#don't think just run.{ic.}

[briskchips]

Hairstyles

[quatregats]

Thinking a lot of thoughts about Hornblower's relationships with Barbara and Maria as a metaphor for his larger relationship to social mobility and ambition, and I think there's actually a lot there - not sure if it was intentional, but I do think that whether intentionally or inadvertently, Forester did an interesting job with the parallels.

Quick note beforehand that some of this is based on my constant brief paging through C. Northcote Parkinson's Hornblower "biography", which, while I absolutely abhor his interpretation of Hornblower, gives even more food for thought on this point. I'm also leaning more into his interpretation of Hornblower's background and childhood, as opposed to the TV show's, so it might not work if you're coming from the TV show's perspective.

Parkinson takes Forester's comment that Hornblower was a "doctor's son" to mean that he was the son of an apothecary, rather than a physician like in the show. I'm not a historian of the period, so I would be hard-pressed to actually try to fit Hornblower's father within the 18th-century framework of medical practice, but either way, given his awkwardness around upper-class life and that he seems to have grown up in rural Kent, I think that Parkinson's claim that he was the son of an apothecary, rather than a physician, does have some reasonable foundation, or is at least equally plausible (to me) as the show's.

Hornblower struggles with poverty through most of the series, especially the first half, but even when he is barely scraping by, such as at the start of Lieutenant, this does not seem to be an abnormal state; and when he finally arrives at wealth and success, he constantly wishes to go back to the days when he was a penniless lieutenant, so from this we might also surmise that he did not come from wealth. (I'm also comparing especially to Jack Aubrey, who, while he admittedly makes a hash of coming into large amounts of money, and who also lives perfectly happily on very little, is clearly quite comfortable being the "lord of the manor" by comparison.)

One of the biggest changes in the second half of the series (from The Happy Return/Beat to Quarters onward) is that Hornblower's career comes into fruition; he becomes a decorated Captain, a member of the landed gentry, a Knight of Bath, a Peer, and finally an admiral, and marries into an enormously influential family. He's constantly in conflict about this, until he isn't: he wants to become someone powerful and important, except that he doesn't like the role once he gets it, and constantly wishes about the old days, then feels guilty for wishing for them. Most importantly, he seems to become less and less himself, his mental narrative getting more and more distorted as he tries to mold himself into the person he thinks he wants to be.

I don't think this is a particular novel interpretation, but I think that in light of this, the contrast between his marriage to Maria and his marriage to Barbara is very interesting. If he was an apothecary's son, his and Maria's marriage would make a decent amount of sense - they'd be from similar social backgrounds, and probably a reasonable match, if Hornblower's career had continued as expected. Hornblower feels comfortable around Maria at the start of their friendship and the very beginning of their marriage in a way that mirrors his comfort with the life he's living at that point - which is to say that he clearly knows and understands what's expected of him and how to interact, in clear contrast with later books. But on the other hand, for all that he originally does love Maria, Hornblower comes to find her to be coarse, unrefined, and boring, and feel that she is not good enough for the person he wants to become. It's at the point when he starts to feel that he's moved passed Maria that he begins to take on his new, ambitious, performative persona.

On the other hand, Hornblower feels stiff and uncomfortable around Barbara from the beginning of their relationship, notably for reasons of class, and even in later books, consistently sounds intimidated by her poise and upper-class untouchability. With Maria he doesn't feel enough for her; with Barbara he feels too much, an almost uncouth sentimentality. He craves Barbara's status like a man drowning, but can't hold up under the weight of what it would mean. They have very strong intellectual chemistry, but socially they are a disaster of a couple, and yet nonetheless, Hornblower continues with the marriage because it feels to him like the thing he ought to do, just as he ought to become squire of Smallbridge. He's so viscerally uncomfortable with his position in the later books in a way he wasn't even at the height of his earlier miseries, but he refuses to let himself admit that his ambitions might have led him astray.

I think it's also interesting that the relationship which Hornblower arguably finds the most fulfilling (or rather, it was written very poorly if Forester wanted to make it feel fulfilling for the reader, but nonetheless it was clearly meant to be the most fulfilling for Hornblower) is his relationship with Marie, who sits at a similar odd juncture to him. In the text, Forester says outright that Marie fulfills Hornblower's interest in upper-class women (ambition) while not intimidating him, yet still being a satisfying intellectual partner. Nonetheless, just as Marie and Hornblower can never actually end up together, Hornblower can never actually be comfortable with his position, and no matter how many times he tries to find solace in her, he is eventually forced to continue down the path that he began, making up with Barbara and fully taking up the mantle of Admiral and Peer of the Realm.

In short, I think that watching the way in which Hornblower's relationship with Maria evolves over the course of the early books and the way in which his relationship with Barbara takes up after that ends up being a very neat parallel to his own ambitions and class identity. With Maria he is at home, but bored and restless; with Barbara he gets everything that he wants, but feels like a fish out of water. I think that particular parallel is part of the particular tragedy of Hornblower - he can't ever be satisfied with the person he was, or the person he's become. But I think that adding in aspects of extreme class difference - even more class difference than the general trends of social mobility during this period - also helps to elucidate the fundamental tension which drives Hornblower forward as a character. The world he came from was too small for him; the world in which he moves now is far too big; but there's no in-between option. He has to choose what he wants to be, and sacrifice some part of himself in order to do that, and in light of this reading of him, I think that there's a lot of interesting dilemmas to be raised.

[sukibenders]

The way people are becoming anti-children nowadays is really sad. And I'm not talking about people not wanting to have kids of their own, that's fine and something that shouldn't be shamed nor up to someone else to debate. No, I'm talking about the people who adamantly hate these little humans for simply existing, wanting to ban them from spaces due to them having emotional reactions that they are still learning to understand (you know, the kind of lessons that everyone had to learn and figure out at one point). It's gotten to the point where I've even seen these types of people genuinely support children being harmed and deny their hurt under the consensus of "Well then maybe they shouldn't be there," in your average public space. Like, imagine thinking hating on children, people who need assistance and guidance, is something to be proud of.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I think of so many stupid shenanigans between Wriothesley and his daughters in the Addison Lee verse. They tell Wriothesley crazy shit all the time, their daddy-daughter secrets, and it drives Neuvillette nuts that Wriothesley won't snitch.

Sigewinne, whispering into his ear: Today at school I punched a boy because he was being mean. I waited until it was recess, and made sure that no one was watching, and I punched him. Everyone knows he is a liar, so noooo one believed him when he cried about it. And Sigewinne is aaaalways a superstar so Mr Vautrin didn't suspect a thing !

Wriothesley, mildly concerned: Uh huh.

Sigewinne: Papa would say Sigewinne has to be nice to everyone, but, Sigewinne thinks bullies need to get punched sometimes, b'cos, b'cos otherwise, they think everyone is just gonna let them be mean

Wriothesley: Y'know what. That's fair

[byanyan]

when will my motivation & energy for writing return....

[pinkyjulien]

Valentin & Mitch | 645/?? | Lifepath AUs 🌵🌆💻 ▶ Lifepath template by @arcandoria 🧡

[solidwater05]

I love when teachers ask me to get stuff for them because I get to run around school. It's enrichment

[vvelegrin]

you know, it's really interesting. i think i've found it. i've found the mystical Work Accommodation that i need in order to Do It*. and it's "drop whatever i'm doing at a moment's notice to disappear for an arbitrary amount of time**"

[astrocassette]

i don't play crk but i have friends that do and last night i dreamt i was desperately scouring the wiki for a "strong as fuck ice mummy" cookie. made me wake up laughing at 6am so i had to draw them

post my subconscious is referencing under the cut

[abyssembraced]

Vee's public floor had been her pride and joy, once. Kids loved it! They loved the trivia quizzes, the prizes they'd win, and even for the visitors who weren't confident enough to put their knowledge to the test, the arcade sections were always bustling with activity. As far as she was concerned, it was the best place Gardenview had to offer. She'd always poured countless hours into making it that way.

But now? It was empty. Lifeless.

The lights were permanently dimmed. Puddles of ichor littered the ground. The only "guests" left to pay a visit were the unwelcome Twisted husks that shambled about, wandering aimlessly in search of living Toons to chase and hunt.

This wasn't the first time she'd been back to her floor since the start of the Ichor Operation, and all things considered, the place was actually in decent shape compared to some of the other abandoned locations in the Center. But... All the Twisteds were away from her right now. She had a moment of peace. Some time to take in just how far the place had fallen from its former glory.

...A moment of peace, but not quiet. Familiar, grainy voices crackled from a television above her, and Vee couldn't help but draw her gaze to the animation it displayed.

"𝙵𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗!"

"𝙽𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘?"

"Mmmhh...... Six!"

"DING-DING-DING!"

Ugh.

She looked away with a grimace.

Sure, Winning Big wasn't the worst episode she starred in. Hell, the promotion poster for an even worse one was plastered all over the walls of this very floor. (She never had been able to convince anyone to take those down.)

But still, did this scene really have to be part of the only show footage to survive the shutdown?

[krashing-starz]

hey dude i'll be back in a minute. yeah i'm good ive just got to explode my mom w/ my mind, yknow how it is

[shadowedvales]

every chance of stability was chewed and spat out, and jane can't help but wonder if she was the problem, if there was a larger reason she didn't belong anywhere. from a basement, to a cabin in the woods, to a motherless house— and now... whatever this is. kali seemed like the answer, her savior who understood everything in a way no one else ever could. until motives were revealed and tests failed; a breaking point was eventually pushed by an illusion of an old man and his bared teeth. when the moment an escape was offered, (surely she couldn't return to becky or hopper. she betrayed them both by fleeing despite what they provided) it wasn't surprising that she desperately clung onto the concept, begging with her lips and heart to leave. “ i am tired. and cold. ” jane complains like it's her friend's fault, a scowl settling on messy features, limbs crying for rest while her body begs for security. the adrenaline of their hurried departure was beginning to wear off, and all she wants is to lay her head down somewhere and contemplate the following move. where might the lost child go next?

tiffany knew routes around the streets. tiffany never pressured jane or asked anything of her— this knowledge and experience leaves her content in trailing the elder for the time being. she could have deserted you, she reminds herself. be grateful she likes you enough to let you stay. they've only been walking for a little over an hour, putting as much distance between themselves and those left behind, but janessa feels as if she could collapse under the ache of her legs. frostbitten fingers aren't exactly enjoying the harsh wind, either. uninjured hand absentmindedly rubs at the make-up still shadowing her eyes (it was never her. she wants it gone) as she tries to keep up the pace. suddenly, like a flick was switched, she stops, neck shooting upwards and hand dropping at her side. “ are we going to your home? ” she asks, voice no longer sharp, more curious, the idea of seeing a place where cherished memories are made nearly removed her bitter tone completely. she may not have a home to call her own, so she'd live vicariously through tiffany.

not just that, but chicago has become less inviting than she believed the city to be: now all she sees is death. the hurt. the sorrow. the pain she inflicted simply because she was told to. god, what would her mother think? what would mike think? “ is it very far away from here? ”

starter call / @psych1cwound.

[byanyan]

✏️ from luffy

incorrect quotesㅤㅤㅤㅤ∘ ˚ ( accepting!! )

luffy: i was just diagnosed with deez. byan: good, i hope it’s lethal.

byan: i'm not mean. name one mean thing i’ve ever done. luffy: when we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real. byan: they're not. luffy: haha, very funny. byan: i'm serious. didn't you hear? luffy: no… what happened? byan: …why would you fall for this again—

luffy: i type how i think. byan: odd that you type at all then.

luffy: can i have some? byan, mouth full of cheesecake: ...it's really spicy, you wouldn't like it.

[asinglesock]

send help. it's supposed to be 91 degrees tomorrow. on my day off :(

[anotherhumanpet]

@cliffandthekid

Send 🌳 for our muses to get lost in the woods together

"Okay." Dennis takes in a deep breath, both to get a fresh supply of air so he can speak without running out of air (hopefully, anyway) and to steady his nerves. The former is more successful than the latter, but despite the failure he still goes on to say, "I've done this before and I know how to get out. It's just going to suck really bad. Do you have your phone with you?"

[keeps-ache]

steeping myself in the night air and hoping these ideas will take