#dilf!erik johnson

[holy-puckslibrary]

— 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐬.

pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x ex-nanny!wife!reader (established); REESE JOHNSON (oc) x ex-nanny!stepmom!reader (platonic / familial)

wc — 4.7k synopsis — family weekend forces reese’s worlds to collide. results are… mixed note — i just really love reese. that's it :) and how dilfy does mr johnson look in that gif good lord

the nanny (series masterlist) | main masterlist

content warnings under the cut.

cw — age gap relationship (erik and the reader, established), vulgar college boys with no respect, busy-bodies who cannot mind their own beeswax, possessive!erik, pregnant!reader (not discussed in detail), sweet bby reese in peril :(

REESE JOHNSON has a problem.

It’s the sort of anxiety-trodden predicament that could’ve been soothed into nothingness had he spoken up sooner. He didn’t because he couldn’t. That was part of the problem. 

And now it’s too late—for solutions or comfort.

The teen, now a second-semester freshman at the University of Denver, had long since adjusted to the heightened scrutiny of his family in the early days of your relationship with his father. Everyone online had to throw in their two cents on the “illicit affair.” Even people who didn’t give a shit about hockey (evidenced by their inability to name a single team) felt they had a right to weasel their way in. While irritating and uncomfortable, the harsh reads didn’t bother him for too long because Reese knew the truth.

He also knew how unnecessarily ruthless people could be when they had a screen to hide behind. The son of a prominent figure in professional sports, Reese knew people stared at him through a very particular lens. It veered toward a rosy sheen every so often, but mostly it was smudged glass. Like a fish tank whose walls were muddy with the greasy impressions spectators left behind. Strangers offering commentary on his father’s life, and by extension his too, was part of the gig.

Frankly, the aftermath wasn’t much different than before. Only the subject matter changed. If it wasn’t thinly veiled insults about Erik’s waning career or his prior inability to keep a girlfriend, it was overly critical evaluations of Reese’s prowess or lack thereof and, unsurprisingly, comparisons between father and son. Without fail, the verbiage and tone implied competition, hinting that their healthy bond was only a bit of showmanship to hide the rocky resentment beneath.

This weekend is different. Sure, his teammates and friends had already gotten ample face-time with both of his parents, as well as his kid sister, but never all at once. Though they all did their best to coordinate, busy schedules rendered a revolving cheering section for Reese Johnson. 

This weekend—family weekend—will change that. By some stroke of luck (or a cruel twist of fate, the jury's still out on that one), everyone would be here… together. And that’s not to say he isn’t grateful for their effort or that he isn’t excited because he is. Reese is thrilled to share this new slice of life with his loved ones. It’s just that…

Reese knows how it looks when they venture out into the world.

Not that his dad is exactly old or even old-looking. In the same way you aren’t questionably young. Still, the age difference is noticeable. Before you were more than a nanny to the Johnsons (if you were ever just a nanny to begin with), it was easier for on-lookers to assess the dynamic, and still, albeit seldomly, they would drum up gossip. Things got remarkably more awkward, though, after his father finally plucked up the courage to propose, and increased tenfold once Erik had a gold band to match. It was as if the wedding ushered in the open season on Johnsons.

More times than he cared to count, Reese found himself cupping Josie’s ears to keep his little sister from hearing jeering crowds calling their dad an old pervert and you a shameless gold-digger. No one’s had to explain what a “sugar daddy” is (or why it's the first thing that auto-populates when you plug ‘Erik Johnson’ into Google), but the burden would’ve fallen on Reese if he hadn’t left her in the car while he ran in to grab a takeout order last summer.

But Erik’s eldest isn’t just worried about his family existing outside the warmth and safety of their insulated bubble. His sleepless nights are filled with fear. Fear of the pain and sadness he’ll undoubtedly feel about it all now that he sees you less as his friend and more as a maternal figure.

Reese’s always been protective; it's led to many a fight with his own father and, sometimes, his own sister. He’s the first to rush to your aid and the strongest force in your defense. The habit, however,  strengthened when his perspective shifted as swiftly as flipping a switch. 

Suddenly, you weren’t just his dad’s girlfriend or the person who made him pancakes in the morning. Or the savior who dropped off his English paper because he was in such a hurry he left it on the printer. You were a confidant, someone he called for when he was in a bad spot or when he wanted to see the latest mind-numbingly bad action flick. When he asked his date to prom, it was you he wanted help from. When Reese was sick, your home remedies worked better than anything store-bought or concocted by his dad. When practice ran over, he could count on you to wait up with his dinner hot and ready, the rest of the house already fast asleep. 

For the first time since he could remember, the Dad-shaped gap wasn’t devastating. It hurt like a bitch, but it was bearable because he had another adult—another parent—he could rely on. In every sense of the word, you were his mom.

And no one wants to hear disgusting lies about their mom.

However, Reese hasn’t called you that yet. At least, not to your face. In passing to his childhood friends or when referring to you with Josie, sure, and once or twice over the phone with Erik, but when he calls for you, he uses your first name like he's still your “nanny-kid.” But it's not for a lack of trying. It’s just that every time he thinks he’s worked up the nerve, the three letters catch in his throat like molasses, and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. 

Moments like those are the rare few he wishes he were Josie instead of himself. His jovial spitfire of a sister never missed a chance. During her lunch block with classmates, on the phone with their extended family, to strangers at Avs games, or on the sidewalk, the moniker slipped off Josie Johnson’s tongue like water down a slide. Their dad liked to poke fun, warning her to be careful so as not to wear it out from overuse.

Maybe it was the sister snuggled in your stomach that tightened his throat. The baby that could and would call you “Mom” with little effort beyond mastering the string of sound. The baby that would grow up not knowing you as anything besides her mother. It was a shade of ownership Reese felt hesitant to touch. No matter how desperately he yearned to.

The closest he’s come is penning in the title beneath your name on the lanyard that’ll hang from your neck for upcoming festivities. It was a small gesture. Still, it felt like too much and not enough all at once.

Reese is caught between wanting to honor the bond and all you’ve done with the accurate label and the fear of explicitly acknowledging it stirs in his chest. At least in this limbo of sorts, as cumbersome as it's become, Reese can have what he’s always wanted and keep you in his life without risking capsizing the boat with an awkward declaration. It’s an uneasy compromise, but it's the devil he knows. At least he knows what and when to feed it.

Reese hates that he’s letting his worries dictate his life. It's just… hard. No one tells kids how to navigate gaining a new parent or any of the baggage that unique situation carries. No one tells kids how to trust the position’s new occupant not to follow in their predecessor’s footsteps. In his heart, Reese knows you won’t run. But knowing that doesn’t shut down the nagging voice in the back of his mind. The one that drones on like a broken record, telling him that the burden of the word, knotted with his expectations, will be his family’s unraveling.

He couldn’t do that to Josie. To his dad. Or to you and the little sister you’re carrying. 

So, he’ll stomach it. For how long, Reese isn’t sure. But, for now, he’ll stand on the outskirts of the minefield, bidding time.

"Johnson! Your whole family's coming, right?" Kody, a junior defenseman from Fort Collins, yanks Reese from his downward spiral.

The last place he wants to be right now is out in the world. The last thing he needs is to cannonball himself back into the fishbowl. Even if the phantom audience never spoke to him, sometimes their heavy attention pushing into his back was enough to send Reese reeling.

But he made a promise to make more of an effort. To be more social, to have more fun—to take life a little less seriously. 

In his mind, if he was at school to learn and play hockey, there was little room to wiggle. Sure, Reese has had his fair share of adolescent recklessness and could lean toward boyish immaturity at times, but at his core, he was a rule-follower. A responsibility fiend with a penchant for playing the white knight. A stickler for structure. When given the choice between a teenage dream and a full-grown reality, the freshman chose the latter nine times out of ten. 

Reese Johnson’s moral compass weighs down his back pocket; he feels most at peace when things fit neatly into their proper boxes. Good and bad, black and white. One or the other, never both.

Stress and anxiety exacerbate his mental rigidity. And he’s been so fucking far from zen lately.

Reese would’ve broken the stupid promise if it’d been made to anyone besides you. So, when a few of the upperclassmen on the team appeared at his dorm with an invitation to get pizza, he begrudgingly accepted.

It isn’t so bad. Far from awful this far. Definitely not the worst way to spend an evening. His teammates were alright enough guys, and their girlfriends weren’t as callous as he’d expected. Reese just found it hard to connect with them, a situation that couldn’t be more different than his previous team experience. 

With his childhood friends, it all clicked. Fell into place without much real effort from any of them. There was an awkward period, but it ended within the first month and, honestly, had more to do with prepubescent cringe than anything.

An entire semester came and went, and Reese still felt like an outsider. When he looked out onto the ice, he saw a sea of strangers. They had different interests, different priorities. Inside jokes he wasn’t in on. Ones he wasn’t sure he wanted to be in on. Even their sense of decorum was foreign. He was well-acquainted with profanity and vulgar jibes, but Reese’s neck still occasionally heats at their… colorful chirps.

But maybe this will be a good step, Reese thinks to himself as he clears the nerves from his throat, making room for an answer to Kody’s question.

“Uh, yeah. My parents and my little sister,” he nods. The blip of quiet that follows coaxes out further details. “They’re going to skip the mixer-campout thing tomorrow night because of the baby, but they’ll be at the student fair and our scrimmage the next day.”

It feels odd to talk about his family. The words, somehow both intensely personal and casual at the same time, taste funny on his tongue. Reese’s stomach clenches, suddenly too aware that he’s never really had to do this before, the small talk. Back home, everyone knows everyone. There’s little to talk about by way of mundane facts because there’s no need; it would be incredibly redundant. His friends from home wouldn’t think to ask if his family was coming, nor would they nudge him to share their schedule. They’d just know.

Reese is aware that this is a silly thing to get worked up over, or even care about at all. He knows it’s part of the process. Part of making new friends is letting them know you. Telling them about yourself and your life, and all the people in your life. Especially the ones you love. Offering up bits of yourself in exchange for bits of them. Still, it's unsettling. Like he’s inviting a group of strangers to pass judgment on his unconventional family. 

No one’s said anything, but Reese already feels defensive. 

And rightly so, he’d soon find.

"That was quick."

Lane, a senior forward from some beach town in California, draws first blood. The quip seems innocuous, but the shit-eating grin undermines any plausible deniability. Even without his smug expression, they probably would’ve understood the implication lurking below the surface anyway. 

It isn’t the isolated comment that burns the tips of Reese’s ears. It’s the fact that he’s never spoken about the circumstances or the timeline of your relationship with his father. Reese hasn’t tried to hide anything, but he certainly hasn’t been forthcoming either. For all they knew, you could’ve been Josie’s biological mother. A long shot, but feasible enough if you didn't know any better. 

But somehow, this kid from out of state knew. Knew that, by “traditional” standards, it was a little soon for his parents to be welcoming a new life.

"Can you blame him? Hot young thing at your beck and call?” Kent, a sophomore from outside of Toronto, cuts in before Reese can. 

The lecherous glint in the winger’s tone makes his skin crawl. He doesn’t need to look up from his half-eaten slice of Hawaiian to know his mouth matches Lane’s.

“Fuck, dude. I would've knocked her up before she dragged me down the aisle. But, I've heard Viagra massacres your swimmers, so maybe that wasn’t in the cards for Ol’ Johnson.”

The group, crowded around a hodgepodge of tables, descends into a fit of snickers and profanity.

Reese contemplates leaving until a manicured hand gently squeezes his arm. Callahan Graham blinks up at him, a sweet smile tight on her rosy mouth. Callahan “Callie” Graham, Lane’s on-again-off-again girlfriend of three years. They’re “off” right now, if he’s remembering correctly. Not that it matters. She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need to. Reese’s chin dips in gratitude.

From across the table, Callie’s roommate, Greer, pipes up over the commotion. “I hope I'm as cute as she is when I'm pregnant."

"Me too," Bree, one of the other girlfriends, sighs dreamily into her Diet Coke. "I couldn't believe how pretty she looked the last time she brought Josie to watch you play, Reese. If I was pregnant and holding down a two-kid fort by all by myself for most of the year, I know I'd look it. But I guess that’s just another perk of true love, isn’t it? Beauty in spite of it all.”

Kent snorts. “True love…right.”

Reese’s molars pinch together. Beneath the table, he picks at his nails. It hurts, but it's the distraction he needs right now.

"It's not like being a trophy wife is a real job anyway, so I'm sure that helps. Just lie back and spread those pretty—"

Reese’s fist finishes Lane’s sentence. As badly as he wants to put it through the douchebag’s face, he (thankfully) had the foresight to direct his anger downward. It was the succinct thwack! of his hand against the table that cut the lewd thought off prematurely. 

Reese is a striking juxtaposition; hardened jaw, sharp eyes, pinched mouth—silent. Only his chest moves. Shallowly, the accent on the exhalations.

For a moment, everything is still. It’s nice. While it lasts.

Kody is the one to crack the ill-fated stalemate. Trepidation peeking through the tiny cracks in his smooth confidence, he approaches like a hunter would an agitated deer, “Loosen up, Reese. We're just having fun. And, if anything, it's a compliment."

Reese openly glares, unconvinced.

Kody persists, deadset on being the one to subdue the beast. “Come on, even you have to admit your dad's locked down a fuckin’ tenner. A real win for Team Geriatric, I’d say. You should be proud of him, kid.”

This isn’t the first time someone’s prodded Reese about your physical appearance. He wasn’t blind. He knew you were attractive, but you’d never entered that part of his brain before. Ever. It's as if his subconscious preemptively locked you away in the same box as his dad and kid sister, or any other family member. But they weren’t asking if he thought you were pretty, not really.

The omnipresent “They” wanted to know if he thought you were attractive the way he thought Pedro Pascal or Olivia Rodrigo was attractive. They wanted to know if he felt the way his dad felt about you. They’re probing for a twisted scandal, a sick taboo love triangle. As if they weren’t already gorging themselves on the age difference or the boss/employee origin story. 

They wanted more. They always wanted more. They wanted to take one of the best parts about Reese’s life and fuck it up.

His teammates are proving themselves no different than the losers populating Twitter.

“She ever read to you a story before bed?” Lane again.

Then Kent, in quick succession. “Tuck you in nice and tight, and come running when you had a nightmare?”

There’s barely enough time between the two to squeeze in a meager answer. Though Reese surmises that’s by design. 

Innuendos are funnier when they have a single target in the audience to fly over. At least, to people with cheap senses of humor. Easy laughs are no accomplishment when they weaponize the feelings of an innocent bystander. Even in his anger, Reese wouldn’t have humored them with a doe-eyed reply of feigned ignorance. It wasn't earned. 

“If I got to spend all of high school being coddled by a rocket, I'd still be milking that shit. Maybe if you had, she would've fucked you instead of your dad."

Reese’s brow shrinks to a contemptuous pinch. It wouldn’t take much for him to be reacquainted with his dinner; it’s already halfway there. 

As he looks over at Kody, he loses what little hope he had that he’d find a place in this friend group. He hasn’t found his people yet, on the team or in general, but Reese is certain they’re not sitting around him tonight.

"How far along's your mom?" Callie seizes the conversation knowingly.

Briefly, her pale eyes slice pointedly in the direction of her… whatever Lane is to her, and then back to Reese, warmth restored.

"Uh, almost seven months? But Josie and I were both late, so Dad thinks we'll have to wait until the end of summer until she's here. Maybe they’ll share a birthday.”

"She?" one of the freshman girls squeals, clutching her companion’s forearm in excitement.

"Yeah," Reese says bashfully, head dipping to conceal the grin tugging the corners of his mouth. The meat of his cheeks ache with joy. “Two sisters."

"I give Johnson Sr. six months before he puts the moves on Nanny 2.0,” Lane’s whisper pierces the lukewarm calm that settled the table at his… Callie’s hand. 

She kicks his shin. Hard.

"You really think the old timer's game is that reliable?" Kent picks up the slack between open-mouth chews.

And Kody is not far behind, “He's decently famous and moderately rich. That was enough the first time, so why wouldn't it work for the second? Or, Junior, maybe this next one can be yours—if you pull your head out of your ass in time, that is."

Reese is done. Has met—no, exceeded his limit. He doesn’t have to sit here and take this. Yeah, it would be better for the locker-room culture if he stuck around, but a boost in morale wasn’t worth the decimation of his pride.

His goodbye is simple but effective. The deafening screeeeech! of his chair sliding back on the linoleum.

The sidewalk is blurry beneath his feet as he trudges back to safety. Whether it's the tears’ fault or how quickly he’s running, Reese can’t be sure. All he knows is that he needs to be as far away from them as possible.

He needs… he needs…

Reese’s fingers tremble defiantly while he fishes for his phone. He continues to fight with them, shoving his key into the door and pushing it open with the other as he scrolls through the call log. He slams the world out and hits the green icon.

“Reese? Are you okay?” your groggy, but no less sweet voice flits through his phone. 

Only two rings. 

Reese’s shoulders melt, comforted by the familiar warmth of what home sounds like. But his mouth remains frozen, stuck. 

You allow a few beats of silence to lapse, giving him ample space to answer if he is able and wants to before speaking again. “Do we need to come up tonight?”

He blinks, attempting to wash away the salty film over his eyes to read the clock above his desk. 1:37 AM, the angry red letters read. 

Guilt seeps into the mix of nasty emotions monopolizing his body. The acidic cocktail begins its ascent of his tender throat.

You shouldn’t be up right now. Not this late, not when his sister’s made you an insomniac for so much of your pregnancy. Not because someone was mean to him.

Reese feels like an asshole. An inconsiderate asshole bothering you with his problems in the middle of the night, knowing you’re already sacrificing your weekend for him.

“Fuck, I’m sorry for waking you and the baby, and probably Dad, too. I—It's nothing, really. It can wait. We can talk about it when it's not, y’know, the middle of the night.”

“Reese, no one sets off the alarm on my Bullshit Radar faster than you do. You wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t urgent. Talk to me, Reeses Pieces. You know I won’t be able to go back to sleep knowing you’re not alright.”

Reeses Pieces. The nickname, said with such casual affection, is like a magic wand.

“Uh— I-I, um… I had a, um, a r-really bad night… and I— and I just really needed to hear y-your voice, Mom.”

It slips out. Slips free. It just… slips into the mix with all the other words like it belongs there, too. And it does. It feels right. Reese feels a twinge of satisfaction. Regardless of the circumstances (and the night he’s had), it happened.

It finally happened.

The floor crumbles a little and gentle flames lick at Reese’s cheeks. His phone feels as though it's floating up and away from his clammy palm. He’s telling his fingers to tighten their grip, to hold on. They hesitate, and when they finally decide to obey, it only makes matters worse. He fumbles, nearly dropping his phone to the floor. The elephant easing down onto his chest is making it hard to focus, to think, to listen. 

“Reese? Did I lose you, bub?”

He blinks himself out of the daze. “Hmm? No, I—I, sorry. I’m here.”

“Oh, Reesey. I was just saying I was glad you called then. I mean, I always love it when you call. Even when it’s to tell me you sent your Airpods through the washing machine. Again.”

Reese barks out a phlegmy laugh.

Note to self: the rice hack only works the first time you let your electronics go for a swim.

Second note to self: this reaction—this non-reaction is better than any teary blubbering or callous rejection. Normalcy doesn’t require a reaction.

“You can always, always call me. Especially when you’re having a rough time. Even when it's the middle of the night. My main priority in life is making sure you’re safe and happy, you and JoJo. And the peanut sitting on my bladder. And the 6’4 blanket-hog snoring like a hacksaw beside me.”

“Maybe we should get Dad a sleep study coupon for his birthday,” Reese teases.

He feels better now. You, and finally being courageous enough to be vulnerable, was the medicine. Reese feels lighter than he has since you dropped him off in September.

You snort. “I’ll gladly pay to see your dad covered in wires. But, as much as I love laughing at his expense when he’s none-the-wiser, that's not why you called. Spill it.”

He does. The spiel tumbles out like an overdue avalanche, and Reese hardly realizes how quickly he’d been talking until he finishes with burning lungs. You listened patiently, letting him get it all out without interruption. You were good about that, knowing when someone needed room to rant more than they needed interjections with guidance or commentary. Reese usually fell in the first category, tonight being no exception.

“…I just don’t get why they found it so funny. Or why they even thought to say it in the first place. It's so...gross.”

He listens to you sigh and knows you’re doing it through your teeth. You’re probably massaging the waves of frustration between your eyebrows, nose scrunched. Josie calls it your ‘Dragon Face’ because of the way frustration contorts your features, but Reese adopted the term into his own lexicon because it almost always appeared when someone threatened the safety of your family. Like him, you’re generous with your protection. Fierce without delay. 

“Because you aren’t them, Reese. You’ve always had a strong sense of right and wrong, respectful and not. And you’re rarely swept up by group-think, if ever. Those things may feel like a curse right now, but I promise they’ll be superpowers one day.”

“I wish I could fast-forward to that day. This sucks,” he groans, tossing himself backward onto his twin bed.

“It does suck. Majorly. Still, even if you had time travel in your vast arsenal of powers, I’d tell you to stay put, Reese. Part of college is learning how to deal with immature people, building up a tolerance for their bullshit as you grow stronger and more confident in yourself.”

“But I’m not strong. I ran away crying like a little baby,” Reese croaks into his pillow. A warm saltiness tickles his eyelashes.

“You removed yourself from a bad situation, and you let yourself feel your feelings in the present tense. Those are both huge wins in my book,” you counter.

Your voice is louder now, stronger. Like coaxing Reese—coaxing your son out of a pit of self-pity breathed all the energy you lacked for the better part of a year back into you. The subtle shift whittles away some of his earlier guilt.

“It takes guts to do that, Reese. Most people spend years trying to learn what you did instinctively. Some people never learn to do it at all. And don’t tell anyone, but I’d put money on Kody, Lane, and Kent being some people.”

Reese snorts. “I know you’re right, but I think what’s actually bugging me is that you guys’ll be subjected to that shit this weekend. It’s one thing for them to say it to me, but it’s another to say it to you or in front of JoJo. I hate that people care so much about us and our business that they can’t keep their mouths shut. If you don’t feel comfortable coming now, I would totally understand. Fuck, if I were you, I’d never visit again. Maybe I could come home this weekend instead?”

“Reese, as sweet as that is, the only thing that’ll stop me from coming this weekend is early labor, not chauvinist pigs.”

“You shouldn’t even have to hear it, though. And besides, won’t smiting college kids stress the baby out?” Reese asks, worry tearing through his voice despite the lighter tone.

“Do you honestly think your dad will let them get more than a couple words out?” you ask through an airy chuckle.

For the second time tonight, someone else speaks before Reese can.

Erik’s voice is muffled and gravelly, but the protective bite—the very same one that took hold of Reese at dinner and you just moments ago—is loud, “They’ll keep their mouths shut if they want to keep whatever teeth they have left.”

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[leafsbabe]

Which sluts give off the DILF-iest vibes? Like, they'd take care of you, pay for everything, make sure you're happy, etc.

okay this is dads and daddies, fathers and men i'd like to make fathers

Erik Johnson

Sidney Crosby

Marc-André Fleury

Gabriel Landeskog

John Tavares

Matt Martin

bonus milf:

Claude Giroux

[rosesvioletshardy]

IM CRYING

[ilyasorokinn]

Erik Johnson as a dad 😍 like my god, the contrast between goofy, fun, dumb dad and super sweet, soft, protective dad 😍 I love it!!

SIT ON THE BENCH

“LIFE WITH THE JOHNSONS” SERIES MASTERLIST

tw: mentions of pregnancy, children

before you even had your kids, it was like you were raising a kid (in a funny way). erik was like an overgrown child. he never backed down on a dare, he always mixed different liquids together at a gala and would drink it, would always ask you to help him with his hair, and wanted you to lay out his outfits.

when you were pregnant, you were nervous. you were nervous that he would still be the overgrown child, but all your worry quickly flew out the window the moment he held zach.

he was the best father.

ivy and lila were sitting on the bench, feet swinging back and forth as they waited for them to get tied, "are you ready to skate?" you asked.

"yeah!" lila cheered but ivy seemed a bit more apprehensive.

you tied lila's skates while one of the other girls tied ivy's. you held both their hands as you walked them over to the ice. ivy held onto your leg.

"do you want to skate?" lila asked her younger sister.

ivy shook her head, gripping your leg a little tighter, "are you sure? i'll be with you the entire time?" she gripped your leg tighter, which you took as a no.

luckily andre skated over and distracted lila and skated away with her, "didn't you want to skate last night?" you bent down in front of her.

"scary, mommy." she threw her arms around your neck and hugged you tight.

"all right, we'll go sit on the bench." you carried her over to the bench and saw watched everyone else skate around the rink.

"what're you doing over here, bug?" erik skated over.

"scary, daddy." she repeated the same words she said to you.

"what's scary? falling? i fall all the time, you know that. you laugh at me." ivy laughed because it was true. whenever erik fell down on the ice, all three johnson children laughed.

"see? you're laughing at me right now." he pointed out in an overexaggerated voice made solely to make ivy laugh, "here, we'll make a deal. you skate around the rink once with me and mommy, and if you don't like it, we'll stop and get you some fruit snacks."

she looked back at you and you gave her an encouraging smile, "okay." she nodded, hopping off your lap and waddling like a penguin over to the entrance.

he helped her over the step and slipped his hands under her armpits, making sure she wouldn't slip. she whined as she slipped, "i got you, you're okay." he reassured, holding her tight. you skated beside them.

you went around the rink once, and when you got back to the entrance of the rink, ivy looked up at you, "so? what do you think, buggy?" erik asked.

"fun." she giggled.

"you had fun?" erik asked. she nodded her head.

"come on, let's go around again. by the end of today, you'll be skating laps around mommy." he joked, kissing her head and skating slowly with her.

taylor's dilf day!

[huggybug]

50 for Nathan MacKinnon? Happy dilf day!

happy dilf day!

50. “Why did you teach them that?”

Nate was a good dad. Sure, he wasn’t around all the time and it definitely wasn’t easy but he tried his hardest to make sure he was there for your daughter. His constant facetime calls on the road were a highlight of Scarlett’s day and you knew Nate loved it just as much. However, despite his commitment to her during the season, nothing compared to when he was home.

Nate loved taking your toddler to the park or out on little excursions and he was always making sure you were getting enough time away from the house if you wanted. All in all, Nate was a great dad and a wonderful husband... for the most part. 

Walking into your house, you can hear that a few of the guys are over and guessing by the cars in the driveway, it was Gabe, EJ, and Cale. You aren’t attacked in a hug until you reach the living room, Scarlett jumping off of Nate’s lap to waddle over and give you a giggly hug as you say hello to everyone.

“How was lunch?” Nate asks with a smile when you cross the room to sit with him on the couch.

“Good, my mom wants to invite us over for dinner soon”

“Yeah sure that’d be great”

“Show Y/n what Scarlett can do!” EJ chimed from the other side of the room with a big smile.

“Oh yeah this is cool” Nate smirks. “Scar? Can you get Daddy a drink?” You watch as your daughter obediently hops up and wanders into the kitchen. You hear the fridge open and shut before she emerges with a cold beer in her hand.

“Nathan!”

“What?” His eyes went wide, not liking being on the receiving end of your scorn.

“Why did you teach her that?” 

“It’s funny” He shrugs and you sigh loudly.

“Our three year old serving you alcohol is not funny” You turned to Gabe and Cale who were laughing. “I trusted you two to be responsible” You waved a finger between them but your words only made EJ let out a squawk.

“Hey! Why just them?” 

“Erik Johnson if you think I would trust you with anything-”

“Okay no reason to be rude” You roll your eyes at the dramatic display.

“Just at least promise me you won’t teach her how to open the can?” You turn to Nate who smirks before nodding and cracking open his fresh beer.

[chriskreiderrr]

the things i would give for my grandpa dilf meow meow erik johnson to score a goal

[hockstuff]

yeah that makes sense considering the only time im on is in the morning and after work around 7:30pm which is prime time for hockey tumblr.

if you were starring in the bachelorette who would be the 12 guys with you and who would win.

i’m so sorry this has been sitting in my ask for a hot minute agshsgsh but i finally got around to answering it ahahaha

12 guys (in no particular order after #1 lol) -

tyson jost (winner) ((lol no surprise at all😮‍💨😌))

anthony beauvillier

mat barzal

carter hart

juuse saros

mathieu joseph

matthew tkachuk

brandon duhaime

nico hischier

adam beckman

jason robertson

jack hughes

honorable mentions: ilya sorokin (not included purely bc i don’t want to experience @sorokie’s wrath AHAHAHA), isles dilf line (of course), artemi panarin, joel farabee, chris kreider, matt dumba, josh anderson, alex lyon, mikko rantanen, erik johnson

thinking of 12 players was hard actually!! i knew immediately who would win (LMAO are we surprised? probably not) but besides the winner, it was hardddd but so so so fun!!!

also when i was doing this i kept thinking of players closer to my age AHAHAH but i love me my dilfs/older players so a few got a honour ale mention😌

[shutupptara]

Taylor Swift songs and the hockey player I associate with them for one reason or another, part 2:

With red tv track listing released today, I’ve had Ms. Swift on repeat, so this is the outcome 😂 you can find part one here

*this is purely satirical, and my own opinions

Cruel Summer: Erik Johnson - specifically the line “he looks up grinning like the devil”. Big shout out to @capsvsducks bc she pointed this out and i haven’t stopped thinking about it since

I Think He Knows: John Marino - “he’s got that boyish look that I like in a man”.. John is a precious little bean, and I will not take questions at this time

Right Where You Left Me: Carl Hagelin - this is for selfish reasons mostly. I’m still sad he was traded from the Pens bc I love him w my whole heart, but he also has a tendency to worm his way into every team’s heart that he plays for. Then he leaves and you’re left waiting there, still a fan of your team, but now part of your heart is gone and if he ever thinks he got it wrong and wants to come back he always can!! (Especially to Pitt pls Carl I miss u)

Happiness: Tyson Barrie - I feel like Tys is def the type of ex boyfriend you want so desperately to hate and villainize and maybe for a while when you first break up you do, but eventually you realize that’s just not him. He brought happiness into your life, and you can find happiness again without him in it.

Stay Stay Stay: Evgeni Malkin - listen, Geno is the most loving Russian bear and this is such a happy song I can’t help but associate it with him. I 10000000% could see him putting on a football helmet after a fight and saying “okay let’s talk”. He’s always trying to make you laugh and he really does think it’s hilarious when you’re exasperated and grumpy with him but it’s all out of love

London Boy: Jeff Carter - yes, this is my attempt at being funny bc I’ve dubbed Jeff team dilf dad but he’s from London, Ontario sooo

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Brad Marchand - love him or hate him, he keeps the game interesting and every opposing player on his toes

I Almost Do: Conor Sheary - Con’s the ex you really never quit. You try to pretend like you have, but there’s always a part of you that will still want him back and you have to stop yourself from running to him time and time again because you need to move on, but you just can’t

So It Goes…: Jamie Oleksiak - I am a firm believer that Jamie would be a fantastic boyfriend, but it’s going to take a lot to get him to commit, not even in a bad way, he’s just so busy that he’s never bothered to make time for a real relationship. And then he meets you and he’s met his match in every sense. You’re perfect for each other and you challenge him in the best ways. Also like, who wouldn’t do bad things for Jamie?

[grubauer]

people put together nhl dream teams all the time based on things like “skill” and “statistics”, well i say enough. put together ur dream team based on looks alone. on vibes 🤌 i say it’s time we put vanity back into sports. objectify men a little bit.

ANON YOU ARE SO RIGHT. PUT VANITY BACK INTO SPORTS AND OBJECTIFY MEN A LITTLE BIT 2021. I AM ALL HERE FOR IT

fuck talent, lets build a team based on prettiness. who’s gonna be on it?

my friends and i think that the forwards should consist of

chris kreider - nate mack - mikko

anders - mat - nils (hes not a RW but we are forcing him to be 🔪)

beau - pld - mathieu joseph (reasoning: they all have massive zucchini energy (because theyre french) and its only right they play on a line together (not my words))

marty - zeeker - andy (it hurt to separate the dilf line but we had to fit josh in here somewhere. sorry cal)

(and we accidentally made a fifth line with jujhar khaira, zack mac, and mathias brome because we apparently cant count)

then the d corps would have roman josi, kris letang, erik johnson, haydn fleury, matt dumba, and jani hakanpaa (plus bowen for the youth factor 😌 (but if this were up to me id just copy & paste the avs d but i was about to get burned at the stake for that))

finally, carey price and laurent brossoit would be in goal

carey will have the C (the rule of the goalie not being allowed to wear it does not apply here) and matt martin and roman josi get the A. we wouldve given marty the C because he is president dilf after all, however carey price is god soooo

[holy-puckslibrary]

 ━  𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄.

-ˏˋ. 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ˊˎ-

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — dilf!erik johnson x ex-nanny!reader

𝐰𝐜 — 2.1k

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 — “you stuffed your bird, now its my turn.” — or, how erik and his nanny-turned-girlfriend spend their first thanksgiving as a couple.

18+ MDNI — content warnings under the cut.

𝐜𝐰 — mention of children, innuendo, profanity, unintentional risky location + exhibitionism, breeding kink + cum play, minor breath play, mention of birth control use, oral + fingering (f receiving), a lil bit of overstim, mention of food, minor EJ housewife kink lolz, d/s dynamics, spiritual iteration of my weird attachment to “birdie” as a pet name / the colloquial use of “bird” in the 60s/70s, discussion of serious commitments + a fun little cameo at the end!

ERIK’S SMIRK IS MOLTEN ON YOUR SKIN.

A day-old shadow blankets your body in goosebumps as he snuggles his warmed face into the crook of your neck, softly humming to himself as you enjoy the brief reprieve from the holiday hustle and bustle.

It’s wonderfully domestic.

Right down to his wandering hands…

Under the guise of assisting with the smorgasbord of desserts, your boyfriend—newly minted and proud of it—slipped out of the crowded dining room hot on your heels. While various family members and other loved ones groggily delighted in Erik’s affinity for the quieter acts of service, one glance at his charged countenance and you knew his motivations were decidedly un-wholesome.

You slice half a pumpkin pie before he bends you over the kitchen island.

────────────

the rest is available HERE for both all-stars AND super fans!

All of the stories and fantasies written or discussed on this blog by the owner or by followers are purely fictional and are not intended to offend any parties.

©2023 holy-pucks, all rights reserved. I do not give consent for any of my work to be copied, re-posted or translated here, on Tumblr, or on any other platform. Reproduction of any content from this blog is considered plagiarism.

-

⤑ to my inbox 💌

⬸ back to the catalog

⬸ back to the main blog

reblogs and comments welcome—and greatly appreciated!!

[darkangel0410]

Trying to kill off some time before hockey starts and figured I'd borrow something I saw on fb, so have my FAVORITE PLAYER THAT EVER PLAYED IN EACH FRANCHISE (brought to you by someone who got very indignant when they found out who my fave Sabre was 😂😂😂) (also Gretzky is exempt from this because Gretzky)

Anaheim Ducks: Chris Pronger (I blame @007waffles007 🙄🙄🙄)

*r*z**n* C*y*t*s: Dylan Strome (I mean duh)

Boston Bruins: Patrice Bergeron, the only actual angel to ever play hockey

Buffalo Sabres: JACK EICHEL, I DON'T CARE WHO ELSE EVER PLAYED THERE, FUCK PAT LAFONTAINE (I mean, not really, because LaFatoine was amazing but it's still Jack ❤❤❤🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸)

Calgary Flames: Matthew Tkachuk (Yes, I know, Ignilia, blah blah blah, but listen I didn't care about hockey when he was there and still good at hockey, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Carolina Hurricanes: Jordan Staal (and it's not even close)

Chicago Blackhawks: Brent Seabrook (every day of the week and twice on Sunday, one of the best d-men in franchise history and you can catch these hands if you disagree)

Colorado Avalanche: Max Talbot (❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤)

Columbus Blue Jackets: I mean, Pierre-Luc Dubois? I guess?

Dallas Stars: Patrick Sharp (I almost went with Jordie Benn but even I can only troll so much)

Detroit Red Wings: Pavel Datsyuk (who else would it be? come on now)

Florida Panthers: Brian Campbell (listen I don't watch them very much ok)

Edmonton Oilers: Connor McDavid (at least until someone rescues him)

LA Kings: Mike Richards (fuck you Lombardi, you douche)

Minnesota Wild: Brent Burns (sorry for poking old wounds wild fans)

Montreal Canadiens: Patrick Roy (so hot why is he like that second best goalie in hockey history)

Nashville Predators: PK Subban (listen I had to pick somebody and I know nothing of them from before 2014)

New Jersey Devils: Taylor Hall (or at least until they trade him)

New York Islanders: John Tavares (aka Johnny Cupcake aka Johnny Traitor aka Pajama Boy aka Hottest DILF on the Leafs)

New York Rangers: Chris Kreider (🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆)

Ottawa Senators: Brady Tkachuk (there's no one else, don't @ me)

Philadelphia Flyers: Danny Briere (🧡🧡🧡🧡)

San Jose Sharks: Joe Thornton (🍆🍆🍆🍆🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨)

ST L***s Bl**s: Erik Johnson (I think everyone is aware by now how much I love a good brat)

Tampa Bay Lightning: Brayden Point (that one is @adamsgirl42 fault 🙄🙄🙄)

Toronto Maple Leafs: Auston Matthews (or at least as long as he's done being a jackass)

Vancouver Canucks: Brock Boeser (is he the most famous? no, but he sure is pretty so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Vegas Golden Knights: Trevor van Riemsdyk (he totally counts, shut up)

Washington Capitals: Nicklas Backstrom (what can I say I love the murder eyes)

Winnipeg Jets: Patrik Laine (listen I had to choose someone...)

[holy-puckslibrary]

← previous month’s round-up

here's a list of everything i published in the month of DECEMBER

˗ˏˋ main masterlist ˎˊ˗ 

━ see the special events below!

━ none this month! 

━ FICMAS (tumblr)

˗ˏˋ THE MRS. CLAUSE ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — NATE MACKINNON x claus!reader premise — when she took the reins as the world's chief claus, her father forgot to disclose one very pressing hidden clause in the job contract…  cw — me getting way too into the lore of the council of legendary figures, reader is blinded by stress and nate is in lurrrvvv, and some mild angst wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ HOLIDATE ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JACK HUGHES x reader premise — in order to avoid the annual interrogation into his love life, jack hughes enlists his longtime friend to be his totally platonic plus-one for the holidays. cw — alcohol mention, jack being moody while luke and quinn are menaces, and reader and jack are idiots (in love, affectionate) wc — 2.3k

˗ˏˋ CANDY CANE GRAM ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — teacher!JEFF SKINNER x teacher!reader premise — their students decide to play matchmaker before a school dance; will their scheming pay off? cw — me using jeff as an outlet for the degree in education i don’t use bc i would like to be financially stable, jeff and reader being sneaky sneaky, kiddos trying to play cupid, and my history major jumping out! wc — 2.4k

˗ˏˋ THE NANNY ON THE SHELF ˎˊ˗ ➤ series masterlist   pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x reader premise — in erik's absence, his nanny takes over staging the family's elf on the shelf in order to keep the magic alive for his children. results are… questionable. cw — pre-relationship/pre-therapy erik being a dick and josie being sassy (if you can’t handle the heat, get outta the kitchen — looking @ you ej…) wc — 1.1k

˗ˏˋ TRADITION ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing — dbf!SIDNEY CROSBY x reader premise — it may not be the right plant, but it's close enough to justify upholding the festive tradition. cw — unspecified age gap (everyone's legal, dw), smokin' grass (oiud, a joint, mary jane, whichever term you want to use), 18+ content — innocence/corruption kink, adult language/dirty talk, sexual activity under the influence between two consenting adults, fingering (r), oral (r), slight exhibitionism kink, unprotected p in v + creampie (a very merry chrysler to you) wc — 4.4k

find more more holiday content ˗ˏˋ HERE ˎˊ˗

your fellow readers (and my lovely patrons) gifted you some spine-chilling spice this holiday season! be sure to thank them for their generosity when you get a chance <33

˗ˏˋ FARMER’S DAUGHTER ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — foreman!JOSH ANDERSON x farmer’s daughter!reader premise — she’ll always remember the time she let her daddy's foreman soil her in the middle of his pasture… cw — backdoor play, costumes/roleplay (kinda sorta), + risky location/exhibitionism, implied age gap, outdated patriarchal beliefs, innocence kink, corruption kink, slight humilation kink, spit as lube, dacryphilia, slight overstim, unprotected p in v, possessive!josh x virgin!reader (outdated definition and beliefs here, too) and just general filth wc — 3.5k

˗ˏˋ BONER-KILLER ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — camp counselor!JACK HUGHES x camp counselor!reader premise — no machetes, no hockey masks… at least, that’s what he promised. cw — a few jokes about death/dying and murder, rather short n tame ("vanilla") barely-there spice from me???, jack being a little shithead (and a little switchy omg), a smidge of angst, and spoopy ending… (kevin heimbach hive rise!) wc — 1.4k

˗ˏˋ NEW PERSPECTIVE ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — (soft)dark!stalker!QUINN HUGHES x grey!reader premise — in his own shadowy domain, he could be whatever and whoever he wanted… cw — dom!reader + subby-as-hell!quinn (ngl he’s kind of a pathetic loser here, but that’s why we love him), m!receiving oral (perhaps too much idk you tell me) + cum play x2, quinn rendered dumb and speechless by his raging humiliation kink and his need for degradation (and an itty bitty bit of praise — quinn: new kink unlocked), i have been plagued w ball play as of late so im subjecting yall to it, mention of edging and orgasm denial, oh and just some pheromone kink bits and a cute lil oral fixation moment or two, nothing to see here! wc — 4k

˗ˏˋ LIVE DEMONSTRATION ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) ➤ series masterlist pairing(s) — camboy!MITCH MARNER x camgirl!reader (+ some special guests) premise — their first performance with a live studio audience! cw — cameos…bc cameo lol, public sex (a literal audience), unprotected boinking + creampie, some reach-around finger-bang action, unprotected coitus + cum play bc mitchy is nasty, praise kink influencer!mitch — "content, baby, content!" (name that vlogger lol), brief past phone sex (kinda? idk you'll see), discussion of sex work and the selling of items wc — 3k

˗ˏˋ A PEARL ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — captain!ERIK KARLSSON x reader premise — its the rum talking… or is it? cw — stranger sex and CMNF, 18th century purity culture and oral (f receiving)  wc — 600 (preview of my POTC au)

find more spooky content ˗ˏˋ HERE  ˎˊ˗

━ WHAT I POSTED ON PATREON 

˗ˏˋ 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — firefighter!QUINN HUGHES x reader premise — over a decade ago, jack hughes broke her little sister’s heart. out of loyalty, she hasn’t spoken to his elder brother, quinn hughes, since. the holiday season is brimming with miracles; will a mended bridge make the list this year? cw — angst with a fluffy ending, quinn and the reader being overprotective idiots, named sister!oc (for the reader), kinda non-linear timeline, and less dialogue from me than usual wc — 2.7k

˗ˏˋ 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — baker!NICO HISCHIER x wedding planner!reader premise — nico, the owner of the most sought-after bakery in town, has always had a crush on the reader, an equally popular wedding planner in the area. never more than acquaintances, they still bonded over a shared love of sweetening memories for their special clients. without words, he can tell something is different this time – something is wrong. something happened last christmas; can nico save her from tears this year? cw — angst, mention of infidelity (not on or by nico), a failed engagement and some scrooge-esque pessimism, and some tooth-rotting, cliché fluff! wc — 1.6k

˗ˏˋ 𝐍𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐘 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — MICHAEL BERZATTO (fx’s the bear) x reader premise — he should be at the celebrating, but he isn’t. he was, but not anymore. not after she called. instead, he’s playing… knight in shining sleigh for his kid brother’s childhood playmate. there’s only one way for this night to end… and it won’t land either of them on the nice list this year… cw — unreliable narrator + self-deprecation, age gap, non-canon timeline for the bear (because i don't want to do math lol), mention of reader x ritchie and implied past carmie x reader, alcohol, a lot of degradation, thigh riding / dry humping, orgasm denial, spit play, unhealthy people in an unhealthy non-relationship relationship, a pinch of misogyny, slight impact play, and slight inappropriate use of a santa costume… wc — 2.9k

˗ˏˋ 𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐎 ˎˊ˗ (social media au) pairing(s) — JACK HUGHES x reader; jack hughes x olivia rodrigo (iykyk); COLE CAUFIELD x reader premise — inspired by the song of the same name off of sab’s fruitcake ep cw — mention of cheating, me villianizing jack a wee bit, well-deserved cole love, and me having too much fun with famous!reader

˗ˏˋ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — dilf!ERIK JOHNSON x nanny!reader ➤ series masterlist  premise — (set before the main story) every member of the johnson household loves christmas. all but the patriarch, whose heart seems to be two sizes too small. there is one person, however, who might put things right… cw — too much time in grinch!erik’s head, erik being a douche canoe for no reason and mopey because he’s emotionally constipated, alarming lack of josie and reese, and mel stirring the pot wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ (𝐑����𝐃, 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃) 𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN (tg: maverick) x bradshaw!reader premise — a christmas miracle is orchestrated by the one person she least expects. cw — a cheesy nickname, mention of candy, an only child writing sibling banter, me not being over goose’s death (that i’ve only seen once because i physically can't experience that again), a smidge of angst followed by tooth-rotting fluff, a wee bit suggestive at the end, and my inability to keep a story contained to one upload wc — 1.8k

˗ˏˋ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐄 𝐌𝐑𝐒. ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — professor!SIDNEY CROSBY x TA / grad student!reader premise — red lips, green envy. cw — nameless biotches trying to steal our man!! power imbalance, secret situationship, references to sex but nothing descriptive, and angst angst angst but some fluff for good measure too, some oc deets added to the reader (nothing physical) for story purposes, and insecurity being a bitch but sid is so words of affirmation slay <3 wc — 2.3k new au verse coming soon!

˗ˏˋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐍 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — MATTHEW TKACHUK x reader premise — during an island getaway, festive fury brings unspoken truths to the surface. cw — white people vacationing in hawai’i, mention of alcohol and liquid courage, reference to (past) underage drinking and (past) sex between consenting minors, mention of elementary age-bully, matty being a jealous, elitist douche via inner monologue and a loser-boy via sudden on-set of foot-in-mouth disease (very dangerous — stay safe out there, y’all!), reference to virginity / a lil slut-shaming, angst with a fluffy, suggestive ending wc — 3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐘 ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — grinch!JAMIE DRYSDALE x martha may!reader premise — jamie hates christmas, but it may just all be a misunderstanding. cw — jamie being a passive aggressive baby because he's emotionally constipated, references to childhood bullying, emotional cheating / physical cheating (not on jamie or the reader, brief and kinda wholesome), jamie smoking a cig bc ~stressed~ (and a lack of healthy coping skills), mention of blood/violence (super brief), and references to an angel tree topper but no religion or religious components wc — 2.3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐔𝐌 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — single dad!MATT MARTIN x ballerina!reader premise — its the first role many young ballerinas aspire toward, and matt’s daughter is no different. however, matt has different aspirations for this season’s sugar plum fairy… cw — an age gap (unspecified, but mentioned), naughty things in a risky and wholesome location, me caring too much about stage costumes, non-hockey playin’ matt (implied), unprotected p in v coitus, and matt being a dirty simpy dog for his kid’s favorite person wc — 1.3k

˗ˏˋ 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖! ˎˊ˗ pairing(s) — JOE BURROW x reader premise — an unexpected road trip with his best friend’s little sister becomes a bit more than joe bargained for—in the best way possible. cw — insensitive comment about concussions, awkward!joe 🤍's the reader, + reader has a fear of storms and an overprotective brother wc — 1.4k

˗ˏˋ 𝐃𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — JEREMY SWAYMAN x reader premise — his california girl has never seen snow. this isn’t exactly what she had in mind, but she's not complaining… cw — this is straight-up p*rn. cum sharing/cum play, unprotected anal sex + ass eating from the back🙊, manhandling (affectionate), bondage via ribbon, spitting <3, minor objectification + minor discussion of injury, hints of overstim, personification of body parts, and dom!sway being a downright filthy menace ass man with a condescending potty mouth (pun not intended, but funny nonetheless) wc — 1.9k

˗ˏˋ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — TREVOR ZEGRAS x reader (established); JAMIE DRYSDALE x reader; MASON MCTAVISH x reader; background trevor x the boys; slight jamie x mason premise — what better gift on your friends to bestow than the gift that keeps on giving? cw — everyone’s a lil bi because why not, trevor is boyfriend of the year, mason and jamie bickering over whose turn it is to munch, tz + reader are switchy and mason + jamie are bratty and subby, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), accidental edging, trevor being a cocky menace and stirring the pot, and a wee bit of a cliff-hanger bc i'm incapable of controlling myself :-) oh, and the current pet name fixation of the week! wc — 2k

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐊 & 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒 ˎˊ˗ (18+ // minors DNI) pairing(s) — movie!MIKE SCHMIDT (fnaf) x reader premise — mike has something very specific on his list this christmas. cw — slight festive roleplay, breeding kink to the max (with the explicit intention of getting her knocked tf up), mike being obsessed with tits (and having a raging lactation kink), nipple play, dry humping & domestic dirty talk, no p in v (happens off-page/screen), mention of a past pregnancy scare, me wanting abby to be happy with every fiber of my being, and potential FNAF spoilers (honestly, not really) wc — 2.5k

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All of the stories and fantasies written or discussed on this blog by the owner or by followers are purely fictional and are not intended to offend any parties.

©2023 holy-pucks, all rights reserved. I do not give consent for any of my work to be copied, re-posted, or translated here, on Tumblr, or on any other platform. Reproduction of any content from this blog is considered plagiarism.

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[holy-puckslibrary]

˗ˏˋ main masterlist ˎˊ˗

the spit saga (18+) pairing — jamie drysdale x reader | series inspired by this

recent update!!

palomino princess pairing — bull-rider!matthew tkachuk x hughes!reader

kindled pairing — firefighter!sidney crosby x florist!reader

varsity blues (exists in the nanny verse) pairing — dilf!erik johnson x ex-nanny!wife!reader

puff puff pass (requested) (18+)

muppet crumbs #2 (requested) (18+) pairing — subby!trent frederic x reader

hoppy easter, every-bunny! (requested) (18+) pairing — matthew tkachuk x reader

mommy & daddy (requested) (18+) pairing — matthew tkachuk x reader

(older) brother's best friend (requested) pairing — college!sidney crosby x reader

part two

˗ˏˋ my inbox ˎˊ˗

original blog — @holy-pucks

[huggybug]

happy dilf day! #19 with nate mack? thank you so much <3

happy dilf day!

19. “You’re doing great buddy!”

“Daddy, I’m scared” You had to bite your lip to keep in your laughter. Nate had been fighting you for months now about getting your son out on the ice. You argued that he had to be at least three before you let him out there but Nate was adamant on it being sooner. Since the argument had been going on since Kaden learnt how to walk, you comprised at two years old.

“Don’t be scared, I got you” Nate was crouched over, trying to keep your son upright as he took his first steps onto the ice. You were standing a ways away with Mel, clinging onto her for support since you were terrified of him falling. The fear only growing when EJ whizzed by with Linnea in tow, almost knocking your son over.

“Erik Johnson get away from there! Gabe!” You whined and Gabe nodded, chasing after EJ and his daughter. With you attention back on Nate, you watched as Kaden started to get the hang of it.

“Keep going! You’re doing great buddy!” Nate cheered him on, skating backwards so that Kaden could reach out and grab him if he felt like he was falling. Once he got a bit of practice in, Nate picked him up and you skated towards them, leaving your safety spot with Mel.

“Good job K! Was it fun?” Nate wrapped his free arm around you as you fell into a conversation with your son. Nate just listened to the two people he loved the most talk about skating and the need for hot chocolate (that was mostly you) and he was so invested, he didn’t even hear the social media team’s camera shutter as it took pictures of your little family to share on Instagram.

[ilyasorokinn]

off-season wrap up !

welcome to my off-season wrap-up! i know people leave during off-season, so i decided to make a whole post about all the work i've cultivated over the summer. this was totally inspired by @antoineroussel after i saw her off-season wrap up.

if you're coming back to the app for the first time in months, please check out this post with a whole list of new updates on my account :)

hockey!

fics!

colorado avalanche!

✷ champs (erik johnson) - i think the title tells you everything you need to know

✷ celly season (erik johnson) - what do you do after you win the stanley cup? celebrate like there's no tomorrow.

florida panthers!

✷ new beginnings (matthew tkachuk) - matthew tkachuk gets traded to the florida panthers.

montreal canadiens!

✷ number one (juraj slafkovsky) - exactly what the title and gif below imply.

new york islanders!

✷ the deal (anthony beauvillier) - my summer fic exchange fic. the summary is too long to post here, but i promise it's good, and it took a while so check it out.

philadelpha flyers!

✷ goodbye osky (joel farabee) - the farabee children are sad to see their seconds favorite flyer leave.

blurbs!

as for blurbs, i wrote a good chunk (a lot), so i'm just gonna link my blurbs as a whole. here's the link, you'll find blurbs from two different events on there.

as for avs night, i'll just link the masterlists here. (part one, part two)

dilf day (in honor of father's day)

taylor's blurb "night" (an event just cause, that i'm still working on lol)

top gun!

fics!

✷ just like dad (rooster) bradley left for a two-day mission, and his daughter, jamie, misses him. so y/n helps take her mind off it.

✷ like the movies (hangman) - after being left at the altar, y/n gets into her car and drives. with no destination in mind, she eventually ends up in front of a bar in san diego. she garners everyone's attention the moment she walks through the doors, one of those people being hangman.

blurbs!

✷ evil chicken-man (rooster) - bradley gets called to the same base, and surprises aren't something y/n likes very much.