#don't judge my writing program choices

[urproblematicfav-ao3]

This shit is so fucking elaborate man. Fucking love how deeply inaccessible this is gonna be, on account of all the extreme sexual violence and really graphic gore

[lovecrimeagh]

okay look I need to get something off my chest and I really hope you understand and won't hate me but like.. idk I might end up regretting I said it but I feel like if i don't, then any good relations I have on here are kinda "built on lies" and I feel fake and guilty, so. please don't take it in a bad way, I'm not trying to offend anyone or like hint at anything, just opening up here.

I do use ai. NOT to make it write MY fics or edit them. I'd ask for synonyms or stuff like "how is it called when does this and that" bc I know there's a proper name for it but I can't formulate a search like that, or at most a couple times I tried to ask what's wrong with my work mainly in general without having it change the actual thing but I don't remember fully, I just mean- if it did generate a different version, I'd just consider some direction if it seems to make sense, NOT copy it and call it mine. I'd be absolutely happy to talk about it to a person instead but I just don't really have anyone who would really want to and I don't want to be annoying.

I literally feel so guilty to use like, a phrase that chatgpt made bc it's from ai, so I don't. or if I did, I'd feel the need to specifically disclose it which would be kinda dumb and again, people won't like it, and I'd also feel like it's stolen and bad because it's hated so much. though everyone can use smth small like that which they saw on the Internet and that's fine, with this the guilt absolutely kills me.

mainly I use it for my own stupid entertainment because I need stupid hurt/comfort to survive, like to have something soft to read in bed, and to have it anytime about anything I want. yeah, apparently that's bad and I get where you're coming from, but this gets me through things, and I'm NOT posting or using anything it makes and claiming it as made by me.

yes, of course I read fics and they're amazing, and yes I'm trying to write my own but there's very little of exactly my type of thing out there and I wouldn't be reading my own fic all the time (especially with the way I write 2 sentences in a week🙏) but, I know that sounds stupid, but I just need to have some h/c available this bad so that there's always something to save me, whatever is going on, yes, I'm sad and greedy

I ask about nuanced stuff that wouldn't work in a search, or things I know too little about to get some direction, or when I don't have time, or well, to cheat in uni with stuff I won't need in life anyway. because. it is faster and easier, yeah, that's all there is to it. I have limited free time and energy and I want to have it for something more valuable than going through tons of sites to decide on smth and getting a headache and feeling depressed bc I struggle with making choices, and to have something explain stuff in a human-like way, even if not 100% correct, simply makes it easier emotionally.

another part of it is that I barely have anyone to talk to. and I guess I'll have even less when you see this but I feel like a total liar if I don't, like, confess. but yeah, if there's a topic none of the ppl who would talk to me can and want to discuss/help with, which is.. many topics sadly, and it bothers me, then what I have left is try with the program that "understands" me (and doesn't judge or tell anyone or whatever. I know that's fucked up bc it isn't a person but it feels like a safe space, I'm not close enough with anyone really to open up about everything, but eh..I wish I was) and often enough it's simply to comfort myself.

I'll be honest, I don't fully get the AI hate, I understand the big problem with its "art" and plagiarism and commercial shit, but in terms of completely personal use, overall it's..just an LLM program, a tool?..like, it depends on what you do with it, but because so many are against it, I feel like it's- the right thing? to let them know, I guess

I don't want to make discourse, I'm not trying to insult those who are fully against AI either, this is just what I think.

if you want, hate me. it'll make sense, and yes I could just not say this but I felt the need to confess and be honest, and then what happens, happens. of course I hope you won't hate me, I like you all, I want to be friends. but if say I were friends with someone and they hate AI and I don't tell them I use it.. I'd regularly feel fake and guilty like I'm betraying them or try to stop using it and struggle, and still feel guilty bc I used it before. I'd often personally tell ppl about it when we start talking just to make sure it isn't a problem or to let them stop talking to me right away if it is because then it's not as painful. idk how rational this is, but well, here you go

[iztopher]

i made a "talking about things i do not like" tag and then pretty much never used it, but i woke up today annoyed about undertale again so i guess i'm finally cracking it out

there's all the little things that made undertale a negative experience for me personally - the save system, the combat system being everything i hate about social interactions as an autistic person (guess what this person wants from this interaction and how to give it to them or else be punished!), the fact that it's a bullet hell game -

and all the ways people's reception of it made me bitter when i didn't end up liking it - why are these characters applauded as compelling and meaningful when i got made fun of for loving characters with just as much (read: little) depth?, why did everyone say this is an RPG when it's a bullet hell game?, why do i feel like i'm not allowed to dislike it? -

but fundamentally. the thing that makes me think about it three years later and grit my teeth in frustration is that toby fox and i are both game designers and we have completely different perspectives on game design. and his grinds my gears and from anyone other than a game designer who pours so much of his time and energy into games pings my "does not respect games as an art form" alert!

hear me out. i think people hold video game players to an unfair moral standard compared to interacting with other types of art. people think of people's decisions in video games as more reflective of their real life beliefs and actions than they do other types of media. and i don't mean this to say that video games shouldn't be held accountable for their portrayal of marginalized people and serious topics - but i mean i think people can be more inclined to judge someone for playing call of duty than watching captain america or top gun, even if they're all similar types of US military propaganda.

to me, making a choice in a video game is the same thing as opening a book. i'm not actually the one making the choice - the game developer(s), who spent time creating the writing, code, graphics, etc. for the choice, did. they included this option for a reason. let's find out why!

but people have a habit of judging people for opening that book to read it for themselves and decide how they feel. i saw this with dragon age and i'm seeing it with baldur's gate. i saw it with how people talked about twelve minutes. it is the central conceit of undertale: if someone makes a choice in a video game, it has to be because they want it to happen, or they think it doesn't really matter. it can't be because they're curious what the game developer has to say about it.

from my perspective on video games, toby fox wants you to play no mercy route. he wrote it! he spent all that time writing and programming it, designing extremely challenging battles, creating subtle branches for different versions of increasingly violent neutral routes. he clearly has something to say about it.

that something, of course, then turns out to be punishing you for listening to him and telling you you were wrong and cruel for being curious what he had to say.

the clearest, least-inflammatory comparison i can think of is saw vi, a movie where the jigsaw killer puts an insurance executive in a gauntlet of traps meant to illustrate how evil he is for denying people coverage. i watched that movie specifically because i was curious what it had to say about pre-obamacare united states health insurance. undertale's approach to no mercy route feels like if at the end of that movie the director walked in front of the camera and called me a murderous asshole for watching it.

my partner is always talking about how art is a conversation. it's about communication between the creator and the audience. in that metaphor, undertale is going to a lecture and then being scoffed at for asking questions. it's not my idea of a good conversation, a good story, or a good game.

as a tldr: this backlogged review always makes me laugh

[anm-zero]

Judging by your post on the little chibi’s (dazai and gojo) would you consider yourself a fan of jjk or is it just something casual? I also have another question about program or whatever it’s called you use to write; is it google docs or something else I’m going to attempt to get a computer so writing is a bit easier seeing as it’s just a bit odd doing it on my phone and it’s much easier to use all those tools like to replace words or check spelling.

I am indeed a fan of Jujutsu Kaisen, I've been reading since 2018, back when there were twenty chapters. Haven't watched the anime. (nothing new with that, though). Sukuna and Hanami are my favourites. I love the character designs for the Curses.

I write using various applications, depending on what I'm doing. If I'm writing on my phone, I'll just draft since I make more errors typing and tend to run-off — it's much easier to type on a computer and check the fluidity of your writing. I used to use Yandex 360 (Yandex Documents) before I decided to make my online presence dependent on using more Western-preferred applications such as Gmail and Google due to some instigations with others when I used a mail.ru address. My primary choice for writing is Google Docs, which is useful for mobile and computer. This allows me to hop between either device so I can work on the go and at home. Google Docs also allows for an "Offline Mode" so you don't need WiFi to write (but you still need WiFi to actually open Google Docs. I always recommend that you still store your files somewhere (either as an .rtf file or .pdf) since things happen and you may lose some documents. My runner-up is usually Microsoft Word (or LibreOffice if you want a free alternative). Unlike Google Docs, Microsoft Word can be used offline entirely and has more collaborations features. It's also expensive (which is why I suggest LibreOffice). Microsoft Word is also more secure with your data and documents compared to docs. At the end of the day, you go with what suits your needs, maybe it's something less mainstream. It's important to do your own research, too.

EDIT: If a computer is out of your price range and typing on a phone is too bothersome, online vendors sell keyboards (and keyboard-mouse sets) for your phone that connect via Bluetooth. The picture below is an example of one.

- ᴀ.ᴢᴇʀᴏɪ

[pirepoumon]

still thinking about the venue choice local queer (as in, content about queer people, relationships, transition, etc. regardless of who created it) performances essay i want to write. but i don't know what my point is and i can't write without one.

consistently the warehouse stagings of weirder shows by local arts juggernauts, no matter the theme, are specifically leveraging the sense of intimacy that only a couple rows deep of in-the-round gym chair seating can provide. KYS is the first, imo, of the modern local renaissance and they did it with horror - but even their straight titus andronicus was in Play's (gay bar) warehouse, back when they didn't have their own. the woman in black was a stunning (mostly) two man show, also not queer*.

contrasting as one from ky opera and the woman in black is a large part of what got me thinking about this anyway - the former is a gorgeous two singer opera which was staged in the opera's warehouse, the bar in their library, the organization's history on the walls in the same non-advertising, scrapbook way that is a casual private kind of public, like family photos in a living room. in the post-performance talk the director (who is, in fact, heading ATL but took on his first opera direction this show) talked about the choice to stage it here not only as the intimacy of the physical facts of the space - its size, the stage and seating sharing a floor without demarcation or elevation change - but the intimacy of being in the opera's home, home office and home rehearsal space.

the opera's warehouse is located on magazine street - eighth and magazine, where you can see the great asphalt canyon of the ninth street divide from their parking lot. no preserved facades, no whiskey row art installations, no tourism advertising, just the living legacy of carving the black west end from the city center via the bulldozing and highway-building policies of our 20th century city government. it feels othered, because it is other-than, but i do think that sense of home the opera spoke to is palpable, even if i refrain from pretending i can judge the "authenticity" of a "feeling" of an organization.

ky shakes' hometurf shows haven't been queer, as discussed above, but their shakespeare in dance ballet collaboration shocked me to tears with the public dramatization of both heterosexual and homosexual desire on stage, for free, in the park, all those years ago. and so still it hits that when i walk to their shelby street warehouse for their seasonal halloween show, their private home i have come to visit only blocks away from their public one, i do believe it when Matt Wallace tells me this is YOUR kentucky shakespeare.

it is beyond the scope of this essay i'm not writing to address the similarly your louisville orchestra tagline-obsessed, uh, LO, but that line lands solely in the context of teddy abrams' revival of the making music program in local elementary schools, in its tour of the entire state from east to west that parallels the now-standard miniature parks (and library) tour of kentucky shakes.

there are other considerations, like price (it's easier to swallow KY shakes being ours when its main season is fully free; the opera, reaching out beautifully, is still exceptionally expensive without student tix). the geographical designation in these organization's names are practical to distinguish from other ones elsewhere, sure, but it is essential to their revival**. there are two ways for something to belong to a group whose sole commonality is geographical residence: to invite people in, or to go to their community wherever they are; arts organizations who most embody their own vision of belonging to/serving their neighbors will and must do both.

well i guess this has to be part one because this is basically the perfect setup for re-explaining why the highview mob boss sligo newcastle from the extremely mediocre play the kiss me curse at highview arts center is essentially the pinnacle of local theater ethos. but i am out of time

[wolfeyedwitch]

My October Plans

So after some more reading and researching and soul-searching, I have decided that I will be participating in AI-less whumptober, but not Whumptober. @ailesswhumptober has excellent posts on why AI is truly theft, and the way @whumptober has handled it, both in terms of refusing to call it what it is and in terms of just straight up deleting comments calling them out on some ableist BS, is very disappointing.

That said! I'm not here to judge anyone else's life choices, and I'm excited to see what everyone creates this coming month.

My current goal is to write at least 10 pieces using whumptober prompts.

EDIT: I don't know enough and am too tired to make any kind of moral judgment on anything. AI generated stuff sucks. AI content creation is theft. But considering that literally nothing is actual artificial intelligence and that's just what machine learning programs are being called, and that there are machine learning programs that are in fact useful and helpful aids for stuff? Shit man, idk. Grammarly is marketed as AI, but I don't think it should be in the same category as ChatGPT.

I'm sticking with the ailesswhumptober prompts because they're speaking to me more, but yeah. The whole thing here makes me want to bang my head against a desk or something.

Just. Be kind, yall. In general, obviously, but in specific here too. I want to believe that we are all trying our best, and that should mean something.

I'm tired. I shall continue with planning tomorrow. Goodnight.

[idya-shroud]

(Heads up, this is 100% meant to be a gag letter! It will reference a bunch of stuff from Dramatical Murders series that died in like 2015-ish, as idia bears a striking resemblance to the lead. I COULD annoy this, but I ain’t no coward lol 😆just pretend you didn’t read this little note in parenthese )

Dear Aoba Seragaki,

I’m writing to you again for my weekly assignment from the ASGFGWSF(anime support group for guys with similar features) for the first time since you moved as a thing to help you settle in and to remind you to chance your address on all your mailing information!

Now that the business is out of the way, something feels different about you lately, but I can’t put my finger on it. Did you get glasses or something? Im happy that you finally ditched that awful coat, but that’s not it either! It’s really bugging me!

Anyways, from our prior exchanges I know I can ask you this without receiving judgement; how do you remove a robot from your butt!? I’ve already gone through 1 industrial size bucket of lube, but I can’t get a grip on it with the pliers! I figured you’d be the guy to ask, and I REALLY don’t want to go to the ER for this again. Last time was so awkward! You think they’d never seen a person in a committed relationship with their lawnmower before!!

I also think I might have your dog?? He’s constantly judging me and scolding me for my poor life choices in a deep voice, he also made the metal detector go off at the YMCA and I had to spend the night in holding at the county jail. He won’t leave no matter what I do and I’m running out of ideas. Please, he stares into me with those blank eyes and judges me! I can’t take it any more!! I make FAR too many morally questionable decisions on a regular basis to be expected to keep watching your dog for you man! PLEASE pick him up soon!!

With much anticipation,

Mitsuki(the guy from that crappy Naruto spinoff that ALSO has gold eyes and blue hair😆)

Yikes, just...yikes.

R.I.P. to that lawnmower, it's probs going to be lost in there forever.

I don't remember ever having a dog, let alone one that could speak, not since I was omega young anyways.

I remember building one and it ended up terrorizing our entire living room, chewed and ruined a lot of cables before it eventually exploded. Oof my parents were not happy with me that day, it also didn't help that I used janky, sketchy at best, programming to make it act exactly like a dog. Y'know, since we never really owned any irl pets, I wasn't really sure how it would behave. Lessons were learned that day LOL.

Anyways, good luck with your, er, mission ig and sorry about your loss. You might've sent this to the wrong guy I think. Kinda wish I never read most of this but uh, yeah...

[wenamedthedogkylo]

100% agree but I'd like to add something for folks to think about. I worked for a captioning company for 2 years, not as a captioner myself but as the scheduler between clients and captioners—client says "we need this show/broadcast/event/livestream/webinar/etc captioned", I put it in the books and then found someone to live caption it. My side was live captions, I should note, which is slightly different than the transcription-style captioning done for stuff that's already been recorded, but we had a dept for that, too.

Even from 2016-2018 when I was with that company, the whole captioning (and related court reporting) industry was deeply worried about the future for a very simple reason: virtually no one was joining it. Young people didn't even know about it as an industry, as a thing you could do for work to make money. So there was no influx of human beings to keep things going long-term. The captioners I worked with were all 40 or older; one lady was in her 60s-pushing-70s, and my boss who occasionally stepped in to caption was in her 60s as well.

So even a few years before the threat of AI started looming over everything, the captioning industry was starting to panic about where they would even find people to do captions someday. And it's not an easy task.

Even for pre-taped stuff like shows and films, the ideal scenario is to have a professional captioner who can use a stenotype machine to type quickly and accurately in shorthand and get those words out as fast as possible.

You have to have great hearing and better listening skills, because you need to be able to quickly parse the speaker's words from ambient noise and/or figure out accents.

Obviously the pressure is higher for live captioners, but pre-taped captioners are still under pressure to do all this as quickly and accurately as possible for a fast turnaround. (Our pre-taped captioners did a lot of archival stuff, writing up captions for old as balls programs with audio recorded on a potato, like good lord.)

You also need time beforehand to prep your shorthand dictionaries, because if you're not familiar with the material that's going to be talked about and someone says a word you don't know, you're gonna have no choice but to slap up something that's probably very wrong and you're going to be judged for not getting it right. But organizers aren't always great at getting your prep to you on time... or at all... so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So captioning is a highly skilled job that takes a lot of training and focus to do, even if you have the luxury of being able to play back the show/film/whatever that you're captioning or have a script to work from. And again, even if you have prep or a script to work from, it could change last minute and the folks in charge might not bother giving it to you at all.

Now combine all these things together: an industry based on an essential accessibility, which is slowly dying because not enough humans are getting trained and joining the workforce to keep it alive according to professional and regulatory standards. It's also not cheap to hire captioning services, because you're paying for skilled labor from a human who can actually understand the nuances of human speech.

So what do you think film companies and such are gonna do? Look for every way imaginable to cut corners, of course. Hire outside of trusted, certified, trained captioning companies. Start up shitty little slopshops of people who can prove a high WPM rate to type up captions for a pittance. And now we have AI on the scene, finally making it possible to remove the human element altogether and have a machine do it for you for even less than a pittance.

Where I'm going with this is: please rage against shitty captions on your shows and movies. Rage about them publicly. Rage about them online, in person, to the FCC, to any government officials who need a reminder that the ADA exists as a part of US law. I'm less familiar with equivalent governing bodies outside the US who might have a say in captioning, but rage at them as well. But most importantly, rage against the studios and companies who are skimping on captioning services.

You're right, it is not a big ask that captions and subtitles be good and understandable. However, it is not exclusively the fault of the captioning companies and their captioners. The captioning industry is actively ageing and dying. People make mistakes as they get older, they can't type as fast or hear as well as they used to, they're not as familiar with new cultural touchstones and language. The good captioners are all aging out and retiring, and virtually no humans are stepping up to replace them, either from not knowing it's a viable career or from knowing that those remaining are being deeply undervalued—that production companies don't want to spend anything at all, so they'll only spend the bare minimum and take whatever crap they pay for as "good enough". So instead, the captioning workforce is being replaced with machines and AI who cannot do half as good a job as a human being could.

So rage against bad captions and subtitles, but direct your rage where it's needed: at the production companies who refuse to pay for a human being to properly interpret for other humans, and would rather a shitty AI do it instead. Rage against the shoddy legislation and regulations that allow them to do this, that allow captioning companies to desperately turn more to AI captions as they lose their workforce and are told their services aren't worth being paid much for.

Put your rage where it will have an effect. Not at the feet of overworked captioners and companies who are unwillingly having to switch to computer-generated garbage just to make sure there are *some* kinds of captions available. Direct it at the studios and production companies who won't pay for human labor, and the regulators who are letting best practices be left to rot.

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

[dvnzip]

I've been an avid music listener since I can remember. Music has been the biggest constant in my life. I was told that when I was a newborn certain music would play and my heartbeat would speed up and I'd coo or try to smile. That turned into head nods when my neck strength increased. Needless to say, it's been a big piece of my life.

I wasn't a musician or anything, but I could feel myself around an instrument. But creativity in that format never interested me much. I later found music production programs that would scratch that itch. But I'm not really here to write about that.

I've noticed as I've gotten older that I've changed how I intake music. When I was younger, lyrics meant everything to me. It was a pride point of mine to know every word to every song I liked. And I did for the most part. But maybe when I hit my mid-twenties, I started to notice that I didn't really do that anymore. Lyrics are still important, don't get me wrong. But the vocals were more of just an additional instrument to me (excluding rap. Lyrics are what make that genre). Now, music serves a different purpose for me.

Key selection, bpm selection/variance, rhythm pocket choices. All of those things mean the most to me. It's not as simple as minor = sad/major = happy for me. My favorite moments now come from sounds that take me to a place that lets me make my emotions tangible. I struggle to cry, and music doesn't help with that. But being able to mentally dance in a room made of violet hues while Police Scanner by Chanel Beads does something for me.

I don't need to know what you're saying. I don't need to know how you're feeling. I just need to feel you. That's all. That's what sonics are for me now. And in a way, they always have been. Certain bass lines bring images of my childhood yard at night to my mind. Different echoed sampled vocals help me to hear the voice of a friend who is no longer on this plane with us anymore. It's a viewpoint into the thereafter or the before-it-all. Just the essence of what we're observing.

But that shouldn't shock me. Everything is just a wave doing the worm faster or slower than others. But to wrap it up, thank you to anyone who made anything who made me feel anything. Happy, sad, angry, joyous, depressed, or whatever else I can feel. Thank you to the engineers who spend 45 minutes on the reverb of a kick drum. The vocalists who do 14 takes for one perfect ad-lib that will only be heard by people who pay attention to that sort of thing. To the pianist who decided to replay a section to add "depth" to the chords just be applying more/less pressure during a key stroke. And to everyone else involved. Thank you.

Music is and will always be my first love. Don't be bothered by anyone judging you for what you like. I'll judge you internally, but I'm externally root for your odd/corny/pseudo-intellectual/try-hard music taste. It's your right!

And lastly.......top 40 is great music. Don't let anyone tell you different. But so is Westside Gunn.

[eduquip]

07/05:

What is the role of writing rubrics? What should be their goal?

This is something I've battled with for a while; I want to recognize students' content and ideas, but analytic writing rubrics make me slip into looking at the form and structure of writing rather than content. 6 + 1 traits writing rubric, a program designed specifically to assess and teach writing, scores based on the following criteria:

Ideas

Organization

Word Choice

Sentence Fluency

Conventions

Voice

Presentation

The only criteria here that focuses on content is the "Ideas" category, and the rest can be measured by grammatical rules or by being an "authority" on writing. It's a teacher's job to have the knowledge on writing and share it with students, then judge how much they have mastered writing as an artform, but not the picture itself. While I think that teaching students how to form their writing is important, this rubric calls for uniform writing based on the genre, not writing that expresses how a student's message came across.

How much do students care about their own writing is it's expected to be up to a teacher's standard? Studies show that students don't think much about teachers' input or feedback on a final draft and don't often heed suggestions on revising their piece or build upon future writing (Neal et. al, 2010). Teachers can use rubric data to help inform student instruction and potentially help students, but according to a 1982 study, teachers provide feedback based on their "ideal" version of a text rather than encourage students to develop their own purpose for communicating (Brannon & Knoblauch, 1982). While this study is dated, I find personal truth in it: when I have graded student writing based on a rubric, I did find myself scratching my head over conventions and lack of "academic" and insightful vocabulary. I had a version of what I deemed great writing in my head and expected my students to reach it. This may be a "me" thing, but my host teacher expressed similar sentiment where she was upset that our students' writing quality was "not where it should be". Maybe it's a failure to express ideas or "impress" their readers, but if the purpose was not to impress or they has expectations unbeknownst to them, analytic rubrics aren't the way to go.

I think rubrics should be used to set goals for students. I think there is flaw to using this as grading criteria because of the stress amounted to the product over the process. Rubrics can be used at the beginning of a project unit to help communicate what's expected of students— setting these goals can help students with their writing process (McTighe & O'Connor, 2005). This can also limit students' creativity within a genre, but if a teacher seeks to help students' structure and organization to develop their writing before ideas, this is one way to narrow the focus. I like the idea of collaborative writing when it comes to helping students find areas to grow in their writing. The issue with feedback on an end product is that students are not responding to it; by leaving feedback on student work and allowing them to respond, students take ownership over their writing and readers can understand intention and help refine or enhance their writing more (Neal et. al, 2010). This can be accomplished with both teachers and peers— students by opening writing up to conversation with multiple people, ideas can be exchanged and the process of writing can help students develop not only style, but ideas and content as well. Rubrics can be used as a tool to guide conversation to help writers convey their purpose for writing in the editing and revising process, but I don't think rubrics should define grades.

Grades can be determined, instead, through this collaborative conversation. Conferencing with teachers about their writing and using rubrics to supplement conversation about reaching goals and areas of improvement can help determine a final grade. Continually setting goals for writing is the best way to help students improve organizationally to deliver their purpose for writing (Gillespie & Graham, 2011). Conversations about writing help students use their voice to advocate for themselves and builds stronger communications. Helping students learn to use their voice and giving feedback without hearing from the writer is just a review, not a means of motivating students to do more.

References

6+1 Traits Writing Rubric, REV 2011

Brannon, L., & Knoblauch, C.H. (1982). On students’ rights to their own texts: A model of teacher response. College Composition and Communication, 33, 157-166.

Gillespie, A., & Graham, S. (2011). Evidence-based practices for teaching writing. Online.

McTighe, J. & O’Connor, K. (2005). Seven practices for effective learning. Educational Leadership, 63(3), 10-17.

Neal, M., O'Neill, P., Schendel, E., & Huot, B. (2010). Teachers' written responses to student writing: A selective bibliography. Journal of Writing Assessment, 3(1), 61-72.

[rourhksapocolypse]

Pictured above is the program for church service at our local church (week of 5/12-5/18 2024), and when I read it (not someone who goes to church because I don't fit in the local congregation) I found I really liked how it was handled.

The big idea for this week's sermon is "Can a Christian be Gay or Trans"? (Or support those who are?)

TL;DR the sermon was well handled, if the program was any indication, and says "Don't Hate Gays for Being Gay!", and "Gender Transition isn't going to help people, but if they choose to take that plunge you are not to make their life worse; but also because Gender Culture can and has hurt people without making anything better we should probably help people separate the lies from the truth and letting them make their own decisions and choices", while reminding us "We are supposed to love our neighbors/enemies as we do ourselves, as God would want us to do and as He does us.", but in more detail.

Also, if you decide to look into this post, expect discomfort, whiplash, and rants. No holds barred. No section written completely in order.

I'll transpose sections of both program and personal thoughts directly as I write this.

Opening Cautions

This is a personal topic for many of us, let's approach it delicately.

Reminder: this series is "can a Christian..." [and] not "can a person..." (1 Corinthians 5:9-13)

[I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a [Believer in Christ] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

12 What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”] New International Version

It is crucial that we seek to take the log out of our own eye before offering to take the splinter out of our neighbor's eye (Matthew 7:3-5)

[3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.] NIV

Personal thoughts: The two bible verses here, which I've copy-pasted through a quick google search, bring up liars and hypocrisy. The general meaning brought up in First Corinthians is "Don't judge people who don't know better, we're not here to be the chat police on the people who don't know the standards we are being held to. But if someone says they're a Christian, but don't live up to the hype, don't bother. They're lying and probably trying to drag you into shit and you should just cut them out of your life because they will drag you down with them for the hell of it."

That covers Corinthians, so what about what Matthew is saying here?

Basic meaning? "Don't be a pot calling the kettle black." as the old saying goes. Or to be a little more internet-focused, "Why hate the guy with the furry-ears headband when you're prancing around in a fursuit? And why try to help fix his problem when yours is so much worse?"

Do you hate that I'm saying this? That it implies you might get called out by Jesus as a Pharisee - a hide-bound lip-service "believer" who sticks more to the rules than the message?

First: Get a life. Truth is Truth and we're supposed to support that.

Second: if I'm calling you out, then that's between you and God. Bring it up with Him and He'll direct you to ways to actually fix it. And then maybe let you fail to fix it on your own merits.

Can a Christian... Be Gay?

Direct Teaching: God created humans with opposite genders, and for sex to be enjoyed between opposite genders in a life-long covenant relationship (Genesis 2:21-25; matthew 19:3-6; 1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

[direct mentions of Genesis chapters one and two]

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[a] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[b] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. | 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’  for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

[Verse 25 is irrelevant here, and this is basically a Magic-Not-Science explanation for sexual dimorphism for the early Jews, because they didn't really know what science was when Genesis was being written, and that a number of today's egotistical anthropologists would consider anyone before Egypt as an uncultured primitive. Also, I was advised to not leave in that last part, but it's not like I'm being completely inaccurate.]

9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

Wisdom: What do you mean by "gay"?

Experiencing same-sex attraction.

Engaging in same-sex activity.

Identifying as part of the gay community.

The Point: All of us experience different temptations. The question is not whether or not someone experiences a specific temptation, but how they think about and respond to that temptation.

Personal thoughts: This one is harder for me to parse. But then everything about the logistics of love and romance are difficult for me to explain and understand.

What is most obvious from the get-go, however, is that different people have different tastes, and of course, how they go about chasing those tastes.

Obvious, extreme example ahoy: Rape can happen among (both by and to) men and women. And extra-marital sex - or for the more worldly, cheating on your partner - is a bad way to respond, and certainly not a Christian one.

And while using Matthew 19:6 to argue for polyamory is certainly possible, the biggest and best way to separate fact from fiction in a truth-based (supposedly or actually) religion is to go straight to the source material. In DnD, that's the Monster's Manual or the DM's Manual, etc. In Christianity, that's the Bible. And if there's conflict between multiple sources (NIV vs NLV vs King James versions, as an example) then try to find the most direct translation.

I'll be honest, I really want to take a tangent and bring up noted inconsistencies between the source materials of other religions, including Islam and some "Christian" cults) and the actual message they say they send, but I need to stay focused on the sermon program in front of me. Also I don't actually have the passages in question lined up already and I don't want to put in the effort to do that. Plus, love your neighbors even if you think they're wrong. Mostly because that's not the point here, and partly because I might be wrong.

Back to business: I'm not sure how to handle Corinthians chapter 6 (like I know how to handle anything in this section right?), but one of the big points here is how Luke is calling out to members of a church in Corinth, people that are choosing to become better people now that they are Christians; people who are being shown how to become better people, and are probably not having a good time right now with their non-Christian friends, who are probably making fun of them (and significantly worse) because they're "No Fun Anymore", because they're not going out and getting completely sloshed together, or are having qualms about tricking people out of their hard-earned savings, or just not having a whole lotta sex and sleeping around anymore, etc. There's a lotta things here that we villify in the U.S. today, and I'm not willing to sacrifice any kind of moral standing I have right now by editing the truth/source material, and we all agree that (excepting the Gays) everything on this list deserves to be there. So how do I handle their inclusion on the list?

I can see multiple reasons for their placement on this list, both good and bad. Some men might justify that Sex = Good, but Unexpected Kid = Bad, and Homosexual Sex = No Kid = Good! as one reason - though that also gives some a-holes "licence" to do terrible things to other men (rape, abuse, other mentally scarring things) and also sexual immorality such as sleeping around or cheating on your partner "without consequences", et cetera.

On the flip side argument, as just one, we have Eugenics. Which is good and bad for many reasons - the Good for passing on genes and lineages and so on, the bad for the fact that unlike animals our DNA has no error-checking whatsoever, and honestly just look it up and prepared to be incredibly horrified at what some people think and accept, even today. (including the FUCKING HOLOCAUST as one of the bad things.)

And now we move on to the next bit.

Can a Christian be trans?

Direct Teaching: God created us male or female, and we are to present ourselves as such (See above, and Deuteronomy 22:5)

Going back to the Hebrew, the literal translation of Deuteronomy 22:5 is: “Never cause or force a warriors weapon to be used by a woman or weak person; neither dress warriors armor on a woman or weak person for to Yahweh, God of Host, disgusting is such that do so.” Note the word used in Hebrew tow`ebah, [link]

To "transition" means to change something about yourself to reflect the gender you identify with:

Social: changing the way you dress and behave.

Hormonal: taking puberty blockers or hormone therapy.

Surgical: Having one or several procedures to change your anatomy.

The Point: the message of our culture is: healing can be found by changing your body to match your feelings; Christianity says: healing isn't found that way.

Personal thoughts:

I feel how we change and mark our bodies (tattooes, gender reassignment, etc) is up to us and our choices, because God respects our choices, and our right to make them. He gave us that right, and sticks to that self-given rule. (and if you bring up the Garden of Eden? He planned on Lucifer trying to fuck up His creations, He gave Adam and Eve the choice. That they didn't know the consequences of that choice is immaterial to this point - do we even know the consequences of our actions, half the time? Or most of the time? - He gave them a rule, He planted the Trees of Life and Knowledge without any particular barriers preventing them from eating from them beyond His command! It's right there in Genesis, the very beginning of the Bible, that Actions. Have. Consequences.)

But that leaves us with two major sticking points for me. Evolution, the mechanism by which our bodies were created (as theorized by science), left our bodies inefficient and prone to breaking, particularly when inbreeding makes any kind of play, due too the inefficiencies of the process. So improving on what's there (glasses/contacts, cybernetics, cosmetic surgery, tattoos for the the aesthetic, etc) is perfectly acceptable. But on the flip side, we have Gender Reassignment. This is where I upset people.

Gender Reassignment. Trans-masc Pyramidhead is an example of this surgical procedure that I find stupid. 80+% of his body is pure muscled masculinity. Adding surgical scars that imply his hips were actually wider than they are, or that he had significantly more estrogen in his body at one point kinda messes with his presence. And the pro-trans message one might get from viewing that picture, that piece of artwork, in isolation does not mesh at all with the fact that he is a remorseless video game monster! (also, I know nothing about Silent Hill, but his Frankenstein/Weird Concept existence, just, doesn't help in general)

And in a more real-life example?

A biological woman bottle-feeding her daughter for the first time did not have happy tears, because she physically could not breast-feed her child. Gender reassignment cut off her mammary glands when she was younger. And while voluntary, it still left her with bleeding emotional wounds when she had her child.

An old woman with Alzheimers contemplated her partner. He'd gone through reassignment while younger, and sometimes forgot significant amounts of (now) her life, such as the reassignment. On one notable example (s)he'd woken up, looked down upon the aging body, and freaked out: "What have you done to my body?!"

When I encountered that article, I had basically clicked away fast and tried to distract myself from the emotional discomfort that I was empathizing with. But now I bring it up to underscore the point.

One of the big things that came up in a recent talk with my dad (which was months ago and sounded like a bunch of conspiracy theories, included what sounded like a bunch of government/military shit that no one wants to own up to that I can absolutely believe even if I don't remember 80%+ of that), is that a lot of things we believe today was told to us by shills (liars) and hacks that don't deserve their medical degrees or et cetera. And Government/Military propaganda based not in the least in truth is certainly prevalent enough in fiction and history that we can believe they're doing it to our faces today and expecting us to thank them for it.

Humanity has told itself all kinds of lies, deluded itself with all kinds of ideas, and while I'm not trying to put anybody down, I feel that the popularization of Gender and Gender Reassignment, and the ways those things were treated by the media, is one of those. The way it got turned from a personal thing into a political thing. How some people, including and especially the creeps and politicians, tried to cash in on it while those with morals and integrity tried to keep it contained - and eventually just took a step back because of how out of control it was, those against seeing it as a degradation of their country and those for seeing themselves lumped in with terrible people and the movement itself turned into an excuse for the morally unhinged to take advantage of.

There's a reason I try to stay out of politics. Why I try to follow Caboose's example in Flamethrower's Other than the Sum of its Parts. And that reason is that anything Political is A) complicated and B) lied about. 98% of Gender Politics is completely unknown to me, as a result of those two reasons. And the other 2% I might just spew out randomly because someone I considered more knowledgeable than myself said it first.

----

Now that that's out of the way, we can get to the interesting bit.

I didn't like the first option for Deuteronomy (New International Reader's Version), so I kept looking a little further and found that. Remember how I mentioned earlier that when you're unsure of something, go to the source material?

We have the Bible in English, because it was first translated to Latin, but it started in the Hebrew.

The NIRV, when translated to plain language, says "Cross-dressing is a Sin!", but the original Hebrew is basically saying "Don't push somebody into a role they're not fit for!"

This is not confined to the LGBT community. It touches on the community, yes, but some people are made for that community, Christian and otherwise, but this verse also touches on gaslight/grooming, Toxic Masculinity/Feminity, attempts to control the universe and make it conform to your expectations, dozens of things that create trauma...

Well, at this point A) I've run out of ideas, and B) I really don't wanna look at all the shitty things this one verse covers. If you think I've listed all of them?

Oh, you sweet summer child.

Now, at this point, I think God wants to say something through me: Very Few People will benefit from Gender Reassignment.

Please Note that this is not None. And it is not limited to Physical Health Issues. But less than 1% of this world's population require it.

...and He's handing me back the mic.

So, let's look at that.

First is Reader Reaction: No. I am not doing this for attention. I've asked him to hold my hand through this, make sure my thoughts, and His Intent, comes through. This is not about me. This is about exploring His Message.

Second is population. <1% is a very small number... in statistics. In Global Population? Considering we have upwards of five Billion, just in India, then that leaves around fifty million people who can benefit from the surgery.

Third is the fact that I correct myself. It's not fifty million that can benefit, it's somewhere around that number that require it. More can benefit from it, but somewhere around... let's say twenty five million, actively need it. Who are they? God knows, I don't, nothing more needs to be said about this.

Fourth is that, while a statistically tiny number require it, more can benefit, yet Gender Reassignment isn't the only method of handling things. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph got Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh from the three wise men when Jesus was born. (which, didn't exactly last them long, because King Herod sent the Wise Men as part of a method to track down Jesus, due to fearing Jesus deposing him, and they needed to get out of the country! And they were expensive gifts, so they pawned them off and used the money to get out of there). I bring this up because, while the money was useful, it wasn't the only way they had to get out of the country. It was convenient to get outta there fast, and the Wise Men gave them the warning, but they coulda gotten outta there the slow way on foot and partially starved themselves for Jesus' sake, or hitched a ride in some caravan or with some smugglers or something. All of those were valid options - even if some of them were more attractive than others. Money and legal was still the best option of them all.

This is relevant, because while useful, gender reassignment isn't the only method of healing available. For some, Reassignment is a net neutral. For some, like the Alzheimer's patient I mentioned earlier, it can be a net negative - some good, lotta bad. And I don't know if you've noticed, but it's kinda permanent. That it's an option is, I feel, a good thing. But it's a lot easier to reprogram your mind than to surgically alter your body. Cheaper too. My suggestion? Try therapy first. You might accidentally-on-purpose dig up all sorts of things that are bothering you, and even find out that the body disphoria? It might not come from your body/self-perception/gender issues at all! (It still could, yes, but why fix the symptoms if it doesn't solve the problem? Pin down the problem first, then fix.)

Can a Christian... love and support unconditionally?

Love without conditions means acceptance without conditions, not approval without conditions.

This one is Big. No question. It means "I'm telling you not to hate the Gays. Just like you'd not hate a smoker specifically because they smoke, or an alcoholic specifically because they drink alcoholic drinks. Hate the tabacco, hate the alcohol, but don't hate the one addicted to them. Same thing is supposed to apply to The Gays."

Are you going to suddenly hate your child because they drive a Tacoma? Do you hate them because they decided they wanted nothing to do with the world's idea of gender roles, or gender at all, and decided to go completely 'genderless' and nonbinary? Are you going to hate them because they're suddenly going by neopronouns?

No?

Then why would you hate them, just because she likes girls, or he wants to marry a guy, or your nonbinary third likes them all (or no one in a romantic capacity)?

Or are you actually just that shallow?

God commanded us Christians to Love Deeply and Unconditionally. Friend, Enemy, lover, neighbor, child. To care about them all. Not to spread and perpetuate the cycle of hatred, fear, and violence.

There's a guy I knew, who turned out to be gay. I'm gay-adjacent (as in, not gay, but like it's all that hard for someone to make the mistake?), and while I know (now) that I probably handled the reveal badly enough to hurt his feelings, I didn't love/like him any less when I found out. I just tried to add a little physical distance - an unexplained act of "I respect that you are into guys, and I like you, but you're not my type". Matter of fact, I'm currently praying that he gets a partner, one who is basically a better version of me who's actually into him. (so, huggy-er than average, and willing to shower him with affection)

And this kind of command is kinda pointed at you non-Christians too. To be better than that. To be better than those who lie and deceive you for their own profit and amusement. To rise above the racism, no matter what form it takes.

To give one example of the challenge I'm handing out, I'll point you at a Tumblr story from a self-admitted tomboy I read once. (I forget the account name). She's a girl, she does guy things, and when someone from the LGBT community approached her, she told them straight out, "I'm a tomboy", and then they refused to accept that. Instead of accepting her words as shorthand for "I go by She/Her, and I do things society thinks only guys do", the other guy referred to her as a "They/Them", which really annoyed her. (also, don't @ her if you come up with her blog name, just show the post to your friends in the LGBT community as an example of "don't be like the jerks who hurt you. Instead, respect others and throw out Society's ideas of Gender Roles entirely")

-

Overall: One of the big things that stands out to me, is that it doesn't bring up Leviticus.

Leviticus 20 is, of course, the big chapter/verse people bring up when it comes to Anti LGBT speech/hatred. "An abomination to lie with another male as with a female", or whatever translation you prefer.

Doesn't really help that it's not really in-theme for that chapter to be translated as "Hate the Gays", when older translations of that passage mark it as "Don't have sex with children, and also leave animals alone when it comes to sex".

But all this also reminds us to respect each other. Our choices are our own. Us christians? We're not supposed to be here to judge you. We're supposed to be here to help guide you, show you the right way, help you up when you choose badly and fall, and help you heal. Remember the line, "You are the Salt of the Earth"? That's what it's supposed to mean.

And, yeah, we're kinda doing a bad job of it. But we're only human. Just like you.

Be safe, and love each other. With all the Evil in the world today, we're all going through our own shit. Let's not make it worse.

And, sorry for not posting for a long time? Just, haven't had anything worth posting.

[bettsfic]

just wanted to add these great tags by @maple-clef

also on a more practical/personal note, in the 8 years i've been a "professional writer" (i'm not sure what that means but it's a phrase i see sometimes in fan spheres to differentiate hobbyist writers from occupational writers and copywriters), i've earned a grand total of $25 on my writing.

but in writing-adjacent stuff like editing and teaching and grants and awards and stipends and judging contests and a million other little things, i've managed to earn a living. it's not a glamorous living. my taxes are a nightmare and i don't make a ton of money, but these writing-adjacent things all accumulate into a vaguely livable income.

if you're willing to live on a vaguely livable income where (if you're an american) you'll definitely have to be on medicaid and it would be wise for you to apply for food stamps, then this life is open to you. all you need to begin on this path is a decent writing sample, 20ish pages of prose or a handful of poems, and then you apply to a fully funded MFA program (a program that pays you to go there in exchange for teaching). in the MFA, you'll write some stuff that you might go on to publish and you'll make a lot of writer friends who are in the same boat you are. and after the MFA, you'll have a hard choice to make: do you want to scrape together a living doing odd writing-ish jobs so you always have enough time to dedicate to your work? do you want to get a day job to make sure you have a stable and predictable income, and write as much as you can on the side? or do you want to get a PhD and try your hand at a professorship somewhere that may lead to tenure?

normally i wouldn't include this as an option because the market is so awful, but my entire PhD cohort just graduated and all found full-time lectureships.

for a beginning writer, these questions and this path may seem overwhelming. there are a lot of uncontrolled variables, and you'll never be able to make a solid plan for yourself. but that's true of everything. even as a banker, the steadiest job i could imagine, i faced a nearly equal amount of doubt: i had to weather corporate politics and mass layoffs. at any moment i could have gotten fired, and my job was threatened dozens of times. but also, promotions were offered to me and a lot of opportunities arose that allowed me to grow in the company even though i wasn't great at my job. the same is true for writing: i have no idea what will happen to me. but many opportunities have been presented to me and there will be many more. on any path you choose, good things will happen. they just never look like what you think they will.

When should a beginner writer give up on writing and just find another dream?

the answer is both now and never.

don't dream of being a writer. to dream of being a writer is to dream of eating dinner in a michelin star restaurant every night of your life because you love gourmet food. you can't do that, almost no one can do that, but you can try to cook a good meal for yourself each night. you can get better at it over time by learning the recipes you love and trying new techniques. you may fail, but you always get hungry again the next day, so you try again. maybe you love it so much you decide to go to school to become a chef, and maybe you open your own michelin star restaurant. even then, you still haven't reached your dream; you've just found yourself in the kitchen instead of at a table, doing a different sort of work. or maybe you just cook for yourself and the people you love forever. either way, it's good food and you get better at making it. you're eating, you're feeding people, you're making yourself and others happy.

the first thing any MFA will tell you is, "you'll never make a living writing." that is true for 99% of writers. there are 1% of writers who get huge book deals and sell film rights and whatever, but i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, the same way i wouldn't wish a viral post on a tumblr mutual. once something breaks containment, so to speak, it becomes a nightmare.

i've quit being a writer a thousand times and i'll quit a thousand more. i reach the point where i say, i don't want to do this anymore, it's not worth it, i quit. and then i'm free to do whatever i want. and that's when i write my best work.

throw yourself a retirement party. however old you are, however long you've been writing, tell yourself, "i'm a retired writer." then go do something else for a day or a week or a year or ten years. eventually an idea will come to you that you'll want to write, and your old self will say, "that's a bad idea, that's stupid, don't write that." but no, you're retired, you can write whatever you want. you were once a commercial fisherman who spent a lifetime at sea and you decided you miss the water so you're taking out a little rowboat, you've got your little fishing pole. you won't be pulling in thousands of fish, but you might get one, and it's just for you, so you don't need more than that. you're allowed to keep it simple nowadays. you're allowed to fish for yourself.

to be a writer, all you have to do is write. write anything, write everything. write when you feel like it, stop writing when you don't. and one day you may accidentally create a book-shaped thing. or maybe you won't. the product doesn't matter. publication doesn't matter. all that matters is the process, finding joy and meaning and belonging in the thing you create.

[sapphorarelyreads]

Indian WLW/NBLW movies/series

Let's start with the oldest wlw indian movie (i know of)

1. FIRE (Movie - 1996) : By Deepa Mehta; Sita and Radha are young Indian women whose husbands choose celibacy or mistresses over their wives. This leads them to form an intimate, passionate relationship amidst a close-minded society.

2. The Married Woman (Series - 2021- Zee5 and AltBalaji) : Astha sets out on a journey of self-discovery and meets Peeplika on the route. Astha sets herself free from the society pressures and boundaries when she finds an intense connection with Peeplika, something that she always longed for.

3. Ajeeb Daastaans (Short Film - 2021 - Netflix) : Geeli Puchi; The short film on Netflix anthology ‘Ajeeb Dastaan’ talks about caste, sexuality, privilege and patriarchy in a powerful way.

4. Sheer Qorma (Short Film - 2021) : This film by a Non - Binary director, Faraz Arif Ansari and starring a Non-binary character as a lead, is a romantic drama that showcases how love is judged in society based on gender and how people have preconceived notions about sexuality. It has Swara playing the role of a Pakistani-Canadian citizen who travels to India with her lover (Divya Dutta). But Dutta’s mother, played by Shabana Azmi, finds it difficult to come to terms with her daughter’s choices.

5. Margarita with a straw (Film - JioCinema - 2014) : A rebellious young woman with cerebral palsy leaves India to study in New York. On her journey of self-discovery, she unexpectedly falls in love.

6. Ek Ladkhi Ko Dekha Tho Aisa Laga (Movie - Netflix- 2019) : Sweety hides a secret about her true love and decides to marry a writer to please her father, Balbir Chaudhary. However, chaos ensues when she decides to fight her family and society to win her love.

7. Firsts Season 3 (FilterCopy - YouTube- 2020) : Ritu and Lavanya are two women in their twenties who start living together after their second date, finding themselves in a series of firsts as they navigate life, love and more during the lockdown.

8. The Other Love Story (Web series - 12 episodes - YouTube - 2016) : The plot, set in the late 1990s/early 2000s, revolves around the relationship between two girls in an era when there were no cell phones or internet.

9. Mismatched (Netflix - Series - 2020) : Has a plotline with a wlw character. Set in a college/university summer coding program.

10. Feels like Ishq - She loves me She loves me not (Netflix - 1 episode - 2021) : A closeted advertising associate falls for an out-and-proud colleague, but her subtle efforts to confess her feelings don't go quite as planned.

note : I copied the descriptions cause i was too tired and embarrassed to write my own, sorry.

@sapphicgems @absolutebl @shorthairedbrownqueer @sapphic-in @wlwmovieclub @raiko101 @desbianherstory @moonlightsapphic @crudesco @lesbianpetekao

[beanieman]

ur blog helps me write and characterize the characters for fanfics as well :) if you don't mind, do you have any tips on how to write keiji ? it's hard for me to connect with his character, i literally don't get him akdjwkd

I don't mind at all!! Though I will apologize Anon. I got excited to be asked for writing advice and wrote...quite a bit under the cut. But I hope it helps!

Also, if anyone who likes Keiji more then I do wants to reblog and add anything to this post, feel free to! But now onto the main things I remember when writing him:

Keiji is more logical than emotional, and tends to make decisions from his brain rather than heart. However if he genuinely cares about someone he can be emotional.

Keiji's anger tends to be his most intense emotion, and it can lead him to make bad decision's like killing Megumi. So if you're going to write him in a rage that's something to consider.

Keiji has a dry sense of humor, and also uses humor to deflect from issues he doesn't like talking about.

Keiji considers death to be to good for him. In his mind he has to live with his "sin for a life" (His words not mine.) and therefore he can't die. He feels like living with what he did is his punishment for the blood he's caused.

I elaborate about these points and give examples under the cut.

I would focus on Keiji's logical side when writing him. Generally Keiji is more logical then emotional. To me he stands out as the only participant who doesn't think with their heart more than their head. (EX: Keiji dismissing doll Reko's tears as an emotion program. Keiji voting for Kanna. The meticulous way he moves the group's trust toward Sara for whatever reason.)

However Keiji also has an emotional side that I think is important to his character as well. Usually if he's acting from emotion it's because of his connection and care for the other's. (EX: Not throwing Reko under the bus when he saw her break Mishima's monitor until Gin's life was on the line. Taking the tag for Sara in the 3B emotion route. And he searches the first floor for Gin when Sara asks him to.)

So in most decision's he's logical, but if he genuinely cares for someone he's capable of acting on emotion.

But the interesting thing about Keiji is that his emotions can get him in trouble. His anger and trauma tends to cause him to make bad choice's. (EX: Killing Megumi. Ditching Sara with the sacrifice card and instead focusing on trying to kill Shin. Forcefully taking Ranmaru's tag so he can kill Midori even if that means the dolls will die too.)

His anger is pretty intense, and that's something that's worth considering when writing him. But he also has a lighthearted side.

Keiji tends to make a lot of joke's. Both because he seems to have a genuine sense of humor, and to deflect subject's he doesn't want to talk about.

His actual sense of humor is pretty dry (EX: Telling Sara that he's not a dog when she asks to sit on his shoulders to get the lightbulb from the mirror room.) But when he's deflecting he seems to want to take people off guard. (EX: Very unfortunately, calling Sara "So darn cute" is the best example I have here. He's not actually hitting on her, he's just trying to confuse her into changing the subject.)

So if something serious is going on in the plot, or Keiji wants to distract from something, he's more prone to making jokes.

On a darker note: Keiji has a weird view of death. His exact words about how he feels towards being alive are "I'm a killer. Not even permitted... to be judged by the law...A true piece of shit, burdened with my sin for life."

So he feels like his life is a burden, and that he has to keep living as punishment for what he's done. He's not at all looking to die, as we see by him voting for Kanna, but he does seem to live for self hatred rather than anything healthier. So that's something to consider if death is going to be a theme in your work.

This got long!! But I hope it helps some!!

[four-ravens-in-a-trenchcoat]

Thank you all three for the enlightening answers! It's really interesting to see how different your system is and finally understanding some things.

Using the 45 hours of work per credit metric, I did some maths and observations:

A 3 credit class in the US would correspond to a 5 hp ("higher education point", our "credits") course. That's very tiny for a whole semester course

A 4 credit course would be 6,75 hp which is less than the common course size 7,5 hp

12 credits in 15 weeks would mean an average of 36 hours a week, while 15 credits would mean 45 hours a week. This is not the same as our calculated 40 hours a week

However, you seem to have more guaranteed in-class time. I study underfunden humanities which means I have between 1,5 and 7,5 hours of in-class time a week (usually 3 or 4,5 hours though) while studying full time. We do have a lot of readings and assignment work, but for me it usually doesn't take the full 40 hours, maybe 20-24 hours a week outside of class during busier times.

It's still usually more than 2-3 hours per hour in class. For a normal 1,5-hour lecture (or 2x45 with a break in the middle I suppose) I do maybe 2-4 hours of reading, but I've also had seminairs with 8+ hours of reading. Outside reading, there's assignment work and "exam" studies (they don't work like your exams). Especially written assignments or projects with presentations take a lot of time.

The engineers who get all the money have more in-class time though, maybe because they also do labs but also probably since they have money. I'm not salty over this at all.

Your semesters are shorter than ours because we have 20 weeks. In that time we'd take what corresponds to six 3-credit courses

Engineers do take six courses a semester, but only three at a time. I usually take one course which consists of four sub-courses (4,44444... credits) studied two at a time

Your grading system seems stressful. There's similar concepts of taking averages of all grades for lower education, but not in universities. There are different grading systems used at different universities, but employers won't care about grades in univeristy only the degree.

I also don't get how you can grade say an essay from 1-100%, that's an absurdly fine grained scale. Those grades contain like two percent, how can you even distinguish such tiny nuances in a consequent way? Only multiple choice or fact questions? My university has the three possible grades pass, fail, and pass but you also did it well, much easier to judge written texts

There's also the interesting difference of gen ed requirements. We don't have those. On the other hand I think we stay a year longer in gymnasiet than high school, so maybe that's covered there a bit.

To get a bachelor's degree you need 180 hp (around 107 credits) which takes three years. Of those, 90 hp (53 credits or three semesters) need to be in your main area of study (what you would call a major I guess) and 15 of those will be a big independent study of some kind (as in you design + carry out a scientific study then write an essay/report like researchers do). Most people do a programme with set corses (with room for some flexibility and choice), but a program can also have lots of freedom like mine, or you can just pick courses

But since you have four years with shorter semesters and two years of gen ed we still get more time with our main subject I guess?

I guess the most important think I learned is that you really do take more courses at the same time for the entire semester instead of one to three larger ones at the same time which maybe switches in the middle of the semester (this term I'm taking three courses: two at 50% for half a semester each and one at 50% for the entire term, but it consists of two parallell courses so maybe I take four really). I think it's a lot nicer to only have two or three subjects to focus on at the same time.

Anyways, thanks again for taking the time to explain, I really appreciate it

Hi Reid! I have a question about the american college/uni system that I've been wondering about for a long time and you seem knowledgeable and friendly enough to maybe help: How big/long are your courses? Like, how many do you take every term? Is every course the same size? How many subjects do you generally study at the same time?

For context, I'm from Sweden and our course sizes are based on a point system, where 30 points is supposed to represent 20 weeks (a term) of full time studying (40 hours a week). It's common to take 30 point courses (usually divided into subcourses, say 4×7,5 points, two for the first half and two for the second half of a term (or 6×5 with three at a time)), but you can also pick smaller courses (usually 7,5 or 15 points taken at 50%) until you get 30 points.

I think my real question is how this translates. If people speak about a, say, linguistics 101 course, is that a 30 point or 7,5 point course? And do all your courses stretch over an entire term? Please help, I just want to know how to interpret people talking about their courseload

Hi there, sorry it's taken me a while to get to this—I've been very busy prepping for the class I'm teaching.

Every university here is different, and credits (how many points you get per class, and how many total points you need to graduate) also vary based on whether your school does quarters, trimesters, or semesters. My only experience has been with semesters, so that's what I'll focus on here.

Here, most classes are either 3 or 4 credits. A usual 3 credit class might meet twice a week for 1:15 minutes each time. A class might be four credits if it's a higher level seminar or discussion based class with a higher number of more difficult readings.

Classes that have both a lab and lecture component can be more (around 6, I think? I never took one), and then there are less difficult classes that usually only run for half the semester that might be 2 credits. For example, I took a half-semester costume design class my freshman year. Below is the official jargon that talks about how credits are determined.

The current nationally recognized standard, the Federal Credit Hour Standard, defines a three-credit course as three fifty-minute classes per week over a fifteen-week semester (including final exam week), or the equivalent (for courses using a non-traditional format such as blended or online learning). This standard assumes that each credit hour generates two hours of assigned work for every hour of in-class contact. Thus, the guiding rule is 45 hours of work per semester for each unit of credit. For laboratory courses or their equivalent, one credit hour is assigned for three hours of laboratory, workshop, studio, fieldwork, independent study, etc.

You can also (sometimes) take a class pass/fail, although usually that reduces the number of credits it is worth. Finally, you can audit a class, which means that you get access to the syllabus, do the readings, and show up, but you don't have to do any of the assignments. Audited classes are worth no credits, but they do show up on your transcript.

Our undergraduate classes are often numbered 100-400, with 100 level classes being introductory, and 400 level classes being highly specialized with prerequisite requirements. Graduate level classes are 500 or higher.

Credits are different than the grades you get. Grades are on a 4 point scale, where 4.0 would be 100%, with 70% being a 2.0 and the lowest passing grade. I'm attaching a picture of the grade breakdown from my own syllabus to show you how my current institution assigns grades to percentage points.

Most colleges/institution require you to earn a C in order to pass a class. If you get that C, you get the full amount of credits for the course, same as anyone who got an A. However, your Grade Point Average (GPA), which is calculated by taking the average of every grade you've gotten, will be lower than someone who got all As.

At most institutions, you have to take 12 credits a semester (so 4 classes for 3 credits each) in order to qualify as a full time student, which comes with certain privileges. Usually you can take up to 18 credits, although this may cost more if the school doesn't have a flat rate tuition.

Finally, with a grading system like this one, undergraduate students are expected to earn a total of 120 credits to complete their bachelor's degree.

As for course sizes, they can range from 200+ person lectures at the really big universities, to 5-12 person seminar/discussions for the higher level classes. Lab classes or more hands on options will be in the 20-30 person range. But it highly depends.

I know that's confusing. Hopefully that helps? -Reid

[ongit0]

Omg hi! I love your blog! I didn't know if your request were open, so, please, feel free to ignore this, if they aren't!

I just love how you write for Lou from Uglydolls, the poor man here he's higly undereted! So I was just gonna request more Lou! If you want of course!

I don't have much plot preferences, maybe something with a insicure/shy reader? Kinda the opposite of Lou!

Thank u, have a good day/night!

Btw sorry for any grammatical mistakes, english it's not my first language!

Of course I can do that! I’m happy to take offers whenever I can. Sorry this took so long!

Can’t Help The Inflicted

“You don’t have a reason to be shy. You’re pretty just as you are. Just, smile more.”

I was sure everything was a lie. Pretty dolls are always good at lying. So when Louis came to me one day and offered me the position to work for him I couldn’t say no, not to Lou at least. No one can. How could you say no or tell someone so perfect that they were doing the wrong choice?

I stared dead ahead, one foot stepping before the other in Grace. My hid being perfect was taking a toll on me which I was grateful no one noticed. It’s almost like living a double life, an endless loop of lying to myself that I must be careful from stains, spills or smudges. I can’t let anyone know how stupid I am — or worse, how stupid Lou could’ve to even choose me. He has an image to keep. I couldn’t screw up in any way or form. So, I always hid behind the 4 girls: Maddy, Kitty, Tuesday and Lydia.

If there’s any job to take besides working beneath Lou’s watchful gaze, always on the look out for any flaws, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Lawyer, doctor, engineer — anything! I’d trade my spot for one of the girls than continue to work next to Lou. He wasn’t unbearable, no, far from it. I just cousins bare the reminder how I lied my way into this position. I couldn’t bare the thought of thinking how much of a phony I am that I lied so hard through my teeth to get a fake image of myself into his head that I’m so perfect. Too perfect that I reached someone’s expectation that Lou “just had to have me work with him”.

Through few glimpses of clarity I have, I’m able to take the time and get a break. I can’t help but hate myself. From the stuffing I was born from and the threads that made me — self loathing of how much of a people pleaser I am. The moment someone grants any acknowledgement to me I can’t help but fix myself into getting so close to what I see as perfection.

I should have graded with Maddy our event director or Kitty, our program hostess executive. Hell, I could have been the communication executive like Tuesday or the interior and fashion designer for the doll’s homes and transa like Lydia. Why should I be stuck as Lou’s secretary? Was this a form of punishment for lying so much? Did I bite more than I can chew? My lies had zero bad intentions! I just did them to save face — I can’t risk to be sent to the recycling bin or get set on for a spin in the washing machine. Or worse, thrown into the incinerator!

I had to be perfect, plan out my schedule for Lou and I. It was starting to drain me in every form. I was the second face ever doll idolized. “Why me?” I found myself repeating over and over again. Each day was a trial, hiding and masking any flaws the best I could. If not from the other dolls, I had to hide any imperfections from Lou.

I fixed any crooked or stained on my now pearly whites, cut through any extra stuffing in me. I stayed quiet, living in Lou’s shadow in complete silence. I couldn’t let him know the several voice cracks I go through a day if I talk for too long. They get worse when I talk to him specifically, stuttering over my own tongue. I couldn’t let myself get judged so, I let Lou take control. From him doing all the talking to making all our choices. I gave up any freedom I ever had. I wasn’t sure what to do with that freedom — I would just end up spending the rest of my days having to stress over perfecting any hobbies.

“Thank you all so much for attending! Stay away from messes and stay perfect!” He winked at the crowd after his announcement of the Gauntlet. The date had to be moved once the Uglydolls arrived.

Lou glanced over at me as he twirled on the heel of his shoe. He skipped down the stairs with soft steps, his shoe clicking on each way down. I was a few steps behind him, letting everyone’s eyes pry on him. I couldn’t let them undress me or address any flaws I hid terribly.

I averted my gaze from everyone as we made it to Lou’s office. He sighed with his hands behind his back, looking out his large office window. He stared down at the soft orange sun setting behind the tiny white town homes. I took a gulp and deep breath. All day I think I forgot how to take an actual breath. I tense feeling in my soft plush body left as soon as the wind left through my puckered lips. I glanced over to see one of Lou’s hands not balled up into a fist.

I read through Lou like a book. I’ve worked countless shifts in order to be perfect. I stepped forward, placing my hand in his. I frowned at how soft his hands were compared to my large ones. I couldn’t help but eye at our slight height difference. Despite Lou being the perfect height for any doll to achieve, I was the tallest. God, I want to just crumble away or cover my face with a hoodie. I wanted to slip away from him, not wanting him to touch such imperfections. But I couldn’t allow him to see how — “Nervous?” He chuckled. “Hm?” I turned my head to him. “No, no not that. More like, it’s amazing to be with you…” I mentally face palmed myself for my stammering lips. I have a small timid smile, careful to not show my teeth too much. He smiled back. “You’re amazing in every way. Well, almost.” He let out a tiny scoff. He seemed to take pleasure at the frown on my lips. “You’re a terrible liar.” I averted my eyes, taking in any last breaths I could take before insults came down storming on me.

Instead of stabbing me with his words and sweet honey voice, he dropped his arms at his side. I could still feel his blueberry eyes on me. I wish I could open my mouth and strike something out but I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to stare at me, especially how close we are. I don’t want him to stare any harder before he sees how I see myself. The blemishes in my cheek, the freckles scattered on my wrist, ears and face.

I slightly jolted up at Lou softly tugging on my long doll arm. He led us to his piano bend. As we settled next to each other, he scooted close enough to hold my arm. I sighed, taking his hand in mine. “What would I do without you?” He muttered softly but clear enough for me to hear him. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” I asked. “It can go both ways.” Silence filled the room. I leaned back ver to his touch, feeling a crooked smile creep on my lips.

“Thank you for not seeing me as just an idol but as a doll.” The blonde said quickly, hoping I was stupid enough to not pick up his pacing of words. ‘Shouldn’t I be the one thanking you?’ I felt slow forming tears well up in my eyes which I quickly blinked back inside. The burning feeling on my cheeks didn’t subside, especially when he’s hooked on my arm and holding my hand and softly poking his finger tips to my own. He seemed amused with playing with my fingers. I didn’t want to ruin this moment with my voice. His concentrated and fixed gaze of admiration was something I practically lived for. It’s beautiful to stare at those blue eyes of his but I immediately twist my head away once those same blue eyes turn to my direction.

“You’ll always be the most beautiful doll in my eyes. Perfect in your own way.” Fuck, I screw up. Big time. I know it.

He didn’t turn to face me. His chest stopped moving at his steady breathing and instead slightly sunk inwards. I mentally cursed at myself. I could feel him tighten his grip on me, pressing his cheek on my shoulder. His sudden soft laugh got caught in the strings of my heart. “I’m beautiful?” He looked up at me with a slightly raised eyebrow and flirtatious gaze. Those same eyes, they were fixed with admiration. I knew that look so much. I was nearly speechless when I came to realized that he was staring at me.

We were all so focused on the Institute of Perfection’s quotas of “Pretty Dolls”, I’m starting to doubt where the hell I heard the word beautiful from. Even if I was unsure where I heard it from or how I was supposed to address it in my stammering sentences, from the bottom of my heart I said the truth to him.

“Yes.” I said with confidence. The red color on our faces spread even more. We both looked down at our hands, unsure how to approach what I said. It’s not every day you get acknowledged as something so precious like a doll or looked at or even noticed by someone as perfect as Lou.

Isn’t it stupid how 2 dolls are so insecure found each other? Seeking validation from each other and reassurance despite not being able to believe in the other’s words? Two insecure dolls — one just being better at hiding it while the other hides in the shadows like a loser.

I know I’m sometimes a shutout but I’m not stupid Lou.