#dental one

[canisalbus]

If only Machete wasn't so distinctly white and waifish. Otherwise one could possibly use a lookalike to fake his death and just run away with vasco. But finding someone that resembles machete would be almost as hard as making the choice to end a life to save your own.

.

[jadenvargen]

the first cut is the deepest

pt 1 , pt 2, pt 3

follow any comic updates on my patreon lawl tee hee

[2hoothoots]

i don't believe that man's ever been to medical school

[lacquerheadd]

say cheeeeeese!! ~

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i think it would be funny if people occasionally arose from the dead. like if that was a real-life one-in-a-million but well-documented Thing That Sometimes Happens, and the entire legal system around death (laws on inheritance & marriage & murder etc) had to include caveats for the unlikely-but-scientifically-possible event that the dead person in question might spontaneously self-resurrect, even years or decades after death. it would raise so many inconvenient and absurd possibilities

[trek-tracks]

That's okay, buddy, we're from the Federation union

[jiraisupportgroup]

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ Depression Dental Hygiene Tips ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

♡ Brush your teeth when you feel up to it regardless of the time of day.

♡ Brush your teeth for shorter amounts of time. If you can do 30 seconds but not 2 minutes, just do the 30 seconds.

♡ Dry brush your teeth - take a dry toothbrush and just brush. You can do this anywhere, even in bed.

♡ Use kids' mouthwash or toothpaste. The flavour is usually sweet, and you can change flavours to keep things interesting.

♡ Use kids' floss picks. They're super cute and not so aggressively minty so they can be much easier to use.

♡ Use Wisps, they're like little disposable toothbrushes and you don't need water or toothpaste to use them.

♡ Wipe your teeth off with a wet paper towel or washcloth after eating.

♡ Use chewable toothpaste. Most are designed to be used with a toothbrush, but you can just pop it in your mouth, chew it up, swish some water in your mouth and swallow.

♡ Listerine strips can be used in a similar way and can be much easier than mouthwash especially if you're not near a sink.

[artharakka]

ONE INSTANT COMMISSION SPOT OPEN

SOLD

But I might open more of these in the future if I get more crispy dental bills

I'm opening one slot for a smaller commission to do immediately between my other work. Where I live the public healthcare is jammed and since it took a week for me to get into any kind of contact with them and I would've had to wait til next year for a dentist appointment, I went to a private dentist. It was very fast but also pricey.

I'm hoping to fix the dent in my wallet a little, so, now is your chance to get past the queue if you have a smaller commission in mind!

AVAILABLE:

Simple composition (similar to my swordtember style) 80€

Waist up line art portrait without background 80€

Two sketches 80€ (40€ per sketch)

(latter can be split into two slots if there's interest)

If interested, send me an email at artharakka(at)gmail.com 🧡

[fimbry]

behold, A FOOT

[alighterwithlove]

if you talk to the average conservative voter, they'll always talk about their conservative representative with unabashed enthusiasm. "this guy is supporting my rights!!!!!" even when the representative is very much not supporting their voting constituents' rights in some cases (ie. poor white ppl not realizing they're getting poorer because of their representative)

and I bet that's why conservative candidates are so good at winning. any person listening to their voters only gets a great impression of the candidate.

and if you talk to the average liberal/leftist voter, they all hem and haw. "oh yeah, I voted for them but they're Okay, they're Disappointing. they haven't done this. they haven't done that." and I bet if you fucking pressed them to state some Good Beneficial Legislation they've passed, either the voter 1. can't name any, or 2. has to attach caveats. ("yeah biden passed student loan forgiveness BUT not ALL loans were forgiven")

why aren't we ever excited about incremental progress. why aren't we cheering to the sky about every win. maybe more people would vote if there was genuine excitement, the same type of excitement that conservative voters seem to have about anything labeled "conservative".

I'm just so fucking tired of hearing ppl be like "I'm just disillusioned with my leftist representative" EVERY TIME but are DEAD SILENT on the small victories, the progress. conservatives know how to do this, and that's why they build momentum into the next election. why does this seem impossible for the other side.

[shazzbaa]

When my friend Giandark joined Fallen London his character, terrifying gentleman Lord Bertrand Palomo, IMMEDIATELY began Seeking The Name, the optional and infamous fallen london story where you become gripped by a supernatural hunger and a search for the forbidden that convinces you to eat ever more deranged things and eventually destroy yourself!! Its all quite horrifying and I'm having a great time enjoying it vicariously through him.

anyway at one point the list of deranged things to eat includes "teeth", which is so wonderfully upsetting that I became obsessed with it, and wondered if this guy might've ever tried to solicit some involuntary donations………???? AS ONE DOES….

Deacons can't actually hear confession but Samuel's not really in a position to explain the finer points of church hierarchy. I just really love the idea of Bertrand getting in his head that eating part of a pious man should grant him some sort of absolution for his many horrible sins.

Bonus scribble:

You can't usually see it well, but he's missing one now…

[666writingcafe]

A String of Texts

Part One

Diavolo: Construction has commenced for the school.

MC: *thumbs up emoji*

Diavolo: I've also opened up an application process to fill teaching positions.

Diavolo: Solomon was right. I'm not the only one who wants a better future for the Devildom.

Diavolo: In fact, this is the current state of my office.

Diavolo: *picture of desk and floor being covered with giant stacks of paperwork*

MC: *shocked crow sticker*

MC: That's a LOT of applications.

Diavolo: I know. I was wondering if you were able to help me go through them.

MC: Certainly. What sort of things are you looking for?

Diavolo: Well, I know that some of these aren't genuine. Either they want to use this as an opportunity to exploit me, or they want to continue bullying the brothers and figure that they could get away with it if they had some amount of authority over them. I can't allow that to happen.

MC: So, weed out the phonies. Got it. Anything else?

Diavolo: Figure out who's the most qualified for different positions.

MC: Is there going to be job interviews as well?

Diavolo: Of course, but I don't want to waste my time by interviewing just anyone that's applied. I have other duties to do, after all.

MC: Understandable.

MC: Solomon and I will swing by in a little bit to grab some of those stacks.

~~~

Part Two

Lucifer: I need you to come over and spend the night at the House. I have plans with the prince, and I have no idea how long they'll last.

MC: Will do. Do I need to bring/cook dinner for your brothers?

Lucifer: I would say that's not necessary, but the last few meals have been disasters, so do with that information what you will.

MC: *thumbs up emoji*

MC: I'll grab ingredients to make stew.

Lucifer: Stew?

MC: It's generally rather filling.

Lucifer: Even for an Avatar of Gluttony?

MC: Oh, he'll get his own pot.

Lucifer: Wow...you've certainly thought about this, haven't you?

MC: Just making sure I have all my bases covered.

MC: Moving on from food...

Lucifer: Yes?

MC: Diavolo has given me some paperwork to sift through, and I was wondering if I could bring it along with me.

Lucifer: Absolutely. It's important to complete assignments for the prince. I'll make sure you have a place to work.

MC: *thumbs up emoji*

~~~

Part Three

MC: Don't forget to use protection.

Diavolo: *picture of a box of condoms*

MC: DUDE

MC: I MEANT THAT AS A JOKE

MC: I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU ACTUALLY INTEND ON PULLING THE MOVES ON LUCIFER THIS EVENING

Diavolo: *laughing crow sticker*

MC: Allow me to give you a piece of advice, then: DON'T abuse the power you have over him to make him do stuff he normally wouldn't consent to.

Diavolo: I didn't realize that future me was that much of an ass.

MC: In my timeline, that sort of thing happened long before I came in the picture. Just...don't succumb to the temptation, okay?

Diavolo: I'll try my best not to.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[territorial-utopia]

The horrors prevail (I'm going for a wisdom tooth removal tomorrow)

[sluckythewizard]

[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

[fbwzoo]

She say cheeeeeese

[ofallthingsnasty]

been thinkin about mouth inspections at the dentist (with our faves). Isn’t there a way to tell if you’ve given bjs before? Like there’s an indent in the roof of your mouth or something? Since you have experience in dentistry, i thought I might ask💀

Perhaps dentist fave pokes around in your mouth and finds that spot, asking all sorts of gross questions, who’ve you done it with? how many have you given? and then forces you on your knees, explaining the whole time what he’s doing to that spot in your mouth as he brutalizes your throat. Law or Doffy would be the worst for it. Doffy wouldn’t be able to control himself and Law would be so calm and collected, it would be scary

Yes, but only hard and recent blowjobs - there can be petechiae on your palate!! (Think tiny red spots) We don't care, though ajsjjksk and as always THIS IS FICTIONAL OFC I DON'T ENDORSE THIS AJSKKS

The mental image of 'big dick Doflamingo's everything but mostly expensive implants mill'-dental office is sending me. Baby 5 not-so-subtly chewing gum behind her mask while she makes you wait in the chair. Him coming in half an hour late (you've been nervous and sweating the whole damn time and the radio is blasting nothing but shitty early 2010s pop which doesn't help), clearly fresh from some break and not a difficult procedure, showing you just how much he doesn't care about you. He fucking reeks of cologne. Light pink scrubs that fit him so well it's not even funny. Has a weirdly delicate gold chain around his neck that really emphasizes the way his pecs puff up before connecting with his collarbone. It kind of makes you want to fall into his... well, his cleavage. (Because of course he chooses scrubs with a rather unorthodox neckline - who's going to tell him off? He's the boss. Sometimes he comes in wearing polo shirts in that same pink tone and they're always, always a little too tight.)

He throws himself into his little chair so hard it skids right up to you and he just smiles as a greeting, porcelain-white veneers blinding you for a moment, before he puts his mask up (also pink, it's a whole fucking theme here). It's all pretty standard, Baby 5's clearly fake nails clicker-clacker away at the keyboard while he lists off your dental status - until he gets to the soft tissue, especially your palate.

tw. crack treated seriously + noncon = the combo from hell, medical malpractice, Law is in here too, as a separate listing (same tags for him + hypnosis), minors dni, don't take this too seriously i had too much fun writing this it's so silly, dental hypno doesn't work like this don't worry lol

Well, that's certainly an eyebrow raiser. Looks like little old unassuming you has a bit of a wild side. He can tell you know your stuff by how big and angry-red the bruise on your mucosa is. You've been a patient of his for a long time now - and other that the fact that you pretty much look like you're about to faint every time your ass touches the chair, you've been rather forgettable (but cute, he has to admit). He can tell you don't like the way he fingers around your mouth one bit - and that you're waiting for his final evaluation, taut like a bowstring. You're probably pissing your pants at the thought of getting some major work done. He knows your type and nudges his fingers just a little farther down your throat, to your uvula, just to see how trained your gag reflex is (and to keep you anxious for just a few seconds longer, it's just too precious).

You don't even blink. Others would have coughed up their breakfast by now but you're sitting there, eyes teary and face worried. Would you look at that. It's good he's wearing his mask or else you'd be able to see that he's poking out his tongue because he's smiling so hard - you're suddenly in his top ten patients, right next to all the big bucks and two or three genuinely interesting cases. And oh, he's getting ideas with the way you fidget under his gaze. You wouldn't tattle. You wouldn't even fight back. My, you're perfect for a little lunch time fun.

Baby 5 is out of the room with a single gesture, closes the door behind her with a distinctive click. She won't bother him either, she'll just go hide in the break room and text her newest boyfriend until someone scrapes her out of there again. And you? You're already anxiously waiting for his diagnosis, fearing the worst. Oh, he'll give you the worst. It's delicious to see your face go from nervous to absolutely crestfallen as he spins some tall tale about how need to get big work done on two molars, how bad it already is and how you probably should opt for implants (his specialty, after all. And so expensive he just knows you'll do just about anything to save a little money.) Of course, you trust him. And of course, you agree for him to go with the 'best' (and coincidentally most expensive) option, even when you're clearly fighting back tears at the price. He tells you to lay back, brings the chair to the highest, horizontal position and overstretches the neck so that your mouth is in a perfect line with your throat. It's unpleasant how the blood from the rest of your body is cut off from your head in this position, how the whole room is suddenly overhead and that damn light is shining straight into your eyes. It's supposed to give him a better look at your upper teeth - but when you open your eyes to his fucking dick of all things and him telling you that you want that treatment cheap, don't you?, you learn that not everyone has your best interest in mind. (Sadly, you don't even get to answer because he just shoves himself into you and fucks the protest right out of your oesophagus.) When he's done with you, your whole face is full of spit and mucus and you probably lost consciousness at least once - turns out not enough perfusion for your brain coupled with extreme anxiety and someone gripping your throat to fuck it better isn't exactly the healthiest thing in the world.

Honestly, you'll try so hard not to go back after that experience, you really do. Problem is, you gave them your mobile number when you first signed over your data - and just two days later you'll get a barrage of texts in finest text speak anno 2004, with a million of 😜🤞😂🦩 emojis asking you about the state of your throat and if you still want that follow-up. Cheapest set of dental implants you'll ever get, honestly. You only have to sell him your dignity.

Law on the other hand... All prim and proper in starched white, medical professional through and through, yet so gentle - has a whole concept around dental phobic patients, with warm and welcoming treatment rooms, gentle music, offers laughing gas, hypnosis and even general anesthesia if the fear is especially bad. Always professional and never condescending or infanitilizing (like some can be when it comes to phobic patients). He's a dentist, a doctor, the authority in this place but he guides with a gentle hand - and people adore him.

You've been his patient for a while now - and he can't lie, he really likes you. You've been a dream to work with despite your anxiety; have endured every session bravely, you hang onto every word he says with big, wet eyes. He makes a suggestion - you take it. No matter the cost, the time, how outlandish the approach might be, you're always willing, nod your head yes and try to tough it out. You're somewhat soggy, almost whiny but that's okay. It's kind of cute, really. So when he sees those telltale red spots on your palate, he's a little surprised... You come across as so meek while on the chair, it's hard to picture you as anything else outside of it. But clearly, you're either an extremely attentive lover or you're wilder than he thought. Honestly, he's almost pouting over this revelation. Who are you fucking? Even if the sentiment is inappropriate, it should be him - at least that's what his little crush on you whispers to him deep, deep down. He mills over it a little too long, long enough for you to try to speak around his fingers in your mouth - there you go again, asking him (and so politely, too) if there is something, anything? And to his shame, all he can think about is if this is how your tongue feels like when you're using it. The way you slur against his hand, that warm and entirely too inviting mouth so close yet so far - it's giving him some shameful, shameful ideas. What harm is in a little test drive - especially when you've been proven to respond well to hypnosis. He has just enough time to rope you into a little session, as well. So he pulls a face behind the mask and explains that yes, actually, you have a little cavity - a teeny tiny thing that could be filled so easily right now, if you have the time for it. The way you immediately tense up underneath him isn't lost to him. God, you hate surprises, he knows that, and he's being so, so selfish - but it's too late to take back his words now.

He can practically watch the thoughts form in your brain, can see how you valiantly try to fight down the panic over a surprise dental procedure. But, as always, you swallow the lie hook, line and sinker. And when you ask him if he can use hypnosis on you again, he knows he's won this round. It's not ideal - you're already upset over this whole situation and to get you into that relaxed state is going to be a lot of work, but he knows you well enough by now. A sentence here, a soothing word there, gentle encouragement wrapped around it all like a bow - the moment you've let go, he can simply pull his pants down and force himself into your mouth, that's how far away you'll be. Of course, you aren't as active as he wants you to be, but the thrill and novelty of the situation is more than enough for him. The thought of marking you like this, to cum right down you throat without you or the ominous other person fucking you knowing, is more arousing than he'd like to admit. Maybe he has to stroke himself to completion (because your slack lips around him are far from enough) but his orgasm builds up quickly and hits him hard. He can already feel that pesky sense of guilt nagging away at him the moment he collects his breath - but he cleans you up and fixes your rumpled clothes and shoves all those bad feelings into some far away corner of his mind.

Your numb jaw is easily explained away, as is that horrible taste in your mouth - and he did give you a filling, after all, so hey, the lie isn't that bad, right?

(Law totally did his junior time at Doffy's terrible implant money grub mill and then vowed to himself that he'll never ever ever become like that. Well, that kinda sorta didn't work out, huh?)