#did sort of have to go quantity over quality I feel ^^;

[couch-collector]

please dear couch collector , more of datastormshipping while Ryoken/Revolver is working/busy 🙏🏻

An excellent request though I was a little pressed for ideas. Here's how I imagine PM would handle being deprived of BF during an especially busy week...

(a.k.a. cat transformation)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading updates: april 2025

HI wow what a month! 2025 felt like it was going REAL FAST until about mid-March, and ever since then it's slowed to a sort of molasses. despite the seeming influx of extra time I read much less in April than I have in any of the previous months this year - this is the first month I haven't even cracked double digits! which is fine, of course, it's not a competition, but it is interesting to think about what slowed me down so drastically.

(just kidding, it's not a mystery. it's heaps and heaps of stress. oops!)

ANYWAY. fortunately April's book haul has largely been a case of quality of over quantity, introducing me to several books that I think are guaranteed to land on my year-end best-of list. without further ado:

what have I been reading?

Under the Skin: The Hidden Toll of Racism on American Lives and on the Health of Our Nation (Linda Villarosa, 2022) - I checked this book out last month alongside Dr. Uché Blackstock's memoir, Legacy: A Black Physician Reckons With Racism in Medicine, as kind of a mini-series on racial bias in the American medical system. while I feel like I broadly learned more overall from Villarosa, thanks to her taking a journalistic approach that allows for a broader scope than Blackstock can achieve by primarily focusing on her personal experiences, I found that the two books complemented each other extremely well and each served to bolster and deepen the other. one major advantage of Villarosa's work is the geographic variability and the ability to meet healthcare workers and patients from a much wider range of places than Blackstock's New York hospitals, with particular focus on poor communities in southern states. Villarosa's writing has a strong, compassionate, deeply curious voice that makes her subjects incredibly vivid, rendering them with dignity even as their medical nightmares are laid bare. it was an incredible read and one that had been languishing on my TBR for a while, and I'm very glad I finally made the time.

Earthlings (Sayaka Murata, 2018, trans. Ginny Tapley Takemori, 2020) - while I didn't love this novel quite as much as Murata's briefer wonder, Convenience Store Woman, it did cement Murata as an author whose work absolutely fascinates me. her grasp of trauma and alienation is incredible, and she has a way of depicting unconventional desire in a way that's unlike anything I've ever seen. I'm supremely excited to read more of her work.

The Love Hypothesis (Ali Hazelwood, 2021) - in case you haven't already heard the news: I read the alleged Reylo laboratory AU romance novel expecting to be a big hater and I ended up loving it. joke's on me! you win this round, Ali Hazelwood.

Crying in H Mart (Michelle Zauner, 2021) - listen: you never want to be the guy saying that a woman's memoir about losing her mother to a painful and sudden cancer isn't that sad. to be clear, it is an extremely sad book! Zauner does an incredible job rendering the all-consuming pain of nursing her mother through her final days, a pain devastatingly unique to everyone who experiences it. in this case, the biracial Zauner also has the daunting sense of losing not only her mother but also a core part of her identity, struggling to figure out how to be a Korean American woman without the connection her mother provided. it's a tragedy! it's several tragedies all in one place, make no mistake! but I also feel like I've spent YEARS hearing this book hyped up as The Saddest Book Ever, and perhaps I've just read too many sad memoirs but it was like. it was fine. it's just fine. solid B+, not mad I read it, but I have read sadder. probably I am going to hell for this.

Liquid: A Love Story (Mariam Rahmani, 2025) - I was super excited for Rahmani's debut novel, which has a compelling premise: stuck in a stagnating academic career and with her parents nagging her to wed, an unnamed queer Iranian-American woman decides to go on 100 dates across Los Angeles to find a likely candidate for a marriage that can bring her financial security. her plans inevitably go awry when a family tragedy requires her to travel to Iran, where her goals are brought more sharply into focus - and she ultimately resolves her romantic quandary. it's a stylish book, almost painfully so; I can't say I'd recommend this to anyone who dislikes literary fiction because GOD is this Literary Fiction, our protagonist deeply preoccupied with her own witty malaise and caustic observations. she's a little awful and I liked her a lot, but I also think that the resolution Rahmani brings her protagonist to was devastatingly expected - and unfortunately, no amount of self-aware lampshading actually makes it less predictable. I'm conflicted! it felt like a lot of building up to not a lot of payoff, but I'm compelled all the same and I'm hoping to see more of Rahmani in the future.

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender (Kit Heyam, 2022) - god, what a delight of a book. Heyam takes a gorgeously open approach to what constitutes "trans history", casting their net wide to recognize gender nonconformity far beyond contemporary understandings of what it means to be transgender. Heyam advocates for a wide recognition of experiences throughout history: people whose gender identities were shaped by non-Western religions and cultures, those whose identities blurred between same-gender attraction and a desire to be recognized as a different gender than the one expected of them, those whose transgressions of gendered boundaries can't be proven to be align strictly with 21st century ideas of transness. Heyam's approach is one of radical inclusiveness, seeking not to "prove" any particular understandings of transness in historical figures but simply to point at a long, global history of people living outside of a gender binary and weave all of these instances together in the understanding that all of these experiences support and bolster each other in affirming that across time, language, and culture, people bucking gender norms have always existed. reading this book felt like holding a mug of hot chocolate.

Afterparties (Anthony Veasna So, 2021) - genuinely impossible for me to talk about this short story collection without acknowledging that it was published posthumously by So's mother and partner after he died very young. I will freely admit that the first story did not grab me, and since I'm fussy about short stories I might well have set down the book after that if not for the strange sense that I was holding a small representation of a man's life in my hands. I guess that's always the case with a book, but somehow it felt extra sharp here. in any case, I'm glad I stuck it out; So's stories about Cambodian immigrant communities in California are messy and loving and sorrowful and silly, delving deep into the sadness that can cling to a family for generations. I'd be absolutely remiss not to pay particular attention to the final story, "Generational Differences," in which So writes from the point of view of his own mother, talking to his child self and recounting a tragedy. it's a brave and vulnerable approach that I've never encountered before, and it's really something special.

an obligatory update on my book bingo sheets: as usual, the sheet that I'm filling in opportunistically is thriving, with the addition of Liquid completing another bingo and getting me very close to two more

and the list of books that I specifically planned out is LANGUISHING

finger crossed for May, when I'm hoping to cross at least two more off the list...

[hungermakesmonsters]

Hello, hoeny! Congrats on 500 followers! 🥳🥳 (You deserve much more for this amazing works/pieces of art you did, so let's go for 1k!)

Could you write a stressed Billy before his first date with the reader (preferably when he talks about it with Frank). You know he always teased him about quality over quantity and when Billy first finds someone he cares about more than usual he doesn't want to screw it up and Frank is all "haha, I told you, son of a bitch".

Thank you so much! Have a great week! 🥰

Honestly, even though I'm not always the biggest fan of Frank as a character, I love having him annoying Billy. So I had a lot of fun writing this one, and enjoyed playing around with the idea that Billy thinks reader is too good for him. Hope you like it!! ❤❤❤

Nervous Wreck

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader (and a side of Frank Castle)

Story Rating : PG 

Warnings : None (just Billy being a cutie, which should be illegal)

His leg bounced beneath the table while his fingers drummed against he wooden surface.

Frank had found it easy to ignore at first, but after five minutes of Billy constantly tapping and fidgeting, he'd had enough.

"Jesus, Bill, can you sit still?"

"Huh? What?" Billy asked.

He hadn't even realised that he was doing it — hadn't realised much of anything, if he was to be honest about it. Since sitting in the booth across from Frank, all he'd been able to think about was you and how, after months of asking, you'd finally agreed to let him take you out.

"Shit, I ain't seen you this antsy since Afghanistan," Frank said, barely fighting back a smile as he took a drink. "Can't believe Billy the Beaut is gettin' all flustered 'bout a date."

"It's not just a date," Billy snapped, instantly realising his mistake the moment the words had left his lips.

It was too much to give away so early, and the last thing he wanted was for Frank to realise just how different you were, and how important tonight was. But, from the grin on his friends lips, Billy could tell that he'd well and truly let the cat out of the bag.

"If it's not just a date, then what is it?" Frank asked through his shit-eating grin.

"Fuck off, Frankie," Billy answered, sinking back in his seat and taking a slow swig of beer, letting his eyes drift away from Frank.

Of course, Frank knew his friend well enough to tell that he was embarrassed, even if it was something that he hadn't seen often.

"No, no — c'mon, Bill. I wanna know," Frank prompted. "What's different 'bout this one?"

All he could do was stare at Frank, at a complete loss — because, really, how could he put someone like you into words?

It had crept up on him slowly, the feeling that now consumed him, your little jokes, your smile, and the way you laughed. Little by little, he'd come to crave those moments. And, as he'd gotten to know you, he started to see more and more; your tenacity, your spirit, and the way that you always stuck to your guns and never backed down when you felt like you were doing the right thing.

The moment he'd seen you, Billy had wanted to fuck you, but the moment he started to know you was the moment he started to fall for you.

But you were smarter than that, better than that. Better than him.

You'd seen his initial advances for what they were; an attempt to get you in his bed so he could fuck you and get you out of his system. But you didn't do meaningless sex, no matter how mind-blowing he promised it would be, and you weren't willing to just be another notch on his bedpost.

But Billy Russo had never been the sort of person to be denied something he wanted.

That was how he fell into your trap.

In the months of trying to convince you to sleep with him, he got to know you, and you got under his skin. And, eventually, he stopped trying to coax you into his bed and just enjoyed the time he got to spend with you.

"Hey, Earth to Bill," Frank said, waving a hand in front of Billy's face, pulling him back to the moment.

He was grinning at Billy, the sort of grin that said more than words ever could. He could tell that Billy was in deep.

"Fuck off, Frankie," he grumbled again.

"Holy shit, she's really done a number on you, hasn't she?" Asked Frank, forcing down a laugh. "Told you man, eventually you've got to go for quality over quantity."

"Yeah, well, just 'cause you were right doesn't mean you get to be a prick about it," Billy snapped.

Both men fell silent again, eyes wandering around the bar as they slowly drank their beers. Frank knew better than to push any more than he already had — as much as he enjoyed annoying Billy, he knew that he was getting close to a breaking point. So, he let him wallow in nervous silence.

"She's decent," Billy finally said, around three minutes later.

"Huh?"

"She's a good person, Frankie. Sweet, kind — so many fuckin' things I don't deserve," he continued with a sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

"The fuck you talkin' 'bout? 'course you deserve it." Frank was quick to say.

Billy shook his head, fixing his gaze on the bottle in his hand, picking at the label with his thumb. Without warning his leg started to bounce beneath the table again.

"She's too good. I just feel like — fuck, I dunno — like my shit's gonna rub off on her and taint her, and she doesn't deserve that," Billy said bitterly.

"Hey — hey —" Frank said, demanding Billy's attention, "that's bullshit, Bill. You're bein' a fucking coward, comin' up with excuses to end things before they start."

"Coward?" Billy repeated. "I'm not a fucking coward."

"Then stop actin' like one, asshole. I get that you're scared of actually carin' 'bout someone other than yourself, but you don't get to chase her for months then back out the moment she's interested."

Billy glared across the table at Frank, hating that the other man could see right through him. If he'd had more to drink, the chances were he'd have pulled Frank out of the booth to punch him — it wouldn't have been the first time the pair had had a drunken disagreement that had come to blows — but you'd be there in fifteen minutes to meet him, so he'd been nursing the same beer for the last twenty-five minutes.

"I know you don't want to hear it," Frank continued, "but I ain't gonna sit back and watch you fuck up somethin' this good."

"I'm not —"

"Hey, just shut the fuck up and listen," Frank demanded, the only person in the world who had the ability to silence Billy Russo. "I get it — you think I don't get it? All the shit you went through as a kid? The shit we went through as Marines? You think you don't deserve her? Fine, then man the fuck up and become someone who does."

Again, Billy was silent, his jaw set and his thumb tearing through the label on the bottle.

Annoyingly, Frank was right right. He knew that Frank was right.

He couldn't throw away this chance now that he had it, no matter how daunting it felt.

"What if I can't be someone who deserves her?" Billy dared to ask.

Frank let out a sigh and shrugged; "only one way to find out."

Billy watched as Frank opened his mouth, obviously about to impart more words of wisdom when he stopped just shy of uttering the first syllable. Instead of saying anything, he smiled and nodded his head towards the door.

"Looks like someone decided to get here early."

Billy's eyes followed Frank's towards the door and he felt his stomach drop at the sight of you; red dress, boots, and a leather jacket, looking amazing. He barely realised he was moving, completely forgetting what remained of his beer and his friend sitting opposite him as he slid out of the booth and got to his feet.

Your eyes found his and you smiled, watching as he made his way to you.

"Hi," you said, nervously chewing your lower lip.

"You're here."

"Of course I am," you answered, with that smile that made him melt inside. "I said I would be, didn't I?"

His breath caught as you reached for him, your fingers trailing down his arm over his red sweater, down to his hand so you could link your fingers with his.

For a few seconds you were taken aback by how uncharacteristically quiet he was being, wondering if there was something wrong or he'd changed his mind, but then you saw the way that he was looking at your hand in his.

"Billy Russo," you said softly, "are you nervous?"

"No," he answered quickly, the dusting of pink across his cheeks easily betraying him.

Without thought or warning, you leaned towards him, pressing a soft kiss to his blushing cheek, before muttering; "come on, handsome, let's go get dinner."

[kingsillysmilez]

how do u get comms!! Like which site do you find you're getting the most attention on? And any othet tips you might have ^_^

I think it’s mostly that I’m very algorithm friendly when it comes to posting. I post art nearly everyday, if not multiple times a day, a feature most artists just cannot do. And I don’t really post anything that isn’t art related… It would be insane of me to recommend others try to do that though.

Because I post so much, people don’t, or can’t, forget that they follow me since there’s a new post to see on your feed from me all the time. Not all my posts are good, or will appeal to everyone, but that’s ok because I’ll post something else very soon. And when I’m doing comms, people see me posting comms I’ve done for other people and are reminded that I do comms almost everyday for a few weeks or whatever. And that constant reminder clearly works.

I get most of my comms from Twitter which gives me lots of feelings. But it makes sense. Now that I take comms mostly on Kofi, a lot of people don’t put what platform they came from so I’m not sure the specific numbers anymore but before I switched over to doing that I’m not kidding it was like 99% from Twitter :/

Another thing to add is that not only do I post frequently on each platform, but I post on a bunch of different platforms. It takes me a long time to post one image to all my socials but when a post flops on one platform it did fine on another. Plus it’s more convenient if that artist you like is also using the same platform you usually use right?

Im kinda going quantity over quality a bit, but i see proof it works. If I don’t post for a few days my notifications go completely dead. No engagement. Which would be fine, except that’s my entire business. Sites like Tumblr, and even Bsky now have a better non-algorithm based audience so people who want to see my art are able to find it without new content via their friends rb or relevant tags. But also anytime I put tags on any other site than Tumblr my post engagement goes down???? Do people not like seeing posts with tags in them? Apparently…

I’m focusing on post schedule because it’s pretty evident that there are much better artists than I getting less commissions so it clearly isn’t just art abilities that make commissioners come running. I’m still trying to make my art itself better of course, but I think it’s mostly that I finish so much art that I have any sort of audience at all.

Sorry this is so rambley, I’m not all that sure what to say. Getting commissions is sadly a social media thing more than an art thing I feel like, which means a lot of it is trial and error to see what works for you and your artwork to find that audience of people who like it and want to commission you.

[bi-focal12]

Writing sprint tag game!

(Even if you haven’t been tagged, you are happily invited to participate!)

Here’s how the game works:

1) set aside some time to complete a 10-20min writing sprint, breaking up your writing time and break time however you see fit (I’ll prob do 10 min writing, a 5 min break, and then another 5 or 10 min of writing)

*if you want to do a shorter or a longer writing sprint, that’s totally fine too! 10-20min is just a low-pressure guideline

2) complete the sprint!

even if you cringe at the words you put down, the point is simply to get more words on the page than what you started with, so write that awkward sentence! skip that fiddly bit to write the scene you have inspiration for! anything new that ends up on the page is progress and anything you don’t love can always be edited later

3) have fun :)

remember, this sprint is a little nudge to help you reconnect with your creative writing. it’s 100% low-pressure, anything goes, and we’re all in it together 💪

4) share your sprint results

this part is totally optional but if you’d like to play along, reblog this post (or copy-paste the rules into a new post) with as many (or as few) answers as you feel comfortable sharing

*and if you make a new post, pls tag me so i can clap and cheer for you!!

how long was your sprint?

how many words did you write?

*anything more than zero is great!

what project did you complete the sprint for?

what did you end up adding to your WIP (or new project)?

*no need to share specific lines since the sprint’s focus is quantity over quality, but absolutely go wild with the overview. did you add a whole new scene? a new character? important dialogue for character development? a fun side quest you hadn’t planned on? an interesting bit you have no idea what to do with?

what part of your new writing excites you the most?

5) connect with your fellow writeblrs!

tag people in your response post to keep the creative energy flowing and offer encouragement and kudos to those who participate and share their progress!

gently tagging my writing moots to get this started:

@peaceheather @antsday @moody-tortured-artist @agirlandherquill @ohromeoraine @sorrowsfallallaround

shoot me a message or comment if you don't want to be tagged in these sorts of things (or if i haven't tagged you and you would like to be tagged in the future for writing things)

[voidheartkisses]

Okay hello hi hello,

First off you're amazing and a gift to the world, I wish I had even half your talent. Your last piece blew my mind and I just HAD to ask,

How long have you been drawing/painting for? I imagine forever but I'm always curious how long it takes before artists reach these sorts of levels where it evolves into full-scale projects as opposed to smaller hobbyist crafts. There are so many beautiful art pieces on this platform as a whole and I'm constantly baffled by it all

Sorry if my excitement is off-putting that piece is heavenly and my mind is blown. Hope you're doing well!

Hi and thank you! That's a good question

So I've been drawing since I was born, but I've been drawing digitally for 8 years. I think in the very beginning most artists should just focus on having fun, you'll basically improve by default

after a while you will want to improve. It will be slow, but this is the stage where you'll recognize what you need work on

I'd say the turning point is when you've finally gotten far enough into your art journey without any sort of formal training (ie, a lot of artists dont learn the basics/fundamentals first, which is fine since most of us start as hobbyists) But I think learning them really did help me a lot. You start to think more about how light and shadow lays, depth, 3D objects, and more.

I highly recommend watching this video about levels of art, it's been really helpful and motivating to me throughout the years

This part is going to be long so you don't have to read it but I just wanna give my personal journey and how I got to now if anyone thinks it'll be helpful:

(2017) With digital art, I started off on ms paint and occasionally ibis paint x. Mostly using anime deviantart bases (EMBARRASSING), but after a while I developed my own style based on the people I was inspired by at the time, I was just happy to draw and didn't care much about improving at this time

(2019) The people you look up to artistically will naturally change over time (and thats okay), after a while I decided to switch to firealpaca, where I guess I got more invested on how light and shadows work, as well as making my characters look a bit more natural and develop my own style, your preference in aesthetic may also change over time which is noticeable here

(2021) Eventually, I began to lean more into semirealism (which isn't everyones preference and thats okay! realism shouldn't be the ultimate end goal of art) but I really enjoyed making stylized characters look 3D and in natural looking environments, since I felt it spoke to my own experiences, a lot of artists draw from real life experiences. I focused more on anatomy at this time as well as textures and environments, composition also became a big deal for me at this time, as well as wanting to use different colors

(2024) The change from LINEART to DIGITAL PAINTING in 2022 was the hardest for me once I switched to clip studio paint, it was basically like starting all over and I was so lost. I had a lot to figure out on my own but I knew it was a transition I had to make to draw the kind of art I wanted. But I began to study and take more things into consideration, I didn't like my art so I simply kept going "I can do better", learning from my previous mistakes and slowly making something I would be more satisfied with. At this point art felt more like "projects" then anything, because I wanted to make pieces that were of quality and had time and care put into each of them, sure it meant there was no longer much quantity. but hey that's what my smaller Cult of the Lamb lineart drawings are for!! 💙

I'm still growing and I definitely have a long way to go, but I am very proud of my progress this year, and I'll continue to grow until I'm satisfied (haha im stubborn) I also want to develop my secondary lineart style that I do when I'm not painting, since I feel that is important too

in short; time, practice, dedication, and passion are the most important, draw what you love above all else because it will be your drive to keep going, staying motivated was the most important for me

Sorry for the long post 😭

[driftingvoid-155]

Not sure if this would be helpful to anyone else, but I went through and gathered all of Jeff's lines from Into the Pit!

Adding a divider as there's quite a few. Also, I apologize if I missed some. I went through a few different play throughs and this was what I found.

(entrance) night 1, before ball pit

You want another slice of cheese and a refill on the orange soda?

Oswald: Not right now, just checking around.

Well, have fun. Not much to look at other than dust bunnies and cobwebs. I don’t think they bite.

Oswald: The dust bunnies?

No, the wolf spiders.

Oswald: Jeff, those definitely bite.

Oh. Good luck, then.

(in ballpit room) night 1

There he is!

-

(entrance) night 1

Have a good night, guys.

Hmm…

Oswald: Wait – Jeff! I think something’s wrong with my dad.

He looks fine to me. The dust probably just got to your head, kid. Go home and relax.

Oswald: W-wait-!

-

(entrance) night 1

You’re here late, kid. Your parents know you’re here?

Oswald: Uh… yeah. Dad burnt dinner so… emergency pizza.

What was he making?

Oswald: … Ramen noodles

As in the microwave kind?

Oswald: Yeah.

Ah, yeah. Been there.

You forget to add water once and the smell haunts you forever.

-

(entrance) night 1

Shouldn’t you be at home doing some homework or something, kid?

-

(entrance) night 1

Oswald: Jeff, do you have a key to the basement?

First the ball pit, now the basement. Are you that bored, kid?

Oswald: Um… Yes? I just feel like exploring.

Well, let’s make a deal. Just between you and me, I don’t pay for trash and forgot to dump a bag at the mill earlier.

Go take that trash over there and I’ll give you the key when you get back.

Oh, but take this flashlight. Gets pretty dark out there.

Oswald: Thanks but… the battery’s pretty low.

Dig around the trash if you run out. Probably all sorts of interesting things in there.

Oswald: Ew…

-

(entrance) night 1

Oswald: All done

Thanks, kid. Saved my back.

Here’s the key, as promised.

-

(entrance) night 2

Don’t cause me trouble.

-

(dining area, jeff mopping) night 2

Oswald: Hey Jeff! Um, do you have any extra slices of pizza that you could give me?

Sorry kid, you know things have been tough lately. You want something, you gotta buy it.

Oswald: Oh, OK…

-

(dining area, jeff mopping) night 2

You’re here late, kid. We don’t sell slices after lunch, so if you want pizza you gotta buy a whole pie.

Oswald: Oh. Um… I’m good for now.

-

(dining area) night 2

Oswald: This should be enough to distract Jeff.  

Enraged customer: AHHHHHH A RAT! IT’S A DIRTY RAT!

New rat in town, huh? You picked the wrong place, pal.  

-

(about Jeff, Oswald in the kitchen) night 2

Oswald: Sorry, Jeff. I’ll try to find a way to pay you back.

Oswald: Jeff makes the pizzas here all by himself. Guess he can’t afford to hire more staff.

-

(entrance) night 3

You here to pick up a pizza?

Oswald: No, just hanging out.

Oh. Someone with the name Ima Lousirr called to place an order, but they still haven’t picked up their pizza.

Ima Lousirr. Must be new in town.

Oswald: Jeff, I don’t think that’s a real name.

Ima… Lousirr… *sigh*

Stay in school, kid.

-

Pizza Fan, about Jeff’s, night 3

The pizza used to be a lot better back in the old days.

Though I have to admit, ever since Jeff took over it got a lot cheaper. Quantity over quality I guess!

-

(arcade) night 4

Hey, kid. Been noticing you tinkering around with these old machines. I don’t mind but-

Wait… did you fix all of them?!

Where’d you learn to do all that?

Oswald: My Dad. He’s pretty good with machines. He repaired all of the equipment at the old mill when he worked there. Sometimes he’d sneak me in during the summers so I could watch.

Wow. I don’t really know what to say.

I’ve been letting this place go for quite a while now. Maybe it’s time I fix things up around here, too.

Thanks for your hard work, Oswald. Here, take this.

Don’t worry about the expiration date.

Oswald: Oh, wow! Thanks, Jeff! It’s… 75 cents off…

Least I could do for ya.

Oswald: What a deal.

-

(dining area) night 4

Hey, kid. Shouldn’t you be in school?

Oswald: Uh… not today.

…

OK.

You know where to find me.

-

(security office - Jeff playing solitaire) night 5

Oswald: Watcha doin’ there, Jeff?

What’s it look like, kid? Working.

If you barged in here to ask about the room with the ball pit: No, I’m not opening the door.

Oswald: Huh? What are you talking about?

Had to start locking the door because some hooligans keep sneaking in, and leaving those balls all over the place…

You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would ya?

Oswald: No! I mean, no, I have no idea. I mean, I do need to get into the ball- I mean, I left my jacket in the room with the ball pit the other day. Could you let me in there?

Ha, nice try, kid. You’re wearing the exact same jacket you wore when you went in.

Oswald: No I’m not! This is my… backup jacket. The other one has my, um, wallet. I kinda need it to buy pizza.

Oh, yeah that’s pretty important.

Here, take the key, but don’t go playing around that ball pit again.

Oswald: I promise I’ll stay out of there as soon as I’m done. Never wanna see that thing again, anyway.

That gross, huh?

Oswald: You have no idea.

-

(in dining area) 2 star ending

Huh?

That kid better not have gotten hurt in there.

*walks to ball pit room and pit bonnie, hanging from the ropes, lunges*

-

(3 star ending)

Creature dies in the ball pit ropes. Pizza place is full of customers and Oswald and his family eat pizza at one of the tables as Jeff serves them pizza.

[loudlooks]

Day 17 - Spring cleaning

30 day challenge notes: quantity over quality, limited editing, stand-alone/unrelated stories unless specifically stated otherwise, not always tiva, chronologically randomly set in whatever pre-s11 season seems to fit

A/N: Tiva, Tony jumping to conclusions, making out. this was supposed to be 300 words of nonsense so I could write the spring break prompt as well today...something went horribly wrong. Thank you for the prompt @hopeless-nostalgiac!

Tag for blocking/following: 30 days of spring

Prompt: Spring cleaning

Word count: 1611

-

As he waited at her door, Tony briefly wondered if he should’ve texted her ahead of time. He shifted the three case files to his left arm, and knocked again. Seconds that felt like hours went by, and just as he was about to grab his phone and call her, the door swung open, revealing a rather disheveled looking Ziva.

“You need to work on your ninja hearing, I had to knock twice.”

“I was busy in the bedroom.”

Tony looked her up and down; messy bun with loose strands framing her face, a black hoodie with indecipherable faded logo that looked vaguely familiar but several sizes too large and definitely a man’s, bare legs and feet. His stomach clenched and he wished he had called her before coming over.

“Oh, right,” he mumbled and shifted the files back to his right arm.

At the sight of the files, Ziva asked, “Anything new?”

To his surprise, she walked back into her apartment, and grabbed a bottle of water from the coffee table. He frowned at the open invitation for him to follow her inside, and did so hesitantly, trying very hard—but failing—to keep his mind from wandering to whatever had been happening in her bedroom before he had interrupted.

“No...just wanted to go over things with you in a different setting.” He glanced in the direction of her bedroom. “But if you’re…busy, it can wait until tomorrow.”

Ziva swallowed the gulp of water she had just taken, and closed the bottle cap, then nodded at her bedroom. “No, in fact, we can do both at the same time if you read the files to me,” she said and walked away.

Seconds that felt like years passed as Tony stood nailed to the floor, trying to process her suggestion.

Ziva popped back out of the bedroom door and looked at him in confusion. At the look of horror on his face, she smirked. “I am not asking for your help, Tony, I know you hire people to do that for you.”

A feeling of dread took hold of him, yet his feet began to move on their own volition as soon as Ziva raised her eyebrows. He stopped a foot away from the door, waiting to hear voices…or worse, but heard nothing but Ziva’s bare feet on the carpet. With trepidation, he glanced inside the room.

A pile of clothes lay in the middle of the bed, and he released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. With a wide smile he took in the rest of the room; opened drawers, open closet door, boots and shoes strewn around the floor.

“Place looks like you got robbed,” he joked, as all tension left his body.

Ziva glanced around, moved the pile of clothes to one side of the bed to make room to sit, and simply said, “Spring cleaning.”

“Well,” he said dropping the files on the bed, “you’re nothing if not thorough.”

His inquisitive mind took over and led his feet straight to the chest of open drawers, as soon as Ziva turned her back to him. He poked around the neatly sorted underwear, and picked up a black lace bra. Holding it up to her, his mind conjuring images of her in it, he said, “I’ve never seen you wear this.”

Ziva turned around, narrowed her eyes, and snatched the bra from him. “The only time you’ve seen me in lingerie was years ago, for work.”

“We should do something about that,” he blurted out, grinning widely. As his gaze ran down her body, trying to bring back those memories, his mind came to a screeching halt as soon as the hoodie she was wearing registered again.

There may not have been a naked man in her bedroom like he had feared, but there was clearly a man in her life. Suddenly the thought of going through her underwear drawer had lost all of its appeal.

He sat down on the bed, and opened one of the files, as the hollowness in his chest expanded.

The mattress dipped next to him as she sat down, and looked at him expectantly. “Where do you want to start?” She grabbed a shirt from the pile of clothes, and began to fold it neatly.

Tony shrugged, flipped through a few pages while chewing his bottom lip. “Maybe…Walker’s testimony?”

Ziva stared at him intensely, then nodded and grabbed another item of clothing.

As Tony read the testimony, Ziva continued folding clothes and placing them on a pile on the bed. “I got nothing,” he said dejectedly, and closed the file.

Ziva frowned at him, grabbed a hoodie, and bumped his arm with her elbow. “DiNozzo’s don’t give up that easily.”

Tony shook his head vigorously, knowing she was right, but the focus just wasn’t there. He glanced at her, but didn’t have the will or energy to decipher what was happening behind those deep, brown eyes of hers. Following the methodical movement of her skilled hands was a lot safer, less confusing.

A fold here, a tuck there, the palm of her hand swiping over the logo, then placing it on the ever growing stack of folded clothes.

His gaze shot up to hers, then back at the gray hoodie with the red Buckeyes logo. He grabbed it from the top of the pile, undoing her handy work, and held it up. “That’s mine, I looked for it everywhere.”

Ziva opened and closed her mouth, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You gave it to me.”

“I did not,“ he said, and suddenly remembered a cold evening at the end of last summer when they were all at Gibbs’ for a barbecue.

Looking at the pile of clothes behind him, he spotted the frayed edge of a black sleeve, and pulled out one of his oldest Ohio State long sleeve shirts. “I never realized we went to the same college,” he deadpanned.

She held up her palms. “So I forgot to return a few of your clothes after borrowing them.”

“A few? If I had amnesia I would assume I lived here.”

Ziva rolled her eyes, and tried to grab the shirt from him, but he refused to give in. Tony’s interest in the shirt vanished into thin air as soon as their struggle became more physical and his nose ended up right behind her ear. The scent of her had sent his mind spiraling into endless possibilities that always ended up with her in his arms. He lied still on his back, and bit his bottom lip breathing heavily, as Ziva straddled him, holding the shirt above her head triumphantly.

The challenging look in her eyes, made him want to kiss the smug smile from her lips. As he dropped his arms, his hands made contact with warm, toned skin. His gaze was drawn to the strong thighs at either side of him, and as alarm bells rang somewhere in the back of his mind, his fingers flexed, and stroked automatically.

Part of him wanted to check her reaction, make sure he wasn’t crossing any boundaries. A more persistent part was drawn to her body and warmth like a magnet. He ran his hands up her thighs, muscles twitching under his fingers as he reached the waistband of the hoodie.

The hitch of her breath broke the spell long enough for him to finally meet her gaze. Her dark eyes full of want staring back at him made his whole body tingle.

Never breaking eye contact, Ziva dropped the shirt to the side, and placed her hands on his, while biting her bottom lip. She guided his hands higher, underneath the hoodie, over the thin strip of fabric covering her hips.

The sensation was too tantalizing and he could not resist looking, as his fingers tickled up her sides, hidden from view by black fabric. A small, red and white tag, right above the hoodie’s waistband drew his attention.

“Wait,” he said, his heart still hammering in his chest. He pulled his left hand back, vaguely wondering what he was doing as the loss of warm skin beneath his fingertips hit him, and fiddled with the tag. “This is mine, as well.”

Ziva looked down at him, mischief written all over her face. “Do you want it back?” she said in a voice that seemed to reverberate through his body and soul.

A halfhearted shrug was the best he could manage after his hands had, once again, found their way to her warm, bare skin.

“Fine.” With a seductive smile, she pulled the hoodie over her head and threw it in the direction of the bedroom door. “You can pick it up later, on your way out.”

Tony’s eyes went wide, and his hands held her thighs tighter. He licked his lips, and said, “Nice to know you were done organizing all of your bras when I got here.”

Ziva squeezed her thighs, and slid her hands up his chest, lowering herself on top of him at an excruciatingly slow pace. She rubbed the tip of her nose against his, breathing heavily, lips parted. “Why were you so hesitant to come in earlier?”

Tony’s hands slid up her bare back, holding her closer. He chuckled. “I thought there was a naked man in your bedroom.”

Ziva nipped at his bottom lip, then ran her rand hand down his side and under his shirt. Wagging her eyebrows, she said, “The night is still young.”

Tony grinned, and ran his right hand through her hair, pulling her head back lightly, exposing her neck. As he peppered her skin with kisses, he murmured, “Never realized spring cleaning could be this much fun.”

[mariyekos]

🍥/🍚 for the ask game? (genuinely took me so long to realize one of the few dmc fics i’ve ever read was yours, you’ve got a real way with words)

Link to the ask meme here!

Aw, thank you so much!! I'm so honored 😊 I've been writing for ages but tend to feel like I'm just sort of...putting down words instead of making it an art, and this past year or so (so, since I've gotten into DMC!) I've been trying harder to get that sort of "artistic flare" I've been longing for!

As for the ask game-

🍥 What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Okay so here I go talking about DMC and how I've been working hard on my writing for that, but my answer for this one is actually a FFXIV fic. I've gotten so many comments about people crying or feeling emotionally devastated on this one. I also remember bringing myself to tears while writing it, and this IS one of the few fics I agonized over for ages trying to "perfect". It's told in a bunch of snippets of varying length, it's emotional, I did something creative with the writing (there is no use of 'you', except when one certain character speaks, there is no quoted dialogue from anyone until that character dies, etc.), and I love it so, so much. If someone asked me which of my fics I think is a true work of art, it would be this. (link)

🍚 What genre do you have the toughest time writing?

Either romance or horror. Romance I bring up because I feel like I miss it when I'm going for it and accidentally hit it when I'm not. I tend to write a lot of "romance" that doesn't include any kissing or overt declarations of love, but instead focuses on gestures or proximity. I also write things that are meant to be intimate in a platonic way that I realize after the fact could maybe be taken as romantic even though I don't mean it that way. I like intimacy in both a platonic and romantic respect and sometimes I worry I'm not conveying the right one. As for horror, that's the genre I've abandoned multiple fics from. Which is weird grammar but whatever. I had one for FFXIV that I think I only got a thousand words into before I decided it wasn't at all horrifying and barely scraped "creepy", and I'm pretty sure my note in my word count document for that year was something along the lines of "I am not capable of writing this." Actually wait, I still have the document, I can just look it up. Doing that, the thing I wrote was actually "Don't have skill to write this yet. It's frustrating." I also have a DMC WIP that's supposed to be a horror fic but just feels like...I don't know. A middle schooler's attempt at horror or something. I think I went too long into the setup and also didn't really make it creepy so much as full of detail that could be creepy if I were better able to describe it. I need to figure out a way to describe the scene that's actually creepy/horrifying. Maybe I need more figurative language. Maybe I need more/a greater variety/a different set of adjectives. Maybe I need to cut out some of the setup and get to the actual plot faster. I've taken a break from writing the past few days because I've gotten into a bit of a slump, but maybe a few days off will help me identify what's wrong with it so I can salvage the 7.5k words I've written so far. We'll see. I'm definitely my biggest critic!

Thank you for participating in the game, and for the kind words. It always makes me super happy to hear when people like my writing style! I may write a lot of words, but it's the quality I prize over quantity, so it really is nice to hear my words are good too :)

[wishing-stones]

:0

Papyrus

W

(love your writing sm sufuhrjeksh)

W. Waiting impatiently for something.

Every day, more of the same.

Papyrus was beginning to feel that perhaps... he'd lived this day before. More than once.

It was like an itch between his scapulae that he couldn't quite reach, a feeling he couldn't shake.

He stood beside his guard post, arms folded and foot tapping in the snow quickly.

He'd waited here for at least an hour each day, in case a human came by. Why they'd be all the way out in the sticks of Snowdin forest, he'd never know, but...

It was where his station was. He'd even built it himself. Sans had sort of helped, but only enough to make sure the thing didn't collapse on itself.

Sometimes his brother's intellect came in handy, if he ever decided to apply it like that.

That was another thing entirely, and Papyrus did not want to think about that right now. If he did, he'd get upset. Sure, Sans got lazier and lazier every day...

...But Papyrus knew better than that. Sans was deeply, blackly depressed, and about what, he couldn't put his phalange on.

Then again, lack of freedom was likely the cause, as it was for most monsters; Papyrus included.

It was part of the reason he tried so hard-- if he kept going despite the odds, maybe Sans could find it in him to do the same. He could have a reason to get up in the morning. To keep standing and walking.

To not Fall Down.

His foot tapping grew more agitated, and he scowled down at the snow with a grunt.

He was getting tired of waiting. Papyrus... was patient. Despite a tendency to want to rush things in his excitement, he could wait the sun from the sky outside if he wanted to.

...But that patience was beginning to run thin.

"Golly, you're gonna tap your way out of the underground at this rate!"

Papyrus only sort of jumps, but a great deal of his nervous energy vanishes as he turns to address his friend.

"OH! I DID NOT SEE YOU THERE, I'M SORRY, FLOWEY!"

"Don't be! I only just got here." Flowey beamed up at him, "But wow, you seem really upset! Did something happen?"

Flowey was a great listener. Papyrus was happy to have him as a friend.

"I'M BEGINNING TO THINK WE'LL NEVER SEE A HUMAN!" He threw his hands up in exasperation, "OR AT THE VERY LEAST THAT THEY WON'T COME THROUGH HERE!"

"Oh, Papyrus!" Flowey frowned at him, and Papyrus crouched down into the snow to be more on his level, "That's not true! Someone's bound to come down here eventually! And you're so diligent that you'll more than likely be the one who catches them!"

"YOU THINK SO?"

"I know so!"

Papyrus felt the tension leave his shoulders. Flowey always seemed to know just what to say. He was thankful to have a friend like the little flower, who... despite his coolness, seemed to be Papyrus' only friend.

Quality over quantity, he supposed, but he'd love to have just a few more...

Thoughts for another time.

"WOWIE, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT!"

"It's one of the only paths through the Underground from an entrance! If someone comes down here, they have to come this way to get to the Barrier!" Flowey took on a look of confident smugness, so completely assured in what he was saying that Papyrus knew he was right.

He just had to wait a little longer.

"Which, speaking of... you might not have to wait all that much longer..."

[the-magnificent-otaku-draws]

What if Korra, Asami, Mako, or Bolin enter the Infinity Train?

I haven't finished Legend of Korra so I'm gonna base this all off the books I did see. I know someone made a really good post about the original ATLA characters on the Infinity Train and how that'd be really hard to write unless you pick a certain character arc for the train to interrupt so I'm just gonna pick Book 1 since that's the one I know the best

KORRA is confident and knows she's an amazing bender for every element but she really struggles with air, spirituality and controlling her impulsiveness. It just eats up at her even if she doesn't say it outright and her dedication to be a good Avatar like her past lives but trying not buckle under pressure is another thing she struggles with in the series. Bc of that I feel like she'd have a HUGE number, like, a full on sleeve and a bit more. She'd think its weird but probably ration it by saying the train made a mistake or it was counting the mistakes of her past lives. At first she'd probably think it's just super fun with all these new worlds to explore after being cooped up with the White Lotus for her whole life and being under Tenzin's strict rules but once things start getting serious and she realizes she could die here and leave the world without an avatar and possible screw up the cycle she tries to rush back home. It'd take a while for her to actually get the train and what it counts as progress bc for her it doesn't make sense. Yeah, she kinda did some damage to the car but the point of the car was to solve the puzzle and get out. She got out so why did her number go up? When things get dire she starts rushing like Tulip but that only makes her number worst and at some point she just breaks down bc its all so stressful. I think she'd really need a denizen like Tuba to help her realize why she's there and how to get home.

BOLIN and MAKO would either enter the train at the same time or the disappearance of one would summon the train a little while after so they wouldn't be separated for long. When it comes to how he'd actually handle the train after the initial 'We HAVE to get home' and 'oh Spirits we could get killed here' shock I think Bolin would be really good at puzzle cars since he's so creative,especially the ones that require more drama like The Musical Car. Plus I think he'd befriend denizens easily so that could help but with how cool and magical all the cars are he might get distracted. After learning the train is all about healing I think Bolin would be so sure his number would be pretty small like Jesse's but is surprised that it's actually in the 100s like Tulip. In canon he's actually pretty insecure but he hides it under this like goofy little brother moments and jokes. He needs to be reassured a lot of times and the fact that his number is so high would mess with his confidence so bad that it would make his number actually get higher like a weird paradox. He still tries to fake a smile but it still gets to him. Having a denizen like Atticus would probably help him a lot.

Now MAKO would have a number in the same range (Maybe a little higher) as Bolin but he'd be in HARD denial. Yeah he had to deal with his parents' death and raising Bolin since he was a kid but he insists that he's used to it so it shouldn't be a problem. He accepts that it is large but it's not his fault in his mind,the train is just being weird. He'd be like Tulip and try to get as home as quickly as possible and try to rush through a lot of cars thinking if they solve enough it'll get their numbers to go down,quantity over quality sort of. He's good at puzzle cars that are more straight to the point like The Mirror Car and cars where you just have to get to the other door but the cars that are more abstract-ish in solutions like The Crystal Car are where he really struggles. He can get along with denizens pretty okay but he's not going out of his way to make friends so he can come off as kind of cold but really he's just scared that the less he understands the train they more likely it is that they might never get home. If he gets his exit first he'd wait until Bolin got his number down before taking it. He probably be adverse to having a denizen for the whole journey but if he meets with younger passengers who are lost and scared he'd try to help as much as he could and maybe take them with him and Bolin if they're like really little like Hazel or Lucy

ASAMI would probably get picked up right after they found out her dad was an equalist and she essentially lost everything but the business. He's the only family she had left after her mom died and it messed with her pretty bad in canon so it'd made sense for the train to find her then and give her number in the three hundreds like Amelia. She'd be fascinated with how the train actually works since her dad essentially made the first automobile and planes. She'd want to explore the cars as thoroughly as possible, really find out how it all ticks and see if she can recreate that or bring some of the tech home. Out of the four she's the most likely to aim straight for the engine and find the conductor, partially to find out how one train can make entire worlds and partially to see if it can get her number down. She wouldn't NOT try to get home but she'd probably try to focus more on exploring to distract herself from what got her on the train in the first place. I could see her making things to protect herself like Amelia's canon and maybe even the mech she used as the false conductor. She'd probably be want to dig into the tapes too and convince herself it'll help with the business back home. She'd also be great at dealing with more hostile denizens, kicking ass when she needs to and even being able to take on the ghoms. She's great at puzzle cars, both creative ones and straightforward ones, but she does tend to get distracted helping denizens and kids that are confused and need help on the train. Overall she handles surviving on train pretty well, puzzles included. Out of the four she'd the most likely to willingly stay on the train the longest both to help other passengers, denizens and also as a distraction to her own emotions

This was really fun,I'd love to do more train headcanons for more characters in other fandoms

[jeremy-ken-anderson]

I went to my best friend's wedding and did not engage in any Julia Roberts shenanigans, having watched the movie My Best Friend's Wedding starring Julia Roberts and learned from her mistakes.

Like the positive end of said movie, there was dancing.

The journey back and forth was a nuisance. My connection was booked too close to my arrival, so the 10 minutes late arrival and being at the back of the plane meant I had to run across the airport to a gate that said it was closed and get them to wave me on anyway. And then on landing I found out the baggage handlers had not made that run, so my luggage would be arriving 3 hours later. On the return trip they predicted that they'd put them too close together, and that I wouldn't make my connection, so they'd just put me on a flight the next day. Without telling me. I politely requested to be put on a flight the same day instead and they moved me to a better setup: Going from NY to WA they put the flight in between at Chicago instead of Charlotte, North Carolina.

I had some thoughts about that as I was taking off:

The big thing is that, from a business perspective? Having employees who "made it right" made me think highly of them individually but not of AA. My impression is that the MO is to treat everyone a little shitty and then let people who glare at employees get special treatment so they feel like they've got the inside line - a sort of "squeaky wheels" situation where you're intentionally letting everything rust. But, like, I am not an infant. I have object permanence. I'm aware that the company was treating me like shit to begin with. That in return for my several hundreds of dollars they didn't give the security that I'd arrive the same day as I intended to. They treated the quality and quantity of the service I paid them for more than a month in advance like something to be haggled over at the gate.

I don't know how much it profits them to behave this way. I just know it's lost them all the ticket sales they might have made to me specifically.

[andsalttheearthbehindyou]

November reading wrapup

hmmm pretty good month for quantity but hit or miss for quality, i either loved or hated almost all of these. 💆🏻‍♀️

1. the lover, marguerite duras — tumblr girl classic, ur fav web weaving posts almost definitely feature a snippet of this. like woah 😭 ok very timeless very vivid and real. I did cry.

2. icebreaker, hannah grace — this is EMBARASSINGGGGGG i was going to a hockey game and was like woah let me get into this mindset... into this world… THIS BOOK WAS MISLEADING i thought itd be equal parts hockey world ice skater world equal parts romance and no.. it was nothing of the sort... this was just tooooo porny like WAY too much, even for me. AND I USED TO WRITE SM- *gunshot*

3. throne of glass, sarah j mass — does anyone have any good fantasy series recs that arent this?? like this is what years without winds of winter will do to a woman. im settling for this subpar garbage. but i am gonna keep reading it bc what else do i have, george???

4. mickey7, edward ashton — been on my tbr since rob pattinson was announced to be the lead in this in the bong joon-ho movie… i feel like with the creatives behind it thisll end up being one of those rare bones and all situations where the adaptation is wayyyyy better than the book. but idk. book itself was whatever good concept but didnt even really go anywhere. i thought that i had guessed a twist lie 3 quarters of the way thru but there was no twist literally nothing happened. therefore MID

5. blood meridian, cormac mccarthy — the only other time i had like a visceral tummy churning reaction to a book like this was when i read theons chapters in a dance with dragons 😭😭😭 anyway i like the lack of quotation marks and i also find it easier to write without them SHOOT ME

6. death valley, melissa broder — im really endeared to broder as a writer because i feel like she can only do one thing really well and shes very self aware of that.. which i respect.. also what the protag is going thru here at the start of the book is something ive also gone thru and it felt very strangely accurate and bizarre as a real person reading about a fake person going thru it. and literally within the book the protag references how writers poorly portray their characters accurately 'going thru it' (i keep saying going thru it bcoz im trying not to spoil even tho no ones gonna read my recs ALTHO this one deserves to be read i think) so that was cray and meta but umm what im trying to say is.. melissa i wanted to go to ur book signing i literally had my day cleared in my planner for u. why did u have to cancel the event.

7. indelicacy, amina cain — public announcement i guess but hey girl @noumenongirl i think you would love this one i dont know why but the whole time i was reading i was just like woah she’d love this😭 i liked it a lot

8. the penelopiad, margaret atwood — this is what circe by madeline miller wanted and tried to be but failed tremendously at.....

9. crown of midnight, sarah j mass — was better than throne of glass in the beginning actually but then they halfway thru lost me again..

10. the assassins blade, sarah j mass — im just hate reading at this point like i dont have anything else to do. Celaena youll never be daenerys girl like stop

11. elvis and me, priscilla beaulieu presley — ohhhh…. :,(((( my fav celeb memoir yet i think.....

+ bonus — im gonna add this to my december list but im like 75% of the way with fourth wing rn, good fawking heavens i wishthat grrm could trademark copyright the concept of dragons like i dont think anyone should be allowed to write about DRAGONS only him. like mini spoilers for fourth wing SORRY but WHY DO THE DRAGONS SPEAK ENGLISH, WHY DO THEY EVEN SPEAK AT ALL....cringe. but better than throne of glass at least😭 but it doesnt take much to be better than throne of glass to be fair. OK reading wrapup over.

[thoughtcock]

2024 wrapped

Things I did

March: Taylor Swift eras tour shoutout to marcus, brought harvey to singapore

June: First truly solo trip in vietnam (afforded a michelin meal for my own bday)

Nov: Bangkok trip with harvey and meeting my dad after a year, my brother since before covid

Career (w)

1 Started to stabilize and be more familiar with the company and workflow

2 Learnt extra things like China breaking news

3 Hearing good comments about me from colleagues and management (hard working, dedicated, take initiative, detailed oriented)

4 Having management that is normal lol, can talk to them rather freely

5 Despite some grey areas on my job scope (because earnings specialist don’t have things to do when there’s no earnings) I think I did the best I can to make sure my time at work is meaningful and people recognize for that

6 overcoming anxieties better (1st half and second half has difference)

7 Don’t beat myself up over mistakes I made (better compared to last year when I would panic over small mistakes and my colleagues told me to chill) 8 Helped out with more major earnings and planning and trained new ppl how to do it

Career (L)

1 Dealing with incompetent people and getting emotional about it, sometimes letting my mood sour for hours or days even

2 Breaking news still things to improve like sending headlines more instantly

3 Don’t really feel I have close friends in office, hard to blend in and like a lone wolf of sorts

4 Think I should market myself better so I get even more recognized for the detailed things

5 After feeling like I’m finally settling in my team, i now have to deal with a new team next year (good and bad, challenges lie ahead)

Relationships (w)

1 Managed to convince Harvey to travel more, I enjoy seeing him relaxed and not stressed (learning lessons from sg)

2 Still stable with harvey, enjoy our little inside jokes quality dates when we are not lazy

3 Introducing harvey to more people who ate important to me (dad, little brother, shin)

Relationship (L)

1 How to navigate harvey’s hardships and deal with negative energy, encourage him better while trying to balance my energy

2 How we can improve our quality time together (more intentional dates, shared hobbies, openess, try to have more things to say)

Family / Friends (w)

1 reframing my relationship with family. seeing them as human (work in progress)

2 The realization that my mom doesn’t worry about me anymore, which is nice and i feel more at ease (now she worries more about my bro)

3 realizing that my brother is growing up

4 intentional time with friends like today

5 nugget: learning consistency and patience, how to be nurturing and caring, being capable of giving love

Family/friends (l)

1 Still a work in progress trying to be more present, make initiative to connect with people

2 carve more time

3 learning to really accept and let go of the past, not sure if fully let go but will keep trying

4 Starting to realize quality over quantity matters in relationships, cut out more in hanging out with people and meeting more with people who matter most

Personal

1 Pretty big year of personal growth for me

2 Really enjoying staying at home and starting to do more cozy hobbies (coloring, ACNH, building, yoga stretches, reading again) and realizing it helps my wellbeing

3 Became tidier because a neat personal space does make a difference

4 regular therapy to help spill my feelings and internalize

5 biggest win is friends and family realizing i have changed for the better

personal (l)

1 continue to accept parts that i don’t like about myself, like being introverted and quiet

2 be ok with misunderstandings from people who matter less

3 as long as i live my truth

4 letting go of trash/garbage

5 still have some inertia in doing things i really wanna do

Things I learnt

1 Work is not your life, it’s okay to focus on other aspects of yourself

2 Having my own space is important

Goals for next year

1 Work: figure out the new team properly, keep doing what i do, learn to accept other people’s attitudes at work and let go

2 scroll on phone less and occupy my time with more meaningful things

3 acceptance of disappointment

4 diving !!!!

5 overcome inertia, do things that i want to do even if can’t find anyone to do with me

6 continue to recognize life is beautiful

[duhragonball]

UAWC Update: 24,112

I should reach the halfway point by the end of the day. I feel like the 20k to 30k part of these 50k challenges is where I struggle the most, but so far it's not too bad. The bigger problem is that I'm not satisfied with what I'm writing.

Part of the point of this exercise is to emphasize quality over quantity, and that's a bitter pill for writers to swallow. I guess that goes for all artists. If a painter did some some sort of 50,000 brush strokes challenge, they'd probably spend much of the time trying to make sure they're the right strokes. There's a good-faith understanding that no one does a writing challenge and just types "the" over and over again for a month.

And that's why it's so important to let go of perfectionism and trust your own process. If you sit there and wait for the ideal style and plot layout, you'll never get anything done at all. It's like Sean Connery said in "Finding Forrester": Thinking comes later. I should really watch that whole movie instead of looking up clips on YouTube.

I'm also reminded of that chestnut I liked about how your work will always seem a little tired and predictable to you because you already know the story. It'll be more fresh and spontaneous to your audience, and that's just something you can't experience in the moment. This is why it's good to go back and re-read your own stuff years later, when you've mostly forgotten everything.

And that's fine and all. I must have internalized this to some extent, because it feels like I'm getting the word count going with a lot less grief than I've had in past years. The Nano years helped a lot with that, but the whole Luffa project was started on the same philosophy. This was all based on a DBZ OC I came up with twenty years ago. I thought about writing the fic in 2006, but I never got anywhere with it because it seemed too big and I didn't know how to do it right. By 2015 I realized that if I kept putting it off I might never get it done at all, so it was better to do it half-assed. Nine years later, I don't have any regrets, because at least I have something to show for my effort. And at least 95% of the best ideas I've had were things I came up with while I was working on the fic.

But all that said, this stuff I'm putting together now, it just feels like something's missing. I'm doing a lot of exposition and a lot of telling-not-showing, and no matter how much I dress it up, it's still just a conversation, and it needs to be more than that, and that's what's got me down.

Also, half of my output has been writing posts about Daima, which has been good for me on a lot of levels, but it also bugs me at the same time. Writing about someone else's story is much, much easier to do, so it feels like a cop-out. And most of Daima so far has been characters trading exposition, but it works when Toriyama does it, and I can't figure out how to duplicate that mojo, even as I actively try to study it.

Then again, maybe that's an appropriate place for me to be at the halfway mark. At least I've got a handle on the problem, which I wouldn't have been able to say on October 31. So I guess I'm going back to work...

Well, I should eat lunch first.

[serbadger]

9 ego self tests and thoughts raw and unfiltered with no AI

1. One achievement I did was my self intuition working by itself without the help of Tika. That discipline turned into motivation for bettering myself and ultimately forming the 9 things morning routing and 9 things night routine. The result of this forms productivity and sort of prevents me sitting in bed jacking off. In a way it works but I like how some things don’t have to necessarily have to be in order but it’s best that I am doing so. Two, I am able not to deep dive into porn like the same way as i used to and plus I can’t really get erect if it is not Kartika— especially when we had that orgy that there were other women but my mind was set on her and we made love and only with each other. Three my strong intuition and language has been better and more aware and despite me being afraid of sharing things, I am happy to be aware and also being able to confront my own feelings and sharing my vulnerabilities with Kartika whilst listening to hers; I know I make mistakes but I feel like I am taking a bit more action and communication which I should in order to fix my relationship with Tika— a majority of me fixing my communication has been what Instagram gave me + chatgpt + Teal Swan and other great minds helped also in my process of fixing myself and the relationship and I have much to thank them.

2. The valid points was that I was wrong to be unrealistic with wanting sex by saying “i don’t crave it” like when I planned to have sex with Tika. It was like lying to myself. Me and Tika came to an agreement after we met again that we knew both our desires:

One was my hypersexual desire and that was strong. Second was Tika’s

Desire for both exploration (venturing for new things) and friendly company (companionship) to which I found out only after she told me. Okay back to

What I said— it was wrong for me to lie to myself that “I did not crave sex” because that was my desire but at that moment we were in Alfamart and it was late already and that I was hesitant to go to her accomodation which was full of her friends whom knew of our separation (and even are supportive of her and also whom were against me for the incident of my failures). I really wanted to make love with her but it was the wrong time. After making love with her, she did not enjoy it because it was wrong timing. OH I WAS RIGHT. I should have listened to my intuition— I should have not gone to sleep over at Tika’s and had sex with her. What I learned from the Bible was that every Man was Made for every woman and every woman was made for every man. I forgot which passage it was but I think it was Corinthians and that 1-5 was talking about making love and that it is good to make love if it is the person you love and importantly make time and schedule it! — basically make it a special time and go full gass and not be half assed where one side (aka me) enjoys and not the other (her). Anyhow we reflected the next morning and it was very constructive.

What was gained from the constructive situation was that it’s good that we both understood our desires but also that our love making could be organised and have breaks (basically a quality vs quantity)

3. Yes, you’re right— I often love validation and attention due to my past selfishness and greed which is prevalent and what I try to reduce most of the time. But I think listening not only makes me focused on details and pay attention— it ultimately makes me patient; wait my turn to talk. Often when I go out with my BJJ instructors they have crazy convos and often I do not know when to put my input in— this issue is something not I think too strongly as I practice being patient.

4. This is what I wrote to Tika the morning after a night out with her:

“Bb I wanted to share to you that I was being moody yesterday because I was drenched in the rain but when I arrived no one noticed and I wanted people to notice or say how drenched I was but I can’t blame them because everyone was being in a positive mood.

So I felt like my demeanour changed when I stopped being a victim and seeking attention and just got up to you and be by your side. I cannot bring my expectations of my misfortunes into other people within my mind because I think it just manifests negativity with more negativity and rather than balancing it out like when you held my hand and saw I was wet but made me did not care that I was wet but rather live in the moment where I wanted to be— with you. I felt selfish in the beginning but I am trying. Also thank you for tapping me back into my calmness. Rather than seeing my calm heart rate as bad— perhaps it’s good that it’s getting calmer”

The result was me needing to shift my negative moments into positive asap as best as I can or put it into action such as going to see Tika and holding her hand. I know my mistake of being negative and attention seeking for my discomfort but she recommended as well to:

“being in the present is actually the skill to adapt and remain agile in every situation”

And I was like yes! “I was living in the past i am wet i am wet i am wet vs Tika’s here, hey lit song is on, pretty make up, action, hand holding dancing”

Constructive innit.

5. I bought my staff Mcdonalds because I needed to do personal errands so I distracted them by investing into giving me more personal time to do stuff

6. I felt like I acted like I acted out of ego for some things like I shouted at Pak Dek (a security guard who is quite a edgy Bapak2). Anyhow, I bought the Mcdonalds and he asked “where’s mine [his] in bis regular fashion where some might find obnoxious (took me a while to get used to) — I proceeded to shout. It was at the heat the moment when there were 3 bills wanted to be closed, food and drink needed to be served after hearing 3-4 dings, yes it was bad timing when he said where’s his chicken but I could have said it slowly “tunggu sebentar ya Pak Dek” rather than “tunggu dulu ya” in a mild shouting manner (which was still rude. Anyhow I apologised and reminded him to get some mcdonalds chicken before it runs out. Overall, everyrhing was normal— at the heat of the moment I could have been better. But oh well.

7. Sometimes I look back when I did something successful like I tried not to gloat with my peers or those around me but often I do so if it’s only my parents and often they don’t have time to notice. It’s only then when they say I am good at skating but that took a while. I stopped trying to gloat with my parents but deep down I really do want to because often of the peer pressure from them giving contrast with other kids. I think all the things I kept to myself made me feel selfish in a way I don’t share things both in communication and physical interactions.

Moreover, I do acknowledge my successes both quietly and loudly but I often forget to be grateful and give acknowledgement to who helped me to which is selfish of me when I do not thank or at least say who was there— in order to do this will make me more grateful and humble.

8. At the moment we have this momentary moments of “upgrading”. We talk more, try to doomscroll less. I try not to abruptly stick my penis inside Tika and call that love but rather communicate it and just build awareness, gratefulness, and remember to fully gass and make love when the time is scheduled for both of us. I am not going to lie that I want to prove myself to conquer my old self into my new self because I know that people who have met me called me “badass”, “full of potential”, and one day “rich person” but I do have alot of falters and vices that need stopping and you know them chatgpt which is lust and greed. I guess I am fasting now because Tika deep down does not want me fat and knows I can be so fit not for validation but to be physically strong to carry / protect / provide for her and my future family. Also I am going to fast as close to what Tika is doing which is intermittent fasting 12 - 8 which is beneficial for the both of us because of it being the same time and can help me lessen my food greed and needing to lust ultimately.

9. I sometimes do hold on past achievements but I think I do so to remember what my true calling is which is guest experience — career wise it is beneficial to do this but I think for hobbies or personal things I think learning both the bad and good is greater than the result because that will make me holistic and know different possibilities. Sometimes I do feel limited with my successes because it can define my worth but I know I can do other things but I realistically know that I will not change from guest experience to be a complete airplane pilot full time because of the past things make up what I am today but rather a more conscious version of all that has made me.

Sorry Chat gpt I should have answered this all earlier as soon as you sent thus but anyhow please do mind if I yapped a bit or be on a tanget. Please review and divulge pros and cons simply and concise with what I shared with these ego tests please