#deprrssion

[dethprincess]

When you're surrounded by all these people, it can be lonelier than when you're by yourself. You can be in a huge crowd, but if you don't feel like you can trust anyone or talk to anybody, you feel like you're really alone.

I’m close to just wanting to leave it all but my baby needs me and I need to keep pushing when the fight in me is gone.

[einsteinsnutsack]

I don’t really have a place to vent anymore nor do I know who to talk to about things either. She cheated on me and I’m not sure what to do with my life. She was my everything and she was so hurt, she claimed she never felt heard and that our communication was awful. Which I can’t deny, sometimes we had a hard time understanding each others needs and wants.

I can see why maybe she wanted a way out, but I don’t think i necessarily deserved that. Which she agreed later on as well, she felt awful about it. She tells me she still loves me and she tells me she would like to rekindle what we once had in the future, but my trust is broken. She tells me she took our relationship for granted and didn’t really realize what she had until it was gone.

I’m not gonna lie, I had always been curious what it would be like to try to find someone else if we did ever break up, but in the end I think it’s too hard to move on. It’s going on 4 months now but idk how much longer I keep myself alive at this rate.

My mind is slowly eating itself, I’m consumed by what once was. 11 years of my life, I want to forget but I just can’t. Her touch, her lips, her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes use to light up when we did things together. I just want things to go back to normal again. I’m afraid I’ll never feel the same again.

I feel genuinely emotionless, I don’t find joy in anything anymore. If there is a smile on my face, I’m forcing it. I’ve changed so much mentally within these 4 months. But not for the better, my habits are getting worse. I started drinking which is something I always refused to do. I started buying delta pens, again something I never really did ever. I just want anything to stop thinking for awhile.

While I’m able to hang out with my sister and a couple friends from time to time the nights are still the hardest, especially when I’m here by myself.

I have a big bed, but I still sleep on the very far side because I would always leave her space to sprawl out and be comfortable. I miss sleeping next to her so much.

Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas were her favorite and she always went all out on decorations for the holidays, but I can’t bring myself to decorate nor celebrate holidays anymore. Halloween didn’t feel the same, my thanksgiving felt so lonely, I just know Christmas is going to be the hardest one of all.

I’m afraid I’m going to get to the point where I’m just going to end it, I can slowly feel myself deteriorating. I’m trying to move forward, I truly am, but the more I try to move forward the harder I knock myself back. She was all I ever knew and wanted to know, I know we had our fights and I know we had our toxic tendencies at some points, I did truly wanna work on those together. I also know that some people may have considered us to be toxic for one another, but at the end of the day, we were all each other had.

It was my first ever genuine relationship and it was the same for her too, we’d spent so long together and we were all we had ever really known when it came to love. Maybe things were my fault and maybe I could’ve done better. I just wish things hadn’t had turned out like they had. I just want the feeling of certainty and normality back for us.

You were literally everything to me, even if I didn’t show it correctly. You literally meant the absolute world to me and I would’ve done anything to make sure you were doing ok. Sometimes though, it felt like no matter what I did I could never make you happy and comfortable. Which I’m not sure if that was on my part or if you had your own internal conflicts, but I truly wish I had known how to work with you to ease that conflict.

I miss sitting together eating dinner and watching YouTube videos together, I miss holding you at night and rubbing your back, I know I’d complain that my arm would start to get sore after awhile and it would upset you but god what I would give to rub your back for hours on end until you fell asleep in my arms once again. I’d never complain again

I miss our little rides to your grandparents or even smaller trips to a corner store, it didn’t matter where we were going as long as I was with you. I even miss the little altercations (arguments of course) we would have with one another even though most of them were pretty trivial.

Idk what our futures hold now that we’re separated, I’d like to know that you’re doing better. Currently though it hurts to figure out if you’ve moved on or not.

Maybe I will end it, maybe I won’t. I guess I can only really ride this out until I either make it or break it I guess

[weirdraccoon]

MC *staying in bed staring at the wall*

Sebastian: Hey, you good?

Ominis *silently sitting next to MC, petting her hair*: It's ok. We're here. You're never alone, love.

Sebastian *leaves and returns with baby Tom in his arms* *placing baby Tom next to MC*: You're stuck with all of us, darling.

MC *holding Tom, a tear falls from her eye*

Sebastian *sitting on her other side, mirroring Ominis*: We love you too.

[weaselchild]

How it started

How it is currently going

[dysaniadisorder]

sorry to everyone who follows me and has to see me deprrssion post. my bad i thought it stopped being this bad in middle school

[tomfordjasminrogue]

summer deprrssion is really hitting now bc why am i looking at kpop men again......

[jewishdainix]

so..... The Stormlight Archive. what is it and how do i get into it?

So glad you ask!

The stormlight archive is an epic fantasy book series by brandond sanderson! It has a lot of topics but the two most prevalent themes I would say are healling & mental health and the morality and justofication of violence and how it relates to social class.

These books arnt perfect, and some parts of it are definetly hard to go through (the character arcs dealling with deprrssion are very realistic, and the second book has depictions of abuse that once of thr characters expirienced) but for me personally it was worth it!

The characters are all fleshed out and both protagonists and antagonists have flaws and positives. A lot of the protagonists sometimes make me go "Wow that was really shitty! I would hate them in real life, thank god its fiction"

And the books are very long. The first is 1000 pages and they keep getting longer. This keans however that characters get a lot of development each book.

A lot of people consider the first book slow but others like me disagree. Its just not fights every second.

Youll probably wont understand anything at first but by the time you get to the end of the third book youll understand nearly everything. These books have so much reread value, the first time i reread the first I didnt stop going

"How did I miss this?"

As for how do you get into it; I have a link to a pirated version of the book, though I beleive a lot of libraries have it.

[h3xactinellida]

someone gay kiss me to help me with my deprrssion

[dethprincess]

“I wish I had a good reason why I'm always striking out. But I don't. It's me. It's me. Most people find their other half. And I just have to wake up and accept already that maybe there is no other half... for this.”

-Robert Barone from everybody loves Raymond

[georgiapeach30513]

Skins is incredibly good, it is very raw and real too. And it wasn’t about sexualizing the characters, more to show addictions, deprrssion, eating disorders, dealing with abusive homes and more.

I did like euphoria but it is a very much american copy of skins.

I feel Euphoria was trying to edgy while also exploiting young girls. I think too many scenes weren’t necessary. But the cast was amazing.

Skins reminds me of a much more explicit Degrassi.

[f0xd13-blog]

Meaning you are putting money that ain't yours on your pockets while my kids was getting killed, you don do anything about it.. don even know how yo refer to us (but jews you do!!! Jews you do right?) Never helped us... in fact you just made my life go 3 years bacl again when i was already at a good place after YEARS OF DEPRRSSION. And that is why y'all going to hell... with your pumpkins

[xenodidelphis]

I have stuff planned for the Las 6 days if Falloutober I haven't been able to complete because of deprrssion/poor time management/so much work. They will be coming, though.

[sadlyquintessential]

[creepybitch]

My mental health = 🗑

My finances =🗑

My hope = 🗑

My ass = 💣

[opinionatedhumanbeing]

[flickering-candle-light]

I feel such an urge to cry and shout, but here I am. Sitting quietly giving no sign or indication. But, it’s not so bad.