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adventuresloane · 6 years ago

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"i know it hurts, i'm sorry" or "look at me- you're safe." with taako and lup??? theyre v e r y good siblings and thats a relationship that doesnt get explored as often in fandom as it should

((F*ck it I know it's late but I wanna post this now.))

"I know it hurts," Lup says almost at the same moment he lets out another pained hiss. "I'm sorry." Both of his cheeks are scraped, and the disinfectant turns the constant dull burn into a sharper sting. This wouldn't be the first time his face has gotten scraped up like this. It isn't even the first time he's gotten his face scraped up after being dragged around by the hair by someone who'd caught him red-handed in a con. He knows it's got to feel worse before it feels better. That doesn't stop the tears from rolling down his face, mixing with the gritty dirt and the blood and the stinging stuff.

She's saying something else now. "Sorry," she whispers with every other dab of the cloth. "Sorry."

"I know you're hungry," Taako murmurs as she feels the familiar scrape inside her belly. The hurt is low and deep, like shame. Lately, she's been turning tail on more fights than she would have liked--or, rather, Taako's been dragging her out of every potential scrap, even when she's primed to charge in screaming. It's terrible. It's humiliating, to receive parting blows to her back as they run away, and she sulks at Taako for it every time. But she knows he's right even in those moments. She couldn't very well fight when sometimes just standing up made her vision go dark.

He's sitting with his back to the fire, hunched over and turned away from her. She knows what he's doing, though, because it's the same thing he's been trying to work on for weeks. It makes her feel useless just lying there, but all the same, each one of her exhausted limbs anchors her to the ground. He's brandishing a scavenged wand that he threw together from a broken yew branch and a tiger's-eye bead that had "fallen" (been knocked) from a jeweler's stand. If he can just get the gesture right, the precise flick of his fingers, he could use transmutation magic to turn the bark in front of him to a meal for them both. She knew he could do it. She hoped.

In the past, he's succeeded some. The food he crafts from magic fills her. That's all it has to do at this point. But that doesn't stop him from doing what he can to make it taste less like cotton in her mouth. Wild onions and berries that they'd found in sparse patches, not nearly enough to make a meal but suitable for flavoring. Grasses and herbs from the roadside. A single acorn. He tries it all. They both do whenever they're able, stirring ingredients in shoulder-to-shoulder. They dip small fingers into pots together, making faces at each other in unison when the experiment ends up tasting like shit, relishing quietly when it doesn't.

"I know when you're cold, Taako," she says with not a little exasperation. For probably the eighteenth time that night, she's just asked him whether he needs to share the blanket with her, and he's promptly denied it.

"What part of 'Taako's good out here' didn't you get?" he grumbles. She doesn't have to be so insistent. He hasn't even been shivering--he learned long ago how to stop himself from doing it. It pisses him off, sometimes, how she just assumes shit about how he's feeling all the time. It pisses him off more that she's usually right.

"Yeah, sure." She pulls the thin wool blanket over to where he lies on the floor of the abandoned house that they've found for the night. Then she lies down and pulls it over the both of them before wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing up against him. The wool cloth is barely enough to fully wrap around one of them. The cold starts to lose its teeth, though, pulling away from his chilled skin.

Only the warmth isn't coming from the blanket. It's too immediate. It soaks into him and settles somewhere deep inside, like it's making a home, like it's always belonged there. It's centered on his belly, where her hands rest. He looks under the blanket, and it's only because of the darkness underneath that he can see her fingers, just faintly, glowing. "Lup?"

"Something new I'm working on," she says quietly against his back, and even turned away from her, he can hear the smile in her voice.

"Dope," he whispers back. On the other hand, it isn't always bad, her assumptions.

"Okay, I know you're tired, but listen, I finally figured it out." The slap of books on the table echoes through the floor of the library, earning him several shushes that he ignores.

"You'd better have," she groans, forehead still pressed to wood grain. "If I spend another hour staring at this equation, I'm going to meld with this chair." It feels ungrateful even saying that. The IPRE Academy's dorm is both the most permanent and the most comfortable of homes they've had in years, and even if they've taken to doctoring up the bland cafeteria food with magic, they wouldn't trade their meal plan. The least she can do is put more effort into keeping the scholarship they've earned.

"Don't worry, I'll walk you through it, since as we're all aware by now I'm a goddamn genius. Hey, by the way, you look like death."

"Thanks for that," she mutters.

"You should skip class tomorrow. I'll tell the professor you were puking or something."

She sighs and finally lifts her head. "No, I should go, I'll just..." She trails off when she sees the cardboard Fantasy Starbucks cup that had been silently placed beside her. It smells of caramel and just the right amount of whip. She doesn't have to take the lid off to know that he got her order right.

"Koko...thanks."

"What?" he says, though she knows he heard her. "Here, let me show you how to solve this."

I know you want it, is what Lup says with the look she gives him. Her brows are arched and there's a smirk on her face and that's all the prompting he needs. He pulls the furry, five-colored, gloriously hideous jacket off the store rack and adds it to the heap he carries in both his arms. It's not like they'll have much time to shop for the two months that they'll be in space. Might as well get it in now.

Their coworkers at the IPRE will poke fun at both of them later for blowing their money on ugly crap. Let them. The only thing that matters is that the pair of them get it. Lup never asks why he needs a third pair of holographic pants. The whole point is that he doesn't need them at all, the same way she doesn't need a sequin dress she'll likely never wear--it's novelty, still, buying what they don't absolutely need. They'll surround themselves with absolute unnecessaries, to assure themselves that they're really and truly here, that they've made it to this place.

Lup also doesn't ask why he mends the same holes in shirts four times in a row, when he has so many others and it would be far less of an effort to just throw the old ones out. She doesn't ask why he saves everything, just like he doesn't have to ask why she dives for change she sees on the sidewalk. Nothing needs to be said.

I know you're out there, he thinks as he and Barry search yet another dripping cave. She's not here. He knows that they have to check anyway, leave no stone unturned and all that, but his gut tells him that it's yet another waste of time, that they'll hit the stone wall before long and find nothing. He would know if she were near, the same way he knows that she's not gone forever, yet. He thinks he would know right away if she were. He would cease to exist in his current form as soon as she left this world.

I know you're out there, she does not so much think as feel, because complete and coherent thought has not yet returned to her in this black place. She's a planet at the time of its birth, still formless and shifting unshaped in a lightless and soundless void. She doesn't know much yet--so little she knows, so little has come back to her--but she knows that she isn't who she was. She can't be, out of context. She can't be who she's supposed to be when she's not part of a system, when she's alone. The rest of her is somewhere among the stars that she can no longer see.

These people just don't get him. This old dwarf and beefy human he's traveling with, they ask him why he's so hellbent on stealing and raiding all the corpses for goods, why he needs to sleep near the fireplace even though the Bureau's rooms are well heated. He doesn't like questions, especially when they're about himself. He can't answer them. Why should he have to answer them? He doesn't have to explain himself. He's Taako, From TV. He's got needs.

He shouldn't get mad at them. It's not like he knows them either, or cares to. It's wrong, maybe, to expect that they should anticipate his needs, or that anyone should. But he feels like someone should. Just once, he thinks, he shouldn't have to ask before someone knows what he needs.

I know you, comes a voice from some dark place. Taako, I know who you are.

#taako #lup #taz balance #taz #the adventure zone #taz fanfic #the zone cast #fan fiction #taz fan fiction #ask meme #lup taaco #food cw #anonymous

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benexolence · 7 years ago

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Tense (M) pt.1

CEO!Park Jimin x Reader

Word count: 5.4k

Rating = M, F (it was hard not to put fluff in, i’m too soft for chimmy)

SUMMARY: You’ve been subtly teasing your stressed-out boyfriend over the past couple of weeks, and you push him a bit too far at a company dinner, making him want to show you what it’s like to be frustrated.

Warnings: dom!jimin, daddy kink, dirty talk, exhibitionism, degradation, slight-ish possessiveness (bruh IDK), fingering

A/N: There are two parts to this fic! This was originally gonna be a oneshot but it would’ve been MONSTER to post LMFAO but I’ll post pt.2 within the next 2 weeks! Stay tuned :-) ****PART 2 IS OFFICIALLY POSTED! LINK TO PART 2 IS IN MY MASTERLIST!

Jimin had been very tense for the past couple of weeks. Being the CEO of BigHit, there was already a lot riding on him. Recently, his company bought out another company, BT21 and although this transaction would be beneficial for the future of his company, it didn’t necessarily mean that his transition would be smooth. If anything, it was putting a lot of weight on his shoulders, trying to figure out which workers to lay off or what sectors to change entirely, through the means of endless meetings, soon became excruciating. There were so many things to be done, and there wasn’t enough time in the day to complete everything. The tight pressure started to build in his shoulders and his mind as the lack of sleep from early mornings and late nights as the weeks went on. Jimin swore that he began to feel his brain melting.

It didn’t help that he start to see his love less and less. The quality free-time he’d usually spend with you decreased dramatically, turning the salacious sleepovers nearly every weekend into occasional Facetime pillow-talks that would end quickly since he’d almost immediately shut his exhausted eyes once his head hit the soft pillow. He just missed you, so much. Not being able to see you was like trying to substitute ranch for chocolate in a cake and it just didn’t work with him.

At night. Jimin is a needy boy, so destitute that the dreamland that he briefly arrived in every night was scent and taste of the juices that would fall between your thighs as you scream for him to give you more. His mind was clouded with clips of your writhing body, all nice and sweet, just for him. Jimin swore that he’d wake up to your whimpers echoing throughout his bedroom, only to find that you’re not there but his hard-on was painfully present. You couldn’t leave his mind. His lust was overflowing, and he even tried jerking off with his non-dominant hand, nothing worked.

For you, on the other hand, things were going pretty decently. You didn’t have much to complain about; you just got a raise at work, all your old friends were back in town, things were going pretty well for you. So, it was a bit amusing for you to hear all of this happening. You missed him greatly, and you longed to see him, but you were thankfully distracted by the better things happening in your life. You were worried about your boyfriend, but it’s uncommon to hear him whine for you and you felt a bit a pride when he’d tell you about how much he and his dick missed you. So to add to your amusement, you’d send some inappropriate pictures along with detailed texts of how much you desired him. When you went out with your friends, you would take a picture of yourself in a scandalous dress to rile him up a bit for the night, only to take that dress off after the image was sent, then change into something that you were a bit more comfortable in, (without him knowing of course). When Jimin was provoked in such a way, it always ended in ground-breaking sex. You still loved the fact that Jimin was a compassionate lover, it’s just that you didn’t see that dominant side of him very often and sometimes, you needed him to be a little bit rough.

Tonight was the first night that you would see Jimin after such a long time. There was a company dinner to celebrate the end of this chaos, and it was a perfect time to see you. Jimin liked to think of your presence as a gift to himself, for working himself to the bone. Both of you and him were giggling like children all day because it’s been so long and the two of you would finally fill the gnawing hole that’s been heavy on the two hearts. You wanted this night to be perfect, so you spent hours just picking and choosing the color scheme for your outfit deciding to go with a simple and sophisticated approach. Although you wanted Jimin to be the happiest tonight, you felt a throbbing need for something rough as the little devil on your shoulders convinced you to egg him on a bit. You decided to keep the egging to a slight minimum, and you went for the little black dress with a simple set of jewelry and light makeup that gave you a natural look. The dress did wonders to accentuate your curves, and you had an inkling that Jimin might go mad when he sees your outfit. It was perfect for setting off his mood, in the direction you prefer.

Jimin felt that it was crucial that he’d pick you up tonight. It was vital for him to have at least five minutes of alone time with you in the car before you two spent the next few hours with a garden of people he didn’t really care for; he’d probably only be focusing on you anyway. He was also hoping to convince you to let him sleep over for the night, already packing his things for the night because the answer will always be some form of “yes.” Jimin felt that spending these hours with you would melt away all the weight that’s been straining his body. He didn’t care if he was between your thighs or laying by your side, he just wanted to spend some time with you.

Jimin threw his overnight-bag in the backseat of his car and texted you a quick “on my way sweetheart” before rushing himself over to your apartment, almost running a few red-lights because he couldn’t wait any longer. He couldn’t stop smiling; he was excited to see his girl after so many weeks.

It was the same way with you after you got his text, you practically had a face tattoo of a smile. You rushed to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure that you looked perfect. As you fixed yourself up in the few minutes you had left, memories of the times where Jimin left you breathless made you excited. Your cheeks became flushed with such crude thoughts led you to think of possible ideas to ensure your demise tonight.

You were pulled back to reality as you heard a knocking at your door. The excitement came back in seconds as you ran to the door and swung it open, to find Jimin looking at you with nothing but pure love. You were in awe by his choices for his appearance tonight. Jimin wore an all-black suit, without a tie, giving a bit of a casual feel. He wore a gold necklace, and he parted his hair so a bit of the center of his forehead being shown.

Both of you took a few seconds to accept the fact that both of you are together again before he quickly grabbed your arm so you’d fall into his arms. Jimin hugged you tightly, almost like he was afraid that if he let go, you would never come back. He buried his face into your neck, and you could feel him smiling.

“I’ve missed you so much” Jimin whispered softly into your neck, leading you to giggle as his breath tickled your skin.

“But I talked to you yesterday” You chuckled softly, thinking about the Facetime call that only lasted three minutes before Jimin started snoring.

“I fell asleep! How in the world does that count?” Jimin started to swing around, with you in his arms, “Did you not miss me? Not only a little bit?”

“Maybe, maybe not. It doesn’t matter because you’re always asleep when I try to talk to you anyway.” You say with a sassy tone before escaping his grasp to turn around and walk further into your apartment, looking to grab your purse.

“Y/N, baby please” Jimin whined as he followed behind you. You could already tell that there was a pout on his face by the tone of his voice. You found your purse, and you started to look through the bag, making sure that you had everything you needed. Before you realize it, Jimin was standing right in front of you, slightly stomping his feet. “Baby, I’m sorry for falling asleep all the time, but that doesn’t mean you get to ignore me.”

Looking at his upset face, you realize that you definitely can’t be bratty right now. He’s too damn cute, and you couldn’t resist it, not after such a long time. You smile at him, “You’re lucky that I have the biggest soft spot for you. I’ll forgive you this time.” But your last few words are meaningless because you’ll always forgive him for anything, leading you to let out a chuckle.

Your laugh was cut short when Jimin suddenly cups the apples of your cheeks, looking at you with appreciation. “Seriously though, I am sorry. You don’t understand how hard it’s been for me, not being able to talk to you. I’ve missed you more than anything.”

Jimin never failed to make you feel loved. There was never a time where you felt unappreciated and unwanted by him because he always did everything in his power to make sure that those thoughts would never cross your mind. Although there has been a lack of presence in the past few weeks, there were no worries that arrived in your mind because he still tried to talk to you, even if his sleepiness won most of the time.

“It’s okay, Jimin. I know that you’ve been busy, so it’s alright. I’ve missed you too.” You spoke softly.

“I love you, sweetheart,” Jimin whispered before pulling you forward to kiss your forehead. He let go of your cheeks, only to slide his hands into yours. He pulled you towards the door, “Now, l wanna get there early so I can sit in the car and shit on the idiots that we’re gonna be near tonight.”

You laughed as the both of you left your apartment and set route to the restaurant.

The car ride was filled with nothing but laughter and joy as you both exchange memories that occurred over the past few weeks. Both you and Jimin felt absolute elation; nothing was better than being in the company of someone you love. Soon, both of you were parked outside of the restaurant, shit-talking about the coworkers that made his life an absolute nightmare over the past couple of weeks. Irritation started to seep into Jimin’s bones as the anger over their actions came to mind. You notice Jimin’s change of tone, and you felt the need to calm the fire that was growing in his mind. You moved your hand to give a calming rub on his bicep, “You don’t have to worry about it now. The past is the past, and now you can focus on the success that’s gonna be rolling your way.”

Jimin looked to your smiling face, but his eyes slowly followed the length of your dress, his pupils dilating in mixed emotions over how noticeable your legs were in the dress. Suddenly, his mind went through to all the frustration he felt with you during your absence; seeing you in such revealing attire, hearing about how much you need him, all the subtle teasing that you’ve been pulling over the past few weeks that would always leave him with an erection. All emotions came racing back to his mind and his cock, making him feel nothing but tense again. The current state of your naked legs started to tease him a bit, Why is she wearing that dress right now? To fucking spite me? God, in the very moment, he just wanted to fucking explode.

His ring-covered hand went straight for your thigh, squeezing the soft skin in a vice-grip. Your eyes went straight to his hand as you gasped at the cold feeling of his rings. You look up to Jimin’s face, only to find the irises of his eyes slowly disappearing to black, mixed with lust and vexation.

His voice comes out low when he initially speaks, “Y/N, that dress--” Jimin takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves from thinking illogically. It’s just a dress. There’s nothing to it. She isn’t trying to pull anything with me. “It looks stunning on you” Jimin plants a smile on his face as he squeezes his grip on your thigh a bit harder, leaving an imprint of his rings. Momentarily, he decided that your teasing would be a topic of discussion for later that evening, it would be such bad timing to discuss something like that right now.

Although you were taken back by the quick change in emotions that you just witnessed, it still didn’t stop your stomach from doing flips from his compliment, knowing that it’s genuine. But what lingered in your mind was the reason for the sudden emotional changes, reasons that you already knew. You could see the tension in his jaw as a vein comes to the surface of his neck, which just sent electricity straight downward. You spoke, “Thank you, Jimin.” It seems as if your plan is working, you had a reassuring thought about how the subtle hints work the best. All you wanted was for him to take you in the car at that moment, you didn’t necessarily want to wait any longer.

There were a few moments of silence before Jimin’s phone buzzed. He pulled his phone out to see one of his favorite colleagues texting him.

[6:03 pm] Kim Taehyung: I know you don’t want to be here, but that doesn’t mean you and Y/N can avoid the dinner by sitting in the car until it’s over.

Confused by Taehyung’s knowledge of his location, Jimin looked up from his phone and searched from outside the window, only to find that his colleague leaning against the car parked right next to him. Jimin got out of the car to greet him, “Thank god that you and Y/N at least here with me to get through this.”

Taehyung chuckled and gave Jimin a quick side hug, “I honestly don’t know how you and I got through this past quarter. I can’t wait to sit with you and see what you do as a consequence for everyone.”

Taehyung was the CFO of the company, but also a life-saver for Jimin for the past few years. Jimin and Taehyung had been very close friends since college, and it’s been an absolute relief for Jimin to have him in the company. Taehyung took more of an emphasis on finance rather than sales, unlike Jimin; which was helpful since there was no competition in success or jealousy in career advances between them. Either way, Taehyung, and Jimin climbing up the career ladder together, eventually landing executive positions in the same corporation.

You got out of the car as well and walk over to the two boys with a smile on your face. You were happy to see Taehyung. “Taehyung! How have you been? It’s been so long!” You gave him a quick hug, and as you let go, you notice Taehyung’s lingering gaze on your legs as he takes hold on both of your hands.

“I’ve been good, Y/N! I don’t think I need to ask you how you’ve been doing since you look lovely tonight.” Taehyung smiles with a toothy grin before letting go of your hands and looking at Jimin, “You gotta be careful Jimin. You might have to keep an eye on Y/N because you don’t wanna lose a girl like her so easily.” Taehyung was always a flirty guy, but he never meant any harm, of course, he just liked to tease Jimin a bit.

Usually, Jimin would joke around about how Taehyung would never end up with anyone but his assistant, Jungkook, but right now, it was not the time for Taehyung to even glance at his girlfriend’s figure for any more seconds. Jimin needed to keep himself control, he needed to stay calm. Jimin joked with a little strain in his voice as you and him starting walking towards the restaurant, “I don’t need to keep an eye on her when you have googly eyes for your assistant. Which by the way, I know you’ve been fucking, I saw the way he looks at your ass.”

“Jungkook looks at everyone’s butt! I saw him looking at your butt the other day! Either way, he’s a man-child, and I’m nurturing him for the real world.” Taehyung raised his voice while running behind the both of you, trying to deny the truth that he’s been trying to hide from everyone.

“Yeah yeah yeah, whatever you say Tae,” You turn towards Taehyung and continued. “We’ll always love you. You don’t have to hide your love for him forever.” You chuckled as you watched Taehyung start yelling nonsense as to how he’s definitely not with Jungkook and how he definitely hasn’t seen him every night for the past three weeks.

Jimin felt a bit of relief when he heard Taehyung’s babbling and your various sayings of “it’s okay, don’t worry.” I’ll be okay. Things will be fine. He reassured himself before all the three of you entered the restaurant and started to greet coworkers.

Dinner was not fine, and things were not okay. For some fucking reason, all male eyes of Jimin’s coworkers were staring at your chest throughout the evening. Jimin swore that he saw his coworker wipe the drool off his chin from staring too long. Not only that, some damn waiter named Hoseok even started fucking flirting with you, right in front of Jimin. It seemed like every male-body who was in your presence eye-fucked you, even with Jimin’s eyes sending fire to anyone who looked lustfully towards your body. Jimin wanted to spank your ass and fuck you on the goddamn dinner table every passing moment, to show everything that you belong to him and only him.

For you, on the other hand, your plan was going smoothly. You noticed the slow transition of Jimin’s mind from neutral to sour. You saw him sending fiery stares straight ahead, losing himself in the flames of his imagination, and you couldn’t help but cheer happily in your mind. But obviously, you couldn’t display your joy to the world. You saw that he barely took a bite of his entree and you decided to act the part as the caring girlfriend for the time being. “Hey honey, is everything okay? You haven’t touched your food.”

Jimin took a deep breath before turning to you, wanting to answer your question with kindness, “Um, yeah baby. It’s alright. I’m just not that hungry right now.” He pulled a quick smile for you before moving his fiery eyes to his plate, slowing moving to eat his food on his plate.

You knew he needed a push, a slight nudge towards the fall that you so desperately needed to feel all over your body. So you decided to start a conversation with Taehyung. It seemed that the boy had a bit too much to drink and you knew that Taehyung is a lot more flirty when he’s tipsy. You spoke with a bit of prep in your voice to the buzzed man across from you, “How are you feeling tonight, Tae? It looks like you’re having a good time.”

Taehyung turned to you with a grin on his face and started to laugh, “Y/N, I always have a good time with you around.” He leaned in and continued to spoke, “Did I tell you that you look lovely tonight?”

You giggle before answering his question, “Yes you did, Tae. You don’t remember?” You reciprocated his actions and moved towards him, so it looks like you’re only focused on him.

“Well, scratch that, because you look fucking ravishing right now.” Taehyung’s baritone voice seemingly got lower than you expected.

“Taehyung!” You started to giggle, even more, exaggerating your actions, “You don’t mean that”

Taehyung leaned in even closer, “Oh darling,” His eyes looking at your body, leaving his eyes to stalk your chest. “I mean every word I’ll ever say to you.” His voice was husky, and it just leaks with danger. This is precisely what you needed. This is the push that Jimin needed.

And you were right because Jimin was fucking boiling with sheer anger. Taehyung called you “ravishing,” he fucking leaned into you, like you didn’t belong to him. And you were just sitting there, taking it. Not even acknowledging the fact that your boyfriend was sitting right next to you, watching the entire thing. Maybe you were doing this on purpose. Perhaps you actually have been fucking with him for the past few weeks. Either way, the only thing that mattered to Jimin is to show that you fucking belong to him.

Once again, you jumped in your seat as the coolness of Jimin’s rings touch gripped your thigh. You felt him squeeze your skin before his thumb starts rubbing gentle circles. You turned to him, and his eyes were trained entirely ahead, engaging a conversation with one of his coworkers. You leaned back into your seat, heavily distracted by the distance between his hand and your clothed core. You took a deep breath to relax before continuing your conversation with Taehyung, but how can you focus when his hand is subtly teasing you under the table?

“Tae, I think you’ve had a bit too much to drink.” You spoke as your mind tried to force on the man ahead of you. But unfortunately for you, Jimin knew what you were doing so his hand decided to follow the direction of your body, sliding underneath your dress. He squeezed again, leading you to squirm slightly in your seat. You tried so hard to listen to Taehyung ramble on about how sober he is, but it felt like there was barely any oxygen in the room at the moment. You started to lean forward again, to look like you’re interested in what he has to say but as soon as you began to move, Jimin’s hand moved to your core, lightly rubbing you through your panties. You yelped in surprise, causing all eyes to move towards you.

“Baby, are you okay?” Jimin sounded so sincere, but he already knew your answer. He started rubbing you a bit harder, causing you to squirm even more in your seat. Your breaths started to shake as you realized how mortifying this situation was; everyone was staring while your boyfriend rubbed your clit in a public restaurant. But somehow, you felt exhilarated at such a display, leading to the coil to tighten in your stomach.

“Yeah, I’m f-fine.” You needed to keep your responses to a minimum. You couldn’t let anyone know the truth behind your dishonest words. You’re not fine. You’re fucking fantastic because Jimin has finally touched you, something you’ve been waiting for a long time.

“Are you sure? You sound a bit anxious.” Jimin’s fingers moved your panties to the side. His middle finger slipped inside your folds, teasing your hole.

You knew if you opened your mouth, you would start whimpering, so you nodded your head towards Jimin and threw a weary smile on your face. You looked around to find that the eyes of his coworkers were off of you now. Jimin leaned in closer to your ear and spoke, “Baby, you better fucking speak up right now, or I wouldn’t touch you for another month.”

All you wanted to do is whine and let Jimin do sinful acts to your body, but you knew that this side of Jimin wouldn’t be tame unless you listen to his words. “Yes, I’m okay Jimin.” You whispered softly.

You heard Jimin sigh, and it sounded like he was frustrated with your answer. He impulsively pushed his middle finger inside, pumping it at a slow pace. Jimin moved again to your ear, “That’s not my name tonight. Tell me, baby, what’s my name?”

His fingers were going agonizingly slow, but since your body has been so unsatisfied for the past few weeks, the pressure seemed to double. You could barely answer his question without focusing on the sharp sparks that coursing throughout your body. You don’t call Jimin anything else besides loving pet names and his actual name. What could he possibly be asking for?

Before you could think about it any further, Jimin added another finger inside you. A small mewl crawled from your mouth as you leaned towards Jimin, hiding your face in his shoulder. “I-I don’t know.” The build of your impending orgasm was growing faster, leaving your body to be shaking by his side. You were trying so hard, but it’s just so hard when everything is turning you on.

Jimin curled his two fingers to your g-spot, leading you to whine into his dress shirt. Jimin chuckled, happy to see you withering for him so quickly. His voice was stern when he started whispering again, “It seems like you’ve been missing Daddy’s fingers, huh?”

Daddy? He’s never called himself that before. Jimin has never brought that kink up but how does it matter now when he sounds so fucking hot talking to you like that? His fingers start moving faster, and your legs start shaking. He’s curling his fingers with each thrust, and the burning-pleasure is leaving your mind blank. You gotta warn him of how your end is almost near, “D-Daddy, I’m close.”

“Awh baby, you’re close? You like it when Daddy finger-fucks you under the dinner table, with everyone around us?” His words are only bringing you closer to your end, and you were struggling to keep your composure.

“Y-Yes, Daddy” Your voice was shaking, and you look up to Jimin, only to see his eyes filled with nothing but black lust.

“Of course you do. How can you not? A slut like you love everything that’s done to them. Do you even know how dirty you are?” Such a name should irritate you but god, it was sending arousal to your core, and you find yourself whining for him.

My eyes immediately shut in pure paradise, and you started to squirm again when Jimin’s thumb landed back on your naked clit. Jimin’s lips glaze your ear, “Cum for me, right now.”

His tone of voice was deep and stern, which led you to lose control. Your hands quickly covered your face in order to conceal the moans that escaped your mouth as your orgasm sweeps through your body. Jimin continues to rub your swollen nub as you ride it out. You were trying to catch your breath as your face turned away from your hands to Jimin, only to find him smirking.

Suddenly, Jimin grabbed your hands and stood up from his seat, bring you up with him. “I apologize everyone, but it seems that Y/N isn’t feeling too well right now, so I think it’s time for us to take our leave. Y/N wants to stay, but I wouldn’t feel good if we did stay. I’ll see you all at work on Monday.” Jimin waved goodbye to his coworkers while you kept your head down, playing up the “sick” act correctly. You waved to everyone as well as both of you started walking towards the car. As soon as both of you were outside of the restaurant, Jimin wrapped his arm around your waist, squeezed your ass, and let his hand rest at your hip. As you both walked to the car, you looked up to him. You could see that he was relieved to be done with that dinner and happy to go home with you. Both of you got to the car, and before Jimin could unlock the car, he interrupted by the sight of Taehyung running towards you.

“Y/N!” Taehyung stopped right in front of you and grabbed your hand, whipping you out of Jimin’s hands and in his direction. “Why didn’t you tell me that you weren’t feeling well?” Taehyung murmured as he looked at your small hand in his large one.

“Oh, I didn’t want to worry you, or anyone.” You took your hand out of his and waved it in front of him for reassurance. “Don’t worry about it! I just need some sleep.” You smiled at him, and he leaned in closer to you, like at the dining table.

Taehyung grabbed your hand again, rubbing circles on the back of it before looking up to you. “Call me when you get home, alright? I wanna know that you’re okay.”

You were happy to have a friend like him in your friend, and your smile got brighter at that thought. “Of course! I’ll see you soon.”

The flirty side of him came back as he kissed the back of your hand before letting it go. “I’ll see you soon darling.” Taehyung had a goofy grin again and looked to Jimin, “I’ll see you on Monday man, don’t let your girl get sick or I’ll help her out instead.” He winked at you, and he started to laugh as he began to walk away.

Although you thought this was funny, Jimin did not at all. You only realize this when you saw the several veins in his neck pushing up to his skin. “I’ll see ya later.” He spoke through gritted teeth. You saw his fists tighten so hard that you felt he might actually break his bones. In the years that you’ve been dating Jimin, you’ve never seen him so angry. He unlocked the car and walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for you. He realized that you were frozen in place, so he started to speak in the sweetest tone he can muster up with the anger running through his veins, “Y/N, get in the fucking car right now, or things will get worse.”

You practically bolted to the car seat, and you felt the car shake as Jimin slammed your door shut. He walked over to the driver’s side and sat in the car. He repeated his actions, and he harshly closes his door before putting his hands on the wheel. He exhaled deeply and turned to you, “Tonight, you’re gonna listen to every word I say. Do you understand, sweetheart?” You nodded your head to him, analyzing the strain in his voice. He was frustrated, and you honestly did not expect this level of dominance. “Good girl.” He responded before turning on the car.

You look down to your hands, thinking about what could happen tonight and all the things Jimin might do to you. “Are we going home?” You asked politely, wanting to alleviate his irritation.

Your question had the opposite effect, causing his veins to strain more. His jaw clenched, and he slowly turned to you at a menacing pace, “Baby, did I say that you could talk?” You were about to open your mouth, but Jimin continued, “I don’t wanna hear another word out of your mouth. Got it?” You nodded your head and returned to the position that you were in previously. Jimin’s hand lingered on your thigh and squeezed it to get your attention. “Tell me a safeword.”

A safeword? There were a few moments of silence before you thought of a sinister idea. You thought to yourself, He was already angry, why not triggering him more? You had a sense of where this night will lead to, and you were happy with the results. But a part of you wanted to tease him a bit more.

Jimin spoke once more, “Have you thought of it yet? Tell me.”

You muster up all the confidence you had, and you began, “Yes I did. The safeword is Taehyung.”

You thought that Jimin was angry before, but you were fucked now. You could feel the tension in the air.

His nails dig into your thighs, close to breaking the skin. You could see the stream coming out nostrils as he looked at you with nothing but depravity. You swore that he growled when he spoke, “Okay.”

You were screwed for tonight, but in every perfect way, right?

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shinyzacian · 6 years ago

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my thoughts on pokemon sword (and shield but like i got sword so thats where my game experience comes from) now that ive finished the game

there be spoilers below! this a really really long post too btw

first of all, omg. that was really fun actually?? i went into it expecting something awful and just a clear cash grab (but i bought it bc the pokemon company owns my soul and i’m obligated to buy a game every gen) but it was actually really well made.

there was a lot of really nice things and little details in this game that really made it a masterpiece in some regards. you can just SEE the love and care that was put into it. it breaks my heart that they obviously wanted to make something amazing but a lot of that potential got cut short by the producers/overseers.

the colors were brighter and richer than the other models on the 3ds

the backgrounds were more detailed and actually looked like real areas you could get to

the wild area. holy shit the wild area.

some of the new move animations were really cool to watch, like pyro ball

this is controversial but i really like the interesting evolution methods?? it’s new and fresh, and you get a feeling of accomplishment once you actually evolve something

the moveable camera in the wild area was awesome

pokemon in the overworld was AMAZING. and TERRIFYING when a galvantula runs at you at breakneck speed. but it was so cute to see them just out there living their life.

textures were another hit or miss thing, but i liked most of them. some of the pokemon looked glossy, or fuzzy, or partly transparent, or matte.

the little details that didnt really add anything but once you noticed them were kinda cool to find, like square shinies or marks or ribbons (i know ribbons are an old thing but the phrases that they add)

i liked that the crowds sing along sometimes

the camping feature was adorable. ive always wanted nintendogs: pokemon version and this allowed me to live out my dreams

cooking reminded me of making poffins so thats 10 points to gryffindor

DARK !!! TYPE!!! GYM LEADER!!!!!!!! i love piers and he is ABSOLUTELY MY TYPE

actually all the character designs were really good? i loved all the gym leaders. opal was pretty cool. i love raihan he’s hilarious. melony is pretty. i would marry piers.

bede is perfect. love that babby. a good asshole rival. i also like that they showed a more masculine person as a fairy (typically feminine-like) trainer. also also i headcanon that he/they is/are nonbinary bc i crave representation

i will protect hop with my life. they really made him go through a crisis and i felt so bad when i whooped his ass :( first time ive ever felt bad for winning a pokemon battle.

no unnecessary legendaries! all of them had actual importance to the plot and there werent 400 of them

some of the pokemon designs were good, and some were outright amazing. you look at me in the eye and tell me you dont love dreepy? that eternatus isnt badass as fuck? that applin isnt adorable as shit? that you wouldnt murder for snom? thats right motherfucker

music and ambient sounds are so good. sometimes the music cuts out in the wild area at night and all you hear are the background noises and your own footsteps ans THATS the good shit

toby fox made a song in it if that doesnt convince you the music is good idk what will

slumbering weald (the song and place) makes me feel emotions i didnt know i had. so pretty. 2nd fav pokemon song.

zacian and zamazenta were SO COOL and that final fight against eternatus made me fucking ascend i loved it

character customaziation was off the shits for this one

league cards are cool as fuck and i wish i had a real one of mine

there were some things that were just. a miss.

some of the animations were. lackluster to say the least. double kick (just bouncing in place) vs pyro ball (actually ppicking a pebble up and tossing it until it becomes a flaimg ball) was painfully obvious

textures were either really good or blurry and offset (ex: the tree everyone always talks about)

i wish there were more ways to play with pokemon when you camped. i wish there were more toys than there are and i wish i could pet my pokemon. that was one thing i really enjoyed about pokemon amie

this game is LAGGY AS SHIT if you are connected to the internet. it freezes my switch sometimes. literally cannot handle it in the wild area. and i thought sun and moon were bad.

why. in the FUCK would they get rid of the gts. literally why. y-comm sucks some major butthole and is slow as shit. surprise trade is just wonder trade with a different name and is slower

y comm never works for raid battles. ever.

why does card trading disrupt whatever you’re doing but surprise trades dont???

why were moves cut. what the fuck.

some of the towns felt so tiny. ballonlea was gorgeous but it was a pokemon center a gym and like 2 houses. they could have made that so much more amazing but it was cut short again!!

most pokemon designs were good but eiscue or whatever that penguin thing is is an atrocity and i dont like it :( which is weird bc i like most mons

they didnt really seem like pokemon designs?? having like a gen1 next to a gen8 was pretty jarring. this is just a matter of taste so dont yell at me

everything is excruciatingly linear. the wild area feels like the only area you can actually explore. everything else feels like a hallway and this was especially evident when in the mines. there was no sense of adventure or mystery like in early gens

the story was pretty cut and dry even for a pokemon game. chairman rose was lame and it felt like they never really explained the macro cosmos thing

i wish theyd let you figure out more things on your own. it felt like they didnt listen to “show, dont tell” advice

my team was cinderace (azzie), dragapult (baby), bolthund (jax), corviknight (berdly), eldegoss (flowey), and obstagoon (nightshade).

overall, it was pretty hit or miss, but when it hit, it hit HARD. do i recommend this game? whether youre a casual fan or hardcore or wanna get into pokemon, yeah. it had less handholding than before but enough to let newcomers know what to do. is it worth $60? maybe. that depends on how much enjoyment you get from it. main storyline is short but theres plenty of other things to keep your attention.

my final rating: 7 outta 10. it’s a good game.

#vee says stuff #pokemon spoilers #pokemon swsh #pokemon sword and shield spoilers #pokemon swsh spoilers #sorry i just had words to say but nobody to listen #i got a lot of feelings about swsh. its very hit or miss.#pokemon sword and shield #i tried to get as many tags as possible on this so ppl who dont wanna be spoiled wont be

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winchester-reload · 6 years ago

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I accidentally drunk-posted this to ao3 last night, so I might as well post it here too since it’s episode-related. There’s a second half I’m not done with yet, but this bit stands on its own as a coda, or whatever.

Pairing: Dean/Cas

WC: 1400

tags: first, kiss, angst, episode 14x12 pre-coda

also on ao3

Cas came into the bunker like a thunderstorm, expression cloudy and eyes hot enough to start brush fires. He dropped the big book that’d been tucked close to his chest onto the library table in front of Dean, and it coughed dust as the water-warped pages accordioned together, fluffed up again. Kicked the old, thread-bound cover back, revealing the yellow vellum page; Possessionem, atque tutelam &, Vatican Ed. 1723, it said.

Dean uncurled from his book, hands slipping to the edge of the mahogany as he pulled in tight. Cas wasn’t supposed to be back yet. Last text Dean got said maybe Tuesday would see him in Kansas, and that meant Dean wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this. He should have already been gone.

Wonderful.

He cleared his throat. “Who’s your friend?” he asked, trying to keep it light.

“Oh, that?” Cas puffed, carelessly spilling into the chair opposite Dean. The airiness of his response was drowned out by the vinegar he had pickling his words. “It’s a book, Dean.”

“Well, shit, Cas. You don’t say—?”

“Yes. It’s a book that Jack and I managed to track to— and retrieve from—a catacomb in New York. Now, ask me why we went to all that trouble.”

Dean hesitated. Then, “Why?” because he was nothing if not a glutton for punishment.

“Well, because we heard it had some particularly potent protection sigils, which, might— ” He pecked an elbow onto the tabletop, twisted his hand in an overly-animated open shrug “—hypothetically—be beneficial to someone harboring an unwanted invader. Why? What did you do this last week?”

It was baited. Dean didn’t need the all caps, period-after-each-word, version of it to see that. He chewed his cheeks, slid his copy of Vonnegut away. Dog-eared pages flat against the table now until someone else bothered to pick it up. “Okay,” he said scratching his neck. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess you talked to Sam.”

“What would give you that impression?”

“Cas, it’s a ma’lik box—”

“Yes—” Cas said, mocking, “I’m familiar with them.”

It triggered that little muscle twitch at the back of Dean’s jaw. “Okay, here we go—” and Cas shot back out of his chair.

“Jack and I were out trying to find literally anything that might help you, and all the while you were out building some stupid, secret box to go bury yourself in— And you weren’t even going to tell me—? So, yes, Dean. Let’s “go”,” he spat, throwing the quotes. “Why are you so impossible?”

“Alright, back off—” Dean bristled. He wanted to keep it civil—fuck, he needed to. The last thing he wanted was to have to ruminate on a fight with Cas for the next forever-billion-years, but the asshole was a button-pusher. Always had been. “I get it, okay? You’re pissed. You wanna be pissed, be pissed, but it ain’t gonna change anything. Billie said what she said.”

Cas rounded on him surprisingly quick, leveled a look so dark, it practically bred its own shadows. “No,” he said, flat, “you’re right, of course, it doesn’t change anything. But do you know what does, Dean? The fact that you’re lying!”

A fingernail of shame suddenly surprised Dean, twisted into his chest. “No—” he stumbled. This was getting away from him quick. Too quick. He scoffed, smiled, tried to brush it away. “Uh, no. You’re wrong—”

“Uh, yes. I’m right—” Cas contested. “See, because if Billie’s answer was to bury you with Michael at the bottom of the Pacific, there would have been no death note to hand you— because, in that scenario, Dean, you’d never die! And maybe Sam doesn’t know that, but I do!” He plucked his chest, tie swinging as he leaned in. It dredged up all those old, angelic chills Dean had filed in the archives of his memory; the weight Cas carried with him like churning ozone when he was all keyed up. “So, why don’t you tell me what the book really said?” he suggested with a low growl. “What you’re actually running from.”

Dean swallowed, tried to hold Cas’ eye, failed. They were close enough now that Dean was all but boxed in his chair, and butterflies played his pulse in response, kicked his heart up into his throat. “Okay, you’re—” he started. Then, “But, that’s totally—” and he stopped, watched Cas’ balled fists turn white at the knuckles. Fuck. “Did you tell Sam?”

“No, but I will tell him. I’ll tell him right now.”

“Don’t—”

“Then what did it say?”

“It said I die old,” Dean muttered, and it was like prying nails from his ribs just to get it out. “ It said I die happy. Natural causes. No Michael. No monsters.”

Cas blinked, caught off guard. The anger in his face diffused then fused again into something so much more knotted up. “I don’t understand—”

“There’s nothing to understand because it doesn’t matter! All the rest of ‘em said I die bad, Cas. All of ‘em! Michael burnin’ me out while he destroys the world—!”

“How does ignoring this one spot of hope fix that?”

“That ain’t hope! I don’t know what to do with that— I don’t even know where to begin to try to make something like that happen! The box is what fixes it! The box, I know how to do!”

Cas’ fingers spread, hands coming up like he wanted to strangle Dean, but couldn’t bring himself to get close enough. “Did it ever occur to you—?” he said slowly. Eyes rolling closed before peeling open again. “—that, maybe, your first step in accomplishing a happy ending, is to stop running? To stop this— suicidal ideation? To just... love, and let people love you?”

Dean shook his head, Cas’ words pooling at the hinge of his jaw and making it hurt. “It wouldn’t matter,” he said, looking at the bookshelves, the corners. Anywhere but Cas.

“Why—?”

“Because no one's gonna love me—” Dean spilled. “Who’s gonna love me like this? An archangel stuffed up in my attic and the rest of me so fucking screwed to hell, I can’t even sleep on a good night!”

Cas balled hands into his own chest, shoulders high and body tight like they were both about to go over some invisible cliff if he didn’t stop the vehicle soon. “I love you!” he pleaded. “Sam loves you! Your family— You are not unloved, Dean!” He had tears in his eyes, but it was easier to ignore them.

Dean shut his eyes, heat washing him. The image of Cas dying on an old couch at the back of the barn flared fresh in his brain— I love you, I love all of you— He tried to swallow it, but it was too sour. Tried to rub it away with the heel of his hand, but it only spread, made speckles. He shook his head, instead, pulled his already loose collar looser. “No, I… Not that kinda love,” he said quietly.

Cas suddenly deflated, arms falling to his sides, weight shifting between his feet. He sunk to the floor at Dean’s knees, looked up, face raw and open and done. “Sam loves you,” he said again quietly. “Jack loves you. Your mother—”

“Cas—”

“—loves you…” He suddenly touched Dean’s knee, stretched up onto his own, wedged between Dean’s legs, quiet and hot, cheeks wet with tears as he pulled all that electric energy in. “But, I—” He grabbed Dean’s face, cradled it between his hands as Dean’s fingers clawed into the fabric at Cas’ sleeve— holding him there, holding him back, he wasn’t sure which. “I love you,” Cas whispered. Something in Dean cracked, split open. He let their foreheads brush. Their noses.

Let Cas kiss him, soft and slow.

Cas kissed like he’d imagined it a thousand times, mapped it. Studied it over and over and over again, until every jump of his lips timed with the thrum of Dean’s heartbeat. The curl of his fingers at Dean’s jaw.

Then it broke, quick as it started, but Cas and all his hasty energy didn’t move back. Neither did Dean. “I don’t know another way to say it,” Cas admitted to the small space between them. His voice finally wavered, broke. His hands uncurled, flat palms drying the tears Dean didn’t know he’d lost. “You have to tell me because I don’t know.”

Dean suddenly remembered to breathe and it came in sharp and unsure. It came in with the smell of Cas and a hit of his blue eyes close enough to taste. Dean swallowed the salt building in the back of his throat and dug his voice out of Cas’ rubble. “That was it,” he whispered back. “You just said it.”

And it seemed utterly ridiculous how everything suddenly felt so simple.

#destiel #destiel fic #first kiss #season 14 #canon divergent #episode coda #idk what this is #i have destiel anxiety okay #I need something canon tonight #14x12 #14x11 #its been a minute since I posted some fic #so take this i guess

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pastelskrulls · 7 years ago

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the young avengers (no not those ones)

the war starts when steve is 13.

all of his classmates want to enlist, want the glory of winning and protecting their nation.

steve only wants to stay home. to protect his mother from the man she married

when steve is 15, his mother dies of tb. he no longer has a reason to stay in new york, and he crumbles under the pain of it

he turns 16 and he enlists, forging the papers with the help of a kind german doctor

he stands out in training, from the angles in his still growing body, the vague irish lilt in his voice

however, what sets him apart the most is his commitment, his guts

he recieves the super soldier serum and a year later, nosedives into the arctic

he wakes up in new york 70 years later in the custody of shield

across the country, jane foster fresh off the high of earning her learners permit, hits a man with her dad’s truck

well, not a man. a boy

he looks like he couldn’t be older than 17 and he keeps mumbling about trolls, a magical hammer, and a rainbow bridge

the doctors determine he must have brain damage and leave it at that

the boy apparently has no family in new mexico and whatever family he did have hated him (because seriously, jane thought, who names their kid thor)

her dad, hardworking and compassionate if not a bit over ambitious, offers to take him in until they can get him registered in the system

it turns out they don’t have to, because three days later, thor fights a giant evil robot in the middle of the town, picks up a hammer from norse legend, and is carted off by some government agency

bruce banner is 16 going on 17 and interning under thadeus ross at culver university.

ross is obsessed with replicating the serum that created captain america, and bruce is obsessed with getting a full ride (and an internship with a general at a nationally acclaimed university was certainly going to help) so he plays along

the exposure to gamma radiation morphs something in his dna

in class the next day, some meathead, robert he thinks, is pestering him, calling him names just like always. bruce is used to it by now, but then he mentions bruce’s mom and something in him snaps

he wakes up in an alleyway, clothes shredded to hell and no memory of what had happened.

the newspapers are all talking about the same thing. a monster, loose in virginia. witnesses claim they had seen their classmate, bruce banner turn into a hulking green beast. he had beaten a student, robert maverick and fled. police are offering a reward to anyone with knowledge of his whereabouts

bruce doesnt know how to fix this, so he heads home, packs a suitcase, and runs

he ends up at his uncle’s apartment, a small brownstone in new york

after a little convincing from his daughter, mr.walters agrees to hide bruce for a short time, just until they can figure out what happened

but they never get the chance

the next day, government agents dressed in gray and black uniforms break down the door and cart bruce away to some facility. he doesn’t know what will happen to him, and more than ever before, he is scared

tony graduated college when he was 15. he had a fully stocked lab, an invite to every party in town, and more money than he could ever spend. all thanks to his father.

no matter what he does, everyone; magazines, documentaries, newspapers, only seem to care about howard. he can’t seem to escape the man’s shadow, and he resents him for it.

so he rebels. he goes clubbing, he brings home girls, he bought expensive cars, but nothing seemed to work

until the day he was kidnapped.

the kidnappers saw how smart he was, and they wanted it.

they threw his father’s tech at him, told him to start developing a new missile. instead, he designed a suit. his fellow captive a professor, ho yinsen helped him, and together they built the scrapper. it was barely a prototype, but it was the best shot they had

professor ho had shoved him towards the suit, told him to run and headed toward the guards.

he was plucked out of the deaert by an unmarked government helicopter and was met by two agents

“are you interested in helping us? we could use that tech of yours.”

and for the first time, tony felt seen

clint pulled on his blindfold and gripped his bow, finding the worn in finger rests. he pulled an arrow from the quiver and slid it into place. he took a deep breath, aimed the shot, and released. the raucous applause surrounding him told him he had hit his mark, just like always.

the show continued and he trudged outside, opening his small (very small) trailer. he let himself flop onto the bed, face first. his aids buzzed and crackled with the impact and he rolled over, staring up at the ceiling. before he could get comfortable, there was a knock at his door.

he sighed dramatically, rolled out of bed and opened it.

standing in the rain was a steely eyed woman, dressed in a black bodysuit.

“clint barton? i saw your... performance tonight”

he raised an eyebrow “okaaaay?”

“how old are you?”

“19” the lie slipped off his tongue easily. if there was a chance of getting out of this place, he knew it wouldn’t come to a 15 year old.

“would you let me in? i’d like to tell you about something called shield”

natasha had been raised in the red room. the barbed fences, concrete walls, and armed guards were all she had ever known. every morning they trained her and the other girls. she worked, strived to be the best. she had stopped hoping for an escape and started hoping for a mission. but she knew hoping would get her nowhere, so instead she fought. she wanted to prove herself. to grab attention and not let it go.

when she turned 15, she was given her first mission. she was to kill her target, a man by the name of clint barton. he was an assasin. a good one.

he worked for shield, a top secret agency run by and for the us government.

it was easy enough to find him. he had perched on top of a building

she wasn’t sure what she had been expecting with the guy, but it wasn’t this. he looked... young. not much older than her. there was no way his file had the truth about him.

she had been made to fight. trained to kill. but with this boy. she couldn’t. they were too alike.

she stepped out of the shadows, and his bow instantly trained on her.

but he didn’t shoot. she could tell he felt it too. he lowered his weapon and stepped forward, cautious but open.

“do you need help?”

“yes”

she didn’t know why she said it, but the word tumbled out before she could think

he brought her inside, taking an elevator down to the underground offices and facilities. he pointed her down the hall, telling her to look for a man named nick fury

when she reached his office, she found him waiting for her. he held a gun in one hand and a file in the other. she cursed herself. cursed herself for trusting that boy

“i suppose you’re going to shoot me now?” she held herself in a tight stance, ready for a fight. it had been a setup. of course. she hadn’t wanted this. it seemed childish to even think, but it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair that she should die for the red room. die before she even got to live

“that’s your choice” he said. he looked her up and down and she could tell he saw the unnatural thinness, the not yet faded bruises

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“well ms romanoff, would you like to save the world?”

the first real threat came in the form of a god’s temper tantrum

thor’s younger brother (who looked like a middle schooler) who he insisted wasn’t really evil,

“you don’t understand he’s just going through a phase!” he yelled as he flew between buildings, wind whipping his hair.

“it isn’t a phase, brother!” loki had shouted back

when the battle was over, odin arrived, patting the boy on the back and turned to fury

“he just wants a little attention, i assure you this won’t happen again”

fury had nodded and, when odin had left, taken out a flask.

“so, what now?” everyone turned to clint.

“how about some food?” bruce suggested

“ah, a fantastic idea, we have fought well and a feast of victory is well deserved!”

natasha gave a sharp nod, looking through the rubble for a restaurant that was still standing, much less open.

in the end they found a shwarma place that was willing to open up and serve the heroes with a discount.

soon enough however, some agents came to collect them, and in the quinjet they were briefed on their next mission. high school.

(i can write more of this if anyone wants. ive got more ideas but i wanna just post this. my inbox is open, so if you want anything specific for this universe or something else, go there! i also fudged some of the backstories a bit, threw in what i knew from comics, and changed some dates, but i think i stuck pretty well to canon)

(you can probably tell i got more into this as i wrote fjxndn)

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missjackil · 6 years ago

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Winsecurities

I have no doubt in my mind that Sam and Dean love eachother in every human way possible. This is in no way to say one loves the other more than the other, but to just have a look around Sam and Dean’s relationship and see where and possibly why, they are insecure sometimes with each other.

Anyone reading this that knows me, knows I love both of these boys. I do favor Sam but I have no lowkey or highkey hate for Dean... he’s my buddy and a good dude and just as deserving of love and happiness as Sam is. With that said, it may appear sometimes in this post that Im dumping on one, or blaming him for something unnecessarily, but Im not, Im just making an honest observation.

Since this is about Sam and Dean’s insecurities, this is going to be a long post. So bag a lunch, get comfy, and click the cut if you feel like reading.

Sam and Dean are the most selfless people I know. They’re not selfish men at all, though both displayed some selfishness as kids, but thats normal. They’;ve both grown into men more than willing to put others before themselves, and sacrifice everything for the greater good. However they do have a selfshness when it comes to each other, and this fans the flames of their insecurities.

If you could ask either of them “Do you love your brother?” Both would say “Yes” before you finished the sentence, but if you were to ask either “Does your brother love you?” They might pause for a second before you get the “Yes”. In their hearts they know it as surely as the sun rises in the morning, but in their heads, sometimes they’re conflicted.

Sam has an irrational fear of Dean replacing him. He needs to be everything to Dean and doesnt like when others seem to take his place. We dont really even see this until s8 and the show has been chipping at it ever since. Dean has an irrational fear of losing Sam. Either by choice or by death. Dean defines himself as Sam’s caretaker, and doesnt want a life that Sam isnt in. I say these fears are irrational in the sense that neither should be fearing it anymore, not in the sense that the fear has never been warrented. We just recently learned that Dean still fears that Sam is going to decide to leave him someday.

I believe that Sam has always loved his place in Dean’s world. The precious little brother that Dean protects without argument. His best friend, confidant, the one who always has his back and fully trusts to have his own back. Sam loves that Dean would die for him, so Sam would die for Dean just the same. There have been times though, that Sam has felt smothered. He’s even said so, but he just wants space to grow and breathe, and be Sam, and not only Dean’s little brother, so Sam has seperated himself from Dean at times, and Dean takes it like Sam doesnt need or appreciate him.

I believe that Dean thinks about Sam first in everything. He depends on him to be his best friend and confidant, to have his back and save him when he needs saving, but Dean likes to surround himself with friends, family and allies, and Sam sometimes takes it as though he’s expendable in Dean’s world. Sam and Dean are each other’s spouces, in every sense of the definition that matters. They are two very different people but one single unit.

Dean’s insecurities with Sam came to our attention very early in the series. Since S1 Dean has shown how badly he wants Sam with him, and fears him leaving. In the Pilot episode Dean says he needs Sam to help him find Dad, and Sam tells him he can do it on his own, and Dean tells him he doesnt want to. We were never given any insite into why they didnt speak for 2 years so, Im just going to leave that out as it seems to be irrelevant to everything.

I believe they began when they were kids, and Sam started wanting to be like a normal kid. We know from Just My Imagination that at 9 yrs old Sam was begging to come hunting with Dad and Dean, we also learned that he would also like to run away and be normal. At that age, he chose to go with Dad and Dean, instead of running away, but as he aged, it became clear that he didnt want the hunting life.

I dont think this meant that Sam hated his Dad or Dean at all, he feared for them and himself, so he took himself away from the situation when he could. Having Thanksgiving at a friend’s house, hiding out in a cabin in Flag Staff, going to college, none of these are bad things that Sam did (well ok maybe running away and hiding in a cabin is debatable) but Dean took it personal as leaving him.

Dean loves taking care of Sam. He’s said he never had to be told to, he would have done it anyway. Sam has always loved it too but when Dean took off to hunt with Dad and left Sam alone he chose something over Sam, and thus fed his insecurities.

I think where Sam’s insecurities began, just using canon, was always when Dean put something ahead of Sam. He left Sam in a motel room so he could play video games, and Sam almost got killed. Dean left him at Plucky’s to troll for girls while Sam was being scared by the clowns, he left Sam to hunt with Dad, so who was protecting Sam then? Sam thought all these other things were more important than him, and if they were, then does Dean even still love him? (possible thoughts of an adolescent boy)

So we dont really see this insecurity in Sam much until S8 when Dean had Benny. When Sam met Benny, he was ready to kill him before he even knew he was a vampire. There was no way Sam knew he was a vampire when he went for his blade. He was ready to kill him for being some big dude that went on a hunt with Dean... a replacement. We didnt even know Sam had any qualms with Dean’s friendship with Cas until Dean wanted to go with Cas on his quest but felt he needed to stay behind and help Sam. Sam told him to go, but when Sam was ready to die for thinking Dean cant do this job with him, cant trust him, and would rather be anywhere than help Sam see this through, he gave Dean (and us) an ear full of his pain. And we were all (Dean included) Wait!! Hold up Sam!! Just think for a moment ok?

Dean assured Sam that nothing is more important than him, never has been, never will be... and Sam came down off the ledge. Sam got hit with the insecurities again in S9, after the trouble with Gadreel, and Sam worried about his place with Dean again. At the end of Sharp Teeth, Sam tells Dean things are broken and they cant be fixed just by saying theyre family, because all their crap comes down to them being family. So he gives Dean somewhat of an ultimatum. You want to work? Lets work... if you want to be brothers?..... well those are my terms” I didnt like that Sam didnt finish that statement, but Im pretty sure, judging from the next several episodes, that the statement would have been “If you want to be brothers.... then we cant work together” and then we see that they took the root of working instead of brothering, and now Sam sees himself as just a hunting parter to Dean. Is it true? Of course not. But we see the whole pciture and Sam just sees what he sees.

The show has been chipping at Sam’s insecurities ever since. Sam feared Dean chosing Amara over him in S11, choosing Mom over him in S12 as family, Cas over him as friend in 13, and Ketch over him as hunting buddy later in 13, and now his life over Sam in just this past episode. He even saw Dean kill himself to save a kid they dont know who was already dead in S13, so I understand why Sam might be confused about his place and importance in Deans life ya know?

Im sure about Sam’s place in Dean’s world. Sam IS his world. Ive seen Deans reactions every time Sam died or Dean thought he was dead... but wanna hear something sad but true? Sam never did. Sam never saw how freaked out Dean gets. How suicidal and broken he is when Sam is gone. Dean doesnt tell him. Sam knows Dean sold his soul for him, but Sam doesnt know Dean sat for like 2 or 3 days crying and talking to his corpse. Maybe if he knew, he wouldnt worry so much right?

I dont want the show to put Sam back in a place where he would voluntarily leave Dean again, but I hope they reassure Sam that he’s Dean’s who world. I think they’ve begun that, with Dean telling Sam why he wanted Sam to stay behind when he went with Ketch, and telling Sam later that he doesnt worry about what happens to himself, but he does care about what happens to his brother. And letting Sam know that he said “Yes” to Michael to save him. Maybe someday these boys will get their shit together and just enjoy getting saving the world and getting old together.

#my meta #winsecurities

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years ago

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FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!! happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!! i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!! move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them. i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead. it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content). and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required! ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough. and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!! lets make our own movies baby!!!!” and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way. why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy? and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so. Bird Box. here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry). this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver??? well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!! we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story.

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan. y’all remember The Happening? cause i remember The Happening. i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves. the PLANTS. and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck.

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken. we basically have the same premise going on here: unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films). now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense. when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside. makes sense! thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it. apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is. and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue. i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story. and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing?? unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do.

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box. if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage. i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something. the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at. and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit. like why cant we have the best of both of these?? something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place. there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have. weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward. bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes.

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie. if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you. the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park. go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!! my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

#curly q reviews #bird box #netflix #book movies #flix from the net #the happening #m night shyamalan #sandra bullock #sarah paulson #john malkovich #trevante rhodes #horror #thriller #movies #films #netflix original movies

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sydashworth · 4 years ago

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Playlist.

Loving You Gets Hard - Alexander 23

When lovin' you gets hard I will love you harder I knew it from the start That your love would be hard-earned, baby Trust your love is good for me And I will love you equally

This song really resonates with Sydney because it reminds her a lot of her marriage with Charles. While she doesn’t think loving him is hard now, she likes to believe that when times get hard that she would only love him harder.

2. always, i'll care - Jeremy Zucker

I've had a lifetime to be alone If you let me, when it gets heavy Know I'll never let you be all alone

Driving down the interstate I've never felt so far away Leaving hardly hurts at all I'm sorry that I never call

Often I get exhausted Trying regardless to be enough

This song hits three different things for her. The first bit she really loves because if Charles lets her then she will never let him feel all alone, no matter what. I think she feels that her husband is afraid of being alone...and afraid of being never first best......Even though he is best to her.

The second posted verse reminds her of when she left her parents’ home when she was younger and how it didn’t really hurt her, but she’s sorry that she doesn’t call them more,

Sometimes it’s just all a bit too overwhelming pretending to be perfect all the time. The life of an Ashworth...or well, the price of being human.

3. Can't Let You Go - Ali Gatie

Long nights of cryin' I felt like I was dyin' every night I'd rather keep on fightin' At least then I've got a reason to fight

I can't let you go Trust me, I've tried and I swear I'm still trying to know How to move on?

She honestly she can’t even listen to this song all the way through. It reminds her too much of Jon...and how she felt after his death...and how no matter how hard she tries she still thinks of him. Wonders if she shouldn’t have moved on...it fills her with doubt about how she handled his passing.

4. CHICKEN TENDIES - Clinton Kane

I hope he treats you better than I ever could 'Cause you deserve the world times two, and our simple Sunday afternoons I hope he's home for you, even though I had to lose you You define who fills your heart, even if I'm not the one you choose

I thought I caught a glimpse of me and you In our kitchen, where I cooked your favorite food

This song, however, fills her with hope. It popped on one night when she was feeling particularly low and she took it as a message from Jon...and that it’s almost as if he’s speaking to her. When she cooks something that was on of his favorites, she does feel like she catches glimpses of him in the reflections of the window, but she knows it’s just her mind playing games with her.

5. Pretty Places - Aly & AJ

We could pack up this house, get out of town Drive across country, one-tail light out You wouldn't need anything else now, would ya? Just all my books and your old Daytona

All the pretty places Pull us away from where the pain is These open skies Leaving the past behind I would, for all the pretty places

She really loves this song and listening to it...it reminds her that if things get hard or too much for either her or her husband then she has no problem leaving and finding a new pretty place....or travel to many pretty places. It also reminds her of the time she packed everything up and started her life.

6. Physical - Dua Lipa

All night, I'll riot with you I know you got my back and you know I got you So come on, come on, come on Let's get physical Lights out, follow the noise

This is just another one of her work out songs...everything about it gets her amped up....the beats....the lyrics....and not to mention it makes her think of Charles. She has his back.

7. I Am Enough - Cimorelli

'Cause I'll never win I'll never be the best There will always be something Hanging over my head But I let it go, my life goes on I still exist And I am enough

This song really made her realize that she might not be the best at everything sometimes or she might mess up, but she will still be enough, even if doubts creep into her head all she has to do is listen to this. Plus the piano version is really beautiful to her.

8. Body - Megan Thee Stallion

Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody (ah, ah, ah ah) Ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody Body crazy, curvy, wavy, big titties, lil' waist (yeah, yeah, yeah) Body crazy, curvy, wavy, big titties, lil' waist (mwah) Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody Ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody

Honestly, this song just gets her hype AF...she can definitely work out to this song.

9. Daisy - Ashnikko

You don't wanna see me bratty Pet the kitty, call me catty Make your man call me daddy He talk too much, he's too chatty (not cool) CEO, I'm savvy Respect a bitch, I'm a maverick Flexible, so elastic

When Sydney is feeling spicy or like she wants to be a little more than just her usual dorky self she puts this song on. Something about it really makes her put on a show...which I guess would be her normal dorky self xD even if she doesnt think so. It makes her feel powerful and sexy.

10. Put Your Records On - Corinne Bailey Rae

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favorite song You go ahead, let your hair down Sapphire and faded jeans I hope you get your dreams Just go ahead, let your hair down You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Everything about this song reminds her of a younger Sydney. She wishes she could tell her past self this song. To let her worries go and to just chase after living...and that she’s going to be ok, she will be ok.

11. Head & Heart - Joel Corry x MNEK

Oh my God, oh my God When I see you I should run But I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop Tells me to stop

Feeling feelings I feel about us Try to fight it but it's never enough

My heart is certain It's more than a crush 'Cause I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop

Surprise! This song reminds her of the first time she met Charles. She was still hung up on her ex when she met him about her clinic and almost everything told her to run, but she found herself falling. She tried fighting it in the beginning, but her fighting was no use. She fell and she fell hard for him.

#tw death #wisteriatask #wisteriatask2 #long post tw #death tw #musings;

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smireyac · 4 years ago

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fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......��

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

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chickenfetus · 8 years ago

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all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse?? i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

#if anybody read through all 100.. thank u and have a good day!!!#softshouyous #asks

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nnd1bspring19briadixon-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Assignment #6

Transcript: 02.13.19

Bria: What do you think it means and feels like to be in love?

Nunet: In love... being in love is probably the most reckless things you can do *rests her elbow and leg on the chair*

Bria: *interrupts* reckless you said?

Nunet: very reckless. You feel reckless you feel invincible… you feel… you feel like you have life figured out. *She said looking up at the ceiling*. You know, all these things that you know the Western world considers to be love begin to make sense because you feel like oh now my own narra- my own love story is flourishing, but in reality… I think you know there’s a difference between like being in love and actually loving somebody for who they are like when you're in live I feel like there's this romanization of who this person could be to you

Bria: mhm

Nunet: and… I feel like that’s not very realistic. Hold on is this- *takes the phone out of my hands*. Yeah, it’s okay, just wanted to make sure you weren’t covering the-the the mic.”

Bria: oh yeah, yeah. You’re good.

Nunet: I think it’s back here actually. *flips the phone over on its front side and replaces it back in my hand* “So don’t”

Bria: “oh shoot!” *out of laughter*

Nunet: so um. Yeah I feel like there’s a romanization- there’s a difference between being in love*plays with her hair* and actually having a love for somebody *people talking in the background*

Bria: mhm

Nunet: And like being in love is like the romanization it's like idealistic love like, oh this is gonna last forever *she said mimically*

Bria: mhm!

Nunet: They're not going to you know, doing anything that's ever going to upset me. Or we'll work through it no matter what, but you know actually loving somebody is accepting the fact that love is not perfect *moves her hand in the air* you know that's actually being in love with someone and accepting somebody unconditionally. *takes a breath* for who they are you know getting rid of these preconceived notions that this person is perfect for you-

Bria: “Mhm”

Nunet: because hm, *shrugs her shoulders* they're probably not like there are so many, so many people that are a quote on quote perfect for each other but they're actually they're actually not. I don't know… *stops* I feel like with love there has to be there has to be a dissociation from your ego and I feel like that's a lot of what love

Bria: Yeah

Nunet: the western idea of love

Bria: Right. Cause it's like. My problem. I have, I have like really bad trust issues

Nunet: yeah…

Bria: And like I don't even know from what, you know what I mean. I feel like it's like my parents they’re divorced. They divorced when I was 6 years old so like ii see love as like its gonna end eventually-

Nunet: Yea.!

Bria: Like no matter *I said looking over into the corner* and I feel like that's a bad way to look at it because it's like you're going into something with like this negative thought.

Nunet: yeah *nodding*

Bria: you know what I mean

Nunet: I also feel like people being in love have this idea that love is going to last forever-

Bria: yeah…”

Nunet: And it’s not it’s going to change-

Bria: *joins convo* and it's going to have bad like-

Nunet: You’re going to have- you’re not going to be at a ten all the time, you know. And sometimes love ends *Bria nods her head* you know you don't have a perfect soul mate you have multiple soulmates in your life you know what I mean

Bria: wait to hold up *Checks recording* oh I thought it closed *people talking in the background

Nunet: And it’s complicated, but it doesn’t have to be like at the end of the day I feel like we live in a society where love is something that you need to do it's something that you need to engage in

Bria: mhm

Nunet: in a certain way. But you know love can be as simple as connecting with somebody, seeing their flaws as a human being and accepting that

Bria: mhm *nodding*

Nunet: being with them being beside them while they grow, while they change, while they evolve because the person that you fall in love with is not going to be the same and you know that saying “you weren't the person that I fell in love with” that's-

Bria: *eyes widen*“Oh you mean like I think I know what you mean where its like you get into an argument with somebody, and they’re like-

Nunet: you're not the person I fell in love with and that's the problem because that's the whole problem with love because if you’re falling in love with somebody for who they are in the moment you're not getting to know them you're not giving them the chance from jump to like- for them to show you who they are so you already have this idea of what your love should be and what they should be in your head

Bria: yeah *tilts head and nods* Me! I feel when I meet somebody like especially if I'm attracted to them like it's easy to like imagine shit. You know what I mean-

Nunet: yea! Imagine what they could do for you or

Bria: right exactly

Nunet: and that's where the ego comes in because they’re like oh they’re going to do this for me because this is what love looks like.

Bria: Mhm. but it's not reality

Nunet: it's not reality.

Bria: and I saw this post on Instagram where it was like “when you take away sex from a relationship. There's nothing!

Nunet: What is there?

Bria: and I was like-

Nunet: exactly what do you have in common!? *leans forward with hands in the air*

Bria: that's the sad part!*laughs*

Nunet: what do you have in common *smiles*

Bria: that's the bad part*laughs*

Nunet: and that's why friendship is so, so, so, so, so, so important before- *looks up*

Bria: before a relationship-*nodding*

Nunet: Before anything, and it like *looks back at me*

Bria: And actually get to know the person

Nunet: you know and that's not to say that you can't do that but The friendship should take precedence over the physical intimacy that you guys have

Bria: mhm

Nunet: because you know the friendship could be elevated with the physical

Bria: right

Nunet: not the other way around, because if you have a one-night stand with somebody

Bria: you're not really getting to know that person until they like to contact you and all that shit

Nunet: then you find out they’re a shitty person, and it's like oh

Bria: mhm

Nunet: at least I got d***

Bria: I know right! *bursts out in laughter*

Nunet: I guess you kind of got d*** but you also f***** like a really shitty person *smiles* and it's like-

Bria: yeah and it's like I don't know this whole concept i feel like people will always ask me like well what do you think and I'm like well I can't necessarily explain things to you that I've never felt before you, now what I mean like I can tell you what it thinks it feels like, but I don't know what it actually feels like. You know what I mean like it knows what it means to actually LOVE somebody like my parents and friends and stuff like that, but I don’t know what it is to be in love. *gesturing* and at the same time, I feel like I'm afraid to be in love cause like you get hurt and I think about like I don't want to get cheated on or hurt you know what I mean-

Andrew: b****! *gestures to be quiet* “oh”

Nunet: Yeah, I feel like love… the love. Love is universal I feel like the type of love that we express to our children to our families should also be- or just to like your friends should also be applied to your romantic partner that's why there's a difference between being in love is like the idea, but love is universal

Bria: yeah, cause you to know how they say you can fall out of love you know what I mean?

Nunet: Absolutely, yeah *raises eyebrows* and the unconditional love that you have for your family should apply to every other human being on earth period. So... you know it's it's just something like yeah you have family members that you love, then you’re like oh f***

Bria: Right *laughs*

Nunet: *imitates* don't f*** with them like when they come over like you go into your room, but you still love them

Bria: yeah exactly

Nunet: like that's still your uncle that's still your cousin at the end of the day, but you know you accept that they have flaws, and like but you're still gonna hit up your cousin if you got some s*** that you need to take care of.

Bria: like in the end me and my mom can be pissed off at each other, but I'm never gonna leave the house without being like I love you

Nunet: exactly

Bria: you know what I mean cause you never know what could happen

Nunet: yeah, *the room starts to get crowded* love should apply

Bria: should apply to your significant another right?

Nunet: absolutely

Bria: do you think that there's a difference between like being in love and loving somebody? Because like you can still- I feel like love is like caring and like being supportive of that person you know what I mean but being in love it's like, I don't know how to describe it

Nunet: being in love I feel like is an idea.

Bria: yeah.

Nunet: and actually loving somebody is the reality of love

Bria: I feel you

Nunet: You're not going to stop loving somebody just because you guys get into an argument that's just like this infatuation

Bria: mhm!”

Nunet: that's d*** infatuation. Okay. *smiles*

Bria: *laughs*

Nunet: *smirks* you know- it's not, it's not real love if you cannot compare the love I feel like if you cannot compare the love you have to your significant other to you know a member of your family then it's not

Bria: it's not real love right?

Nunet: cause you're not willing to cut that person as apart of you

Bria: cause its like how do i explain it when I ever think about something before I get into a relationship i think hard like mad hard, because its bad I have really high standards when it comes to relationships so its like, but I also feel like that holds me back from a lot of shit you know what I mean

Nunet: holds you back from a lot of the shitty people *laughs*

Bria: yeah, cause I be like yo like why am I not getting with the guy I wanna be with *laughs* you know what I mean

Nunet: honestly you know

Bria: that shit fucks me over

Nunet: whatever misses you wasn’t meant for you in the first place.

Bria: that's what people say like it's just not your time and I'm like yo it's never my time you know what I mean *leans back with a smile on face*

Nunet: eventually

Bria: and like there are also times I don't want to rush stuff

Nunet: being very particular with the people that you know that you share your love with is very important because the love you know I'm all about free love is amazing, but people will take advantage of that

Bria: people…*hesitantly* I didn't know I feel like people let me give you a scenario like when somebody cheats and then it's like when people cheat they know if you go back to them twice or once they start to walk over you cause they’ll be like “if I do again shell just take me back.”

Nunet: exactly and that's where you have to be careful with your love like be free loving but don't let [guys] walk over you

Bria: and friends are like oh but I love him and it's like do you or do you love the idea of him?

Nunet: yeah exactly like you have to know the power of your love and give it out accordingly to like what's good for you and what your soul is don't give it to people who are just going to suck it out of you. But not make you want to be a loving person just period you know what I mean

Bria: I just can't with relationships s*** just be f***** me up *rolls eyes with a smile on face*

Nunet: yo no forreal and like… you think you're in love with somebody but it's actually kind of just like a really unhealthy attachment in my experience you know it was, it was I thought it was love but it was really just codependency and it was like we were supporting each other in terms of like I hated him like I really hated him like I really did not like him but the fact that he had an apartment and he had a car that could drive me around rural a** buffalo new york you know I was like oh I love him he takes care of me but like he really was just taking care of me and that was it

Bria: I like I know when somebody is good for me but like I'm not for some reason I just can't like attached that like my feelings like I can't be in something if I really don't like you-you know what I mean

Nunet: right and sometimes it happens, sometimes the co-dependency happens

Bria: yeah

Nunet: but it's whatever

Bria: Thank you so much Nunet! *smiles and stands up*

Nunet: No problem!

Bria: can I hug you? Oh my god. *hugs*

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tfw-no-tennis · 5 years ago

Text

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’)

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’)

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?)

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :(

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense

did anything else happen on the airship. ider

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH.

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof.

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN????

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen!

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’)

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit

PREDICTIONS:

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on

#gotta break up my thoughts somehow #wow these are gonna get so damn long espec if ruth and i end up binging a bunch of eps in a short period lmao #unrelated but god 'this must be the place' was just on shuffle which murdered me and now an emo-ass U2 song came on...bruh #anyways #lj watches hxh #hxh

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