#do we even know how old Marian is supposed to be?

[ladyofpembroke]

I feel like we haven’t seen much interaction between Marian and Bertha and George this season and I’ve really missed it. I feel like there could be doylist and Watsonian reasons for it.

For the watsonian reasons, in s1 the Russells had few friends in high society, Marian was one of the first to break with convention to socialize with them. In s2, they are pretty established in society and have chosen to associate with those of higher societal prospects as well as those rich enough to buy a box at the metropolitan. They have invited Marian to a few events, enough to not be rude, but have left her off the list for more prominent events.

For Doylist reasons, I think one of the reasons that Marian has been interacting less with the older Russells is because Louisa Jacobson’s lack of large age gap with Carrie Coon and Morgan Spector. Louisa is 32, Carrie and Morgan are 42 and 43, respectively. While the actors who play the Russells children are also playing younger and are 30 and 29, their characters are played as somewhat more immature than Louisa plays Marian. Last season, the interactions between Marian and the older Russells felt (to me at least) less like a young woman talking to someone around her parents’ age and more like peers talking. Maybe the writers felt this way too and sought to create some social distance between them.

[male-body-swap-lover]

Becoming the Old Man Next Door

Carter Austin was annoyed that he had to be home for his parents 30th wedding anniversary. The model was only in town for one night, and even that was too much. He hated Fairview and missed the fast life of New York. The 28-year-old was one of the hottest models on the scene and couldn’t believe he was wasting his weekend in his childhood bedroom.

Hon, we are so excited that you are home. We’ve missed you.

You know how busy I’ve been mom. I’m one of the hottest models. I’m constantly booked.

I know. We told Mr. Jarvis that you were coming home and he was so excited to see you.

Mom, I’m 28. I don’t want to go see our old neighbor.

Oh, just do it Carter. It’ll make him happy. He’s lonely. His wife has been dead for 20 years and he has no children. Just do it.

Fine.

I went next door and rang the doorbell. Mr. Jarvis answered the door. I forgot how fat he was.

Austin my boy. So good to see you. Come in come in. Sit down. I’ll get you a drink.

As I sat in his living room, I looked around at his depressing life. The room seemed straight out of the 1970’s, and it reeked of tobacco. 15 minutes. That’s all I need.

Here’s a coke. So, tell me about New York.

It’s fun. I travel the world. I’m one of the top models out there.

I know. I’ve followed you. You are quite the good-looking young men. I bet ladies throw themselves at you.

I get my fair number of women. And men. I don’t discriminate.

I wish I had your life. My life was always boring. And it’s been worse ever since Marian died. I live a lonely life.

Well not everyone can have my life. This coke tastes weird.

That’s because it’s not coke at all. It’s a special potion. You see Carter, I’m tired of being an old man who never did anything with his life. I want a life in the fast lane. So, I am going to steal yours.

What. That’s not possible

I stand up and try to move, but I can’t. It’s like I am frozen in place.

Carter, look in the mirror. Can’t you see the changes have already begun.

As I stared into the mirror, I could see the wrinkles start appearing on my face. Suddenly I started breathing heavier as I felt myself get older. I ran my hands through my hair and it came out in chunks in my hand. I tried to run, to get out, but couldn’t move. My skin was aging. I could feel my youth leaving my body. Passing 30. All of my hair fell out. Passing 40. Stubble appeared on my face. Then it stopped. I looked in the mirror. Damn. I’m fucking old, but I’m fucking hot.

Haha old man. I’m still fucking hot. Look at me. Your plan failed.

You aren’t very smart are ya Carter. That was just step one.

Step one! I turned to him and saw that somehow his hair had grown back in and he looked middle aged. It’s like my hair and age went to him!

Yes, there are three steps. Let’s start step number two.

With that he clapped his hands and suddenly I felt bloated. My stomach was starting to rumble. I looked in the mirror and my face was bubbling. Suddenly it felt like I was blowing up like a balloon. 10, 20, 50, 100, 150, 200 pounds of fat just suddenly appeared on my body. For some reason as I grew, my clothes grew with me.

I was a whale. No one would ever recognize me. It was absolutely disgusting. I used to make fun of people who looked like this. Now I was one of them. I turned and looked at my captor. He looked good. He was so skinny. It’s like all of his weight transferred to my body! He was hot! I was so jealous. Wait he said this was step two, what was step three going to be?!

Damn, I never even looked this good when I used to be in my 40’s. This is amazing. I bet you are wondering about step three. Well, I suppose it’s time to start the final step. Get ready to say goodbye to any remaining part of your old life.

A wave suddenly washed over me. I could feel the life force draining from my body. My facial hair was turning white. My back pain was killing me. I could feel pain everywhere in my body. Arthritis. But I’m only 28. What is happening. I didn’t even think this was possible.

I’m Marvin Jarvis. Wait what! No I’m not Marvin… I’m um….i’m um. What is going on. It’s like I am losing my memories.

What are you doing to me. Why can’t I remember my name. Why do I think I’m you.

Because, Marvin, that’s part of step three. I become you and you become me. We might not look exactly the same, but the world will change to suit us. Why don’t you look at your license.

I could barely reach my wallet. I pulled out my driver’s license. It still said Carter Austin, and then it changed. Marvin Jarvis. 81 years old. 375 pounds. I looked at the photo and then at my reflection in the mirror. There was the same old man. Me!

You’ll never get away with this.

I already have. Your old memories will continue to slip away until you become Marvin Jarvis. Meanwhile, I’ll get your memories and live out my life again. A world-famous model. Carter Austin. My life is set.

Suddenly my mom entered the house.

Hello Marvin. I just came to get Carter. Dinner is ready.

I wanted to scream out. To tell my mom what happened. All that came out was “Of course Karen. It was lovely seeing Carter again. What a fine man he has become.”

Mom, I am just going to hug Mr. Jarvis goodbye and then I’ll be home.

Okay. See you soon honey. Goodbye Marvin.

The new Carter came and hugged me. Good luck Mr. Jarvis. You’ll need it. Don’t forget to take your heart pills, and back pills, and all the other pills. Don’t drive at night. Also, your social security check barely covers basic living expenses. Haha. Better get one last look at me. This is the last time you’ll see me. I’m never coming back to this hodunk town.

I started crying as the new Carter Austin left. He may not have looked exactly like me, but what does it matter. The world believes he is Carter and I am Marvin.

I sat down because my knees were giving out. I tried to remember everything about my old life, but I could feel it slipping away. I’m trapped. There is nothing I can do. You know what sounds good right now. A good pipe. I wonder if NCIS is on. 6:30pm. Almost time for bed. Well, maybe being an old man isn’t going to be so bad after all.

[ladystrallan]

Once Upon a Time season 4B thoughts

I’m rewatching OUAT and I wanted to share some of my opinions on each season!

- I think the life she always wanted was for you to not be evil

- Camelot mention

- Okay that’s actually kinda nice

- Rumbelle travelling together would be so cute

- Robin… stop brooding and get a DIVORCE

- When is Marian Zelena? Waiting for my girl to come back

- Wow that’s cool of Marian

- Still annoying though

- Yeah… don’t call me grandma

- A dalmatian… Cruella?

- Oh no she got kidnapped!

- Bye Robin lol

- You kidnap my girl, you will die

- “Why do you care about me?” “… I don’t” HE WAS GOING TO SAY I LOVE YOU

- Rumple getting exposed…

- This is making me so anxious omg

- Oooh belle with the dagger

- Omg she’s gonna command him to cross

- “Your true love is power” omg nooooo

- This is DEVASTATING

- NOOOOOOOOO

- I’M CRYING THIS IS SO SAD

- “Everyone deserves their happy ending” except rumple apparently

- I LOVE this interpretation of Cruella!

- Her animal control powers are so cool and I love the green smoke like in her movie

- Regina is mayor again… don’t know how that happened

- What if… I don’t want them to be released

- Her name in the land without magic is still Cruella??? Isn’t that suspicious?

- Get in loser, we’re going to storybrooke

- Not the drive thru…

- She taped the picture back together… can’t she just magic it back together?

- Is that chernabog?

- He also used to give me nightmares

- Loving all the fantasia content this season

- “Is there a dwarf called Evilly?” Lol

- IT WAS GOING AFTER EMMA

- The charmings have a juicy secret

- Cruella’s matching phone case… iconic

- “Is there a problem sheriff chiseled chin?” Lol

- WHAT DID HOOK DO???

- Ooh maleficent is pregnant! (I remember that lily is her daughter)

- Omg the rattle

- Maleficent’s modern outfits are so slay

- She has a similar style to Zelena

- Since when was there a train in storybrooke??? It has to be in the town lines obviously

- Using a sleeping curse concoction to get high lol

- Did young regina borrow one of rumple’s outfits? It looks like it

- OMG IT WAS RUMPLE

- Rumple is going to beat up will so hard lol

- Noooooo I hate there not being Rumbelle

- YASSSS August is back!

- Ursula has the exact same backstory as Ariel

- But I do like the idea that she used to be a mermaid

- I have a feeling that’s not actually Robin

- Oh it was a dream

- Sometimes the cgi in this show is downright scary

- Not the growing nose

- Loving these villain backstories

- Awwww Ursula redemption

- “It’s you” AWWWWWWW

- I love captainswan

- Omg young emma ripping snow’s heart out

- Ooh they’re setting up the dark swan arc

- THATS THE AUTHOR (I remember him)

- Ugh I hate Isaac

- That’s actually so sinister (the charmings stealing maleficent’s baby)

- And to ‘ensure Emma’s goodness’

- Like maybe just raise her right???

- Rumple stop being evil I’m begging you

- Oh that’s how ursula and cruella ended up in TLWM

- I LOVE WALT DISNEY BEING AN AUTHOR

- Kinda ironic that the thief gets stolen from

- Not the taxes

- “If this is new york I’d hate to see the old one” lol

- Not rumple having a heart attack…

- OZ MENTION

- Hopefully this means my girl Zelena is coming back soon

- “That’s not the marian I know” foreshadowing

- YASSSSS ZELENA IS SO SLAY

- Even when she’s threatening rumple

- Her plan to disguise herself as marian is 10/10

- She’s so smart

- Not Cruella’s mom using dalmatians to threaten her

- Fun fact about me is that I don’t like dogs at all (I’m a cat person)

- Cruella being able to control maleficent as a dragon is so cool

- EX HUSBAND???

- Noooooo rumbelle should still be together

- YASSSS THEY KISSED

- not Will…

- NOOOOO IT WAS REGINA CONTROLLING HER

- Regina literally stop

- You’re supposed to be redeemed but you’re literally leveraging belle (who is innocent) against rumple

- Doesn’t seem like a very heroic thing to do

- “I know a nice quiet spot where we can… talk” seems a little serial killer-y

- All the little details in this show are perfection

- Like Cruella’s favourite song being the Cruella de Vil song from the movie

- FaceTime ransom

- Ooh emma doesn’t trust her parents

- Noooooo not the mom

- Ohhhhh yikes backstory

- I like how they sympathized/redeemed Ursula and Maleficent but when they got to Cruella they were like nope she’s just a psychopath

- Emma’s going dark omg just about to punch that guy

- Ooh rumple is going to beat will’s ass

- “Alright scrappy” lol

- SHE LIED

- Emma should have mentioned that she knows her birth mother

- Nooooo that is so sad that Emma never got a good family as a kid

- She got copped out so many times (Ingrid, these people)

- Nooooo rumple saying will is going to protect belle’s heart

- I NEED THEM BACK TOGETHER ASAP

- Okay the fact that Zelena tricked Robin into getting her pregnant is very yikes

- Yikes I forgot Regina sterilized herself

- THE HEROES AND VILLAINS BOOK

- The ogres are back!

- I love hero!rumple

- Would he be called ‘the light one’???

- “Come on Henry please be dead” lol

- Isaac is literally so stupid he can’t even remember the story that HE WROTE

- “Hi ho boys, it’s off to work we go” that sounds so funny when you say it ominously

- Villain!snow >>> hero!regina

- I said what I said

- Omg Snow actually being in love with James???

- LOL ZELENA BEING ROBIN’S FIANCÉE

- I just noticed charming’s guyliner lol

- He is called the light one!!!

- THE CHIPPED CUP

- I love a good stop the wedding plot

- OMG SHE’S TURNING GREEN AGAIN

- “I don’t love Will” YASSSSS

- KISS HIM BELLE

- Aaaaaaaa I hate stuff with black eyes

- Ooh dark swan set up

How I feel about the characters this season

Love: Zelena, Hook, Emma

Like: Cruella, Belle, Ursula, Maleficent, August

Neutral: Rumple (it pains me to put him here), Lily, David, Snow, Henry, The Apprentice, Will Scarlet

Dislike: Regina, Robin

Hate: Isaac

Season rating: 6/10

I really like Cruella, Ursula, and Maleficent! I think the writers made really cool interpretations of their characters. I was not a fan of Rumbelle not being together, Regina and Robin getting a lot of focus, and Isaac. I HATE ISAAC. The season was pretty engaging though. Probably would have rated it lower if not for the villain girlboss trio (and Zelena).

[feline17ff]

Sparrow Hood and the Fox Adaptation

By @the-lavender-creator, @thelivingmemegod and @feline17ff

Summary: Sparrow and his Merry Men watch Disney's animated adaptation of the Robin Hood tale.

AO3 link

Notes:

There aren't really names for the Merry Men kids in EAH canon that we know of, so we made some up! Tucker: son of Friar Tuck Johnson: son of Little John Wilson Scarlett: son of Will Scarlett Much II: son of Much the Miller's Son We used this website as reference for who the Merry Men are in the first place, and as a basis for those characters.

Sparrow downs a soda while one of his Merry Men puts a DVD into a TV they snuck into their hideout. Apparently, it was something Maddie Hatter had given one of his men. Sparrow was already preparing for it to be really bad when he saw the cover art, depicting a fox in his dad’s iconic outfit. He’s not expecting much at all.

His expectations were dropped further when the movie started with a chicken doing the narrating, and then King John was introduced as a maneless lion. “So, I’m guessing none of the characters in this are human? Place your bets for who everyone’ll be! I’m guessing Maid Marian will be a chicken or kangaroo or something.” As soon as he finished that thought, Maid Marian showed up on screen in the form of a fox as well. One of the Merry Men shakes his head, “That doesn’t fit her character role at all.” “Did they make her a fox like Robin Hood because they wanted them to date and didn’t want, like, cross-species romance or something? Just take the romance out, it’s not that important anyways!” Sparrow scoffs.

Once the introduction ends, the group all sings along to the Robin Hood and Little John song. That’s been passed down through the Hood family, but this generation tends to prefer their rock rendition of the song. Oh well- they still know the original version by heart.

Shortly after the song starts, they actually start enjoying the movie! It’s stupid and it has stunts that could only be performed in cartoons- but it’s funny!

Sparrow even sheds a tear when King John starts sucking his thumb in the mud! There’s a lot of this, the Merry Men almost drowning out the movie in their laughter. Though a warm sense of nostalgia still hits Sparrow. This is exactly how his dad would tell it, though with more humans and less cartoon logic, but he’s not admitting that. After a few minutes of Robin and Little John hanging out and doing their thing, one of his Merry Men looks over at him. “I don’t think any of our other parents are gonna be in this.” All of the Merry Men- with the exception of Johnson, son of Little John, and Tucker, son of Friar Tuck- nod in unison. “That sucks. They can’t just cut out most of the Merry Men, they’re a big part of the story! Plus, I wanted to see what animals they’d be,” that’s always been Sparrow's biggest gripe with most retellings, the lack of Merry Men! He doesn’t get why they almost always cut his bros from the story. He doesn’t really care about how accurate it is beyond that.

"Hey, Friar Tuck's in this!” Tucker beams, as soon as he sees the interpretation of his dad. They continue watching and see him help out an injured blacksmith, making him smile even more. “And he’s a great guy, just like my old man!” Then they see him dig both his and the blacksmith’s graves when he made him walk with coins in his cast, making them jangle and alerting the sheriff. His friends looked at him as the blacksmith jangled forward. Tucker pinched the bridge of his nose, “My dad would never be that careless, you guys.” “We never said that was your dad.” Tucker thought for a moment until it clicked, “Hey! I’m not that careless!” “Oh yeah? What about the time you stole one of Briar’s necklaces to give to Ashlynn because you didn’t know she isn’t poor, and then found out that the necklace was a gift from Ash in the first place?” “How was I supposed to know that?! You would’ve made the same mistake!” “Uh, no. The necklace’s pendant had the words ‘to my best friend Briar, love Ashlynn’ engraved on it.” “‘The necklace’s pendant had the words nah nah nah’,” He grumbled, mockingly. “Just play the hexing movie!” He pouted and sat back down. “And that’s not even counting that Ashlynn is one of the most famous princesses at Ever After,” but his voice drowned out as Tucker increased the volume.

They continued watching and Tucker almost shouted, "What the hex? Did- did the Sheriff just steal a little kid's birthday gift? What the hex- what the hex," his voice slowly turning into a whisper as he kept on repeating himself. “No wonder our parents did what they did…”

The archery contest comes on and Sparrow starts complaining about how lovey-dovey Marian and Robin are. Is it because he’s aromantic, or because this is exactly how his parents are? Probably a mix of both. He spends most of the fight scene swinging between cheering on the characters kicking butt, and rolling his eyes at the romance. The merry men all agree though, that Klucky and Little John are the MVPs of the fight.

Afterward, they all get ‘The phony king of England’ thoroughly stuck in their heads during the party scene, and sing it going into the scene of Prince John raising all the taxes even more, and the despair that follows. Sparrow’s heard this story probably more times than he could even count, so he ends up telling them what happens. After a bit, Johnson asks, "They're- they're really going all out with the 'rich vs poor' idea, huh?" as they watch baby rabbits being chained up in jail, followed by the injured blacksmith's other leg being in a ball and chain, rendering him entirely unable to walk. "Yeah, they really went all out," Sparrow gulped.

The belly bump fight between the Sheriff and Friar Tuck before his arrest did garner a ridiculous amount of light laughs from the boys "What in Ever After," they said between giggles.

Sparrow didn't hide his intrigue when fox Robin started ziplining the bags of gold out of the tower, "That's smart," he said. But he retracted his statement when he painfully watched Robin try to get the last two bags of gold, "That's so dumb! He’s practically trying to wake the prince up! My dad would never do that." “Yeah, but you probably would if you got to keep it for yourself.” “Hey!” Sparrow rolls his eyes at his traitorous friend, but follows it up by laughing at his own expense.

Everyone watched the climax intensely. Of course Robin Hood would win, and of course Little John and Friar Tuck would make it out alive, but knowing that didn't make it any less exciting! They rooted for the good guys, they booed the king and his posse, and there was even a string of "Aww"s when the rabbit cutely thought he had hit a baddie but it was actually Robin Hood.

They were so engrossed that Much (the Second)'s "Wait a splinter!" made Tucker fall off the bean bag chair he was lounging on. "What the hex, Much!?" "Doesn't the snake have hypnosis powers?" They took a second to recall it then murmured in agreement. "Why isn't he using that anywhere? What was the point of telling us that but not using it in the movie?" There was silence, then Wilson Scarlett finally said, "No clue," and pressed play.

None of them pay too much mind to the wedding scene at the end, and they end up delving into the plans used in the movie and what they’d change… well- Johnson and the other Merry Men do, Sparrow is just kinda going with it all. The only thing he’d really like changed is the overabundance of romance and the unfunny violence.

Once they’ve gotten sick of talking about the movie, Tucker goes to return the DVD to Maddie while Sparrow and the rest of the Merry Men set up for band practice.

---

Come at me @stone-cold-style

[Puss in Boots voice] If you dare.

MWAHAHAHAHA 😈

[sweetmage]

Found some old cut text from my fic Handers/tranquil!Hawke Your Fading Light.

This was actually a rather silly/lighthearted scene involving Anders, the Hero of Ferelden, and Ser Gilmore (who is alive, well, married to my Warden, and a Skyhold gaurd in all of my AUs).

It was supposed to come at the beginning of chapter 6 and it was my intention to add some levity before two very heavy chapters, but my plans involving my Warden changed so I had to cut it.

I'll post it below the cut for anyone who wants to read it!

They were met out front by two guardsmen, one of tall, broad stature with his flaming hair pulled back into a low braid [a/n: Ser Gilmore], the other one more lithe with a mess of curls that fell around his neck and imposing chops on the sides of his face [a/n: HoF Edan Cousland]. They didn't look up, lost in the midst of what appeared from their demeanors to be a longstanding squabble. Any attempts to catch their attention proved fruitless.

"The last I'd heard you were needed in Highever," the man with the red hair said, eyes narrowed to a disapproving crease.

"Funny dear, because I do seem to recall your letter reaching me first," the other man countered, clearing his throat before doing a poor impression of the man at his right. "Oh how I gaze out through the misty air on my patrols, thinking of your warm embrace, needing your hand in mine. Oh how--"

"Enough!" The first man silenced him, the climate-induced flush over his cheeks darkening into something more telling. He bit back, "That was not a formal request and you know it."

Anders rolled his eyes and turned to the others to find them doing much the same thing.

"A spell to the foot might get their attention," Anders suggested bitterly, ready to see his way out of the cold and into their quarters. "How likely do you think they are to take me prisoner like all the other mages?"

"They aren't even looking, let's just--" Carver was cut short because Marian was already putting his plan into action, walking right by the bickering guards with Lil Guy sandwiched between her and Fenris, holding their hands. "Beat me to it, sister." Carver, too, moved on ahead leaving Garrett and Anders in the rear.

"Come on," Anders urged him, guiding him slightly ahead to catch up with his sibling. Anders was the last to enter the gate, muttering beneath his breath, "If I have to have to listen to another second of them bickering like an old married couple--"

"We ARE married!" Both guards snapped in unison before coming to the sudden, startling realization.

"Halt!" The one with the braid said, drawing his sword, eyes severe. "State your business."

"You have got to be joking," Anders huffed, throwing his hands up in disbelief.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" The man asked, though it was clearly rhetorical. "State your business," he repeated.

Anders looked around the man to find Marian smiling sheepishly and waving, Fenris glaring, and Carver with his forehead buried in his palm. The man's eyes followed Anders's and then went wide.

"Blast it," he hissed, turning to the man with the mutton chops, wagging a finger at him. "Stay here, don't let him pass." He sprinted ahead to confront the others.

Unbelievable...

"Sooo..." The remaining man said awkwardly, hands propped on his hips, eyes wandering idly toward the distant snowcapped peaks behind Anders. "He is more charming than he seems, I assure you. But I do hope you understand why we cannot permit you to..." His brow furrowed and he leaned in, stroking the shaved center of his chin, scrutinizing him. "Hold on," he said, shock widening his eyes. "No... can it be? No, no..."

Right, this again. It was inevitable his reputation would catch up to him again. Even years on Garrett had reported seeing his face plastered in market stalls and pinned to Chanter's boards miles around. But why did it have to be here of all places?

"So what now?" Anders queried, "You turn me into your Inquisitor so he can do away with the filthy rebel mage? Mail my head in a box to his stuck up prince in exchange for a sensual stroke of his ego?"

"Oh, it is you alright. Ha! I thought I had sensed a fellow Warden," the other man laughed, his blue eyes crinkling in amusement. "I am terribly sorry for the misunderstanding. Please forgive him, you know how he is."

Did he know? Anders stared on in confusion as the man spun around and whistled to catch his accosting partner's attention.

"That lot arrived in the company of Anders, let them through."

Anders was rightfully dumbfounded, mouth agape. That was certainly the first and what would probably be the only time he'd ever heard that absurd sequence of words leave someone's lips.

The redheaded man glanced over his shoulder, looking Anders up and down with a critical eye before something seemed to click in him as well. However, he disregarded the statement, calling back, "He's with the Hawkes, let him through. I will see them to their quarters.

He was baffled beyond all belief, but with a quick nod to regard the wavy-haired man he proceeded onward, moving quickly to catch up with the others who looked as bewildered as he.

"Off to a great start," Marian remarked sarcastically when Anders was in earshot.

"Could have been worse," Anders replied, though his voice sounded far less confident. Miffed and slightly shaken by the encounter, he wound his way back to Garrett's side, fighting the urge to lean against him. "Now if the Inquisitor can just share that enthusiasm, we'll be fine." He pulled a wry smile, letting out a heavy sigh as the man led on and they shuffled forward, piling into the elevator.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Tuesday 10 November 1835

7 ¼

11 ½

no kiss ready in 50 minutes damp morning F48°  at 8 5 and sat over it talking to A- till 9 - came upstairs for ¼ hour and at accounts - then left A- to go to Cliff hill and I went out into the farmyard and about in the fields till 11 50 when George told me A- would stay at Cliff hill tonight and John said he had brought 2 letters from her from H-x (1 from Huddersfield Miss Atkinsons and 1 from Mr Barber Leeds) - opened the latter  - wrote A- a kind note a ½ sheet full containing copy of what I advised her writing and sending back by George to post to Mr Barber in brief answer to his rigmarole of 3 pages and ends - thank him for his letter would have made no objection to paying his expense had he come - but glad he did not come - glad he was saved the useless trouble of the journey ‘as  I am satisfied you are not at all the sort of person I am in want of for my intended school - I had no expectation that anyone of your superior education and attainments would have answered my advertisement; and I can only hope that you will soon meet with a situation much more likely to suit you than a village school like mine -  I am sir, your obedient servant’ - went out again at 12 40 - saw the men at work again at 1 ½ and came in - a little light shower sent me in - fair in less than ½ hour - dressed    at my desk at 2 - I think more and more A- and I will never go on together forever I felt this strongly on Sunday at church even last night just before getting into bed she was in one of her out of sorts humours I knew not what for unless that I asked for the plan I got done of the old church some time ago she has a queer temper and as she gradually begins to have a will of her own her queerness her requiring much attention her emptiness as a companion strike me more and more her leaving me shall be her own doing but I hope I shall be ready when the time shall come and not fret myself to death about it till 2 ¼ wrote the above of today - from 2 ¼ to 4 ½ wrote 2 ½ sheets full nice enough kind chitchat letter to Lady Stuart - had Charles H- up - no deals good enough at Hainsworth’s - Charles told the foreman they loose not worth 6 ¾ per ft.- saw Hainsworth himself who that was mistake - were 6 ¼ per ft.- told Charles I would not have bad wood - to see if Greenwood had any good deals - if not, to take Mark Hepworth and his wood waggon and go to Harrison at Leeds on Thursday - then went down to Mr Husband for a minute or 2 - he brought me the bill for Adney bridge labour £39+ - including these interruptions from 4 ½ to 6 ¾ wrote and sent 3 pages of ½ sheet and under the seal to Lady Stuart de R- and enclosed my letter to her ‘The Lady Lady Stuart de Rothesay’ and my letter to ‘the honourable Lady Stuart’ under cover to the ‘Lord Stuart de Rothesay Highcliffe Christchurch Hants’ - and sent also A-‘s letter to Mr Barber 7 Alfred Place Leeds - dinner at  6 50 - coffee - went to my father and Marian about 8 and staid reading the paper (latterly alone) till 9 - letter tonight from Mr Johnson ‘107 Regent street London’ dated yesterday the 2 first containing a copy of a letter to Mr Johnson from a Mr Davey who Mr Johnson thinks very likely to suit us for the Lightcliffe school - the account Mr Davey gives of himself what is said of him by Mr Johnson is very promising - he about 38 or 40 married but has no children except an adopted niece of his wife’s - seems a very clever sort of man - I am taken with the description - How A- may feel upon it is another matter - seems to be assez fort is mathematics and all we want - was instructed in the Central National school about 13 years ago -  Began my letter to Lady Stuart with ‘A letter from Vere a few days ago inquires if I am yet alive - I think I should scarcely know that I am, were I not roused by the incidental remark ‘aunt Stuart never mentions you so I suppose you are equally communicative to her’ - I see that I seem to forget even those whom I most constantly and affectionately remember - this is too much - I meant merely to wait till you would be about arriving at Highcliffe - Perhaps you have already been there a fortnight or 3 weeks - the happiness of all around you, the fine sea-breezes, the place you like best next to your own pretty Lodge, must surely have done you good, and this satisfies me - for I am not so unreasonable as to fancy you have had many thoughts to spare for me - But do not quite forget me - the very shadow of a fear of being absolutely forgotten would only add to the melancholy of my tied down here’ - should be delighted to join the  Xmas party at Bradfield house but I cannot leave home -.....’I sometimes half regret (tho’ I have never owned ½ so much to anyone before) that I have entered into so many and serious concerns - yet, if all was to come over again, perhaps I should not better know how to keep aloof - I am, in point of property, so close upon the heels of my busiest neighbours, there is always something they want me to do, or undo - I long to be en voyage again..... you do not know how much I regit  [regret] that  I have seen so little of you during this my 2 years stay in England’ - the schoolmaster-seeking failed in London but hope all will now be settled by Xmas -  ‘not so easy as I fancied it, to find good solid information combined with good conduct and good sound [?] as to church and state - political! the mind of the people is sadly warped - it is more and more evident and I know not what to make of it - the registration has not gained us much if anything - I cannot understand the injudiciousness of those of Mr James Wortley’s friends who declined his offer to pay the whole or part (I cannot possibly learn which) of the expense of his last election - those very friends were probably neither the wealthiest of his supporters, not those how would again come forward in the same way with the most real cheerfulness - the people call out for a man of money - the town is said to say it cannot support such expense again - whether H-x is to be a corporation town or not, seems to hang upon the calculation of expenses - I suppose parliament is to be petitioned next session for the din of steam carriages to pass within 3 or 4 miles of us - whenever I dare think of travelling, it is, to try the railroad at Leipzig, and be steamed down the Danube - but I have not forgotten Copenhagen and the north’ .... ‘Do not quite forget me and believe me, dearest Lady Stuart very affectionately yours AL’ to Lady S- de R- ‘my dearest Lady Stuart it was very good indeed of you to write to me so soon and from dear Charlotte I really did not expect one syllable - she had excuse quite enough - I rejoice with all my heart at all your happiness - Poor dear Louisa! I daresay she behaves beautifully - but surely her reward is at hand - I regret (tho’ I am ashamed of being so selfish) that Mr Canning gave her a watch - I conclude Lady Stuart is with you, and, I hope very much the better for all the

SH:7/ML/E/18/0128

happiness around her, and for the fine sea-breezes of Highcliffe - Time slips away from me most extraordinary, tho’ it is not exactly an absolute freedom from anxiety that makes my days and hours seem so short - I had no idea of its being so long since I had heard from and written to anybody till a letter from Vere, the other day, roused me up, and put me in sad fear, that, seeming to forget, I should really be forgotten - may this evil, at least, be far from me! - I am very busy, far too busy - I see my building and other concerns gradually enlarge themselves beyond my 1st intentions - but I have still time for thought of other things - Surely the cholera will not always  rage in Italy - and, if some of or Pyrenees party may meet again en voyage, may it be in Italy!’ anxious about Lady S- to know how she bears so much journeying - ‘but I know from experience, that the real is often much greater than the apparent amount of bodily strength - a love of change of place sometimes clings to us to the last - my aunt told me the other night, she could very well bear to return to Paris! yet her state of dropsical feebleness and suffering seems extreme..... my love to Charlotte and Louisa - you know I have always been one of Lord Stuart’s admires, that hommages from him are particularly valued, and I hope you will tell him so with my best regards - Believe me always my dear Lady Stuart, very truly yours A Lister’ - 20 minutes with my aunt till 10 0 - just before and afterwards till 10 40 wrote the last 15 lines of the last page but one, the whole of the last page and so far of this - damp but tolerably good working morning till 12 then a little light rain - rain between 1 and 2 for ½ hour and heavy show at 3 - afterwards damp but tolerably good working afternoon - F50° now at 10 ¾ pm in my study - (fire in the stove)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Doctor Who, But Chronologically

Episode 5! Robot of Sherwood. It’s now 1150 AD, and for the first time, we get the same Doctor and companion - Capaldi and Clara. Based on these five episodes, I must conclude that the Doctor is, on average, a dreary and deeply unpleasant man who travels with extremely charming people that unaccountably want to spend time with him. Yet again, he seems to have zero interest at all in travelling. I’m starting to wonder why he bothers.

Anyway, in this episode, Clara wants to go and meet the real person behind the Robin Hood myth, which is an excellent choice, I think. The Doctor is sneeringly dismissive of the idea for literally the entire episode until the last ten minutes, which makes absolutely no sense but I suppose was required by the Ceaseless March of the Plot. It’s a shame because otherwise this episode is fun and enjoyable and I had a whale of a time, as did Clara. 

But we’ve had some back story! The Doctor was born to wealth and privilege, but feels for the plight of the working class oppressed masses, so half-inches a TARDIS and fucks off travelling. Clara has now described him at multiple points as a hero. This is interesting because it has not really been borne out since episode one in Pompeii, and even then, Donna had to patiently explain to him like he was five years old that he can, in fact, save one family if he wants, so stop trying to leave all 20,000 people to die ffs. Otherwise there has been absolutely zero sign of “Man who saves the victimised and oppressed” and one memorable episode where he descended into open fascism.

However it is now clear that he is also a dramatic bitch because LMAO WHAT did he just tell Marian to just stand behind the TARDIS and wait??? Was he like “It’ll probably take a while because me and Clara have really long goodbye speeches to do but omg do it it’ll look sick trust me” and she went “Well I, too, am a dramatic bitch, so yes 100% I’m on board.”

Meanwhile we have had no further answers to our plot threads, and some minor new ones added! Let’s update the list.

“She” (an unknown person) is returning (perhaps River returned as Missy)

There is something on Donna’s back

An entire planet, Pyrovilia, just... disappeared, somehow. (Maybe because the TARDIS is exploding???)

Amy is maybe dead

The Doctor has been cubed (he’s out, but how?)

River is possibly blown up  (unless she’s Missy)

The TARDIS has blown up  (It’s fine now)

The universe appears to have ended  (the universe is back again)

The Doctor has employed(?) Nardole

There’s a vault in the TARDIS and it contains Missy but we don’t know why

What has happened to all these companions and where are the new ones coming from?

There’s an immortal Viking girl now

Who/what is the Half-Faced Man that the Doctor talked about?

Why, when the Doctor saw the ship’s computer set to the Promised Land, did he say “Oh not again”?

I don’t know, so many questions. It’s almost like this is the stupidest watch order in Christendom.

[adamsvanrhijn]

the scene always starts with john, part 4/4

(part 1 is here, part 2 is here, part 3 is here)

When we see John and Oscar next, at dinner with Mrs Fish, they're not even interacting with each other.

This is so far from John-and-Oscar world it hurts, visibly if you are Oscar, who has been blindsided by this whole thing and clearly was not ready to see John flirting with somebody else—and certainly not if that somebody else is Gladys.

Of course, john flirting with somebody else is probably something Oscar would have to get used to REAL fast if he wants ~nothing to change~ and nobody to talk.

There are like a million layers to this.

For one thing, this makes it crystal clear that John behaved like that with Marian back in episode 1 by choice. If he'd wanted to, he could have charmed her just as he is charming Gladys!

I suspect that in John's mind, despite all of Oscar's handwaves and teasing and dismissals and responses, despite how in all of their conversations Oscar has been the answerer and never the asker, this is what Oscar has been asking of him for the entire season: this is living out of the shadows; this is a smokescreen to hide his true nature; this is behavior which attracts gossip in the young man; this is Being Reasonable.

This is what you are asking for, Oscar! This is what it looks like if John is doing it. The old John can't come to the phone right now; he has been left behind in New York, in John-and-Oscar world.

What emotion is motivating this, though? Is it spite for someone he has decided is his ex? Is it a demonstration that this sucks, actually? Is it "if I wanted to be married I would be already"? "I could take Gladys away from you"? "I can be convincingly heterosexual just fine whether you're married or not"? "Okay, fine, but I'm going to annoy you a little bit first"? "This is why we can't have nice things"?

What on earth is Oscar supposed to be feeling, here?

We don't know, and it isn't made clear.

But we can say that this, what John is doing here, what he is playing at, might be what he believes is the answer to the question he [thinks he] has been facing since the third episode.

And "this" is how we see them next.

At the ball, Oscar is doing his best to woo Gladys, more intently than we've ever seen him. He draws her aside to request a dance, is accepted but smacked on the hand a little, and then, ultimately, does indeed dance with her first, i.e. before anybody else does, which is a pretty big deal. He's in a good mood the whole time!

People me who were expecting something breakup-y like, Idk, the butler announcing "Mr. John Adams" and Oscar getting thrown off his game the same way he was in Newport, were perhaps a little blindsided.

What actually happens is, Mr. Oscar Van Rhijn makes his first move of the night on Miss Gladys Russell (and in context it was definitely the first of multiple dances, meaning he did not in fact end up leaving her alone all night), and then immediately turns around and sees Mr. John Adams across the ballroom making eyes of some sort at him over the shoulder of a woman he is about to waltz with.

Real world! Fully dressed! Ladies present!

Now what?!?!?!?!?!?!

the last scene is what.

this is potentially my favorite bookend in all of television.

just like in the first episode, oscar arrives home, walks up the stairs with madison square park in the background, goes down the hall, unlocks his door, and enters his apartment.

unlike in the first episode, it's early morning, his carriage is coming from the other direction, and:

he gets the first line.

"You beat me to it."

he gets the first line before he's even closed the door: he's surprised john is already home, and he stops when he sees him, then speaks. there is definitely enough time between the door opening and oscar speaking that john could have said something, but he didn't.

so now oscar is the one starting the conversation, for the second time we've ever seen—and for the first time if you count their last interaction as oscar continuing a scene rather than beginning it! this is a call, and he's seeking a response. and not only that, but This Is A Call About John!

prior to our script-flip, nothing in any of their conversations was ever Actually About John, not even when he tried, desperately, to make it about him before oscar left for newport. that's the closest we get, but ultimately that still was not about him, it was about oscar.

and like, yeah, oscar is mentioning himself here, but the answer he could get from this statement could easily have nothing to do with him: "yes, I left at x o'clock," or, "I just sat down." he could reply with the equivalent of "I'm staying with the Wetmores" and have it be not about oscar at all.

and they're in private again! they're undressed, with john in his dressing gown and oscar immediately taking off his jacket.

it's very reminiscent of the third episode, when john asked oscar to come to bed and oscar pushed back because he Needed A Drink because his gladys plan has Come Apart. oscar has more clothes on now than he did then, but not by much. also, john is now the one drinking, not oscar! (not necessarily the best sign?)

but this is the first time since that exact interaction when we have seen them in true privacy!

could it be... we are back in john-and-oscar world???

john responds to oscar's Call with what it warrants, which is a Response, and it is a response about himself: yes, he did beat oscar home, but "Not by much."

at that point it totally seems like it could be a straight up switch, just doing a 180 to the exact opposite of what their dynamic was before, but it's NOT, because:

that response is still inclusive of Oscar, it requires Oscar's preceding comment for it to make sense and it builds on it,

AND,

John calls back!!!

He then says, "you seemed to be making headway with Gladys," which you know, is unmistakably about Oscar, unmistakably an invitation to talk more about that, even if it's a little sulky, and Oscar says...

"So did you."

WE HAVE LITERALLY NEVER SEEN THEM INTERACT LIKE THIS BEFORE!

Oscar just invited John to talk about himself TWICE IN A ROW!

Oscar asks two questions in Newport, yes, and we have discussed those. Those questions are almost there, but not quite: yes, he is inviting John to discuss his own thoughts or his motivation, but what he really wants, both times, is to know why John is acting this way toward/about him. This is still About Him.

And John says, nope, not anymore!

In the finale, though, John is not doing that, and he shows no sign of wanting to. Of course he will talk about Oscar, and he will invite Oscar to talk about himself, too. That is what he does. But it's reciprocal, because they are also going to talk about him! We don't know if it's conditional on that, we don't have enough information to be sure, but that is exactly what we see them doing.

He doesn't say anything else for the rest of the scene; "you seemed to be making headway with Gladys" is the last thing he says in the season.

And that is a PRETTY BIG THING FOR HIM TO SAY.

For the very first time, John is not shying away from what Oscar is trying to do, here. He is not being oblique, he is not seeking a particular response, he is not replying to something about the situation that we can assume oscar said just before the camera started rolling.

He knows that Oscar's goal is to marry Gladys, and he acknowledges this by saying... you looked like you were making progress in your goal to marry Gladys.

You Tried, John! BUT he is inviting him to talk about more about it, which we know he NEVER would have done before.

again: the conversations he's started were all open ended; in the others he basically just wants to Make Sure He Is Hearing This Right because they're already on the subject. He has shown nothing but discomfort and disinterest in directly discussing that Oscar is currently chasing after a woman. But it is clear by now that Oscar is not giving up on Gladys, so John is going to at the very least give him an opening to talk about it and listen attentively when he does.

This is a familiar dynamic, in fact—we see it with the Russells day in and day out. They don't reeeeeally want to know or care about all the intricate details of each other's goals, nor necessarily their progress in reaching them, but they are doing all this out of Love, so by God are they going to listen to and support each other! (Most of the time.) (Interesting implications for season 2.)

Likewise, Oscar brings up that, we can assume, John danced with Gladys, too, and that it looked like they were also getting along pretty well. This is NOT John's goal, so John does not exactly like that Oscar does this, but again, they're meeting each other in the middle, they're making this about both of them, consciously.

And although Oscar is bringing it up with the intention of teasing him (this has got to be indicative of a sex thing), even that is a little different than it was before: he is teasing John about John, as opposed to teasing John with something that is still about himself [Oscar], his own behavior.

"So did you" != "Unless I take to it like a duck to water, you never know"

And then he takes it even further by making his justification ALSO about John! "Why are you scowling?" is about John's reaction in this instance, "You're so easy to tease" is about John's personality

I mean, in this particular instance that might not be something to make about John... but he says these things fondly, and again, we haven't see him do this at all before. It's a weird step, but it's still a step!

In any case, John does not take his turn to speak (still sulking), so Oscar goes back to what [John] said last: [Oscar] seemed to be making headway with Gladys. Oscar agrees! He says how he feels about the situation, that he Thinks He Can Do It, AND...

He acknowledges how John feels about the situation, too, in a manner much, much more direct than he's come close to before. He's not trying to placate him by Stating Facts ("there are plenty of men who have had to make exactly the same decision") and he's not telling him his feelings are irrational and that he shouldn't be having them ("be reasonable, what did you think would happen?").

Obviously "don't worry... nothing will change" isn't sitting with John's feelings. Oscar is not indulging him, but he is reassuring him in the way that John has been silently begging for him to do for months now: acknowledging he has an opinion about this, that he worries about this, and giving him a reason not to.

his reason is completely, utterly irrational and it needs a reason or five of its own to support it, but still!

This has always been about John, and Oscar has simply been taking it for granted that John knows that and knows that it's because Oscar loves him and [thinks he] is doing what's best for them.

But he never said this outright until that conversation pre-Newport, where John took it as a dismissal of his feelings and doubled down, probably because at that point he did NOT think Oscar felt the same way anymore.

But that's over, that was days to weeks ago, and now Oscar IS acknowledging it outright. In contrast to what John was doing in Newport, "this is 100% about you, but I'm not going to talk about it", Oscar is now saying, this IS about you, and I AM going to talk about it.

The real world is at home now, but they are still able to exist in this space that is Theirs, as Each Other's, and they both slip into it easily as they get affectionate.

I get the impression that somehow between episodes Oscar made it clear that what he is doing is about love, is about security and support, is about wanting what is best for himself and his lover, is about John...

Earlier in the episode, we get this exchange between Oscar and his mother:

at first I thought this could have had a double meaning regarding Oscar, maybe that he himself had to admit about being sad about John leaving.

"...what more is there to say?"

"That you're sad about it."

once I had the context that they were not in fact broken up, I thought maybe Oscar had to admit, say, to being anxious and scared and sad... but I can't quite believe he would go that far when he could express the positive side, that he loves John and wants him in his life and is doing this for them both and of course, fully believes nothing will change! (I do not think John is convinced of that, but I do think he could be convinced that Oscar's motivation is true.)

I can, however, believe that Oscar could get John to admit to his negative feelings. That what he says to his mother is something he had to say to John first, or perhaps something he knows will have to say to John later.

And I think that perhaps he did say that. That he made it clear that John needs to actually talk about his feelings. Because this has not been as one-sided as it might look: John has failed multiple times to communicate his needs. He cannot keep doing that if he wants to stay with Oscar, just as Oscar cannot fail to meet or at least to genuinely acknowledge those needs once they've been expressed. And they both must keep their cards on the table where their motivation for their actions is concerned: they love each other, and that's what's driving their behavior.

And if that is the case, then I think that, at least at this point in time, it seems to be enough to keep the relationship going.

[suck-on-a-fire-ball]

Anders / f!Hawke / Justice - Together

This is... believe it or not... part of the 28 Days of Fluff challenge... idk HOW I got this idea when trying to write fluff but --- I suppose... technically... there's a bit of fluff present?

Anyway - my masterlist for the challenge is here!

You can read this on Ao3 as well here!

Summary: Because of Justice, Anders doesn’t age. When the time comes for Marian to leave this Earth, neither of them leave her to face it alone. TW: Death bed. Angst.

“Here you go,” Anders says with a smile, putting a fresh glass of water down on the bedside table.

“Thank you…” croaks Marian, offering a warm smile back.

Anders sits down on the bed beside her legs and worriedly tucks her further in. “Anything else I can get you?”

She answers no with a gentle shake of her head before relaxing back down against the pillow’s her fragile, old body is propped up against.

“Tomorrow,” starts Anders, going through what was slowly becoming a daily routine with her so she would have something to look forward to, something to keep fighting towards; “Tomorrow… the kids are coming to visit again. Ava is bringing little Bethany too. That’s always nice, hm?”

She nods her head weakly.

He doesn’t like that she’s this weak. She’s not been this weak since she collapsed.

He’s a healer and knows just what this is, but he is also her lover and husband… and he does not want to believe what his healer side is telling him.

“And Varric sent a letter that he’s two days away. You wanna talk to him again, right?”

“One last time…” Marian whispers, earning a shake of Anders’ head.

“No, of course not. Just… He’s just visiting. He’ll come back as much as we want.”

A silence settles between them. It’s tense, nervous. But it was not because of Marian. It was Anders. He fiddles with the end of a sheet, avoiding glancing at her the same way he had been avoiding the truth he undoubtedly knew just as clearly as Marian herself.

With a smile, Marian decides to continue playing along. “Of course…” she offers, but he sees right through it.

Wrinkly hands reach out to his smooth and young one, and she moves it shakily up to her lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles.

He frowns.

“You don’t deserve this…” she says quietly, holding onto his hand still.

He attempts to smirk, “Hey, that’s my line. I’m meant to be the one who wishes you had chosen someone else.”

She smiles. “That changed a while back… When we realized…”

Anders shakes his head. “Hush…” Gently, he scoots closer to her and brings her hands to rest in his lap. “Remember what we said? On our wedding day?”

The smile on Marian’s lips now reaches her eyes fully. “Let’s wait until our wedding night?”

He nearly chokes at her words. No matter how old she got, her personality remained the same. And she even offered him a wink. “The other thing,” he says with a chuckle.

She nods her head knowingly. “That no matter what our slightly abnormal lives would look like, we would always do it… together.”

“Together.” Anders turns his head to the side and points to a mirror, where the image of Justice watching Marian with worried eyes and a hand against the glass was visible. “All three of us. Right until…”

He stops talking, emotions interrupting him as he clutches onto her hand, bowing his head with a sniffle. So she finishes for him, placing a calm hand over his. “Right until the end. So please stay here…”

Anders looks over at her in alarm, but her warm, calm smile only makes him more emotional. But he doesn’t fight her on it. How could he? He is a healer, not a miracle worker. “I’m staying. Right until the end.”

She smiles and settles down in the bed, keeping a gentle hold of Anders’ hand. With a deep breath, she closes her eyes and says: “Now, if you please… remind me of our wedding night again.”

He laughs in disbelief. She laughs in joy at hearing him happier.

Justice rolls his eyes at Marian’s ways.

It stayed that way right up until the end…

[notabloodmage]

Anders Clinic: early Act 1

hello! i am handers trash! here is the first time my hawke helped Anders around the clinic! thank u!

The clinic was crowded today. There was another fever burning its way through Darktown. Anders was stretched thin as it is, with very few volunteers in recent days to help him keep the clinic running and safely hidden. As it turned out-- operating for free meant that help was hard to find. His mana was low, even with the extra reserves that Justice granted him. The clinic was overrun with patients-- his little corner of Darktown a filled with a cacophony of retching and the groans of the ill. He shuffled tiredly, but with purpose, from patient to patient. He was grateful that Justice wouldn’t let him rest until the job was done. It wasn’t good for Anders, sure, but it helped save the lives of all these people, so it had to be worth it, right? 

“Uh, Anders?” A familiar voice broke through the crowd. Hawke was… unexpected. The little rogue had weaved her way through the crowd somehow to make it to his side. He didn’t even look up from his work to greet here, focusing on blue fade-energy pulsing at his fingertips. 

“Sorry, Hawke, but I really don’t think I can be of any help to you today,” Anders said balefully. He was knelt over an old woman, a Ferelden refugee not unlike the rogue before him.

“Er, actually, I was wondering if I could help you…” 

That made him look up, and the sight was so beautiful it made his head spin (or perhaps it was the fact that he was going on 50+ hours without sleep). 

Hawke was looking down with her signature crooked grin, brow cocked with concern at his appearance. She wasn’t wearing her armour like usual, he’d never seen her without it before, all that tan freckled skin in the open. She was wearing a casual peasant shirt with a hastily lased collar and simple trousers torn at the knees. He snapped his eyes onto her warm brown gaze to keep them from wandering. Her eyes always had a twinkle in them, somehow, like she knew something you didn’t. 

She just had a way with people, Anders supposed, even the woman he was treating seemed to relax at her mere presence. 

And more than that, he realised, she may as well have been handing him a pot of gold. She was holding out a basket of fresh picked herbs. Elfroot, Embrium, Blood Lotus-- everything he could possibly need to treat this flu. She beamed when he looked up at her incredulously. 

“Bethany is here too, somewhere-- healing isn’t her speciality but Father did teach her the basics. And I may not be a mage, but I do know my way around a cauldron.” She winked down at him, turning toward the back of the shop. “You do have a cauldron, right? Or at least a pot I can cook with?” 

“I… What?” Anders gaped--half-convinced the exhaustion had finally gotten to him and he was hallucinating. Hawke giggled.

“A cauldron, Anders, so I can make some healing potions for these people. Father used to make this awful potion for us whenever we were sick, it tastes like the void itself but it always works! I’m not as good as he was but I do know the recipe!” She looked back at him quizzically.

“There’s a cauldron on the fire near the back, miss.” One of his other patients, a young boy who had been in the clinic before spoke up for him. 

Anders still couldn’t believe this was happening. This couldn’t be some kind of stress-induced hallucination, could it? Hawke wasn’t really just sweeping in to solve his problems again was she? First with Karl and now this...

“That’s… I…”

Before Anders could fully process the situation he was whisked back into his work. 

The sunset bled the day into night, the work still hard but going significantly more smoothly now. He’d bumped shoulders with Bethany a few times throughout the day, who’d always given him an encouraging smile before returning to her work, she may not have been as adept as he was at healing but she did better than fine. Her proficiency with the elements kept the fire burning and kept them supplied with clean water so Anders could focus solely on his healing abilities. The atmosphere of the clinic had changed, it was no longer so frantic, and although he felt as though he was about to collapse with exhaustion, Anders was cautiously optimistic. With all the help they’d been able to give it looked like most of the refugees would actually survive this. 

Plus, Hawke wasn’t kidding. She did know her way around a cauldron. Between patients Anders caught glimpses at her slicing up herbs at an alarming speed, Anders hadn’t considered that he proficiency with daggers would translate to something as mundane as chopping up potion ingredients. She’d brought more than enough, too.  With this potion a little goes a long way, she’d assured him, and she proved herself right. Sip after agonising sip of the sludge-like fluid had patients perking up already. She’d even been able to slip in a lyrium potion or two to keep Bethany and Anders running late into the evening. 

She hummed a cheery little tune to herself as she stirred away, serving patients with a smile and a joke. She made it look so easy, but she had to tired by now...

The clinic finally began to slow around midnight, most of the patients had cleared out and those that remained were asleep. Hawke had sent Bethany home before sundown-- Leandra got nervous when Bethany was out late, apparently-- so it was just the two of them that remained, in the back of the clinic. Anders was warming himself by the fireplace, hands gripping his mug tightly to keep them from trembling with exhaustion, as he sipped the tea Hawke had pushed into his hands. It smelled like like home somehow-- Ferelden. 

Mint, fennel and elfroot, sweetened with honey.

Hawke bit back a yawn, she was sat on a stool, scrubbing out his old cauldron-- he’d gotten it second-hand after he’d set up shop down here.

Her curly brown hair was tied back with a white rag, and at some point she had lost her overshirt, leaving her in tight camisole. Anders tried desperately to ignore how it gave him the perfect view of the way her chest heaved as she worked. Her toned, tanned arms were in full view, every inch of her skin patterned intricately with freckles. Sweat dripped down her neck into the valley between her breasts and Anders cleared his throat in an attempt to clear his thoughts.

“Thank you for today, really. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.” He fixed his gaze on hers once more. She was smiling at him with something that looked like admiration her amber eyes, and he didn’t know if that terrified him or turned him on. 

Maybe both.

“I can’t believe you do this every day… I don’t even think I can stand back up…” Hawke leaned back, setting the cauldron aside so she could stretch, letting out a sweet sound of satisfaction at the relief on her sore muscles.

Anders nearly cursed aloud when Justice forced him to avert his gaze.

“It’s not always this bad…” He stammered out, as Hawke stood focusing his eyes on the hearth, where the fire had burned down to coals. She was looking at him again. He could see it from the corner of his eye, she was studying him intently, it seemed. 

The silence hung over them--warm, wanting, and not quite comfortable. 

Anders wanted to thank her again, but he couldn’t find the words. He still couldn’t believe she’d come at all. Completely unprompted, unasked. He’d asked her a few hours in what she was doing there and all she’d said was that Varric told her was busy at the clinic and she wanted to help. She didn’t say how she got the herbs or found the time, in her busy schedule though, and Anders thought that maybe he should ask if he could pay for those... not that he could afford them, he thought bitterly. 

The silence was broken by Hawke bursting into a fit of giggles. 

He looked at her, brow creasing. She was… Odd. Always smiling, always laughing at something or other. She’d tripped over her feet on the way up the Chantry steps that first night they’d met and he could’ve sworn her laugh echoed through all of Hightown, far too loud for someone as small in stature as she. In that moment she’d put him at ease, and even though his meeting with Karl went as terribly as it did she stuck by his side, even inviting him out on jobs with her in the days after, knowing full well that he could use the money, and time out of Darktown. 

Her eyes glimmered with mirth as she turned to him.

“I just realised I never told you my name.”

Huh. 

So she hadn’t. 

It was strange, given how much they’d been through together in the, what, few weeks? Since they’d met? Anders found himself laughing alongside her. 

Maybe they were delirious-- maybe the fever had finally caught up to them-- but Maker did the two of them laugh.  A gross, hard day full of grief and sickness that had left them both worn and covered in vomit and the pair laughed themselves to tears. 

Justice was confused. Anders was laughing. Why was Anders laughing? 

Anders didn’t quite know the answer himself, but he figured it didn’t matter as Hawke extended a hand to him. 

“I’m Minerva Marian Hawke, and you are?”

He took her hand in his. His handshake was a little too firm in an attempt to disguise how his hands were trembling. 

“Anders. Just Anders.”

“Just Anders, hm? Coooool~” She grinned, voice regaining its familiar teasing quality. He couldn’t help but return her grin. “Well, Just Anders, I’ll come by tomorrow, okay? I think it’s time to get some rest. Both of us, okay?” Her eyes flickered over him, an expression of genuine concern on her face. Anders didn’t know what he’d done to earn such kindness from her, but he couldn’t deny the way it made his heart pound in his chest.

She smiled her farewell and turned to leave.

“Goodnight, Minerva.” Her name tasted sweet on his lips. “And thank you.”

[scabopolis]

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Hope that I do this properly 🙃

I would adore a XO between Veronica Mars (LoVe) & Once Upon a Time (C/S).

PROMPT: "I’m really competitive and drunk and I just told a rival that my relationship is way better than theirs, but they don’t believe you exist (but I’m too stubborn to admit they’re right)" OR really anything you'd like. Honestly, I'm dying to see Logan and Killian interact/co-swagger.

And / or another installment of "Come Rain or Come Shine" from In Lovers Meeting because I love it with my whole ❤️.

Thank you so much for doing this. You made my day,

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Oh @jjmazzy​ you bring my heart so much joy! I didn’t feel quite up to the task to do a crossover between OUaT and Veronica Mars so I went straight for a OUaT AU. I hope that’s okay? 

This is just a silly little thing that I am realizing only fulfills about 40% of the prompt, but I think it’s cute??

ANYWAY! Enough hemming and hawing xx *** Title: Of Expats and Onion Rings Rating: PG Fandom: Once Upon a Time Pairing: Killian Jones/Emma Swan (mentions of Robin/Marian and a smattering of other characters) Additional Tags: Two out of three of my OUaT fics feature Killian as a bartender, silliness and only half a prompt, probably way more fluff than is medically recommended Word Count: 1,500

Every Friday night, Emma Swan sits on the same barstool at the same bar in the same restaurant. This Friday night has her staring into space as she lets the sounds from the kitchen and the bar swirl around her. It’s busier than usual, with almost all the booths and tables filled and the bar area half-occupied. In fact, when she first walked into the bar, she worried there wouldn’t be a seat for her. But the bartender caught her eye and waved her over, a menu and a glass of water waiting for her in her usual seat at the end of the bar. 

Said bartender slides her an Old Fashioned, extra maraschino cherries on the toothpick per usual. 

She takes a small sip of the drink. “Why is it so busy?” 

Killian’s eyes roam about the room and then come back to rest on her. “Some magazine labeled us the best kept secret in Portland, Maine.” 

“And in doing so—”

“Assured that we would never be a secret again. Yes.” 

“The pitfalls of fame.” 

“Burger or chicken sandwich?” 

“Burger. Any chance—?”

“Aye, probably a very good chance, but only because Graham is sweet on you.” 

Emma feels her cheeks redden. “He’s not sweet on me.” 

“Sure he isn’t.” 

She watches Killian step away from the bar and into the kitchen to talk to Graham. How Graham can manage to listen to anything given the noise of the dining room and the kitchen she’ll never know. Graham and Killian both look over at her. Graham rolls his eyes but nods, and Emma raises her glass in thanks. 

“Okay,” she says to Killian when he’s back at the bar. “He might be a little sweet on me.” She takes a long sip of her cocktail. 

Killian’s brow is knit with concentration. “Long day?” 

She nods. “I had a run in with Zelena.” 

“Ah. The wicked witch of the northeast. What’d she do this time?” The ticket printer next to Killian’s till spits out a long drink order, but he listens even as he mixes drink and pours glasses of wine. 

“She got engaged over the weekend and hasn’t shut up about it. And today, she took great pains to ask me, in front of everyone in the faculty lounge, if I’d be okay if she didn’t give me a plus one.” 

“Bit rude, isn’t it?” 

“Right? But then she kept going on and on asking how long it’d been since I dated someone, and did I know that after 35, forty-five percent of women’s eggs are considered genetically abnormal and her fiancé is a very wealthy furniture manufacturer and she’s certain he has some less attractive less wealthy friends he could introduce me to and on and on and on.” 

“Does she truly want you at her wedding?” 

“Oh, yes. She said she wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She runs her finger along the condensation of her glass. “Which is when I did something very very very stupid.” 

“Smacked her?” 

Emma snorts. “I wish. No I—” Her explanation is interrupted by the arrival of her burger and the plate of special order onion rings. Onion rings which are technically available only as an add-on to the steak sandwich but that Emma has a 80% success rate of cajoling the kitchen to make her a plate of. 

She eats her meal with one eye turned to Killian, waiting for a long enough lull in the drink tickets to finish her story. She’s almost finished her burger when Killian slides another Old Fashioned in front of her.

“What was this very stupid thing you did?” he asks, leaning towards her. 

“I told her I was dating someone.” 

Killian remains where he is but she notices the clench of his jaw. “Ah,” he says. “I was unaware.” He seems to hear his own words as he says them because he cringes. “Not that there’s a reason you would tell me. I mean, we’re friends, but friends in that way that I get you drinks and —”

Emma rests a hand on Kilian’s to stop the rambling. “I’m not. Dating anyone, that is.” 

“Then why—?”

“It just popped out. I’m not sure who was more surprised, me or Zelena.” 

“So, this fake boyfriend of yours. Just who is he?” 

“Well, okay, so this makes sense when you remember it’s Friday, and I knew I’d be coming here.”

“Right,” he says, equal parts cautious and curious.

“I told her my boyfriend was British.” 

Killian shakes his head. 

ExPats has been her weekly haunt for close to a year now and while not everyone who works there is a British expatriate, with Killian as bar manager, Robin as front of house manager, Graham as chef de cuisine, and Phillip as pastry chef, it kind of feels that way.

“And that he had blue eyes,” she continues. 

“Ah, I see,” he says, teasing her. “Are you telling me you’re sweet on Graham too?” 

“Not Graham.” 

“In that case, Marian is likely going to have a big problem with you trying to date her husband.”

“And, uh,” she clears her throat, “I told Zelena he has dark hair.” 

Killian wings an eyebrow. “How dark?” 

“Uh, right about your color probably.” 

“My color?” 

“Probably. I said probably.” 

“Interesting.” Emma takes a sip of her drink. There’s a delicious, hazy feeling brought on from the second cocktail washing through her veins. “So, you and I are dating?” he asks. 

“Stupid. It was so stupid.” 

“I wouldn’t say that. I mean, I’ve been meaning to ask you out for months now. This might be just the little push I need.” 

“What?”

“What?”

“What did you just say?” 

“What now?” he asks in return, the picture of innocence. 

“You’ve been trying to ask me out?” 

“Not as such, no.” 

“Oh.” She sinks back in her seat, disappointed.

“I didn’t want to risk you running scared and not being here every Friday night.” 

Emma perks right back up again. “Oh?” 

“You already said that, love.” 

Emma looked down at her plate, the remnants of the crispy bits from her onion rings on her plate. Something occurs to her then. “Graham doesn’t give these to me because I want them. Does he?” 

“Excuse me?” 

If she’s not mistaken the tips of his ears have gone a little red. She loves his little elf ears. “He makes these for me because you ask him. Don’t you?” 

“I might have told him they bring you an inordinate amount of joy.” He scratches idly at a spot on his arm. “And that it brings me an inordinate amount of joy to see how happy they make you.” 

“Did you know my weekly ExPats date used to be on Wednesdays?” 

She can see him try to mentally adjust to the change of direction in the conversation. “Really?” 

“I only came in a few times, but then one week, I had parent/teacher conferences so I came on Friday. And there you were.” Emma shrugs. “Your Old Fashioned is better than Will’s.” She bites off one of the maraschino cherries from the toothpick. “Your smile is better, too.” 

“Emma, darling, are you flirting with me?” 

“What? Suddenly it’s a crime to flirt with my boyfriend?” 

Killian laughs and it makes her heart hum. She likes the clean line of his throat as he tilts his head back. “Your boyfriend? I don’t suppose you’d want to go out on a date with, then?”

“I’m free on Wednesday.” 

“Funny that,” he says. “That happens to be my day off.” 

“Is it?” 

Emma would be content to sit at this bar all night and let Killian smile at her and make her drinks. It seems like Killian is having similar thoughts, until something seemingly flies out of nowhere to hit him in the back of the head. 

Killian reels around to find Robin standing there, arms folded across his chest. 

“What’d you throw at me, you git?” Killian asks. 

“A dinner roll.” Robin gestures at the drink ticket printer. A ticket printer which has at least 10-tickets waiting to be fulfilled. “Pardon, Emma. Mind if he stops flirting with you long enough to fulfill the drink orders?” 

“You’re fired,” Killian says. 

“For the last time, mate, you can’t fire me. My name is on the lease right next to yours.” 

“Murder it is, then.” 

“Make the nice customers their cocktails and then you can murder me.” 

Robin walks away, and Emma notices it’s not just her at the bar who finds herself charmed by the whole display between the two men. She thinks she might see a small group of women sneakily taking a cell phone video, giggling as they watch it through.

“Emma, I’m sorry, but I—”

She waves him off. “Do your thing. I’ll be here.” 

“Yeah?” he asks, and when she nods, he beams. “Good, because if we’re in a committed relationship I’m probably going to need your phone number.” 

“Pour the drinks, you goon.”

[sailtoafarawayland]

The Daughter You Have (Not That Girl)

Summary: “Take me home,” she whispered against him, and when she pushed onto her toes and hungrily met his lips with her own, pressing every bit of the things she wasn't ready to say yet into him, he knew that she wasn't just talking about a place.

Rated: T 

(This is an edit of my very first story published over on FF way back in 2015, but new to AO3. I've corrected some grammar and fixed a few errors, but have kept it true to what my intentions were at the time. It follows "There's No Place Like Home", but continues as if neither the urn nor Marian returned to Storybrooke)

- AO3 - 

Chapter 1/1

It was a little thing, nothing more than a gentle touch on his wrist, that opened Emma's eyes fully to something she had a feeling her subconscious had been protecting her from up until that point. David and Mary Margaret were disappointed with her. The signs had been there from the beginning – they were so obvious now that she was looking back – but it had been the family dinner at Granny's that had made their feelings perfectly clear.

Things had changed for Emma after she and Hook traveled through Zelena's time portal – a lot had changed, and when they'd finally gotten back, she knew what it was to return home. This was the town where her family was, where her heart was. The entire adventure had also opened her to other possibilities, things she had been eager and uninhibited in exploring since their return.

So when her mother called to let her know they were all meeting at Granny's for dinner, it hadn't occurred to her to do anything other than show up with the person she'd been spending her evening with. After all, they'd intended to eat at some point, so even though the family dinner would shorten other activities they'd had planned, Emma knew they'd make up for the distraction later.

The scene when she and Hook entered the diner was something that tugged at her heart. Every year when she was a child, she'd wished for the same thing on her birthday – to not be alone, to have a family. To have one now and really know that they weren't going to give her up, it was something she'd never thought she could have. So it was understandable, as caught up in the emotion of it all as she was, that she didn't notice the slight fall to Mary Margaret's face when they stepped inside, or the almost imperceptible tightening of David's mouth.

Placing a light kiss on Henry's forehead as he smiled up at her, she took the empty chair alongside him, the familiar heat of Killian beside her as he pulled out the chair at her right side, the comforting weight of his hook resting easily on her leg beneath the table.

She'd smiled at him, his own bright grin contagious beneath his flushed cheeks.  

The two tables pushed together were crowded, Regina, Robin, and Roland being a natural extension of the weird, extended family they'd all fallen into, but everything felt perfect to Emma in that moment.

She was happy.

That's why it was so jarring when it happened.

They'd gone through the tedious chore of ordering food, Roland unable to decide between chicken fingers and pizza, and the conversation was light and easy. Laughing at a quiet comment Henry had made, she'd turned to share it will Killian, knowing he would enjoy the quick-witted remark. Henry had been enjoying spending quite a bit of time with the both of them lately, and clearly the pirate's verbosity had worn off on him. She'd leaned into him, the action intimate and familiar, her arm crossing his body to gently squeeze his hand as she whispered in his ear.

It was a small gesture of affection, an easy expression of her happiness, and if she hadn't happened to look across the table at the exact moment she did, she wouldn't have seen it, but she had, and she did.

Mary Margaret's quickly stifled sigh, the slight flare of David's nostrils.

In that moment, Emma didn't need to ask them if they disapproved of her relationship with Killian, to test their words and weigh them as truth or lie – she read it on their faces as easily as if they had sent her a text.

“I don't feel great,” Emma cut in, interrupting the flow of conversation as she stood abruptly, the legs of her chair stuttering against the floor. “Sorry, kid, but I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Henry shrugged, already turning his attention to the dessert menu he'd been eyeing up. “Feel better, Mom.”

She squeezed his shoulder once, a tight smile on her face, and turned toward the door, needing to get out of the diner that was suddenly too small to hold the frustration and anger coursing beneath her skin.

Killian rose with a bit more grace than she'd been able to muster, his words charming and polite despite the concern she could read beneath them.

Emma didn't go far, simply taking the few steps she needed to get away from the glare of the diner's lights before waiting for Killian to join her, immediate relief folding over her as she was enveloped by the scent of leather and salt – the mark of the sea far too ingrained in everything he wore to ever fade. The heat from her breath clung to his jacket as she pressed herself into his embrace, needing the closeness.

“Talk to me, Swan. Are you unwell?”

She didn't want to talk.

She didn't want to do anything other than run away from the fact that her parents were far from happy about her happiness. She just wanted to wrap herself in his body, finding peace in the friction between them that always brought her to completion so perfectly. She wanted to feel the slide of his fingers, rough and calloused, over her skin, the hard chill of his hook at her back.

She was happy, and they didn't want that for her.

If she didn't soothe the wound that realization left on her heart, she wasn't sure what she would storm back in there and say in front of everyone.

“Take me home,” she whispered against him, and when she pushed onto her toes and hungrily met his lips with her own, pressing every bit of the things she wasn't ready to say yet into him, he knew that she wasn't just talking about a place.

* ~ * ~ *

As Emma lie in his arms that night, listening to the slow creaks and moaning pipes that ran behind the walls of Granny's, her thoughts traveled back through the days and weeks since their return from the Enchanted Forest. She tried to remember how her parent's had been from that first moment until now.

There had been relief etched on their faces as Emma recounted their adventure, and gratefulness when they thanked Killian for not letting her go alone and keeping her safe. They had been friendly even, for once acting as if he belonged in Storybrooke, as if he had a place there and was more than an unwanted outsider looking through the window – but apparently their good will had an expiration, and that was as soon as they realized that they weren't the only reason she'd stayed instead of running back to New York.

All that time as her relationship with Killian progressed, she hadn't noticed their disappointment in the fact that it was growing and deepening rather than fading, a one time thing – because that was what she had seen on their faces in the diner, and it had shattered her.

She burrowed closer to Killian as he held her, his face serene and relaxed in sleep. She was thankful for that, knowing that some nights his old demons haunted him more deeply than others. It warmed her heart to know that those nights were becoming farther and fewer between. She didn't want to leave him when the sun came up, would miss the strength of his arms around her, the confidence that came so easily when he was at her side, but she knew she had to talk to her parents.

She knew what she had seen, but she had to hear it from them.

* ~ * ~ *

David's face moved quickly between his easy, morning smile to surprise as the door opened, then more slowly to the grim look of resolve. For a second, Emma couldn't figure out why she'd surprised him, and then she realized it was because she'd knocked. The realization left a small ache in her chest, the significance not lost on either of them. Though she'd been spending most nights at Granny's, up until last night, this had still felt like home.

“Who is it, David?”

She heard Mary Margaret's voice chime from the other side of the loft, the soft tapping of her shoes drawing closer.

“It's Emma,” he muttered, opening the door fully and waving her inside, his movements stilted.

Mary Margaret was smiling when she finally popped into view, but Emma could see the anxiety flickering in her eyes as she stepped through the door and closed it behind her, facing the both of them with more than a hint of discomfort in her stance.

“Henry didn't stop in, did he?”

He'd been staying most nights with Regina and Robin, enjoying spending time with Roland, but sometimes he would still swing by the loft in the mornings to meet her before they went to Granny's together for hot cocoa.

“He did, but we mentioned you weren't here and he said he'd wait for you at Granny's,” her mother said. “Did you want to head over – ”

“No,” Emma rushed, cutting her off and interrupting the motion Mary Margaret was making toward the door, her hand falling back to her side. “I need to talk with the both of you, about last night.”

“Emma, if this is about Hook – ”

“It's not...well, not directly. It's about me.”

Emma watched them uncomfortably, suddenly unsure of how to begin now that she was actually standing in front of them, David with his questioning eyes, and Mary Margaret with her hands twisted together in front of her waist. She was supposed to be able to do this. She'd broken a curse, fought a dragon, stood up to Cora, and fought to bring down Zelena. She was the Savior, she was supposed to be able to do everything, including confront her parents.

A longing to have her pirate standing beside her hit, his hand resting gently on her shoulder for support, but even though she knew she needed to do this alone, the brief flash of him in her mind was enough to spur her on.

He was worth fighting for.

“I saw the way you looked at us last night,” she began, the hurt obvious in her voice, no matter how steady she tried to make it. “When I touched his hand, I looked across at you, and you guys couldn't stand to see it.”

“Emma, you have to understand, we appreciate everything Hook did to help you get back home to us. We see that he's changed, please don't think we're blind to that,” Mary Margaret sighed, her eyebrows knit with concern.

“But you still don't think he's worthy of your respect, your trust...that he's worthy of me?”

“We do respect him, Emma, we really do,” David interjected, scratching the top of his head as he met Mary Margaret's eye, “but you have to understand, we never wanted someone like him for you.”

“Someone like him?” Her voice crept up in volume, ringing with disbelief.

“You deserve better.”

“Better than someone who has come to my rescue time and time again? Better than someone who gave up his actual home for a chance – no, less than a chance even – that he might be able to save me, to save all of you? Someone better than that?”

“You're forgetting all of the other things he's done, Emma – his past. We wanted something different for you, someone like your father, Not a – ”

“Not a pirate,” David snapped, unable to keep the vitriol from his tone.

“How dare you!” There was a venomous edge to her voice now, low and quiet. “How dare you think you have any right to an opinion on this. Are you kidding me? You dropped into a magic tree – and I get it, I understand that you had to, and that it broke your hearts, but now you need to understand something...”

She paused, taking a breath as she tried to loosen the tight fists she'd balled her hands into “All of those hopes and dreams you guys had for me, the things you envisioned shaping me into the woman you wanted me to be, they didn't go through the wardrobe. It was just me, all by myself. Whatever plans you've made for my future, they're for a person who doesn't exist. They're for the daughter you wanted, not the one you've got.”

“But the daughter you've got,” she continued, “she's pretty damn happy as she is. I didn't grow up in some fairy tale. I grew up in the real world. I was abandoned, betrayed, disappointed and left behind my entire life. I've got more bruises, and scars, and flaws than most people, but because of Killian, I've learned to accept them and move on, because all of them together put me right where I am today. You might not like the rough, gritty parts of him, his past, the hook, but I do. I love every part of him, and I will not sit here and let you treat this like I'm settling, because he is everything I need, and everything I want.”

She found herself nearly breathless after her rant, fists shaking at her sides as she stared at her parents wide-eyed in front of her. She had hoped the weight on her chest would lighten once she put everything she felt out into the open, but instead she was faced with a lingering tightness that wouldn't budge, suddenly aware that they may have considered all of those things and still disapproved.

“Emma,” Mary Margaret sighed, locking eyes with David before reaching forward and taking her daughter's clenched fists in her hands. “You may have grown up here, but you were born in the Enchanted Forest, a princess and the product of true love. If you're destined to have a True Love of your own, then surely it's not someone – ”

Emma didn't give her a chance to finish her sentence, tearing her hands free and throwing the door open, the heavy wood bouncing off the wall as she stormed out without a backward glance. The resounding thump of the door falling back into place and closing behind her somehow trickled through the roar of anger thumping in her ears and she paused, pressing her forehead and hands against the cool wall down the hallway.

“You alright there, love?”

The rage she'd been feeling slipped away from her at the sound of his voice, her legs suddenly shaking and less steady than they should have been for someone who was stone cold sober. Thankfully, he was at her side the minute she turned from the wall that had been lending her a little support, his arms catching her as they sunk to the floor together, his leather jacket splayed across the rug as he knelt, arms circling around her as she tucked her head into his chest and closed her eyes.

Her heart ached in a way she hadn't expected to feel again, in the same way it had when the cop told her to turn around and she'd realized someone she'd counted on had let her down.

It ached until he whispered against her hair, soothing noises and assurances that everything would be well, the timbre of his voice bringing her peace.

“What are you doing here?” Emma whispered, wondering how he'd known to look for her at her parent's loft, and suddenly very glad they hadn't decided to follow her into the hallway. She had no idea how she'd react seeing them again so soon after what Mary Margaret had just been about to say. She needed time, and they probably did as well.

“I will admit I was adrift when I woke without you this morning, Swan,” he confided, placing another soft kiss to her hair, “but I thought perhaps you'd been craving some of that chocolate concoction you like, so I went to Granny's, wondering if that's where you'd run off to.”

“It's called hot chocolate. Did you see Henry there?”

“Aye, the lad was showing me something in a book about the stars that Belle had given him. He thought perhaps you'd gone to see if he was at the loft.”

Emma sat up quickly, leaning out of Killian's lap so she could search the stairwell below, her chest tightening painfully at the thought of Henry overhearing what had gone on with her parents.

“He's not here, Swan. I had a feeling there was something that needed addressing between you and your parents after last night.”

“How did you know?”

“I'm a pirate, love. We've a keen sense for danger – a word that would fairly describe your temperament a moment ago.”

“Where is he?”

“Ah, I sent him over to our room to retrieve the sextant I'd told him about the other day. I thought it would be useful for him to see how it works for the paper he's writing.”

“That's good,” she murmured, settling back into his lap. “I wouldn't him have wanted him to hear me that upset with his grandparents.”

“Aye, angry is what you were a moment ago, but how do you feel now, Swan?”

“Blood spectacular,” she laughed, snuffing her nose that she hadn't realized was now stuffy, her eyes burning slightly at the tears she wouldn't shed.

She felt the absence of Killian's arm around her as he reached up and scratched behind his ear, a nervous habit she thought was pretty cute.

“Well, in that case, what do you say to a change of scenery, a leisurely stroll, perhaps?”

“Your legs are numb, aren't they?”

“Aye.”

* ~ * ~ *

Days had passed since Emma confronted her parents, and still she hadn't asked him the question he'd been dreading. He had expected it right away, and she'd surprised him by not seeming the concerned in the least that may have overheard her conversation. His Swan, still managing to surprise him even after how much they'd learned of one another. Perhaps now that they'd grown closer than he had ever hoped was possible, she had no words left to hide from him.

They spent those days enjoying the company of one another and the continued absence of any threats to the town. Walks with Henry to the dock were frequent. The lad had developed a true curiosity about everything to do with the sea, and though he no longer had the Jolly with which to entertain the boy, he never regretted it – though Emma often gripped his hand more tightly whenever they passed by the spot where she had once anchored so long ago.

She'd asked him only once if he regretted it, and he'd been able to look her in the eye and speak honestly.

Never, not for a second, Emma.

Hours spent twisted among his sheets were also frequent, his fingers never tiring of their play across her body, but his Swan was quite perceptive, and he knew she felt the subtle change in his demeanor that had plagued him ever since that morning at her parent's loft.

When it had lingered for more than a week – his breath hitching in his throat as he watched her fall asleep, thinking she was too far gone to notice, she finally asked him.

“Killian, will you please tell me?”

A part of him wanted to sweep her into his arms, fingers threading through her hair as he grinned, disarming her with some witty banter about how the only thing bothering him was her state of dress, mainly that the shirt she'd donned was too much, but the smile wouldn't come to his lips, and he had no desire in his heart to lie to her.

“Your mother, Emma...what she said. Surely it's the truth.”

She stiffened against him and pulled away, the immediate distance she's placed between them striking his chest with both fear and pain, though it was the reflection of both in her eyes that injured him most. His words had hurt her, but neither could he lie. She would know, and it would pain her just the same.

“What do you mean?”

“She told you no untruths, love. You were born a princess in the Enchanted Forest, the daughter of heroes and a Savior in your own right – someone destined to have a true happy ending.”

“What I was supposed to be doesn't mean anything, you and I both know that, Killian.”

“But what if she's right?” he nearly whispered, dread thick on his tongue as his sea-blue eyes bored into her own. “What if it means everything? What if there is true love waiting for you, a man destined for you – a man who never killed because he could, nor lived solely for vengeance until it blackened his heart?”

“I believe that, Killian – ”

Her words were a frigid wave of his deepest fears washing over him, the doubts he was voicing suddenly far more substantial than when they'd haunted his dreams.

“ – a part of it, that is,” she continued, sliding closer in his bed and running her fingers through his inky, dark locks. “I believe I have a true love. The only difference, you idiot, is that I know I've already found him, so don't do this to me. Don't doubt me now when you never have before. After all the chasing, just because I finally stopped running doesn't mean it's your turn.”

The tips of her fingers stroked through his hair, returning softly along his jaw and cupping his face. He reached out for her then, twirling a strand of her golden hair around his finger, his heart leaping as he took in every curve and peak of her face as she smiled. He wanted to have her faith, to believe as she did that he could be her everything – because was certainly everything to him.

Slipping easily onto his lap, the sheets pooling around their waists, she rested her forehead against his, moving to wind her fingers in his own, her other hand firmly grasping his stump, loving every part of him. His heart ached with how much he loved her in return.

“What do you say, Killian. Can you take that leap of faith with me, that no matter what, from here on out it will always be us?”

And because she asked and he trusted her implicitly, believed her in the very core of his being, he could. His lips crashed against hers, rocking them both back onto the bed as they shared each breath, passion and love and a feeling of rightness brightening each move they made. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, needing to vanish any breath of space between them. Possessiveness and need slowly rolled into the slow rise of tenderness and longing, their bodies moving and melding seamlessly as they poured their commitment into each shuddering breath. When they finally broke apart, their heated bodies resting atop the sheets, he knew in his heart how true her words had been, because he could never leave this miraculous woman who'd brightened his life, who'd chosen to be his. He loved her too greatly, too deeply, and every day till his very last he would choose her.

“It will always be you,” he whispered against her neck, clinging to her as if she was the only thing keeping him afloat in an endless sea, and perhaps she was. “Always, Emma.”

Tagging: @justanother-unluckysoul @kmom0f4 @the-darkdragonfly @teamhook @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @jrob64 @wefoundloveunderthelight @tiganasummertree @pirateprincessofpizza @lfh1226-linda @alexa-fangirl-forever @alifeofdreams @superchocovian @donteattheappleshook @hollyethecurious @caught-in-the-filter @snowbellewells 

[modern-inheritance]

Modern Inheritance: Look at my Son (Pre-Eragon)

Brom hunched his shoulders against the gust of snow flurries that tugged at his clothes as his horse clopped tiredly along. He knew he was getting close, could still feel the tiny threads of Selena’s energy leading to the small farm on the edge of Carvahall.

His stomach churned. Not only because he was hungry, but because he didn’t know what he was going to find when he reached his destination. Had the healers observations and Brom’s own hypothesis correct? He didn’t know if he wanted to be right or if he wanted to be wrong.

The Rider pulled his horse to a stop at the small house his spells were leading him to.

It wasn’t anything fancy. A simple homestead with a single story, a paddock next to the side porch. Brom could see a small patch of empty farmland behind the paddock, stubbled with the remains cut, dead stalks of grains poking up through the light layer of snow.

It looked like a home for a family.

Sighing, Brom leaned his forearms on the saddle’s pommel and examined the home, looking for some excuse to enter. He found a reason in one of the two work horses, a muscled bay, that had a pronounced limp.

Moments later found him knocking on the front door. His heart thumped in his chest. He had to play this along for a little while, then he could have the truth.

At the third knock a thin man opened the door. He looked at Brom with intense, dark eyes, then cocked an eyebrow. “Can I help you?”

Brom cleared his throat. “Ah, well, not to intrude, sir. I was passing by and saw that one of your horses has a quite a limp. Didn’t know if you were aware, and I just…”

The man sighed tiredly. “Yeah, I’m aware. Thank you.” He leaned out to look over at the bay as it lapped water from a trough. “Poor girl. I don’t have the money to replace her, but I don’t have the money to get her looked at either. I’ve been resting her since winter started, but nothing seems to work.”

“I might be able to help, if you don’t mind me working with her a bit.” Brom gestured to his own steed. “I’m a bit of a traveling storyteller, but I’ve picked up quite a few tricks for healing, especially where horses are involved. Can’t get anywhere with a lame animal.” He offered his hand. “My name is Brom.”

Out of instinct the other man shook his hand. “Garrow.” Then he paused. “I appreciate your offer, but as I said, we don’t have much money, and I’m not the sort of person to accept–”

Brom cut him off. “If you insist on paying me, I’d appreciate a hot meal and a porch to sleep on for the night.” He chuckled roughly. “I’m having a bit of money trouble myself. Don’t think I have enough for a room in town.”

Garrow rubbed his chin, obviously thinking it over. For a moment Brom was worried he would refuse again, but then a woman’s voice called from within the house, coming closer with each word. “Honey? Who is it?”

A woman appeared behind Garrow. Brom’s heart leapt to his throat when he saw a child balanced on her hip, but then he came to his senses. The boy was much too big to have been born in the last few months.

“This gentleman–Brom, was it?–Brom was offering to take a look at old Betty for us.”

“And you were going on about not accepting charity, weren’t you? Garrow, you are not going to let this opportunity slide after all the complaining you’ve done about Betty being lame. Let the poor man in!” She swatted her husband on the shoulder good naturedly. “I already heard his offer to trade. Brom, you are welcome to stay for dinner and sleep in our guest room if you can help our horse.”

Garrow chewed his lip for a moment as the woman went back into the house, the toddler on her hip staring back at the stranger at his door with wide gray eyes. “Fine, fine. You can let your horse into the paddock to feed. I’ll get my coat.”

~~~

With magic on his side, the horse’s leg was easy to fix.

To keep impressions up, Brom took to murmuring to the pained animal in the Ancient Language, weaving in his spells subtly as he checked each leg and gently manipulated muscle and bone. Garrow would occasionally ask how he was doing certain exercises, but mostly kept to himself, leanly corded arms wrapped in a well worn jacket and crossed on his thin chest.

After two hours of working with the horse, Brom managed to get Betty to put her full weight on her previously injured limb.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Garrow grunted. “You must be some kind of miracle worker.”

Brom brushed his hands off and gave the bay a pat on her thick shoulder. “No, no. Just had many years of experience. She’ll still need rest until it’s fully healed. I wouldn’t have her pulling anything until spring. These types of injuries can get worse and have a nasty habit of popping up again if pushed too early.” The farmer nodded, assuring the stranger that he would take his advice, and then, finally, invited Brom into his home.

~~~ “Marian!” Garrow called, hanging his coat on the rack beside the door. Instead of his wife, the child from before came tottering out of what Brom assumed was the kitchen. “Hey, big guy! Where’s your mommy, huh?” In one fell swoop, Garrow crouched down and lifted the little boy up into his arms.

The child giggled, reaching out for his father’s head with grasping fingers. Garrow humored him, letting him tug at his ears, as Brom followed the man’s example of hanging his coat. As if suddenly noticing the newcomer, the boy let go of Garrow’s ears and leaned over his shoulder, pointing with an exclamation of childish surprise. “Ah, right. Roran, this man here is Brom. He helped the horse get better.” Garrow looked back. “This is Roran, our son.”

Brom awkwardly waved. “Hello, Roran.”

Roran waved back vigorously. “‘Aye Bom!”

“I’m in the kitchen!” Marian appeared in the doorway that Roran had come through, wiping her hands on her checkered waist apron. Her dark hair was tied up in a loose bun. “Supper will be ready in another hour or two. How did it go?”

“Brom here has magic hands, honey.” Garrow set Roran down, letting him toddle off, and clapped Brom on the shoulder. “Betty will actually walk on her leg now.”

Marian flashed Brom a warm smile. “That’s wonderful! Thank you so much, Brom. Please, have a seat! I’ll get some tea for you both to warm up.”

Garrow led the other man to the living room and offered him a seat in a worn armchair. “I know it’s not exactly the cleanest place in the world, but it’s home.” Garrow apologized, hastily moving blocks, a baby’s play mat, and various toys away with his feet. “We had an unexpected new addition to the family a little while ago. Hard keeping up with two little ones.”

Brom’s heart skipped a beat as he accepted the offered chair. “Congratulations. Two children are quite a blessing.”

Garrow chuckled slightly as he sat across from him on the couch. “Ah, well. He’s not ours, really. He’s my sister’s boy, but she had to leave him with us. We love him as our own, though.”

A boy!

He had a son!

“That’s incredibly kind of you.”

Suddenly, a soft cry came from a room further in the house.

The farmer stood. “There he is. Excuse me.”

Brom nearly choked as Garrow disappeared down the hall. He had a son! A little boy! His heart bashed against his ribs as he realized that Garrow was likely going to return with the baby. He was about to see his son for the first time and he was the only person in the world who knew it. He braced his elbows on his knees, trying to calm himself.

Dear Gods, he had never been good with children. They were small, generally talked or cried a lot, stank, and were prone to all kinds of trouble. He never knew what way he was supposed to hold them, especially babies, and when they weren’t able to talk he was secretly terrified of not being able to help them or give them what they wanted.

Would he be able to handle even seeing the boy? What if he had to hold him? Stars above, he wanted to hold him, but at the same time what if he broke him? What if–

“Here’s the little man.” Brom started when Garrow spoke, gaze shooting up to see the farmer settling back onto the couch with a squirming bundle in his arms. “Sorry about the crying. It’s all they seem to do at this age.”

Brom cleared his throat, trying to fight past the lump he felt forming. He couldn’t see past the blankets. “No, it’s fine.”

Garrow gently bounced the child in his lanky arms, trying to soothe him. “Have any of your own?”

The question struck hard. “Ah, no. I’ve helped care for a few while traveling with troupes though.” Tentatively, as if he might be breaking some unspoken rule, Brom stood and approached the couch. “May I see him?”

“Yeah, yeah, sit. Shh shh shh, it’s okay, Unkie Garrow’s here.” Brom took the spot next to Garrow as gently as he could, his mind blocking out even the crying. He still couldn’t see him.

“Roran, what have you go– GARROW!” Marian’s flustered voice suddenly cut through the din. “Garrow, Roran got into your tools again and is about to smash a window with that silly hammer! My hands are full!”

“Shoot! Not again!” Garrow looked between the kitchen and the babe in his arms, clearly torn. His gaze settled on Brom as his wife again yelled for him. “Ah, here, can you maybe just–”

Before he even had time to answer Garrow transferred the warm bundle of blanket and baby to Brom’s arms and was out of the room.

Brom looked down, eyes wide and disbelieving. His arms began gently rocking the child of their own accord as a calm suddenly settled over his panicked mind.

The crying stopped.

And so did the rest of the world.

A pudgy face looked up at him from the bunched up blanket, slightly red from the screaming earlier, appearing a curious at the new face that gazed down.

Brom couldn’t breathe. Something welled up in his chest that wasn’t anything he had felt before. It felt like…pride. But that wasn’t it. It was something distinctly different but nameless, sending warm tingles across his entire body and forming a lump in his throat.

Then the baby gurgled and smiled up at him.

And Brom fell apart.

“Hi.” The Rider whispered, nearly choking on the word. He carefully used a finger to move more of the blanket away from the child’s face, almost scared to touch him. The babe gave him no choice, though, by reaching out with a chubby little hand and grasped the finger near his face with a vice like grip. Brom choked out a soft laugh, wiggling the trapped appendage. “Oh, look at you. Hi, little one.” The baby laughed back, and pulled the finger up to explore with his mouth. “Hey.”

“His name is Eragon.” Brom tore his eyes from his son as Marian entered with a tray of tea. She set it down on the table beside the couch and settled down next to her guest.

“Eragon?” The Rider felt the name bolt through his conscious. Such a weighty name for such a small thing. Selena had picked a name of power, of history and peace. The name that had started the Golden Era. “That’s a…a powerful name.” He looked back to the child in his arms. “He’s beautiful.”

Marian took a sip of her tea. “You’ve heard of it? Garrow’s sister seemed to know some history behind the name.”

“It’s a very special name.” Brom murmured, gently rocking the smiling Eragon. “He’ll grow up to be an exceptional young man with a name like that.” Unbidden, another smile split Brom’s face as he gazed on his son. “Won’t you, Eragon?”

“Do you want me to take him off your hands?”

Brom didn’t look away. “No…. No, we’re fine. I’ll see if I can get him to sleep.” Marian smiled at him, thanking him for a welcome break from stresses of taking care of a fussy baby while trying to get dinner ready, and returned to the kitchen.

“You’ll grow up to be strong, Eragon.” Brom whispered to the babe. In response, Eragon let go of his finger and reached out, touching the man’s bearded cheek. “You’ll blow the world away someday. I know it.” Bright blue eyes, not yet pigmented, gazed into the same tone of blue in the eyes of the man above him.

If only Selena could see them now.

~~~

That night, Brom slept in the guest room.

It was also Eragon’s room.

Whenever the babe became fussy, Brom would quietly and carefully lift him from from his crib, consumed with wonder at his little body, and would sit with Eragon on his chest. As the beat of his heart lulled the child back to sleep, Brom softly crooned to him in the Ancient Language, weaving the words to the age old cradle song from Kusta. He familiarized himself with the face of his son, gently touched his downy brown hair, and whispered the story of the first Dragon Rider, the story of his namesake, to him as he slept.

In the morning, as dawn edged into the window, Brom forced himself to come to terms with having to leave. His heart ached as he kissed Eragon on the brow once, placed him back in his crib, and gathered his belongings.

After a small breakfast, again cooked by Marian, Brom gave his sincere thanks to the family.

“If you ever come by again, be sure to look us up.” Garrow shook his hand. “I want to properly repay you.”

“You already have.” The Rider assured him. The warmth of meeting his son was slowly seeping away to be replaced this a deep ache with each step he took to the edge of the porch. “Thank you. And thank you, Marian, for the excellent meals. I have eaten at many courts in my travels, and your food has rivaled them all.”

The woman blushed and laughed. “Well, thank you!” She glanced back into the house. “If you come back, I’m sure Eragon and Roran would love to hear a story or two. Maybe you could tell Eragon about his name.”

“I promise I will. Your hospitality has been most kind.” Adopting the old Kustan bow, Brom bid his final goodbyes and mounted his horse. “Take care. Both your children are very special. Know that. I hope you folks have fortune smile on you.”

As he clicked the steed into a walk, a sleepy eyed Roran grabbed his mother’s leg and waved. “Bye-bye Bom!”

Brom didn’t look back. He didn’t want them to see him crying.

From then on, everything Brom did wasn’t just for the Varden, elves, dwarves, Alagaësia or vengeance. It was all for his son.

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 1x13 A Clue: No

“Previously on” recaps can be annoying, but there is an art to it and I love a good one. This is a very, very good one, summarising the last episode with ramping tension as the music builds, then cuts to a different take of the last scene as the theme song starts, and we’re into the opening credits.

This is a long one, so it’s going under the cut:

Guy estimates that the “inner circle” of Robin’s gang is “a dozen at the most” and I find it very funny that neither he nor Vaisey have twigged that it’s always the same five people around him. What’s more annoying than funny is that they don’t know how many are in the “outer circle” because that really should have been A Thing in the show (Forrest and Hanton should have come back to guest star! I will never let this go!) After all, we see Little John with more men in the first episode, there are other outlaws in the forest/across the shire that are either working with Robin, or pose a risk to them, and I wish this had been explored.

Djaq manhandling and holding her sword to Pitts’s throat - I love Djaq.

The first arrow Robin shoots is intended for Vaisey, but one of the guards inconveniently walks in front and gets it in the chest. The second arrow is intended for Vaisey as well but he ducks (”my tooth!”) so we can’t fault the writing for a credible attempt at Why Doesn’t Robin Just Kill The Sheriff, because in this scene at least, he tries.

Bye Pitts. You certainly were.

I actually really love this scene (which probably seemed odd given the high body count), but Robin drawing his sword and charging, with Much, Djaq, and John backing him up to avenge Marian’s apparent death/make a final stand, as the music shifts from the jaunty Rescue Theme to Marian’s Theme, just gets me every time.

Although thanks to the cast commentary, I can’t unsee Djaq flipping that guy over her head twice, but hey, it’s a badass move. Clearly they didn’t shoot enough coverage of this fight, because we get the same action from several different angles.

Other than the flashback in episode 8, I think this is the only time we see Robin in Crusader mode, and just how lethal he (and the gang) can be when unleashed and with nothing to lose. Even when the enemy retreats Robin remains kind of wild-eyed with rage unsated, and it takes a beat for him to snap out of it. It’s symbolism time - he sticks his sword in the ground and leaves it there, and we don’t see it again this episode (or much in season 2).

There’s some nice acting going on from everyone in this scene - just utter exhaustion, Allan and Will oblivious to why the rest are so distraught, Much taking it upon himself to tell them but can’t say the words, and Robin with the finality of “she’s dead.” Their faces!

Djaq is still holding two swords as she enters the cave, which is a nice character beat - no doubt the fight also brought back unpleasant memories/triggers for her, and she remains on edge, for the moment unwilling to give up her defences even when the threat is gone.

I really love this scene too (the gang mourning Marian) and I think it’s quite deftly written - Djaq’s immediate reaction being the importance of a quick burial (as per Islamic tradition), Robin trying to keep it together, attempting to ask John/Will to build a coffin but unable to, so deflecting to ask Djaq to prepare Marian’s body, before trying twice again; John soothing him and taking charge. Will’s single tear and speaking of Marian’s goodness. Much responding with “Good? Oh, she was... She was...” looking to Robin because of course his thoughts are for Robin’s grief before his own, and also that his own relationship with Marian was complex. Allan: “She was alright...yeah” that says so much, and of course John’s “Her, we liked.” Again, some fine acting, kudos everyone.

“I loved her and I never told her” is ironic because Robin still won’t tell her until halfway through the next season, and if he had in the aftermath of her apparent death he could have spared himself a lot of the angst of the rest of the episode. But of course he doesn’t tell her, doesn’t learn from this moment, because emotions are hard, and sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

I really love that it’s Allan that notices that Marian is alive, and his little “told ya” flourish.

Score note: while Marian is “dead” her Theme is strings, when she opens her eyes, it’s back to the guitar.

Guy’s guilt in finding out his impending marriage to Marian is based on false pretenses - would he still have forced the marriage if he’d known that from the start?

Djaq still has her two swords as they take Marian back to Knighton.

Guy, if your first instinct when told Marian is not at home is that she’s run away rather than marry you...maybe take a hint? “She cannot run from me” is a big yikes, and this confuses me as to Guy’s motivation in this scene. Did he intend to tell Marian the truth, but then convince himself otherwise (because “the excitement of the wedding” =/= “the wedding excites her”), but then why so angry when he thinks shes run? The difference between getting someone go/being left, I suppose.

Illness is a perfectly plausible explanation for delaying the wedding that no one seems to think of.

Edward is actually pretty bang on in this scene with Robin from a father’s perspective, telling him to let Marian go if he cannot stop it, and do the right thing. On the other hand...

“I am sick of doing the right thing” is why Robin is such a compelling character for me - because it is hard to always be good, to be held to that higher standard, and make the unselfish choice. I enjoy narratives that explore that, and this show is surprisingly unflinching about it, exemplified by:

The next scene, which is one of the most emotionally brutal/hard to watch of the entire show, in which Robin lashes out and does everything to drive Much away, including calling him “a pox”  and a “small man” until Much’s heart visibly breaks.

Now I don’t want to excuse Robin here, because he is objectively awful to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who is trying to give him support but also telling him some much needed hard truths (even if it is slightly self-serving, which is what what seems to set Robin off). But at the end of the day, if he loves Marian he needs to accept that it is her choice to marry Guy, to “do the right thing” to (she thinks) protect her father - and later of he does just that. For now Edward and Much are both right, it is more important for him to try and protect the king from Vaisey, because if he is ousted and Richard back on the throne so many lives would be improved, including the people of Locksley. But Robin has been pushed to breaking point all season, and has now snapped and can’t see reason, but is stuck in his own grief/rage.

But unlike previously, when Robin said regrettable things in the heat of the moment and then immediately took them back, this is a calculated attack designed to hurt Much the most, because he loves Robin so much that it takes A Lot to push him away. It’s a bold move to make your hero so unlikable in such a moment, because Robin really is unforgivably cruel here, and trust the audience to understand why. I mean, I don’t want to bang on about the PTSD, but it’s (partly) the PTSD, based on a triggering, precipitating event causing a self-destructive spiral. Robin needs some Ye Olde Therapy.  

For all the talk about Robin getting his title and lands back, nothing is said about what happens to Gisborne once he does, other than that they can’t prove he was the one who tried to assassinate Richard. Because really, Richard probably would believe Robin even though the tattoo was burned away, and Guy’s certainly committed other crimes that could be testified to just like they’re intending for Vaisey - and let’s be real, it’s not like a king needs evidence to order someone’s death (hello, season 2 finale). Boom - Guy executed, marriage to Marian annulled, problem solved!

So, the scene between Marian and Guy, in which Marian is more concerned with whether or not Guy tried to kill the king than the fact that he stabbed her. But its understandable, because Marian thinks there’s no way out that doesn’t risk her father’s life, and it’s easier to convince herself that maybe Guy didn’t do it to make the best of things. I think she does have some kind of feelings for him, or is at least moved by his feelings for her, and believes if nothing else she can influence him/continue working from the inside; giving up the mantle of the Nightwatchman but doing the same work (in a different way) as Lady Gisborne.

And then it’s Robin/Marian angst, round 3, and it’s a far cry from their interaction in the cave milliseconds away from “I love yous” - in both tone and body language they’re back in defensive positions talking past one another. The tension, it be thick.

Marian is making her best rationalisation with “deprived of love” and Robin not at all buying the Woobification 101. Once she tells him her decision to marry Guy, he accepts it, but it’s Marian’s reaction that’s telling, she’s surprised that he doesn’t argue, deep down she wants him to fight for her, to say that the real reason she shouldn’t marry Guy is because he loves her. It’s quite a contrast from the previous scene where Guy was very open about how he feels about her, while Robin deflects, but while she was conflicted about Guy trying to kiss her, she’s frustrated, disappointed, and angry when Robin leaves.

But really, this is rather unfair of Marian, because Robin did already declare himself in the cave (”we should be together”) without her reciprocation, so expecting him to take the first step again without any encouragement is a bit much.

Would a depressed person sit slumped against a tree all night?

“But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, I will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine.” Yeah...not going to touch that one. I appreciate that there’s a lot going on with Guy and many, many people find it compelling, but I’m afraid it’s not really a narrative that interests me.

Speaking of pure hearts: Much. Faced with the same choice he was counseling Robin on, but with the additional wrinkle of knowing the king’s an imposter, he still decides to stop the wedding. “Her heart belongs to another” is A Moment and I don’t know exactly why but I find his very soft pleas following this and calling her “my lady” very affecting. 

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she punched Guy in the face.

“A trap. I knew it.” I haaaaate this line. NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT ROBIN YOU KNEW NOTHING OF THE KIND IF YOU HAD KNOWN YOU WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF A DICK FOR LEAVING UGGGHHHH.

“We can’t be seen together” Right in front of my salad two guards on front gate duty, who get front row tickets to the kiss. Look at them! They’re right there! This show drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes.

I do love this dress though.

“An audience with the king has been suspended!” Going out on one last pun.

Regardless, I really love this episode. Despite the lack of fallout from the emotional wringer they all went through, I can’t help but smile when the gang does their silly little jump for joy at the end.

[sailorbadger]

The Fandom’s Least Favorite Character - an analysis on Kate

Kate is probably the most hated character in the Robin Hood fandom. Not even probably, she is the one who consistently gets the most hate. So, what has she done? Did she commit several murders? Did she kill off a beloved character? Did she do something so problematic that she deserves to burn in hell? Did she do war crimes? No, her biggest sin is existing among unfair circumstances.

The title of this post is kind of a lie. This analysis is not really about Kate as a character, but about how she is written, how the narrative presents her and how this all affects the fandom’s treatment of her. I started writing this because I am sick of seeing so much unnecessary hate for Kate. This is just me commenting on larger trends I have witnessed and a decade’s worth of frustrations finally being written out. If you do recognize yourself from some of my descriptions, I hope that this post will give you something to think about, but just know that this is not meant for any one person in particular.

I’m not going to try to convince anyone to think of Kate as their favorite character. I’m not even trying to make anyone like her. I’m just trying to see why she is so hated within the fandom. So, let’s start off with how it all began. Grab some snacks, you’re going to need them; this is a long one.

 Introduction: Is it all Merlin’s fault?

To understand the context in which Kate was introduced to the show, let’s first look at where we left off at the end of season 2. I’ll start with the in-universe changes first. The biggest change obviously is that Gisborne murdered Marian. This altered the whole course of the show. Marian was such a central part of not only the show but also the Robin Hood legends, that at that point it was obvious that things were going to change. Will and Djaq left the show as well. Them leaving is not as dramatic of a change for the show’s narrative since they were not as central as Marian, but they did make up one third of the gang. This meant that there was a need for new characters to be introduced in season 3.

In our world, things changed between seasons 2 and 3 as well. There was a larger gap in production than before (with seasons 1 and 2 coming out in consecutive years and there being a gap year between seasons 2 and 3), and some of the people working on the show left or were replaced. Robin Hood’s spot on the BBC schedule was taken over by Merlin for 2008 so I guess we could blame that show for everything that went wrong in season 3. (I’m obviously joking here but conspiracy theories are welcome.)

The most important change in my opinion – and I think this is even more important to how season 3 turned out than anything that happened in-universe in season 2 – is the fact that Dominic Minghella was no longer writing or producing the show. It’s surprising to me that the fandom as a whole doesn’t ever really talk about this, when in many other fandoms creators or showrunners leaving the show are usually a big deal and mark the end of an era. I myself only found out about Minghella’s departure from the show before season 3 this year, but it seems to explain a lot on why season 3 felt so different from seasons 1 and 2.

With all that out of the way, the stage is set, and it is time to look at how exactly Kate came into the show.

 Six boots, two feet

Season 3 starts off with my least favorite episode of the whole show (see my episode ranking for more details). It tries its best to address the events of the season 2 finale, but in a way that will let it quickly get to the season 3 storylines. Unfortunately, the things that happened at the end of the previous season were so important that they would have needed several episodes to cover the full impact of the events.

Kate herself is introduced in episode 2. She is immediately given a reason to hate the villains and join the fight when her brother dies. She doesn’t join the outlaws right away, but when she does, she essentially has to take over three roles at once. I do not think it’s a coincidence that I think episode 4 is Kate’s best episode and that she’s at her best before she actually joins the gang. That is the point in the show when she is allowed to be her own character rather than someone who is trying to fill a void.

Like I said, Kate has three roles to take over; she gets Djaq’s spot in the gang as “the girl one”, Will’s role as “the peasant with personal connections to the people’s suffering” (and interestingly, since Kate’s family is around, her connection could have been even stronger than Will’s) and Marian’s as “the love interest”. Since the season 2 finale got rid of both of the only female characters in the show, it was inevitable that they would eventually be replaced if the show wanted to include any romantic storylines (it was, after all, 2009, so queer representation was out of the question). With three pairs of boots to fill, and only two feet, it should not come as a surprise to anyone that Kate can’t possibly do it all alone. The show does introduce Tuck and Isabella as well to help fill the gaps, but I think Kate gets labeled as “the replacement” far more often than the other two.

 A triangle without a base is just an angle

Kate had all the potential for a good plotline. Her brother died, making her hungry for revenge, yet this part of her is only sprinkled in every now and then instead of being a part of her character arc. Instead, she is made a part of not one, not two, but three love triangles.

I’ll start with the Much/Kate/Allan one. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t actually exist. All sides of this “triangle” are… weird. The writers try to frame it as a legitimate love triangle, when only one person in it seems to have any real feelings for another character. Much is shown to be interested in Kate, but we as the audience are never given a reason for why he likes her or even how he fell for her. I guess we’ll just have to take his “I fall in love very easily” (from 2x4) quite literally. Kate does not seem to have any romantic feelings for Much, and she seems oblivious to his feelings as well.

To be honest, I don’t think Kate ever really saw Allan as an option either. At best I could admit that maybe she had a slight attraction to him, but I never got the impression that it was something she would seriously pursue. I don’t think Allan was seriously interested in Kate either. His flirting with her is quite similar to his joke-y flirting with Marian and Djaq. My friend and I talked at length about this, but Allan doesn’t seem like the type of person to flirt for real. This could be a whole analysis on its own, so I won’t go too deep into it here. But I don’t think Allan considers Kate a legitimate romantic option.

So, this “love triangle” only exists in Much’s head and in the narrative the writers try to force on the audience. The Kate/Allan side of it is practically dropped the minute Kate/Robin becomes a thing.

Then there is the Much/Kate/Robin/Isabella triangle that is not a triangle either. I already covered Much/Kate for the most part, so I won’t go into it. Since the Robin/Isabella relationship is not that central to Kate’s character, I won’t bore you and myself by going through it that deeply. The buildup for that relationship is practically nonexistent, and so is the end of it. The whole Robin/Isabella relationship feels forced, because the writers didn’t know how to properly replace Marian while coming up with something new.

Kate’s crush on Robin seems to develop out of nowhere as well. It looks like a pattern when it comes to romances this season. Robin himself doesn’t appear to have any romantic interest towards Kate until he and Isabella “break up”. After that point, their relationship progresses way too fast. It doesn’t help that they seem to have no chemistry between them, and Robin treats Kate like a child and then five seconds later proceeds to make out with her.

Honestly, if Kate had to have a romance with a character on the show (and with it being 2009 obviously they could not fulfil my dreams of Kate being bi but that’s beside the point), it should have been with Archer. The two of them had more chemistry in the 30 seconds they worked together in 3x12 than Robin and Kate had the entire season. It would have also made me far less uncomfortable, since the characters would have been closer in age. Which brings me to my next point.

 “There is only one thing worse than a rapist – a child”

How old is Kate supposed to be? Seriously, this show can’t seem to make its mind about her. In general, I do not trust anyone’s age on this show unless it’s been stated somewhere. I know some people try to base the characters’ ages on the actors’ real ages, but to that I say, “fuck that”. Archer is the best example of the fact that this show did not even try to cast people who are the right age, or even look the part. (Seriously, he does not look even close to being 20.)

That being said, Kate is written like she is both 15 and 25 at the same time. I don’t know if the writers had a specific age in mind when they were writing her, but there is a huge difference between those ages. I think it’s the most reasonable thing to assume that she’s in her late teens, maybe at most in her very early twenties. She is still living with her family (I know that most women at the time married in their 20s but it’s not like this show is concerned with historical accuracy) and her behavior is a little immature at times. With all that said, I hope it doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that I find it incredibly uncomfortable that all the men that are presented as possible love interests to her are fully grown men.

It is the most obvious in Robin and Kate’s scenes. Like I said earlier, Robin treats Kate like a child and speaks to her in a condescending way, only to then make out with her in the same scene. I must wonder why the writers didn’t just age up Kate. I think it would have been more interesting to make her someone who is already married, and instead of losing her brother, it would be her husband that dies. Of course, I would prefer it if Kate didn’t have to be a part of any of these love triangles to begin with but aging her up would have made the dynamics far less uncomfortable. (I do have to also point out the fact that Meg is also written like she is a teen girl. The show then tries to pair her off with Gisborne, who is even older than the men Kate is being forced into love triangles with. So… yikes.)

 Let’s take a break, drink some water

Let’s take a moment to recap what we’ve learned here. First of all, Kate entered the show in unfair circumstances and with only two feet to fill three pairs of boots. She was only ever allowed to be a part romance plots, and she didn’t get a proper character arc of her own. In general, the women in this season were not written well (not that seasons 1 and 2 were the height of feminist television either), and they were reduced to being love interests or tools to further the male character’s plotlines. Without Dominic Minghella involved and with a full year between seasons 2 and 3, the show lost some of its charm. Unfortunately, this meant that Kate was not the best written character. But I do not think she deserves all the hate the fandom has given her over the years.

 Interlude: Doctor Death

Before I get too much into how the fandom has reacted to Kate over the years, I feel like I should explain my own history with this show and the fandom surrounding it.

I started watching the show when it was first airing here on TV. It was some time during season 2, and once I had seen my very first episode, I watched all the following ones as well. With the finale, there was a problem. I had seen 2x12 and knew that the final episode of the season would air the next week. I was so excited for it, but then my mother decided that we would all go out and have dinner. I kept looking at the clock all day, hoping I would make it home in time. I got home just to see the credits rolling. I’m still a little bitter about it.

After this, I was desperate to see how the season ended. I’ll remind you that this was before it was common for shows to be put online officially. Streaming wasn’t really a thing yet. I did the only thing I knew what to do; I went to YouTube. The thing is, I did not know that what I had been watching was the second season of the show. So, you can imagine my confusion, when I find the very grainy version of 1x13 on YouTube and start watching it. Eventually I figured out my mistake and watched 2x13. At some point I watched season 1 as well, but I honestly don’t have that many memories of when I first watched this show. My clearest memory is being betrayed by my own mother when she forced me to go out for dinner.

Since I do not remember what year this all happened in, I did some googling and if I’m correct, season 2 aired here for the first time in the summer of 2009, with reruns in the summer of 2010. Because I have no other memories for context, I can’t say whether or not season 3 was even out in the UK at the time. Anyway, I did not watch season 3 for a few years. I also didn’t engage with the fandom until 2012, when I joined Tumblr. (A side note: while trying to find out when season 2 aired, I found the episode titles and descriptions. Apparently 2x4’s Finnish title was Doctor Death. There were some real gems on that list but this one was my favorite.)

Over the years, I had read bits and pieces about season 3 on the internet. I was still upset about the end of season 2, and the things I read did not make me want to watch season 3. Sometime in 2012-2013 I finally gave in and watched season 3. I was mostly disappointed by the season as a whole, and as for Kate specifically, I found her annoying. In the fandom, I went along with the Kate-hate that was popular in the fandom at the time.

I did a full rewatch of the show with my friend in 2016–2017. During that time, I didn’t hate Kate as much as I did before. Maybe it was that I had a fresh perspective, maybe it was that I had matured in those few years. Who knows? I was mostly disappointed by the bad writing. Even back then, I wished that Kate had been given a proper chance.

The next proper rewatch of the whole series I did was this past winter. I watched the show in a non-chronological order with someone who had never seen it before. This time, I was angry at the writers and found myself half-ironically becoming a Kate-stan. I also began to really pay attention to how the fandom has talked about her over the years and was unnerved by the hate has she gotten.

So, here we are. Time to take a look at how the fandom has treated Kate. Most of this will be based on my own experiences and memories, so if someone else has a different point of view to offer (especially from the early days of the fandom while the show was still ongoing), feel free to comment! I just wanted to give you my own history with the fandom to show that I have indeed been around for most of the fandom’s history.

 The hate-train for Kate-town leaves from platform 4

It seems that from the very beginning, Kate was disliked. I remember reading negative comments about her way back in the early 2010s (I would try to look for examples, but I just spent 30 minutes trying to find out when season 2 first aired here and it’s currently 1am so I am not spending any more time googling right now). There are fics that make fun of her and how badly she was written, and most of the jokes and dislike about season 3 seem to always come back to her. This attitude has been present in the fandom in other contexts as well. Over the years, the hate towards Kate has come and gone along with the popularity of the fandom.

Every once in a while, someone has tried to either write Kate better or even see her as a character that was let down by the writers. Mostly this has not led to any significant change in the fandom’s attitudes. I feel like whenever some of the older fans outgrow their Kate-hate by either just maturing and realizing it’s pointless or just not wanting to waste their time making fun of her, new fans come in and start the whole thing all over again.

I am grateful, however, that the general consensus in the fandom seems to be (at least in the year 2021) that the actress is not to blame for Kate’s faults. It still does make me uncomfortable that people go so far as to cross out her face on pictured etc. just to show how much they hate the character. This hate that Kate gets feels very misogynistic at times and is at least partially the result of the show’s misogynistic writing, but the actress deserves no negativity for playing Kate.

 What about Isabella?

One thing that is very interesting to note is that while both Kate and Isabella were newcomers in season 3 and were both replacements for Marian in the sense that they were love interests for Robin, only Kate has received a significant amount of hate over the years. So why does the fandom not hate Isabella?

I think that a big reason for why Isabella is tolerated – not necessarily liked, I haven’t seen too many people genuinely enjoying her character – better than Kate is the way the narrative treats them. Kate is essentially forced down our throats. The show is so desperate for us to like her that they end up making her unlikeable. Isabella, on the other hand, is eventually made into a villain, and thus we’re not meant to sympathize with her in the end anyway. (I could write a whole rant about how Isabella’s treatment in the narrative is bad but let’s not do it here.) Isabella also has the advantage of being Gisborne’s sister, so her backstory ties better into already existing characters. I think it’s reasonable to say that Gisborne being a fan-favorite in certain parts of the fandom doesn’t hurt Isabella’s case either.

Isabella is also only involved with Robin, while the show keeps pairing Kate off (unsuccessfully) with almost half the cast. I think she was written in a way that reminds people of Mary Sues, and considering how fandoms tend to not like characters like that, it’s no surprise that Kate got all the hate she did.

 Murder and being annoying – they’re the same thing, right?

So why exactly does the fandom hate Kate so much? Obviously, the writing is a big reason. Season 3 is not written well, which means that Kate is not written well either. She doesn’t really get a storyline of her own, and instead her main purpose is to be someone else’s love interest. I would also add that Kate doesn’t really get hate for her personality. Most of the hate that she gets in terms of character traits revolves around her being annoying, but that’s not really a personality trait. So I think the issue is not her personality, but her role.

The next reason won’t surprise anyone who has spent as much time in fandoms as I have: Fandoms do not like female characters. Well, I should probably rephrase that. Fandoms tend to hate female characters more easily than male characters. I’m not going to analyze too deeply on why this is, as I’m sure someone has already done research on this with references to actual feminist theory. There is a lot of internalized misogyny in fandoms, and female characters get hate for even the slightest wrongdoing, while male characters who commit far worse crimes often have a strong fanbase that will defend them despite these flaws, especially if said male character is played by a conventionally attractive man.

Kate is also blamed for things such as breaking Much’s heart, even though she was never really aware of Much’s feelings in the first place, so it was definitely not intentional. She’s blamed for every small wrongdoing in a way other characters in the show are not. I’ve seen people criticize Kate for small things that she has not even done on purpose. Some of these people then also go on to ignore the fact that Gisborne has committed several murders, taken part in the oppression of the poor and done many many more atrocious things, and paint him as a more sympathetic character than Kate. I understand if you do not like Kate, but it feels misogynistic that the female characters are held to different standards than the male characters. I can already hear some of the Gisborne-fans saying “but I acknowledge his actions and think what he did was wrong! I just find him to be a misunderstood and/or interesting character”. To those people I will just say: Why are you not applying this same logic for Kate? Why are you making outright hateful comments about her? If you don’t like her, why not just ignore her? If you are a Gisborne-fan and have never made these comments about Kate, this obviously doesn’t apply to you. And even if you aren’t a Gisborne-fan, but you do recognize this way of thinking in yourself in regard to some other character, I encourage you to think about it critically. I just used Gisborne as an example since I know he’s perhaps the most popular male character in the fandom (at least if Ao3’s numbers are anything to go by). I’ve also seen a similar attitude from a lot of Allan-fans, though in their case the hypocrisy is often not as obvious, but I’ll return to Allan in a moment.

Many female characters end up getting hate because they get in the way of a popular (often m/m) ship. In this regard, Kate is kind of an outlier since she doesn’t exactly do that, since there isn’t really a ship to get in the way of. Sure, she’s eventually paired off with Robin, but Marian is already dead by the time she shows up, and if people were truly bothered by someone other than Marian trying to get Robin’s attention, they would also hate Isabella with the same intensity. I do think there is one “ship” Kate does come in the middle of, and here’s where we get back to Allan.

Now, the ship Kate does get in the middle of is not in fact canonical. I am of course talking about the popular Allan/OC trope. If you go on Ao3 or Fanfiction.net, you won’t have a hard time finding fics where Allan is paired with an OC. This is understandable, seeing that the show only has four main female characters to begin with, one of whom is already in a love triangle with other people, one of whom canonically ends up with someone else, one of whom is actively hated by the fandom and one of whom just does not interact with Allan.

I want to make it clear that I think it’s fine if people want to come up with their own OCs for the purpose of shipping them with existing characters, it’s just not my thing, especially when those OCs are any level of self-inserts. (I personally don’t feel the need to ship Allan romantically with anyone. I just tend to not like OCs in any fandom.) Since Kate is presented as a potential love-interest for Allan, I think many fans who would rather see Allan with their own character or even themselves view Kate as an obstacle or a threat.

As you may see, this fandom, like many others, unfortunately treats the women in the show differently from the men. Male characters like Gisborne are viewed as redeemable so long as they are attractive, but Kate is irredeemable for… breaking Much’s heart and/or getting in the way of Robin/Marian or Allan/OC? This is something that really bothers me. I don’t mind the fact that people don’t like Kate, it’s the extensive hate she gets that makes me uncomfortable.

 Conclusion: Where do we go from here?

Like I said in the beginning, I am not asking anyone to say Kate is their favorite character or to even like her. I just wanted to provide some things for people to think about regarding how they treat female characters. I think it’s about time the fandom took a proper look at itself and critically thought about how it speaks about female characters. It’s 2021, let’s not hate on female characters just for being a little annoying or getting in the way of shipping.

I haven’t seen the fandom analyze that much why season 3 is the way it is. I would love to see some meta about how Dominic Minghella’s departure and other behind the scenes factors contributed to the story and aesthetics of season 3. I would also love to see some actual analysis on the season 3 characters that isn’t focused on tearing them down. If the fandom never made another post about how terrible Kate is without providing any actual reasons, I would be happy. I can sort of understand this immature hatred coming from 15-year-olds, but I’m disappointed to say that I have seen fully grown adults tearing down Kate in this quite misogynistic way. I know that many people do not intend for their dislike of Kate to come across as misogynistic, but it does not erase the fact that that is how many of those hateful comments appear.

I think Kate had a lot of potential. Season 3 had a lot of potential. It is quite a move to kill Marian in the middle of a Robin Hood story, so they had the chance to take the story to all kinds of places. Unfortunately, the season 3 we ended up with was not of the same quality as the previous seasons. Instead of just hating on the characters or story in general, I think we should focus on really analyzing the season, and even coming up with our own ways of improving it. Many people have already done this (though unfortunately many of these attempts also include thinly veiled hatred towards Kate. It’s your story, why are you not treating her any better than the actual writers of the show?), but there’s always room for more takes.

At this point I will shamelessly advertise my own “Kate should have been the new Nightwatchman” theory and my Nightwatchman-fic. I wrote the latter in a way that would let it be a part of canon if necessary. I think that by refocusing the story and shifting the way we read the text, we can find new aspects of season 3, and perhaps even enjoy it more. That is what happened to me during my latest rewatch, and all it took was watching it in a non-chronological order and talking about it with someone who had never seen the show.  

I’m not trying to gatekeep the fandom and say that only thought-provoking analysis or fix-it fanfiction is allowed. I just feel like people should be more conscious of the message they are sending out when they write hateful comments about Kate, censor her name or even cross out her face from pictures. Is it actually funny? Are you contributing something to the conversation? Is it actual criticism or just hate for the sake of hate? You don’t have to start writing posts in the defense of Kate, but you can just start ignoring her. It’s not that difficult. It’s fine to make jokes, but let’s start thinking about what our jokes say about us.

I once more want to emphasize that this is not a callout post I wrote with any one person in mind. So, if you felt offended when I was talking about Gisborne-fans, Allan/OC-shippers or Kate-haters in general, I can assure you that this post was not about you personally. This is not about any individual person. I’m just commenting on trends in the fandom I have noticed over the years. I don’t think any of you have committed any sins or that you need to be cancelled. I just hope that if you did feel guilty reading this, you’ll realize that maybe this post was something you definitely needed to read. As a woman, I would love it if this fandom worked on getting rid of its internalized misogyny.

I’m not claiming to be right on all of this, in fact I have a lot of bad opinions as well. I hope this post has provided people with things to think about. Feel free to use this as a starting point for your own meta or analysis. I’ll end my rant here, and leave you with this thought:

Kate had a lot of potential to be a good character. She did not let us down. The writers did.

[kitkatopinions]

Blake has nothing going on for her now or in the future except Yang and to a lesser extent her team. These are the consequences of bungling the faunus storyline and replacing it with nothing. They've cleaned their hands of Blake's personality and goals. Like you said ship bait is all that's left.

Blake is honestly the worst treated character amongst Team RWBYJNR + Oscar imo, and tbh, I think even Qrow gets a better rep than her. And that’s saying something, because Qrow has been so badly handled.

The worst thing about this for me is the wasted potential. Blake was really wrapped up in their horribly bungled racism/faunus allegory even more so than Weiss. There are obviously problems with how CRWBY continues to try to use the racism/faunus allegory in some problematic ways rather than dropping it completely, without seeming to put in any effort to actually fix it. Blake’s story being so wholly wrapped up in the faunus racism arc had made her character problematic (for instance, she looks hypocritical for being totally against reactive violence in the case of the White Fang, but is training to be a Huntress and is just fine ripping through White Fang members.) Blake has a lot of good to her character from volumes 1-5 if you can separate her from the bungled allegory however (although I totally understand when people just can’t do that.)

Removing Blake from the faunus/racism arc doesn’t have to leave her with nothing as a blank sheet that must be built from the ground up, her character should’ve stayed the same. Blake’s base character at the start of the show that remains pretty dang consistent for five seasons is cynical, stubborn, defensive, active, passionate, focused, someone who has more life experience and a bit of a darker worldview than her friends, someone who has a hard time making friends anyway, a fairly quiet, independent girl with a tendency to run when things get to be too much and tends to self-destruct and push people away, but is still brave and selfless, with a moral code she believes in (although misused, a character that believes things like ‘stealing is always wrong’ is not an uninteresting one. Blake’s moral code was just used badly.) Blake also has a more subdued way of expressing her affections. A few things about Blake - like her tendency to run, many of her insecurities, pushing people away, and self-destructing - started to get worked through and addressed in an actually meaningful way during volumes 4 and 5 (although her resolution with Yang was wonky, but I could talk more about that in a different post.) However, in good narratives, these traits don’t just go away because they start getting worked through. For instance, just because Zuko in ATLA turns to the good side and starts addressing his trauma and working through his anger issues doesn’t mean he isn’t snippy, hotheaded, and prone to outbursts anymore. And for another instance, just because Yang starts trying to control her temper doesn’t mean she’s no longer prone to anger based reactions, snapping, being defensive, and getting into fights.

While Ruby, Weiss, and Yang read as more consistent even if there characters are going in a bad direction - Ruby’s always been reckless and considered her team the end all, her character now is the incredibly frustrating result of this never getting checked or worked through - but Blake is severely lacking in many of her old traits.

Blake has become an incredibly passive character who can’t stand up for herself and tends to just go along with whatever Ruby wants, and is more than willing to steal and lie and let others steal and lie. She’s lacking in passion, even her supposed stronger moments carrying a more passive tone. She relies on others to save her, both by relying on Yang and Weiss to defend her from mean anti faunus people, and constantly relying on others in fights, not able to land hits and begging Ruby to help her when she’s left without Yang to do her fighting for her. She doesn’t make choices herself, literally in the ‘will we launch Amity or defend Mantle’ conversation, Blake is one of the only people who isn’t shown out and out picking a side. She’s no longer cynical and no longer seems to mind waiting around - telling her younger, naïve teammate who’s spent hours doing nothing that it’s okay that she’s been doing nothing and hasn’t really helped anyone because Blake knows she’ll do something eventually and admires Ruby’s optimism. Blake no longer is independent enough to even be temporarily left by Yang without reacting like she did something she has to be guilty and ashamed of.

Like, what is this? Seriously, what is it? They didn’t even fight and they have her reacting like this.

It’s like the writers decided when they dropped her faunus arc that they could now create a new character from the ground up. A passive, supportive, co-dependent, damsel in distress character who can give the other girls a leg up and fuel their more compelling arcs. You know what? May isn’t Maid Marian, Blake is. She’s Disney’s Maid Marian. She’s the encouraging love interest/friend figure who can be jokey sometimes, occasionally tries her hand at convincing other people to do things, and to prove she’s not totally helpless, gets a hit in every now and again.

Look, maybe I’m being a little over dramatic, but that’s how she feels when you compare her to the other characters. Even Ruby, sitting around drinking tea and crying on staircases until the plot falls into her lap two different times, is a much more active character than Blake.

The closest CRWBY have gotten to making Blake an active character was when they had her react in anger to Neo knocking Yang into the void, but again, it didn’t amount to anything.

The writers could have made Blake the same character she was before while still deviating from her White Fang plot. She could have continued to be an independent, somewhat snarky, brave, passionate girl with more of a cynical worldview and a tendency to overwork herself in her hurry to get real work done that would help make the world a better place, while she tried to push past her more pessimistic tendencies and her struggles to connect with others in order to be there for them, because she believes in them and their purpose and herself. And you know what? I’m just gonna say it... That version of Blake, V 1-5 Blake, is the version that works best with Yang! Like don’t get me wrong, Yang and this new character have some cute moments and it’s... Lacking, but it’s at least something. But Yang and Blake as she was could actually be a compelling ship, they could fit well together. And Blake as she used to be could’ve interacted really well with the Atlas arc and the story in season six. She could’ve related to Ozpin when they find out about their past, she could’ve been on Qrow’s side when it came to stealing the plane in Argus and have to be convinced, she could’ve been trying to talk the Ace Ops into being reasonable, she could’ve been at Robyn’s rally, ready to help out in the fight against Jacques and passing out flyers, only to get angry and upset when she hears how Robyn talks to Marrow, she could’ve been on May’s side when May told them they needed to take action, she could’ve been right there with Yang telling Salem what’s what, or if they had to split the two (which I’m more than fine with,) they could’ve had Blake with the Mantle crew, but stay behind to help civilians, or they could’ve had had leave the manor with May. And if they were going to try and make Blake guilty for a fight, there should’ve been an established conflict where Blake and Yang disagree about Ironwood, and then that leads into a wider conflict about who was wrong and who was right. I don’t know, guys, I’m not a professional.

All I know is that Blake doesn’t feel like herself anymore and the writers won’t give her anything. It’s frustrating. This was kind of a vent post, but... You know what, I can vent about it. It feels like the writers are doing this on purpose at this point.