#dedicating the first part of this to a-killer-obsession for their birthday!

[nethhiri]

Marooned: Chapter 41

Kid x FemReader x Killer

Warnings: Sex, mentions of violence

Discovery

Waking up in Killer's bear hug made you question if you wanted to ever leave the Kid Pirates to pursue your personal goals. Even though you didn't deserve this level of affection and kindness in the first place, you greedily craved more of it. What if you could wake up every day like this? Would that be enough to fulfill you? You thought this journey you were on was purely for yourself, but the more you thought about abandoning it, the more you thought you would be letting down the victims. 

There wasn't a rush. You didn't have to decide now. It had just been weighing on your mind. Surely if you stayed long enough, with the path Kid was on, you would come across boundless marines. 

"Darlin?" Killer's bangs covered his eyes but he was awake. He probably sensed that you were awake and woke up too. 

You pulled your face from its place on his shoulder. "Mm?"

"You ok? You were making a face."

"That's just my face." You scratched his goatee. 

"No, no. Your face is usually much meaner." 

You playfully bapped his cheek. "How dare you. You're lucky I like you." You pulled him towards you, guiding his lips your own. "It's "later" you know."

"It is," Killer agreed slowly. He was mentally calculating how long he had before he needed to start breakfast. It was hard to think when his mind was focused on the way his body was reacting to your lips and teeth against his neck. He allowed himself to give in to your touch. 

You threw your leg over his hip, noticing that he had removed his jeans at some point during the night. Winding your hand into his hair, you pulled him back to your mouth, tasting his tongue on yours, feeling his breath hitch when your hand felt along his hardness. His hand ran from your face, to your breasts, kneading them, running his thumb over your nipples. It went lower, squeezing your hip, your ass, pulling your thigh tighter to him. 

Killer rolled over you, pulling your other leg up around him. Through his boxers, he was grinding his dick against you, groaning into your kisses. His hand moved to replace his dick, sliding two fingers into your wetness. He coaxed sweet sounds from your mouth, pumping his fingers slowly in an out of you, adding a third to prepare you for him. The wet fabric of his boxers,  a mixture of his precum and your wetness, clung to his skin. 

You whined as he removed his fingers, licking them off, and kissing you again with the taste of you on his tongue. You felt his weight shift as he removed the last bit of cloth between you. A second later you felt his tip pressing against your slit. You pushed your heels into his back, prompting him to continue. 

Killer groaned as he felt your cunt envelope him completely, pushing in until his balls gently slapped against your ass. His cock twitched hearing the wanton moan from you as he pushed past your folds. Finally, he could feel how tight and hot and wet you were. It was his own fault he waited this long in the first place, but he was right when he thought it would be all the more worth it when he finally fucked you. He could feel your eagerness from the way your walls pulsed and gripped against him and the way your hips rolled up for friction.

The dam had been broken. Neither of you could keep your hands or your mouths off each other. You were desperate to swallow his moans, and he, yours. Your hands were scratching at his back or pulling his hair. He was pulling yours, too, mostly to keep you still so he could keep kissing you deeply. He pumped into you at a decent pace, not too slow, not too fast. Making breakfast was forgotten. Killer was only focused on making one thing and it was making you cum. Killer leaned up for a moment, grabbing your thighs and pushing them down until your knees almost reached your ears. He wanted to kiss you some more, but he wanted to watch your face when you came even more. 

"Fuck, Killer," you moaned as he hit a deep angle. "Don't s-stop." Your eyes were half closed, though still watching his abs contract with every thrust, watching his shaft disappear inside you repeatedly, watching his hair tumble over his shoulders. Your eyes drifted to his, where they were caught by his bright blue irises. The angle his cock was hitting you and the way he was looking at you brought you closer to the edge. 

Killer stared down at you and licked his lips. Every buck of his hips made your tits bounce. Your chest heaved with how hard you panted. The sinfully wet sounds coming from your cunt were driving him wild. He was kicking himself for not eating you out first. Next time. The look in your eyes alone made him want to nut. Your pleas for him to fuck you harder did not go unheeded. He could feel your entire body tense, your thighs pushing back against his hold, your head tipping back, your back arching. The praise falling from your kiss-swollen lips and the increase in wetness around his cock made his hips stutter. 

A wave of pleasure flooded your body in surges. "You make me feel s-so good, Kil." You tugged at him. "Please k-kiss me m-more." You were still riding out your orgasm, meeting the rhythm of his hips with your own. You didn't expected him to scoop you up to straddle his lap. His hands grabbed your hips and moved you up and down his length, pressing you down and grinding into it. His cock hit your deepest center, forcing you to the edge a second time in this overstimulated state. "Fuck. I'm-." His lips went to your neck, kissing it, whispering things into your ear. 

"Cum again for me." He pushed your hips into his own again. "I n-need to see it again." One of his hands slid so his thumb could reach your clit, rubbing against it. 

It was like his voice has a hold on you. You wanted more of his praise. The pressure against your now-oversensitive clit made you cry out. The coil in your belly was about to unwind.

"That's it." Killer brought you down onto himself harder. "You're being s-so good f-or me." 

That pushed you to your climax, falling into him and moaning into his neck as you dug your nails into his back. You felt Killer's grip tighten on your hips, rutting up into you with a more erratic pace until he came with a grunt. Your hips rocked into his slowly, until you felt him stop twitching inside you. You sighed and turned your head on his shoulder to look at him while his hand drifted lazily over the soft skin of your back. You sat up and gave him another kiss before getting off him to clean up. 

Wordlessly, you both put clothes on, adjusting each other's clothes and hair to mask the freshly fucked appearance that you both had. It was easy for him. He could wear his helmet. For you, the flush in your cheeks carried on as you helped Killer with breakfast. Every time Killer looked at you, with your face like that, his heart skipped. When he felt the scratches on his back sting, he thought of all the sweet sounds from that morning. 

That felt so much different from the other encounters you had on the ship, even the ones that Killer participated in. It felt... tender? Loving? It made a fire erupt in your chest. It made your stomach churn. For the rest of the day, you couldn't look him in the face, for if you did, a big goofy smile would threaten to appear and all you could see was his sparkling blue eyes staring at you, filled with emotion. What did it mean? 

Even Kid noticed the weird atmosphere between the two of you, pointing it out during breakfast. You had moved spots lately from sitting with the girls to sitting with the officers, sometimes at Kid's request, sometimes of your own accord. 

"Fuck is up with the two of ya?" Kid spoke through a mouthful of eggs. "Thought ya would be in a good mood from all the noise coming from yer cabin this morning, Kil." 

Killer shot him a look through the holes in his mask. 

"Oh so you can't get up with the sound of your own name being called, but you're suddenly the world's lightest sleeper if food or sex is involved?" You rolled your eyes.

Kid looked at you like you were stupid. "Aye. Those are my two highest priorities." He glanced at his empty plate and back at you. "So how bout ya help me with the second one." 

"Get bent." You grabbed his empty plate and your own to put them up.

You spent most of the day doing deck chores. When you finished them, you decided to work on how you could manipulate your power so that you could travel. You probably had the capability to create wings, though without experimenting, you didn't want to risk it, because you didn't want to fuck up your own body by accident. You couldn't create something from nothing either. Air had particles of water in it. Maybe you could condense the water to form a solid platform to step on. You concentrated until you could see droplets forming in the air in front of you. If this didn't work you would have to try learning how to moon step.

It took a long time for enough droplets to form a small square. It wasn't very high off the ground. You took an experimental step; it worked. You created another step, and another, and another. You would have to practice until you could make them effortlessly, because each one took way too long to make. You looked down; you had gone much higher up than you intended. It's fine. I'm fine. Intrusive thoughts would win today. But what if I fall? The thought banished your platforms from existence. 

"Fuck!" You fell toward the deck. Please someone catch me. Please catch me. I don't want a broken back today. You squeezed your eyes shut and tried to relax your body, tensing would only cause more damage. You thought Kid would catch you with his big purple hamster ball so you would float nicely above the deck. The falling sensation stopped, yet you remained in the air. Upon opening your eyes, you were floating just above the deck. You felt incredibly undignified, yelling and falling, now spinning around in this stupid fucking orb. You caught sight of Kid, who had no doubt come to see what the ruckus was about. "Well? put me down already."

"Doll, I'm not doing that." He was mesmerized by whatever was happening around you. 

"What?!" You started floating around more erratically. "That's not fucking funny, Kid." More people had gathered to see what was going on. 

"I swear on the one piece. It ain't me." Kid could feel a strong magnetic energy coming from you, but it wasn't regular. It was very uncontrolled, erratic. "Yer doing that." 

You saw now that this thing surrounding you was yellow, not purple like Kid's power. You didn't even know how you did it or what you were doing. Sure you imagined Kid's magnetic field, but as far as you knew, you couldn't manipulate anything like that. "How do I get out?"

Heat moved to pull you from the orb but Kid quickly stopped him. "Don't touch it." Kid could tell from the chaotic energy crackling around, nothing good would come of making contact. If it was emitting magnetism in a regular field, he could have countered it. The irregularity and unpredictability of the field mad bit impossible. Plus, he didn't know what would happen to you inside it. "Ya gotta figure that out on yer own."

If you were imagining being caught by Kid in a ball, and still trying to conjure up dense particles to stand on, maybe you created a ball of condensed air particles. You didn't know much about physics. If you had, you would know that you had accidentally created a sort of plasma by bringing all the particles together in such high density, in turn disturbing the atoms and releasing large amounts of energy that only made the matter around you more unstable. And in doing so, made a solid-like protective orb around yourself. You started imagining the opposite, the particles spreading back out and dissolving into the background atmosphere. You willed your feet to be on the deck. 

It did not dissipate quietly. There was a flash and a sudden release of intense heat, almost like a ball of lightning, followed by a rumbling shockwave of thunder. Nonetheless, you were dropped to the deck on your ass, mostly unharmed, only tired. 

Kid squatted down in front of you. "Let's not do that on the ship again, ok, doll?" The instability of whatever you just did scared him. That was enough energy to rip apart the boat if you lost control of it. He was also very intrigued by it. If he could build something to channel that same energy, he could turn it into a power source, or better yet, a weapon. He offered his hand to you, pulling you up with him when he stood up. "Come with me. I wanna show ya somethin."

"I swear to god if it's your dick, Eustass." 

"No!" He pulled his hand away, suddenly aware that it was still holding yours. "I think about stuff besides sex ya know." 

"With that big, heavy brain of yours."

"Damn right!" 

Kid predictably led you to his workshop. He dug around, moving a bunch of scraps, before pulling out something leather and metal. He held it up so you could see it. 

"Is that...?" 

"When ya called me a dog, it gave me an idea. Ya keep tryna run away, so I gotta make sure ya don't get far."

"I thought you said this wasn't a sex thing."

"Very telling, that yer thinking of it like that."

You rolled your eyes. "Shut up, Kid."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Can I put it on ya?"

"Oh... Didn't think I had a choice." You might as well let him. You kinda liked it.

Kid shrugged, maybe a hint of pink on his cheeks. "I'm a nice guy like that."

"Okay." You turned around and moved your hair out of the way. "I'll play along."

Kid knew you would like it. You acted like you were indifferent, but he could tell you wanted to wear it. It was obvious you liked things around your neck and you liked when someone else was in control. Now you would look more like a Kid Pirate, too. Kid had made you a black leather collar with "Rotten" on the tag, small spikes studded around it. He held something reflective up so you could see what it looked like on, flipping the tag around so you could see what was written on the other side: If found, return to Kid Pirates.

That made you snort, yet made you feel more comfortable on the crew. It was very well crafted. You were surprised that he could make something so nice in a short amount of time. You turned slightly to see it from different angles. "It's alright." 

Kid tossed the metal aside and turned you back around. "Whatever. I know ya love it." He took the tag between his fingers and smirked. He pulled you with his devil fruit, closer to himself. He frowned when he saw you wince. There was something responding to his magnetism that wasn't your collar, or figuratively He felt bad that he hadn't noticed it earlier. "Did you get shot?!"

"Oh yeah. I did. Sort of forgot in all the action." You could feel the bullet fragments shift with the magnetism and it wasn't comfortable. 

"What do ya mean ya fucking forgot!?" 

"I can't feel them or anything."

"What if I accidentally ripped them out of ya!" 

"That would have been inconvenient."

"Yer fuckin insane." 

"But that's why you like me so much." You jingled the tag on your new accessory. "Which is also why you're gonna help me take them out.... Not like the first time though." You remembered the time he helped with the bullet fragments in your leg. This situation was more dangerous and decidedly less sexy. You had to focus on not allowing yourself to bleed internally. 

Kid made a face. "Can't Killer do it?" 

"Yeah sure. Did he learn to manipulate metal recently?" 

Kid groaned, kind of similar to how a child groans when they don't want to do chores.

You thought it was a bit strange that he was this reluctant. "What? You don't want to help me?" 

"No. Not- That's not it."

You weren't going to force him to help. "Ok. Fine. You don't have to. I'll have to dig around myself." You shrugged. It would be a lot easier and faster if Kid zipped the fragments out. 

Kid felt his face get hot. "I want ta help, okay?" He was fighting himself. "I... don't want to hurt ya, though."

"Kid, please." You rolled your eyes. "When have you ever cared about hurting me or not?" 

"Don't do that." Kid's voice became more stern. "Ya know what the circumstances were." Kid paused. "Ya hurt me, too." 

You hummed, contemplating. "That's fair." You held out your hand. "Truce. I won't try to kill you again if you return the favor."

Kid shook your hand. "Truce."

"Cuz I would have beat you the next time and I wouldn't want Killer to be sad." 

Kid pulled your hand and jerked you towards himself, caging you against him with his metal arm. "Ya think so, brat?" Kid smirked at you. "I would have let ya win. Cuz Killer really likes his little kitchen whore."

"It's called a sous chef." You raised an eyebrow. "Good thing we called truce then. For Killer's sake." 

"For Killer's sake," he agreed. 

There was a certain tension in the air.

Next Chapter

[spellbook-gayboy]

❣️ and 🎁 for ian and kyle!!

🎲🎲 to any two canon characters of your choosing ~

🔮🪄:

❣️- What are their love languages?

Ian’s love language, to put it simply, is acts of service. If he likes someone, he does everything he can for them in a show of usefulness and dedication (the first part partially related to his childhood trauma and self-esteem issues, though he’ll never admit it). Usually, this takes the form of things like cooking for them, caring an almost obsessive amount when they get ill, offering to do the work they were going to do, etc. He’s got issues, but he tries, y’know? 

🎁- How do they feel about their birthday/birthdays in general?

Birthdays are a bit of a mixed bag for Ian. Overall, he likes them, though he does sometimes to struggle the concept. For his, he treats it less as a celebration and more as a measure for passing the years, marking down every year further from his past. As he gets older, however, he does start to appreciate in line with him slowly letting go of his past and learning to value his time. 

🦅🛡:

❣- What are their love languages? 

Kyle is an old man, so it makes sense that his style of romance would fit the period and culture he comes from (that being rural Irish-German Catholics from the 1920s). He’s not big into the whole ‘courting’ thing, but he thinks it’s important to take things slow, one step at a time so he can make sure his partner is comfortable, which is actually pretty useful when said partner is a stranger to human culture. He’s also pretty serious about marriage, though he doesn’t really care what religious customs (if any) it follows. Finally, he would want to meet their family, as well as introduce them to his.

🎁- How do they feel about their birthday/birthdays in general? 

Kyle at first sees his birthdays much the same way that most people do, as a celebration of the passing of years. But when the decades pass by, and his aging starts to slow (currently he’s over 100 years old but looks about 47), he does start to worry about outliving his friends and family, because anyone would. One incident, however, causes him to change his worldview, making him understand that he needs to appreciate the time he has left with them. They become more of a chance to reflect on his life up to that point, as well as a celebration. 

For the first dice ask, I’ll do Shrinking Rae!

🎲- How well can they cook?

Oh, you have no idea! I believe she’s an amazing cook, to the point that one of the longest-running bits on this blog is that she livestreams a cooking show on Twitch called Recipes with Rae every fortnight or so. She brings on another Guardian as a sous-chef (although 90% of the time, it’s Kate) or sometimes a special guest. At the end of the month, she lets the chat vote on the worst recipe they’ve featured and then feed it to Shapesmith (he always eats it no matter what).

For the second dice ask, I’ll do Monster Girl!

🎲- How do they feel about horror movies?

Cannot get enough of them! Even before she got cursed, she was fearless. Everyone is subconsciously surprised when she doesn’t even flinch at the jumpscares. She treats them more like action movies, constantly going ‘hell yeah, dude!’ and probably rooting for the killer most of the time (which probably ties into her massive Toph Beifong energy).

[uwuwriting]

Momo, Mina, Jirou and Uraraka with a soft, affectionate girlfriend

So there wasn’t only one request for my girls here, there were like five so imma just improvise with the summary here, Basically how the girls would be like with an affectionate and cute/soft girlfriend. Ya know my bi ass has had a crush on Mina since day 1 and Momo can like step on me. I haven’t written anything for our girl squad like ever and that should be a crime. Love ya. 💖💖💖

rules

masterlist

warnings: fluff 

Momo Yaoyorozu

-Soft girl herself. 

-Although she is a straight up dom, her soft girly and flustered side comes out while you two spend time together. 

-She loves your clothes, will literally have a stroke if she sees you in a soft baby pink outfits. 

-You look extra cute and soft and fluffy and oh so kissable. 

-Your bubbly personality scares her insecurities away. 

-Like if she starts doubting herself while you’re around you mind go into killer mode and roundhouse her ass for talking bad about herself. 

-She is really impressed by your emotional switch. 

-I mean she physically sees you being all lovey dovey with her and your friends, the sweetest brightest ray of sunshine that has ever graced this earth and the moment Mineta opens his mouth to say some shit your aura changes. 

-You can almost see the darkness that surrounds you while the grape talks. 

-A savage. 

-Although you are a really feminine individual no one should dare underestimate you. 

-She becomes an extra proud girlfriend when she sees you kick some Bakugou ass because he called you a girly extra.

-Low key scared of your berserk mode but she loves you. 

-Soft dates. 

-She knows you love colorful flowers and you are generally really closely connected with nature so dates to the park or to the cherry blossoms during spring are necessary. 

-Her family loves you. 

-They welcomed you with open arms the very first time you stepped in their home as Momo’s friend. 

-Her mom could see how much her daughter liked you and she shipped it. 

-Her and Mina are your number 1 stans. 

-Expect to be spoiled to death. 

-You glance at a dress while you two are out on a date? 

-Its in your closet the very next day. 

-You bake for her and she falls even deeper in love with you. 

-She’s weak for your cakes and more often than not she will sneak some into her room. 

-Your cuddling powers are out of this world. 

-She will come to your dorm after a long day and just lose herself in your embrace. 

-She only sleeps in your room if you ask her to stay the night. 

-Despite how tired she may be she will pick herself up and drag her feet to her room. 

-All in all a wholesome relationship.

-Soft babiesss 

Mina Ashido

-Ah yes my wife.

-I’m a freaking simp for her. 

-Crack heads.

-Periodt.

-She loves your soft girly aesthetic and even tries to copy your style so you could be matching girlfriends. 

-The pink becomes too much though so she settles for different colors. 

-You propose white and pale green. 

-She takes your advice and goes out the very same day for shopping. 

-Dragging you, Jirou, Sero and Denki along. 

-Your friend group is fed up with how clingy she could be. 

-Like legit she will hang from your arm constantly and will whine if you have to leave her behind because reasons. 

-Bakugou is this close ( -><-) to blasting her into the next dimension. 

-She is a scaredy cat and jumps at the smallest sound. 

-You take that in your advantage and take up the rule as the knight in shining armor. 

-Movie nights are usually horror nights for the two of you and you always puff up your chest in an attempt to appear tough. 

-The pink accessories kinda ruin it though. 

-She finds it funny how you talk about beating someone’s ass while you are wearing a unicorn onesie. 

-She has a matching one though so sh isn’t one to talk. 

-Just like Momo she is scarred of your berserk mode. 

-Not scarred for her life but for the rest of the class. 

-And god forbid Mineta says something about her. 

-She can see the raging flames growing around you as he continues to go on about how hot it must be to be sandwiched between you two. 

-She has to hold you back from bashing his face in. 

-Although if he pushes it too much she lets you go and mayhem ensues. 

-She really enjoys your cooking. 

-Always present when you are baking for two reasons. 

- A) to eat some of the batter because its delicious. 

- B) to tease you and make a mess.

-She tried cooking along side you once but it was a disaster. 

-Her excuse was that you were too pretty so you distracted her. 

-She used salt instead of sugar. 

- “They’re both white baby!!”

- “So is cocaine you dummy.”

- “We have cocaine?”

-Face palm. 

-She won’t leave your room if you begin to cuddle. 

-Begin is a strong word considering she won’t allow you to let her go. 

-So continue suits this situation more. 

-She doesn’t care how you two cuddle as long as she has you in her arms or vice versa. 

-Wrapping her arms around your waist while you study, placing you in her lap while she games with Sero, laying you on top of her so you can fall asleep after a long day or simply holding your hand. 

-She just wants to feel close to you. 

-The closer the better. 

-Says I love you at least three times a day.

-I want my Mina!!!!

Jirou Kyouka

-Music girlfriends.

-She has a whole song dedicated to you. 

-She even sang it during the UA festival. 

-You are really into lofi music and really soft, fluffy songs so she makes you a playlist with her favorite lofi songs. 

-She loves when you hum along with her. 

-She knows you have a good voice but since you don’t feel comfortable singing she doesn’t push it. 

-Stands there and sways along with the rhythm.

-Swears that when you do sing you  become an angel on earth.

-Blinding brightness. 

-Finds it funny how your aesthetics collide. 

-There you are the softy pink fairy full of flowers and sunshine. 

-And next to you stands Jirou, her dark clothes making a big contrast to your baby pink skirt. 

-You adore the difference and make it your mission to dress as brightly as possible making the difference stand out even more. 

-You make her bentos like daily. 

-Really appreciates it. 

-She doesn’t have to wait for lunch. 

-Plus your cooking is wow. 

-She doesn’t really like shopping but will come with you if you want her to. 

-Any time spent with you is enough for her. 

-She spends most of her time at the guitar store lol. 

-You bought her a new guitar for her birthday and you made her cry. 

-It had her initials on it too. 

-You walk to class together every morning and go back to the dorms holding hands. 

-Says a sweet little I love you when you part ways for your training. 

-Scared for her life when you get mad. 

-That sinister smile that spreads across your face when you hear Mineta say something about her boobs is the scariest sight in the whole world. 

-Screw Shigaraki. 

-You can be the new master of evil with that smile.

-You are not violent though so she doesn’t have to hold you back... physically. 

-Your words can be true venom. 

-She has to clam you down before you make Mineta cry. 

-Could kill for your cuddles. 

-Doesn’t like to admit it but she really loves being the little spoon and would just nudge you without speaking.

-You of course get the message and hug your girl. 

-She is surprised by how strong you are. 

-You can lift her while she clinges to your front or back like she weighs nothing. 

-Walks around with Jirou wrapped around your torso like a koala. 

-She loves it, you love it everyone else finds it kinda weird when they spot you but who cares? 

-Spends the night in your dorm regularly. 

-She doesn’t even ask she just falls asleep in your bed, taking all the space and making you squeeze between the wall and her. 

-Lovely little sweethearts. 

Uraraka Ochako

-Um you are being soft together. 

-Soft girlfriends™.

-You share clothes all the time since your aesthetics kinda match. 

-You two can be demons if provoked. 

-A third party has to intervene if someone insults you and you go into protective mode. 

-You both get that dark look in your eyes as you stare down at Mineta. 

-Really she’ll just through him up into the sky and you’ll use your quirk to send him to America. 

-Deku and Iida protect the class from you.

-In general though, when you aren’t being feral beasts sworn to protect the innocent, you are two little angels. 

-Your soft aesthetic completes her perfectly and your caring nature goes hand in hand with her mom-friend tendencies. 

-Caring girlfriends. 

-You babysit Deku together and take care of him when he starts breaking...everything. 

-She really likes training with you. 

-She finds it fun and oh so attractive when you are coming at her. 

-May have a small kink right there. 

-Power play maybe......

-Cooking.Dates!!!!!

-She likes to cook so when she found out that you are amazing in the kitchen she was hooked. 

-You might spend hours and hours just baking sweets and then passing them around the dorms. 

-Like Momo she only stays the night if you ask her or mention having a sleepover. 

-Otherwise she will gather her stuff and go back to her room. 

-Cuddles cuddles cuddles. 

-You are obsessed. 

-She is so soft to the touch and you fall asleep instantly.

-She loves it when you fall asleep on her. 

-You’re like her wittle baby. 

-Holding hands is a must wherever you are. 

-Walking to class? linked pinkies.

-Out on a date? Intertwined fingers.

-Hanging out in the common room watching a movie with the rest of the class? Linked elbows. 

-Chilling in your dorm? An arm around her shoulder. 

-Really touchy in general. 

-Not too touchy though because she respects the others around you. 

-Plus you are friends with Iida.

-He will push you apart if he sees you remotely kissing her cheek. 

-Class 1-A’s favorite couple. 

-So freaking cute omggggg.

TAG TEAM AY:

@iwaqchan​ @the-arcana-fan-fic​ @angelwritings​ @axerrri​ @reinyrei​ @dnarez​

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[good-doctor-imagine]

Scar » one

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Fem!Reader

Summary: You thought you were leaving everything behind when you moved to Derry. Turns out, you were wrong. (soulmate au)

Word Count: 2410

A/N: I’m so excited to post the first part to this! I’ve been writing it for the past couple of days and it’s gotten so long that I decided to split it into a few parts. I hope you all like it! <3

You had no clue why your parents wanted to move to Derry, Maine so abruptly. It wasn't like there was much opportunity in a small town like that. Actually, you did know. Your dad got transferred because of the increase in missing kids cases and the Derry police force needed extra hands. Now that you look at it, you understood the need to move but you couldn't wrap your head around why they would move. You were a kid for God's sake. If there was an increase in missing kids cases, then why would they bring you along?

You tried arguing that your dad should go and work until the cases were solved. Of course, being the thirteen-year-old you were, they wouldn't listen to your argument. Instead, they insured you that you were in good hands, your father was a police officer and the whole town had a 7 pm curfew to ensure the safety of its citizens.

Scoffing, you went back to your room, slamming the door behind you to show your disappointment. It was August, right before you started school again. The summer was spent outside with your friends, riding bikes until the sun set, splashing in rivers until you were soaked. Nothing could have prepared you for the sudden goodbye. You tried not to show your heartbreak as you hugged your best friend for the last time, holding each other for what seemed like hours.

To put it lightly, you were pissed. You didn't even attempt to hide your disappointment in the backseat of your dad's Ford Sierra, giving short answers every time your parents asked you a question. It took so much of you not to roll your eyes when your dad told you to behave. Sure, you were being a brat, but your life was ripped away from you in a matter of 3 days. Three days ago your parents told you were moving. Two days ago you said goodbye to some of your closest friends. One day ago, you were packing your bags, your best friend helping you pack the most valuable items that you've accumulated over the years. Birthday gifts, goofy polaroids, and treasured memories were being stuffed into containers, turning into just some cherished moments of your life.

Now, you were on the road to start your new life. You didn't want a new life, all you wanted was to go back home and spend time with your friends. As you sat in the back seat, your head rested on your right hand. Subconsciously, your gaze traveled to the inside of your left hand. There was a scar that showed up a few days ago, a long jagged mark across the palm of your hand. The moment you saw it, you knew it was from your soulmate. You tried to recall what happened that day, wondering if you slid your hand on a rock and scratched it, but you never remembered the pain. Your skin wasn't bothered either, it was just a dark mark across your skin.

A part of you was relieved knowing that your soulmate was there. Besides the scar on your left hand, there was nothing on your body to show you that your soulmate existed. Some days you wondered if you even had a soulmate. When you were little, you would search for any tiny mark you could, determined to find a mark that showed you that they were there. After a while, you gave up. You thought if they didn't have a scar now, then you probably didn't have a soulmate.

All of your friends had scars as well. Whether it was from your intense playing and skidding on rocks or just plain roughhousing, everyone had a scar from something. You even had one.

It was easy to miss unless you were looking closely. Being the rambunctious and rebellious toddler you were, you didn't listen to your parents whenever they told you to stop. Before you knew it, a piece of glass from a wine glass your mom dropped a few seconds earlier was buried in the bottom of your foot. Although it was pretty light, a line was drawn on the center of your foot, a permanent marker of your rebellious action.

Being able to see your soulmate's scar was comforting and nerve-racking. The conflicting emotions made your head spin. One part of you was so elated that there was confirmation that you had a soulmate. The other part of you was anxious that you just left your soulmate. Ever since you were a child, you would create scenarios where you would find your soulmate outside your house one day. In one scenario, they were your new neighbor, knocking on your front door to introduce themselves. In another, they ran into you as you were biking with your friend. Your favorite scenario was meeting your soulmate in the arcade, your relationship starting with a friendly competition. Since you were little, you convinced yourself that your soulmate was back home. Your soulmate was waiting for you back in (Hometown). You balled your left hand into a fist, covering the scar from your view. It was too painful to look at.

When you went to go tell your parents about your newfound scar, a huge grin adorning your face, they told you that you had to move. Before you knew it, your grin fell and disbelief surrounded your whole body. You were just overjoyed knowing that your soulmate was actually alive, but now a sense of dread filled your body. Saying goodbye to all your friends, memories, dreams, and all for what? Your dad's job transfer?

You couldn't have hated the road trip more, clenching your hand into a fist as your parents sat in the front seat, their own hands entwined on the center console.

Richie was a toddler when he attained his first scar. His parents were shocked when they looked at the bottom of his right foot, finding a line etched on his skin. At first, they thought it was some sort of marker that Richie used on his skin but it didn't disappear when they tried to wash it off. Then, they asked their son if he stepped on something sharp while they were at work. Richie shook his head, his mouth slightly hung open in confusion.

Then, it clicked into their minds. Richie's soulmate must have cut their foot somehow. Of course, they would explain it to him later. Trying to explain soulmates to a toddler was not something they wanted to get involved with.

When Richie was 7, his parents finally explained the concept of soulmates to him. They told him about the scar on his foot and how his soulmate would have the same mark. Richie found it a bit weird that soulmates existed, his second-grade mind not able to grasp the concept of loving someone yet. Hell, some boys in his class still believed that girls had cooties. As Richie aged up, he began to understand the concept of soulmates even more. Popular TV shows and movies would contain soulmates, often between two best friends that didn't know they were connected in that way until one of them got injured. People at school started to pay more attention to the marks on their bodies, searching each other for the familiar marks with the hope of finding their other half.

Richie never tried that hard to search for his soulmate. He couldn't exactly go up to someone and say "Let me see the bottom of your feet". He knew that finding his soulmate would be a challenge but he didn't mind that much. He was 13 and wasn't interested in the concept of love. He was too busy entertaining himself with Street Fighter, not to mention the killer clown that he and his friends defeated that summer. The last thing that was on his mind was his soulmate.

All of the losers knew about his soulmate's scar, they all saw it from their frequent visits to the quarry. Eddie and Beverly liked to tease him about it, asking him if he had some kind of foot fetish. Richie ignored their comments and bit back at them. He wasn't bothered by his soulmate's mark and, in fact, he would often forget about it. It wasn't like he could look at it every day, it was on the bottom of his foot and he didn't have much flexibility.

After the defeat of the killer clown, Richie dedicated himself to his game Street Fighter, determined to exceed his highest score from last year. Eddie would join him every few days before complaining about Richie's obsession. Tired of Richie's lack of attention, Eddie decided that he wasn't going to the arcade with Richie that day. Instead, he was going birdwatching with Stanley. Richie didn't hold back his complaints, calling the popular hobby incredibly boring. Eddie wasn't bothered by his words, leaving Richie by himself at the arcade machine.

Your mom kicked you out of the house, giving you some money before sending you out the front door. She was bothered by you spending the rest of your summer indoors so she told you to go out and make some friends. Your mood was sour as you grabbed your bike from the driveway. You remembered passing by an arcade on the way here and decided that it would be the perfect place to go. You could spend your money, play some games, and convince your mom that you made some friends (even if you didn't).

Taking a step in the arcade, you looked around at the people occupying the machines. There weren't that many given the small space. Walking over to the quarter machine, you put in a five dollar bill to get some change. While it was spitting out some coins, you took the time to look at your options. There were a few machines across the wall: a pacman machine, a rampage machine, and a popcorn machine stuffed into the corner. What caught your eye was the Street Fighter machine in the middle of the arcade but there was already a boy occupying it. Taking your quarters out of the machine, you stood back for a while, waiting for the kid to leave the game.

One minute turned to five, then to ten, then to fifteen. By this point, you were getting annoyed. The boy was constantly replaying, entering quarter after quarter to start a new game. Right before he put in the next quarter, you came up behind him and spoke up, your voice sharp.

"Can you move on already? There's other people in the arcade too."

The boy turned around with furrowed eyebrows, his squinted eyes magnified by the large glasses resting on his nose. "You talkin' to me?"

You scoffed, folding your arms in front of you. "Who else would I be talking to? You're the only one hogging a machine."

Richie took a few quick glances around the arcade before turning his focus back onto you. "Looks like there's other games open still, sugar."

Your eyebrow twitched at the nickname but you held yourself back from snapping at him. "Well, I want to play this game."

Richie smirked at you before gesturing to the game screen in front of him. "See this, sugar?" He pointed to the high score on the screen, "This is my high score. Unless you can do better, I suggest you go play some other game." Ignoring his comment, you pushed next to him, entering your own quarter in the game. "H-Hey did you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," You responded, shooting him a fake smile. "Now are you going to play or what?" You gestured to the second set of controls.

Richie's frown turned into a smirk, the corner of his lip tipping upwards. "You're on, sugar."

All you could hear was the jamming of buttons and the occasional groan from your opponent. Your focus was on the game, determined to defeat the arrogant boy that stood next to you. You won the first round, making Richie grumble in disappointment. When he won the second round, he let out a victorious shout.

"You need to be faster than that to defeat me."

You rolled your eyes at his comment, stretching out your fingers to get ready for the next round. "There's one more round, you haven't won yet."

Richie bit his lip, concentrating on the combat game in front of him. He couldn't let this girl defeat him, not at his favorite game. Unfortunately, his health started to drain as you jammed the buttons, fingers working tirelessly to defeat the arrogant prick. Richie also got your health down pretty low, but it wasn't enough. With one final hit, you were able to knock down his character.

Mouth turned down in disappointment, he stared at the screen with hard eyes. Your mouth was turned up into a grin, feeling victorious as you got to enter your name into the screen.

"Best out of three?" Richie offered, looking at you with pleading eyes.

"Sure," You complied, "But you have to pay since you lost."

The two of you lost count of the score by the tenth game, the loser having to pay for the next round. The game kept going and before you knew it, it was already 5:30.

"Sorry I have to go," You spoke up before Richie could insert the next quarter, "My mom will kill me if I'm late to dinner."

Richie's grin faltered, looking over at the girl next to him. He had such a good time with you that he even lost track of time. For some reason, he wished he could pause time just so you could keep playing. He liked having someone as competition. Eddie was a good friend and he did play the game with him, but he wasn't much competition. Richie was bound to win every round. With you, however, there was a challenge to it. He would win a few rounds and you would win a few rounds. You were both testing each other's skills.

"Oh," Richie finally spoke, the hand holding the quarter slowly dropping, "Will you be here tomorrow?"

Your eyebrows drew in slightly at his question before giving him a few pats on the shoulder. "Yeah, I can play a few rounds tomorrow."

two

Masterlist

[hangonimevolving]

Week 12-ish at home

Hello all!  Here in Florida, many aspects of quarantine life are purportedly starting to change “out there,” in the world.  In-house restaurant dining, salons, and misc businesses opened up a few weeks ago.  And this week, on June 1st, even more businesses began normal operations - children’s day cares, for example.  The beaches have opened.  Public parks are open, although there are restrictions on playground equipment, etc.  Most businesses have certain rules and restrictions in place, e.g. social distancing and mask usage.  But yep, they’re open.

However, our family is NOT :)  We have decided to act like nothing’s changed, at least for now - we would like to observe and see how things go “out there,” if the virus stays at a plateau in terms of numbers infected, etc., or if there is an upsurge.  If there is an upsurge, we are concerned with seeing how severe or widespread it might get.  In short - its too early for us.  We have too many factors to consider in terms of immune issues, family members with multiple risk factors, etc.  So, we continue on, living and learning within our own family unit.  And thankfully for us - this is not a huge deal.  Sure, we have our moments where we wish we could do regular things, like go hang around at a mall or a movie theater, or go visit a public playground.  Oh, how we miss eating out.  We REALLY miss seeing friends and having playdates - that part is hard.  But - its okay.  It won’t be forever.

So what are we doing these days?

I made air plant terrarium globes, and hung them around our breakfast area:

Vev participated in the virtual science fair through school, with his experiment on liquids, viscosity, and cohesion.  We tested out water, soda water, and oil.  I think he learned a good amount in the process!

We were excited when the U.S. Navy Blue Angels did a flyover in the South Florida region - and we got a killer view of the fighter jets as they zoomed over our backyard!!!

(Okay, I realize this picture isn’t that impressive - the Blue Angels are those series of dots on the blue part of the sky, surrounded by clouds.  But trust me, watching them tear across the sky in that formation was awesome).

There’s been more pancake art...

We attended a really touching event a few weeks back - a five-year-old boy in our community is undergoing treatment for a terminal brain tumor.  The entire community banded together, and threw him a socially-distanced celebration: a birthday parade comprised of fully-restored vintage cars and fancy, souped up muscle cars and vehicles.  It was an awesome, meaningful, and poignant event.

On April 30th, I finally faced the reality that quarantine snacking was getting the better of me.  I knew I had to make a change.  So I went keto on May 1st, and kept it up for 30 days.  It was honestly super hard.  But I pulled through.  There was a lot of eating like this.....

ramen soup with shirataki noodles

and.... basically just a ton of omelets.

I need to write an entire post - more like, a continuing series of posts - about how IN LOVE I am with my new Cricut Maker.  I am OBSESSED with this marvelous contraption, and have thoroughly been enjoying my time with it while at home.  I have made a couple of things thus far, and I can’t wait to show them to you.  But by way of a teaser - here are some koala and panda-themed sleep masks I made for the kids....

And here is a little bandana bib I made for Pixel, who actually seemed to enjoy wearing it!

Pixel acquired a new perch in our home.  For some reason, out of all the myriad cat beds we have bought her (memory foam, regular foam, fuzzy plush material, microfiber, etc.), her preferred toys and beds are all the ones made of corrugated cardboard. I have never quite understood why she’s so crazy about it - it looks, to my meager human eye, like a hard, cheap, NOT warm and fuzzy place to hang out.  But, she’s crazy about it.  So, I recently bought her this.

Based on the fact that she’s hardly moved from this spot in a month, except to eat 11 billion times a day - I’d say I have gotten my $12 worth already.

On the topics of cats, and crafting - my good friend Y had been telling me about her kitty and how he’s become the “loyal coworker,” since she and her family are all telecommuting these days for their jobs.  Apparently, Shams the cat perches on her cardiologist father’s desk, and oversees his daily rounds using telemedicine apps to check on his patients.  I decided to make Shams an appropriate coworker type outfit.  And again, yet another cat has surprised us by happily wearing the ridiculous outfits we humans are making for them!

What a handsome gentleman :)

What else.... ah, so Mother’s Day came along, with its customary breakfast in bed for yours truly, delivered by some other handsome gentlemen I know.

Dr. Spouse elected to disregard my keto diet, and prepare me a tasty meal of refined carbs - which I hungrily guzzled in appreciation.

Last but not least, for this post anyway - I ran my first��“virtual race,” which is this deal where you pay a registration fee and are sent a race bib, shirt, and medal, but its sort of an honor system where you run the race/distance and then post to social media if you wish.  I ran a race called the “Crush Corona 5K”.  The experience of virtual racing was great.  My actual run on that day was surprisingly rough!  I left my house way later than my ordinary running time, and it was an extraordinarily hot day... I totally overheated, and between being carb-starved on the keto diet and also seriously premenstrual (sorry, TMI) - I was really glad when the run was done.  Oh well!  The proceeds of my race benefitted a good cause - a fund for healthcare and essential workers who have been on the front lines of the Coronavirus pandemic.  And bigger picture, I dedicated my race to my “Run Buchandi Run” race series which has been raising funds for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research.  I also ran in memory of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd, and the missions of the #blacklivesmatter movement to end systemic racism generally, and police brutality against African Americans specifically.  

Multiple missions and causes, same heart.  They all overlap after all - we are all connected humans, and despite this, minorities in this country are not appreciated for being essential to our society, are also at higher risk of most health conditions, and have to live in fear of unjust targeting by law enforcement and other systems.  I believe it’s possible for us to make our personal efforts in the service of building awareness of this entire network of issues.  My heart - and my legs! - worked in service of this.

[stagekiller]

Meme || selectively accepting || @feltcalling

  There was a time when Arkham tried to sign Jerome up for actual therapy  ( spoiler: the therapist in charge was committed to Wing B a few months later ). During that time one of the things the therapists noted were Jerome’s obsessions. And of course, judging from the ‘art’ he’s made of him & Bruce, as well as the various pages of his diary dedicated to writing about how he wants to maim billionaire-boy, they had to look into that as well. After seeing how deep the fixation ran, they called Bruce & presented him with their evidence, the drawings Jerome makes of them together, the ‘letters’ he likes to write to Bruce ( which mostly consist of really creepy pick up lines ) etc etc etc. They only meant to warn the boy but it must have been a rather traumatizing experience.

  Jerome knows about Bruce’s attempt to murder his parents’ killer. He’s found out through Jeri, who is devoted to him & part of his cult. Finding out about this fueled Jerome’s belief that he and Bruce are ‘connected’ through the darkness inside of them even further. He later learned, again from Jeri, that Bruce never went through with the killing, which is fortunate-  because clownman would LOVE to be his FIRST :D

 Jerome’s cell in Arkham has an abundance of newspaper cutouts, a lot of which are actually from the time he was dead. Some of them involve around Bruce’s binge & also the Wayne family backstory. A picture of Bruce’s face with the same makeup he’d been into on that fateful day at the carnival is taped to his wall. Of course, Arkham’s staff wouldn’t dare touch his things, so, as long as they can’t be weaponized, he’s allowed to decorate his space however he pleases.

   Another thing Jerome has found out through the press is Bruce’s birthday. And, of course, he had to show his FAVORITE rich brat some love & send him a birthday card. Arkham’s staff wouldn’t stand for it at first, but Jerome riled up his crowd into a riot that resulted in said card being delivered to Wayne Manor the next day. Jerome made sure to add a little apology that it’s one day late at the bottom. The card involved a piece of his hair, a drawing of Bruce crying in front of a smiling reflection of himself & letter cut outs that wished him happy birthday and to live until next year.

 Jester ! Verse under the cut :

   After breaking Bruce, Jerome’s firsts ‘tests’ for him revolved around violently mutilating people included, but not limited to, his own cultists. He kept gradually lowering the bar, until he asked Bruce to kill some twelve year from the Narrows. Bruce had initially hesitated and refused, but Jerome kept pressing him, even threatening that he would leave Bruce behind ( which, for the Jester is worse than death at this point ). The former billionaire finally caved at that. Jerome rewarded him with a night out at the nightclub he associates with.

  Speaking of which, Jerome often takes Bruce to Jeri’s nightclub, letting him party & pushing him to binge. Jeri, upon first seeing the boy return was mildly puzzled. Some might say she seemed disappointed. However she also encourages bad behavior from Bruce, even allowing him to pick fights at her club.

  Bruce & Jerome usually sleep on the same bed. Jerome only sleeps for 3-4 hours at a time and won’t allow Bruce an actual sleeping schedule either, instead keeping him powered with drugs & questionable substances. When they sleep, Jerome’s left hand will usually be resting somewhere near Bruce, feeling for his presence. During their first weeks after Bruce was converted, Jerome would handcuff him to the bed or to himself to make sure he wouldn’t ‘change his mind’ in the middle of the night ( someone he is fixated with running off on him in the middle of the night brings back BAD memories, doesn’t it )

  Bruce is the only one in the entire Cult who has beat Jerome at a game of poker. When he won the cultists watching them were expecting Jerome to be angry, but instead of lashing out or even seeming upset, Jerome shook Jester’s hand with a cold expression. And then he flipped the table over and stormed off.

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

Fall for You

A/N: Thank you, loves, for dealing with me and my laptop problems! I am trying really hard to get everything written and re-written (from the ones I lost)! It’s just been very busy these past few months! Anyways, enjoy! (Side note: I am Minnesotan, and the cabin is based off of my friend’s cabin! And this actually happened to me, because her puppy was a hyper little shit!)

Also, happy birthday (last Saturday) to @glitterquadricorn !! This is dedicated to you! Hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Soulmates are born with the tattoo of their significant other’s name over their heart.

Word Count: 4200ish (Holy shit this is so long LOL)

Masterlist

James Buchanan Barnes

Ever since I was a baby, my parents covered up the fact that I had a soulmate. I was never allowed to be babysat with the fear that someone would see the name scrawled across my little baby chest. When I was old enough to understand what the words on my chest meant, I was forced into hiding it – never to tell anybody that I had someone destined to be with me.

A supposedly dead someone.

When I was fifteen, I found the real reason my parents were so obsessed with hiding the name.

My parents were HYDRA.

They knew that Bucky Barnes – the man that I had learned about in the history books, the man whose name was tattooed over my heart, the man that was not allowed to be talked about in our household, and my parents’ killer – was The Winter Soldier. Not that they ever told me the truth, before their deaths. I was kept in the dark, my entire life. I was never aware that my famous soulmate was actually alive.

They took that secret to their graves.

I had been at school when it happened. I was standing in the lunch line with a few of my friends, chatting, when the principal and the freaking Secretary to the World Security Council – Alexander Pierce – pulled me out of lunch with grim looks on their faces. I had wondered if they had found out the name over my heart, but that was not the case. Instead, they pulled me into a room with a grief counselor and told me the news: my parents had been murdered.

I had no idea why Alexander Pierce – of all people – was there to tell me my parents had died, but I had been so consumed with grief that I had just brushed the thought aside.

I was not old enough to get emancipated, so I was sent to Minnesota to live with my grandparents. My grandparents had no clue that their daughter and son-in-law had been involved in something horrible like HYDRA. I didn’t even know, until a SHIELD army showed up at our home to question us. They thought that I would know something – anything – that could lead them to HYDRA, or The Winter Soldier.

There was nothing I could do.

My grandparents held a strong resentment towards my parents, after that. I did, as well, but they held on to that resentment until the day that they both died. Car accident. My grandfather had a stroke at the wheel and they had crashed. I had been staying at my cousin’s house for a wine and movie marathon, and got the call in the middle of the night.

More funerals. More loss. More pain.

My heart was broken.

I ended up coming into a lot of money, after that. My parents’ life insurance and my grandparents’ life insurance money all went to me. Way too much blood money for me. My cousin, Makayla, and I had decided to move in together, after that. She wanted to keep an eye on me, and I wanted someone who understood some of the pain that I was feeling. After all, those were her grandparents, too.

Makayla and I had moved into the cabin, which was nicer than most houses. It was more of a lake home, than a cabin, but she refused to call it anything else. She loved the thought of having a cabin on one of the many lakes in Minnesota. It was beautiful. Two stories, wrap around porch, deck coming off the porch, and a beautiful view of Moccasin Lake.

Once we had lived together for a while, I sat her down and told her everything that had happened with my parents. We talked about how I had learned that The Winter Soldier murdered them, when I moved in with our grandparents, how they resented my parents, and how my parents were actually bad people.

I had never realized, but I had held a lot of resentment towards them, as well. They were not supposed to die like that. They were never supposed to turn out as bad people. We were supposed to be the happy family that they convinced me we were. They were supposed to live long, full lives and I was supposed to meet my soulmate and have their grandchildren, and they were supposed to grow old.

“Haven’t you been keeping up with the news?” Makayla had said, eyebrows furrowed with concern, “They released a bunch of files on SHIELD and HYDRA. We could look at your parents’ files. Or files on The Winter Soldier.”

I hadn’t been keeping up, but after splitting 2 bottles of wine with her, we had decided to grab my laptop and start Googling.

“I- I can’t fucking read this.” I sniffed, tears streaming down my face as I stared at a file that contained photographs of my parents… In HYDRA uniforms.

“Well, do you want to see his file?” She asked, rubbing my shoulder in comfort. “The Winter Soldier’s file?”

I knew it would be a bad idea. I should have never Googled it.

James Buchannan Barnes.

My supposedly dead fucking soulmate was him.

He was The Winter Soldier.

The man who killed my family.

I had burst into tears. Makayla had no idea I had a soulmate. No one but my parents, and my grandparents, had known. After my initial break-down, I had to tell her.

“I cannot even begin to fathom what you are feeling right now, Y/n.” She sighed, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, “Do you want to stop?”

“No.” I sniffed, wiping under my eyes, “I need to know.”

I was not expecting what I had found. My heart broke. He was tortured. His mind was messed with so badly that he couldn’t even remember his own name.

The videos were awful. I could barely stomach watching them, but I couldn’t look away.

I had seen his picture many times, throughout my life. He was famous, after all. This man… The Winter Soldier… He was a broken shell of the man that I had learned about in all of my history classes. Gone was the man who had fought bravely in the war - alongside his best friend, Captain America. Instead, he was beaten into submission, broken, and controlled.

He didn’t even know he had me. His tattoo was practically gone. I could faintly see the first letter of my name, from his tattoo, but the rest was torn away. It had been replaced by the metal covering his shoulder and replacing his arm.

He didn’t know my name, anymore.

That was the moment I had decided to forgive him. The Winter Soldier was not my soulmate. James Barnes was my soulmate. Bucky. I just hoped that he was okay…

Makayla and I never talked about what we found. I couldn’t talk about it.

After that, I started keeping up with the news. I saw him a lot. Especially when he was a wanted fugitive after The Sokovian Accords. There was a lot of negative talk about him, and it had started to make me mad. I had forgiven him for my parents, why couldn’t other people forgive him, as well?

A year after Bucky went missing, he was spotted at The Avengers Tower. Apparently things had blown over. For the most part, at least. I could accept that. I just had to accept that I would never meet him. There was no way. He was too famous, and I wasn’t sure if he would even believe me. By then, I had come to terms that I was going to be alone for the rest of my life.

About two years after shit had blown over, fate decided that enough was enough.

I was mowing the lawn, and some man had stopped by, informing us that we had to sign Non-Disclosure Agreements about some people who had bought the abandoned cabin next door that shared a driveway with us. Not really caring about who they were, Makayla and I had signed the agreement.

I was shocked when I saw a team of workers completely renovating the cabin the next day.

Two fucking weeks. Two weeks of constant construction. To say that we were pissed was an understatement. Especially when they started working at the ass-crack of dawn, and didn’t stop until the sun was setting. It got worse after Makayla decided to take in her parents’ dog, Jarvis. He was a hyper, six year-old Golden Retriever – that was named after my Aunt’s admiration for Tony Stark. Every time there was a loud noise, he would bark like he was going to die.

It was horrible.

Thankfully, it was peaceful after those two weeks were up. Occasionally, there was voices or some music, but nothing we couldn’t handle. We hadn’t even met them, yet. They were barely ever there.

“Are you going to help me, or not?” Makayla snapped, pulling me from my thoughts. We were just about done staining our deck, and the heat was starting to get to her. It was 85 degrees (F) outside, with the sun beating down on us, and we needed to get it done before we lost the good weather for it to dry. “Why the hell are you wearing rain boots? You look ridiculous. Aren’t your feet on fire?”

“I kept hitting the bucket of stain,” I smiled, brushing one of the last few boards until it was well coated. “I didn’t want to get any more stain on my skin. This shit barely came off, last time.”

She rolled her eyes, continuing the task and slightly dancing to the loud music that was coming from her Bluetooth speaker on the cement porch.

The deck looked marvelous when it was done. It was a pretty big deck, built as an extension to our cement, wrap-around porch. The wood was nice and dark again, and would look nice on those days that we wanted to eat dinner and overlook the lake. The place was paradise.

“Hey, I think the neighbors are here, this weekend. I saw some people sitting on their deck, when I was mowing the lawn, earlier.” Makayla commented, as we put away the stain and brushes, “There’s a bunch of them. I was thinking about baking something and bringing it over there to introduce us. You in?”

“After I jump into the lake and cool down.” I was dying. It was too hot. I missed fall weather when it was 60 degrees and there was a breeze. That was perfect Minnesotan weather. “I’ll take Jarvis down with me, so he can jump in, too.” She waved me off, walking inside.

I found the dog sniffing the bushes in the front yard, and walked down to the dock with him, holding a stick for him to fetch. After a couple throws, Jarvis - spotting a small animal near the drying deck – took off towards the woods.

Stripping off my tank top – so I was just in my bikini and boots – I noticed that the group of people next door were heading to their dock and beach about 50 yards away. Some of them waved, and as I was waving back, I noted – in confusion – that they looked a bit familiar.

My thoughts were broken, though, as Jarvis decided to come running at me full force. He bumped my legs, sending me slapping against the water with a shriek.

Okay, that hurt. Idiot dog.

I kicked my legs to swim up, but was met with a great resistance. My boots were too heavy. What the fuck?! A surge of panic shot through my veins as I realized that my rain boots were full of water and causing my feet to sink into the muck and suction cup my feet in. Pull them off! I reached down and pulled at my legs and boots, trying to separate them. It was no use. The boots were stuck. I was stuck.

The panic was starting to build more and more, as I thrashed around under the water. I could see the surface. I was so close. The lake was not that deep at the end of the dock. I could faintly see the dog standing at the edge of the dock. I could see the sky, vision darkening as I desperately held my breath and tried to reach for the surface.

My chest was burning. A cold panic was setting into my bones. I needed to breathe. I had to, but I couldn’t. I would drown if I did.

I leaned down, clawing at my boots in distress.

Come on! Please! Let my foot go! Please, someone help me! Oh, fuck, this is not good.

There was an underwater explosion as someone had jumped into the water from my dock. I could faintly see somebody large swimming towards me, something glinting in the water catching my eyes as I tried to cover my mouth and nose with both hands, willing myself not to inhale the water. My vision was starting to darken from the lack of oxygen.

I felt large hands try and pull me up, but the boots were really sunk into the muck. The hands moved to my legs, yanking my feet out of the boots – by tearing the rubber – and freeing me. A cold, hard arm wrapped around my body as we shot upwards, towards the light.

As we broke the surface, I could hear the dog barking and people yelling. I choked as air finally filled my lungs. The person pushed me up onto the dock, rolling me onto the solid wood. I rolled to my side, coughing and shivering. A pair of small, warm hands lifted me into a sitting position, wrapping me in my towel that had been hanging from the boat lift.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” A woman’s voice came from my side, thick with a foreign accent.

I nodded, still coughing into my shaking wrist. I opened my eyes, shoving my hair out of my face.

HOLY SHIT!

My eyes widened in shock. The Avengers were crowded onto my dock. The Avengers. That means… I turned, and let out a shriek – startling everyone. BUCKY BARNES IS LITERALLY LESS THAN A FOOT AWAY FROM ME. I slapped my hand over my mouth in shock at my scream. Bucky Barnes was currently dripping wet, wrapped in a towel, staring at me in confusion. He saved me.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked, running his right hand through his wet hair and furrowing his brows.

Before I could answer, I heard Makayla scream from the cabin, “OH MY GOD, Y/N!” She was probably running across the wet deck in a panic, and probably creating foot prints in our hard work. I couldn’t look away from Bucky to look, though. I couldn’t stop looking at his eyes. His icy blue eyes, framed by thick, dark lashes.

He is gorgeous.

Clearing my throat, I tried to speak. “Sorry. Yeah, I’m alright.” I pulled my towel off to dry my hair a little bit. “Now I know why I had to sign the N.D.A.”

A chuckle came from behind me, as someone helped me up. Sam Wilson. “Well, luckily we were here, or this could have been really bad.”

“Y/n!” Makayla was in front of me with a dry towel, and I replaced my sopping wet one with the dry one to scrunch-dry my hair, “Oh my god, thank god you’re okay!” She crossed her arms with a serious look on her face, “I told you those boots were ridiculous.”

After rolling my eyes, I turned to face the group of people standing on the dock, “Sorry you guys had to come to my rescue.”

“Holy shit.” Sam laughed, nudging Steve Rogers, “Well, would you look at that!”

They were all staring at me. More importantly, they were staring at my chest.

My tattoo!

I moved my towel over my chest, cheeks turning red, “Um…” I turned to Bucky, who was staring at me in shock. His eyes were wide, and stance frigid. He looked ready to bolt. “Yeah, about that-”

“No.” Bucky’s voice was sharp, cutting me off.

My heart stopped. No? What does he mean ‘no’? “Excuse me?”

“No. This isn’t happening.” He grabbed my arm, roughly, with his metal hand, “Your tattoo is fake.”

I my jaw locked in anger, a hot rage surging through me. “Who the fuck do you think you are, accusing me of faking my tattoo, like some creep? I didn’t fake this!” I ripped my arm out of his grasp, rejection causing my heart to squeeze, painfully.

His icy eyes flashed with anger, “You’re lying!”

“Go fuck yourself.” I yelled, stomping towards the cabin, leaving the shocked group on the dock.

Unfortunately, Bucky followed me, and I didn’t get very far before he grabbed me and spun me around to face him, “How are you my soulmate?” His voice was laced with venom.

This was not how I had imagined us meeting, at all. This was the complete opposite of what I had imagined. I was not expecting the anger – on either side. “If anyone should be asking that question, it should be me, Winter Soldier!” I screamed, poking him in the solid chest, “Why would I want the man who killed my mom and dad as a soulmate, huh? What fucking sense does that make?” I slapped my hands over my mouth in horror. Oh, god, Y/n. He froze, mouth dropping open. I instantly felt horrible, and tears were threatening to spill over. I looked down to our feet in shame, “Oh, my god. I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing to say.”

“Is it true?” His voice was thick, and I could vaguely see his flesh hand start to shake, “Did- Did I kill your parents?”

“The Winter Soldier did.” I whispered, tears spilling, “Not you. I’m sorry I said that. I didn’t mean it.”

He shook his head, taking a step back from me. Then another. Then, he walked back to the cabin, but not before he could hide a tear that had slipped down his cheek.

My heart hurt so bad, I couldn’t catch my breath. What have I done? Why the fuck would I say something like that? That was so mean… Crap. Would it be more beneficial to talk to him, or to leave him be? It’s not like I really knew him, and I just offended the crap out of him… and probably hurt his heart worse than mine ever hurt.

“Well, that was unexpected.”

Turning, I saw Steve standing a few steps above me, arms crossed. I shook my head, thumb absentmindedly tracing my tattoo. “I’m a shit person.” Tears were still running from my eyes, leaving a hot trail down my cheek. “I want to go after him, but I don’t know if he will want to speak to me.”

“Everyone is going on a boat ride,” He smiled, “I think you guys should talk about… whatever just happened.”

Nodding, I looked down at my attire, “I should probably not have this conversation in a bikini. I’m going to go change, first.”

He let out a small chuckle, “Whenever you’re ready. He’s on the deck.”

I ran by him, yelling out a thanks. There were footprints on the deck, already, so I ran up the stairs on the deck and burst into the cabin. Makayla was still down at the dock, so I stripped on the way to my room.

As I was standing in my shorts and a sports bra, I heard a knock at the front door. What the hell?

Throwing on the first tank top I could find, I ran to the door. Bucky’s silhouette was in the frosted glass of the door – I could see the small glint from the sun shining on his arm and shoulder.

“Bucky?” I opened the door, anxiety burning in my chest, “I was just going to-”

“I’m sorry.” He cut me off, gazing at the script that was exposed at the top of my tank top, “I- I don’t even know what to say about your parents… and my behavior earlier-”

“Bucky. I was a dick, earlier, as well. You don’t need to apologize.” I grabbed his hand, pulling him into the cabin and shutting the door. “As for my parents, I forgave you a long time ago.”

“How?” He asked, letting go of my hand and sitting down on my couch in frustration, “How could you forgive me for that?”

“They were HYDRA.” I admitted, looking down at my feet. I heard his gasp, and I tried to explain quickly, “I didn’t know they were HYDRA. Not until people from SHIELD came knocking at our door to ask questions, but I saw their files when Natasha exposed everything on the web… including stuff about you.” I looked up, my eyes meeting his.

He flinched, shoulders stiffening, “Y-you saw the videos?”

Slowly stepping over to where he was stiffly seated on my couch, I leaned down to crouch in front of his rigid form. He looks so sad. I gently took both of his hands in mine, a small grimace on my face, “I did.” Staring down at his metal hand, I examined the little details carefully, running my fingers over the smooth, cool vibranium. “I am so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that. I forgave you a long time ago.”

He let out a shuddering breath, pulling me up from my crouch and into a hug, wrapping his arms fully around me. My arms wrapped around his waist, face pressed into the warmth of his chest. I could hear the fast thumping of his heart, and feel each shuddering breath fill his lungs. He buried his face into the hair at the top of my head, hot breath warming my scalp.

After a few minutes of silence, his arms loosened a little, “Can I see the tattoo?”

I leaned back, brushing my hair out of the way so he could get a better look at the script. His metal fingers left a cold trail as he gently traced his name that rested under my collarbones, causing goosebumps to spread across my body.

“My tattoo is ruined.” He murmured, continuing to trace his name, “The first letter is the only part that is still there. The rest got ruined.” He reached up, pulling the collar of his shirt down far enough for me to see, “Steve says that I was eager to find you in the 40’s – dating a bunch of dames in hopes that someday it would be you. When I got free from HYDRA… I thought you had died, and I didn’t even remember your name.”

“Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n.” I whispered, bringing my fingers up – cautiously – to touch the small letter of my name.

“It’s a beautiful name.” His eyes were closed as I traced my letter, and running my finger slowly along where the rest of my name should be. “I wish I was able to remember it. Steve remembered your first name, but nothing else.”

“I’m sorry. I should have sought you out. You could have known sooner.”

“Don’t apologize.” He brought his hand up to my cheek, warm flesh tracing along my cheekbone and stopping at my jaw, “I’m happy I finally found you.”

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I stared at his smooth lips. Taking a small chance, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. He responded right away, pulling me closer and burying his flesh hand into my hair. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss. My breath caught in my throat and my arms wrapped themselves up and around his neck, pulling myself as close as I could. This was the greatest moment of my life. I was finally kissing my other half. His soft lips fit perfectly against mine.

Pulling back for air, a small grin made its way to both of our faces as he leaned his forehead against mine, “Even better than I imagined.”

Things were going to look up. In both of our lives.

I was sure of it.

I finally had my other person.

James Buchanan Barnes.

My soulmate.

___

TAGS: (I do forever tags, if you want to join the party! *wink*)

@luckynumber1213  @castellandiangelo @sassyandclassyx @mrsnegan25 @impossiblepizzapeace @glitterquadricorn

[trevorbarre]

Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds 17th. studio album - ‘Ghosteen’

This isn’t an album review; there are plenty of those already out there. I actually waited to get a hard copy of Ghosteen, even though it’s been. available on-line for over a month. As usual, I love product ‘packaging’, in this case the much discussed ‘kitschy’ cover and the enclosed lyric sheet. Cave and his Seeds seventeenth studio outing, taken along with their live and soundtrack material, on top of The Birthday Party and Grinderman, is one more contribution to one of the most significant bodies of work in the rock canon. So, I’d just like to make a short set of observations about Cave and his not-so-merry men.

The key discussion point, for me. is whether it is appropriate to split the Bad Seeds into two periods of productivity; the Blixa Bargeld/Mick Harvey era, and that of the ‘Warren Ellis period’? Harvey, a multi-instrumentalist, and Bargeld, a guitarist who demonstrated a kinship with the techniques of The Birthday Party’s late Rowland S. Howard, formed an obvious linkage to Cave’s first great band. Ellis was a veteran of the Aussie trio The Dirty Three, another multi-instrumentalist, specialising in violin and keyboards, who joined as a junior member of the Seeds in time for 1997′s The Boatman’s Call (which still gets my vote for their greatest work, 12 short songs of immense emotional concision and depth, ‘all killer, no filler’). By the time of Ghosteen, Ellis has become the band’s musical director-in-chief, all keyboard washes and choral backgrounds, church-like in their accompaniment to Cave’s songs of innocence and experience, loss and redemption.

These two proposed incarnations of The Bad Seeds are very different beasts indeed (only Thomas Wydler and Martin Casey remain from the pre-1997 period). It is interesting to follow on-line discussion between Cave obsessives as to the changes that the band has gone through since 1984′s From Her to Eternity. These changes have been gradual and organic. Bargeld left at the cusp of the millenium (the albums of this period, 2001′s No More Shall We Part and Noctorama from 2003 are, coincidentally, the band’s two weakest, imho). Harvey lasted till 2008 and Dig Lazurus Dig!!!, another rather ho-hum affair, which produced few memorable tracks. 2004′s double, Abbatoir Blues/The Lyre of Orpheus (comparable to Tom Waits’s contemporary pairing of Alice and Blood Money?), and 2013′s Push the Sky Away are The Bad Seeds 2.0 most outstanding records for me. None, however, approach The Boatman’s Call, 1996′s Let Love In (which seems to be the dedicated Cave fan’s overall fave, from what I can ascertain) or Tender Prey (1988), my own particular introductory portal into the band’s universe.

Without labouring the point, the death of Cave’s teenage son in 2015 was a caesura of incalculable importance for the music of his band, without even considering its effects on his lyrics. He doesn’t seem to have recorded an up-tempo composition since this tragedy, andante seeming to be the fastest pace that he can consider. As a consequence, both 2016′s Skeleton Tree and now Ghosteen might be emotionally consonant with Cave’s state of being and are albums of remarkably moving maturity, but as works of art they can both be recondite and rather  monolithic. Understandably, Cave’s previously healthy sense of irony and humour have been largely sublimated. The portrait of the naked woman on the cover of Push the Sky Away now appears to be both flippant and pre-lapsarian, from today’s perspective. One can only attempt to empathise with Cave’s loss and Ghosteen is a devastating listen, but inevitably things can never be as they were in musical terms. We can only be grateful that Cave is still as creative as ever, especially as Tom Waits seems to have retired (Bad As Me came out as far back as 2011), the only other rock writer from their generation that can hold a candle up to the quantity and quality of the Australian’s output.

[callmehawkeye]

Watched in 2017

Kids For Cash (2013): It’s easy to sit here as someone without a personal stake in this documentary’s focus, but, what I took away from it is the Luzerne County scandal contained nothing but very human individuals working out their own perspectives and self interests within justice and school systems set up to fail; or those holding office who don’t have proper insight. People fighting shades of grey with black and white theories. Children’s lives were disrupted during peak development years and even though their records were expunged, you can see the damage being impossible to reverse.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003): An introspection of a family in crisis; I believe in the 14 years since this documentary released there’s enough information available for armchair detectives to see through any biases this film presents and displays the depth trauma and denial can go.

The Jinx (2015): A miniseries focused on the life and crimes of Robert Durst where the man himself is interviewed and occasionally forgets he is wearing a hot mic.

Hannibal Buress: Comedy Camisado (2016): A great standup special that made me smile and cackle. Can’t wait to see more of Buress.

Other People (2016): Sure, it’s another cancer movie, but the family relationships and performances make this such a lovely film to watch.

Fences (2016): Play-turned-film about a family in the 1950s and the metaphorical fences they put up to keep each other safe but also to stop from connecting. Lots of great monologues put in by the cast.

Westworld (Season 1): Called all the big twists, but it’s still a great show with wonderful storytelling, scenery, and acting.

The Straight Story (1999): Best film I’ve seen by David Lynch. Poignant and moving.

Suicide Squad (2016): UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’m not much of an original storyline purist, but if there’s a strong story handed to you ready-made on a silver platter -- why make it weaker? Why not attempt to understand the context at all?

American Honey (2016): Gorgeously shot, but I really found the story content to be a bit cliché and done before but better.

Vampire’s Kiss (1989): I don’t know so much about the comedic part of this labeled black comedy when it really comes off as a quite disturbing account of a lonely, mental ill man’s downward spiral. But fun, bizarre, and unique nonetheless. 

Pete’s Dragon (2016): Not the best kid and their dragon story. Not the worst. Not the best Disney remake. Not the worst. Eff gritty reboots. I want the kid to stay with their dragon.

Killer Legends (2014): Documentary uncovering the true stories behind urban legends; the man with a hook for a hand, the babysitter with a call coming from inside the house, poisoned Halloween candy, and a killer birthday party clown.

The Lego Batman Movie (2017): While I liked The Lego Movie, I was more about Batman and how he was voiced by Will Arnett. This movie is a cesspool for in-jokes and references and I was crying nearly the entire time with laughter.

Bridget Jones’s Baby (2016): Oh my god. Oh my god, why.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003): A moving story about three homeless individuals who discover an abandoned baby in the snow around Christmastime. Their search for the mother displays beautiful animation and storytelling.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): I’m so happy the sleeper buzz of the first one got to me a few years ago. I’m so beyond thrilled with the product of this sequel that doesn’t lose its self-awareness and bite.

Train to Busan (2016): Best zombie movie I’ve seen in years and years.

Newsies Musical (2017): A lot of missteps and overacting; but still the lovely show I know and adore with flawless dancing.

Hidden Figures (2016): A film showcasing the overshadowed and overworked women of color NASA employees. Superb acting all the way.

Night of the Demons (1988): 100% ‘80s horrible, but I kind of loved it?

Michael Bolton's Big Sexy Valentine's Day Special (2017): I want to write individually, uniquely written thank-you cards to everyone who made this possible.

Get Out (2017): Gorgeously shot, acted, and written; full of detail, homages, symbolism, and foreshadowing. I’m obsessed. I’m so proud of Jordan Peele and cannot wait to see what he does next.

La La Land (2016): More like Blah Blah Land.

Moonlight (2016): A gorgeously shot character study of a young man’s dichotomy of black masculinity and homosexuality.

The Belko Experiment (2017): A clever and funny horrorfest of a desk jockey company locking its employees in and pitting them against one another for a battle to the death.

Logan (2017): THIS is the Wolverine we’ve wanted. My creyes. Thanks or all the years of dedication, Jackman.

A Monster Calls (2016): For such an imaginative story as a boy’s imagination assisting his grief, it’s rather dull and removed.

The Imposter (2012): A documentary of a French national faking the identity of a missing, and much younger, American boy.

Best in Show (2000): This is literally my life now.

Tangled: Before Ever After (2017): Such a cute continuation I’ve always wanted from one of my favorite Disney films. Sweet songs, characterizations, and animation.

Ordinary World (2016): Billie Joe Armstrong in his first starring role as a man hitting a midlife crisis. It’s been done. But there’s something particularly charming about its cast and execution.

Beauty and the Beast (2017): ...Eh. It’s pretty? Some of the additions are cute and thoughtful. But it feels like a shot for shot remake.

Christine (2016): A dramatization of the real life story of Christine Chubbuck, a news correspondent who committed suicide while live on-air.

Arrival (2016): Amy Adams was robbed from a nomination. In my opinion, this is her best work ever.

Beware the Slenderman (2016): HBO documentary covering the true crime of the Slenderman-inspired stabbing and the young girls who conspired together to commit it.

The Fits (2015): A young girl in Cincinnati observes others around her spiraling into epileptic-like episodes as she joins a dance team and undergoes many pre-teen milestones. 

The Queen of Katwe (2016): The true story of the chess world’s Woman Candidate Master Phiona Mutesi.

The Love Witch (2016): I love literally everything about this ridiculous movie? With its purposeful presentation acting and romantic aesthetic? 

Jackie (2016): Natalie Portman was spellbinding.

An American Wereolf in London (1981): Took me forever to watch, but reignited my love for werewolves.

Loving (2016): True story of interracial couple Mildred and Richard Loving who got married in the late 1950s.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016): I’ve lived this genre. I grew up with this genre. I devoured hundreds of films, television series, and novels about this genre. If it were the first I ever saw, maybe I’d have liked it better. It’s fine. Just not for me.

 The Founder (2016): What a wonderfully expensive and affective commercial for McDonald’s. Now put Michael Keaton in more movies!!

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016): I’m excited for the extensive look in Rowling’s universe. While hard to not compare to Harry Potter and lacking the groundwork of connection to a book series I grew up with since 11 years old, it certainly grew on me.

The Boxtrolls (2014): Late to the game on this one, but another fine film from the Laika company. I’m becoming a huge fan of theirs.

The Lost City of Z (2017): A refreshing movie to watch that’s driven by characters more than plot and with minimal CGI. Gorgeous acting. Gripping motivations and convictions. Beautiful scenery and set designs. Reminiscent of an old Hollywood epic.

Tickled (2016): Frustrating documentary about the online “competitive tickling” community and the shadiness of key players.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016): I’d probably have enjoyed this more if I hadn’t watched the Lego Batman Movie first, but I got thorough amusement from the in-jokes and returning cast of talent.

Cat People (1942): Oh look, it’s the most I can hope for in my near future.

Mommy Dead and Dearest (2017): HBO documentary about Dee Dee and Gypsy Rose Blancharde.

Drag Becomes Him (2015): I fucking love Jinx Monsoon.

A Star is Born (1954): Judy at her best.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 3): I wish this season was more focused, but it gave me some moments I’ll never forget.

Wonder Woman (2017): I already plan to go see this again and make it my theme for my 30th birthday this year. I love it that much.

The Girl on the Train (2016): Zzzzzzzzzzz

House of Cards (Season 5): You can always tell when a showrunner leaves. Robin Wright saved this show for me.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016): I don’t know many comedians who can make me instantly switch from laughing to crying.

Papillon (1973): There’s something captivating about this film that you don’t see every day. True storytelling epic.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner? (1976): Sidney Poitier is charming, and the behind the scenes turmoil for Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy had me sobbing.

Who Took Johnny (2014): The true crime story of the abduction/disappearance of Johnny Gosch.

Master of None (Season 2): There was something so maddening about Dev this season. Well, not “something.” He fucked up a lot and was quite unlikable. The directing and international film homages were second best to Denise’s single background episode.

The Beguiled (2017): Quite beautiful, great acting. Typical Sofia Coppola and entertaining enough. Not necessary for me to view again.

Baby Driver (2017): This is a standout film for me this year. It made me incredibly happy and so proud of Edgar Wright.

Orange is the New Black (Season 5): Justice for Poussey.

Excalibur (1981): I hear this is both the best and definitive version of the King Arthur myth. But everything else is really bad, and this is acceptable. It has some strong elements and covered the largest span of the myth’s time.

The Old Man and the Sea (1958): The most simply shot and presented film I’ve ever seen. Spencer Tracy is an absolute dear.

HitREcord on TV (Season 1): Such a satisfying and inspiring series to watch.

Atomic Blonde (2017): A lot more spy noir than I expected, but the action I went in anticipating was thrilling and impressive in its choreography. Loved the aesthetic and loved the soundtrack even more.

HitREcord on TV (Season 2): It’s really motivating to watch people go through the creation process in this.

Adam’s Rib (1949): Such a silly story, but Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy’s dynamic is ev. er. y. thing!

BUtterfield 8 (1960): The behind the scenes story is much more compelling and interesting.

What a Way to Go! (1964): This is honestly the most perfect movie I’ve seen in years. There is nothing about it I didn’t love nor recommend.

Detroit (2017): Not exactly the best thing to watch after Charlottesville, but it is a story that needs to be heard and not forgotten. Nothing has changed.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017): The runtime felt too long. But it’s still the best portrayal of Peter Parker so far. Such a refreshing Marvel movie to watch in the midst of my over-saturation outlook on their films. A smaller spec story was very-much needed.

T2 Trainspotting (2017): Most sequels made 20 years later aren’t anything to write home about. But man. This exceeded expectations.

Hurricane Bianca (2016): Just the kind of movie I want from a drag queen. Just the right amount of camp, message, humor, and fabulousness. 

Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (2017): I don’t think there’s anything that makes me consistently laugh this hard.

Ma Vie de Courgette (2017): Stop-animation about the connection and imagination of orphaned children in a healthy home environment.

Brigsby Bear (2017): The most unexpectedly unique and heartfelt movie I’ve seen all year.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977): Oh, so that’s why people like this movie so much.

Shameless (Season 5): More Ian, please.

Cat Women of the Moon (1953): Masterpiece. Aesthetic. My future.

Last Action Hero (1993): I feel like I unwittingly wrote this exact story as a teenager. Loved it.

The Bodyguard (1992): I will always love Whitney.

Table 19 (2017): Legitimately charming.

Kingsmen: The Golden Circle (2017): Not as good as the first, but plenty of strong ideas that I enjoyed with a lovable cast.

mother! (2017): Fucking horrifying and sent me into an anxiety attack that lasted longer than a day -- ethereal and quite the theater-going experience.

Sunshine on Leith (2014): Proclaimers musical. Pretty by the numbers, but very eagerly genuine and sweet.

The Powder and the Glory (2007): PBS documentary about Elizabeth Arden and Helena Rubinstein. -- I’m Team Rubinstein, by the way.

It (2017): A great retelling of the original story with a strong and likable cast. I’m excited to see who they cast as the older counterparts in Part 2.

The Zookeeper’s Wife (2017): An interesting perspective of who is left behind during wartime. 

Sgt. Pepper’s Musical Revolution (2017): PBS documentary on my boys.

Fist Fight (2017): 90 minutes of line-o-rama comedy. But I love the lead actors.

Gilda (1946): My, my, my Hayworth. Finish him.

I Am Heath Ledger (2017): A retrospective of Ledger with interviews by those legitimately closest to him. Very touching and insightful.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017): The most visually stunning film I’ve seen in a long, long time.

Personal Shopper (2017): Kristen Stewart stars as a woman living in France, waiting for a sign of life from her deceased twin brother.

Gifted (2017): I’m here for Evans and Evans alone.

XX (2017): Four horror shorts directed by women, each uniquely shot and told.

The Promise (2016): The movie was sold short by a misdirection in advertising; it’s more -- and interestingly so -- about the Armenian genocide than just another wartime love triangle. Come on, guys. Polyamory. Polyamory is always the answer.

The Circle (2017): Unwatchable. The film itself doesn’t even know what it’s trying to say.

The Public Enemy (1931): Mostly watched this because of the closing of The Great Movie Ride, above all else.

Leverage (Season 1): Race to finish all 5 seasons before it’s taken off of Netflix. I love this team.

Leverage (Season 2): I have so many feelings about these characters and their relationships with each other.

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): Polyamory. I told you. The answer is always polyamory. And bondage.

Stranger Things (Season 2): I’m so happy this is finally here, and so mad I’m already finished.

Leverage (Season 3): I love the slow development and bonding the team has gone through.

Leverage (Season 4): The more ridiculous and implausible the mission, the more I love the episode.

Thor: Ragnarok (2017): I don’t care that it was “too funny.” It was exactly what I wanted out of a Marvel movie.

Leverage (Season 5): Well. It’s official. I’ve been Stockholm-syndromed by a show.

The Foreigner (2017): It was fine. It was another misleading trailer, so not what I was expecting. But it was fine.

The Thing (1982): Mmm mmm mmm ‘80s Kurt Russell in a solid John Carpenter thriller/horror.

To Have and Have Not (1944): Bogart and Bacall is goals.

Alien: Covenant (2017): Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017): This is actually a solid sequel I greatly enjoyed. It’s been a few years since I’ve enjoyed a Marvel movie, and now I have two!

The Librarians (Season 1): Okay, this is a good Leverage replacement.

The Librarians (Season 2): This show is super endearing and I’m pleased it exists.

Aileen Wuornos: The Selling of a Serial Killer (1992): Going to the My Favorite Murder live show encouraged me to finally watch this.

Aileen: Life and Death of a Serial Killer (2003): An update and deeper delve into Wuornos. Super upsetting to watch her mental deterioration unfold onscreen. 

The Librarians (Season 3): All caught-up for season 4 in December!!

Sleight (2016): I had a difficult time watching this movie. There was something about the sound-mixing that triggered some anxiety and auditory stress. But I liked what I could see of it.

Cujo (1983): Probably my second-favorite King movie now. Very simple, yet effective.

Lady Bird (2017): I’m happy to have seen this before the hype got too big. It was so relatable and enjoyable.

Christine (1983): Quite entertaining, great music, top camp.

Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie (2017): Mostly made up of callbacks, but I DO NOT CARE. Such a satisfying nostalgia bookend.

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017): Fantastic dialogue and performances. I feel so many side stories and characters were meant to build up the main storyline and give context, but I feel it left a lot of characters wanting and left used. 

Novitiate (2017): I had no idea the Catholic church did the sisters so dirty with Vatican II. Very tense film and makes you quite sympathetic for the women in it.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016): Spectacular HBO documentary of my goddess and the mother goddess. I cried a lot.

Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry (2012): Documentary follows Chinese artist and figure, Ai Weiwei, as he uses social media and activism in his art and to hold the government accountable.

Shameless (Season 6): Needs more Ian. Tired of everyone else’s bullshit. Will I last much longer?

Calamity Jane (1953): Casting Doris Day as the butch Calamity Jane is the most hilarious and gay thing I’ve ever seen and I love it.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017): It’s beautiful, but such a terrible adaptation that guts any tension, stakes, and even mystery as well as gives little for the talented cast to cut their teeth on.

Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016): The attempts and execution of a 1,650 foot ladder made of fireworks.

Monster (2003): Ohhhh, THAT’S why Charlize won the Oscar...

The Big Sick (2017): So charming and such a legit romantic comedy.

The Disaster Artist (2017): I watched this in the same way I watched the room: Through my fingers, curled up on my side, and whispering, “Stop. Stop. Stop.” I loved it.

Coco (2017): Well, Pixar fucked me up once again.

My Friend Rockefeller (2015): Documentary about con artist and murderer Christian Gerhartsreiter.

A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 1): De. Light. Ful.

Shameless (Season 7): Finally caught up!

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017): Yes. I see the faults. I understand. I just don’t care. I absolutely loved it. 

The Greatest Showman (2017): Probably my biggest disappointment of the year. The cast and musical numbers were great, but everything in-between was so weak and uninteresting. For a non-diagetic musical, they never earned their musical moments. I’d rather have watched a non-Barnum circus movie all about ZEfron and Zendaya for 2 hours with Jackman in the Master of Ceremonies role. It felt like every non-musical scene was trying to sprint through to get to the next song.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017): I didn’t expect to adore this as much as I did? Jack Black was the standout and was so endearing and respectful towards teenage girls!

The Little Hours (2017): My forever mood/aesthetic in film form.

Gook (2017): Black and white film about the ‘92 L.A. riots from the perspective of two Korean-American brothers.

Carnage (2017): Mockumentary made by Simon Amstell told from the future where veganism is the norm.

Good Time (2017): An epic told over the span of 24 hours of a bank robbery gone wrong.

Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation (2017): Chappelle’s latest Netflix specials, back to back. I don’t agree with a lot of what he said and didn’t always laugh. But when he reached me, he did it right.

Battle of the Sexes (2017): That haircut scene helps fuel my Emma Stone fantasies. 

I, Tonya (2017): While I do believe Harding never takes responsibility for herself when she should, I still can’t begrudge her place in media history.

The Shape of Water (2017): This movie was fucking everything to me.

2016 | 2015 | 2014