#despondent

[dramoor]

(facebook)

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Today is one of those days where I wanna sleep and never wake up.

[bookwyrminspiration]

[ID in alt.]

quite the walk

[evilhorse]

Scooby Apocalypse #35

[greengrape69420]

in my despondent birdwatcher era

[olivish]

[gay-snow-white]

“My reality is that I’ve been depressed. And I have been for a very long time” 🌈

Digital, me, 2023

Trying my hand at painted portraits and working on subtle but intense expressions using paint alone. No colour picking either. From my favourite show I rewatch instead of showering.

My eyes hurt and I need a blindfold for the next few weeks.

Crit welcome~

[carpenoctem99]

in these years, I've noticed a bunch of things that weigh me down. things that burden and intimidate me to my roots. things because of which I'm not true, not even to myself. things because of which I don't even know myself. things that implore me to give up, things that bring up the grisly incidents that I keep running from. things that tear me apart, break me down, rip my skin away with every second of authority. things that fabricate who I am in the eyes of the others, things that impose me to dwell in the dark depths of misery. things that isolate me from myself, if there was one that I ever perceived.

I'm scared of being judged

I'm scared of being left at the end

I'm scared of being lonely

I'm scared of not being validated

I'm scared of messing everything I touch

I'm scared of what people think of me

I'm scared of being hurt and suffering in pain once again

I'm scared of committing to things I crave because I self-doubt

I'm scared of promising people because I don't trust myself

I'm scared of not being new cause people get bored

I'm scared that if people got to know the real me, they'll leave me and run away

I'm scared of not being good enough

I'm scared of getting attached to people

I'm scared of letting people down

I'm scared of being a pushover

I'm scared of trusting people because I can't trust myself in the first place

I'm scared of not achieving what I want

I'm scared of being bad at things and accepting defeat

I'm scared of hurting people who love me

I'm scared of never getting to know myself

I'm scared of not being able to give the people I love the things they deserve

And I'm so tired of being scared and letting things out of my grasp and jeopardizing everything

[furtherwestward]

Despondent

Driveways

[howifeltabouthim]

For three weeks I'd been bursting into tears so often it became a phenomenological question: at what point should we still say 'crying' or instead describe the moments of 'not-crying' as punctuation marks in a constant state of tears?

Chris Kraus, from I Love Dick

[archonsabyss]

Is it really not okay to not do anything? to not want to be anything?

Unacknowledged childhood wounds steal our dreams and passions, and then as we mature it leaves us bereft of what once fueled our souls. Hopeless, despondent, content with being nothing, not wanting to be anything.

Or am I making excuses for myself out of laziness because I don't want to do anything but be on my phone??

Everything is so confusing. I don't know whether I'm right or wrong, whether I'm okay or not okay

[monkmain]

Infected blue fruit maggots

Size ranges from two pixels to ten (when detached) and colors are different shades of tan. The number of Maggots born ranges from five to fifteen, but only five maggots are shown attached to you. The attached maggots’ colors do not reflect the individual maggots themselves and are always randomly generated. Their IDs and stats do not affect their behavior, size or color, which are all randomly generated at the beginning of the cycle. (Except behavior they all behave the same)

Harpy lizard

Harpy lizards are flying lizards that cut through the air like knives, too quick to be struck when flying but helpless when touched by water.

Harpies, when touched, will burn you and kill you almost instantly. Any weapons you throw near them will melt into useless sludge, and bombs will explode if even in the same room as the harpy.

Harpies are immune to acid and explosions, but extremely weak to water. When one comes in contact with water, it will begin steaming and flailing violently. If they manage to leave the water, this effect will wear off after a while, but if they stay in the water thay will eventually pass out and float motionless on the water’s surface. In this state they can be safely touched and weapons will work normally.

If a harpy has three sixes in their ID, no more and no less, they will spawn with a fire egg on their back that detaches when killed.

Although they have a bite damage chance, you will always die when grabbed due to their red-hot skin.

Harpies are neutral towards each other and ignore other types of lizards (excluding little lizards, which they actively hunt).

Stats:

Health: 5 - 6.5

Can climb poles? Yes

Can climb walls? No

Basespeed: 5.3

Toughness: 2.2

BodyMass: 3

VisualRadius: 1500

BiteDelay: 7

BiteDamageChance: 1/8

BiteDamage: 4.5

AttemptBiteRadius: 200

SwimSpeed: 0

WaterVision: 0

ThroughSurfaceVision: 0

TongueAttackRange: n/a

TaimingDifficulty: 3

Bubblebomb

just a cherrybomb disguised as bubbleweed

[transcendentalmaggot]

I received my final denial for SSDI. My work credits have now expired since my injury and subsequent unemployment. I’m still working with DVS to find work but they believe I may be too disabled. What an absurd nightmare. I have absolutely no words and no where to turn to.

[willard-herman-art]

Life isn’t worth being alive for—

[ask-cloverfield]

[howlingblaster]

Its been a whole year without new images of gerard way’s thigh and calve meat

please.