#dinosaur/superhero acting out for attention kid

[diyesinternationalschool]

How to Choose the Best Books for Your Preschooler: Tips and Recommendations

During these formative years, a child's mind is akin to a sponge, absorbing information and experiences at an astonishing rate. Books act as windows to various worlds, exposing children to diverse perspectives, emotions, and concepts. This immersive journey into the realms of imagination and knowledge has a profound impact on their cognitive abilities, emotional intelligence, and social interactions. However, with the vast array of children's literature available, finding the books that align with your preschooler's interests and developmental stage can seem like a challenging endeavour. This blog aims to be your guiding light, offering valuable insights and practical advice to ensure that the books you select not only capture their attention but also contribute to their holistic growth and love for exploration.

How to Choose the Best Books for Your Kids

In a world filled with distractions, cultivating a love for reading in children is a gift that lasts a lifetime. The journey of selecting the perfect books for your kids can be both exciting and overwhelming. The right books can ignite their imagination, spark their curiosity, and lay the foundation for a lifelong passion for learning.

Below are a series of tips and recommendations that we will delve into, guiding you through the process of selecting the perfect books for your kids. These insights will assist you in navigating the vast array of children's literature, ensuring that the books you choose not only capture your child's attention but also contribute to their overall growth and development. Whether you are seeking books for infants, toddlers, or school-age children, these guidelines promise to make your journey into the world of literature both fulfilling and enriching.

Understanding Your Preschooler's Interests

Preschoolers are naturally curious and drawn to specific subjects. Observing their preferences can help you select books that resonate with their interests. Whether it's animals, exploration, fairy tales, or superheroes, aligning reading materials with their passions can ignite their excitement for learning. Customizing their reading experience in this way promotes a positive association with books and encourages them to view reading as an enjoyable activity.

Children at this age are naturally curious and enthusiastic about the world around them. By identifying their passions, you can guide them toward books that resonate deeply. For instance, if your child is fascinated by dinosaurs, seek out books that transport them to the prehistoric world, introducing them to these marvellous creatures. If they're captivated by construction vehicles, opt for books that showcase the thrilling world of diggers, bulldozers, and cranes. By aligning the reading material with your child's interests, you're not just fostering a love for reading but also nurturing their curiosity and imagination, which are essential for early learning.

Moreover, when you choose books that align with your child's interests, you're creating an immersive experience where they can relate to the characters and scenarios on a personal level. This connection enhances their engagement with the story, making reading an enjoyable and interactive activity. As they explore topics, they're passionate about, they're more likely to ask questions, share their thoughts, and even create their own stories inspired by what they've read. This process not only strengthens their comprehension skills but also encourages their creativity to flourish.

Look for Age-Appropriate Content

Preschoolers have a remarkable ability to absorb information, but their attention spans are still developing. Hence, when selecting books, it's crucial to consider their age and developmental stage. Opt for books with simple language and vibrant, captivating illustrations. Rhyming books and stories with repetitive phrases engage young minds and aid in language development. Board books and picture books are especially suited for this age group, offering bite-sized stories that cater to their evolving attention spans. These books provide the perfect platform for interactive reading experiences, where you can ask questions, encourage them to point out objects, and explore the visuals together. This not only enhances their comprehension but also makes reading an enjoyable bonding activity.

Moreover, age-appropriate content also ensures that the themes and messages conveyed in the stories are relatable and comprehensible to your child. It allows them to connect with the characters' emotions and experiences, fostering their emotional intelligence. As you read stories tailored to their age, you're providing them with the tools to understand and express their feelings, which is a crucial aspect of their social and personal development.

Choose Books with Diversity

Children's literature has a profound impact on shaping attitudes and perspectives. Therefore, it's crucial to introduce your preschooler to books that reflect the diverse world we live in. Seek out stories with characters from different backgrounds, cultures, and races. Exposure to diverse characters helps children develop empathy and a sense of inclusion, fostering an understanding of others.

Additionally, select books that touch on important social themes. Stories that address topics like friendship, kindness, bullying, and cooperation provide valuable life lessons that contribute to your child's emotional and social growth. By offering a variety of narratives, you're not only nurturing a love for reading but also cultivating an open-minded and compassionate individual.

Also, when your child encounters characters from various backgrounds, they develop a broader perspective of the world. This exposure teaches them to appreciate differences and recognize the common threads that connect all of humanity. By discussing these diverse stories, you can engage your child in meaningful conversations about empathy, fairness, and the importance of treating everyone with respect. This foundation is instrumental in shaping their values and attitudes as they grow and interact with people from all walks of life.

Select Books with Valuable Lessons

Books hold the power to convey powerful messages and life lessons, even to the youngest readers. When selecting books for your preschooler, consider those that impart essential values. Look for stories that showcase characters making ethical choices and learning from their experiences. Themes like kindness, sharing, honesty, and perseverance can be beautifully woven into engaging narratives. These stories create opportunities for you to discuss moral dilemmas and guide your child's understanding of right and wrong. Through these literary explorations, you're not just encouraging a love for reading but also imparting crucial life skills that will shape their character and interactions with others.

Moreover, stories with valuable lessons provide your child with a safe space to explore complex emotions and situations. As they empathize with the characters' journeys, they begin to internalize the importance of virtues like empathy, integrity, and resilience. By discussing the characters' decisions and their outcomes, you're fostering their critical thinking skills and helping them develop a sense of discernment as they navigate real-life situations.

Explore Non-Fiction

While fiction books are delightful, non-fiction books also have a special place in a preschooler's reading journey. These books offer a gateway to learning about the real world in an engaging and accessible manner. If your child has a fascination with animals, for example, non-fiction books about different species, their habitats, and behaviours can captivate their curiosity. Similarly, if they're intrigued by the cosmos, non-fiction titles about space exploration, planets, and astronauts can provide a wealth of knowledge. Non-fiction books encourage a thirst for information and contribute to the development of their general knowledge. These informative reads can be incorporated seamlessly into their reading routine, offering an enriching balance between imagination and factual learning.

Non-fiction books provide your child with a chance to satisfy their innate curiosity about the world around them. Whether it's learning about the lifecycle of a butterfly or exploring the mysteries of the deep sea, these books ignite their sense of wonder and encourage them to ask questions. As you read non-fiction together, you're not only imparting new knowledge but also showing them that learning is an ongoing and exciting process. This approach nurtures their inquisitive nature and lays the foundation for a lifelong love of exploration and discovery.

Encourage Interactive Reading: Shared Exploration and Imagination

Picture yourself reading "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus!" by Mo Willems to your preschooler. Their giggles light up the room as they enjoy the pigeon's antics. Encourage them to predict what the pigeon might do next or even invent their own story ending. Similarly, with "We're All Wonders" by R.J. Palacio, discussing the importance of empathy and celebrating differences becomes an interactive experience. This engagement not only deepens their connection to the stories but also nurtures their critical thinking, creativity, and communication skills.

Moreover, interactive reading goes beyond passive listening; it transforms the act of reading into an active and dynamic process. Encouraging your child to predict outcomes, share their thoughts, or even role-play characters brings the stories to life in their minds. This process enhances their comprehension by challenging them to analyse the plot, characters, and motivations. Additionally, it cultivates their creativity as they contribute their own ideas to the narrative, empowering them to see reading as a collaborative adventure where their voice matters.

Trips to Literary Havens: Library and Bookstore Adventures

Imagine the excitement in your preschooler's eyes as they step into a library or bookstore, surrounded by shelves brimming with captivating tales. Whether they choose "Corduroy" by Don Freeman, a story of friendship and adventure, or "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" by Laura Numeroff, a whimsical tale of cause and effect, these experiences empower them to make choices and engage actively with their reading journey. These literary outings not only introduce them to the joy of selecting their own stories but also nurture a lifelong relationship with books.

Visits to libraries and bookstores become transformative experiences that instill a sense of ownership and excitement about reading. Encourage your child to explore the aisles, touch the covers, and even participate in themed events or reading circles. These outings not only expand their literary horizons but also foster a sense of community and shared exploration. The physical act of choosing books empowers them, promoting decision-making skills and cultivating a love for browsing through the pages of countless adventures.

Conclusion

In conclusion, choosing the perfect books for your preschooler involves a thoughtful consideration of their interests, age-appropriateness, engaging illustrations, narrative style, educational content, diversity, quality of art, interactivity, and physical durability. By curating a well-rounded collection of books that cater to these aspects, you can provide your child with a diverse and enriching reading experience. As you guide your child through the world of literature, remember that DiYES International School is here to support and enhance their holistic growth, ensuring they become individuals who excel academically and flourish in all facets of life.

For further information about DiYES International School, you can visit our website at www.diyesinternational.com or reach out to us through the provided contact details: +91 8547509000.

#preschoolreading #earlychildhoodeducation #bookswithmeaning #holisticlearning

[miss-louisa-may]

right so i've discovered that i've tagged things weirdly forever so i'm gonna use those tags and find out what the fuck i was on about

these are just the A tags

[woogyu]

Funny Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; funny member prompt # or #s.

ex. funny member #12 + #15

ex. funny florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

~ prompts under the cut ~

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often or I don’t like it

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ]

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.” “If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?” “Because we’re attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but…no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.” “Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?” “Yeah. let me grab my machete.” “We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.” “I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?” “Tying my shoe.” “You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit…i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.” “Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.” “well i mean-” “whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Sick Little Games: Seventeen

"Babe, you okay?" Clint said, toweling off his hair and padding over to your makeup table where you're sitting and looking a little lost. 

"Yeah," you answer. You sound dejected. And not okay. But Clint knows better than to pry. Sometimes, you have to feel on your own before you can tell him about them. And after dodging your parents all week, he isn't surprised you're reluctant to go out tonight. 

He crosses the floor and sits at your vanity next to you, "So," he asks, amused, "What makeup look are we going for tonight? Emo moppet or Ethereal Fairy?"

You half shrug, "I was thinking sparkly Alien."

"Ooo," he teases, giving you a nudge and a wink, "Switching it up on me? I'm gonna be thinking I'm getting some strange when we get home."

You snort and lean against his side for a second, wanting some comfort. A little adoration. Some semblance of "okay." Clint obliges, pulling you closer. "Baby," he murmurs, "We don't have to go out tonight if you don't want to."

"But I can't hide here forever," you point out. 

Clint smiles, "You can if you want to. No one would judge you... Stirling is a gross person. What kinda person tries to picket a building full of superheroes?"

"You're all unclean, dealing with me," you murmur, looking away. Your face heats and Clint won't let you pull away. There's been a lot of reflexive shame. A lot of struggling. 

Clint snorted bitterly, "If they really believe that, then why are they trying to reach out?"

You shrug, "I'm recognizable now. I'm not their "missing" kid anymore... People are probably calling Stirling's ministry into question. Primarily since he built it on the back of "saving" kids because he couldn't "save" me."

"That's bullshit," he hissed.

You nod and take a deep breath, "Yeah. But now they expect me to swoop in and save the family ministry... denounce my evil ways. Whatever that means."

Clint smiles a little, "Well, I hope you don't. I kinda like them."

You laugh and kiss his jaw, "Horn dog," you scold, without any real heat. 

"Well, yeah," he said unrepentantly. You roll your eyes and start fussing with your makeup. He watches for a moment. He likes the transformation. It reminds him irresistibly of you getting ready for battle. It's methodical. Crisp and precise. But tonight he doesn't stay to watch you do the whole thing. He dresses and slips out, going to look for Steve.

"Hey Cap," he called, leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen. 

"Yeah?" he asked, stirring a cup of coffee. 

"Is there anything we can do to keep the picketers from harassing Y/N?"

"Legally?" Steve asked.

"Sure," Clint said.

"Not a fucking thing," Steve said, his mouth screwing up in distaste. "They filed all their permits with the city and as long as no one puts hands on her? There's nothing we can do... Legally."

Steve watched the wheels turning in Clint's head and sighed, "Look," Steve said hurriedly, "I don't like it either." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Y/N is a good girl. She's not... She's not any of the things they're calling her. For god's sake. She knits and bakes cookies. She's in bed by 11 and... well. She's a good girl. A sweet kid. She doesn't deserve this, but... The harder we fight it, the worse it's going to look like we have something to hide. And that... That's just gonna whip people into a bigger frenzy. Gain more attention."

Clint frowned, "She's afraid to leave to go out, Steve," he protested. 

Steve exhaled slowly, "I know," he groaned, "Nat's been up my ass about it too... Look. Legally? There's nothing I can do. Nothing I can be SEEN to do."

"So, if I do something..." Clint pressed.

"This conversation never happened," Steve said firmly. 

Clint smirked, and Steve said a prayer. A small prayer that whatever the archer did, at the very least, wouldn't lead to maiming. 

_________

Clint smiled when you stepped out of the elevator and whistled softly. "Sparkly Space Alien" was indeed a look. Your outfit was art. And so was your face. You were almost completely unrecognizable. At least. You would be to people that had pretended you were dead for over a decade. He steals a soft kiss and brushes and errant lock of hair out of your eyes, "You're so out of my league."

"It's fine, you make me laugh," you answer, snuggling against his chest and sliding your arms inside his jacket around his waist to be closer to him.

"Is that all?" he askes, feigning hurt.

"Sometimes you open jars," you quip, smiling up at him.

"Damn right, I do," he rumbles, "Especially after you loosen 'em up for me."

You smudge a kiss against his jaw, happy to be close to him. And in a way, glad that he isn't intimidated. That you can still tease him. That it still feels right snuggling into his arms to get warm. Or just for a cuddle because you're touch starved. You're also glad that he doesn't care if he finds you cuddled up with Thor. Or Bruce. Or both of them when he has to be away. Platonic cuddle piles had always been a thing, and Clint was okay with it. Though he liked being the first person you went to for comfort. 

Bucky leans on the pool table, scowling to himself as he cleans his nails. It's grotesquely cute. The way Clint folds you into his arms and coddles you. Giving you a moment to hide against his chest. The way you look up at him. Big bright eyes and glitter-dusted cheeks. Discordant looks. Clint's grey sweatshirt jacket and jeans. Your pop/punk/glitter alien nonsense. You look like you stepped out of a magazine and Clint? That boy looks like it's laundry day. Like he just threw on the last handful of clean clothes that he had. And not for the first time, as the protesters outside the tower start singing. As they settle in to start their candlelit vigil or whatever, Bucky wonders what the fuck Clint is actually going to do about this. Bucky also wonders why any of the people out there give a fuck if you can Abracadabra your way out of a mess. But as you walk by with Clint, tucked happily into his side, giggling at whatever he'd just said, bucky itches to snatch you off his arm and remind Clint that he'd had you first. That he'd been the first one to pin you to a bed. 

He'd seen the permissive way that Clint acted with you. The way he didn't bat an eye at you lying on the couch with people that weren't him. The way someone else casually kissing your cheek or picking you up to move you out of the road didn't phase him. He never so much as blinked at anyone, just swinging you off your feet. Like last week when the Hulk fucking took you and picked you up like a doll. Setting you on his shoulder while he scaled a goddamn building. All Clint had had to say was, "Aww man, why's he never do that for me? I gotta monkey fuck my own way up to a ledge."

"Hawkeye, not as cute to look at," Hulk chuckled, "No, make me cookies."

"Oh, come on!" Clint protested, "I taught you how to cha-cha slide."

"She teaches me how to Cupid Shuffle," Hulk answered, smirking. 

"Damn it!" Clint said, snapping, "Outfoxed again."

Nothing phased him. Nothing bothered him. He didn't even care if you had to flirt with someone for a mission. And Bucky thought that was ridiculous. If, he thought, mentally shaking his head and correcting himself. No, When you were his girl, that kind of thing wasn't gonna happen. You were gonna behave. You were gonna keep your hands to yourself.

_________

In the bar, you lean against Bruce and sigh, "Not gonna lie, I feel a little overdressed."

"You are a bit," he says fondly, brushing glitter off his arm where you'd leaned on him. "Still dodging protestors?" 

You nod and sigh, "Luckily, all the news tends to publicize is the pictures of me sweating a covered in blood or various viscera."

Bruce winced sympathetically and smiled a little, "I'm sorry, Y/N," he says, "If it helps, they can't do this forever."

"No," you agree, "But they can do it as long as Stirling's little cult keeps sending him money."

"That's gross," Bruce said.

"Tell me about it," you answer, taking a sip from your glass.

"My Lady," Thor ventured, "How did your mother find herself with this man? He doesn't seem to have any affection for you."

You shrug, "Being a single mom is hard, Thor," you answer. "Being a single mom with a checkered past is harder... so when Mama found Jesus, she found Stirling."

Thor nodded, frowning, "And then?" he pressed.

"And then... He became our new normal. He had money you know? And once they got married mama didn't have to work 16 hour days to keep food on the table. So. It didn't really matter if he said dinosaurs were the work of the devil. Or that everything we read or watched had to be "approved" to keep our minds pure. And it was... okay. Until I was 12."

Bruce made a soft, sympathetic noise and signaled for you to be given another drink. "That's when you got your powers, right?" he asked.

"Got my period and my powers at the same time... Worst fucking birthday ever," you grouse, "And I'm still shitty about it."

Thor smiles a little and sips from his glass, "That- yes, that would be bullshit."

You nod, "Not too long after that, Stirling put me and the bag my mama packed on a greyhound and shipped my ass to California... Figured no one would look for me there... Then they waited a few months, buried an empty casket, and spent over a decade cashing in all that sweet, sweet sympathy."

Bruce kissed the side of your head and sighed, "That's... That's a mess."

You nod, "Yeah. But at least I learned how to dress."

"That's true," Bruce said, laughing. You might be overdressed right now, but at least you weren't rocking unironic fanny packs messy, shapeless clothing. Your clothes actually fit you, and you looked comfortable. They all looked like lizard people who were struggling to figure out how their skin suits worked. 

"Say the word, my lady," Thor declared, raising his tankard, "And I will smite them!"

"No, smiting!" Tony yelled from across the bar, "Absolutely not!"

"He's talking about the protestors!" Bruce called back.

"Oh. Shit. Yeah. I'll help!" he says, throwing back a shot. 

You roll your eyes, "Easy boys," you caution, "Don't underestimate the power of zealots... Just... All we have to do is wait. Stirling's built himself a house of cards. And he's one stiff breeze away from losing it all."

Tags:

@lancsnerd, @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess, @stevieang, @beautybyfire, @sunmoonandbucky @mrsfox79, @bbmommy0902, @mendes-fan, @iheartsebastianstan, @wtfcas @pinknerdpanda, @process-pending, @ladifreakingda, @leasly, @coldbookworm, @hv-chw3, @past-perfect-future-tense, @starkrobb @beardburnsupersoldiers, @petlaufeyson, @queenoftheunderdark, @potatoheadthewise, @thehyperactiveteen, @thefridgeismybestie, @boyett514, @an-awkward-human-1, @sunshine-and-riverwater

[phoebehalliwell]

inspired by your "can demons love" and "nature vs nurture" - imagine Cole Turner if the prevailing influence in his life had been his human father and not his demon mother

oh see my kneejerk response is like superhero cole but then like i remember he was born in the nineteenth century so um. maybe not. and since i’m remembering he’s like a hundred something years old but looks like thirty, now i’ve got some questions about aging. bc like presumably his demon mother ages the same as him, so that was no biggie when he was being raised but like. does he age like thor where it’s human aging but at an incredibly reduced rated like it takes him four years to age one Or is it a renesme situation where he’s gonna age until he reaches an age that’s convenient for the plot and then stop. i think being a baby for like a full on decade is a lil too weird so we’ll go option two. actually before i can go into this What was the whole situation between coles parents? were they in love? did she trick him? was he specifically chose for some reason to be the father of the baby (prophecy, a position of power, etc?). bc if it was like a power play if she did trick him than why ever tell him he had a kid why not get pregnant and fuck off to go raise ur baby elsewhere. but then if they were in love, what happened that drove her to kill him? And While I’m At It: cole’s demon half is belthazor he looks Like That jumping all the way back to s1 with hecate i’m p sure the reason she wanted her baby to be half human was so it would look human (and be born into an affluent family). the same thing with the half manticore baby in s6 (also, again, how. how did that happen and how did derek even know he was a father. who told him). the point i’m trying to make is did coles mother have a demon half? a darth maulette look going for her? was her human presentation a glamour? a potion? was cole experimented on as a baby and that’s what made him belthazor? does he naturally have those markings or is he 100% red but with tats? i’m completely Not Answering ur question but like i have so many of my own. 

okay so ignore that whole upper paragraph specifically au where cole is raised by his father he does not have limited immortality his dad fell in love with a demon and she loved him back but then she was found out she had to go underground or whatever rejoin the fold to protect her family and they never saw her again. maybe she’s dead. maybe she’s still alive and well in the ranks of the underworld. maybe she’s wearing dinosaur armor in the uncharted sea at the center of the earth. who can say. not cole. blah blah blah the point is benjamin turner raises cole first and foremost as a human, but y’know when cole starts figuring out he can throw fire and teleport and when he gets really really angry turns into a stunt double covered in red paint his dad has to sit him down and give him The Talk (the he ur half demon as in underworld evil talk Yes magic is real). and i think the one thing ben would really try to express is how much his mom love him, how much she loved them both. and i do think cole would have these little memories of his mom making a lil mobile out of tiny glowing fireballs above his head and little baby him trying to knock them out of the air and y’know stuff like that. so cole always knew he could love. he always knew demons could love. and i think yeah he would definitely wanna help people i mean he has superpowers and all that hello (and part of him does know his powers come from evil and that scares him so he views doing good as sort of an act of penance to counteract the fact that he believes himself to be at his core evil) and his dad’s just like hey i know u really like helping people maybe pump the breaks tho bc ur starting to draw attention to urself and that can be dangerous i don’t want anything to happen to you and cole who’s like maybe late teens is all like yeah sure but in his head he’s like i am basically invincible i am incredibly difficult to kill nothing’s gonna stop me imma keep doing this But jokes on him bc you can only save so many people w ur demonic powers before rumors start to spread about those powers before rumors reach people who can id them as demonic powers before demons find out there’s one of their own on the surface and move to reclaim him so you know they scope cole out like hey kid we gotta a thrilling opportunity for you riches fame action you name it just come with us and cole’s like no thanks i gotta watch out for my bad maybe some other time and the demons are like oh word? ur dad? that’s the thing that’s keeping you here? uhh long story short those demons Kill Cole’s Dad and keep his soul and promise to release it into the great beyond if cole joins them and does what they say thus putting cole on track to line up with canon events in the plot but this time knowing his whole seduce the charmed ones plan has an ulterior motive not to murder them but rather to curry enough favor with them that they will help him free his father’s soul 👀👀

[amazingmsme]

Avenger Hazing

AN: All I’m gonna say is that with how long it took me to finally finish it, I better see some notes.

It was hard being an Avenger. It was even harder being the youngest one on the team. What with the stress of school and a normal social life topped with being a superhero, along with the secret fear that he was somehow letting everyone down, Peter had a lot on his plate. He strived to fit in both at school, and with the other Avengers. Most of the time they went out of their way to help him feel accepted, but there were definitely moments when he knew they still saw him as a child. They were never maliciously mean or anything like that, but they would tease him more than the older team members.

"This is an adult beverage. Why don't you get some juice?"

"Better not stay out too late, it's a school night."

"I'm gonna run to McDonald's. Peter, you want me to get you a happy meal?"

"Whoa, slow down on the sweets, don't want you bouncing off the walls. Literally."

"Hey, if it isn't the itsy bitsy spider!"

Peter always laughed it off. He knew they were just joking, but sometimes the comments would grate on his nerves. 

"Maybe we shouldn't watch that one. We don't want to give the kid nightmares." Peter didn't say how he had already seen the movie more times than he could count.

"In kindergarten? Wasn't that like five years ago for you?" He bit his tongue, wanting to tell Clint that he was well into his junior year of high school.

"A girl? Is she cute? You got a crush on her squirt?" Peter tried to turn his head away to hide his blush. "Look how red he is! He totally has a crush!" He just sunk deeper into the couch, burying his face behind his phone.

"Your hands are so much smaller compared to mine!" Thor too? He really couldn't catch a break.

~~~~

He went down to the lab to work with Tony. He just needed to get stuff off his mind, and experimenting always helped him relax.

"You okay bud?" Tony glanced at him from over the top of his safety glasses.

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe because that's the fifthteenth new web fluid formula you made in the 45 minutes you've been down here."

Peter sighed; he should've known he wouldn't be able to hide it from Tony. "It's just that the other Avengers have been..."

"Hazing you?"

"Yeah, that."

"I noticed. You want me to make them stop? Cause one lecture and I'll make sure they never do it again."

"No, no I can deal with it. But sometimes it feels like they only see me as a little kid, and that they forgot I fought toe to toe with them."

"Trust me, they know. They just want to forget they got their asses handed to them by a 14 year old."

"Yeheah, I guess so. I still wish they wouldn't tease me so much though."

"Have you ever teased them back?"

Peter was taken aback by the question. "What? N-no, they're the Avengers!"

"So are you."

"You know what I mean. What am I supposed to say when it's someone like Ms. Romanoff or Captain Rogers?"

"Just say the same thing you'd say if it were me."

"M-Mr. Stark?"

"Look, all I'm saying is, they're probably doing it to get a rise out of you. They want some sort of reaction. But if you're not comfortable enough yet, I completely understand. I mean hell, it took you three months to sit like a normal person when you were in my company, and another four for you to relax completely."

Peter laughed at that, and Tony smiled.

"I'm serious though. If it ever gets to be too much, you just let me know."

"Thanks Mr. Stark."

~~~~

Tony made sure to keep a closer eye on the others after that. If they picked on him more than usual or if Peter seemed too uncomfortable, he'd step in.

"Alright that's enough."

"Leave the kid be."

"Go pick on someone else."

"Stop bullying my kid."

It made Peter happy to know Tony cared for him so much. It was a relief, and having him there helped him to relax and be more like himself. He started to get more comfortable with the team, even when Tony wasn't there. They still teased him, but after his talk with Tony he didn't take their verbal jabs too personally. And some of them were pretty funny, if he was being honest.

He was sitting on the couch, finally having finished his homework. He watched as various people passed through the living room, greeting him as they walked by. He leaned back into the cushions and closed his eyes, letting all the stress from school melt away.

"Must be pretty boring in here all by yourself." Peter opened his eyes, craning his neck backwards to see Bucky walk over to the couch, trailed by Sam.

"Not really, I just finished my homework so I was taking a break."

"Man I don't miss that," Sam said, taking a seat next to him.

"Thankfully I only have one more year before I go to college." Bucky nodded thoughtfully, "Nice." He turned the tv on and started flipping through the channels, looking for something to catch his eye. He finally gave up his search, settling with Go! Diego! Go! An odd choice, to say the least. He snickered to himself, and Peter glanced at him, then at the screen, and all became clear.

"Oh ha ha, very funny. Find something else please." Bucky's eyes glinted with mischief, "Oh but I chose this just for you. I thought you'd like it."

"I used to. When I was five," he made sure to put emphasis on his words to get his point across, but Bucky just grinned.

"Wasn't that long ago then."

Peter rolled his eyes, looking down at his phone to avoid eye contact and mumbled, "At least I had colored tv when I was born."

Sam, who had been eating pretzels, started coughing, startling Peter. He patted his back, making sure he wouldn't choke, completely oblivious to the shocked expression on Bucky's face.

When he was finished almost choking, Sam said, "Ohoho mahan, that has got to be the funniest damn thing I've heard come out of your mouth."

Peter's mouth twitched into a smile, "Really? 'Cause it wasn't even that funny," he said modestly.

"It's just 'cause it was aimed at me," Bucky said, sending a playful glare at the two of them.

"It was funny Barnes, and you know it," Sam said, pointing at him with a huge grin on his face. He slung an arm around Peter's shoulder, bringing him in closer. "I'm honestly surprised you had the guts to say anything."

"W-well I wasn't really thinking. If I was I probably wouldn't have said it."

"Well I'm glad you did, cause I needed a good laugh, even if it almost killed me." Peter smiled shyly, ducking his head down. He caught a glimpse of Bucky sticking his tongue out at him, but when he shot his head up, he acted as though he were innocent.

"And you try to say that I'm childish."

"Another jab! You feeling bold today Peter?"

He shrugged, "Maybe I'm just finally starting to feel comfortable around you guys."

"And that means insulting me?"

"It means I'll retaliate if you try and tease me, like you've all been doing."

"So what you're saying is, you won't put up with our bullshit without giving us some of your own?" Sam clarified, and Peter nodded. "It's about damn time. All I kept hearing about Spider-Man was how quick and witty he was, and I was starting to think maybe they were talking about someone else."

Peter laughed, although it was a slightly nervous one. "I was worried that I'd make you guys hate me or offend you if I said anything. I guess I'm not afraid of that anymore." It was true. His walls had broken down, and he knew he didn't have to be scared of making the others hate him over something he said.

The smiles both men wore were genuine, "I'm glad Peter."

~~~~

He was a lot more bold after that. The Avengers were pleasantly surprised when he made a sly pass at Strange one morning while they were eating breakfast, and now if they tried to give him a hard time he'd shoot right back with a sassy remark of his own. The change wasn't unwelcomed.

Peter liked hanging out with the Avengers. He wasn't as nervous around them as he once was, and he found their reactions when he smarted off quite entertaining. He could see why they liked doing it to him, but he was more than happy when they eased up on their teasing. All except for Sam and Bucky of course. Those two were relentless.

He found himself on the couch in the living room yet again when two familiar faces plopped down next to him. He looked up from his phone, greeting them, "Hey guys." He was in a very heated discussion about how the giant fossilized dinosaur that was recently found was totally real and not just "fake news" and had to throw the cold hard evidence in MJ's face. He sent her the screen shot from National Geographic's website, only for her to reply, "Snopes, or it's fake." His face scrunched up in annoyance. He knew she was doing this to mess with him, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

Sam looked him up and down, taking in his seemingly sour demeanor, "Man, what's eating you? You look upset," he voiced his concerns.

Peter simply huffed out a breath, "My friend's just being annoying," he said and then grumbled to himself, "I'll show you the Snopes... Ha just like I fucking said!" The two men on the couch shared a confused glance, thinking it best to leave him be. Teenagers... They can be so weird sometimes. Peter sent the screenshot to her and smugly waited for her response.

"Fake."

He wanted to scream in frustration, but thought that if he did then she'd somehow know and get her cruel satisfaction. So instead he just took a deep breath and stared at the tv, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Damn what did they say? You look like you have a frog in your mouth!" Bucky exclaimed. That sure as hell got his attention. "What?"

"Whenever you stare into space like that you make this face that looks like you're hiding a frog in your mouth," Bucky teased with a wide grin, nudging his shoulder. Peter brushed him off with a half hearted glare, "That's just my face, and it doesn't look like that!" he cried out defensively. Sam couldn't help but laugh as he nodded, "It totally does!"

Peter rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore them, "Well then me and my frog are just gonna sit in silence," he said defiantly, turning away from them and directing all of his attention to the tv. Tony was right, they just wanted a reaction from him, just like MJ. So he wouldn't give it to them.

"Aw c'mon man, you know we're just teasing."

"..." Ah the silent treatment. Truly the pettiest of tactics. Well if Peter was going to be childish, then two could play that game. Or rather, three.

"Rrrrribbit," Bucky croaked from low in his throat. And he might've been imagining it, but he swore he saw a hint of a smile. Sam seemed to catch on and joined, "Rrribbit, ribbit!" Peter's smile was noticeable by now, but he was doing his best to hide it. Bucky gasped, "Is that a smile I see! You better watch out, you don't want Kermit to escape!"

"Shut up hobo!" he said, referring to his lazy clothes and shaggy appearance. Bucky's jaw dropped open, "You did not just say that to me! You're gonna pay!" He sensed the oncoming attack and was able to roll over the back of the couch successfully, but Bucky was quick on his tail and easily caught him a second later.

"You think you can get away with calling me a hobo?" he queried. When he shrugged Bucky hoisted him over his shoulder making him let out a small shriek. Peter looked to Sam, "Mr. Wilson hehelp!" Damnit, the kid always turned on his innocent charm when he wanted one of the team members on his side, but it wouldn't work this time.

"Sure, I'll help. What do you need me to do Buck?" Said man tossed the boy onto the couch and grabbed his wrists before he could make another run for it.

"Sit on his legs, we don't want him running off again, do we?" Sam complied and chuckled to himself, "This gives a whole new meaning to the term babysitting."

"Just because you guys are old doesn't mean I'm a baby-waitno! Mr. Barnes stoooop!" his snarky demeanor quickly melted away into panic when he saw Bucky leaning over him, a long string of spit dangling over his face before he slurped it back into his mouth with a laugh. "You're so gross."

"Watch it," he warned with a poke, noticing the slight flinch and giggle that left his lips. A sadistic grin found its way onto his face as he met eyes with Sam. "Now what was it you said about us being old?" he asked, letting his hands rest right above his underarms. Peter had a feeling he knew where this was going and squirmed, already giggling in anticipation.

"Mr. Barnes dohohohon't!"

He chose to act ignorant, as though he had no clue as to what he was about to put him through, but he knew all too well. "I'm not doing anything, why are you laughing?" he teased with a knowing grin.

"Behecause I know what you're gohonna dohoho."

Bucky tilted his head to the side quizzically, a few strands of hair falling in his face. "And what am I gonna do to you?"

Let me get one thing straight: Peter Parker is a smart kid. But this isn't one of his brightest moments. He answered quickly and without thinking, because if he had been thinking, he surely wouldn't have fallen for this trap so easily. "Tickle me." As soon as those words left his lips, Peter realized his mistake. His eyes grew wide as Bucky flashed him a wide, feral smile.

"Well since you asked so nicely."

"No wait I didn't mean ihihit!" He rushed to amend his mistake, but Bucky was already skittering his fingers in his armpits. Peter screeched and pulled at his arms, but his grasp around his wrists held strong. He could tell he was struggling to keep him pinned though.

"Damn how strong are you?" Bucky asked, switching hands to hold him down. Peter managed to worm an arm free and on reflex, shot his hand forward, flicking his wrist to web him.

Only he wasn't wearing his webshooters. He froze in fear as both men stared at him in shock. Sam had a hand covering his mouth and Bucky's gaping mouth slowly morphed into an evil grin. Peter gulped and tried to scoot back, but Sam sitting on his legs prevented him from moving too far.

"Did you seriously just try to web me?" The amusement in Bucky's voice was evident. Peter chuckled nervously, wrapping his arms around his torso for protection.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" he tried.

"Not a chance."

"Worth a shot," Peter shrugged. His nervous smile grew the closer Bucky got.

"Any last words?" Sam asked.

"Go easy on me?" That made them laugh and Bucky shook his head fondly.

"We'll see." He hovered his hands above Peter's stomach, wiggling his fingers as he inched closer. He squirmed as giggles bubbled out of his throat, much to their amusement. "Dude I'm not even touching you," he teased.

"Ihihi can stihil feel ihihit!" He tried to curl in on himself to stop the ghostly tingles, but to no avail.

"Wait so you can feel it? With your Peter tingle?" Bucky asked, continuing to hover over his stomach. Peter covered his face in embarrassment, "Dohohon't call it thahat!" he whined.

"I think I've built up enough anticipation, what d'you think Sam?" he asked for his opinion.

"I have to agree. I mean, he did call us old, and we're not getting any younger," he said, reaching forward and squeezing the kid's knee. Peter yelped out a laugh and kicked out his leg, but Sam kept him pinned as he kept squeezing, skittering a few fingers on the back of his knee. Peter threw a hand over his mouth to try and muffle the embarrassing stream of giggles, but to no avail. Bucky finally let his hands descend and they skittered all over his stomach. Peter let out a squeal, his eyes squeezing shut and nose crinkling adorably.

Bucky chuckled to himself as he walked his fingers up his ribs. "The itsy bitsy spider, crawled up the water spout," he sang the nursery rhyme slowly, each finger worming between his ribs until he reached the top. "Down came the rain and washed the spider out!" He raked his hands down his ribcage, making his shriek and thrash around on the couch. "Out came the sun and dried up all the rain," he formed his hand into a claw and vibrates it into his stomach.

Sam grinned and said the last line along with Bucky, squeezing his thighs as the other walked his fingers back up his ribs, "And the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again!"

Peter's laughter kicked up a notch as he tried uselessly to bat at the offending hands. "Plehehease, you've hahad your fuhuhun!"

Sam snorted, "Pft, yeah right, we're only just getting started."

"Yeah, you can't just stop eating after only one chip, you gotta keep going!"

Sam's brows drew together in confusion. "Seriously, that's the best you could come up with?"

"Hey I'm a little busy at the moment, so watch yourself or else you're next," he threatened playfully. Sam conceded with a chuckle.

"Okay you win."  

Meanwhile, Peter was still laughing his head off. He had given up on trying to free himself and succumbed to the torture they dished out. He threw his head back, laughing loud and free.

"You wanna take back what you said about us being old?" Bucky bargained and blinked in surprise when Peter shook his head.

"You're lihihike a huhundred years ohohold!" Bucky narrowed his eyes with a malicious smile stretching across his face.

"Wrong answer."

"Amazing. I've never seen someone already in a casket pull out a shovel and dig even deeper," Sam said in slight awe. He adjusted himself, grabbing the teen's feet in a headlock. He started kicking out and squirmed under their hold, protests flying from his mouth.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry! But I don't lie and I already knew you'd punish me more for lying I had no choice!" he tried to explain himself. His words dissipated into hiccupy laughter as Sam raked his blunt nails down the soles.

While he was thrown into hysterics, Bucky sniffed the air, "You smell that Sam? That's bullshit." Sam couldn't help but chuckle. Peter tossed his head back and forth.

"No it's not I swear!"

Bucky simply shrugged his shoulders, an unsympathetic smirk on his face, "Sure, but I don't really care." He drilled his thumbs into his hips, making him buck like a wild bull. He latched onto Bucky's wrists, not really trying to push them away, instead just needing something to ground himself.

The frantic laughter had caught the attention of  one super soldier, and he followed the echoing noise through the expansive halls. Finally landing upon the scene, he smiled to himself and leaned against the doorframe, watching as his best friends took the poor kid apart.

Sam reached up and scribbled on the backside of his knee, drawing forth a loud and embarrassing snort. Peter's hand flew up to cover his mouth while the men laughed along with him. "We're gonna have to call you Spider-Ham if you keep snorting like that!" Sam teased.

Peter blushed a deep red, "Shuhuhut uhuhup!" He squealed when Bucky's hands started to squeeze and knead his sides before letting out deep belly laughter.

"Alright I think the kid's had enough," Steve spoke up, knowing from personal experience just how cruel they could be.

Bucky stuck his lip out in a mock pout, "Aw but look at him! I could keep this up for hours!"

Peter looked at Steve, pleading, "Mihihister Rohogers hehelp!" He was his last hope.

Steve rolled his eyes, "Let him breathe Buck."

Sam came to a stop, letting go of his legs. Bucky wasn't so quick to listen.

"Let me just do one last thing. You know what it is," he sent a wink towards his best friend. Steve shook his head with pity and chuckled. He gave Peter a sympathetic yet amused look, "Good luck."

Peter paused while taking in some much needed breaths, his brows furrowing in confusion. "W-why do I need-"

He was interrupted when Bucky leaned down and blew a loud raspberry on his stomach. Peter's eyes crinkled shut as he curled in on himself, shoving at Bucky's head to try and push him off. He took in another deep breath of air before blowing, shaking his head back and forth.

"FUHUHUCK!" Peter screamed out. Bucky's facial hair made it ten thousand times worse, and raspberries where just totally unfair. Bucky pulled away a shocked expression plastered on his face. Peter flopped back on the couch, panting.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when Spider-Man said fuck," Sam said.

"And in front of Captain America no less!" Steve joined in. Peter raised his hand weakly, batting the air.

"Sorry sir."

Steve couldn't help but laugh, "You're alright kid. I know it was justified." He leaned against the back of the couch with one hand as Bucky helped Peter into a sitting position.

"You okay?" he asked. Peter nodded.

"Yeheah, my stomach just hurts from laughing. Not a bad pain though."

Sam reached over to ruffle his hair, "I'm glad to hear that."

"You guys suck though," he said, biting back a grin.

Bucky raised his brows, "Oho, bold words for someone as ticklish as you."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't attack me again. Not now anyway," he said with a shrug, having already recovered. Enhanced senses and strength, and all that.

Sam leaned back into the couch, crossing his arms and studying him. "And what makes you so sure?"

"Well, uh, cause, he won't let you," he said, pointing at Steve. Said man looked down at him quizzically, but a certain fondness clear on his face. Bucky just tilted his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh please he can't do anything, he's almost as bad as you," he said. To prove his point he reached up behind him and squeezed his hip. Steve jerked away, barking out a laugh. He was able to catch his wrist before he could do it again.

"Don't," he warned, voice commanding. Bucky held his hands up in surrender.

Steve sighed heavily, but with a smile on his face. He looked down at Peter, who still grinned from ear to ear. "I think they're gonna be the death of both of us kid." Sam and Bucky only chimed in their agreements. His smile only grew, "Good thing they're ticklish too."

"What no way!" Peter said in excitement.

"What?!"

"You're dead Rogers!"

Steve was already giggling as he ran across the room. "Make sure to go for Sam's ribs, and Bucky's thighs make him scream like a girl!" he shouted from down the corridor. Peter couldn't be happier. He finally felt like one of the team, having endured all their teasing and hazing, he was accepted. That didn't exclude him from things like this, instead only making him feel more welcomed. And like he said, whatever they dish out, he can serve right back.

[justforshitsandcackles]

funny prompts

“You’re such a fun drunk.”

“Since my dog likes you then i guess i like you.”

“Tell them to fuck off.”

“It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”

“I want to strangle you 99% of the time.”

“Could you not suck for five minutes?”

“The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Well thats tragic.”

“I’m too sober for this.”

“You are actually insane!”

“I think you’re actually satan.”

“It’s like -50 degrees in here.”

“Laugh at my jokes! They’re funny and you know it!”

“Sorry isn’t going to help when i kick your ass!”

“Don’t let one of them electrocute themselves or something.”

“Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”

“Do you find this amusing, fuck face?”

“Holy shit! That thing is huge!”

“Don’t kink shame me.”

“I hope i’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”

“I just cleaned that!”

“Don’t get sassy with me!”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

“Bite me.”

“If you insist.”

“Im not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“I need you to be my fake girlfriend/boyfriend.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am..to cuddle?”

“If we get caught i’m blaming you.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring..i-i was looking at something behind you!”

“I locked the keys in the car.”

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“Define normal.”

“Do i get bonus points if i act like i care?”

“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and i don’t speak english.”

“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

“And you wonder why you’re single.”

“Remind me to kill you. Please.”

“I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

“She’s crazy. and just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, theres a crazy underground garage.”

“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”

“My middle finger salutes you.”

“I don’t think i could ever stab someone. I mean, lets be honest, i can barely get the straw in the capri sun.”

“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how i feel.”

“Somebodys cranky.”

“Somebody needs to shut up.” 

“All due respect but thats a bunch of crap.”

“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

“What did i tell you about calling him/her the devil?”

“That it’s offensive to the devil?”

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“If history repeats itself, i am so getting a dinosaur.”

“You seem somewhat familiar. have i threatened you before?”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

“Do i regret it? Yes. Would i do it again? Probably.”

“You’re going to burn in a very special level in hell. A level they reserve for child molesters, animal abusers, and people who talk at the theater.”

“I’m not a damsel in distress. i’m a damsel doing damage.”

“Sometimes i question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

“Why should we date?”

“Because we’re attracted to each other.”

“I am attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Why does everyone assume the worst of me.”

“It saves time.”

“You’ve successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

“Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

“Wow somebody needs a happy meal.”

“I didn’t do it!”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“You couldn’t handle me even if i came with instructions.”

“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

“I’m so glad you could come.”

“Cut the crap. give me a drink.”

“Where have you been all my life?”

“Hiding from you.”

“I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but...no.”

“If you pull out my earphones, i will pull out your lungs.”

“Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. thats cute.”

“I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

“My ex? Yeah id still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or a baseball bat.”

“Such big evil in such a little thing.”

“For the love of fuck.”

“Yep, thats me. i love to fuck.”

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. let me grab my machete.”

“We’re going to sephora. no machetes needed.”

Clears throat seriously, “Yas bitch.”

“No road trip is complete without the snacks. So go in there and buy everything you can fit in a tiny cart.”

“I’m all for making you miserable by being insufferable, but unfortunately i have things to do today.”

“Come on, you can help me make conspiracy theories. If you make an especially good one, ill pay for dinner.”

“You know what? Why not? I haven’t ruined my life yet this week. Lets go.”

“Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how i am doing?”

“If i didn’t know you better, id say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“What are you talking about? Im hilarious!”

“Duct tape? Duct tape is not going to fix this!”

“What did you think? That you were going to fight him?”

“You’re blocking the view.”

“I am the view.”

“Why are you on the floor?”

“Tying my shoe.”

“You’re wearing rain-boots.”

“Cant stop me from slaying!”

“Close your eyes and imagine it, all the dogs in the world.”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“Would you reconsider if i was sober?”

“Stop running i’m wearing flip flops!”

“Why are you holding your boobs?”

“I wouldn’t call it stalking, more like far distance admiring.”

“You need to stop making her laugh! you’re ruining her makeup!”

“I’m sure i can get some kind of sexual gratification from just staring at him if i try hard enough.”

“I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not.”

“I’m either in the mood for french fries or to rip someone’s head off. Hmmm. decisions, decisions.”

“If you’re not out of the shower in the next five minutes, i’m going to cut your fucking hair off to make your life quicker.”

“No, i will not dress up as a chicken.”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I need a date to my relatives wedding, and i’ve already asked literally everyone else i know, so i know you probably hate me, but please say yes. Otherwise they’ll try to set me up with someone, and they have awful taste.”

“One more sound and i swear to-”

“Sometimes when (name) texts me, i just pretend they didn’t so i don’t have to respond.”

“You gave our pigeon boyfriend the wrong beans!”

“If i’m like 50 and still single, ill marry you because tax benefits.”

“Please, never have children.”

“I know its like 11pm, but i’m on my way to your house with nacho fries.”

“Sometimes i wish i was gay so i wouldn’t have to deal with all these dumbass boys.

“You know, would’ve been nice if you told me your whole ass family was coming to this dinner! I look like a troll.”

“Im going to the party to pet the dog, no thanks drugs.”

“I hope in college i get some excuse to deck him. Maybe with a bottle or something, ill wing it and be like “oops, sorry shithead, my hand slipped.”

“What is this shit...i’m just trying to graduate.”

“Ooo, i sense attitude in your tone.”

“Guess who only got two hours of sleep? Me, lol, i’m gonna die.“

“I’m gonna strangle you.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?”

“Superheroes aren’t allowed in my house, especially after they’ve destroyed my living room. go away.”

“oh you’re coming. even if i have to drag you through the snow in your pajamas.”

“i swear you’re gonna end up getting like botox in your tits or something.”

“well i mean-”

“whAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

Once again, these are loosely categorized as funny.

admin Charlie💕

[table-top-romulan-playing-games]

Movies I have seen so far in 2018

A few of these arent new movies, just ones ive watched for the first time in 2018. I felt like doing this cuz I really love watching movies and felt that it might be a good version of those "good things" jars, but instead it's movies I saw. Some reviews are short, mostly cuz I didnt really have much in the way of opinions, but I did have something to say.

Just incase you havent seen them. I have tried to keep them spoiler free, but if you dont want even vague non spoiler spoilers, the list of movies is as follows; 

The Grand Budapest; The greatest showman; Jumanji: out of the jungle, King Arthur: legend of the sword, The Black Panther, Shape of water, Thor Ragnarok, the Emoji Movie, the Good Dinosaur, Jurassic world, Incredibles 2, Hotel Transylvania 3, Ant-man, A Wrinkle in Time, Lara croft: tomb raider, Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2, Spider-man homecoming, Ant-Man and the Wasp, Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged), Captain America civil war, Avengers Infinty War, Deadpool 2016, King Arthur the one with kiera knightly, Deadpool 2, The Nutcracker, four realms, Venom, Love, Simon, Ready player one, Aquaman, Solo, a star wars story, Ghost stories (2018), Wreck it Ralph, Ralph breaks the internet, Goosebumps 2, Hidden figures, The meg, Pacific Rim, Pacific rim uprising, Wrath of the Titans, Mission impossible: fallout,Oceans 8, The Breadwinner, Mune, Operation Finale, The House With A Clock In Its Walls, Bad times at the El Royale, Outlaw king, Gnome alone, Journey to the center of the earth, Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy, Vvitch, Ex machina, To all the boys ive loved before, Extraordinary Tales, The Golden Compass, Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil, Dragon heart, The black klansman, Robin Hood 2018, The Princess of Thieves, First Man, Bohemian Rhapsody, What we do in the Shadows, Overlord, For the Love of Spock, Next Gen, Small Foot, The Spy who Dumped Me, The Nun, Kin, Crazy Rich Asians, Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse, A simple favor, Predator 2018, Rampage, 47 meters down, 2036 Origin Unknown, 2001 A Space Oddessey, The Martian

The grand Budapest hotel - good, great visuals. I enjoyed it.

The greatest showman - wonderful music, actual circus parts were good, the rest was boring. Its really short, and I felt it focused to much on the drama in pt barnums life, too much focus on a silly fuax love triangle, not enough on the acts themselves. I went in hoping to see the acts interact and actually be presented as the forefront. The beginning showed this magnificent scene with the acts, with this wonderful musical number that made me tear up. But then, it was just about Barnum and his kids being boring most of the time. The songs and musical scenes though? Absolutely wonderful, magnificent, stunning, and entertaining. Zendayas and Zac efrons characters duets? Beautiful, I loved the song and choreography. I just feel like the emphasis should have been on the circus itself. Hugh jackman. Needs. To. Do. More. Musicals.

Jumanji: out of the jungle - hilarious omg I laughed my ass off!

King Arthur: legend of the sword: wtf was this movie bro? I mean. I have a new song in my cars playlist, but wtf.

The Black Panther - IT WAS SO COOL! I loved the visuals and the storyline. Shuri is my favorite genius and I can’t wait for more Black Panther

Shape of water: absolutely beautiful omg

Thor Ragnarok: you mean that was the actual movie, that tumblr wasn’t just fuckin with me, like, those were real ass scenes that were filmed?

the Emoji Movie: bad, forgettable, literally did not remember watching it till a friend asked me.

the Good Dinosaur: literally a children's movie, idek why I watched it tbh

Jurassic world: THE HUBRIS OF MAN! THE INDO RAPTOR! BLUE! They made... An indoraptor. Not just any raptor, oh no, that's not enough for the hubris of man, its an indoraptor. What's an indoraptor you may ask? Well it's when you mix a raptor, with the indominous rex DNA. But Cotie, didn't the indominous rex already have raptor DNA? Wasnt that the whole thing that it was a t-rex with raptor DNA? Yes, yes it was. But this one is different, it's smaller, it's smarter, it made to obey commands like a war machine, it's the I N D O R A P T O R! So it's just a super powered velociraptor? Yes, yes it is. So what makes it special? THE HUBRIS BEHIND IT!

Incredibles 2: awesome! I loved it! Those flashing scenes really were no joke though. I don't have epilepsy, but damn those scenes were hard to look at. But I absolutely love the fact that edna babysat jack jack for a night, and gave him a super babysuit. I hope we get to see more of the other superheroes helping out the incredibles!

Hotel Transylvania 3: it was a good movie. Its the only Adam Sandler movie series I can stand, but it was a decent movie. I like the introduction of the van helsing family, and the whole premise. Plus I love the message that its possible to fall in love again.

Ant-man: "in like the Flynn" niiiiiiiiice Tangled ref! "ANT-THONY!!!!" Ok that was a fun and hilarious movie. I fucking love the three wombats, especially Luis omg. Also I love Scott lang relationship with his daughter and that he was the driving force behind his motivation. Also not gonna lie, I kinda watched this one so I could go see Ant-man and the Wasp, but I liked this one too.

A Wrinkle in Time: FUCK ITUNES NOT WANTING TO WORK DURING THIS MOVIE! ok but Chris Pine as a Dad? Awesome. "Happy anniversary, if only you'd dissapear too" wow, these high school preps are viscous. Also I love the little kid calling out grown ups for being pieces of shits. Also this movie was adorable and heart felt and I loved the mix of fantasy and science that made it a science fantasy movie omg.

Lara croft: tomb raider: ok but the girl who kicked Lara crofts butt in the beginning has me gay as Fuck man. "OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" OK calm down Nicolas cage.

Guardians of the Galaxy volume 2: omg that was indeed another real marvel movie I had just seen. I can't believe the stooges are a space family that just, does stupid things. I love them all. 

We gonna start some parralels; a wrinkle in time - a movie about two siblings trying to find their dad who has been lost for 4 years. They get him back through the power of love; Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - a daughter finds some adverturing stuff to lead her to her father who had been missing for 7 years. Tries to get him back by killing men. Doesn't, and then kills more men; Gaurdians of the Galaxy volume 2: a boy finds his father after 34 years, but turns out he is a huge fucking jerk, also finds that Mary poppins was his dad after all, but then both Mary poppins and jerk dad died, with varying degrees of mourning from Boy.

Spider-man homecoming: omg so many second hand embarrassment scenes but it was so good! I laughed my ass off at the ending omg tony no. But also, that awkward moment when ur dates dad threatens your life and he actually meant it...

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Dude. Duuuuuuude that end credit scene. Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude. That movie was just as hilarious as the first ant-man movie omg! It was fun and incredibal and I'm so happy the 3 combats were there. I was losing my shit over the baba yaga stuff!

Avengers age of ultron (semi live blogged): god, I'm 9 minutes in and I hate this movie... 13 minutes in an ur telling me this could've been avoided if marvel hadnt turned two Romani (from what I remember of mutant canon) characters into, not only human expirements instead of mutants, but voluntary hydra agents. -sighhhh-... 20 minutes in and why, why Tony, just... Tell the team, why do we gotta have lazy 'i dont wanna communicate' writing bullshit...Jarrrrrviiiiissssss my boy T.T... Did they really just try to make dissimising female characters and using their achievements as a sort of 'my horse is bigger than yours' as quality character writing? God this Bruce/Nat romance is so forced... Oh no, Ultron fucking appeared, why does he sound like a bad Tony stark impression? Ultron is fucking annoying... Fuck man, the plot with the twins have arrived, and I hate it... -mentions Wakanda- thanks for reminding of a better movie I could be watching... God, the acting is either way too dry, or way too ham... Wow... Clint is... The most mature person in the movie... Wow, the scene where Nat reveals she is infertile, is worse than I thought it would be, and I knew it would be awful... Hour and a half in, still bad... Though ultron is now acting like a c h i l d... Oh no, now we creating Ultron 2.0 this time its Jarvis... Please discuss it with the team, pleeeease... Annnnnnnd U didn't... Fuck... I'm so tired, 1 hour and 31 minutes and the team is fighting... Thor coming in for the jarvis Saaaave! Yassss vision with the worthy of the hammer! Okay the battle scene with ultron was pretty cool. Still dont like the movie over all.

Captain America civil war: not as much fighting as advertised. Too much 'we arent going to sit down and communicate' trope. Honestly I was too bored and tired to really actually pay attention to closely... All I got from it is the russos need to learn what a get along shirt is and be better film makers.

Avengers Infinty War: wtf, what the fuck, was that. That was some fuck right there. You are telling me thanos was really able to get the soul stone like That? And the mind stone like That? And all that other bull shit? Y'all Russo better be ready to have thanos ass kick in the next avengers movie. But damn that was some shit that happened.

Deadpool 2016: I loved every bit of the movie omg, it was everything I hoped for out of a deadpool movie.

King Arthur the one with kiera knightly: That uh, sure was a King Arthur movie? Way less weird than King Arthur Legend of the sword. Merlin didnt cast magic, and arthur was a Roman, but guinevere is a kick ass archer, soooo acceptable...

Deadpool 2: THAT WAS FUCKIN HILARIOUS I LOVE DEADPOOL SO MUCH! god I love this movie, I would die for dominoe.

The Nutcracker, four realms: such a cute af movie omggggggggggggg. I loved Captain Phillip the nutcracker soldier and the gold highlight they put on his lips 💓

Venom: listen. I did no t see this film for quality. I saw it for the symbi ote ok. Ok. I lov it. But blease for the love of god.... Y.... Did...... The......... Symbiote........ Take the shape of a sexy comic book lady..... When........ The same sexyness could have been achieved by letting the symbiote be big beefy orc like lady....

Love, Simon: I'm not one for these films... I dont like these films... They are teary eyed wholesome cake frosting that make my cold gay heart sick... That being said... I relate, I relate so much... Also... If I was in simons shoes and the blackmailing weasle Martin outed me? They would still be scraping him off the pavement... That is all.

Ready player one: it wasn’t as bad as some of the things i heard about it on tumblr, but its not one I will watch again.

Aquaman: "show off, heh, I could've just pee'd on it" is the exact quality line I want out of my films. Also that was soooooooo awesome! I loved it! More Aquaman!

Solo, a star wars story: Not bad, but not great, it kept on plot really well, not memorable but I won’t knock it. I still say the actor playing Han Solo looks photoshopped and not real.

Ghost stories (2018): awful... It was slow and boring, and I didnt like it... I rented it through itunes and it glitched part of the way through and I stopped being able to see the picture. Even after I got it working again I still didnt like it... Though I did like the message of "dont be a bystander", but the whole this was boriiiiiinnnnnnnggggggggggg.

Wreck it Ralph: okay, technically I caught the beginning like 4 or 5 years ago, but I finally actually watched it and it wasnt bad. Will go see the sequel.

Ralph breaks the internet: WAYYYYYY better than the emoji movie, also, I really loved the princesses scene, the bright colors, and following Venelope through the internet... Also.... Ralph........ WTF..................... Also............................. that Stan Lee cameo.................................... Heartbreaking............

Goosebumps 2: Mr. Chu and his Halloween obsession is me... Stones appearence had me dying omg... Also where tf r ppl getting these awesome super cool Halloween stuffs!

Hidden figures: IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING! omg such a great movie i fucking loved it. Couldnt understand a WORD of math that went on, but damn girls, calculate that shit.

The meg: listen... Listen... The trailer looked stupid... And ridiculous... I just... Wanted to know how bad... And it was bad... But it was incredibally enjoyable omg... I loved it... In all seriousness, it was actually a pretty beautiful movie when it came to marine life and the wonder behind it, and it was anti shark culling for fins, and it was very clearly "not all sharks are bad, they do as they do, but megalodon is about to fuck our shit up."... It was also fucking hilarious... My favorite character was meiying, the little 8 year old in the movie... The love plot wasnt forced and they way they did it the two leads were not having it and had actual chemistry... Just... Also the dog... The dog does not die... Pippin lives... The wedding is not ruined... Also the shark ate a billionaire soooooooo... We good meg... We good...

Pacific Rim: yes I know, I took a long ass time to watch this movie... But Listen... Explody robots and monsters... Hannibal chau... Look... I just... Sometimes take a long time to watch movies... You wanna know how long it took me to watch Merlin BBC? I watched every episode as it came out and then put off the last episode for 5 years... Listen...

Pacific rim uprising: ok I watched the first one so I could watch the one with my boi John Boyega in it.

Wrath of the Titans: wtf kind of movie... Like really what the f... Since when is zues ever responsible and wise.

Mission impossible, fallout: I liked it. It's an action movie. Saw it for my birthday, kinda interested in the other mission impossible movies now. I appreciate the advance tech and the obviously stupid impossible shit.

Oceans 8: Listen, i have never been interested in the Oceans franchise, i dont want to see crusty men steal things, but lads, im gay. Extremely gay, just, shamelessly gay.

The Breadwinner: holy shit that was a good movie.

Secret of the Kells: eh, it was a good movie. Not my favorite, but it was good. I mostly just like the animation.

Mune: Guardian of the Moon: dat was a cute movie, and also i loved Munes Design, he is a little fawn

Operation Finale: Wow, that was an amazing film, absolutely superb. Not at all like the trailers. Seriously, what is it and trailers where everything has to either be an high stakes action movie or a romantic comedy? but this film, spectacular.

The House With A Clock In Its Walls: A Neat little movie. Corny, but i liked it. like, its a kids movie in the same way A Wrinkle In Time is, but this one was little less disney-fied in the way that they needed to have this overarching lesson of empowerment, and more “this is a kids movie to enjoy, like Halloweentown”

Bad times at the El Royale: neat movie, somewhat engaging, kept losing focus at the slow parts... Liked the Chapter title cards... Can't remember who that "important person" was supposed to be.... I think I may have missed it...

Outlaw king: I liked it! Way better than Braveheart! Also.... Cpine was not that naked.... Butt....

Gnome alone: weird, didn't like it, like a bad combo of Mean Girls and Coraline?

Journey to the center of the earth: I said old movies were gonna be on this list now didnt I? Also this movie was awesome and I wish the book was real too.

Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy: Nice!!! I had been meaning to read the book before I watched the movie, but I've packed my book away soooo, MOVIE. Also out of all thw sci fi movies that have destroyed planets, this is by far the only good one.

Vvitch: it was okay... By the middle I was kinda wishing it would go faster. But it was okay.

Ex machina: I'm not done with the movie yet but it's so fucking creepy holy shit... Also "its kinda non-autistic" in relation to "aware of her own mind and mine"???? Wtffffffff.uggggghhhhhhhhhh ewwwweeweeewewweeeewwwwwww the talk about giving the robot a sexuality is so grooooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss he gave her a working vag and hearing him talk about fucking the robot was baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Mmmmmmmm no, did not like.

To all the boys ive loved before: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Also that sibling relationship was..... Relatable.

Extraordinary Tales: tales based on Edgar Allen Poe and holy sweet Jesus I loved it, it has multiple different art styles per story and I loved them soooooo much!

The Golden Compass: okay but how could you end on that cliffhanger and not at least put out another movie????

Erramentari, the blacksmith and the devil: based on Basque folklore which I know nothing of, but it looked neat. It's also originally in basque but netflix has the English dub over. AND HOLY SWEET JESUS I KNOW THIS MOVIE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY BUT THE VOICE OVERS ARE SO FUCKING FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Dragon heart: I didnt like it, there were better movies I could have seen, I'm not gonna reach for this one again...

The Black Klansman: Damn, I might very well be speechless. That was a Fantastic Movie, came at you like a bag of Bricks, and the ending when it went straight from a cross burning to the 2017 neo nazi rallies, to trumps “good people on both sides” speech, to everything that happened in 2017. The movie did NOT fuck around with anything. God Bless.

Robin Hood, 2018: Antifa film of the YEAR! Yeah Robin, Be a Class Traitor to the ruling class, Spread Wealth, Down with the 1%!

The Princess of Thieves: OMG Kiera Knightly as the daughter of robin and also a kick ass archer that causes trouble!!!! Loved it!

First Man: dude that movie was incredible, it read like you were seeing snapshots of his life, not completely invested, but as though you were a spirit looking at memories. I kinda liked it. I loved the silent scenes that filled the viewer with anxiety, like a realization of the gravity of what was happening. Omg. Good film A+

Bohemian Rhapsody: OMG I LOVED IT SO MUCH OMGOMGOMGOMG MY QUEER HEART IS RESTORED AND THEY SAID BISEXUAL!!!!!

What we do in the Shadows: that was an enjoyable movie. I didn't quite like the reality show format but it was funny!

Overlord: That was a great movie! it had decently fast pacing, which is good that it was only an hour and forty-eight minutes long... They Plot-Ex-Machina’d alot of the movie, like the wounded soldier feeling fine for the main firefight, then remembering he was supposed to be wounded all of a sudden. I watched it with a friend who saw one character, turned to me and said “He’s cute, i hope he doesnt die” one (1) second before a landmine went off. Also, Ghouls created by science rather by supernatural means.

For the Love of Spock: -cries like a big baby-

Next Gen: screams of anti-tech ideals... Also.... Damn...... They are channeling the "addiction to iPhones" angle man, like, villianous angle...

Small Foot: Not bad, At least it was a Short movie, or at least it didnt feel like it was dragging on. The Songs were great though, I actually liked them and at least they were written for the movie and not like, a song that already existed...

The Spy who Dumped Me: I rented it through iTunes and it gave some Ukrainian nuts swangin in my face...

The Nun: it was okay, but let maurice theirult be a lesson; u see some creepy haunted shit, you grab a cross and you walk away. You dont go back to play hero, cuz then you get possessed.

Kin: there is a line in the movie that says "you got a decade of bad decisions under your belt" and I feel like that sums of this movies plot points...

Crazy Rich Asians: that was so gooooood! I don't normally go for romcoms, but ppl had been praising the film, and I actually liked it. I'm glad I saw the majong scene explain before I actually watched the scene, because it felt a shit ton more powerful.

Spider-Man, Into the Spiderverse: AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! the animation was TOP NOTCH, like, omg!

A simple favor: I didnt like it... It tried to be both a thriller and what seemed like a parody of a thriller.

Predator, 2018: I kinda liked it, it was a mindless action movie, and the ending left it open for a badass sequal. I havent seen the other predator movies so I have no idea if this is in faith for the series, but im guessing yes.

The Martian: It was cool and chill, I liked it, also Mark Watney cussing out a government agency via a hundred thousand dollar communications outlet is.... Mood.

47 meters down: 2hrs of one woman having an absolute panic attack and being right to worry about sketchy diving boats.

2036 Origin Unknown: kinda what I feel like 2001 a space Oddessey wouldve been like if I had actually watched that movie... Oh shit the Borg!

2001 A Space Oddessey: Have I ever told y'all that I dont like Kubrick or his movies? His movies are the epitome of that pretentious art school boi style that just does too much and tries to pretend it's more than it is and sweet merciful god why is this one 2 and a half hours long! I'm 40 minutes in and I have a head ache from the over ise of classical music and boring slow pace of the movie. 2001 a space Oddessey is 2 and a half hours long and only has 1 hr of actual relevant film... The other 1 1/2 is just unending, weirdly colored space shots, two color inversion shots of planets and eyes, theremin and flute noises, and classical music set to nothingness

RAMPAGE: a 30ft alligator showed up about an hour and 10minutes into the movie and the first reaction was "well that sucks" and it killed me on sight. The movie is awesome! In am so glad I picked this as my last movie of 2018.

[purrincess-chat]

All’s Fair in Love and Superheroes CH1

It’s here! The request fic I was talking about. This fic will include the rest of the requests people have made (except for the ones I’m doing for cheklmn in Ladybug and Bumblecat and then one more that didn’t quite fit), and each chapter will be dedicated to the person who requested the prompt. This first chapter goes to @maitredesnavires for day 9: Lucky Charm! A reminder that these chapters aren’t going in order by day, but by how I’m telling the story, so some earlier days may come later in the story. Don’t worry, I’ll get to everyone! Also leaving my ko-fi link at the bottom, but just a reminder that tips aren’t necessary just if you wanna c:

Read on AO3

Chapter 1: Lucky Charm

“Okay, so let’s review,” Alya said, pacing the floor of Marinette’s bedroom with her hands clasped behind her back. “Where are you two going to meet?”

“The park,” Marinette recited smoothly with a determined nod.

“Good, and what time?” She continued without breaking stride.

“7 o’clock.”

“And where are you going?” Alya stopped in front of the chair where Marinette sat and cocked a brow.

“For a romantic walk along the Seine then for ice cream at Andre’s as soon as we determine his location,” She finished, and Alya patted her head proudly.

“You’ve got the details down now let’s work on your delivery,” She said, pulling Marinette to her feet and picking up a framed photo off the desk. “I’ll be Adrien, and you just try to form complete sentences. Remember your details!”

“Complete sentences. Details. Right, got it,” Marinette said, closing her fists and taking a deep breath. “Um, hello, Adrien.”

Alya cleared her throat, holding the picture in front of her face, and dropped her voice into a lower register. “Hey, Marinette, what’s up?”

“I was just wondering if maybe you’d like to go out with me tomorrow evening around say- 7ish? We can meet in the park and take a walk along the Seine if you want,” She said, swaying back and forth nervously and tugging on her blazer.

Alya lowered the picture in her hand and pursed her lips as Marinette’s shoulders curled.

“That bad?”

“No.” Alya shook her head, tapping her chin. “It’s just very stiff and rehearsed. You should loosen up and be a little bit more flirtatious.”

“Right, yeah, there’s just one little problem with that: I don’t know how to flirt!” Marinette said, pressing her palms to her cheeks with a pout.

“Well, then it’s a good thing you’ve got me here to teach you,” Alya said with a smirk, brushing Marinette’s nose with her finger. “Guys like Adrien tend to like stronger women, so you have to be confident. Considering how you usually act around him, this will be a noticeable change for him, and it might just shock him enough to say yes.”

“Do you really think I can pull off confident around him?” Marinette asked, chewing her nails, and Alya slapped her hand down, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“I think that you are more than capable if you put your mind to it, M. Adrien already thinks you’re amazing as a friend, so all you have to do is show him how amazing you can be as more than a friend.” She winked encouragingly, and Marinette bit back a shy smile, tugging on one of her pigtails.

“More than friends with Adrien,” She sighed dreamily, slipping into a fantasy realm where Adrien was a prince locked in a tower, and she was a noble knight come to rescue him, but before she could drift too far, Alya snapped her fingers to bring her back down to earth.

“Alright, flirting 101, first you have to capture his attention. Since we go to the same school, and he sits in front of you in class, it should be easy enough to strike up a conversation with him. Then you want to make eye contact and smile. It lets him know you’re interested,” Alya instructed, lifting Marinette’s chin to meet her gaze head-on and pushing the corners of her lips up. “Next you’ll want to pay him a compliment. Boys love being complimented, but just don’t go overboard with it.”

She gave Marinette a stern look who in turn offered a sheepish grin and guilty titter.

“Don’t be afraid to get a little close to him, maybe lightly touch his arm,” Alya continued, demonstrating as she spoke. “Keep it casual but intimate. You want to catch his attention but not scare him, so don’t seem too eager.”

“This is all too much. I’m never going to be able to pull it off,” Marinette said with a groan, leaning her head back.

“Yes you will. Lesser women than you do it all the time. Just look at Chloe,” Alya chuckled, placing her hands on her shoulders. “You can do this, girl, and you’re gonna sweep him off his feet.”

Marinette smiled at the sentiment, stepping forward to pull Alya into a tight hug. They squeezed each other tightly for a moment before Alya pushed away with a confident grin.

“Okay, let’s take it from the top.”

- - - - - -

The following day at school Marinette dissolved into a bundle of nerves, pacing the floor in front of her locker in a ceaseless loop while she chewed her nails. Adrien’s fencing lesson would be over in 12 minutes, and her anxiety tripled with each passing second. The air felt too stagnant and stifling, her cheeks flush and hot; she was certain that she’d pass out at any moment, but anytime she sat down her legs became too restless so her march resumed.

“Chillax, girl. You can do this,” Alya said with an encouraging smile from where she leaned against her locker with her arms folded over her chest.

“But what if I mess up?” She asked, wiping her hands on her pants.

“Well, he’s pretty used to your normal mix-ups, so just keep going. Try to remember what we rehearsed and just be yourself. He’s pretty fond of her, ya know.” Alya stepped in to stop her, taking her hands and giving them a gentle squeeze. “Just think about all of the double dates we can go on when he totally falls for you and what colors you want at your wedding.”

“Alya!” Marinette squeaked, burying her face in her friend’s chest while Alya cackled and patted her back.

“I’m kidding. Mostly.” She rolled her eyes. “Now get out there and take his breath away.”

Alya slapped Marinette’s arm, nudging her toward the door, and Marinette took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching her fists as she peeked out into the courtyard. Adrien was texting on his phone outside the locker room alone. It was now or never.

Straightening her spine, she stepped out into the courtyard, approaching him swiftly while her confidence lasted, but her bravado met a brick wall when Nino exited the locker room and captured Adrien’s attention. Marinette felt her stomach solidify into a heavy rock, and in an instant, she turned and dashed back to the locker rooms where Alya waited expectantly just inside the door.

“No way, girl. Get back out there!” She scolded, cocking a hip to the side and pointing.

“I can’t do it! Nino is with him,” Marinette said, crouching into a ball and hugging her knees to her chest.

“Wha-” Alya peeked out the door, a groan rumbling in her chest. “I’ll handle that, just be ready to swoop in.”

“Okay,” Marinette said softly as Alya rushed out.

She leaned her head back against the lockers, retrieving the lucky charm Adrien had given her for her birthday, the matching token of their friendship, and trailing her fingers along the beads before jumping up and racing quickly to the bathroom. Flicking on the faucet, she splashed cold water on her face and leaned against the sink. How was it that she could save the entire city from deranged supervillains with ease, but when it came to asking a boy out, she completely shut down? If only she could channel Ladybug then maybe she could get two sentences out around him without foaming at the mouth…

She straightened up, the lightbulb going off in her head, and she clicked open her purse to find Tikki enjoying her afternoon snack. Her kwami paused her meal, setting the cookie aside and floating out with a curious expression.

“Tikki, I think I need a little confidence boost,” She said, clasping her hands together in front of her chest pleadingly.

“Okay…You can do it, Marinette! Just be honest, and everything will-” Marinette cut her off with a shake of her head.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but that’s not exactly what I had in mind,” She said, placing her hands on her hips as Tikki tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Just…transform me!”

Marinette blinked as her suit manifested over her clothes, and Ladybug turned back to the mirror, releasing a breath through her nose. She squared her shoulders and shook her wrists out to relieve the tension she held in her fists. Adrien was her friend, a good friend even, and he’d more than likely say yes. After all, he was always complimenting her and smiling at her, so that had to count for something, right?

“Okay, Marinette. You can do this. You save Paris every day; you can ask a boy out on a date. Just be confident and flirtatious.” She said, staring at her reflection. “What would Chat Noir do? ‘Hey there, prince charming, that riposte out there was purr-fect, wanna go out?’ Ugh, no, that’s lame.”

She ran a hand through her bangs, pacing back and forth a few times before stopping in front of the mirror once more and pressing her lips into a determined line. Alright, no more hiding. It was time to finally make a move, and she wasn’t going to back down this time. She was Lady-fricking-bug; she’d fought dinosaurs and crazy pigeon men, so no way was she about to chicken out! Adrien was the nicest boy on the planet, always so honest and gentle and smart and about to say yes to her date!

Squaring her shoulders, she marched out of the bathroom confidently, holding her head high all the way up to where Adrien stood by the entrance to the school. He looked up from his phone, eyebrows raising in surprise as she stopped in front of him and locked her gaze with his.

“I saw you practicing today. You’re an incredible fencer,” She said with a smile, and his spine stiffened in shock.

“Wha-Oh, um, you- thank you!” He stammered, and she cocked a hip to one side, tilting her chin just-so to look up at him through hooded eyes.

“So, you wanna go out tomorrow?” She asked, and he faltered, cheeks darkening three shades of red as he struggled to sputter out a response.

“Whoa, it’s Ladybug!” Kim shouted in awe, and she instantly felt a dozen pair of eyes train on her back.

Glancing down at her torso, she realized that she’d forgotten to change back in the bathroom which meant that she’d just asked her crush out. As Ladybug. In an instant, her face paled, confidence hopping a plane to the Caribbean and leaving her stranded in a sea of people vying for her attention.

“Ladybug!”

“No way, Ladybug’s at our school!”

“Is there an akuma nearby?”

“Um…” She glanced around nervously, eyes landing on Alya who, of course, was recording the whole thing.

“Ladybug! Can I get an interview for my blog?” Her friend asked, and she grimaced, flicking her gaze across different faces as panic swelled in her gut.

“Yes!” She jumped at the sound of Adrien’s reply, turning back to face his timid smile. “I’d love to go out with you, Ladybug.”

“Oh, perfect, uh, I’ll give you the details later,” She said, backing toward the front door as the crowd erupted into a cacophony of questions. “Bug out!”

With a flick of her wrist, she tossed her yoyo and shot off, barely paying attention to where she was going. She just needed to be anywhere but there, and after a few minutes of fleeing, she finally touched down on a roof and collapsed with her back against a wall.

How could she have been so careless? Why did Adrien have to short circuit any amount of awareness in her brain? And why did he have to say yes? Leaning her head back with a whine, she bemoaned her rotten luck.

Ladybug had a date with Adrien Agreste.

Buy me a ko-fi?

[blankdblank]

Tempted to do another prompt request

Don’t know why, just curious if anyone wanted to request some prompts. Got a compilation of lists i’ve seen on here before I glance through randomly sometimes for ideas for my other rambles and series.

Mostly do 

Hobbit/LotR - Modern au/regular

Marvel - Mostly Loki w/ others thrown in

Celebs - Richard Armitage, Lee Pace w/ Hobbit cast thrown in, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland w/ various Marvel actors thrown in

You can add in scenarios or random items or locations if you like too.

It can also be y/n style if you want, otherwise i’ll probably use a variant of my usual oc to put it all together. :D

Prompt List

1 “Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2 “Can I buy you a drink?”

5 “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

6 “No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

7 “Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8 “This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9 “I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

10 “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

11 “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12 “Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13 “I am way too sober for this.”

14 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15 “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

16 “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

17 “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

18 “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

19 “Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

20 “You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

21 “Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

22 “I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

23 “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

24 “I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

25 “You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

26 “I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

27 “I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

29 “You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

30 “Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

31 “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.” 

32 “Define normal.” 

33 “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?” 

34 “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.” 

35 “And you wonder why you’re still single.” 

36 “Remind me to kill you. Please.” 

37 “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.” 

38 “Were you dropped on your head?” 

39 “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.” 

40 “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.” 

41 “My middle finger salutes you.” 

42 “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.” 

43 “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.” 

44 “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.” 

45 “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” 

46 “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.” 

47 “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.” 

48 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” 

49 “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 

50 “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.” 

51 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.” 

52 “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?” 

53 “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!” 

54 “I need therapy after this.” 

55 “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.” 

56 “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.” 

57 “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.” 

58 “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.” 

59 “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 

60 “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.” 

61 “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.” 

62 “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.” 

63 “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.” 

64 “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!” 

65 “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.” 

66 “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!” 

67 “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.” 

68 “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.” 

69 “She’s hot, but she’s evil.” 

70 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” 

71 “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.” 

72 “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.” 

73 “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.” 

74 “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.” 

75 “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.” 

76 “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.” 

77 “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.” 

78 “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.” 

79 “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.” 

80 “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.” 

81 “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.” 

82 “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.” 

83 “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.” 

84 “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.” 

85 “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.” 

86 “I like you. You’re different.” 

87 “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.” 

88 “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.” 

89 “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.” 

90 “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.” 

91 “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.” 

92 “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.” 

93 “I care so little, I almost passed out.” 

94 “Well behaved woman rarely make history.” 

95 “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.” 

96 “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.” 

97 “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.” 

98 “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.” 

99 “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.” 

100 “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.” 

101 “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.” 

102 “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.” 

103 “Have fun being a big deal.” “I will.” 

104 “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.” 

105 “It’s called thinking. Go with it.” 

106 “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.” 

107 “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.” 

108 “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.” 

109 “The girl is strange no question.” 

110 “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.” 

111 “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.” 

112 “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.” 

113 “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

114 “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.” 

115 “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.” 

116 “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

117 “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.” 

118 “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.” 

120 “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?” 

121 “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.” 

122 “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.” 

123 “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.” 

124 “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.” 

125 “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.” 

126 “Such big evil in such a little thing.” 

127 “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?” 

128 “What does not kill you will likely try again.” 

129 “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.” 

130 “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.” 

131 “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.” 

132 “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.” 

133 “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

134 “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.” 

135 “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.” 

136 “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.” 

137 “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

138 “If you touch my food, I’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

139 “I found this cat. It doesn’t matter how exactly I found it, but we’re keeping it.”

140 “When I was a child, I wanted to be a fire hydrant because I wanted to help people. Well, it was a real let down when my mother told me that being an inanimate object wasn’t a valid option.”

141 “There’s not a single day in my life when I haven’t been thoroughly humiliated and it’s too late to change now.”

142 “Unfortunately, my tears of joy and tears of sadness are not so easy to tell apart.”

143 “Sex dream? About you? Nah…it was about, uh, my uncle!”

144 “How did I break my leg? Well, it’s a long story.”

145 “The punch was out of love. For myself.”

146 “I can 100 percent fall down those stairs without getting hurt.”

147 “You act like I’ve never been lost in a foreign country before.”

148 “I always knew I’d be digging my own grave, I just never expected it would be digging a literal grave.”

149 “I did not eat the cookies. I’ve never even seen a cookie in my life.”

150 “Closets are my mortal enemy. And snakes.”

151 “I am wearing your clothes but not for the reason you think I am.”

152 “I’m trapped under the bed again.” “What do you mean ‘again’?”

153 “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to eat that.”

154 “I’m no longer permitted to enter the city zoo because I ‘allegedly’ don’t understand boundaries.”

155 “I didn’t eat your chocolate bar–Oh, I have chocolate on my face? In that case, it attacked me.”

156 “They told me not to take that selfie in the emergency room but now I have a great profile pic for Halloween!”

157 “I’m not saying I’d fight a child, I’m merely saying my legs are longer, my arms are stronger, and my brain is superior.”

158 “I’ve never been to Japan until today, but I have no idea how I got here.”

159 “We rock, paper, scissors-ed it and I played fire. I won in principle, but lost in morality.”

160 “Trains are fun until you’re fighting the conductor.”

161 “The first time I saw the ocean I cried, but that’s mostly because I was choking on seawater.”

162 “There is no sign in the library that says no birds so how was I to know.”

163 “The chokehold was out of love. Why can’t you see that?”

164 “I know the police.” “What? You know all the police?” “Well, it’s more like they know me.”

165 “I thought I could do parkour, nay, believed but my faith is weak and my body weaker.”

166 “I only got stuck in a baby swing once. The other two times I managed to get myself out before the fire department arrived.”

167 “Elbows and knees. That’s the fight club motto.” “No, it’s really not.”

168 “I don’t get lost. I take the long way.”

169 “There’s a snake in my boot. No, I’m serious. Why is there a snake in my boot?”

170 “My doctor told me chocolate syrup is not an actual beverage. The more you know, huh?”

171 “I don’t fall in love. I faceplant.”

172 “If you try to high five a police officer, they will taze you.”

173 “I can do the splits but not on purpose.”

174 “I am the ruler of pigeons now. I didn’t know I was even a candidate, but here we are.”

175 “To be fair, I’m surprised I didn’t break more fingers.”

176 “Who knew bear traps were that common?”

177 “I will run away with you.”  

178 “I am never coming back.”

179 “I forget time and space when I’m with you.”  

180 “I don’t belong in your universe.”  

181 “I’m dynamite ready to explode.”  

182 “I don’t know where you’ve gone. It’s like you aren’t here anymore.”  

183 “We are in this together – for better or for worse, do you hear me? I’m not giving up that easily.”  

184 “You don’t even have to hold me, and I still feel safe with you.”  

187 “Everything you think I need isn’t what I need. What I need is you.”  

188 “I always come back to you.”  

189 “You have to keep fighting.”  

191 “I’m begging you. Please.”

192 “I need you to let me all the way in.”  

193 “This was all just a game to you… wasn’t it?”  

194 “I will give you heaven and I will give you hell.”

195 “Please, be gentle with me. I’ll break if you aren’t careful enough.” 

196 “I promise I’ll be tender.” 

197 “I can assure you that you are safe here… with me.”

198 “It is my duty to take care of you, so stop forcing me away.”

199 “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.” 

200 “Take it – I don’t care. Take it all!”

201 “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

202 “You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.” 

203 “Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me.” 

204 “I don’t even remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep. I’m hallucinating things, I can’t focus for more than five minutes… I’m going crazy.”

205 “You were always beside me.”

206 “What happened to us? To you? I miss it.” 

207 “There is no good in goodbye.”

208 “Say it again.” 

209 “You look happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the reason for it.” 

210 “Sometimes we get hurt and we just have to find a way to overcome it, and sometimes… sometimes it’s not enough to heal the wounds.” 

211 “You’ll understand. You have to.” 

212 “You lit a fire in my veins ever since the first time we held hands.” 

213 “Don’t stop.”

215 “I don’t care! I don’t!”

216 “There are times I can drink the pain away, but this time it’s become impossible.” 

217 “This pain… it’s still fresh. Give me time.” 

218 “Your memory will burn like a fire.”

219 “It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading and I can’t stop it.” 

220 “I won’t ever forget you.” 

221 “I think I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if I can ever come back from this.” 

222 “I prefer being alone.”

223 “To see you smile, I would do anything.” 

224 “If you’re reading this then that means… that means I didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

225 “Fuck, I wish I could give you one more kiss, to feel your warmth, to see you smile… I miss you so much.” 

226 “Don’t go too far, alright? I wanna be able to catch up to you, just give me time.” 

227 “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

228 “You stood up for me.” 

229 “You keep giving me excuses, what’s your problem?”

230 “Always be kind.” 

231 “You’re so warm.” 

232 “Oh my god! That was so not funny. These are fake tears, and that was sarcasm.” 

233 “Damn damn diggity damn.”

234 “Daddy.”

235 “Run me over with your car.” 

236 “Ew. Emotions.” 

237 “I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh?” 

238 “Stab me. No, seriously. Stab me.” 

239 “That’s so stupid. Please, do it again.”

240 “But I’m not her.”

241 “I need you to see yourself as I do.” 

242 “Breathe.” 

243 “What are you running from? Why are you so scared?” 

244 “Let’s do something spontaneous!”

245 “I can still feel every little kiss you pressed to my cheek.” 

246 “I need to be closer to you.” 

247 “It’s feels like I’m suffocating.” 

248 “This will be the last time you lie to me.”

249 “You know it’s not like that.”

250 “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

251 “You’re never going to be the same after this.”

252 “I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

253 “I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

254 “You never loved me, did you?”

255 “It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

256 “I hope you’re happy.”

257 “If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

258 “What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

259 “Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

260 “You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

261 “I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

262 “This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

263 “I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

264 “When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

265 “You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

266 “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

267 “I hope you got what you wanted.”

268 “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

269 “When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

270 “Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

271 “If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

272 “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

273 “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

274 “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

275 “There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

276 “Your mind must be a horrible place.”

277 “You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

278 “How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

279 “I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

280 “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

281 “Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

282 “Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

283 “You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

284 “Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

285 “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

286 “I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

287 “If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

288 “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

289 “I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

290 “Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

291 “You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

292 “I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

293 “Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

294 “We should probably stop talking forever.”

295 “If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

296 “To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

297 “You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

298 “This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

299 “I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

300 “I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

301 “Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

302 “Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

303 “I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

304 “Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”

305 “You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

306 “I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

307 “Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

308 “This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

309 “You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

310 “Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

311 “Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

312 “Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

313 “You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

314 “My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

315 “You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

316 “Evil doesn’t come close.”

317 “Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

318 “I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

319 “Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

320 “You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

321 “No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

322 “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

323 “This is always how it ends.”

324 “Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

325 “Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

326 “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

327 “You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

328 “I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

329 “Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

330 “She drowned and he lost his mind.”

321 “We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

332 “You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

333 “Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

334 “You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

335 “Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

336 “Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

337 “I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

338 “Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

339 “Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

340 “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

341 “Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

342 “After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

343 “What made you think I cared for you?”

344 “It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

345 “Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

346 “Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

347 “Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

  Already requested – but still requestable

3 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4 “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

28 “Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

119 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.” 

185 “Be with me.”  

186 “I’m vulnerable around you, and it only gets worse when you smile.” 

190 “I’m surrendering myself to you; body and soul. What more do you want?”  

214 “Please, just… touch me.” 

348 “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

349 “Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

350 “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

351 “Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

352 “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

353 “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

354 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

355 “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

356 “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

357 “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

358 “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

359 “It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

360 “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

361 “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

362 “I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

363 “What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

364 “I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

365 “How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

366 “We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

367 “Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

368 “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

369 “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

370 “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

371 “I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

372 “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

373 “Why are they afraid of you?”

374 “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

375 “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

376 “Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

377 “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

378 “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

379 “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

380 “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

381 “I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

382 “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.” 

383 “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.” 

384 “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.” 

385 “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.” 

386 “If I survive, can I go home?” 

387 “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?” 

388 “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.” 

389 “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.” 

390 “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.” 

391 “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.” 

392 “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.” 

[thecraftgremlin]

In A Little Pickle (A Metalocalypse Fanfic)

I don't always write fanfic, but when I do it... um... I don't know how to end that. There's basically no Pickles and his nephew content, so I decided to give the fandom what it probably didn't need but has anyway now. The story basically just came to me as a series of scenes and eventually I just decided to write those scenes, string them together, and say screw the rest.

Also on Ao3

Nathan found Pickles sitting at the kitchen table of Mordhaus, glaring at a brightly colored card in his hands like it had stolen the last bottle of vodka on the planet. He would have just grabbed the bag of chips he was after and left the drummer to… whatever it was he was doing, if Pickles hadn’t spoken up.

“He’s pure evil, Nathan.”

“Uhhh… who?” Nathan was only half paying attention, carefully considering the weighty decision of barbeque versus salt and vinegar flavor.

“Seth,” Pickles spat with the venom he reserved for his family.

Having ultimately decided on both flavors for his snack, Nathan wondered what Pickles’ asshole brother had to do with a card covered with multicolored balloons and confetti. His questions were soon answered as Pickles stood from his seat at the table, pacing and waving the card in the air.

“I thought I knew how low that motherfucker could sink! But no, this time he can’t just try to worm his way into my life and bleed me dry like he always does. Now he’s getting his fuckin’ kid in on the act!” He punctuated the rant by slapping the card down on the table. Now invested in the drama, Nathan picked the offending paper up, squinting at the text without the aid of his glasses. The outside cheerfully announced “You’re Invited!,” a handwritten note inside that somehow felt slimy for Nathan to read.

Pickles,

Little Davey’s turning 5 next week, and he says he wants his Uncle Pickles to come to his birthday party more than anything. I know you’re busy being a big hotshot rock star and shit, but you better not disappoint my little man. Party’s at my place on the 17that noon. Make sure to get him something good.

-Seth

It was times like these that made Nathan glad to be an only child with no obligations like these to deal with.

“Couldn’t you just… Not go?” Nathan offered sagely. It seemed like the easiest solution to the problem, and he wasn’t particularly interested in thinking too hard about helping Pickles with his family crap.

“And give that douchebag more reasons to think I owe him something? No,” Pickles slumped back into his seat at the table, “I gotta go to my nephew’s birthday party.”

“I still don’ts gets why you wanteds me to helps you picks out a borthsday present?”

Pickles looked Toki dead in the eyes; picturing his collections of stuffed animals and the model airplanes that hung from his bedroom ceiling, the pastel fleece pajamas he wore when he watched cartoons in the living room eating the sugariest cereals his diabetes would allow. Pickles smiled and put a hand on his shoulder.

“’Cause you’re a good pal.”

Toki seemed to buy it, a wide smile breaking out on his face.

“Aww, t’anks Pickle!”

From the moment they entered the toy store, Pickles already felt overwhelmed by the sea of plastic and plush. He hoped he could keep Toki focused for long enough for them to find something suitable for a five year old. He let Toki lead the way, the two musicians wandering the brightly colored aisles. Pickles immediately vetoed anything clown related Toki tried to suggest. Only people who had childhoods as fucked up as Toki’s actually liked clowns, and Pickles hoped to the metal gods that Seth wasn’t that much of a piece of shit to his kid. They examined toy weapons construction sets and science kits, debated the merits of ninjas versus pirates versus superheroes. Finally, Pickles’ attention was caught by a flash of metallic green. He picked up a hefty box proudly showing off a robotic dinosaur and remote control inside. It was expensive enough that Seth couldn’t call him a cheapskate over it, and he couldn’t see any of those small parts that were bad for little kids for some reason.

“Hey, what about this one?” He held the box up to Toki for approval.

“Oh, cools! Ja, dat’s a good ones! Everybody likes de dinosaurs, rights?”

That was certainly true. Even as Pickles’ interests had turned to rock n’ roll and illicit substances as a kid, he still remembered having a healthy appreciation for a good old t-rex or stegosaurus. As they left with his present and several items for Toki, as they had agreed, Pickles felt a little better about the whole party ordeal. Maybe he could actually do this.

He couldn’t do this.

Pickles was baking in the Australian heat, his only source of respite his cup of what used to be fruit punch, now replaced completely with whiskey from his hip flask. His father glared at him from across the yard every time he pulled it out, but Pickles was beyond caring at that point. He supposed he was lucky to have avoided his mom for as long as he did, but she had him cornered and was on her usual lecture of how Seth was so responsible and such a good father and what was Pickles doing with his life, still playing around with that band of his. In the background, Amber chatted with other equally disinterested looking moms, a handful of rowdy kids wrestled in the dirt while their dads, the greasy lowlife types that always seemed to flock around Pickle’s brother, made shady deals amongst themselves. Sitting at the table piled with presents and a plain looking blue and white sheet cake was little David, playing a handheld video game, having long given up on trying to play with the other kids. Pickles felt bad that he had initially assumed the kid was in on Seth’s manipulative bullshit. He had thought his nephew would be a little hellspawn, like his brother had been as a child. Instead Pickles only saw a lonely little boy, trying to enjoy a crappy birthday party. Pickles felt like he was being suffocated under all this heat and judgment, but he had decided when he saw David that he wouldn’t let his family get to him, even as they weighed him down with their usual complaints. He was surprised when his relief came from Seth.

“Alright, time for presents!”

As David unwrapped generic sports equipment and t-shirts for year old movies, Pickles started to feel better about his presence at the party. At least he had gotten a good present for the kid. At least they couldn’t give him shit about that. Pickles felt himself stand a little taller as Seth pulled out his present.

“This one’s from your Uncle Pickles. Should be a good one, he’s really rich,” Seth said, directed completely at Pickles. David unwrapped his toy and Pickles swore he saw a sparkle in the boy’s eyes for the first time that afternoon. His growing pride was soon squashed by a mutter from his brother.

“Guy’s got all the money in the fuckin’ world and only gets the kid one present.”

Of course.

“I can’t believe you, Pickles,” his mother said from behind him.

Of. Fucking. Course.

“You don’t visit your nephew even once since he was born, and now you think you can just buy your way into his life with some expensive toy?” Molly had wormed her way in front of Pickles, “You make me sick.”

That was it. He couldn’t take this anymore.

“God, there’s nothing I can do right for you people, is there?”

It was then that the birthday boy burst into tears and ran into the house, leaving his brand new robot dinosaur half-opened on the table.

“Look what you’ve done now, Pickles!”

Pickles had stomped into Seth's kitchen in search of more booze, but instead he stumbled on his nephew curled into a tiny sniffling ball under the table. He kneeled down to the boy’s level and tried to speak as gently as possible.

“Hey, buddy. You doin’ ok?”

David minutely shook his head. Dumb question.

“Mind if I sit next to you?”

The boy shrugged. Pickles squashed himself into the little space, for once thankful for his short stature. He had no idea what to do now. He didn’t even know how to comfort a grown adult, much less a little kid.

“Hey, um. I’m sorry if you didn’t like your present. I can, uh, buy you something else if that helps?”

“No, I like it.” David’s voice was small and quiet. Pickles realized that this was the first time he had actually talked to his nephew, beyond the awkward greeting they’d shared earlier that day.

“So, uh, something else up then?”

The little boy was silent for a moment.

“The party was so boring. Daddy didn’t invite my friends, just those mean kids from my class and their weird dads. And then everybody started yelling and-“ He whimpered and curled in on himself tighter. Pickles took a chance and put a hand on the boy’s back, rubbing gently.

“Yeah. Doesn’t sound like a very fun birthday. I’m sorry.”

“I thought it would be fun with you here.”

Pickles was taken aback by that. He had assumed that Seth had been lying about David wanting him there.

“You really wanted me to come?”

The boy looked up at Pickles with watery eyes, his expression serious as a five year old’s could be.

“You’re so cool! You’re a rock star and you’re my uncle! But-but you don’t like me…”

“No, no, no!” Pickles interjected quickly. God, he was the worst uncle in the world. “I do like you! It’s just… Our family… They aren’t the nicest people to be around. But you’re not like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you’re cool. Rock stars can always tell when somebody’s cool.”

Pickles saw that little bit of sparkle return to his nephew’s eyes. He wondered if there was a way he could keep it there.

“Hey, I got an idea. Tomorrow, would you wanna spend the day hanging around with your Uncle Pickles and his band?”

“No, nope, nuh-uh. No way we’re spending the day hanging around with some little kid.” Was what the members of Dethklok said five minutes before meeting Pickles’ nephew David. Five minutes aftermeeting him, the band was dead set on giving the kid the best, most metal post-birthday a boy could ask for. The six stormed arcades, ice cream parlors, even a petting zoo (partly with the logic that Australian petting zoos are more brutal because everything in Australia can kill you, partly with insistence from Toki.) One by one, the band’s uncaring brutal facades began to crack under the innocent wonder of a small child.

Nathan spent a good portion of the day with David perched on his shoulders, the two intently discussing the brutality of various dinosaurs.

Skwisgaar ate up the enraptured way the boy watched him play, which led to the guitarist pulling out increasingly more complicated techniques to keep his attention.

Murderface and Toki delighted in crafting elaborate and violent stories for the monster finger puppets and tiny parachuters David had won at the arcade.

By the time they were on the Dethcopter heading for Seth’s place, the band was seriously discussing the merits of adopting/kidnapping/buying him from his parents, before they realized there was actual work involved in having the kid around and promptly gave up on that idea. David left the chopper with his uncle to a chorus of suspiciously un-brutal sounding goodbyes. Just before reaching the front door, the little boy abruptly turned and threw his arms around Pickles’ waist.

“Thanks Uncle Pickles.”

“No problem buddy,” Pickles replied, awkwardly returning the hug as best as he could.

“Can you come visit again?”

He knew he should say no. Seeing David again meant dealing with Seth, and Pickles didn’t know if he could deal with seeing that greedy douche’s face on a regular basis. But with those big eyes staring up at him from that sweet freckled face…

“Of course, any time kiddo.”

Seth opened the door to let his son in, immediately questioning him on what kinds of things he’d managed to make his uncle pay for. Just before the door closed, David looked back at Pickles with a smile and held up his hand in the classic devil horns.

Yeah. Pickles could deal with Seth for this kid.

[andreagilroy]

Running With Runaways

It is hard to find a comic created in the past twenty years that I love as viscerally and purely as Brian K. Vaughan and Adrian Alphona’s initial run on Runaways. I don’t talk about it a lot, and in some sense that’s because I love it so much. It gives me pure joy. It was thus with great trepidation and some excitement I took the announcement of a Runaways TV adaptation. On the one hand, it’s a great property for such treatment. It’s funny, irreverent, and starts a Breakfast Club-like cast of likeable and superpowered teenagers in sun-soaked LA rebelling from their parents but doing it for moral, good reasons. There’s drama and romance, and BKV’s dialogue is, as always, really great. Oh, and there’s a dinosaur thrown in for good measure.

On the other hand, it’s a property that has suffered in the hands of other teams. Even Joss Whedon, who is known for writing teens with snarky dialogue, managed to mangle his run on the book (frankly, I don’t think he’s particularly good at writing for comics, but that’s another issue). Only Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka’s brand new run has come close to the intangible magic produced by those initial 24 issues.

My initial reaction to the TV show was very mixed. I try to be open to the problems and opportunities afforded by adaptation between media, but…why weren’t they running away? Why were we spending so much time with the parents? Ariela Barer was great, but I was miffed that Gert wasn’t properly chubby. This is...

However, upon returning from the holidays, Shaun and I binged through the final three episodes last night, and I’ve been thinking about what makes the TV show different from the comic, as well as considering how the story the TV show is trying to tell serves the medium of television in a way the story the comic told served the medium of comics.

The comic version of Runaways is a pure, distilled concept: when you are a teenager, at some point or another you feel like your parents are the worst. What if you found out they actually were? Because Runaways takes place within the superhero genre, BKV was allowed to play with the broadest strokes of our understandings of morality—superheroes and supervillains. The parents in Pride aren’t just annoying or bad or difficult to understand, they are supervillains. This clever turn means the act of teenage rebellion, something relatively quintessential about growing up, changes from a universal experience into a moral imperative.

BKV gets a lot of praise for his writing, and rightly so. If you don’t know the name off hand you probably recognize some of his most famous creator-owned series: Ex Machina, Y the Last Man, Paper Girls, or a little book called Saga that everyone seems to like a lot. People tend to focus on his thoughtful characterization and his snappy dialogue and inventive plots. All of those things are true, and it’s one of the reasons he’s probably the closest thing the USA has to producing an answer to Alan Moore or Neil Gaiman. But the real key to why he’s one of our greatest comics writers—and why I compare him the Big Guy himself without being facetious or feeling that I’m really going too far afield—is the BKV really understands, loves, and knows that to do with genre. (I could go into a big rant about how Watchmen only works as a critique of superhero comics because the book and Moore love superhero comics so goddamn much…but I won’t. Not here.)

BKV understands that logic, morality, and consequences mean something different in a comic book superhero world; and that we respond to tales told in a comic book superhero world in a certain way. The seeming purity of the moral conscious of a superhero world is so simple and easy compared to the mental and emotional messiness of growing up. Thus the fantasy of Runaways for teen readers is as much becoming a superhero and being right (especially at the expense of your parents) as it is being in a world in which there is the moral and emotional clarity of a superhero’s mission.

The trick is, the moment the teens form their superhero group and become a superhero team, they discover the fantasy world is, in fact, endlessly complicated—probably even more complicated than their lives were before. Actual superheroes want to return them to their parents, or don’t trust them to be able to fend for themselves. (Molly especially learns to never meet her heroes.) Doing the right thing feels wrong, and doing the wrong thing feels right, or at least would be so much easier. Then there’s the pesky fact that they eventually learn why their parents did what they did. It’s still wrong, but are they willing to live with the consequences of what it means to do the right thing? If they don’t or can’t, how does that make them any different from their parents?

As they series goes on, the themes inevitably change—some of the characters have to become parents themselves (surrogate, to Molly, who is much younger in the comics), to form a new family and discover what that means on their own. They have to decide whether to submit to or defy well-meaning authority that they disagree with, not just actually evil super-villain parents. They have to learn, again and again, what it means to deal with the consequences of their decisions—especially poignant in that their rebellion was the consequence of their parents’ decisions.

Adrian Alphona’s art is also a huge part in the success of this run. His art is stripped down, with simple lines—a little scratchy at times, which is a nice counterpoint to the hyper-clean studio finish of many superhero books—but also cartoony and expressive. Like the early parts of the story, it is pure cartooning: great depth and skill hiding beneath a simple surface.

(Okay, so the above panel is from one of Takeshi Miyazawa’s fill-in issues; but I had to include it because it’s one of my favorite gags. The previous two are Alphona’s)

So now we come to the TV show. Everything about the show is less focused, and this is what really bothered me at first. The split attention between the parents and the kids seemed like a craven marketing ploy: we don’t know if this show is for teens or adults, so let’s make sure there’s something that appeals to both! The show spends so much time pushing (along with the kids) back and forth about whether we like their parents. Several are set up as more sympathetic than others (the Yorkes are always the least despicable in both comics and TV); there are big reversals and reveals. Especially in the early episodes, I wanted to scream, “They’re just murderers, leave them!”

The television show is indeed a superhero story, but it is not primarily a superhero story – not in the same way the comic is. No, it is primarily a teenage melodrama. That means the primary focus is no longer the fantasy or allegory in the same way it was with the superhero comic; the primary focus shifts to the interpersonal relationships and drama. This is not, of course, to say that the comic doesn’t focus on the relationships between the characters—simply that the driving force behind the comic, especially in the early issues, is the concept. It is only once the concept is established that the relationships truly have room to grow. In the TV show, on the other hand, the concept only has room to be explored once the relationships between the characters are fully established. Even genre television demands a certain verisimilitude because it has a real world with real people speaking the words of the script. It’s harder to get away with hand-waving genre tropes in TV, even for a period of time to ultimately undermine them, because they don’t make sense when there are living people involved, not drawn figures.

This is down to both genre and medium considerations. TV, and especially melodramatic TV, is good at lots and lots of scenes with characters talking about their feelings. Comics, especially in an action- and plot-oriented genre like the superhero genre, is not quite so good at lots of long, talky scenes. Part of this is, quite simply, practical: even the best funded TV shows don’t have the SFX budget or the freedom to use superheroes willy-nilly like the Runaways comic did. But I think the show runners shifted the focus to reflect the strengths of the medium.

What the TV show loses with the purity of the original concept, it makes up for with an emotional complexity regarding the parent-child relationship that the comic never really explores. I don’t think this is a weakness of the comic—it’s not what it wants to do. The comic uses the clarity of the moral imagination of the superhero fantasy to examine the messy contradictions of growing up. The TV immediately complicates the morality on both sides, and forces us to wonder what it means to desire the superhero’s moral clarity in the “real” world. Thus the show is more directly about growing up, just with the emotional stakes ratcheted up to 11. It’s no longer just the case that you become a different person from your parents, find your own voice and beliefs, and begin to form new bonds outside of the family home--no, these kids have to make a new family caring for a younger kid and draw a line in the sand that forces them to fully confront their differences with the parents head-on. It’s not an awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversation at stake, but the fate of the world. 

Which brings us to the emphasis on the parents. For this to work, the parents can’t be one-dimensional villains, or the stakes are too low.  I don’t think the show wants us to completely forgive the parents for the murders, but it does want us to think about what might push otherwise good people, and even good parents (in the case of about 80% of them, at least), to do really terrible things. We may roll out eyes at Chase for continuing to hope his father is savable, but is it ultimately that much different than thinking the Yorkes aren’t really that bad because they clearly feel bad about what they’ve done? In the end, all of the members of Pride found something they’re willing to kill for—and it wasn’t their kids. They entered into their bargain before they had kids. Power, knowledge, freedom…even if they had good intentions for that power or knowledge—that’s what they were willing to bargain with Jonah for.

In the final handful of episodes, I think another of the show writers’ intentions with the parents became clearer: to juxtapose the made family of the kids with the made family of the parents. A major running theme of both series is that “family” is what you make of it—the Runaways really are a family. Though it might’ve been an evil alien that brought them together, Pride is a group of people who have been with each other through pretty-much everything for almost twenty years. They’re a family, too—even if they don’t like each other much any more. There are friendships and rivalries, and the way the group splinters and reforms in the face of betrayal was interesting to watch…especially in juxtaposition with the kids’. *Soft-spoiler note: if you’ve read the comics, you know that a betrayal is likely coming for the kids, too. Thus, I was particularly interested to see how Pride responded to Leslie’s reveal and attempt to re-join the group.

I have no snappy conclusion except to say that I have come, over the course of the series, to appreciate the adaptation for several reasons—perhaps the biggest of which is that, by beings the-same-but-different it helped me articulate what I thought was particularly powerful and effective about the original comic. I’ve tried to teach the original comic before, and it’s proven incredibly difficult—I think because it’s deceptively simple. I will end with another pitch for Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka’s ( @kristaferanka ) new run on the book—especially since Marvel tends to cancel books that don’t sell well. You do at least need to read BKV’s original run (#1-24), but you really should do that anyway.

I found most of the gifs on @runawaysource - they are not mine.

[babyconnectingworld]

10+ Fun Ideas for Memorable Birthday Party Alternatives

/* custom css */ .tdi_71_1e5.td-a-rec{ text-align: center; }.tdi_71_1e5 .td-element-style{ z-index: -1; }.tdi_71_1e5.td-a-rec-img{ text-align: left; }.tdi_71_1e5.td-a-rec-img img{ margin: 0 auto 0 0; }@media (max-width: 767px) { .tdi_71_1e5.td-a-rec-img { text-align: center; } } This article may include advertisements, paid product features, affiliate links and other forms of sponsorship. Every parent wants to make their child’s birthday special. In the past, this has included celebrating with family and friends. The coronavirus has put a kibosh on nearly all social gatherings limiting the options for wishing loved ones a “Happy Birthday” and leaving parents scrambling for birthday party alternatives.  Fortunately, there are a number of ways to make your child’s big day one to remember.   

Ten Birthday Activities to do at Home

There are so many fun activities to do at home as birthday party alternatives.  Who needs friends when you have your family?  Mix and match any of the following options for a day your child will always remember. Scavenger Hunt.  Whether a list of items to cross off or clues leading to hidden treasure, a scavenger hunt can be as easy or involved as you choose to make it.  Either way, you child will enjoy searching throughout your house or your neighborhood.Spa Day.  Present the birthday kiddo a menu of spa services to select from and prepare a full day of pampering.  From shoulder massages to face masks to foot baths, there are endless possibilities to do right home.Nerf War.  Cue the Nerf darts!  If your family has a plethora of Nerf artillery, replenish the Nerf darts and assign everyone a blaster of their choosing (birthday child gets first pick!). Spread out in your back yard or throughout your house…and every man or woman for themselves!Dress Up and Pretend.  Who doesn’t have fun dressing up and pretending you are someone else?  Get out costumes for the kids – and possibly formal attire for the adults – and pretend you are at a Royal Ball.  Or that you are secret spy agents assigned to save the world. Or act out your favorite movie. So many fun options!Laser Tag.  Whether you already have laser guns or order them for your child’s birthday present, team up and fan out.  And don’t let the laser get you!Capture the Flag.  Split into teams and assign areas of the house or your yard as each team’s home base. Grab two different colored washcloths/rags as each team’s flag and hide in plain sight.  When both teams are ready, attempt to capture the other team’s flag and make it back to your home base without getting tagged!Have a Princess or Superhero Call or Facetime.  Many of the companies that once dispatched your favorite princesses and superheroes are now offering one-on-one virtual visits at a fee. Give your child this surprise alone – or on a video conference with his or her friends!Water Balloon Battle.  Easy and fun for everyone, don your bathing suits, and start filling up those balloons!King or Queen for the day.  Possibly an idea for older kids, let the birthday child make all the decisions for the household for 24 hours.  Ice cream for breakfast?  Whatever your highness wishes!Overnight camping trip…in the backyard.  If you don’t have a tent, build a fort in your backyard and grab your sleeping bags. Play outdoor games and grill out. Use the grill to make s’mores! And the best part?  No need to use an outhouse when you are just in your backyard:) Read More: How to throw a birthday party on the cheap

Drive by Birthday Parties

If you live in a home that has a street conducive to traffic slowing to a stop, consider one of your birthday party alternatives a parade of family and friends.  Set a time for everyone drive by with posters and balloons for the birthday honoree.  Play some music and make it a party!  Maybe even set out a box for people to drop gifts and cards for your kiddo. Craving more one-on-one attention?  Assign each person a different time to drive by giving you time to talk and play at a safe distance.  Use your driveway or sidewalk to outline a safe distance where each child can stand and visit.  Kids are craving time with their friends and this is a great way to have quick and safe time with one another. Read more: How to photograph your child’s birthday party

Birthday Party Alternatives from a Distance

To avoid the temptation of getting too close to others, there are quite a few birthday party alternatives that involve the mail or dropping items off: Card Shower.  A week or two prior to your child’s birthday, request family and friends send multiple birthday cards in the mail.  Watch the cards pile up or surprise the birthday girl or boy on the big day with the greeting card love.Keepsake drop off.  Before the big day, deliver little ceramic fairies or dinosaurs or a trinket of your child’s choosing for each friend to decorate and place in your yard on the birthday.  Another great idea is to use stones/rocks with paint for children to personize messages giving the birthday child a rock garden of birthday wishes.Chalk messages.  Set out baggies of chalk (to keep as party favors) and invite family and friends to write birthday wishes on your driveway and sidewalk.  Maybe even put out a sign asking neighbors who walk by to add their love for your child!Yard signs and balloons.  The majority of cities have local franchises that will set up yard signs to commemorate any occasion; Card My Yard and Sign Gypsies being two of these companies.  A cheaper option includes purchasing balloons and affixing weights, placing them throughout the yard.  Read more: How to make a birthday balloon wreath

Online Birthday Party Alternatives

The internet offers a number of online meeting places to host parties of more than 10 people.  According to Business of Apps, Zoom daily downloads increased from 56k in January 2020 to 2.13 million in March 2020.  While Zoom is used predominantly for business and educational meet ups, individual users can create an account and host an online party for free.  If you prefer to use a different online option, there are a number of websites/apps that offer free accounts such as House Party, Google Hangouts, Skype Meet Now, Facetime, and many more.   Any way you look at it, the world has changed.  Daily lives along with its highs and lows has flipped itself upside down.  One thing that remains constant: the need for family and friends and celebrating those we love.  Although it looks different, your child will remember this year’s birthday as a happy milestone in his or her life and hopefully, this list of birthday party alternatives has given you some fresh ideas!   WANT TO READ MORE? Looking for Creative Kids Birthday Party Ideas check out some additional ideas here. 💖 NEWSLETTER: DAILY READS IN YOUR INBOX 💖 Sign up to receive our picks for the best things to do, see and buy so you can relax and focus on more important tasks! Let us help you be the best version of yourself you can be! GET MORE FROM DAILY MOM, PARENTS PORTALNewsletter: Daily Mom delivered to you Facebook: @DailyMomOfficial Instagram: @DailyMomOfficial | @DailyMomTravel | @BestProductsClub YouTube: @DailyMomVideos Pinterest: @DailyMomOfficial 📌 LOVE IT? PIN IT!📌 Photo Credits: Unsplash.com Read the full article

[d-and-s-are-bord-blog]

Samuel L. Jackson

from Pat Jordan article NYT: Samuel L. Jackson, who is 65, has appeared in more than 100 films since 1972, and moviegoers would be hard-pressed to find in any of his roles someone who was innocently childlike. For the first part of his film career, his characters tended to appear in scripts as Gang Member, Drug Addict, Hold-Up Man. Even after his work in “Jungle Fever” earned Jackson a best supporting actor award at the Cannes Film Festival in 1991 (an honor created for that performance) and his work as Jules Winnfield in “Pulp Fiction” three years later made him world-famous, at 46, Jackson’s roles, no matter how fleshed-out or nuanced, have been far from innocent. Still, even as Jules tossed off vulgarities and obscenities as offhandedly as he shot people, like so many benign terms of endearment, he displayed the greater part of Jackson’s success as an actor — his ability to imbue even his vilest characters, spouting the vilest words, with a touch of humor, intelligence and humanity.

Jules was the moral center of “Pulp Fiction,” Jackson told me recently, “because he carried himself like a professional.” The same can be said of Jackson as an actor. “Before Jules,” he went on, “my characters were just ‘The Negro’ who died on Page 30. Every script I read, ‘The Negro’ died on Page 30.” He thundered in character as Jules for a moment, repeating his point in saltier language, then returned to himself and said: “After Jules, I became the coolest [expletive] on the planet. Why? I have no clue. I’m not like Jules. It’s called being an actor.”

Since “Pulp Fiction,” it seems safe to argue, Jackson has been the busiest actor on the planet too. This year he has four movies — his annual average since 1994 — coming out, including “The Avengers” next month, based on the Marvel comic book. (Jackson has a nine-picture deal with Marvel Studios.) He’s been in big-budget films like “Jurassic Park”; low-budget movies like “Black Snake Moan”; blockbusters like “Star Wars” and bombs like “The Long Kiss Goodnight.” He’s been the star, played the sidekick, filled bit parts (“A Time to Kill,” “Patriot Games” and “Iron Man,” respectively). His acting has been critically acclaimed (“Jungle Fever,” “Pulp Fiction”) and panned as “lackluster” (“Twisted”). But one thing remains constant: Samuel L. Jackson works. It’s all but impossible to turn on a TV set any night of the week without happening on one of his movies (and sometimes two or three). Hence his anointment by Guinness World Records as “the highest-grossing film actor” of all time. His movies have taken in more than $7.4 billion, most of which, he pointed out, “didn’t end up in my pocket.” Maybe not, but the residuals alone earn him about $300,000 a year. “I get paid all day, every day,” he said — “which is almost too much for a sensitive artist.”

Renny Harlin, the director of “The Long Kiss Goodnight,” told me that the secret to Jackson’s success is simple: “He’s the ultimate pro. He’s on time, knows his lines, hits his mark with no drama. He makes the other actors want to rise to his professional level.” And not only do other actors love Jackson, Harlin noted, but so do moviegoers. When Jackson’s character was killed off in a version of “The Long Kiss Goodnight” that was previewed before a test audience, at least one member in the audience yelled out, “You can’t kill Sam Jackson!” Harlin said he learned his lesson. In the released version of the movie, Jackson’s character survives.

William Friedkin, who directed Jackson in “Rules of Engagement,” told me: “Sam is a director’s dream. Some actors hope to find their character during shooting. He knows his character before shooting. Sam’s old-school. I just got out of his way. I never did more than two takes with Sam.” Friedkin said that some people say Jackson works too much, but he dismissed actors who wait around for “Hamlet.” “You take what you can get,” he said, “to keep your engine tuned. An artist doesn’t burn out with age because he works too much. Working hones his craft.”

Earlier this year, before “The Mountaintop” closed, I spent several evenings at the Bernard B. Jacobs Theater. One night, I spoke to Angela Bassett, who played the motel maid. Bassett has known Jackson since she was a young intern out of Yale and he was an established theater actor on bus-and-truck tours. He called her “rack queen,” because she was always sleeping, or in the “rack.” “Yes,” she confirmed, “because he made me do all these errands for him.” Bassett didn’t think Jackson was particularly cool then — her expression suggested he was a pain instead, a demanding teacher more than the laid-back dude of popular perception — and she doesn’t think he’s particularly cool now. But then she conceded: “I suppose he might be a little cool. He does listen to that gangsta rap.” She looked up toward the ceiling. “There’s always a party going on up there.”

The secret to his Guinness record, Jackson said when we first met in his cramped third-floor dressing room at the theater, is “longevity.” But there are other reasons, too. He can cross the color line (“Twisted,” “The Red Violin” and “White Sands,” for example, were written for white characters, according to Jackson). Actors and directors like to work with him. “When I yell, ‘Cut!’ Sam becomes Sam,” Harlin told me. “He jokes around, makes a relaxing atmosphere. There’s no weirdness with Sam.” He’s known too for being an actor who’s better than his material. John Lahr of The New Yorker said “The Mountaintop” was “a mess” but described Jackson as “admirable, compelling.” He invests the bittiest of bit parts with something electric to rivet an audience’s attention. And he’ll work cheaply if the role has some personal meaning for him.

As an only child, he went to movies alone, he said, “to be taken out of my place and transported to another world.” Years later, when people questioned why he appeared in one turkey or another, he would answer, “Because it was a movie I’d seen as a kid.” One such dud, a remake of “Shaft,” was so horrible that Jackson was said to have refused to recite his lines because they were written by a white man. “Not true,” he said, when I asked about the incident. “I changed his lines so they’d sound like a black man,” he said. When the author countered that those were the words he had written, according to Jackson, “I said: ‘Yes, and you got paid for them. Now let me make you sound brilliant.’ ” Jackson had to say “the corniest line I ever heard in my life and make it believable,” he told me, and then laughed before delivering it again: “It’s my duty to please that booty.”

Why would he make a movie like that to begin with? “Because I grew up watching those blaxploitation movies. Ron O’Neal, Richard Roundtree, Jim Brown, Pam Grier. For the first time, I saw ‘The Negro’ get one over on ‘The Man.’ ” He assumed the dignified voice-over of a biblical narrator: “Once upon a time, there were these Negroes, and these Negroes could do anything they wanted to.” He went on: “But those movies were not what I was aspiring to. I wanted to be in the highest-quality films.” When quality films weren’t offered to him, he took parts in movies whose characters he had wanted to be as a boy. He is Nick Fury in “The Avengers” because “who wouldn’t want to be a superhero?” He saw John Wayne in war movies, so he signed on with Friedkin to make “Rules of Engagement.” He saw Errol Flynn as a swashbuckling buccaneer, so he took a small (albeit key) role in the last three “Star Wars” movies as a Jedi warrior with a light saber. He always wanted to be chased “by a big monster with jagged teeth,” so he did “Deep Blue Sea” with a shark and “Jurassic Park” with a dinosaur (he is eaten). When Jackson heard about a movie called “Snakes on a Plane,” he called the director, David R. Ellis, and said, “You doing a movie about snakes on a plane?” Yeah. “A plane full of poisonous snakes?” Yeah. “I’m down.” Some movies he picked because they appealed to his adult fascination with costumes or his passion for golf, which he once said allowed him to dress like a pimp and still be respectable at a country club. “I did ‘Formula 51,’ ” he said, “because I got to run around Liverpool in a kilt, with golf clubs.”

Jackson has never been ashamed of his work — “I entertained an enormous amount of people,” he said; “besides, everyone wants to be a movie star” — nor of the money that has afforded him a mansion in a gated and guarded community on a hilltop in Beverly Hills and the free time to play golf with celebrities like his buddy Donald Trump. One day, Jackson told me, Trump said to him, “My friend Bill might play with us next week, Sam.” Jackson said, “Bill who?” Trump said, “Clinton.” Jackson said, “Oh, yeah, I played with Bill last week in the Bahamas.”

He is on location as much as nine months a year — “I love being on the road,” he said — and the first thing he does in a new town is look for the black community. Sometimes people say, “You’re it.” Sometimes they direct him to black restaurants, music bars or, most important, public golf courses. He plays alone or with strangers. One day in Memphis, he joined a group of 12 black policemen who were about to tee off. One cop said: “Hey, man, you’re Samuel L. Jackson. I like your movies. Now here’s the game. We play for a little something.” Jackson smiled, recalling that game. “Before I know it, I got 16 bets with 12 guys,” he said. “I can’t be thinking, Hey, I’m Samuel L. Jackson. I gotta be thinking of those 16 bets.” (He won 10 of them.)

Jackson told me he has never had an unpleasant experience in public like a lot of actors have who go out in public with bodyguards. “I walk the streets, take the train, it’s real simple. Some actors create their own mythology.” He assumed a self-pitying voice: “Oh, I’m so famous I can’t go places, because I created this mythology that I’m so famous I can’t go places.”

Once, while working in Dublin, he had a driver who said to him, “Oh, today I now have the whole set.” Jackson said, “Whole set of what?”

“I had Mr. Freeman in my car and Mr. Washington and now the great Mr. Samuel L. Jackson,” the driver said.

Jackson likes that story because he likes being recognized. Sometimes, “to feed my ego,” he said, he’ll walk around cities looking to be recognized, sign autographs, pose for photographs. He goes to theaters where his movies are playing and sits among the audience “to see myself up there.” His “Pulp Fiction” co-star, John Travolta, told me: “Actors go see themselves be someone else because being yourself in real life is not that interesting. I don’t think I’m entertaining.” But Jackson disagreed. “John’s a genuine gentle soul. I love John to death.” Then, speaking in a falsetto, he mocked actors who say, “Oh, I can’t watch myself on screen, it’s too personal.” He dropped the falsetto and began to fulminate like Jules, in ways that can’t be reprinted here. How could anyone expect someone else to pay $12.50 to watch him on screen if he couldn’t watch himself?

What Jackson loves most about acting, though, is the process, the satisfaction of taking the job seriously. “I was raised by my grandfather, a janitor,” he said. “As a boy, I went with him to clean offices. I learned a man gets up in the morning, he goes to work.” Before shooting, Jackson reads his script a dozen times, sometimes memorizing all the other characters’ lines as well as his own. Jackson is almost pathologically meticulous about hitting his mark, picking up a prop, say, on the same word, take after take. “That’s called playing the movie game,” he said.

And he expects the same level of professionalism from his colleagues. Scarlett Johansson, who worked with Jackson on “Iron Man II” and “The Avengers,” told me he can get angry “if someone doesn’t do his job correctly — he does not suffer fools.”

When Jackson was making a filmed version of the play “The Sunset Limited,” with Tommy Lee Jones, the play’s author, Cormac McCarthy, complained about his line readings. Jackson said: “It sounds better my way. I’m not trying to make this [expletive] worse!”

Before visiting with Jackson one night, I called his wife, LaTanya Richardson, who is also an actor. I told her I had a fascinating conversation with her husband. “Of course you did,” she said. “Sam loves to talk about himself.” Richardson met Jackson in Atlanta in the ’60s when he was a student at Morehouse and she was a student at Spelman. “Sam was not part of my circle,” she said. “I was a theater snob; he loved movies.” But she said they did get him to do plays at Spelman.

She described Atlanta of those days as a mecca for African-Americans demanding racial justice. Jackson would eventually become one of those angry revolutionaries, but when Richardson first met him, she said, “I never saw anger in Sam.” After a long courtship during which they dated others, Richardson decided it was time to marry either a rich boy or a smart boy. “I married the smart boy,” she said, and they’ve been together ever since. But it hasn’t been easy. She’s passionate and outspoken, and Jackson is, in her description, “emotionally disconnected.” When she would call him on a movie set and ask him if he missed her, he’d say no. “But he’s changing,” Richardson said. “The other day I cut my hand, and he took me to the hospital. Years ago, I’d have to go by myself.” There were long absences during which “I felt abandoned,” she said. “It was easier in the earlier years when we sometimes acted together onstage.” But when their daughter, Zoe, a freelance film and TV producer, was born 30 years ago, Richardson stopped working regularly, because, she said: “We’d vowed to be an intact revolutionary black family. But it was very, very hard.” After Richardson stopped traveling a lot, she served as her husband’s acting critic. She once told him that his acting was “bloodless,” that his meticulous preparation hid the fact that “he didn’t infuse his acting with anything that grabbed you.” She told me: “I was trying to help. He said I had no filter in me.” When I asked her the secret to their 40-year relationship, she said, “Amnesia.”

Jackson was born in Washington. He saw his father twice in his lifetime. Before he turned 1, his mother took him to Chattanooga, Tenn., where his grandparents and aunt lived, and returned by herself to Washington. For the next nine years, he saw his mother sporadically. His aunt, a performing-arts teacher, put him in her school plays beginning when he was a toddler. “She was the reason I became an actor,” Jackson said. She also helped cure his debilitating stutter by taking him to a speech therapist. “It manifests itself more when I read than when I talk,” he said. “I have no idea why. Denzel stuttered. James Earl Jones stuttered. There are still days when I have my n-n-n days or r-r-r days. I try to find another word.”

He grew up in a poor black neighborhood, “but everyone had shoes and food,” he said. There were “two white houses of prostitution” in the neighborhood, and three other houses sold moonshine, and a fourth belonged to a “P.W.T. family. Poor White Trash. Their house had no running water, so they only took baths when it rained. They called me nigger boy and my grandmother Miss Nigger. It was always ‘Miss,’ as if a term of respect. When my grandfather took me to work with him, the whites there would rub my head, affectionately. I’d [expletive] look ’em in the eye to make them uncomfortable. But it was nothing to be angry about. Segregation was just a way of life.”

Jackson relates the details of his childhood without inflection, emotion, affection or resentment, as if reading from a grocery list. The black movie theater played the same movies the white theater did — except when a black actor slapped a white actress, he said, that slap “was cut out of our version.” One day he asked his mother, “Why does the black man always die in movies?” Her response: “Because the black man can’t win, he always gets killed.”

Throughout his childhood, Jackson said, he never really had to interact with white people. He went to black schools, black fairs, black theaters, black churches. “I still do,” he said. “A black church in L.A., maybe once a year. I’m solid with God.”

He grew up with the attitude that it was “me against the world,” he said. “Oh, and I was a selfish kid. When my mother made me share a piece of candy, I threw my half away. If I couldn’t eat the whole thing, I didn’t get any satisfaction out of it.” His pleasures were solitary. He listened to “Sergeant Preston of the Yukon,” “The Shadow,” “Amos ’n’ Andy” on the radio, which taught him how to tell stories in his head. Later, in his 20s, TV and movies made the biggest impact. “Shaft” and “The Mod Squad,” big Afros, cool shades and an attitude that “blacks could be black, proud and beautiful. That wasn’t what I’d been taught in school.”

Left to his own devices, Jackson learned to be content with himself, “to sit alone for hours doing nothing and not to have separation anxiety. I would see my mother maybe two times a year. She’d leave, and there was nothing I could do about it. I learned to accept it. If a person leaves me, I immediately forget them. I don’t dwell on people who leave.”

Jackson describes his college-freshman self as a “straight arrow” who was on the cheer squad and swim team and aspired to be a marine biologist. Like many students in the ’60s, he spent his time drinking, playing cards, dabbling in drugs. Then he noticed a group of older black students, who didn’t look like any other students. They had big Afros, wore black twisted braids of rope around their necks and had an aura of genuine menace about them, unlike the make-believe movie menace of his later blaxploitation heroes. At first Jackson didn’t know what they were about. “I only knew they were pretty much angry all the time,” he said. “They took studying seriously.” When Jackson and his classmates cut up in the dorms, these scary guys snapped at them: “You wanna flunk out and go to war and get killed?” Jackson asked them, “What war?” It was 1967. They said, “The war in Vietnam.” Hard as it is to believe, Jackson’s response, he said, was, “Where’s that?” They said, “Get a map and find it yourself.”

“These were serious guys, returning war vets going to school on the G.I. Bill,” he said. “They were articulate about war, racism, the C.I.A.” Jackson began to realize that once he left Morehouse, he would leave the last vestiges of that black cocoon that had protected him all his life. After Morehouse, he’d be thrown into that bigger world dominated by whites. He remembered how blacks were treated on those rare occasions when he’d stepped into the white world as a boy. He decided he, too, would get involved in the racial struggle. “I wasn’t gonna let people spit on me and go to jail,” he said. He started hanging out with those former G.I.’s, which led him to H. Rap Brown and Stokely Carmichael. “It was my ‘kill whitey’ period,” he said. “I really thought there’d be an armed struggle between blacks and whites. So we began to collect guns.”

Then one day the F.B.I. appeared at his mother’s door. They told her that if her son didn’t quit his radical lifestyle, he’d be dead within a year. So, in the summer of his junior year, he said, “she shipped me off to L.A.” He worked there as a social worker for two years, then returned to Morehouse, joined a theater program, forged a relationship with Richardson, got his degree in arts drama in 1972 and “put my politics away.” On Halloween night, in 1976, he and Richardson arrived in New York City.

During the next 15 years, Jackson performed in plays at the Public Theater, Off Broadway, Off Off Broadway, the Yale Repertory and on traveling tours, while waiting for the call to Hollywood. “I acted, made costumes, worked the lights, built the sets, everything I could do in a theater. I was making a decent living. I had a good reputation. If Hollywood never called, I could still work in the theater.”

It wasn’t a bad life with his fellow actors Denzel Washington, Laurence Fishburne, Morgan Freeman and Wesley Snipes. They went to auditions together, and if one didn’t get a part, he recommended his friends. They went to the unemployment office together, partied together, pooled their money, fed one another, spent Christmases together, appeared in plays together. Jackson did “A Soldier’s Story” with Washington and was Freeman’s understudy in “Mother Courage” at the Public. Freeman, 10 years older and wiser, told him once: “I don’t know why you’re working so hard, boy. You got it. Just don’t quit.” When I called Freeman to ask why Jackson got his call to Hollywood so late in his career, Freeman said: “He got it earlier than me. Others went to Hollywood on their own. My agent told me, ‘If they want you, they’ll call you.’ ” The Jackson he knew, Freeman said, “was not cool like Jules — Sam was earnest.”

Washington was the first of his friends to be called to Hollywood. Then Fishburne, then Snipes. Jackson “wouldn’t go unless they called me,” he said. He stayed in New York and asked his agent every day, “Did Hollywood call?” No. So he continued doing what he always did — work, try to take care of his family but also drink and do drugs — until 1990.

For years, Jackson insisted, “I was a great alcoholic and drug addict like actors of old.” He could come offstage between acts, have a drink, go back on and perform well. “That’s how we learned to do it.” In 1990 he got a part in “The Piano Lesson” at the Yale Rep that had been earmarked for Charles Dutton, who was on location filming a movie. When Dutton was available and the play moved to Broadway, he would assume the role, and Jackson would become his understudy. “I was O.K. with it,” Jackson said, “until it was time to do it.” When Dutton took over on Broadway, Jackson didn’t like it. “I rocked that play,” he said. “Charles was great, but I was better. I began smoking coke and getting crazy, then smoking crack to level out.” One night, he passed out on the kitchen floor, and the next day Richardson checked him into a rehab facility. “I threatened to leave him if he didn’t see the rehab through,” she said. “I knew I couldn’t leave this boy I admired so much. But I resented him too. I hated it when he slurred his words. A wife hates to see her husband be weak.”

“I did the 12 steps, yada, yada, yada,” Jackson said. He went through rehab, grudgingly, because “I was tired of the way I felt on drugs. My worry was, ‘Would I still be fun?’ ” He was also worried how being sober would affect his acting. He felt he was smarter, more charming, more talented when he was high. He remembered what his wife said about his acting being “bloodless.” As an addict, “I said all my lines with the right inflections, but there was nothing here,” he said, tapping his heart. “I was always watching people react to me rather than my being inside the character.”

Just before he left rehab, Jackson called his agent as he always did and asked, “Did Hollywood call?” His agent said, “As a matter of fact, they did.” Spike Lee wanted him to play the addict Gator Purify in “Jungle Fever.” Jackson said: “Why not? I already researched the part.”

It was after “Jungle Fever” that Jackson began to see scripts that no longer had him wondering “which page I was killed on.” Most of those scripts “had Denzel’s fingerprints on them, but I had no issue with that.” Some (“White Sands,” “Amos & Andrew”) led to feature roles, but most ended up with him playing Sancho Panza to a host of white stars like Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis and Geena Davis. The secret to playing these sidekicks, he said, was to approach the part “as if I was the audience member hanging out” with the star — a selfless job, but he didn’t mind. Sometimes the sidekick role was written for a white character, and Jackson played it without color; other times he played the white role as a black man. And sometimes those sidekicks were black characters, like Zeus Carver in “Die Hard: With a Vengeance,” which he was able to embellish with his electric flourishes. “Zeus Carver was the most like me of any character I ever played,” Jackson said. In an early scene, Willis is forced to stand on a street corner in Harlem wearing a racist sandwich board. A group of black men see him and approach in anger. Across the street, Zeus Carver emerges from his small shop, sees what’s about to happen and comes between the men and Willis. After he saves Willis, he berates him for being such a crazy white racist. It’s obvious that Zeus Carver is a racist, too, but it’s persona for show, worn on the outside like the pimp suits on Jackson’s blaxploitation heroes. And it’s a pose that the fundamentally fair and humane Zeus Carver is unable to sustain.

When Jackson had starring roles in two Tarantino movies, Jules in “Pulp Fiction” and Ordell Robbie in “Jackie Brown,” it did not play well with some black directors like Spike Lee and the Hughes brothers. According to Jackson, Lee told him he used too many “niggers” in “Jackie Brown.” “Spike thinks he’s got the pulse of the whole race,” Jackson said. “I think he was having this thing with Quentin.” When the Hughes brothers, who cast Jackson in “Menace II Society,” complained that white directors didn’t have the right to use black street talk in their movies, Jackson said, he asked them, “How many times I say ‘nigger’ in your film?” In Jackson’s view, “You can’t censor another artist because you say he’s the wrong race.”

Jackson also has no patience with those who put down early black actors like Hattie McDaniel, Butterfly McQueen and Stepin Fetchit, whose work reinforced demeaning racial stereotypes. “If you wanted to work in film in those days,” he said, “that’s what you did. They were proud of who they were, which gave them a nice life in the black community of Beverly Hills.” Then he told me a story he heard years ago from a gaffer about Lincoln Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry, a k a Stepin Fetchit, the first millionaire black film star, whose roles as “the laziest man in the world” have been so reviled by African-Americans that they seldom appear on TV anymore. Perry, who made 54 films between 1925 and 1976, presented certain problems on a set. The light used to illuminate the faces of white actors didn’t fare as well with black faces. So a new, smaller and more intense light was developed to illuminate black skin. One day, Perry took his place for a scene, and the director called for “the nigger light.” Perry walked off the set and refused to return until the name of that light was changed. It has been known ever since as the inky. (Until he heard this story, Jackson said, he always thought “inky” was short for “incandescent.”)

Jackson went on to ask me if I knew that at the ceremony at which Hattie McDaniel won her Oscar for “Gone With the Wind” she was seated by the door to the kitchen. “We had people who were pioneers, and I appreciate what they did for me,” he said. “They paved the way for guys like Sidney Poitier to let his dignity show through. I’m not some guy who doesn’t know who Jackie Robinson was.”

After “Pulp Fiction” made him “the coolest [expletive] on the planet,” Jackson said, “it was no burden to be cool. I just present myself as I am.” When I asked him if Tarantino was cool, he laughed. “Quentin’s a movie geek. He sucks the air out of a room until Bobby De Niro mumbles something to upstage him. Now that’s cool.” I said that a friend of mine who worked for the Coen brothers told me Jackson was cool mostly to suburban white boys. Jackson shrieked: “Then why don’t those [expletive] white-boy Coen brothers give me a job?”

Jackson went on to talk about people he considers cool. Tommy Lee Jones, because he’s authentic and smart. Scarlett Johansson, because she’s haltingly honest, always struggling to express her thoughts precisely. (“I love Sam Jackson,” Johansson told me. “We’re the Bogart and Bacall for a new age.”) Guys who don’t get ruffled in life-or-death situations, like James Bond, are cool. “Me? I’m not like that,” Jackson said. “I shoot first, then say” — he assumed a shrill, panicky voice and added an expletive — “ ‘It looked like he had a gun!’ ”

Clint Eastwood is “emphatically cool,” because he plays characters whose moral code is outside the mainstream of conventional society. Sometimes it’s cool to laugh at yourself, as John Wayne did when he got old and parodied his younger cowboy self in “True Grit.” Jackson can laugh at himself, too. When I asked him whose idea it was to dye his hair red in the film “The Negotiator,” he said: “Mine. I was feeling Aboriginal!”

When I left the theater after our last visit, it was raining outside, and I had forgotten my umbrella. I went back up to his dressing room. Jackson was still on the sofa, now thumbing his BlackBerry. I said, “Forgot my umbrella, Sam.” He did not look up. “A senior moment,” I said. Nothing. I shrugged and departed a second time, realizing that Jackson cut me out of his consciousness the moment I left him. His “emotional disconnect.” Jackson has an inability, or maybe a refusal, to show emotion easily in his life, which is curious, since he invests so much passion in the characters he plays. Maybe it’s as Travolta told me: Actors like himself and Jackson go see their own movies to see themselves invested onscreen with all those human qualities they fear they don’t possess themselves.

Pat Jordan is a contributing writer for the magazine.

Posted by yausser on 2014-12-02 06:46:25

Tagged: , Hollywood , Walk , Fame , Christoph , Waltz , Musso & Frank , Samuel , L. , Jackson , Samuel L. Jackson , Samuel Jackson

The post Samuel L. Jackson appeared first on Good Info.

[endenogatai]

The ultimate guide to gifting STEM toys: tons of ideas for little builders

The holiday season is here again, touting all sorts of kids’ toys that pledge to pack ‘STEM smarts’ in the box, not just the usual battery-based fun.

Educational playthings are nothing new, of course. But, in recent years, long time toymakers and a flurry of new market entrants have piggybacked on the popularity of smartphones and apps, building connected toys for even very young kids that seek to tap into a wider ‘learn to code’ movement which itself feeds off worries about the future employability of those lacking techie skills.

Whether the lofty educational claims being made for some of these STEM gizmos stands the test of time remains to be seen. Much of this sums to clever branding. Though there’s no doubt a lot of care and attention has gone into building this category out, you’ll also find equally eye-catching price-tags.

Whatever STEM toy you buy there’s a high chance it won’t survive the fickle attention spans of kids at rest and play. (Even as your children’s appetite to be schooled while having fun might dash your ‘engineer in training’ expectations.) Tearing impressionable eyeballs away from YouTube or mobile games might be your main parental challenge — and whether kids really need to start ‘learning to code’ aged just 4 or 5 seems questionable.

Buyers with high ‘outcome’ hopes for STEM toys should certainly go in with their eyes, rather than their wallets, wide open. The ‘STEM premium’ can be steep indeed, even as the capabilities and educational potential of the playthings themselves varies considerably.

At the cheaper end of the price spectrum, a ‘developmental toy’ might not really be so very different from a more basic or traditional building block type toy used in concert with a kid’s own imagination, for example.

While, at the premium end, there are a few devices in the market that are essentially fully fledged computers — but with a child-friendly layer applied to hand-hold and gamify STEM learning. An alternative investment in your child’s future might be to commit to advancing their learning opportunities yourself, using whatever computing devices you already have at home. (There are plenty of standalone apps offering guided coding lessons, for example. And tons and tons of open source resources.)

For a little DIY STEM learning inspiration read this wonderful childhood memoir by TechCrunch’s very own John Biggs — a self-confessed STEM toy sceptic.

It’s also worth noting that some startups in this still youthful category have already pivoted more toward selling wares direct to schools — aiming to plug learning gadgets into formal curricula, rather than risking the toys falling out of favor at home. Which does lend weight to the idea that standalone ‘play to learn’ toys don’t necessarily live up to the hype. And are getting tossed under the sofa after a few days’ use.

We certainly don’t suggest there are any shortcuts to turn kids into coders in the gift ideas presented here. It’s through proper guidance — plus the power of their imagination — that the vast majority of children learn. And of course kids are individuals, with their own ideas about what they want to do and become.

The increasingly commercialized rush towards STEM toys, with hundreds of millions of investor dollars being poured into the category, might also be a cause for parental caution. There’s a risk of barriers being thrown up to more freeform learning — if companies start pushing harder to hold onto kids’ attention in a more and more competitive market. Barriers that could end up dampening creative thinking.

At the same time (adult) consumers are becoming concerned about how much time they spend online and on screens. So pushing kids to get plugged in from a very early age might not feel like the right thing to do. Your parental priorities might be more focused on making sure they develop into well rounded human beings — by playing with other kids and/or non-digital toys that help them get to know and understand the world around them, and encourage using more of their own imagination.

But for those fixed on buying into the STEM toy craze this holiday season, we’ve compiled a list of some of the main players, presented in alphabetical order, rounding up a selection of what they’re offering for 2018, hitting a variety of price-points, product types and age ranges, to present a market overview — and with the hope that a well chosen gift might at least spark a few bright ideas…

Adafruit Kits

Product: Metro 328 Starter Pack  Price: $45 Description: Not a typical STEM toy but a starter kit from maker-focused and electronics hobbyist brand Adafruit. The kit is intended to get the user learning about electronics and Arduino microcontrollers to set them on a path to being a maker. Adafruit says the kit is designed for “everyone, even people with little or no electronics and programming experience”. Though parental supervision is a must unless you’re buying for a teenager or mature older child. Computer access is also required for programming the Arduino.

Be sure to check out Adafruit’s Young Engineers Category for a wider range of hardware hacking gift ideas too, from $10 for a Bare Conductive Paint Pen, to $25 for the Drawdio fun pack, to $35 for this Konstruktor DIY Film Camera Kit or $75 for the Snap Circuits Green kit — where budding makers can learn about renewable energy sources by building a range of solar and kinetic energy powered projects. Adafruit also sells a selection of STEM focused children’s books too, such as Python for Kids ($35) Age: Teenagers, or younger children with parental supervision

[inline-ads]

Anki

Product: Cozmo Price: $180 Description: The animation loving Anki team added a learn-to-code layer to their cute, desktop-mapping bot last year — called Cozmo Code Lab, which was delivered via free update — so the cartoonesque, programmable truck is not new on the scene for 2018 but has been gaining fresh powers over the years.

This year the company has turned its attention to adults, launching a new but almost identical-looking assistant-style bot, called Vector, that’s not really aimed at kids. That more pricey ($250) robot is slated to be getting access to its code lab in future, so it should have some DIY programming potential too. Age: 8+

Dash Robotics

Product: Kamigami Jurassic World Robot Price: ~$60 Description: Hobbyist robotics startup Dash Robotics has been collaborating with toymaker Mattel on the Kamigami line of biologically inspired robots for over a year now. The USB-charged bots arrive at kids’ homes in build-it-yourself form before coming to programmable, biomimetic life via the use of a simple, icon-based coding interface in the companion app.

The latest addition to the range is dinosaur bot series Jurassic World, currently comprised of a pair of pretty similar looking raptor dinosaurs, each with light up eyes and appropriate sound effects. Using the app kids can complete challenges to unlock new abilities and sounds. And if you have more than one dinosaur in the same house they can react to each other to make things even more lively. Age: 8+

Kano

Product: Harry Potter Coding Kit Price: $100 Description: British learn-to-code startup Kano has expanded its line this year with a co-branded, build-it-yourself wand linked to the fictional Harry Potter wizard series. The motion-sensitive e-product features a gyroscope, accelerometer, magnetometer and Bluetooth wireless so kids can use it to interact with coding content on-screen. The company offers 70-plus challenges for children to play wizard with, using wand gestures to manipulate digital content. Like many STEM toys it requires a tablet or desktop computer to work its digital magic (iOS and Android tablets are supported, as well as desktop PCs including Kano’s Computer Kit Touch, below) Age: 6+

Product: Computer Kit Touch Price: $280 Description: The latest version of Kano’s build-it-yourself Pi-powered kids’ computer. This year’s computer kit includes the familiar bright orange physical keyboard but now paired with a touchscreen. Kano reckons touch is a natural aid to the drag-and-drop, block-based learn-to-code systems it’s putting under kids’ fingertips here. Although its KanoOS Pi skin does support text-based coding too, and can run a wide range of other apps and programs — making this STEM device a fully fledged computer in its own right Age: 6-13

Lego

Product: Boost Creative Toolbox Price: $160 Description: Boost is Lego’s relatively recent foray into offering a simpler robotics and programming system aimed at younger kids vs its more sophisticated and expensive veteran Mindstorms creator platform (for 10+ year olds). The Boost Creative Toolbox is an entry point to Lego + robotics, letting kids build a range of different brick-based bots — all of which can be controlled and programmed via the companion app which offers an icon-based coding system.

Boost components can also be combined with other Lego kits to bring other not-electronic kits to life — such as its Stormbringer Ninjago Dragon kit (sold separately for $40). Ninjago + Boost means = a dragon that can walk and turn its head as if it’s about to breathe fire Age: 7-12

littleBits

Product: Avengers Hero Inventor Kit Price: $150 Description: This Disney co-branded wearable in kit form from the hardware hackers over at littleBits lets superhero-inspired kids snap together all sorts of electronic and plastic bits to make their own gauntlet from the Avengers movie franchise. The gizmo features an LED matrix panel, based on Tony Stark’s palm Repulsor Beam, they can control via companion app. There are 18 in-app activities for them to explore, assuming kids don’t just use amuse themselves acting out their Marvel superhero fantasies Age: 8+

It’s worth noting that littleBits has lots more to offer — so if bringing yet more Disney-branded merch into your home really isn’t your thing, check out its wide range of DIY electronics kits, which cater to various price points, such as this Crawly Creature Kit ($40) or an Electronic Music Inventor Kit ($100), and much more… No major movie franchises necessary

Makeblock

Product: Codey Rocky Price: $100 Description: Shenzhen-based STEM kit maker Makeblock crowdfunded this emotive, programmable bot geared towards younger kids on Kickstarter. There’s no assembly required, though the bot itself can transform into a wearable or handheld device for game playing, as Codey (the head) detaches from Rocky (the wheeled body).

Despite the young target age, the toy is packed with sophisticated tech — making use of deep learning algorithms, for example. While the company’s visual programming system, mBlock, also supports Python text coding, and allows kids to code bot movements and visual effects on the display, tapping into the 10 programmable modules on this sensor-heavy bot. Makeblock says kids can program Codey to create dot matrix animations, design games and even build AI and IoT applications, thanks to baked in support for voice, image and even face recognition… The bot has also been designed to be compatible with Lego bricks so kids can design and build physical add-ons too Age: 6+

Product: Airblock Price: $100 Description: Another programmable gizmo from Makeblock’s range. Airblock is a modular and programmable drone/hovercraft so this is a STEM device that can fly. Magnetic connectors are used for easy assembly of the soft foam pieces. Several different assembly configurations are possible. The companion app’s block-based coding interface is used for programming and controlling your Airblock creations Age: 8+

Ozobot

Product: Evo Price: $100 Description: This programmable robot has a twist as it can be controlled without a child always having to be stuck to a screen. The Evo’s sensing system can detect and respond to marks made by marker pens and stickers in the accompanying Experience Pack — so this is coding via paper plus visual cues.

There is also a digital, block-based coding interface for controlling Evo, called OzoBlockly (based on Google’s Blockly system). This has a five-level coding system to support a range of ages, from pre-readers (using just icon-based blocks), up to a ‘Master mode’ which Ozobot says includes extensive low-level control and advanced programming features Age: 9+

Pi-top

Product: Modular Laptop Price: $320 (with a Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+), $285 without Description: This snazzy 14-inch modular laptop, powered by Raspberry Pi, has a special focus on teaching coding and electronics. Slide the laptop’s keyboard forward and it reveals a built in rail for hardware hacking. Guided projects designed for kids include building a music maker and a smart robot. The laptop runs pi-top’s learn-to-code oriented OS — which supports block-based coding programs like Scratch and kid-friendly wares like Minecraft Pi edition, as well as its homebrew CEEDUniverse: A Civilization style game that bakes in visual programming puzzles to teach basic coding concepts. The pi-top also comes with a full software suite of more standard computing apps (including apps from Google and Microsoft). So this is no simple toy. Not a new model for this year — but still a compelling STEM machine Age: 8+

Robo Wunderkind

Product: Starter Kit Price: $200  Description: Programmable robotics blocks for even very young inventors. The blocks snap together and are color-coded based on function so as to minimize instruction for the target age group. Kids can program their creations to do stuff like drive, play music, detect obstacles and more via a drag-and-drop coding interface in the companion Robo Code app. Another app — Robo Live — lets them control what they’ve built in real time. The physical blocks can also support Lego-based add-ons for more imaginative designs Age: 5+

Root Robotics

Product: Root Price: $200 Description: A robot that can sense and draw, thanks to a variety of on board sensors, battery-powered kinetic energy and its central feature: A built-in pen holder. Root uses spirographs as the medium for teaching STEM as kids get to code what the bot draws. They can also create musical compositions with a scan and play mode that turns Root into a music maker. The companion app offers three levels of coding interfaces to support different learning abilities and ages. At the top end it supports programming in Swift (with Python and JavaScript slated as coming soon). An optional subscription service offers access to additional learning materials and projects to expand Root’s educational value Age: 4+

Sphero

Product: Bolt Price: $150 Description: The app-enabled robot ball maker’s latest STEM gizmo. It’s still a transparent sphere but now has an 8×8 LED matrix lodged inside to expand the programmable elements. This colorful matrix can be programmed to display words, show data in real-time and offer game design opportunities. Bolt also includes an ambient light sensor, and speed and direction sensors, giving it an additional power up over earlier models. The Sphero Edu companion app supports drawing, Scratch-style block-based and JavaScript text programming options to suit different ages Age: 8+

Tech Will Save Us

Product: Range of coding, electronics and craft kits Price: From ~$30 up to $150 Description: A delightful range of electronic toys and coding kits, hitting various age and price-points, and often making use of traditional craft materials (which of course kids love). Examples include a solar powered moisture sensor kit ($40) to alert when a pot plant needs water; electronic dough ($35); a micro:bot add-on kit ($35) that makes use of the BBC micro:bit device (sold separately); and the creative coder kit ($70), which pairs block-based coding with a wearable that lets kids see their code in action (and reacting to their actions) Age: 4+, 8+, 11+ depending on kit

UBTech Robotics

Product: JIMU Robot BuilderBots Series: Overdrive Kit Price: $120 Description: More snap-together, codable robot trucks that kids get to build and control. These can be programmed either via posing and recording, or using Ubtech’s drag-and-drop, block-based Blockly coding program. The Shenzhen-based company, which has been in the STEM game for several years, offers a range of other kits in the same Jimu kit series — such as this similarly priced UnicornBot and its classic MeeBot Kit, which can be expanded via the newer Animal Add-on Kit Age: 8+

Wonder Workshop

Product: Dot Creativity Kit  Price: $80 Description: San Francisco-based Wonder Workshop offers a kid-friendly blend of controllable robotics and DIY craft-style projects in this entry-level Dot Creativity Kit. Younger kids can play around and personalize the talkative connected device. But the startup sells a trio of chatty robots all aimed at encouraging children to get into coding. Next in line there’s Dash ($150), also for 6+ year olds. Then Cue ($200) for 11+. The startup also has a growing range of accessories to expand the bots’ (programmable) functionality — such as this Sketch Kit ($40) which adds a few arty smarts to Dash or Cue.

With Dot, younger kids play around using a suite of creative apps to control and customize their robot and tap more deeply into its capabilities, with the apps supporting a range of projects and puzzles designed to both entertain them and introduce basic coding concepts. Age: 6+

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8204425 https://ift.tt/2DqStGy via IFTTT

[theinvinciblenoob]

The holiday season is here again, touting all sorts of kids’ toys that pledge to pack ‘STEM smarts’ in the box, not just the usual battery-based fun.

Educational playthings are nothing new, of course. But, in recent years, long time toymakers and a flurry of new market entrants have piggybacked on the popularity of smartphones and apps, building connected toys for even very young kids that seek to tap into a wider ‘learn to code’ movement which itself feeds off worries about the future employability of those lacking techie skills.

Whether the lofty educational claims being made for some of these STEM gizmos stands the test of time remains to be seen. Much of this sums to clever branding. Though there’s no doubt a lot of care and attention has gone into building this category out, you’ll also find equally eye-catching price-tags.

Whatever STEM toy you buy there’s a high chance it won’t survive the fickle attention spans of kids at rest and play. (Even as your children’s appetite to be schooled while having fun might dash your ‘engineer in training’ expectations.) Tearing impressionable eyeballs away from YouTube or mobile games might be your main parental challenge — and whether kids really need to start ‘learning to code’ aged just 4 or 5 seems questionable.

Buyers with high ‘outcome’ hopes for STEM toys should certainly go in with their eyes, rather than their wallets, wide open. The ‘STEM premium’ can be steep indeed, even as the capabilities and educational potential of the playthings themselves varies considerably.

At the cheaper end of the price spectrum, a ‘developmental toy’ might not really be so very different from a more basic or traditional building block type toy used in concert with a kid’s own imagination, for example.

While, at the premium end, there are a few devices in the market that are essentially fully fledged computers — but with a child-friendly layer applied to hand-hold and gamify STEM learning. An alternative investment in your child’s future might be to commit to advancing their learning opportunities yourself, using whatever computing devices you already have at home. (There are plenty of standalone apps offering guided coding lessons, for example. And tons and tons of open source resources.)

For a little DIY STEM learning inspiration read this wonderful childhood memoir by TechCrunch’s very own John Biggs — a self-confessed STEM toy sceptic.

It’s also worth noting that some startups in this still youthful category have already pivoted more toward selling wares direct to schools — aiming to plug learning gadgets into formal curricula, rather than risking the toys falling out of favor at home. Which does lend weight to the idea that standalone ‘play to learn’ toys don’t necessarily live up to the hype. And are getting tossed under the sofa after a few days’ use.

We certainly don’t suggest there are any shortcuts to turn kids into coders in the gift ideas presented here. It’s through proper guidance — plus the power of their imagination — that the vast majority of children learn. And of course kids are individuals, with their own ideas about what they want to do and become.

The increasingly commercialized rush towards STEM toys, with hundreds of millions of investor dollars being poured into the category, might also be a cause for parental caution. There’s a risk of barriers being thrown up to more freeform learning — if companies start pushing harder to hold onto kids’ attention in a more and more competitive market. Barriers that could end up dampening creative thinking.

At the same time (adult) consumers are becoming concerned about how much time they spend online and on screens. So pushing kids to get plugged in from a very early age might not feel like the right thing to do. Your parental priorities might be more focused on making sure they develop into well rounded human beings — by playing with other kids and/or non-digital toys that help them get to know and understand the world around them, and encourage using more of their own imagination.

But for those fixed on buying into the STEM toy craze this holiday season, we’ve compiled a list of some of the main players, presented in alphabetical order, rounding up a selection of what they’re offering for 2018, hitting a variety of price-points, product types and age ranges, to present a market overview — and with the hope that a well chosen gift might at least spark a few bright ideas…

Adafruit Kits

Product: Metro 328 Starter Pack  Price: $45 Description: Not a typical STEM toy but a starter kit from maker-focused and electronics hobbyist brand Adafruit. The kit is intended to get the user learning about electronics and Arduino microcontrollers to set them on a path to being a maker. Adafruit says the kit is designed for “everyone, even people with little or no electronics and programming experience”. Though parental supervision is a must unless you’re buying for a teenager or mature older child. Computer access is also required for programming the Arduino.

Be sure to check out Adafruit’s Young Engineers Category for a wider range of hardware hacking gift ideas too, from $10 for a Bare Conductive Paint Pen, to $25 for the Drawdio fun pack, to $35 for this Konstruktor DIY Film Camera Kit or $75 for the Snap Circuits Green kit — where budding makers can learn about renewable energy sources by building a range of solar and kinetic energy powered projects. Adafruit also sells a selection of STEM focused children’s books too, such as Python for Kids ($35) Age: Teenagers, or younger children with parental supervision

[inline-ads]

Anki

Product: Cozmo Price: $180 Description: The animation loving Anki team added a learn-to-code layer to their cute, desktop-mapping bot last year — called Cozmo Code Lab, which was delivered via free update — so the cartoonesque, programmable truck is not new on the scene for 2018 but has been gaining fresh powers over the years.

This year the company has turned its attention to adults, launching a new but almost identical-looking assistant-style bot, called Vector, that’s not really aimed at kids. That more pricey ($250) robot is slated to be getting access to its code lab in future, so it should have some DIY programming potential too. Age: 8+

Dash Robotics

Product: Kamigami Jurassic World Robot Price: ~$60 Description: Hobbyist robotics startup Dash Robotics has been collaborating with toymaker Mattel on the Kamigami line of biologically inspired robots for over a year now. The USB-charged bots arrive at kids’ homes in build-it-yourself form before coming to programmable, biomimetic life via the use of a simple, icon-based coding interface in the companion app.

The latest addition to the range is dinosaur bot series Jurassic World, currently comprised of a pair of pretty similar looking raptor dinosaurs, each with light up eyes and appropriate sound effects. Using the app kids can complete challenges to unlock new abilities and sounds. And if you have more than one dinosaur in the same house they can react to each other to make things even more lively. Age: 8+

Kano

Product: Harry Potter Coding Kit Price: $100 Description: British learn-to-code startup Kano has expanded its line this year with a co-branded, build-it-yourself wand linked to the fictional Harry Potter wizard series. The motion-sensitive e-product features a gyroscope, accelerometer, magnetometer and Bluetooth wireless so kids can use it to interact with coding content on-screen. The company offers 70-plus challenges for children to play wizard with, using wand gestures to manipulate digital content. Like many STEM toys it requires a tablet or desktop computer to work its digital magic (iOS and Android tablets are supported, as well as desktop PCs including Kano’s Computer Kit Touch, below) Age: 6+

Product: Computer Kit Touch Price: $280 Description: The latest version of Kano’s build-it-yourself Pi-powered kids’ computer. This year’s computer kit includes the familiar bright orange physical keyboard but now paired with a touchscreen. Kano reckons touch is a natural aid to the drag-and-drop, block-based learn-to-code systems it’s putting under kids’ fingertips here. Although its KanoOS Pi skin does support text-based coding too, and can run a wide range of other apps and programs — making this STEM device a fully fledged computer in its own right Age: 6-13

Lego

Product: Boost Creative Toolbox Price: $160 Description: Boost is Lego’s relatively recent foray into offering a simpler robotics and programming system aimed at younger kids vs its more sophisticated and expensive veteran Mindstorms creator platform (for 10+ year olds). The Boost Creative Toolbox is an entry point to Lego + robotics, letting kids build a range of different brick-based bots — all of which can be controlled and programmed via the companion app which offers an icon-based coding system.

Boost components can also be combined with other Lego kits to bring other not-electronic kits to life — such as its Stormbringer Ninjago Dragon kit (sold separately for $40). Ninjago + Boost means = a dragon that can walk and turn its head as if it’s about to breathe fire Age: 7-12

littleBits

Product: Avengers Hero Inventor Kit Price: $150 Description: This Disney co-branded wearable in kit form from the hardware hackers over at littleBits lets superhero-inspired kids snap together all sorts of electronic and plastic bits to make their own gauntlet from the Avengers movie franchise. The gizmo features an LED matrix panel, based on Tony Stark’s palm Repulsor Beam, they can control via companion app. There are 18 in-app activities for them to explore, assuming kids don’t just use amuse themselves acting out their Marvel superhero fantasies Age: 8+

It’s worth noting that littleBits has lots more to offer — so if bringing yet more Disney-branded merch into your home really isn’t your thing, check out its wide range of DIY electronics kits, which cater to various price points, such as this Crawly Creature Kit ($40) or an Electronic Music Inventor Kit ($100), and much more… No major movie franchises necessary

Makeblock

Product: Codey Rocky Price: $100 Description: Shenzhen-based STEM kit maker Makeblock crowdfunded this emotive, programmable bot geared towards younger kids on Kickstarter. There’s no assembly required, though the bot itself can transform into a wearable or handheld device for game playing, as Codey (the head) detaches from Rocky (the wheeled body).

Despite the young target age, the toy is packed with sophisticated tech — making use of deep learning algorithms, for example. While the company’s visual programming system, mBlock, also supports Python text coding, and allows kids to code bot movements and visual effects on the display, tapping into the 10 programmable modules on this sensor-heavy bot. Makeblock says kids can program Codey to create dot matrix animations, design games and even build AI and IoT applications, thanks to baked in support for voice, image and even face recognition… The bot has also been designed to be compatible with Lego bricks so kids can design and build physical add-ons too Age: 6+

Product: Airblock Price: $100 Description: Another programmable gizmo from Makeblock’s range. Airblock is a modular and programmable drone/hovercraft so this is a STEM device that can fly. Magnetic connectors are used for easy assembly of the soft foam pieces. Several different assembly configurations are possible. The companion app’s block-based coding interface is used for programming and controlling your Airblock creations Age: 8+

Ozobot

Product: Evo Price: $100 Description: This programmable robot has a twist as it can be controlled without a child always having to be stuck to a screen. The Evo’s sensing system can detect and respond to marks made by marker pens and stickers in the accompanying Experience Pack — so this is coding via paper plus visual cues.

There is also a digital, block-based coding interface for controlling Evo, called OzoBlockly (based on Google’s Blockly system). This has a five-level coding system to support a range of ages, from pre-readers (using just icon-based blocks), up to a ‘Master mode’ which Ozobot says includes extensive low-level control and advanced programming features Age: 9+

Pi-top

Product: Modular Laptop Price: $320 (with a Raspberry Pi 3 Model B+), $285 without Description: This snazzy 14-inch modular laptop, powered by Raspberry Pi, has a special focus on teaching coding and electronics. Slide the laptop’s keyboard forward and it reveals a built in rail for hardware hacking. Guided projects designed for kids include building a music maker and a smart robot. The laptop runs pi-top’s learn-to-code oriented OS — which supports block-based coding programs like Scratch and kid-friendly wares like Minecraft Pi edition, as well as its homebrew CEEDUniverse: A Civilization style game that bakes in visual programming puzzles to teach basic coding concepts. The pi-top also comes with a full software suite of more standard computing apps (including apps from Google and Microsoft). So this is no simple toy. Not a new model for this year — but still a compelling STEM machine Age: 8+

Robo Wunderkind

Product: Starter Kit Price: $200  Description: Programmable robotics blocks for even very young inventors. The blocks snap together and are color-coded based on function so as to minimize instruction for the target age group. Kids can program their creations to do stuff like drive, play music, detect obstacles and more via a drag-and-drop coding interface in the companion Robo Code app. Another app — Robo Live — lets them control what they’ve built in real time. The physical blocks can also support Lego-based add-ons for more imaginative designs Age: 5+

Root Robotics

Product: Root Price: $200 Description: A robot that can sense and draw, thanks to a variety of on board sensors, battery-powered kinetic energy and its central feature: A built-in pen holder. Root uses spirographs as the medium for teaching STEM as kids get to code what the bot draws. They can also create musical compositions with a scan and play mode that turns Root into a music maker. The companion app offers three levels of coding interfaces to support different learning abilities and ages. At the top end it supports programming in Swift (with Python and JavaScript slated as coming soon). An optional subscription service offers access to additional learning materials and projects to expand Root’s educational value Age: 4+

Sphero

Product: Bolt Price: $150 Description: The app-enabled robot ball maker’s latest STEM gizmo. It’s still a transparent sphere but now has an 8×8 LED matrix lodged inside to expand the programmable elements. This colorful matrix can be programmed to display words, show data in real-time and offer game design opportunities. Bolt also includes an ambient light sensor, and speed and direction sensors, giving it an additional power up over earlier models. The Sphero Edu companion app supports drawing, Scratch-style block-based and JavaScript text programming options to suit different ages Age: 8+

Tech Will Save Us

Product: Range of coding, electronics and craft kits Price: From ~$30 up to $150 Description: A delightful range of electronic toys and coding kits, hitting various age and price-points, and often making use of traditional craft materials (which of course kids love). Examples include a solar powered moisture sensor kit ($40) to alert when a pot plant needs water; electronic dough ($35); a micro:bot add-on kit ($35) that makes use of the BBC micro:bit device (sold separately); and the creative coder kit ($70), which pairs block-based coding with a wearable that lets kids see their code in action (and reacting to their actions) Age: 4+, 8+, 11+ depending on kit

UBTech Robotics

Product: JIMU Robot BuilderBots Series: Overdrive Kit Price: $120 Description: More snap-together, codable robot trucks that kids get to build and control. These can be programmed either via posing and recording, or using Ubtech’s drag-and-drop, block-based Blockly coding program. The Shenzhen-based company, which has been in the STEM game for several years, offers a range of other kits in the same Jimu kit series — such as this similarly priced UnicornBot and its classic MeeBot Kit, which can be expanded via the newer Animal Add-on Kit Age: 8+

Wonder Workshop

Product: Dot Creativity Kit  Price: $80 Description: San Francisco-based Wonder Workshop offers a kid-friendly blend of controllable robotics and DIY craft-style projects in this entry-level Dot Creativity Kit. Younger kids can play around and personalize the talkative connected device. But the startup sells a trio of chatty robots all aimed at encouraging children to get into coding. Next in line there’s Dash ($150), also for 6+ year olds. Then Cue ($200) for 11+. The startup also has a growing range of accessories to expand the bots’ (programmable) functionality — such as this Sketch Kit ($40) which adds a few arty smarts to Dash or Cue.

With Dot, younger kids play around using a suite of creative apps to control and customize their robot and tap more deeply into its capabilities, with the apps supporting a range of projects and puzzles designed to both entertain them and introduce basic coding concepts Age: 6+

via TechCrunch