#doesn't matter that I have an master's degree bc everyone knows more than I do about my field of study!🤡📈

[sophiaphile]

so sick of the 'how dare you' attitude people give me for just existing

[omghallucinations]

charts that made me go "oh boy": stray kids lee know

ok. well. i've been on a journey.

i was innocently inputting idols with known birth times into my astro software as i do and i put this guy in and said "oh... oh boy..." out loud so obviously i decided to do a write-up

i finished this write-up. realized i was bias wrecked all to hell. so. there u go. let this be a warning to you all. be careful whose chart you analyze because you could end up with a Problem!!

unrelated (related) i just love a sagittarius moon. my favorite moon there is. some people love a taurus moon, fair, valid (also lee know has his moon in the 2nd which is basically a layer of taurusy vibe) but i love a sagittarius moon most of all. those guys are crazy (affectionate). you cannot kill them in any way that matters. truly understand the inherent hilariousness of life... .. somehow can always see through the illusions of capitalism... i love them.

who is this anaretic degree ass

girl how many important degrees... do u need... ... i have two 29s and one 0 in my chart and i thought that was a lot...

lee know has both venus and neptune at 29 (and venus at 29.59 which is, wow old soul ready to get the hell off this lawn much?). the anaretic degree is the "fated degree"--it's like, your soul has just about mastered this energy and is about to take it somewhere else (bc the next degree is not 30, it's 0 of the next sign) so it's time for some TESTS. it's crises and gifts. often you're naturally good at this energy in whatever form that takes, but it's gonna fuck with you on and off throughout your life. more during the first half to be fair. especially with that 0 degree saturn, he'll probably be in way better shape after his saturn return.

venus at 29(.59?!?!) in libra -- ok i also have venus at 29 (.09!), so i can tell you that he never has to be single if he doesn't want to be, but it is not gonna go right for a long ass time and he's gonna be weird and intense about relationships and it will not feel good. he might think it is going right. he is wrong. get ready for some gifts but ALSO some crises with love and creativity and beauty and shit--especially with venus at home in libra and his scorpio rising. he's definitely captivating, and can probably bamboozle whoever he wants with his beauty and charm, but his crisis and urgency feeling in love is probably a Whole Lot both for him and for his partners. and it's in the 12th house like.. .. . oh boy honey. he's gonna hide his need for love and validation and his sensitivity so hard. also literally his relationships (and they'll probably be undefined for a long time) despite the fact that every one is gonna be so intense.

it's also opposite his 0 degree saturn????? girl!! and conjunct his sun also in the 12th... .. . . . well at least you are so beautiful and charming and generous, lee know, and everyone really likes you. i know u issues and tremendous sensitivity that you hide like crazy and probably a judgmental family member (who probably means well, unfortunately!) whose influence burdens u even now as u feel like there are somehow always Forces Working Against You for no reason! even tho u just gotta Believe In Yourself dot mp3.....

bright side! when he works through some of this stuff he's very likely gonna have a very solid and mature marriage and he already has sort of a maturity leg-up, thank u saturn in taurus and juno conjunct sun. eventually you will look back on the many unhinged texts you sent at 2am and laugh... . .. more than you already do, you sagittarius moon, you!!

neptune at 29 capricorn in the 3rd house -- hahahaha welcome to crises and gifts around dreams, illusions, secrets, delusions, etc. and make it capricorn: old soul vibes, anxiety, not gonna settle until later in life. in the 3rd house: dreams and illusions with gemini vibes, unending curiosity, brain running at 300 all day all night, so many Thoughts. hm. does he have adhd (inattentive subtype)???he's super creative and iconoclastic but he may be doing a lot of talking and not a lot of... doing. it's also a weird mood to have the fanciful dreams planet in the harsh reality sign, there's conflict inherent there. (oh lord, neptune is square venus and saturn with a 0 orb??? t-square??? bro??? lee know did ur parents or teachers or society crush ur dreams??? do you now crush your own dreams urself in advance to avoid disappointment??? do u think you can either have love or success and not both???)

(i can fix him!! wait.)

lunar nodes at 29 (NN in Leo in the 10th, SN in Aquarius in the 4th) -- lol this plus his 29.59 venus, his soul is Ready to Move On from these lessons hahaha, luckily his career really reflects his soul growth shit--moving away from his comfort zone of being a semi-reclusive iconoclastic weirdo with depressive tendencies who stays at home and moving towards self expression, celebration of himself and creativity in his career/a public space. he is gonna have a lot of crises about this though, since the south node is still really important and you shouldn't abandon it, it's ur foundation. he's gonna have questions like what does "be yourself" even mean??? how public is too public? how private is too private? what if i Fail, Publicly??? what if i don't put myself out there enough???

(he probably does not put himself out there enough, because of the relationship between his nodes, saturn, venus and his 12th house sun--but he should!! fight for your opportunities king!!)

(if u do not already have a therapist, lee know, please... get a therapist... it will help u.... i swear....)

we're still not done with degrees for some reason

saturn at 0 degrees taurus in the 6th house: another #same, my saturn is also at 0 degrees!! ateez jongho is another one with a 0 degree saturn, it's a very strong aura no matter what. any planet at 0 is fresh and new and EXCITED TO BE THERE and depending on aspects etc it will almost always express the energy of the planet in that sign real... loud... and real... vibrantly... ... .. without much nuance... for better or worse. this doesn't have to be a straightforward manifestation of the sign, sometimes it's wonky, but either way it's just a lot of Pure Sign and Planet Energy.

saturn is a more outer planet, so normally the sign its in is more of a light flavor and the much more important thing is the aspects and the house its in. if saturn is at 0, scratch that whole sentence

saturn in taurus is really. really clear in lee know's personality, tbh even to someone who only knows him from his professional activities. like. startlingly. i see her. saturn is a force for maturity, lessons, responsibility, discipline, structure, practicality, actual real physical life not the idea of life, and in taurus it's going. home. bye. the taurus jumps out. he's not too fussed about how much attention he's getting, or how much center time, he never jumps in ego-first. in the sixth house of work daily life and virgo vibes he's just gonna do what he's gotta do and get it done. solid, mature, grounded, no celebrity disease in sight, really a nice counterpoint to the kinda manic romance he's got going on in the 12th that would unhinge him from reality in many ways if it weren't for saturn

sixth house also gives some health stuff, some virgo vibes, can be critical. he might have or have had some health probs, or he may have them in future if he isn't super careful

taurus in the sixth to me gives apartment rooftop garden, beloved pets (6th house is the small animals house :)), dependable cornerstone at work but leaves at 5pm sharp because he wants to GO HOME. he's not gonna do more than he has to do because that's #stupid and he's not #stupid. he's not lazy at all he uses exactly the amount of energy he needs to and no more, again, because he's not dumb. vibes. icon. comfort. ease. chilling out.

he probably can really cut you deep if he wants to (especially with his chart ruler being his super specific and critical virgo mars in the 10th), luckily he doesn't care enough most of the time

(being mean in a funny way does not count, because of his aforementioned sagittarius moon and various gemini/virgo influences, it's the way he expresses affection!)

party (?) in his first house

idk i think a lot of idols have stuff in their first house, more proportionally than most people, which makes sense for their whole...situation. anyway. his first house has:

scorpio mercury: fun!! anything in your first house is gonna color the rest of your chart, almost like another layer to your rising. for example ateez hongjoong and (g)idle soyeon are both capricorn risings with uranus and neptune in the first house, so they're not regular capricorn risings, they're capricorn-aquarius-pisces risings. with mercury in there lee know gets a fun gemini/virgo flavor to his life path/vibe. he's gonna be chattier, funnier, externally wittier than most scorpio risings, more similar to a gemini or virgo rising in that way. it really is his cross of Sexy Intense Head Bitch You Shouldn't Cross but also Head Silly Yapper. his mercury is widely conjunct his ascendant, so the gemini/virgo/communication focus comes across strongly.

he's smart and curious and can talk anyone into anything at any time. it's another thing in his chart that chills out the sort of. self-serious Drama of scorpio placements (she said, scorpio moonly). mercury is zany!! and can really think itself into all sorts of interesting places (anxiety vortex? deluluville? why not both???)

scorpio chiron: well ya can't have it all. he has some pain and wounds around his own identity and place in the world as well as his soul-need for independence and self-assertion. it's complicated for him to Be Himself and with scorpio he probably has some past life shit here (in addition to his many heavily karmic 29 degree placements, let's all say thank you god for giving him a sagittarius moon and mercury in the 1st house)

sagittarius pluto: power. magnetism. take the usual power of a scorpio rising and crank it up to 20. also he has a temper under the calm, methodical taurus saturn and also thinks he's right 100% of the time. and he has some deep feelings and can empathize with the suffering of others! most importantly his past life stuff has been rooted in the search for identity and place in the world and he finds unconscious security in independence and his ability to assert himself, probably extra complicated for his 29 degree libra venus who craves union with another! lol!

this is honestly only just scratching the surface (just like any chart interpretation) but i gotta stop!! unfortunately i've been bias wrecked by an astrological chart. embarrassing as hell!!

[rosalesbeausderholle]

congrats on finishing ur degreee!!!! ive had to take like 3 breaks form mine bc mental illness and im still in undergrad @ 23 and sometimes i feel like it's never going to fucking end but seeing you finsh your degree is AMAZING!! it's corny but i feel inspired lmao.

Thank you!! But honestly, don't worry, and do your best to enjoy the ride, I wish I could have more time at uni tbh!!

This is hard to fully internalize because our culture is obsessed with the idea of success and higher education = success, but the way we need to look at it is that, other than because of economic concerns, it really doesn't matter WHEN you finish university. It's one thing to be worried that you can't afford to take more time to finish, either bc you need a job now or bc you can't pay to stay longer, or bc of what scholarships are available to you, etc; and another to worry about feeling like a failure because you didn't finish "on time".

If me and my two closest friends had done uni "right" we all should have finished by now. Instead one friend dropped out of one degree to start another and then got stuck and took another whole year to finish her dissertation; and then the other one didn't even finish our last two years of high school (here school is compulsory until you're 16 and the next two years are basically uni preparation) and instead decided to take the long way round to university by doing vocational training, which took her another four years, but now she's gonna be arriving at her teaching degree, starting it at 23, with some teaching qualifications ALREADY under her belt.

Then I also have a cousin for whom high school was super hard, and he also arrived two years "late" to starting university. Well guess what? He got two degrees! Law AND Philosophy, which are both super hard! He's probs one of the most accomplished people in our family and he was a "failure" at high school (he wasn't, he was just bad at some subjects which he failed but very good at others, aka like... everyone in the world). My own father didn't even finish high school at first, just decided to go straight to work as a field laborer, but then he thought that knowing more about growing vegetables would help him, so at 26 he decided to finish high school by taking night classes while working to finance all his studies and THEN he went to university and graduated with honors and THEN he got not one but TWO master degrees (the second of which he finished when he was 40!!).

So really, don't ever feel bad for being "already" 23 and still being undergrad!!! I am too. I just finished (well have some exams left but after my dissertation those will be a breeze) my own bachelor's degree. University is hard, by definition, and it gets extra hard when you have problems with mental health. Focus on yourself, on doing this for your own fulfillment, but also having the best time of it!! Me, my break was very hard on my self esteem, still now it's hard thinking about it for too long because it was such a hard time in my life, but I know if I had forced myself to not drop out that year that a) I wouldn't have switched schools, so I'd have stayed in the same school where most of my bullies were while being depressed. When I switched schools I still had that reputation but I ended up in a class of really really nice people, and that helped A LOT not only with actually finishing high school but with getting into university on my chosen degree with a really really high grade (which I needed). Plus, I wouldn't have been in the same year as my uni friends, and I'm so glad I met them. When life closes one door at you it always always opens another.

You need to be proud of yourself, not only are you getting a degree, which is hard by itself, but you also are getting one despite having already taken several breaks due to mental health! Just ONE was traumatic for me and had me reassessing my whole life! The fact that you've done that three times but still have the strength to go out is honestly, inspiring. You deserve a standing ovation imo and I mean that.

You'll get your degree friend, I know it, just do your best to have the best time of it and to take care of your mental health as much as possible. It'll be a lot more satisfying and you'll feel a lot happier in the long run if you do it slowly but surely than if you hurt yourself by trying to do more than you can. I believe in you! Good luck!!!

[janedoe-ing]

had a weird-@ss dream

i think this might be contributed by my previous story where i talked about having crushes and someone to love and shit. ok so here's how the dream went, so i was with auni, dayana and apat i think?? and we were at the mrt station or something (in the dream it looks like it), then we stopped for awhile to see where we wanted to go next, yet in a sudden, i felt somebody, like A GUY hugging me. i was so shocked and it turns out to be my abang angkat (he was my babysitter's son back then in jb) hugging me tightly like ??? ＼（〇_ｏ）／

the way everybody there just somehow stunned like why are these people be hugging each other IN PUBLIC lmao and he was with his friends too?? like???? i was like, "eh abang ipan kat sini?" (ye nama dia irfan 💀) and he was like, "oh haah, abang otw pergi uni ni".

p/s: he is A LOT older than me, i think when he was in f4, i was 6-7 years old?? and he studied in U*TM

so i was so confused why he was taking the mrt and stuff because as far as i knew that he studied in U*TM for both his degree and masters (irl true fact) yet he said that he is going to taylors... which is basically where we're coincidentally going too... i think we were trying to see auni's room if i remember it correctly...

ok skip skip suddenly a new scenario, i was set up to get married (AT 19) with like a guy who i never knew who he was, and was basically introduced only by one word of his name. it sounds super malay i swear, and i was pissed as hell because everyone kept intruding into my life matters like it was nothing.. like who are you to set me up without my permission?

suddenly i got to know his face and stuff i think a few weeks before our marriage date?? like we have to meet 2-3 times and his face is super familiar. like i've seen him somewhere, and surprisingly he is a biracial kid, i think mixed with arab or idk wherever that is but yknow that region. told him he looked familiar, and it turns out he is the model in h&m that i used to see on the ads??

ok fast forward, a day or two before the date, suddenly i got to know that my dad doesn't know about anything of this, which ofc made me pissed off because i thought they (my mom) have discussed this together but i should have known better. it was impossible to not let him know bcs my dad is basically my wali?????? istg and i remember that we had to postpone the date a day late?? and i remember my family and friends are coming to the place for like a bachelorette party or something ITS SO WEIRD I SWEAR

till then, the rest is unclear since ive woken up a few times and tried to fall asleep again but it didnt work HAHHAAH but i do remember people spamming my ig dms congratulating me and shit but more of a 'eh-awal-gila-kau-kahwin' type of situation 💀