#def not my maximum effort

[bi-functional]

“At least I didn’t loose my golden fiddle to some Hillybilly in Georgia”

I heard this audio and immediately thought of @tswwwit ‘s familiar au. This just Feels like the kinda shit Dipper would find out and use as ammo in their argument’s and I mean come on. Golden Fiddle? We already know Bill’s musically inclined! Who’s else would it be?

[sl-ut]

the dangers of our desires

(OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD why did i actually eat this up so hard (it could be actual hot garbage wrote this while stoned and dont have the patience to edit it)

pairing: stepmother!alicent hightower x targ!stepdaughter!reader

description: as if alicent didn’t have it hard enough, her youngest stepdaughter is returning to the capitol after spending most of her life in the vale, bringing with her more trouble than alicent could have ever imagined for herself.

warnings: stepmother alicent is most def a warning causssseeeee, alicent actually being so homophobic lmaooooo, some religious themes (guilt, trauma, sacrilege of a fictional religion), swearing, smut, unedited (VERYYYYYY, i got stoned and wrote this in one sitting so dont have high hopes for grammar), probably lowk kinkier than anything i’ve ever written but we gonna rock with it anyways, viserys traumatising yet another one of his kids, slight reader description (silver hair and purple eyes), sort of dub-con? (reader and alicent are both a lil tipsy in the end but they both want it so its fine)

words: 5.8K

date posted: 09/09/24

Alicent had been queen all of five months when her youngest stepdaughter was sent to the Vale, both as a political move recommended by her own father, the Hand, in order to restore a connection between the Crown and the Vale following the untimely death of Queen Aemma, and as an act of mercy the king, who wept each and every time he looked upon her little face–guilt and rage consuming him for what decision he had been forced to make in order to her to have survived her birth. 

The day of her departure is engraved so firmly into every single one of their minds, the king’s blank stare, his eldest daughter’s red and tear-streaked face scowling as she barked at her father, the Hand, truly anyone to change their minds, Otto Hightower’s stern order for a Kingsguard to take the eldest princess to her rooms in order to put an end to the scene she had been causing. Alicent felt vacant that day, silently staring into the distance to avoid watching as the princess was loaded into the wheelhouse before it began pulling away and out of the Red Keep. Of course, the entourage that followed her was almost ridiculously large for a child so young, larger than any that had previously accompanied the king himself, but both Rhaenyra and her father had a hand in ensuring maximum protection for the youngest member of the royal family for her long journey. As difficult as Viserys found it to be around his infant daughter, he certainly did not ignore the fact that she was the last piece of his late wife, and he felt that she needed to be well protected because of her status and out of respect for her mother’s memory. The girl was eleven months old.

Alicent made an effort to stay as distant of the young princess as possible; lingering in the doorway as Rhaenyra visited her nursery, avoiding looking directly at her friend as she held the babe to her chest and wept; taking on her duties to the youngest princess as her stepmother from a distance, insisting that any matters of the princess that did not concern the Crown could be dealt with by the princess’s personal household. It was more of a blessing to the new queen that she was being sent away–she no longer would be plagued with guilt each time she shirked away from the motherless girl.

Rhaenyra and Alicent’s already fractured relationship only suffered further after Rhaenyra’s sister was sent to the Vale, especially since Alicent soon after gave birth to her own child with Viserys, and Rhaenyra seemed to be under the impression that Alicent was far more involved in her sister becoming a ward of Lady Arryn than she truly did in order to put her own newborn son ahead. 

The first three years to follow were strangely calm in King’s Landing. Rhaenyra had married Laenor Velaryon, Alicent had given birth to three children of her own, and the realm was still, for the most part, at peace with itself. The youngest princess, last that Alicent had heard, had begun her early education, something that Alicent was supposed to be mostly responsible for arranging, though Alicent told Lady Jeyne in a letter that she trusted the lady’s judgement and faith to the Seven to see that the princess would receive a proper education befitting a Targaryen princess. Jeyne Arryn was a notoriously pious woman, often referred to by the crudest of Westerosi lords as the Maiden of the Vale; any noblewoman who takes an oath of chastity was to be noted with a nickname as such, Alicent noticed, though she’s certain that a man would be honoured and highly regarded for such piety. 

The queen’s perspective of the young princess had shifted in the years to follow–amidst the chaos that Rhaenyra and even Alicent’s own children had been causing at court, Lady Arryn’s letters of praise for the princess were a relief for the Hightower woman, she was the only of the king’s children who was able to refrain from causing her grief, only giving her a touch of a headache by association every time that Rhaenyra fought with her over the decisions being made for her; she needed to have the finest of Valyrian tutors, needed to be as connected with her dragon as possible, deserved to have dozens of new dresses and other luxurious gifts sent to her on a semi-regular basis. If Alicent was not willing to spoil the princess for her mere existence, Rhaenyra was more than willing to do so herself, writing to her younger sister as if she were her own daughter that had been sent away. From the way that the princess had been praised for her beauty, piety, and intelligence, Alicent had felt a breath of fresh air when the king made the decision to call his daughter home in hopes of securing her a suitable husband.

By this point, the princess was ten and eight, far older than most other Targaryen princesses had been permitted to remain unmarried. Rhaenyra had offered to assume the role of her guardian and host her younger sister at Dragonstone while they search for a husband, but Alicent was not blind to her intentions and refused to allow the heir to her sister to Prince Jaecerys–Alicent always been particularly disapproving of the traditional practice of incestuous marriage among the Targaryen dynasty, though she herself had permitted her own two children to be married in order to prevent her sweet Helaena from being swept away by Rhaenyra as a bride for her bastard son. 

In the first few weeks of her presence in the capitol, Alicent found her to be very pleasant. The letters from the Vale could not have been more truthful when they boasted of her beauty and wit, and she had proven to be just as charismatic and cultured in her Valyrian heritage as the most ideal Targaryen princess. She attended her lessons, enjoyed spending time with her younger siblings–even taking an interest in learning of little Daeron’s achievements in Oldtown. Then, as she seemed to become more settled in her new environment, rumours began to reach Alicent’s ears, and she was entirely unsure of how to deal with them.

She had noticed, on several occasions now, that the princess’s sworn protector, Ser Thomas, seemed to be far too comfortable around his charge, and could even be accused of caring for the princess far more than any white cloak should. Alicent was concerned by this, but beyond an intense questioning of both the princess and the knight about some of the rumours being spread, there was very little that she could do (especially considering that her own sworn protector did not hide his affections for her very well, either). The queen had hoped that this would be the worst of the drama, but she would be sorely disappointed in the months to come.

Princess Y/n had made an effort to surround herself with some of the other young ladies at court, constantly being accompanied by some, if not all, of her entourage at all times. Alicent saw nothing truly wrong with this, it was healthy for a girl her age to find companionship with the other ladies at court, but she quickly became alarmed at the sort of company she was choosing to keep.

Most of the ladies flew far below Alicent’s radar, all self-absorbed and desperate as the rest of the court to be any true threat. However, one Lady Mathilde appeared to be different; the girls were very close, often sleeping in the same bed, breaking their fast together, walking in the gardens together… Alicent saw from the beginning that she was cunning, and much too forward for Alicent’s tastes, often being found gossiping or flirting with anyone who would give her the time of day. She feared the impact that such a friendship would have on the princess, but Alicent could not risk insulting Mathilde’s house, who was already quite critical of the Hightower rule.

When she first caught wind of the impropriety that was supposedly taking place among the princess’s social circle, she knew she needed to step in. Far too many times now she had received complaints of the princess and her closest companions enjoying far too much wine in the gardens, or being quite loud well into the night when they all should have been abed, and her response to Alicent’s questioning was becoming more and more irritating for the queen; the modest, obedient girl had turned snarky and unapproachable.

Alicent had reached her wits end, getting the third complaint of the day for the princess’s daily activities, pushing past the knight at her door with a few tense words of dismissal, climbing her way up the stairs and through the unguarded door of the princess’s chambers, noting to herself to have Ser Thomas punished for leaving his post unattended. 

Her feet stopped abruptly, eyes widening at the sight before her as her breath caught in her throat. Before her, on the extravagant four-poster bed, Princess Y/n was splayed out with her shift unlaced to leave her chest exposed as the skirt was bunched around her hips to make room for the girl who knelt between her thighs. Her eyes were closed, silver curls splayed out on the mattress as she arched her back, fingers lacing through the dark locks of Lady Mathilde to hold her face snugly against her cunt. 

For a few moments, Alicent watched. The curve of the princess’s spine lifting from the feather-stuffed mattress, breasts lifting towards the ceiling as the cool of the evening air caused her nipples to harden into tight little pebbles; The sounds of her pleasure, whimpers and curses falling from her lips as the brunette sucked and nibbled at the sensitive folds of her womanhood. Alicent felt her lips purse in response to the involuntary watering of her mouth, fists clenching as she pressed her thighs together for a brief moment. 

She blinked a few times, coming back to herself. Neither of the young ladies seemed to notice the queen’s presence until she loudly cleared her throat, shaking her head to refocus.

Both girls sat up in surprise, the princess rushing to cover herself as the other hastily readjusted her hair and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. The queen stared at them sternly for a beat before glancing up at the ceiling as she let out a deep sigh.

“Get out,” her voice was clear and commanding, stare coming back to the two figures on the bed and scoffing as either moved, “I said out.”

Lady Mathilde rushed to the door, pulling her robe over herself to protect her modesty as she escaped the princess’s chambers. Alicent did not spare her a second glance, instead choosing to stare directly at her stepdaughter, who seemed uncertain of whether she would be embarrassed or cocky for being caught in such a state.

“Your Grace,” The princess sat up straighter, “Apologies, but I did not hear your knock. As you can see, I was quite… indisposed.”

Alicent scoffed again, “Indisposed. Have you no shame? No decency?”

The princess rolled off of the bed, moving to pull her wine coloured robe over her shoulders and sitting at her vanity, “Decency. I was alone in my own chambers, it is not my fault that you do not feel the need to uphold some boundaries, stepmother.”

“I shouldn’t think it necessary, given your recent behaviour. How else could I prevent you from indulging in your depravities?”

“Worry not, Your Grace, my maidenhead is still intact, if that is your concern. My prospects for marriage will not be harmed.”

“No?” Alicent laughed cynically, “And when the court hears of your indecency? What then, when lords begin to refuse to entertain a woman of such immorality?” 

“I think my Valyrian blood would be enough incentive for most,” The princess scoffed, brushing through her silky hair, “I doubt any would truly care, so long as I provide heirs and a few moments of pleasure. My title and connection to the Crown is of much more importance than my chastity.”

Alicent stormed forward, grasping her stepdaughter’s wrist tightly in her own grasp, “Listen to yourself! Your father, the king, has spent more money than you can even imagine on bringing suitors here for you, hosting feasts and tournaments for you, offering you the finest of lifestyles and education–Think of the opportunities he has given you, and this is how you act?”

“My father,” The princess sneered, pushing herself up to speak directly into her stepmother’s face, “Wasted his coin in doing those things, not for me or for my future, but himself. He could not, in good faith, let me rot in the Vale until I am old and withered, so instead he calls me home, only so he can be rid of me for good. Nothing that fool has ever done has ever been for anyone except for himself–even now, he allows you and your father to rule in his stead, slipping the realm and his family into chaos and not willing to step in and protect anyone but himself–”

The room went dead silent after the loud clap of Alicent’s palm across the princess’s cheek. Both women gasped, Y/n reaching to prod at her swelling cheek while Alicent collected herself.

“You forget yourself. Your father is the king, and you will treat him as such. Everything your father does is in honour of your mother and the love he holds for you and the memories of her that he sees in you,” Alicent gulped, looking away as tears fell over the princess’s cheeks, “Lady Mathilde will be removed from court on the morrow. I should have never allowed her to accompany you in the first place. You will accompany me to the Sept for prayer tomorrow morning, and you will be taking extended lessons with the Septa. You will break your fast and sup with only myself or alone, and you will learn to respect your father, the king, and me, your queen. Now go to bed, and bathe yourself tomorrow morning–Your sin alone is enough to disgrace the sept, let alone any physical signs of it.”

With that, Alicent turned and fled the room, rushing down the stairs and ignoring the greetings of the white cloaks patrolling the halls as she marched into her chambers. She paused, raising her hands to grasp at her face in frustration. 

She cursed silently, then quickly blessed herself. Shaking her head, she began to pull at the laces of her own robe, falling into her plush bed and curling into herself. She was still for a few moments, waiting for her handmaidens to put out the candles and leave the room before she rolled onto her back, shakily pulling her skirt up to her hips and slipping her fingers between her thighs, head rolling back in both pleasure and annoyance at how wet she had become from watching the princess in such a primal, exposed state, breasts heaving with her stuttered breaths and husky moans. Alicent felt that angry bubbling eating away at her gut, intense jealousy surging through her at the thought of that girl touching her, tasting her in the most intimate way possible–what Alicent wouldn’t give to know how it felt to taste a Targaryen princess, a thought she had not entertained in many years.

Alicent grunted, hips stuttering into her own touch as her brows furrowed, unable to find a steady enough rhythm. She quickly rolled herself over, face pressed into her pillow and back arching to lift her dripping core into the air. She reached beneath herself, quickly moving to circle her clit with a steadier, more confident pace. A surprise jolt of pleasure wracked her body, shocked at how sensitive she was with that first touch as a heavy, dragged out moan filtered out of her, brows creasing in concentration as she fell into a steady, but rapidly quickening pace. Her fist tightened into the sheets, arm tensing to push herself up into a sitting position, legs widening impossibly further as she began riding her own fingers, hips stuttering as she reached her peak, and then gradually slowed to a stop. She slid her fingers out of herself, gliding them up her body until she was able to wrap her lips around them, tasting her own juices and imagining it was the princess’s instead. When she finally collapsed back on the bed, rolling onto her back and taking heaving breath as her heart slowed to a normal, steady beat. She laid there silently for a few moments before she finally closed her eyes in embarrassment, cheeks burning red at the memory of what she had done, and more importantly, what had stirred her on.

In the following weeks, she noticed the princess’s behaviour reverted to one that was more akin to how she had acted when she had returned from Vale. In the public eye, she had continued to portray the perfect princess, years worth of practised grace and charisma coming to aid her in impressing the visiting suitors, and even regularly accompanied Alicent to the sept for prayer. Alicent wondered, in the beginning, if she truly just had been in need of a reality check, to be put in her place in order for her to behave. Then, Alicent realised, no one–especially someone so deviant as the princess–returns to the light so easily without still being tempted by the sins of their past. The Hightower queen knew better than anyone that the princess was most certainly still indulging in her desires, and Alicent had just made it more difficult for herself to catch the princess in the act by sending Lady Mathilde away. 

For now, at least, the queen would have to settle with this arrangement. In truth, there was nothing that she could truly do to stop the girl from doing as she pleased, she just hoped she would keep it a private matter. That way, the queen would not have to deal with the matter, nor would she find herself in the position of witnessing and being influenced by the princess’s depravity. 

In fact, Alicent found herself coming to enjoy the princess’s company. She was, after all, dangerously charismatic and carried a wit that kept the queen on her toes. On a personal level, she truly did feel for the princess; her father made little effort to know her after months apart, and yet she was being forced into a marriage with some lord that she doesn't even know for his advantage. Alicent was once in a similar position, and she had a deep understanding of exactly why the young woman was so hostile towards her father.

The eldest son of House Tyrell seemed to be an ideal match for their own young princess. He was handsome, and seemed to have focused much of his time on earning a greater understanding of the princess’s Valyrian culture and heritage. He seemed quite taken with the silver-haired beauty, stealing her away to the dance floor at any given opportunity during the grand feast being held in his honour. Alicent was glad to see it, hoping that this issue would be resolved easily enough once she was focused on a husband of her own, but that itching feeling of suspicion at the base of her spine returned as she watched the princess be dragged away by her potential betrothed’s elder sister, spinning around the dancefloor hand in hand. 

The queen found herself lost in her cups that night. She had been sitting in between her frail husband and the droning lady of Highgarden, her high-pitched voice turning into an annoying ringing in her ears as she watched over the crowd, emerald eyes constantly in search of her stepdaughter in the crowd. On top of everything else, Aegon had been acting up once more, and Rhaenyra’s insistent involvement in her sister’s betrothal leading to the king’s heir, her husband, and all five of her children arriving in King’s Landing. 

She had found it difficult to relinquish some of her everyday activities with the princess to Rhaenyra, who had been at her side since they had arrived, fingers gracing her cheeks affectionately and insisting on doing her sister’s hair on her own. The youngest of Aemma’s children did not belong to the red haired woman, that much she already knew, but Rhaenyra’s presence seemed to pose a threat to Alicent.

Her wandering mind had drawn her eyes to the heir to the throne, where she and her husband stood off to the side conversing with some other lords. She shook her head, rolling her neck back as Lady Tyrell’s blabbering returned to her. Her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for the recognisable head of silver braids amongst the court, lips curling down as she failed to find her. 

Alicent grasped her cup, downing the remainder of the sweet wine and forcing herself to her feet. She barely offered Lady Tyrell a glance as she excused herself, quickly manoeuvring through the crowd. The queen spared no time, immediately turning and taking the far too familiar route to the princess’s chambers, though she only made it about halfway there before she discovered exactly where the princess had escaped to. 

Princess Y/n of House Targaryen was pressed against the stone pillar in a small alcove, helplessly pressing herself against the full figure of the eldest Tyell girl, moaning wantonly into their kiss and paying no mind to the fact that her stepmother had just caught her for the second time. 

“I thought we were past this,” Alicent frowned, the lack of emotion in her voice betraying exactly how enraged she truly was, sending a nervous shiver down Y/n’s spine. 

“Your Grace,” the Tyrell girl curtsied, separating herself from the princess in embarrassment. Alicent felt a touch of relief at how flustered she appeared in comparison to Lady Mathilde. “I–I…”

“Leave us,” Alicent did not remove her eyes from the princess, who shrunk into herself as the lady rushed down the corridor, barely gone for a moment before the queen was grabbing her bicep with a bruising grip and dragging her up the stairs. “I cannot believe you, just when I thought I had gotten through to you.”

The door to Y/n’s bedchambers slammed shut behind them, Alicent dragging the younger woman across the room and throwing her onto the bed, face first. The queen felt her own face burning red, unsure if it was caused by the burning anger inside of her, the wine, or the familiar feeling squeezing at the bottom of her stomach. The princess whimpered, pushing herself up to attempt to turn and face the queen when Alicent’s hand fisted itself into her silver locks, forcing her back down on the mattress.

“You will stay, I think I need to get my point across more thoroughly,” Alicent muttered, using her spare hand to tug at the princess’s skirts until her bare ass was left to the cool evening air.

The queen took a moment to admire her soft, plump flesh, dimpling skin leading down to the silver curls that peeked out from between her thighs. The Hightower woman inhaled deeply, collecting herself, before she finally brought her flat palm down against the meat of her ass. The princess cried out, skin singing with pain as her ring-clad fingerprints were burned into her flesh, limbs fighting to escape her punishment, though the queen seemed to be much stronger than she looked. Alicent continued her assault, watching with a sadistic satisfaction as her handprint was left repeatedly in the princess’s skin. 

“You forced my hand,” The queen grunted, “Everything I have done for you, everything everyone has done for you, and you still betray your duties.”

“I’m sorry!” The princess wept, “I tried, I did! I cannot help it.”

Alicent ignored her and the small pang at her heart, continuing to spank the girl before halting as her fingers landed on the apex of her thighs, a squelching sound echoing from the slap as her fingers found her dripping mound. The queen gasped at the wetness that soaked her fingertips, slowly pulling them away to stare at them.

“Look at you,” She muttered, “No matter the circumstance, no matter the woman, you are dripping and desperate.”

She finally released the princess, allowing her to turn and face her, whimpering as her sensitive ass pressed against the textured furs. She stared up at the queen for a few moments, letting out stuttering breaths as silent tears fell down her cheeks, then she pushed herself up, forcing her face into Alicent’s chest as she wrapped her arms around her, sobs wracking her body.

“I am sorry,” she wept, “I cannot help it, believe me. I wish I was never afflicted like this, but everytime I try to stay on a straight path, I find myself lost once more.”

Alicent’s hand came up to grasp at the back of the princess’s head, engulfing her in an affectionate embrace that was frighteningly soft in comparison to her previous actions. She whispered calming words to her, forcing her face back so she could speak directly to her.

“I understand,” She said, “Everyone struggles with their own afflictions…myself included.” 

“Even you?” The princess sniffled, “You seem so perfect.”

Alicent scoffed, “If I were perfect, my children would be well behaved, the realm would be at peace, and I would be satisfied without my own guilt and sin.”

Y/n exhaled, eyes flickering to the queen’s pouty lips for a brief moment before leaning up, nose brushing against hers. Their breaths mingled, lips ghosting one another’s in order to test the waters, allowing for Alicent to pull away before the decision was made.

She did not.

Alicent wishes she could blame the alcohol that she had consumed, but as her lips crashed against those of the princess, she was brought back to the many nights she had brought herself to her blissful peak with swirling thoughts of the silver-haired woman. Her hands grasped her face, holding her tightly in place as she continued her new assault, this time one that the princess was glad to receive. 

“We will fight this together,” the queen murmured, “We will help one another.”

The princess nodded, desperately pushing her face closer for another kiss, which the queen was happy to offer to her. She moaned at the princess’s taste, the sweetness of her tongue mixed with the sharp taste from the wine she had been drinking. Alicent finally pulled away, forcefully turning the princess around as she made quick work of the lacings of her dress, eagerly helping her remove and step out of the many layers of clothing she’d been wearing. She allowed herself to stare in awe as the princess turned back to face her, breasts heaving in anticipation of the queen’s touch.

“Beautiful,” Alicent murmured, fingers gliding up her sweat-glazed flesh to pinch tightly at one of the princess’s pebbled nipples and smirking at the whimper that escaped her kiss bitten lips. The queen released her touch, turning herself around and calling to the younger woman over her shoulder, “Take off my clothes.”

Y/n giggled behind her, hands finding the queen’s waist as her lips trailed her pale neck. Her voice escaped her in a husky whisper, breath hot against the queen’s ear as her fingers slowly pulled at the green gown, “Yes, Your Grace.” 

Alicent felt a shiver of desire ripple down her spine as her own clothes joined the princess’s in a heap on the floor. She turned as soon as her chemise removed and her skin was left completely bare, pushing herself as close to the princess as possible and capturing her lips in another kiss, both women fighting each other with ferocity and passion before Alicent finally subdued the princess’s attempt to seize control. Y/n pulled back, lips trailing down the queen’s neck, shoulder, and collar bones before she went to work on her breasts. Her tongue dragged over every inch of her bare chest before she finally focused on the hardened pink buds, sucking each into her mouth and offering them equal amounts of attention as she sucked, licked, and nibbled away.

Alicent moaned out, head tilting back as she felt the pleasure course through her. The thick red curls between her thighs felt matted with the amount of juices that had escaped her, and she’d finally had enough. She pulled the younger woman away from her breast, noting the whimper of disappointment that left her lips. Alicent kissed her again, indulging the princess’s desperation as she kissed back eagerly, before she pushed her back, pinching her cheeks together to force her lips into a pout.

“Get on your knees,” Alicent ordered, “Show your queen the fruits of the company that you keep.”

The princess wasted little time, kneeling between the queen’s thighs, leaning forward with an exploratory lick into the mass of red curls. Alicent gasped at the contact, fingers curling into the younger woman’s hair and forcing her face closer. The princess had not been at work for five minutes before Alicent raised her leg, resting her foot on the edge of the bed next to them, using extra support to begin thrusting her hips forward. She chased her orgasm ferociously, rolling her hips against the princess’s tongue, gripping her hair tightly as she guided her face into her and fucked her face ruthlessly.

“Gods, yes,” she sighed, staring down at the violet eyes of her stepdaughter, “You were born for this, to obey your queen.”

She let out a cry of pleasure as her orgasm rolled over her, caused by another person for the first time in her life. Alicent continued to roll her hips, slowing until the aftershocks came to a halt. She pulled her hips back, hauling the princess back to her feet to catch a taste of her own juices on the princess’s lips. Her hands carded down her back, down her back and grasping at the meat of her ass snugly, completely forgetting the tenderness of the flesh until the princess whimpered in discomfort. 

“My apologies, sweetness,” Alicent instead turned to gently massage the flesh, “Allow me to make it better.”

The princess was malleable for the queen as she helped her onto the bed, pushing her onto her belly and forcing her ass up into the air. The queen felt a stab of guilt as she stared down at the swollen skin of her ass, bringing her lips down to press gentle, loving kisses into the flesh before her fingers gripped the skin as softly as possible to spread her cheeks, mouth watering at the sight of her silver curls glistening with arousal. Alicent wasted no more time, pressing her face into the princess’s core with vigour, tongue working her tight hole before lowering to suck at her swollen and throbbing clit. The sounds escaping the princess were more than enough to encourage Alicent’s movements, working her sweet bud until her own release was gushing out, oozing onto Alicent’s tongue. The queen moaned at the taste, slurping up every last drop that she could find. 

Cries of pleasure left the princess’s lip as she shook with the aftershocks, offering no resistance as the Queen rolled her onto her back and paying no attention to what she was doing until another burst of pleasure shot through her at the unexpected feeling of Alicent’s hot, wet core pressing against her own. Both women sighed at the contact, Alicent’s hands coming to rest on either side of the princess’s head as she rocked her hips, pressing their lips together in a weak attempt at silencing their moans as she found a steady pace. 

The only sound heard in the room was the soft clapping of skin on skin, a squelching of their juices mingling together, and the desperate moans escaping both women. Y/n’s hands gripped Alicent’s waist tightly, raking her eyes over the queen’s body as she rode her, fingers crawling up her torso to find her breasts, squeezing and tugging on her heavy breasts. 

“Your Grace,” the princess cried out, back arching off of the mattress, “Pleas–Your Grace, I am close.”

“As am I,” Alicent muttered, head tilted back with her eyes closed, “Gods, gods, yes.”

The princess reached her peak first, body thrashing in the sheets as the wetness between her thighs dripped down onto the sheets, soaking both herself and the queen above her in her juices. Then, Alicent fell over the ledge, fisting the sheets tightly with one hand while the other grasped the princess’s throat, pulling her up to kiss her once more. 

The queen collapsed on top of the princess, red curls mixing with sliver as they lay entirely pressed together. Alicent pressed sweet kisses to the princess’s face, soothing her with gentle praises as she smoothed her hair away. 

“I love you,” The princess muttered, her voice strained with dehydration, “I love you, I love you.”

The queen fought back a smile, “I know, my sweet girl. I know.”

They kissed, this time slow and yearning, a silent agreement of the change in their relationship.

“This changes things, more than you know,” the queen sighed, “But the decision has been made, and I will do everything in my power to protect you from the dangers of our desires.”

“As will I,” the princess whispered, leaning up to taste the queen’s lips once more, both completely unaware of the figure peering at them from the doorway.

[hananoami]

[ 06/17 - 06/30 ] SHC Team set up & Stat Attributes

Stellactrum Requirements

Team A: Silverbay Division ( 5 ) Pearl memories + ( 1 ) Violet memory

Team B: Goldbird Division ( 4 ) Ruby memories + ( 1 ) Sapphire memory

Team C: Soaria Division ( 3 ) Emerald memories + ( 1 ) Amber memory

Making an effort to write up this post right away instead of putting it off, potentially forgetting to do so like last seasons... let's get into it~ The follow screenshots below is an in-depth write up of my current teams set up and stat attributes for this season of Senior Hunter Contest. The season commenced on Monday 06/17 and ends on Sunday 06/30. An end of the season review post will be written up and link [here] at a later time.

(Team A) Silverbay Division w/ 𝓡𝒂𝒇𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒍

For this season the following memory receives a +40% DMG Boost from seasonal bonus: [Blossoms] + [Daybreak's Touch]. Having a Perfect Match with the Protofield Stellactrum means [Resonance Skills] can break 2 Protocore Shield Layers in a single strike and increase DMG to weakness by 100%. Matching the Protofield Stellactrum attributes also gives an additional bonus. For each matched Stellactrum, increases DMG boost 5.0% (currently increased: 30.0%) and DMG Reductions 5.0% (currently increased 30.0%). ♡ Affinity Bonus: 98 (Rafayel’s Protective Skill) When you take a fatal blow, Rafayel teleports to you, blocks a hit, and counter attacks. Enemies will be knocked back. [ HP 3800 || DEF 95 || ATK 190 ] Pair Bonus [TP] - Starting Effect: increases team DMG by 8%, reduces team DMG taken by 8%, and increases Crit DMG by 10% when fighting along side Sea Spirits. - Duo Rank 1: boosts Ardent Oath charge by 20%. The starting level of Sea Spirits rises to Lv. 2, and Sea Spirits will last for 5 more seconds. - Duo Rank 2: increases Energy Charge cap by 1. During Heavenly Rain, recovery rate of energy charge is increased by 30%.

5☆ Temple’s Promise (pearl/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 2 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Temple’s Sunset (pearl/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 2 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Tipsy Invitation (pearl/lunar) Lv 60 using +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Fireworks Vow (pearl/lunar) Lv 60 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Private Trip (pearl/lunar) Lv 60 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Whispers (violet/lunar) Lv 80 rank 1 using +15 SSR protocores

(Team B) Goldbird Division w/ 𝓩𝒂𝒚𝒏𝒆

For this season the following memory receives a +40% DMG Boost from seasonal bonus: [Snowfall Embrace] + [Snowfall Encounter] + [Forest's Breeze] + [Forest's Slumber]. Having a Perfect Match with the Protofield Stellactrum means [Resonance Skills] can break 2 Protocore Shield Layers in a single strike and increase DMG to weakness by 100%. Matching the Protofield Stellactrum attributes also gives an additional bonus. For each matched Stellactrum, increases DMG boost 5.0% (currently increased: 30.0%) and DMG Reductions 5.0% (currently increased 30.0%). ♡ Affinity Bonus: 100 (Zayne’s Protective Skill) When you take a fatal blow, Zayne teleports to you, blocks a hit, and counter attacks. Enemies will be knocked back. [ HP 4000 || DEF 100 || ATK 200 ] Pair Bonus [SF] - Starting Effect: increases team DMG by 8%, and reduces DMG taken by 8%. When the enemy is in [Shattered Jade] state, reduces its DEF by 8%. - Duo Rank 1: boosts Ardent Oath charge by 20%. When fighting alongside Master of Fate, the enemy's weakened state is extended by 2 seconds. Each time an enemy in weakened state is hit, the damage it sustains increases by 0.5%, up to a maximum of 10%. - Duo Rank 2: increases Energy Charge cap by 1. When [Jadesunder] is triggered, restores a small amount of Energy Charge. - Duo Rank 3: increases team DMG by 8%. Increases the DMG of [Jadesunder] by 100%. When [Orchid Metamorphosis] is replaced by [Piercing Rain], there's one more attempt of using [Piercing Rain], and the cooldown time will be reduced by 0.5s upon [Piercing Rain] hitting an enemy. The cooldown reduction can be triggered once when unleashing [Piercing Rain].

5☆ Snowfall Embrace (ruby/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Snowfall Encounter (ruby/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Business Trip (sapphire/lunar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +15 SSR protocores

5☆ Medical Rescue (ruby/lunar) Lv 80 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Drunken Intimacy (ruby/lunar) Lv 80 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Cozy Afternoon (ruby/lunar) Lv 80 rank 3 using +12 SSR protocores

(Team C) Soaria Division w/ 𝓧𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒓

For this season the following memory receives a +40% DMG Boost from seasonal bonus: [Precious Bonfire] + [Shining Light]. Having a Perfect Match with the Protofield Stellactrum means [Resonance Skills] can break 2 Protocore Shield Layers in a single strike and increase DMG to weakness by 100%. Matching the Protofield Stellactrum attributes also gives an additional bonus. For each matched Stellactrum, increases DMG boost 5.0% (currently increased: 25.0%) and DMG Reductions 5.0% (currently increased 25.0%). ♡ Affinity Bonus: 98 (Xavier’s Protective Skill) When you take a fatal blow, Xavier teleports to you, blocks a hit, and counter attacks. Enemies will be knocked back. [ HP 3800 || DEF 95 || ATK 190 ] Pair Bonus [MN] - Starting Effect: increases team DMG by 8%, and reduces team DMG taken by 8%. The Enemy [Moonstruck] is extended by 3 seconds. - Duo Rank 1: boosts Ardent Oath charge by 20%. [Moonlight] will attach 1 stack of [Phasing Moon] to the enemy, increasing DMG dealt by 25%. - Duo Rank 2: increases Energy Charge cap by 1. When [Moonlight] is activated, the cooldown time of your Active and Resonance Skill is reduced by 0.5 seconds, and a small amount of energy charge is restored. - Duo Rank 3: increases team DMG by 8%. When your Active Skill or Charged Attack hits a target with [Moonstruck], [Moonlight] will be activated, boosting CRIT DMG by 30%.

5☆ Midnight Whispers (amber/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Midnight Rainfall (amber/solar) Lv 80/awakened rank 3 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Romantic Afternoon (emerald/lunar) Lv70 rank 1 using +9 and +12 SSR protocores

5☆ Fluffy Trap (emerald/lunar) Lv70 rank 2 using +9 SSR protocores

4☆ A Captured Moment (emerald/lunar) Lv60 using +9 SSR protocores

5☆ Unique Aftertaste (ruby/lunar) Lv80 rank 3 using no protocores, because i forgot to equip it...

absolute despair.... but it's okay. i don't wan to redo all the fights having already reached 36/36 medals this season much thanks to Lumiere and his powerful kit.

[musemash]

Trumped By Justice, Part 1: ALRIGHT MR. DEMILLE, I'M READY FOR MY PERP WALK! – by the Canuck Crank & the Lone Antifa – updated & expanded Aug 9, 2023

MERRY ARRESTMAS, y'all! Reality TV show CELEBRITY APPREHENDED recently had its world premiere on all the best American networks. The day's entertainment began with the spectacle of PRECEDENT TRUMPERY's motorcade arriving at a NY courthouse, besieged by salivating media.

But rather than being greeted as a conquering hero in his hometown, the DEAR MISLEADER's hopes were quickly dashed by the notable absence of any furious supporters armed to the teeth. The high point came when the chastened MARTYR IN CHIEF had to restrain himself while the judge arrainged on his parade, and told him to watch the language coming out of his big orange piehole.

Clearly, this new series promises to be the most exciting phenomenon in pop culture history – and SILLY WABBITS such as ourselves are naturally delighted to shamelessly jump on the GLOATING BANDWAGON with the best available festive music, jovial comedy, and brutal cheap shots. So why are we being such CRUEL HOBBITS about this poor delusional man's heartrending dilemma?

You might well arsk, and we fearlessly answer. We are merely humble INK-STAINED WRETCHES, who have been toiling away on posts of this sort for the past decade – often showcasing high quality music videos, cartoons, memes, and commentaries from many different sources, in our quest for meaning, purpose, and free danish pastries.

We began this quixotic enterprise by expressing our oppostion to the worst excesses of the treacherous TEAPUBLICANS, and their CHRISTOFASCIST Religious Right enablers; and from 2016 onward, we broadened our efforts to focus primarily on mob boss wannabe DON VETO TRUMPLEONE, and his deranged MAGACULT.

After weathering many a moral and philosophical storm, we have decided that it is high time we cut back on our commentaries about the ORANGE IMPOTUS. From this point onward, our TRUMPED BY JUSTICE series will consist solely of posts focusing on the DRAMA QUEEN IN CHIEF being actually held legally accountable for his actions.

When (not if) he is locked safely away – preferably in the  maximum security psych ward of DA BIG HOUSE – we will likely celebrate with one last epic post. When he is finally given the comeuppance he deserves, for his most heinous COVFEFELONIES, we will be sorely tempted to DO THE DON JUSTICE by paying his astonishing career due homage – with videos, image galleries, the best available journalism, media editorials, and our own unbridled rant.

If y'all are curious to know what we have learned from all this turmoil, aggravation, despair, and hope, it is best summed up in the videos embedded above – spotlighting ALEC BALDWIN, STORMY DANIELS, STEPHEN COLBERT, RANDY RAINBOW, JOHN DI DOMENICO, and THE INSECT TRUST. The latter item is especially meaningful for us.

It is the Deluxe Redux Extended Remastered Restored Remixed Ultra High Def Director's Cut Special Edition of our INSECT TRUMP music video – which is much nastier and more comprehensive than the shorter version we released in 2021. Taken together, these decidedly different videos are MFF’s double-barrelled personal parting shot aimed directly at DOUBLE AGENT ORANGE. The Redux Edition combines well over 100 harshly truthful cartoons and memes.

The video's music consists of our remix of two compositions written and performed by an innovative but obscure American jazz-rock group. The Insect Trust released two truly classic albums, then disbanded in the early 1970s. One of the songs is an ironic antiwar statement entitled WORLD WAR I SONG; the other is DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE, an early feminist polemic that utilizes political language to bid farewell to a toxic relationship.

To hear all of this fabulous band's available recordings, as well as the gratuitously vicious original version of our own video, be sure to check out the links in THE TRUSTED INSECT section below.

We also present a playlist featuring many more wascally Wandy Wainbow parodies, as well as music from U2; PINK FLOYD; BOB DYLAN; the MAN IN BLACK; PUBLIC ENEMY; TALKING HEADS; PUSSY RIOT, BETTE MIDLER; STEVE POLTZ; MATT MONRO; ROGER WATERS; MAESTRO ZIIKOS; FOUNDERS SING; MATTIE & JORDAN KATTENHORN; ROY ZIMMERMAN; SANDY & RICHARD RICCARDI; DIYorDIE; the ANGRY AMERICAN; and NAPOLEON XIV.

In addition, you'll find lots more classic Colbert; and downright jolly satirical commentary from SNL, JIMMY KIMMEL, JOHN OLIVER, SETH MEYERS, SAMANTHA BEE, TREVOR NOAH, JIMMY FALLON, BILL MAHER, JON STEWART, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN, ANDY GRIFFITH, LIBERAL REDNECK, AL FRANKEN, JORDAN KLEPPER, RUSSELL HOWARD, THE DAILY SHOW, JAMES CORDEN, ROY WOOD JR, JAMES AUSTIN JOHNSON, THE LINCOLN PROJECT, BAD LIP READING, FRANCIS MAXWELL, J-L CAUVIN, TOONING OUT THE NEWS, and BELLINGCAT PRODUCTIONS.

After all these rib-tickling shenanigans, you'll find links to the very best of MFF's previous posts about Yankee politics – with special emphasis on the MANCHURIAN CANTALOUPE, the MAGAGOP PLAGUE, and the RELIGIOUS WRONG. But first, we invite you to check out a simply scintilating excerpt from the DARK LORD TRUMPELTHINSKIN's recent FAUX NOISE interview. After promoting his plan for flogging NFTs of his perp walk, he offered SHAM VANNITY a first edition of his gold plated covfefe mug – complete with autographed mug shot – created especially for CPAC. Then he shared the following excerpt from his 2024 acceptance speech:

“My tremendous indictability makes God sooooooo jealous, my close personal friend Pope Francis calls me his favorite indictmentite whenever I declassify top secret files with my bigly yuuuuuuuge brain, Roy Cohn's ghost says my indictmentitude very strongly stopped windmill cancer after I flushed 15 times, I am quite frankly Nambia’s indictmentalist champion, my poorly educated loyal base of insurrecting 2nd Amendment magamorons considers my perfect phone calls the epitome of smocking hot indictishness, Lindsey Carlson says I've done more for indictianity than anyone in the history of covfefe beans, all the best people are saying President Vladimir Trump’s indictmentosity record is simply unparalleled, and it should be obvious by now that nobody but nobody does STABLE GENIUS LEVEL INDICTMENTIZING better than my bleach-injected forest-raking hurricane-nuking steal-stopping orange-tanned hamberdering self, everyone says so, believe me, am I right?”

CELEBRITY APPREHENTICE ARRESTMAS God's Gonna Cut You Down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJlN9jdQFSc The Donald In The Flesh https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_2NYea1940 Trump Trackdown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSOwlXJj67Y Bullet The Orange Sky https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCXO--JJWFQ Freedumb: Donald Trump Is A Lotta Fun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-98RjrmqO4 Sam Bee Rips Champion Pussy Grabber https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gk72KC4jWc Make America Great Again (Or Else!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-bKFo30o2o Pigs (Three Different Trumps) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWLBtMz5OuY Bible Trumpers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=191kow6kLUM Trump & Obama, Sitting In DC, A-W-K-W-A-R-D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJDD9WCxYQI Trump In The Dead Zone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_snbagejb8s A Golden Opportunity For Trump Jokes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn6hAD_1Xr0 Bad Lip Reading Of The Don's Inauguration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gneBUA39mnI Dylan & Trump: A Collaboration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EAaWqsA6ZU Hey God I'll Trade You Trump For Cohen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3N8F84RRhlY ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ballad Of A Con Man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvW_lXX9pI4 Russia Ties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYgi5MyMqCs 'Tis The Season For Treason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbXO52kWT9g Sweet Indictment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8vD8ZP-eMI Church & Destroy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dfAd0IglrA The Boy From Mar-A-Lago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IK7oa7AjCNM Sex With The Don Was 'Textbook Generic' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NeuAFz7NFk The Hero America Deserves Now https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVWwfBafVfc Stormy Daniels Plays 'Never Have I Ever' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ntl5Da1vblI The Trumps They Are A'Changin'   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXHmf4LKFRE You're Not Dreaming: Porn Star Sues President!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ_RUC6Cpgo Trump Voted Least Edible By Cannibal Magazine https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZAPwfrtAFY Stormy's 60 Minutes Ratings Beat Trump's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtqFjTLB8es Trump Vs The World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCjk_NPsIqU The Donald's New Nickname In Washington   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLSdfiVJ8r0 Trump Goes After Anomynuss Source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtq_aOYsdKk ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stormy Critiques Arts & Crafts Display   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ji8i7Wy4mo Trump Gets Mean & Stormy Spanks Back https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRhcYTidHik Rudy Doesn't Know If Colluding Is A Crime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66Xe2X8b5OM Movie Villain Tells Fake News His Evil Plot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7Svl4xdmg8 Witch Hunt Cell Block Tango https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihvgfU_g7LI Was The Smoke Monster Real Or Not? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_7wPf9geSM No Obstruction, No Collusion, No Anything https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLFZbsWcJkw There's Some Insane Shit In The Mueller Report https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MursWMNONo Don-Splaining Poop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4djwkJ3H9Gc Since When Is Breaking The Law A Crime? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taMOAVQLtbM Like A Kidney Stone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80ejAqLSMmg The Don Talks Crono Virus   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcuM__iw8mA Psycho Killer Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecuoF1EDxkc Cheeto Christ Stupid-Czar https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW2SEpWWqXM Donald Complains About Scooby Doo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vk-ZBYyjsko Bob Dylan Interviews Donald Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSlJB-gd7HU State Of The Union {STFU} https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQvDRe79F8k ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who Is Donald J. Trump? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0KDBBaQrYA Hymn For The 81% https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvkcmQAdiZA Donnie's Needle Drop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xczLxJWjko Donald's Thoughts On Final Fantasy VII https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8l5aldNnI4 Stuck Inside Of Mar-A-Lago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojYTcdMG4zk Trump's A Loser, Baby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuJJQZ3LNCA Trump's Farewell Speech Was Soaring Oratory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75frb_9hZp4 Trump's Presidency In Six Minutes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2FNujc0UM4 GoodBye Donnie! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRBe7DIS2q0 'Pee Pee Tape' Back In The News https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPcRApugVyg Jokerman Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQBq_jt_eVE Unboxing His Last Classified Docs Stash https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6qso-Mt_tg Old Vs New Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5Q9K0sXmAk Trump Will Make Jail Great Again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S00_gTJWzUo The Top 16 Trump Investigations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKVMnmP-hng ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Covfefe Treason Song https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemocrats/videos/508858894751104 From The White House To Jailhouse Rock https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieClfnIZUPg Lock Him Up Yesterday!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdSZRkeQfnk The Don's Last Week As An Unindicted Man? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8nEnO2jTXs Trump's Mafia Enforcer Shyster Gets Grabby https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqBHYwinEoA Individual One Predicts His Own Indictment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw3zTUvtv1o The Dumbest Criminal In The World https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UACDsKJkim0 Former President Takes Baby Steps https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPnpWjyFzxI Getting Arrested, Donnie? For Which Crime? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDxOHAEfLyQ Arraign Check: Trump Still At Extra Extra Large https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=994SygqEovU Belling The Cat On Twitter https://twitter.com/EliotHiggins/status/1637928223848767492 Protesters Plan ‘Patriot Moat’ To Protect Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjPIFdH-4NM Eerie Trump Arrest Deepfakes Spread Across Twitter https://nypost.com/2023/03/22/chilling-deepfakes-claiming-to-show-trumps-arrest-spread-across-twitter/ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fallon Interviews Trump Ahead Of Indictment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onmv_W2TLBU Fake Trump Arrest Pix Take Over Social Media https://uproxx.com/viral/donald-trump-running-from-the-cops-fake-photos/ Fox Melts Down Over Trump Indictment Chaos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e4DiyBDrBg AI Trump Fights Off Police In Viral Images https://www.marca.com/en/lifestyle/us-news/2023/03/21/6419ff1fca47411a468b4587.html Tough Guy Trump Lawyer Humiliated On TV https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obwLTT_18qc Trump Under Arrest – At Least In Viral AI Images https://www.indiatoday.in/trending-news/story/donald-trump-is-under-arrest-at-least-according-to-these-viral-ai-images-2350077-2023-03-22 Donald Corleone Excited About His Perp Walk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPrg8GVdIy4 Trump AI Arrest Images Are Fooling People https://americanmilitarynews.com/2023/03/pics-fake-trump-arrest-photos-made-by-ai-fooling-people-dont-be-tricked/ Klepper Vs Trump Indictment Protesters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUeG2rFg_6U Man We Knew Was Criminal May Be Criminal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R64gf8pLwMw Will Donald Smile For Cameras During Arrest? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPmdYjrqNlI ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who's Gettin' Locked Up Now, Bitch? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X1BZ7bBaY8 John Wick Trump Threatens 'Death & Destruction' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvv6G5t6hNQ Kanye West Wing Gets Wacko In Waco https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdS0LOxac3E George Washington To Trump: 'Not Cool, Dude!' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64yhNXXixP4 Arrest Is Yet To Come For Manson & Garfunkel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWN4pK7TT4o The Unwanted Man Asks 'Why Mea Culpa'? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lPpFJIW4M Colbert’s Interview Of Hannity’s Trump Interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mcmHRCjCpM GOP Signs NDA With Faux Noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3v-64l3HlQ Enquirer Crony Could Get Trump Indicted https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqezkOiFQJo Trump January 6 Song Profiteering https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bncVV3kKGfQ Star Spangled Tanner Jury Leaves Us Hanging https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-YkSTHz_PM Let's Put Trump In A Delorean With Doc Brown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AciRF0nNPHg The Problem: Trump Indictment Watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVJkzwwiaus It's Almost As If Trump Wants A Gag Order https://crooksandliars.com/2023/04/its-almost-if-trump-wants-gag-order-he ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- News That Puts A Smile On Your Face https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2zNijpPHiQ Jail To The Chief! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqHKCIzNJ0s He's So Indicted & He Just Can't Hide It https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NadzavBCQbs Trump Indictment (For Real Though) mar31/23 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGDJ9pLnULM On Trump Indictment Day, Twitter Is Good Again https://www.aol.com/news/trump-indictment-day-twitter-good-004940044.html He's Indicted (And It Feels So Good) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc1iiuMW8qs Trump Reacts To His Indictment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jToToCI1OPo Why Can't They Let Me Golf? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-S504mxg7U Is It Wrong To Jerk Off To A Mug Shot? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7GtfvuE080 Trump Bop Legal Defense Fund https://twitter.com/nbcsnl/status/1642372969014996993 Fox & GOP in Hysterics Over The Donald's Indictment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_GQXKbzvTw The Don Back In Trump Tower For Arrestmas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yvjiKizyng GOP Insanity Boiling Over https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIvSw3x3hWY The Don Prepares For His Mug Shot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8F6Tv3canc ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- April Insanity On Arraignment Eve https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-11iag36wFU President Fraud https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKdwIRgmoiE Trump Indictment Fallout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui20oOOzsAc Only The Classiest Felonies For The Don https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUsGufzBrSs Breakin’ The Law In New York City https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oqtJq3eTsI The Craziest Day In New York History https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhHweGmFXeA The First Time Anything's Ever Dawned On Him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GY6iGxf4mYQ Bail To The Chief https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEkFjLQ1yho Klepper Meets GOP Rising Star Santos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFIsotS2t1M Maybe Trump Thinks He's In The Truman Show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWXZkHTPI5Q NYC Celebrates The End Of A Biblical Plague https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1DLRteWIe8 Why Do They Keep Bringing Soros Into This? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5qy8Rh7PE4 Team Trump Sells T-Shirts With Phony Mug Shot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW1UM8GSzyQ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Donald's Wild Indictment & Mar-a-Lago Meltdown https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u6rnwtTqjQ Trump Indictment Boosts Cable News Ratings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IsRGfS900s GOP Begs For Money For Billionaire Defendant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq8EJfqozTw The Most Hilariously Embarrassing Crime Imaginable https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld1151WZBoI Trump's Looking Like A Rejected Tussauds Exhibit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcH_vjZxbX0 The Most Innocent Man In American History https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX2tpBZhC54 All The Crazy Outside The Courthouse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN8lGAreS6Q Trump Is Tupac, Mandela, & Jesus https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yMsgQpnqlk Trump: Courthouse Employees Were Crying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zu0ji80P8eM Trump Blab Fest Warns Against Nuclear Warming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhFs-BK7mN4 'Demonic' Ex-Potus Goes Back To His Happy Place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WR2XSBEtJo Trump Has More Active Cases Than Covid Does https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSSjpqUTId4 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Paying Hush Money Was All Part Of The Job https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a44600101/stormy-daniels-hush-money-judge-response/ Bizarre Highlights From Trump's Tucker Interview https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgO73KX3GYM Dear Donald: 'New York Hates You!' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-Nd74_YHy8 Courthouse Calls Out Lies About Staff Crying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8CuepUT-LM Indictment Requiem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMRxo_LV7K0 The Trump Indictment Commemorative Coin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqj08MeOyaQ Loser In The Wind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gW2SEpWWqXM Jan 6 Prison Choir Had It Comin’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB_gXGQnIs0 The Chosen One's Church Photo-Op https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Q7tgb2OtQ The Ultimate Trump Insult https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbBKMhpt-zE A Trump Face In The Crowd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zzCQLyNnIg From Russia With Law https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ksCKXm6fiY They're Coming To Take Don Away Ha-Haaaah! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kAi26r99_0

THE TRUSTED INSECT The Insect Trump: Alternative Edition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_ulH4E3qrA The Insect Trust: Full Album https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHv6400lSgQ&list=PLJC5bOVBufwCOjTp0_HH0vqy-oPOcbSVW&ab_channel=TheInsectTrust-Topic Declaration Of Independence: Music Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5xEtmwAvuI Hoboken Saturday Night: Full Album https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONKHIc8e68g Declaration Of Independence: Live   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dyVbz-p7R4

AMERICA'S WORST SEX PEST FINALLY MEETS HIS MATCH https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/718184769630994432/trumped-by-justice-part-2-americas-worst-sex TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY NOW OPEN TO PUBLIC https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/720157024444383232/trumped-by-justice-part-3-trump-presidential SAVAGE EPITAPHS FOR THE RELIGIOUS WRONG https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/153445482915/savage-epitaphs-for-the-religious-wrong-by-the RUDE AWAKENINGS FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE GRIFTER https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/705684336822894592/gallery-1-still-champion-2-the-essence-of HOW END TIMES PORN WENT MAINSTREAM https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/99606825810/how-end-times-porn-went-mainstream-by-david-d BLOOD-RED TSUNAMI MUTATES INTO SLIMY PINK SWILL https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/700606693896290304/blood-red-tsunami-mutates-into-slimy-pink-swill FAUX NOISE GETS A SURPRISE COMEUPPANCE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/170478882655/faux-noise-gets-a-surprise-comeuppance-by-david DA GANG DAT COULDN’T COUP STRAIGHT https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/639339651499474944/photo-gallery-the-coup-before-christmas-meets CAPTAIN AMERICA’S PREMATURE BURIAL https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/651868087388372992/trumpery-swan-song-act-2-captain-americas ANTIFA ARTS THERAPY FOR USA’S DAY OF RECKONING https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/672616628600635392/antifa-arts-therapy-for-usas-day-of-reckoning EVERYBODY KNOWS HE’S IN TROUBLE – EXCEPT TRUMP! https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/170830134135/everybody-knows-hes-in-trouble-except-trump-by ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRITE SIDE OF WHITE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/189367905645/always-look-on-the-brite-side-of-white-by-the UNCLE SAM’S MIRACLE CURE FOR THE COMMON PEOPLE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/660275563772215296/resistance-tribute-part-4-uncle-sams-miracle RITUAL DANCES OF THE FASCIST DRAMA QUEEN https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/186925194050/mff-presents-ritual-dance-of-the-fascist-drama REBEL MUSIC FOR A MERRY MAY DAY https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/49345959815/image-gallery-1-woody-guthrie-with-his-famous CONFRONTING THE CORONA PERIL WITH HOPE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/613216930403418112/confronting-the-corona-peril-with-hope-by-the LIGHTING A BOMBSHELL WITHOUT A SAFETY FUSE https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/623753370829783040/lighting-a-bombshell-without-a-safety-fuse-by WHEN U2 BULLETED THE ORANGE SKY https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/666735324211429376/resistance-tribute-part-7-when-u2-bulleted-the GIVING DA BUM’S RUSH TO PRECEDENT TRUMPERY https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/189338875255/giving-da-bums-rush-to-precedent-trumpery-by MEMORIAL TRIBUTE TO THE PARASITE IN CHIEF https://musemash.tumblr.com/post/654857478407897088/trumpery-swan-song-act-5-memorial-tribute-to-the

[enkisstories]

Ulrike: “For your training we’re going to summon a couple of spectres. They’re semi-sentient blobs of lingering emotions, in this case those of the prisoners who were once held in this room. The most persistent ones are the DEFs.”

Markus: “Devs? As in “developers”?”

Ulrike: “No. As in “Daniel leaves his Emotional Fallout all over the place”.

Red DEFs are Daniel’s Deathwish for Connor. They’re pretty rare, but vicious. Should they - or any other reds - appear, you run and let me handle this. Blue spectres are Daniel’s Doubts and green ones are Daniel’s Dedication to his family. But we may get spectres created by other prisoners and even by the Captains Reed and Anderson. This basement is pretty lived-in in this regard.”

Hugo: “Are spectres everywhere?”

Ulrike: “Pretty much, yes. When a certain threshold gets crossed, they will materialize on their own, and then we get what is commonly called Haunted Lots. - Here they come! Ah, blue ones, nice! Do as I showed you!”

The surest way to deal with spectres is to give them gifts and the simplest method to do that is using polaroid photos. For this reason every contestant will be equipped with a camera during episode six.

Orange reaches out to the blue blobs with a warm smile and is rewarded with a set of Holy Candles from the Beyond. They might come in handy during the next task!

Meanwhile Hugo gets a Soul Grail for his efforts. Drinking from one of those confers knowledge one’s previous incarnation possessed.

Despite being an avid reader, Hugo is surprised to find that the grail grants him Creative Writing skill. He hadn’t expected to have been a poet, journalist or the like.

Markus finds that he isn’t liked by the spectres. They reject his gift.

Markus: “Daniel? What have I done to you?!”

Hugo: “You know the man?”

Markus: “He’s my husband’s twin brother... Detroit really is a village, huh?”

Ulrike: “Well, those emotions are from a time before you two met. The spectres don’t know you, but you acted as if you and them were old friends. The blues are a pretty cautious  bunch, they probably assumed you having an ulterior motive.”

And finally Greg discovers that spectres are edible, so he takes the quickest route to making them vanish: Devour them!

Afterwards he got a tooth ache (and Daniel probably scar pain from the psychofeedback - this is third time now that Greg has bitten him).

Emma with her maximum Medium skill didn’t have to take lessons from Ulrike. But she vanquished Markus’ spectre and received candles for this.

[changbinsboobs]

can we learn this ourselves? not just for idols but other areas of interests and do u recommend learning tarot as well? I personally like pendulum for more direct answers yet I would like to boost my other abilities for other things.

Yeah i believe everyone can learn anything. Its like singing or drawing or even math. And its an ability that can be learned, tho some people have a boost(?) idk what exactly to call it but yk some people draw perfectly at the age of 10, lets call that person A, while someone at 30 can barely draw a stick man, thats person B. For both of them to reach "perfection" person A might have to put in minimal effort for 5 years, while person B would have to put in maximum effort for 20 years. Its like that with everything, we all have different gifts, but this doesn't mean skills can't be aquiered

What i know from own experience and what ive heard from other tarot readers its not the same reading for oneself as it is when reading for others, because when reading for yourself theres your own limiting beliefs, blind spots, doubts, delusions etc. So idk if I'd recomend learning tarot if you plan on reading only for yourself. It def helps, but not as much as it would help when reading for others. I recomend pendulums or other forms of divination or clarity when u want to know something for myself. I recommend things that have more to do with the body, than with the mind. Like meditation, dancing, sports, muscle testing, eft, journaling, dump writing etc. Those, although not seeming as catchy as tarot, do help significantly more in gaining stable clarity in my opinion.

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/14/24

12:02 a.m

Something I've noticed as a change for my constant auditory hallucinations is if I listen to chatter aka TV or podcasts or even sometimes when I'm in, "silence," is I hear it like, "screaming" it isn't louder. It's not really a scream.... in volume. It's more like an inaudible, "ahhhhh" like it wants to talk and can't verbalize. It has the same voice. I have been hearing it since the beginning of March.

I assume that is the voice "devocalizing." Like I said it's not loud... or louder. It's def not intelligent, creative or persuasive. It's not getting any quiter than a whispering echo though... it's the same volume but it's this weird, "ahhhhhhhhh" it's clearly trying to talk bc it's the same voice but it's unable to vocalize.

It's also like sometimes it can be really repetitive and I can focus on the screeching of the air conditioner the natural sound and I can turn the voice into the screeching making it sound like it's saying what it is saying but it sounds more nature and its easier to ignore, however I really have to try to do that. It takes focus and effort.

The voice is excessively repetitive and lacks intelligence. It's only intelligent when it repeats my internal monologue. Which it does like 50% of the time, it used to more. I have more quiet thoughts. I feel like that, "ahhh" is truly devocalization occurring. Maybe I'll recover one day but I'm not holding my breath.

I just wish i could meet someone be proven wrong that soulmates don't exist. And just love their children. Feel wanted, needed, be helpful. My hallucination would drastically lessen if I was not isolated and if I was surrounded by people. I've been trying to be social so I don't hallucinate as much, also I don't expect Kristen to lose her license. I don't expect to find a partner. I don't expect to recover. I expect to overdose tbh. It's coming. Especially if Kristen gets her life of luxury when I lost my ability to sit in silence and feel internal peace.

I'd say being a voice hearer was interfering with my ability to find someone but truly I don't even get through the swiping part... none of my personality is getting considered. I took trans off my profile, cause I'll never find someone with that at the top of my bio. Idk what I got to do to pass the swiping test.

I've given up on thinking Elise is my soulmate. What do I think?

She loves her husband, they are happy. I'm happy for them both especially her. I think she cares deeply about me and would be my friend but can't bc of professional constraints that will eventually not be a problem but for now they are. I expect I'll hear from her in 2 years minimum. Maybe 5 years maximum. I expect I may never hear from her.

I still love her, I still think she's my soulmate but not really cause soulmates don't exist. If soulmates existed she would be getting a divorce. If soulmates existed she would message me the only way she knows how. I expect if anything she's going to be my friend eventually and it'll be some insignificant nothing relationship. If I ever get married which won't happen cause no one would be stupid enough to do that, maybe she will be at my wedding smiling. I don't expect her to ever be my girl. I don't expect her to show up.

I do believe we had something special and i believe we may at some point in the future if I'm still here. I don't expect it to be romantic but I don't expect it to be fulfilling. My expectation is she will be like Katelyn or Tee. A BFF but it won't fill this hollowing aloneness anyways. I'll only have that filled by a partner.

I realized to not be delusional at all, I can't expect her to show up. I can't even think she has feelings for me. It's even delusional to believe she cares about me genuinely. I'm going to be delusional in that regard. I remember her eyes and idc what anyone says. I know she cares still. However I have accept the harsh reality that her caring about me does not mean she's ever going to know me personally. The harsh reality is, she's going to live her life where she is, and I'm going to live my life where I am and I'm going to hope and dream she shows up for me. As the months go by I'll cope with abandonment. It's something I'm used to.

I won't dislike her. I won't resent her. I'll root for her silently over here and hope she's happy. That's all I can do.

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

[meowzfordayz]

hi T 💖 how's your day??

just here to talk about our dearest kny hotties

who do think is the clingiest and attention seeking (not to the point it gets too much, but youd notice them do things to get your attention) out of all the hashiras 😌

Heyo Kai. 🌊 M'currently moping over my 65% on my third general chem exam (overall exam average's thankfully 71%, but still 😔). If I don't bomb the final, then I'll def earn a B in the class. I just feel extremely frustrated bc: of all the classes I'm taking this semester, I've put the most effort into the class that I'm doing the worst in (aka general chem). 😆

OOH !! Uh... lemme refer to my "NAMES" list real quick... 😅

Himejima Gyomei: 2/10. Pretty secure, so prob clings and craves a ~normal amount. Still has the usual #tragic backstory tho, so-

Iguro Obanai: 10/10 !!!!! Won't ever explicitly acknowledge/admit it, but c'mon he's totally a mushy, sappy bby. 🥺 4/10 for Kaburamura bc, uh, he is snek? 🐍

Kanroji Mitsuri: 7/10 ?? Basically just her personality (more so physical clinging, less so attention seeking, altho they kinda go hand in hand ??) . 🥰

Kocho Shinobu: 3/10. Is relatively neutral about overly romantic, cutesy behavior, but if you were too nonchalant, then she'd certainly pout a bit. 😠💖

Rengoku Kyojuro: 8/10 — NOT INTENTIONALLY, but lowkey he thrives on your adoration and affection, so he def subconsciously clings and shows off. 😇

Shinazugawa Sanemi: tries to act like 1/10, but is closer to 9/10 ahaha. If he decides to be soft w/ you, then he's gonna be maximum soft. This man doesn't half ass anything. 🤍

Tokito Muichiro: casual 8/10? In a sort of boyish manner, if that makes sense? Similar to Shinobu, he doesn't necessarily seek romantic or cutesy behavior, but absolutely appreciates your pride and encouragement!

Tomioka Giyuu: 2/10 before he's comfortable w/ you; 13/10 after he's comfortable w/ you — only in private tho !! 🤫 In public, still 2/10 lol. 💙

Uzui Tengen: 11/10. I meeean... he's flashy, flamboyant, AND a clingy attention whore. 😌🤭☺️

[af1899]

FEH — [New Heroes & Ascended Laegjarn] banner revealed + thoughts

(Link to video)

Aaaaand... I've been so engrossed with anime I had forgotten this was coming this night... lmao.

Anyway, my usual dump of thoughts and some key info highlights below the cut, I hope there's any info you'll find useful!

Resources

Here are the stats on Ascended Laegjarn, the only unit whose stats were revealed in the trailer, I discounted buffs and base stat boost of speed+3 from [Flame of Múspell] for you:

HP: 40

ATT: 39

SPD: 38

DEF: 30

RES: 18

BST: 160

As for the banner, it is themed after Path of Radiance, Bertram is our free unit and Tanith makes it right onto the 3★/4★ pool as a sword flier.

Thoughts

Well, would you look at that? The leaker gained yet another point of credibility. (Quick, act surprised!)

At any rate...

Volke is added as an infantry red dagger user with quite the kit, which gives the player some flexibility on how he can be built (but we'll ascertain better once we know his stats), but his base kit makes it so that he's best working as a player phase unit, I'm going to guess [Lethality] (which turns out it reduces defenses from foe by ¾ of the maximum, as well as neutralizing passive damage reduction effects, in one strike... it was originally a skill for [Assassins] that, if it activated, would fell an enemy in a single blow) is inheritable, but even if not, it's fine, he's still crawling with some damn nice fodder you might not even need to pour in much effort in taking 2 skills.

Astrid plays out as a sidegrade to Annette, except that Astrid has more mobility and is focused more towards self-defense, and specially movement support, stat stacking for allies and surviving. Also, took I.S. long to add [Spd/Def Bond 4].

Marcia is probably going to play similarly to Fiora but with an updated statline and different weapon, she's the demote, so she'll be easier to run into.

Laegjarn finally gets her Ascended Hero form, which I guess we'll probably see participating in the next episode of {Ice & Flame}, but we can play with her in advance, whether it is fodder or use, shows that Ascended Heroes can surprise us anytime, so if you're looking forward to an OC getting one of those alts, best to assume it could be added anytime. Anyway, Ascended Laegjarn is a purely offensive physical ranged attacker who comes pre-built with mobility and hitting hard in mind, but she can also take physical attacks quite well as her statline is essentially the same as her original form.

So, in a nutshell

This banner doesn't offer anything super broken or that could generate significant changes in the meta game (thankfully), I don't think Laegjarn will be around as Fjorm would, then again, I haven't found Fjorm either, in PvP, shows how good, yet "balanced" they are, in a sense.

I like the artwork in general, and Astrid is so pretty as I remember her but Marcia's artwork preview is promising, it's probably going to be my favorite... and who knows, I might end up building her once she shows up for me.

Plans

Needless to say, I'll skip despite the good value there's to it — kind of like the banner that introduced Ascended Fjorm.

I'll, however, prioritize where to make my free pulls, in this case, I'll aim for colorless, with green being the backup pick, then red and finally blue in the worst case scenario. But the idea is that if I get Ascended Laegjarn, I can pick a third unit for the second boon.

Granted, it'd have been tough to skip if Lucia was here, but she's not, (un)fortunately so I keep saving, guess I mean the leak being more trustworthy in its entirety means I can pull for Idoun without reservations, implying she's going to get a rerun, as doubtful as it is.

The End

Thanks as always for reading my posts if you did, and I hope there's been something you found useful, it'd mean a lot to me. 🙏🏻

Anyway, have a good day.

[solastia]

Day 19

Break My Stride, Yoongi x Jungkook, ABO, 4/4 Chapters, 14k words

YOU KNOW MY DRAMATIC ASS SAVED THIS FOR A FRIDAY! If y'all thought my screeching was annoying before, be prepared for about 10x more screeching and indecipherable noises. As the very wise Deadpool once said, “MAXIMUM EFFORT!”

First off, congratulations because this was your first fic to reach 10k hits (and it’s now at 34K hits, whaaaa??!! A few hundred of those may possibly be from me...possibly...probably...most definitely! lmao)

You know my fave ship is Yoonmin (I don’t take shipping irl seriously, don’t come for me plz) but I absolutely LOVE the dynamics between Kookie and Yoongi in this fic. Your writing, the plot, the dialogue, the whole thing is just top tier deliciousness every step of the way. It is scrumptious, mouth watering, exquisite, uuugh *chef’s kiss* bellissimo!

Ok, LOTS OF SPOILERS BECAUSE THIS FIC IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FICTIONAL STORY AND Y’ALL CAN’T STOP ME, MUAHAHAHA!

In the beginning of the story, you create a sense of home for the audience. We feel like we know these characters, we get a sense that they’ve been a group of friends for a very long time, and they each hold a special part of each other’s lives, and it’s freaking beautiful.

“Yoongi shook his head and started picking the olives off his slice of pizza. When he turns to his right to give the olives away, he realizes why he’d felt something was wrong.”

You see! He hadn’t even realized that Kookie was missing, but he felt like something was off.

Oh! And I wanted to ask you about the idea for a mating run! I’ve never read anything like this before, it was an interesting concept to think about. And this would be Yoongi’s 8th run! Oh babey, he was just waiting for the right mate…

“He wasn’t sure what it was, but the image of Jungkook finding someone during the run made him feel…itchy.”

Our boi is already jealous at just the idea of Kookie finding a mate (other than him ofc, but he doesn’t know that yet, bwahahahaha!!)

“Good idea, you’re going to need all the rest you can get,” Seokjin says with an ominous smirk.”

I SHOULD GIVE YOU THE SAME WARNING SEOKJINNIE!!!

“There were even booth setups for merchandise and food.”

OMG, I could see Hobi or Jin buying some cheesy “I survived the 20__ Run and All I Got Was This Shirt”. Or maybe a beer cozy!

“No, he said that would be pointless because his mate’s a cheating cheater that plays dirty. He said the chances of them covering their scent were high. He’s making sure his den is ready,” Seokjin scoffed.

Yoongi accepted the drink Jimin handed him and chuckled. “Sounds like I might actually like them.”

“You have no idea,” Jin said with a snort”

Yoongi, are you so jaded, so blind by your general saltiness that you are not understanding the very obvious clues being thrown your way?!?!?! Kookie, where are you? Put this man in his place please!!

And then when he was told that Kook bought that house he’d had his eyes on for years, uughhh, I was hurting for our Yoonie!

“Yoongi suddenly felt like crying, but he settled for collapsing onto the bench and clenching his fist.”

AAAHHH! But wait a little while Yoongi, I promise all this hurt will be over soon!

“Suddenly, Namjoon growled menacingly, startling everyone. Hoseok looked over to the spot where Namjoon was steadily staring, curiosity in his gaze before it too hardened and he started glaring with bared teeth. A random city Alpha that had been approaching them instantly halted, hands out in surrender.”

HOW COULD I FORGET THIS SUB-PLOT!!! Jin was over there laughing at how oblivious Yoongi was, and he isn’t any better, is he?!? Imagine having Joon and Hobi scaring the competition away like that??!! I would take them home immediately!

“There’s a huge plush rug and plenty of blankets, big fluffy pillows, a little stash of food and entertainment. I even put scent blockers around so no one would smell anything coming from inside,” Yoongi preened as he thought of his perfect hideaway.

Yoongi would def be one to make his little den as comfortable as possible! But I just thought of something. In your earlier description of Yoongi’s apartment, he said it was a bit stark and lacked any real decor. BUT he went out of his way to make this den as comfortable as possible. He bought a string of fairy lights, and he had to go to the big city to get them! It’s almost like it was fate, or maybe deep down he knew that something was going to happen, and he was inadvertently nesting! (please insert “I’ve connected the dots” meme here)

“He was sure there were plenty of Alphas running around with those piercings and Kook’s ginormous honker of a nose.”

:|

Was it really Kook? Or is our boy so in love that he sees Kookie wherever he goes? Lmao!

“Yoongi was about to show this guy that he wasn’t someone to be messed with and he wouldn’t be dragged off to be someone’s good little Omega bitch. He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the taser he’d packed just in case.”

OMG, Yoongi is not messing around, absolutely zero chill!

“It seemed presenting had changed him physically as well, shooting him up a couple inches so he towered over Yoongi even more than usual. His arms and legs were rippling with muscle that even the black tracksuit he was wearing couldn’t hide. His face was still the same though; the innocent grin an interesting contrast with the buff build.”

SIR!! My heart cannot take this punishment! And OFC he’s a Prime Alpha, Kookie doesn’t know how to half-ass anything!

“And just like he had a million times before, Yoongi gave in like the soft ass bitch he was.”

He really is soft for all of them!!! Yoongi will let them do whatever they want with him, he’ll complain the entire way but we all know he secretly loves it!

“Yoongi dared a quick look behind him, audibly gulping at the sight of the Alpha staring at his ass like he was a starving man at an all you can eat buffet. Jungkook was grinding his jaw and had his nails dug into the dirt like he was trying to control himself.”

I mean, we’ve all seen the Yoonbooty. It does look very biteable. Relatable AF Kook!

“Jungkook continued poking around in things; picking up a candle to sniff, trying to sneak a peek into the duffle bag, ruffling around in the bag of snacks - all while stealing glances at the bed in the middle of the room. “

WAY TO NOT BE OBVIOUS KOOK!!!

“What are you doing, Kook? You’re wasting time here when you should be out there chasing down your mate. They are probably wondering where you are.”

“They know where I am.”

“You told them you were going to hang out with me and they were fine with it?”

“Hyung, you’re usually so smart. Think about it.”

Every time I read this, I die a little bit inside (in a good way, I promise). Yoongi’s whole world is about to be turned upside down, and he has no idea!!!

“The house…”

Jungkook’s eyes softened, smiling fondly at him. “I bought it for you, hyung. Whether you choose me today or not, it’s yours.”

I cry.

What a courting gift!!! Kook doesn’t understand subtlety, does he??!! And how selfless is this? This is a no-strings attached gift, given to Yoongi out of love.

I cry.

“I love the way we are now, equals with a little bit of babying me on the side,” Jungkook grins when Yoongi snorts, shaking his head fondly at the other.”

I would like to see that please.

AND THEN THIS LINE:

“Omega,” Jungkook says softly, so rife with emotion that Yoongi can hear everything he’s trying to say in just that one word. “May I enter your nest?”

This is it, this is as far as I go fam. I have been destroyed with six whole words. How can such a simple statement hold so much emotion, so much hopeful pleading?

And then the whole interaction on the bed! Yoongi asking if he wants to play cards (bwahahaha, sure Jan), Kookie being prepared to wipe away all the descenting salve, Kook getting scent high, YOONGI’S GRANDPA RUN, those first initial uses of pet names, everything was so intimate and playful. It was beautiful!

“I bet I could easily pick you up and fuck you against a wall sometime if you wanted. Maybe even have you straddle my shoulders and I could suck you off that way,” Jungkook muses so matter of factly despite the subject matter, and Yoongi can feel himself get wetter by the second.”

Aaaaaaand there’s the emotional whiplash I’ve come to love from you!

“Whatever you want. You’re in charge.”

Kookie being selfless again! I cannot! It’s about these little things that are done between partners that really matter. Kook is a newly presented virgin Prime Alpha in the midst of a claiming, and his first priority is still making sure Yoongi feels good. He’s giving him all the power here.

“Good,” Yoongi yawns loudly and throws a couple of blankets over them, tangling their legs together. “Later we can try the thing with the nipples.”

Again, I would like to see that please.

“Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes shoot open and he gasps.

“Oh shit! Your brother is going to kill me!”

Jungkook merely laughs”

😂😂😂

“I’ll give you some meat,” Yoongi grumbles playfully as he climbs off the bed, stretching his aching limbs.

“I mean, I’m down for anything,” Jungkook giggles.”

Not to sound like a broken record, but...I WOULD LIKE TO SEE THAT PLEASE

“Jungkook walked straight towards the first woman he saw with a clipboard, blindsiding the stunned woman with one of his lethal smiles while he wrapped an arm around Yoongi’s waist to pull him close.

“Hi! We both need mating packets.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes because he could tell that Jungkook was practically bragging instead of just asking like a normal person.”

He’s practically bragging about Yoongi being his mate! I have a feeling Kookie is going to be unbearable to be around in the upcoming weeks.

And then we get a teeny tiny peek at the Nam-Jin-Hobi subplot and ooomg I hope you’re able to explore this particular pairing in the future. There is so much potential there for steamy/fluffy scenes!

“I just mean, like, soulmates. You know? Maybe we were supposed to meet to help each other find our mates. Or maybe we are all soulmates in various forms.”

DON’T! DON’T HURT ME THIS WAY, I CANNOT AND WILL NOT SURVIVE!

AAAAH this fic was wonderful! It feels complete the way you ended it, but I am definitely still craving more! Good job, dayumm!

It still amazes me how many people have read this one lol. But yeah, this is one of my favorites too. I do have other side stories that I’m working on for this one, including one from Jk’s birthday and another for Namjinseok.

I just really really love writing people that are so unapologetically whipped. Like, it’s such a major thing for me because in real life there are a ridiculous amount of people that are embarrassed to show how much they care about their SO, and like, why? Why are you even with them if you’re so embarrassed to show them any affection? Show the world that you are proud they choose to be with you, show your person that they are precious. I’m not even saying buy them shit all the time (because for some reason het males seem to think that’s what everyone means). I mean hold their damn hand, write them a note, tell them they are pretty. There’s a reason that a person who technically still identifies as gay man is in a steady relationship with me, a pan woman. And it’s because I fucking treat him like he’s the reason my heart beats and I’m not ashamed to show the world. Ok, I’m ranting now lol. I’ll stop. But you get the picture.

[im-not-shouting-im-projecting]

Some Seamster!Quinn Cooper HCs

I didnt intend for this to be this long, but my seamstress heart was inspired. I got kind of carried away, and had to refocus, so I'm going to do another post soon with some advice and anecdotes for wrighting costumers.

For the last couple of months I have been absolutely Obsessed with @poindextears 's Crickets, her SMH post-Waffle Frog OCs, and I have had a lot of headcannons about Quinn Cooper: a theatre kid extrordanare and Hoh icon who talks like he's from 50s and is the boyfreind of Nando (Cricket dman) as we have quite a bit in common. All of Mel's fics are amazing, and I would highly recommend! Give them a read on tumblr or AO3

--

I know Mel has said that Quinn's favorite place is Joanne's, which is completely understandable for someone who doesn't live near actual textile markets... but Joanne's (and similar chain craft/fiberarts supply stores) suck.

Like first of all, on a monetary level... I'm going to start with the assumption that high school Quinn didn't have a large project budget (reasoning: 1. his family is already tight with money, 2. I can't imagine his not-particularly-supportive guardians gave him lots of spending money (esp with theatre fees and materials) 3. I can't imagine he brought in tons of money on the side with a theatre schedule + grades good enough to go to med school + time with his old lady freind + time for sewing)

With that being said: Fabric is expensive. Way more expensive than people expect. Especially if you don't have expensive machinery (like overlock machines) that make cheap synthetic fabrics usable. Also I like to imagine Quinn is in the "fabrics made of plastic are itchy and bad for the enviornment" club like me.

All that is to say: Joanne's is absolutely the worst place that isn't actively upscale to buy fabric (or materials) on a budget.

- The shop's target demographic is stay-at-home white suburban moms who have the time to clip coupons, buy materials on a "when it's on sale" basis as opposed to a "my sister didn't notice the four seperate places I marked my shears 'fabric only' so now I physically cannot continue this project without buying new extra-sharp fabric scissors'" basis, and importantly: can stop by the store every day for a month because discounted items change on a day to day basis, all of which is not particularly conducive to someone a high school kids on a budget.

- Even with all the discounts in existance, the fabrics there are still super expensive and especially for the often lackluster quality (like... they are fine but if I'm paying literally $40/y for enough faux fur to make a big enough "mane" to cover the gap between the cowardly lion's padding and the actor's neck, we shouldnt have to sweep the fur bits off the stage at intermission)

- Additionally if you need a lot of fabric, say enough 7ft squares of heavy mustard yellow fabric for 30 lioness cape/pants? You might just need to run 4 seperate Joanne's out of two different fabrics that were close enough to each other to work

If you are putting in the time and effort to make something complicated,

- Also, and this is probably the most obvious: there just aren't that many options. If you want anything other than a cotton or fleece, than you better hope the single shade they have in the right color works

So I have established: Joanne's = Bad

So how does Quinn factor into all this?

Well first of all I would like to imagine that at some point Quinn helped out in SMH costuming, where they teach him the magic of using something that already exists. Samwell being as liberal as it is, I would like to think that the costuming people are aware of how awful the current state of fabric waste is, and, how his sewing skills are so much better used altering things at thrift shops beginning his journey twords my completeley basess headcannon that he one day adopts some vintage looks

While I think he would be down to adopt some of these practices in his costuming (a la my personal anectode below), I have a feeling that Quinn is one of those people who just likes to make things from scratch. (reasoning: 1 his general personality, but far more importantly, 2 THIS BOY WANTED TO MAKE EVAN HANSEN'S POLO BY HAND, WHY??? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME THAT TAKES???????? YOU ARE WILLING TO SPEND UPWORDS OF TEN HOURS OF YOUR LIFE ON A MODERN STYLE SHIRT THATS GOING TO BE SEEN 4 TIMES???)

I get it, especially for historical reconstructions, there are people who genuinely love sewing by hand, I love Bernadette Banner as much as the next seamstress, but I honestly don't know how they do it.

I like to think that Quinn would be wandering around some thrift store and out of the corner of his eye notice some curtains and have a vision of frolicking through a meadow like Julie Andrews in cloths made out of a curtain... metaphorically. But he def gets "Do a Dear" stuck in his head every time he wears it

Of course the SMH Costuming crew introduce him to some better places to at least get draping and mock up fabrics, but I think they would also introduce him to an actual fabric store.

Samwell is close enough to Boston that I'm sure there's an actual fabric warehouse within driving distance, so when Quinn can't find a suitable material at his beloved Joanne's, and is understandably skeptical about ordering fabric online, Ford is just like dude, go to the fabric warehouse, so he gives it a try.

Ok his fist thought when he gets there is omg everything is so big. Ok, that's his second thought, his first thought is ugh this smells like the SMH locker room, bc a giant block of concrete with no internal climate control in the New England humidity stuffed to the brim with moisture-holding fabric is def gonna make some kind of funk.

But after that like...

Ok, on the left is your average Joanne's while on the right is your average fabric warehouse

I can totally imagine him physically getting lost. He is tiny, and those places are total mazes, absolutely ginormus, they are all stacked literally 8 feet tall, and all the rows look the same.

Fabric in warehouses is stored for maximum capacity as opposed to places like Joanne's where it is purposely stored in ways that display the whole selection at once. Additionally, while hobbyist bolts face out as much as possible so you can see it at a glance, professional grade bolts face in for protection

...If it's on the shelves at all, the hallmark of a textile warehouse is just dozens of bolts leaning haphazardly in precarious places

This tiny boy is just absolutely surrounded by rows upon rows of fabric, stored in ways that are absolutely not conducive to being looked at easily, and is incredibly frusturated bc Aggghhh I can't look at any of this without moving all of it around, and I can't reach any of it!!!

BUT!

Guess what he has?

Nando to the rescue!

Quinn's big strong dman boyfriend is more than willing to move around and carry the bolts for him and when need be he'll just straight up plop Quinn on his shoulders so he can see the stuff at the top :)

Ok, that's the gist of what I had to say, some other little seamster!Quinn hcs:

his old lady friend taught him the absolute basics, and his wedding gift from her is her 70 year old sewing machine that he first learned to sew on and he treasures that thing FOREVER

bc of his apparent love of hand sewing he is one of those people that swears by genuine leather thimbles, idk why it just feels like him

whenever people compliment his outfit he is just casually like "Oh thanks, I made it" (bc non sewers are always astounded by that and we get to gloat) because I said so

he makes Nando cute crop tops

[starsgivemehp]

Worldbuilding/Magic Handbook (updated)

Hey, fellas, I recently found my old google doc which explains my headcanons (across the various AUs and verses), including magic, humans, monsters of all species, food, stats, fighting, etc. Everything I could possibly think of! I looked through it, added a fair amount of stuff, and clarified a few examples. I doubt very many people are seriously interested in the details, but I figured I’d throw it up here anyway, just in case someone wants to read it. It’s under a cut for length!

How does magic work for humans with magic?

-Humans all have souls, and souls are all made up of magic. Thus, all humans have at least a little bit of magic within them. The amount of magic and the ability to wield it vary from person to person. ‘Most’ people are unaware of the magic in their bodies and are incapable of using it, but could, with a lot of time and effort, learn how to channel and use it but are never given the chance. A minority are completely unable to use it, and a minority have enough of it/enough of a natural talent/enough of a bloodline that they can use it without training or influence, and training will help them hone it. For example, one OC, Psyche, has enough natural magic in her that she can use it at will, though it took her some time to work out how and what her limits are. Another OC, Naomi, has a deeply magical bloodline that she, too, can use it with some effort, but does not have the discipline to hone it until underground/near enough magic for her body to get used to it.

How do monster bodies work?

- Monsters have weaker, greyish souls, and their bodies are physical manifestations of those souls that are partially due to lineage and environment, and partially up to the individual monster’s decisions. For example, monsters will have characteristics of their parents, and will tend to have bodily functions appropriate for where they live (monsters who live in snowdin are resistant to cold, monsters who live in hotland are resistant to heat, monsters who live in waterfall can almost all swim and either love or need water, etc). However, other aspects of their bodies and magic are shaped due to conscious or subconscious actions and thoughts. For example, even though magical bodies don’t have real muscles or organs, an Undyne has shaped her body to look muscular due to rigorous training and intent to be strong. Her body is mimicking what organic bodies do when put under the same circumstances. This works the same way for skeleton ecto. A skeleton like my fell!Papyrus, Vex, who trains a lot, has very toned ecto that mimics muscle and is even a bit harder in firmness, whereas a skeleton like his brother Red, who spends a lot of time laying around but is still fit enough to fight, has softer ecto with more rounded edges and volume to it. Essentially, monster bodies are only made up of magical manifestations and cannot truly bleed (though skeleton monsters do have marrow), but have the outward appearance of having all of the functions of any organic creature and can be modified in the same ways.

- Monster bodies need certain amounts of ventilation throughout their lives. A monster that does not wield magic often enough can get ‘stuffed up’ and sick. This is rare for adults, who know how to properly vent and use magic but may rarely chose not to do so/be otherwise unable to do so (magic suppressors are an example), but common in children, who have not yet learned the intricacies of venting magic on a day-to-day basis. The symptoms of this monster sickness are similar to the common cold in humans: fever, stuffed up feeling, sneezing or runny nose if the monster has a nose, fatigue, and an achey feeling. It generally clears up in a few days, and there is medicine to help (which is black and tarry and children don’t tend to like it).

- Generally speaking, gender is flexible for monsters. Certain species have concretely-defined genitalia (for example, dog monsters, bunny monsters, etc), certain species have no genitalia and reproduce solely through soul interaction (for example, moldsmal, other small fry, sometimes certain elementals), and yet others are somewhere in between and can go in either direction (for example, fire elementals and skeletons).

- In the same vein, unless the monster is of the type that has concretely-set genitalia and does not use asexual/soul-based reproduction, monsters of any gender can conceive. The easiest example of this is the fluidity of skeleton genitalia, and whichever skeleton happened to have the female genitalia on during conception winds up being the ‘mother’ regardless of gender. In terms of soul-based reproduction, typically fire elementals, the partners make a conscious decision as to which soul receives the excess magic to become the mother. For example, Grillby and his wife connected via the soul and Grillby intentionally imparted enough of his own magic on hers to conceive. This process is not guaranteed, much like human pregnancies, but has a higher conception rate than using humanoid genitalia.

- Monster bodies are also influenced by emotion and situation. The most obvious example is a monster’s stats. ATK and DEF can go up with training and certain mindsets for most monsters, although some are completely incapable of raising these stats (usually Sanses, and usually for emotional reasons. Red’s disabilities are an exception). Monsters like Vex and my swap!Sans Legall have inflated their ATK and DEF to very impressive levels through a lot of effort and training. Other monsters, like boss monsters, have more naturally high ATK and DEF, but even they can build it up more with enough training and intent. This is why, for example, fell!Asgore is even stronger than classic!Asgore despite their bodies being otherwise very similar.

- In a similar vein, ATK and DEF can suddenly tank due to emotions. The easiest example of this is how the fallen human can SPARE Toriel up until the point where she gives in, and then suddenly kill her in one hit even when not in a genocide run due to her DEF dropping.

- HOPE is another stat that is influenced by surroundings and emotions. HP has a general minimum and maximum according to monster species, and falling below that minimum is an indicator of poor health, typically mental health. A monster who starts to suffer from depression may start to lose HOPE and become weaker. However, there are certain exceptions where poor physical health influences the HOPE stat as well (Red has a combination of both of these factors). When HOPE falls too low, a monster may begin the Falling Down process. Typically, the process first manifests in sluggishness, a bleaker outlook and maybe even sad or nihilistic talk. Following that, the affected monster will begin to cough. This is the most noticeable symptom, and the most cause for alarm. The monster will begin to cough up dust and become fatigued. They will be bedridden until they either recover (unlikely by this point) or complete the Falling Down process and dust.

- Magic can be equated to heat, in most cases. Monsters’ bodies are generally hotter than human bodies by nature, especially if they have good magic control and/or depending on their type (fire elementals and dragons tend to be the hottest, lizards and water elementals tend to be cooler, etc). Poor magic control or poor conditions resulting in a lack of food can cause monster bodies to be unhealthy and cool/cold. For example, in Horrorfell, when the starvation is rampant, the Sans, Arum, may feel ill and be cold to the touch.

- Shielding the soul (as done in Lust verses) prevents most attacks from doing real damage and bringing down HP, most notably physical damage. An extreme amount and certain magical attacks can still cause damage, and severe duress can cause the monster in question to drop their shield.

How can monsters consciously wield magic?

- Different types of monsters tend to use different types of magic, and this is based on lineage, environment, and personal preference. Intent is very important, but not everything. For example, although most monsters have the inherent ability to wield green magic (healing magic), their ability to wield it varies. My Papyri tend to be better at it than my Sanses, mainly due to empathy reasons (higher empathy makes for easier healing) and sometimes due to bodily reasons (Red has a combination of finding difficulty in truly empathizing, and also being stunted in specific magics for biological reasons, green magic included).

- Colors match magic types in some cases, and sometimes correlate to soul colors, but not always.

- Cyan magic (or blue attacks) correlate to patience and require patience to counter. Light blue attacks harm you if you move through them, and are harmless if you stay still. A monster can cast light blue magic on their soul to make all incoming attacks harmless while they are motionless, for a short period of time. Several types of monsters can use light blue attacks, generally skeletons and (??? I'll think of this later) can use cyan magic.

- Orange magic (or attacks) correlate to bravery. Orange attacks harm you if you are still, and are harmless if you charge through them. Orange magic, on the other hand, turns a soul orange and causes the bearer of that soul to have increased inertia when moving. A monster can cast this on themself to move quickly, or an enemy to make it harder to turn and stop in a fight. Many types of monsters can use orange attacks. Generally, goats and sometimes fire elementals use orange magic.

- Dark blue magic correlates to integrity (albeit in a roundabout way). Typically this magic is solely used by skeletons. Dark blue magic is cast on an enemy to increase the gravity on the enemy, making it difficult for them to move around and jump. The wielder can move the enemy around and throw them into traps and attacks. Monsters cannot use blue magic on themselves, only others.

- Purple magic correlates to Perseverance in a roundabout way. It is sticky and can trap enemies in place or slow them down. Purple magic halfway functions as attacks, in that they are produced in the body and shot at someone, and halfway functions as as orange or blue magic, in that it doesn't directly deal damage, but instead causes an effect on the body and/or soul. Purple magic is generally used by spiders and (??? I'll think of this later).

- Green magic correlates strongly with kindness. It is healing magic. It can be used either in the form of bullet patterns or by direct contact. The second method generally involves the healer placing their hands on the patient's chest and either at the forehead or near/hovering above the wound, for magic to reach both the physical damage and the soul. For this reason, green magic bullets do not heal much at a time, but green magic healing can heal as much at once as the wielder has energy for. Green magic is also cooked into monster food, for similar effects as healing (although eating does require consciousness, and being healed doesn't).

- A different type of green magic, green soul magic, functions similarly to blue magic. When cast, it traps the enemy in place. This is a very rare and strong magic which requires years of intense training and practice to hold for even a short period of time. No monster species in particular wields this magic due to its difficulty. Currently, Undyne and Gerson are the only known wielders, and even Undyne cannot hold it for more than a few turns at a time.

- Yellow magic correlates with justice. Generally, the wielder casts it on themself. This turns the soul to 'attack mode,’ allowing the wielder to use rapidfire bullet patterns aimed either straight ahead or straight at the enemy. This is a good strategy for monsters with slow-moving bullet patterns or questionable aim. Yellow magic can also be granted by a wielder to an ally to assist them in group battles. It is typically used by lizards, turtles, snails, and occasionally other slower-moving monsters as a balance to their typically lackluster movements which would otherwise put them at risk.

- Not much is known about red magic.

- Fire magic is typically used by fire elementals, dragons, and goats, but other types of monsters can learn it with practice. Fire magic is heavily tied to intent. It can be used as attacks with either bullet patterns or genuine burning fire, but it can also be used for simple warmth, or to cook. Food cooked with fire magic has an inherently comforting taste to all monsters and tends to be far more popular than other types of food.

- Weapons can be either physical or manifested. Physical weapons are harmless to dummies and ghosts, and are exactly the same as human weapons. Manifested weapons are extensions of a monster's magic. Typically, monsters can only make one type of weapon, and the amount of said weapon depends on their energy levels (e.g. Undynes can chuck dozens of spears when fighting fit, but not nearly so many when exhausted). The type of weapon depends on various factors, and is generally chosen subconsciously. They can be inherited (for example, the Lava Trident my alterfell Papyrus has was inherited by his father when he dealt a killing blow, despite not being a physical weapon). The color of the manifested weapon tends to match the wielder's magic color (note that most monsters’ magic color is arbitrary and not connected to soul traits. Skeletons are the exception. Undyne's spears are cyan but she ain't no Patience soul, nor does she use cyan attacks in battle). Most monsters can only make one weapon at a time, though a fair number may dual-wield. Manifested weapons can either weigh next to nothing, or the same as a physical weapon of the same type. This is generally up to the wielder's preference. One of my fell Sanses, Rav, is a pretty big exception to most of these limitations, as he has a special talent and trains in making several different types of manifested weapons, and has even gotten skilled enough to change their colors and intricately detail them.

- Other types of magic vary by monster type and are too numerous to explain. They can be explained on request.

Explain skeletons?

- Skeletons tend to have magic revolving around space (in the physics sense). Many skeletons are able to summon items from other areas, provided they are aware of said items and exactly where they are. For example, Red can summon a bottle of mustard from his stash, but when that stash runs out he has to put more mustard there to do so. Many skeletons also have the ability to teleport short distances, although this is a learned skill and generally those in the 'Sans’ role are more practiced in this for any number of reasons. Papyri are more than capable, they just typically don't know how. For example, my fellswap!Sans Howl learned out of necessity after being separated from his brother Daemon across the multiverse, and Vex is slowly but surely learning if only because he's tired of being left behind when Red wanders off. This ability requires both a knowledge of where one is and a knowledge of where one is going, generally meaning the wielder has to have been to an area at least once to later return there.

- Note that depending on the verse, I like the idea of the shortcut ability requiring entering one doorway and leaving another, meaning someone locked in a room cannot leave because there is no doorway to leave through. This is verse-specific and will be noted when in use.

- Due to the nature of ecto, certain skeletons are able to manifest extra body parts not connected to the body, in a similar way to summoning weapons. The best example of this is Gasters wielding extra, detatched hands. Red inherited this ability from his own Gaster, Erebus (though he's unaware that's the reason he's able to do this).

- Speaking of ecto, the explanation is as follows: given that skeletons are biologically very humanoid and their bodies themselves use very little magic (the bare-bones, if you will), skeletons have a unique ability to shape and use extra magic as a vaguely jelly-like substance called ecto. Ghosts can also do this. Ecto is approximately as firm and smooth as flesh, although it is slightly less textured and weighs less. It has a bit of give, sort of like chub on humans, but maintains its shape better than flesh (e.g. ecto breasts remain shapely and don't sag like human breasts). Generally speaking, maintaining ecto for a short period of time is very easy and requires very little magic, but using it long-term can eat up magic quicker and require bigger or more frequent meals to maintain. In example, a skeleton wearing some ecto hair while out and about but releasing it at home or at night is not very magic-consuming, but a skeleton wearing full-body ecto almost 24/7 needs to eat and/or sleep more to maintain their ecto and still be able to use magic for other things. This is why, for example, my lustfell!Sans, Jazz, is very fit and healthy but still naps a lot when they can, because they use full-body ecto every second of not being home. Ecto will be the same color as manifested weapons and other magic color, and in skeletons, it typically relates to the matching soul trait.

- As a side note, skeletons are the most obvious example of magic having smells and tastes specific to the monster. Most types have similar tastes due to the more concrete bodies (e.g. dogs all taste the same, fire elementals mostly taste the same, etc), but skeletons, primarily using ecto which is more raw magic, have unique individual tastes and scents.

- Limb detachment is a natural thing for skeletons, and is painless. Due to the nature of magic flow, however, detached limbs cannot move on their own or perform any magical functions. They can be damaged, and hurt the skeleton, and skeletons will be able to vaguely feel other sensations the limb is feeling. Skeletons regulate their body easily enough as older children, teens, and adults, but very young children are not able to do this. As such, babybones’ limbs may detach without warning and require a parent/adult to reattach them. Skeleton newborns need to constantly be touching or very physically close to a parent, because that parent gives off a steady sphere of magic to hold the baby bodies together. Being left alone for too long will result in the newborn's body falling apart entirely, and while it can be fixed if caught immediately, this can lead to death rather quickly. 

- Skeleton children develop language faster than other young children, which makes up for their weaker physical states. This is the basis behind typeface names. Skeletons have official names reflecting the handwriting and speech they learn from a young age. Type is determined by the skeleton's vocal range, intensity of speech (or how much conviction their voice holds, in other words), handwriting, formality, and even, to a much lesser extent, general body shape. The parents choose the typeface their child is, hold a naming ceremony, and thereafter teach the child to perfectly hone their handwriting to the exact correct typeface. Namedays are substituted for birthdays.

- Skeletons don't need to breathe necessarily, but it helps ventilate magic and most are used to doing it anyway. Thus, the sensation of being unable to breathe typically causes a skeleton to pass out after approximately the same amount of time it takes for a human to pass out, but with no lasting ill effects. This can be subverted with the right mindset, i.e. coaching oneself on it while swimming.

How does magic dilute over time?

- Assume a pureblood human and a pureblood monster mate and have a child. That child will, usually, have an appearance that is pretty evenly half-monster, half-human. This may, however, manifest in one of two ways. The more common way is a natural blend of both features. A mostly humanoid body with accents of the monster species. A half dog monster may have ears, a tail, paws, and fur, or a half bird monster may have talons for feet and wings for arms, and so on. The less common way is a child that can switch between two forms at will (or unintentionally while young). This has only been observed with half skeletons, but by no means is it common (in other words I like this idea and may use it for specific verses but generally don't). In both cases, the soul is shaped like a monster's but colored like a human's.

- With the first instance, assume the half-human half-monster child then mates with another human. Their child is more humanoid with less monster traits. Long-term exposure to magic will encourage the child's monster traits to be prominent even so, but lack of exposure will make these traits lessen. This child's soul functions and looks completely human. This continues down the generations, assuming no monsters are reintroduced to the line. After enough generations (maybe five or six), the monster part of the heritage essentially becomes dormant without magic practice, but not gone. A distant descendant may naturally become a mage, or may be unable to perform magic (or know their heritage) without being exposed to it much like regular humans.

- Assuming the half-human half-monster child goes on to mate a monster, the grandchild retains a vaguely humanoid body and soul color, while keeping a monster soul shape and with monster features winning out over human ones. Assuming the generations continue to only mate with monsters, humanoid traits become less and less frequent. Soul color will continue to be human for up to about a dozen generations, well past all human bodily features being erased. Continued mixed heritage, with humans and monsters both adding in to the family line, will result in children who remain roughly the same as half children, give or take depending on the specifics.

What other magic varieties are present?

- Aside from the color magic, fire magic, and skeleton magic previously covered, magic tends to either be element-based (water, fire, electricity, air, etc) or attribute-based (increase of strength, speed, flexibility, enhancement of weapons, etc). Rarely, there are special types of magic connected to certain actions or mindsets that are vaguely extrasensory in nature, such as increased empathy, telepathy or telekinesis, prophetic abilities, etc. These are very rare and typically occur due to extenuating circumstances (i.e. swap!Papyrus Prise's piano-accented seer powers are due to a mild void connection).

How is intent involved with magic?

- In most cases, intent is very important (but not everything). A complete lack of intent to hurt generally renders attacks harmless, but even the faintest hint of irritation or frustration can be read as intent and wind up hurting someone despite more conscious thought. Very, very few monsters have the ability to confidently spar and know no hits will land (Vex is the only known one at the moment). Likewise, intent to heal does not always mean one can efficiently use healing magic (as observed in Red's case). But in more general terms, intent can mean the difference between, for example, a fire meant to hurt, and cooking fire that is harmless. Fire elementals generally practice this with their own bodies. Intent to defend or harm can make their entire body burning to the touch, in stark contrast to how intent to comfort makes the entire body seeming only as warm as standing nearby a pleasant hearth fire, even if the other person is cuddled close or even being intimate.

- Intent is also the means to control other types of magic, and how they affect the other person. For example, when a skeleton uses blue magic on someone's soul, intent can decide whether the grip is just a small presence, even comforting, or the grip is tight to the point of pain. This is similar to how error!Sans Dox’s strings can wrap around a soul and yank painfully, or can be a comforting weight to someone he loves.

- In the same vein, for another example, Prise can use his intent to decide what his seer powers provide him when he sits down at the piano. Initial observation of this power was simply sitting to play while wondering what type of run his human would do, and he would get a matching 'hunch.’ He later was able to use this ability to influence and soothe bad dreams of those he cared for, and was eventually able to manifest light shows while performing. It is expected that, with further training, he will become even more prophetic.

EXP and LV: how are they measured?

- There is a better grasp on LV than there is on EXP (read: I don't tend to specify EXP because the numbers get too high). LV is gained through killing, obviously, but the circumstances surrounding the killing affect the amount of EXP and LV gained.

- Killing people whom you don't care about, for example, nets you slightly less EXP and LV than killing people whom you hate, and that nets you FAR less than killing people whom you love. For example, a dust Sans will probably gain several LV just from killing their Papyrus, due to their bond. But the relative neutrality of most other members of the underground evens out so most Dusts still wind up with the set 20 at the end.

- Killing children, in general, tends to give you more EXP and LV, because it takes a special kind of cruelty to perform the act. Even more so with babies. Killing animals doesn't tend to give one EXP or LV, or at least not as much as killing humans or monsters. For example, hunters and those who humanely kill animals for food would gain little if any. However, if one were to cruelly kill an animal, such as a pet or with torture, one would gain more.

- The effects of LV on the soul may vary a little, but generally speaking, the more LV one has, the more emotionally closed-off someone is, especially a monster. LV is the soul's way of protecting itself from the guilt and horror of performing such acts on other living things with souls. After all, a monster is made of love, hope, and compassion. Without the protective numbness of LV, a monster that has killed too much would likely die of sheer emotion.

- Anger is one of the few emotions that is not stifled from LV, and in fact tends to be inflated. High-LV monsters can snap and become enraged far easier than those with low or no LV. Sexual desire is also not stifled, though it isn't magnified, at least not by a lot (excepting in rare cases).

- Some monsters at high LV experience brief episodes of all-encompassing anger and agitation. These can come on due to a specific trigger, stress, or simply after a certain period of time since the last one. For example, Rav is triggered by screams. They give him headaches and cause him to snap almost immediately. When he is in the throes of an LV attack, his mind is made up of unbearable screams from the people he's killed, and he has to exhaust himself physically or be restrained by his brother to make it stop.

- LV shock occurs when a person obtains too much LV within a very short period of time. This typically happens to Dust!Sanses. They go through a period of a few weeks where they feel absolutely nothing, their soul in overdrive protective mode. They giggle uncontrollably when faced with something that would usually upset them, and become extremely jumpy and quick to attack. When this wears off, there is a brief period of uncontrollable emotional, and sometimes physical, pain. Screaming and crying are common. This lasts for a few hours, before the soul finally evens out emotionally and the LV functions properly.

- LV can go down, but it is a slow and generally difficult process. It requires the person in question to trust and love and open themself to unconditional love, without fear of backlash. Even with this process, LV tends to have certain marker levels that, once past, cannot be reduced beyond. For example, LV raised past 10 cannot typically go below 10 again. The same with 20, and possibly 30.

- Ingestion of magic from a very high-LV monster (20 or more) by a low-LV monster, sexually or otherwise, causes symptoms similar to being drunk or high. The excessive energy in LV-saturated magic causes the ingester to feel dizzy, super-energized, a little giddy, and an intense desire to ingest more of the drug-like magic. The effects usually last a few hours, then lead to a crash, sudden exhaustion and usually unconsciousness. The desire to ingest more can last for a few weeks, and depending on the amount ingested, the person may feel withdrawal symptoms consisting of shakiness, mild nausea, lethargy, and headache.

Other random stuff that didn't fit anywhere else (some of these are lewd or squicky, but I will try to keep from being too graphic or specific)

- Monsters do not digest food like humans. Magic food is absorbed almost instantly. Human food is partially absorbed instantly, and partially lingers to be slowly absorbed. At no point do monsters urinate or defecate.

- However, monsters can throw up. Severe nausea or disgust triggers magic to sour, which then must be expelled. The concoction is foul-smelling and almost entirely liquid. Poor Red is squeamish about blood and has a few problems when exposed to lots of it.

- Lust is spread by the ingestion or absorption of magic from a Lustie. This includes oral and penetrative sex. Even scissoring leads to small amounts of absorption, which is enough to contract the disease. Condoms, strap-ons, and abstinence are the only ways to prevent spread. Humans can get Lust, but can generally go for longer periods without severe repercussions due to the strength of their souls.

- Dance verse monsters rely on the beat of music for attacks. A person that does not understand this and does not move to the beat will miss and be hit more. However, complete soul-syncing to the same beat, as opposed to simple following, is intimate and done only with family and mates. The combination of physical contact, complete soul syncing, and a manifestation of both souls (even if they don't touch) is seen as lewd and not proper for public dancing.

- All souls have a song, or at least a beat/melody. That song or beat may change due to extreme events in one's life, positive or negative. For example, soulbonding causes both monster's souls to gain some of their partner's.

- When it comes to monsters that manifest genitals, such as skeletons and elementals, most can choose one, the other, or both at will. However, some few are stuck with one form regardless of attempt to switch to the other (this is rare and mostly for my own amusement. For example, I failed rolls to allow Rav to go female enough times that I decided he is incapable).

- Most monsters and humans see a name, ATK, DEF, relative HP as a percentage, and a quick, short narration on a check. Sans types also see exact HP, and LV. Certain outcodes, such as errors and some voidlings, can see the binary makeup of the person.

- Most monster pregnancies tend to last for roughly 4 months, with each trimester being roughly 5-6 weeks. They demonstrate similar symptoms as human women, including morning sickness, weird cravings, mood swings, and soreness. There are three ways monsters reproduce. Human-style, soul pregnancies (where the new soul grows within the mother's), and asexual reproduction.

- The void is a tangible, almost sentient thing. Once one has been lost to it, for example a Gaster, there are certain things that cannot be given back. Returned Gasters tend to maintain a certain goopiness, even some melted and then re-hardened parts. Attempts to take from the void result in loss, much like human transmutation in FMA. For example, horrorfell!Sans, Arum, attempted to reach into the void to get his father back. His machine as incomplete, his attempts unsuccessful, and the void not only physically tore a hole in his head, but also took certain memories and some of his autonomy. He now suffers from periods of partial or total memory loss, and periods of catatonia.

- Magic collars function much the same as in @kamari333 verses and Ain’t This The Life. That is, they have tracking, protective magic, and a varying degree of emotion transfer depending on the collared one's wishes.

- In terms of soulbonding, humans have been observed to be able to bond to multiple different monsters, provided the bonding process is done one at a time. There has been no recorded instance of one monster bonding with more than one other person. General belief is that monster souls are not strong enough to split twice for this purpose. However, this has not been tested.

- KR tends to manifest in souls that have some measure of Justice in them. However, some Sanses without Justive have been observed to have KR also. KR is not explicitly tied to being a Judge, but it is the general consensus that a Judge has KR. Not all timelines have the type of entity-based Judge that ATTL has (I.e. I like the idea of a Judge-entity that possesses someone in the timeline, but have only used it in one or two verses. In most others, being a judge is simply being the 'Sans' part and doing the final hallway thing).

- Humans or skeletons can, due to dire circumstances, experience a shift in soul color. The process is typically painful, and may last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks. Magic type may or may not shift. For example, a human that becomes orange may possibly gain the ability to use orange magic to move at fast speeds.

- There are only a few different monster languages. Common is English, Hands is ASL (and can be signed, spoken, or written, the spoken or written are Wing Dings and really only used by skeletons). There is an elemental language, with different dialects for the different types of elemental. Other than that, monsters don't have any unique languages, though they are of course able to learn different human languages.

- Monsters don't tend to have access to meat. Most remain vegetarian when they reach the surface, either due to morals or a taste preference. Some will choose to start eating meat, however.

- More to be added as I think of it.

[pootstablook]

Actually, i take that back.

This copy paste from my server will explain it all. Hey there @everyone The name is Pootstablook and i have an announcement to make. I'm going to stop doing anything undertale related from now on and move over to more original stuff, in other words, do the things i love doing the most. My motivation for Revenge and Rusted have pretty much sunk to the bottom, and i honestly don't want to work on those anymore. I had a good ride when it comes to Rusted and Revenge, heck even Undertale in general! But now it's just too much for me. I'm sorry for those who've been excited to see where these two are going, and i'm sad to say that i have to put an end to it. Abubakr, Aquirious, Draco, my entire team in general, i'm sorry for making you do all of this, i mean i really appreciated that you all wanted to work with me, and i'm sorry for drawing the line just like that. And since i'm doing all of this then i can atleast do something in return. I'm not going to give these au's to anyone, but i can reveal what i had in mind for it. From story to designs just so you can have an idea of what it's going to be like. Which is why i'm going to unlock #spoiler-newspaper . Anyways, i'm going to move over to my tavern server just so i can work on the things i love the most, and if any of you are interested then you're free to join it https://discord.gg/ZaGsXbk I'll say my final goodbye to this server when i'm done showing everything we've done for these two projects. Anyways, thank you all for listening. And since i mentioned that i’m going to give info about revenge here then i might aswell tell em here before i leave this blog and move on with another one. Act 1 Lore:  Once upon a time, a human child fell down to the sealed place known as the UNDERGROUND. This unknown human somehow survived the fall and started to explore this place, until they met a flower that'd sooner or later be their friend. But that's what most people will think that this human would do. In the end, this human started to kill every living being inside the underground to gain LOVE. What is LOVE you may ask? Well, a certain skeleton once said " When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases. LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for Level of Violence.", at the end of the day, this human succeeded their goal to reach maximum LOVE. From the caretaker of the RUINS, the ROYAL GUARDS, their famous actor and even a lazy skeleton tried their best to stop this human. Some say that the monsters have won multiple times, and yet..... it felt like that the human never died. But there was one monster that didn't get their chance.... to help them. Papyrus the skeleton, a skeleton who've dreamt to become a part of the royal guard, and yet this kind soul wouldn't even hurt a fly. But, he got killed with a smile on his face. Papyrus still wants another chance to confront the human, but sadly he couldn't..... until.[[ACT 1]] We enter a void like area where monsters rests their souls after being brutally murdered. A place where monsters can do anything they want! Meet their loved ones, partake on a good game or two or even look at the floating islands grow bigger every day. But Papyrus didn't seem all that happy as he used to be. It seems like that something bothered him. His friend and his brother tried to ask what's wrong, but Papyrus couldn't explain it. Later that day, Papyrus started to hear voices coming from left to right. He started to get scared and thought that he was going insane! The voices became louder and louder, until the point where it was getting too much for Papyrus to handle. He collapsed into the ground and tried to speak with this mysterious voice, and surprise surprise, the mysterious voice responded to Papyrus. Rise and shine.... Papyrus Papyrus was confused for a second and had no idea what the voice was talking about. It then said. It seems like..... your soul...... has given up..... on you..... Papyrus looked up and saw a disturbing floating head infront of him. He didn't question it, in fact, he was amazed to see such thing. But then the voice kept on going.  Allow me.... to help you.... Out of curiosity, Papyrus asked what he meant with that. The floating head claimed that he knew what Papyrus wanted to do when it comes to the human, and apparently, he's willing to help him reach that goal. But that'd be impossible for him right? He's dead and most monsters think that there's no way out. But this mysterious head said that there was a way to get a second chance, and all he needed was Papyrus to cooperate with this mysterious being. He wanted to refuse it, but the thought of getting a second chance to confront the human once and for all was a tempting offer for Papyrus. So in the end, he accepted it and followed his orders to escape this realm. His objective was apparently simple, all he had to do is to find a FLOWER. A flowey? In a place like this? Thought Papyrus, but the head claimed that there was a flower in the darker section of this realm, where bad memories resides. Papyrus didn't like the thought of "Bad memories" but he's willing to risk it, after all, he's the GREAT PAPYRUS! and he's willing to take the chance to confront the human.  Papyrus had to use everything he had to go through these bad memories. Disturbing looking bone creatures, rolling meatballs, evil traplings, floating puzzle pieces and a dog? Were obstacles that Papyrus had to pass in order to complete his objective. At last, he finally found it, the FLOWER. Papyrus then asked what he's supposed to do with the flower? The figure responded with. You need to....... DESTROY IT........ Papyrus got shocked and refused immidiately, he didn't want to kill a flower just like that! But the figure told him that it's the only way to recieve his second chance to confront the human. Papyrus pondered for a second, he didn't really what to say or do at this point. But suddenly, this flower started to grow. Papyrus got startled that a small flower could grow so big in a matter of a second. The figure then said. Destroy it.... before it's too late.... Papyrus had no idea what he meant with "Too late", it's just a flower. Roots then grew on the ground and started to attack Papyrus. The flower's petals started to get more pointy and it started to grow thorns on its body. It then got a disturbing looking face that stared him down. Papyrus panicked and tried to calm it down. But words isn't the solution at this point, he had no choice but to listen to the figure's order.... to DESTROY IT.Once Papyrus hit a bone attack on the flowers face..... then everything went black. All he could hear was laughter. He then opened his eyes and noticed that he was back at his home at SNOWDIN. He decided to meet the human later than usual, and actually plan on how he's going to confront the human. But the voice was still there, and told him what exactly he had to do.... and without any hesitation, Papyrus listened and followed his orders. Papyrus is no longer himself anymore. Act 2 Lore:  Papyrus tried to prepare himself for the inevitable, he practised his attacks over and over to improve and ends up gaining new ones. How strange it was, that he've gained such power out of nowhere. In fact, he abused it a bit just to see what he's capable of. Since Papyrus didn't show up to the human as he used to before, then Sans took his place to confront them. Sans didn't even try to fight back, he's just telling the human about the consequences for killing innocent monsters to gain something that isn't even worth it. But his words didn't affect the human, and Sans' only option was to stall the human just so the monsters got more time to evacuate. Sans managed to get some time, but in the end..... he failed to stall them longer. He got weak when the human managed to hit a punch directly into Sans' stomach. Sans tried to tell the consequences yet again, he was hoping that some of his words could change the human's mind. But sadly, he failed. He got killed by recieving alot of hits from the human, and his last words was "Go get him..... brother.... wherever..... you are....". [[ACT 2]] The human finally arrived to the JUDGEMENT HALL and it seems like that they've got alot of LOVE, reaching over to Level 17, and yet something felt wrong when it comes to the human. Sans did a good thing when he stalled the human. The human proceeded to walk through the hall and hoped to kill their final victim, ASGORE. But someone was blocking their path. The bells started to ring and an ominous feeling started to go through the humans body. The monster that stood infront of them started to say. NYEH HEH HEH!! GREETINGS HUMAN!! I CAN SEE THAT YOU'RE SURPRISED TO SEE THE GREAT PAPYRUS HERE OUT OF ALL PLACES!! WELL.... AS YOU CAN SEE.... I AM HERE TO GIVE YOU AN OPTION. TWO IN FACT!! BUT BEFORE YOU CAN CHOOSE..... I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION..... WHAT'S THE POINT OF KILLING? IS IT SOME SORT OF JOKE THAT I'M MISSING...? IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WITH YOU HUMAN.... AND I'D LIKE TO KNOW.... WHY...? I'M HERE FOR YOU!! AND I'M WILLING TO HELP AND LEARN YOU THAT IT'S WRONG!! SO... YOUR OPTIONS ARE.... LISTEN.... OR F-FA-FACE T-THE CONSEQUENCES The human didn't look amused at all and started to take a step forward. Papyrus backed up a bit out of fear. And yet he was brave enough to say.... ..... I SEE..... MY WORDS WON'T DO AT THIS POINT.... BUT.... I CAN MAKE A PROMISE..... AN EFFORT I'M WILLING TO TAKE.... TO CHANGE WHAT'S GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD!! ... AND I WILL GIVE YOU.... A LESSON.... YOU'LL HARDLY FORGET. The battle has begun.  * PAPYRUS  35 ATK  50 DEF * The lesson has begun.   Act 3 Lore A wild battle between two monsters has begun. Papyrus tried his best to beat the human with all he got. He revealed his unknown powers to the human to the human in order to succeed to beat them and not letting them pass. From a regular blue soul attack.... to a gray one? This soul was known as the "Ping soul", a soul that'd put you back to into place every 3rd second. But after all of that.... Papyrus failed..... [[9999999]] His weapon split into two pieces, and the knife even managed to land a huge scratch on Papyrus' chest. Papyrus collapsed into the ground and started to cover his wound.... But after all of that.... Papyrus started to cry with a smile on his face. He then said. NYEH.... HEH... HEH... AFTER ALL OF THAT.... MY WORDS DIDN'T AFFECT YOU ONE BIT...... IT'S UPSETTING.... BUT I'M NOT MAD..... I STILL BELIEVE THAT THERE'S SOMETHING GOOD INSIDE YOU HUMAN..... I BELIEVE SO...... I KNOW..... SO.... At this point Papyrus would've fade away and return to the realm of the dead..... but.... something happened.... the particles that faded away from Papyrus' body started to come back..... but he twitched violently..... Oh dear.... it seems like our friend is out of commission... that's a shame The human watched the twitching corpse standing on his feet again with a smile..... After long years..... i finally have a body to walk around with..... and it's all thanks to you. The human had no idea what was going on, so they attempted to run towards the twitching corpse and put an end to it once and for all.... without success.... The corpse just took the knife away and shoved it violently into a pillar. Hehehe.... i can see.... that you're not fully done with me..... Then how about we play.... a little game.... The corpse started to laugh like a maniac and it's entire body started to change.[[ACT 3]] The corpse's body started to slowly fade away, piece after piece.... except for the head. The head remained whilst the entire area around started to get.... corrupted.... The head started to grow and grow.... until it was a disturbing floating head.... Human specimen.... I haven't been in this world for so long now..... but i can tell that you've killed alot of monsters.... you've certainly gained lots of LOVE.... NOW IT'S TIME TO PUT IT TO THE TEST!! A bunch of disturbing spinning Papyrus heads started to appear from left to right, they spewed out bones, the word NYEH and even.... meatballs? Papyrus was no longer with us.... A creature that is beyond our reality has taken over the poor soul's body.... and uses it as a puppet.... Now you're facing.... Corrupted Papyrus [[Act 1 sprites]]

[[Act 2 sprites]]

[[Act 3 sprites]]

Thank you all for joining my blog.

[believerindaydreams]

GBU rewatch followup

...cleaned up, readable version, now with fewer typos and after-the-fact commentary in parentheticals. 

things I am looking out for in particular:

- how to write trios 

- everything that Angel Eyes does (less than I thought, it turns out; I was bang on the money with “Animal Magnetism” having him only exist for Meaningful Moments)

- the state of Eastwood’s hair (with the hat you don’t really notice it except in the desert scenes, when it is Absurd)

- some of that sweet, sweet Morricone music because it’s the one part of the film that no amount of clever writing will adequately evoke and I love it to pieces (still true)

let’s do this thing then

like, the opening credits are pure stylish flair. That can’t be a book. It’s gorgeous. It’s perfect for what it is. has nothing to do with translation to a 70s au but that is entirely, utterly besides the point

Tuco’s “I have a gun in one hand and a dead chicken in the other” will never not make me laugh

SPAIN: specifically the Spanish landscape and how gorgeous it looks. it all sort of runs together, appropriation and reappropriation and Spain standing in for Mexico…oh hello Angel Eyes,  you look a lot more impressive than Tuco does. Nice entrance.

Also we don’t actually know at first that he’s The Bad? He’s just wandering into frame like he could be the Good cowboy or something, it’s not the music that tells you. It’s the way that the guy’s family respond to his presence and just Go without saying anything. Something about Angel def. invokes silence. No wonder he and Blondie get on.

…like, this whole scene where he’s like “I am going to enjoy your delicious soup but stare at you“ is actually hilarious? Like he’s def. got a sense of humour- it’s just that everybody looks subdued with Tuco in the picture.

There’s a very thin divide between the tension of comedy and the tension of “is he gonna kill me” and Angel Eyes just straddles all over that line.

I like you, Man Eating Soup. Too bad you gotta die now.

…yeah, I think my characterisation of “bounty hunter who keeps his given word but has no qualms” is bang on the money.

last time I didn’t notice how Lee’s voice shifts to being more amused when he’s about to do something incredibly violent. Or how great his voice was at all. Like that was clearly a mistake, he’s great.

Tuco! *hearts* With a trio of men surrounding him in a triangle. ‘m sure that’s thematic.

Clint sounds like Rowdy but more terse.

Oh hell I love the way that we get closeups on Tuco staring at things. I love characters who stare at things in general (cf. Stargate and a team who communicate by looks), and Leone delivers there.

“how much you worth now” and Tuco’s just lol I dunno.

oh Tuco you theatrical hooligan nobody believes your absurd accusations. also geez I couldn’t write that many swears if I spent all day over it.

That is a DAMN sexy wanted poster.

Forgot about Blondie calling Tuco “known at the rat” part. Hmm. I wonder what that’s about?

I always forget how choreographed the duo’s escapes are, like it’s not just shooting a rope, there’s a lot of effort that go into those.

you smug thing Clint. you smug thing. (I assume this was just one of his wry looks past the camera, as he does a lot).

does trans! Angel Eyes in the 70s smoke a pipe. Yes. Yes he does.

“even a filthy beggar like that has got a protecting angel” oh Angel Eyes you has a crush. also a pretty good sense for a scam- are we meant to infer that Angel and Tuco used to play this game? (Also he has correctly assessed Blondie’s Divine Status or whatever it is that keeps him clear of disasters.) 

the way that Tuco jumps on the horse is just. pure sex appeal.

“sawed off runt” Blondie gets in 1 insult but it actually means something, as opposed to Tuco doing 10,000 for the sake of the audience

I see what you did there with putting “the good” on screen just after Blondie abandons Tuco to die horribly in  a desert. I see it.

yeah, I thought I remembered Tuco saving up all the really good insults for Spanish.

(now that I know that Eli’s from Brooklyn, I can’t *not* watch a performance of a deeply pissed off New Yorker who’s in this godsforsaken desert for the dosh but refuses to budge an inch on being a fast talking SOB. The rapid fire line deliveries for sure.)

had forgotten this bit about Angel slapping around a girl….

Aw, Tuco as soon as he finds water is A. drink some and B. play with it. awww you’re adorable Tuco

must go figure out what that thing Tuco wears on his hand is. also contemplate whether the 70s one wears braces.

yeah, like, “I got dumped so I’ll pull myself together and also drink this man’s crazy red liquor and take a hat cos I need a hat” that is peak Tuco right there.

no wait that wasn’t. What is is the exquisitely judged moment where he decides that the guy will probably want the liquor to drown his sorrows afterwards and leaves it.

I am very fond of the way that the war is presented as a disaster that is Happening but which none of the three leads give a __ about. The much maligned poster got that bang on the money.

everything looks so lived in, always, even though I assume they were building sets? Why can’t American westerns of the period look This Real, did they actually build houses or what

Blondie has vividly green eyes. Right then. Tuco’s are brown.

Tuco hires some backup to help him with Blondie. that’s…smart.

I think, actually, that Blodnie’s blue circle calico shirt is something he oughta wear in the 70s. It suits.

“your spurs” like a knight, ha. That’s a terrible gag, Blondie.

why is there so much blood on Tuco’s face. what was he doing to get banged up like that.

so he’s on a stool with a noose, with a gun pointed at him, and Blondie is still not acting like this is anything serious.

ohmigod I LOVE this bit with the cannon and the house collapsing. Hah. It seriously is like Blondie’s a force of nature though

Tuco tracks Blondie by favourite cigar stubs. Also smokes them after. Tempting to borrow that. (like they’re in bed together, Tuco steals his cigar, that kinda thing)

…is he. Is Tuco wearing flares in the 1860s. Yeah I think he is.

“I brought TWO guns” lol sure you did Tuco.

And Tuco winces when Shorty dies and is it like, two against one would make things too complex for him, or he’s mad that Blondie replaced him that fast, or what’s going on here that he let another man hang like that. Blondie doesn’t seem to mind much.

black horse = black car for Tuco.

Tuco mocking Blondie’s fair skin, like yeah there’s definitely a bit of a racial thing here.

“You’ll die. Very slowly, old friend.” also I have an umbrella ain’t it pretty

I think one of the reasons I glom on this film is because for all its length there is literally something happening every single minute. Like most films have dead time when I could, you know, breathe or something, but I haven’t stopped typing since I turned this on.

(the comedy sensibility there as well. You can’t have dead air when you’re writing comedy, things have to be leading somewhere. )

course at the moment the point is “look at this very big desert with two very small people in it”...here comes the whump. Clint sure knows how to lean into it.

sweet jesus Tuco with the sun behind you there you look like some kinda avenging 70s disco angel yourself. also the headband.

here comes the celestial music. here comes the cavalry. see, when Tuco gets into a mess he has to get out of it himself, but this is the second time that Divine Intervention has saved Blondie.

…gosh it’d be funny if that watch in the stagecoach was the Few Dollars More watch. I’m sure it ain’t.

Tuco’s not very good at interrogation. I’m sort of comforted by this, because it suggests he doesn’t do it very often.

when did Blondie get to the stagecoach. seriously when. (oh right it’s Leone. movement is a free action as long as it’s off camera)

that’s twice that Blondie’s called Tuco a rat though. what is about rats for Blondie.

maximum Clint hair fluff here. why do I have a thing for heroes with daft hair. tis daft.

I don’t think that New Mexico has goat skin waterbottles? Whereas they are all over the place in Spain. Hmm.

…okay, I have missed something. Why is Tuco wearing an eye patch now? Like, did he just look at Bill and say “that’s great I’m having that”. Anyway the way he forgets and shoves it up his face to look at the wall hanging is a hoot. (he keeps doing this like a kid playing pirates)

battle between “keeping on hat” and “oh I’m praying”- hat wins. Figures. 

Tuco still has a nasty cut on his face from before. Either this is very good continuity or Eli got hit by a brick during filming and it’s still healing. I honestly cannot tell.

Tuco genuinely doesn’t know nothing about Blondie’s past. Figures.

oh you *bastard* Tuco trying to exhort a deathbed confession. that’s probably his lowest moment in the whole movie actually- cos Blondie started it with the whole “let’s play who dumps who in the desert”

of course Blondie doesn’t fall for it. course he doesn’t. (I do wonder how much of this is Tuco wondering what Blondie will let him get away with.)

also there’s an implied passage of time during which Blondie thinks it’s hilarious to have Tuco fetch and carry for him. That tracks.

ohhhh and the Pablo scene like I have a lot of feels about this. mostly about the way that Tuco is genuinely happy to see Pablo and it all goes wrong, and I already write bits of this relationship into fics but aww…Pablo is genuinely disappointed. Tuco genuinely loves him.

(cannot tell whether Tuco shags a lot of girls or is angry with Pablo and wants him to think he shags a lot of girls. could go either way.)

BLONDIE WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS you creep

in which Tuco just straight-up makes up junk about his brother cos he has an audience. and Blondie goes along with it to the extent of giving him a cigar, and it’s- aw. actual partnership moment. for reals.

“god’s not on our side” yup, and maybe Blondie would have done something if he hadn’t been asleep? But I get the idea he’s happy to take cues from Tuco for improv. 

 Tuco’s “oh fuck” moment inf. relatable.

hello Angel. And our duo knows him, too.

…I, uh, honestly can’t figure out why Blondie thinks it’s a good move for Tuco to pretend to be Bill Carson. Like I honestly can’t see how they’d even think that was a thing to do unless they’d seen the movie up to this part. Like, Tuco and Blondie basically have to be plugged into the narrative to know to do anything here except keep their mouths shut and hope to get to Sad Hill at some point?

Angel Eyes is a practical bastard. Also a sergeant. heigh-ho.

these three definitely know each other and I can’t figure out how. What’s this friendship thing about? It is a mystery. (def Tuco and Angel have a past though. What kind?)

Also Tuco figures that Angel is gonna straight up poison him at first, so that couldn’t have been a wholly easy relationship.

…okay, I’ll have to have a scene where Tuco finally says “yes I think your being called Angel is a hoot”- it is, after all, Here.

Is it that Angel doesn’t like getting his hands dirty, or that it’s easier to fob off the trouble on somebody who does like it, or that he genuinely thinks that anyone less hefty than Wallace might not be able to shove around Tuco like this? mysteries.

I wonder what Blondie is thinking. The prison choir is the goddamn creepiest thing.

yeah, Blondie, you think you’re tough but I think you’d spill your guts out also if the alternative was gouging. That’s not Tuco being a coward, that’s just Angel Eyes treating the object of his crush/a stoic/the white guy better than Tuco. It’s not like there’s a Great Moral Principle at stake for Tuco not to talk or anything.

“We’re going for a ride” is like custom-built to be an Epic Catchphrase though.

…blood doesn’t puddle like that. Someone on production screwed up. (blood is always theatrical in this film. too red and technicolour.)

…where was I? Oh yes. Tuco’s now worth 3000 dollars and is proud of it.

And Wallace is enjoying hurting him. Wallace is exactly the type that Tuco doesn’t grok; hurt somebody because they hurt you, or because you’re mad at them, or they have something you want, but just for the sake of hurting, that I don’t think tracks for him.

(Tuco and Blondie’s scam sure has got around if Wallace knows it. I guess that could have been Angel who told him, but it’s…it’s more like this thing where everyone in the film knows things that were said on screen before? I’d have to do another watch to contemplate this, but the notion fascinates me.)

That “I can’t do it while you’re watching me” is almost cute. Like, obviously it’s a ploy to kill Wallace, but also, it’s cute.

Oh yes, the “we nearly killed Eli” scene”. Thank christ the man had a natural sense of self preservation.

Lots of people in this film wear sexy short cloaks. I love those. I want one of the trio to have on in the 70s, anachronistic or no- maybe Blondie? Dunno.

all three leads have a bit where they’re just spying on the other two. v. sexy.

I’d just like to note that as somebody who has infinite patience for wandering around deserted lonely locales, I love this desolation hotel scene.  

YES BATH SCENE, LOVE THE BATH SCENE

…dumping in all the nice bath salts cos he can. Completely undeterred by being a naked man in a bath facing a gun. continuing with the bath afterwards…

And also Blondie knows Tuco just by the gun. That’s not tracker smarts, that’s, um, divine inspiration.

kitten. Aw, you little kitten.

the way Blondie says “old friend” Angel Eyes actually suggests that it was Tuco who met Angel first.

“So that’s why you came to Tuco”. Yeah, I love mutually necessary relationships, and this one sure counts.

“I want that blond alive” yes we know Angel. We know.

“Were you gonna die alone” oh that IS shippy. 

sometimes Tuco crosses himself after a death, sometimes he doesn’t. there’s no apparent logic there.

the way that Blondie whistles and shoots a guy is max. cowboy aesthetic. also messed up.

Blondie seems cool with Tuco killing Angel. Okies.

(I guess he figures at this point that Angel will have to be waiting...)

I’d remembered the “it’s for you”. Had not remembered Tuco tearing up the paper after, but whatevers.

where does Tuco get all these hats. How? Does he just steal hats whenever he sees a new one?

Leone’s favourite trick of ‘things off camera don’t exist” is amazing. really it is. A whole army camp…

and really, this is all extra, they could just go ahead and have the cemetery duel now, but that’s not really the point.

Actually, Blondie does seem perfectly content to let Tuco do most of the talking when it needs to be done.

That whole bit with the liquor swigging- goes along with my notions of Blondie not actually being a very heavy drinker, Tuco being more enthusiastic. also I do like Tuco’s genuine “really?!” upon being told he could make colonel, like this is the first time somebody’s told him he could be something other than a priest or a bandit, and maybe he would have gone for it if he wasn’t hip deep into the 200,000 thing.

And the mutual Blondie/Tuco “this guy’s insane” looks they swap when the captain’s not looking at them, tis fab.

it’s so weird that nobody in this camp is talking…until they start yelling.

Tuco’s notion of avoiding getting killed by cannon fire is to hide as far out of frame as he can. Given how Leone framing works, this is maybe not so dumb.

it takes the entire civil war for Blondie to render a moral judgement, i. e. war is bad. I feel like he’s obscurely irritated that circumstances have forced him to profess an opinion about something.

Hang on, didn’t Blondie learn the name of the cemetery from Angel Eyes earlier? Does he actually need Tuco at this point?

Blondie next to a big case that says “explosives” is…uh, very Bugs Bunny.

…oh, yeah, it does help having a partner to blow up the bridge. Right.

it is genuinely fun, though, watching these two work as partners. They’re very practical when they want to be.

Tuco taking several minutes to gulp his way into telling Blondie his half of the secret is…interesting. Trusting. And I suspect probably saves his life later. Cos Tuco’s right and blowing up this bridge is dangerous and one of them could easily die…and he is, for once, actually doing his best to do right by his partner in a completely stupid and insane world.

lighting your cigar on the explosives is also very Bugs Bunny.

Blondie, just cos Tuco went to sleep with his arse in easy kicking position doesn’t mean you have to kick it. Also I wonder what Tuco’s whimpering there.

and the young soldier scene. I have notions about the utility of Useless But Kind Gestures that I’ve been ranting about in various 1984 postings for a while, and Blondie gets one here. Oughta contemplate that at length later.

oh look it’s the cemetery. Tuco throws away his map.

…and three minutes go clean out of my head, as they do, because the simple fact is that even with the grave name this is a ridiculous task - how do you find one grave in all five thousand? and Leone is covering for it with a mystical quasi-religious invocation to get Tuco to where we need him to be. Thing is, it works on me. Can’t talk sensibly about the Ecstasy, there is is.

The framing of Angel Eyes coming in is epic, I gotta say. First person. Have we had any first person all film?

…but Blondie, why were you having Tuco dig up Arch Stanton’s grave when it’s the wrong grave, unless you knew Angel was coming? He knows Angel’s coming is all I can think of.

also I think we’re being asked to assume that Blondie took Tuco’s gun while Tuco was asleep with his arse in the air, unloaded it, then put it back, and then kicked him awake. dang if that isn’t a sequence I would have enjoyed Leone committing to celluloid.

okay, so. Three-way.

Tuco’s thinking “if one of these people is gonna shoot me, it’s probably gonna be Angel. So I’ll shoot Angel, and Blondie probably shoots Angel too, and then we see where we are. if they both shoot me I’m dead anyway.”.

Angel Eyes, I bet, is just figuring he should get off a shot at the better shooter first, and he figures that’s Blondie.

Blondie knows who has a weapon, so he just has to spin this out and make it look good for Angel Eyes. Easy. I wonder what he would have done if it wasn’t, though?

(we aren’t ever gonna know are we)

I can’t tell who Angel Eyes is trying to shoot with his last shot. I assume it’s Blondie, but the framing makes it hard to tell?

Tuco, you hafta bring all that money back to civilisation, wrecking the bags doesn’t help there.

Ah yes. The noose. Where did Blondie even get a noose? Is it worthwhile asking the question?

I spent a long time the first time I watched this, genuinely wondering if Tuco was gonna get killed. (I didn’t want Blondie to kill him.) And I was genuinely unsure…until I realised that we were setting it up just like old times, and Blondie was gonna have to shoot him free because he always *had* shot him free, and was always going to, and it was a oroubous of a movie. Which is all the more so in the day of easy DVD rewatching.

which is not to say I didn’t quiver when Blondie levels the gun.

anyway after all he’s been through, I think Tuco’s entitled to shout that last line.

whew!

and some followups for the notes 

...yeah, it definitely makes more sense for Angel Eyes to be an old acquaintance of Tuco’s (unless you’re writing a fic where Blondie is a Weird Force of Nature and trying to reconcile two different people’s connection to him is a driving force of the plot, but I’ll remember this for the Animal Magnetism sequel).

I guess that Tuco is definitely pretending to be Bill Carson, but why? How does that help them? (I assume Blondie doesn’t see the whole torture-by-Angel Eyes coming...)

Yeah, I can see Angel Eyes as someone who’s perfected his gunslinger because his hand-to-hand isn’t so hot. Tuco’s the one who’d probably win in a straight bar brawl, but unfortunately for him that’s not the movie he’s in. 

[vermilionvector]

After spending a lot of Fragile Resins (60+), I finally got CR/CD for Cyno to be around 80/170, which is pretty decent. If only RNG wasn't so mean to me. It went into Def so many times. Plume is off-piece because it had such a good roll.

Stat bonus in detail:

ATK% - 5.3 (P) + 21.6 (F) + 14 (G) + 8.7 (C) = 49.6%

ATK - 311 (P) + 18 (F) + 31 (G) = 360

EM - 40 (P) + 19 (F) + 187 (S) + 40 (G) = 286

CR - 5 (Base) + 44.1 (Staff) + 13.2 (P) + 7.4 (F) + 7 (S) + 3.1 (C) = 79.8%

CD - 50 (Base) + 33.4 (Ascension) + 14 (P) + 13.2 (S) + 62.2 (C) = 172.8%

DEF% - 12.4 (S) + 27 (C) = 39.4%

DEF - 49 (S) + 35 (G) = 84

Electro DMG% - 46.6% (G)

HP% - 4.7% (C)

HP - 4780 (F)

On the bright side, he won't be as squishy because of all the def RNG gave me. Should help with his survivability a bit.

If we're to calculate the % bonus for ATK, DEF, HP:

ATK - [318 (Base) + 542 (Staff)] x 149.6% + 360 = 1647

DEF - 859 (Base) x 139.4% + 84 = 1281

HP - 12491 (Base) x 104.7% + 4780 = 17858

With the Staff at R1, his ATK will be further boosted by EM:

ATK (EM-boosted) - 1647 + (286 x 52%) = 1796

If including EM bonus from his burst - 1647 + (386 x 52%) = 1848

With the additional bonus from hitting with his E - 1848 + (386 x 84%) = 2172

If we have Kazuha's C2/Diona's C6 buff - 1647 + (586 x 136%) = 2444

If we're going to the extreme and have R5 Staff with maximum benefits (alone) - 1647 + (386 x 272%) = 2697

With Kazuha/Diona's buff = 3241

You know what? In the end, it doesn't matter. I'm done with this hellhole. Even if he's not the best with this set, I don't even care. I'm not going to farm artifacts for him anymore. This is probably the only instance I put my most effort in this game. I've been a casual player so far and I'm intending to stay that way. I'll focus on farming artifacts for Dendro support next, and it's going to be very casual.