#drawing this was certainly different that what I usually draw but it was fun! :D

[personalized-chaos]

Finally finished drawing of Ballister as one of the Green Knight posters since they have such a nice colour pallet and quite a matching theme :D

Image description: 2D digital drawing of Ballister from the movie Nimona. He is shown from chest up, is a young man with dark hair and mustache and goatee. He also has a scar across his right eye. He is wearing a dark grey armor with many geometrical shapes and a cape over his shoulders, both the cape and armor are tinted blue in this image. He also has a golden crown on his head with an ornate circle going from the back of it, which is similar to a halo. The background is bright read and so it the text written over his chest which says 'Ballister Boldheart' in bold upper case letter. On each side of his head the phrase 'Face thy destiny' is written in yellow ornate letters. /End of image description

[electrozeistyking]

You can't automatically assume one tiny character in a "tiny AU" would be the same level of smallness as another character in a different "tiny AU."

Hi, there! For folks who don't know me, I'm the individual behind the "Tiny N AU," which is basically N from Murder Drones but make him tiny. Pretty self explanatory stuff. He's small now and we love him.

@megbanned is the individual behind the Mini Uzi AU. Same principle as Tiny N, but with Uzi instead and done drastically different. And most certainly a lot more often, I'd say.

We weren't aware of each other upon making our respective AUs, but from one individual with this kind of AU to another, I think it's fun! :D

That being said, I very recently got an ask on what would happen if Tiny N and Mini Uzi were to meet. And I was like, "Great! Yeah, this should be fun! I'll draw that at some point."

However, I'm also me. I wanted to do this other AU justice - so that meant I definitely looked through some things and did some "height comparisons." By which I mean I just looked at how tall Tiny N and Mini Uzi are compared to other characters.

Upon doing that, I realized something.

I have drawn Tiny N being held a bunch. Excluding the very first piece I did that technically started the AU, he's usually being held like this:

The second and third one are probably especially interesting, because you can get a very clear look at how small Tiny N is compared to V and Uzi. I try to make sure he stays roughly that size, though consistency is a pain.

But then I went to check how small Mini Uzi is.

The answer? MUCH SMALLER THAN TINY N.

I'm not going to put any of megbanned's drawings here because I don't want to do so without permission (and because you should totally just go check them out on your own time :3), but turns out Mini Uzi is much smaller than I realized.

Apparently it just? Never occurred to me she was that small until now?? Like, hello? One of the earliest pieces of this AU features her floating on a rubber duck in a mug of some kind! Mini Uzi fits in your palm, guys! You can shoot her out of a cardboard tube! You can't do that stuff with Tiny N!

Basically what I'm saying is we're pitting a rat against a hamster. Thanks for coming to my TEDTalk. Go follow megbanned.

[ebi-noodle-doodles]

Do you have any advice/tutorials on how to make healthily round characters? You do them so well!

Hi I really want to answer this with like my doodles and stuff but I’m out (might reblog the stuff later) but so want to say just use a LOT of references. I got used to not using references most of the time because Ive build a somewhat small mental library in my head but certainly its not absolute or perfect, but If I want to focus on a certain piece I really look for references! OR use the mirror.

My main advice

Build a mental library full or references; Even if the reference you compiled are not the same body type/shape, you soon learn to incorporate them in actually drawing round characters.

You can try building this mental library not just by searching online but ACTUALLY STUDYING ONESELF, by that I mean your body. Try taking videos of yourself and pause on frames that could potentially make a good dynamic reference!

Build a habit of drawing different character bodies. I cant say I’m an expert nor really follow this rule since I lack understanding, really but one of my discovered inspirations before I drew characters like these is the Dungeon Meshi Artist. They draw different shaped characters so well, take inspiration from them!

Pay attention to distribution of fat and muscle. (again I’m not an expert!!!) Pay attention to HEIGHT and WEIGHT of the character. What I usually do is that sometimes I estimate how much torso is going to on or legs so it looks proportionate

I learned that chibi is similar to what Im doing. I guess I learned chibi with round shapes aka bunch of circles and ovals, but irl those are more of chunky sausages(?)

BE CONFIDENT on your SKETCHES. I usually start small in sketching like big canvas/paper small lil “chibi” characters. Practice a pose u like then choose what you want to focus and render on

I feel like I’m saying this more for myself hut fundamentals! fundamentals, fundamentals fun d a ment a l s ! In anatomy, lighting & generally in art is key component to everything really!

Welp might reblog this with some visuals hopefully when I get home! I do think I still need more practice despite all the drawings I made, I feel like it still lacks dynamism that would be appealing at first glance.

if it contributes to anything, I think my coloring also makes the piece “look” soft.

[autism-purgatory]

Writer questionnaire!

thanks for the tag @the-golden-comet!

About Me

When did you first start writing?

Around 10. I wanted to tell stories and was like “Well, I suck at drawing and I certainly can’t animate, so I guess I’ll write!”

Are the genres/themes you enjoy reading different from the ones you write?

If there’s a genre I like to read, but don’t write, I WILL eventually write in that genre.

Is there an author (or just a fellow writer!) you want to emulate, or one to whom you’re often compared?

Most of my inspirations don’t write, so I don’t go out of my way to emulate them. My main inspirations are Yoko Taro, Hidetaka Miyazaki, Red from OSP, Hello Future Me, and Fumito Ueda.

Can you tell me a little about your writing space(s)? (Room, coffee shop, desk, etc.)

Usually my bedroom, listening to the same weirdly specific song over and over again, or in the case of my forced vacation, A nice bedroom with a cozy armchair and decent lighting.

What’s your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Watching or reading the core inspirations of stories. Like if I need inspiration or motivation to write Augmented_Humanity, I’ll watch Kill Bill or Blade Runner 2049.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

I wouldn’t say it did. A boring ass town in Texas doesn’t give much influence, I’m afraid.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Absolutely! a lot of themes of rejection by society and finding solace in those like you is pretty common. A lot of my characters aren’t considered the most well-liked by society because of things out of their control.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favorite character? (Current WIP, past WIP, never used, etc.)

Cole! Full name being Cole Hill since he took his wife’s last name. From Viscered, which is getting another chapter very soon!

Which of your characters do you think you’d be friends with in real life?

I’d say Ren! He’s nice and would probably get along with anyone :D

Which of your characters would you dislike the most if you met them?

Hot take…Cambrius. He’s fun to write and it throws me into existential crises but I wouldn’t last a day with that bitch.

Tell me about the process of coming up with of one, all, or any of your characters.

i dunno. I just think of a few inspirations and a cool amalgamation of a character comes from it, I usually then build the plot around them and the genre.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

As mentioned in a previous question, characters who are persecuted for things outside of their control (something I have plenty of experience with as someone who’s both pan and autistic)

What’s your reason for writing?

I want to tell stories and writing is the one I felt most comfortable with :). Writing is limitless, that’s why I really like it!

Is there a specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Any sort of compliment or feedback, as long as you aren’t a dick about it :D

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work? (For example: as a literary genius, or as a writer who “gets” the human condition; as a talented worldbuilder, as a role model, etc.)

Eh, I don’t really care about that. You could think I’m a nice little writer or a hateful cunt, as long as people like my stories :)

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

World building and dialogue, also making characters that are surprisingly likable (even for characters I was never expecting people to like)

What have you been frequently told your greatest writing strength is by others?

Same as above. I’m really good at making people sad and writing relatable characters in situations plagued by The Horrors.

How do you feel about your own writing? (Answer in whatever way you interpret this question.)

I’m content with it, and I’m happy to make improvements when necessary, but people seem to like it as it is rn.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Yeah. I just like doing it, even when nobody reads it.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? If it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

I learned to stop doing certain tropes or writing certain stories for the sake of pleasing people. I can’t please everyone so I might as well make a story I enjoy writing.

tagging @deanwax @fortunatetragedy + open tag!

[broodwolf221]

dadw prompt! #12 from the 50 kisses prompt list: Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss. + fenders :D

thank you jazz! this was so fun /u\

@dadrunkwriting

690 words

As always, the day ended at the Hanged Man. Fenris wasn’t quite sure when the tradition had started, or when it’d shifted from a simple let’s get something to drink to an actual tradition, even amongst the non-drinkers in their group, but it was nice to have something to look forward to. He drank, of course, but never too heavily - he did not want to lose himself in a crowd like this, after all, but the ale was cheap here, affordable even when he had lost the last several hands of Wicked Grace.

Varric was winning tonight. Typical, really, although usually he could hold his own and sometimes Isabela took the pot. Anders rarely won and over time the bets drifted lower, the game becoming friendly rather than competitive. Sometimes the mage couldn’t spare the coin and didn’t play at all, but none of them begrudged him that - he had the clinic to attend to, after all. Surely there were costs associated with that.

He rather suspected that Varric spent a considerable amount of his winnings supporting the clinic, but he never could confirm as much. Nor, he thought, could Anders, which was likely the point. An anonymous donation to the clinic or new supplies suddenly showing up felt different than being handed coin by a friend, and the former was far more difficult to turn down.

Over time, a new tradition had risen from this one, although it was not a group activity. Fenris stretched and excused himself, clapping Hawke on the shoulder as he passed and waving off Varric’s idle protestations. The dwarf just wanted him to lose again. Merrill waved goodbye to him before Isabela claimed her attention by leaning heavily into her and he hid a grin by turning away from them. He may not approve of the blood mage, but he couldn’t help but be a little touched by her insistent generosity, her gentle nature seemingly at odds with her manner of fighting. A contradiction he had once found suspicious and had eventually grown to accept, for all of them had their contradictions. This new tradition was one of them.

He took a deep breath as he left the pub - the city didn’t always smell the cleanest, but it was certainly fresher than the cramped, humid air inside the Hanged Man. He slowly worked his way back towards the mansion he’d come to occupy, although halfway there he ducked instead into a narrow alleyway and waited. It did not take particularly long. “Were they suspicious?” He asked as the other man slotted into the alley beside him, their arms brushing as they stood side by side.

“I doubt it. Played my last hand and it was miserable.” Anders laughed quietly and Fenris smiled to himself, turning to face the mage - then shifting so that he was bracketing him against the wall, his laughter fading into a soft gasp. Fenris glanced from his eyes to his lips, watching Anders’ tongue dart out to wet them before he pushed forward.

They kissed hard, with a fierce demand, hands seeking out points of contact to draw them closer together. Fenris bit Anders’ lip to feel the shudder of his moan between their mouths.

An argument had brought them close together, a tension building that Fenris hadn’t been able to identify until Anders drew near him before turning away sharply. Realizing what he had been letting slip away, he’d grabbed the mage and kissed him. That one experience had led into this happening several times a week, and Fenris idly wondered when he’d stop having them meet outside the mansion.

For now, this was enough. He pulled back to see Anders’ eyes dark and wide, searching his for a time before a small, wry smile crept across his lips. “Next time, then?” Fenris nodded before kissing him a final time, then stepping back.

“The alley closer to the docks,” Fenris said. “You leave first next time.” He watched as Anders nodded, pulling away from the wall and straightening his robes.

“I’ll be there,” he said, grinning before making his way clear of the alley and back to his clinic.

[justablah56]

Hiiii:3

I am becoming obsessed withyour wittle buny guy!!!!! I must know more about him here is a list of questions about the sweet baby

1. On a scale of 1-10 how much trauma dose he have?

2. Pronouns? I know at least he is there but any all silly gender stuff goin on?

3. What are his opinions on mac and cheese? He looks like the type of guy to like mac and cheese

4. Do his parents love him? Are they alive?

5. Dose he draw/write/play music/do plays/etc?

6. Can i take him home with me and keep him in my pocket

7. How old is he

8. Is he from a human-bunny world of is he the only bunny person in a human world (is it like a spongebob where everyone is an animal or like a paddington bear where everyone else is a normal human)

9. whats going on mentally with him? He got adhd? Autism? Dyslexia? Hallucinations? Ptsd? Anything else?

10. Dose he live in a cute little house (like a mushroom/tree stump/rock/etc) or in a more human like home?

11. Can you preform a dark arts spell to make him real so i can hug him?

ehhehehe glad you like my silly little bunny <33 and ahh ty for all these questions

id say probably like eaahhhh 7(ish)/10 on the trauma scale , he can usually just kinda ignore it but y'know , >:] not forever

just he/him I think , might end up changing that at some point , but for now it's just that . I am considering him being trans tho , in which direction I know not , but that bnuy is not cis <3

oh yes absolutely a Mac n cheese guy , would probably live off it if he could

an interesting question my friend , and the answer is no on both accounts :D

I think he definitely plays an instrument and loves specifically doing live music for theatre performances . I don't think he can really act all that well but he loooves being on stage and just thinks acting is the coolest thing ever even if he's not particularly interested in acting himself .

yes . in fact I think he would be overjoyed if you took him home and he got a whole pocket to himself

don't really have like . a specific age for him , but probably late teens - early 20s , he is just a little guy who doesn't know wtf he's doing <3

I'm thinking he lives in a furry world where everyone is just a bipedal animal bcs I think it's fun to draw furries and experiment with different animals lmao

oh definitely PTSD . also probably adhd , I think he might have tourettes or at least something that causes him to tic .

kinda the in-between land that is like . hobbit holes . he lives in a cute little burrow that then has like . nice furnishings on the inside but is just a nicely decorated mound of dirt with a door on the outside lmao

I can certainly try , I'm sure he would appreciate a hug tbh

[sanchoyo]

2, 8, 13, and 24 :3c

2. 5 favourites of your own work?

umm picking absolute favs is very hard but heres some I like a Lot. def click for bigger size on these ^^; also, the 4th one is a comm for a friend, whos sister is a PROFESSIONAL MERMAID, LIKE AS A LIVING?? and it was a gift for her sister (THE MERMAID.) very very cool story behind that one. :)

(and the original posts these were from: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) )

8. What do you like most about your own work?

...I feel like the thing I get complimented on most is the colors, but tbh? i like how ..flexible? I am sometimes. like I feel pretty good saying I can switch up my style pretty drastically when I feel like it, which is a nice thing to be able to do. (I owe it to yrs of trying to imitate very specific anime styles LMAO)

13. Show your favourite drawing from last year

...this is gonna sound SO conceited but I had a hard time picking bc I liked a lot of drawings from last year (which is funny considering I dont think I did that many compared to other years...)

i kind of want to say one from my ekleipsis illustration series just bc they are SO different from my regular cutesty style, it was FUN doing smth so out of my comfort zone!

like, whos style is this? certainly not my Usual, does not feel like a ME drawing but thats kinda why I liked it a lot...felt like I was proving a point to myself 😭 all of them in that series are kinda like this bc the story had borderline horror fantasy elements lol

24. How do you deal with artblock?

it Depends. the thing abt art block is that it happens for different reasons (at least in my case) and its easier to fix when i know WHY its happening. dont feel like working on a comm? thats a self-discipline issue, gotta prioritize it, its a job I am being paid for, so Gotta do those. (even if usually fun, art block has been known to happen w them before lol) not liking a drawing and getting frustrated so I dont wanna keep working on it? skill issue or lacking technical knowledge probably, time to dig for refs or do studies. bored of looking at the current drawing? well now the issue is I Need to figure out how to make it more interesting, or go work on smth else for a while. and honestly a lot of the time it personally helps me a lot to just...step away from art for a bit. maybe a few weeks or even months before...during that time I focus on other art forms (like, I'll not draw but write or craft or smth) OR just try to find new artists, and sit and analyze THEIR work. what do I like abt their styles? what makes it work? i find it helps me appreciate my own art more when I love other ppls, esp when I see speedpaints or smth and can appreciate their processes too ^_^ and having fresh eyes after a while of not drawing is...nice? refreshing...weirdly enough lol.

tysm for asking!! this was rly fun to answer :D

[moonlightsylph]

Ooh! Trick or Treat please :D

Why hello! I am not sure what you are dressed as, but you certainly looking rather nice this night. I hope you haven't been getting into too much trouble, though I can't fault you from a little mischief tonight.

Here, take this full-size caramilk bar and take a seat. I have a story for you, if you don't mind listening for a spell.

You can barely see through the fog.

It was annoying, seeing that you were the one doing the filming in the group. With the way the weather has been behaving, you were tempted to just call it, but lo and behold here you were with the crew getting ready for the traditional yearly 'ghost hunt' in another abandoned structure.

This was wasn't all that different from the usual targets, just way bigger. Hard to get bigger than a old amusement park with a massive rollercoaster honestly.

According to the forums, this place was shutdown some time in the 50's due to some unsolved disappearances of staff and the odd teenager that snuck in after hours. Nothing could be proven, even the owner of the place was dragged into court only to be let go when there wasn't strong enough evidence of him being behind it. So the cases went colder than a polar bear's rump, leaving so many questions for people like you to feel the itch to answer.

So you and your friends booked the time off, packed up the van and headed out to see for yourselves if you can find a ghost of a concession stand clerk looking for the punch-out clock. It sounds silly on paper, but it was something your group of friends have done together since high school, one of the few things left that can draw you all together for a single goal at the years gone by.

A tradition.

Flipping on the camera, you weaving through your friends and put on your best documentary voice as you introduce your friends to the invisible audience of zero, immortalizing their laughter and funny faces before getting down to work. Your job was to circle the grounds, film as much as you can, so you all can go over the footage later to find weird shadows and blobby shapes. Easy and honestly, the most fun since you get to wedge your body into places that normally would get you kicked out of a park for. Living all those misspent youthful dreams of being a menace to society.

So you start with the grounds, circling the boarded up stands and commenting on places you think could be brute forced open on another trip tomorrow, before making your way to the large barn-light buildings where exhibits and showing would have taken place by the local farming scene. Another large building that would hold all the club tables, crafts on sale, raffles. Just thinking of how many people once stood in the yawning emptiness makes something clench in your chest. So many years gone, yet their laughter still lingers like a mournful ghost.

So you move away from the weird sad feeling and look at the abandoned rides, trying to chase that high from earlier to lift the mood.

Sweeping over the width of the ride grounds, you linger on the huge shape that dominates at the center of the rollercoaster, hidden by the thick fog enough to obscure what it might even be. You couldn't help making a dramatic commentary on the rides, extending your 'o's for spooky effect, before filming the Merry-go-round.

You quickly move on from there after being creeped out by the horses with the chipped paint and blood-red rust around their faces making it look like they ate someone. You skip over investigating the hall of mirrors when you see the very distressing faded clown face over the entrance, commenting that you were not looking to get eaten today by bargain-bin IT.

One by one you film the other rides and note their creepy deterioration before finally going to the biggest draw of the place.

The Roller-coaster.

Even this close, you can't see what the big shape in the center is, which only fuels you more into doing reckless things. You judge how high the tracks are, wondering if it was climbable, before deciding you didn't want to become a new headline for the town. So you settle for looking at one of the track cars to get some footage and find yourself seated in the from row to making a shot of how it must have looked being on the ride before launch.

You hear a creaking sound.

Was the track that rusted that it wouldn't hold your weight without protest?

You hear it again, this time with the sound of something snapping like static. Like a light switch sitting in the middle between on and off.

Suddenly you see the lights in the control room turn on. You squint at the dirty window, wondering if one of your friends is trying to pull a prank on you. You can't see a shape thought the dirt, only the fact the light was turned on.

You call out, telling them to cut it out before they make you leave this car to do it for them.

The headlights on the track car spark to life. Then the rest of the lights flicker in a line one by one along the whole snake of cars. You are still filming this, now feeling more weirded out that your friend isn't coming outside to laugh at your unease.

Then the bar slams down on your lap, locking you into place. You scream, trying to pry it open with no success, yelling that this isn't funny. You start to curse and beg your friend to let you go, to get you out.

Then you see them. Your whole group of friends, on the other side of the fence, no where near the control booth and looking white as sheets as they stare towards you.

No.

They are staring above you in silent horror.

You turn you head, eyes starting to water as the realization hits.

There are eyes looking back at you from the shape in the fog.

There is a clawed hand gripping the back of the train, sending a grinding scream through the air from the force as it pushes the train into motion.

You are in for a ride.

You are a new story on the forum.

[roseprincessarts]

Equality and Jealousy

Hey y'all.

I wasn't originally going to talk about this, but I do like to state some facts that I believe in and hope y'all understand. ^^;

I like to talk about the differences about beginners and advanced artists, popularity, jealousy and accusations.

I did not write this because I like getting involved of harassments, I am AGAINST harassments, but this journal talks about why I believe advanced artists are really nice and not being as nasty, or acting spoiled rotten as they create the artworks and stuff we love and to enjoy, and talks about popularity and jealousy.

So here we go, shall we?

People on the internet, such as DeviantArt, Tumblr, Amino, etc., all came across artists' artworks (and literature). And let's just say, I have seen a lot of people loving it. I came across a lot of people who are advanced artists who wrote fanfics and drew some amazing arts and fanarts I came across.

But some people can get jealous over artists' works and being popular, and they usually bash over it, which I found was jealousy and can lead to a bad behavior. But not all people are like that. Some people can be admired and inspired within advanced artists' works, let's say… all advanced artists are nice people ^^ I even treated them nice, and they treated me nice ^^, especially they do treat beginners nice, like me! ^^ you know what it can be called? Equality! Artists like us can agree to that ^^

Equality is a good way of appreciating artists, who are beginners and advanced!

Let's go down and I'll explain what I think is believable ^^ Let's talk about equality.

Equality

Popularity can be awesome sometimes for advanced artists', but the whole truth is… nobody is popular at anything else. They are sometimes, but popularity is not everything. Nobody is better than anyone, and not better than beginners. None of the advanced artists are ever, like, spoiled rotten, behaving like a spoiled childish person, and they certainly are not queen bees, gaining attention to themselves instead of others. None of the artists are not caring for others, they do care! Sometimes they might be too busy and not know what's going on (if I'm correct). And most of all, advanced artists' are NOT bullies to any artists, especially beginners, and mostly not hogging attention, being show offs, faking nice to people, using people, cyber bullies, full of themselves, all of that. They most certainly also do not send people to attack others. None of them are true about advanced artists! Everybody is equal! :D Advanced artists sometimes do art for sharing their work, not to obtain fame in a nasty way. They don't do it in a nasty way. They do it for fun and to share ^^

Beginners and advanced artists' are equal! Though, I was judged on Tumblr as one of the anonymous harassed me saying "Your drawing is meh. Get improved please." It was harassing. Still, I believe beginners and advanced artists' are equal in any way :)

And most certainly, none of the advanced artists do hate beginners. They do NOT hate beginners! They most certainly don't hate the people who are special needs and make fun of their disabilities.

I have Autism, and I am a beginner, and that's when I went to art class in high school. I'm mostly trying to be an advanced artists. But, I am probably not even obtaining fame in the future. Though, my dream is becoming a filmmaker, but I believe fame isn't everything ^^. I'm equal to beginners and advanced artists ^^ Those artists who are good at artworks are even really nice to me :). We are equal :D

Though, sometimes my artworks and fanfics (a few ^^;, but not a whole lot lol) can get a lot of views, favs and comments sometimes, while my other stuff don't get alot, but it's okay! Popularity isn't everything.

Let's view my works for an example!

https://www.deviantart.com/supershadowsilver/art/The-Johnny-Depp-Appreciation-Sketch-918582691

https://www.deviantart.com/supershadowsilver/art/A-Tim-Burton-Tribute-Art-927136124

https://www.deviantart.com/supershadowsilver/art/Shane-Acker-s-9-13th-Anniversary-Art-928927532

These can get many views, favs and comments, but I am not being a show off or being a spoiled rotten queen bee. I am never nasty or got a big head, and I am not, and not all artists thinks they are rulers on the site (can be any besides DA). Though, equality is everything! All artists can share their work for everyone to enjoy! I've seen many most viewed arts, fics, and I seen them who hadn't had much. But hey, like I said, equality! :D

Now let's get down to jealousy next

Jealousy

Feeling jealous can be normal sometimes. It's perfectly normal to be jealous of something, but you want to be careful what you post, because there is something to do with bashing, and why bashing people's work is not good.

I'm often jealous years ago, but I learned my lessons quite a bit. I've seen a lot of people's fanfics, arts, all that, and they got a lot of views. Some of my works don't get as much views, comments, likes or anything. It's okay though! Maybe it'll get viewed one day ^^ I'm not jealous at all! :)

Let's look at my Wattpad for an example:)

https://www.wattpad.com/user/SuperShadowSilver

I don't get alot of views on the site, along with Fanfiction.net, Quotev, and Archive of our Own ^^;

I wasn't even jealous of other people's works. From what I have seen that a person that is jealous of the artists' works and fics, but here's the thing.

When other people, especially beginners, get jealous, it can lead into a bad behavior and harassing an artist and think they are popular and being a queen bee, and also gaining attention to themselves instead of caring for other people and beginners. Like I said, none of the artists are like that. But jealousy can lead to the harassment towards advanced artists, and that probably lead them to making false accusations and bashing.

Bashing over artists' work on any site on the internet in a harassing way is NOT an answer to get the jealousy out. When you bash over people's work on and on, it can make advanced artists' look bad. Also, making memes and collage as a 'joke' as imaged if any fictional characters looked into artists' works and being shocked of what they have seen, as if one character considered artists' works 'forbidden'. Making memes and collages like that to keep bashing into advanced artists' work is harmful and harassing, and it's NOT a joke. Jokes like that when bashing people's work and considered 'forbidden' are not funny and not all as it is to the users who keeps going on about advanced artists' works. It's just disgusting and completely harassing.

Also, about making false accusations, when get jealous and bashing their work, it can also lead into making a false rumors, such as being a queen bee, acting childish, or cyber bullying people, when advanced artists are not, and that they're innocent. People can also make rumors about advanced artists' hating on beginners, hating people with disabilities, which the rumors aren't true, without showing proof. They are no proofs advanced artists I know that are bullies and show offs, neither are other artists I know. People got away with the rumors being believed in.

People also wished advanced artists off any sites for good when they didn't do anything harassing. People do that due to their jealousy of something else as well. They also make false accusations of advanced artists making traced art, which I don't believe happened. That false accusations like that shouldn't never gotten away of and should've never happened.

People get jealous, harass and making false rumors because of their own behavior and their 'beliefs'. Though, I found it pretty disgusting when they do that to advanced artists when they are innocent and not bullying anyone. People on many sites often make threats to go off and kick their ass if they mistreat them or bully anyone.

Harassment and violent threat if they see people bully anyone is NOT an answer. That can lead into blocking and/or reporting them.

Also, making memes of a character suffering, comparing to themselves being 'bullied' by advanced artists, known for their fics and works, and their friends, which they never bullied anybody, can make innocent artists look bad. It's harassing and breaks my heart to an artists I know known for their most viewed works and looked up to had putted through.

Making memes, journals, status about it, and even making posts outside of DA, to make innocent advanced artists and their friends look bad into making false accusations of bullying and making beginners suffer is not right. Making false accusations about an advanced artists to make beginners look innocent is not right. Without proof is not believable. False accusations are not fun, even making them outside the site.

I often don't get much views, favorites or comments on some of my works, but hey it's okay! I'm not even jealous. But, I don't go bashing over people's work and make posts about it to make them look as bad. I always try to be careful of what I post to make advanced artists feel loved and kindness. I'm a beginner myself, and some of the artists I know who draws very good are really nice people I've known. I think my friend's works, especially advanced works are awesome! And I will never be jealous ;3

Conclusion

Now that's all out of the way, now we all know beginners and advanced artists' are equal, and will always be equal. Hopefully I'll get viewed on many sites I've mentioned one day ^^

And that's it. Hope you understand everything I addressed here.

~SuperShadowSilver, your lovely rose petal🌹

[memryse]

Last Life Propaganda: a guide for people with absolutely no idea what they're getting into

Have you ever wondered what on earth is wrong with your Last Life mutuals? Seen Last Life SMP trending #1 and become greatly concerned about why your dash is on fire every Tuesday? Considered checking it out, but don't know anyone involved or where to start or how or even what Last Life is?

Basically, this is a propaganda/FAQ post for people who've never seen a minute of Hermitcraft/Empires/adjacent content in their lives, and have no idea how to get into Last Life. Because God knows I wish I'd had a post like this answering all my questions when I was getting into this series completely blind.

Now is the best time to get into Last Life if you want to experience any of it live, because unfortunately it's looking like the series will be drawing to a close within the next couple of weeks. Luckily, it won't take you very long to catch up!

1. What even is Last Life?

Last Life is a hardcore Minecraft miniseries on YouTube, featuring a bunch of Hermitcraft and Empires SMP members and a few extra friends. Each member starts off with a random amount of lives between 2 and 6. On your final life (your red life), you're not only allowed but encouraged to kill other players. Each week also has "boogeymen" chosen at random from the non-red players, who have to sneakily get a kill Among Us-style. Even if it sounds complicated, I promise you it's not hard to follow in the videos, and there's a handy little tutorial in the first episode explaining it all anyway. The server also has proximity chat (no Discord calls allowed) and a small world border to make sure everyone is stuck near each other.

Last Life is the sequel to 3rd Life, which was a very similar concept but every player started off with exactly three lives and there were no boogeymen.

Basically, if you like death game media, you'll love it. You'll probably also love it if you're not usually a fan of death game media. It's just really good. I love Last Life.

2. Do I need to have seen 3rd Life to watch Last Life?

No, not technically! I would certainly recommend it though, because 3rd Life is an absolute masterpiece of a series. Also, because it's a miniseries, you can watch it in a relatively short amount of time - I would personally recommend Grian's, which will take you just under four hours altogether. Best enjoyed if you binge it all in one sitting, but it's fun and will leave you feeling somewhat empty inside regardless! :D

But, again, it's not required. You just won't understand the 3rd Life references in Last Life.

3. How/where do I watch Last Life?

All Last Life content is available on YouTube. There is no livestream content to catch up on - all videos are recorded in "sessions". Basically, every Friday, everyone logs on for a 3 hour period and records the full thing. That's the only time that they play on the server, and it makes sure that everyone is online the whole time. Lots of interactions to be had!

4. Which POV should I watch?

There are no "bad" POVs for Last Life - everyone is heavily involved in one server event or another every session. It's a really action-packed series. You can theoretically pick any member and go. That being said, here are some of my top recommendations:

Mumbo Jumbo is probably the best for newcomers: he's new to Last Life, having not been in 3rd Life, his episodes are a reasonable length and great fun to watch, and he's been pretty heavily involved in the main conflicts on the server.

GoodTimesWithScar has absolutely fantastic storytelling skills and is easily one of the most entertaining POVs to watch (if not the most). However, he wasn't in the most recent session due to some health problems, so you'd have to pick a different POV for this session.

If you're only looking for a short POV for a trial run, I'd say to check out LDShadowLady or Smallishbeans. Both of them like to keep their episodes short but full of action. Personally, long episodes are the way to go, because the beauty of Last Life is in all its dialogue, but these two are great if you're not quite sure about committing to the series just yet (or if you just prefer shorter videos! that's also cool!)

5. I don't know any of the members, what do I do?

Genuinely, it does not matter! Whether you've been following Hermitcraft for the last decade or this is the first you're even hearing that name, Last Life is equally enjoyable. I can vouch for this; I got into 3rd Life having only seen a couple of Scott's streams and nothing else. I've also gotten multiple (10+) of my friends who aren't familiar with any of the CCs to watch it, and every single one has been blown away by how much they enjoyed it. So, trust me, it's worth checking out :)

6. Does Last Life have lore?

Last Life has a pretty interesting approach to its storytelling: with it being in a 3 hour session format, it is completely improvised. People will have vague ideas of what they want to do each session at best; no events are planned in advance, nothing is scripted. If you need a DSMP comparison, it's pretty much like very early S1 - Disc War or very early L'Manburg era, where they're roleplaying to some extent but not playing fully fleshed out characters (other than a couple of members who are just really dramatic and roleplay constantly anyway). It does require reading into things a little to make them as dramatic as we do, but it's all great fun!

TL;DR: Watch Last Life, it's really good, it'll fill the void in your heart and then tear an even deeper one moments later :D

[jasontoddiefor]

A gift for @thenegoteator :D

It took a Temple to raise a child, and Mace Windu was very much aware of this. However, it did not explain what Ahsoka Tano was doing at his door in the middle of the night. Ahsoka had deep bags under her eyes, which wasn’t too much of a surprise considering the current living arrangements of her lineage. While little Luke and Leia were relatively well-behaved newborns, they were still only a few weeks old. If their human caretakers didn’t wake up at every single little whimper, then the togruta with the superior hearing certainly would.

“Do you want to come inside?” Mace asked, not letting his confusion show. He was used to people coming to his door at the oddest hours.

“If—if I can?” Ahsoka replied as if only now becoming aware of her actions. In this, she reminded Mace of her Grandmaster and the many nights Mace had found Obi-Wan coming to his doorstep during the first months of Anakin’s stay at the Temple.

“My door is always open, Padawan,” Mace said – and watched her wince.

Ah.

So there was the problem.

“Caleb is currently sleeping in my bed as Depa is away,” Mace explained. “So please keep your voice down. I don’t want to wake him unnecessarily.”

The boy had already had a hellish enough month behind him, he needed all the rest he could get. Even though the war was officially over, enough planets refused to surrender, drawing out the battles until they had nothing but children left to sacrifice. It weighed on Mace’s shoulders, making him wonder whether he wasn’t too old to carry such burdens still.

Ahsoka nodded and followed Mace inside. He couldn’t recall whether Ahsoka had been in his room before, but from the way she eagerly looked around his quarters, taking in the sight of old instruments, books, and holos, he guessed she hadn’t. Well, at one point in their life, every Jedi had set a foot inside Mace’s quarters, so this was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Do you want a cup of tea?”

Ahsoka tore herself away from the sight and looked at him with surprise. “I—yes? That would be nice.”

“Then I will make a cup. Do you have any preferences? I believe I even have Obi-Wan’s favorite blend here.”

Mace had no idea whether he had bought it or if Obi-Wan had just left it here from himself when he came over. Knowing the other man, it was likely that the latter was the case. For a man claiming to be so very polite, Obi-Wan could be a right brat.

Mace’s kitchen was small, with only a few cabinets and one shelf, two cooking tiles, and an oven. He wasn’t much of a cook himself and preferred to eat in the cafeteria with everyone, frequently taste-tasting what the Initiates had prepared. He selected two uneven cups Depa had made for him when she’d been young from the shelf. Why she had decided to pick up pottery of all hobbies was beside him, but he supposed that she found the motion soothing. Devan did enjoy parkouring through the lower levels and Echuu was quite content playing the guitar to calm himself.

Perhaps Mace should focus less on why all three of his Padawans had decided they wouldn’t follow him into theatre so they could continue to make fun of him. Setting the water to boil, Mace searched through his cabinets until he found Obi-Wan’s favorite blend. The fruity tea was far from the blend he preferred, but Mace prided himself on being a good host. While he waited for the tea to finish steeping, Mace enjoyed the quiet of the night. For all that there were few sounds as dear to him as that of people walking, or in the case of some younglings and few selected Knights, running, down their large hallways, Mace could appreciate the quiet when the world came to rest.

With two finished cups in hand, he returned to the living room, where he found Ahsoka curled up on the sofa, no longer studying his quarters for any hidden secrets.

“Thank you,” she said when she accepted the cup from him. She held it in her hands as if to warm them, letting the steam hit her face. She breathed in once, twice, finding her rhythm again. Mace waited until she’d calmed enough to speak up.

“What brings you to my door, Padawan Tano?”

Ahsoka flinched and appeared to make herself even smaller as if attempting to vanish. When it became apparent that it didn’t work, that silence hadn’t been what she had sought him out for, she let out a sigh. “You keep calling that.”

“Calling you what?” Mace asked, his brow raised, playing oblivious.

“… Padawan.”

“Are you not? I was under the impression that you had returned to the Temple.”

“I did, but I still left,” Ahsoka replied. “I left and I was convinced that I had to leave and that it was good that I did. I still think I had to leave the Temple behind.”

“Then why are you torn?”

Ahsoka’s hold on her cup tightened and so, perhaps in wise anticipation, she set it on the table and buried her hands in her robes instead, hiding their twitching from view. Mace could trace all her mannerisms to her teachers and couldn’t imagine what it must be like to purposefully rip all those pieces from yourself when they had become so ingrained in your very being. Even Dooku, who’d fallen so far from their beliefs, had been unable to fully rid himself of Yoda’s lessons. Maybe it was for the best. Hope had become a scarce commodity during the war, yet Mace considered the possibility that in a decade, they wouldn’t be imprisoning a Sith anymore.

“But am I still a Padawan? A member of this Order?” Ahsoka asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she shook like the leaves on the trees in the courtyard.

“Has your Master told you anything different?”

Ahsoka paused. “…. No.”

Seeing that realization was settling within her, Mace nodded. “Then you should not doubt him. You are a Jedi, Ahsoka Tano, and you will remain one as long as you live by our tenets.”

That teased a startled laugh from her. “Compassion for all except people who cheat at push-n-pull?”

As if transported back ten years, hearing Anakin say the same, Mace snorted. “The similarities between you and your Master astonish me every time. Yes, Padawan Tano, compassion for all.”

This seemed to calm the youth as she reached for her cup again and emptied it slowly. “It’s good.”

Mace smiled into his own cup. “I’d be insulted if it wasn’t. Obi-Wan forced me to memorize all the steps for making it.”

The then young Knight had been frazzled, and Mace honestly couldn’t tell what it had been about and had forced Mace to learn how to make this tea until he’d more or less collapsed on Mace’s sofa, completely knocked out until morning when Anakin had picked him up.

“He does do that,” Ahsoka agreed. “I think this is the only thing anyone can make reliably now.”

“Sleep-deprived much?” Mace inquired.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Like you wouldn’t believe. I love Luke and Leia dearly, but they are demanding and need a lot of attention.”

That was honestly kinder than Mace would have described newborns at her age.

“There is a reason why we usually don’t have children this young in the Temple,” Mace said. “They are very handful. Do you get enlisted to help very often?”

Ahsoka shook her head. “No, Obi-Wan, Skyguy, and Padmé got it covered, and I’m mostly just helping out somewhere else.”

She trailed off a little. This, perhaps, was another issue, but one that could be equally easily dealt with.

“Thank you then for going where you are needed,” Mace told her.

Ahsoka blinked. “Huh?”

“You will grow into a specific role someday, Ahsoka, and that needs time. Do not feel as if you need to earn back your place in the Temple. You don’t need to earn yourself a home you have always had. For now, trust me when I say that everyone you’ve helped is glad that you were there. It is an admirable quality to have a sense of where you are needed. Do not see it as being the odd one out.”

This was the hardest lesson to teach and learn, the fact that there was a path out there for you, but that it took time to see where it would lead. Too many of their Padawans now felt utterly lost without the structure the war had provided them with.

“Oh. I guess if you say so.”

“Yes, I do say so,” Mace agreed. Then, eyeing Ahsoka’s empty cup, he added on, “do you want another?”

“No.” Ahsoka yawned. “I think I might best head back.”

“You can also sleep here if you want, and don’t mind Caleb hogging the blanket. I won’t go to bed tonight anyway.”

Ahsoka squinted at him as if attempting to discern whether he was lying. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really—”

“Ahsoka, go to bed.”

Clearly feeling better already, she saluted and, after Mace showed her his bedroom, made herself comfortable in it. She took off her shoes and tossed her robe over a chair before climbing into the bed. Ahsoka had barely laid down when Caleb already turned around to curl around her, clinging like a little monkey. After a moment’s apprehension, she relaxed and was fast asleep. Stealing one last glance at the two Padawan, Mace returned to his living room, looking through the incoming reports.

Hectic as the aftermath of the war was, as much effort as caring for their children was, Mace wouldn’t trade it for a single thing in the world.

[moonlit-reveriee]

NSFW Alphabet

ft. technoblade

concept: a collection of my own personal nsfw headcanons for techno, one for each letter of the alphabet

@saturnsstufff ‘s discord saw it first ;)

A = Aftercare 

I like the idea that techno actually gets very clingy after sex. He’ll get up and grab a glass of water or a towel if either of you need it, but if he’s able to, he’ll stay glued to your side the whole time. Even if he won’t admit it, he needs to have that intimacy after sex. He loves the feeling of your body pressed against his as you both cool down. Usually, his hands will be absentmindedly drawing patterns over your skin

B = Body part 

Kind of an oddly specific one, but he loves your shoulders. He loves to casually rest his chin on them as he holds you from behind, and bury his face in the crook of your neck as he presses heated kisses on your pulse point. He also considers the way a person carries their shoulders to be an indication of their strength, and how could he see anything but strength in you.

He hadn’t put much thought into his own body before meeting you. He’s learned to love parts of himself because of you. Particularly his scars. They way you gently run your fingers across the rough surface of them, in both intimate and casual settings, made him crave the touch. Now when he looks at them, he thinks of your hands moving across his skin

C = Cum 

Fun fact: pigs have 30 minute orgasms

Early on in your sexual relationship, he was very embarrassed by just how much of it there always was. But once you started praising him for it, that became a very different story. He started to take pride in how well he could completely fill you up without even trying

D = Dirty Secret 

He would probably never admit it to you, but it’s become a habit of his to think about the last time he had sex with you during battles. He starts to make sure you two always have sex the night before a big fight, so his mind can wander back to it during the haze of battle. He’s not sure if it’s a coping mechanism or what but it certainly helps

E = Experience 

You are his first ever sexual partner, but somehow he just.... already knows what he’s doing?? He’s very nervous and considerate the first time, but he does everything perfectly. Once you tell him that, he’s very happy and secretly a bit proud of himself

F = Favourite Position 

He loooves to have you in his lap. Either facing him, back to chest, it doesn’t matter. He’ll do everything with you in his lap. Cockwarming, fingering, thigh riding, anything you and him are physically able to do in that position

G = Goofy 

He’s usually a bit more on the serious side. Sometimes the two of you will quip at each other during foreplay, but once he gets going, it’s all business. In the moment, he likes to treat is as something special (doesn’t mean he won’t tease you about things after the fact)

H = Hair 

He likes to keep himself clean-shaven most of the time. When he’s relaxed and doesn’t have to go to any public events for a long period of time, he’ll let a small amount of stubble grow on his chin. You can always tell when he slacks off on it, cause the stubble on his face brushes roughly against your skin as he kisses down your body...

he doesn’t really shave much below the neck, but he keeps it clean and trims occasionally

I = Intimacy 

He’s surprisingly romantic when he wants to be. It’s definitely a side of him only you’re allowed to see. Alone together in his bed, he’ll whisper sweet nothings to you as he slowly draws you to your climax. Even when he’s speaking the most lewd and naughty things to you, he somehow makes them sound affectionate and full of love

J = Jack Off 

He loves to watch you masturbate. The first time was a complete accident. He came home late one night to find you curled up with his blankets, breathing heavily as you massaged yourself over your underwear. It wasn’t long before you noticed him in the doorway and jumped, worthlessly attempting to hide what you were doing. He wasn’t sure if it was the blush on your face or the fact that the blanket you chose to cover yourself in was his cape but something urged him to sit on the edge of the bed, still in his armor, and ask you to continue. It was beautiful to simply sit there and watch

K = Kink 

He’s a little bit possessive. He loves to mark you in subtle ways so you always remember that you’re his. Especially if you’re going on a trip without him. He’ll drape you in gold jewelry and leave a hickey just out of sight on your neck for good measure. The part that he loves the most about it though, is that you know exactly what he’s doing and show off his signs of possession with pride

L = Location 

He prefers to keep most of your sexual acts to the area in and around his cottage. Other than in bed, he loves to press you up against a wall. Sometimes you two get distracted while tending to the farms and end up heatedly making out in the snow. One time, you decide you wanted to lay out some blankets on the floor and do it right in front of the fireplace. He adored the way the firelight danced across your skin. (He’s thought about taking you down to the syndicate room and laying you out across the table. But he came to the unfortunate conclusion that during meetings, he’d never be able to look anyone straight in the eyes ever again. So he’s shelved that idea for the time being. Maybe once the group has disbanded...)

M = Motivation

He loves to be praised by you. During regular day-to-day life, he doesn’t like to accept any compliments from you, usually just brushing them off or responding with a joke. But when you two are alone together and intimate, he drinks that shit up. How can he not believe it when you look up and him with lidded eyes and tell him just how good he makes you feel. Just moaning against his lips as he kisses you is enough to keep him going for a while

N = NO 

He will never do anything that involves seeing your own blood. It sets off the voices too much. One day, you randomly got a nosebleed while cooking dinner together. He could smell it before he even saw it. When the voices recognized the deep red color dripping down your face, they wouldn’t stop chanting. He tried to help you clean up, but it became too much to ignore. He had to go out back and slaughter at least a dozen zombies before they shut up. And even then, he was left with a pounding headache. You were extra gentle and sweet with him when you cuddled up in bed together that night

O = Oral 

If you’re on the receiving end, be prepared for him to be down there a looooong time. Once he gets his mouth on you, it’s hard for him to pull away. He loves your smell and taste too much. He tries not to get too carried away, but there was one time he made you come 5 times in a row with just his mouth. He was very thorough with his aftercare that night.

He isn’t the one receiving very often. He only really likes it when he’s tired. He loves to sit back in a chair and watch you gently suck him of on your knees in front of him, one hand gently weaving it’s way through your hair

P = Pace 

I always imagine him on the slower side. He likes to savor every moment, making sure that every thrust or movement of his hand is intentional and perfectly placed. He takes time to watch you carefully to make sure you’re getting exactly what you need. He’ll go harder before he goes faster

Q = Quickie 

As much as he loves to treasure your intimate time together, there are times where he just needs it. Every once and awhile, he’ll be desperate for it and quickly have you against the wall before heading out to run some errands. Sometimes he’ll pull you in, make you cum, and head out the door without saying a single word. He usually feels the need to make up for it when he returns, but you’ve assured him many times that you love sex with him at any pace

R = Risk 

Since he’s still fairly inexperienced despite his skills, he’s not super adventurous himself. More often than not, you’re the one bringing new ideas to the relationship. He’s willing to try the new things you suggest. You’ve had a discussion about your limits, and you both understand what goes too far for each other

S = Stamina 

He can go multiple times in a row if he wants to, and for a long time. He lowkey loves it when you tire out before him, and you let him keep going while you lie there sleepily in his arms

T = Toy 

He doesn’t own any sex toys, but he likes to make sex toys out of everyday objects (as long as they’re safe and properly cleaned of course). He likes the idea of never being able to look at that object the same way again, especially if it’s something either of you use around the house frequently. He would get his hands on some actual toys if you wanted him to. If toys are involved, he prefers them to be used on you, not on him

U = Unfair 

He likes to randomly tease you during moments that are absolutely not sexual. Maybe you’re brushing out his hair, complaining about the knots in it. He’ll suddenly respond with “that’s not what you told me in the bedroom last night” leaving you to sit there in shock while he laughs. Or he’ll quote things you said to him during sex completely deadpan and watch as the blush rises to your cheeks

V = Volume 

He’s not extremely loud. When he is loud though, he growls. You’ll be able to feels his chest vibrating when you lean into him. Sometimes you can even feel the vibrations through his lips as he pleasures you with his mouth, which is an absolutely crazy and wonderful feeling.

During very domestic moments, he likes to talk a lot during sex. If he comes home from working all day, and he’s missing you greatly, he loves to tell you all about his day while his cock gently rocks inside of you

W = Wild Card 

This part is definitely just gonna be me fulfilling one of my personal kinks, but I love the idea of techno going through a heat since he’s part piglin. Maybe it only happens like once a year, but when it’s that time, his senses are kicked into high gear and he’s desperate for you. The two of you have a routine for it by now. You prepare the bedroom by gathering every blanket in the house, and prepping a week’s worth of food & water that can be eaten quickly during the moments when techno’s haze of arousal drops. Once he feels it start to set in, he locks the bedroom door and allows his senses to become completely enveloped by you

X = X-Ray 

I like to believe that a lot of the hybrid races are PACKING. It’s one of the many things he’s nervous about on your first time, but seeing the way your able to take him so well every time is such a turn on

Y = Yearning 

Both you and him can be too tired to have sex at times, but if he’s able to have you, he’ll take everything he can get. He loves to take care of you if you’ve had a long day, and he knows you’ll do the same for him

Z = ZZZ 

If it’s nighttime sex, he can pass out as soon as aftercare is over. But if it’s morning or midday, he can have sex and go about the rest of his day no problem. Since his orgasms are so long, he likes to make you cum more often than he does, and watching you cum invigorates him

[thestalwartheart]

For your writing prompt: ‘absolve’ would be a fun one to explore 👀

Thank you for the writing prompt, Soup! 💕 I hope you enjoy this. I umm-ed and ahh-ed over this for a while, but we got there in the end! Snacks and hum still to come. (Oh look, I'm a poet and I certainly did not know it.)

Under the cut for length. 👇 It's a bit longer than the usual, so you can also read on AO3 if you'd prefer.

absolve.

Q looks down at the mangled scraps of Bond’s Walther and sighs heavily before turning away to squint at a notification on his screen. Whatever it is, has Q distracted enough that Bond has to clear his throat to get the Quartermaster’s attention again.

“Apologies, 007,” says Q. “If that’s everything, you can go.”

“No bollocking today?”

“I have enough on my plate,” says Q loftily, “I’m hereby absolving myself of all responsibility in lecturing you. ”

“That’s a shame.”

“You enjoy it far too much.”

“Anyone would.”

The Quartermaster clears his throat, a sure sign he’s been thrown off balance.

“Well, that attitude goes some way to explaining your abysmal rate of equipment return.” He shakes off the pinkness in his cheeks. “If you’re desperate for punishment, you can report to the Finance department at three pm. I assure you their lectures are about as exciting as a blunt HB pencil.”

“I’m familiar,” says Bond tightly. “I’m afraid I’ll be busy watching paint dry.”

With a hard stab to his keyboard’s key and a tight, decisive smile, Q snaps, “Cancel your plans. They’re expecting you.”

“You’re honestly packing me off to bloody Accounting?”

“Finance,” corrects Q. “Unbelievably, it’s an entirely different department.”

Bond rounds the desk, perching himself on its edge and leaning into Q’s space. “And there’s nothing I can do to persuade you to cancel that meeting?”

Q looks up at him, flustered but largely unimpressed. The withering look on his face is one Bond carries with him everywhere, a fond memory for him to draw on when things in the field go to shit.

“Your charm doesn’t work nearly so well outside the medical department, Bond. I’m afraid the only thing that would persuade me to do anything is a bit of equipment returned in one piece.” Q picks up a detached bit of the gun in disgust. “I’d welcome an earpiece, frankly.”

Bond smiles, reaching into his pocket and placing its contents gently on the desk in front of Q. It’s a gleaming Omega watch, its explosive insides untapped and its glass face without a single scratch.

“What — you blew up the last one I gave you.” Q turns the watch over in confusion.

“It’s not yours,” says Bond, not bothering to hide the fondness in his voice. “It was one of the last things your predecessor gave me.”

Q swallows. Bond is aware of the esteem in which the younger Quartermaster held his elder counterpart. They’d both been fundamentally different people; one, a madman, fond of fitting explosive devices where they ought not to be and always looking toward his next holiday; the other a rigid, whip-smart workaholic who preferred explosive devices to look their part. And yet both of them wrapped themselves in cardigans and tweed — the unofficial uniform of Cambridge-educated eccentrics everywhere.

“You needn’t hand this back, Bond,” says Q softly. “Especially not for a favour. We both know you’re not going to that bloody meeting anyway.”

His fingers are the tell, white-knuckled where they grasp the links of the watch band. Bond thinks of a soft confession Q made to him once over a whisky. You can’t imagine the chaos. One explosion set off a chain of others, and in the end — well, you saw it. There was nothing left. Silva didn’t just blow up the building, he blew up our past too.

“Keep it,” insists Bond. He tries not to feel too guilty at the thought of a handful of other gadgets in the back of his bedroom wardrobe. Maybe one day he’ll have Q there to show him in person.

“Thank you.” Q smiles gratefully before picking up his half-filled mug. “I’ll cancel the meeting with Finance.”

“No,” says Bond. “I have a different request.”

“For heaven’s sake,” Q sighs, though it’s lacking its usual disgruntled air. “Go on, then.”

“Come to dinner with me.”

Q chokes around a sip of tea. “Sorry, what?”

“Seven o’clock. No excuses,” teases Bond, nodding at the watch. “I know that thing runs on time.”

Q looks down and laughs, disbelieving. Bond knows if the answer is no, he’ll likely never get another chance at this. Perhaps he should have saved his request for a moment when Q didn’t have a thousand demands on his time, but this is the way Bond prefers to operate, by impulsively throwing all his eggs in one explosive basket and hoping for the best. No use dragging out the inevitable.

“All right,” comes the reply, quiet. “Yes. Fine. Seven o’clock?”

For all the seriousness of his voice, Q’s eyes are glinting hopefully under the awful fluorescent lights of his lab.

Bond hums. “Wear something nice.”

Q turns away with a smile, his thumb strokes over the watch face. “I will.”

[a-libra-writes]

SFW Alphabet - The Huntress

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Anna is plenty affectionate when you both are alone. It took some time for her to be more open to hand-holding or cuddling and not just hovering over you, anxiously looking around for any danger lurking by. When you first began to take her hand or sit close to her, she almost wasn’t sure what to do, but she welcomed it. It’s been such a long time since she had this sort of affection.

The most obvious way she shows affection is by doggedly protecting you, but there’s more. She likes to have you in her lap while she sharpens her hatchets or bandages up her fingers, put a hand on the small of your back while you both walk through the forest, whittle you little wooden animals … Good luck leaving unless there's a Trial. She won't want you leaving her sight and wouldn't understand why you'd do such a thing.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

A friend is already as rare as a lover, so she treats them much the same. She'll be less overprotective, but just as stubborn, and will still want to teach them things and spend time with them. Anna is almost normal when you're her friend, sometimes you forget she's a giant axe-throwing killer… then she'll do something creepy and put you on edge all over again. And she certainly won't be more merciful in trials.

She's surprisingly easy to approach, if you want to attempt making friends. Unlike most killers in the Fog, she won't try to axe you right away (unless you're a man or present as one…). She'll let you watch her hunt and follow her from a distance, but eventually she'll approach if you don't do so. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She loves cuddling! And such a big woman is excellent at it. She’ll cuddle anywhere you want, but it’s most comfortable in a warm space with a fire - that's more for your comfort, not her’s - and she’ll pull you into her lap and wrap her strong arms around you. She adores it when you press against her chest or her neck, especially when she can feel your soft lips against her skin. She’ll want to pet your hair, sing to you, listen to your chatter - anything. When it comes to sleeping next to her, the cuddling is less cozy because she holds you so close and leaves you little room for wiggling.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Anna would just love to have a blissful domestic life with you. She wants you to live in the cabin her mother built, with a little girl or two you both raise together, with a garden and maybe a good hunting dog and … you get the picture. It’s sweet how much she yearns for this, how clearly she can see it in her mind. It really would hurt her if you didn’t want to at least live with her (nevermind how difficult the Entity makes that whole scenario…). She’ll teach you all she knows, too: She’s excellent at cleaning and cooking all the game she hunts, and she’ll fix up the cabin anytime it needs repairs. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It would take a long time for Anna to get to this point. She’s so lonely and so attached that she’s willing to put up with a lot. She will eventually draw a line, though, and she’ll make her concerns known. Depending on how you break up, Anna will either keep her negative feelings to herself and sulk in the Fog… or she’ll go out of her way to target you in the Trials. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Her experience with feelings like this are next to none, but she believes you two must be meant to be together! She has such wonderful, light feelings when you’re around. It’s the only good thing in this strange, confusing place she’s been brought to. Marriage doesn’t mean much here, but if you brought it up, Anna would be tickled to wear something matching and have a little ‘ceremony’. It binds you to her even more.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Anna tries her best to be physically gentle, but she is a strong woman and may grip you too hard, especially at first when she’s so unused to being with someone. She has trouble reigning in her strength when she’s worried, angry or excited. Though when she hears you cry out, she instantly stops and carefully handles you like glass for the rest of the day. She’s always very careful when carrying you while you’re injured … even when she has to put you on the hook eventually, she'll make it quick and give another Survivor a little extra time to get you. If you've had an especially bad series of trials, she'll brutally sacrifice every other Survivor and gently carry you to the hatch. Anna thinks this is a very good, kind thing to do.

For emotions, Anna isn’t so good with that. She doesn’t always understand the terror or anger or sadness you might have… Hell, when you first met, she didn’t understand why you were afraid. She was instantly intrigued, yet you kept running. Sometimes talking to her about emotions is difficult because she wants to act and fix it, but that isn’t always possible. She’ll even get upset if you don’t seem to cheer up after a while.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She pulls you into her arms and gives you a long hug that’s warm and almost too tight. Often she’ll rest her head against your shoulder, since you’re much shorter, and just stay there for a minute or so. If she was more talkative, she’d probably express how worried she was and how relieved she is when you’re back from the Trial, but this is enough to get her point across. Quick hugs are fine, but the lingering ones are the most intimate. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Anna says all sorts of sweet phrases and words in Russian, you aren’t positive what they all mean, but they’re certainly good things! Though there’s one phrase she says that’s always softer, always muttered when she’s holding you tight. You have a feeling you know what she’s saying, and it doesn’t take long for her to form that attachment to you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

She doesn’t get jealous, exactly; her protective instinct takes over first. If someone is flirting with you, she perceives them as a danger first, not a rival - especially if it’s a Killer. A Survivor could be clearly flirting and she’d assume their closeness and lingering eyes means they’re going to do something dangerous. Anna’s reaction is the same: She pointedly steps in front of you and tells them to leave… with or without hatchet in hand, depending on her mood.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

She loves any kiss you give her, but the light, playful ones are the most fun because she doesn’t expect them. She just lights up when you kiss her scarred knuckles and her rough palms, or place a kiss on her cheek. She’s a little shy to take off her mask, but when you kiss her nose, it’s just so cute! It helps her relax into your deeper kisses. She likes to kiss your chest, to feel your heartbeat and soft skin between your breasts. Her second favorite place is wherever makes you giggle. It’s just too cute to hear. Anna’s lips are pretty chapped, which is to be expected. Initially she kissed a bit too hard, as it was a new thing, but once she gets the hang of it she likes being gentler.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Anna says she adores children, especially girls. She likes to chat with them, play with them, teach them things. Her mother taught her everything, after all, and she loved her mother. Though the more you talk about this, the sadder Anna becomes. When she speaks to you about the little girls - the ones she ‘saved’ - you start to wonder if Anna actually knows anything about raising children, even if her heart is in the right place. It’s probably best she doesn’t, at least not without you to help.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If you both were in the real world, in some idyllic country cabin, Anna would wake up just before dawn. She’d give you a kiss on the cheek while you slept before going off to her morning chores, usually cleaning something she hunted, getting firewood inside or clearing a path in the snow. By the time you’re awake, she’s made coffee and washes up before joining you for breakfast. 

… Though this is the Fog, so the schedule is a bit different. Neither of you need much sleep, but she’ll still “wake up” before you to patrol around. She hates anyone coming near the little shack you both tend to stay in, especially killers. When she comes back, she brings something she hunted that you two can roast over the fire. You’re… pretty sure the animals in the Fog are edible…?

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Snuggled up to the fire in the evening is Anna’s favorite. Before she’d endure the cold and a little fire, but it’s so much better when she’s got you wrapped in a blanket on her lap. You’ll still need to add logs and stoke the fire because her tolerance to the cold is near freakish thanks to the Entity. It’s modest,  but it’s a luxury considering the rest of the Fog. You have a feeling she’d want the same if you both were in the “real” world again, but you could introduce her to hot cocoa and a silly tv show.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Anna isn't so talkative, but you can glean things from how she acts and what she teaches you. Her protectiveness and paranoia is obvious, but there's also the careful way she looks after her equipment and how easily she hunts. When she starts mentioning her past, things begin to click into place. You can ask her most anything, but thinking of the little girls she lost and her mother can get her quiet for hours. It’s still a painful subject.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

When it comes to you? Anna is incredibly patient as she guides you through tracking in the wilderness, making a fire, throwing an axe, actually using the axe properly to chop something, and so on. She’ll smile (and maybe suppress a chuckle) when you inevitably mess up, and gently correct you. When you’re done she wants to check over any calluses and bruises, and wrap them up herself. 

You’ve seen the other side, though. When you come back battered from a trial, and she knows who did it just based on the injuries. She doesn’t speak, only gesturing you to stay put before she furiously stalks off into the Fog, her shoulders hunched and her fists tightening hard around her hatchet. There’s no amount of calling after Anna, or god forbid, grabbing her so she’ll stop. Even the mention of a Survivor bothering you is enough to get that dark glint in her eyes. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Anna remembers … unusual things. She knows your scent, even when you’re covered in muck and blood. If you’re shampooed and perfumed, well, she can pick that out from an impressive distance. She remembers your gait, the way it sounds and how it looks through the fog. When she’s alone, she remembers new songs you’ve given her to hum, and how you feel against her. Things like favorite colors, movies or random facts of your time hold less water. They aren’t immediately important to her.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Her favorite memory, even years after you both are together, is the first time she got to hold you in her arms. There was a lot of build-up before that; following Anna around, getting to know her, you both getting closer and you finally allowing her to be so close. That’s what it felt like, permission, and she was more than happy to scoot in and cuddle up. She was delighted that you were just as soft and warm as she always imagined.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Incredibly protective. It cannot be understated how much Anna wants to lock you into her mother’s home like she did those girls, but this time she knows what to do. She could keep you safe, she says, if only you both were in her home again. It hurts her that she can’t fight the Entity or keep you permanently safe from the other Killers. Sure, she can wound them or chase them off, and she can tend to your wounds after Trials, but it’s not the same.

You know this weighs on Anna some days, so it’s best to comfort her and indulge in her desire. Yes, it would be wonderful if you stayed at her cabin.  You could cook the meat she brings home, and tend to a little garden outside. There’s not much you can do to “protect” such an imposing hunter, but these sweet fantasies make her feel much better.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It's difficult to keep track of time in the Fog, so the concept of anniversaries or even normal dates is asking for a lot. Still, Anna puts clear effort into your relationship. She protects you, brings you little trinkets she's made or found, and likes to find quiet, safe places to keep you until a Trial starts.

If the two of you weren't trapped, she still wouldn't be the best about remembering specific dates. But she'd still do little things to express her love every day.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She’s quite insistent that she knows the best way to protect you. Not that there aren’t plenty of things the Entity has dragged in specifically to murder you, but sometimes it can border on paranoia. You’ve often felt that if you ever came across Anna in the real world, she would have locked you up “for your own good”. Even just considering the things and people that could hurt you fills the intimidating woman with a sense of anxiety and dread… and she turns that to resolve. Trust her, dorogaya. Just let her take care of everything. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Anna doesn’t think much of her looks, and never has. Not once was it something her mother raised her to consider important. Everything about her attire is meant for practicality… except for the trinkets around her waistband. And the masks. Those are sentimental, not mere decoration. After knowing you, she makes a point to clean her hands and nails before any cuddling and romance goes down. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

There was always that horrible feeling she had after losing a girl. If she lost you, it would be so much worse. She didn’t think it could be this much worse. It was unbearable. Anna would lash out, freezing her heart even more than before. She’d alternate between lashing out at the Entity and those around her. Her axes would still hit their targets, but it would be a much bloodier affair - more the work of a butcher than a hunter. It’s so much harder to move on this time, and for once, the idea of finding someone new to protect isn’t helping.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Anna has a variety of animal masks, but her rabbit is her favorite and most worn. They were just fun things her mother helped her make, one of the few real toys she had growing up. So it’s sentimental and makes her feel comfortable when she wears them. She doesn’t mind taking them off when you’re both alone and she wants kisses, but not in front of people she doesn’t like or trust. She thinks you look adorable when you wear one!

The Entity has given her some mutations, though they aren’t apparent from a distance. The most obvious are her eyes and nose. When she takes off her mask, you can clearly see her sclera and irises are all black, with her pupils being little specks of light in that blackness. They can be a bit unsettling. Her nose is oddly shaped, clearly not natural; it reminds you of a panther. Her nails are thick, short and black, with the nailbeds being a purpley-black. Her gums and most of her veins have a blackish tint as well. While she was already a powerful woman before, the Entity has made her even moreso. She has a high tolerance to the elements in general, and the pads of her feet are rough and black like a dog’s paws.

This is probably obvious, but Anna dislikes men. ‘Hate’ is a strong word but she has an instant reaction to throwing an axe to anyone presenting as male - as opposed to a woman, where she might hesitate or observe before throwing it. She doesn’t like men talking to her, she doesn’t trust them, she gladly tosses them around like dolls during Trials. A man you greatly trust will not be free of her suspicion and ire, but she’s willing to be begrudgingly civil if you scold her.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

She dislikes cruelty, both in a partner and in people. Note, Anna doesn’t consider what she does to be cruel - she tries to minimize suffering, or at least, that’s what she believes. It’s why she has little patience for the other Killers. She also doesn’t like someone who might be secretive, or doesn’t trust her. She’s trying to help. Why would you leave without telling her? Can’t you see she’s doing what’s best for you? This stubbornness isn’t cute. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Anna can sleep anywhere. She can sleep sitting up or standing, on the hard ground or covered in a cloth under the snow. She’s become so accustomed to rough sleeping conditions that if ever given a chance to have a soft, clean bed, it would be a little disarming. The sheer softness would make it difficult to sleep - like she was going to fall through the fluff - and she’d probably accidentally rip any sheets. When she sleeps, she’s oddly still; only the soft noise coming from her nose is evidence she’s resting. It’s hard to tell if her eyes are closed with that mask on. Often, she sleeps with a hand on a hatchet.

[secretlittlerandezvous]

A Day With The Benns - Jamie Benn

Summary: A look into the Benns household and a day spent with the family.

To the angel who requested this: From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. I don't know who you are but I love you - for this request and for the beautiful words that came with it. It keeps making me feel like my heart will burst from happiness. I also thank you for giving me a reason to write about how I see my future life and what I hope for (this is basically me writing about my dream life) 💘🕊💫

Note: D/n means “daughter’s name”. The bedtime story is an excerpt from the book “Goodnight, hockey fans” by Andrew Larsen.

Words: 2487

“The truest, best love had nothing to do with luck. Luck was faithless, and worth little. True love wasn’t fancy, and it wasn’t magical, but simply true in every sense: honest, loyal and sure.” — Sonja Yoerg

It was that kind of a morning when you wake up and you know summer finally arrived. The sun was nicely warm and comforting unlike the stinging and cold winter sun, the birds were chirping in the trees from early in the morning and the air was fresh and warm. Y/n was woken up by the streaks of sunlight creeping into the bedroom through the window. She opened her eyes for a second and then closed them again and enjoyed the peace she felt which was quite unusual in the past few weeks. She didn’t hear a baby crying or the older kids running around the house wildly, she wasn’t woken up by them jumping on the bed to wake her up or by her husband leaving early for work. She loved her life and the chaos of it but it felt so nice to have a calm morning for once. After she fully enjoyed the silence, she opened her eyes, stretched her arms, and with a smile already present on her face she turned around to see her husband. Jamie had his back to her, but she certainly enjoyed the view at her husband’s muscular back and arms and she even blushed at the sight of him. But what warmed her heart, what couldn’t be beaten by his tattoos or muscles was the way he talked to their four months old baby girl. He had his arm protectively around her and Y/n found the contrast of his strong tattooed arm and her tiny little hand and fingers covered in a pink onesie absolutely adorable. He tickled her on her belly, and she smiled at him or watched him with her bright eyes with pure love. Y/n and the kids wished he could spend a little more time with them but they all understood why he couldn’t and whenever he was home he made the most of it and he dedicated his time to help his wife and to entertain the kids.

“Good morning my loves,” Y/n said happily as she looked over Jamie’s shoulder, kissed his cheek, and then smiled at their daughter who got even more excited when she noticed her.

“See? I told you mommy will wake up soon to give you a breakfast,” Jamie said to the little one. “Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I can’t do honey.” He said to Y/n and kissed her back.

“Not sure if anyone would want you to breastfeed babe,” she joked and took their daughter into her arms to feed her. “Are the kiddos awake?”

“Don’t think so,” Jamie mumbled. “I’ll go wake them up in a bit.” But first, he wanted to enjoy his wife’s company.

She was beautiful. He found her so beautiful. And he adored everything about her. Her kindness, the way she always loved him even though he could get a little grumpy sometimes. The way she handled everything with such ease. How smart she was. How supportive and understanding she was of him and his career. How she raised the kids, took care of them and their household on her own when he was away, and never used that against him. How good she was at her own job. How she created such a loving atmosphere in their family. Everything.

Jamie soon left to wake up the two older boys who even despite the complaints got out of the bed pretty quick and happily ran downstairs to help their dad in the kitchen. Y/n stayed behind a little to take care of D/n and to put herself together before she headed to the kitchen to join the rest of the pack. She heard laughter and giggles coming from there and she stopped and listened to the conversation they were having, she smiled to herself and enjoyed everything that was said.

Y/n often felt that she didn’t have enough time to pause and enjoy the present moment, but she was slowly learning to do so. The kids were growing up way too fast for her liking, life kept moving forward without a chance of it ever slowing down and she got sad at times when she realized how fast the kids will turn into adults. Y/n wanted to stay stuck in time, stay this old for a little longer and have the kids stay little longer, and have more time to process it all. But mostly she wanted a little more time off for Jamie who even though never said it out loud regretted not being there for them all the time. But they knew he loved them more than anything or anyone else in the world and that was enough.

“Can we go skating with you dad?” Their oldest son asked with hope, but he knew what answer was coming. He asked the same question, every morning when Jamie was home and about to go to practice. Each time the answer was no but he never gave up. The positive attitude towards everything and how he was never losing hope was Jamie’s favorite trait of their oldest son. It reminded him of Y/n.

“You know you can’t come with me buddy,” Jamie said with a sad voice. He hated saying no to him and he even wished he could bring the boys with him, but it was never convenient. “But I can ask the boys and we can go skating together on the weekend. What do you think?”

“I think we should hurry up,” Y/n joined the conversation, but no one heard her because the boys started screaming in excitement. She then sat down at the table and enjoyed the pancakes Jamie and the boys made for her and she helped their younger son with eating because he preferred to play with it rather than eating it. “Did you guys tell daddy where you’re going today?”

“No,” the older boy said. “We’re going to the zoo with the kindergarten.”

“And you wanted to miss the zoo to go skating? The zoo’s more fun for sure.” Jamie answered.

After the tasty breakfast, everyone headed to the bathroom to get ready for kindergarten and the day. Jamie helped them brush their teeth and hair, he even let them use a tiny little amount of his deodorant because both boys adored their dad and wanted to be just like him. It wasn’t rare for the boys to draw on their hands and pretend the drawings were real tattoos or them putting on Jamie’s hockey gear and playing hockey around the house. Y/n in the meantime prepared their outfits, soothed the crying baby, and managed to get dressed up without being disturbed.

“I’ll drop the kids at the kindergarten,” Jamie whispered as he wrapped his hands around Y/n’s waist from behind and hugged her tightly. “And I’ll try to get back home sooner than usual, and we can then do something fun.”

“Aren’t you amazing?” Y/n said happily, turning around to face Jamie, wrapping her hands around his neck, and kissing him before he got to answer. She expected a cocky answer from him, and she wanted to avoid it.

A few minutes later the whole family was outside their house, all of them about to head in different directions to different places. The boys were going to the kindergarten, Jamie to the arena and Y/n and D/n were going for a regular check-up at the doctor. “I love you boys,” said with a proud face and kissed all three boys goodbye.

“And we love you girls,” Jamie said, kissed Y/N and their daughter and the boys repeated after him before they all jumped into the car.

Later that day after Y/n returned home from the doctors and the grocery store, she cooked lunch for herself and then picked up the boys from the kindergarten. They then went for a walk around the neighborhood to put D/n to sleep in her stroller and the boys being the amazing brothers argued about who was gonna push the stroller. Y/n felt joy in her heart she couldn’t describe. She was simply proud of how loving the boys were.

When Jamie returned home, 2 hours earlier than usual, he expected to find his pack in the living room and he secretly hoped they would greet him, but the house was empty. He went to the living room and that’s when he finally found Y/n and the kids. They were in the garden enjoying the warm weather and the sunshine, eating some fruit, and playing with way too many things but they seemed to be enjoying. Jamie watched them from behind the glass door and adored Y/n once again. She was smiling widely, she glowed and looked even prettier than usual at that moment. She was showing D/n some flowers they probably picked in their garden and D/n was from what Jamie saw laughing at it. The boys were sitting on the blankets around the girls, their younger son was drawing something (and judging from the dozens of papers lying around it wasn’t his first artwork that day) and the older son was playing the puzzles while telling Y/n some exciting story. She listened carefully to every word and looked at the kids with so much love and adoration that Jamie wondered how he could get so lucky.

“Dad!” The younger boy screamed when Jamie came to the garden and both boys happily ran towards him to hug him.

“When you said you were gonna come home earlier I didn’t expect it would be this early,” Y/n said to Jamie as he sat down next to her. “But I’m not complaining. I missed you.”

“Missed you too love,” Jamie whispered as he leaned closer to kiss her and he then picked up D/n and took her in his arms to cuddle with her. Jamie was such a great dad and Y/n always knew he would be even though Jamie used to call himself a boy dad and say that he wouldn’t know what to do with a girl. But the moment they found out their next baby was going to be a girl he changed his mind completely and couldn’t wait to have a daughter. And from the second she was born she had him wrapped around her finger. “If you want you can go take a nap, I’ll stay there with the kids. I know you didn’t get much sleep.” Jamie offered.

At the first moment, she wanted to accept the offer and go to bed but when she looked around, she changed her mind. The sky was still blue, the sun was still shining, and the kids were having way too much fun and there was no way she was gonna miss this moment with her whole family. “I think I’ll stay right here.” She said with a smile.

The family stayed in the garden until the sun disappeared from the sky and just when the air got significantly colder, they all realized it was time to head home and have dinner. Neither one of them wanted to move because they were having so much fun but all of them were hungry and tired after a long day. The boys happily helped Y/n with dinner and although it took a little longer and the kitchen was a little messier than if Y/n did it on her own she enjoyed it as any other activity with her loves. Dinner was a favorite time of the day in the Benn family because it was usually the time when they all gathered and spent time together. For Y/n it was a time where she finally had everyone home and that was when she felt best even if it meant Jamie would leave for a game later. Jamie loved it because he was finally home with the ones most important to him and nothing could ever compare to the warmth of being home with his family. The kids loved dinner just as any other time they would get to eat but even they knew it meant they would most likely be all together.

“Dad? Can you read to us tonight?” One of the boys asked Jamie after the dinner.

“Of course!” Jamie answered with excitement. “Go brush your teeth and I’ll be there in a second okay?”

The boys listened and ran upstairs to their bathroom to brush their teeth and put on their pajamas and quickly jumped to bed and waited for Jamie. Jamie soon left Y/n alone in the living room so she could feed the baby in peace and went to the boys’ room.

“Alright, boys, ready?” Jamie asked the boys as he sat down with the book the boys picked. It was their favorite book about hockey that Jamie got them when they were younger and both Jamie and Y/n lost track of the number of times they read it to them. “A young boy doesn't want to go to bed. The hockey game is on! ‘What if I can't fall asleep?’ the boy says. ‘Don't worry,’ says his dad. ‘You will.’ After his parents have tucked him in and turned out the light, he shines a flashlight on his prized hockey possessions around his room: the posters of his favorite players, the pennant for his favorite team, the puck.” Jamie read. Not for too long though, the boys well asleep after a few minutes. “Good night boys,” Jamie said quietly as he left the room.

Y/n just finished putting D/n to sleep when Jamie walked into their bedroom. “That was quick,” Y/n noted.

“Told you I have a talent at putting the kids to sleep.” He said with a grin. “Abd good night to my little princess.” He whispered and kissed his little girl gently on her forehead before Y/n put her into her crib.

“You’re just lucky,” Y/n answered.

“I am,” Jamie said with a proud smile as he looked at his wife. He knew he was lucky. He hardly ever told this to his family, but he knew they knew he loved them more than anything. “And now I can finally focus purely on you.” He announced when he got out of the shower and went to Y/n.

“This was one of the nicest days in a while Jamie,” Y/n snuggled to Jamie and traced Jamie’s tattoos mindlessly. “Oh, and you better don’t forget to take the kids skating on the weekend. They were talking about it all day.” She laughed.

“I told the team and they all agreed to hang out,” he said. “And now give me a big kiss.” He said seriously.

“You’re horrible,” Y/n laughed before she kissed him. No matter how annoying and cocky he could get she loved him with all her heart.

[lilover131]

Chapter 57 Analysis

I’m alive!!! I apologize for taking so long to talk about this chapter. I had been struggling gathering enough energy to do this due to some mild health issues and honestly barely got through my CLAMPtober drawings (thank you SO much for all the support during all of that btw. You guys really helped keep me going). I had intended to even write fics and post one of them on Halloween too, but it turns out severe anemia is no fun at all and just throws a wrench in things. Lol. I’m recovering slowly and starting to feel a little more like myself, but I know it might take some time to fully get back to normal.

This chapter had very little Syaoran (much to my dismay), but was still fascinating and brought up a lot of interesting details that are definitely getting the theory gears turning for the fandom. There were some things that also very much amused me. Hehe.

Without further ado, let’s dig right in! See under the cut due to length and spoilers!

As usual, I’ll start off talking about the beautiful color spread. We’ve had seen an image before of Momo, Kero, and Suppi in their disguise forms, but this is the first image we’ve had of all of them in their true forms!!! Momo looks absolutely stunning once again, and it just makes me want to draw her again. Lmao. I’ll take another crack at it at some point (preferably when thinking about drawing right now doesn’t make me feel exhausted just thinking about it).

 The beginning of the actual chapter has a very familiar sight. We’ve all become used to CLAMP’s occasional storybook style storytelling, but another familiar sight is the design of ‘Alice’. We’ve seen this before in episode 55 of the original 90’s anime, “Sakura and Sakura From Wonderland”.

It’s really nice to see this version of Alice continue on through Clear Card now, but the story told is very different from the typical Alice in Wonderland story. It tells the story of a girl named Alice who lived in a separate world. She was raised by a kind family and was kind herself, but she had the unique ability to have premonitory dreams. One might think that this is Akiho, but I feel this actually fits Sakura best in this circumstance. After all, Sakura, unlike Akiho (poor thing), grew up with a happy loving family and has the ability to dream about the future. I don’t want to discount any idea of any hidden abilities Akiho may have being the magical device that her clan turned her into, but she certainly wasn’t able to grow up with a kind family. I believe truly that Akiho’s parents loved her, but Akiho unfortunately never got to know them, so it’s hard to say how much they were able to influence her personality now when she was such a young age during their living years.

 What comes next though is both fascinating and amusing. Alice finds a stray cat in one of her dreams and brings it home with her. The shape of the cat’s tail in particular seems to points towards this also being the ‘dragon’ we’ve seen in Sakura’s dreams and on the border of the backstory for Kaito (don’t think I missed those cats on the border of this story looking so similar to the dragons for Kaito’s backstory, CLAMP!!). It seems heavily implied that this cat is Kaito, which if that is the case, then… OMG YUNYA D KAITO IS ACTUALLY A THING?!!! LOL

 You might recall me mentioning a while back in July how I was talking to @meimi-haneoka​ about how I felt Kaito was much like a cat in personality (which also resulted in me drawing two pieces of fanart with Kaito having cat ears), and now I’m starting to think CLAMP feels exactly the same. Hahahahaha.

 Alice seems a bit distressed about what to do in this other world in her dreams, which is so different from her own, and she is guided by her cat. She was shown all sorts of things she had never seen before, but the detail in particular that stuck out to her the most was the bending of time (which definitely again points to Kaito).

Alice tries to look for a way back to her own world, and while doing so she meets “The Red Queen”. The bits of the story that CLAMP is willing to divulge at this point stops here, and it leaves me SO curious. It’s difficult for me to tell who has what role in this story, save for Kaito. Alice’s story fits Sakura best, but the part about the cat guiding Alice and showing her all sorts of new things also sounds like Akiho, so I find it difficult to tell who this is meant to be in CLAMP’s telling. Until we know more about the role of the ”Red Queen”, we’ll just have to speculate. I can also imagine Sakura as the Red Queen, considering we’ve already seen her in such an outfit in the second Clear Card opening. However, I honestly think it would be incredibly interesting to see Akiho in that role as well. I’m so excited to hear more of this story.

 The chapter flashes back to real life, where even Sakura seems to feel that the Alice story very much matches what is going on with her presently. In fact, it’s so accurate that Kero and Suppi even begin to question if Naoko has some sort of special abilities. However, Suppi mentions that it’s possible for tremendously creative people to possess some sort of a sixth sense, and that they are able to sometimes show something from not just the past, but things that happened long ago and even events that have yet to occur through their works.

 And can I just say that...like, something about this part just really resonated with me? Like, call me crazy, but I feel like this is actually incredibly true. I believe that super creative people are able to see the world and events in very unique ways much different than everyone else, so I think it’d make sense for them to inadvertently have a ‘sixth sense’. I honestly think that is something so super cool to think about, and I just love the way CLAMP introduces traits in ordinary people that are so incredible, they’re practically magic (like Tomoyo and her great observation skills). It’s almost like CLAMP is trying to tell us that we too carry our own sort of magic, even if magic itself isn’t real, and I’m just totally feeling it.  

 Sakura goes on to explain how Naoko described coming up with the idea. We of course knew already that Naoko thought of the two Alices when seeing Sakura and Akiho next to each other, but what ended up truly explaining Naoko’s writing was that Akiho had told her about her ‘Alice in Clockland’ book.  This really goes to show that although it’s a most definitely a special book to Akiho, she speaks about it to anyone who will listen like it is just any regular book. This further proves to me that she doesn’t truly understand what she actually has, but she knows it’s special nonetheless. That’s just something she feels in her heart.

 To Akiho, it is a merely her favorite story, however she does not realize that what she reads and dreams about is actually Sakura’s life and adventures capturing the Clear Cards. The book is even in a language she doesn’t recognize but is able to read due to learning/being taught how (it’s unclear which). I’m very interested to know how she came about learning how to read this story, whether someone taught her, whether this was something the book allowed, or if this is a skill she gathered through the magic her clan placed inside of her (they had mentioned wanting to send her to all sorts of places and have her read a great many books). I’m more inclined to believe that the Alice in Clockland book simply allowed her to be the one to read it. Naturally, when we first saw the book in chapter 12 in the manga, Akiho never got a chance to tell Sakura about the content of the story due to a very timely and likely very purposeful interruption from Kaito. After all, if Sakura knew the story, she’d likely recognize the details immediately, and that would obviously ruin Kaito’s very carefully laid out plans.

 But what made this chapter the most interesting was the fact that Kero actually had heard of “Alice in Clockland”. It doesn’t seem like he recognized it by name per say, which was very likely due to the fact that this is the name that Akiho has given it while it is in her possession (stated by Momo in chapter 50). I imagine maybe it was something about the mention of clocks that made Kero believe it might be the book he was thinking of, but seeing as the book’s name changes with each owner, it makes sense that he wouldn’t have recognized it for certain without seeing it himself.

Even more intriguing is how sentient in nature the book is implied to be. Sakura goes to find a picture she had taken of it, only to find it gone, and the only way she is even able to show an image of it to Kero and Suppi is via Record. The book appears to really go out of its way to hide from those it doesn’t want to be seen by and only appears to those it wishes.

 We then get a bombshell when Kero states that it was once in Clow’s possession, which isn’t entirely surprising. But what is surprising is that the spell that the book supposedly seeks out masters to complete could not be done even by Clow. Whatever the spell may be appears to be more than just forbidden or taboo, but rather labeled impossible. And seeing as Clow himself could not even achieve it and the book promptly yeeted out of his possession by burning up in his hands, it’s understandable how such a spell would be labeled impossible.

 I suppose that really raises some very important questions, and that is how strong is this book exactly, and how much magic does it require to complete this ‘impossible’ spell? Well, it seems believed by Kero and Suppi that Sakura was only able to capture it in an image via Record due to the book’s will, and Sakura has proven to be able to show almost literally anything she wants with this card in the past. Sakura’s strength is unreal and was already confirmed at the end of the original series to be stronger than Clow’s, so if the book is able to hide even from her, that really speaks volumes to the strength of Alice in Clockland as well.

 So, because Kaito is the one who created a contract with this book and Akiho was the one who named it, reads it, and currently possesses it, what does that say about them? Why did the book choose them when even magicians like Clow were unable to complete the forbidden magic successfully? I don’t think it’s necessarily because of the strength of either in terms of magic. Kaito may be an incredible magician, but Sakura still appears to be able to subdue him if she puts her mind to it, so he is not the strongest magician. And Akiho herself contains no magic at all. So knowing this, why did the book choose them? I think it chose them because it just wanted to see what would happen. Kaito seems willing to die to do this, so the book might be wondering “how far is he willing to go to achieve this?”, and I am even willing to bet that the book isn’t confident that Kaito can succeed either, even with his efforts.

 Akiho’s involvement with it could potentially be tied to the magic the clan and association instilled in her as well. The book that the clan and association used on her while performing their spell contained the dragon we’ve seen before on the cover, and we know that this dragon has made appearances in these dreams Sakura has had, so the two could be intertwined in some way.

  Another question that we have continuously had is what this impossible spell may be. Well, the only ‘impossible’ and definitely taboo spell that CLAMP has ever spoken about in any series with magic has been bringing the dead back to life. This topic is specifically mentioned in detail in Tsubasa, and even breaking the laws of the universe wasn’t enough to make that a reality. So my money is on that being the spell in question. I think everyone can relate to wishing that someone lost could be brought back again, but if this were truly what the impossible spell is, that brings up questions again as to why Kaito in particular wants to achieve this. I still believe that Kaito wants to revive someone, and I think that someone is Akiho’s mother. But time will tell for sure what their relationship was even like and what is truly in Kaito’s heart. If it turns out to be a different spell, I’ll be incredibly intrigued, as I cannot think of anything that would be more difficult or more desired by someone. A part of me hopes it is different, honestly, just for the sake of it not following too similar a formula to Tsubasa, because we already know that attempting to such a thing ends badly for everyone.

 Sakura then announces that she wants to speak with the book, much to Kero and Suppi’s surprise, but what I love in particular is how Kero says “I trust you on this one Sakura”. It shows that he really does have faith in her and is really going to let her handle things the way she wants now rather than keeping secrets or doing things behind her back to protect her, as most of them (including Syaoran) had been doing until a short time ago.

 She’s asked about whether she will accept the role of Alice now, knowing what she knows, and when we get her answer, it is while she is sitting at lunch with Tomoyo and Syaoran. Sakura decides to take the role and that she initially thought to decline it, but ultimately felt that something was going to cause her to end up playing the role anyways. I think what she’s saying here is that the situation feels a bit like fate is involved, and that there is really no use trying to fight it. In fact, she thinks it’s better to trust her instincts this time and go along with the current, and Syaoran, just like Kero, shows that he believes in her as well by agreeing.

I think Tomoyo can sense that things are a bit serious in the discussion, so she wonderfully lightens the mood by fantasizing about how excited she is to make her a dress to wear. I personally cannot wait to see what she comes up with, though I have a feeling it might be the outfit Momo placed her in when she dropped her into the dream where no one knew who she was. I think it would be fitting and certainly has an ‘Alice’ look to it, but I would also love to see something new.

 Sakura tells Tomoyo that she cannot wait to wear it, as she had mentioned before that she felt stronger and like she could take on anything while wearing the clothes she makes. She re-emphasizes how if she wears clothing made by her, she’ll be all right no matter what.

 After the sweet moment between the two, Syaoran asks the million dollar question of whether or not Akiho will take the other Alice role. Naturally, he must be curious considering all they’ve learned in the last few chapters.

 We don’t have to wait long to get our answer as the scene switches over to Akiho and Kaito’s home. Like I thought, Akiho thought about declining due to lack of acting skills, however interestingly enough she answers in exactly the same way as Sakura, claiming that she felt she would end up playing Alice anyways. Akiho, who doesn’t have magic, is also able to feel that pull of fate, and of course she feels it is odd coming from her, and she proactively claims it to be strange for her to say it at all (girl, I’ve been there and totally feel you)..

 What breaks my heart about this scene is her sad face in the next panel when she says “I don’t have that kind of power”. It is just another reminder of how she was a failure in the eyes of her family for not having magic, and Kaito appears ready to comfort her by starting to reach out, but suddenly pulls his hand back. It seems evident that there’s a lot he wants to say to her in this moment, but he doesn’t find it appropriate at that point in time. Perhaps a part of him wanted to tell her what he knows? Maybe about what he’s doing? Or maybe he’s just trying to keep his distance to avoid hurting her if he someday disappears. The only thing we know for sure is that in that moment, his heart desperately wanted to be heard, but as per usual, he stopped before treading too far. Once again, Kaito has silenced his heart and his true feelings, keeping them locked carefully inside.

 Akiho notices something is off right away, but Kaito smoothly changes the subject by stating that Akiho will not just play Alice, but become her, and this seems to be a lovely piece of foreshadowing by CLAMP. It definitely seems to imply that the climax is approaching and that something huge is going to occur during this play.

Akiho then, being the sharp girl she is, doesn’t even respond to that and insists in a gentle, but assertive way that she wants him to rest while she’s at school. It shows that even though Kaito is pretending to be fine, she can tell that something is very, very wrong, and she wants him to know how important it is to her for him to rest and take care of himself. Kaito naturally pretends to be oblivious to what she means at first, but then agrees, still playing off the situation as if nothing serious is going on at all.

 On the way out the door, Momo, being the fucking queen she is, gives the biggest death glare I have seen so far, and I’m living for it. That one glare says “You better fucking rest like she said or I will make you regret it!!!”. Hahahahaha.

 I can’t state enough how much I love how aggressively Momo cares about her family. The way Kaito smiles back though seems to imply that he has zero intention of doing any resting. And as expected, the moment he closes the door, he falls to his feet, shaking and breathing heavy. He says to himself that he can barely make his body move the way he wants anymore, which shows just how hard he had to work just to fake it in front of Akiho. Despite the clearly dangerous situation he’s falling into, he seems to disregard this again by stating that he merely needs to hold on just a little bit longer, and that the story will soon begin for what he has been wishing for. This only serves as further proof that the climax is approaching and particularly with the events of the play.

 The chapter ends here, but it seems that this chapter’s main focus was on the Alice in Clockland book. CLAMP wanted to introduce to us the idea of just how strong this book is and give some context as to how powerful the magic Kaito is trying to perform truly is. And then of course it develops more the growth of Sakura and Akiho, but also gives some hope that maybe Kaito will eventually listen to his heart soon. If such a small phrase from Akiho could almost stir him to say something, then it makes me hopeful that he is starting to break his walls just a little, or that at least maybe there’s a crack somewhere that will grow bigger with more time.

 Anyways, I can’t wait to see what happens next!!!!