#dont speak of my laundry im gonna do it i SWEAR

[cinderspots]

PSA for cold people with not enough blankets

I'm real bad at explaining things, just trust the process

[yikesharringrove]

how about billy and steve aren’t able to quarantine together they are at their respective homes. but no neil please he’s dead none of him billy live with his mom and the boys are struggling but they’re trying

so, basically, Billy’s mom took her with him when she left Neil.

-

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: should we just break up?

The text made Billy’s heart stop.

He knew Steve was being weird on the phone when they talked. Whenever Steve was quiet, it meant bad.

I mean, do you WANT to?

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, no, but would it be easier? do YOU want to?

Of COURSE I don’t want to.

Billy sighed, tossing his phone onto the counter, scrubbing his hands down his face.

“What’s going on, Starfish?” He looked up at his mom with one eye.

“Steve’s being insecure.” She raised an eyebrow. “I just talked to him and now he’s texting me and asking if I want to break up.” They had met in college, both joined the LGBT+ club at Chapman University, ended up working at one of the coffee shops on campus together. They had been together for just about a year, spent almost all their time together.

And then global pandemic forced Steve outta the dorms and back to Indiana while Billy packed up and headed down to his mom’s place in San Diego.

“Why do you think he’s thinking that?”

“Steve’s clingy. He likes being around people, and being touched, like just straight cuddled, and his parents are real shitty, and pretty much ignore the fact that he exists, and me not being around to like, help him out is probably really fucking with him.”

She twisted one of his curls around her finger.

“Would his parents let him come here? He could stay with us.”

“I asked him when all this shit first went down, but they’re like, really freaking out about everything and want him home. It’s the first time they’ve been home for longer six days since Steve was fourteen.” Her jaw dropped.

“Oh my God. Poor Stevie. How could a parent just, just treat their child like that?” Billy licked her hand, made her laugh loudly. He checked his phone, finding a bunch of new texts from Steve.

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: i’m sorry. i just feel like a chore.

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, i think itd be easier for you

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: if you dont have to deal with me

pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: im sorry im bothering you

Billy sighed.

“I should probably call him. He’s spiraling pretty hard. Twenty bucks says he hasn’t taken his meds in like, a week.” His mom tried to stifle a laugh, flicking a dish towel at him. He grinned at her while he pressed the call button.

“Hi, Bill.”

“Stevie, take your fuckin’ meds.” Steve huffed into the phone. “You can’t hide from me, Pretty Boy. I know how you get.”

“But I mean, think about it. You wouldn’t have to, to call and check in on me, you could just like, live your life. Date. If you wanted to.”

“We’re in a global pandemic. I’m not gonna go out and date, even if I fuckin’ wanted to break up with you.” He put his face down on the counter. “Now I’m gonna stay right here until you take your fucking meds.”

He could hear Steve stomping around on the line, slamming things around.

“Okay, I fucking took them.”

“Good. Now listen. I love you. I don’t want to break up with you. Even being halfway across the country from you, I’m so fucking happy. And it kills me that I can’t be with you right now, that I can’t hold you and help you, but I’m still here for you.”

“I’m sorry, Bill.” Steve sniffed. “I just, I hate it here. My parents are, are just all up in my shit, and my mom hasn’t let me leave the fucking neighborhood, and I, I’m so stressed out about school, and that I’m bringing you down and I feel like a fucking burden to everyone in my life and I, I” Steve broke down into sobs.

Billy’s heart fucking shattered.

All he wanted was to climb into a shitty dorm bed with Steve, hold him nice and close until he stopped feeling like shit about himself, until he understood that Billy fucking loves him.

“I’m sorry, Honey. I’m sorry I can’t help you. I wish I could do more. I love you. You are not a burden to me. I just, I wanna fucking climb through this phone and drag you home with me.”

“Maybe, maybe I could talk to my mom about, about visiting.” Billy held the phone out to his mom, putting Steve on speaker.

“Mom, tell Steve he can move in with us until it’s safe again.” She laughed lightly, taking the phone.

“Hi, Pumpkin. You are more than welcome here with us. Billy’s has been gardening up a storm. We’ve been giving away tomatoes to all the neighbors.” Steve laughed, it still sounded kinda wet.

“That sounds like heaven, ma’am.” She smiled warmly at Billy.

“Have Starfish send you my phone number, I can speak with your parents if you like. We’ve been very safe here. I’ve been sewing masks and giving them to all our friends as well.”

“I mean, I’ve been so miserable here, maybe, they might let me. I think my dad wouldn’t mind not having to deal with me anymore.” His mom pursed her lips at that. “I asked him for help with one of my classes, because apparently I forgot that he sucks, and he just told me I was an idiot for like, twenty minutes.”

She threw her rag down, her mouth all scrunched up.

“Baby, get the fuck out of that house. Come out here and hang out with me and my mom. We’ll help you with your work and won’t call you shitty names the whole time.”

“I don’t know, I am really fucking stup-”

“If you finish that fucking sentence, I swear to God, Steve.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Have your mom call my mom to set up our play date. We can have you quarantine in the guest room for a while after traveling.”

“Okay. Thank you, Bill.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

-

Billy was driving slowly through the pick up line.

They had a whole plan of attack. Steve had put on a pair of latex gloves, and would put his bags in the trunk and then sit in the back seat.

Billy was gonna take him home, and he was gonna shower while Billy tossed his traveled in clothes in the laundry.

He saw Steve standing there, his big duffel bag slumped next to his large suitcase.

He was in a mask, but waved giddily at Billy in his mom’s car.

They executed the plan flawlessly, and before they knew it, they were making out in the guest room of Billy’s little house.

His mom knocked on the door.

Steve rolled off of him sheepishly.

“You can come in.”

“Are you sure?” Billy rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I’m sure, Mom.” She winked at him when she came in.

She hugged Steve tight, and Billy’s heart fucking soared as Steve melted into the hug.

“I’m so glad you could come out here. It’s wonderful to meet you.”

She smelled like fresh bread and lilies. Steve loved it.

“It’s nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Hargrove.”

“Oh please, call me Beth.” She pulled away from the hug. “Sweet Thing, come help me set the table. Let Steve get his bearings.” Steve was grinning.

“Billy calls me Sweet Thing.”

“Well, he comes from a long line of nicknamers, so you better get used to it, Sugar.” Billy kissed him on the cheek as he followed his mom out.

Steve still has no idea what Beth said to his mother to convince her to send Steve out to San Diego for the foreseeable future.

But somehow, she had made it work, and he wasn’t gonna be alone, or with cold parents that called him names, wasn’t gonna have to cry himself to sleep, not when he could sneak into Billy’s cozy little room.

He could garden with Billy, and Billy said he’d teach him how to skateboard, take him on bike rides around town.

They would cook, and Billy would help him finish the semester online, and the weather was warm and-

And Billy loved him.

Loved him so much he convinced his parents to let him fly across the country to live with him.

Steve had never been loved like this before.

And he was gonna fucking cherish it.

[1-800-seo]

1-800-𝗦𝗘𝖮'𝘀 𖣘 "𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 (𝗨𝗻𝗶)𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗲"

- 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: 𝖩𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗑 𝖸/𝖭

- 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿/𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄/𝖻𝗎𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗍𝖾𝖽/𝖾2𝗅/𝖼𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖾𝗀𝖾 𝖠𝖴

- 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 (𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗌), 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗋𝗒, 𝖽𝗈𝗆!𝗃𝗄 𝗂𝖿 𝗎 𝗌𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗇𝗍, 𝖾𝗇𝖾𝗆𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌

- 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀: 2984

- 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗇𝖽𝗋𝗒 𝗀𝖾𝗍𝗌 𝗆𝗂𝗑𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗈𝗇𝖾'𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝖿 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾'𝗌 𝗀𝗈 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄, 𝖺 𝗀𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝖾𝗇𝗌𝗎𝖾𝗌, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖾𝗇𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖾𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖽𝗈𝗋𝗄.

doing laundry is absolutely one of your least favourite things in the world beside soggy socks

so you’re in a bad mood as soon as you walk into the campus launderette to say the least

the launderette is empty bar one dude you’d seen around the global technics centre

if you remember rightly he’s a European studies major

odd choice but you do you and all that

now you’re not weird or anything but you have a preference on what type of washing machine you use

I know I know kind of unorthodox

but the old washing machines take 30 mins longer so you’d prefer a newer one

unfortunately the only one left is directly next to this familiar-faced stranger and his laundry

your better judgement is telling you no but your impatience is telling you yes

and so you dump your laundry onto the floor next to the stranger and his and start sorting through for all your whites

your piles mingle a tad as they overlap beside each other like Venn diagrams of assorted underwear and other garments

his consisting of only whites

yours a jumbled mess since you had to wash all of your stuff

in sync you both pick up your washing and put it into the machine

you catch his dark wide eyes as you both straighten up and he lets out an awkward low-voiced giggle

your cheeks immediately flush pink and a bashful smile creeps up to your lips

“you’re from the global centre, right?”

you ask testing the waters

“I am, I’m a European studies major, my name’s Jungkook. I recognise you, you’re in linguistics class right?”

“Yeah, I’m a linguistics major so you’ll mostly see me there, it’s nice to meet you Jungkook”

you say with a smile as your hands fidget with the door handle of the washing machine

“It’s nice to meet you too, I thought I recognised you from somewhere, but it’s because I see you sometimes when I have to do extra credit European language projects. What’s your name?”

he says tilting his head like a curious puppy

“its ______”

you say as you bow to him politely

“Can I ask you something? I have to do a project on European languages and their similarities to others. The professor wants us to speak to outsiders for references so would I be able to collab on a project with you sometime in the future, if it’s not too much to ask?”

he averts his eyes from yours and blushes lightly

“Oh yeah sure, that’s no issue! It’ll be beneficial to me too because the linguistics portion of the course is coming up soon, so it’s a great idea.”

you beam at him

“Could I get your number?”

their is a pause that feels like an eternity between your next words and his last

the cause of this is your mind being far too focused on his wavy dark hair and his clear doe eyes

you snap out of your daze

“yeah totally, one sec”

you pull out your phone from your backpack on top of the washing machine and input his contact name and number as he reads it out

“Thanks for that, it’ll be a big help, let me know when you want to link up” he replies

and with that you had his number and continued on with your washing

21/10 18:32

Jungkook ༄ : not to be accusatory but do you happen to own a pair of RED socks?

You: yes, why do you ask??

Jungkook ༄ : well ALL of my washing seems to be PINK!!

You: just because I own a pair of red socks doesn’t mean it was me 😠

Jungkook ༄ : yes but you were the only one in the launderette when I was there,,

Jungkook ༄ : smh gonna be turning up to class in pink tshirts and and socks, everyone be thinking ive made a new fashion choices when it’s really just because SOMEONE can’t keep their clothes separate from others B/

You: 1) it’s not my fault that my socks decided to migrate to new lands

You: 2) why, are you scared of pink or something? your ego too fragile to wear a ‘woman’s colour’?

You: 3) did you really use a sunglasses sad face emoticon lol

Jungkook ༄ : girl u owe me big time for all these clothes you ruined 😩

Jungkook ༄ : also im not scared of pink I just dont want to be wearing pink shirts to all of my formal events for the next ten years

Jungkook ༄ : and yes im sWaG so my emoticons are sWaG duh

You : ruined? ruINED? RUINED? I did not ruin anything, I simply spiced up your wardrobe boo x

You : oh no he’s a 2012 hype beast 🤦🏻‍♀️

Jungkook ༄ : how dare you call me something so sacreligious as a hypebeast!!

Jungkook ༄ : I am gucci not channel thank you very much

Jungkook ༄ : anyways I gtg write a report, speak soon red socks

Seen ✓

Jungkook was in fact not writing a report

he was planning revenge dun dun dun~~~

his plan was to do the exact same thing you had done to him

but he had to be cunning about it

and so the week went on

he was scrolling through twt when he received a new follower

it was the one and only @_______

and lo and behold their last tweet was “tysm Seokjin oppa for buying me a personal washing machine,, now I can do my most hated thing but at home!!”

hehehe

an idea sprung into kookie’s head

he didn’t have to try and spike your washing at the launderette

he could do it in a place you’d never suspect,, your home

now he only had to find out where you lived

just stalkerish tingz

he had to be lowkey about this

so he decided to ask his best mate and social butterfly of a friend Taehyung whether he knew you

and of course he did lol

“Hell yeah I know where she lives, she had the best party of the whole term, Jimin was so drunk he started chatting himself up in the mirror”

“Damn that sounds like a good time, probs should start going to these parties you invite me to”

“defo should, anyways I’ll tell u as long as you promise not to spread the information or use it for pervy or questionable reasons”

“I promise not to spread it or use it for pervy or questionable reasons”

he replies in monotone voice and his hand on his chest like an oath

and so that was how he acquired your address

simple enough really

and so that’s the events that lead him to be crawling through your dorm window however paused like a deer in headlights at the questionable sounds coming from the room across

he was squatted on the window ledge like spider man, red sock in hand and hood up

it was 9:00pm and your university apartment was supposed to be empty at this time

you had your class on now but he hadn’t accounted for your roommate

hence why he had frozen at the unsavoury sounds echoing round the apartment

low moans and grunts emanated from the room across

dEsGöStEn

he had to get to the kitchen without alerting the dusk time love makers

he could do it if the floor plan was the same as his apartment block and he bet his reputation on that

if he got caught he’d never hear the end of it from his mates and your roommate might even call the campus police if they were spooked enough

and so he clambered through your bedroom window and onto your bed underneath

unmade bed might he add but what did he expect from a uni student

with wide eyes he listened for any noise of suspecting roommates and examined your room

the desk was littered with papers and an oversized lava lamp stood stout in the corner of the room

a lacy bra was hung over your wardrobe handle

he shoved away the idea of you wearing it and continued with his night time plot

slowly and stealthily he crept through the halls of the apartment and out to the kitchen

on the maiden was already a neatly hung load of whites

he’d have to assume it was yours otherwise he’d have to go back to your room to get laundry

he bundled up the clothes and shoved them in the washing machine with the incriminating red sock he’d brought and set it to economy spin

round and round it spun, getting progressively louder as it went

he had to get out of there asap

tip-toeing as he went past the questionable lewd noises, he finally made it to your bedroom

he made one last check to see if he’d left any damage in your room

his eyes fell upon that same bra

damn his manhood making him think predictably

he shoved the thought away and departed

25/10 22:08

You: what in the hell did you do to my washing!!!?!!!

You: unless it was a ghost it HAD TO BE YOU JEON 🤬

Jungkook ༄ : wym I don’t even know where you live 😑

Jungkook ༄ : what’ve you done now?

You: IT HAS TO BE YOU!! SOMEONE FRIGGIN TURNED MY WASHING PINK AND I PROMISE YOU IT WASNT ME

Jungkook ༄ : how would i do that?? I don’t have like magic clothes dyeing skills boo

You: I SWEAR it was you!!

You: what do you want to bet it was u

Jungkook ༄ : I won’t bet anything I’m poor

You: that means you did it!

Jungkook ༄ : if you come with me to Taehyung’s party tomorrow I’ll tell u everything

Jungkook ༄ : but only if you go, that’s the terms of agreement

You: that’s all the incriminating evidence I need!! you basically just admitted to it you know?

You: however for reasons sake I will attend 👀

Jungkook ༄ : see you then red socks x

You: I suppose u will x

time passed quickly and soon it was Taehyung’s party

You’d known Taehyung since middle school however since starting college you hadn’t seen much of him

schedules clashed often so the only time you got to see him was at a good party

nothing wrong with that, you just probably haven’t had a completely sober conversation with him in 2 years

he’s good fun, Taehyung, so you hoped Jungkook wasn’t as much as a killjoy as he’d been this week

his little antics (that you’d yet to figure out) had caused your work uniform to turn bright pink

and thus the ‘pink princess’ nickname at work began

you felt like sharpay, everyone in white, but you pink

you’d quite like to knock Jungkook down a peg after that

and so you made your way to the infamous Taehyung’s party

he welcomed you as you entered the large door of his fraternity house

behind his head of black curls you could see the mess that is a raging college party

young people, at assumably different levels of intoxication, were everywhere

some were stood all the way up the expanse of the stairs even

you looked around and spotted a familiar brunette in the kitchen sat on the large marble counter tops

he’s chatting to some pink haired girl beside him

you stalk up to him like a woman on a mission and jokingly (a little too hard for jokingly) push his shoulders with both hands

he immediately snaps his head round to face you and his eyes widen with shock

“I have a bone to pick with you.” you say as stern as you can

you grab hold a fistful of his black T-shirt and drag him into a side room

once you enter only then do you realise it’s a laundry room

how fitting 👀

you say “Come on, tell me how you did it.” as you cross your arms and glare at him

“Did what?”

“you know what I mean, don’t play dumb with me, how did you turn all of my washing pink, and might I add, my work uniform too!”

“Ohhh that, it was far too easy. You really should keep your windows locked when you’re out.” he says as he laughs, like the whole thing is amusing

“So you’re telling me you broke into my apartment?! How did u know where I live??”

at this point you’re pacing around the room, arms flailing wide at the sudden discovery

“Well, I may or may not have asked Taehyung, and he told me, and then I entered, I did not break into your apartment. Anyway, I didn’t touch anything but the washing machine and I had the lovely experience of being serenaded by your roommate’s sex symphony.”

he made a step forward towards you, almost in a challenging way

“Oh I’ll be having harsh words with him later...” you say as you uncross your arms and put them on your hips.

you stand thinking for a second before it sinks in

“Wait.. what did you hear? You said sex symphony, right?”

“Uh yeah, your roommate was proper going at it with someone. At least he had the decency to do it whilst you were out, I guess.” He chuckled

“Oh my days, that means Hobi must’ve had Hyerim round! Go him I guess, but also ewww”

“Anyways we’ve bounced around the issue enough here, you ruined my clothes and broke into my apartment!” you exclaim backing up against the wall

Jungkook starts to close the gap between you two

“So? What’re you going to do about?”

your back pressed flush with the wall, you start to realise how close he really is

you can see the small freckles that dot the bridge of his nose, the thick eyelashes that frame his eyelids, the totally sinful look in his eyes

like this you start to realise how shockingly handsome he is

no wonder he has a slight reputation in class

you had no idea why he was looking at you this way

“I-I’ll call campus security..” You begin

“Will you really now?” he retorts as he slams his hand into the wall behind you, caging you in

“I w-will” a whisper that falls on deaf ears

before you even register, his lips have attached themselves to yours and you feel his thumb under your jaw

he works his lips against yours and you feel your legs start to tremble

he tastes sweet and robust, like syrup on your tastebuds

you mould into his kiss and then break away, panting for air, wanting more

everything felt so wrong, yet so right at the same time

it was as if your current issue had melted away and the only thing you could focus on was the way he looked at you and how his soft lips felt against yours

“J-Jungkook? What’re we doing?” you asked, a giggle leaving you

you rest your head against chest, clasping at his tshirt

“I couldn’t resist, you’re so hot when you’re angry”

he places a firm kiss against your cheek, takes your hand in his, and leads you back to the party

you couldn’t believe you’d just done that, let him kiss you so easily

but once you let him, it felt so right, like it was supposed to be that way, him lapping you up like a parched man to water

it felt so natural to have his arm round your waist like it was now

the pair of you approached Taehyung, still clutched together

“What happened to you two? I heard _____ went off on one and then you both were missing for ages. And now you both show up all over each other... what went down 👀”

“Well you know, hate and love are both forms of passion.” Jungkook says with a smirk

“excuse me? Assuming I love you? I let you kiss me once and you say it’s love? I’ll show you love” you retort

“Oooh she’s feisty; so you kissed? Damn, things’re moving quickly for you two, one minute Jungkook’s asking me for your address, the next you’re sucking each other’s faces off. I’m one of hell of a wing man, if I do say so myself.”

Taehyung flips an imaginary lock of hair out of his way like a sassy high school cheerleader

You both just laugh, at Taehyung, and because of how crazy it is,

It’s almost like you didn’t know you liked him like that until it smacked you in the face

“Do you want a drink? A beer?” Jungkook asks pouring himself a glass of punch

“That’d be great, thank you” you reply as you realise how much more time you want to spend with this annoying but totally handsome dork of a boy

༄ 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈 𝗆𝗎𝖼𝗁 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀! ༄

This was just a little fic I wrote a while ago which had formatting errors so I fixed it for y’alI, Hope you enjoyed it ☺️ Let me know what you thought of it and feel free to like and reblog <3

[angrylizardjacket]

the things we do for likes {Joe Mazzello/Reader/Ben Hardy}

Anon asked: lol ben and joe having instagram wars on who can post the most embarrassing content of reader

A/N: again, written on my phone because the writing demon possessed me at 2am. I'm probs gonna have this as a series akin to B/R/R, aka disconnected vignettes in the same universe. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged. A case of the mondays is a McElroy reference, before you ask. 😊😊

It starts when Joe wakes up to an empty bed and noises coming from the kitchen; noises being footsteps, a loud bang, and some half coherent swearing. There's silence for a moment, then the opening and closing of the fridge. As soon as he's got his wits about him and realises it's just you in the other room, he opens his phone.

"So I wake up to no girlfriend and noises in the kitchen," Joe says after a minute of searching through his closet for his baseball bat, ready to film a bit for his Instagram. As he makes his way to the kitchen now, he holds the bat in frame, "I'm ready to rescue her if it's robbers." He assured the camera, voice still quiet and rough with sleep. Once he gets to the kitchen, however, he stops dead at the sight before him. There's a very long couple of seconds where all that the camera catches is his surprise.

"Why do you have a bat?" Your voice is muffled, as if you're speaking around something, and that's when Joe seems to remember he's filming, he changes to his front facing camera and turns on his phone light, exposing the fact that you're sitting cross legged on the kitchen island, eating a banana with a carton of juice in your other hand. You hiss at the light, arm coming up to sheild your eyes. The light doesn't move, and after a beat you shift your arm so he can see your face scrunched up where you're squinting at him, clearly unhappy about this intrusion into your snacking time. You take another bite of banana.

"Why are you on the counter?" He breathes, a little flabbergasted, and you chew, looking down at where you're seated, as if it's only just occurred to you that it's not exactly a normal chair. After a beat, you shrug, and raise the juice carton to your lips taking a long swig. You were so focused, so deliberate, and so obviously tired and half asleep that Joe couldn't help but laugh.

"Seriously, why do you have a bat?" And you finished the banana and put the peel down beside you with far more delicacy than it reasonably warranted.

"I heard noises and you weren't there, so I thought I'd come protect you from robbers." He explained, moving forward until he was standing next to you by the counter. You gaze into the middle distance for a moment as you contemplated his words.

"I was the robbers." You say, nodding sagely as the realisation comes to you. As if to prove this point, you reach out blindly for the fruit bowl that you'd already accosted once, picking up a lime and trying to fit the whole thing in your mouth. The last thing the video catches is Joe lunging forward to pull the fruit from between your teeth with a surprised exclamation before the video cuts off.

It's there that he realises that you're not half asleep, you're completely asleep, and sleep-eating at that. You're compliant enough when he leads you back to bed, though you adamantly refuse to let go of the juice, and you sit it triumphantly on your bedside table before promptly falling back into bed. Despite everything, Joe can't help but be endeared as he settles in beside you.

The video goes up the following morning after he shows it to you for your approval.

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle: "I had a case of the Mondays!" Me: "What does that even mean?"

@benhardy1 there's so much to unpack here

@benhardy1 also @yourinstagramhandle caught red handed drinking straight from the carton

@joemazzello @benhardy1 listen it was a lot to take in but youre right @yourinstagramhandle there was a cup right beside you!!!

@gwilymlee what is happening over there??

@benhardy1 @gwilymlee i know, im gone for one week......

@yourinstagramhandle I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS!! 😂😭 @benhardy1 @gwilymlee @joemazzello

@yourinstagramhandle dont bully me @benhardy1 i miss you x

@benhardy1 @yourinstagramhandle 😘😘

@joemazzello @yourinstagramhandle @benhardy1 gross (im kidding, come home)

@benhardy1 @joemazzello 🙄🖕 (😘)

It becomes a thing, much to your chagrin, 'a case of the Mondays' becomes a meme the moment Ben posts a video from set, of him walking into his trailer where you'd been waiting for him, only for him to find you laying on his sofa under a fluffy blanket, watching Netflix with a face mask on.

"You took too long, now I'm having me-time." You announced. In the background, the Friends theme song starts.

Ben captions the video 'when you're hit with a case of the mondays', and tags you.

Not fifteen minutes later, Joe responds with his own video posted to his Instagram story captioned 'are mondays contagious? asking for a friend'. The video seems to have been taken not long after Ben's since you're still in a facemask on his sofa in the trailer, the difference is that Ben's in a face mask, and you've got your feet in his lap. The video starts in the middle of a heated argument, and it takes a few moments for the two of you to realise Joe is there, filming. Ben's the first to reach out to him.

"Monica's the worst Friend, right? Back me up here." He asks, and before Joe can even think about answering, you groan loudly, rolling your eyes.

"Ross is obviously the worst Friend, are you kidding me? He's manipulative, he's mean, he's-" you start, carefully extracting yourself from beneath the blanket as you spoke, peeling off your face mask.

"He's a terrible boyfriend and brother, yeah, but he's not the worst Friend," Ben elaborates, following behind you, and Joe quickly takes your spot on the sofa while you're in the bathroom. The argument continues as you wrinse your faces, you taking it in stride easily when you realise your seat's been usurped, sitting yourself in Joe's lap while Ben takes back his original seat. Finally the two of you look to Joe who had been waiting for this moment. The Friends laugh track goes off in the background.

"Well, you're both wrong; the worst Friend is Phoebe." He announced very matter of factly, like it's something he's been sure of for a while. After a beat, both you and Ben groan in unison, you even going so far as to move from Joe's lap to Ben's. That's where the video stops.

You update your Instagram story not long after with a picture of Joe in a face mask, grinning like an absolute fool, captioned 'we got him'.

There's more videos, more pictures, all showcasing you in the worst lighting or weird situations, and all of which you approve before they're posted, despite how embarrassing some of them may seem. Despite all of this, you don't care; it's posted because you're comfortable enough to share yourself with them, even in less than flattering situations, and when you look up, their gaze meeting yours where they're grinning behind their cameras, you can see in their eyes the fondness, the 'yeah, this is the fool I love'.

Ben posts a candid video of you recreating the Risky Business sock-slide scene when the song comes on your Spotify while folding the laundry. The moment you spot him, he stops filming however, because he sees the mischief in your eyes, and the way your hips are moving as you step towards him; you're feeling silly and sexy, climbing into his lap on the sofa, still dancing, though it's more grinding now, and singing the half remembered words. That's not for the rest of the world to see.

Joe posts a series of photos chronicling you forgetting to use an oven mitt to check on the frozen pizza you'd chucked in the oven, and even goes so far as to draw a red circle around the mitt that was literally sitting on the counter beside the oven as you sulked in the foreground of the final photo, holding a bag of frozen peas to your hand. He doesn't post about how he sits you down in front of the TV and brings you a proper ice pack, how he finishes getting dinner all ready and how he and Ben spend the rest of the night doting on you as much as they gently tease you.

They post dumb, nonsense arguments, but not sleepy morning kisses; your reaction to trying food that's way too spicy, even for you, but not how you smile so sweetly over desserts; the way you nap in the weirdest places, bit not how cute you look when you fall asleep on one of them. That's by design. From the outside the relationship is fun and chaotic and bright, but you don't owe the world a confirmation of just how much you love these men. But honestly, the world seems to understand, and somehow that doesn't make you uncomfortable. Though even the small snippets the three of you have shared, it's clear you love and trust each other.

And it comes out in other ways too, other cast members, not that you really mind.

"Tell us about Ben, Joe, and Y/N, are they actually sappy on set?" Gwilym reads out a question during an Instagram live session he's hosting in his trailer to kill time between scenes. "Listen, I'll tell you what, they're worse on set," he tells his audience with playfully annoyed expression, getting up. "Joe's trailer is right next to mine and if I check-" leaving his own trailer he takes his phone with him, knocking on the one next door as the comments of his live show go absolutely nuts, "I bet all three of them are in there." He mused.

Joe opens the door, yawning and rubbing his eyes, clearly having just woken up. "Keep it down, man," Joe mumbles before he sees the phone in Gwil's hand.

"Sorry I woke you, say hello to Instagram, Joe." Joe grins, giving a wave when Gwil holds up the phone. "They were asking about you three," he knows without having to ask that you and Ben are with him. Whenever you came to visit the set the three of you stuck pretty close together.

"They're still asleep," Joe steps aside to allow Gwil to peak inside. As promised, you and Ben were draped over each other on the sofa, though your feet have clearly been moved where Joe had to extract himself to answer the door. The UK Office is playing on someone's laptop. You yawn in your sleep and nestle in against Ben further, even Gwil's heart melts a bit at that.

"Alright, sorry to wake you," Gwil smiles and retreats as Joe stifles a yawn and assures him it's no trouble at all. When he's back in his own trailer, Gwil takes a breather before going back to looking at his live stream.

"They're cute, it's disgusting at times, how cute they are, and yeah, no, they don't show a lot of that in public, but they do really care about each other." He paused, shrugging, "and sometimes they're just weird. I saw Joe dare Ben to try and eat a whole apple in one bite, and he tried, and Joe video called Y/N when it got stuck, but it turns ou her solution was for her to eat a whole apple in one go too, to see how to get out of it; it just got stuck. They all seemed surprised by this, and it was just one of those times where I was like 'ah, yes these people make sense together', you know?" He shrugged, grinning as he read a few comments, "yeah it really did feel like they all got hit with a case of the mondays."

Taglist: @cosmicsskies

shoot me a message and I'll add you xx

[carbonated-chicken-broth]

Riddles and Body Bleach || Lucifer x Reader

Love Luci. This is actually an older one I’ve got posted on wATtPaD but since I abandoned the site, I figured I’d post it here to try and maintain some semblance of productivity. 

Pairing(s): Lucifer/Reader, Dean/Cas, Sam/no one (poooooor Sammeh)

Category: Crack

Reader Gender: Female

Warnings: Uhhhhh mild implications? Nothing major. Also naughty language, but again, nothing too too bad. Also it’s a crackfic so...I mean, I hope it’s funny? I’m doin’ my best, I swear.

Word Count: 1,100+

Sam has created a chat

Sam has added Dean, Castiel, (Y/N)

Sam: Guys

Sam: Guys guess what

(Y/N): Did you get anywhere on the research?

Dean: Yeah we're not finding anything useful

Sam: No but I found something better

Castiel: What is it, Sam?

Dean: hold on

Dean has changed 'Castiel' to 'Cas'

Dean: it was making me uncomfortable. carry on

Sam: Guys

(Y/N): What

Sam: Riddles

Dean: ...

Dean: . . .

Dean: Sam ppl r literally dying as we speak wtf

Sam: Dean ppl r dying literally whenever we speak and we have no leads just let me have this

(Y/N): are they.........are they good riddles

Sam: .........yus

(Y/N): gimme

Sam: What can you take from a man who has nothing?

Dean: *takes your laptop*

(Y/N): *takes your 2-in-1 shampoo/hair conditioner*

Sam: You already do that

Lucifer has joined the chat

Lucifer: *takes your soul*

Dean: TOO FAR

Sam: ...

Lucifer: Hiya Sammy

Lucifer: Deano

Lucifer: Cassie

Lucifer: (Y/N) 🖤 

(Y/N): 🖤

Sam: ...

Sam: bitch

Dean: someone say jerk before the universe collapses

Cas: Why would the universe collapse unless someone says 'jerk?'

Cas: Dean?

Cas: You're such a child.

Cas: Jerk.

Dean: thank you

Lucifer: (Y/N) why does sammeh hate meeeee

(Y/N): Hmmmmmmmmidk

Sam: oH YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU DID?? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU DID!!

Lucifer has been disconnected

Sam: serves him the fuck right. thirstyass ho

Castiel: ???

Sam: The answer is his virginity

Castiel: ?!?!?!

Dean: smooth transition there

Sam: Shut up

(Y/N): Wait but like,,,,,,,how

Sam: If he has nothing, then he doesn't have sex

Cas: That is a paradox.

Sam: Stfu

Cas: What does that mean?

Dean: don't worry about it

(Y/N): Hey Sam remember that job we were working? That job that saves peoples lives? That job?

Sam: Fine

Lucifer has joined the chat

Lucifer: the wifi down here is no bueno

Sam: Leave

Sam: You are not welcome here

Dean: got'em

Cas: The lingo here is very strange. It is as if the laws of grammar and spelling do not apply. I shall document my findings.

Dean: never say lingo again

Sam: The power of Christ compels you to gtfo

Lucifer: (Y/N) Sam's being a big meanie help

Lucifer: (Y/NNNNNN)

Lucifer: halp meh pls

Lucifer: dark princess most amorous where u go

Sam: You're too late. She can't hear you now

Lucifer: wHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LOVE

Dean: you'll never know

Cas: Sam stole (Y/N)'s phone.

Dean: CAS

Cas: She is in the process of getting it back. Sam is too tall. She cannot reach.

Lucifer: give her baaaaaaack

Lucifer: wait

Lucifer: is she jumping?

Dean: why

Lucifer: I like it when she jumps. dad bless gravity...

Cas: She is jumping.

Dean: dude that's so weird that's not even a kink stop

Lucifer: 😈

(Y/N): Ha she left her phone open

(Y/N): I'm gonna scroll through her camera roll

Lucifer: sam I swear to dad you stay out of that daddamn camera roll for your own safety as much as ours

Lucifer: and give my princess back her phone

(Y/N): ha ha no

Dean: sam don't do it

Cas: This all sounds very inadvisable.

(Y/N): I'm gonna do it

Sam: bitch I will cut you

(Y/N): It's too late. I'm gonna open the app

Lucifer: princess?

Sam: Yeah. Daddy Longlegs left his phone on the table

Lucifer: dont call him that.

Dean: how did you get into it tho?

Sam: Really easily actually. His password's 327&/!;7,@@2?92$hsitvskfgh

Lucifer: PRINCESS?

Sam: Take back your tainted device you foul woman

Lucifer: yes return my bb

Dean: Sam explain

(Y/N): babe hi

Lucifer: 💖

(Y/N): 💖

Sam: you two are gross

Lucifer: 👿

(Y/N): our pictures r cute what r u talking about

Dean: sem explen

Cas: Please do not explain, Sam.

Sam: I need to bleach my entire body

Lucifer: do it

Dean: Sammy pleeeeease?

Sam has sent Dean a private message

Dean has left the chat

(Y/N): oh shit he's running

Dean has joined the chat

Dean: WHAT FHE FUCK MAN RHATS UNNATURAL (Y/N) ARE YOU OKAY DOESNT THAT HURT??!?!!??

Dean has left the chat

Cas: One could even say...Supernatural.

(Y/N): Leave

Cas has left the chat

(Y/N): no wait Cas

Lucifer: I would never hurt my princess!

Lucifer: Unless she wants me to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sam: pls no

(Y/N): pls yes

Cas has joined the chat

Cas: What is 'pls?'

Sam: Please

Cas: Please what?

Sam: ...

Sam: nvm

Cas: ???

Sam: Never mind.

(Y/N): give up

Cas: I am very confused.

Sam: pls = please

Cas: I see. I will remember that.

Lucifer: hey (Y/N)

(Y/N): Yes love of my life?

Lucifer: if there were a cute police they'd shoot you on sight for being so darn adorable

(Y/N): Aw babe ily

Lucifer: ily2

Cas: I do not understand.

Sam: Perhaps it's best if it stays that way

Sam: Also (Y/N) I'm worried for your safety

Lucifer: sam if there were a cute police they'd hit you with their car but not because you're cute just because they want you to not be alive

Sam: why tho

Lucifer: my bb is safe and sound

Cas: Your compliments all end in her dying. That is not healthy.

Lucifer: false

(Y/N): He has a point, babe

Lucifer: aw babe im sorry

(Y/N): it's okay apology accepted

Sam: i hate both of you so much

Lucifer: Awwww Sammy doesn't loooove uuuuuus?

(Y/N): I don't think he dooooooes

Sam: Fuck yourseeeeeelves

Cas: What a fascinating interaction.

(Y/N): Seriously tho we should really get to work. And get Dean

Cas: I will go find him. He ran off in the direction of the laundry room. I'm worried for him.

Lucifer: Destiel?????

Cas: No, my name is Castiel.

Sam: right over his head

Lucifer: i noticed

Cas: why are we talking like this?

(Y/N): Dean must be really worrying right now out in a room far away on his own. Cas, go find him.

Cas: That is a good idea. I'll go do that.

Cas has left the chat

Lucifer: that's not the only thing he's gonna go do

Lucifer: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Sam has left the chat

(Y/N): You've scared him away

Lucifer: I tend to have that affect

(Y/N): I wonder what could have inspired it

Lucifer: Haven't the faintest

(Y/N): I imagine so

(Y/N): Anyway I gtg work so...

Lucifer: But I wanna seeeee youuuu

Lucifer: Take the warding downnnnn

Lucifer: pleeeeeeease?

(Y/N): ...

(Y/N): give me five minutes

(Y/N) has left the chat

Lucifer: 😈 

Lucifer has left the chat

I have other ideas for fics like this buuuuut whether or not I’ll write ‘em is hard to predict. But yeah, that’s the stuff! Thanks for readin’!

[haespoir]

honestly, i’d like to start this post off by saying thank you!!! never would i have thought that i would ever reach over 100 followers,,, so the fact that i’ve hit 1000 followers seems so unreal to me,, so thank you guys! for supporting my writing and dealing with my nonsensical rambling!! 

with that being said: in honour of reaching 1000 followers, i’ve decided to start a little series on my blog. i’ll be writing for five main groups: nct ( all units ), loona, twice, red velvet and the boyz. these are my favorite groups to write for though i’ve really only ever written publicly for nct. 

i’ve complied a list of 60 aus ( most are from this masterlist and i’ve just chosen the ones that i like ) and 20 songs so just pick one and send me a request! note: most things will be written in bulletpoint and this post will serve as a masterlist for everything! 

example requests: 

“competitive au #1 w doyoung?” 

“angst song #2 with sana?” 

if a prompt is taken, it’ll be bolded with the name of the idol next to it! i’ll also include who requested it uwu basically, it’s a first come, first serve type thing! you can also request more than once!

ok with that being said,,, have fun! 

songs

angst

01. [ younghoon | anon ] “love letter” jinsoul and kim lip 

02. “push and pull” kard

03. “rumor” kard 

04. “lady” exid

05. “see saw” gowon and chuu and kimlip 

06. “walkin’ in time” the boyz 

07. “hard to love” bol4 

08. “destiny” lovelyz 

09. “we were in love” t-ara and davichi 

10. “dont recall” kard 

fluff

01. “hi” lovelyz

02. [ donghyuck | anon ] “walk u home” nct dream 

03. [ heejin | anon ] “what is love” twice 

04. [ jaemin | anon ] “shine” pentagon 

05. “imagine” bol4

06. “nevermind” jeong sewoon 

07. “real man” the east light

08. [ doyoung ] “a girl like me” gugudan 

09. [ yuta | @jenofanclub ] “heart attack” chuu 

10. “the day of confessing my love” jo kwon 

aus

roommate aus

01. friend of a friend needs a place to stay before they get evicted

02. my roommate fell nd broke their arm in the shower,,, what do i do

03. [ yeri | @najaeminclub ] new roommate cooks for the first time and almost burns the house down

04. overheard you singing in the shower you sound angelic 

05. [ doyoung | anon ] your clothes ended up in my laundry and now im wearing your favorite tshirt 

enemies to lovers au 

01. you’re a jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order 

02. [ jihoon | @lovejihoonie ] you saw me crying and you weren’t supposed to,, why are u trying to hug me 

03. you come to the restaurant i work at and choose me as your server every time just to annoy me nd i can’t do anything or i’ll get fired

04. [ yuta ] look i know we haven’t said anything nice to each other for years and this is a bit sudden but can you hold my hand and pretend to be my partner for the next few minutes cause my ex is coming over and i can’t be on my own for this so lets just pretend we aren’t mortal enemies okay? omg, you’re saying nice things about me and your arms are around my waist and my heart is pounding in my chest and oh god no out of all the people i could crush on why you?

reincarnation aus

01. [ jaehyun | anon ] i meet and fall in love with you in every lifetime at the same age but your age is always different so it never works out and for the first time i’m meeting you when we’re the same age and i’m horrified that i might fuck this up

02. [ doyoung ] i skipped like four cycles of reincarnation and i know you’re pissed at me for leaving you all those lifetimes but it wasn’t my fault please please will you take me back

03. [ yukhei | anon ] i don’t know how to tell you this but the reason you didn’t see me in our last reincarnation cycle is because for some fucked up reason I was reincarnated as your dog

04. [ taeyong | @najaemini ] we keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because i can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least i keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

height difference aus ( specify who is the tol nd who is the smol pls !! ) 

01. [ jacob | anon ] you were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’re both baristas and sometimes i have trouble reaching for things and i show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU 

03. we’re in art class tgt and i just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding” we’re on the bus and im really not trying to take up your space im sorry i just have rlly rlly long legs 

04. [ juyeon | @jenofanclub ] you’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious

05. you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die

competitive aus

01. [ jaemin ] we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust

02. i used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and im going all out for the next event

03. [ renjun | @najaeminclub ] a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if im going down you’re going down with me

04. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year i am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me i will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

05. [ donghyuck | anon ] we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you

06. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

college aus 

01. [ momo | anon ] excuse me, I know we don’t have assigned seats in college, but I’ve been sitting in this one for eight weeks and it seems you’re in my spot

02. [ lucas | anon ] bless the spring semester stage combat class for practicing on the North Lawn, because watching my crush get sweaty and worked up while pretending to fight people really Does Things to me, okay

03. i was abroad last semester and forgot to fill out the housing form, but your old roommate dropped out so hi, hey, how’s it going, I guess we live together now

04. both of us turned up at the wrong room for this lecture but don’t know where its meant to be 

05. [ lucas | @najaemini ] we live in halls opposite each other and i keep seeing you changing through your window 

witch aus 

01. listen, i know im new at this and all, but you screeching at the top of your tiny frog lungs isn’t going to help anyone, is it????? don’t you dare croak at me in that tone

02. [ jeno | anon ] we’ve been friends for years, so are familiars are really good friends with each other too. nd recently, while we’ve been doing witchy stuff, i’ve noticed that our familiars are growing extremely close and being affectionate towards each other. that’s weird because like our familiars are supposed to represent our subconscious and that’s not how we feel about each other at all… right?

03. [ seulgi | anon ] i borrowed the broomstick you keep in your wardrobe, and while i was cleaning up some lint; it suddenly shOT UPWARDS AND SMASHED INTO THE CEILING WHILE I WAS STILL HOLDING IT AND IT WON’T STOP MOVING GET ME DOWN FROM HERE I SWEAR TO GOD.

ghost aus ( in which one person is a ghost ) 

01. the neighbours asked one time if I had any roommates and i said no and they just looked really confused because they can always hear me shouting or talking to someone. yea, my neighbours think I’m crazy now, so thanks for that.

02. we’ve been arguing for a solid hour about whether Amelia Earheart actually died when the plane supposedly crashed; i don’t care if you met her one time when you were in purgatory. that doesn’t make a difference!

03. my ghost is really temperamental so i sometimes just scream “FUCK OFF” at it really loudly. it quietens down after that.

04. i’ve become so used to all the weird shit that happens in my house that when i invited people over and you were just throwing books around in the hallway, i completely forgot that they aren’t used to it like i am and now they just ran out of the house screaming. 

05. [ johnny | anon ] you’re a ghost and you scared me so much that i died and i literally rose out of the floor two minutes later as a ghost, now we’re stuck together for eternity and now i’m gonna beat your ghost ass.

06. CAN YOU NOT POSSESS DOLLS PLEASE IT’S NOT FUNNY AND IT”S JUST A DICK MOVE AND SCARES THE HECK OUT OF ME EVERY TIME

you know them but you don’t know them aus 

01. my friend can’t stop talking about how they want to set me up with their other friend so we start texting each other and they’re hilarious but shy about meeting and ALSO there’s a cute bike delivery guy who brings my mail at work and winks at me whenever i sign for a package 

02. [ sana | @jenofanclub ] i’m obsessed with a food blogger who writes about cheap ways to be gourmet in your 20s and i flirt with them over comments but they never post pictures of their face and ALSO there’s a really cute grocery bagger at the store down the street who teases me and always asks to join me for dinner and i definitely want to say yes

03. [ jaehyun | @jaehyunclub ] there’s an overnight IT person at school who always answers the phone when i call about a problem with my computer and i totally have a crush on their voice and their exasperation and ALSO the bakery down the street is always running out of my fave scones and the adorable person behind the counter can’t hide their amusement and i think it’s super rude but also super cute 

04. [ lucas | @najaeminclub ] my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick 

05. our kids are bitter rivals and the only time we ever meet is when we’re both called to the principal’s office and whatever maybe i think you’re kind of cute but your kid’s a monster and ALSO someone keeps buying the last everything bagel at my favorite coffee shop 2 minutes before i get there in the morning and has heard about my plight and has started leaving me bragging notes about it 

06. [ changmin | @lovejihoonie ] i hired a dog walking company and i’ve never met the person who comes to my apartment but they leave me really cute notes and they give my dog presents and i kind of love them because my dog does and ALSO one of the artists at this gallery opening is hella cute and i want them to paint me like one of their french girls

??? aus

01. [ jacob | @lovejihoonie ] im calling to cancel our date bc im actually in the er right now, sorry,,,, i mean,,, i guess u can come here,,,, bring me fries 

02. we’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up

03. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park

04. [ sunwoo | anon ] you’re infamous for being an asshole nd i had to sit next you in class. turns out you’re kinda nice one-on-one. 

05. i let you cheat with my answers on a test and then you got the highest grade possible nd now you owe me a HUGE favour.

06. i just got bowled over by your huge-as dog in the park nd now you’re profusely apologizing while trying to hold your dog off 

07. [ kun | anon ] i kind of naturally spoil people and like taking care of them, you’re always getting sick in class / feeling down in class nd omg i think the teacher ships us???

08. [ yuta | @najaemini​ ] you always like to make me embarrassed by leaning in too close or hitting on me, but i’m used to it now nd one day i decided to retaliate

09. [ ten | anon ] ok so when we were little i accidentally mentioned that i had a crush on you but i always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this!!!

10. [ donghyuck | anon ] why are you so clingy people will think we’re dating- i know we are but you’re the one who wants it to be secret you moron!

11. [ taeyong | @najaeminclub ] i understand that you’re my bodyguard but that was a freaking FRISBEE not a nuclear bomb jesus christ- hey why are you still on top of me and why have i not noticed how beautiful you are? 

12. you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me

13. [ irene | anon ] you had a party and i got really drunk and stole your toaster, so i showed up the next day to return it and you were really hungover so i made you breakfast (but i burnt all of it)

14. [ jungwoo | anon ] you have dimension-jumping powers and you’re mad that literally EVERY OTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF is dating ( insert idol ). then ur idol asks u out and is confused when u screams ‘FUCKING FINALLY, JACKASS!’

15. [ hyunjae | anon ] i suggested we play spin the bottle so i could kiss you, but now everyone else is kissing you except me :/

[kissmymongoose]

Found a lot of new DIY bath products and I am stoked! I can make a difference when it comes to putting bad damaging chemicals on our bodies! Im excited to start making my own soaps, scrubs, soaks, makeup removing wipes, and more! We are gonna get some theives essential oil, which can be used to make household cleaning products as well! All safe to use! Just think of the difference simply making your own soaps and cleaners could do. Not just by making it safer, but also cheaper and more effective!

Im still plowing away at clothes. Some days i do more than others. I said i was going to fold the laundry as it dries from now on, but have had to put 2 loads on the couch already 😭 I did fold the majority of it afterward, but thats not the point! 😜

Anyway, my mom and i got into an argument over dirty dishes and i flipped a little cause ive been busting my dang rump! Shes just grumpy over some other shit, taking it out on me. Plus we all have a nasty cold. David swears its the flu, but he better get his ass up for work. 😑 speaking of getting our asses up, i really need to go do something productive. Ive been sitting here for over an hour now.

Gonna go practice some self love and find an outfit in my nice, fresh, decluttered closet. Then i think ill take a bath, get dressed, and put some eye liner and eye shadow on. After that, ill get some work done and make something to eat. Well, food may come sooner than I think. I get hungry way too easily with hyperthyroidism. I really wanna focus on the house today, because from Wednesday to Friday im gonna be pretty busy. I also want to look into fresher, healthier foods. I love my garden but i dont always make the lightest or healthiest things with its produce- or I simply pair it with something super unhealthy. Anyway, im just rambling and procrastinating at this point. Gonna go do some junk! Get up you lazy bitch!

[ichangedmymindalready-blog]

Day 5 Trying not to take stuff for granted, being grateful

I woke up this morning having to shit really bad because I ate a whole all-star meal at Waffle House with two glasses of OJ. I couldn’t decide if I should shit in the airport parking garage, find a bathroom near the airport or drive to a gas station bathroom. I ended up trying to find a bathroom in the garage - NONE. So I drove as fast as possible to the nearest hopefully clean gas station. I shit, I took a bird bath, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, took a couple bathroom pics with my laptop, and then cleaned my car. A laundry mat is right next to the gas station so I instantly thought of starting the day off with dancing but realized there is a worker in there and its kinda weird dancing in a place where people work. Instead, I researched everywhere I was thinking about going today with my GPS and headed to my first spot, Centinnel park. A park in between all the places near downtown Atlanta I wanted to explore. I tried to find Parking that was super cheap or free but couldn’t find that. I circled around the park about twice until I blew a tire trying to circle it my third time. Instantly drove to a gas station, thought I was shit out of luck but didn’t lose my cool, searched for the spare tire - FOUND IT.  I searched for people to help me instead of wasting time pretending to know what I was doing. I spotted out two different construction worker men who looked like they were going to work, I asked  if they could help. One was Mexican and seemed like he couldn’t speak English, he told me he was waiting on someone and about to go to work but never left even after I left, the other guy was black and told me he had to go to work but by the time I finally got someone to help me, he was getting into a car with a odly skinny woman with stray hair and her hands tightened around a few bucks. Finally a guy in the store who ended up actually on the job as a Doritos delivery truck person, helped me and joined him a old black guy with a fat red sports car. After that I Called a bunch of tire places, found one, and headed there. while driving, I listened to Karinas groovy and dance Soundcloud playlists and found some gems, my favorite now to be ____. Finally after some wrong turns on Atlanta butchered roads, I found the tire place got my tired done in twenty minutes, while that was happening I visited a photo place that had film cameras and lenses and found a Nikon battery charger! Now I can take pics! I mightt just stay an extra day in ATL. After getting my charger and fixing my car, went to search the area nad they have a lot of African foods here but I have already spent so much money can’t do that so I sit outside working on my laptop liked I had planned to do later in the day but I figured why not get this anxiety out the way since they paid me. Shit they dont have wifi. What the next stop? But first let me gut this blunt, through the paper in my bad then head to my car ( the spot where I do all my research, the lab) and Search and refinalize my days plan. I head straight to little five points, I park in the neighborhood for da free. I roll a half joint because I broke the paper when I threw it in my bag, grab all my shit and walk into the nearest, cafe or coffee shop. ITs 130 thats how Ive been starting my days and Im cool with it. Im in this place called Brewhouse cafe but its looks nothing more than a bar, a European soccer bar , which is pretty dope to me. I want to go to a European bar just to watch soccer and be a part of the hype honestly. Or an actually soccer match that would be awesome. Ive been doing my work now for about three hours but it feels like 5. But im watching soccer and eating sunflower seeds so im a be alright! So finally got out at the actual 5th hour and I walked through the town and ATLANTA IS A MAGNIFICENT GLAMOUROUS CLUTTER its like my closet theres so much different things that you can go through. So I went through every single store out of 5 stores until it was 630 and time for me to head to the movies. I went through a crystal store which was out of my comfort zone because I dont really believe in that and I was so about not being a non believe. Before we talk about the stores lets talk bout how all outside theres a line of homeless people, Atlanta has a problem with that but its okay., anyways, so either the homeless people are selling stuff or staring not a problem though, but anyways so most of them areselling crystals or smoking weed illegally doing card tricks for people its like Las Vegas strip for the needy. Anyways, I goo into the asecond store and I dont remember verbatim what the second store was so inn just gonna go off of what I remember. There was a medical marijuana store, a record store, a vintage thrift shop, a African store, and a store with a question mark on top of it with a sign on the door saying the hours are maybe this and maybe that and it was awesome to se that. I love this place, s after many many many pictures, I realize that I found my favorite record store and they sell a lot of comics here. Its time to go, I go to the car smoke that half a blunt as. I lose my way to the movie theatre. When I get to the movie theatre I realize this is my favorite movie theater because the shit they show is so fiucking underground but so fucking good. So I saw this movie called the killing of a sacred deer and its one of my favorites, its thriller like split and I realized those are my favorite movies. On to the next movie theater - yes next movie theatre -yes Im splurging- sue me. So its drive in first of all - second of all - I got in for free by going through the exit, the security was laid up against the ticket box looked me in the eye and i swear he shrugged, anyways I get in and find the station and boom im sitting there watching Boo 2! - good ass movie by the way, I LOVE MADEA FOR A REEASON SOME FUNNY ASS SHIT - by the way I bought some more blunts on the way to the second movie theatre at a gas station and heated up some ramen and popcorn - im set. So im high as shit laughing and killing the game with life. I leave hungry as shit and trying to finda place that doesnt cost to sleep. I find PONCE - a cool looking neighborhood thats modern, I look for a parking garage- gotta pay, neighborhood - shady, I finally go to this apt complex with a security camera but loose parkinhg, before I actually park, I go to find some food - =instantly I look up mcdonalds and go to just get some fries because aim on a budget. FUCKKK theres a local restraint HEL YEA BUDGET OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW, I go and its fucking awesome its called THE COOKOUT and I dont know if its just me being high or what but their food is fucking amazing. I order - burger, corn dog, fries and shake for like 7 bucks. I park in this drive in style parking lot set up the office and boom im in heaven once again. Doing what I want, then a guy passes by my car and open the door with one hand in his pocket - bitch im out -  no way am I gonna open a door with onehand in my pocket unless I have gun- later I discovered its pretty cold he has a reasonable reason but I couldn’t do it. So now im in the “home” lot nad eating watching thats 70s show cause I missed it and im on the last seaozon of the office - gotta calm down. I go to sleep after eating and boom a day was made.