#drawing with adhd is the bane of my existence

[manasurge]

Yelling @ myself to focus and finish this drawing

[pttwice]

n!d twice hc (2/3 sajimi)

to the anon who requested a nd!twice hc, i have tried my best! if there's anything else you would want to see or something else like this just send a request my way and i'll try my best :)

nd!sana (1, 2, 3)

we all know about adhd sana. she's very hyper, very cute, and very talkative. she has hyperactive adhd!

whether big or little, she is talkative and always wants to play with one of her members and usually the only one who can keep up (most of the time) is jihyo since they're both big extroverts

whether little or big sana punishes herself if she thinks she's done something bad by depriving herself of touch :( she love hugs, cuddles, and kisses and it's absolutely heartbreaking when she won't let her members touch her

sana will talk for hours if her members will sit. they don't even have to listen and she'll talk about whatever is on her mind

whenever she's having an extra hard day, especially at practice, she needs much more support to guide her through the steps and moves and momo is the best at this

the best way to get and keep sana's attention is for one of her members to hold her hand and either move it in theirs or draw patterns because it keeps her occupied and regulates her body a little while they're trying to talk to her

nd!jihyo

jihyo is autistic and for the most part is verbal. there are times though where she's non-verbal and she only communicates with the other members through pen and paper they all always carry around

jihyo is very sensitive to sudden touch. she loves touch but if it's unexpected, it can very quickly lead to a meltdown if not immediately addressed

she can be really picky with the foods she eats and hyperfixates on certain foods. for a week she'll only eat scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and the next week it'll be kimbap and some kind of soup

she absolutely hates being cold. she can deal with being hot but the second she even feels a slight breeze she will be wrapped in at least 10 layers

the person who is best able to help her during her meltdowns is mina. mina is the most calm out of all the girls and knows exactly when and how she wants to be held as well as when and what to give her to eat. she knows where jihyo keeps her stim toys and her weighted unicorn stuffy

her special interests are learning about different drinks, (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) golf, and webtoons (she reads them like it's her religion)

nd!mina (1)

mina has very bad social anxiety and it's really hard for her not to be with the other members

if she's alone, mina has to have some kind of background noise. she's so used to being with the girls that noise is a must

airports are the bane of her existence and she usually only feels safe when she's with at least one other member or in the center of them so she can feel them

she loves just sitting with the girls when they're talking and doing things because she knows there's no pressure for her to join in on the conversation if she doesn't feel like it

her favorite thing to do if she feels like she's going to have a panic attack is to bury herself under all the blankets she has. this is the only time she wants and needs peace and quiet. it lets her body reset

she has a very small social battery. she really does like hanging out with the members and traveling, but there's only so much she can handle before she has to be back in her room to recharge for a bit

[aego-philautia]

Philautia; (φιλαυτία, philautía) means "self-love". To love oneself or "regard for one's own happiness or advantage"...

Icon by @rosyrosethorns

Howdy ho! Call me Aego💜🖤

Info under the cut!

This is my sideblog to my main art account(@aegos-eros) where i will rant about things and post shit post doodles

I’m interested iiiinnnn:

Vocaloid(Like. Very much.)

Other music(I listen to a lot of different things, just ask!)

Genshin(Also very much but I’m more chill abt it now I promise)

Drawing!(And by proxy, internet/youtube drama)

Japanese Culture

Cozy Things/Videogames

Idk what else to put tbh

I like purple too, as you can see

ALSO

Two years ago my brain latched onto this guy:

and hes been bothering me ever since SO ive decided to bestow upon him my ✨greatest honor✨: A deeply traumatized wife with an unnecessarily complicated and constantly changing backstory!

Aaand I somehow managed to simp for her too like a useless bisexual, so now I'm allowing myself to be annoying about them here. If you are only here for me losing my mind about life every now and then, then their tag is: #My Loves💜❤️

❤️❤️HERES THEIR YUMESHIP CHART💜💜

My apologies, but I am uncomfortable with sharing 😔

I’ll mainly focus on him when it comes to OC x Canon but I DO have other OCs and pretty much all of them have an OC x Canon ship(not all are romantic). I’ll mention them at some point if I remember.

💜More Aego Info💜

Im some kind of ace pls don't ask i barely even know tbh BUT I do still very much like talking about/making and interacting with NSFW things, don't worry I likely won't post/reblog any but if I ever do get the urge ill make a tag for it dw.

Minors can interact with my posts, just don't follow me please, Im not comfortable with it.

I'm pretty shy tbh, pls be patient w me or else ill cry this is a threat.

Still very happy to talk to ppl and answer questions tho! Especially about my oc x canon ship or anything I make or just about anything in general!

I also have inattentive adhd as well as social anxiety, and while I am getting much better especially recently, it can still get the better of me sometimes, so I deeply apologize if it seems like I'm ignoring u or anything! I promise I'm not I'm just a bit of a mess lmao

I typically try to refrain from discourse of any kind, it annoys me/stresses me out and I usually just ignore or block, but if I get over myself enough to speak on something I’ll tag it as : tw.discourse

^adding to the above point, I do not typically check blogs that I reblog from, and I also block freely, if you don't want me to interact w u/see me interact with questionable ppl, do inform me and ill deal w it as soon as I have the energy.

About oc x canon, I am also Normal™️ about other characters, I'm just really fixated on Kazu and have been basically since he first came out. If you want to know about them, just ask!

🌸TAGGSSS🌸

#My Loves💜❤️ (Oc x Canon shipping and art/writings)

#praise the son☀️ (posts abt MY BBY BOI MY SHINING STAR THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE my cat)

#dewdels (Exactly what it says on the tin)

#i must scream (me talking about things)

#oooh shiny (reblogs of things i like)

#tw.discourse

#goatluuvsqueue!!💜💜(queue ofc!)

More tags to be added as needed!✨

That's it that's the post, go crazy aaa go stupid aaaaa~✨

[razzafrazzle]

I remember that I used to be mutuals with this mcyt fan and someone confronted them about how they're watching shitty racist and ableist people and how watching their stuff is actively giving them more money and this person's response was to just say like??? "Well you post about [insert shitty media here] so you have no room to talk. Checkmate." Like?? Bitch. Get that ad hominem bullshit out of here. You are STILL supporting racist shitheads, even IF the person pointing that out also is!!! Sure its hypocritical, but literally anyone else can tell you the same thing!! It's still a valid point and you still need to take accountability for actively supporting shitty people!!!

[beast-feast]

*shaking a bag of juice* pspsps c'mere I got something for y'all

[koroart]

For the artist ask ;)

3. Least favourite things to draw?

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what's your favourite?

Artist Asks!

3: Least favorite thing to draw?

HANDS, FEET & BACKGROUNDS *slams fist against wall* *sobs into my hands* they are the bane of my existence BUT I KNOW THEYRE IMPORTANT AND IVE BEEN TRYING TO INCORPORATE THEM MORE INTO MY ART BUT !!! *sobs some more*

23: Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favorite?

Music I do! Shows I cannot because my ADHD brain can only handle so much stimulation. Music-wise it really depends what I’m in the mood for! Thing I did find that when I listen to rock / metal or any form of that genre , I tend to focus better 🤔 my go to album is MCR’s The Black Parade — DONT JUDGE ME OK I LOVE THEM SM.

Though when I don’t feel like listening to music , I put on a podcast ! I’m a true crime podcast kinda gal so nothing like learning how someone was k!led while drawing sweet sweet romance 💖🕺🏻

[silverislander]

yknow what.  why did my elementary/jr high teachers get mad at me for shit that was like Very Clearly a sign of smth being up w my brain??

reading during class

drawing in class

drawing on homework

drawing on desks

drawing on arms/hands/my face that one time

desk so messy i could never see the inside walls and had no idea what was in it.  every year k-6

losing hoodies and pencil cases and books at least once a week

total inability to remember anything that’s not written down

“careless mistakes” on every.  single.  assignment.  to this very day

the bane of my existence: “you have so much potential, why can’t you just...”

not having a verbal filter.  just saying whatever the fuck whether it was appropriate for the time/place or not (i’m almost glad i learned to swear as late as i did lmao i would’ve been an absolute nightmare)

interrupting people because i already know how your sentence is going to end ok you’re not going fast enough for me

talking all the time... until i completely shut up because i finally realized nobody wanted to hear it

having little to no volume/speed control

constant humming.  constant

“lee is a pleasure to have in class, but she is often found daydreaming instead of focusing on her work” 🤡🤡🤡

very very obvious social difficulties

extreme emotional reactions to anything and everything (crying every single time i got made fun of, getting Very Mad at perceived injustices, having a hard time staying in my seat when i got good news)

on that note, getting frustrated to the point of tears when i couldn’t do something in class

obsessive interests (usually in a book) that i would talk about and engage in as much as was humanly possible and then some

like.  at some point someone really should’ve put two and two together and said smth to me or my parents?  that’s fucking TEXTBOOK inattentive adhd.  but no i was gifted so i was clearly normal, i’m just lazy.  and disorganized.  and forgetful.  and lazy.  and loud.  and lazy.  and all of these must be separate, personal failings, naturally, because smart kids don’t have learning disabilities!

[petalsbloomed-a]

itaru talks about noah - part 1.

1. what’s the strangest/weirdest thing mun has watched on youtube? you know those raunchy parodies of rap songs and the versions where people are quite literally screaming the lyrics of songs? yeah, he watches that stuff a lot.

2. what’s the strangest/weirdest movie the mun has watched? i don’t know if he’s watched any movies that have been known for being strange, but a lot of the horror stuff he finds can get pretty creepy at times.

3. what’s your mun do when they become sad? do they hide it or talk about it? it really depends. most of the time, i think he hides it at first and then opens up when things start to go really wrong. it’s probably because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden.

4. how long does the mun stay upset for? again, it really depends on the issue. he does struggle with really bad mental health, so it’s possible for something to weigh him down for quite a while. i think a lot of it has to do with his willingness to communicate with others.

5. what’s your opinion of the mun’s fashion sense? basic bitch. well, more basic than me, but at times he does like to mix it up a lot and put jewelry together with a top that just...don’t naturally fit. i mean, have you seen the earrings he wears to class?

6. is the mun prone to mood swings? oh, very much so. one moment he’ll be so down to write, being all bubbly and completely running his mouth about the things he likes, the next he’ll get frustrated and upset and go to watch some funny shit on youtube or listen to music to hopefully help to stabilize his mood.

7. what was the strangest thing the mun has done that made the muse confused? doing kpop dances in the middle of his school’s hallway. that’s all i’m going to say.

8. does the mun like to shitpost/make funny posts a lot? he doesn’t shitpost a ton over here, but on his anime blog, i swear, sometimes the shit that he thinks of and comes out of his mouth is so strange that it’s just funny.

9. has the mun ever scared the muse? not in any particular way that comes to my mind immediately.

10. what about the mun does the muse find annoying or bothersome? sometimes he just can’t stop talking. i can never tell if it’s because of his ADHD or if he’s just excited about something, but sometimes he just completely interrupts my peace and quiet seemingly out of nowhere.

11. do you like the backstory your mun gave you? he didn’t really give me a backstory; he adheres to what my creators did for me. but he did give my sister a pretty nice name.

12. is mun a social butterfly or a loner? he’s a pretty social person, but he does have his moments. he likes to keep his distance, even though sometimes it’s hard for him to tell when he should be less energetic or give someone their space.

13. did you once not like your mun? if so, why? i don’t think i’ve ever actively disliked noah. he can be a bit obnoxious at times, but he’s a pretty cool dude.

14. do you wish your mun was more open to those around them? in real life and on tumblr? he’s pretty open with people in real life, but who am i to criticize him or even give him advice on the matter? i struggle with being open about who i am myself, so i don’t think it’s appropriate for me to judge him.

15. does your mun draw or write? if so, what work are they most proud of? he writes a lot and he does have some experience with art, but most of his focus goes into the things he writes. it’s hard to say what he’s most proud of, because he always describes his works as ‘short, sweet, and mindless,’ but i do enjoy whatever angsty stuff he writes. he says he’s not good with angst, but sometimes when i read his angst fics i can really get the sense of some things he may be struggling with in his unconscious. some of the things he writes just roll off the tongue, and in such a beautiful manner.

16. how long does it take your mun to draw/write a piece of work? it really depends on what he’s doing. an art piece, even a small sketch, can take him up to an hour, but his fics can usually take him between thirty minutes to two hours. his short and soft fics he usually spends about half an hour on, but his longer ones, like his angst and relationship fics, he can spend up to two hours on.

17. what other social websites does your mun use? other than tumblr, he’s probably most active on his anime twitter account as well as some discord servers he’s on, but he also has a facebook, instagram, ao3, and sparingly uses deviantart, reddit, pinterest, soundcloud, twitch, quotev, and wattpad.

18. who are the first 3 people the mun thinks about when asked for blog recommendations? obviously, the mun is a bit biased, so he’s gonna first off recommend his best friend’s blog orang3lover. they post a lot of cute memes and social stuff, and they follow each other on their main blogs. here in the tumblr rpc, he’s really been enjoying writing and interacting with demontragedy’s chikage, aka my lovely boyfriend, and gloomyheart10′s banri, who is the bane of my existence but miraculously still considered to be my best friend.

19. how many people are in your mun’s close-knit circle? he has a few friend circles actually. the one he interacts with the most would probably be his friend group from high school, but he also has a lot of friends, less of a circle, that he talks with a lot and hangs out with in college. this college friend group all consists of music majors, so he feels really at home with them. he does also have a few small friend groups online, but they’re pretty sparse and don’t have as many people as his irl friend groups.

20. how does the mun feel about their blog/blogs? i get the sense that he’s really happy with the blog he’s set up here in the tumblr rpc, but he has mentioned that with his personal blogs he wants to be a bit more creative about the content that he releases. his main blog is like 99% reblogs, so he wants to think about how he can release more original content that will attract more people to his corner of the internet.

21. what ask meme does your muse like the most? i don’t think he has a specific one, but he does like to reblog a lot of fluff-based sentence starters.

[hessaime-old-out-of-use]

Update y coso.

Coso means "thing".

Hi there Tumbrl, I thought you were death but somehow this site remains kind-of alive and with the usual silent and comfy community I'm used to.

tl dr: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT! Always, I'm currently doing a project to get my degree so I'll update/upload things more so around march, hope I see you there ♥

TW/ Abuse, mental health.

I've been trough a rough couple of years (not related to pandemic and world ending tho). I ended my relationship in 2019 and had to cope with the amount of abuse I was actually put trough, if you saw/read my vent posts you can have an idea, the details are too many and too painful. 

Last year tho (2020) I put my mind into owning myself after feeling like an empty shell most of my existence, especially all the six years of my rlp where I only existed to comfort my abuser. I lost some weight (I really wanted to, worked hard af for it) and found myself again in many ways, thanks mostly to my support net and the people around me, (that filtered the toxic ones out by itself) that remained quite healthy and wholesome at this point, I ended my career (I need to finish a final project and a couple of details and it's done) and I created many healthy spaces for me. Even as that my brain is still mangled and I have some sort of ptsd, anxiety and most likely ADHD, but I cannot afford diagnosis so I'll leave it at "I'm fucked up" and keep at it as I can.

 One of the banes of my existence is the complete failure I seem to be at keeping up with social media and constructing a following, anywhere. It consumes me so much time an energy try to go against the algorithms and being seen in the hope I'll get commissioned (my current, not secure at all way of making some money) and it never works, I'm trying not to equate my value as a person or as an artist with the amount of likes and engagement I generate, and it's hard, but at this point, putting all the effort I could did not help so I might just stop trying. This just means I won't be obsessed over the insanity specifics of every social media page I own and just post whatever when I can, probably I'll post even more if I don't feel pressured. 

For now I'm working on this final project of mine to end my career and after that finishing all my commissioned work, then I'll open new spots and commission types on my social media, I need to choose because I like doing way too many things/styles and have too many projects on my head that won't let me exist if I try to keep up with all of them. Probably when I have some sort of sense of what to post and where I'll pin a guide or something, lol. 

For the one person that might find this on their feed and decide to read it, thank you so much! The support I get really kept me going and helped a lot, it made me smile when I found it really hard, so thank you thank you thank you ♥

I'll posted something like this other social media (my most abandoned social media). Around march I'll try to have some sort of organization and post/draw more things, so thank you for sticking up with me. Have a nice day today y'all!

(this is probably filled with spanglish typos, I'm sorry)

[curioscurio]

i think i might have adhd- my therapist thinks so too, based on quote unquote 'anxiety symptoms leading to exhaustion' but im afraid to go to my doctor and ask about being diagnosed/gettings meds cause i also think people will just think im trying to get meds. did you have any symptoms that stood out particularly that turned about to be tied to adhd?? or how they affected you? tysm!!! 💕

Hey! Thanks for the ask! I'm still very new to the game myself so dont take my word as law but: I'm pretty sure that if your therapist believes you have ADHD then they can write you a refferal letter to show to your doctor, who then can either perscribe you medication or refer you to a psychiatrist that will do further screenings.

Most of my generalized anxiety stems from my adhd, especially time management, organization, executive dysfunction, and inability to focus on things that dont capture my interest.

Some things I noticed that directly aligned with adhd symptoms are that I have a very very hard time keeping my room clean. It would get so bad and I would never have any motivation to clean it and didnt get much satisfaction from it. It's gotten better recently in that while on meds, I can clean my room without getting distracted by (let's say an old sketchbook) things and spending hours invested in it. And I do feel much better knowing it wont be so hard next time I have to clean it either.

I am always late. Always. My time management would make me late to everything, especially college classes since I had to self manage getting around campus!! Even things that didnt have an immediate deadline I would put off until last minute or procrastinate until I was either rushing to get it done last minuite or give up on doing it entirely.

Also: homework is the bane of my existence. I could learn so much from a class and feel like I was really getting the subject, but never completing or turning in homework would always drag my grades down. Studying was impossible for me because I would sit and draw instead of taking notes and fooling myself into thinking that it was actually helping me focus! (That's just me, some people actually do focus better when drawing while listening!)

Executive dysfunction really makes doing anything so fucking hard sometimes lol and I realized that even though this very easy task would take 5 mins to complete I would still just. Not do it and then feel bad about it. I would always have an overwhelming feeling of guilt for not doing something that was easy and would help my life out!

Another huge thing was memorization. My memory is really the worst of my adhd because I always will forget what assignments are due when and also forget just general things that are very important. It's hard to keep certain thoughts like "remember to buy eggs" "moms birthday is xx/xx/xxxx" "I have already told this story to you?" In my head. They slip away so easily!! Also things like names and key info I will forget unless you're my good friend. In order to remember something I have to write it down physically somewhere that I can keep reminding myself.

Not finishing things maaaaaay be a symptom?? But basically I have this habit of almost finishing things like projects and TV shows and laundry and stuff. A girl gets distracted lol.

Hyperfocusing is also a huge part of adhd. I would spent hours on hours reading harry potter as a kid over and over, as well as watch a bunch of sailor moon (like all the seasons) and sit and draw for hours. Now I try and guide my hyperfocusing towards priority school work, but it honestly just makes whatever catches my attention the ONLY thing I'm thinking about for sometimes days on end.

And lastly for now, something I believe is adhd is having one lyric, word, or phrase stuck in your head on repeat for hours. Yesterday I spent 2 hours with Mrs. Incredibles line from the begining of the movie where she is washing Jack Jack in the sink "We are now OFICIIALY moved in" on loop. Like as soon as the line was over it would start again in my head and just happen over and over till I forgot about it LMAOOO

I hope this was helpful!!!

[zelinkslullaby]

Hnng I feel like I should apologize yet again for being so inactive on here 😖😖😖 y'all already know The Sadness™️ is one of the banes of my existence. But so is Adhd. I'm constantly thinking about doing things and wanting to do the things but then I just- cant do them? Executive disfunction is truly my worst enemy. I can't do anything, man. And it SUCKS. Anyways- know that I am constantly wanting to write and draw my loves~ and I see your asks and intend on answering them >~< pls forgive my suckiness

[thistangledbrain]

Day 16!

“Work/school”

Well...EDS robbed me of my ability to work 3-4 years ago, but I can tell you about prior stuff.

I started off going to college right out of high school, but realized I was just burning through money, because I had no idea what to major in - I have *too many* interests, and most of them don’t really translate to a well paying job...not enough to warrant the expense of the education, anyway. If higher education wasn’t so expensive in this country, I would be one of those people who just sort of...collects degrees, though. I daydream of that often...but, thanks to my oldest son, I’m sort of vicariously gaining a bit of higher ed in Physics, one of my *favorite things evarrrrrrr* (but I trip so badly over the math, so idk if I’d ever get far, myself). He sends me pics of his notes, video clips, and when he’s home, we love to sit down while he walks me through all the equations and the processes (and when he explains them to me, it helps him get an even deeper grasp of it sometimes, so it’s good for both of us ☺️). Quantum physics/mechanics and theoretical physics are 🤯 to me, and I can’t get enough! Astrophysics is pretty damn cool, too. One of my favorite things ever is when we nerd out together on this stuff. I remember when he was in high school and first started being interested in it...I was so excited I could barely contain myself (I was already very much obsessed with these sciences), and watched with delight and excitement as his passion grew. I remember he brought home this like 10-15 question beginner physics quiz he took when he first started, that he handed to me. “Can you answer these?” he says, as he hands the paper to me. “Fuck YEAH I can!!!” So I excitedly went down the list - there was only one question I wasn’t sure about (and I think it had to do with thermodynamics but I don’t quite remember)...I just remember HE got so excited that I was already familiar with stuff (like particles and waves), and it was in that moment that we just...gained this incredible connection that still makes me feel all gooshy inside. Physics isn’t the only science that gets me excited, but I’ve written enough about that for now 🙃...

So. Yeah. Maybe someday I’ll win the lottery, go back to school, and probably just stay there LOL...

You guys have already heard me ramble about the Marines, so I’ll leave that part out...

So my work history is similar to my school history, I guess. Rather scattershot. Since I know my keenest interests won’t make me a ton of money (without a degree) or aren’t really necessarily *career* choices, I’ve been fairly comfortable with...idk. Trying things out that I wanted to do, because being rich and having “things” just doesn’t...well, I personally don’t understand the draw, and it has never been a real goal. I’m flying high if I can pay the bills on time LOL...I have to leave the rest of the financial planning to someone else, because I just...don’t...care enough. The things I care about in life *require* money (what doesn’t), but obtaining personal wealth just to have more of it/more “things” baffles me (you can do your “grind” to have your “fat stacks” - my interests lie well outside of material gain, and this is something we just won’t connect on. Your Birkin bag and sweet ride mean positively zero to me as far as how I look at you as a person...except for the fact that I think it’s bizarre for someone to spend tens of thousands on a purse or shoes, and I question their logic lmao). I’m not sure I’ll ever know what it feels like to just want to be rich, and damn near kill yourself to obtain that big house and nice cars and designer clothes or whatever. I like nice things too, but frankly I’d rather actually live my life? I’m not gonna be here long...it makes zero sense to me to break myself for the material gain of “things” (and people who do that, actually upset me a bit. I feel like they’re missing the point....or, it makes me sad to think that their existence is so empty that things like labels and status symbols are what they’re hyperfocused on, what matters the most to them). That being said, I DO enjoy the *immaterial* gains - respect, love, making animals and humans happy and whole, growing my mind, sharing my experiences and knowledge for the benefit of others. This probably sounds way too candy coated and cheesy to believe, but it’s easy to prove through my actions. This is *genuinely* what matters to me.

My first couple jobs were not my speed, but I did learn a lot about how companies run (from an administrative & bookkeeping standpoint), and that’s been sort of my “fall back on” career, since - but it makes me really, really unhappy to be stuck behind a desk, even if the work is fairly interesting or challenging. I’ve also been a horse stable manager, an exercise jockey for race horses (shattered pelvis ended that venture though), worked in an exotic pet store (I LOVE reptiles!!!!), and dabbled in nearly every trade in the construction industry (I am the quintessential “Jack of All Trades, Master of None���)...eventually landing in a position that I was very comfortable with - superintendent/jobsite manager for a smaller residential company. The job was always different from day to day, so I had little time to get bored. I guess that’s the big hangup - i don’t like being bored at my job. (I don’t like being bored, period, but rarely am...even though I live out in the middle of nowhere and don’t have gainful employment anymore. I have tons of interests involving animals, art, and building/creating, plus I love to read and learn. Or take walks through the woods and photograph tiny environments. Train and rehab dogs. Remote train and help people as far away as the UK. If I’m bored, I’m probably just being lazy.)

I’ve realized - and come to learn that many auties share this with me - that working alone or with a very small group of people is ideal. We all have our different strengths and interests, but jobs that keep our brains engaged and keeps us out of “general human traffic” are much preferred. I often wonder how many auties are also actually add/adhd, or if it’s just another facet in our prism. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s both a bane, and a boon, depending on the situation.

You’re HIGHLY likely to come across *a lot* of Auties in STEM fields...or lurking in warehouses and stockrooms, content to be left alone with their thoughts or music while they sort and pack. There are also a crapload of autistics in the creative arts - writing, music, acting, painting, and so on. You are UNLIKELY to find many auties in mundane tasks that require little thinking, long term.

One of my favorite bits from a Temple Grandin lecture was something about how over half of NASA would be gone without autistics, and back in caveman days, it wasn’t the social gabby gabbies around the campfire who were thinking up new tools and weapons - it was us antisocial weirdos off to one side whose brains *just never shut off*. 🤷🏻‍♀️ This is why I struggle to understand the people who think autism is some sort of ...horrible plight that’s descended on the human species. You’d be screwed without us, and I don’t care if that sounds arrogant, because it’s true. We might be weird and make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we do some DAMN cool shit. We just might prefer to do it in ways that don’t make sense to you. It doesn’t HAVE to make sense to you - WE don’t have to make sense to you (and we probably won’t anyway, so why do you keep trying? Try just accepting instead).

I’ve been slowly collecting links to Autie blogs, artistic works, scientific contributions, and so on. When I’m satisfied that it’s a broad cross section of who we are and what we do/contribute to society, I’ll share it...but in the meantime...

We might be more comfortable within certain parameters (like, “can I please keep the fluorescent lights off in my office”), but shoooo lawd, don’t sell us short on anything else. Just cut us loose and let us do our thang. ☺️

[aj-reblogs]

Well, there you have it. A solid week's worth of effort on my first mostly non-crappy piece of digital art. Good grief, I'm exhausted. As usual, this was done on FireAlpaca, which I still love even though it currently doubles as the bane of my existence. (Omega is SO HARD) Wondering about the actual backstory of this image? Well, that's a long story... Meaning that I mispronounced Team Dark as "Cream Dark" (heh heh, geddit?... I'll show myself out) and had the thought of "Hey, what if shenanigans happened and Cream somehow joined Team Dark?" And because the drawing process takes awhile and my ADHD brain just can't find it in itself to focus on only one or two things at a time (and I'm addicted to character development), I was able to figure out a sort of-reason of how this could work. Warning: Angst. *** (TL;DR) Once upon a time in the land of the Post-SGW Archie timeline, Cream was content to stay to the sidelines and support the Freedom Fighters. However, she couldn't deny that she felt slightly envious of these heroes as they regularly dashed off to save the world and wished that she could do her part. Flash forward a couple years, and Cream is about 10 or 11. By now, she has received some very basic combat training as the world grows even more dangerous. However, her mother and the other Freedom Fighters are still inclined to shelter her, which at this point is seriously pissing her off. But seeing no other options than to stay on the Sky Patrol and support them from afar, however ill content she felt about it. Dr. Eggman's hold on the world had steadily been growing tighter, despite the FF's varied attempts to take him down. Westside Island was no longer safe, and Vanilla had moved into the Sky Patrol at the request of both Cream and the FF. However, life on the Sky Patrol wasn't exactly fun and games either. Eggman had been finding new ways to infiltrate or short-circuit the dirigible, which Rotor and Tails both struggled to combat. To compensate for being rather short-staffed, Cream was taught how to pilot and operate the Sky Patrol (much to her delight). However, she was still only used as a stand-in in case a situation arose where one of the other Freedom Fighters weren't able to take the wheel. During a particularly vicious battle with Eggman where all the Freedom Fighters were called into the fray, Cream had the opportunity to take hold of the Sky Patrol, and with her help operating the weapons system, it looked like a victory for the FF. But Eggman had a few tricks up his sleeve. He sent a powerful virus to Nicole that temporarily short-circuited the controls in the Sky Patrol, leaving it vulnerable for a strike. And strike he did. The Sky Patrol crashed. Eggman had won this battle. Luckily, everyone had been outside of the Patrol, fighting... everyone, that is, except Cream and Vanilla. It took almost a week for Cream to wake up. She had suffered a bad concussion and had fractured a few bones, but they were assured she'd make a full recovery. It was a tragedy the same couldn't be said about her mother. After the funeral, everyone expected Cream to become depressed or withdrawn, but instead, her attitude made a complete 180°. She wanted to fight. She wanted to punish Eggman for the death of her mother. This was unforgivable. But the Freedom Fighters were frightened by this new Cream. They tried and failed to coax her into toning it down, and any talk of Eggman getting his recompense someday only irritated her more. She didn't want to wait until "someday". She wanted vengeance now. Several months passed, and sure enough, Cream did manage to calm down enough to think logically, although the thought of revenge never strayed from her mind. It also wasn't long before the FF paired up with Team Dark for a strike mission, which Cream begged to help with. As she watched this team, she grew more and more in awe with them; their fighting styles, their ruthless, to-the-point strategies... especially when she compared them to the Freedom Fighters, with whom she held the angry paradigm of a group of paranoid babysitters determined to tie her down. She became obsessed with Team Dark and dreamed of someday fighting alongside them them, or at least joining GUN- an organization which she viewed as much less restricting than the FF. About the time she turned 12, Cream had had enough; leaving an angry note next to the Sky Patrol's tea set with no promises of ever returning, she struck out on her own to the United Federation. Along the way, she had several life-threatening adventures that almost made her turn back, but she pressed on until she reached GUN's headquarters. She begged Commander Tower for any kind of job that involved actively helping take down the Eggman Empire, emphasizing her idolization of Team Dark. Tower, having been previously informed of her mother's death, took some pity on her and offered her a spot in a small aerial strike team, which she gladly accepted. She excelled rapidly, learning how to hack most electronics and moving Tower to promote her to a more serious squad. By the time she was 13, she had become one of GUN's best junior pilots and tech operators, and had significantly improved her combat prowess (although she still had a lot to learn). Finally, she felt as if she was really doing her part to take down the man who was responsible for taking away her mother. It wasn't long before she attracted the notice of Team Dark, who had requested a pilot for an upcoming mission and had been sent Cream. At first they were apprehensive of her, but her down-to-earth professionalism both surprised and impressed the team. They began requesting her assistance whenever they needed a seasoned pilot or hacker, finding her rather charming, and much more mature than they remembered. On the flip side, Cream was absolutely thrilled to be fulfilling her dream to fighting alongside her idols. Soon, she was practically one of the team, if unofficially. She is still aligned with GUN and Team Dark, though she has made amends with the FF for running away. She still continues to help fight Eggman in any way she can, alongside Cheese, her Hero Chao. *** DANG, that was long. But I wanted to give this AU justice. I dunno. Maybe it's cuz I wish Cream had a more active role in the series, maybe it's cuz I love seeing her with Team Dark, or maybe it's cuz I like angst way too much, but the point is, I could see something like this happening in the comics if SEGA would ever allow it. But who knows, maybe Cream will get a more aggressive role in the IDW comics.

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