#don't mind me i'm just feeling a little nostalgic and remorseful

[andromeda3116]

for some unfathomable reason, i've been thinking a lot lately about this insane comedic original story i started when i was first at college and didn't have internet, way back in 2008, and i went back and tracked it down (on Ye Olde LiveJournal, which hauntingly still exists in the aether) and like. i still kinda have a fondness for it. it's ridiculous and extremely 2008, both in terms of being dated and in terms of who i was a person then, but i still kinda wish i'd ever finished it. the idea has milled about in my head of actually handling the concept now, as an adult, but tbh, i don't think it would really translate into my style now. it just exists as an artifact of my sense of humor circa age seventeen.

i can still remember being the person who wrote it, sitting in that dorm at that desk on that dinosaur laptop and you know, sometimes i still miss her.

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[snellyfish]

(duck) THOUGHTS!! THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 10-11!! NOW!! I AM SHAKING YOU VIOLENTLY PLEASE TELL ME

OHOGHGOH MY GOSH OK OK OK you know how funny it was for like 2 days straight after we FINALLY caught up i just kept saying "i have to go write out my thoughts on drdt and feed my anons (mostly with you in mind)" every few hours with nothing but "i thought you already did that??" in response, cue me being like "no but like for real this time"

I also give my best wishes to the creator of DRDT, you've given us such a fun story with fun characters and I hope you the best on recovering, resting, and focusing on yourself. If we never get another episode that is a-ok, I'll be very sad but only because I truly appreciate the art and writing for a wonderful story that you've given to us all for FREE. Thank you for that<3 For clarity and reference, this whole ramble is written with the intention/presumption that we will get more chapters, though I'm not getting my hopes up

!!!!! DRDT EPISODE 10 AND 11 SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!

Also just an insane wall of text in general, jfc, you have been warned

Ok so first of all, I'll say what everyone's really here for:

Sorry, I personally fucking LOVED the twist, no significant complaints with it; it's a character trope I ADORE and more than I ever could've asked for to come from such a blorbo as David

Sorry, yes, I am also unfortunately down bad for him, HOWEVER-

Extremely happy that David wasn't the killer because we get to see more of this little freak in action in the next chapter, I can't even tell you how excited I am for his character omgomgomgomg I love horrible fucked up manipulative freaks so much. I also don't blame anyone for not enjoying his character anymore (especially if you liked the trope of his preconceived notion of a character) but like, me personally I can appreciate any character no matter the morals (the less the better imo) as long as they're written in an interesting and compelling way.

The way David is so horrendously straight-forward about everyone else just being a funny little pawn to him with absolutely no remorse (genuinely hope he never gains any empathy or I'll be a little upset ngl (well…depends on how it's done I GUESS!!)) makes his seemingly multi-layered character into….. something one-dimensional (/pos /GEN!!! one-dimensional is NOT a bad thing if it's a cool dimension that causes fun character conflicts) but the WAY they introduce this static ruthlessness to him is just;;;; CHEFS KISS. He's still a layered character, sure, two-faced freak running the long con, but his true self is just so reprehensibly remorseless it's hard to see ANYTHING under it

We were also both dying of laughter in the first episode how David had a really long horribly winded speech about fucking,,,,,,God knows what,,,, And no one acknowledged it and me n my bestie were just fucking whale eyeing each other like "SO IS NO ONE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT? WE'RE JUST GONNA STEAMROLL RIGHT OVER HIS MINI PSYCHOTIC BREAK? OK" Not to be salty but GUYS.. Anyone who genuinely believed David was a good person and were shocked with the twist I…I'm sorry …… I'm sorry that we did not watch the same character introduction …. I've been on team two-faced David from the start that's my manipulate mansplain manwhore right there, babe! If you don't love him at his X you don't deserve him at his Y

Erm erm erm also thought it was hilarious when David was droning on after his big real reveal because, even though I was having a great time with it, I was also just repeatedly muttering "the fish…..?" looking around like the john travolta gif "the fish? the fish? guys, the fish? can we talk about the fish? im dying to talk about the fish" AHGHGAGAHA AND JUST GETTING SO FRUSTRATED WHEN EVERYONE FINALLY BROUGHT UP THE FISH AND WERE LIKE "OH EM GEE THE LIAR IS LYING ABOUT KILLING AREI??? DAS SO CRWAZY" Old school Danganronpa feeling of screaming at the characters denseness, so nostalgic, I DID ENJOY IT, IT WAS FUNNY, I HAD A GOOD TIME HAHA I loooove characters who lie for no good reason only to benefit themselves and have a good time while others suffer (Kokichi doesn't count + I don't like him (also stop comparing David to Kokichi you guys are insane and don't understand character nuance SOWWY))

My apologies I'm still like keeling off [MULTIPLE SUBSTANCES OF VARYING LEGALITY] so DON'T tell me if this is incomprehensible or not because I'm speaking straight from the heart and the heart says I won't him. This reminds me that for the entire time he was having his MAIN psychotic break (especially in the animation) my best friend wouldn't stop fucking muttering in distress "I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM" I had to tell him to shut the fuck up even though I was also internally very much not normal. We should both be shot.

Still think David and Hu should kiss. I think now more than ever they should kiss. Maybe make out.

Actually do you know how many times I said "Shut up, Hu." during these two episodes?? It was at least 5 I was getting SO mad at her for like no good reason, I don't even remember WHY exactly but I think her mom friend energy was getting TOO motherly and I'm no longer appreciating the particular WAY she mothers people, i.e. picking favorites + taking accountability for said favorites + defending them blindly and naively but in weirdly elitist way etc etc etc.. Very typical of Snellyfish to ship toxic men with female characters they don't like. Maybe I should look into my soul for this one, doesn't seem like,,,healthy, or something. I'll write my own callout post for me on that one dw.

Also I'm not necessarily saying Hu has bad writing or a wholly unlikeable personality at all btw, I am interested to know Why she's like that, I just gotta get over the hill of disliking her rn. Uber sweetie characters like that can just get on my nerves is all. She's also definitely got the secret motive for having multiple Attempts, huh? Give us your backstory queen,,,, I promise to like you a little more if you can bring a lil tear or two to my eye,,,,,,, I think my main thing with her is that she's like the most NORMAL of the group LMFAO

Either way, Huvid real. Sorry, but it shouldn't be surprising, I'm a Verturo shipper after all, it's in my natur-

SPEAKING OF VERTUROOOOOHHHH MY GGOOODDDDD I ATE SOOO DAMN GOOD. NO CRUMBS LEFT, I WAS GOING CRAZY. GOOD GOD CHRIST ALMIGHTY. The way that Veronika was the ONLY mf defending Arturo and he was like "girl you're making me look BAD" was so fucking funny, I am so horribly obsessed with their dynamic it's unreal

Not to "omg as a veronika kinnie-" for the millionth time but GIRL-- the way that I've said in the past Multiple Times that I hope both Arturo and David get worse and worse in an irredeemable way (mostly David, I kiiiinda want some nice Arturo content maybe one day 😳), and to have Veronika in like the same episode (I think) pivot back and forth towards both Arturo AND David in a "ohhh you're horribly fucked up I hope you never get better because I want in your brain NOW!!! let me IN!!!!!! THE TOXIC FUMES ARE CALLING TO ME LIKE A SWEET SWEET SIREN!!!!!!!" I think all three of them should also hold hands and kiss and--

OH. OH OHH. ARTURORRROOOO God as a general fuckin stan of all three Arturo + Veronika + David I ATE SO DAMN GOOD IT'S BEEN CRAZY TO CONTAIN MY THOUGHTS LMAO, had to stew on this one before writing it all out y'see. I definitely want to rewatch this chapter sometime because I know I've consumed it pretty mindlessly and a lot goes over my head. EITHER WAY.

Arturo backstory real??? Arturo's breakdown about his sister and how it's not his fault?? Not your fault in what way? Blushes and bats my eyelashes and holds your latex glove hand. plink plink. <-- sound of me batting my eyelashe.s. I was also incredibly normal when he straight up pulled a scalpel on Eden Kai Satou style, really really sane I didn't make monkey sounds or ANything like that, you guys. trust me.

In general I try not to give too hard of a time on DRDT's writing because it's like,, a passion project, obviously not professionally done, just a happy little writer writing their happy little characters AND I APPRECIATE AND RELATE TO YALL SO MUCH FOR THAT;; But I do have to finally properly mention how I frequently face the problem of a very consistent flow of characters being very straightforward, telling instead of showing, and making things just very awkward seeming? I bring this up mostly because of the Eden/Arei scene. Don't get me wrong I LOVE that dynamic and I LOVE what could've been between them in their friendship (🌈?) but I also wish that they didn't write Arei to so boldly claim like "I've been a manipulative bitch" or something like that, I guess I just don't feel that it's the kind of thing someone (especially like her, even with her breakdown-breakthru with David) would be able to articulate so clearly, and accept so honestly in such a short timeframe; I dunno. I've felt this way with a lot of dialogue even just in the prologue/introductions sections, wherein characters speak like they're Just Characters and know exactly how to word things like robots and just don't speak like Real people half the time. Whateva. That's my nitpick. I definitely think the dialogue has gotten better but the Arei thing ticked me off, but, I think her self-awareness might just be a crucial part of her character I'm not picking up on enough so,,,,augh, might just be me, honestly! I'm not the greatest writer myself so 🙏 feh!

Can't wait to figure out if I ship Arturo and J or not. Feel insane about it. Every time they talk I'm like DO I??? DO I SHIP IT??????? LOOKS AROUND AT THE AUDIENCE

GUYS I'LL BE REAL I'M STILL SO LOST ON WHO THE FUCKING KILLER IS LMAO!!!!!!! Entirely forgetting everyone's alibis right now so I can't really say who I'm leaning towards because they could be completely safe and I'm just dense and didn't pay enough attention. My b.

Even though Ace is one of my top fav characters I can feel myself getting steadily less and less interested in him just because all of his energy is going into the stupid Nico/Levi situation and I'm like SO sick of it Actual. I know it's mostly because I don't personally like Nico or Levi AND because this shit keeps getting brought up with no resolution nor any progress and it's like BRO.. I'M SICK OF IT. The amount of times they would bicker and I'd say "I'm sick of this drama." and then strategically zone out in self-defense was kind of funny. ACE DEFINITELY HAD SOME REALLY GOOD PARTS IN THESE EPISODES OUTSIDE OF THAT THOUGH GHGHHG HE KEEPS ME HOOKED, THAT DAMNED SMILE, as a chihuahua lover myself I can never stray too far from Ace's light, he's so fucking funny and I love his dynamic with David-- oh no, I love his dynamic with David........... Looks at my palms.

As always: Charles<3 I have such a funny relationship with him because it's like, he's not one of my top favs by any means, doesn't stand out the most for my particular taste, but I also have literally no reason to dislike him and he's just written GOOD, so whenever he shows up and has a nice scene or a nice line I just go "ah,,,,,,, charles<3" Not a single negative thought about him. He's like a sister to me. This isn't true I have many negative thoughts about my sister but you know!

I THINK THAT'S IT. THERE YOU GO. FEAST, MY ANONS, ASSUMING ANYONE HAS THE WILL TO READ THIS IN IT'S ENTIRETY HAHAHAHA. Time to go watch Demon Slayer Season 3!!!!!!

[fancysimpinghere]

Euphories pt.4 (Sykkuno x reader)

Well, hello everyone! I want to deeply apologize for such a long break in posting there. We all know how hard life can sometimes be. But I arrived with a finish of this story and I hope you will like it! Enjoy!

summary: all good things eventually come to the end and insecurities aren't helping. Adult life is hard, so are decisions. Even if mistakes happen, there would be something to do to fix your frienship. And who knows, maybe things would evolve into something deeper and more advanced than simple relation between friends?

It has been two months since your first encounter with this pretty boy. Luckily, your schedule wasn’t that busy in summer months, so you could visit Thomas in his grandfather’s shop at least twice a week. Your friendship was blossoming, you both surprisingly had a very good contact. When you visited the shop, Thomas usually was waiting for you with one of the magic cassettes, but sometimes he was just showing you around. Actually, you found yourself almost working with him, because you were helping him with unpacking new items, organizing things and cleaning. It was very fun for both of you - you could spend more time together and get to know each other. But you had your own job as well, and summer time was slowly ending. You knew that if you want to keep seeing Thomas, you have to bring your friendship to another level and start to meet up outside. Little did you know that he rarely left shop or house. These places were his comfort zone and You didn't want to push him to do something really demanding. You decided to give him some time to get accustomed to your presence in his life and let Sykkuno make this important step. All you could do then was wait and do your best to gain his trust even more than you had already. When holidays ended, you were sad, because that means less free time - and less time spent with Thomas. But you still came to his shop, even if you were tired or had to sacrifice your sleep time. Sometimes you helped his grandfather with some simple chores, made some cookies for them both or just kept him company - you knew that older people seek attention from others and you couldn't say no to him. But to be honest, it was difficult to bring together your new lifestyle with your old one. Of course you liked Sykkuno, and you felt about him a little different than an ordinary friend - you liked him more and this was also not easy. You were afraid that if he found out about your little secret, it would scare him away and you would lose him as a result. Day by day you were trying to shove your feelings away and focus on helping him, but every moment spent with Thomas started to feel like too much for you. You were worried if he noticed small changes in your behaviour, but he seemed fine. Because of that, you started to lose yourself in work - your amount of free time dropped almost to the bare minimum because of afterhours, and even if you had a free day, you were too tired to visit your friend.

On the other hand, Thomas was internally freaking out. In the end of holidays he started to catch feelings for you, but was too afraid to admit it even to himself. He enjoyed your company a little bit too much, and you started to look better than before in his eyes. But he was sure that you are too good to him and you deserve better than a shy boy with nothing to offer. So he was amazed that you still visited him after your work started and spent your precious time with him. He was absolutely affected by your kindness and willingness to help.

He knew that if he wants to keep you even as a friend, he has to do something. You were his only friend and after these months spent together, he couldn't imagine his life without you. So when you started to visit his shop less often, he felt hopeless. Sykkuno was sure that he bored you out of his life because of his strange addiction to video games and antisocial lifestyle. He didn’t know what to do. His low self-esteem was not helping him with putting his thoughts together. After the first two weeks without your visit to his home or shop, he was devastated. Nothing from his special collection of games and films could make him completely happy anymore, because his thoughts were occupied by you. But one day, when he was organizing his special cassettes, a movie caught his eye. When he read the title, an idea sprung to his mind and he was that desperate for your presence, he almost instantly made a decision.

*********************************************

You started to feel a bit nostalgic when you were looking through the window at falling snowflakes. It was the first snow of the year, so you were also a little bit excited. But when you were sitting in a small cafe in your town, a cup of hot chocolate in front of you, memories slowly creeping from the back of your head. Memories of sad past months, but also of warm and joyful summer. But the most important thought in your mind was the reason for your presence in the cafe. Your fingers unconsciously wandered on the screen of your phone to once again open a message from your friend Thomas. You had strong remorse for leaving him alone and don't contacting him in almost a month. You didn't know what to expect from today's meeting with him, but you were shocked that he invited you to a public place, where there could be a lot of people. Your line of thinking was cut, when small bells over the door frame rang and someone entered the cafe. You guessed it was your company for today - hood covered his head and his face was covered by black mask, but you were sure that this is your friend, whom you haven't seen for almost 2 long months. You noticed his lack of gloves - his hands were red from the cold temperature outside. He still got snowflakes on his massive hoodie, but they were melting away. Even if you felt a little bit awkward, you felt a strange warmth in your chest at the sight of him. You longed to hear his soft voice and laugh, and your heart squeezed just at the thought of it.

He paused for a while to look for you among other people present at the cafe and his gaze finally met yours. He shyly headed towards you and slowly pulled off his hood and mask, so you could recognize him as you haven't done it already. Even from a distance you could say that he was nervous, his hands were making some awkward movements and his eyes shifted from one person to another, like he was expecting somebody to attack him. Finally he was standing right in front of your table and you felt terribly for leaving him with poor excuses about work. He looked bad, just as you - sleepless nights put their marks on your face and you recognized them on his face too. Before he could say anything, you stood up immediately, and reduced the distance between you two. You looked him deep in the eye and hugged him carefully to not scare him. You didn’t care about other people, because you especially chose a more private area of the cafe, in the corner and a massive part of it was covered by plants. You felt Thomas tensing up after you embraced him, but after a few seconds he relaxed and hugged you back.

- "I'm so sorry, Sykkuno." - whisper left your mouth before you could think about forming a more developed sentence, but these words were only one in your mind right now. - "I missed you so much."

At these words he hugged you tighter and you could swear that he smiled like he always did when he was embarrassed.

- "I missed you too." - he whispered back, straight to your ear. You felt butterflies waking up in your stomach at his closeness and blushed a little.

- "It’s nice to- nice to see you, hm." - he stuttered a little and moved his arms away from you, so you did the same. You both sat down and you looked at his face again. Small blush creeped his cheeks, but it could be from the temperature change. - "I was afraid that you wouldn't have time for… For me."

He looked at you like a lost puppy and you felt awful. But before you could say something, he gave you a very warm and wide smile.

-"But you had and I'm happy about it." - he said and started to look for something in his pockets. - "I know that you are a very hard working person and I wanted to thank you for helping me and my grandfather despite this." - it was the longest sentence you ever heard from him, so you were a little bit speechless, but he looked like he wanted to say something more. However, you felt guilty and you had to apologize to him properly.

- "Thomas, I’m sorry. "- you interrupted before he could continue. - "I'm sorry for non contacting you in days and I know it was wrong. I… I can explain why I did this."

- "You don't have to. "- He answered and his search finished with success, because he placed down something rectangular on the table. - "I asked you for a meeting, because I realized something during the past months. And I can't keep this a secret any more."

He was looking even more nervous now. He hid his hands in the sleeves of his hoodie, because they were trembling a little. You also noticed that his face is clearly and non deniable red almost like a tomato, and he was a little bit hesitant when speaking. You decided to not interrupt him this time, and you also felt nervous. He looked at the window to search for the right words or find the courage, you assumed. But then he suddenly returned his gaze to you.

- "What is it, Thomas?" - you asked softly to encourage him to share his thoughts with you. You decided to use his real name to show you are taking him seriously. Deep in your heart you felt a little spark of hope, but you didn't want to make expectations and then be dissapointed. You watched his movements carefully, your eyes dropping to the item lying before him, and you finally recognized the thing. It was a cassette thanks to which you could know him. Your mouth opened in surprise and when he noticed that, he smiled coyly, but stress was still recognizable on his face.

- "I wanted to tell you for a long time, but… I… I couldn’t find the courage. But now, I decided that I have to do this." - words left his mouth faster than usual, and his eyes nervously watched your reaction. He sighed and blinked a few times. -" You are my best friend, my only friend, but I realized I like you a lot more than that."

You were completely speechless. You didn't even imagine this scenario - it was too perfect to be real, but there you are. Your mind exploded with a sudden wave of joy and happiness, because the dearest person you know just admitted to liking you back. You smiled sincerely to him and he had to notice a spark of joy in your gaze, because he stopped talking and just watched you with his big eyes.

- "Thomas, I like you too. "- you said in answer, honestly looking into his eyes. -" I didn’t know how to tell you, so I distanced myself fro you, because I didn’t want to scare you or… "- you didn’t finish and all of sudden felt embarrassed for your lack of initiative.

- "I thought it would be nice to talk about it in the place where our friendship started. "- he said slowly and carefully moved the cassette on the table towards you. He looked down for a second, then returned your gaze. He looked more determined than before and smiled at you once again. You could look at his smile forever - there was nothing more cuter than his expressions.

- "So…Would you like to accompany me on this journey?" - he asked softly and pulled out his hand to you from the sleeve. He watched your reaction carefully.

- "Yes, I definitely would." - You giggled and blushed a little, but gently grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his.

He tightened his grip on your hand and you both touched the cassette with your other hands. The world started to spin, and even when you started falling down, all you could feel in this moment was falling in love with this cute, lovely boy, soon to be your boyfriend, who held your hand like his life depended on it and laughed at the strange sensation. You couldn't help and joined him, looking forward to experiencing the best adventure - and you were certain that it would be the best, because you had the greatest companion in the whole world.

~fin~