#doc bryan imagine

[lostinthewiind]

Miracle Worker

Doc Bryan - Generation Kill

Rating: All ages

Drawing in a deep breath to keep your hand from shaking, you focused all your attention on the laceration you were treating. The cut wasn't too deep, but it was beside the woman's eye and you had to be careful not to cause any further damage.

When you and Doc Bryan had set up a quick and dirty medical station in the village, civilians had flocked to you within minutes, crying out for medical attention or even things like water and food. It was moments like these that truly made you feel like the marines were actually making a difference.

"Bryan, have you got any steri strips in your bag?" you asked. "I've got to close this wound."

"Let me check." Bryan reached into his medical bag and sifted around before pulling out the strips. "Here."

When the strips appeared over your shoulder, you took them with a thankful nod. Bryan then bent over behind you, head hovering just over your right shoulder as he watched you work; the two of you were always observing each other, eager to learn techniques the other possessed.

"I think if you-" Bryan's soft voice in your ear was cut off when you pressed the strip down right where he was pointing. "Yeah, that should hold until she can get to an actual hospital."

"If she can get to an actual hospital," you corrected.

"Yeah." He sighed. "If."

Once the wound was cleaned and closed up, you sent the mother on her way and decided to take a quick break before sending the next patient in. In the meantime, Bryan had settled back into his seat and a small boy no older than 10 had approached him.

You smiled into the water bottle you were drinking from as Bryan handled the child with care, gently guiding him into the chair across from his and carefully examining the scrapes on his elbows and knees.

"That's it, you're gonna be okay," Bryan whispered words of encouragement despite knowing the child most likely had no idea what he was saying. "I'll just take a quick look, okay?"

When he looked at the kid expectantly, the boy gave an enthusiastic nod and smiled. Bryan smiled back, the corners of his eyes wrinkling with the genuine reaction. It had been a while since you had seen him smile like that.

"Need a hand?" You offered your water to Bryan after he had finished cleansing the scrapes the best he could.

"I think I'll be okay." He took the water from you. "Thanks."

Wanting to get through as many patients as possible before the order eventually came to move out again, you summoned the next citizen in line. After treating a couple of minor cuts, you looked over to see Bryan finally sending the little boy in his way with a couple of bandages around his limbs and a water bottle in his hands.

Some people might consider it a waste of time to spend so much time treating one single patient, but you greatly admired the way Bryan was able to slow down his care and focus on making his patients comfortable—even in the middle of an actual war zone.

As he exhaled slowly, a look of relief spread across Bryan's face. That was when he caught you staring and that wide smile from before returned. "What?" He cocked a brow at you. "Something on my face?"

"No, no." You waved him off and busied yourself with tidying up your workspace. "It's nothing."

"Well, it must have been something." He stood up and began to help you clean. "We've worked together too long now for me not to know when something's on your mind."

You chuckled softly. "I just like watching you work with kids. You have a way with the little ones. That's all."

"You're just as good with kids as I am," he told you. "I would know. I watch you work with them all the time."

"Oh, so you watch me work all the time?" you teased.

Bryan's face flushed. "What, that's not what I-" He laughed. "I'm sorry, who just caught who staring?"

"Guilty as charged." You held your hands up in surrender. "It's okay if you watch me work. I'm very good at my job. Kind of a miracle worker, if you will."

Bryan laughed again; this time a deeper, richer sound erupted from his core. "I will not."

"Shame." You smirked. As you and Bryan finished cleaning and got ready for the next patients, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. "Do you plan on having kids of your own?"

Bryan narrowed his eyes at you. "That's a bit presumptuous, don't you think? At least buy me dinner first before we start discussing children."

"Oh, my God." You shook your head. "You know what? Forget I asked."

You heard Bryan chuckle under his breath as the two of you waved for the next civilians in line to enter the small medical tent. While you treated a young girl for a split lip and missing teeth, Bryan assessed a small boy's possibly broken arm.

"I've always pictured myself as a father," he said out of the blue, deciding to answer your earlier inquiry. "But it's hard to think about settling down and having kids while still in the marines. I couldn't live with myself if I was an absent father."

You hummed. "So quit the marines."

"You know as well as I do that's easier said than done."

"Very true." You sat back in your chair and wiped the sweat from your brow. "Quite the dilemma."

"Yeah" He kept his eyes trained on the boy's arm. "What about you?"

You took a few moments to think about that while you irrigated the girl's mouth. "Maybe someday, if I find the right person. I'm just sort of playing it by ear right now."

"Fair enough. And what does 'the right person' look like to you?"

You smirked as you sent the girl on her way and removed your gloves. "Well, for starters, they'd have to be good with kids."

Bryan nodded. "Obviously."

"They'd have to understand my line of work."

"A must."

"Preferably they'd be in the exact same line of work, actually."

"Oh?" He finally looked up at you, an expecting glint in his eyes.

"And finally ..." you paused, "... they'd have to believe I was a miracle worker."

Bryan's face fell for a split second before that same winning smile returned. "Hate to break it to you, but you might die alone."

"Maybe." You shrugged and shared a knowing look with him. "Or maybe not."

[roe-and-memory]

sometimes i just sit down, shuffle an album, and think about the songs in the context of cars characters

one of my original ideas was to”hey driver” by zach bryan being a doc song (for obvious reasons), and tonight i decided i wanted to listen to the entire Zach Bryan album . and oh my god. tears in my eyes.

tourniquet is a song about someone (in this case, its zachs pov) trying to help and be there for someone who isn’t cooperating, who doesnt want help (the person zach is singing about)

lightning, at the point of cars 1 and presumably a little bit after has this mindset. he doesnt want help, he thinks he can take care of himself — help makes him weak, help makes him unlovable — and its easier to feel nothing at all about anyone than it is to be emotional and reactive.

lightning is negatively reactive in the angry way. he doesnt want help, but maybe theres that part of him that Needs help — that needs someone to look at him with love in their eyes and promise him the world nobody had ever given him before. he rejects this help anyway, however, and he replaces it with that coldness that he’s so disgustingly familiar with.

but.. but imagine radiator springs becoming his Tourniquet.

theyre there for him to fall back on, theyre there to clean his scraped knees and promise him everything will be okay. he doesnt quite realize it yet, he may not appreciate it yet, but “i’ll bandage up your body and your bones and your bad days too” (lyric from the song) is so. Them.

“you’ve been stabbed in the back and the rest of your body — won’t you tell me where you're bleedin' from?” his refusal to ask for help, the inevitable of people figuring out whats wrong anyways.

the acceptance that comes with learning love is so incredibly difficult for him. the town teaches him its not that hard, that its not impossible for him to be loved, and that his behaviour didnt ruin him for everyone. they are his tourniquets, forever and always.

[gregxb]

What Your Favorite Animated Showrunner says about you.

THOMAS ASTRUC: You like shipping a lot. So much so that you torture yourself over watching two idiots who are so madly in love with each other, but are also completely oblivious puppies.

OWEN DENNIS: You're in therapy. Good for you.

MICHAEL DANTE DIMARTINO & BRYAN KONIETZKO: It's vitally important to thirty-five years olds who a teenager makes out with. That's not creepy, ha, why would you call that creepy. You're creepy!

AARON EHASZ: You like complex rich mythology and hard magic systems with strict rules. Your animated fantasy should be able to be broken down and repeatable scientifically. Also, your characters all have parental issues. I don’t make the rules, they just do.

LAUREN FAUST: You understand that true manliness is defined by an appreciation for bright pastel colors, frilly dresses, and an eagerness to wear such things when beating the crap out of evil.

DAVE FILONI: We get it, it was hard for you to come by friends and you don't want to lose them. But other people exist!

MATT GROENING: You don't realize he's done other things in the last thirty years, nor do you realize he's barely involved anymore with that one thing you do know.

ALEX HIRSCH: You are under 25 years old. You have great taste, and you like quality in your animation, but you haven’t yet realized that there’s good stuff out there that was made before 2012.

SUSIE LEWIS: You don't have low self esteem, what you have is low esteem for everyone else.

SETH MACFARLANE: You think that adult animation has to be the same formula over and over again. You're also living your life in a perpetual midlife crisis.

AARON MCGRUDER: You're tired of ignorant white guys shitting over Black pop culture...because that's your job!

VIVIENNE MEDRANO: You really like musicals and are probably a furry.

KINOKO NASU: There is literally not one single historical figure you couldn't imagine turning into a waifu body pillow and spooning.

JACKSON PUBLICK & DOC HAMMER: You have broad tastes, ranging from the lowest brow to the highest. There is no joke too blue if you say it fast enough and with an esoteric enough reference. You have a superhero OC, and you're planning on debuting a cosplay at SDCC.

N.D. STEVENSON: You're queer AF and have religious trauma.

MATT STONE & TREY PARKER: You're in your fifties while still behaving like an edgelord fresh out of college; but you're not incapable of growth and you prove it on the occasions you reach out of your comfort zone and conquer Broadway.

REBECCA SUGAR: You hear any and all complaints of "The Gay Agenda" as a personal challenge.

GENNDY TARTAKOVSKY: You're so enamored by the base artistry of groundbreaking, snappy animation that five sequels in, you're still trying to justify to yourself why you're watching Adam Sandler do a bad, vaguely Eastern European accent.

DANA TERRACE: You too would love nothing more than to parlay your childhood of playing D&D in the basement and writing queer fanfic into an actual career.

BRUCE TIMM: While the trappings and airs of more sophisticated fare are welcome and you don't mind dressing it up, at the end of the day all you're looking for is for the hero to punch the bad guy and save the day.

GEN UROBUCHI: You hate life, and happiness, and all people who are happy in life. But above all else, there's nothing you hate more than... (dun dun dun) utilitarianism

GIANCARLO VOLPE: You like a lot of genres, and don’t tie yourself down.

SHINICHIRO WATANABE: Your music playlist jumps from Bach to Bachman Turner Overdrive without missing a beat, padded out in the seams by some indie jazz band nobody's ever heard of.

GREG WEISMAN: You are the type of person who goes to Comic Con in fully accurate period-style Shakespearean stage dress and you understand that life will go on without a clean ending.

[nextstopwonderland]

I predicted to some people that we would definitely be getting a ‘we will hear from Bryan Danielson’ announcement for the next dynamite which happens to be one day before his contract “expires” (*cough* bullshit *cough*) and it seems like that was announced last night on rampage.

I imagine this will be an in-ring promo and my ultimate fantasy for it is for him to:

a. Address swerves leadership comments

b. address his commitment/headspace to the match

c. say that while addressing that he couldn’t help but focus on a certain old time rival who has been calling his mentorship/leadership into question with Yuta

d. wonder if maybe what he needs to fully be ‘all in’ for this match against the current champ is a good old fight against someone from his past

e. Conclude with: so fuck what doc Sampson says about not wrestling until Wembley: Nigel McGuinness if you’re ready in texas, I’m ready

and yeah I know it’s gotta also go back to swerve but sob lemme also have this 😭

(And then they can they run some bcc vs others shenanigans post this, and SHOULD. gimme some tags, gimme some Bryan and Claudio interactions about recent losses and refocused commitment, gimme some swerve interactions, some nigel interactions, gimme something)

Spoiler alert: absolutely none of this will happen

[contact-right]

GENERATION KILL • E03 'SCREWBY'

Hitman, this is Steel Rain. Reconfirm grid zone designator. // Uh, what do you mean?

[hitman-two]

if you aren’t already, please consider continuing amazing grace! 💙

I will be! Thank you for the encouragement Anon 🥺

The hardest thing is to try and stay in continuous order and not jump around their timeline with ideas and scenarios 🤣

[coffee-and-nap]

#except when he is and makes grown men wanna cry#LOL#Doc Bryan probably: damn LT next time call me when ya cut loose will ya?#doc bryan believes in making idiots bleed by a thousand cuts#nate just clean cuts down idiots where they stand#doc bryan just tells everyone nate isn't mean and then stands back and enjoys the carnage

Ray Person: I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ act you two have going on.

Tim ‘Doc’ Bryan: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Nate isn’t. 

[maybeimscreaming]

“There you go, good as new." and “That better not be blood.” with adam page please x

yeeees thank you for requesting!!

pairing - adam page x gn!reader

prompts - 'there you go, good as new' + 'that better not be blood'

warnings - minor injury descriptions, could be read a suggestive?

As one of AEW's resident doctors, you were no stranger to injury. Blood, bruisers, sprains, fractures - nothing phased you anymore. Of course, some people were slightly more reckless than others. You couldn't count the amount of times you had to tell Darby to take it easy before the poor boy did his back in completely. Other than that, you really only saw each wrestler around a couple times a month. Even then it was mainly to deal with the odd scrape.

But Adam Page? He was different.

If Adam managed to have a match without hurting himself in some way or another, you would go and buy a lottery ticket because that would obviously be the day for miracles. At this point, you believed he may as well invest in actual pink hair dye before the mans own blood did it for him.

Oh well, at least he was nice. The blonde had never been much trouble for you - in fact, the southern charm got you rather sweet on the champion. Trying to properly treat his wounds while those baby blues stared up at you was a chore in itself.

-

a knock on your door startled you out of your daydream, your hands fumbling with the packets of bandages you were stacking. Sighing, you wiped your hands on your trousers and pulled on a pair of gloves.

"come in" you groaned

"hey doc" came the tired voice of one Adam Page.

Speak of the devil you mused internally - well, daydream of the devil.

"hey Page, what have you done now?"

"uh..."

Well that definitely didn't sound promising. Massaging your brows with your gloveless wrist, you turned to look at the man. Now, you expected blood every time you saw the blonde, but this? this was a whole new level. Not only that but he was also accompanied by one Bryan Danielson, who at least had the decency to look sheepish.

You stared at them.

"Adam Page so help me God, that better not be blood"

He chuckled slightly, rubbing the back of his head.

"I swear, you two are gonna be the death of me one day" you grumbled, grabbing a decent amount of cotton pads and antiseptic.

"right, Danielson go sit in the other room, I'll send someone for you. Page just", you sighed, "sit down and don't bleed on my couch"

"go easy on him doc, he put on one hell of a match just now"

You snorted, raising your brow at Bryan. Them two putting on a killer match was a given, just as Adam Page showing up to bleed all over your medic room.

The sound of the door shutting caused you to tense your shoulders. One would think, with the amount it happens, you would be used to being alone with Adam. That was hardly the case.

You gripped the gauze pad on your gloved hand, drawing in a deep breath to work yourself up to facing the gorgeous man next to you.

"doc, you okay?"

"you're allowed to call me y/n, you know" you commented, wheeling the table towards the man.

"lord knows you're in here enough for that"

He chuckled, rubbing a hand against his shoulder. Your eyes met. the lump in your throat grew thicker, you having to swallow hard to get your next words out.

"Chin up"

You worked quietly and efficiently. There was nobody else to see tonight but the event had been long and you were tired. You imagined that he was too. Of course, small talk was exchanged but nothing wild. Just your average conversations of how the match went, what's in the card for the next dynamite etc.

The way his eyes lit up when you asked about his career gave you the jitters. You could appreciate his passion for it, as well as loving the way he appreciated everything he had been given and worked hard for. Adam Page as a whole was admirable. Thinking about how far he had come in the short two years you had been working for AEW made you smile gently, not realising you were being stared at.

"Your smile is mighty pretty"

A sharp breath was sucked in through your nose.

Did you hear that right?

"oh uh... thanks Page, not too bad yourself"

He smiled up at you, a gently movement that exposed pearly white teeth. You couldn't help but to smile back. Even as you dabbed the rubbing alcohol into the nastier of his cuts, his smile only faded a little.

That was until you got to the cut in his hairline. It was deeper than the others and, no matter how hard you dabbed at it, the blood wouldn't stop dripping down his pale forehead.

You sighed, tilting his chin down with your hand.

"everything alright?" he asked, laying a hand on your wrist.

"i'm gonna need to patch this up and i'll need to change it again tomorrow morning, you're lucky you don't need stitches you know?"

he bit his lip at your lecture.

"You have got to stop doing this, putting your safety at risk for a good match is not okay when you do it over and over, one of these days you're gonna hurt yourself and I wont be able to do nothing about it. This is bad for my nerves Adam-"

"Look at you, using my name"

You looked down in shock. In your rant you failed to notice him placing a hand on your waist - obviously a result of the stinging from his forehead. Now, the sight radiated warmth, a pulsating heat that caused your legs to shake a little.

"h-huh?"

"you never used my name, not in all these years you've known me y/n"

"yeah well" you started, "maybe i was worried this time ok"

Huffing, you placed the last piece of medical tape down on his skin, smoothing the fabric with your finger tips. He bit his lip, looking up at you. Not that you met his gaze, instead preoccupying yourself with peeling your gloves off and throwing them in the bin next to you. You didn't want to move. Not with his hand still glued firmly to your hip.

"there you go, good as new" you teased, tracing your fingers over the white gauze.

You began to pull away but was stopped by his other hand reaching up to the free side of your hips. Gasping, you steadied yourself with your hands on his shoulders. Now, your heart was pounding. Had you said something wrong? Did you miss an injury?

"Y/n I'm sorry, I never mean to get injured, it just happens and well... I like coming to see you"

You cut him off. The frustration of the day and fatigue were setting in. A sickness had grown in you at having to hide your emotions for the sake of professionalism. Adam wasn't the kind of guy to make things awkward if feelings weren't reciprocated and quite frankly? you were too tired to care.

So you kissed him.

You pulled him up by the shoulders and fixed your lips onto his, leaning onto his body gently but just enough to allow him to pull away if he didn't want this. Not that he did pull away.

Instead, he pulled your hips towards him, sliding one hand up your spine to rest between your shoulders. The shock of him grasping your hips in such a way caused you to gasp into his mouth. Apparently newly confident, the cowboy slid his tongue between your lips. He traced it over your teeth before entangling it with yours.

Eventually, you found it in yourself to pull away.

"does this mean you'll stop getting injured as much?"

He chuckled under his breath, pulling you close once again.

"not a chance in hell"

Thank you for reading! reblogs are wayyy appreciated :)

[itstheheebiejeebies]

Doc Bryan Tablet Wallpapers for @cody-helix02

if you have a request or want to be tagged for any of my edits send me an ask. don’t repost, reblogs appreciated. all of my edits can be found here

Taglist: @fromcrossroadstoking @inglourious-imagines @easynix @alienoresimagines @sammy-1998 @blenalela @punkgeekcryptid @wexhappyxfew @lovingunderratedcharacters @a-beautiful-struggle-of-life​ @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @vintagelavenderskies @mavysnavy @angels-fall2 @snafus-peckuh @alejodi0nysus @sydney-m @shadowsandmoonlight @mrseasycompany @gutsandgloryhere @ourmiraclealigner @johnny-martin-is-mypeanut @tvserie-s-world @serasvictoria @alyxzanderthebored @sergeant-spoons @labarboteuse @mysticaldeanvoidhorse @i-dont-like-bullies @silverspeirs

[ressyfaerie]

I love your fanfic and I've been wondering: What is your writing process like? How do you stay motivated to write so much in so little time? Teach us your magic xD

Ohhh! I love asks like these!! Lots of writers do because they love explaining the thought process of their stories!

Tattoos started off from a ficlet ask when I opened my askbox for fic requests (as some of you know) and I got carried away SO FAST.

I created this whole world I never had before, it was new and exciting! I should mention I don't often write AUs. My beyblade fics usually branch off of the main story (like what happens after) so this has always been different terrain for me. But making the AU has opened my eyes to the possibilities and new ideas I can create limitlessly in this new world!

I usually started off with random scenes that pop into my head. So far some of the most intense scenes I imaged before writing the next chapters (and some I can't mention cause spoilers!) Include: tyson and kai dancing scene, Kai drunk scene with the line "you've taken everything from me", Brooklyns backstory with Tyson (specifically in the kitchen), and many many others. (Some of my imagined scenes won't even make it into the story! They just didn't make the cut! 😣)

Soon I started to connect these scenes, making reasons why they worked together in my head. Then I started to just wing it and began to write chapter 2 onward.

From the beginning, most of tattoos has already been planned out in my head. My issue is

1.My horrible memory loss and

2.Making it too long and accidently making big plotholes!!

I'm really bad at making plotlines lmao. So I usually just jot down really quickly what I need to happen until the end of the story and add new stuff in along the way. After every few chapters I rewrite the plot line. Here's an example from before I started writing the Tyson/Brooklyn chapters (about chapter 35ish)

See how fucking messy it is?? Yall think I'm a master story teller but look where it starts!!

This is why I always tell people when they're writing jot down your plot!! Who cares how messy it is! Get. The. Ideas. Down!!

If you've been keeping up and reading you know how this plotline has changed.

The Christmas chapter became VERY important. And Bryan and Tala briefly breaking up also became VERY important in the plot line of Tala’s past!

Since it's so long I haven't had the time to re read tattoos to look for big potholes, but I'm sure they're around.

A good example would be in the newer chapters when Tyson is walking up Kais apartment stairs and mentions "so this is what it's like to walk up these stairs huh?" And then explains because the last time he was there Kai carried him up the stairs. Of course I completely forgot in the VERY BEGINNING when Tyson goes to Kai's place with Bryan to visit Marble he would have had to walk up the stairs because I mentioned the elevator didn't work. (Little potholes, but this one would easily be explained by Tyson teasing!)

Anyways, I'm getting carried away 🤣

Basically, in writing there are plotters and pansters:

I'm stuck halfway! We're called plansters 🤣

This is why in tattoos a lot of stuff seems new, yet a lot of stuff seems very planned out. (I sprinkle a LOT of foreshadowing in Tattoos! Bonus points if you pick up on it!)

So basically, to answer your question, my drive is, at its core… obsession. BUT keeping a moderately thought out plotline is very important to keep you going! It doesn't have to be amazing. You don't have to have a map of middle earth and three languages thought up before you start writing!

When I get lost, or caught up in the plot and planning, I follow my plotline and fill in the gaps from there!

To answer your other question… the speed… I just… can't stop. When I have a hyperfixation I go like a water wheel until the winter hits and it freezes over 🤣

However, grammarly helps!! Oh my GOD. Download the extension on chrome! It works in Google docs now too (although it's fairly slow) and it works in the archive upload section as well! It catches most of my grammar mistakes and recommends AND EXPLAINS why some grammar/punctuation is being recommended or changed the way it is!

So anyways. That was a LOT I know 🤣 I'm always here for writing tips! <3 my ask box is always open!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Mounties lied about social surveillance

When you think of the RCMP, you probably imagine the romantic sight of guys in archaic red brocaded uniforms doing close-order drill on horses while waving Canadian flags.

The reality is that the RCMP is a police force grounded in racial violence and genocide, which has not improved noticeably over the following century, adding dirty tricks, antidemocratic political oppression and domestic surveillance to its portfolio.

https://www.canadaland.com/podcast/the-police-2-the-secret-history-of-the-rcmp/

The RCMP lie about this. It's not just the official lie of good-guy Mounties patrolling the hinterlands for bandits and American gunrunners - it's a string of ongoing, highly specific, contemporary lies about the force's illegal conduct.

In 2019, The Tyee broke the story of "Project Wide Awake," the Mounties' social media surveillance op. On the record, the Mounties denied it, saying they were only using off-the-shelf commercial analytics tools, not spy gear.

https://thetyee.ca/News/2019/03/25/Project-Wide-Awake/

Lies.

18 months later, after an FOI request and a complaint to the Information Commissioner, The Tyee's got 3,000 pages of internal docs on Project Wide Awake, revealing lawless mass surveillance, sweetheart contracts, and state-sponsored hacking.

https://thetyee.ca/News/2020/11/16/You-Have-Zero-Privacy-RCMP-Web-Spying/

The RCMP isn't using off-the-shelf commercial analytics tools to watch social media. They're using Babel X, a tool marketed for law-enforcement, the use of which requires judicial authorisation under Canadian law.

The contracts for Babel X and other spy tools were issued without competitive bidding, on the grounds that the existence of these procurements could compromise the surveillance op.

That may seem anodyne, but consider: the reason the RCMP says it doesn't need a warrant to spy on all Canadians is that it is doing something "ordinary" - that Canadians have no expectation of privacy or due process on social media.

But (as Citizen Lab's Kate Robertson_ points out) its argument for handing out these fat, no-bid contracts to cybermercenaries in secret is that Canadians DON'T know this stuff is in use, and if they did, they wouldn't like it and would change their behaviour.

When it comes to warrants in other words, this stuff is ordinary. When it comes to transparency, this stuff is completely extraordinary. You'd think they'd have to pick one, but this is the Mounties. They always get their self-serving rationalisation.

Project Wide Awake encompasses both social media and "darknet" surveillance and casts a wide net; according to the RCMP's docs, they're looking to scoop up "private communications" including those related to "political protests."

The docs reveal that the Mounties bought a Facebook-hacking tool that lets them uncover the identities of private friends' lists. The ability to enumerate the private friends of FB users puts Canadians in jeopardy.

For example, the women who are private friends of a shelter can be unmasked by their violent intimate partners. Once the RCMP learned that a tool exists that puts Canadians' safety at risk, they had a duty to report it and help FB close the hole.

Instead, they bought a license from the tool's developer and used it to hack Facebook.

The Mounties knew they were committing crimes. To hide their operations from social media companies, they used global proxies to disguise the origin of their hacking activities.

They also created social media accounts under false identities, acting in secret, without warrants, and against the policies of the social media platforms.

All of this appears to have been controversial within the RCMP. When it was first under discussion, the RCMP's CIO Pierre Perron blasted it, prompting a flurry of memos about his outrage over the program's goals and methods.

Shortly thereafter, Perron quit and went to Huawei (!), bringing with all his proprietary national security knowledge; Christopher Parsons from Citizen Lab speculates that hiring a top Mountie might have been part of Huawei's charm offensive to win Canadian 5G infrastructure bids.

The controversy didn't end with Perron: in the training docs, Mounties who may have questions about the legality of all this off-the-books spying are advised, "You have zero privacy anyways, get over it."

The Mounties have a long history of authoritarian policing of democratic dissent. During the period of martial law in 1970, the Mounties used the cover of the October Crisis in Quebec to engage in a nationwide wave of burglaries of antiwar, labour and racial justice groups.

The goal of these burglaries was to steal membership lists so that people could be put under surveillance on the basis of their political beliefs.

With that in mind, it can't be a coincidence that the current surveillance op is called Project Wide Awake.

The name comes from an X-Men story arc in which a fascistic police force hunts down mutants and puts them in concentration camps, denying them the most basic of human and civil rights.

Sometimes, it's hard not to say the quiet part out loud, huh?

The Tyee's story by Bryan Carney is a bombshell. For more context, don't miss Cynthia Khoo's thread breaking it down.

https://twitter.com/Cyn_K/status/1328546829617782786

[tabloidtoc]

Us, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Pregnant Meghan Markle: My Baby, My Way

Page 2: Red Carpet -- rufflemania -- Hollywood style stars are tier-ing it up in this flattering design with feminine flair -- Tracee Ellis Ross, Kaitlyn Dever, Margot Robbie, Logan Browning, Nicola Coughlan

Page 3: Lizzo, Maude Apatow, Lucy Boynton, Jessica Alba, Lily Collins

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Anya Taylor-Joy vs. Isla Fisher vs. Regina King in Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandal

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Shonda Rhimes on the intense backlash she received over Rege-Jean Page's exit from Bridgerton, Kelly Ripa on her most embarrassing interview, Luke Bryan on his mother LeClaire's Instagram fame, Blake Shelton on The Voice's new coach Ariana Grande, Reese Witherspoon joking about wearing bottoms that aren't sweatpants

Page 8: Contents

Page 10: A Final Farewell to Prince Philip, his four children Prince Charles and Princess Anne and Prince Andrew and Prince Edward were among the loved ones who participated in the emotional ceremony, feuding brothers Prince Harry and Prince William (and his wife Duchess Kate) put their differences aside after the intimate service, due to Covid-19 protocols the grieving Queen Elizabeth stayed socially distant from the other 29 people who attended the funeral for her husband of 73 years

Page 11: ACM Awards 2021 -- Maren Morris teamed up with her husband Ryan Hurd and won Female Artist of the Year, Thomas Rhett won Male Artist of the Year, Carrie Underwood took the stage

Page 12: Hot Pics -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore an orange coat during a visit to NYC, John Stamos plays a coach on the TV show Big Shot, Zach Braff goofed around on the set of Cheaper by the Dozen in L.A.

Page 13: Eva Longoria on her trampoline while aboard a yacht in Miami, Howie Mandel arrived to the set of America's Got Talent dressed as a bug in Pasadena

Page 14: Jon Hamm and his rescue dog Splash strolled around the neighborhood in L.A., Heidi Klum in all white in Pasadena, Sara Gilbert and Linda Perry take a stroll in L.A.

Page 15: Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes held hands after dinner at Il Segreto in L.A., Patrick Dempsey shot a scene for his show Devils in Rome

Page 16: Rachel Brosnahan in a blue dress and carrying a clear umbrella on the set of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in NYC, Lin-Manuel Miranda at the opening of a vaccination center for Broadway workers in Times Square, Trisha Yearwood feeds one of her rescue pups

Page 18: Gen Z Has Spoken -- these celebs are making the young kids proud -- Baggy Jeans -- Hailey Bieber, Tracee Ellis Ross, Bella Hadid

Page 19: Middle Parts -- Busy Philipps, Lizzo, Jennifer Lopez, Kourtney Kardashian, baguette bags -- Dua Lipa, Elsa Hosk, Irina Shayk, Kendall Jenner

Page 20: Seeing Double -- stars bear a striking resemblance to their famous counterparts -- Elizabeth Banks and Chelsea Handler, Emmanuelle Chriqui and Nina Dobrev, Betty Gilpin and Jodie Comer

Page 21: Rob Lowe and Ian Somerhalder, Jaime Pressly and Margot Robbie, Isla Fisher and Amy Adams, Rupert Grint and Ed Sheeran, Kyle Richards and Kacey Musgraves

Page 22: Clueless Crew -- stars are totally buggin' over Cher Horowitz's style in yellow plaid -- Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Katie Holmes was rollin' with her homie beau Emilio Vitolo Jr. in NYC, Vanessa Hudgens, Dianna Agron

Page 23: Gabrielle Union

Page 24: Stars They're Not Like Us -- Jay Leno took one of his vintage automobiles out for a spin in L.A., Chrissy Teigen and John Legend took a selfie with a fan while grocery shopping in Beverly Hills, Kylie Jenner has custom vending machines

Page 25: Carrie Underwood in her massive walk-in closet, Denzel Washington signs autographs for fans in NYC, Megan Thee Stallion on a private plane, Drake and his bodyguard in Beverly Hills

Page 26: Stars They're Just Like Us -- Sarah Jessica Parker catches a yellow cab after working at her shoe store in NYC, Brad Paisley picked up five pizzas to go in Montecito

Page 27: Kelly Osbourne handed out goods at a drive-thru food distribution event at the Islamic Center of Southern California, HGTV's Egypt Sherrod transformed her closet into a meditation space in Atlanta, in between filming Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay and Ice-T take a selfie

Page 28: Hollywood Dads -- Scott Porter on parenting his two kids McCoy and Clover

Page 29: Jonathan Tucker on life with twins Hayes and India, parenthood is a lot tougher than Jovi Dufren imagined, Maksim Chmerkovskiy can't wait to show son Shai his work

Page 30: Love Lives -- Rihanna and A$AP Rocky are showing no signs of slowing down -- the pair enjoyed a night out in L.A. hotspot Delilah where they were holding hands and laughing and they're not hiding the fact that they're dating but they just don't want people in their business -- they're a good match and are each other's best friend

Page 31: Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber may look like the picture-perfect couple, but Justin admits that their first year of marriage wasn't what he expected, saying it was really tough and there was just a lack of trust and he blamed the strain on his own personal struggles and said before he didn't have someone to love or someone to pour into but now, more than two years after exchanging vows with Hailey, he has that

* Kacey Musgraves' romance with Dr. Gerald Onuoha is giving her butterflies -- the pair are so happy they found each other and while Kacey, who split from her husband Ruston Kelly last summer, is trying not to get too ahead of herself, her connection to the Nashville-based doc is off the charts and it's got the potential to go a very long way

* Today's Savannah Guthrie is thankful to have husband Michael Feldman in her life, especially given the demands of her early morning work schedule

Page 32: Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker are getting serious -- all the details on their whirlwind romance

Page 33: Adapting to parenthood has been a breeze for Emma Stone and she's soaking in all the precious moments of being a mom for the first time -- she and husband Dave McCary welcomed their baby daughter in March and Emma is super protective and a very hands-on mom and Dave is also hands-on and helps with their daughter -- thanks to the little one, Emma's marriage with the comedian has also gotten stronger and having a baby has brought them closer in a way they never expected -- Emma is looking forward to getting back to work; she's taken this time off to embrace motherhood and her number one priority is to raise a healthy baby so that's what she's focused on right now

* Britney Spears is setting the record straight -- despite her ongoing conservatorship battle with her dad, Jamie Spears, she is doing totally fine, assuring fans that she's extremely happy and she has a beautiful home, beautiful children and she's taking a break right now because she's enjoying herself -- although the legal drama with her father is heating up, Britney is staying strong and she has this wonderful ability to see the positive even when the odds are against her

* Keeping Up With Us -- production for the Downton Abbey sequel is underway, Mossimo Giannulli is a free man, Chrissy Teigen returned to Twitter 23 days after announcing that she was leaving the platform, Vanessa Bryant remembered her late husband Kobe Bryant on what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary, Helen McCrory lost her battle with cancer at age 52 according to her husband Damian Lewis

Page 34: A Day in My Life -- Whitney Port

Page 35: Colton Underwood is ready to live his truth -- during an interview on Good Morning America, the former Bachelor came out as gay, saying he's run from himself for a long time and he came to terms with his sexuality earlier this year and he's the happiest and healthiest he's ever been -- now that he feels like he can finally breathe, Colton is excited for his next chapter, which fans will get to see on an upcoming reality show with Olympian Gus Kenworthy -- a huge weight has been lifted off of Colton's shoulders and he is looking forward to being his authentic self

Page 36: Moms Tell All -- Happy Mother's Day! From milestones and manners to rules and nanny-bans, celebs and insiders talk about raising kids in Hollywood

Page 37: Bindi Irwin says life at home with her daughter Grace Warrior has been positively blissful and her family with dad Chandler Powell is so full of love, adding that the newborn has already met some of the wildlife at the Australia Zoo where Bindi and Chandler live and work and of course she's seen some crocs and really lit up when she saw them -- while the Aussie conservationist is sad Grace won't get to meet her late dad Steve Irwin, Bindi's brother Robert Irwin and mom Terri Irwin have been by her side constantly and Robert is obsessed with Grace and has been helping out so much and her mom has been the biggest guiding light and she's already taught Bindi so much about being a mother, both in how she raised her and by showing her things day by day and Terri is quite the baby whisperer and she's so great a calming Grace down when she's crying -- first-time father Chandler is also a natural with Grace and he's been the most supportive and involved dad and together, he and Bindi make such a great team -- for now, Bindi, who stars with Chandler in Crikey! It's a Baby!, is hoping Grace will follow in her animal-activist footsteps, saying having three generations of strong women working as conservationists is a dream come true

* Jennifer Garner said teaching your kids is a lifelong job, and certainly values are something you have to show them -- Jennifer, who shares kids Violet, Seraphina and Samuel with ex Ben Affleck, is staying true to her word and has led by example when it comes to things like kindness and patience and she won't let anyone in the house to judge or speak ill of people, and she enforces the same wholesome, traditional values that she was raised with and the kids have been taught to be loving, hardworking and fair -- Jennifer has always taken a kids-come-first approach to parenting, and it shows as they bake together, enjoy movie nights, read books and have very active lives and it's a very healthy, happy household filled with laughter and love

Page 38: Gwen Stefani has her hands full with her sons Kingston, Zuma and Apollo with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale, but she wouldn't want it any other way -- Gwen's a tomboy, so having three boys wasn't daunting for her at all, plus she has fiance Blake Shelton by her side to pitch in with parenting duties and Gwen and the boys have a blast at Blake's ranch in Oklahoma where they enjoy riding their ATVs, and they play baseball and football -- it's not all fun and games, though because Gwen is big on boundaries and manners and she doesn't want to raise Hollywood brats and it's important to her that her sons be gentlemen

* Meghan Markle's pregnancy with Archie was no walk in the park, as she revealed during her bombshell TV interview with husband Prince Harry, the couple had concerns over whether or not the royal family would provide security for their son and claimed there were conversations about his skin color -- but this time around, as Meghan and Harry gear up for baby No. 2 at home in L.A., she's doing everything her way, without the royals and Meghan and Harry feel blessed that they're able to raise their daughter in the U.S. and can live by their own rules and make the decisions they feel are best for their children; having independence is the most important thing for Meghan and she's got free rein to be exactly the kind of mom she wants to be -- her parenting style is really like most mothers out there, and she's been craving pasta and doing yoga two times a day as her due date nears and she keeps a lot of art supplies out to foster creativity and healthy snacks around and she's a devoted mom and wants the best for her kids

Page 39: Kate Hudson has a lot on her plate, so the mom of three, who shares son Ryder with former husband Chris Robinson and son Bingham with ex Matt Bellamy and daughter Rani with boyfriend Danny Fujikawa, knows when to put her foot down as things can get a little overwhelming at times for Kate, but when she says no, it absolutely means no, and the kids respect her very much because of that

* Gigi Hadid, who shares daughter Khai with boyfriend Zayn Malik, wants to spend every waking moment with her precious little girl -- Gigi could easily afford to employ a team of nannies but chooses not to and she prefers to do everything herself and besides, she can't bear to be away from Khai for more than a few hours

* Candace Cameron Bure's three grown kids are flying the coop, but she's still super involved in their lives, despite slowly becoming an empty nester -- the mom of Natasha, Lev, and Maksim with former hockey player Valeri Bure says it's been a very transitional time and she's been trying to help them make decisions they feel good about and it's challenging, but they're figuring it out

Page 40: Oh, Baby! Meghan Markle's due date is just around the corner, and here are all the details

* Bump Brigade -- Halsey, Gal Gadot, Shawn Johnson East

Page 42: 10 Years of the Cambridges -- a look back at Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's solid marriage for their anniversary

Page 44: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez: What Really Happened -- cheating and lies? The truth behind J.Lo's split from fiance A-Rod

Page 45: Friendliest Exes -- these former couples managed to stay close after going their separate ways -- Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz

Page 48: Gifts for Mother's Day

Page 54: Entertainment -- Ben Barnes on Shadow and Bone

Page 58: Fashion Police -- the most daring Oscars looks -- Bjork, Whoopi Goldberg, Charlize Theron

Page 59: Rachel Weisz, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady Gaga

Page 60: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me -- Julia Michaels

[hitman-two]

All Victors be advised...

All Victors (followers) be advised, we are on route (active) to our destination with our new mission (to be more active). Our ROE remains the same (pinned post). Break. Cutting the military jargon.... I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING INACTIVE... I went through some traumatic events the past year and couldn't deliver content. But I'm okay now and I'm ready to re-enter the fandom, bring this blog back to a more active state. Feel free to send in any prompts either for Doc x Grace or other ships or Character x Reader. Christmas prompts are more than welcome! I'll do my best to write up a little drabble before Christmas. I've also just found out Tumblr placed a 4k character limit on posts so sometimes your prompts might be in two parts, or will just be a little less in writing. I like to write a lot but I'm trying to train myself to keep it in a short-ish drabble.

[emmi-kat]

SPG Kazooland Master Post

Kazooland is the alternate dimension in the Steam Powered Giraffe Universe.  This post contains various facts and tidbits mentioned by David and Bunny Bennett about it on tumblr and the official SPG websites over the years.  Please feel free to share more information in the reblogs!

Kazooland was named for the mentor of David Bennett, Bunny Bennett, Jon Sprague, Erin Burke, and Bryan Barbarin, Mr.Jerry Hager's mime persona: Kazoo the Mime

By 1897, Peter Walter had unlocked the power of Blue Matter and   subsequently, created an alternate reality he dubbed   Kazooland.

Excerpt from The Story of the Cavalcadium

The Cavalcadium tried to  make a permanent portal to Kazooland in their building, based on Peter Walter I’s studies.

The  Cavalcadium was wiped from existence in an instant, and it took Peter  a few months to realize it had simply vanished. Time and space itself  left a void to forget it ever was.     

The  Cavalcadium building now exists in the seams of Kazooland, and acts  as a hub to many other parts of the dimension. A few doorways even exist on Earth.          

Current link to the map of Kazooland: https://www.thecavalcadium.com/Kazooland.html

Information available about Kazooland as late as 2014

  Asininia*             The dark kingdom of Ignatius Becile. Long having taken refuge from Earth, the   black-handed Becile has built a giant city which is depleting Asininia of its   natural resources and precious rock candy veins. His aim is creating an   unstoppable army of candy-powered automatons to consume the universe.

*name is derived from “asinine”

The 8th Dimension of Absolute and Infinite Terror           The only persistent door to the  terrible 8th dimension. Its history is unclear but it is indeed locked and guarded by Jumbo, The Pink Whale With A Top  Hat.* The 8th dimension is notorious for being the place of fermenting  nightmares and evil Lovecraftian Beasts.

*Jumbo can be found in the album The Vice Quadrant, guarding Commander Cosmo and The Necrostar

Horroria

A jagged mountain range of ash and  death, which is primarily a refuge for monsters. A couple of human  settlements exist, but the majority of inhabitants of the continent  are Vampires, Werewolves, Demons, Zombies, Witches, Cultists,  Poltergeists, Man-Eating Hamburgers, and Hamburger-Eating Men.

Hypexion V     

A presumed alien homeworld of the  Hypexions; thin bipedal humanoids with a sweet tooth.

Ironically Foreboding Shaped Islands     

The Chaos Sea marks these bodies of  land as a legend, but time travelers and fortunate explorers speak of  adventurous sailors, pirates, and buried treasure. It is  believed the famous Captain Albert Alexander was the first to have  sailed the Chaos Sea, yet only stories remain.

Lola     

The Hypexion Moon infested with the  diabolical Moon Worms. The Moon Worm Queen is held responsible for  eating a chunk of Hypexion V before she was destroyed, but a newly  born Moon Worm Queen is the talk among the stars. The   talking stars of course.

Lotsasand     

An ancient dust land belonging to the  ancestors of the Kingdom of Set. Though primarily a land for the  outsourcing of dust and camels, the age old tales of Jackal Men,  Living Mummies, and Scarab People still invoke questions of mysticism  in even the most skeptical of skeptics.

Meh     

An icy northern land of Snow Queens and  Mystical Creatures. Many a wise pipe smoking old bearded man tell  stories about this enchanted place, but few are listened to.

Merveille

Merveille is the remains of the once  great Circus Empire, which exploded eons ago and left a watercolored  land of saturated imagination. The inhabitants are mostly the  Speechless Ones, also known as Mimes. It is often described as a  tangible dream, and artists from all over the multiverse have tapped  into its presence for inspiration and escape.

Cities:                    Bip

The capital of  Merveille was named after its founder, and is a favorite spot for  vacation for Peter Walter VI. It was also in Bip that the Great War of 1823 was ended by a mysterious mime with a magical  kazoo.

New Pieland    

Once a paradise of wilderness, pilgrims  from Old Pieland settled here declaring it New Pieland after their  former continent was completely devoured since it actually lived  up to its namesake. It was quite literally a giant land mass of flaky  crust with a warm gooey appley interior.

New Pieland is home to many American immigrants and many other multiverse settlers.  Humans, Robots, Clowns, Cat People, and Vleeds are just a few of the races you'll find in the melting pot which is New Pieland.

Cities:                    Biscuit Town

Biscuit Town is a famous small  mining town in the eastern part of New Pieland. It is home   primarily to clowns, wizards, and talking animals. Biscuit Town has   been run by Walter Robot The Jon until recently, and was the first  town in New Pieland to elect a robot for Mayor. Currently, in  the Jon's absence the Mayor's Assistant Boft is  struggling with the encroaching rogue nation of Asininia, a  resource-hungry super kingdom of mad scientists and candy-powered  androids.    Preferbia   This large sprawling landscape   of suburbia is a metropolis of 1950's ideals, where the  beautiful residents are protected from the ravages of time by a blue  matter rich force field over the city. Created by a visionary man  from Earth after slipping through an interdimensional rift, Howard  Lloyd saw the potential of the unstable rift and created what some  have called the 1950s utopia of mankind. Those who enter  the city rarely decide to leave the prospect of eternal youth, but  some do choose to escape Preferbia's roving gangs of fish mutants and  frequent attacks by the Hypexion Moon Worms.

Snornia

Snornia is the last remaining haven for  mystical beings. It is cut off from the rest of the world by a  vengeful Dragon God, but those who have seen it speak of a fantastical world of magic and danger, with princesses in towers,   dexterous elves making shoes, and six winged warlocks. Humans  who find ways to enter usually do so to train to become wizards or  dragons, but many are eaten by the Dragon God, and even more give up  and sail to Party Island.

South Adventurica

A largely unexplored tangle of   constantly transforming jungles, swamps, and plains unbound by  any mappable record of time. Adventurers have sought to unlock the   continent's mysteries for years, and its surprises still continue to   surprise avid surprise seekers. Dinosaurs, giant insects, carnivorous   plants, elementals, Forgotten Gods, Bobby Darin, and Santa Claus are   all said to live here, but the only proof of their existence are the   ravaged journals from explorers of the past...

And that captured dinosaur amusement  park off the coast.

Verk     

A rainy settlement of time travelers  from the 1890s. It is separated from the world by an ethereal mist of  aether called "Henry's Breath," long believed to be   generated by the fat ghost of England's Henry the 8th.  Most settlers began traversing the aether via multidimensional  travel from when Colonel P. A. Walter I discovered Blue Matter in  1896, but all matter of being from the multiverse seems to have  leaked through to embrace knowledge, Victorian style, and to tinker with steampunk abominations.

Cities:                    Dandyton

The Capital of Verk is a bustling city  of inventors, scientists, airship pilots, alchemists, airship pilots,  ghosts, and airship pilots. It is home to the Verk Dandy Candy  Factory, many airships, and the Verkian Rift, a dimensional  hub to countless other realities.

The (old) Cavalcadium landing page including links to Worlds (Earth, Kazooland, and the 8th Dimension), Characters, and Species

Characters include (but are not limited to): Beebop, Bip, Boft, Brown Suits, Buster Becile, Captain Albert Alexander, Delilah, Doc Laborday, G. G., Guy Hottie, Hatchworth,The Highwayman, I. M. Becile, Kazoo, Lily Brennan, Lorene Keaton, Norman Becile, Peter Walter I, Peter Walter II, Peter Walter III, Peter Walter IV, Peter Walter V, Peter Walter VI, Rabbit, Rex Marksley, The Jon, The Spine, The Suspender Man, Uncle Ralphie, Upgrade, and Wanda Becile

Species include (but are not limited to): Robots, Samurai, Scarab  People, Seafarers, Steampunks, Talking  Animals, Trolls, Vampires, Vleeds, Warlocks, Werewolfs, Witchs, Wizards, and Zombies

The Temecula Rift

Prior to the 2013 Walter Robotics Expo, an accident occurred while 26 y/o Peter Walter VI accidentally sealed a Blue Matter Rift that he was trying to open for high speed inter-dimensional travel between Earth and Kazooland.  The result was an explosion that singularly hit Peter Walter VI in his face.  He now wears an iconic keyhole mask to hide whatever the results of the explosion may have been.

Links:

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/49702485000/regarding-the-temecula-rift

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/51763873084/walter-robotics-owner-peter-walter-vi-hospitalized

https://pawaltervi.tumblr.com/post/52636220497/a-message-from-peter-walter-vi

Audio posts of Isabella Bennett discussing Kazooland Canon circa 2015:

Kazooland Canon 1/3

Kazooland Canon 2/3

Kazooland Canon 3/3

Rabbit’s white faceplates are made from a porcelain-like material from Kazooland called Impossium

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews,  who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal.  As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for  a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy.  Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource. 

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work. 

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget. 

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries. 

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film.  One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup. 

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts. 

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here. 

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment. 

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually. 

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song. 

It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay. 

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious. 

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon. 

This Fucking Guy 

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully. 

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design. 

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars. 

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS. 

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not.  It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and  I still have most of the movie to go.  

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you. 

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things. 

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home. 

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk. 

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos. 

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so  it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up. 

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart.  If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he? 

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special. 

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby.  That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”. 

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here. 

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film.  Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so. 

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies. 

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level. 

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen. 

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night. 

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON. 

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free. 

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it. 

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him. 

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to 

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND! 

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to. 

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right. 

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens. 

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse. 

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it. 

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected... 

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant. 

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the  film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out. 

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days  as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review. 

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying. 

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head. 

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig. 

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s  athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy. 

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still. 

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not? 

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to. 

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout. 

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around.  This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up.  He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him. 

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me. 

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

[thatesqcrush]

Team Bonding

Bryan Kneef x Reader. NSFW. Warnings: dub-con, because he’s her superior. Oral sex, vaginal fingering, and fisting. Yes. You read that right. Also squirting. You have been warned. Oh, and this covers ice-skating in my naughty & nice bingo. This is most definitely naughty. 

WC: 2.8K

***

“Bryan Kneef doesn’t do ice skating.” A voice boomed from down the hall.

“Stop referring to yourself in third-person you psycho.” You rolled your eyes as you headed towards the voice. You paused in front of a decorative mirror in the empty law firm and rubbed lip balm over your lips.

“I told you, Bryan Kneef doesn’t do ice skating.”

You rubbed your lips together, and then made way to the lobby, finding the acerbic head of litigation at STR Laurie, sitting in a chair, with a scowl on his face. Which, lets face it, was nothing new for Bryan Kneef.

“Look, I know this is the last thing you wanted to be doing. But your bosses up there, wanted to make the transition with Reddick Boseman smooth.” You pointed towards the ceiling and then pointed back down. “It’s not my fault we got paired up together. You said I could choose what we got to do. I chose ice skating.”

You walked past him and hit the button, calling for the elevator. You crossed your arms and began tapping your foot, irritated. “Well?”

Bryan glowered and then stood. “Fine.”

**

When STR Laurie announced that they wanted to do a team building exercise with Reddick Boseman & Lockhart, you were less than thrilled. The last thing you wanted to do was spend more time with work on your weekend. Especially when you were paired with Bryan. You were not blind, the man was fucking gorgeous and he cropped up in many a fantasy with your battery operated boyfriend. However, his attitude left much to be desired. He would work you and the rest of the paralegal department to the bone. You knew from his bio on the firm website, that he started himself as a paralegal upon graduating from Northwestern Law – you figured he’d be cognizant of how to treat junior staff, probably having been through it himself. Instead, he chose to continue the cycle of asshole treatment. Bryan tried to get out of it himself, but his own boss Gavin Firth told him to make nice and take part – especially if he wanted to keep leading the litigation department and not give it to Diane. Backed into a corner, Bryan reluctantly agreed.

Initially, he had hoped he would be paired with a fellow colleague who he would be able to convince to blow off this event and hit high end bar with. And if not that, he had hoped it was the blonde secretary with big tits two floors down that he could wham, bam, thank you ma’am and then move on from. Instead – he got stuck with you – the mousy senior paralegal. He knew who were – he knew who everyone was. You had worked with him on a few cases before. You were very good at your job but otherwise, left little to the imagination with your baggy, shapeless sacks of dresses and frumpy sweaters. There was no desire for him to try to get under your skirt. Not when there was a bevvy of women and men he could have, just a dial away.

As the elevator went down, Bryan chose to study your profile. Though you were bundled up to the hilt in a white puffer coat and burgundy hat, he could still see your long lashes and lush lips that had a sheen from whatever you put on them. His nose caught the barest whiff of perfume and he had to admit that it smelled lovely. The elevator landed and you walked out first. He was surprised to see a shapely ass under the dark denim fitted jeans you wore.

STR was close to Millennium Park. You both made way through to the ice skating rink, barely a word between you. You were meeting a few other STR/Boseman colleagues and friends from your department who were already there. Bryan paid for the skating rental and soon enough you were both on the ice. You skated towards your friends with ease, leaving the attorney behind, gripping the sides. A look of panic was on his face as he tried to maintain balance. You turned around and let out a derisive laugh before skating back towards him, offering your hand.

“Is the big bad lawyer afraid of a little ice?” You mocked.

“Shut up and leave me alone. I am here, aren’t I? Go back to your friends and go take your pictures. Make fun of me all you want. Come Monday, I am going to bury you all with doc production.” Bryan sneered.

You skated closer to him and offered your hand once more. “Come on, it’s not that hard – watch me.” You stood next to him. “Your knees should always stay slightly bent. That position lowers your center of gravity, stabilizing you. It also helps you to skate without falling. Also, you should always have your weight positioned over your skating leg. One time you’re skating on the right leg, and the next moment on the left one. Every time you switch legs, you must shift your weight so that it’s over the skating leg.”

You demonstrated what you had explained and then repeated it. Bryan looked at you like a deer in headlights. Your lips twitched into a small smile. “Give me your hand.”

Bryan sighed, his breath causing a small puff of air. “Fine.” He grunted and took your hand. Your hand and his hand were encased in gloves and you mourned the idea that you weren’t holding hands bare skin to bare skin. You skated easily and Bryan wobbled a bit behind, but managing to keep pace. However, at one point, another skater flew by catching Bryan off guard and he lost his balance, falling, bringing you down with him.

“Mother fucking cock sucker son of a bitch!” You swore loudly, rubbing the side of your left ankle. “Ugh, I think I twisted it, you jerk!” Tears pricked your eyes.

“You? How about me?” Bryan snapped. “I can’t even get stand up without falling down.”

“Boo hoo asshole.” Two of your friends helped you up and you tried to bear weight but found that you could not. You were helped off the ice and Bryan followed, clambering to get off the ice, using the wall of the rink to help him.

You winced as you remove the skate, examining your ankle. It was starting to swell and the area was tender to touch. Bryan sat next to you, removing his own skates as well.

“How bad is it?” You heard him ask. You looked at him. “It’s sprained.”

For a brief moment, he looked remorseful. And just as quickly as you blinked, it was gone. “I’ll get us a car; I’ll take you home.”

You cocked your brow. “Excuse me, I can get home on my own just fine.” And stubborn as you were, you tried to stand but let out a grimace of pain, plopping back onto the hard bench.

“Let me take you home.” Bryan replied.

“Wonderful.” You seethed. Bryan returned your skates, along with his and brought over you shoes. You smashed your foot into your sneaker as best you could. Bryan offered his arm and begrudgingly, you took it, and limped out of the park. The ride home was uneventful, again with barely any conversation. You hobbled up the stairs rather comically and it was Bryan’s turn to roll his eyes at your pathetic attempt. You yelped as he suddenly picked you up, bridal style.

“What’s your apartment?”

“2D.” You replied mournfully, feeling embarrassed and humiliated that you could barely manage to get around and now you were being carried like a baby. There was a small part of you, however, that squealed inwardly. You clutched onto Bryan, his body solid and warm. He smelled wonderful and you allowed yourself to pretend to be swept away by the handsome lawyer.

**

“I got it from here, you can put me down.” You insisted once you were both inside. You both took off your coats. Bryan swallowed hard – for all the mousy outfits you wore at work, today you wore a form fitting sweater, which showed off the dip of your hip and swells of your tits.

Bryan carefully set you down and sharp pain shot up your leg and you swore again. “Maybe you should see someone.”

“I’ll tape it and ice it,” you reassured Bryan. “I’ll be fine.” This earned you an exasperated sigh. “I will take some ibuprofen,” you added for good measure.

Bryan grumbled in French about you being stubborn as he made way through your apartment. “I heard that, and you’re one to talk,” you replied cheekily, surprising him that you knew another language. Bryan was further surprised at your modest, but overall modern apartment. He liked the exposed brick and thought your small Christmas tree with its large, vintage bulbs was tacky, but charming in a way. He went into your kitchen and rummaged through your freezer, before returning with a bag of frozen peas.

“Put this on your ankle.” Bryan ordered. You took the bag. You propped your ankle onto your coffee table and stuck the bag on. You looked up at him. “I’m good. You can go now – and don’t worry, I’ll be in on Monday. Thanks for the lift.”

Bryan nodded and turned away, making his way back down your hallway. As soon as he did, you attempted to stand and swore loudly once more. Bryan turned on the balls on his feet. “Christ, Y/N, at least wait ‘til I am gone.”

“Wha—hey!” You shouted as he picked you up again, this time over his shoulder, so you were face to his ass. He gave your ass a playful spank and made his way down your other hallway, looking for your bedroom. “Put me down!”

He found it fairly quickly and unceremoniously threw you onto your bed.

“Are you always this stubborn?” He asked, his hands on his hips. He eyed your bedroom. It was small, like the rest of your apartment.

“Are you always a pretentious asshole?” You asked. Finally, you couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why are you being nice to me?”

Bryan didn’t respond. Instead, he sat next to you. “I know everyone thinks I am an asshole.” You snorted and Bryan let out a defeated sigh. “Okay, so I am an asshole. But I am still a fucking person.”

“The devil has feelings?” You covered your mouth and then cringed. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Bryan shrugged. “For all the shit I do, yeah, I do.” He turned to you. “Look, I am sorry that I hurt your ankle. And maybe take Monday off – see a doctor. Don’t worry about it. I will make sure it doesn’t count against your PTO.”

You looked at him and you smiled. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

You were suddenly aware that Bryan was in your bedroom, on your bed. He looked debonair in his burgundy sweater and dark jeans. You could see the dark beard with the tiniest flecks of grey. When he began to massage your foot, you felt desire pool in your most intimate of parts.

“Bryan – I…” You swallowed hard. He looked up at you, his green eyes were intense and he gave the slightest nod to you. You leapt into his lap, ignoring the screaming pain of your ankle and kissed him. Bryan kissed you in return and slipped his tongue into your mouth, seeking and exploring. His hands were over your ass, grabbing at your flesh. He gave you a playful squeeze which earned him a moan from you.

A hand moved up and under your sweater, skillfully unhooking your bra and immediately moving to your breasts. He tugged and twisted a nipple, enjoying how you squirmed in his embrace.

“Let me take care of you,” Bryan replied breaking the kiss. You nodded, panting. You removed your sweater and fished off your bra. His eyes darkened at the sight of your shapely breasts. He couldn’t wait to get his mouth on them.

“Oh yes,” you agreed, practically purring. “I ache.”

Bryan hummed in acknowledgement. He pushed you back onto the bed and helped you out of your jeans. Slowly his hand made its way back under your underwear, along your hip. Your breathing hitched as his hand moved closer to the apex of your thighs. You were already sopping in anticipation.

“You’re so wet,” Bryan noted, a single finger stroking you briefly, before slipping inside. You sighed at the feeling of his finger in you. Encouraging, you pushed your panties to the side allowing him greater access.

Bryan slipped another finger inside of you, his tempo quickening. You began moving against his hand, mewling as he continued his ministrations. His fingers pumped in and out of you faster and faster. You cried out in pleasure. Bryan slowed his momentum before removing his fingers completely. You whimpered in protest and Bryan made a big show of sucking on his fingers. “You are delicious.” Bryan commented and you blushed in response.

Leaning over, he grabbed a pillow and encouraged you to lift your hips, placing the pillow under you. You spread your legs wantonly and unabashedly. Nipping your thighs, Bryan nestled in between your legs, his tongue in your folds, licking you and swirling his tongue on your swollen clitoris. You groaned, and your hands lost themselves in his dark hair, trying to keep him in place. The added feel of his beard along your sensitive skin only heightened your pleasure.

Bryan hummed in agreement and the vibrations sent shockwaves up your body. You arched your back as his tongue flicked on your clitoris as he slipped two fingers back in, all the way deep to the knuckle. Ignoring your aching ankle, your hips rose to meet the thrusts of his fingers. A third finger slipped inside, stretching you.

“Oh shit! Bryan!”

“That’s right, take it.” Bryan whispered. His thumb rubbed your clitoris haphazardly. You like getting fucked by my hand?”

“Yes, fuck, give it to me!” Your legs were shaking. “I am going to cum.” You groaned.

“Not yet.” Bryan grunted. He withdrew his hand and you whined at the lost contact. “Do you have any lube?”

You looked up at him, curious. “Uh, top drawer. Condoms in there too.”

Bryan winked at you and moved off your bed. As he rummaged through your drawer, you eyed the tent in his pants hungrily.

Bryan removed his shirt, leaving his jeans on. Seeing his thick body, with his dusty rose nipples and smattering of chest hair – he was even more hot than you could have imagined. He spread your legs again and dipped his head once more tasting you. You watched as he drizzled lube along your folds and then over his hand. He tucked his thumb into his palm, tapering his fingers and then slowly penetrated you until his entire hand was inside of you.

You let out a sound that was akin to animalistic howl. “Holy shit, holy shit, oh my God!” Bryan began rock his hand back and forth, fucking you with his fist. You felt so full and all you could think – or even say was more, more, more!

“Cum for me,” Bryan growled, his fingers finding that sweet spot that no one else ever had. You sobbed in pleasure and he dipped his head back between your legs and flicked his tongue against your clit. You came hard, shouting his name, grabbing the sheets haphazardly. Bryan continued to pump in and out of you, while looking up at you. A smirk graced his face, and he stroked that sweet spot once more. Your lungs burned as you gasped for air, feeling tremendous pressure and then release as you squirted all over Bryan’s face. Bryan lapped at you through your orgasm until it subsided. Slowly he removed his fist. Moving back up to you, he pushed his fingers into your mouth. “Suck” he ordered. You sucked on his fingers, tasting yourself.

You nipped Bryan’s fingers playfully and he chuckled, removing them. He pressed a kiss on your lips. “Feeling better?”

“Mmmm much,” you replied grinning. Pushing Bryan gently back onto the bed, you climbed onto him. “But I do think more TLC is in order,” you replied taking his hands and placing them on your breasts. “Up to the challenge, Mr. Kneef?”

Bryan winked. “I think I like my odds.”

FIN.

--

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