gets fairly meta at times. It provides a nice alternative history that, while not entirely accurate, perfectly serves the point of the narrative. Lee evokes a similar coldness in her retelling of the old romantic tale, though mostly just in setting as the Victor Frankenstein equivalent actually has some humanity to him rather than a god complex gone rampant. 

Alasdair feels like he comes from the opposite end of the humanity spectrum, still having an interest in the altering of humanity through machinery, but ultimately dabbles in mad scientist out of a love and need for his brother to survive. He is racked with a guilt that is more on a reasonable level for us to empathize with. I like the original Frankenstein, as much of a disaster as he is, but it's interesting to see a more grounded and human reinterpretation. 

Also, Lee provided a much different envisioning of Mary Shelley than I think we in the gothic lit circle are used to. Again, I know I keep using this word, but she's so very human here, capable of faults and taking a story that isn't her own and flinging it to the masses before she could get any control over it. 

I wish there was a bit more of Oliver. I think I was just missing him for a good chunk of the novel, seeing as he shows up for a chapter in the beginning and doesn't really work his way back in until maybe around the Act III portion of the story. Maybe I still prefer following the creature over the creator, but I suppose we get enough of him through Alasdair's memories in those portions.

Big hoorah to Clemence's queerness being an aspect, (that I totally think deserves her getting her own story and girlfriend) and lack of romance between her and Alasdair besides being the main duo of the book. 

For A Muse of Fire by Heidi Heilig (2/5) -

Woe to all the readers that are always lured to a book because there's a badass dragon on the cover, only to realize that there aren't any actual dragons in the book. Okay, maybe on a technicality there is, but really there was no amount of technicality dragon that was going to save this book for me.

For a Muse of Fire was probably the most frustrating time I've had with a book in a while, for multiple reasons. The plot moves at a snail's pace, rarely getting anywhere or committing to a sense of conflict that doesn't end with Jetta running away. There were several moments during the first portion I was ready to put it down altogether, but the middle portion seemed promising and actually flowed much better than the beginning, only for the end to sink back into that meandering pace. Things do happen, twists are revealed, but it feels like the book never spends time on them long enough for them to mean anything. There's no build up to them, no sense of shock or thinking about the implications, only a passing reaction and, boom, we're back on our way. 

Jetta as a character is also incredibly hard to become invested in. As I said before, she doesn't really tackle conflicts head on, only runs away until the plot says she can't anymore. She repeatedly makes very dangerous decisions, like straight up showing her magic right in front of the guy that would probably kill her if he knew about her magic just to get passage on a ship. From the author's note, it's also mentioned that she is bipolar, which could explain her more impulsive decisions, but I don't know, she never read as bipolar to me. Perhaps that's more on me not the the symptoms of being bipolar, as it is a condition the author shares. 

The only part of the book that really stood out to me was the slight historical inspiration of a France-adjacent country occupying what can clearly be seen as a parallel to southeast Asia. Here you can really see elements of colonialism, military occupation, and cultural erasure. It's incredibly heavy at times, as Helig doesn't shy away from any brutality. It feels like the most genuine aspect of the book, and so it slightly raises my rating a bit. 

Since getting through this book was such a struggle towards the end, I don't think I will be continuing with the series. 

The Owls Have Come To Take Us Away by Ronald L. Smith (1.5/5) -

I can always appreciate a book for tweens that's not afraid to get a little disturbing. Smith clearly knows how to lay the tension on thick, providing us with a seemingly unreliable narrator as well as giving us a clear, honest picture of their fear through voice and tone. There were moments where I was genuinely unnerved by what seemed like the mental unraveling of Simon, a middle schooler that believed he was abducted by aliens. Even before the encounter, Simon always seems a tad paranoid, afraid of otherworldly threats and experiencing feelings of being watched. The fast paced nature of the book heightens a sense of tension, as it never really gives you a moment's rest.

However, what initially came off as a horror story about a boy fearing capture by unknown forces and constantly going unheard by everyone around him really loses any effects it had by the end. The climax of the final chapter, while rushed, provides such a bleak ending yet feels complimentary to the rest of the book. Unfortunately, all of that is undone within three pages. We go from an epic turning point in the story where our main character's fears are fully realized, the future is unclear, and we don't know what sort of danger awaits him, only to rush forward 100 years to see everything was always going to be hunky dory. It seems drastically disappointing. I understand that this book was written for younger audiences, but I've seen countless books that were able to go to similar places and stick their more unhappy endings. And dang, aren't those the ones that stick with you in your childhood?

And yeah, continuing the stigma of "parents are never going to listen to you so don't tell them anything/therapists are only there to pump drugs into you to make you behave" is not great. It's concerning that these elements are still found in stories for youth today, where mental health is becoming more rampant of an issue. I understand it might have worked against the conflict of the book, but Simon deserved some sort of validation somewhere or got his moment to feel understood.

I won't count reading this book as a total loss, since I was able to finish it in a day and got some sort of emotion out of it. The representation of a biracial lead is drastically needed in more sci-fi/horror stories, so I'm glad that it's here, but sadly representation doesn't exactly make up for a poor story.

Nayra and the Djinn by Iasmin Omar Ata (3/5) -

Has a wonderfully soft, pastel color pallet that gives it a sort of astral look. The mixing of all the purples and pinks give it a welcoming atmosphere and brings out the magic of the story. It was great to learn about more about Ramadan, as it was a holiday I was unfamiliar with and I'm always so excited to learn more about holidays from cultures different from mine.

While the story had a good foundation, I wish we got a bit more development on certain things: Nayra's relationship with her family, the djinn's world, Rami's home life, and some more resolution with the bullies.

Strange Grace by Tessa Gratton (3.5/5) -

There is something that is so subtlety charming about this book. It often comes off as a folk horror story, in which a town must sacrifice one of their own to appease the malevolent force that lives in the woods and keeps their town from experiencing famine, disease, and overall hardship. There's a good dose of body horror as well, in which flowers and thorns grow out of skin, which is enough to give you a bit of a tingle down your spine. The beginning is somewhat of a slow start, as we see the town worry about how the ritual has come too soon this year and the concerns of some of the potential sacrifices, but when it finally gets going it keeps that energy for the rest of the story.

What I really appreciate is the strength of the love between the main trio. I always applaud an author that takes relationships that in any other YA novel would have been a contentious love triangle and instead creates a more polyamorous union between them. It gives a good bit of representation, subverts a trope that's been done to death, and honestly feels so refreshing to see characters that all truly like each other.

While I found this book entertaining and worth reading, I don't know if I'm going to remember it a year from now.

The Dreamway by Lisa Papademetriou (3/5) - A perfectly serviceable middle grade book that gives a well meaning allegory for depression and the process in which one loses themselves to their negative thoughts and emotions. For me, it didn't read as anything groundbreaking, but it may make quite a difference to a young reader trying to navigate those feelings. The ending seemed a tad abrupt, and there were a few plot elements that didn't really get much resolution as a result.

DNFs:

The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice - Honestly, I don't think I could take the book seriously after Anne Rice compared a man turning into a werewolf to getting a boner. I was too busy snickering to even process what I was reading. I think I want to stop mainly because I think that's one of the only things I want to remember about this book. That the main character, Reuben the Wolf Man, is the most basic, has-all-the-charisma-of-a-paper-bag lead and Anne Rice made a metaphor I don't think I'll ever forget.

Average Rating: 2.94/5

[ao3feed-tolkien]

All Evils

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/GOxozhp

by trifid

Sauron turns up the moment Maedhros stands on that firey chasm.

(This fanfic assumes they have at least met once during mae's unfortunate 30 year stay at angband)

Words: 1203, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Major Character Death

Characters: Maedhros | Maitimo, Sauron | Mairon

Additional Tags: Angst, Mostly Canon Compliant, tw suicide, Suicide, this is the scene where maedhros yeets himself so yeah, My First Work in This Fandom, no beta we die like... like that., sauron tries to play the "we are not so different you and I" card and fails

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/GOxozhp

[silashumanities]

There is a hint of morning sun rising that shines through the room. This typically brings new adventures and possibilities- but not for the young man laying on the bed. He is not asleep, resting for the day to come. But rather he has taken his life. The bottle that rolled across the floor, his limp, pale arm dangling, and his half kicked off shoe demonstrates a clear tell of what happened. While his skin and shirt is pale and signaling death, the firey glow of his auburn hair and the dazzling blue of his pants are remembrances of what his life once was and what passion he might have held.

The visual piece I have chosen is "The Death of Chatterton" by Henry Wallis. I feel the important details of this piece are firstly his pale skin as well as the bottle lying on the floor. This signals not only death, but suicide. I also feel that the window being open is important as it may be an allusion towards what potential and opportunity he is missing. I also noted how shabby his room is and how it suggests he was poor- giving perhaps a reasoning to his choices of suicide. Another important detail is how while most of the color pallete is dull, his pants and hair specifically are very vibrant, making a reference to the romantic person he had been when he was alive and how much passion he had held. I feel my prose is able to hold the same emotions as the original and get across the same points as it has a dull feeling except for a few bright parts. It also conveys his death and who he once may have been as well as what he is missing out on. I attempted to make my own piece feel very melancholy and saddening.

[mittenyaare]

Maedhros and Fire

Even after rebirth, there are moments Maedhros stares blankly into a hearth-fire and remembers.

He remembers Losgar and the burning of the ships and how he fought, desperately so, against his own father. And how he lost.

He remembers the demons of fire—Balrogs, the first they'd seen—surrounding his father after his reckless, foolish, mad charge.

He remembers the fire of his father's own spirit consuming his broken body and turning it into so much ash.

He remembers the fires in the pits of Angband, remembers each burning cut into his skin, remembers choking on the putrid stench of death and decay and something other.

He remembers the Bragollach. Remembers holding firm—though not easily, it was never easy—against the fires and hordes Morgoth sent then. He remembers many, so many, who met their ends in sudden fire or choking on smoke. Remembers the once green plain of Ard-Galen burning to black ash as Anfauglith.

He remembers Balrogs—oh how he hated them even now in this Fourth Age of the Sun—and the whip of fire which caught and strangled and burned his beloved cousin, ai Fingon—

He remembers the burn of a hallowed, shining jewel in his left hand. The burn which was hotter than flame, pronouncing justice and judgement. The flame which drove him...

He remembers the fires of the earth as he kept into its chasm. Remembers consigning himself to that fire and thinking of fire was I born and of fire shall I perish, burn without what burns within.

Sometimes Maedhros will stare blankly into the hearth-fire and think: it is only a memory and a mockery, a mockery and a memory of fire.

[siren1song]

Oh jeeze, what the fuck is wrong with those anons? That's,,, that's NOT okay in the slightest, Cas doesn't deserve any of that in the slightest, and I hope that one anon at LEAST gets fucking arrested since that's most definitely illegal

yeah no fucking kidding i am. a Very pissed off alter who is most definitely real and just because i dont have a physical body doesnt give anybody the right to not only tell casper hes faking but to kill himself for it im so. fucking pissed.