#drawing this comic broke me several times

[wilsons-journey]

More Lore:

After his Friend Tiwa died, Valefor once more opened his heart. Again with a Sylvari, because he had the feeling he could trust them. Like he did with Tiwa. But this Sylvari was nothing more than a chess piece for someone else. His only purpose to break this stubborn Warrior,...

This night scarred him,... a faded scar on his chest. And a deep cut one on his soul.

But Valefor was always stubborn. To stubborn to die - To stubborn to let define him by this moment.

So he opened up once again. But if this happen to him ever again. If Kying would betray him.

This for sure would finally break him.

[captainmera]

Depression has hit me really hard, and a lot of things are happening at the same time.

I'm simultaneously burnt out and on the verge of a collapse, but like... I can't really do anything about it. I'm just sort of waiting for the stick to break so I can work thru it and move along.

I can't even focus on important things like replying to mails without my brain circumventing into something else.

Avpd and burnout is putting me in a constant brain fog these days. And severe maladaptive daydreaming.

I'm trying to be social and grounded, but I feel like everything around me is drowned in mist, and when I speak, it's through molasses.

I know I'm disappointing ppl by putting certain things on hold, like fanfics, my comic, or asks. But I just can't do it r/n. it will come in whatever speed it comes at.

And frankly I'm just too fried and tired to extend more than a sigh of empathy to your frustration with me. I understand you, I do. But I'm just some guy. I'm not getting paid. I'm broke and tired, and I can't be arsed to even be upset.

Atm, I'm doing this Caleb-focused comic mainly just to do something else than hyperventilate or maladaptive daydream. It's helping me have some control over what I disappear into, something physical, rather than sit on the floor and stare off into space.

I could do it for ibwr, I should be putting that energy there.

But there's some stressful things going on there with contracts and whatnot that's put a damper on things. Money is stressful. At least a stressful damper. So it's difficult to concentrate on it with that humming in the background, y'know?

Anyway.

Bear with me, please. I know people are impressed by my productivity and speed - but it's not so impressive once you know I'm just unwell and trying to cope. I also have a lot of time on my hands.

I'm fine, really, I am. /GEN I just can't do four projects at once. I can do two tops. And right now it's the caleb comic and IBWR. That's it.

I'm aware it's not super great to work so much when I'm burnt out.

But know that I'm choosing one pest lesser than another greater pest. So the constant "REST!!" Comments aren't, like, fantastic. I just feel ashamed for not being better than I am or being able to practice what I preach.

Lo and behold, being mentally unwell and not being wholesome healthy about it. Who would've known it is complicated to be unwell, actually? /LHJ /GEN /notSarcasm

I know I don't owe anybody anything. But I just kinda wanted to have a sigh and vague-post-gesture at what I'm standing in to the void of the Internet.

Because I do get comments and asks asking where an update is, or why I didn't draw their ask, or why I'm putting energy in X instead of Y, etc.

So I'm just......... I'm just gonna like....... ignore it. It's not personal.

I love and appreciate your love for my work, I really do. Thank you for all of your excitement and your feedback. Its been a delight. /GEN

But... I'm just gonna have to ignore what the majority of people crave from me and do what I want in the pace I need to do it.

okay? :(

Look. Just allow it fam.

Just allow it.

Using memes to try to communicate some essence of lightheartedness.

[bellybiologist]

Tallying up the Year

I hope you guys' december (which is almost over already, wtf) is going/has gone well! 2024 is upon us.

This christmas weekend, I mostly found myself thinking about how this year went, and honestly? despite all the things I haven't gotten to do, I still managed to accomplish quite a lot.

Me typing this rambly post out is less anything anyone needs to read, but more to remind myself of Things That Got Done™ than anything else because sometimes... I forget I do be getting shit done! And it's important we remind ourselves of the work we do.

The Things That got Done™

I advocated for my own Health. I scheduled (and went to!) so many doctor and dental appointments this year, holy shit. But, if the last few years have taught me anything, I simply have to put in the effort. I got my colon mostly sorted out, started a new regimen for my skin and hair (after chopping it off) so I'm feeling better, schedule an appointment with the optometrist in January, and even got lots of issues with my teeth fixed. Granted, our broken medical system made it incredibly stressful, and i spent thousands of dollars on the latter that I will be paying off til next july BUT!!!! This section is about the good things.

Started Streaming Again! I've been missing streaming since I stopped way back in I believe 2020. It was a fun way to interact with followers and supporters, so I'm glad I'm back to it on a regular schedule, with many of the old regulars still joining me while I work. Speaking of which:

I finished 43 total stream doodles. While I'm only filling a handful a month, it's definitely adding up! 40+ boys in the span of 5 months is nothing to scoff at, and that's not even considering that I'm doing this alongside normal patreon work.

I finished 39 total commissions this year. I'm definitely still going quite slowly, and I thank everyone who has been extraordinarily patient thus far, but I'm happy to say that my pace has been decent... at least relative to previous years. I got more done in the last 5 months than i did in the roughly year and a half period before 2023!

Replaced SEVERAL appliances that broke down. My computer moniter, my microwave, my refrigerator... all failed on my this year, and it took some work, but I finally managed to get them all replaced! So far, everything is working fine, but next on my agenda is to save up for a new desktop. This one I use for work has been at it since 2017, and it's about time to look into upgrading.

My Google Drive is Looking Nice. It's still not perfect, but I'm still immensely proud of how it's shaping up. There's still some curating of older pieces to do, but I've found a stride where I'm regularly updating it for people to peruse.

=====

Now despite these W's, I still got a long way to go. The things below could be considered resolutions for 2024, but that feels cursed to call them that. They are simply:

Things I Want to GET Done

Adding more YCH Figures. I was definitely expecting to have more to choose from by this point. And I really need to update some of the older ones too, because I think they've aged poorly. I got some neat suggestions and hopefully will find some time this week to showcase them in my discord to collect some feedback before releasing them.

Do more involved pieces/projects. I want to do more things like Comics, or simply pieces that I work on over the course of several sittings, ones where I can experiment and fiddle and practice!!! I rarely ever get to do that these days (I've only finished a few Big Personal Pieces this year), and I need to find time and energy to do them more because those are the things that truly make me feel like I grow as an artist. (and maybe I can find a shading style I actually fucking tolerate.). I also want to get more OC development and stuff done too, cuz I really didn't draw my children a whole lot this year!

Make more fucking Money!!!!! Let's not kid ourselves. I want to get to a point where I'm not just barely meeting the monthly quota. How to get there? I don't know, honestly. Things are so very stacked against artists right now, so it really does feel like the only thing that can be done is Not Give Up. Which I won't do. If/when I go down, I'm making it everyone else's problem. Trust. 😏

Save up to Visit the Boyfriend. I haven't seen him since January 2022! Big goal is to be comfortable enough to where I can fly my ass up there and smooch him. 👏🏽

======

I won't lie, i'm going into 2024 quite anxious and still scraping by by the skin of my teeth (that I'm still paying for). It's going to be a BIG year cuz oh boy, it's election year, there's plenty of family developments i gotta keep an eye on and work to be a part of... not to mention all the horrible stuff going on still (free palestine!).

Here's hoping shit goes our way this coming year! And let's get ,more strikes going so everyone is getting their fucking money!!! :V

[lilqarts]

WOW! Thank you for answering this question, I like how they came up with this story, but I wanted to ask what Error Ralsei looks like? (in your understanding)

oh yeah… I guess no info was revealed on him was there

Ohh boy

Error Ralsei was the first out of the 2 to be created, and it wasn’t by me, but by my friend (mentioned in the pinned post as well). He was mentioned several times throughout the blog. His first mention was from this post and his first canonical story appearance was in the last chapter of Ink Ralsei’s tale. His next story appearance was in this unfinished comic which would have ended like this

His original backstory differs than his present day one (much akin to ink, actually). In the original backstory, Error Ralsei came to be due to a corrupted SAVE FILE that sent him into an Anti Void. Much similar to Error Sans, he lost his mind in there and became an Error while watching what he considered a “vicious cycle of genocide, reset, repeat”. He erases universes because he considers it mercy from that repetition, mentioned earlier in the other ask.

this is just a lil drawing of Error’s first design

The concept around “erasing for mercy” still stayed the same, but his backstory differs. Present Error Ralsei originates from a timeline with an unfinished scripted story. In this world, Susie and Kris never came to him due to the fact that it wasn’t written to be. But he broke the rules. He rushed towards King in an attempt to do something rather than wait more and have nothing happen, but before he could even leave Castle Town, his world glitched into an Anti-Void. This was due to the fact that he went beyond the script, which caused an error in the system. The same flow as the original story goes, he loses his mind after seeing genocide timelines, and turns into an error with that as his last thought.

Error Ralsei functions nearly the same as Error Sans in terms of abilities. He uses strings to erase universes and to take control of/extract SOULS (although, he rarely does this). Different from his main counterpart is that instead of them coming from his “tears”, his scarf unravels into strings.

There was going to be a grand reveal that Error and Ink both originated from the same deserted timeline. Ink Ralsei turned out to be what remained of the original story, while Error Ralsei is the Ralsei from the transferred timeline (which, never got finished either anyway. But it didn’t end up being “scrapped” like Ink’s universe).

Error also went through a redesign or two. He was actually the first one to get a redesign, even prior to Ink, which is the current one that we see and know.

Then there was going to be a second redesign (forgot why), but there was also going to be a tweak in his backstory, where he would have tried to cast a spell during the universe’s self collapse, erasing his arms in the process. This design was neither scrapped or used, due to the fact that I dropped Ink Ralsei as a whole, with Error’s tweaks as well.

That’s all I think

[seek--rest]

Curious why you think Tomdaya going public contributed to fandom going down. Thanks for your thoughts.

Let me first give the total and complete disclaimer that this is just my own thots and opinions, based on observation and interaction with the spideychelle fandom for the past four years. If you love tomdaya and think I’m wrong, that’s fine! I’m not your mom. I literally cannot control what you think so, remember that before any of you come in and start sending me death threats.

That being said, heres why:

when I first joined this fandom, I was told by several others who were around much longer than I that some if not all of the OG writers (and readers!!) were hardcore tomdaya fans first, Peter and MJ fans second. Their love for Peter and MJ was not just inspired by the actors that play them, but was directly related. I thought this was an exaggeration because surely Peter Parker and MJ— some of the famous comic book characters— weren’t JUST beloved because of who played them.

Only to then later find out that a lot of those same OGs dipped when the actors (presumably) broke up. But w/e, still didn’t put a lot of stock into it.

Fast forward to the lead up of NWH. Fandom is at a FEVER PITCH. Almost everyone is a Spider-Man fan. THOUSANDS are in love with Peter and MJ. Immediately after it’s released there’s so much fic in tag it’s— for the first time in my four years— overwhelming to try and keep up.

HOWEVER

It is no secret that the ending to NWH was— to put it mildly— devastating for large swaths of spideychelle fans for reasons I harshly disagreed with then and STILL do now

Namely that it’s so depressing and sad because it’s fandom, who gives a fuck about canon if you hate it. Write something different. It’s not like all of fandom just agreed with the identity reveal. I didn’t then and still don’t now get why people didn’t just ignore the ending en masse.

AND— that it was “fan service” for all the wrong people/reasons or that it wasn’t the Peter and MJ they loved or that it was “disrespectful” to tear apart their “great love story” To me, again— this is silly. Peter Parker in the MCU is not and has never been this bumbling sweet innocent boy nor did Peter and MJ ever actually have a relationship on screen. I think people just genuinely read too much fanfic and forgot what kind of movies actually existed.

(I can say this because I’ve literally written hundreds of fanfics so I’m not just being a hater lmao)

You might be wondering: how does that tie-in with the actors dating irl???? Well. My theory is that people were right: most spideychelle fans, they were Tom and Zendaya (and/or Tomdaya) fans first, spideychelle second. They might enjoy the characters or like them, but push comes to shove, they’re not here for the characters in and of themselves: they want to see Tom and Zendaya.

(Which also speaks to the kind of tropes people want in fic and the type of material they want in canon, 80% of which doesn’t make sense for spider-man)

When canon was disappointing/not what they wanted, it was a lot easier to get over it / leave because the true object of their affection (the actors) was still there and PUBLIC. There wasn’t any need to write or want to read fics about Peter and MJ in ANY scenario because? They can just project, discuss and dissect the paparazzi photos, appearances, discourse of the real life actors. That was the main draw anyway so the spideychelle “ending” being disappointing in NWH, in this viewpoint, just helped cut out the middle man.

You might be saying “seek, that’s wildly speculative” and it is! But it’s based on years of observation…… and I’ve also deadass seen commentary and reblogs from people who basically said as much, preferring “spideychelle” stories that were no-powers or had very little to do with spider-man and that they were glad tomdaya is “real” now anyway lmao

It’s just a theory, and likely isn’t true for everyone. I have strong feelings about how people objectify and stalk the actors so maybe that influences how I see it all but! There it is!

[abeinginsand]

For the drawing requests: Lark and Sparrow being soft good brothers to each other? I’m thinking during the DADDIES years, bonus points for implied angst ((double if it’s Lark related bc I am a sucker for that))

Thanks so much for the request and I'm sorry for the delay, serikyl! Here's the angst comic featuring Lark and Sparrow! (Plot explanation and all dialogue at the bottom of the post)

Explanation and dialogue written out below:

Lark got charmed during a fight and beat up everyone until eventually the charm wore off. He worked with those who were remaining standing (Nicky) to finish off the enemy and help the others get back to HQ. Once at HQ, Lark still feels immense guilt about the charming and locks himself in one of the rooms in the HQ for several days. Sparrow persistently checks on him, and is eventually able to convince him to come home to rest. He does so by reminding his brother about how they used to fight each other harshly all the time when they were kids and they were okay afterward etc.

Panels 1-3: Stop, Stop, stop making me hurt (them)-- ("please no" and "don't" are also written there) Panel 4: Repeated "hah" is written around the panel to represent panicked breathing Panel 5: Sparrow: What was that sound? Open up please! Lark: Leave me be, brother! I'm--I am dangerous. Go home, already! Panel 6: Sparrow: As I said yesterday and the day before, home is where you are. So, if you are set on locking yourself away here, I'm not leaving either. Panel 7-8: Lark: What if--What if I hurt you again? Panel 9: Sparrow: I'll get back up and get you back like I did--when we used to battle. Panel 10: Lark and Sparrow together in flashback memory: Dual Mode! Panel 11: Lark: ...You did break my arm once Sparrow: Yes, so we are even now, brother! (Lark broke his arm during the fight while charmed) Panel 12: Went Home to Rest

[lizziempress]

Bulletproof Yourself from Feast or Famine

A career in Illustration is often portrayed as a risky journey rife with highs and lows. There is a path that will help you revel in feasts rather than endure a life of famine. Become a chameleon.

Chameleons get work. As an illustrator for entertainment advertising, I am required to switch styles on a dime (often multiple times in one day). This ability keeps me busy even when client needs vary widely. Being able to work efficiently in a variety of styles and mediums may come at the price of being an all-star in one particular method. But, your drawing muscles will be well developed, your mind will be sharp, you’ll discover new ways of problem-solving (which increases speed), and you’ll be working. Developing mastery of one style has its own merits, and you’ll always be stronger in one or two naturally. If you’ve targeted a particular industry, medium, or even company as your holy grail, then by all means go for broke. If your primary goal is to develop into the strongest, fastest, most employed illustrator you can, read on.

Collect Books & Stay Inspired

Great artists have come before us, and our contemporaries are generating impressive content at an incredible pace. Bring their work home with you. Stay abreast of what is out there both traditionally and currently. Keep a Pinterest collection of your favorite illustration work, and several folders of reference. Learn from observation. Why do you love this work? Is this digital color laid over pencil sketches? How many heads tall are the characters in this children’s book? What would you have done differently as the artist?

Every so often, stop by a second-hand bookstore to load up an arm full of illustrated material that you find inspirational. Maintain a personal library of cherished books. At any moment, you may walk the shelf and be re-engaged by a comic, concept art, or a picture book that you haven’t glanced at in a year. Flip through, and it will tell you old tells in a new way. Your mind will absorb a portion of the technique without picking up a pencil (or stylus).

Study Anatomy & Build an Écorché

If you are serious about working as an illustrator full-time, a solid understanding of the human form is a must. Human faces and anthropomorphic characters grace nearly every advertisement, film, and animated feature. Constructing an écorché model from clay over a wire base (or drawing the bones, muscles, then surface detail of the human form) will significantly improve your understanding of human anatomy. When you are assigned to draw several figures at various angles with little reference in a hurry, the task won’t be as staggering. You will better understand how muscle connects to the bone, where to plot boney protrusions, the angle of the wrist. If a leg is hidden in the reference but you must draw it for the assignment, you will have the mental power to invent the mystery leg.

Attend Figure Drawing Sessions

Photographs will only get you so far when it comes to learning how a real person moves, breaths, and exists in natural light. Nothing beats a live figure drawing session. Zoom figure drawing is valuable too. Whenever possible, attend drawing sessions that feature models of every gender, height, weight, ethnicity, and age that you can. Humans are diverse, and that is a beautiful thing. Immortalize all types of people on the page. You’ll be rewarded with artwork that is relatable, believable, and stronger. The more figure drawings you produce, the larger your mental library will become, and the more accurate and graceful your strokes will be.

Practice Drawing in Several Styles

Now that you’ve assembled a treasure trove of beloved style samples, and built your mental library of human (and maybe even animal) anatomy, it is time to experiment. Try everything from realism to extremely stylized animated characters. Flexible artists get work. One week you may be sketching black and white storyboard panels for a vehicle AD spot, the next you will be painting a vintage pin-up style character for a wine label, then the following week you’ll be asked to design a cute Twitter emoji of an animated sloth, and so on. Yes, there are artists who maintain one signature style that lands them tons of lucrative projects. But, when you are starting out and building your reputation as an illustrator who shows up and produces great work on time, you may not yet enjoy the luxuries of being a sought-out all-star yet. By having the ability to switch gears multiple times a week, even multiple times a day, you’ll not only work — you’ll discover what you really love to draw, and what styles you excel at. Think of it like a style buffet (with a paycheck)!

Now that I’ve mentioned money, never work for free. Let me repeat that, never work for free! Developing art muscles that can spring effortlessly from one style to the next, is a valuable skill. Your time, and the years you spent learning leading up to this gig, are precious. Get paid. Get paid fairly, and if you aren’t sure what to charge, ask another artist. Check out a guide book, forums, do your research. The health of our industry relies on it. Future you, will be oh so glad that you did! Now that you’re networking regarding rates…

Stay Connected

Other illustrators are your most valuable resource. Seek out mentors and friends within the industry for guidance and support. Your first gigs will likely come from a more experienced artist who has an overflow of work, or who knows of a project (or company) that you’d be a great fit for. Join groups and collectives such as Girls Drawin’ Girls, The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, or Freelancers Union. Take small boutique classes with industry professionals, in which you’ll get to actively speak with the teacher.

Most importantly, make actual friends. Some of your best memories will likely come from figure drawing with other artists, attending museums and shows, collaborating on projects, or even surviving intense deadlines together. Share your knowledge freely with others, and listen when your fellow illustrators have advice for you. Cutthroat competitiveness isn’t a good look, it isn’t pleasant, and it won’t get you far anyway. Skip it. Build a community. You chose drawing as a career path because it is fun. Enjoy being an illustrator!

[roodles03]

Forlornness: A seven part angst comic. Coming soon.

Welcome to the first sneak peek at the project that I've been teasing for a while. This is also the reason why I've been absent for a while, as I've been working on this comic for a few weeks now.

The entire comic is sketched and ready to be lined and colored. Hopefully I can stockpile the parts how I did with The Grim Truth, but if not, each part will come out whenever I have the lines and color done for it.

Very excited to show everyone what I've been pouring my heart and soul into for the past couple of weeks. This comic is very personal to me for reasons I'll get into when I get around to posting the comic. I got emotional several times working on it, and while drawing one panel, I legit broke down crying and had to take a break. So, in terms of angst, this is actually WORSE than The Grim Truth. Despite it only being half as long.

Comic's tag will be #Forlornness TOH

| Masterpost |

[knamil]

Rambling about my comic \o/ and my plans for NaNoWriMo

Small confession: I haven't been playing diablo iv like I said I would. I did play it for almost 2 months straight when it released. And it was fun. And I did think about my comic while I played it. And a solution DID present itself. Well, a clearer understanding of the problem presented itself and from there the solution was something I could figure out.

So that was groovy and then Bliz released the big D4 patch before the first season launched and made the game feel really bad to play. Like they fixed zero things that were broken and broke many things that were working. And the worst part was that they did not know this would be poorly received. That was a sign to me that I should stop playing (aka the game wasn't fun for me anymore) so I stopped and have been chipping away at figuring out the solution for my comic.

I realized while playing d4 that it's been more than a decade since I wrote Remi and most people who will see my comic don't know her. The AU was written at a time where my audience was basically 100% mutuals who knew Remi so I didn't need to show who she was and the differences in her character brought on by events in the AU would be obvious. Now though, since people don't know Remi, it's difficult to say what's different about her and a lot of the things I wrote just don't have the same impact.

So the solution is I had to write more and now the comic is much longer. Like 3 or 4 times longer. or more. I realized this a few months ago as I re-paneled everything and the darn thing just kept growing.

Another problem is when I drew the first 15 pages I wasn't happy with the results. I felt like I was rushing and I wanted to really do my best on every page. Looking back, I realized that the action in page 13 doesn't exactly read like it's supposed to. Actually, most of the action was pretty lazy XD. But after not making a lot of progress in the past couple months it's pretty clear that I can either draw with the skills I have now or I can like... not draw.

Only one of those choices is going to get anything done.

So. NaNo presents an opportunity. I've always failed NaNo like I fail every time-based challenge (haha repostober I had one job and I had already posted the art and I still failed), but I want to use it to make progress anyway. While there are several more parts to go after this I'm hoping to get part 1 done by the end of the month.

I don't know if I'll post pages as I finish or wait till I'm done with part 1 or what, but I've started working on it again and I'm looking forward to getting somewhere.

[xiv-wolfram]

Empathy - Comic Script

Prequel - Age 25

Roughly 15 years before the events of A Realm Reborn, Wolfram (the future Warrior of Light) and Raubahn Aldynn have been together for a couple weeks.

Catch up on my WoL Comics (Chronological List)

Part 1

Wolf and Rau walking around the footfalls of Western Thanalan talking. Narrator - "15 years before the events of ARR. Wolfram (cook and future Warrior of Light) and gladiator Raubahn Aldynn have been dating for a few weeks."

Wolf talking excitedly, gesturing as he walks - "-so you cover the onions to make sure they cook without browning. Otherwise the sauce will have a bitter taste." Rau smiling.

Fighting monsters. Wolf rushes one of those crab creatures and stabs it through the eye. 

Rau watching him, beaming. Thought - 'Wow, he really is skilled with a blade. Certainly could be a gladiator if he still wanted it…though I don't know if I could handle seeing him hurt.'

They're walking again. Wolf talking excitedly, gesturing with hands - "Area rugs can be utilized in an open concept to help define individual spaces. " Rau smiling, nods, thought - 'I see he learned a lot growing up decorating inn rooms.'

Fighting monsters. Rau jumps up and slices through a vulture with a downward slash. Wolf thought - 'It's amazing to see him fighting up close like this. I have the best seat in the Coliseum right here…heh.'

They continue walking. Wolf talking excitedly, beaming - “And those that didn't flee to Gyr Abania settled in Thanalan, founding Belah'dia, which eventually broke into Sil'dih and Ul'dah …I’m speaking a lot aren’t I? Usually someone stops me by now.” Rau grins, thought - 'He's adorable.'

Rau beams - "I love hearing you speak so passionately. And besides, you're voice is drawing enemies to us which has been quite enjoyable. I’m excited to finally see you fighting." Wolf smiles smugly - “I’m glad to be met with your approval. I haven’t fought in front of a professional before.”

Fighting monsters. Back to back power couple pose. 

Kissing in the water against a rock. 

Zoomed in shot. Smiling at each other.

Rau grins - "I must say…fighting together like this is doing something for me. I uh…" Wolf grins - "Oh, I'm aware… and the feeling is mutual."

Rau confused, steps back - "Alright now, that's several times that you have mentioned feeling or knowing what I want. What do you mean by that?"

Wolf embarrassed - "Oh…I'm sorry I've not had to explain it before. My family already knew…let me think."

Rau raises an eyebrow in confusion. Thought - 'Huh?!'

Wolf uncomfortable - "So, since I was very young I've been able to sense people's emotions. Not everyone and not always. My grandmother said I'm an empath. That the gift shows up in our family sometimes. …I'm sorry I'm sure this sounds very odd."

Rau surprised - "Oh! I've heard of similar gifts yet had never met anyone with them. So … do you know what I'm feeling right now?"

Wolf smiles - "I believe mild curiosity? And you're quite tired as well. It's difficult to read if the emotion isn't strong. It's also stronger the closer I am with someone. So I usually have an idea with you but I couldn't just walk up to someone on the street and sense them."

Rau awkward, light blush - "So then is that how you um… knew what I wanted in bed?"

Wolf smiles, blushing - "Aye…some of it. I knew you wanted me to take control because of it. Is that a problem? I could understand if it feels like an invasion of privacy. If you prefer I can stop doing it to you. I just… wanted to get things right and make you happy…"

Rau smiles comforting - "No, if this is a part of who you are then I shall love it along with the rest of you. Besides… I often struggle to express myself properly or ask for what I want. This could be a good thing."

Wolf beams - "I must admit I was a bit nervous to tell you. Thank you for accepting me as I am."

Rau holds him. Wolf's head on his chest, turned to the side. They're smiling.

 Rau smirks, looking down at him - "So…what am I feeling now?" Wolf grins - "I think it's about time you showed me your apartment."

Part 2

Rau’s apartment (build set. Small Ul'dah studio/open concept. Minimal.). Rau gestures around - “Well, as you can see it’s not much but -”

Wolf beaming - “It's nice! Cozy, clean, and most importantly feels very 'you'. I love it!”

Rau surprised - “Oh? I’d been a bit embarrassed to have you over. Given how upscale your inn room is…”

Wolf blushes - “Ah.. that…” Rau curious - “What?”

Wolf looking away uncomfortably - “Well, I must confess I picked a fancy room as I wanted you to be comfortable.The regular rooms were quite bare but would have suited me fine.”

Rau beams and caresses Wolf's cheek - “Ah, Wolf you didn't have to do that. Although the gesture is appreciated.”

Wolf beams - “It’s not a big deal. Besides, I’m getting a good rate now that I work there. And I’ll admit having a private bath has worked out nicely for us.”

Rau laughs - "Indeed it has! I suppose the other guests would object to our use of the public bath." Wolf, grins, looking off dreamily, thought - 'That does sound exciting though… Maybe I can convince him some night…'

Wolf refocuses, looking at the open kitchen - "The kitchen is also quite nice… I can tell you're hungry. I'd love to cook you dinner here after."

Rau smirks. Thought - 'He knows when I'm hungry, horny, or tired. This will take some getting used to but his gift is strangely relaxing to me.' Says - "That sounds like a fine idea. After what?" Wolf smug - "Well, after you give me a tour of that shower of course."

Rau grins and picks him up - "Ah, yes we do need to clean up after all that fighting." Wolf winks - "Yeah…that's why."

They kiss as Rau carries Wolf to the shower.

Catch up on my WoL Comics (Chronological List)

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

April 4th (Part 2) [Start of Arc]

Oh!

*They suddenly spot the truck coming along, and press something on their screen. All of a sudden, all the lights in front of the truck suddenly turn green.

Let’s go!

HUGH! OOPH! OGH! Dammit OOOOGG!!

*The person with the phone dives into the car, but unfortunately, doesn’t have the most graceful landing, as they faceplant into the other door.

PPPFFFFTT KAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Oh for crying out-

GAHAHAHHAHHA!

Yeah, yeah ALRIGHT! Get it all out! GET IT ALL OUT! “OOGH! Haha! Ollie fell on his face boo hoo!”

S-Sorry I...SORRY! That was...That was just really funny!

Way to stick the landing Oliver.

Shut up man.

Ahh...Ho, that was funny. *tut* A-Anyway, this is Oliver! Oliver Feng!

Bet you can’t guess what their skill is...even though it says so in the card above me...

If you guessed hacker, then congratulations! You suck! But you’re not far off either.

They’re a prized florist and gardener, but on top of that, they’re ALSO our hi-tech wizard and super-powered hacker extraordinaire!

Landing aside, what you got for us Oliver?

*Oliver scans over his phone.

Well, their satellite coverage is censored and can’t see us, stopped any additional police dispatches or reinforces coming along, broke their air coverage, and-

Oh shit! Hey, Maya, think we could maybe take a detour? Sharp left, right here, I just remembered I left Leona to get the thing.

Huh? What thing?

Got it.

What THIIII-!

*Four huddles her equipment to prevent any of the acid chemicals spilling when Maya suddenly pulls a sharp left. The getaway truck pulls up outside what looks like a pastry store, and a stump young girl suddenly bursts out of the store, carrying a small box.

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

Come on, let’s go!

*She jumps into the vehicle, and not wasting a moment, Maya slams down the accelerator.

And this little one here is Leona Vasquez!

She’s...uh...well...She draws comics and stuff and...She can make sort of believable forgeries? I guess?

Ok, I’m not sure WHAT she does for the group, but she’s fun to be around.

Hey! That’s mean Maya!

Whatever, did you get the package?

Yep! Paid for it and everything, but...didn’t have time to get the receipt.

Don’t tell me you-

*Leona unwraps the package and hands Four a birthday cake.

♩Happy Birthday To You~ Happy Birthday To You~ Happy Birthday Miss Grumpy~ Happy Birthday To You~♩

Well, what do you think?

I think you suck.

Oh come on, you need cakes for your birthday!

It’s NOT my birthday! Also, they’re gaining on us, so let me do this first, ok?

Maya! Look!

I see it!

*Up ahead, a large crowd of people block the roads, and Maya expertly swerves by them. The police cars chasing them however, screech to a halt and stop before they run the people over.

Whew! Nice driving!

Thanks! Sometimes I CAN be careful!

What’s with all these people?

Hm...Now that I think about it...Didn’t Hunter say he was gonna perform today?

Oh look! Here he comes!

*pant!* *pant!* WHOO!

*A largely built man with a goatee starts running towards the vehicle. Maya skids around as he jumps and hops into the open back of the truck, with several men and women chasing after him.

Phew! Fangirls, I tell ya’!

And THIS is Hunter Rosenhall!

He’s one of the world’s greatest dancers, and he always knows how to rally allies to our side when we most need it, even if they don’t know. He’s also super good at being the distraction. He’s also my best bud~

Put ‘er there!

*Hunter reaches his arm towards the window from the back of the car, and gives Maya a fist-bump.

Hunter, the next time you jump in the car, can you be a bit more careful? I think you seriously underestimate just how large you are.

Yeesh! What crawled up your ass?

You nearly knocked over my utensils! I’m trying to work here!

Aw, chill out pal. Today’s dance was in honor of you, you know? It IS your birthday~

It’s NOT my FUCKING birthday!

*Everyone starts to laugh.

Ugh...Anyway, where’s the last shmuck at? Hiding away in a hole somewhere like a coward?

Um...about that...

*Leona suddenly gestures forward once again. Approaching in the distance, she points out a manhole cover in the road that seems to be wobbling.

Did he really...?

He promised me it was gonna be great. Hold tight everyone!

*Hunter suddenly leans off the side of the car, holds out his hand as they approach the manhole, and then suddenly...!

*GASP!* BOOYAH!

*A figure jumps out of the sewers and grabs Hunters hand. Hunter pulls him onto the truck.

And rounding out our motley crew...is Kouji Ito!

Contrary to the way he appears and his seemingly low level of intelligence, he’s actually a pretty neat scientist AND our medical professional!

Speaking of which, Kouji, did you do the thing?

Oh gods, please don’t tell me you got me a birthday present or something?

I’m not wasting my cash on you! But yeah, I did it.

Then do the thing!

Alright! You got it!

*Kouji suddenly pulls a button from his pocket, looks back at the police cars giving chase, and then presses it.

...

Huh?

*Nothing happens, so he presses it over and over again.

Kouji, did you forget to place the bombs?

Bombs!?

Not real bombs! Not real bombs!

Yeah, just those stink bombs we were working on. I coulda sworn I put the right charges down in the sewer!

Um...Kouji?

Yeah?

Uh...is THIS the stink bomb you were talking about!?

!!??

!!??

!!??

!!??

OH SHIT-!

*PPPAAAAAARRPP!!*

*Too little, too late, the real stinkbomb goes off inside the truck.

GAAGH! My eyes are watering!

GAGH! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!

YOU DUMBAAAASS!

Sorry! SORRY!

*COUGH!* *SPLUTTER!* Hey, o-on the bright side, at least we know it works! Yeah, and look!

*Maya points behind them. The cloud of gas emitted by the stink bomb drifts from the gang’s vehicle to the police cars behind them, throwing them off course and causing them to crash.

Now only if WE didn’t have to experience that trauma.

Sorry man! And on your birthday too...

I am genuinely going to kill all of you.

Heehee!

And that’s our little group rounded up. I know, we’re all completely batshit crazy, you can say it. Wouldn’t be the first time we’ve heard that. We’ve never been the most popular group of characters. Not in the world, nor in the fandom.

And yeah, maybe I would like for us to one day be recognized as classics, and that people would look past all the bullshits and archetypes and see us for who we really are. But you know what else? If the world makes you a problem, who are you to argue back?

Hah! BINGO!

*Four finishes concocting the acid, then places it in an ejection tube. She places the device against the steel wall of the safe and pulls the trigger, burning a whole through the metal, and opening the safe.

Yes!

BOOM BABY!

*SKRRRT!*

*Maya makes a sharp turn and pulls around the corner, the world seeming to go in slow motion as they drift.

We...

Are the Freedom Foundation!

[mitaukano]

Give me 17 for Aleksandra. I'm curious :3c

17. Does your OC have an enemy? What happened between them? Is it mutual or one-sided? Is it petty or serious? Is one party seeking revenge? Does one person want the other dead or are they content to hate them from afar? 

Oh man, does she ever. I actually have a prose prequel to the comic that sets up how she ended up with the band. But she does, in fact have an enemy. Her greatest enemy and source of most of her troubles. The Baby Yaga.

I really need to stop and draw out that old prose entry. I'll put a bit of it under the cut in a little bit, and link to where it lives on DeviantArt.

But yes! Aleksandra is currently stuck in Ireland (and was stuck in London for a time) because of The Baba Yaga. For her part the Baba Yaga absolutely loathes Aleksandra and her weird funky blood abilities. As they have the unique property of being able to injure wyrm tainted creatures even someone as The Baba Yaga. Also shenanigans with the spirit world but that's next chapter.

Both want to kill the other, The Baba Yaga see's Aleksandra as a threat to her hold on Russia. Aleksandra wants revenge for her family.

I would really like to revisit this portion of Aleksandra's life one day but I honestly think that is would make things far too complex in the comic. Her Ireland story, is very much just that just her in Ireland realizing some stuff. But maybe a side project for funsies. Or I'll just put it on Ao3 like ND Stevenson did for She-ra.

Groaning and the pull of her own tortured muscles were the first sensations Aleksandra felt. Soon followed by the wetness of the mud settling around her sprawled form, the rain a gentle patter in rough contrast to the agony she felt down to her very marrow. One eye opened slowly, closing swiftly as she saw the feet of her tormentor were a bare hands space from her face. A dry rusty chuckle came from somewhere above her, as she felt her chin lifted from the muddy ground. Fingers as dry as paper caressed the side of her face murmuring quietly, in a voice that resounded with age. “Poor child, my poor little granddaughter. Always so alone must you always run from place to place?” The fingers were under her chin now tilting her throbbing head back, forcing a strangled sob of pain once again from her. Had she been sobbing? The rawness of her throat told her this was the case, and she could not stop herself as several more broke from her lips. “You can not help the taint that is on you child, but not to fear your Baba Yaga is here for you, she will make sure you are cleansed properly this time.” With that Aleksandra felt her head dropped unceremoniously to the ground. Mud splashed into her mouth as she opened it to cry out once more, she shut her eyes tightly fear completely covering her. She has been a fool to seek out the witch; she should have known it would sense her presence the moment she stepped onto European soil once again. Baba Yaga’s connection to the earth had only been dulled, never completely severed. But for the witch to break the Iron Curtain itself…to come to Ireland was unheard of in the history of Russia. There were powers as old as the witch that walked boldly in this land, and here Aleksandra had thought herself safe to plan her next move. Her thoughts were suddenly jarred, as she felt herself lifted once again, weakly struggling in the stick arms that began to drag her closer to…she opened her eyes again and saw the giant mortar and pestle sitting on the ground. Aleksandra croaked out a howl, and kicked at the half creature that held her. Her foot connected solidly, nothing but a brush of the wind to something as ancient and deadly the Baba Yaga. Again the young woman kicked hard pulling wells of strength from her last refuge.

Full story link. https://www.deviantart.com/mitaukano/art/Eternity-Dreams-Ch-1-58890422

[sandradoodles]

Part nine! It’s that good marichat time again.

First | Prev | Next

(Keep reading for notes)

The timeline is established, things are getting serious now! Here’s some in-between stuff I don’t have time to draw and assorted other ramblings:

After the finale, Adrien and Ladybug teamed up to try to chase down the Felix lead and somehow hit a dead end very quickly because I suck at writing antagonists and I respect Felix too much to involve him in my lovesquare nonsense. Just imagine that for the purposes of this comic they learned he’s like... hiding out in the Amazon rainforest or something. Gabriel will be around eventually though, because I do not respect him I am going to use him for plot purposes and because he’s part of Adrien’s story.

(Speaking of whom, I’m not going to be leaning in to the sentimonster Adrien theory. It hurts me and I have already allocated this story’s angst quota for other things.)

Ladybug is still dealing with the immense blow of losing all the miraculous, but Chat Noir has been her ROCK, her LIGHT, her SAFE PLACE, and her feelings for him just keep getting softer and softer (oh no this is dangerous. Ladybug used DEFLECT AND DENY! It’s not very effective...)

But she has been making an effort to be both more open with him and more sensitive towards his feelings. To that end, she gave him the cliff notes version of Chat Blanc and, based on what she remembers about the Ephemeral episode, shared her suspicions about identity shenanigans leading to disaster a second time.

Also this isn’t as important to the plot but I had them recover the dog Miraculous first because it’s hilarious to me to imagine Gabe being like “THIS MUST SECRETLY BE THE MOST POWERFUL MIRACULOUS” since Felix had it for like an hour and broke the world, only for Dogmoth to lose it immediately because compared to his nephew he is severely lacking in imagination and it turns out that ~imagination was the real superpower all along~

Final note because I am ~self-conscious~, I would like to reiterate that I wrote this story in one day after extremely limited interaction with the fandom (like less than a week of digging through a couple tags) and I am beginning to suspect that some of my “very clever ideas” are more likely well-established tropes at this point?? (That’s what happens when you get to a fandom five years late I guess.) I’ve already warned that this is an extremely self-indulgent comic so I’m just going to forge ahead with what I have planned and hope the journey is still fun for others too even if some of the themes aren’t wildly original fff.

If you read all this then you are a trooper, take a figurative gold star!

[apompkwrites]

Hi, hello 👉👈

I really love the streamer AU and would like to request Albedo, Xiao, Tartaglia and Kaeya's reaction to reader's possible death theories

Just like the theories we have about them, I wonder how would they react to their favorite character possibly having a "bad ending" in the game

Like how Mona said that Kaeya's fate would catch him soon, or about Xiao's karmic thing

Sorry for bothering and thank you ✨

reader impact || fan theories

series masterlist characters: albedo, childe, kaeya, xiao genre: angst? is that what you would call this?? i don't know. summary: with so much backstory and lore, there are bound to be fan theories on the different characters in genshin. what happens when our streamers read some... unfortunate endings regarding you? notes: i normally don't look at theories... ugh mihoyo why. anyway, i made the written portions before the bullet points act as a theory fic or something similar to that :)

albedo -

"i have the utmost faith in you, traveler," you mutter as the star on your neck seems to crack. your neck begins to split apart and light pink light glows from underneath it. the cracks travel throughout your body.

your hands are pitch black and your upper arms are pink with a soft gradient connecting the two colors. you shake and tremble in what remained of your dragonspine camp. several chemicals and glass shards are scattered across the dirt floor.

"please. as my... former assistant. stop me."

albedo almost closed the tab right there.

the only thing stopping him is his chat, who is just freaking out about the fan theory comic sent to him.

the notebook on his desk, which still had a camera pointed at it, was filled with frustrated scribbles and illegible drawings.

he almost broke his pencil.

he just wants to leave.

he's been streaming his reaction to plenty of fan theories about genshin's universe, such as paimon's origins and possible endings for the other characters.

he thought that you would have fun happy theories.

no.

not at all.

remember when i said he would pretend nothing bad is happening to you during his first meeting?

yeah, he held that denial until now.

now he's forced to confront the (very possible) idea that you will be a boss he'll have to fight later.

he absolutely loves the person who made the art.

he absolutely hates that this idea is the only thing he'll think about for... at least half a year.

childe -

"this... this is it for me, huh?" you heave, your body sprawled out on the bloodied grass and dirt. your weapon has long been abandoned, tossed to the side like trash. "you... fought valiantly as always, sweetheart. i'm... i'm proud of you."

it wasn't supposed to end like this. you were never supposed to die here, surrounded by the remnants of your enemies and comrades. you were supposed to go home.

to your family. introduce them to the otherworldly traveler you lovingly dubbed sweetheart.

"ah, i broke my promise, didn't i?" you hum, staring up at the sky through half-lidded eyes. "i told you i would introduce you to my family. my siblings would have loved you... i guess i'll be thrown on the ice for breaking it, won't i?"

he can and will ugly cry at this theory.

he doesn't even care he's caught on stream crying.

it just hits too close to home, especially as a big brother himself.

he'd call his siblings into his streaming room.

and once they come inside?

he'll hug them.

and hold them.

he'll promise to you that if that day ever did come in the game, he'd find a way to get to your siblings and meet them.

it doesn't matter if the game doesn't let him.

he'll either find it on his own in-game (which would probably grant him an achievement) or commission someone to make fanart/write a fic about this encounter.

and until then, he'll make sure to treasure you in his party.

kaeya -

"this soon, huh?" you chuckle dryly. your brows are furrowed as you stand alone. you knew this day would come. why wouldn't it?

fate was always cruel like that. coming to mondstadt for your people then growing close to the outsiders there. it was always cruel. it didn't matter if you were good or bad, fate always had a plan for you.

"what should i do?" you mutter, seemingly weighing your options in your hands. "take revenge for my people... abandon them for a new home... what would be the best choice?"

there wasn't one. and you knew that all too well. you knew you had to make a choice or else the universe would make it for you.

and if you left it up to chance... neither home you had grown with would survive.

can we go back to the simpler times, please?

all he wants is to go back to the beginning of the game when he was oh so naive.

he wanted to boot up the game again and just flirt with you until he passes on.

this theory... will actually be the death of him.

thinking you'll be forced to choose the future of mondstadt, or even teyvat, is an idea he wants to abandon entirely.

he wants to give you a glass of your favorite drink and get wasted until the sun comes up.

he takes this as a personal attack and will refuse to believe it.

but sometimes he does.

and when that happens, it's time for a drink.

just like you.

he'll join you in drinking your sorrows away for all eternity.

xiao -

"it's been years since i last heard the song of the dihua flute," you growl, clutching onto your cracking mask. the object is permanently stuck to your face. the only way to see your strained face was to look closely at the cracks, which allow a sliver of your skin to escape.

it's been a millennium or so since you started protecting liyue in secret. it's been a millennium or so since you started carrying the heavy burden of karmic debt on your shoulders.

"i have promised you that i would strike you down if you were ever taken by the darkness," you comment as your body involuntarily grabs your weapon. "i only wish for you to do the same for me. allow me... to peacefully... join their ranks."

he hates how probable this is.

and he hates how he actually believes this will happen.

he doesn't want to.

but there's too much evidence pointing to it.

all of your lore and the patterns the other yakshas followed...

he'll end the stream right there because he is not dealing with all of these emotions in front of a bunch of people.

he doesn't need that right now.

what will he do when he ends the stream?

probably contemplate everything he's known until this point.

and then look for fan content about you.

happy fan content.

he's the type of person to read fanfics about you.

be it reader insert or just general stories, he'll read it.

he just wants to think about you having happy endings :)

please, he's desperate for some fluff.

[turtle-steverogers]

i was thinking but do you know the unsent project? it is this website where you can write a message to your first love that you never sent to them. now imagine steve writing one (or multiple) to bucky after he came out of the ice after nat told him about it... yeah

hello hi anon this broke me and it was too perfect not to turn into a ficlet klafjldskjfalskf thank you

-

Unsent Letters

To:

Steve’s fingers freeze over the keyboard, the cursor blinking at him. It feels like it’s taunting him-- teasing him with the burden of choking out a name. What should he even say? The sender is anonymous, but how many people are named Bucky out there? Would anyone even care?

To: Bu

Steve huffs and backspaces, his hands trembling as he curls them into fists. He isn’t sure what provoked Natasha to tell him about this website. It’s a cruel tease to everything he wishes he could say-- wished he could say before Bucky slipped through his fingers. And now his only option is yelling into an abyss. The text box is black and daunting. He turns it yellow. No, too happy. Green. Yes, that’s fine. Bucky’s favorite color was always green.

His gaze wanders away from the screen of his hefty Dell laptop and out the window of his apartment. DC’s low rising buildings span out in front of him. His gut aches; he misses New York already. But he knows being there would only mangle his soul further, seeing his already alien home torn to shreds by literal space whales. He huffs, thinking of Bucky’s comics. His stories came to life after all. Bucky would have probably vibrated out of his skin if he knew there was other life out there.

To: My astronaut

How’s space treating you? It’s treating me pretty badly, if I’m being honest. If only you could see what it’s done to Brooklyn. I think you’d be pretty mad at it if you knew…

Steve hesitates, reading back over what he’s typed. It’s stupid as hell, and he cringes, but he doesn’t backspace. His fingers find the keys again.

I miss you something awful. I don’t think that even encompasses how much I’m hurting without you. I feel so lost right now-- space is much bigger and scarier than you’d think. I know you’d love it. I wish you could see bits of it, but god, I just want to go home. I want you to come home.

Steve freezes again and finds the screen blurry where tears have welled in his eyes. His jaw clenches as he pictures the way Bucky would laugh at him-- teasing him for his dramatics and ruffling his hair. He wishes he could be there now, rolling his eyes and nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“What’re you upsetting yourself for?” He’d say, gently closing the laptop and coaxing Steve into his arms. “I’m right here, pal.”

And if Steve closes his eyes, he can almost feel Bucky’s warmth enveloping him. But he’s not there. He’s dead, and Steve’s a goddamn ghost, drifting through a future that doesn’t know him.

He opens his eyes and stares at the text box, then clicks submit.

The screen loads, and his message is gone, his pain forever documented in the abyss.

-

For someone who fought aliens two weeks after waking up from his impromptu seventy year sleep, Steve’s life is pretty monotonous. He contemplates this unfortunate fact as he stands in front of his toaster, hair sticking up on the back of his head as he nurses a mug of coffee and waits for his toast to pop.

It’s 5:45 in the morning and he tries to remember a time when he didn’t rise this early. Before the war, perhaps. Though, he’s always been a bit of an early bird. His home life was sporadic to put it lightly and he’d learned from an early age that the sooner he was awake, the better it was for everyone. Vigilance is not a new concept for Steve.

He hasn’t always stayed up late, though. That’s certainly new, and he feels this fact viscerally as he catches sight of his reflection in the microwave. There are bags under his eyes that will be gone by mid-morning thanks to the serum. Dermatologists hate him, Natasha says. Steve thinks he’s pretty lucky that the serum more or less equipped him with a built-in anti-aging agent. His father had started balding by thirty.

His toast pops and he starts a little, blinking blearily at the slightly burnt bread as he pulls it out of the toaster with his thumb and forefinger. He spreads on the same raspberry jam and butter that he uses every morning and tries not to think of how bland it tastes in his mouth as he eats it standing at the counter. Another routine.

He tries not to look at last night’s dishes in the sink as he stacks his plate and silverware on top and doesn’t bother sorting out his hair before pulling on his sneakers and slipping out of his apartment. The sun hasn’t quite risen yet, only the beginning tendrils of light sneaking over the low tops of the DC buildings, and Steve vaguely regrets not grabbing a sweatshirt before he left. It’s not quite Summer yet and the mornings could still get pretty cool.

He’s about to take off down the street when he freezes. Natasha is sitting on the steps of his complex, wearing a pair of pink tinted sunglasses and tossing up and down the keys to her car. Steve blinks, rubs his eyes, then blinks again. Nope. She’s still there.

“Nat?”

Natasha looks up at him and smiles. “Hello.”

Steve shifts, uncomfortable. “Hi. You need something? Is there a mission?”

“No,” Natasha says lightly, standing. “You’re not running this morning, though. Come on, I’m taking you to Starbucks.”

“What?”

“Starbucks. You’re going to try it.”

“I don’t want--”

“Steve, you do the same thing every day. Step out of your comfort zone a little.”

Steve frowns, but Natasha’s right-- he really doesn’t ever stray from his routine.

“Fine,” he says, and twenty minutes later, they’re strolling into the nearest Starbucks.

He’s only been in one before, and that was to use the restroom while on a run. He’d bought a water bottle in an attempt to not be rude and use their facilities without giving them any business, but he hadn’t even considered the expansive menu. All the fancy names were too daunting.

They’re just as daunting now as he stares up at the board, heart hammering out of his chest as he’s faced with indecision. Natasha takes one look at his face, and reaches out to squeeze his arm.

“I’ll order something for you,” she says. “What kind of coffee do you like?”

Steve gives her a pained look. “Um… just coffee?”

Natasha quirks a smile and orders him something called a caramel macchiato. He’ll take it, he guesses.

The drink is too damn sweet and sugary and he almost gags. Still, he was always told to finish what he was given, so he drinks the whole thing.

-

To: Mr. Sweet Tooth

You’d fucking love it here. Everything is packed with sugar and sweetness-- enough to make even my teeth rot. I had something called a caramel macchiato today and it tasted like someone took your ma’s caramels and condensed them into a cup. I couldn’t stand it, but I know if you were here, you’d want at least twelve. I hope you’re enjoying all the sweets you can up in space.

Love, Mr. Boring

-

Steve’s fingers are stiff and frozen as he works at the straps of his stealth suit. The tangy taste of saltwater still sits heavy on his tongue, and he clenches his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering too harshly as he finally peels off his suit. It’s not much better, being naked, but at least the wet fabric isn’t clinging to him anymore.

The mission had been pretty straightforward until some alien tech managed to blast the quinjet to kingdom come, and they all free-fell straight into the freezing Atlantic.

Steve had managed to keep it together as they took down the goddamn mad scientist that fucked them over, but now that he’s home and alone, he can feel the adrenaline crashing.

He’s shaking from more than just the cold as he draws himself a warm bath, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to breathe through the panic that wants to engulf his entire being.

He loses time for a bit, and comes back to himself lying in his bed, burrowed under several thick layers. He feels so cold, down to his very soul-- a chill that he can never seem to truly shake, even when he’s warm.

Not for the first time, he wishes Bucky were there to hold him. He slips off to sleep thinking old, comforting thoughts of Bucky rubbing his hands between his own, coaxing his head under his chin to engulf him in that natural warmth of his. He always was a fucking furnace.

But when Steve wakes an hour later, shaking hard enough to move the bed with the force of the nightmare he’d dropped into, Bucky is not there to soothe away the ice.

-

To: JB

im so cold and i cant breathe ever and nothing feels right. I dont know what to do, u were always the problem solver between us and i cant think straight right now and i just want you here please. I cant do this anymore, im so tired please come back. I need you please

-

The Winter Soldier file sits in front of Steve-- a horrifying nightmare wrapped up in a neat brown folder. Residual nausea swirls around in his gut as he comes down from the horrible high of reading through the contents. His hands shake where they grasp the thick paper. His heart clenches hard in his chest.

Bucky is alive. Bucky is alive, and he’s been unmade.

Steve doesn’t know where he is-- if he’s escaped, or if Hydra found him again. It’s been three weeks now since the helicarriers, and he’s only just gotten the courage to sit down and wade through the shit that is Bucky’s reality.

He just hopes he’s safe. God, he hopes.

Sam says he’ll help him look, and Steve needs to know he’s at least out of danger, but he barely knows where to start.

And he’s sorry. He’s so fucking sorry.

Blinking out of his reverie, Steve looks at his laptop. He feels strange and detached as he reaches for it and logs in.

To: Bucky

And yes, that feels right. He should use his name, since he suspects no one has for a long, long time.

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurting so quietly for so long. I understand if you’re not ready to come home-- I understand if you never are. I just hope that you know that there will always be a place with me that is safe. I love you so much and I’m here, forever and always.

Love, Steve.

He’s not naive. He knows it would be dangerous to submit that particular message, so he doesn’t. But that’s okay. That one’s just for him-- for them.

-

“Steve? What is the… Unsent Project?”

Steve frowns and pokes his head out of the kitchen. Bucky is sitting on the couch in the living room, using his laptop, because his own is having storage issues.

Bucky looks at him. “It’s one of your saved tabs. What is it?”

And oh, fuck. Steve had forgotten to remove that from his homepage-- it really wasn’t needed anymore. He blushes all the way to his ears.

“Oh, it’s-- nothing. Not anything important--”

But Bucky has already clicked on the tab.

“The Unsent Project,” he reads aloud. “A collection of unsent text messages to… first… loves…”

He trails off as he processes what he’s looking at, and Steve can’t quite read his expression when he looks at him again. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s looking at Steve like he’s some sort of kicked puppy. Steve shifts, uncomfortable.

“Were you sending me… messages? While I was dead?”

Steve swallows. “Um…” and now that Bucky says it out loud, it really does sound quite sad. He shrugs. “It’s Natasha’s fault?”

Bucky shakes his head, clicking on the search bar. He starts to type his name, but Steve shakes his head.

“I didn’t use your name.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, then frowns at him again. “What did you use?”

Steve blushes harder, sitting next to Bucky and taking the laptop from him.

“Um…” he hesitates, then types what he was sure he used as his first alias.

My astronaut

The screen buffers and loads, then fifty or so messages pop up. Steve scrolls down-- it doesn’t take long to find his.

They’re both quiet as they read, and Steve cringes. Jeez, he really had been pretty dramatic. Next to him, Bucky makes a hurt noise.

“Oh, honey,” he murmurs, taking the laptop back from Steve. He reads the message again, then once more, and reaches out for Steve. “Aw, I’m here now.”

Steve huffs, embarrassed. “I know,” he says. “That was way back, like, three weeks after I woke up.”

Bucky stills. “You fought aliens three weeks after you woke up?”

“... More like two.”

Bucky hums. “Are there others?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching out to type on Bucky’s lap, because Bucky is holding him now and he’s quite reluctant to move. He thinks for a moment, then types in the next one he remembers.

Mr. Sweet Tooth

Bucky laughs, and Steve finds himself smiling.

“I find this funny,” Bucky says. “Because caramel macchiatos are definitely one of my favorites now.”

Steve laughs, too, and butts his head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“If only I could tell that to myself back then-- he’d be thrilled.”

“I’m sure,” Bucky says. “Any more?”

Steve hesitates, thinking of the one he’d sent after that nightmare-- when he was low and hurting. Incoherent. He isn’t sure he wants Bucky to see that particular side of his soul, but Bucky has been more than generous in letting him in on his pains nowaday, and it’s not like Bucky hasn’t witnessed Steve’s own current nightmares.

He bites his lip and types in JB. That seems to yield a lot more results, and it takes a while for Steve to find the message.

He hides his face in Bucky’s neck as he reads. Bucky’s arms gradually tighten around him, and a moment later, he feels him kiss the top of his head.

“Honey, I hate that you were hurting so bad,” Bucky mutters against his hair.

Steve shrugs. “We both were,” he says, and it’s true. There’s something to be said about the guilt they both feel for not being able to save the other person at their lowest, but life hasn’t been kind to them. The vitriol, Steve thinks, should be directed at the goddamn universe for keeping them apart, not themselves for fucking dying. They’re working on it.

Bucky’s quiet for a long time. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says. “Is that it?”

Steve shakes his head. “But I never sent the last one.”

“Why not?”

“I wrote it after DC.”

He feels Bucky squeeze him again, and he squeezes back.

“Oh.”

“I just-- I wanted you to know that you didn’t have to come home. That I just wanted you to be safe; needed to know you were safe, but it was up to you. I just needed you to know I was here, if you needed me.”

Bucky pulls back then and cups his face, kissing him soundly. Steve’s surprised for only a moment before he’s kissing back.

“I did know that,” Bucky says against his lips. “I needed time-- I was lost-- but the first thing I knew when I remembered who you were was that you were a safe person, because you’d never force me anywhere.”

Steve kisses him again, then pulls him into a hug. “I’m glad you knew that.” It’s warm, where their chests meet, and Bucky is solid beneath him. Real. He isn’t speaking into an abyss anymore.

-

There’s a sticky note on Bucky’s pillow next to his head when he wakes up the next morning. Steve’s side of the bed is already vacant, and he can’t hear him downstairs. He must have already left for a run.

Propping himself on an elbow, Bucky plucks up the sticky note.

To: My Bucky

Thank you for choosing me to be your home, and thank you forever, for being mine.

I love you with everything I have.

Love, your Steve

Bucky smiles, heart light as he folds the notes. He’ll keep that one with him, he thinks. A little bit of home to bring wherever he goes.

-

anyway yeah fslkjflaskjfls i-- ouch. anything to do with letters w these two hurts me immensely

[fermented-writers-block]

PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory

[NEXT PART]

[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)

(TLDR at bottom of post)

Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.

To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:

On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.

However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”

Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.

For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:

During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.

In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.

Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.

Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.

And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.

In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.

After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.

I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.

In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.

That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.

In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”

Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.

I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:

What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?

TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.