#def not did it expect it to Worsen

[777charm]

Child!MC swearing infont of the Brothers

Request: "Child!mc who heard any of the brothers(obey me) swears and says "f*ck" or any curse 😭 would like to see there reaction :)!! I understand if you don't accept my request ^7^"

Note: I AM SO SORRY ANON I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE WHOLE REQUEST 😭😭

Warnings: Cursing/Swear Words + Middle Aged Mom Lucifer (he gets his own warning)

Lucifer

Definitely saw this one coming, but wasn't exactly expecting the exact moment. I mean you are a young child, and you are prone to pickup some words the brothers (esp MAMMON) use sooner or later. You were playing in his office while he finished up some work, before your trip to the park later. You accidentally tripped on a crayon, crashing into a vase on a nearby table, senting it crashing onto the floor with a loud shattering sound. Almost immediately Lucifer is beside you making sure you are okay, and that no glass shards hurt you. Before he even gets the words out to ask you are even okay, you yell out "FUCK!". This one shocks him because. Well. This isn't the time he expected you to say that. At least, it was a small swear word and not a major swear-word. He kinda awkwardly skips past that, helping you up while having you sit down while he cleans up the remains of the now broken vase. Afterwords he scolds you for using the "bad word".

"MC. You know we do not say that word is this house. That is bad, and we do not repeat what others say."—Sounds like a angry middle-aged mom LMAOOOO

I think he might scold them for a good fifteen minutes, reminding them to not say anymore bad words, as that can to lead to punishment (no toys for starters).

Mammon

I feel like he's that one uncle/brother who teaches the younger kids THE SWEAR WORDS IN THE FIRST PLACE 💀 He def sets them up, and tells them to "show off" to Lucifer. He literally taught them every swear word he knows, and said "I bet Lucifer will probably like if you greeted him that way!". Speed forward Dinner, Lucifer walks in sitting down in his usual chair. MC getting happy especially when Mammon sends them the thumbs-up to go along with their little "plan". Satan and Belphegor found it alittle weird that MC was suddenly so happier than usual, and to add onto it, so was Mammon. It was like he planning another scheme....OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT DID MC JUST SAY????? The table went eerily slient after MC looked Lucifer dead in the eyes and yelled out "Hi you son of a BITCH! SUCK MY DICK!". The silence was interrupted by Mamon laughing, barely holding back tears at this point. Satan and Levi joined in–Satan not believing MC actually said what he had wanted to say for so long, and Levi finding it hilarious that someone as small and weird as a "Normie Child" like MC, could swear like that. Dinner was somewhat quiet after that, and it only worsened as towards the end MC spoke up again. "Hey you fucker! I want the rest of the godamn fucking mashing fucking potatoes!" You said pointing to the mashed potatoes now on Asmo's Plate. He himself was taken back by your now more demanding vocabulary than usual. "MC-!" "NO YOU LISTEN HERE FUCKER!". Even though your words so aggressive, you said them with such a happy face that the whole table was confused. How were you happy but so angry???–Okay Dinner was cut short. Yeaaaaah very short, and a early bedtime and timeout chair for you. After Lucifer did some instigating (literally threatening to tie them from the celling) he found out this was Mammon's doing. Let's just say, not a fun week for you and Mammon..🚶‍♂️

-Might do the rest of the brothers later ! Thank you for requesting, and I'm so sorry for deleting your whole request :[ 🥞

[mybiasisexo]

Girl i just have so much to say so bear with me

I'm not gonna lie I love how complicated this whole story is because it surprises me every time with what they do and how it all turns out

First of all the peeps, Jongdae being so loud with his realizations made me laugh like dude was thinking out loud making everything more awkward lmao but i love him like that ❤️

baek is still the mvp, my guy, my true champ in this mess 🫶🏼🫰🏼🤘🏼 and poor nini he didn't do anything wrong he just loves his friends so much and wants them to be all together and happy 🥺

I loved the easter eggs like i thought wow jongdae still can't cook meat on a grill to save his life 😭

You're so good at conveying emotions and details, i felt the anxiety when Mel was trying to hide the marks of what happened and everyone was so nosey 😖

By the way when Mel said he took the ring i thought he took it forcibly against her wish but i didn't expect that at all, now i want to know what was Mel's reasoning behind the decision to give it back if it affected her that much to lose it 👀

Mel Mel i just want to smack her in the head, i mean chan has always been straight forward with his feelings (except for that one time he just left) and she just dived deeper into something she's still hesitant about and mislead chan into thinking she was ready to work it out smh

I love all the parallels and how they've both done similar things to each other, but their wounds are so deep that they cannot be fixed with a simple sorry, she still resents him too much to accept that she did a lot of damage too and the lack of communication just worsened the situation beyond repair 🤧

Oh and that last forehead kiss and soft thank you broke me I hope you know that 🙂

you said that it's almost over and it made me sad, what would I do without this amazing story, it's been going for so long and I've been following it since ch1 always looking forward to the new updates 😪

Anyways great chapter, I'm devastated 💔 I'm gonna go wrap myself in a blanket and cry, ily bye ❤️

Yay let’s go essay!!! 👏🏾👏🏾🥰

I was hesitant to post this chapter bc I was nervous about backlash. I knew it was gonna upset ppl but was scared folks were gonna drop it 😭. But seeing this fills me with relief 😮‍💨

Jongdae was a mess this whole chapter, I blame it on the weather 😂 and one thing he shouldn’t ever be is behind a grill lmao. Bbh is THE voice of reason but idt anyone is actually listening tho 😬. And nini is such a poor baby. The couple was really couple-ing when it came to bullying him 😭

I love getting compliments about my writing!!!! Esp this one, it’s such a high honor and helps with the imposter syndrome 😭🙌🏾

The drama with the ring oh boy. All imma say is they def have different stories on what went down that day and we haven’t even began to get into it 🙃

Mel needs a good shaking I can agree. Chanyeol has been so patient with her ☹️. Some would say she don’t deserve him 🚶🏾‍♀️

These two react so strongly with their emotions. And the thing I like about them both is that they never seem to realize just how badly their actions hurt each other until they voice it. Then they’re like ‘oh that was bad, huh?’ 😭

Don’t worry the last kiss messed me up too 🤕

I knoooow I can’t believe it’s almost over either. But I appreciate you sticking around! And am glad I can create something you can look forward to 🥲

So sorry for breaking you. I promise it’ll get better ❤️. Well….👀

[tielt]

Transgender people have a fairly intra-regulated population and we rely on a lot of anecdotal evidence because there aren't well funded studies. This unfortunately means that the echo chamber effect is strong, this in no way discredits that the experience is real. I'm nonbinary femme gender agnostic, gender queer and somewhat solitary. My views are most def not the community views and my contemplations darker as I have multiple sclerosis and oft feel disintigrating. I'm in another transitory period regarding mental health and I decided to check out what effect testosterone would have. Before transitioning I read up on neurological research to see how it could effect multiple sclerosis and learned that both T & E have neurologically protective properties and my doctor told me testing hormone balance was probably safe. I'm adding a spoiler/censor bar for warnings. Estrodiol suppresses hormonal generation of testosterone and I briefly stopped taking it to test my mental health safety/modulation. I have a lot of reasons I did this, curiosity being the only required one, well being was the primary one. I'm posting this because I want trans connections to know what my experience was, but it could elucidate some things to others, but I doubt it would convert anyone. i'm not carrying a bible.

Relevant Basis/Education (UC Berkeley) Physics(into 3rd year) Math 2 full years + discrete 1 year chem/bio (not as much as a nurse), degree in CompSci(probability/analytical theory) AP Psychology, rigorous self-study in cog-sci, likely laden with superstitions & head-cheese ghosts. -obviously I'm not a doctor-

My experiences are not the norm, they are a sliver of a sliver and should be read as such. I'm non-binary/femme, low filter and its honestly a weird post that belongs nowhere. TW: everything, I tried to keep it raw/explicit to experience and perceptions. Please be kind to others. Before you express your opinion, did you wonder why anyone gives a fuck about your opinion? Anecdotal bias/placebo bias++ is heavy in personal accounts, talk to your doctor.

Estradiol=E, Testosterone=T, Spironolactone=spiro Before: E taken 2-3 years with regularity, spiro 6months not for 2 years. Pertinent Wellness criteria/conditions Psychosis/Depression/Suicidality/Fatigue/Social Withdrawal

Testosterone for my case returned approximately 3 weeks after stopping E, 1.2/1.3 months to what felt like approximately full strength T levels. Estradiol injections tapered slightly before that.

psychosis: Anecdotal bias/placebo-bias++ First the main one I'm studying psychosis, psychosis onset for me occurred before starting estradiol, but after starting spiro. I assumed it was the stress of a lot of conflict around that time of coming out since spiro is 100% a stealth drug. For me spiro didn't feel like it changed anything I stopped taking it after starting E because it didn't seem to modify my state of mind and it can cause/worsen depression which is a lifelong struggle for me and E/T level tests showed healthy levels not taking it. Psychosis was reduced during this recent period of natal T levels, but my well being was absolutely horrible will return to why. Unfortunately no conclusion can be reached about hormonal modulation of psychosis as it comes and goes on it's own accord with seemingly no trigger for long or short periods.

intrusive thoughts/instability: Anecdotal bias/placebo-bias++ While seemingly-foreign psychosis type signal decreased, I felt constantly negative about myself in a more constant intrusive thoughts way. I felt more outgoing in general and tended to seek to express myself in various ways but it usually left me feeling negative about myself and my role in any encounter. Placebo effects I'm certain added to whatever hormones did. I think of it this way, we expect boys to act like little shits and they do to be sure. I feel like it is analogous to the Stanford prison experiment. If you don't know what that is you should, it is a fundamental thing about humans everyone should know. Boys will be boys is such a horrible thing to face. Even if my actions and communications had not changed at all in this state my experience was that was what is expected of me. The absolute weirdness of this set of things completely internal and objectively separate from what anyone else is assuming was my state as if others even could know when blind. Inconclusive. (placebo dominant)

emotional well being: Anecdotal bias/placebo-bias Two emotional problems disappeared for me while on E. Anger in it's hot form, while I'm overly reserved and have most times before E I was prone to a pent-up kind of anger that was not expressed. I'm not saying E-modulated humans don't get angry but I realized whatever memories in that pocket refer to has not happened to me in years. Frustration/irritation for sure but not hot anger. The other is emotion surge/thought train surge. You ever can't stop thoughts that seem to come one after another, yeah this went away for me also when I stopped T. Hot anger did not return, possibly takes considerably longer. The surges returned in strength, often were accompanied by recurring self judgements around fairly inert social interactions or harmless but maybe clumsy or slightly aggressive things that seem shallow. The conclusions around this one are discountable if you consider confirmation bias. This is exactly what explicates my views on T, but the reduction/removal of these occurred on E without knowing that would happen. The negative reduction occurring on E (misnomer would be to say positive since it's reduced effect) is one I trust in this case even though the return ('Positive' nomenclature classifier) effect could be placebo driven they both suggest the same result.

depression/suicide I started an SSRI 1.5 years ago and have taken it for granted that I haven't had active suicidal impulses. O boy did that change on T. I wasn't preparing or attempting, but I did constantly feel like I needed to know how to leave need be the needs be worse. Unfortunately, I have other factors that are contributing namely fiscal. I've taken time off work and my savings are gone, the last time I was broke I tried to exit stage left. I'm not going to go into details but most days I'm not able to function and part of the reason I wanted to test my hormonal system was to see if re-modulating could contribute to a return to work life. Depressive symptoms have been bad enough that I haven't even felt up for video games so I consider this a false premise as was expected. I don't feel like my desire to do things was diminished, but i don't feel that the juice to propel on desires was present. Along this vein pre-dating this experiment I have felt that adderall isn't doing what it's been doing for me previously. I started taking this after MS onset as my ADHD became unmanageable, I should have taken it earlier in my life but before MS I had an Amish mentality toward pharma even after spending my 20s living a better living through chemistry entheogenic life. in for a penny in for a pound aside pharma keeps me alive for the last 10ish years, I need to do a Adderall vacation to reset but it's as dangerous as T when you've got no juice in your brain soup.

Result: testosterone is a shit salad, don't want nothing to do with it. My experiences are not normal for the social group I feel part of. Queer is how I communicate my identity unless I'm talking to a gender scientist. Mostly because I don't frankly give a shit what most people think about it and this not normal it is appropriate reaction to popular opinion. While I do unfortunately care what people think of me as an entity there isn't much receptivity about medical issues from not medical doctors. Part trauma and dissassociation, partly feelings of detesting the status quo, regardless it is straight up not a situation that is any one elses to delegate and this shit is complicated. It would be nice to know without having to go through finding out if my presenting self was as negative as my experience of it was introspectively. Unfortunately my trust in others to not push their opinions through any means means won't believe that others have considered my well being in attempting to adjust my assumptions unless it conforms to my bias. Weirdly I haven't had many completely uninitiated interactions and for that I'm grateful. I wasn't always this misanthropic, often auts are reflectively misanthropic defensively and I think I've been that a long time. Often I feel like I didn't know how to communicate before E, like it was constricted in ways it isn't now. Biased? for sure. My body feels like more of a home now even as age/MS degenerates it which I consider to be the goal I wanted to be met regardless of what hopes I had for my well being. Also trading pockets for tits and a plumper ass, are you kidding take my pockets and shitty societal expectations. Anecdotal bias/placebo-bias++/talk to your doctor

I'm not into fencing.

That is good place to stop reading unless you wanna hear about bodily fluids and chop shop blech blech. TW: body-fluids/surgery/penis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm in the smaller subgroup of TGirls that has not had an Orchiectomy. I've had my tubes snipped as MS is degenerative and can be genetically inheritted. Even snipped you secrete semen food, this stops when you take E. At natal function hormone levels this secretion returned, I don't care for it but I've not heard this detail before. Sometimes you can have kids after restoring natal hormones sometimes not. I don't tuck and honestly other people make weird assumptions about chopping shit off willy nilly. Make sure you get the full DL on vaginoplasty before an Orchi. After this hormone cycling I'm into the idea of an Orchi, I don't tuck so it's not mandatory for me but now I know T is as horrible as I thought. I'm not looking to go under the knife again, but it is less invasive than other operations. My libido was really high on return of natal T maybe to an unhealthy degree. Climax/orgasm stayed mostly femme adjusting slightly back towards masc type (shorter and boring). I've not had a period. Hormones are powerful though. I'm not the type that would discourage placebo effect experiences if it is that. The placebo question does not deny your experience. The first time I had Estro it triggered euphoria, which I don't know if it was placebo. I believe that many TGirls experience this and that makes it real. I reject that we could be safer not being comprehensively informative and explicitly honest. Also that every brain is different and that I may have some defects related to autism that blocks that. There is an undue pressure on trans women to conform to absurd standards as women are assumed to conform to...

I have no idea how transgender studies can be done ethically, it sounds extremely difficult. -I'm not a doctor- | sed -e 's/exhausted/tits/g'

[adriancatrin]

i was gonna write and/or color my latest drawing today but my femur/hip pain has only gotten worse and i’ve just been laying in bed all miserable-like ugh