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shepcdr · 1 month ago

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i've been so incredibly scatterbrained as of late and i gotta get my butt back to writing. it's been my goal to talk and write with everyone i'm mutuals with, but the last time i properly reached out to all my mutuals was in february... just to help me organise my thoughts and jump back on that train, i'm putting this out as a plotting/starter call !!

aka i'll run into your dms, strike up plot ideas — or revitalise old chats that i've forgotten about — and write you something. does not matter if we already have threads or not. and if i've already been in your dms and forgot about them, feel free to treat this as a 'jude im in yr DMs' reminder button... or if i promised to write you smth and then didn't... 😅 or if you want to poke me abt a certain thread you're specifically waiting on. feel free to remind me here!!

i will crawl through my mutuals list eventually and reach out again to everyone regardless of whether you like this or not, but i'll start with these!

and re: my writing style... i occasionally try and wing it! love to see where a thread goes, love to send out memes and get them (though i'm trying to limit myself on both until i catch up with drafts again). but overall, i do lean more plot-oriented and would love to throw down ideas or at least introduce ourselves and then determine a simple setting/basic starter thread idea before getting into it!

we don't need to talk about everything and plan out the entire world/rship, but i like to have possibilities to swirl around in my brain, and shepard can be such a closed-off character in the start that it helps a lot ... + the fact that he has such a specific narrative arc emotionally and mentally means he can seem entirely a different person depending on which game of the trilogy we're talking. it helps to know which one you're most interested in writing within, and what we vibe with best — and, if your muse knows shepard throughout the trilogy or at least throughout m.ass effect 1 and 2, that change is something they have to navigate, and i'm always super down to help explore that!

#to be tagged.#i am gonna try to do a couple errands today first. Some point tho i will sit down with some m.alcolm in the middle in the bg and do this #i am a slooow writer but i still love to yap in the dms (tho. unfortunately.. i can be very slow at this as well...). i love to chat ideas #i wantttt to write w everyone and get to know ppls characters and such. love to yell at each other abt our special interests (the muses 💖)#shoutout meatbag. shoutout hel. shoutout havu. shoutout tuvi. the more recent victims of my text walling. im Extra annoying as of late #i get So into the zone when i know the general direction we're going. and i SO love reading everything abt a muse. PLEASE infodump!!#like. i once became mutuals with sb and their E.vil Within muse whom i knew nothing abt. never played the games. just saw their writing #loved it so much that i watched multiple playthroughs of t.ew 1 and 2 just to talk and to write with them. i am insane.#they and their s.tefano v.alentini still has a special place in my heart. but anyway i love ooc rapport!! ooc rapport made that happen #i admit im incredibly lazy and have a watch/read/play list going back a decade. + the media probably has to already appeal to me somehow #but it Could potentially happen. and even if it doesn't? i just love to talk and to read abt muses and writers' love for their muses #genuinely idc if we DM like once every couple weeks bc im the same. i open DMs. forget about them. remember weeks later. repeat cycle.#ok who's ready for the cycle to begin anew ASAP. 50k years of slumber over. i am the harbinger of discord character limit's destruction #another day in yappersville ☀️ \` * file: OOC.

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tethys-the-aquatic-sea-godness · 13 days ago

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Sarevok, his mother, and revenge

There are very few known information about lady Anchev, not even a canon name, but there's enough to know she mattered to Sarevok. The memory of her murder followed him through adulthood, and it's a huge part of his character. It's also one of the motivators behind his betrayal of Rieltar Anchev.

As usual, my rant is down there.

All that's really known about Sarevok and his mother is found within his diary.

"He [Rieltar] mentioned mother in our conversation: how I wasn't to be unfaithful to him as she had."

"I had a dream this night. My mother was talking to me, but as she did her face became bloated and discolored. Her voice became weaker as she spoke to me, telling me to save her from Rieltar. I could see the garrote cutting into her neck, but I did nothing. It was only a dream."

"Terribly sorry, 'father,' but my true parentage calls and you are in my way. I shall be sure to instruct the doppelgangers in the exact manner Rieltar should die. I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

-> I will never not be obsessed with this. The way Sarevok writes about both of his foster parents tells much about his feelings toward each of them. He refers to Rieltar by his first name or as "'father'" with quotation marks. However, he always refers to lady Anchev as "mother", even "My mother". It's a rare touch of sentimentality from him. His mother has no name, but she's the only character who gets an entry in Sarevok's diary that's not related to his plans.

It's interesting to see where the introduction of lady Anchev is.

-> The first entry about Sarevok's foster mother is right after the first entry about Gorion, Charname's foster father. It's a structural choice to have both parents who mattered to Charname and Sarevok follow each other on the page. It shows how they mirror each other as a parental figure, but also how they diverge, as Gorion is still alive at that point, but lady Anchev is dead. They also both unsettle Sarevok, albeit for different reasons. In true parent mode, Gorion was the one to spot Sarevok was up to something.

Now, let's look closer at the entry introducing lady Anchev.

It's the retelling of a dream (*cough* what you call a nightmare when you're not repressed *cough*), and from the way it's structured, there's reason to believe it wasn't intended to be there. It starts with "I had a dream this night", followed by lady Anchev's murder with graphic details, but Sarevok minimizes the previous lines with "It was only a dream". It reads like Sarevok woke up disturbed by his dream, went to write it down right away then minimized what happened when he saw what he wrote. He couldn't erase the ink, and crossing it out would've been even more telling than the words themselves. Note that this is Sarevok's diary, it's not supposed to be read by anyone but him, but there's still this reflex of minimizing anything that could be perceived as a weakness.

There are a few things to take into consideration when looking at lady Anchev's death. First, memories can get distorted, second, it's a dream, so not everything should be taken literally. Typically, when lady Anchev talks to Sarevok in his dream.

"Her voice became weaker as she spoke to me, telling me to save her from Rieltar. I could see the garrote cutting into her neck, but I did nothing."

-> Lady Anchev was strangled by Rieltar with a garrote, she would've had no air to shout, much less form a coherent sentence while her brain was running out of oxygen and her trachea was being crushed.

It's more likely Sarevok's own guilt speaking through her. His "but I did nothing" reads like an accusation at himself, and more importantly, an admission of failure and powerlessness. Hence the immediate minimization. The language he uses is also worth a closer look: "telling me to save her from Rieltar". She's not asking him to do it, she's telling him to save her. It's phrased like an order and reinforces the impression it's Sarevok's inner dialogue rather than anything lady Anchev ever said. The kind you'd get when you'd try to get yourself to move, but your body doesn't follow.

Sarevok has this dream as an adult, at the height of his power and on his way to godhood. Yet, he still cannot save his mother, not even in a dream. That's the powerlessness this dream/memory throws him back to. The child he was when that happened was unable to save his mother, nor should he be expected to, but Sarevok views that as his own inaction, not his inability: "I did nothing." Rieltar is the murderer, yet he's only mentioned in the dream. Technically, he's not even there, it's only Sarevok, his mother and the garrote. Sarevok's dream frames him as the cause of her death because he "did nothing".

It adds internalized self-recrimination to Sarevok's character, which fits his past as an abused child. The structure of the dream rests the responsibility of action on Sarevok rather than Rieltar, making the one who was 'weak' take the blame. Sarevok's quest for power remains even after his resurection because it's something rooted in his past, not his taint. The weak are to blame for what happens to them because they aren't strong enough to defend themselves. That's the twisted mindset he learned from Rieltar, because he's been the weak one at his mercy. The murder of Sarevok's mother is important, because it's the starting point, it's when that idea starts to sink in. Discovering he's a Bhaalspawn only cements that mindset by giving it a 'predestined' element. His very nature is to cause pain. It doesn't matter that it's not true, it becomes part of his misbelief and further taints how he interacts with the world around him. A part of that behavior is minimizing or outright dismissing anything that could make him 'weak', such as being upset by a nightmare of his mother's murder.

Even though Sarevok claims "It was only a dream", his plotting of Rieltar's murder contradicts that.

"I shall be sure to instruct the doppelgangers in the exact manner Rieltar should die. I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

-> Sarevok has many reason to kill Rieltar, some purely practical, but this, this is personal. Yes, he tries to lure Charname and their party into killing Rieltar, but how hard does he really try? He charms the whole city of Baldur's Gate, but lets his front crumble after a couple of valid questions from Charname? Charname's cooperation isn't necessary because he has set everything to frame them for the murder anyway. Sarevok isn't present when Rieltar dies, because he's busy having an alibi, he can't do the deed himself, or say anything he'd want to say, but he makes sure Rieltar dies in a manner where he'll still get the message. One that tells him exactly how long Sarevok has waited for this, how long Rieltar was fooled. Ever since her.

You don't get to know more about Sarevok's mother, not even in ToB, but there's a dialogue you can get when talking with Sarevok. It's a dialogue you get if you take his offer to swear a binding oath post resurection.

Sarevok: "[...] You have no remaining grudges from our earlier matches?" Charname: "No, not really. You paid for what you did." Sarevok: "I… paid for it. You do not still feel anger over what I did to your stepfather?"

-> There's a lot Sarevok did to Charname in BG 1 they could be mad about. Framing them for murder and sending multiple assassins after them among the most prominent. But the one Sarevok's mind goes to, the one he considers the most impossible to forgive is killing Gorion. Sarevok thinks of the emotional reason not to forgive him, not the attempts on Charname's life, which are numerous, but the murder of a caring parent. Because it's something he relates to. He held on to his grudge for years before he could do something about it.

When Sarevok is finally in a position to get revenge, he goes all out. He writes a letter to justify his absence at Candlekeep to Rieltar. The last sentence is interesting, because it's probably the only true statement in the letter.

Father, [...] I am also writing to tell you that I cannot attend the meeting at Candlekeep. [...] I am sorry that I will not be at your side. Sarevok

-> Sarevok is sorry he won't be there when Rieltar is killed. He'll have to be satisfied with knowing he was the one to make it happen.

The thing about Sarevok's revenge against Rieltar, is that it doesn't stop with killing him. No, that's too easy, too little. Sarevok also destroys everything Rieltar worked for. The iron conspiracy, the development of the Iron Throne on the Sword Coast, all of that was Rieltar's project at the start.

"While this is a great blow to the Iron Throne, it is the perfect opportunity for Rieltar to approach the Throne high council with his proposal."

"The Iron Throne council has agreed to support Rieltar's plan. He has been given all the resources he needs, as well as leadership of the project."

-> Sarevok took over Rieltar's own plan and once his control was total and his own personal goal (being named grand duke) was within reach, he ran this entire, brand new, branch of the Iron Throne into the ground.

"I have been sent from Sembia to determine why this branch of the Iron Throne has foundered [...]."

"I will not debate that he [Sarevok] is in control, but whatever his plans, they certainly do not have the good of the Iron Throne in mind. He has abandoned us in favor of his new position [...]. We are simply to be cast off, and I would not be surprised if the marches the Flaming Fist through here tomorrow as a show of his stance on mercantile crime!"

"I only know business, and what he is doing makes very little economic sense. [...] As it is, he is seemingly intent on abandoning us and launching a bloodbath of a war."

Valdis (Charname): Then you won't mind if I help myself to your coffers, will you? Pang Wallen: Bah, they are nearly empty regardless! Sarevok has been making decisions on the sidelines for some time now, and it has cost us all plenty. He does not seem concerned with profits or much of anything! The iron shortage became his pet project, but he has used it to inflame tensions instead of build business! He's brought us down as sure as if he was some 'hero'. [...]

"He throws away gold like it was copper, and uses our best laid plans to inflame governments instead of bargaining for wealth!"

Tralithan: Oh, wonderful. I recognize you from the descriptions given. You are the one accused of murdering our leaders, are you not? I suppose you are here to exact revenge or some such? Well, we are already defeated by one of our own and do not need you. You would do better to focus your efforts on Sarevok, rather than beating up those already beaten. Valdis (Charname): Why would he turn his back on the Iron Throne? Tralithan: Because he was never interested in us in the first place. [...]

"He secures himself as leader of the Iron Throne and then all but destroys its mercantile credibility by practically sacking it!"

-> At this point of the story, Sarevok has more or less won (he's not aware Charname has escaped yet), the Iron Throne has served its purpose and he no longer has a use for it, however, there's no need to destroy it. The scapegoat of the iron crisis was always Amn and most people ate that up. Sarevok could let his plan runs its course, without making another move on the Throne. Instead, he ruins the Iron Throne and targets them with Baldur's Gate's guards. It's a bit of a disservice to his plan, because he already had their leaders assassinated, now he's ruining their business. He knows how the Throne works, he knows they'll send people after him, he just doesn't care. He knows he can defeat anything they throw at him at this point. Sarevok doesn't run Rieltar's operation into the ground because it serves a purpose for him, he does it because he wants to. He doesn't only kill Rieltar, he destroys everything he built on the Sword Coast.

It's not the only time Sarevok makes a 'scorched earth' plan against someone he has a personal grudge against, the other being Gorion's ward and the Candlekeep chapter, but that should've its own post.

Conclusion: Sarevok's affection for his mother is showed in a subdued and repressed way. There's never any vocal expression of it, but it's in his thoughts even when he doesn't want it to be, like his dream. It's built in his plans when he wants Rieltar killed the same way he killed her. She's not the only reason Sarevok tears down all of Rieltar's work, but she's a fundamental one.

"I think a garrote would be perfect for the task."

It's the last sentence of Sarevok's diary. This is what the one insight you get into Sarevok's mindset in BG 1 closes on. He doesn't talk about himself or his future godhood here, indirectly he talks about her. Sarevok denies it matters on paper, but unconsciously contradicts his claim. It hints at where Sarevok's weak points are. He's not fully self-aware, he doesn't overcome pain or weakness, he denies that he experiences either.

It never is 'only a dream'. Lady Anchev is haunting Sarevok. Killing Rieltar and ruining his work isn't just about her, but the closing statement of his diary is.

#baldur's gate 1 #bg 1 #baldur's gate 2 #bg 2 #sarevok anchev #rieltar anchev #observations on sarevok series #yeah it's a series now #why do i overthink these so much it's not rocket science #i know i'm just procrastinating actually posting them #obviously lady anchev's murder isn't the only thing but it's part of his foundation #really think sarevok can't get Better (tm) until he deconstructs that baggage #situations between sarevok killing gorion vs rieltar killing his wife are vastly different #but i don't think that hits home with sarevok at this point all he sees is the act #yes off screen fridged woman for a male character storyline #those were the days #still are the days actually #since b'g'3 decided it was better to erase two female characters from sarevok's storyline to replace them with two awful oc #because it's sooo progressive to write female characters entirely built around being the victim of a man #much woke there #option 1: give more lore to tamoko and lady anchev so they exist outside of sarevok #option 2: erase them and replace them with characters that only exist by butchering sarevok's character #also erasing a female poc character from a work of fantasy?#because the genre is OVERFLOWING with them right?#yeah i get off tracked in the tags it's my stream of consciousness without any filters

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