#dogstar informers

[barrenclan]

HI! Just binged through most of your comic and HOLY SHIT! It's been amazing, I love the depth of the writing, your art is amazing as usual (love your Dogstar comic as well, greetings from instagram❤️) and all the worldbuilding.

I did want to ask out of curiosity, did you ever decide what were the herbs in Egret's hrt mystery mix and does she still have to take them occasionally or was it a one time dose thing? If not I do accept the "it's a mystery mix" answer as well since neither of us are a biochemist and that shit's hard to research 😅

Thank you! I'm glad you like my comics. :]

I never settled on specific plants or chemicals for the "HRT mix". Here's what I imagined; Egrettail describes what this mixture did for her in the below quote.

She took them repeatedly for awhile, it wasn't just a one-time dose, but she doesn't have to take them anymore. This is all already a bit fantastical, so I can push the science, but essentially this was only a pheremonal change by way of hormones; cats have very low sexual dimorphism, so there wasn't much physically that would have been feasible to change for her. After a while of taking this treatment, her body would have acclimtized to the supplemental hormones and begun to naturally produce them. Because a cat's scent is sort of like its "signature", you can imagine the human equivalent as her voice changing pitch.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating; hormones exist in almost every multicellular organism that has a body big enough to circulate them; they're just specialized messengers that carry specific chemical information. Hormones in plants are not the same as hormones in humans, or cats, but they do bear analogous structures (which is how we study and reproduce them for our own treatments!). This aspect of the story is based on real science but totally not something a cat could reproduce, obviously. I'm no true biochemist, but I have taken and passed university-level Organic Chemistry and Biochemistry (what a bitch of classes those were) and I work in a biomedical lab, so I know the basics.

[north-heats-stronghold]

How did you all come up with a plan to make the crew?

May we know the full members?

(It sorta just came up when me and Novalizinpeace were talking about the au comic she was making. After North's cameo in Onyxonline's comic, me and Nova basically agreed that North would be a Space Rider captain. And North can't be a captain without a crew. So I messaged a couple blogs with oc's in the au and asked if they were interested.)

(As for the crew, there are 6 members in total.)

North Heat: The captain/leader. He's also a skilled mechanic and pilot. An adventurous and optimistic captain. He'll always do his best to ensure his crew his safe while giving them a chance to shine. He also likes to call his crew "The Ranger's".

Zane(@moonspiritleaf): The trainee. Not a official space rider yet, Zane is with North's crew as a final test of his training. After some time doing on the field work, if North gives his approval then Zane will pass and become a official space rider.

Merrit(@fishy0bishy): The crew's scientist and botanist. She would also probably be the closest thing the crew has to a doctor.

Jaz(@fanofanythingsblog): The crew's cultural liaison. If there's a situation that needs to be talked through, then Jaz's usually the one to do it. Whether it's a hostage situation, being a mediator, or first encounters with a new planet.

Zelda(@fandomssvetlanafrom): The crew's combat expert. Part of a two man forward team with Sparky. However, if the mission is ever too dangerous or time consuming for just the two of them, then North will usually have himself and/or Zane tag along to assist.

DogStar-02, aka.Sparky(@fandomssvetlanafrom): Zelda's partner in crime. This robotic dog assists Zelda on missions in all kinds of ways, and is usually never far away from her.

(If the owner's of these oc's see I made any mistakes, assumptions, or simply wish to add more. There free to correct me or reblog with there additional information.)

[ackackh]

well this maybe a little excessive but 🍊 🍋 🍈 🫐 🍇, if you will!

Thank you for the ask, anon! This is too long and I don’t regret it! 💕

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

There. Are. So. Many. The first character who came to mind tho is Doc Bryan. I wrote 5k words of a fic forever ago from his POV and I loved working in that space but I also find his voice really hard to pin down. One day I will finish it and you’ll get to read all about how when you’re sad it helps to fuck a friend. (Ray)

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

MMMM this is a hard one because I feel like I’m still finding my voice in this area. Uh I do love writing a first-time scene tho. And first time bottoming? Yes pls. Literally it’s in both the aforementioned Doc fic (Ray) and in DOGSTAR. (Andy) I feel like the general consensus in the fandom is that Eddie bottoms, which I also like, but I’m really into the idea of Andy specifically needing to let someone take care of him. Eddie is happy to help.

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

Ray, my truest blorbo, I have put him in Blender as a 3D model and am rotating him as we speak. Of course I love the motor-mouthing, but my favorite thing about him is that he’s so fucking intelligent underneath that. Like the most perceptive motherfucker. In God Is a Bluegill, he is constantly noticing EVERYTHING, especially how other people are feeling, and that 100% informs his behavior. Boy is a sponge. And his mania is either a medication for himself or for others and either way, I do think it’s genuine, I just think he also uses it as a social tool.

Also, if I’m writing BradRay, I love to make him quietly suffer. Little queer guy from Missouri, he’s internalized the idea that he doesn’t get to have what he wants, so he doesn’t even try to attain it. So while Brad is either pining after someone else, or hung up on his ex, Ray is like, ‘I’m gonna be the best friend, I’ll be whatever you need.’ And it’s BAD FOR HIM. There are similar things going on in the Doc fic as well, Ray wanting to do whatever he can to hold his friends together, likely at his own personal risk.

Damn, I need to finish that Brad-gets-dumped-during-OIF fic.

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

I’m pretty pleased with what the HBOWar fandom has to offer, we have so many talented writers who have lots of different ideas, so it’s hard to think of what I’m missing. I’d love to see more Doc Bryan POV, obviously I’m currently thinking on him a lot.

Here’s something I’ve wanted to write about because I love projecting and you can’t stop me: gimme transmasc Ray. I need a fic where his mania, his bravado, his insight into others are all things he’s developed to protect himself throughout his life. Like, I get we’d have to write around a lot of stuff with the Marines, but trans soldiers, at the very least, did/do exist in Middle East deployments, so I feel like we could suspend our disbelief a lil bit. Also foaming at the mouth for an E rated fic featuring this. For reasons. Ahem 😅

🍇 Is there a particular scene/episode/book/etc that you want to just write a million fics about, over and over? Which one?

Not to be on my AndyEddie bullshit again, but I could write over and over again about Andy and the day Eddie died. I’m visiting it way too much in DOGSTAR. But in my defense, I’m focusing a lot more on trauma in this version and in a world in which either survived, I think Eddie getting hit on the ridge would have fundamentally changed Andy. Especially, as is the case in this fic, if Andy believed Eddie was dead and not just wounded.

[dogstar9069]

Hello! My name's Dogstar (or Lukas) and I go by any pronouns.

I dump my English translyrics here for songs I have completed translation adaptions for. I’m big into Project Sekai (Leoni oshi) and artists like Ling tosite Sigure, Reona, Cö shu Nie, etc. so expect anime ops and maybe some of their discography.

I’ve been doing translyrics in private for about 3 years now cause I didn’t have the confidence to post them. I might go on days where I dump a bunch but it’s still just me refining them and posting already existing lyrics I had done.

You're free to use them, just credit back to me! (preferably directly link the blog post if you post a cover with my translyrics).

If you do use them, I’d love to see them! You can shoot a dm to me.

Translyrics Masterlist

Commission Information

[toreadornot]

What I read in May - featuring three 5⭐ books!

Ocean's Godori was my favorite by far, a bit of a cliffhanger ending, but a good set-up for a sci-fi series based on Korean culture instead of a western one.

Singing the Dogstar Blues was helped in its rating by my years of searching for the story about telepathic aliens paired with a genetically engineered human (I really enjoyed "The Real Thing" short story in Firebirds Rising, but apparently not enough to remember that's where I read it).

How to Keep House While Drowning is very compassionate and urges you to find what works for you even if it doesn't keep your house/apartment "tidy". More Executive Functioning focused, but still lots of helpful reminders for my physical limitations. Had a 'shortcuts' version that I would have needed when I had more trouble reading/processing information because of my medical issues. Probably not as useful for anyone who doesn't feel like they're drowning just trying to keep up with self care tasks.

Shorter, low-spoilery reviews below cut for the rest of my reads

Curse of the Specter Queen by Jenny Elder Moke, 4⭐

Enjoyable, somewhat predictable, Indiana Jones-esque adventure.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi, 4⭐

Really enjoyed the magic system, did not feel the need to read the next book because the romance plot just annoyed me

The Diviners by Libba Bray, 3⭐

Interesting time period, cared about a few characters (like Memphis and his brother), but disliked others enough that I wasn't invested enough to read the next book

Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell, 4⭐

Eldritch monster who falls in love with a human who's trying to hunt her down? yes please. (also ace rep?!) Just wish it had ended like a chapter or two sooner

Singing the Dogstar Blues by Allison Goodman, 5⭐

Time-traveling student who is lightly generically modified gets paired up with telepathic alien and help him heal. Predictable, but it was written in the 90s, and it was still very enjoyable.

Plucked by the Orc by Jenna Larkin, 1⭐

My Fair Lady with an Orc, only finished for BINGO (and the cover might be AI generated? I don't have a twitter so I couldn't read the full claims)

Ocean's Godori by Elaine U. Cho, 5⭐

Korean based Space Opera. Slower paced world building at the beginning, but so much of it comes back later to matter/echo. The sequel is in the works too.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley, 4⭐

Clockwork/steampunk vibes, with some supernatural elements thrown in. Wish the physicist hadn't been so unlikeable, but I think she was supposed to be? Still thinking about bits of it a week later.

Kaikeyi by Viashnavi Patel, 4⭐

A villain perspective/Wicked treatment of the queen from the Ramayana, done very well, enjoyed the magic of connections. Definitely want to read her next re-telling which just came out about two weeks ago

[featherburnt]

Some important themes I will be tackling with Hellhound’s older, significantly more helpless brother Faith:

Broken Families: They were separated when Hellhound was born. Their mother, Juno (Dogstar, her hero name), ran off to Japan with the man she’d been having an affair with, Hisato (or Firebrand, his hero name), shortly after Hellhound was born - and this change was permanent. Faith was the unwanted child and Juno was unhappy in her marriage to Cash, so she saw this dashing flame hero Hisato as her ticket out of the U.S., her ticket out of her marriage. She felt trapped, stuck with a frail, cat-like child who reminded her only of her failures in life, so she left the moment she saw an opening. This destroyed Cash in more ways than one and he took it out on Faith. All manners of abuse were a daily occurrance right up until Faith turned 17, where he chose to murder his father and stage it as a suicide - that he got away with. A few short years after that and he recieved a letter in the mail from someone named Nogitsune, who informed him in the letter that his mother had recently passed away, but his brother was still alive. So, with the money he’d been saving for a few years, he bought his way into Japan to look for him. Hellhound has no idea Faith even exists and he’s tempted to keep it that way, if only to prevent himself from shrouding his hero career in nothing but scandal. Faith’s the big brother, after all. Meanwhile, Nogitsune would have been crafting an alternate identity for Faith to assume before his very planned death.

Brotherhood: Once Hellhound is reunited with Faith, their relationships is very confusing to him. He won’t know whether to be grateful or angry that he’s had more family all this time, that he isn’t entirely alone, so he ends up keeping Faith at arm’s length. Completely and totally separate from his professional and personal life until he can figure out what any of this means for him. A nomu attack in Osaka forces him to make a decision before he’s ready, and it’s here that their relationship begins to really develop (with a little encouragement from a very busy bird man). They bicker, argue, get excited over some of the same things, spend time talking about their lives, and for once both their guards have dropped. They laugh, smile, and they steadily form a strong if a little anxious brotherly bond. Here is where we see some of the weight squared on both their shoulders begin to lift; They’ve been given the opportunity to stitch the final pieces of their family back together and protect it with everything they have - and they do. They vow to work together and keep each other safe, despite Hellhound’s insistence on, “If you’re in danger, I’ll save you. If I’m in danger, save everyone else.”

For reference, Faith is 24-25 in this fic, whereas Hellhound is 21-22. They’re close in age and have lived wildly different lives, sharing some traumas, and their respective outlooks on life are similar but different at the same time as well. Hellhound believes that no matter how hard his life has become, he must continue to live it as it is. He must soldier on even if and especially when it’s clear he cannot succeed or is falling apart at the seams - and he has to do it alone, much as he hates that. Faith believes that no matter how hard his life is, there will always be beauty in it and, for that reason, he will continue to live it. There is hope that it can change for the better, that he will one day heal. They both believe that they will never be good for anything more than the purposes they’d given themselves as children, that of a nameless, faceless ‘hero’ and...that of a tool used for sexual gratification. Wildly different lives, similar degrees of hopelessness even though one of them still holds onto a shred or two. 

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 8/10 (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to Hollywood trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget her ex. Neither of them is expecting to fall in love and all the problems it brings. Previous chapters:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Author’s notes: we’re getting closer to the end of this journey. Please grab your tissues for this one.

Wordcount: 3275

Warnings: angst (two fools that can’t communicate).

Keanu paced around the room, his stomach twisted into knots, his lungs feeling like they had been wrapped with rope and squeezed tight. Not enough air seemed to reach them. Bile rose to his throat and it felt like he was about to throw up, but whenever he rushed to the bathroom, he could only manage to dry heave, nothing coming out.

He wanted to punch a wall, break something, maybe that would soothe the seething anger raging inside him, but Keanu knew it was the worst way possible to deal with it. Destruction wouldn’t help fix this. Wouldn’t stop the way his heart ached with every beat.

Rubbing away the treacherous tears that escaped his eyes, Keanu moved to the balcony, lighting up a cigarette to try calm and center himself. Maybe if he could do that he might be able to figure out why Steph would do something like that. Why she would hurt him so viciously.

He understood that she was jealous of the way Cassandra acted around him, but she didn’t even give him a second to explain.

Much like he had done when he saw her with Kevin in the club. He had left without a word. Ignored her for weeks. Keanu guessed he did hurt her too back then. Did she felt like this? Raw and bleeding?

Did she saw the entire scene unfolding on repeat in her mind as if some masochistic part of her needed to prod that wound, like a kid discovering their own injuries? They knew it would hurt, but the couldn’t help but pick at it anyway.

Did it hurt her like it hurt him now? Maybe exposing and humiliating him in front of her friends was payback for that?

He couldn’t see Steph being that petty, but then again, he only really knew her for close to three months. As far as he knew all that sweet and kind persona she always showed him could be all an act. She was an actress after all.

The thought of it once again made a lump rise to his throat and Keanu rushed to the bathroom, dry heaving on the toilet for a few seconds before he wiped the corner of his mouth from drool and dropped to the floor, leaning against the cool tiles of the bathroom.

Why couldn’t he catch a break? His life had been one disaster after another. His father leaving; his mother’s string of failed marriages; his struggles through school; the way he crashed and burned with his acting career, now this?

If he believed in reincarnation, Keanu would say he was a shitty person in his previous life. It was the only thing he could think of that would explain all of this. He brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin on top of it as he stared at the shower stall. Only hours ago, they were completely happy in there. If he could only turn back time…

Keanu stood up when he heard the electric chime of the door lock, stepping out of the bathroom just as Steph stepped into the room, her makeup smudged for crying. She stared at him, big brown eyes welling up with fresh new tears; bottom lip caught between her teeth as if to stop it from trembling.

He had to force himself to stay still. Keep himself from going to her; catching her in his arms; assure everything would be alright.

“I am so, so, sorry,” she breathed out, voice small and quivering. “What I did was…” Steph trailed off, shaking her head. “I didn’t even know I could be that much of a bitch. I understand if you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Steph,” Keanu sighed, leaning against the wall. “It would be easier if I did. I could just leave, but…” it was his time to shake his head, avoid her gaze. “Why? You said you didn’t care. Twice!”

“I know!” her tone went a little high-pitched as she rubbed her forehead. “I really thought I didn’t care… before I realized…” Steph paused, and Keanu could feel her gaze on him, so he looked at her; at the way she chewed the inside of her cheek and fidgeted with the hem of her dress. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes, but he saw something else too.

“I love you too,” he admitted with a defeated sigh. Those were the words Keanu wanted to say all weekend, but not like this.

“Then please tell me we can work this out?” Steph begged, coming to stand in front of him, taking his hands in hers. “You can quit Mars and Venus and…”

“And what, Steph?” he asked, pulling his hands away and sidestepping her. “You’ll support me? Pay my bills? I’m gonna be your personal fuck toy?” His words were harsh, design to hurt.

“No!” she rushed to say, stepping closer again but he took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “Keanu, that’s not what I meant, I just…”

“Just can’t be seen with a hooker, right?” he said, once again cutting her off and shaking his head. “For your information, you might be ashamed of my job, but I’m not, alright? I’m not doing anything wrong or against the law. I get to support myself, paying for my dreams, help my family…”

“By selling your body!” she exclaimed and Keanu sighed. If he was honest, he had his own reservations about it the whole thing at first, but he learned to see in a different way as time passed.

“You sell your body,” he pointed out earning a startled look from Steph. “You let someone decide who you’re gonna be, what you’re gonna dress, what you’re gonna say… How is that different from what I do? Except for it being legal and morally accepted?”

With a sigh, Keanu rubbed his temples, feeling a headache starting. He was tired of this. Tired of feeling bad and ashamed about what he did. It was a job and nothing more. He could handle if Steph was just jealous. It would suck but they could find a way to fix it. If she couldn’t accept him or his job? There was no way to go from there.

“I’m tired, Steph,” said in a low voice, turning away from her. “Please go.”

He could hear her hesitating, lingering in the room and he could picture the expression in her face: pained. Distraught. Guilty. Heartbroken. But he wasn’t ready to face her again. Not if he wanted to maintain his resolve.

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is.” He barely managed to get the words out through the lump of pain in his throat. The urge to dry heave returning once again, but he forced down.

“Alright.” Keanu heard her taking a deep breath and her steps moving away from him. “If this is the last time we’re gonna speak, there are three things I need you to know.”

Keanu hesitated for a second, before finally looking up at Steph, finding her by the door, hugging herself, eyes downcast.

“What is it?”

“People in the restaurant heard me and started tweeting. By now, most of the gossip sites and magazines must know already. About me and you.”

“So, you want me to deny it?” he asked his tone a little more biting than he planned.

“I’m just letting you know because the press will be all over you and I’m very sorry about that. Do whatever you feel it’s right.” Keanu nodded in reply and waited as Steph hesitated in speaking again.

“The second thing is that I do hope Dogstar takes off. You guys are really good. Mike wouldn’t have signed you if he didn’t agree and he is one of the best music producers out there. And yes, I know him. I didn’t ask him to sign you. He made that decision on his own.”

There were so many things Keanu wanted to say to that, his feelings bubbling on the surface, too entangled for him to make sense right there, but the truth was that he always had a feeling Steph had something to do with it. All of a sudden a famous music producer comes to check them out? They might live in Hollywood, but this wasn’t a movie. Keanu wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just decided to let go for now.

“What’s the third thing?” he said instead, and this time Steph looked up at him, eyes filling with tears again.

“I’ve never felt for someone what I feel about you,” she declared, firm and strong. “I love you, Ke and I’m truly sorry I fucked it up.”

She was walking forward before Keanu could even process her movements, pausing in front of him for only seconds to silently ask his permission, before pressing her lips to his.

The kiss was soft, full of want, much like the kisses they shared while making love the night before and when Steph finally pulled back, all he wanted was to keep her in his arms and pretend none of that had happened. Instead, he let his arms drop to his sides and watched as Steph walked out of the room and his life.

---

Keanu’s eyes ran over the words of the document in front of him. He knew his brother-in-law, who was a lawyer and much more apt for these sort of things, had already gone through it, making sure everything was as it should, but considering it would be Keanu’s name on the dotted line, it didn’t hurt to look it over one more time.

It wasn’t as if he was hesitant about doing this. He knew he wanted to do it. If he didn’t use this money to help his family what would be the point of everything he had gone through the last year?

In the end, all he ever wanted was to have some comfort for himself, for his family, for those he cared about. After all the years of struggle, Keanu could finally do that. It had cost him a high price, but it was too late.

He set the document back on the bank manager’s desk, signing his name in all the marked places before handing it back to the man in front of him. With that, Keanu had just paid off the mortgage on her mother’s house and a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders as the manager excused himself to make a copy of the document, leaving Keanu to his own thoughts.

“It’s really nice what you’re doing, you know?” a woman commented, drawing his attention to her. From her uniform, he knew she was another bank employee. “Helping your mom like that.”

“Just doing what everyone would do,” Keanu dismissed her words with a shrug, eyeing his phone. He needed to get ready for the interview this afternoon.

“Not true, you know?” the woman said, flashing him a smile. She was pretty. Brown hair, big brown eyes, small frame. Reminded him of… Keanu shook that thought of his head, focusing on the girl in front of him not the one in his past. “This is going to sound like a pickup line, but I feel like I’ve seen you before.”

Keanu let out a sigh along with a humorless chuckle. There were two ways he could answer this, but considering he was in his home town back in Canada, he knew what was the most likely one. He thought he had moved past this, but apparently, it would haunt him for the rest of his days.

“Stephanie Walker’s hooker boyfriend,” he declared easily, the words no longer making him feel ashamed or bitter as it once had.

The woman’s eyes widened in recognition and she scurried off without another word, making him snort and think back on what had happened.

The second Keanu stepped out of the hotel room in Paris all those months ago, his failed relationship with Steph had followed him. Paparazzi and journalist hounded and mobbed him asking him for details if the claims of him being a hooker were true.

Keanu didn’t answer of course, but by the time he got back to the States, someone had found his profile on Mars and Venus and leaked to the press. It was all the confirmation people needed and suddenly he couldn’t go anywhere without being cornered by someone asking for an exclusive interview.

People in his life was shocked by the news and Keanu had to have several uncomfortable conversations with his bandmates and Gard and finally his family. They were less than thrilled with discovery but even more worried about the fact that Keanu wasn’t willing to get out of Mars and Venus.

He used the same speech he gave Steph, about being just another job. About only being thought of it as wrong or bad because of morals and that he wasn’t going to give it up. Not when he was managing to help himself and everyone around him.

Robert and Brett accepted it a little begrudgingly. They knew it would follow Dogstar, but maybe Mike could spin it in some kind of positive way. Gard claimed he didn’t care as long as Keanu showed up on time for his day job. It was his mom and sisters that protested the most, but it was hard to ignore the fact that thanks to Keanu’s job, they managed to pay from Karina’s education in full.

With that in mind, Keanu upped his price to ten thousand dollars a night and started taking requests again. He made sure to let people know that he would not discuss Steph in any way. Most of them respected it. A couple still tried to sneak a question or two, but he made sure to shut then off.

He was getting better at the entire thing, shrugging on the persona of Charles as much as he put the designer clothes he used for those dates. It was just a part he played. Not the real Keanu, because this was a job. Just a job. Nothing more.

Keanu really thought he could do it. Keep going like nothing happened. In the first month of the scandal, he pretended not to seem Steph’s face in every magazine, gossip site, and entertainment channels. Even serious newscasts seemed to use her case as a kick-starter to discuss the politics behind legalized solicitation and everything in between.

However, after that first month, everything seemed to calm down and after the first failed attempts at getting exclusive interviews or conning him into talking about the entire thing, Keanu was left alone by the press and he really thought it was the end of it. That they both would get to move on with their lives.

That was until he accepted a date with a woman, and it turned out as one of the biggest mistakes he ever made.  At first, everything seemed fine. They met at a restaurant, talked and laughed over some wine and nice food. She tried to prod a little into his personal life, but Keanu had long learned to dodge those questions.

He took her home and accepted her offer for another drink and that was when she tried to have sex with him. Keanu reminded her of the agreement they made through the chat and she relented, saying her goodnight.

A week later, his profile picture from Mars and Venus was splashed on the web followed by the article that gave him the moniker of Stephanie Walker’s Hooker Boyfriend. The date had been just a way for the journalist to get information on him and make a stupid exposé.

The entire thing was obviously biased against Steph and as a result, it didn’t paint Keanu in a very flattering light. It almost made him reach out to Steph. Apologize for being responsible to bring up the entire mess once more.

Instead, he quitted Mars and Venus for good. He made enough now to be comfortable and Dogstar was getting more and more gigs. The only good thing that came out of the entire thing. Keanu could afford to rely on the band’s profits. Especially once they signed a record deal.

Flash-forward six months and here Keanu was, back in his home country, for a couple of concerts and interviews to promote their first record. Dogstar was going on their first tour as the actual main attraction. People were paying to see them, buying their record and merchandising. Entertainment channels invited them to play and for interviews. They weren’t huge, but they were making their way and it felt good. Almost good enough to hide the gaping hole that still existed in his heart.

Keanu still thought about Steph every day; wondering what she was doing and how she was faring after everything. He dreamt about her and still caught himself looking at the few pictures she had sent him over the month, they spent chatting through facetime.

“You should call her,” Kim declared, making Keanu start and look over at his sister. She was the one that picked him up at the bank and was driving him to the TV studio. They had an interview before the concert Dogstar would play that night. “Steph.”

“Kim…” he sighed and shook his head. Of everyone in his life, she was the only one who knew everything. She was the only one who knew Steph had been more than just a client. That Keanu actually loved her. “I can’t. What she did…”

“Yeah, I know. It was awful, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you feel well and confident if the person you loved went out regularly in dates with other people?”

“I wouldn’t,” he admitted in a low voice. “But I would talk to them instead of hurting them, though.”

“She fucked up, but let’s be honest: she got the shittier side of this mess,” Kim pointed out, looking sideways at him. “Did you know several ad companies cut off contracts with her after the entire thing? And production actually killed off her character in that big movie she was shooting in France so as not to have her name associated with them. She had lost tons of parts and were even blacklisted by a couple of studios…”

“How do you know all this?” Keanu asked with a frown. His sister seemed more well informed than he could ever hope to be.

“This journalist I like wrote a think piece on the entire thing,” she replied. “Don’t worry, they didn’t mention you. Not directly anyway. It was more focused on how Hollywood is such a misogynistic place and used Steph as evidence. They compared her case with this other actor’s who was caught with a hooker when solicitation was still illegal and absolutely nothing happened to his career. He’s still going strong. It’s not fair.”

He really hadn’t thought about it that way. Considered the impacts of the entire thing for Steph. Keanu knew her world was unforgiving, but he didn’t know she had lost this much… He could only imagine how she was doing. Steph loved her job. That much he knew. And she risked everything by being with him and she was suffering the consequences of it while the worst he got was a stupid nickname.

“Can you send it to me? The article.” Keanu asked once she pulled out in front of the studio. Kim nodded, giving her brother a hug.

“Knock them dead. In there and tonight,” she said, kissing his cheek. “And think about what I told you.”

“I will.”

xxx (tbc) xxx

go to chapter 09

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[allie1804-fan]

A Doorway is Opened (Chapter 2)

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 It was June 2020 and progress was being made with plans to re-open film production - Keanu would soon be heading back to Germany to continue shooting the Matrix 4.  With the lock-down restrictions on meeting friends lifting, Keanu invited Hannah to dinner at his house. He even cooked - a dish of spaghetti with prawns, fresh tomato and lemon that his sister had taught him.  This would be their first meeting in 2 months and their last in 2 months due to the shooting schedule.  

After dinner, they went through to his living room and sat on the sofa to talk through the latest draft of the script.

 “So, you’re glad I pushed you on this aren’t you? Gave you something to do in lock-down huh?”

 “Yeah OK you win”, she laughed. “I’m grateful to you for giving me the confidence to try”  

 She carried on:

 “You know these past couple of months I’ve felt like the clouds have lifted, the clouds of grief …. and I know that’s partly just time passing but it’s also thanks to you and your friendship” she spoke in an almost whisper.  When she met his gaze he was blushing again!

 “The screenplay gave me a real focus for the first time since Mark died you know other than helping the boys and just putting one foot in front of the other”

 He nodded his understanding

 “I kind of feel like a plant coming back to life after a long dark winter”

 He smiled to think he’d helped her to loosen grief’s grip on her soul.

 “I heard a theory about this before. They said that your grief is always the same, the same size and just as painful but your life grows around it and cushions the pain”

 Keanu nodded his agreement

 “For me” he said, “sometimes my grief bursts forth like an alien from my chest when I least expect it. I hope we find a way to express your concept in the movie when it’s made -  I love it so much. You have some beautiful ways of explaining grief”

 “Well like I said, that one’s not mine, it’s just one I found that really resonated with me”

 “You’re too modest”

 They looked at each other. Somehow, the atmosphere had changed with the sharing of such deep feelings. Keanu looked at her, soft brown eyes holding hers for a few moments longer than felt comfortable. Suddenly he shook his head as if a shiver went through him

 “Where are my manners, would you like some more wine”

 “I better not, I’m driving and I’ve already had one glass” she said.

 “You could always sleep over, in the spare room I mean, I mean I’m not hitting on you or anything, not that I wouldn’t want to, oh God! ……….”

 By this point, Hannah had started laughing at his befuddlement and he started to giggle as well.

 “Sorry for being such a dork – could you stay though?” he beseeched her with his eyes,  or do you need to be back for the kids?, I know I sound like I’m begging, I kind of am I guess ……….. it would just be nice to talk some more ………. I mean what with we me going away for 2 months, Facetime just isn’t the same!”

 Hannah took pity on him and placed her hand on top of his and stroked it softly

 “1 I don’t need to be back for the boys, they’re at their grandparents this week and so 2, yes I could sleep over and 3 yes please, more wine!”

 Keanu beamed and leapt up to fetch the bottle from the kitchen.

“What were we talking about before I started being a total dork?!

 Hannah chuckled “oh grief, death, our usual cheery stuff!”

 “Oh yes, of course we were, what else is there after all?!”

 A ghost of a smiled showed on Hannah’s face.

 “Do you mind telling me some more about Mark? How long were you together”

 “Wow, over 30 years   - we were just kids when we met, literally in elementary school. But we didn’t go out until I was 17, nearly 18. I guess I kind of stalked him until he caved in!  We knew we were in love about a month in I guess and we got engaged whilst at uni but married just after. I was 23 so we had been married 27 years when he died”

 “Wow you were so young to be getting married!”

 “I know right! - when I think Toby is already nearly that age, it freaks me out big time.  Anyway, I guess you almost know the rest, from the book. We were lucky in so many ways to find each other and stay in love throughout.

 A comfortable silence fell as she reflected and wondered about his romantic history. She hoped their current intimacy meant it would be OK to ask.

 “What about you? Who have been your big loves, if it’s OK to ask”

 “Sure – I mean I think I can be confident of not seeing any of this in next week’s National Enquirer! Let me see, errrrm  there was Penny. She drove with me from Toronto to LA when I left there to pursue my career.  It wasn’t exactly serious - she knew how focussed on my acting I was, but she was special, my first steady girlfriend I guess.”

Keanu then told her about a few other steady girlfriends in the 80’s and early 90s. None of them had lasted beyond a year. Film and promotional schedules often overtook his time and took him away from LA making it hard to sustain relationships.

 “And then there was Jennifer. We had a long distance thing largely as I was away filming the first Matrix not long after we hooked up. I think that added in my head to the romance of it all. Writing her letters on my little typewriter after long days on set, posting them from thousands of miles away. Once I got back to LA things felt less sure, she was never confident in us, always needing reassurance and I think she found the celebrity thing both exciting and overwhelming - like she was part way a fan, partly my lover, you know? Then she got pregnant and everything changed”

 “Oh so Jennifer was the mother of your baby, the one who died?”

 Hannah knew this one fact about him but had steered away from looking stuff up on-line about it. She counted him as a friend now so if anything was to be shared, it had to come from him.

 “Yeah, Ava’s mother. 19 years ago…….so much water under the bridge.”

 “Do you think about her often now?”

 “Who? Jen or Ava?”

 “Both I guess”

 “Yeah sometimes. You know in a sliding doors type way, especially at Christmas. That’s when we lost Ava. Christmas Eve 1999. What about you, do you think about your lost babies?”

 “Yes sometime of course …….  but I think it’s different for me. My lost babies paved the way for Josh. If they’d lived, he wouldn’t be here, so I don’t mourn them as maybe you mourn your daughter, do you see? Of course I do think of them and every Christmas we’d hang stars and angels on the tree for them. That’s how we remembered them and the pain of their loss.”

 Hannah was quiet for a few moments, remembering

 “Do you have a way, a ritual to remember Ava? Do you and your family do something to remember her?”

 “I guess they always just try to make sure I’m not alone at Christmas. That’s threatened to happen a couple of times and then Brenda or Janey or Alexandra have stepped in you know to rescue me! Stop me embodying my meme!”

 “Your meme?”

 You know, “Sad Keanu”?

 “That one must have passed me by! I’ll get the boys to explain to their boomer mom!”

 “I’m so glad you’re a boomer mum as you say and not all over it when it comes to press and internet stuff about me. It’s refreshing. Makes me feel I can be me without all that stuff informing who you think I am. Sometimes it gets in the way with new people, you know? I know I can be myself around my old old friends like Alex (he was in Bill and Ted) and Rob (he was in the band with me)

 “Wait you were in a band?”

 “Yes back in the 90s, Dogstar. Our folk thrash punk band”

 “Sounds interesting – I clearly wasn’t paying enough attention back in the 90s!”

 “Well we weren’t exactly topping the charts so that would probably explain it!”

 “Can I hear some of your stuff?”

 “Sure”

 Keanu fetched some cds and had a look through to pick a song, going for  “And I Pray”.

 “Gosh, a man of many talents” she praised “what did you play?”

 “the bass”

 “Cool”

 “wanna listen to some more music? I can hook up my phone to the speakers and we can play things on Spotify”.

 “Sure, so you’re au fait with all the new tech? I took me ages to get there and I still have loads of cds and vinyl”

 “me too   - believe me I’m generally way behind the curve with technology but my god-daughter and my kid sister both played a role in bringing me into the 21st century”

They spent the next couple of hours, huddled on the sofa, scrolling through music choices on his phone and sharing both his and her favourites as well as reminiscing about bands they’d grown up listening to and great concerts they’d been to.

 It was around 1am, with Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” softly playing that Hannah’s head lolled onto Keanu’s shoulder, the impact startling her back awake

 “sorry, sorry” she said embarrassed

 “hey no worries, you wanna go to bed now?” he asked

 “Yeah, as you saw, my eyes are closing” 

 “Come on, let’s get you set up in the guest room, I’ve got a spare t-shirt you can sleep in if you like and there’s a new toothbrush in the en-suite with your room.

 The room was a pretty one, perhaps decorated with his god-daughter in mind she thought. Once he’d shown her where things were and how to work the shower, Keanu bade her goodnight with a light kiss on her cheek. Despite being so tired, it took Hannah a good half hour to fall asleep. She touched the cheek where he’d kissed her and giggled inwardly at herself for feeling like a giddy teenager. In the past 2 months, she’d recognised her growing fondness for Keanu, putting it down to a mix of absence making the heart grow fonder and the Covid crisis making her susceptible. She’d found him very attractive way before she met him but she certainly hadn’t expected that he would reciprocate those nascent feelings. Tonight his lingering gaze as they talked about grief, his befuddlement trying to get her to stay and his soft goodnight kiss all made her wonder and maybe even hope. Tomorrow was another day.

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[angelofberlin2000]

Jessica Campbell

5 Feb 2019

Keanu Reeves is a rare talent when it comes to the canon of Hollywood A-listers.

His life is one paparazzi are unable to disclose as the actor is famously private, and consequently he flies under the radar for most of the year as fans wait patiently for his next starring role. B

ut if one thing is certain: Reeves don’t need the added fanfare of spectacle, he already has it.

So incredible are the actor’s talents that he is undoubtedly one of the greatest action stars of all time. Increasingly however, we’re starting to wonder if he is the single greatest, with no other contenders necessary.

The actor’s name is synonymous with the role of Neo in The Matrix triology, where Reeves performed some of the most iconic action sequences in recently history. But his resume is far more impressive than these three films alone, showcasing a dedication to the craft of action stunts that set him apart from any of his contemporaries.

But acting aside, Reeves is also renowned for being the greatest human alive.

His background is one of tragedy, but that hasn’t stopped Reeves from being an absolutely top bloke.

Personal life

Reeve’s father was a largely neglectful drug addict and it’s well documented that Reeves struggled with dyslexia as a child.

His close friend, River Phoenix, died a very public death outside Johnny Depp’s Hollywood Club, the Viper Room, which affected Reeves deeply.

To add to this tragedy, Reeves later had a stillborn baby with his long-term girlfriend, Jennifer Syme. The traumatising loss put a strain on their relationship until her tragic death from a car accident at age 29.

His sister, Kim Reeves, was diagnosed with leukemia and Reeves took on the role of her primary caretaker for the duration of her decade-long battle with the illness, even going so far as to set up a charity in her honour – without attaching his name to it.

Over the course of his acting career, Reeves has made a name for himself as someone who is generous with his time and extremely humble.

Those who have been on set with him recall that Reeves treated the stage hands and “grunt workers” by taking them out for free breakfast and lunch, and was always socially approachable and made an effort to put a name to the faces he encountered.

On the set of The Matrix, Reeves heard about a worker whose family was suffering financially, so naturally Reeves gave him a $20,000 Christmas bonus.

Philanthropy

Perhaps the most famous story surrounding the actor was back in 1997, when paparazzi spotted him hanging out with a homeless person.

On the streets of Hollywood, Reeves sat down with a homeless man and shared some drinks, snacks and listened to his stories, interested in what the man had to say.

Unlike most of Hollywood, Reeves is clearly generous and also has far more talent than mere acting chops. He’s flexed his skills as a musician along the way, playing bass in the band Dogstar.

Career

But when it comes to his acting, Reeves reached supernova status after 1994’s Speed.

There was a science to the ‘90s Hollywood studio action movie: it required movie stars. But not those of the square-jawed, shredded variety. No, these movie stars had to be charming and pretty to look at.

Reeves fit the bill and with its ridiculous plot and unnervingly fast-pace, Speed cemented itself as one of the best Hollywood studio action movies of its time.

Make no mistake – Reeves was already a movie star before Speed hit cinemas, having played an action-hero role in Kathryn Bigelow’s gripping Point Break.

But Speed did something more for the actor. Thankfully, Reeves was smart enough to avoid the film’s insta-bomb sequel, choosing instead to play Hamlet in a Winniepeg stage production instead.

Before starring in John Wick, Reeves went to Hong Kong and China where he made his directorial debut with the film, Man Of Tai Chi.

The underground-fighting movie has a slightly incoherent plot, but the attention to detail and fight choreography is sensational. Although mostly in Chinese, Reeves plays the villain – a glowering evil American billionaire who makes people fight to the death – and highlights the talents of Tiger Chen, a Chinese martial artist who’d been one of the first choreographers for The Matrix.

Reeves had done his own stunts in Speed and trained hard in wire-fu for The Matrix, but as anyone who has seen John Wick can inform you, it’s this film that cements his spot in the history of the action film genre.

In the history of American action cinema, there are few movies that take their fight scenes as seriously as John Wick.

Gone are the choppy, illegible Hollywood action scenes audiences became accustomed to seeing. Instead, the film revived the cinematic beauty of a well-shot, well-choreographed fight and in doing so, Reeves commands the screen as an unstoppable killing machine.

It’s hard to believe that Reeves was 50 when the first instalment of the franchise came out, yet he still trained hard to make the movies as physical as possible.

His loyalty to The Matrix team is endearing, as Reeves recruited stunt doubles Stahelski and Leitch from The Matrix to direct the movie, despite the fact they’d never directed a film before.

The risk payed off, and Reeves threw himself into training, learning styles of martial arts he’d previously never attempted.

Watching the film is a delight, simply to see Reeves pull off these incredible fight scenes, mixing gunplay with hand-to-hand combat with a sense of ease and efficiency, all the while delivering his badass lines with his signature wit and charisma.

It’s no surprise that John Wick made an impact, making money and earning raving reviews from fans and critics alike. Since the original, a sequel was made with the third, John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum coming out later this year, with a spin-off TV series also reportedly in the works. 

News recently broke that Reeves also turned down a role in Captain Marvel due to scheduling conflict with John Wick.

While other actors are clambering desperately for a role in one of the Marvel Universe’s successful franchises, Reeves turned down the role of Yon-Rogg, the alient mentor of Brie Larson’s character, according to comic-lover Charles Murphy on The Hashtag Show podcast. Consequently, Jude Law was then cast in the position so Reeves could reprise his role as the now infamous dog-loving assassin.

Reeves has played a number of superheroes in his lifetime. In 2005, Reeves starred in the film adaptation of DC Universe’s Constantine.

He was also one of the front men to land the roles of Batman and Wolverine – the latter of which he has since expressed interest in reviving.

With both Marvel and Reeves mutually interested in working together, surely it won’t be long until their desires collide and to be quite honest, we are all for it.

We’re calling it. 2019 is the year of Keanu Reeves

source

Thanks to  Keanuital‏ @Keanuital for finding and sharing!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 5x04: Analysis

Good morning everyone! So here is my analysis of FTWD 5x04: Skidmark. Buckle up because I’m about to get very long-winded! There are actually some great parallels in this episode. We didn't see any John or June in this episode, or any Althea. We did see a lot of Strand, Daniel, Luciana, Morgan, Alicia, and the kids.

I’m gonna warn you that I’m about to throw a lot of conjecture at you. I’m just seeing a lot of possibilities in these sequences and it gets my brain pumping.

Synopsis:

The crux of this is that youngest boy, Dylan, sent Morgan and Alicia looking for a phantom camp. He lied about its location. Then he secretly radioed his siblings, Max and Annie. While talking with them, he heard them get into trouble. In the end, we find out there's actually quite a few kids in this area. They’re the children of the people Morgan and Grace (the woman cleaning up fallout from nuclear plants) disposed of. I knew there had to be more than just these three kids setting up walkers. I was right about that. While we still don't know all the details or these kids’ complete back story, we have a better idea now.

Annie and Max saw and hid from a person wearing the same Darth Vader-like helmet and black uniform as the people who took Al. We can also confirm now that they’re the same group who took Rick and Jadis because while with the kids, Morgan and Alicia saw the same helicopter, complete with the three circles symbol on the side. The kids said that group had arrived in that helicopter some time ago, and are now leaving in it. The next question is, did Al leave with them? We won’t find out until next week.

In terms of Daniel and Strand, Charlie helped Daniel come around to sort of forgiving Strand, and allowing them to have the airplane. In the end Daniel left, saying he had other business to attend to. We don't know what that business is. I’m assuming we’ll get that information eventually. He seems to be leaving the group for now, though. Meanwhile, Strand used the plane, specifically the propellers, to save Daniel. He attracted the walkers into the turning propellers and pulverized them. (Ew.)

Daniel Stuff:

Charlie tries to hide from Daniel, but gets into he back of his black SUV and ends up stowing away there when he leaves.

I didn’t think much of this on first watch, but re-watching, something occurred to me. He got this SUV at the first store we saw him at. One reminiscent of the Big Spot. That may be significant. 

Then, when Charlie gets in, she uses hatchback door at the rear of the car to enter. It also occurred to me that this wasn’t the most logical place for her to hide. Car doors make noise when you open and close them, and there were about a hundred more convenient places she could have ducked into. To some extent, it’s obviously a plot device because they needed her to go with Daniel in this episode. But it also occurs to me that Charlie sort of accidentally ended up in the back of a car and was taken away (like Beth was to Grady). She later returned to help save both Daniel and her group. Just saying.

We had two different instances (another two) of Daniel trying to get guns and other supplies from a store. The first is in the opening sequence This story reminds me a LOT of the Big Spot in 4x01, and I think that’s purposeful. When Daniel loads his haul into the back of the black SUV, we see a blue cooler (remember @frangipanilove’s posts on coolers) in his cart. 

When he goes to the second market later with Charlie, there’s an “ICE” machine outside.

During this second excursion, when Charlie helped Daniel try to get the gun out of the store Charlie mentions peaches and artichoke hearts. I already had some idea what I thought this meant, but I looked up artichoke heart symbolism just to be sure.

Remember I’ve said that peaches usually represents weakness, or the bare minimum needed to survive, rather than the best. Obviously, this caught my attention because we saw peach schnapps with Beth. The symbolism holds there. Daryl said peach schnapps was a terrible drink, and it was very weak. He wanted Beth not only to have something better as her first drink, but something significantly stronger. So peaches = something weak or “the only thing left.” Rather than doing the easy thing (letting her just drink the peach schnapps) Daryl smashed it on the floor and insisted on going to find something better, which took more work and determination.

So the fact that Charlie mentioned peaches in article artichoke hearts, as though it were a range of something, struck me. She also mentions that no one usually takes artichoke hearts (path less travelled perhaps?) so they're always there.

Sure enough, it turns out artichoke hearts represent hope for a prosperous future. Especially because the core of the artichoke is a heart, it can also represent love and success in relationships. Just kind of an interesting symbol to juxtapose with peaches. I can't help but remember when Morales showed up in S8 and sarcastically called Rick “peaches.” You can see that it's a bitter symbol in TWD. One that doesn't inspire much love or kindness. But artichoke hearts are the opposite.

Granted, the symbol I think was mostly about Daniel. Him taking artichoke hearts rather than the peaches suggests him finally forgiving Strand and becoming a functional part of the group again. But it does back up other symbolism we've seen around Beth.

Charlie also mentions using music to distract walkers. Of course anything musical we tie to Beth, but this is also reminiscent of using music at the Big Spot to distract walkers in 4x01.

Essentially, Daniel was already doing this. He like to put a bell on his cat, Skidmark, to distract walkers. The jingle of the bell (music) is what distracted them. Later in the episode, we also see him actually take a boombox and lead walkers away. So the music was a big theme here.

When trying to get the gun with Charlie, the gun suddenly goes off, shooting through the window and freeing the walkers. Two important things here: I had to watch a few times, and the gun went off simply because the walkers ran into it and when they nudged it, it started firing. 

That’s exactly what happened in 7x12. One of the walkers walked into a gun and it started firing at Rick and Michonne. If you remember, this sequence in 7x12 was highly reminiscent of Alone, what with Michonne being in the trunk and all. And of course it’s where we saw the foreshadow of Rick's death fake out.

The second major thing here is that I noticed on the shelf in the background is, among other things (like peanut butter) a box of Frosted Flakes. So we can tie that to Frosty Cola, which we’ve seen several times around Beth. So here’s where this gets interesting. We have all the cooler/ice/frosted flakes stuff in locations that are reminiscent of the Big Spot from S4. We also have something reminiscent of 7x12, which foreshadowed Rick’s death fake out. AND we have a gun going off by accident and shooting the Frosted Flakes. If “frosty” = Dogstar symbolism = Beth, then this feels like a symbol of her being shot.

Not to mention, when the walkers get free and Daniel and Charlie run to the car, he calls his cat, Skidmark (you know the one who was making the music with the bell?) and it comes running and jumps into the car. Daniel says something about how one of these days he’s going to end up leaving Skidmark behind. 

So yeah, pretty on the nose. All the frosty/cooler stuff, gun going off, and mention of leaving someone behind.

Which leads me to all the resurrection symbolism in this episode. The 7x12 stuff makes me think they might be foreshadowing another death fake out. And yet, it’s different than 7x12. We didn’t see any deer and we didn’t see any minor fake outs, like we did with Rick and the yellow ride car in 7x12. So it’s almost like it’s trying to remind us of the resurrection symbolism without actually being a foreshadow itself. Given that we saw the helicopter that took Rick away at the end of this episode, perhaps that makes sense. Maybe it shows that we’re about to see a fulfillment of sorts of this, by learning where Rick went and what he might be up to.

Then there’s the cat itself. Again, I don't think I've mentioned this before, but some of us theorists have talked about how many times we’ve seen cats in the show. I think @frangipalove may do a more detailed post on this, but the short of it is that we think cats represent resurrection. It's the whole cats-having-nine-lives idea. In other words, if we see cats around a character, chances are they're gonna die many times and come back. Daniel is the perfect example of that. They’ve done at least three or four major death fake outs for him already. I think the viewers are used to it and know that short of seeing him turn into a walker or get his head chopped off, the dude simply isn't gonna die. Not for real, anyway. Seeing the cat around Daniel represents his many lives. We also saw cats around Jadis (the painting of the blue cat and the wire cat Rick took for Michonne). 

Both of those represent Rick and Jadis’s death fake out because they both left in the helicopter. In this episode we saw the same helicopter. So, you see the connections there.

While we didn't specifically see cats around Beth, we hear one mentioned around Daryl in 4B. Remember, Joe Claimer said the thing about cats being vicious creatures and there was nothing sadder than an outdoor cat who thought he was an indoor cat.

That got me thinking about how these symbols connect. While Daryl hasn’t left the show and returned as Daniel has, he’s definitely a survivor, as Daniel is. He’s been in plenty of situations he probably shouldn’t have survived but got out of. The major difference is that we saw him escape, while they don’t always show us how Daniel escapes.

See, the thing is, I’ve always equated Daniel with Beth because of all the death fake outs. But because of the cats, I’m now realizing that Daniel is much more of a symbol for Daryl. I’ll come back to this in a minute because there’s more evidence of it in this episode.

I also think it's interesting that they don't use the cat symbolism for Beth, but rather the dog/Sirius symbolism. While the themes between the two are similar (both resurrection) they are subtly different. Think of it this way. We saw cats around Daniel and Rick/Jadis, but they didn’t try particularly hard to make the audience think either one died. Most people assumed Daniel would return and they went out of their way to show us that Rick survived. With Beth/Sirius symbolism, she completely left the show for a long time with a subtle, symbolic promise of return that most of the audience didn’t even pick up on. So again, subtle differences. Nine lives vs. completely leaving to return later.

This is another possibility that occurred to me upon re-watching, but at this point it’s just conjecture. I’ve said many times that I hope Dwight helps bring Beth back to Daryl in some way. Thematically, I love that idea because if it plays out that way, it will mean that Daryl showing mercy to Dwight is what brought Beth back to him. If he had killed Dwight, it might not have happened. I saw a similar theme to that in this episode. 

By letting Charlie go to save Strand and the others at the warehouse, which Daniel did NOT want to do because he hates Strand, that allowed Strand to come back and save him. So if he’d just gone to the warehouse (where the walls were down) he and the others would most likely have died or at least found themselves running from a herd of walkers. But Daniel’s mercy, despite his hatred of this other person, is what ultimately saved him. 

I’m sure that’s a show-wide theme and we could find it other places if we looked, but it just reminded me of my thoughts on the Dwight and Daryl situation.

The songs Daniel listens to have some interesting things in them. I’m not going to post the full lyrics here, but the song we hear at the beginning is by Son’s House and is called Death Letter Blues. Some of its more interesting lines say things like, “The gal you love is dead,” “You gotta lay here until judgement day,” and “I didn’t know that I loved her until they laid her down.” Sounds like Beth and Daryl to me. We actually heard this song twice. Once in the opening sequence with Daniel and then later in the car when Charlie is with him.

We also hear part of a song called The Sunnyland by Doctor Ross. We only hear a snippet of this one, as far as I can tell, so I’m thinking it’s more thematic than anything else. “Doctor” and “sun” are both Beth symbols. Then later in the show, we hear a snippet of another song that the show doesn’t identify, and I’ve typed the lyrics into Google and can’t find it either. All it says is that it’s a blues song. We hear it when Daniels is leading the walker herd with the boombox. It says, “Yeah, I’m going to the river, walk it up and down. I’m going to find my woman.” I’ll come back to why I think this is important.

There's a shot on the highway when Strand shows up with the plane to save Daniel, who's trapped under Al's black van. When we see an aerial shot, I noticed the black and white theme with the plane being white and the truck being black. That’s what really helped me put the symbolism in this episode together.

The guns on Al's van wouldn't fire. They were broken. And if we want to get really deep into the symbolism, the black in the black and white theme represents Daryl, and this could symbolize him being broken after losing Beth. Then Strand shows up to save the day using the airplane propellers. First of all, the airplane represents Sirius symbolism, as I said earlier. So, it represents Beth RETURNING to save Daryl.

Which brings me back to Daniel. As I said above, I've always equated him with Beth because of all the times he's should've died and survived. But between the two, it's becoming more and more obvious to me that Daniel represents Daryl, not Beth. Not only do we have him equated with the black truck here, but we have a situation where he closed off his heart after losing the "girl he loved.” In Daniel's case, the girl refers to his daughter, Ophelia. In Daryl’s case, it obviously refers to Beth. And remember we had cats mentioned around both of them. So Daniel = Daryl. Which makes me wonder where Daniel is going and where his story line will lead. Very intriguing, but I have a feeling we won’t find out for a while what Daniel is up to.

Near the end of Daniel’s story, Strand admits to the others that he told Daniel he knew where Ophelia was, but lied because he needed something from Daniel. (This was in S3). By the time Daniel got to her, it was too late. Obviously we can parallel this with Beth and Daryl. Then Daniel says that he couldn’t tell Ophelia what he wanted her to know.

Later, Charlie asks him what he mean to tell her but never got to. Daniel says he wanted to tell her that “everyday brings a chance to start over; a chance to get it right.”

Guys, that is SO significant. First off, remember that in 5x02, when Daryl was basically trying to convince Carol to stay with the group, he says, “We get to start over with each other.” At that point, he was still being super hopeful and confident about finding Beth. In other words, we could infer that his time with her is what taught him this.

But in general, what Daniel is saying here is about faith and hope for the future. Which is exactly what Beth helped Daryl believe in. So if we applied this line to Beth and Daryl (again, Ophelia is Daniel’s daughter, and she’s the girl he lost, but the situation parallels to Beth and Daryl with Beth being the girl Daryl lost) then it means Daryl wanted to tell Beth that she gave him hope and faith and helped him believe in optimism. But he never got to tell her that before he lost her. 

Meanwhile, during this part where Daniel leads the walkers with the boom box and talks to Strand, we hear the song I mentioned earlier that says, “Yeah I’m going to the river. Gonna walk it up and down. I’m going to find my woman…”

And Daniel says there’s a reason he’s been at the warehouse alone all this time and he needs to go take care of it. That’s why he leaves. I don’t think he’s literally going to find Ophelia. (She really was bitten and is dead.) But he’s going to do something that will help him put Ophelia to rest, along with his demons. So once again, if we also apply this to the situation it symbolizes (Beth and Daryl) perhaps it shows that Daryl will soon go to “the river” (water = Beth) to find the woman he once lost too.

I noticed that Sarah referred to Daniel’s plane as a bear. She said something about getting "this bear in the air.” Of course, bears are part of the bear/polar bear symbolism we've seen throughout FTWD. And any bear symbolism is part of the Sirious/Dogstar symbolism.

It's also important that it was said about the plane. I don't know if I've specifically mentioned this in my posts, but @wdway, @frangipanilove and I have discussed that we think the plane symbol is simply an extension of helicopter symbolism. You know, both flying machines. That's important given that the group that took away Jadis and Rick (and who we saw again in this episode; more on that in a minute) use a helicopter.

And Sarah actually says this two different times. Two things about that. In terms of the symbolism itself, @frangipanilove pointed out that there are two bear constellations (literally two bears in the air): Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, one of which includes the North Star. So really obvious Sirius/return symbolism. Secondly, I did notice that many things happened in twos in this episode. I half wonder if that’s to show things (or certain blonds?) coming around for the second time.

At one point, Sarah tells Daniel she put a 36-foot hole in his fence to get the plane out. I wondered if we could relate that to 18-Miles Out somehow. (36/2 =18) but I wasn’t sure what to do with it, exactly. @wdway helped me out with this. TWD series episode number 36 is 4x01. You know, the one with the Big Spot and the Bethyl hug. Given all the other symbols in this episode, that makes perfect sense.

Dylan Stuff:

We saw the book, The Little Prince, around Dylan a lot. I’m going to look into this more and give it its own post, but I know this is significant. I know I looked into it briefly when we first saw the book in an earlier season, and didn’t find much. But I read through the synopsis again and some things are jumping out at me. On first look, it seems that Dylan should be the Little Prince. And maybe he is. (Again, I need to look into it more deeply.) But I think there’s deeper meaning than simply that as well.

Something awesome that @wdway picked up: behind Dylan at the truck stop, we see a little yellow toy truck. 

This is the EXACT same thing we saw in 8x02 when Rick found Gracie in the Saviors’ compound. 

You know, the scene with the Beth’s blue heron painting in it? If that’s not proof that these symbols link back to Beth (and Rick; death fake outs in general) I don’t know what is. I also noticed a pair of blue scissors on the table behind Dylan as well. Not to mention, it’s the same kind of car Charlie climbs into in this episode, except that it’s yellow, a Beth color!

Another interesting symbol: when Dylan secretly radios Annie and Max, he uses the phrase ‘olly, olly oxen free.’ If you look up what this means, it’s a phrase from children’s games that indicates it’s safe for players to reveal themselves without penalty, because the rules of the game have changed. So it makes sense given that the children end up trusting Morgan’s group a bit more by the end, but I still think there may be more symbolism in it than that. I’m just not sure what.

At the end, Strand says that his stunt with the walkers and the propellers damaged the plane’s engines beyond repair. I wasn’t sure what to make of that at first, because if plane = Beth, then what would this mean? But then Dylan asks Luciana what happens to the guy in the book who crashed his plane. She says he figures out how to repair his plane, fixes it, and flies home again. Dylan insists they can do the same thing. 

That’s the end of the episode and nothing else is said, but the implication there is that, somehow, they’ll find a way to fix the plane. It’s classic foreshadowing.

And I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. It was assumed that Beth, because of her head injury, was damaged beyond repair. But somehow, she’ll be “fixed” and return home. Remember, home is where her family is. I also can’t help but remember that Daryl “fixed” the music box in 5x10. So this idea makes me super happy.

In fact, seeing it in that light, this entire 5a season of Fear is one great big retelling or symbol of Beth’s arc. The plane crashing represents her being shot. And then we have Al, who disappeared, taken by a strange, shadowy group, and the rest of her family looking for her. Just saying. ;D

Alone Parallels:

Max and Annie try to put the walkers back up across the road when they see one of the people who took Al, killing walkers up the road from them. They quickly hide in the bushes. 

When the person in the dark uniform and helmet leaves, they come out. Just as they do, several walkers get loose and try to get Annie. She isn’t bitten, but gets knocked down and hurts her ankle. 

Her brother, Max helps her up, whole, and they make a run for it, so to speak. Except Annie can't run because her foot is hurt. I immediately saw the parallel to Beth having hurt her foot in 4x13, Alone.

It even shows a gun lying on the ground. So, the parallels to the scene where Beth hurts her ankle are strong here. In both cases, we have a guy and a gal (Beth and Daryl/Max and Annie) hiding in the bushes. Then there's an encounter with a walker in which the gal hurts her ankle, and the guy helps her up. The fact that they even showed the gun prominently on the ground is important because during Beth’s encounter with the walker, she’s after its gun, and carries the gun thereafter.

This is something TD has talked about a lot because the gun went missing at Grady. We never saw what happened to it, and it’s strange that they put so much emphasis on it, only to not show us what happened to it. Here, in FTWD, Annie drops her gun and they don't retrieve it. So, we have another lost gun, just like Beth's.

These parallels increase as the story goes along. Annie and Max can't run and we get to a point where the walkers catch up to them and they're about to be eaten. It's then that Morgan (once again, MORGAN!) and Alicia show up to save the day. 

They take care of the walkers and save the kids. Then the rest of the kids appear. About a dozen. From the way Max and the other kids look to Annie for decisions, such as whether or not to trust Morgan, Annie is the leader of this group. So ,we have a blonde, female leader, who hurt her leg here in a very similar fashion to Beth. Coincidence? I'm thinking no.

Remember that in episode 1 when the kids first showed up, with Annie driving the van, I said the shot looked very similar to when Ty’s hallucination of Beth drove the van in 5x09? Well, in this episode, Annie officially became a proxy of Beth.

So let’s recap. A blond, female leader (Annie) who is juxtaposed with this black, helicopter group who took Rick and Jadis. (Should we be equating the black they wear with the black/white theme as well, perhaps? If so, it may show that Beth will save people from this black group. Rick? Jadis? Daryl? Just throwing some ideas out here.) In this episode, that blond girl hurt her leg and lost a gun, in a major Alone parallel.

Meanwhile, we saw a representation of the Big Spot (4x01) and leading walkers away with MUSIC. And then of Beth returning (plane/Sirius symbolism) to save Daryl (Daniel/black color symbolism).

What does it mean? Well, I’m hoping it means that something about these kids (Child/Baby symbolism around Beth, perhaps?) and this helicopter group will lead to Beth returning to save Daryl. 

Remember that after TWD 9x14 aired (the really dark episode where Michonne had to kill those kids to save Judith) I said I thought it might be a foil sort of thing for Beth. Like maybe she’d return with a group of warrior children? I’m wondering if this could lead to a fulfillment of that. Granted, these kids are a bit older than the ones in 9x14. More like teens/young adults. But still. With these parallels, I think it could be a thing. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Random Details:

Let me first say that, in terms of details—coolers, red and green colors on cans, etc—I noticed relevant details in nearly every shot. I’ve mentioned the most relevant ones, but didn’t bother trying to hit them all.

Daniel uses channel 8 on the walkie-talkie to communicate with Strand. This caught my attention mostly because of the 8 behind Beth in 5x09, which I think means she’ll return eight years later. We also heard channel 9 mentioned. This is the channel Dylan, Max and Annie used to communicate secretly with each other.

Super-random symbol I’m not sure what to do with: We saw a tin several times that Daniel had in his possession that said ‘abanicos’ on it. That word means ‘fans’ when translated. Like the kind of fans that keep you cool in the heat. Not sure what that means or why the camera kept focusing on it. Maybe it’s part of Daniel’s story line and we’ll get more on it later. I noticed he did take it with him when he left. But if anyone can shed any insight on it, please do!

Morgan talked to Alicia about his wife Jenny and Duane. I thought it was interesting to hear him talk about his family, as he hasn't for a long time. I also noticed that he said, "She was Jenny. He's Duane.” He spoke about Duane in the present tense rather than the past. I'm assuming that's because he didn't put Duane down as a walker. He thinks of Duane as still being alive and walking around, even if he's turned.

But I also think there must be a specific reason they mentioned this. I know there have been some theories in the fandom about Duane not being dead. Personally, I don't think that's the case. They made such a big deal in Clear about Duane having turned, I really don't think he's alive. It's too on the nose to be a fake out. But the fact remains that we haven't seen Duane's body so we can't be sure yet.

If I were to guess, I'd say that at some point Morgan will have to return, find Duane, and put him down in order to truly put his demons to rest. This might be hinting at that. But it also shows a parallel between Daryl and Morgan. Because one of our biggest theories is that Beth was not put down either, which was one of the reasons she survived. This might be evidence that this might be evidence of that theory, by extension. Even though it's talking about Duane, it would apply to Beth as well. It would also help explain why Morgan will be so entangled in Beth's return. With these parallels, it makes sense that he would be involved somehow.

That's all I have for this episode. (It was a lot, I know.) I will say that I'm super excited for next week's episode. It's about Al. We’ll finally find out what happened to her and see things from her point of view after she was knocked over the head.

One thing I noticed watching the trailer is we don't actually see anyone other than her. She's talking to someone—I'm assuming the person in the helmet who hit her over the head—but we don't actually see this person's face. I'm not sure if what the reason for that is, and no, I'm not necessarily saying that I think it will be Beth. 

(Although, I do want to throw out that I think the person Annie and Max saw killing walkers might be a woman. If you look at this pic, 

the person in the black helmet is killing a female walker and is about the same height as that walker. Granted, that doesn’t prove anything. Could be a short man or a tall female walker, but it just occurred to me that there’s a good chance this person is a woman.) 

 I just think it's interesting that there being so mysterious about this group and who is wearing the helmet. Obviously would be great if it was Beth, but I don't necessarily think it will be. On the other hand, it might be interesting if we see Jadis again or something. Like I said, I'm excited for next week.

What did everyone think of this week's episode?

[edwincourtenay]

Our last workshop of the year! SIRIUS! Exploring the myths, Gods, Angels, legends and powers of this ancient star this workshop incorporates powerful journey meditations, live trance channelling and exercises empowering and awakening all those attend to Sirius’s unique magic! For more information and to book hit my website link - in bio - and click Zoom Workshops! It’s going to be ... magical! #sirius #dogstar #ascension #magik #stgermain #egypt #starbeing #dogstar #zoomworkshop #channelling #edwincourtenay https://www.instagram.com/p/CIeeD_8BA0E/?igshid=14rbh0etjels1

[pet4food]

Top 10 Best Senior Dog Natural Food review 2020 | Pet food

As your dog’s muzzle begins to turn grey, you might find yourself asking… what’s the best dog food for a senior? we’ll share The Pet food Top 10 Best Senior Dog natural Foods review 2020 and we’ll answer the 8 most frequently asked questions about feeding older dogs. The exceptional senior recipes listed below were chosen by our editorial research team because they contain above-average protein, moderate fat, below-average calories… and no high-risk preservatives or generic meats… which makes them ideal for older dogs.

10. Wellness Core Senior Dog Natural Food

Here are The Dog Food Advisor’s top 10 best senior dog food brands for January 2020. Wellness Core Senior derives the lion’s share of its meat protein from fresh turkey and chicken meal. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 36% protein, 13% fat and 43% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 38%. Core Senior is a grain-free formula boasting lots of omega-rich salmon oil, glucosamine and chondroitin for joint health… with optimal calories for weight control. A premium recipe for older dogs. Highly recommended.

Wellness Core If you’re searching for a low-calorie, balanced diet that’s ideal for an older dog, look no further than Wellness Core Senior. It’s one of 12 dry recipes included in our review of the Wellness Core product line. Grain-Free: 100% Grain Free, Complete And Balanced Everyday Nutrition For Your DogSenior Formula: Naturally Grain Free, Rich With Delicious Premium Proteins Including Turkey And Chicken Combined With Real Vegetables And Essential Vitamins And MineralsAll Natural: Contains Only Premium, All Natural Ingredients With No Wheat, Corn, Soy, Meat By-Products, Or Artificial Colors, Flavors And PreservativesMade In USA: Backed By The Wellness Guarantee And Proudly Made Only In The USA

9. Orijen Senior Dog Natural Food

Looking for a grain-free formula that’s dominated with animal protein? Then, this dog food deserves serious attention. Orijen Senior is one of 8 dry recipes included in our review of the Orijen product line. Orijen Senior takes the greatest share of its meat protein from fresh chicken, turkey and fish. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 43% protein, 17% fat and 32% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 39%. From its beginnings, Champion Petfoods, the legendary maker of Orijen, has always advocated for a meat-based, “biologically appropriate” diet… a proven design which makes this food a top choice for seniors. Highly recommended.

Orijen ORIJEN Senior dog food delivers a diet rich and varied in fresh, whole animal ingredients from free-run chicken and turkey, wild-caught fish, and cage-free eggsWith 85% quality animal ingredients, ORIJEN nourishes dogs according to their natural, biological needsUsing fresh and raw animal ingredients, including meat, organs, cartilage, and bone, ORIJEN is the Biologically Appropriate, grain-free diet that dogs have evolved to eatOur Fresh Regional Ingredients are supplied by people we know and trust, and are delivered to our kitchen fresh or raw, in their most natural and nourishing formORIJEN dog food is made in our DogStar Kitchen, in Kentucky. For more information, please contact our Customer Care team at

8. Pro Plan Bright Mind Senior Chicken and Rice Dog Natural Food

Cognitive dysfunction syndrome (CDS), a disease similar to Alzheimer’s in humans, is becoming increasingly common in older dogs. For those concerned about this serious health issue, this one-of-a-kind senior formula stands head and shoulders above any other dog food we’ve come across. Pro Plan Bright Mind Adult 7+ is one of 7 dry recipes included in our review of the Purina Pro Plan Bright Mind product line. This Pro Plan senior recipe sources the bulk of its animal protein from fresh chicken and poultry meal. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 33% protein, 16% fat and 43% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 48%. In addition, Bright Mind includes glucosamine and DHA for healthy joints and prebiotic fiber to support digestion. But what really excites us about this recipe is the fact it contains MCT, a fatty-acid supplement derived from coconut oil. Studies have shown that MCT can improve cognitive function (thinking) in older dogs… which makes it a welcome ingredient in this… or any… senior recipe. The thoughtful, scientific design of Pro Plan Bright Mind makes it an ideal choice for many older dogs. Highly recommended.

Pro Plan Bright Mind One (1) 16 lb. Bag - Purina Pro Plan BRIGHT MIND Chicken & Rice Formula Adult 7+ Dry Dog FoodEnhanced botanical oils promote alertness and mental sharpness in senior dog's age 7 and olderContains real chicken as the first ingredientEPA, an omega-3 fatty acid, and glucosamine support joint health and mobilityVitamin A and linoleic acid nourish your dog's skin and coat

7. Go! Carnivore Senior Formula Dog Natural Food

With every one of its first 5 ingredients sourced from animal protein, Go! Senior makes a rare and extraordinary grain-free option for older pets. It’s one of 5 dry recipes included in our review of the Go! Solutions Carnivore product line. This Go! Carnivore formula gets the largest part of its meat protein from multiple poultry meals and salmon meal. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 36% protein, 16% fat and 41% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 44%. With no wheat, corn or soy and the addition of glucosamine and chondroitin to support hip and joint health, this GMO-free brand is a solid choice for your senior dog. Enthusiastically recommended.

Go! Carnivore 100% fresh chicken, turkey, trout, duck & salmon and premium quality chicken, turkey, salmon, duck & herring mealsGreen mussels and glucosamine/chondroitin support hip and joint healthProbiotics and prebiotic fiber promote healthy gut bacteria and good digestion plus taurine to aid vision and heart healthCountry Of Origin: United States

6. Nulo Freestyle Grain-Free Senior Dog Natural Food

Older dogs can benefit significantly from L-carnitine and the other special anti-aging ingredients found in Nulo Freestyle Senior. The product is one of 8 dry recipes included in our review of the Nulo Freestyle product line. Freestyle Senior sources the bulk of its animal protein from fresh trout as well as turkey and salmon meals. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 33% protein, 13% fat and 45% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 40%. The formula also includes L-carnitine for improved weight control as well as glucosamine and chondroitin for healthy joints… making this recipe a great option for senior dogs. Highly recommended.

Nulo Freestyle GRAIN-FREE recipe contains no corn; wheat; soy; white potatoes; tapioca; artificial colors, flavorings or preservatives. Proudly made in the USA.HIGH MEAT/LOW CARB proprietary formula 80% animal-based protein for more amino acids and better flavor using fewer carbs and low glycemic ingredientsNulo Sr Dry Dog Food more closely resembles your dog’s ancestral diet than grain-based carbohydrate formulas. MAY REDUCE food sensitivities or allergies.JOINT SUPPORT for dogs with Glucosamine and Chondroitin. These anti-inflammatory properties promote joint flexibility and pain relief.PATENTED BC30 PROBIOTIC supports healthy gut flora, aids in food digestion and metabolism regulation. Promotes healthy weight and stamina with L-Carnitine.

5. Iams ProActive Health Mature Adult Dog Natural Food

For those who value a simple, grain-inclusive formula that contains no plant-based protein boosters, Iams ProActive Health Mature Adult makes an excellent choice for older dogs. This classic senior diet is one of 15 dry recipes included in our review of the Iams ProActive Health product line. Iams Mature Adult derives the bulk of its meat protein from fresh chicken. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 27% protein, 12% fat and 54% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 44%. ProActive Health is a time-proven, grain-inclusive brand offering several different senior recipes. Each includes L-carnitine to help your pet burn fat… which makes it easier to keep your older dog at a healthy weight. Highly recommended.

Iams Contains one (1) 29.1 pound bag of IAMS Proactive health mature adult dry dog food chickenVeterinarians recommend IAMSOur 1st ingredient is real chickensupports strong immune system with antioxidantsMaintains bone health and joint care with a balance of key nutrients for your senior dogMaintains healthy digestion with a blend of fiber and prebiotics for senior dogsSpecially formulated to fit your mature dog’s specific wellness and nutritional needs

4. Victor Senior Healthy Weight Dog Natural Food

Fortified with multiple antioxidants and an effective fat-burning supplement, Victor Senior makes a great option for an older dog. It’s one of 6 dry recipes included in our review of the Victor Purpose product line. Victor Senior Healthy Weight derives the dominant portion of its animal protein from a beef meal. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 30% protein, 13% fat and 50% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 43%. This low-cost, reduced-calorie formula is also enhanced with L-carnitine for effective weight control as well as glucosamine and chondroitin to support healthy joints. A balanced, budget-friendly option that’s ideal for your aging pet. Highly recommended.

Victor The nutrient-dense recipe made with premium-quality beef, chicken, pork and fish mealsIdeal for older dogs that are less active, and adult dogs that need to reduce overall weightGlucosamine and Chondroitin promote long-term joint healthFormulated with our scientifically advanced, proven VICTOR Core ingredients to promote healthy immune and digestive systemsIdeal for dogs with allergies to other meat proteins. Made from gluten-free grains

3. Halo Holistic Senior Chicken Recipe Dog Natural Food

Missing teeth and other dental problems can make chewing painful for older dogs. The moisture-rich, stew consistency of Halo Senior can bring nutritious, welcome relief to an aging pet. It’s one of 8 wet recipes included in our review of the Halo Canned Dog Food product line. This Halo Senior canned formula receives most of its meat protein from fresh chicken. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 39% protein, 21% fat and 33% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 53%. With plenty of salmon oil for better joint health and costly chelated minerals for superior nutrition, this Halo recipe offers an easy-to-chew, easy-to-digest option for your senior dog… especially those with a history of tooth loss or chewing problems. Highly recommended.

Halo Holistic Compare: whole chicken, never any Rendered "meat meal," like "chicken meal" Or "fish meal"Highly digestible wet dog Food; provides the nutritional needs for senior dogsSenior dog food made with whole chicken, oat bran, and non-GMO vegetablesLife stage recipe with high quality protein to support lean body mass, reduced calories and higher in fiber compared to other Halo Adult recipes for less active senior dogs; added DHA to support cognitive function and Chondroitin/Glucosamine for joint supportNon-gmo vegetables, no artificial colors or flavors, no preservatives of any kind, BPA free cans

2. Diamond Chicken, Egg and Oatmeal Dog Natural Food

Boasting an optimal balance of protein, fat and micro-nutrients, Diamond Senior makes an exceptional, low-cost option for older dogs. It’s one of 13 dry recipes included in our review of the Diamond Naturals product line. This Diamond Senior formula sources the major portion of its meat protein from fresh chicken and chicken meal. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 28% protein, 12% fat and 52% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 44%. With glucosamine and chondroitin for healthy joints as well as L-carnitine for weight control, this makes an affordable option from a safety-conscious company.

Diamond Only quality ingredients used in our productsMade in the USAHealth source of vitamins, proteins, fats, and carbsNo soy

1. Canidae Grain-Free Pure Dog Natural Food

It’s not uncommon for an older dog to suffer from a sensitive stomach. So, for some, a limited ingredient diet like Canidae Grain-Free Pure can offer a great solution. It’s one of 11 dry recipes included in our review of the Canidae Grain-Free Pure product line. Canidae Pure Senior acquires the dominant share of its animal protein from the fresh chicken as well as poultry meals. Our dry matter label analysis reveals the recipe contains 31% protein, 11% fat and 50% estimated carbs… with a fat-to-protein ratio of about 36%.Although suitable for all seniors, Canidae Grain-Free Pure was specially formulated for dogs with food sensitivities. Because it’s a limited ingredient design, this particular diet is free of many common canine allergens… like corn, wheat, soy or grains. Highly recommended.

Canidae First 5 ingredients: Chicken, chicken meal, turkey meal, sweet potatoes, garbanzo beansType: Grain-freeCalories: 409 kcal per cupPrice: $$ 10 INGREDIENTS or LESS: Limited ingredients crafted from 7-10 real foods in each bag of dog food, giving your good boys and girls everything they need and nothing they don’t.GRAIN FREE FOR DOGS WITH SENSITIVE STOMACHS: There’s nothing questionable in a bowl of Canidae PURE. Never any wheat, corn, or soy.HEALTHPLUS IN EVERY BITE: Probiotics added to every kibble after cooking to support healthy digestion, antioxidants to support a healthy immune system, and omega 6 & 3 fatty acids to support beautiful skin and coat.FLAVORS & TYPES: With 6 different proteins (Salmon, Lamb, Duck, Boar, Bison Chicken), and formulations for all life stages and sizes (Puppy, Adult, Senior, Small Breed), there’s a Canidae PURE product your dog will love.WE MAKE PET FOOD SIMPLE: Canidae PURE Limited Ingredient Diet dog food uses simple, whole-food recipes made right here in our Texas facility. Because pet food shouldn’t be complicated. First 5 ingredients: Chicken, chicken meal, turkey meal, sweet potatoes, garbanzo beansType: Grain-freeCalories: 409 kcal per cupPrice: $$

The 8 Most Frequently Asked Questions About Feeding Senior Dogs

When is a dog considered a senior?How old is my dog in human years?Do older dogs need more protein… or less?Should all older dogs eat senior food?What’s the #1 cause of food-related illness in seniors?How much food should I feed my senior dog?How do I determine my dog’s ideal weight?What can I do to satisfy my picky eater? When is a dog considered a senior? Not all dogs get grey hair around their muzzles. In fact, many are as playful as a puppy for their entire lives. You may have noticed that small dogs seem to age more slowly than large dogs. It’s true. A small dog can live to be as old as 20 years. But a large dog can reach maturity much sooner. So, how do you know when your dog has entered her golden years? According to the American Veterinary Medical Association… Of course, all dogs are different. A healthy diet, regular exercise and good dental care can help extend your dog’s middle-age phase. How old is my dog in human years? Larger dog's age at a faster rate than smaller dogs. So, use the American Kennel Club chart below to discover your dog’s age in human years. Do older dogs need more protein… or less? Despite what you may have heard… An older dog needs more protein in her diet than a younger dog. That’s because (like humans), seniors need to replace wasting muscle mass as they age. What’s more… A dog food rich in meat-based protein will not strain a healthy, older dog’s kidneys. However, if your dog has already been diagnosed with kidney disease, be sure to ask your vet about prescribing an appropriate diet. Although adult dog foods can legally contain as little as 18%, all our recommended senior brands above contain at least 27% protein. Should all older dogs eat senior food? No. In most cases, that’s not necessary. In fact, if your older dog is healthy and eating a quality, balanced diet, there’s no reason to switch to senior dog food. Just be sure the food you’re currently feeding contains an above-average amount of meat-based protein and moderate calories. What’s the #1 cause of food-related illness in seniors? Although obesity contributes to health issues in dogs of all ages, it can lead to chronic disease and premature death in seniors. Extra weight means your dog’s joints have to work harder… and they may already be inflamed from arthritis, hip dysplasia or a luxated knee cap. Unfortunately, dogs are naturally more prone to obesity as they age. According to the National Research Council of the National Academy of Science… So, low-calorie food can help your dog lose or maintain her weight without feeling hungry all the time. How much food should I feed my senior dog? Since every animal is unique… It’s impossible to predict the exact serving size that’s “perfect” for each dog… and each brand. So, start with the package’s feeding instructions… or the amount suggested by our dog food calculator. If you use the calculator, be sure to use the “senior” setting to estimate an appropriate serving size for your older dog. Either method will work because you’re using it only as a starting point. Then, over time… Adjust that serving size up or down to reach and maintain your dog’s ideal weight. How do I determine my dog’s ideal weight? Keeping your senior at an ideal weight can help you significantly extend your pet’s life. A 14-year landmark study found that… That’s nearly 2 extra years of life… Just for keeping your dog close to her ideal weight based on her Body Condition Score. This process is explained in the following short video. Remember, every dog is different. If you’re feeding the recommended amount, but your dog is not losing weight (or if she’s always hungry), you may need to make some adjustments. Talk to your vet if you’re unsure of your dog’s ideal weight and body condition. What can I do to satisfy my picky eater? One way to enhance your dog’s appetite is to add tasty “toppers” to her food. Mixing a few tablespoons of a quality canned food to your dog’s kibble can help. Fresh, raw or cooked chicken or beef can also get your dog to drool over their meals again. Eggs are another popular appetizer… scrambled or boiled with no salt, oil or seasonings, of course. Toppers can safely make up about 10-20% of your dog’s diet. You’ll need to be mindful of added calories and nutrients. Read the full article

[twinflamegirl]

The 3 pyramids in Giza are fully aligned today with Sirius & the great central sun, and the Lion’s gate portal is at its peak (8-8) creating a powerful energetic gateway. Combined with the energy of yesterday’s full moon, everything is magnified & intensified. As this portal peaks, it opens gateways to other dimensions and allows for the free flow of energy and information; it aligns us with Christ consciousness and higher knowledge so be prepared to come to some full-on realisations over the next few weeks in addition to purging and releasing anything that is not destined to be carried into your future. This is the tipping-point of major life changes. Hold onto your seatbelts cos this is gonna be huge! • ©TwinFlameGirl-2017 • #twinflamegirl #lunar #lionsgateportal #illustration #foodforthought #sirius #dogstar #giza #pyramids #energyportal #lightworker #starseed #wayshower #spiritual #psychicmedium #psychic #psychiccounsel

[rocket-sith]

Salty asks; 2, 4, 6, 8, 21

Okay you’re getting all these plus #5 because I can’t read for shit and accidentally answered five instead of four when I was looking at which numbers went with which questions.

#2 - Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP? - Anakin/Padme. I really like both characters, and I adore them as friends, but on the smokin' hot romantic chemistry meter, their level is somewhere between sub-arctic and absolute zero. I think there are tons of fascinating things to explore with their different worldviews, their different upbringings, the way their protective streaks come out around each other, etc., but I just feel absolutely nothing for them in the romantic shipping department. 

#4 - Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP? - If NoTP = I get all pissy when other people ship it because I think I’m some sort of divinely appointed fanfic cop, then hell fucking no. If NoTP = a ship that personally annoys me so I avoid it, then...yeah. Guilty. Obi-Wan/Satine just bores the hell out of me. I know it's got basis in canon, and it's fine if it's used as a springboard for Anakin to troll the hell out of Obi-Wan, or it's just mentioned as some shit that happened in the past, or if it shows up in a fic to serve some other narrative purpose, but in and of itself, snoooooore. Satine in general is just boring af, and the only uses I really have for her are as a plot device or a character foil for characters I actually care about.* (Gotta say though, the "collection of half-truths and hyperbole known as Obi-Wan Kenobi" line was pure gold. Gotta give credit where it's due.)

*If anyone is gonna try and send anon wank turning this into a feminist or an “stfu obikin jerkface!” issue, get bent. There are plenty of female SW characters I totally dig - Leia is a goddess, Ahsoka is an unmitigated badass, Padme kicks all sorts of booty in all sorts of ways. My issue with Satine is that she's boring, not that she's female and/or hogging Obi-Wan's coc...*ahem*...lightsaber away from Anakin.

#5 - Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you? - Not the SW fandom, but the Potter fandom really made me start disliking Remus/Sirius. NOT because I didn't love the pairing, and definitely not because a bunch of antis wanted to whine about it (we really didn't have the aggressively virulent brand of tumblr antis back in the LJ days, just the "durrrr, pffffft, ur ship iz teh suxx0r bcuz minez better" tripe), but because I saw it written so so often, so so poorly. Author after author tried to turn them into a couple of gay stereotypes with leather pants and effeminate mannerisms and the whole nine yards as opposed to just staying true to the characters, and alas, they wrecked the Good Ship Dogstar. IDK if that was the case with all slash pairings back in the early/mid 2000s (I kinda got the impression it was since I heard similar complaints from Harry/Draco fans), but it was pretty annoying.

#6 - Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated? - Not really. I've seen some pairings I'm normally just sorta "meh" about written well enough that I enjoyed it, but even then, I was only into it in the context of that story, done by that author. Good characterization and good storytelling are enjoyable even if it's not my OTP, but I've never had a ship that I flat-out hated turn into something I actively sought out. I will say fandom has definitely piqued my interest in Vader/Aphra, but that was never something I hated - I just wasn't aware of who Aphra even was until fandom informed me.

#8 - Have you received anon hate? What about? - LMAO YES YES YES! It feeds my soul, it brings me glee, and it only makes me stronger! Faster! Better! TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL, AND I SEASON MY FOOD WITH THE MOUNTAIN OF SALT EXTRACTED FROM THE FLOWING RIVER OF ANTIS' BITTER TEARS! *ahem* Anyways! Usuuuually the anon hate has been some sort of shipper wank related to Obikin (omg how dare I enjoy things!) and another time it was in response to me saying I thought AO3 had the right idea by refusing to censor "objectionable" content (omg how dare I think other people should be able to enjoy things too!) - Basically, the common trend is whiny little pissbabies taking a dump in my inbox because they're mad at me for saying people should be allowed to tell fictional stories and stuff. (O THE DEPRAVITY!) There was also this one really weird anon who was trying to goad me into flaming someone after some 15-year-old troll started shipper wank, but TBH I never really did understand what that person's goal was other than possibly stirring drama, so I can't say for certain what it was really about in the first place.

#21 - What are your thoughts on crack ships?  -  They're good for a few lulz, but that's about it. I mean, if someone REALLY wants to get excited about Threepio doing the horizontal file transfer with Jar-Jar Binks or whatever, more power to 'em, but that shit ain't my scene. Chances are I'll read the summary, laugh hysterically, and move the fuck on. I do have a soft spot for well done satire though, so if somebody drops a clever joke fic with a crack pairing, I'm all over it. (There was one a while back on AO3 where the pairing was Kylo Ren/Darth Vader's Helmet. Yes, really. Some friends and I did rock/paper/scissors to see who had to read it and report back to the others. I lost. The fic turned out to be really hilarious trollfic/spoofitry, but alas, I can't seem to find it to share with the rest of the class. Yes, I did go look.)

[Want to give me more shit to rant and bitch about and possibly get flamed for? CLICK HERE! Salty Ask List ]

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Catching Feelings 5/? (Keanu x OFC)

Summary: AU in which Keanu is down on his luck after he comes to  Hollywood   trying to be an actor. To earn some money, he joins this app for   escorts and meets Steph, a rising star who hires him to try to forget   her ex. Neither of them are expecting to fall in love and all the   problems it brings.  (Previous parts: 1 2 3 4)

Author’s notes: For the first time in this series a smut free chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it and as always, feedback is appreciated.

Wordcount: 3880

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and inebriation; hangover

Steph bit her thumb as she surveyed the mess of clothes on top of her bed. Her flight was tomorrow night and as usual, she left packing for the last possible minute since she absolutely hated doing it. Especially for long trips because she never knew what to take with her and she would be spending two months in France.

Should she take that new gown in case she had to a gala to attend to? Or that grey pencil skirt in case she gets called to an interview? How many sweaters were enough? Should she take that faux fur coat?

It was her personal nightmare and that was why she recruited Gwen's help, but her friend hadn’t arrived just yet, leaving Steph to contemplate her mess and the empty suitcase.

Well, not really empty. There was one item of clothing that made its way into the bag before any other. That one shirt Keanu left behind. It was grey and had the logo for the bike custom shop he worked for, Arch motorcycle. Steph wasn’t proud to admit that she had worn often in the last month. It was her way to keep herself close to him.

Everything was going so well; she was loving the time she spent with Keanu and that night she had been so happy that he was the one she was celebrating this new accomplishment in her career. Of course, it had to be Kevin to ruin everything.

He caught her dancing when Keanu excused himself to go to the restroom and the only reason Steph agreed to go to the VIP lounge was to avoid making a scene in front of everyone. But she came to regret that decision because from afar it looked like she and Kevin were having an intimate moment, maybe even getting back together, which was exactly how the tabloids published the pictures and what Keanu had thought.

From afar no one could see the way Steph rolled her eyes at Kevin's weak attempts of seduction. She even wondered what she had seen in him in the first place. He was all talk, no action. A leech. She could tell right away that he somehow found out she was gonna be in the next Fincher movie and he wanted in.

Unfortunately, by the time Steph managed to tell Kevin to go fuck himself, Keanu had already seen everything and jumped to the wrong conclusion. He left her alone at the club and ignored her requests at Mars and Venus. Steph never hated the fact that she never bothered to get his number as much as at that moment.

She hated herself even more for thinking she could keep things casual when Keanu was such an amazing guy. At some point, something changed and Steph really started to care for Keanu. It hurt that he didn’t want to see or talk to her, but she needed to respect his choice.

Instead, she turned her focus on returning the bike to him. She knew how important it was to Keanu. That was the only reason she tracked down the shop he worked for. She really didn’t expect the way they desperately fucked that night, but it had given her a glimpse of hope that maybe they could fix this.

Until he mentioned his client and Steph nearly threw up right then. She had been stupid to let herself get involved. He was an escort, not her boyfriend. He stayed because she paid him to, not because he loved or something stupid like that.

Those words were supposed to be the wakeup call Steph needed to shake herself out of this. Focus on her career. And for the most part, she managed to do just that. She didn’t send Keanu any more requests and resisted the urge to drive by the bike shop like a crazy stalker.

At most she googled his band, finding out their website and YouTube channel. Steph watched a few of their videos, really enjoying their sound and not just because it was Keanu’s band. That was why she sent their channel to Mike; he was a music producer married to one of Steph's friends.

She only asked him to check them out. It was his own idea to go to one of Dogstar's live performances. According to him, any garage band could make themselves sound good on video. A live performance was harder to fake.

The sound of the intercom started Steph from her thoughts and she moved to get the gate and door open for Gwen, who had brought along a bottle of that cheap wine they used to drink in college when they were too broke to buy anything else. After an hour, Steph was tipsy, laughing and joking with Gwen and zero progress had been made on her packing endeavor.

“How about this?” Gwen asked, showing her a skimpy set of lingerie that still had the tags on.

“And when exactly do you think I’m gonna wear that?” Steph asked with an arched eyebrow and Gwen shrugged, sipping her wine.

“Maybe you’ll meet a hot French man?”

“It’s a work trip, Gwen,” she said with an eye roll and her friend shrugged.

“You never know. Your co-star is pretty hot. Maybe...”

“Noooo! No way!” Steph said shaking her head. “I’m not dating another actor ever again. Learned my lesson with Kevin.”

“No slutty lingerie for you then,” Gwen said, putting it aside and Steph chuckled, reaching for her phone when Mike’s name flashed across the screen.

“You were right, they’re good,” Mike said as soon as she answered. “A little rough around the edges, but nothing I can’t work with. I gave them my card.”

“You didn’t mention me, did you?” Steph asked, heart on her throat.

“No. Should I have?” Mike asked with hesitation and she breathed a sigh of relief.

“No, no. I’m glad it worked out,” she said with a smile. “Thanks, Mike.”

“No, thank you.”

They said their goodbyes and Steph hung up with another sigh. She was happy Mike liked them. Maybe Dogstar could grow as it deserved. Like Keanu deserved.

“Mike, music producer, Mike?” Gwen asked an eyebrow raised. Steph just nodded. “Did you asked him to sign up with your hooker boyfriend band?”

“What? No!” she glared at her friend. “One, I would never do that and two, Keanu is not my hooker boyfriend.”

Gwen was the only person that Steph had trusted enough to tell about everything that happened. She didn’t judge Steph, but she wasn’t above making mean jokes.

“You miss him, don’t you?” Gwen said with a smirk. “Bet you keep checking up his profile on M&V.”

“I deleted the app actually,” Steph confessed. She wanted to avoid temptation.

“Well, if you want to know, he upped his price again,” Gwen said, glancing down at her own phone. As the owner of the company that made the app, she had access to all information on clients and workers. “7K. And he’s still getting requests every day. The guy is good.”

Steph only hummed noncommittally. She didn’t want to think about how good Keanu was and how she knew a night with him was worth every cent of those 7 thousand dollars.

“And he changed his profile picture. Looking good with the short hair.”

“What?” Steph couldn’t help the shock in her voice as she all but yanked the phone out of Gwen’s hand.

The new profile showed him with shorter hair, pushed to the side, longish dark locks falling over his eyes; his jaw showing a faint stubble. He still looked amazing. He always looked amazing, but Steph really liked the longer hair and she knew he loved it too. She wondered why he did it.

“Oh, honey…” Gwen sighed, giving Steph a sympathetic look as she handed the phone back. “You really liked him, don’t you?” she just nodded, the lump on her throat preventing her from speaking. “Then call him.”

“I don’t have his number,” Steph said, shifting her attention to her open suitcase, the real reason she called Gwen here.

“I’ll get it for you,” her friend replied with a snort, but Steph just shook her head.

“And then what, Gwen? We go out on dates that I’m paying for?” she asked with a snort of her own. “I can’t, ok? If the press got a word of what he does…”

“So what? It’s legal now,” Gwen pointed out. It was the whole reason she made the app in the first place and why it was so popular. Solicitation was no longer a crime. “It’s just a job like any other.”

“Tell that to the rest of the world!” Steph rolled her eyes. “It would ruin my career. Studios and directors wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole. Let’s just drop this, please? I really need to get this suitcase ready.”

She saw the way Gwen hesitated, but in the end, she just nodded, lips pressed together in a displeased line.

“I will just say one last thing,” she started giving Steph time to protest, but she didn’t. “Do you really want to work with studios and directors who judge an actress not by her talent or work ethics, but by who she sleeps with?”

Steph didn’t have an answer to that, and Gwen knew it of course. That was why she said it. The conversation died as the two friends turned their focus on the task at hand, opening a new bottle of wine.

When Steph woke up the next day, her head was pounding in that way only cheap wine could do. Her suitcase was all packed and ready to go, Gwen was nowhere in sight, but there was a slip of paper under her cellphone with Keanu’s name and phone number.  Steph stared at it for a long time in consideration, before pocking it and heading off to the airport.

----

Steph didn’t expect to enjoy her time in France this much. It wasn’t her first time in the country, but it was her first time spending this long in Europe. At first, they only stayed a week in Paris, getting everything already before the entire cast and crew traveled together to the countryside. Most of the movie would take place at the lovely town of Cluny and Steph was in love with the beautiful architecture and the abbey where the story would take place.

Caught in the process of the movie, time seemed to fly, and Steph managed to push away all the troubles of her personal life to a secure corner of her mind. It was one of the things she loved the most about being an actress: the way she could immerse herself in character, feel like a completely different person for a few months.

So, when Steph saw the news of Kevin’s engagement she wasn’t sure if the strange detachment she felt over it was due to her character usually frosty demeanor or her own indifference. She still called Gwen to talk about it, trying to sort out her feelings. It was strange to realize, after weeks of hurting over him, that she barely cared that he was getting married to a woman he met only three months ago.

She hated the way everyone in the crew seemed to walk on eggshells around her when the news broke as if they expected Steph to break down at any second. The only one that seemed to be acting pretty much the same was her co-star Vincent and Steph started to gravitate towards him more and more just to catch a break from the stares and whispers.

They were staying at the same inn, rooms right next to each other and they would have breakfast together every morning, chatting up about everything and nothing. Then they would drive to the set together, singing obnoxiously loud to pop songs. When they finished filming for the day, they would stop by this little bistro for dinner, which was quickly becoming their favorite, before heading back to the inn to call it a night.

Steph knew more than a few pictures of them had hit the press already, wondering if the onscreen chemistry and romance had been transferred offscreen. She wouldn’t mind if that had happened because Vincent was great. He was also gay and in a happy and committed relationship with his publicist. Since he wasn’t out yet, he didn’t mind the rumors any more than Steph care about playing his beard for a couple of months.

One particular weekend his boyfriend came to visit and he, Vincent and Steph went out to dinner. It was the most fun Steph had in a while. They were hilarious and snarky and absolutely smitten for one another. Seeing them together made her heart clench with jealousy. She wanted what they had, the easy banter and silent conversations with one single look and sheer happiness of having someone that just got you and loved you not despite your imperfections, but because of them.

Maybe it was that nagging jealousy that made Steph drink way more than she should during dinner, especially considering she was such a lightweight. Fortunately, they were perfect gentlemen and took her back to the inn, all but tuck her in bed, a glass of water and a couple of aspirins on the table for her when she woke up.

She cuddled with her pillow, squeezing her eyes shut to fight the queasiness on her stomach. All Steph wanted was for the pillow to magically changed into something else. Someone else.

She missed Keanu so much. His cheeky grin and cute little laughter that he always seemed to hide behind his hand whenever he was embarrassed. The twinkle in his eye whenever he talked about something he was passionate about and his exaggerated hand gestures… The way his hands could cover most of her hips; how he could lift her up like she weighed nothing, pin her against the wall an do the most wicked things to her. The taste of his mouth, with that lingering hint of nicotine underlying everything or how he always seemed to smell like leather and steel.

It felt almost like Steph was watching from out of her body as she kicked the covers off herself and dug her coat pockets until she found that slip of paper. She punched in his number, saving it on her phone before she made the call, which went straight to voice mail. Steph felt like crying at the sound of his deep voice asking her to leave a message.

“I know I shouldn’t be calling. I know you don’t wanna see me or hear from me, but fuck I miss you, Ke. Like crazy,” she slurred, flopping back in bed. “I wish you were here with me or that I was there. And I don’t even care anymore if you’re a hooker and you’re sleeping with half of LA. I want you so much. Shit. I’m gonna throw up…”

When Steph woke up the next day she really thought the pounding she was hearing was just the throbbing headache making her dizzy and nauseous. It took her a moment to realize it was the knocking on her door and she had to all but dragged herself out of bed to pull the door open, wincing against the light of the hall.

“You’re alive, good!” Vincent joked, pushing his way inside and all Steph managed was a weak groan as she closed the door as quietly as she could and staggered after him, every step making her stomach churn.

“What time is it?” she croaked, walking to the bathroom to wash her mouth, trying to make the foul taste on her tongue disappear.

“A little after 10,” he called out and Steph flinched at the loud tone of his voice. “We were supposed to go shopping but I take you’re not up for it?”

“You think?” she deadpanned, downing the aspirin she forgot to take last night and crawling under the covers again as Vincent dropped beside her. “I just want to sleep.”

“I bet,” he chuckled, “you were downing that wine like it was water.”

“I’m never drinking again,” she groaned, burying her head under the pillow, faintly hearing her phone beeping, but decided to ignore it. Whatever it was it could wait until tomorrow.

“This Ke person really wants to talk to you,” Vincent commented, and Steph’s eyes snapped open. Fuck! She didn’t dream that?

She snatched the phone out of his hand, squinting at the screen. Even that amount of light was jarring against her eyes. There were five missed calls and fifteen text messages from Keanu, the level of panic in his words increasing at each one, wondering if she was alright?

Steph, please call me or I’m gonna start sending ambulances to every hotel in Paris!

“Oh shit!” she mumbled, hitting redial. Keanu picked up at the first ring.

“Thank fuck! Are you ok?” he asked with a sigh of obvious relief and Steph’s heart did an acrobatic flip in her chest at the same time her cheeks burned.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Just hungover. I’m so sorry I called you,” she rubbed her forehead, grimacing at her own pathetic drunk self.

“It’s just your message cut out all of a sudden and you weren’t picking up and…” he let out a heavy sigh. “I was worried.”

“I know. Thank you,” she couldn’t help but smile despite everything. Keanu really was such a good guy. “And I really am sorry.”

“It’s ok. Get some rest.”

“I will,” Steph sighed. “Bye, Ke.” She hung up before she could say anything else that would embarrass the hell out of her and dropped her phone to the side, covering her face and groaning.

“Ke, huh?” Vincent asked, his tone curious and Steph could almost picture the smirk on his face. “Did you drunk-dialed your ex?”

“Worse,” she moaned, pulling her hands away and looking at her friend. “I drunk-dialed the escort I’ve been fucking to get over my ex.”

“Whoa!” both his eyes and smirk widened. “Tell me more!”

And because Steph didn’t have any sense of self-preservation, that was exactly what she did. She told Vincent everything. The sudden and messy breakup with Kevin, his dick move of letting himself be photographed with a lingerie model a day before her new movie’s premiere; getting drunk and requesting a night with Keanu and everything else. She only spared the sex details because well, even Steph wasn’t that crazy, but all else hung in the open, including her unrequited feelings for him.

“Steph, doll, if they were really unrequited, he wouldn’t have called back…” Vincent checked her phone, “five times. This guy is clearly into you too.”

“He’s not. He’s just that nice,” she sighed, staring at the ceiling once again. “It’s one of the reasons I like him.”

Steph could still see the disbelief in Vincent’s eyes, but he didn’t argue anymore, which she was grateful for. She also felt a little better for getting it off her chest. Lighter.

“Do you wanna see a picture of him?” she offered and Vincent grinned.

“Hell yes!” She opened her favorites and pulled up Dogstar’s website, handing the phone to Vincent.

“He’s the one on the left,” she pointed out and he whistled.

“Damn! He’s hot! Like seriously hot. Like should’ve been a model hot,” Vincent said, handing the phone back. “No wonder you’re hooked. It almost sounds like Pretty Woman, only you’re Richard Gere and he’s Julia Roberts. Uhh! We should watch it.”

“You know what? Why not?” Steph shrugged, grabbing the remote and flickering the TV on. It wasn’t like she was planning on getting out of bed anyway. Watching some stupid rom-com with a friend sounded like a perfect way to deal with her hungover.

They ordered all junk food they could get from room service and just spent the entire day in bed, watching movies and laughing together. By the time Vincent said his goodbyes and head out to his own room, her headache was gone and her heartache had been dulled a little. The only thing missing was a nice warm bath to make her feel human again.

As Steph soaked in the tub, Hozier playing on her iPod, she nearly jumped at the sound of her phone, Keanu’s name flashing across the screen for a facetime call. Taking a deep breath and making sure nothing too compromising was showing, she accepted his call, breath catching on her throat when his face appeared.

“Hey,” he greeted, the sound of his baritone making her shiver.

“Hi.”

There was a moment of awkward silence in which they only stared at each other. Steph noticed the shorter hair really suited Keanu, but it was hard not to miss the long locks that framed his face so well.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better, thanks,” Steph managed with a small smile. “I-uh liked the new hair.”

“Thanks,” Keanu chuckled, combing his fingers through it. “I was babysitting Gard’s kid and she wanted to play hairdresser. I had no idea she would use actual scissors.”

A bubble of laughter escaped Steph’s lips as she watched his embarrassed little shrug. Keanu laughed too, that cute little chuckle, hand covering his mouth and she grinned.

“Well, she did a really good job,” she joked. “Maybe I should make an appointment when I get back to LA.”

“She does nails too,” Keanu said, wiggling his fingers in front of the camera to display his black nail polish, making Steph chuckle. She missed this. Missed him. “I saw the news on Kevin’s engagement. How are you?”

“I wish him all the happiness,” she said with a shrug. “I’m over him. Really.”

“Good.” He ducked his head a little and Steph recognized that gesture. When Keanu had longer hair he would often do it to hide behind his dark mane, but with the shorter locks, his eyes remained in full display and what she thought she saw on them made her heart skip a beat. “I missed you.”

“Me too,” she whispered, squeezing the phone a little tighter so her shaky hand wouldn’t drop it. Keanu flashed her that cheeky grin Steph had come to love.

“Oh, I know,” he drawled, leaning back and she noticed he was in bed. “You said on your voicemail. Along with something about wanting me…”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Steph declared, her cheeks burning red.

“Really?” he smirked. “It was between not caring if I was sleeping with half of LA and you announcing you were gonna throw up.”

“Oh my God!” she covered her face, splashing bubbles over the camera. She had forgotten about that, but Steph really wished she could forget everything.

“I’m not, you know?” Keanu said, his expression turning serious. “Sleeping with anyone. I’ve only ever slept with you.”

“Oh.” Steph didn’t really know what to say to that and again they just stared at each other, the silence hanging between them heavy, full of unspoken feelings.

“I have to get ready for work,” he said, clearing his throat. “Talk to you later?” his smile was hesitant, hopeful.

“Yeah,” she smiled and nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Good.”

xxx (tbc) xxx

go to part 6

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