#down goes bama

[missathlete31]

This man! Love him and his Texas obsession!

Hook ‘Em Horns 🤘🧡

[hugshughes]

Rose Bowl, Baby! J. McCarthy

JJ McCarthy x fem!reader

synopsis - JJ wins it all, and he has his girl right with him the whole time.

wc - 2k!

contains - THIS IS SOOOOOO CUTE AWWW, cursing, stressed!reader (ME TOO AS FUCK), fluff, kissinnnnnnn, hugginnnnn, cute shit, FUCK THE TIDE :D, um that's it! oh established relationship!

an - unedited lol sorry i just wrote this in like two hours! 😭JJ😭BABY😭WON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I WAS SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AND I DANCED. especially because my mother, brother, and sister were all pulling for Bama to make me mad. LAUGHED IN THEIR FACES LMAOOOOO. i was on facetime with my man for like half the game since i am a umich student... WAIT DO U GUYS KNOW THAT....? i dont think ive told u guys that... SURPRISE!!!!!! anyway no one reads these anyway so. ENJOYYYYYYYYYYY :)))))))!

-

One minute and thirty eight seconds. One minute and thirty eight seconds, that's how long JJ and the Wolverine's offense had to score a touchdown. 2nd & Goal, four yards to go. You held JJ's mom's hand as you took deep breaths, desperately trying to calm down. JJ could do this, you knew it. You stared him down as he stood infront of Coach Harbaugh, Alabama had called the last time out of the game.

Michigan needed this score to take the game to overtime. JJ knew, you knew, everyone did. Once JJ clapped in the middle of the huddle, the offense started dispersing back into their spots on the field. Jay's eyes met yours, they had multiple times all night. He knew exactly where you sat, he'd made you text him your seat numbers before the game. You let go of his mom's hand and gestured your hands over your ears, headphones, you always told him. Just pretend it's just you and your guys. Block out everything else. He nodded at you, cracking a little smile before taking a deep breath and running out to the field, putting his helmet back on. His mom melted over the interaction, leaving you blushing.

You crossed your fingers and said a prayer, you'd prayed more than once tonight, you'd been praying about this games for weeks. You held his mom's hand in one of yours, and gripped your 'J' necklace in your other, bouncing on the balls of your feet. The play clock was running low, JJ clapped his hands, beckoning for the ball. It went straight to his hands, he looked around for maybe a second before passing precisely to Roman. He caught it, he had an open lane, he's in the end zone! Holy shit, he's in the end zone!

You jumped, screaming JJ's name, turning to hug his parents. You jumped up and down, a grin wide on your face as you cheered for your boy. His mom wrapped an arm around you as you watched him tearily.

The next Michigan drive was messy, and had you scared, but when the time ran out, you were jumping up and down, shouting and cheering, hugging everyone around.

"Our boy did it!"

You nodded, laughing as you wiped tears from your eyes. The game wasn't over, you knew that. JJ's eyes found yours again, he shook his head in disbelief with a grin, gesturing headphones to you. You nodded, fanning your face from the tears, but smiling so wide it didn't matter.

You sighed happily when you watched Alabama defer their OT possession, that's what JJ wanted, if the game went to overtime, he wanted to go first, it would put more pressure on The Crimson Tide to go second in the long run.

You held your necklace close to your mouth as you closed your eyes, letting out deep breaths. JJ had this, you knew it.

The offensive and defensive lines faced each other at the Alabama 25. JJ clapped, the ball was sent straight to his hands, he quickly handed the ball off the Blake, who scurried around the defenders, landing at the Alabama 17. 'Thank God for Blake Corum' you whispered to yourself.

You saw JJ hiding a smile behind his mouth guard, and you knew this was it. Jay claps, and the ball is snapped straight to him, the ball goes straight to Blake, who has a completely open lane.

"Go Blake, go!"

You screamed out, feeling Megan's hand grip yours. You held your intertwined hands up, watching Blake run. He was in the end zone, yes!

"Yes! JJ, yes!"

You screamed, jumping up and down you as watched your boy cheer. He did it! Thank God! You hugged everyone again, cheering some more when the kick went through the posts. The game still wasn't over, the defense still had to come out and play this game. You knew JJ wouldn't be able to assist his team anymore on the field, but you also knew he was now gonna be the biggest hype man for his defensive teammates.

You bit on your dark blue acrylic nails as you watched Alabama line up at the Michigan 25. You winced as the game went from 3rd & goal at the Michigan 14 to 4th & goal at the Michigan 3. One more play, make or break.

You saw Jalen Milroe clap for the ball, and run straight into the O-line of Michigan. Nothing! He got nothing! Oh my God, Michigan won! You watched JJ sprint onto the field as you screamed, jumping up and down for the third time. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you shouted, hugging Michigan fans you didn't know. Your smile couldn't have been punched off of your face.

The blue and maize confetti flew, you watched tearily as the Michigan guys flooded the field. You watched JJ grab his rose, talking to a reporter. His bright smile and gorgeous face was spread on every screen in the stadium. Your boy had done it, finally. You watched as your sweet boy accepted the Rose Bowl trophy with Blake, his smile never leaving his face.

You ran down the few rows to the bottom row of the bleachers, standing with other Michigan player families as the boys were dispersing back to the sideline, finding their loved ones. JJ, being the star quarterback he was, took a while longer to get over to you guys, but it didn't matter to you.

You two locked eyes, matching smiles on your faces as he ran over to your group. You let him talk to his parents and sisters first, before he moved over to you.

"Come'ere baby!"

You grinned as you leaned down over the barrier, JJ's hands grabbing at your waist to safely pull you closer, kissing you passionately. Your hands cupped his face, as you both smiled into the kiss. You pulled away, whispering to him with a big smile.

"You did it lovey!"

He nodded, his bright smile lighting up your heart.

"Can you just jump the barrier instead of going back through the halls?"

"S'that allowed?"

He looked around, quickly asking an employee of the stadium standing down against the barrier. The employee looked at JJ with wide eyes, nodding at the quarterback, though he probably didn't exactly have the position to answer him.

"See? You're fine, c'mon angel!"

You looked around, seeing one of the guy's little brother being passed over the barrier, then to Megan who shrugged with a smile, nodding for you to go ahead. You slide your phone in the pocket of your jeans, sitting on the barrier before turning around towards JJ, who held his hands on your waist.

"Can't believe I'm doin' this."

JJ laughed, pulling you down as you slightly jumped off the wall, down into his arms on the field. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"I'm so proud of you, Jay. You are so talented, baby."

He pulled away from you, cupping your face with his hands, touching his forehead to yours.

"Just had to remember my headphones, like always."

You nodded, laughing and kissing him again, JJ leaned back, your feet leaving the ground for a few seconds as he kissed you. You both pulled away giggling. You got a random burst of energy, electricity pulsing through your veins.

"Ah! Oh my God, you won!"

You pulled away from JJ, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down. His smile widened, he was so, absolutely in love with you, but watching you support him so wholeheartedly, made his heart squeeze extra with love.

"Yeah! I got the Rose Bowl, baby!"

JJ's family came through the tunnel, having chose the safer route to get to the field. He hugged his family, talking with them and taking pictures. You took a few of them on your phone, smiling sadly at how cute they were.

"Angel! Come take a picture with me!"

You smiled, nodding as you went over to your smiley boyfriend. He took his winner's hat off and plopped it onto your head, it was sweaty, but you didn't care. You did one picture standing next to each other, his arm around your hips as you both smiled brightly. Then there was one where JJ kissed your cheek out of nowhere, then another taken the moment after where you both laughed as you wiped the eyeblack he spread to you off of your cheek.

They were adorable, objectively. Your group was soon exiting down the tunnel, bidding JJ goodbye with a quick kiss as he walked back towards the locker room.

Once you were all reunited with JJ he told you all he wanted to go back to the hotel and get food delivered to the hotel. That was your boy, even after the big win all he wanted to do was go back to his bed.

You got back to the hotel after a long car ride through Rose Bowl traffic, and quickly went up to your room. You and JJ were sharing, though he was technically supposed to be in his football assigned hotel room, he was crashing in yours. His parents knew, you two were trusted, and old enough to make your own decisions.

You showered as Jay laid in your bed, watching the Texas and Washington game. You came out of the bathroom in your pajamas, quickly crawling into bed next to JJ. He pulled you inbetween his legs, wrapping his arms around your middle. You were both tired, him more than you. You noticed the plastic bag sitting on the nightstand.

"What'd you get us to eat?"

You kissed him when he told you he got chicken tenders. You both watched the Sugar Bowl as you ate your dinner. You both got up to throw away your trash and brush your teeth before turning off all the lights and getting right back in bed. JJ watched the game as you laid on his chest, scrolling through your phone, showing him TikToks and Instagram posts of videos taken of you two from the game every little bit. You two were going viral among the teenage girls and fan pages.

When the game finished JJ turned off the TV, and you put your phone away as you two shifted so that JJ was laying with his head on your chest. You played with his sandy hair as you talked.

"I still can't believe all of it, it's just crazy."

"Well I can believe it, I knew you could do it. You know I was scared when we were getting close to the end of regulation, but then I saw you smile right before your last play of the regulation TD run, you know right before Roman got the touchdown, and I just knew it."

JJ looked up at you in the dark, he had hearts in his eyes. You were everything to him, just completely everything.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, baby. 'M so proud of you."

[quitealotofsodapop]

Would it just be perfect timing if MK had decided it was time to hatch during the trial for Macaque's soul? Like, Wukong be there spinning this sob story (that's actually mostly true for once) about how he jsut wanted to ensure his child could comenintot he world safely and it would be so very cruel to drag his Bama to Diyu before be even has a chance to see their precious little one! Then Wukong suddenly freezes, ever god and goddess of childbirth, motherhood, and children present suddenly tenses, and the court goes silent.

Wikong jsut whispers out: Oh... the baby.

And suddenly, they're all hurrying to get Wukong to the infirmary or his quarters (the original ones built for him when he first became the Great Sage and before he ruined the festival, nobkdy had bothered to remodel them), anywhere really so long as it's not in the middle of the FREAKING THRONE ROOM!! The good news, literally every maternity god and goddess is there to play wetnurse and tend to Wukong or help keep Macaque calmed (a job that mainly falls to Nez Ha because Macaque is very much freaking out). Bad news is that Wukogn was REALLY hoping his egg would have picked a better time and place because the Heavenly Court and being tended to by the Queen Mother herself (she's THE mother goddess of China, guys, she'llhe involved alongside Guanyin) and every other god remotely related to his child wasn't in his list things he wanted to do. One unexpected benefit of this was that after all was said and done, Sun Qi Xiaoation's arrival had actually helped to push the trial into Wukong's favor since not a lot of people are willing to separate a new mother from her mate right after giving birth, although Wukong will be forced to spend several weeks if not months in the Celestial Realm afterwards during his recovery.

referencing SWK in Heaven's Court.

Oh gosh just imagine. The Stone Egg has been comfortably baking for nearly 500 years, it's parent is awake and has been reunited with their mate, and they're being exposed to a lot of healthy divine magical energy.

So when Wukong steps into the Jade Palace, its like a countdown to when the Egg decides "Hey Imma hatch like right now."

More writting under read more cus talk of childbirth stuff;

Continue'd;

The trial for Macaque's soul and LBD's contract takes hours to resolve, and Wukong is getting more and more frustrated as it drags on, even with Fire Star's amazing lawyer-ing.

Doesn't help that Wukong's stomach has been feeling like a washing machine all day and he seems to have mega indigestion that won't go away. A bunch of gods also keep looking at him with weird concerned glances - Weirdos.

Then, after Wukong is forced to explain his condition/why he sought out immortality in the first place - a small trickle is heard in the quiet courtroom.

Wukong quickly looks down, super embarassed thinking he's lost control of his body - only for him and the witnesses to notice that the liquid is clear.

Complete and utter chaos breaks out in the Throne Room as the situation sinks in.

Someone is giving birth in the Throne Room of the Jade Emperor. And it's THE MONKEY KING!!!

Guanyin, in the defence's side: "BED. NOW." (*Wukong is lifted up by Pigsy and Sandy into a soft cloud-like bed and is brought to the nearest guest room. A bunch of maternity gods follow them, including the Queen Mother herself. Nezha escorts Macaque in seeing how the Shadow Monkey is handcuffed.*) Wukong: "H-hey! I thought the water breaking can still mean a few hours to go!" Guanyin: "Normally yes. But it seems you've been in active labor since the trial started. Your baby wants out now." Wukong: "You sure-OW!" *contractions get stronger* "Yep! It's trying to bust out all right!"

The room has to be closed off from lookyloos as it's already stuffed with at least ten people - most family or gods. Nezha and Sandy are helping Macaque breathe slowly as the shadow monkey/other parent of the baby (at least according to what was heard in the trial) is panicking like any other bama would.

Tang and Princess Iron Fan are at Wukong's side, holding his hand as any good family would, wondering how thrilled DBK would have been to be here. PIF is glad that the Ao-Long couple agreed to babysit little Redson on earth during the Trial, as she's certain that her fireball would have bitten and charged at anyone that came close to his favorite monkey. Pigsy is outside the guest room with all the royal court members, offering to make them some coffee and noodles as he makes some calls to earth - they agree but are a bit confused why Marshal Tianpeng is here and why his cooking is so good?

The Queen Mother is ultimately the one who catches the cracking egg-shaped thing as Wukong pushes it out into the world. Within seconds of touching the air, the shell of the egg practically explodes, leaving a tiny, screaming newborn in the Goddess's palm.

Wukong is sobbing with joy as he hears the healthy crying chirps coming from his baby. He sees them squirming as Guanyin washes remnants of the Stone Egg from their body. His little one is so strong and perfect already.

Macaque escapes his bindings via shadow portal (Nezha: "Hey!") to join his mate on the bed, no god moves to stop him. Mac doesn't last long before he's crying into Wukong's neck at the sight of *their* cub. The cub is quickly wrapped in the shadow monkey's (thankfully laundered) red scarf before being passed into Wukong's excited arms.

The baby isn't a direct copy of the Monkey King. Their face marking is a brownish half-heart that scatters into freckles at their chubby cheeks. Their fur is a silky brown-black almost the texture and shade of Macaque's(!!). They keep their eyes closed for the moment, far more interested in latching on to their birth parent's chest for their first meal.

And if Wukong doesn't feel like he's holding a little piece of heaven in his arms right now, he'd be lying to himself.

Wukong: "Xiaotian. You are my Xiaotian."

A series of quiet Awws ripples through the room and into the hallway beyond the closed doors. The Queen Mother even smiles.

SWK wins his case against Heaven and Diyu for his mate's soul. Even the gods can't bare to separate this new family. Preparations are made to apprehend the Lady Bone Demon for creating a geas that violated Diyu's laws.

PIF pays Fire Star generously for their lawyering.

[secret-sadist-somnophiles-stuff]

Big Carl goes down hard #2

Carl is the type of man that attracts female and male attention. A big bear of a man with a body honed by physical work, he nonetheless had a childish innocence and was duped easily. Carl's apartment was located in a building in an up and coming part of town. That said there were always issues of some sort or another, particularly with the utilities.  The super, Roger was luckily always on hand to sort Carl's water issues – of course, Roger was out of his mind horny for Carl and engineered better than 80% of the problems to spend time in his company.

Carl called Roger with yet another faucet issue and Roger dropped by just as Carl was getting ready for a night on the town with the new tenants in 6C. Roger raged internally – he already know from his  spying that the new tenants swung wide and once they had hands on Carl, Carl wouldn’t look twice Rogers way. Tonight would have to be the night. Rogers mind flew into jealous overdrive, and as he heard Carls shower running, Roger disconnected the electrical supply, and crossed the cables with the metal piping in Carls apartment, electrifying the water supply. It wasn’t long before there was a heavy meaty thud, and Roger took the stairs five steps at a time to the master bedroom.

There on the floor of the shower lay Carl, dripping wet, unconscious and helpless. Roger almost danced a jig of joy, turned back downstairs and righted the electrical supply, safely, before almost sailing back upstairs on a horny cloud.

Carl still lay unconscious where he had fallen heavily. Roger couldn’t believe his luck. Fuck the stud looked good. Trembling, Roger manhandled his prize. Then he dried Carl off with a towel, lingering where he wanted to, and then secured Carl’s body with rope from his pickup, and laid the stud out on the first floor foyer sofa, tying him securely to the banister. He played with Carls cock until it was rigid, and then milked his dick until Carls brain switched on, and he began to recover, his mind a confused mess as the super worked over his body edging him mercilessly, and the need to cum was paramount. But .. uhh - his head still hurt bad somehow and the room spun and he couldn't get a damn clear look at the bastard milking his hard cock.

Means, motive and opportunity. Always be prepared.

So - the league of purity and decency judged Ole Carl's penis to be the source of all evil in the world, and some old lady in 'Bama was gonna lose some shut eye because of it. Bible thumpers love their fig leaves, so let's see if these fig leaves spare them and Carl their blushes ...

[kriszthomaspro]

Watching #Michigan and #Alabama with my daughter 🏈🏈🏈🏆🏆🏆 And down goes BAMA...

[reservoirreputation]

Why Not Both?: Extras

Notes for my ResDogs fic of the same name

title ideas, as I’m not totally sold on ‘Why Not Both?’:

Chaos Trio

Hate Fucking

summary: Larry and Vic are both into the new guy on the crew, fresh-faced Freddy. Both wanna shoot their shot, but the other guy is constantly cockblocking. Freddy goes from confused to flattered to annoyed in record time, and tries to scare at least one of them off; he’s interested in both men, and it’s up to Larry and Vic to figure out what they wanna do about it. Shock of all shocks, Vic agrees- and Larry can’t let him win, quickly agreeing, as well. Freddy plays it off like he’s won, in the end, but has a constant inner monologue of ‘oh SHIT, what now??’ going through his head. 

the world, expanded: AU of the events of the film, but Freddy isn’t a cop. It’s still Vic’s first job fresh out of the clinker, still on probation. Joe expresses some caution, and wants to ease Vic back into work (could be Vic got beat up in jail, got sick, maybe something happened to Eddie? To Joe, even? Maybe Joe’s plans for the jewelry store simply fell through, maybe there was a leak in the LAPD warning him about their plans to get in Joe’s inner circle. A moment even, of showing how competent Freddy was in the film to get as far as he did, and how the undercover job could’ve gone tits up before it ever got off the ground, in the hands of someone else. Really, this is an examination of ‘what if everything else in the story remained the same, but Freddy went down more the path of ‘Orange’ rather than ‘Officer’, showing that he was fully capable of both since as long as he could remember.

Still have it be the first time Larry and Vic interact; have Joe be cautious, probably about the LAPD tip, and want any of his guys to work alone, but for there to also be no big jobs. And, wouldn’t you know? Vic Vega and Larry Dimmick have never met. And if this thing between Vic and Eddie is that serious, Vic should get to know some of Joe’s oldest and most trusted allies. So, these two buddy up as a pair, maybe an occasional word from the other dogs, especially Blue.

After a couple of stressful, small jobs, Larry and Vic blow off some steam at a local watering hole- and someone quickly catches Larry’s attention. Cute older guy, likely in his 40s. Larry starts off talking to him, goes to use the bathroom, comes back out-

-and Vega’s flirting with his catch.

During a moment where the cute 40-something is gone, Larry asks Vic what the fuck he’s doing? ‘Aren’t you with Eddie?’ ‘we’re not exclusive.’ ‘Well, how big of you. Now why don’t you leave this guy to me? I wasn’t exactly being subtle about my intentions’ ‘shouldn’t what’s his name get to choose? Put on a better game, and you’ll have nothing to worry about.’ and Larry doesn’t care for this, just lets it go. Frustrated, sure, but he’s not in high school and doesn’t need this immature bullshit. The next time, about a week later, they’re at a different bar, and Larry has his eyes on a new prize; a gorgeous woman, closer to his age. It’s only been a few months since ‘Bama, and Larry’s more in the mood for dick, but he’s certain that Vic won’t care about cockblocking him on this. Which, of course, Vic has to go and prove him wrong, and do just that.

Vic motivation: he actually finds Larry attractive, and could use his words, and be very clear about his intentions, but he just loves winding people up so much. Maybe even foreshadow it with a ‘fight’ between Vic and Eddie at the start of the story. So, Vic really wants to sleep with Larry, but wants to piss him off, first.

Multi POV or only one? I think Larry’s POV is necessary, maybe some of Freddy’s, but the comedy of Larry’s ‘OH’ moment when he realizes Vic’s into him really hinges on us (the reader) being on the outside when it comes to Vic’s motivations.

The outline:

-Open to Joe’s office, and he’s giving Larry the lowdown on Vic Vega’s release, and how he’s anxious about any big jobs, because of the LAPD leak. How he’s shelved the jewelry store idea, and wants Larry to walk Vega through his probation. All that Larry knows about him is what Eddie rants and raves about, and thinks that Vega can’t be too bad.

-First time Larry and Vic meet, and Larry gets a bit of the creeps. Realizes pretty quickly that he’s met Vega’s kind before, and that the guy’s likely a psycho, wonders what the hell Eddie sees in him. 

-As a bonding exercise, Larry, Vic and Eddie go out for lunch. Vic just endlessly antagonizes Eddie, and Larry wonders how the hell they can stand each other. Maybe a narrator moment of Larry looking away, and Eddie and Vic giving the closest thing to puppy dog eyes that they’re capable of.

-A recap of the first week, and various smalltime jobs. Larry mostly drives, leads the charge, and Vic starts needling him about this, implying that Larry’s a control freak. Larry doesn’t take the bait, keeps his place behind the wheel. He does feel a bit ridiculous though, physically taking charge when Vic’s obviously so much bigger than him (a fun parallel to that one scene in BSN)

-First bar, Larry’s trying to ignore Vic’s general weirdness, and sees a hot, younger guy as the perfect distraction. Cockblocking ensues.

-Another recap, this time of week two. A meeting with Joe, where he’s starting to get more comfortable with the idea of a medium-sized job. Wants to bring in a new face, has his eye on a few guys, including the likes of Dennis (Brown), Mark (Pink) and Freddy (Orange). Wants Larry to go over these potential hires with him soon, probably take Joe another week to really check these guys over, make sure there are no undercover fucks/snitches, considering how close the last call was. 

-Second bar in as many weeks, Larry tries shooting his shot with a woman around his age, thinking that Vic’s just gay, but the guy makes a point to ruin Larry’s chances (be it by flirting with the woman, himself, or by scaring her off). Larry’s really annoyed, but still tries to be the bigger man. He justifies his just- letting it go, by convincing himself he needs to more professional, and that these bar trips were still very much on the clock.

-Week three, and the auditions begin. Blue joins as a panel judge of sorts, and Larry’s in quiet awe because he’s heard so much about the guy. So, Larry, Blue, Joe and Eddie go through the new candidates (another throwback, this time to S&R, but instead of a panicked Larry looking for his LAPD contact-) and Larry’s kinda happy to be rid of Vic, feeling like he can properly breathe for the first time in days. Sure, there was downtime at home, but work always promised more interactions with the psycho. Funny enough, Larry’s mind keeps wandering back to Vic, showing that distance does make the heart grow fonder. All that goes out the window when Larry lays eyes on Freddy Newandyke. Instant connection, palpable chemistry, and Larry’s smitten. He finds himself thinking as well, ‘Finally, something that Vic can’t mess up!’ and tries to push down the odd feeling of guilt that rears its ugly head.

-At home, able to digest everything, Larry (attempts to) comes to his senses: he likes the new kid, Freddy, but he’s so young, even younger than Vic (ad why should Larry make that comparison to begin with?). That, along with how new the kid is to a more organized operation, it would be all kinds of gross to take advantage of that; surely Larry could say ‘jump’ and the kid would ask ‘how high?’. It’s unethical, unprofessional, and, besides, ‘what would Vic have to say about it?’

-The next day, Joe tells Larry that he and Vic are doing so well as a duo, that he thinks Larry can fit more on his plate. Blue’s taking on Dennis and Mark, so it’s only right that Larry and Vic take on Freddy. Happiness surges, and is quickly tamped down, as Larry agrees to the arrangement, because what else is he supposed to do, to say?

-The first job of the new trio. If Larry’s a people person, and Vic’s the muscle, then Freddy’s a smooth talker. Where there’s a generational gap between Larry and some of the people they have to talk to, Freddy fills in the gap, quite nicely. Larry can’t help but reflect on this with pride, at the end of a long day.

-The fourth week, and fourth bar. Freddy’s been giving Larry signals all week, and Larry can’t help but get his hopes up… because it’s plain as day that Freddy’s been sending the same signals to Vic. Again, trying to be the rational one, Larry figures that Freddy’s just got a flirty personality, and doesn’t mean anything by it. Only, one particular talk between him and the kid clinches it, and he knows for certain that Freddy’s interested. Larry’s high on love, though it’s too soon to call it like it is. He heads to the bathroom, cleans up a bit, justifies sleeping with the guy, that Joe can’t be that much of a hypocrite, giving Larry shit over a coworker lay while letting Eddie and Vic continue on, unbothered, and is also just so jazzed that a young, confident catch like Freddy wants anything to do with him. He’s so high on the potential lay, that all the air is sucked out of the room when he leaves the toilet-

-and sees Vic chatting Freddy up. Like the two previous outings, Vic’s ready to spoil his catch. Larry, completely fed up at this point, isn’t willing to let Freddy get scared off/swept up just like that.

Notes on outline, draft #1: to make it stand out more from other fics, and vary up the locations, cut down on the amount of bar scenes. Maybe only have 2: the first weekend, and possibly Larry and Vic stop by a gay bar for the sake of convenience, and the auditions, where we meet Dennis, Mark and Freddy for the first time. Week two could be a taco truck by the beach, and Larry seeing the older woman out in the wild. Week four/Larry’s pass at Freddy can be in the car on the way home; maybe Larry’s hoping for privacy, but the route means dropping Freddy off, first, so he tries to make the proposal while they’re getting dinner (though Larry’s not really hungry) and he keeps waiting for Vic to give them some space, like heading off to the bathroom, or even just calling Eddie to pick him up, something. Just to get a variety of settings and locations.

[ifonlywehadtalked]

Okie okie okie so I was surfing around Pinterest cause I was bored as hell and I came across one of those like "Americana Regional Gothic" posts or whatever and it got me thinking about like, not quite cryptid states but them interacting with the things that make their regions weird idk just here give me a mo'.

Back roads, Louisiana. It's nearing sunset and shadows are getting long, luckily it ain't nearly as hot as the weatherman said it was gonna be but it's muggier than shit so you ain't thanking nobody yet. You're under the hood of your car cause the old girl decided now, in the middle of nowhere with a trunk full of groceries and three of your friends, that's the time to become your problem. One the shadows closest to you elongates.

"Wouldn'tve had this fucking problem if youse hadn't demanded we take this piece of shit clunker, Loui."

You huff, not even bothering look up at New York. "My state, my car, couyon. Y'all call Bama yet? Much longer out here in this heat-" You turn your head to the overly tall bastard and it ain't the jacket (He's still wearing that?) that catches your attention but the figures down the slope of the embankment. Two people standing right where swamp meets gravel, smiling up at you and your group. "York, get in the car."

"Fuckin wha-"

You slam the hood down. "Get in the goddamn car York!" That surprises him, you can see it in the way he goes stiff, and nods before heading for the passenger side. You hate being short with people, but with the sun setting fast, you ain't got much time to explain.

Okay, I've decided that this is getting too long and I'm just gonna write a little drabble and post it soon. But!! The idea stands!!! Tell me what y'all think, I would love to hear y'all's thoughts on this and states interacting with creepy atmospheres. I'm sorry it's in 2nd person and I'll be back with more. That's a threat.

[maxwell-grant]

Pulp heroes are well known for wielding guns, but are there any that have different signature weapons? Are there any weapons you would love to see a pulp hero wield?

(Green Lama art by edude-makes-comics)

Quite a few, yeah. In general, because there was only so much violence the heroes could get away with, most of the really out-there batshit weapons tended to be the ones created and wielded by the villains, with “guy with a really weird weapon or method of murder that, either presents a mystery too confusing for regular law enforcement to solve, or a threat too dangerous to be allowed to exist” being easily one of the most reocurring kind of monster-of-the-week for most long-running pulp heroes. Guns were popular and ubiquotuous but not the only kind, even the more famous gun-toters like The Shadow or The Spider mixed things on occasion.

Some particular stand-outs among the gun-free pulp heroes, not counting the outright superpowers or non-boolit kinds of guns:

Doc Savage: I mean, kind of, partially included here because he’s a weird example of how gun-toting pulp heroes are so ubiquotous we attribute excessive gun usage even to characters who didn’t actually use them. Doc didn’t particularly have a “signature weapon”, but a lot of modern renditions of Doc Savage based on the James Bama rendition depict him with big bulky guns to the point that Doc’s “signature weapon” nowadays might as well be a Flash Gordon flare gun, but despite the existence of “mercy bullets”, Doc Savage actually hated using guns of any kind as anything other than a last-resort (and even then, that’s what the mercy bullets were for). Doc sometimes invented new forms of weaponry, like miniature grenades, specialized explosives and gas-filled glass balls, to be used on occasion.

Doc is mostly included here because his assistant Ham Brooks actually did have one of the more famous signature weapons of the pulps: a black cane with a concealed sword, coated with a potent anesthetic.

The Green Lama: Who detested guns about as much as Batman. His signature weapon consisted of his long red scarf that he used as a whip and garrote, which makes a pretty funny contrast with the fact that he’s the pacifist American pulp hero, so that means he non-lethally strangles the absolute shit out of criminals instead of shooting them.

Zenigata Heiji: A highly popular detective who appeared in novels, collections and short stories from 1931 to 1958, probably the most direct example of a Japanese Pulp Hero I’ve seen thus far. He’s an Edo-period working class Great Detective who unofficially works for the government in assisting the police without being quite one of them himself. He is most famous for his signature weapons: a jutte he wields, and the heavy coins (called zeni, hence his name) he throws at criminals to catch them.

Zorro: Kinda goes with saying and that goes for all the other Zorro knock-offs / alikes who also largely employed physical bladed weaponry like swords, rapiers, sabers, and etc.

Indiana Jones: Also kinda goes without saying.

(Dossouye art by Paul Davey)

Sword and Sorcery characters in general: Robert E.Howard’s Conan and Conan-alikes (as well as Solomon Kane, whose signature weapon is a staff), figures that veer into an opposite end like Elric and his Stormbringer, and Charles R Saunders’ Dossouye tends to be depicted often with spears and machetes. You rarely see guns brought into sword-and-sorcery kind of pulp heroes, to not diminish the appeal of cutting down armies while going buck-wild naked with swords intrinsic to the genre.

The Avenger: His signature weapons consist of a gun named “Mike”, and a knife named “Ike”. That’s like, half of what you prompted, but still counts.

Occult Detectives: Several Occult Detective characters who follow closer on the Manly Wade Wellman / Carnacki approach tend to ditch guns in favor of classier or more occult-themed stuff, with both Judge Pursuivant and John Thunstone wielding sword canes, and Luna Bartendale’s divining rod.

Lavender Jack: Who has two signature weapons in the form of his clawed gloves that transmit explosive waves via fingersnap, and the canes that he uses for more direct combat.

Bob Larkin, a Black Mask detective created by Erle Stanley Gardner. The character uses a billliard cue as his main weapon and has 15 years worth of practice as a juggler to make the most use of it.

If we count Scrooge McDuck as a pulp hero, which we have to, we definitely gotta include his cane here as well.

Brutus Lloyd, who was created by The Golden Amazon’s creator John Russell Fearn and appeared in 3 stories for Amazing Stories. He’s a four-foot tall, deep-voiced scientist, criminologist and consulting detective who specializes in solving sci-fi crimes via unorthodox methods, and his main weapon consists of an umbrella tipped with acid he uses to defend himself. He debuted about a year before The Penguin did.

I’m sure there’s gotta be others I’m missing either in pulps or pulp-adjacent material, feel free to point out others in the notes. Now, as to the other part of your question, what kind of weapons I’d like to see pulp heroes wield,

Pretty much anything but pistols. Even other kinds of guns are fine, there’s a trillion wacky kinds of guns out there that can be used to mix things up.

Wrenches, Shovels, Fish wrapped in newspaper, Bottles, Russian Fists for Smashing Baybeez, etc: TF2 as a whole has a painfully massive extensive catalogue of just how many kinds of guns and weapons you can give your characters and it’s a huge source of inspiration for design, that’s where I’d be pulling a lot from. The wrench as a dramatic physical weapon in particular I think works really well for a pulp hero aesthetic.

Chainsaws: I have not been the same since Mandy gave me that sick stupid ass chainsaw duel. Nothing has ever tasted the same. I want more of it.

Gadgets that are completely fucking stupid but still work anyway because this is fiction and if anything this is another reason to do it, taking something that shouldn’t work and make it work.

A kitchen sink, because why should Batman get to have all the fun?

And everything in Weird Al’s Hardware Store. For a start. Make it work.

[davidpwilson2564]

Bloglet

Friday, December 1, 2023

A new month. Errands. Have to stretch my legs.

George Santos doesn't get the votes and is expelled. He leaves before Mike Johnson's gavel comes down. Followed by a herd of press people, he gets into a waiting black car. This, I'm thinking, may be one of his last limo rides on the government's dime.

I can't help thinking of a line from Spalding Gray's "Swimming to Cambodia." Spalding was in the "Cambodia" movie (small role) and during the filming was given first class treatment. When they no longer needed him he had to resign himself civilian life again. He writes: This is probably why Marylin Monroe killed herself. (Long story here...Spalding later killed himself...)

That dread feeling...when the show closes and the vicissitudes of life again close in. You're back on the street. Have experienced this many times.

We are not done with the fabluist George Santos. I think he will have a reality show and...isn't there a book coming out? He's not going away (for long). He'll turn up, like the proverbial bad penny.

Saturday, December 2, 2023

Very exciting game in Atlanta. Bama beats Georgia.

Nice weather. The feeling of not having walked quite enough. Gotta get in those steps.

Sunday, December 3, 2023

The Spectrum music channel. Charles Munch conducting that arrangement (by Manuel Rosenthal) of Offenbach. "Gaite Parisienne." So, a conductor even as great as Munch had to do his share of schlock. Next comes Bartok "Music for Strings, Percussion and Celeste." Terrific piece. I remember some of it was heard in a lesser horror movie. Things were bad enough for Bartok (long story here). I'm sure its use was uncredited.

Later: On a whim Kenichi goes to the Jets game in New Jersey. Sits with his brother in law in the rain. Phones me. Tells me he is coming back into the city and has a layover. In a while he shows up (a bit wet and...quite predictably...the Jets lost). We order food and hang out. He naps a bit on the sofa. Always good to see him.

I have made it through another week.

to be continued

[scribbling-stiks]

Spring - XXXV - Enclosed

Russia is helped off the ground and led to the couch. He collapses onto it with a sigh. He looks away from the windows, tuning out the chatter around him.

‘This is not going to end well.’

“What do we do now?” Massachusetts asks, and Russia’s head rises at the noise.

“I don’t know,” America replies, his voice blank.

“Dad?” A worried voice calls.

“I can’t wait to be home,” Egypt says.

“I think they're tryin’ to smoke us out,” Texas says, his eyes narrow as he scans the calm landscape outside.

The room erupts into chaos. Voices overlap with each other, and Russia’s head is filled with noise. He flinches and tries not to cover his ears.

“So do we camp out here?”

“What else are we gonna do?”

“Fight through ‘em?”

“How? We don’t know how many people there are.”

Russia starts shivering, his mind buzzing.

“And the magic is wicked strong too.”

“I'm scared.”

“What if this is how they capture us?”

“No, we got this far.”

“But this is new.”

“What if we get frozen again?”

“Frozen?” 

Russia covers his ears at the noise, gasping. Then, he takes a deep breath. The talking gets louder, and his heart pounds in his chest. 

‘I can’t think!’

‘I can’t breathe.’

“Quiet!” he demands, his hands falling to his lap.

‘I sound like my father,’ he registers faintly.

Everyone goes quiet, whipping around to look at him. Ukraine has a weird look on his face, but Russia decides to ignore it for now. He pants for a second, quickly scanning the room, his eyes wide.

“Are you-” Ukraine starts.

“We will find a way through this. And if they wanted to freeze us, they would have. Why give us warning?” Russia asks the group, ignoring Ukraine’s eyes.

“Then, what do we do?” Utah asks, his glasses slightly askew on his face.

Russia goes quiet for a second, feeling eyes on him, desperate for answers.

“We need more physical weapons,” Canada announces.

The room turns to face him.

“And what happens if we get attacked?” Massachusetts asks, his eyes narrow and his hands raised.

“No magic,” Russia says.

“Okay, I got that much,” Massachusetts says sarcastically, turning back toward Russia, “but what do we do?”

“We go on the defensive,” Dixie says hoarsely.

“So we’re just sitting ducks then?” Massachusetts rebutts.

“We’re being surrounded,” Russia says, “we don’t know what they might have.”

‘And I don’t want to make this worse.’

“And we have no way to prepare if we run,” Maine chimes in, “Verge and I are trying our best, but we can’t do any weaponsmithing on the road.”

“And Bama and I won't find nothing useful for it either,” Mississippi adds.

“Dixie? What do we do?” one of the states asks from the crowd.

The room goes quiet, and Dixie sits up a little, flinching at the movement. He coughs lightly, cradling his ribs at the movement.

“I don’t have it all figured out…”

‘But you sound like you have ideas,’ Russia thinks, relief twinged with guilt tucks itself away in his chest.

“But you probably have more than we do,” America says reluctantly.

Dixie sighs.

“We need to have rotating guards, and another meal time for that,” he says, gesturing with his good hand, “I’ll draw up a map for where y’all’d be stationed. I’m thinking rotating between stations every maybe 15 minutes.”

‘He needs to be sleeping, not doing this…’

“Is bunk buddies still gonna happen?” Oklahoma asks.

“Yeah, and I’ll be pairing up people who don't already have partners and plan to stay. I’ll write that down at some point.”

“And us?” Maine asks.

“You and Verge will have to teach some of your siblings how to forge weapons.”

“But-”

“You’re gonna need the extra hands,” Dixie says firmly, “I know neither of you like doin’ it, but we don't have time for y’all to do it all yourselves.”

“And the fibercrafts?”

“Del is in-charge of it, but I’ll figure out who's gonna be helpin’ with that.”

“Do we start guard rotations now?”

“How do those work again?”

“Hold on y’all,” Dixie says, waving his hand, “I just said I don’t got it all figured out, but yeah, we should have a watch go out.”

“We still have walkie-talkies!” Iowa volunteers.

“And we’ll make use of those,” Dixie says, giving her a grateful look.

“So that’s it? We just wait here?” Ohio demands.

“You will listen to Dixie,” Finland says, her tone final, “There is nothing else we can do.”

“And y’all,” Dixie says, gesturing to Phillippines, “will just have to be careful heading out.”

“Obviously,” Philippines says with a smirk.

Dixie sighs, rubbing his face.

“All y’all should probably also see what I’ve still got in storage.”

“What are you talking about?”

‘Is there more stuff here that can help us?’

“I’ve got some old hunting and magic stuff,” Dixie explains, “and it ain’t like I’ll be using it.”

Dixie lets a pained chuckle past his lips, and Russia flinches at it.

“Where haven’t we checked?”

“I don’t remember where I put everythin’,” Dixie says, looking down, “but anythin’ y’all gave me, it’s around here somewhere.”

~

Next

Previous

Table of contents

[theblogofsecfootball]

Week 2: Down goes Bama

Week 2 in the SEC was a big one with the conference going 11-3 and Bama falling at home. UT and Oklahoma proved once again that they can hold their own in the SEC, both starting the season 2-0. Teams like Ole Miss, Florida, and LSU picked up important wins while Texas A&M and Vanderbilt were served their first loses of the season. There wasn't much action across the rest of the conference as most teams are looking ahead at more difficult week three opponents. Alabama needs to bounce back versus South Florida while Florida plays Tennessee and Mississippi State faces off against LSU.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Post-JTTW Stone Egged Au asks: Bad Ichor

Amassing some Post-Jttw egg asks with similar vibes of "reject gods. stay monke".

Hehehe many questions - main ref post here. Btw in future try sending one sentence questions/comment as replies to the specfic posts. sometimes I find asks referencing a post and I can't remember which one they're talking about.

Wukong in the au makes a concious effort to inform his cubs and his people of what his mother sacrificed to bring him into the world. Her statue and the paintings on the walls of Waterfall Curtain a tapestry of a ruler more fair and far grander that any celestial in the monkeys minds.

And when their little chaotic Eclipse twins found the Consort's resting place, more of Wukong's parent's sacrifice was uncovered. Along with the King's delayed twin brother Luzhen. The little prince grows up being taught how him and the "larger him" share parents, but they aren't here in person anymore but they love him very much. Luzhen has met his and Wukong's parents during the holidays that allow it and gladly runs up to Yē Lín and Shíhuā calling them "Baba" and "Mama" let he's known them all his life. He misses them a lot. But older Brother/Mama and Bama/Baba are really good to him so he isn't sad for long.

Wukong never lets Heaven realise that Luzhen isn't his biological child, as he fears the Emperor or Queen Mother attempting to sieze custody of Luzhen out of spite. The few higher up that know agree that baby monkeys need to be with monkeys.

Pigsy is still uber confused when Luzhen refers to Wukong as "mama" and "gege" in the same sentence tho.

Mac and Wukong are still super petty tho. They call upon their ancestors during the cubs' naming ceremonies to give their little one's blessings. And along with Shíhuā, Yē Lín and Guanyin making an appearance, the royal couple are invoked to send divine blessings of protection down onto earth. They know who's calling them. They aren't happy about it but they won't hurt the little ones.

MK is still a huge JTTW fan, even more so since to him it's like learning about all this cool stuff his family did back in the Before times! And he was there for a lot it! (even if he wasn't born yet). Him and his childhood besties deduced early on that they have *some* kind of family in the Celestial realm, just not sure who.

As for the Dragons:

Going by Ao Guang still being upset by the theft (barely, in Jttw his wife let Wukong have it), of the Staff, I imagine that dragon can be super petty. Ao Guang doesn't like Sun Wukong at all for the theft and the havoc in heaven, even if he was cordial to him during the Journey.

When the youngest son of the Ao Run/Ji is fatally wounded by the Samadhi Fire, basically every royal dragon had an attack of pstd to when they lost Ao Bing. They started to hate Sun Wukong for his recklessness.

Then DBK, Wukong's older sworn brother and godfather to his young twins, suddenly goes on a rampage forcing Heaven's hands.

The royal dragons basically took DBK's imprisionment as an excuse to bail out. Dragons don't like the gods, and they don't like Sun Wukong.

Mei's parents hadn't wanted to cut ties with the monkeys, but Mei was a super sickly dragon pup and Ao Yi simply couldn't emotionally deal with cutting off her family with that happening... her and Long Chen continue to send Wukong's family birthday presents, card, and the occasional letter - all covert like a spy mission. Other dragons who disagreed with the royals continue this practice as well.

And ofc S4:

:)

Nezha: "Jade Emperor, there's a message for you from Sun Qi Xiaotian." Jade Emperor & Queen Mother: (*super intrigued! Did he find out about their connection?*) JE: "Send him in." Nezha, peaks head out of window: "Yeah he's in." MK: (*busts through wall like a Looney tunes character, shaking with anxiety*) MK, like he's on fast-forward: "Mister Jade Emperor sir I'm so sorry but Azure Lion's got this memory scroll and he trapped my family in it. He tricked me and my friends into freeing his old buddies from the Brotherhood but he wont let my mom loose and NOW he has my baby sister and little bro (it's complicated) and they're on their way here right now to kill you and my powers are glitching out and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!" JE: "Uhhh..." Queen Mother, rolls her eyes and turns to her entourage: "Prepare the safehouse. Contact all the bodhisattvas and the Kings of Hell, and tell our armies to be ready for a big game hunt. And get this child some peaches." MK: (*heavily breathing/mid-panic attack. gives thumbs up*) Mei, peaking her head in: "Wow. Girl bossing!" Nezha: "And Sun Wukong my lady?" Queen Mother: (*looks over MK like he's the most precious thing in the universe. like she doesn't want to let him leave*) Queen Mother: "For the sake of my daughter... find Sun Wukong's mate the Six Eared Macaque. He knows those Brotherhood brutes well. It's the least he can do for giving my grandson such distress with that disappearing act." Rumble & Savage, appear from the Queen Mother's shadow: "Do we gets peaches too?" "I like melon better." Queen Mother: "Who are these?" MK, calming down: "My older little siblings. They're twins. Azure didn't take them. Probably because he couldn't catch them." Rumble & Savage, proudly flexing: "We're too fast!" "And we got our bama's powers!" Queen Mother: (*notices little red tiger-stripe-like markings on the twins' bodies*) "OH!!!! He had twins! My love! More wàizēngsūnérnǚ! Twins too!!" JE: (*frozen stiff on his throne, completely shocked*) "Can the brown one repeat what he said about celestial beasts coming to kill me?" MK, blanking at QM's use of chinese: "Did the Queen just say-" Orchard Maidens, quickly shuffling the Noodle Gang out of the Throne Room: "SO! How about those peaches?" "You'll learn soon enough." "Sorry, but we're going into lockdown." "He's taller than didi!" "Must be mother's genes that did that."

Basically MK is calling in the big guns early cus he's panicking, abd accidentally uncovers the fact that he's somehow the great-grandchild (by reincarnation nonsense) of the two rulers of Heaven!?

All he wanted when all this Scroll nonsense happened was a day off!

[beachbreezeweddings01]

Beach Breeze Weddings

Beach Breeze Weddings

Getting married on the beach sounds dreamy, but there are some important factors to consider. For one, the sand can be difficult to maneuver in long gowns and full skirts.

Insect repellant is also a good idea, especially if you’re going to be on the beach for an extended period of time. You may want to include travel sized bottles of this and bottled water in your guests’ welcome bags.

1. The Venue

Imagine a warm beach wedding with turquoise waters lapping at your feet and an elegant bamboo canopy framing your vows. Say “I Do” as the sun goes down over the ocean, your closest friends and family looking on.

A destination wedding can be as luxurious or as casual as you wish, and it doesn’t have to break the bank. Many resorts offer all-inclusive wedding packages that make it easier to stick to your budget without skimping on a beautiful backdrop and romantic atmosphere.

Many resorts also provide all-inclusive honeymoon packages, making it easy to continue your dream vacation right after the big day. A tropical honeymoon also allows you to experience the same romantic vibes and relaxation of your wedding weekend, but in a completely different setting. This makes the perfect way to ease into married life with your new partner and get a jump-start on the next phase of your lives together.

2. The Food

As a rule, you can’t go wrong with fresh seafood for a beach wedding. But you can also serve more casual dishes such as grilled chicken, tacos, and salads. You can even incorporate fruit into your menu, such as papayas and pineapples.

Your choice of flowers is another important factor to consider for a Beach Breeze Weddings. For the bride, you can opt for a flower crown instead of a veil. You can also try a bohemian style and pair white phalaenopsis orchids with palm fronds or driftwood pieces for your centerpieces.

If you plan on holding your ceremony on the sand, make sure your guests know about it ahead of time so they can dress appropriately. You should also set up a shoe valet station and offer flip flops for guests who don’t want to ruin their heels on the sand.

You should also send your Save the Dates well in advance of your planned wedding date so your guests can book their flights and accommodations. If you need help getting to your destination, Beach Breeze Weddings is here to help!

3. The Entertainment

If you’re planning a full beach wedding (ceremony, cocktail hour and reception) make sure to check local ordinances. Also be aware that beaches are public and it’s a sure thing you will get a random Speedo-clad tourist photobombing your ceremony! Many beachfront resorts are equipped to rope off a section of the beach to avoid this.

For an added tropical touch, use palms instead of flowers or even jars for centrepieces and add a starfish to the table number. You can also use shells and coral instead of traditional flowers for a more beachy look.

Bama Breeze Band from Montgomery, AL is the perfect entertainment for your outdoor wedding. They are a Jimmy Buffet tribute band and play a mix of Rock, Country and Dance music. They can also do a Luau set for your special event! If you’re looking for a band to make your wedding memorable, contact the professionals at Music Garden today!

4. The Photography

Imagine the soft white sand of a tropical beach with turquoise waves lapping at your feet. A gentle breeze carries the scent of your favorite flower. You are surrounded by your friends and family as you stand before the love of your life to promise your lives, hearts and futures to each other.

Libby’s job is to take care of guests and she loves being able to make everyone’s wedding day special. She also enjoys meeting new people and bringing happiness to families.

Allan wears many hats in his business for small weddings, from officiant to event designer and source of comedic relief. He shares his background in theater and comedy to help keep weddings personal and connected.

Beach Breeze Weddings

Address : Sarasota

Phone : +19414005504

Website :https://beachbreezeweddings.com/

[wyvernscales]

Here’s my chapter by chapter analysis of The Masked Empire. Technically spoilers but also not at all.

Ch 1: I’d be floored by the gift of Moira’s sword to Teagan if it wasn’t, you know, completely in character for Gaspard to be a right bastard. I did enjoy the insight into the daily lives of people in the palace however. It gives Orlais more life.

Ch 2: Some tableaus of our protagonists: Celene’s morning tea with Briala, Gaspard planning treason, Michel walking into a setup

Ch 3: SWEET HOME ALA-FUCKING-BAMA??

Ch 4: Now add a heaping shitload of fantasy racism. 

Ch 5: So you’re just gonna bring up a character you mentioned in one scene fifty pages ago and expect me to remember what happened? Especially one that is going to be as important as this? I suppose the original intent was to suggest that the strife of the elves was occurring as the same time as lavish events in Val Royeaux, but I’m not sure I would’ve chosen to do it that way.

Ch 6: I... hoo boy. theres nothing funny to say here.

Ch 7: So all of Celene’s tact comes from Briala. Expected. The big question is how the hell she didn’t see that coming? I found the interaction between Briala and Gaspard to be very well written though. So much characterization packed in there.

Ch 8: *DAO random encounter sword sound*

Ch 9: For a book that very clearly shows that Celene doesn’t care about the elves without Briala’s influence, it sure goes out of its way to make it look like she believes she does

Ch 10: Two and a Half Elves -- Felassan doesn’t even need magic to absolutely char Michel with that burn ft. Queen Gaslight lives up to her name

Ch 11: Mom, Bioware is once again doing the thing they do with the Dalish where they imply Dalish suspicion is arrogance rather than survival mechanism and blame the violence that befalls them on their hostility even though they have every reason to be wary.

Ch 12: AHEM... Choice.. spirit. And whatever the fuck Felassan is

Ch 13: Sylvans are a Pain in the Ass Part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Ch 14: Well one thing’s for sure: He’s Michel de Chevin

Ch 15: Gaspard is awful, but he’s right about one thing and one thing only. Celene lives in a false reality where she can burn down a city and still have the trust of the Elves. Just because Briala has affection for her, does not mean that any other Elf can be swayed like that.

Ch 16: That Gaspard will go more out of his way than Celene to protect Briala is... oof.

Ch 17: UGH the FOreshadowing! The conclusion?! tHE threads all coming together?!!

Epilogue: solas you bitch

tl;dr: This book covers the beginning of the War of the Lions that the Inquisitor ends in Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts. Through Briala’s influence, Celene begins to take actions that benefit some elves which doesn’t endear her to the nobility. Gaspard uses this to his advantage to imply that she is treating the elves too kindly, and Celene burns down a slum in Halamshiral to prove him wrong. Expecting this move, Gaspard takes his first military move against Celene, destroying the army she led to burn down the city and causing her to flee. The remainder of the book is about Gaspard chasing her down through the Dales and later the Eluvian network in his bid for the crown. There’s much lore on Orlesian nobility/politics and the Dalish present throughout the novel.

Thoughts: I’ve actually been really looking forward to reading this one, and I must say that it’s my favorite of the novels so far. I didn’t particularly enjoy the style of writing in the first two books personally, and I felt the change worked really well with the plot and subject matter (They’re by two different authors, so I’d expect this). I enjoyed the prose much more, and it was a very nice look into the lives of Orlesians that the games haven’t been able to explore in depth. 

That being said, the way time flowed and perspective changed was a bit hard to follow. I found myself having to refer back to scenes because they jumped around so much. There were a lot of characters to keep track of, and even though they all came together in the end, the beginning was confusing.

Moving to the characters however, Celene doesn’t even thinks what she does is wrong, and for all her talk of ‘this was the only way,’ it was also the most obvious one. It caused all of the proceeding events and for what? To prove a point? That she doesn’t actually care about the elves? Infuriating. I actually found the relationship between Briala and Gaspard to be the most compelling in the whole book personally. He sees her as less than him for being elven, but also sees her as a clever and dangerous player of the game. It’s in stark contrast to how Celene believes she supports the elves at large while also thinking that Briala can’t figure out how Celene screws her over. I wish that had carried over into the game.

I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface of all my thoughts on this one because I have so much to say, but this shall suffice for now.

[jethro-pride98]

It’s all in the game

A/N: it’s not our man but it’s his frenemy ❤️🖤 @alkow @diaryofafan17

You lean back against the wall with a loud sigh. You’ve only got a few rounds left in your clip and it doesn’t seem like you’ve got a chance. The body gently thuds on the wall next to you.

“Hey.” Pride whispers to you.

“Hi.”

“So what’s the plan?”

“Try not to get shot?”

“Do you know where it is?” He asks giving you his most exasperated look.

“Of course I know where it is.” You shoot him a look of your own then motion toward another wall a few feet away. He nods and the two of you duck down and move to the wall then press your backs against it. “How much ammo do you have left?”

“Half a clip.”

“Cover me. I’ll go grab it then we can get the hell out of here. You in?” Pride sighs and looks down at you.

“This is by far the stupidest plan that you’ve ever come up with. Of course I’m in.” You laugh quietly then and he grins down at you. “Alright babe. If we die I’m going to kill ya.”

“Deal. Cover me.” You sprint to where the blue flag is tied as Pride lays down cover fire taking out Percy and Sebastian in the process. You throw him the flag and the two of you sprint to your side. Pride tosses you the flag as you go past him. “What?”

“I’m going to cover you!” He tells you, “Now go!” You do as he says and leave him behind. You hit the buzzer and cheer loudly when the alarm goes off. You’ve won! Pride is the first one to get to you. He lifts you off of your feet one arm around your waist placing a quick kiss on your temple.

You’ve beat the champ at his own game. Lasalle had been bragging about how good he was at capture the flag, paintball style all week. Apparently he wasn’t quite good enough, you, Pride and Gregorio beat his team. Granted it did take a sacrifice play from Pride but you did it. Chris sighs and hands over a gold spray painted squirt gun and you take it with a smile.

“Thank you.” You tell him cheekily.

“Shut up. You guys got lucky.” Lasalle grumbles and you laugh again.

“Luck or not Chris we still won.” King teases his arm over your shoulder.

“Rematch. Next month.” Lasalle challenges, you glance from Pride to the rest of the team then say with a smirk.

“You’re on bama boy.” “Laissez les bon temps rouler” Pride said after giving you a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Let the good times roll indeed babe” you say.

[tyiaunia-harris]

Aph Washington DC 🕶🇺🇲🇲🇫🇨🇳🐼🦅

Name: Diana Ofella Clementine Jones Age: 231 (physically 19 years old) Personality: perfectionist, hard worker, responsible and respectful. Diana is pretty much the glue that holds the family together. Is usually left in charge of the house while Alfred is away on business meetings, works alot in the white house and has the presidents number on speed dial in case some serious shit goes down. Diana is often in meetings regarding her statehood with her siblings Maryland and Virginia acting as her bodyguards. She is tough as nails and has been through a of pain over the year's that only help make her grow into a stronger person. Despite headaches she frequently gets working with both parties in the white house she wouldn't trade it for anything else because at the end of the day it's all worth it with she gets to go on father/daughter dates to a local coffee shop with her dad and brother and Sister. Qoutes: "Everyone, settled down please. Let's get to work, 'bama your up first." (Her introduction to staring the state meetings) "Thanks again for your help everyone. We'll getting closer towards the finish line. Don't give up!" (To her people and family for the fight to make her the 51st state) Facts: Has a pet red panda named Péngsōng, a wood thrust bird name Mokuzai. Knows English, Spanish, French, Chinese and many more. Always dressed in professional attire no matter the occasion. Has a scar on her back that reflects the day white house was burn, and although she has forgiven England and Canada. She still hunted by that painful reminder. During the capital riots though she was being comfort by her siblings, she kept screaming in pain and cursing in mixed languages until it was all over. "I will never forget that day, no one should." She vowed as she pointed her gun towards her shooting practice dummy blowing it to smithereens before breaking down. Aph Washington DC 🕶🇺🇲🇲🇫🇨🇳🐼🦅