#dj plays: pathologic

[bachelordaniildankovsky]

Inquisitor Karminsky

[callmearcturus]

Another writing thought:

The thing I wrote last night which I am cleaning up now

It's fucking pump your veins with gushing gold again.

Back in 2016, during The Bad Times for me, I wrote a story that was about a self-destructive addict who through luck and circumstance winds up being introduced to a safer alternative to their self-destruction, which saves their life. And honestly, the alternative is not clean and it's not ethically sound, but it's what works specifically for this person. What would be a fucked-up prison for anyone else is vastly better life for this specific person.

That's gushing gold. And it's the Abraxas plot of so we don't kill the ones we love. I wrote the Bad End version of it in we float before the sea at dusk. I wrote the softer, kinder iteration of it in all the world is earth and water. And I'm writing it again now!

This is fucking obscure as shit but in the reference guide to the director AU, I explained one of the fictional in-universe books Trent is writing is called The Silver Haleides. I'm gonna be an egotistical bint and self-quote here:

"The Silver Haleiades" oh boy. Since I dunno if this is going to be a major part of the fic, I'll explain here. So I sort of know the major thematic thrust of all of Trent's books. Each one he writes is about a form of performance (Sarpedon = Nashville music scene, Atlantis = the Travelogue, Tides = live radio DJs, Paris = sports and journalism). The next one is about film, and roughly speaking is about a filmmaker who gets famous fast for their earlier movies but loses a lot of their cultural cache and social capital because they keep making very similar movies, over and over. But for the filmmaker, they don't care because they are trying to solve a puzzle, and with each iteration they get closer. It's about the dissolution of the self into art and willingly giving up that self in the pursuit of an artifice and holding up that creation as more "true" than reality. So the title: silver halides or silver salt are the chemicals used to create film, they're the chemicals that react to light to allow us to capture an image. The perversion to "haleiades" is a play on the Pleiades or the Hyades, which are star clusters that are part of the Taurus constellation. Idiomatically, it's about stardom and trying to capture images from reference points and the connections we invent that become the true story (as with constellations).

This concept is inspired by one of the motifs of Signalis and how it made me specifically feel. It's also about one of the subtextual themes of Pathologic. It's also about what the game IMMORTALITY accomplishes. It's what haunts me about Wes Anderson's Asteroid City.

And it's about me, and how I will keep writing this one thing over and over until I get it perfect, until I build it from my words and that will be my soul on the page.

That is a lot to impart this:

Write it badly. Then in two years, write it again. Then write it again. Become a machine trying to reach a peak without map or compass or landmarks. Keep doing it.

...

/reads all that back

oooooor don't! i mean when i put it all down like that maybe I should stop!

but hey. there's a reason the story i keep telling is about a self-destructive addict who finds a comparatively safer but still Fucked Up way to live.

[mydearthisbe]

Ayesha Liveblogs XO, Kitty S2

"I never imagined Yuri would call her mom and get me back in. But, now that I have a second chance, I'm not going to mess it up." If you say so, Kitty

"Dad's been feeling a little bit stressed." I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE MORE OF THIS PARENTING DYNAMIC

"Lara Jean convinced me to write a goodbye letter to Yuri." Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story—

"You think I'm annoying." "You are, it's one of your most endearing qualities." I want to give Min Ho a little kees on the forehead

Not Min Ho and Kitty sharing a longing look and immediately running away from each other khgkjhg

Shout-out Min Ho for not caring that Dae tried to beat him up LOL

"And, now we get to live together?" "What? I signed up for a single, there must be a mistake." "It's not a mistake, it's fate." Somebody at the KISS housing department HAS to have a vendetta against Kitty lmao. Exclusively fraught roommate situations:

"I had to get out of my parents' place. Bad vibes there. They're getting divorced." RIP the Han family's messy marriage

Rough to be Stella Cho, the roommate who is not a part of this romantically complex dynamic

The way Min Ho does a heel turn every time Kitty comes up kjgkhgjkgh. You poor, sweet, pathologically honest boy

"And I told him I'm sorry [for threatening him over Kitty] and he keeps saying it's okay, but clearly... He's feeling awkward." Oh Dae, I promise you, it has nothing to do with you

"Perhaps he was the young man she followed to Seoul. The one her parents didn't approve of." Like mother, like daughter. Also, what do you want to bet the young man Eve's parents didn't like is Dr. Covey?

"If I'm going to be part of your scheme, I should know what I'm in for. Plus, I'm nosy." I like Praveena. Also she's giving gay energy. Also also: How does Stella not overhear this?

"And lucky me, it's a chance to reconnect with my favourite son." "Your favourite son is Joon Ho. You wrote a song about him called 'Favourite Son.'" "Artistic license." Min Ho's deranged interactions with and about his celebrity family are one of my favourite things about this show

Eye Contact of Colour, Meet Eye Contact of Wul Luh Wuh (WLW)

"Can you talk to Min Ho? 'Cause he's mad that his dad is here, but I feel like he's also upset because of me. I was an idiot, accusing him of going after you, and I hate thinking I might have ruined your friendship." "I'll talk to him." Dae has such a good heart and such a weird friendship group dynamic

"But when you did think of me that way, you smiled." Oh Kitty, you're in it now

Dae smiling because Min Ho and Kitty are back to their arguing, which is now their version of flirting (and perhaps always was)

"Is it because of me [that you figured out you were bi]? I mean like, did I inspire you?" In a way, Yuri!

Not Halmoni avoiding Kitty's questions by hanging up on her LOL

"I have a feeling you and I are gonna be great friends." [Ominous music plays in the background] Oh, I guess Stella (Esther?) is also a threat. This show can never relax

"'My world got so much bigger because of you, and because of Simon.'" I mean, Simon could just be Alex's birth name, if Eve is talking about Jina's birth experience

Okay Dae, it's weird to serenade someone over the phone but it's NOT weird to do in detention with gum scraper microphone:

"Being a successful manager isn't something you can teach." "Then why is this a class?" I had that question also, Min Ho

"Knowledge is overrated. My strongest opinions are on things I know almost nothing about." Min Ho's dad Mr. Moon would probably make a great politician

"So, there's this great DJ playing tonight at this queer teen club in Itaewon." "Do you want to go?" "Like, with you?" "Yes. Unless you don't date girls." Go Praveena, being bold!

"So Simon wasn't your mum's boyfriend?" "No, he was her cousin." Not to point fingers, but sometimes, sometimes, this wasn't mutually exclusive in bygone eras of Asia broadly

Ghgjkhgkgh Yuri and Kitty are constantly telling each other lies of omission. Kitty lying last year about Alex, then this year about her feelings, and Yuri lying last year about Dae, and now about her mum. I think they really would not a good couple make

"You've been giving me shit for years, and you're gay?" Jin said: I'm gay, I'm homophobic, we exist

PLEASE NOT DAE TRAUMA DUMPING ON THE RANDOM STRAIGHT GIRLS IN THE GAY CLUB

"I never want to get in the way of you being there for a friend, but this is clearly not our night. I'm gonna go. See you around, Kitty Cat." What a short-lived date

"Yuri said she did not want to talk to Jina, and I'm following her lead, and if you were a real friend, you would too." Juliana has so far brought nothing but possessive vibes to the function. Develop another personality trait!

Juliana took that statement as a threat and developed the trait of plagiarizing Kitty's life advice:

"For a man who claims to have his finger on the pulse, you should know that bullying is so over, Mr Moon." This would be a fine statement if I didn't think Stella was trying to harm Min Ho in some way. Run baby, run!

"I bet he thinks you're a real bad ass now. I know I do." Min Ho nooooooo

Kitty running interference for Q so he doesn't miss the track meet. She really is a good friend!!

Perhaps Q should interrogate himself on why he's exclusively drawn to men with no moral compass

"Now I'm stuck watching Yuri and Juliana make out all the time." "Excuse me?" "I said that I'm always watching Yuri and Juliana put on their makeup." The ONE time Professor-turned-Principal Lee using his observation skills and it bites Kitty in the ass

Somehow I missed Madison Miller. I don't know, her Koreaboo vibes are outweighed by her general Chill Girl Boss energy

Props to Juliana for owning up to using Kitty's advice

"You must get your cockiness from your white side." Q, PLEASE

"Do you want to come? I could always use another set of eyes." "And crash your date? No thanks." 1) Yuri's the only one with any sense of romantic boundaries and 2) Yuri admitting she's jealous bc of the time capsule heist date

I like that Dae is upholding what I consider a core tenet of K-and-J-Dramas, which is the Backdoor Boyband Launch

"No! It's giving flamingo." The sincerity with which Eunice delivered this critique takes me out:

"I don't know what you think this is, but I don't want to do it anymore." "I thought this was flirting." "Well, I'm not interested." Jin thinks ruining Q's track-and-field experience is the high school equivalent of pulling on his pigtails

"Praveena just saved our asses. I mean it's only our second date." "Date? She's sweet-talking an old lady while you're in close quarters with the hottest guy at school." He made it in a stupid way, but Min Ho does have a point, Kitty

Min Ho is a good guy for inviting his crush AND the girl she's dating to his ski trip weekend

"What would I do without you?" [Chimes play while Yuri looks at Kitty longingly] Oh, this ski trip is going to be SUCH a mess

In this case, I do actually understand Juliana's position. Ignoring an important event for what's ultimately not time-dependent (a VCR search) would be upsetting

"My hopes, they're up here. Because I like you, a lot." Not as much as you seem to like Yuri or Min Ho, Kitty! I think everyone in this show could benefit from being single for a while

"She's the cute one in the family." "I think there might be more than one." Okay, Dae and Eunice, I'm on board!

"Are you guys fighting or.... another f-word?" "Kitty Song-Covey!" [Mock outrage] "Flirting!" Kitty and Q are my favourite friendship

"I could move in with you and Hana if you take my advice and ask her out. You two would make such a good couple!" Awwww Kitty's matchmaking is hereditary from Eve

"By the time this time capsule is opened, I'll be in my fifties. Wow. I'll be award-winning journalist. Married to someone smart and kind. And we'll have kids. At least one. A girl, I hope." I really feel for Kitty watching this, knowing how it all turns out

"She sounds just like Margot. She looks exactly like Lara Jean. She..." "She was a meddler, like you." Yuri saying it so Kitty doesn't have to <3

BOOOOOOOO. I told you this ski trip was going to be a mess:

"What am I gonna do now? I need to talk to Yuri." "What you do now is get to the cars. And try not to ruin my ski weekend." Props to Min Ho for keeping his feelings on the inside, unlike everyone else

Also I feel like if anything would cure Min Ho of his lingering feelings, it's seeing Kitty be actively involved in cheating

[In Korean] "But I thought you were rich." "No I'm not. I live in the same neighbourhood as you." "Really?" [In English] "You really don't know me at all." [Eunice skips away] With every interaction, I like Eunice more

The way Stella perked up upon finding out Mr. Moon has an office at the ski cabin makes me think that's her agenda. She wants dirt on him somehow

"Intense running also causes intense... runs." Q, Chaos Queen (Self-Titled) and IBS King

"God can't fix everything, Min Ho." "Really. I thought that was his whole deal." Min Ho said: I'm agnostic

Q is NOT an IBS King, he is simply a fool who hides his Poorly-Chosen Hook-Up in His Friend's Ski Cabin

"The way things are going, someone's getting their heart broken this weekend." My money is Juliana, Praveena and Kitty, in that order

"Min Ho, can't you make it any warmer in here?" "Next Seollal, book a flight to Cebu." HAHAH Min Ho and Madison is also a dynamic I enjoy

"Min Ho and Dae hate you, and rightfully so. You bullied them. And if they find out we're still hooking up after your track meet sabotage, they'll never let me live it down." Again Q, please interrogate WHY you are attracted to a guy like this:

LMAO @ Eunice giving Dae a torturous massage in the hot tub

"What are the chances that Min Ho lured us here to join his dad's cult?" Like maybe 30%, Juliana, he mostly hates his dad

"It got to the point where I thought that you would cheat on me with Kitty, and I know that is not fair, and I am so sorry." Unfortunately your instincts were correct, Juliana

"You have my whole heart, and I ruined everything." You really should tell Juliana about kissing Kitty, Yuri, but perhaps it is better to wait until you're not trapped in a cabin with no means to escape

"You could be a spy. Like the CIA should recruit you, stat." [Madison squeals] "Thank you, that's so sweet of you to say!" This is so silly, also I feel like Praveena's parents are def not CIA

"Can't you just go over there and apologize?" "No, they should be over it by now." [Cut to Dae and Min Ho, clearly disgruntled with Jin] Again, date literally anyone else, Q

"'What if the universe made us partners in crime for a reason'?" IS THIS KITTY TO YURI OR MIN HO TO KITTY??

"It's a little soon for love letters. But when we go back to Seoul, would you like to get dinner with me?" Dae is so good at saying how he feels <3

I'd say Kitty's letter being read by her friends is karma for Lara Jean, but this is actually WAY worse bc all of Lara Jean's letters made it to their intended recipients. This one is being used for show-and-tell

"Why did you bring this here?" "I didn't, I swear." I bet Stella did!

As Min Ho prophesized, Kitty did in fact ruin the ski weekend:

I'd say Kitty can explain she wrote that letter a while ago, but I guess it doesn't matter since she kissed Yuri last night

Also running theory on what the hell Stella's problem is, because if it were just about Min Ho, she wouldn't actively be interfering with Kitty's life also (or at least I suspect she has, no one else has a reason to bring the letter along or access to it): I think she's Simon/Seojoon's daughter? So she's resentful about Kitty and Eve, and trying to replace her in a way, by slowly ingratiating herself and driving a wedge between Kitty and her friends? This show does love a secret relative

"I'm gonna leave just as soon as the roads are cleared. But for now, I'm gonna hang in here. Can you go?" Praveena is actually handling this with so much maturity

"Bully me. Then we'll be even." [Min Ho starts removing his jacket] [Dae pulls the jacket back on him] I love them, they're so silly

The way they DID bully him back. I love them x100, absolutely ludicrous behaviour

Min Ho getting into the hot tub fully-clothed. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

(The parallels with Kitty and Min Ho to Lara Jean and Peter's hot tub scene!! Endgame behaviour)

"I'm a terrible, awful person." "No, you're not." "I've hurt a lot of people." "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's impossible to keep emotions like that hidden." Min Ho said: I'm actually famously pro-Kitty

"What are you doing out here?" "Just talking as friends." Top 10 Things People Who Are Not Just Friends Say

I was right about how the letter got there, in any case!

"You made a move on Kitty on the plane? And you're supposed to be my best friend." "I am your best friend, Dae. Listen to me." [Dae swats Min Ho's hand away] "Shut up. I don't want to talk to you, ever again." Everyone has their breaking point, and I guess this was Dae's

[Kitty guessing Stella's password] "WWJD." Ekghkghkgh why does everyone treat Stella like a Jesus Freak. What did I miss?

[Q sighing] "Everybody likes me." Cursed with charisma, LOL

"But right now, I'm trying to get Juliana back. And hanging out with the girl I cheated with isn't going to help." Yuri's real for that actually

"Wow, look at this. Portland Stalker's back." [Kitty, sarcastically] "Ah, that's really funny!" Min Ho and Kitty's usual back-and-forth is also a comfort

Perhaps it's not in Kitty's best interest to go on a road trip with someone who had feelings for her who's in a relationship now. She doesn't want to double dip in cheating scandals

"I'm really sorry." "You know what? I'm not going to help you feel better about what you did. If I have to live with it, so do you." Good for Juliana!

"Can you do me one more favour?" "If it's not insane." "Keep an eye on Stella while I'm gone tomorrow." "No, sorry, that's insane." Q and Kitty continue to be the realest friendship on this show:

"Is it possible that you could be a little self-involved?" "That is a distinct possibility." I think Yuri could really reap some benefits from listening to her new older brother

"He has to think about a lot of things that you don't. And sometimes, that can lead to you making impulsive decisions." Kitty slowly explaining the concept of privilege to Min Ho LOL. Poor Little Rich Boy: The Sequel

"Are you telling me that they are matchmakers?" "Covey, be cool." THAT'S SO CUTE, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE SONG MATCHMAKER TRADITION:

"[The boba] worked for like half a second, and then my blood lust returned anew." Juliana is also growing on me ahhahaha

"I'm still not buying Kitty's theory that she's some letter-stealing wackadoo." "Why not? I kind of agree with Kitty on that one." "No way." "Look, Stella was conspicuously missing when that letter was circulating. And as her roommate, I gotta say, the girl just... is off. Too smiley, too wide-eyed, it all adds up to sus." Juliana 🤝Kitty: Knowing Stella has a haunting aura

Great Aunt coming in hot with her hateful vibes. I guess you could've sent her a letter or something instead of just showing up at her house under false pretenses

"I always thought I was like her in the best ways. What if I'm like her in the worst ways?" Oh, Kitty

"Oh, I know quite a bit about Kitty Song Covey. She's relentless and determined. She helped her sister find love, in her own chaotic way, then travelled around the world so she could find it for herself. That's how I know she..." [Min Ho brushes Kitty's hair out of her eyes] "Well, that's how I know you won't give up on your family. Whether they want you to or not." MIN HO, YOU ROMANTIC SON OF A BITCH (YOUR DAD)

They are soooooooooooooo entangled, oh my god, look at this:

Q is Hook-Up-Hiding Fool AND an IBS King. He CAN do both <3

"I'm gonna stop chasing you around campus and give you space. I'm gonna really try to figure out why I made the mistakes that made me lose the most important person in the world to me." Yuri telling Juliana she loves her enough to leave her be and to figure her own shit out first. That's growth!

I guess we finally know what Stella was doing at the cabin:

"I need to get to the hospital. My dad got into a car accident." [Kitty and Min Ho both jump back into the car] "Get in, I'll take you." Ohhhhh they're coming back together in times of crisis

"Kitty, I'm so sorry I shut you out while I was trying to get Juliana back. I just really miss our friendship." That's what happens when you get romantically involved with all of your closest friends, Yuri. Kitty would know!

I actually forgot that Peter Kavinsky, love of Lara Jean's life, was supposed to be in this season! Awwww, that's nice

"Wait, so does that mean that there's a chance that you and Yuri—" "No, no chance. And I wouldn't want a chance, given the way that she treated me." Rough, but I guess that settles that. Yuri has some self-reflection to do

"I wanna know why you guys are calling a human being 'the Ohio weirdo'." Peter said: I don't tolerate bullying, Baby Sister (in Law)

"You know, I think he totally likes you still." "Woah, no. Nope." "He's calling you by your last name." "That's not a thing, Peter." "He remembers every single word you've ever said. But he still pretends to be annoyed when you talk too much. Classic." Peter said: My money is on Team Min Ho

Ghghjkghkg Kitty asking Peter to buy her a pretty pen. He truly is her older brother

"Thank you, son. I know the perfect place for it." Maybe this is deranged of me but every time Stella gives people stuff (the lunch bag, the clock) I keep assuming she has it wiretapped

"Joon Ho got a girl pregnant. Some backup dancer." My assumption is: There's a recording device in the clock, and Min Ho will get blamed for this leaking

"And my highest rated of all, Rising Stars with Young Moon." [Stella spits out her water] Is Stella doing all of this because Mr. Moon was harsh with her on a reality show? That's insane

"Is this you trying to buy my forgiveness?" "No. Maybe." [Dae giggles] Hahahaha Dae and Min Ho friendship forever <3

Kitty aggressively karaoke-ing at Stella to show her suspicion is very funny

You know, props to Kitty, she waited until she had evidence and a credible theory to confront Min Ho about Stella's double life. That's also tons of growth

"It was bad enough that you broke my heart. Are you trying to break up my relationship?" Oh, Min Ho

"Kitty, you have this killer instinct. It is literally your superpower. So you gotta stop second-guessing yourself." Peter for Big Brother of the Year

Wow, my assumption that Stella was recording everything was actually spot-on! This show is just outlandish enough for that to be a plausible explanation

"What were you dreaming about?" "Calculus." HAHAHAHAH now Kitty's dreaming of Min Ho romantically, oh how the turn tables!!!!

Awwwww Kitty helping Jin to prompose. She's back on her matchmaking bullshit (complimentary)

"I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous." The romantic zoom-ins on Min Ho are getting longer and blurrier. Kitty, you are in The Romance Zone, on Jealousy Avenue

It's a bit much to ask Dae to pretend to be single, he's paid his dues in faking his relationship status

"Until you can admit you're wrong about Stella, we have nothing to talk about." Min Ho, you're about to learn a very painful lesson

"You know I like Eunice, right? But you have to win this for your dad. So don't forget that your girlfriend also your main competition." Dae is always in some kind of financial situation. Poor Little Disadvantaged Scholarship Student is a core facet of his characterization

"But why are you helping her?" "She's lacking a lot, but she has some strengths." [Min Ho thumps Kitty on the back] HAHAHAHA MIN HO SHIT-TALKING KITTY WITH HER GREAT AUNT IN FRONT OF HER

PLEASE HIM COMING IN JUST TO SMOOTH THINGS OUT WITH HALMONI AND LEAVE HE'S LIKE A HANDSOME RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST GHOST

"Back then, I told my mother and father Young Ja was sneaking around with your grandfather. They disowned her. I thought that was right at the time. Because she was supposed to marry a boy my parents had already chosen for her. She was meant to stay in Bukjeon. My sister left because I betrayed her." The way Kitty doesn't understand but she's still listening so attentively 🥺💘

"Maybe we are too different." [Dejectedly] "Cool. Now I don't have to feel bad when I mop the floor with you." RIP Dae and Eunice's short-lived relationship

The way Min Ho and Kitty look at each other makes me insane. They are the King and Queen of Unneccessarily Complicating Their Own Lives

"The semester's almost over. Which means she goes back to Portland. For good this time." What!! I thought we had a whole other season coming up!!!

"I know you love this song. I remember you singing this off-key in the shower once." Min Ho living up to Peter's claim that he remembers everything about Kitty

The way that Min Ho looks at Kitty when she says she misses him. Martha, he's back in the fucking building again

Stella said: If Taylor Swift won't announce her Reputation era, I will

"You used me? To get, what? Revenge on my dad?" "Can you blame me? He's a monster." As opposed to you, Stellesther, who's a fucking paragon of moral turpitude

"Like the evidence I planted on Kitty's laptop to frame her for MoonLeaks." Stella, I know you're new to this whole villainy thing, but I don't know if it'll benefit you to have forewarned them of your plans. Surely she can just delete whatever you put on it

"I have fallen for Min Ho. A little bit. Or, a lot." KITTY SONG COVEY, YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

"I always thought there was a vibe between you two." The way Kitty's ENTIRE family is Team Min Ho, including Cousin Jiwon who she just met

"She didn't even take off her shoes." "And Min Ho passed over his collagen water for one of your synthetic energy drinks." I love Q and Dae's Diagnoses From The Min Ho School Of Cries For Help. They're like, the vibes are off, the vibes are evil

"Seeing all these kids living out their pop star dreams just reminds him he never made it as a rock star, you know?" "So that's why he's been playing a bunch of sad songs on his guitar." PLEASE Alex and Yuri's interactions are so funny

"It's like she has him trapped somehow." "Well, if Min Ho's trapped, we have to help him." Glad that Dae is finally being looped into the Stella Shenanigans

"And if she wants to mess with my friends, I will drop-kick that bitch faster than she can say, 'Have a blessed day.'" "All right, Covey. Calm down." Min Ho said: Mark me down as scared AND h—

You know, to Kitty's credit, by this point, she has chosen a way to say Min Ho's name this season. Against her credit, it is different than how everyone else says it

"I told you, I love her. I want to marry her." "No, hold on." "Wait, you love this girl?" Kitty is just fully in the middle of this Moon family squabble, as she loves to be, as a Professional Meddler:

"Your skin is everything." "I know." PLEASE Joon Ho is just as funny as the rest of his family

"Not being with Eunji? Not being in my kid's life? That would be the real mistake." "I think out of everyone, you would understand. Right, Dad? Or should I say Halaboji? You told me want to do better as dad. So prove it." "You're right. And of course, I'll support you if that's what you want to do." Min Ho being an advocate for his brother!! Also I guess why they dropped the fact that they are all half-siblings is because they didn't want to linger on them all having different accents LOL

Dae elbow-checking Eunice so she can't drink whatever kinda spiked drink Stella is peddling. Chivalry isn't dead!

It isn't just a Backdoor Boyband Launch for Dae. It's also a group number! How fun

"A pre-emptory text demanding your head of school quote, 'haul ass' to meet you? Not appropriate." HAHAHA Principal Lee and Kitty: Frenemies for Life

Principal Lee being the entire back-up band. I love that for him

"I think I might want to give up running for good. Maybe find a whole new passion. But I didn't want to tell you, because...." "Because our entire relationship is based on competition and sport." Q rationalizes being lied to WAY too quickly

This is the cutest thing ever, I love this show so much:

"Eunji, will you marry me?" "Yes." "There goes your blackmail material." Crazy interaction to have, but woooooo! Get got Stella

"I am putting you on the next plane back to Ohio. But I also want you to know, I am sorry I was cruel to you." Good for Mr. Moon!

"I could tell your heart was never fully in it anyways." Bold take from someone who blackmailed him, but you right Stella, Min Ho hasn't stopped having feelings for Kitty this whole time

"Praveena and I got to talking at the dance, and it was... I should've told you. I hope that we can still be friends." Saw that one coming, but still sucks for Yuri

"There will be a class action lawsuit against the Han Group. From now on, we're going to be fine. Don't worry." Yuri is single AND broke. Been there baby, it's rough. Also how can Dae not worry? Yuri is his friend!

"Margot only has a small window before she has to go back to Scotland for her new job—" "Covey, calm down." "Why should I calm down?" "Because, you know someone whose dad owns a private jet." I've been thinking this since Bukjeon, but Min Ho is so Mr. Darcy coded

"For fifty years, I've thought about what I'd say if I saw you again. However, seeing you now, my heart is overwhelmed. I'm deeply sorry." [Crying] "Eonnie, eonnie." I'M CRYING ABOUT IT, THE GRANDMA REUNION GOT ME

"Now that I have all of this, the last thing I want to do is leave." "Maybe you don't have to." Oh????????

Also, I am glad that Margot can make an appearance! In a season about sisters, it's only right that we get a Covey sister cameo

"We've granted your request to renew your heritage scholarship. We'll see you next year, Miss Covey." "Oh my god, thank you! Thank you! Can I give you a hug? No. Not a hugger. A high five?" [Lee shakes Kitty's hand] "I'll take it." Persistently, everyone grows

[SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS] KISS HIM. THAT'S WHAT THIS SCHOOL IS CALLED, ISN'T IT?

"Wait! Can I join you?" [Min Ho smiles and gestures for her to follow] That's not where I thought this was going! I can't wait for the next season of this. I am eating up this slow-burn romance and overly romantically complex friend group!! Now that I have this show I want as much of it as possible

[soup-du-silence]

YES TUMBLR, I KNOW YEO TAGGED ME, IM AWARE, YOU DONT HAVE TO SEND ME A PUSH NOTIFICATION EVERY HOUR, I WAS AT WORK!!!!

Taico tagged me too apparently but I didnt get a notif for that??? ok

Last Song: The DJ is Cryng for Help. Excited to be the oldest bitch at the AJR concert this summer.........again lol. Love/hate relationship with the new album but they put on a good show

Favourite Colour: red! I need to re-dye the red in my hair I am considering this a reminder.

Currently watching: We've been on youtube lockdown pretty much ever since Vanguard debuted, but with the boys in japan for holofes/their upcoming 3D debuts, their schedules have been inconsistent. Alisa's a very hardcore Betellion meaning if Bettel's streaming she has him playing on at least two screens simultaneously and is active in chat, and Im a very normal Hakkito meaning I usually get through like 65% of Hakka's streams, eventually, if I have time. We'll throw on Shinri or Altare if we're caught up or there's nothing else happening. I made the mistake of introducing Alisa to HBomberguy and she's been filling the gaps with her 500th rewatch of the Plagiarism or Pathologic vids while the stars are busy. But also we're watching Dungeon Meshi! Izutsumi soon!!!!!

At this precise moment in time Alisa's watching the new JapanEat upload. (We love this guy)

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: Spicyyyyyyy I love spicy Im a terrible cook and i only know how to season with cayenne. i dont know when exactly i started equating "flavor" with "pain" but it is what it is. I'm kind of reaching the stage in my life where I need to be more careful about what I put in my gut because sometimes just too much pepperoni will fuck me up for 24 hours but also what if I ignored my aging body and didn't do that?

Relationship status: I've been with Alisa for 15 years! We met in the Meet the Robinsons fandom on livejournal/deviant art

Current Obsession: Four years late to the party Twisted Wonderland finally got its hooks into me! (Add me on EN: ZyEdsarR) I'm very mentally unwell about Scarabia. None of the fanfic on AO3 is scratching the itch so I'm spending too much money importing doujin. It's great but it takes a month to get like eight books and oops one of them is just a straight up fanfic and im sure its banger but I can't google translate my way through 60 pages of japanese text, one of them is solid porn which, yknow, cool, but it was probably something I was in the mood for when I placed the order a month ago and now I want story, and I have to sit down at my desk with good light to translate with my phone camera when what i CRAVE is to lie in bed on my side reading fic on my phone until 2 am. I'm dying, squirtle. (Anyone got good fic recs? there is WAY too much fic for pickings to be as slim as I feel like they are)

Last thing I googled:

none of these recipes look like the amazing shit they gave us at Falafel King so wish me luck

[silenthillmutual]

stole from @yahargulian and only now getting around to doing it ~

Time: 7:26pm

Current activity: trying to clear out my queued posts because i have far too many of them! and then i really should get to playing dark souls.

Currently thinking about: bloodborne lore. does djura know kin exist? does he object to killing them, or does he only care about beasts? did alfred ever actually know logarius? seems like he's been on the roof of cainhurst a while. why can you only summon henryk if you kill him? are all the other hunters you summon also dead? (i don't expect an answer on these btw i'm just chewing on them)

Current favourite song: discipline by nine inch nails fighting in the cage against square hammer by ghost

Currently reading: this is how you lose the time war. if i opt not to play dark souls or do my duolingo i can probably just read the rest of the book tonight.

Currently watching: twin peaks part (season?) 2!!! i waited too long to rent it from the library and now i'm foggy on what happened in the first part/season.

Current favourite character: a lot of characters are fighting for dominance inside my brain right now but they all bow to my own oc chestnut. but if i must pick a canon character then it's a tie between alfred and solaire because i love insane blonde men.

Current wip: all my troubles on a burning pile (harry mason post-silent hill 1 fic where he's going haha noooo don't turn into a bipolar episode! at himself), her (a fic about diana fowley meeting scully and having her own private oh no moment), i am the same i'm the same i'm trying to change (a healer family fic for pathologic that's going to be more focused on clara getting comforted [for velvet]), an untitled fic for my buddy dj, and then my mind has changed my body's frame (short thing about four bloodborne characters giving into beasthood)

tagginggggggg anyone who sees this. do this and tell me what you're up to. i love you.

[themattress]

Given that OP is evidently an old EU fan with an ax to grind against Disney/Lucasfilm, I'm taking these complaints with a grain of salt. Some of them are spot on, others not so much.

I'll give you an example. Rey. In TFA, her parents are simply missing and she's waiting for them to come back. In TLJ, she suddenly thinks they're an important secret for Kylo to reveal to her because she's pathologically suppressed the truth that they're drunks who sold her for alcohol money (or, you know, blue milk money, whatever). But why would she ever think that she had an important family or heritage unless she knew she was the protagonist of a space epic and having an important family or heritage is something that happens to those?

This is a good point. You could argue that Rey might think her heritage is important because of the stuff that went down in The Force Awakens - the vision when touching Luke's lightsaber, it choosing her over Kylo Ren, the island Luke is on being the same one she'd seen in her dreams, etc. However, the scripts of both films never had Rey vocalize any such thoughts, and in The Last Jedi she only says she's "trying to figure out her place in all this", which has to do with what role she plays, a very different thing than what heritage she might have. The whole scene between her and Kylo Ren was very weird in how "your parents were nobody, you come from nothing" was highlighted...from a meta perspective, that's certainly surprising for the main character, but it makes no sense from an in-universe perspective. In-universe, the pain Rey feels should be coming from the fact that Rey's parents abandoned her for no good reason and never planned on coming back for her, not because them just being junk traders means she has no special lineage as if that was ever a thing she desired.

Or DJ. The Benecio del Toro character is supposed to be a subversion of the rogue with a heart of gold trope. But why would Finn and Bangs ever think he's a rogue with a heart of gold that's implicitly trustworthy? They find him in a prison cell and have no reason to think he has any loyalty to the Resistance--he even gives a speech about how he considers the First Order and the Resistance to be equally bad!

Incorrect. Finn never trusts him or thinks he has a heart of gold. He's angry at his betrayal, but not surprised in any way. Rose is more hurt, but that's because she had been given a reason to think DJ has a heart of gold in that he returned her sister's medallion to her after making use of it rather than keep it to sell off like she initially assumed. She had been specifically set up to think she had misjudged DJ all along, only to then have the rug yanked from under her by DJ showing her initial impression of him as selfish and greedy was correct.

And the entire Luke storyline is a subversion of the entire idea of mentorship. Luke doesn't teach Rey anything. She doesn't need to be taught anything. It's unclear why she even thinks she does, given that she already beat down Kylo Ren with ease, but, again, character in a story. She thinks she needs a training montage, Rian says "she doesn't get a training montage!", and scene.

Again, this is incorrect. Luke does teach her things - how to consciously reach out to the Force, the history of how/why the Jedi Order fell to begin with, but above all his failures. Did you miss what Yoda's Force ghost told him? By showing Rey how he failed, not just through saying "I failed" but in his entire cynical, defeatist attitude, he taught her what she shouldn't do in the future. This gets paid off in The Rise of Skywalker, when she's on the verge of doing it so Luke's Force ghost appears to dissuade her. The mentorship subversion is both that Rey and Luke teach each other, and that a thing that isn't normally seen as positive in any way, failure, is perhaps the most valuable lesson that a mentor can ever pass on to their students.

it doesn't make any sense once you ask obvious questions like "Why shouldn't Poe know that there is a plan to save the fleet?"

....Yeah, spot-on there. There is no good justification for that plot point. The comic adaptation actually improved it by having Holdo tell him there's a plan but she can't discuss it lest a spy or spies from the First Order be among them. Poe then fucks up all on his own because his jealousy of Holdo being appointed leader by Leia in her stead rather than him causes him to talk himself into thinking that she's lying to him and doesn't actually know what she's doing.

That's a kind of cynicism that doesn't really work for Star Wars; you can't do a sincere narrative about the triumph of good over evil when the characters are mostly convinced there's no big difference between Good or Evil winning.

Huh!? Only DJ believes that. And he's not supposed to be right.

With TLJ, most every character on both sides are cynical, foolish, corrupt, power-tripping, shrill, pompous... most of all, incompetent. It seems less like an epic battle between the noble and the venal--more like two competing cliques of sitcom characters, only one of them is inexplicably Nazi-themed. You're left pretty much adrift, with no characters to sympathize with and no conflicts to become invested in, just visuals and 'themes'.

Pretty much. I'm not that big on Mr. Plinkett of Red Letter Media fame, but I actually love his review of The Last Jedi because it calls attention to how bizarrely farcical it plays out, as if Rian Johnson was trying to make a spoof-esque comedy that also happened to be a Star Wars movie. That kind of thing works with the Benoit Blanc films (spoof-esque comedies that also happen to be legitimate mystery stories), but not with Star Wars...or rather, not with a mainline "Skywalker Saga" Star Wars movie. Ideally, the comedy in such movies, whether it's done intentionally or not, should come from sincerity, which is the opposite of a farce.

But children can't get invested in themes or subversion. Neither can most people. It's the province of the elitist to care about subtext over story--the sick doldrums of modern art--and Star Wars isn't for them. It's for the people.

Children nor most people "can't get invested in themes"?

The province of "the elitist"?

Star Wars is for "the people?"

Balderdash!

You're 3 hits and 4 misses with this post. You can do better than that!

Why The Last Jedi doesn't work as subversion is that it continuously requires the characters to act like they KNOW they're characters in Star Wars and not LIVING the Star Wars.

I'll give you an example. Rey. In TFA, her parents are simply missing and she's waiting for them to come back. In TLJ, she suddenly thinks they're an important secret for Kylo to reveal to her because she's pathologically suppressed the truth that they're drunks who sold her for alcohol money (or, you know, blue milk money, whatever).

But why would she ever think that she had an important family or heritage unless she knew she was the protagonist of a space epic and having an important family or heritage is something that happens to those?

Or DJ. The Benecio del Toro character is supposed to be a subversion of the rogue with a heart of gold trope. But why would Finn and Bangs ever think he's a rogue with a heart of gold that's implicitly trustworthy? They find him in a prison cell and have no reason to think he has any loyalty to the Resistance--he even gives a speech about how he considers the First Order and the Resistance to be equally bad!

In ANH, both Luke and Obi-Wan treated Han like exactly what he was, a mercenary, who had to be cajoled into helping out until finally he showed his true colors by attacking the Death Star. They didn't know they were characters going through a story arc. The Sequel Trilogy characters act like they do, until Rian Johnson pranks them by twisting the story arc they had no reason to think they were participating in.

And the entire Luke storyline is a subversion of the entire idea of mentorship. Luke doesn't teach Rey anything. She doesn't need to be taught anything. It's unclear why she even thinks she does, given that she already beat down Kylo Ren with ease, but, again, character in a story. She thinks she needs a training montage, Rian says "she doesn't get a training montage!", and scene.

It's all very meta and post-modern and taken at face value, it doesn't make any sense once you ask obvious questions like "Why shouldn't Poe know that there is a plan to save the fleet?" Defenders of TLJ dismiss those obvious questions because they see them as unimportant next to the post-modern gamesmanship the movie is really concerned with, but Star Wars doesn't work like a Scream movie, where the characters are largely obsessed with horror movies and then, ironically, placed inside a horror movie.

That's a kind of cynicism that doesn't really work for Star Wars; you can't do a sincere narrative about the triumph of good over evil when the characters are mostly convinced there's no big difference between Good or Evil winning.

To go back to ANH, Obi-Wan is emphatic about how wonderful the Jedi were, how tragic it was that they were wiped out, how awful it is to live under the Empire, and how important it is to fight to restore the Republic. That's the baseline of sincerity that this kind of primordial mythmaking needs to work.

With TLJ, most every character on both sides are cynical, foolish, corrupt, power-tripping, shrill, pompous... most of all, incompetent. It seems less like an epic battle between the noble and the venal--more like two competing cliques of sitcom characters, only one of them is inexplicably Nazi-themed. You're left pretty much adrift, with no characters to sympathize with and no conflicts to become invested in, just visuals and 'themes'.

But children can't get invested in themes or subversion. Neither can most people. It's the province of the elitist to care about subtext over story--the sick doldrums of modern art--and Star Wars isn't for them. It's for the people.

[believerindaydreams]

Thursday again: viddy game London edition. Still.

I would have had this out yesterday except for this and that and the apartment building being evacuated for a fire alarm. No harm done that I am aware of, happily.

Listening

It's the Sunless Sea theme song. It makes me happy.

And since I do not have the three hundred sixty five dollars with which to bribe KUNV into letting me play guest DJ with the Casey Kasem soundalike, I'll just have to inflict this on you guys instead :)

Reading

Every so often I check in on the debris from former hyperfixations, such as The Best Beekeeping Blog on the web. Here's an interesting write up of why seedballs are A. Cool and punk, and B. sadly don't work that well

Visiting

Fallow. I'm about to spend a bucketload at one of the fanciest restaurants in Vegas, after all.

Eating

A half dozen eggs are three dollars at my Trader Joe's, so I made meatloaf with oatmeal and diced swiss. Forgot the ketchup but added it just before the end.

Writing

It stuck.

Tasted all right tho.

Did some work on the original novel thing. Go me.

Playing

Fallen London Fallen London Fallen London no I can't shut up about it. sorry.

I've got to do forty lab experiments before I start laying railway track. You have to have board meetings in realtime once a week. Long term commitment ahead. We're talking months here.

And since I am, like, pathologically terrible at setting long term goals (my impulse is always to Do The Thing ASAP), this is...well. Different.

Kind of nice.

[mmmthornton]

what is better than two claras (it's 3 claras)

[blondcs]

VALERIE KOTOVA (ciswoman, she/her, cindy kimberly) is TWENTY FOUR and a DJ from MOSCOW, but now they can be found in CASA. they are known as THE BOHEMIAN because they are STIMULATING, but if things kick off, they can be a bit UNRULY. they’re BISEXUAL and are most interested in grafting FRANKIE & MARCUS. one thing they want to accomplish in casa amor is MAKING MEMORIES. (a midnight dinner of cigarettes and black coffee, a wall thick with layers of painted over murals and torn up posters, edm blasting through headphones on a subway at 8am, slipping into angry russian behind an inky black bike helmet)

NAME:  valeriya antonova kotova.   NICKNAMES: valerie. val. v. koshka. lera. and if you’re her mom, lerusya. lerunya. lerukha. leka. le.... AGE:  twenty four.  GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis woman, she/her.   OCCUPATION: dj ZODIAC: sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, scorpio rising.   TATTOOS: все хорошо ( everything’s okay ) on her wrist, a silhouette of a black cat in between her shoulder blades, various friday the 13th tattoos she’s gotten with friends ( and strangers ), a few drunken stick n pokes here and there—her favorite being a wonky pair of headphones on her ankle ( was the ‘lucky’ on her inner thigh until it became played out ) , ‘connect’ on her ribs, probably some others PIERCINGS: a nose ring, two in each earlobe and on her right side a stacked lobe, tragus piercing, daith piercing, and industrial piercing

resting bitch face. ivy leaguer to dj pipeline. can and will drink you under the table. this isn’t house, you idiot, it’s techno—what do you mean you don’t find it meditative? five books going at once in various states of annotation on her nightstand. ‘that reminds me of this one time when i was studying this spiritualist church in the midwest...’ is longing, is yearning. did psychedelics once and has been slightly insufferable ever since. plant-based ( unless cigarettes and party drugs contain animal bi-products ). always just shy of artist herself. slipping into an accent she lost years ago for dramatic effect. ‘that reminds me of this one time in lyon when i had to turn down this man’s proposal in front of the statue of king louis xiv...’ is doing it for the memoir. pathologically incapable of saying no to a new experience. probably thinking about the panopticon. is dying to know all your deepest, darkest secrets, might tell you hers if you ask nicely. ‘attaching sex to bodies is so american, but fine, i’ll put my top back on.’ wanted to do an ayahuasca retreat until she realized they’re all scams and wouldn’t magically mend her individualistic western disconnect from spirituality ( but if you know a good shaman... ). is resisting the urge to pickle the produce you’re going to waste. running on caffeine, nicotine, gruyère and ambition to make the most of whatever the hell this life has to offer. 

[pear-pies]

Placebo in Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

Words by Jerome Soligny, photos by Carole Epinette

Wonky translation under the cut:

These three did it all. Shot with the QOTSAs and posed with Indo. They survived "Velvet Goldmine" and the Top Bab. They come back after the ordeal of the fourth album. Danger interview: “Jerome, what if you came out?” They ask our charming reporter.

"We do not regret anything"

Everything begins again with "Bulletproof Cupid", a punky instrument that pulls everything off. Then "English Summer Rein", mechanico-depressive spinning punctuated by twisted keyboards, and "Sleeping With Ghosts", the lament which advances while blistering during cooking, confirm the tone. Against all expectations, because you never know how will age the groups that the previous album installed at the Top, Placebo took over. And stuffed it in an iron glove. Further on, "The Bitter End" tumbles through yapping guitars which would stick to the hatches the thickest of the sailors. Be careful, Placebo is on the way out of being one. At the end of the record, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal and Steve Hewitt do not even run out of steam. The cows. They drop a "Centerfolds" which frolic like a cynical top under a shower of saving doubts. What augur still other perspectives.

The fourth album: a horror for all who have faced it. Often a stupid trap. Returning from the Gothic directly inherited from the glam of pageantry and from these hasty and harmful certainties which congest the face and the veins, Placebo publishes its first real great disc. Oh, not the marvel of wonders, not the album from the third millennium, but something very strong, compact, tenacious in listening, which proves that the future is indeed there, in front, where the light is most blinding. Calfeucée in their Parisian hotel (the Costes, of course), our three lads do not make the blow of the revelation, of the luminous questioning. Simply, they now think with their heads, a good plan most often Likewise, reality no longer frightens them, and it is probably she who is hiding behind this "Sleeping With Ghosts" which relates the sorrows only for the better. melt into hopes At the moment when rock brings us back to life and when we just want to ask them everything, the Placebo have decided to say everything. Not even in a hurry, they settle down on the couch, ready to talk like never before. Despite new batteries embedded in the carcass, the Panasonic barely a Brian Molko: Hey Jerome, you came to talk to us this time when you had not come to the previous album ...

Rock & Folk: Uh yes but I was there for the first two, that says a lot, right?

Brian Molko: Certainly, I also believe that over time, we finally appreciate the true nature of the problem: we were mainly criticized for the sound of the previous album, which I can understand but, paradoxically, it is the one that brought us to the Top.

R&F: Legitimately, we have the right to expect a lot from the people we love: while "Black Market Music" sounded a bit like a sequel, this new record is all about a renaissance.

Brian Molko: Actually, we were finally able to live a little. After having existed in a small bubble for a very long time, we forced ourselves to take an eight-month break. The album-tour rhythm put us on the sidelines: we no longer had normal contact with anything. We were losing ourselves. We have fully lived the old cliché which claims that we spend the first years of our life writing a first record and six months on the second. It turned out to be very true. We had to get back to the situation of the first album, see friends, go shopping, look at the buildings in our city.

R&F: So the freshness would come from there ...

Brian Molko: Yes, and it was essential spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Steve Hewitt: We had to be in tune with reality again.

Brian Molko: In fact, we find ourselves in a bit of the same state of mind as when we released "Without You I'm Nothing", although "Sleeping With Ghosts" is a lot less gloomy. The heroin has since stopped leaking. In fact, I feel like I've pulled myself out of what I consider my second teenage years, between twenty and thirty. I conquered the self-destruction, exorcised some demons, understood what had happened to me. I held on to what I had learned. As a human being, I am now able to continue living, to try to answer the big questions posed by existence.

R&F: Maybe that's why the melodies are needed this time. It took me four records to get a favorite Placebo track.

The whole group in chorus: Which one?

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want", of course ...

Brian Molko: The most paradoxical is that this song dates from the end of the "Black Market Music" sessions. I was not married at the time, but I was trying to get out of a particularly vicious divorce.just started. Then we wait for the lyrics, which don't arrive, it's rather intriguing. We especially wanted to avoid the big Rican producer side, we needed someone who shakes us up a bit. Jim could do that because he comes from dance and his pedigree is impressive. We have all his records at home, Bjôrk, Massive Attack, Sneaker Pimps and especially DJ Shadow. It is believed that guitar rock can only evolve by incorporating new genres, this is the only way to remain a modern rock band. At home, we practically only listen to hip hop.

R&F: Still, he didn't betray you.

Brian Molko: No because he actually brought out our rock side, which I'm particularly proud of. In fact, because we always wanted to control everything, it was not easy to be forced, to do certain things backwards, to walk on the head. But in truth, that's what we wanted: yes, there was some tension in the studio but we all took advantage of it. The challenge is necessary and it is also valid for the public. We opened up and rediscovered ourselves.

Stefan Olsdal (emerging from his chair): We found ourselves in front of the mirror, at the foot of the wall: someone had to kick our ass.

Brian Molko: Jim was like, "Why are you doing this?" We would answer him: "Because we always do it like that!" He would say: "All the more reason not to do it."

Stefan Olsdal: On the first day, he messed up all the demos, changed the tones, the tempos ...

R&F: Like Brian Eno ...

Steve Hewitt: Yeah, but with a lot more compassion. Eno is a bit (silence) ... We don't really like being told our actions, but at the same time, we are still young, still absorbing. Jim knew how to preserve us while making a modern sound.

R&F: Modern and rock'n'roll at the same time, a characteristic which does not necessarily apply to all the young groups in The which recycle the past gently but are convinced to have found the virus of the AIDS.

Steve Hewitt: Placebo doesn't belong to any current, has nothing to do with fashion.

R&F: You always pose as outsiders.

Brian Molko: It's the only way to survive.

Steve Hewitt: These bands, like The Strokes, play the nostalgia card.

Stefan Olsdal: And what happens next? I would not like to be in their place.

Brian Molko: If you want good New York pop, you better listen to Blondie.

R&F: In 2003, 11 seems that you have abandoned all the androgynous paraphernalia, sexual ambiguity, glam references ...

Brian Molko: I think today everyone knows what there is to know. Our sexual inclinations haven't changed, and we still wear makeup. It is just more expensive and better applied. We are ourselves, in our music and in private. I went through my travelo period (in French in the interview - Editor's note), and I understood that being androgynous was not wearing skirts. It is a way of being on the spiritual plane. It is not an image but a state of mind.

Steve Hewitt: It's like being punk, it's an attitude.

Brian Molko: At the same time, I don't regret any of my eccentricities. I grew up in the spotlight and it all kind of makes me smile.

Stefan Olsdal: People still talk to us about certain outfits or positions, as if it still shocks them.

R&F: Yes, and particularly in France, a particularly homophobic country which bumps heartily on gay artists.

Brian Molko: And you, coincidentally, you still hang out with.

Stefan Olsdal: Jérôme, it's coming out time (laughs) ...

Brian Molko: All that has to change, that all of France becomes gay (laughs)!

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want" precisely, here is a title heavy with meaning. What was the idea behind this song?

Brian Molko: For me, it's a study of the pathological need people have to copulate, the search for meaning in copulation. As if bachelors or monogamists were aliens. As if we were only one when we were two. The song is about the fact that one relationship has destroyed me but I can't help but look for another ... why do I keep coming back to this?

R&F: Wow, we're bathing in philosophy here!

Brian Molko: Yes and it's the same elsewhere in the record: in "Plasticine", I insist on the fact that you have to be yourself above all while asking myself all these questions. Why do we have to do a lot of forbidden things, bad or harmful?

R&F: It's therapy in public.

Brian Molko: At least I find some balance in it. These are not songs about compassion or self-pity. They came out like this because it was vital for me. I am in this privileged situation where I can express myself and the world hears me. Otherwise, I would be really frustrated and I would have suffered a lot more in the last fifteen years.

R&F: Music saved your life.

Brian Molko: Sure.

Steve Hewitt: Everyone: I think we can say that. Without Placebo, we would not be not even alive.

Brian Molko: Spitting it all out is not necessarily the right solution. There are things with which to live. In fact, I've always been afraid to go see a psychiatrist ...

R&F: Yet, listening to you speak earlier, you could have the feeling that Jim Abiss acted a bit like a shrink with you.

Brian Molko: That's right. You could say that.

R&F: At a time when Bush and Blair want to play World War III, what attitude do you adopt? What do you think of these Englishmen who left for Iraq to constitute a human shield?

Brian Molko: Let's say we stand together. We participated in the March for Peace on February 14th with Damon Albarn and 3D from Massive Attack. We were also surprised that so few groups mobilized, which increased our desire to participate tenfold.

R&F: Do you consider that it is the role of the artist to give voice in such circumstances?

Steve Hewitt: Yes, in the sense that we can help with general motivation.

Brian Molko: I'm very interested in seeing if Blair is going to let Bush bomb Iraq with the British present on the soil of the country. If he ever allows that, the consequences will be dire.

R&F: It will only be one more religious war, in the name of oil and money ...

Brian Molko: It seems absurd that we can still fight for that. And curiously, nobody speaks more, or almost, of Bin Laden. Wouldn't it all come from him, by chance, as a huge consequence of September 11? On the other hand, we have such a feeling that Bush wants to finish the job that daddy started. Its image is so bad that it needs at least one war to restore its image.

Steve Hewitt: And reinvigorate its dying economy.

R&F: The method is lamentable, deceitful. Like those employed by the recording industry which claims to be doing well by selling pop in damaged boxes to ignoramuses.

Brian Molko: The ability of this job to ingest people, bribe them and then spit them out is impressive. This is what happened here at Canal +.R&F: Business is the beast.

Brian Molko: All these pre-made artists are young and naff ...

Steve Hewitt: They'll all end up in a labor camp for ex-pop stars.

R&F: Warhol was talking about fifteen minute glory, we're brutally passed to fifteen seconds.

Brian Molko: We should have called them Karaoke idols from the start.

Steve Hewitt: And it only works because of the TV ...

R&F: Who washes the poor, helpless brains.

Steve Hewitt: You can tell how much people want to think less

R&F: And spend less. For many, music should be free: one in five thirteen-year-olds doesn't know that a disc doesn't have to be a computer-burnt puck. Some are flabbergasted when they see a cover for the first time.

Stefan Olsdal: And those who don't buy records put pressure on those who have them to pass them on at all costs, just long enough to copy them.

R&F: Exactly.

Brian Molko: That's why we blame Robbie Williams so much. Scooping 80 million pounds off EMI and then declaring that pirating music is a fantastic thing just makes him want to stick a chunk in his face.

R&F .: And then piracy is not a matter of environment. It's not a suburban thing. There are rich kids who find it normal to burn 80 CDs during their weekend and sometimes sell them to their friends ...

Brian Molko: What do these people believe? That we are there, the face in the stream with a syringe stuck in the arm singing "La Vie En Rose"? And who will pay for our children's school? Not them, anyway. Our mentality is quite different: we always want to buy records from people we love, from our friends. Personally, we are partly out of the woods, but it will be particularly difficult for new groups to make a living from music in five or ten years.

R&F: Come on, we're not going to leave each other on this, a little humor won't hurt anyone. If you were to be banned from any of these three things, which would you choose: making music, making money or making love?

Steve Hewitt (almost tit for tat): I would stop making money, without hesitation. It's because I love music and sex too much. And then, well, you have to choose.

Brian Molko (completely overwhelmed): Oh damn, that's not true. What a dilemma!

R&F: No Brian, that doesn't count, make an effort (laughs).

Brian Molko: Ah, I don't know. And then if. I would stop making money and get on well with someone super rich.

R&F: Or you would be pimp ...

Brian Molko: Yes, that's it. Good plan.

Stefan Olsdal: Stop making love does not mean to stop loving ...

Brian Molko (preparing his shot): And we can always masturbate (general laughter).

Stefan Olsdal: OK then, I would stop making love.

R&F: Okay, it will be written in black and white for all eternity.

Brian Molko: Will we live long enough to regret it? This is the real question.

*COLLECTED BY JEROME SOLIGNY

[Inset, Trash Palace]

Already present on the first album by Trash Palace which he had adorned with his presence one unhealthy recovery of "I Love You, Me No More "in duet with Asia Argento, Brian Molko is coming to re-stack. This time he cosigns directly "The Metric System " with Dimitri Trash Palace Tikovoi, an electro saw boosted to bleeps fundamentals available in two remix and its clip on an enhanced single recently published at Discograph. The result is particularly (d) amazing and sounds good logical, like of Placebo cyber.Placebo in  Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

[sweetsmellosuccess]

The Best Films of 2020

The 15 Best Films of 2020

Normally, when I assess a full year of cinematic offerings, I consider both sides of that coin  —  the outstanding entities, and the least successful —  but the year of our lord two thousand and twenty provided more than enough misery for all of us, I do believe. Ergo, in my own small way to bring better vibes into the universe, for this year’s round-up, I’m staying solely on the positive tip, highlighting those films whose unfortunate release date during the Year of the Hex shouldn’t preclude them for being fully appreciated. Let’s take a year off from negativity and schadenfreude, shall we, and just stroll amongst the poppies and bright sunshine of some of the best releases of the year.  

15. The Invisible Man

“Leigh Whannell’s film is thoroughly modern in approach and sophistication, but the film it most reminded me of was made back in 1944. George Cukor’s Gaslight starred Charles Boyer as a loathsome husband who attempts to convince his already anxious wife (Ingrid Bergman) that she’s going insane by secretly rearranging things in their house and taking things from her so she thinks she’s always misplacing them. He preys on her emotional vulnerability in order to mask his own pathology and emotional detachment. The effect is absolutely enraging: Onscreen, he’s one of the more hateful villains ever committed to celluloid.”

Full Review

14. The Killing of Two Lovers

“From the opening sequence, with a distraught, estranged husband standing over the bed of his wife and her new boyfriend with malice in his heart, and a gun in hand, the film spirals out into incredibly well structured compositions, taking us inside and outside of David’s recurring psychosis, utilizing a bevy of techniques: The framing shrinks down around him, the sound gets muffled, as if underwater, save for the incredibly unnerving metallic sound of cables being stretched taut, and the sickening kathunk of a heavy car door slamming shut.”

Capsule Review

13. Another Round

“Typically, Vinterberg avoids simple conclusions  —  and God help us all if this film gets picked up by a U.S. studio and remade with, say, Vince Vaughn, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, and Chris Rock  —  providing more or less equal examples of the delirious fun drinking with your friends can be (the film opens with a group of high schoolers gleefully doing “lake races” whereby teams compete to drink a case of beer while running around the nearby body of water; and closes with the same teen crew, and some of their teachers, whooping it up in celebrating their graduation); and the horrorshow it can become (one teacher ends up peeing the bed, and on his wife in the process, another wakes up bloodied and out of it in front of his neighbor’s house), leading to very real and horrible consequences.”

Capsule Review

12. Soul

“Co-director Pete Docter is the creative force behind many of Pixar's best titles, having a hand in the Toy Story franchise, WALL-E, Up, and also directing Inside Out, a brilliantly moving treatise on the subject of emotional upheaval. This film, which he co-wrote and made along with fellow co-director Kemp Powers, is his first film back at the helm since that high-water mark, and he has again dug into the fertile earth of our mortality and come back with a particularly vibrant crop.”

Full Review

11. The Burnt Orange Heresy

“Based on the novel by Charles Willeford, the film briskly moves through its paces, clouding the waters with the schemes of duplicitous men, who have sold out any love of art for their greater obsession of cash and prestige. A literary thriller in the vein of The Talented Mr. Ripley, it’s become a genre all too rare in the era of blockbuster bravado. This film will remind you what a mistake that is.”

Full Review

10. Lovers Rock

“In the course of the party, the fuses blow while the house DJ is spinning Janet Kay's "Silly Games," a fan favorite at the time. Undaunted, the guests continue dancing away, singing the lyrics a capella in delirious unison, as McQueen's camera swirls around the living room as if nothing happened. Such a heartfelt moment of unbridled togetherness, putting into distinct bas relief the sense of community we've been denied as a species in 2020, feels like a benediction, an epitaph for the year, and a salve for what we've all been so desperately missing.”

Capsule Review

9. Time

“Ostensibly, it’s about the strain of incarceration on even the most grounded of families (an experience naturally disproportionate for POCs); but, on a deeper level, it’s also about the manner of our use of the limited number of revolutions we get to enjoy situated on this earth. It is a profound knock-out.”

Full Review

8. New Order

“Meet the new boss, only in Michel Franco’s damning portrait of a society locked forever in cycles of oppression, revolution, and new oppression, it makes no difference who you are, what your belief system is, or whether or not you subscribe to a moral set of ethics.”

Capsule Review

7. Dick Johnson is Dead

“Utilizing stunt people and special effects, Johnson kills her father off a number of different gruesome ways, as a means of softening the blow of actually losing him as his mind slowly slips away. This eventually culminates in a final gambit, both acutely painful and deeply moving, in which our sense of things gets seriously upended. As Johnson put it during the post-screening Q&A, the film serves as a “doomed experiment trying to keep my father alive forever.” This film won’t make him immortal, alas, but it does make him indelible.”

Capsule Review

6. Martin Eden

“Marcello packs the film with offbeat bits and pieces of other films, including strips of what appear to be vintage home movies, sometimes in juxtaposition to what Martin is feeling  —  a group of kids swinging wildly from the bar of a fence, to a full galley ship taking in water and suddenly sinking like an iron ingot – which adds a more winsome, timeless element to the narrative. It’s clearly set in the past, but avoids being too dependent on that particular sense of place and time. Martin is a young man, at first, just coming into himself, and the actions he takes, what he goes through, the film seems to suggest, would be similar in any age.”

Full Review

5. Minari

“The film is certainly charming, but that’s not to diminish its straightforward approach to its characters’ plight. It doesn’t shy away from their difficulties, and as a result, it doesn’t cheat towards smarmy emotional closure.”

Capsule Review

4. Collective

“The breath of hope in the film, when the inept Minister of Health resigns, leading to the placing of a new, emboldened director who works quickly to clean the quagmire left by his predecessors, is just as quickly expelled after the next round of elections, in which the Social Democrat party  —  the very ones in charge of this catastrophe in the first place  —  gets re-elected with an even greater majority than what they had before. A perfect reflection of what happens when a government is allowed to exist without any meaningful oversight, other than from a bedraggled press and a disenchanted electorate.”

Full Review

3. First Cow

“Reichardt, a naturalist at heart, is not known much as a humorist, but there is a lightness to her screenplay -- co-written by Jonathan Raymond, her frequent collaborator, who wrote the original novel upon which its based -- that keeps it as sweetly airy as one of Cookie's fried confections. The two friends are so out of step with their surroundings -- the party of men Cookie initially travels with are little more than brutish thugs, and the fort upon which they end up is no better -- they almost had to find each other. They are reunited in the local bar of the fort only because literally every other patron runs out to egg on a brawl between two loutish combatants.”

Full Review

2. Never Rarely Sometimes Always

“Hittman’s eye for detail and emotional complexity  —  her characters can rarely articulate anything they’re experiencing  —  is incredibly acute, and she pulls tremendously understated performances out of her two leads.”

Capsule Review

1. Nomadland

“Perhaps no American director since Terrance Malick has made more of the collapsing light of dusk and twilight than Chloe Zhao. Much of her new film, which stars Frances McDormand as a transigent woman (“not homeless, houseless”), who traverses back and forth across the west in her beat up live-in van, doing seasonal work, takes place in that particular kind of vibrant half-darkness that shrouds the desert and its mountains with a magic kind of mystery.”

Capsule Review

Other Worthy Mentions: 7500; Assassins; Bacurau; Beanpole; Beginning; Black Bear; Bloody Nose Empty Pockets; Boys State; Come Play; Emma; Gunda; His House; Horse Girl; I Am Greta; Jacinta; La Llorona; Let Him Go; Limbo; Mangrove; Mayor; MLK/FBI; One Night in Miami…; Palm Springs; Possessor Uncut; Red, White & Blue; Relic; She Dies Tomorrow; Shirley; Shithouse; Shiva Baby; Some Kind of Heaven; Spring Blossom; Swallow; Tenet; The Dissident; The Invisible Man; The Nest; Sound of Metal; The Vast of Night; The Viewing Booth; The Way I See It; Vitalina Varella; Welcome to Chechnya

Inexplicably Underrated: 7500; Shithouse

Biggest Welcome Surprise(s): The Vast of Night; His House; She Dies Tomorrow

The Best Two Films I Saw This Year, Period: Satantango (1994); Harlan County, USA (1976)

[bachelordaniildankovsky]

To anyone asking how I got up here it's very simple, I jumped from the stairway to heaven you see in the background onto the rooftop. It's pretty easy to do so, so feel free to try it yourself. The tourniquet was bc I missed my first time though and was concerned Daniil would die when I jumped down lmao.

marble nest easter egg

[utopians]

at the club pushing my way to the front of the crowd and shouting over the noise at the dj to play the pathologic classic hd menu theme until the bouncers grip me by the shoulders and drag me out for the 4th time tonight

[mychemicalficrecs]

hey :) i really enjoy fics with au‘s like working at disneyland, a horrow house thingy, youtube etc could you recommend some frerard ones?

Hi Nonny!

I have a whole bunch of AU fics in my bookmarks, I hope some of these work for you!

Frank/Gerard Job AUs

Companion by onceuponamoon, 34k, Explicit. A workplace AU. There’s a dude sitting in one of the high-backed chairs opposite the reception desk. Mostly obscured by a fake ficus plant between them, the guy probably wouldn’t have been noticeable save for the lazy sprawl of his legs, the Chucks contrasting against the floral rug.

Buy Handmade by jjtaylor, 19k, Mature. He knows something else is going to happen; his life isn't always going to be this. He just doesn't know what has to happen for that change to come, for him to wake up and become an artist with an Etsy page and a home studio, and to never have to see a cubicle again.

By the Numbers by shoemaster, 7k, Teen And Up Audiences. Accountant AU! Frank is an accountant, Gerard is an artist. Romcom ensues

As The Ink Dries by ViciousVenin, 22k, Explicit. Frank has a hard time not hating his job. He's so close to his dream of working as a reference librarian and yet, due to a few stupid choices, he's stuck doing processing and mending. Tasked with the same mind-numbing chores day after day, Frank feels he'll die of boredom -- that is, until Gerard is hired.

Pleathermouth Vegan Cafe by jedusaur, 6k, Mature and Teen And Up Audiences. Pleathermouth Vegan Cafe, says the sign in front of the next place on Gerard's job-seeking list, and he decides that it may be prudent to finish his cheeseburger before entering.

Faint of Heart by pikasafire, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. Ridiculous pathology!AU In autopsy, it is not a matter of life and death, it's a matter of DEATH AND LOVE! Frank Iero, the new registrar in the mortuary at Mercy hospital, was not expecting autopsy to be sexy, but he also wasn't expecting his hot new boss, Gerard Way. Featuring Cobra Funerals, sap, death by papercuts and LIFE THREATENING SITUATIONS (that don't necessarily involve corpses).

I never told you what I do for a living. by not0_fuckin_kay, 63k, PG-13 to NC-17. Frank Iero, male nurse at Pete Wentz's private hospital and possibly more to one new patient he can't keep his eyes off of. When a new pateint is brought in with amnesia, just days before Christmas, and with nothing but the clothes on his back and a strange drawing, it's left to Frank to find out who he is and what happened to him. When he does, it changes Frank's life forever, as he's thrust into love and health scares he never thought would complicate his life. This is the story of how he tries to make it through, juggling his job and his love-life and just trying to make things better. With Patrick the doctor, Bob the ward supervisor, Travis the unlikely therapist, and Mikey, the sometimes wannabe homicidal geek.

Meet Me Tonight in Atlantic City by croissantkatie, samanthahirr, 4k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard had every intention of calling out sick today. The last Employee Appreciation Day / Team Building Exercise had pushed him one trust-fall too far, and he'd vowed that was the last team-building activity HR would ever drag him into. Never again. No way. …until this year's activity turned out to be his role-playing kryptonite. An AU meet-cute at a Murder Mystery Party set in a speakeasy during the Roaring Twenties.

Hey Mr. DJ by shoemaster, 6k, Mature. Frank is a late night DJ, Gerard is an avid listener.

On the Midtown Direct by mistresscurvy, 24k, Explicit. Gerard Way has a system: a system for managing his life as a city architect, a system for being a single man living in a house in Jersey he still thinks of as his grandmother's and not his own, a system for finding one of the four solo seats in each car on the train into Manhattan every morning. He likes his system. It works. His system derails when Frank Iero sits across from him on the 7:59 Midtown Direct one sunny morning in May. A love story, one train ride at a time.

Tie Your Monster Down by stereomer, 26k, Explicit. A spy AU

Cover To Cover by silentdescant, 33k, Explicit. You've Got Mail AU. Frank owns The Shop Around The Corner, which specializes in classic and rare books, and Gerard is opening up a large branch of Way Books & Café down the street. They meet online and fall in love.

By the Book by mrsronweasley, 10k, Explicit. Frank Iero, the new English teacher, starts a teachers' book club. Wackiness (and dubious literary analysis) ensues.

Magic Hours by annemari, 8k, Teen And Up Audiences. "What the fuck?" Gerard asks, weakly. His heart's still trying to beat its way out of his chest. He's honestly used to dealing with ghosts by now, but he always startles when they do their whole "turning up out of nowhere to spook you to death" shtick. Also, this guy's not a ghost. So, seriously, what the fuck. "Who the fuck are you?" the guy asks, and Gerard splutters, because hey, this is their haunted house, so technically they're the ones who should be asking that.

An Emergency of the Heart by Bexless, 13k, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard's fat fucking birds have fat fucking asses.

Pizza 'verse by ladyfoxxx, 29k, Explicit. The AU where they all work at Brian's pizza store.

Only Going One Way by ataratah, jjtaylor, 73k, Mature. Crossover with due South. Constable Gerard Way of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and Detective Frank Iero of the Chicago PD team up find Mikey Way in a city where bowling alley score cards hide secret codes, where the good guys are either lying or undercover (and sometimes lying about being undercover), and where criminal bakers make drug-laced frosting.

Disney Verse by Roxy_palace, 31k, Mature and Explicit. Only two kinds of people worked at Disneyland Park, Anaheim, CA: Frank Iero, and everyone else. What happens when our cynical, maintenance-man-with-a-grudge meets new Disney employee, Gerard Way, a starry-eyed Mouse fanatic? Find out when you enter The Happiest Fuckin’ Place on Earth. Have a magical day!

[epicforblackmadonnas-blog]

The Break Down

I visited the birthplace of Hip Hop at 1520 Sedgwick Ave. in the Bronx, on a Friday afternoon.The neighborhood that birthed the genre is quiet, the building is tall and unassuming and nestled off the side of the highway. Few people are out, even mid day. The character of the neighborhood and it’s history are only made clear to me by the graffiti that laces the side of apartment buildings, flags that hang from windows, and the occasional car cruising by with it’s windows rolled down and the driver playing music. In the tight knit, neighborly community, everyone communes at the bus stop to pick up their children as they arrive from school.   I can understand how only about 50 years ago a genre grew infectious among this small community at block parties and neighborhood gatherings and eventually spread to other parts of the borough, city and world. According to data and statistics from market.com Hip Hop and Rap is one of the most popular genres of music in the past 10 years only falling behind pop and classic rock. The genre is especially popular among millenials (16-24 year olds), data from statista.com illustrates that Hip Hop/Rap is the second most popular genre of music for that age demographic. Like with most media, music has both indirect and direct influence over it’s consumers. Hip Hop is no different. This essay will explore the ways in which Hip Hop and beauty standards overlap and the effect on it’s consumers, particularly black femmes.        Hip Hop began in the Bronx, in the late 1970s. The genre was one that initially only included male artists until MC Lyte’s debut album release of Lyte as a Rock in 1988. Lyte was a pioneer for women in the genre and culture and created space for other Black female MCs within the genre. Contrary to modern day Hip Hop and beauty ideals, MC Lyte was said to have purposely worked to separate her image from her sound or appeal to her music. She “underplayed her beauty, without hiding it, because she was so determined to be respected as an artist and a person.” (hiphoparchive) While Black women became more prevalent and visible in Hip Hop as both Muses (in music videos) and rappers, the sexualization of Black women within the Genre also became more present. In the late 90s early 2000s, sex became ingrained in Hip Hop culture, this of course had an effect on the community of Black women looking to infiltrate it. Rappers like Lil’ Kim embraced their sexuality and were embraced by the Hip Hop community (but ultimately were still met with unattainable standards of beauty). Black women looking to be embraced by the culture but didn’t fit the expectation beauty put forth, sought other means of fulfilling Black beauty standards, like cosmetic surgery. A study published by the US library of Medicine National Institutes of Health depicts and discusses the increase in cosmetic surgeries from the year of 2006 to 2007. The most popular procedure among the Black community in that year was a Rhinoplasty (nose job). In recent years liposuction, breast augmentations and buttock enhancements like augmentations or lifts have increased. In her article “Are Beauty Standards Pushing Black Women Into Dangerous Back-Alley Surgeries?” Health journalist Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez says that the increase in the procedures in the Black community come from “the extreme societal pressure put on Black women to have an hourglass figure.” what she regards as the “ideal Black body type.”    Body type aside the Hip Hop community has also put forth ideals about hair type and skin tone within the Black community. An article on BET.com features some of the most forward lyrics by Rappers that blatantly express their preference or profess their love for lighter skinned women. On Eric Benet’s song “Red Bone Girl” Lil Wayne raps “I like them light skin, lighter than a feather/ And if she red hot, I’m biting that pepper.” The article also features a Travis Scott Lyric “Nothin' like the light-skinned mamacitas in H-Town /They got them pornstar big booties” which both glorifies women with lighter skin and sexualizes women with “big booties”. In a controversial 1997 cover story by Black feminist theorist and cultural critic bell hooks for Paper Magazine Kim. One of hook’s most notable pieces is Gangsta rap and the piano where she compares white maleness of Steward a possessive and predatorial male love interest of a mute woman named Ava in the movie, his presence strips her of her artistic dedication to playing the piano, sex becomes what takes precedence over her music. Yet their love is seen as non threatening, “natural” as hooks puts it. Where Black men in Hip Hop are considered misogynist and murderers so as depicted by white critics of the culture for rapping about these same sexual desires and committing the same offenses as white men. Hooks also points out that when critiqued for the culture of violence portrayed in gangsta rap, white critics don’t consider Blackness within the context of white supremacy. Hooks speaks to this when she writes  “To see gangsta rap as a reflection of dominant values in our culture rather than as an aberrant "pathological" standpoint does not mean that a rigorous feminist critique of the sexism and misogyny expressed in this music is not needed. Without a doubt black males, young and old, must be held politically accountable for their sexism. Yet this critique must always be contextualized or we risk making it appear that the behaviors this thinking supports and condones,--rape, male violence against women, etc.-- is a black male thing. And this is what is happening. Young black males are forced to take the "heat" for encouraging, via their music, the hatred of and violence against women that is a central core of patriarchy.”     In Paper Magazine Lil’ Kim speaks on her sexual image and music from an empowerment perspective. When hooks asks about her right to be a sexual being, with sexual desire, Kim’s response is about letting go of shame and taking ownership, when she says "We havin' sex. Tell whoever — make sure you tell 'em how good I did it!" Kim says she represents both, the liberated woman and the sexy girl of men’s dreams when asked. In many ways she was right her image became the quintessential image for Black femmes both in and outside of the Genre. Petite, yet curvy, skin that was a palatable brown tone and long straight dark hair. With this, even she had insecurities projected on her by men and the genre, she says in the interview she is still rebuilding her self esteem. Fast forward to modern day hip hop, between MC Lyte and Cardi B. Hip Hop is more forward than ever about who and what is beautiful, sexy, attractive, desirable. Especially in the age of social media. Data from smartinsights.com shows the growth of visual based social media platforms like instagram and snapchat among the millennial demographic. According to the data half of instagram’s users use the app daily and according to mediakix.com 50 million followers are maintained by the top 10 beauty instagram influencers,  meaning that, on the platform millions of people see their posts informing beauty standards daily. Black beauty standards are also informed by Hip Hop when taste makers of the culture   choose spouses who they go public with. Rapper, Kanye West for instance who is one of the most talked about artists in the genre right now, has used his brand to leverage his socialite wife Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian is a white woman who has often come under fire for appropriating Black culture, emulating Black features and profiting from it. While Black women who boast these same features naturally, are ostracized and even systematically discriminated against for these same things. Kardashian posed for the winter 2014 issue of Paper Magazine and the picture on the cover of the issue bore a striking resemblance to photos taken of a former slave and south african woman named Saartjie Baartman who was recruited and exploited by a white German man to be a spectacle for masses throughout Europe showing her nude body, special attention was brought to her large buttocks. In the picture Kim Kardashian mimics this by poking her own surgically enlarged butt out. Baartman’s naked body was a source of curiosity for Europeans, sometimes she was asked to perform native dances or play instruments while nude for audiences according to TIME. Kendall Jenner sister of Kim Kardashian has also been scrutinized for appropriating and benefitting from Black culture and emulating Black beauty standards. Jenner much like her elder sister, dates another Black rapper, Travis Scott, according to statista.com she follows close behind her older sister Kim, with the 7th most instagram followers in the world. She is known for her beauty brand Kylie Cosmetics that is most notable for its lip kits, that include a variety of lip glosses, sticks and liners. However, her marquee feature, her lips are cosmetically enhanced to emulate the features of Black women. While Black women have been ostracized for having large lips, the personality’s lips and lip kits have launched her to the top of the Forbes celebrity 100 after just three years of business according to the site, Jenner grossed almost a billion dollars. Many rappers and other taste makers in the culture (i.e. DJs, Hosts, Record executives, producers etc.) date women who fit into the ideal mold of Black beauty standards which according to Hip Hop Historian and Podcaster Byron Morgan includes being shaped similarly to a barbie doll in stature, with large breast, a large butt but a contrasting small waist. Rapper Merci D of rap trio Blemme says these same standards of beauty include Fair skin and eurocentric facial features like a narrow nose, smaller eyes and full but not oversized lips. The image of the most beautiful woman to hip hop is a woman who is not “too imposing” the rapper said in our interview. In 2016 Hip Hop producer Swizz Beatz posted a post VMA photo of he and other Hip Hop moguls Jay Z, Steve Stoute, Kanye West and Diddy with their wives/partners after the Video Music Awards. This photo perfectly illustrates that the features both Morgan and D refer in our interviews are necessary to be considered beautiful by the culture. When the photo first surfaced some took to the comments to point out the stark difference between the skin tones of these men and their wives. One comment read “Beautiful pic. Interesting that it’s mostly dark-skinned black guys with light-skinned women. We’ve come so far in the black community.” and ended with a thinking emoji. The women in the photo from Alicia Keys all the way down to Cassie fit into the aforementioned ideal beauty standard. Comments like the one under that photo that Swizz Beatz posted are much like comments other rappers and Hip Hop influencers have received when expressing a dislike or distaste for women who are conversely dark-skinned, with coarser textured hair, are fat or not coke bottle shaped, with wide noses and thick lips, women who are undeniably black and are not ambiguous as rapper Merci D put it. This younger generation of rappers has been unapologetic about their dislike for Black women, especially darker-skinned Black women. Rappers like Kodak Black and ASAP Rocky have made comments in recent years about dark-skinned Black women that fueled anger among many. In an interview with The Coveteur in 2013 rapper ASAP Rocky said that women had to be “fair skinned” to “get away with” wearing red lipstick. Rocky’s interview has since been removed from the site, however, his original remark can be found here. That comment from the interview with the site spurred many hateful memes about the subject matter. One meme portrays Black women as the character Mr.Popo from Dragon Ball Z a character that is literally the color black with bright red lips, who don’s a turban and gold hoop earrings. The meme reads “when darkskin girls put on red lipstick.”  A quick twitter search of “darkskin girls red lipstick” yields some pretty disturbing search results one tweet remarked “Dark skin girls with red lipstick give me nightmares.” Similarly Kodak Black took to an instagram live stream in 2017 where he remarked I dont really like Black girls like that sorta kinda after the backlash he received for his initial comments on the subject matter he responded by saying he only likes “red bones, he doesn’t like Black b------, like this” the rapper says as he gestures at his own skin, he only likes “yellow h---.” (6/26/17). Many took to the internet to say that the Rapper’s dating preferences were a reflection of self hate. What I would like to consider is how instances like the ones above and others, pressure Black women to conform to the standards of beauty that were previously outlined. In my interview with Merci D she states explicitly that getting a Brazilian Butt Lift and a breast augmentation are at the top of her list in terms of physical desires when she strikes big with music or writing, she also remarks that this desire could be rooted in the fact that she’s seeing women with these enhancements frequently in mainstream media and in the culture. The rapper also details the ways she feels pushed outside of the mold of ideal Black beauty standards due to her size. She says that at her first Kiki ball she didn’t feel completely comfortable because of the fact that she was fat and because she felt as if her expression of femininity wasn’t fully appreciated. Singer\songwriter K Michelle and even rappers like the esteemed Lil’ Kim are great Black women celebrity examples of how the negative effects of the pressures to be a “Beautiful” Black woman can be unsafe and detrimental to not only their self esteem but physical health. K. Michelle went on the talk show the real to talk about the state of her health following her enhancements to her buttocks. The songstress said “I’m having trouble with men right now, I thought maybe if I had a big ol’ a huge butt I’d get even bigger love.” She says she also got work done on her teeth and hips. The pain from complications of her buttocks surgeries even caused her to get checked for lupus. In the interview Michelle sympathizes with women who have gotten the same enhancement and are similarly having complications due to them but may not have the money to seek removal or help as she did. Rapper Lil’ Kim has been forthcoming about her love for plastic surgery and over the years she has grown to look much different from when debuted in the 90s. In 2016 when the rapper made an appearance on the reality show Love and Hip Hop fans and spectators made comments about the stark difference in skin color and facial features, comments accused the rapper of bleaching her skin. Although the rapper denied these allegations, the incident caused comments made by the rapper in the 2000 in Newsweek to resurface in the Newsweek article she  remarked “Guys always cheated on me with women who were European-looking. You know, the long-haired type. Really beautiful women [who] left me thinking, ‘How I can I compete with that?’ Being a regular black girl wasn’t good enough.” Through my interviews with Black Hair Specialist/Scholar Kameesha Tate, Rapper/Storyteller Merci D, Musician/Multi-instrumentalist Tyrone Wilkins Jr., and Hip Hop Historian/Podcaster Byron Morgan and  I also heard about the ways that these harmful standards of beauty birthed movements of resistance and self-love. The natural hair and body positivity movements were heavily referenced in my interviews with those listed above. As Tate stated in her interview the natural hair movement was born of the Black is Beautiful and Black power movements of the 60s. In the PBS documentary Black is Beautiful historian Tricia Rose says the the “Black is Beautiful Movement was an effort to sort of throw off the shackles of the way White supremacy constructed Black bodies they’re not as intelligent, they’re not human, they’re not as beautiful, they’re not valuable she also said that in order “to undo that one has to directly attack that ideology.” Which Tate elaborated more on in  my interview where she details her big chop and embracing of her natural hair despite negative comments from people some of whom were even her family, she says that the natural hair movement is about black women embracing their natural hair which is inherently political, because it can often be a matter of of contention in places of employment and schools. Merci D referenced Fatima Jamal, fatfemme on instagram as a source of inspiration and for being encouraged to accept her own body through being encourage to wear what she wants by the model. She says she’s witnessed Jamal embrace her body by wearing “dainty” and “feminine” clothes that hug curves that aren’t celebrated like her stomach. According to ThePerspective.com, the body positivity movement was founded in 1996 and encouraged self love and self acceptance as opposed to shame about one’s body and getting rid self imposed food restrictions.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 38

Early 60′s Sidney Lumet X 2:

✳️✳️✳️ “...You have a poet in you, but it’s a damn morbid one...”

Lumet’s 1962 powerful version of O’Neill’s stage play Long Day’s Journey Into Night. Superb ensemble performance by Katharine Hepburn, Ralph Richardson, and very young Jason Robards and Dean Stockwell.

A dysfunctional family of three drunks and a morphine fiend mother bicker and struggles with their own shortcomings, responsibilities and madness.

✳️✳️✳️ The Pawnbroker (1964), first mainstream American film to deal with the psychology of a holocaust survivor. But the combination of a bitter & lonely concentration camp survivor who became a Harlem pawnbroker, the black & Puerto Ricans stereotypes, the money as the only value left for the desperate Jew, Etc. didn’t gel. 3/10.

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Udo Kier’s plays the lead in the new Swan Song, a daring & heartbreaking tear-jerker about a very old gay hairdresser, the “Liberace of Sandusky, Ohio”, who escapes his nursing home in order to style a dead woman's hair.

Beautiful! The best film of the week.

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A thought-provoking documentary, I, Pastafari, about recent efforts by adherents of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (”FSM”) to be accepted as a “real”, non-satirical religion, mostly in The Netherlands and in Germany. "It is a serious offense to mock God". I found it an interesting argument on claimed faith and the nature of traditions. Long live Bobby Henderson!

R’amen!

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Yves Montand X 3:

✳️✳️✳️ First re-watch in over 20 years: Claude Berri’s ‘The Water of the Hills’ stories, AKA  Jean de Florette and Manon des Sources. Two classic period pieces of classic Provence-chic with Gérard Depardieu, Daniel Auteuil and Yves Montand. Deception, betrayal and revenge. 7+/10

✳️✳️✳️ First watch: Melville’s cool heist ‘policier’ Le Cercle Rouge, with Alain Delon’s glued-on porn-'stache. The ‘Red Circle’ is actually a ‘Red Herring’, as the Buddha quote in the epigraph was made up by Melville: The divergent  paths of unknowing men will come together inside the Red Circle... Yeah sure.

Now, off to see Rififi...

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Lennon’s Last Weekend, a Nothing documentary centered around the week-long interviews that Lennon gave DJ Andy Peebles of the BBC up until December 6, 1980, 2 days before he was killed.

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2 Directed by Tony Gilroy, again:

✳️✳️✳️ “I'm Shiva, the God of death.”

Michael Clayton must be my absolute favorite film from the last 20 years. I’ve seen it 12-15 times, and it’s perfect in every sense: every single frame, or cut, the soundtrack, his son Henry’s 'Realm and Conquest' sub-plot, the horses, Monsanto’s Karen Crowder’s double-speak... Every time I’m reminded of it, I'm ‘forced’ to watch it again. 

10/10

✳️✳️✳️ 2 years after Michael Clayton, Gilroy assembled many of the same players to do Duplicity: Tom Wilkinson & Denis O’Hare acting, James Newton Howard’s score, Robert Elswit DP, Etc. but this convoluted romance between two industrial spies who double and triple cross each other and everybody else is too clever, with too many complex plot twists. 5/10   

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Not a big David Lynch fan, and re-watching Blue Velvet for the second time after many years, I disliked it even more. The brilliant beginning, up to the discovery of the severed ear definitely signifies “This is Andalusian dog for the ‘80″. The rest of it, the sexual slavery, the masochism, voyeurism, fetishism of vintage pop songs left me completely cold.

(Photo Above) 

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Based on Michael Lewis’s book, The Big Short is another of my regular Guilty Pleasures housing market crash films. Because it’s about my 2004-2010 real estate investment career, and because I was there. 9/10

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More about the shuttered, big American Scam, Frontline’s The Retirement Gamble. I can’t believe that for half my life I let myself live within and (somehow) accept the system. Thanks, Sammy.

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“It’s the corn cubes!...”

Beatboxer Reggie Watts's A Live At Central Park (2012) - Funniest shit of the week!

(Prompt by a refresher on Metafilter.)

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Sex, Lies, and Videotape, Steven Soderbergh‘s pathological debut film. It influenced me so much, I even had the same wooden cassette cases, to keep my tapes. The four then-unknown actors were all incredible. 100% mature film, not by a 26 year old pisher. The only vague, unconvincing scene is Graham opening up to Ann at the end. 9+/10

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...Compared that to Bitter Moon, another late 80′s erotic ‘thriller’, Polanski’s unwatchable Merde. The man directed ‘Chinatown’ for Christ sake! Four terrible performances (including Polanski’s wife, Mariel Hemingway-lite), in a ‘daring’ exploration of ‘depraved’ sexuality. Truly awful.

1/10

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2 X National Lampoon:

✳️✳️✳️ Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of the National Lampoon, a 2015 documentary film. I wasn’t familiar much with that history.

✳️✳️✳️ And so, National Lampoon’s Animal House - First watch. I wish I saw it 40 years ago, then maybe it would have worth a chuckle or two. As it is, it was the worst film I saw this week.

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2 short documentaries:

✳️✳️✳️ Ice Ball, a short Vimeo story about Ice Harvesting in northern Minnesota.

✳️✳️✳️ The driver is red, an animated short about the hunt for Eichmann, told by an Israeli Mossad agent.

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The Swarm, a new French horror movie about anthropo-entomophagy (insect eating): Blood sucking grasshoppers!

Meh.

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(My complete movie list is here)