#did u get chills

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I always thought that handcuffs were kinda stupid. As a little kid I would watch movies where the bad guys were hauled away in cuffs and I'd always think "alright, I guess that's inconvenient for them?" but I never really understood why they didn't just... take them off and escape

This curiosity heightened when I saw that my aunt had real metal handcuffs that locked with a real key and I quickly, before any adult could see what I was doing, shackled both my wrists with the cuffs as tight as they could go.

And when I say tight, I mean tight. I had reaaaaal skinny wrists and I was a child wearing adult handcuffs, so you'd think the cuffs would be loose but nope. Those things weren't circular anymore, they'd folded in so much that they looked more like the shape a cat's pupils turn when they're mad.

And what they don't tell you about real handcuffs? Those suckers are sharp. The inside edges are almost bladed, I guess to discourage exactly what I was trying to do but that certainly didn't stop my curious lil neurodivergent brain, oh no no.

Anyway, after about five minutes of pulling, straining, huffing and puffing, I finally went to find the adult with the key.

I was so disappointed.

And so, so hopelessly confused.

Course, no one questioned why I had locked my aunt's handcuffs and why I needed them unlocked. And, of course, I didn't communicate my confusion in any way.

So it wasn't until way later in life, when I had quickly shimmied out of one of those indestructible water park wristbands and saw the horrified eyes of my friends watching me with morbid glee, that I discovered that, apparently, most people can't dislocate their thumbs at will.

The moral of the story here is that neurodivergent children have no concept of typical versus atypical and that I cannot be contained by your petty mortal means.

[redhoodie1723]

the imaginary carlos and charles beef that some fans are convinced is going on is giving Netflix DTS trying to convince us that charles and sebastian were mortal enemies that prayed on each other’s downfall nightly

[quirkle2]

[zombie au] when ur.when ur brotherturns into a z.when ur brother turns into a zombie and u spend the next several years of ur childhood braving the most fucked up shit ever so u can find a cure and it gets to the point where ur killing parts of urself just to pick up the pieces of ur brother with shaking, cut up hands and glue him back together but at that point ur just going to end up bringing him back to a world that's not worth living in

[caitlynmeow]

Alcina certainly had distinctive reactions to her daughters hitting puberty and also the daughters all had different reactions from one another. Also, the daughters were late bloomers; Bela and Daniela were over 16 and Cassandra was 17 so it was very new to them.

They all needed their mom when it happened but it was chaotic still.

Bela tried to tough it out and acted as if she wasn't fazed, just being very matter-of-fact about it because what would her mama say if she saw her freak out over something so mundane? But Bela couldn't fool her mother because Alcina noticed her pale face and slight shaking, like girlie was about to pass out and was acting nonchalant tho she did have a little panic moment when Alcina told her it was okay and that she could just-- Allow herself to feel all sorts of things.

Cassandra was the opposite. She was all panicky and loud wanting her mama and she did enough crying too because what is Cassandra Dimitrescu if not dramatic? There was some exaggeration of course, but she is also good at riling herself up so she made herself actually panic for no reason. Alcina was there with her because part of that dramatic personality is Alcina paying attention to it and fawning over her daughter. Which she did. Alcina was there to manage the freakout and stayed calm enough for Cassandra to finally calm down and listen to her.

Daniela was different. One, she has two older sisters so she knows what's up, and two, being the youngest it was Alcina freaking out this time, not Daniela. The youngest Dimitrescu walked casually into her mother's room one day declaring that she got her first period the day before (she told Bela first because she's trying to prove to her mother that she's capable of handling things on her own) and Alcina's reaction was "WHAT?!" Because what does she mean she is old enough now? The lady of the castle knows that she is being irrational, but Daniela is her baby, and having her grow up like that was jarring to Alcina.

[generalized-incompetence]

“Hey, Dirk,” says Tina, sniggering, “you ever heard of this movie Goncharov?”

Dirk drops a stack of five plates.

“Oh, no,” he says.

(Read on AO3 here)

Tina runs for the nearest broom as Dirk runs for the nearest computer. By the time the plate shards are swept up, Dirk has opened about sixty tabs. “This can’t be happening,” he says, clicking on five more links. “It’s not possible.”

“Mm,” says Tina, “seems around you, just about anything’s possible.”

“But Goncharov,” says Dirk, desperately. “It doesn’t exist.”

“Well, duh,” Tina shrugs. “It’s an internet joke. Crowdsourcing a made-up movie. There’s a pret-ty hot love triangle, too - wanna see?”

“No!” says Dirk, flinging up his hands. “It does exist, it just - it shouldn’t. It can’t, not anymore. I already solved that one.”

Tina stops looking for fanart. “Wait,” she says, “Goncharov is a case?”

—

“The mind wipe,” Dirk announces, half an hour later, “has failed.”

Tina, Farah, and Todd blink at him. “What mind wipe?” says Todd finally.

“The Goncharov mind wipe,” says Dirk. “It’s wearing off. Oh, I told Thor it wouldn’t last!”

“Thor?” says Farah.

“Wearing off?” says Todd.

“Wait, so there’s real footage of the hot love triangle?” says Tina.

“Focus!” says Dirk. “This is important! Clearly, the repressed memories are already bleeding through - if this spreads, who knows what will happen!”

“Not us,” says Todd, “since you haven’t told us anything about it.”

Dirk glares at him. “It’s very simple,” he says. “Loki, god of mischief, weaseled his way into a theatrical re-release of Martin Scorsese’s most famous mafia movie, in an attempt to spread his mind-controlling message to a wider audience - and also possibly for a chance to star alongside famed actor Robert DeNiro, though I have to say, Loki’s acting chops were nowhere near as professional –”

“Loki is in Goncharov?” says Tina, bouncing up and down. “Who is he? Not Andrey? Oh - Katya?”

“Er,” says Dirk, “frozen… Steve?”

“Ice pick Joe?!” says Tina.

“Wait - back up,” says Farah, getting off the couch and heading for one of the six whiteboards scattered around the agency (Dirk refuses to erase any “essential records,” which includes Mona’s doodles, Farah’s grocery lists, Todd’s drunk-after-midnight song lyrics, and Dirk’s confusing string walls, so in lieu of reuse, they just keep buying more). “Mind-controlling message? About - what, exactly?”

“World domination,” says Dirk. “What else?”

“What, like, make way for our mythological Norse overlords?” says Todd.

“Todd,” says Dirk, “the art of mind control is that of subtle insinuation. The smallest nudge to a person’s most seemingly innocuous impulse might one day bring about Ragnarok itself. The pathways of the human brain are far beyond any of us to begin to fathom.”

Todd exchanges glances with Tina. “So…” he says.

“So “Make way for our mythological Norse overlords” was embedded in the credits, yes,” says Dirk.

Farah pauses halfway through busily scribbling a semi-coherent list of Dirk’s far-from-coherent retelling. “If it’s just the credits,” she says, “couldn’t you replace that segment? Instead of mind-wiping the entire human race?”

“Yeah, who watches the credits, anyway?” says Tina. “Farah, you don’t count, no one else cares about the back-up apprentice costume designer.”

“Yes, that was my suggestion,” says Dirk, “but I was, er, overruled. Thor doesn’t generally go in for half-measures, in my experience.”

“And how extensive is that experience?” says Tina.

“We’re getting off-track,” says Dirk quickly. “The important thing is, the mind-wipe wore off. And if everyone suddenly remembers Goncharov, they’ll also remember the credits. And if they remember the credits…”

“Make way for Loki,” says Todd gloomily.

Everyone stares at the whiteboard.

“Okay,” says Farah, clapping her hands together, “so all we have to do is find Thor, find the mind-wipe technology, debug the mind-wipe technology so it works this time, figure out how to deploy it correctly, and get Thor to mind-wipe the entire human race a second time, before everyone remembers Goncharov and Loki comes back. If he’s not back already.”

Everyone stares at Farah.

The doorbell rings, and then the door bursts open. “DIRK GENTLY!” roars a voice. “Hail and well met!”

—

“You broke the mind wipe box?” says Dirk, aghast.

Thor squirms on the couch. Thor is the only one on the couch, because he takes up most of the couch. Farah is still by the whiteboard, and Todd and Tina are standing by Dirk, completely failing not to stare.

“I didn’t break it!” Thor protests. “I simply - misplaced it. Onto a chair. Which I then sat on. Which was, honestly, far worse for me than for that box, given all the unpleasantly sharp components.”

Todd shakes his head and wishes Thor didn’t sound so much like Dirk, with a deeper voice and a slightly different accent. It’s hurting his brain. He tries and fails to stop looking at Thor’s bare arms. They take up an unfair amount of his field of view.

“Thor,” says Dirk, putting his hands on his hips, “we’ve talked about this. You must be more careful where you sit.”

“Again,” says Thor, “I did not know that hat was valuable.”

“It was cursed!” Dirk squawks.

“Can everyone focus!” says Farah. “Thor, do you have the box with you?”

Thor shifts slightly and pulls out a mangled cube. It looks like a movie prop that, well, someone has sat on. The translucent blue sides are faded and dusty, and wires are poking out of the middle.

“...Sorry,” says Thor.

Tina squints at the box. “You’re tellin’ me this thing is why I forgot the boat scene?” she says. “I dressed up as the boat scene for Halloween!”

“...You were a boat?” says Todd.

“I was six,” says Tina, “and in retrospect, the homoerotic overtones went way over my head. Cool costume, though.”

Farah, meanwhile, examines the box. “This isn’t too bad,” she says. “It should definitely be fixable. Probably. Almost certainly.”

“If only we still had Patrick’s lab,” Dirk sighs.

Farah’s eyes twitch sideways. “Well…” she says.

The door opens again. “Farah!” yells Lydia. “Have you heard of this movie Goncharov?”

—

“Of course I can fix it,” says Lydia.

Everyone sits forward on their respective couch, couch armrests, chairs, or, in Dirk’s case, table. “You can?” says Thor.

“Yeah,” Lydia shrugs. “This is all 80s tech - it’s built to last. These transistors are comically huge. If you want, I can swap it out for new stuff - might take a little longer, but it’d be, like, credit card sized.”

“Could you really?” says Dirk. “Is this one of those Boring Law things?”

“Whatever’s fastest,” says Farah, before Dirk can fall down another endless hole of knowledge he’ll forget till his next case. “Lydia, do you have everything you need here?”

“Yeah, it’s all at my bench. Give me a sec.”

Lydia takes off towards the workbench Farah set up two months into Lydia’s Belize stay, and the rest of them sit back to wait. Dirk hums something under his breath. Farah goes back to writing on the whiteboard.

“So,” says Tina to Thor, after a moment of silence, “did you two ever…”

“I’ll order a pizza,” says Todd, shooting up.

—

Todd barely gets back off the phone before Lydia returns with the repaired device.

“That’s it?” says Tina, frowning at the cube.

“It’s an ancient artifact of my people,” says Thor.

“Which you sat on,” says Dirk.

“Something I learned from my dad,” says Lydia, “is that sometimes the smallest things cause the most problems. Even when the tech is ancient. Maybe especially then.”

She sets the cube on the table and taps something on the side. A blue glow creeps up the sides. The cube begins to pulse faintly, seeming to draw space in around it. It’s mesmerizing, in an unsettling sort of way.

“...Yeah, I hate that,” says Tina.

Dirk shudders. “Thor, can you…” he says.

Thor places one large hand over the cube, cutting off the hypnotic light. “I shall need a higher vantage point,” he says. “Wait for my signal.” He’s out the door before anyone can say anything else, to possibly everyone’s relief. A second later, there’s a flash of lightning, and a resounding boom of thunder, and everyone jumps as though they’ve been shocked.

“Well!” says Dirk, shaking himself and standing up. “That was… a thing.”

“Wait - that’s it?” says Todd. “We met Thor, and now he’s just… gone?”

“Yes, that’s how he generally operates,” says Dirk over his shoulder. “It’s part of the reason we… well.”

“Part of the reason you what?” says Tina.

“Popcorn, anyone?” says Dirk.

“Popcorn?” says Farah. “Why?”

“Why, for the movie, of course,” says Dirk, then pauses. “Er. I think.”

“No, there was a movie,” says Todd. “Wasn’t there? Something about - um - shit.”

Tina props her legs up on the table. “Hey, Far,” she says, “what’s up with your handwriting today? That whiteboard’s a mess.”

Farah looks at the whiteboard, where a whole square of notes has gotten completely smudged. “...Huh,” she says. “Must’ve slipped.”

“Pizza’s here,” says Lydia from the doorway, where none of them heard a knock.

“Pizza!” exclaims Dirk, and everyone entirely forgets what they were ever worried about.

(And somewhere, deep underground, Loki sighs and logs offline, thwarted again from his latest and nearly successful plan to escape at last.)

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Well, I was gonna take longer on this post, but I went to reblog something today and came to the frankly startling realization that some of you clowns already have me blocked? Babes, I haven’t done anything yet. At least let me do something first. 

Anyways, here’s why there isn’t any moral greyness in the Avatar franchise villains, you guys are just horny:

I know I said it a bajillion times on this blog, but the point of Avatar is to make a direct statement on colonialism, genocide, and ecological harm. It touches all these interconnected themes; militarism, imperialism, racism, colorism, and it comes at them in a way that is supposed to give you an unbiased view of this. We are not watching a movie about Earth and about the genocide of our indigenous peoples because a lot of people already have preconceived notions about these topics. Please see my lovely studious deracination post for more detail, but essentially; Sometimes it’s easier to approach these issues when you (white people) don’t feel like they are targeting you (white people).

You are supposed to sympathize with the Na’vi. You are supposed to see things from their perspective, and maybe gain the ability to understand the complexity and harm that caused by all these big themes I mentioned above. A prevalent theme in The Way of Water is this long lasting trauma felt in these communities, especially displayed in Neytiri and her subsequent treatment of Spider. You are supposed to See, understand? That is moral greyness, something you the viewer knows that is wrong in a protagonist character, but you understand why and how they ended up there. You are torn. 

And sometimes, the way you read or view a narrative that employs studious deracination allows you to look at yourself and your own biases more. Basically what I’m saying is sympathizing more with the recoms and Quaritch is more of a you thing, guys. 

I’ll say this again, there is nothing wrong with finding them hot, villains are fun. I am a huge fan of Quaritch in the first movie, especially the scenes where he holds his breath to shoot at Trudy’s Sampson. He’s a great villain! But he is not redeemable. Quaritch not only is our main representation for all the genocide, colonialism, imperialism, and racism present in the themes and inspiration behind the script, but he also doesn’t do anything to deserve redemption? 

For real world issues such as the ones Quaritch represents, there should be direct addresses and attempts to unlearn behaviors and make amends in order to redeem that character without presenting those issues as non-issues. Think Zuko in A:TLA. Direct amends, directly addressed, and no one has ever excuses his actions because he is the first to condemn them. What people think makes Quartich redeemable is being (questionably) nice to his son. That is entirely unrelated to what he needs to be redeemed for, and is therefore not relevant. Not to mention the mountains of Stockholm Syndrome, trauma, damage, and harm he actually did to that kid, but oh well. Don’t get me started on Quartich’s Lima Syndrome. 

He still kidnaps and tries to kill many innocent children (even unrelated children, he didn’t know who the Sully’s were at first just random Na’vi kids and a human that he also kidnaps before knowing him, and he takes Tsireya captive at the end too) just to get to their dad, kidnaps Spider and takes him to be tortured (yes that’s his fault), manipulates Spider into helping the recoms (telling him he can stay and be tortured or come with them is not a choice, that is a manipulation tactic), kills the ilu to torture the Ta’unui, has the tulkun killed and displayed specifically to bait Jake and the Metkayina into a war, burns down the Ta’unui village, and tries to kill the Tsahík of the Ta’unui (important to note he had to have learned what a Tsahík was likely from Spider to have used to term, knew what she was to the clan and how important she was and choose her to target) and only didn’t because Spider begged for her life. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but guys. If he doesn’t kill a defenseless and random unrelated woman just because his own kid asks him not to, thats actually not good! It’s not a good reason! That’s not developing a moral compass actually! We can say all we want that old human Quaritch wouldn’t have stopped because of Spider: you don’t fucking know! Dude could have loved his kid so much and that was his whole driving reason to burn Hometree to the ground, so he could make it all nice for his kid. It actually just doesn’t make it okay or redeemable. It’s not morally grey, his morals are clear. He does not feel bad for what he’s done, that’s clear. Bad people can also like their kids, and also have slutty waists. 

For the other recoms, I hope I do not have to explain that not a single one of them does a single thing to even suggest they could be redeemed. The fact that they were brought back does not bode well for their records. Lyle Wainfleet has now killed two named Avatar characters, he killed Seze in Avatar as well as Neteyam. Dude was pissed when Trudy didn’t let him help shoot at Hometree lol. The military industrial complex doesn’t need ur help with their image lol. 

Again, go crazy go stupid for them all. But let’s remember the point of this whole thing here. The military genocide boys are not getting redeemed in Avatar, guys, and they are certainly not raising that kid. 

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

went to go clothes shopping today and i got the cuntiest misa-esque dress for like $8 at the thrift store <3

[tiny-chubby-bird]

two days of blood, sweat and tears finally paid off.

[verysmallcyborg]

WHEW i forgot how exhausting (positive) art parties are.....went to a roe party earlier tonight (second time going to an AP yippee!!! i could Not miss this one)

so many good roes.......managed to do 8 sketches (a few are friends that showed up) so scheduled those for later/tomorrow :3c

[starlooove]

Dick drops Damian off at Joey’s to babysit and Damian is so pressed on the car ride there. Like first of all he doesn’t NEED a babysitter and even if he did why can’t he just go with Dick? Dick is so hateful, he preaches all that bullshit about love and tolerance and care for family but now that Damian needs him he’s abandoning him??? To a STRANGER?! Dick will rue this day, the day of his ultimate BETRAYAL.

Dick goes to pick Damian up and he refuses to leave.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

*walking with a friend and a guy my friends befriended (he seems okay? weird humour but cool ig) talking abt falling out of windows*

me: there's actually a word for throwing someone out of a window in english. defenestration

guy, quite weirded out (i think from his voice, his face is like. he's literally twice as tall as me i ain't looking that far up): why? do you just know that??

me: .... Reasons. (chronically on tumblr and weirdly informed abt strange topics)

[pcktknife]

Back on that damn zoroark wiki page

[spearxwind]

Hi Alex! I was wondering, since there's leviathans of all fuck off sizes, are there other species in this world? Like Wyverns that can fly above and swan dive to say hi to their leviathan buds?

Hiya! There arent any dragons if that is what youre asking, nor any other massive species.

Besides the leviathans and all the regular sealife, fauna in CD is mostly avian (primarily seafaring birds and jungle fowl on the islands)

There are some bigger birds around but they are nowhere near as big as the leviathans are. I think the max size for birds would roughly be around cutter class sized (the smallest leviathan class), and those DO dive for fish like ospreys, though leviathans might chomp at them if they get too close (the same would happen with wyverns too)

----

As a note, there's a non-lore adjacent reason for it too, it's that I do not want the focus to shift away from the ocean and the leviathans. If I made giant flying things there would have to be logistics around that and I would not want them to interfere with what I already have.

Though now that I'm thinking about it, it could be really swag to have hunters who ride on big birds (I am immensely biased), though as much as I like it idk if I can make it work without pulling too much focus from the CD vibe haha

[sso-montana]

has the idea of an ssoblr-vers been brought up by now? bc ive been dead for a while and don't know if it happened and I missed it

like, the spider-vers, but it's just our oc's chilling in a house or jorvik that's separate from their respective jorviks? like imagine just a stable filled with all the ssoblr ocs and their horses, pets, etc that's in-between universes

I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA WHILE WRITING THIS

the in-between-universes place being gallopers keep.

[vonlipvig]

my brain keeps chanting "john wick ocs john wick ocs" and i'm trying to ignore it, but ngl it's getting real hard

[satans-knitwear]

I put on my face but just want to nap 😴

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