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[sysyessential]

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[running-with-kn1ves]

Drunken Stupor

A/N: this is based off of that drunken yan gangster idea that I couldn't get out of my head. I might rewrite it or do it differently but this is 4 u my 1 gangster lovin' anon for now!

OG Yandere Gangster Drabble (nsft) w/ da Yan Gangster Ramble

TW: kidnapping, drunken yandere, noncon kissing (no nsft), threats, toxic behavior, 

Puzzles, accompanied by whatever news channel you could get through. Paint-by-number pictures, and shitty DVD’s from another time. Horribly thin sheets and an aching back--- you were completely, utterly, and seemingly irrevocably, isolated. The tight handcuffs around your feet only allowed you to hop around the house, barely making it to the front door before you tripped over the rug and nosedived into the cold, black floor. 

How long has it been? When was the last time you felt the spring wind on your face? You weren’t even allowed to open the windows, out of your captors fear of you screaming for help, even with him right next to you. He gave you countless things to keep yourself entertained, whether they be knitting grandma-like sweaters or taking up a different artistic hobby, anything that could keep you in one spot for long without the need to move or the option to hurt yourself. 

You were tempted to scream, to throw your half-finished puzzle at the wall and destroy the nice room set up for you that once belonged to the lone bachelor-- who, was much later than usual tonight. Your throat was too sore to keep up with the screaming however, and you pushed it to the back of your mind to try again tomorrow. If he came home all of a sudden and found you screaming at the ripe hour of 11 PM, he might do more than just threaten with one of his switchblades. 

You hated being around the bastard, feeling so terrified and weak like maybe today would finally be your last-- but at this point, you were going insane being by yourself for so long. Even a nice screaming match with him until your voice finally left you would more desirable than watching another 80s thriller that would haunt your dreams, alone. For someone who wasn’t home very often, he certainly had an extensive collection of old gangster movies, romcoms too even. But you couldn’t put Sixteen Candles on again without wanting to rip your eyes out-- not even one of his five million copies of The Godfather. Who needs that many copies of the same movie?

Your exhausted, beaten-down brain jolted at the sound of someone jerking at the door handle. The door practically thumped with the lock against the wall, dust raining as it was violently ripped back and forth. But then came the familiar jangle of an overloaded key ring, one you had heard most nights for what you can only assume has been the past month. 

Finally, your spiked anxiety crashed when you saw those familiar, much-too-shiny-for-a-gangster-to-be-wearing black leather shoes thump inside. You peaked your head out from your sitting position near the opened bedroom door, trying to get a glimpse without getting up and alerting him of your presence. It was inevitable for him to come to you, his kidnapee, but you tried to postpone the smothering for as long as possible. Maybe now was the time to chuck that puzzle. 

“You reallyyy gotta hold *hic* on mee…”

Mismatched footsteps trudged, stopping first to hit the corner of what you could only assume was the livingroom loveseat.

“Move outa ma way, couch! ..Even though you… treeat me *hic* badlyy..”

You heard the raking of fingernails on the couch cushions, the clink of a bottle rolling on the ground back and forth. You didn’t dare look back through the door crack. Maybe you should shut it? Lord knows what that would cause him to do, though. 

“You still gotts’a hold on me…” 

The sing-songy voice came closer, belonging to the madman you dreaded the return of. Within the crack of the door you saw a dark silhouette, the TV casting a face-shadowing glow that made you just an inch more terrified. 

“Hey, baby…” He hiccuped. 

“Well that’s new,” You started, looking away from him back to your puzzle. “When did I become your ‘baby’?” 

He moaned thoughtfully, thinking about your rhetorical question. “After you kidnapped me, I suppose?”

Maybe it was wrong to poke the beast, especially because he smelled like dirty whiskey and had three buttons too loose on his dress shirt, showing a deep scar betwixt his faint chest hair. A vulnerable image he’d never let you witness soberly. 

“Hrmmm….” He pushed his entire weight on the door, letting it creak open as he looked at you with a smile. 

“I dunno…maybe.” He laughed a little, giving a small snort like a schoolboy hearing his first nasty joke. 

You rolled your eyes. Damn, as if you weren’t on edge before, now you were going to have to deal with the equivalent of a murderous toddler who’s been threatening to hurt you ever since you were first brought here. Drunken fools were best left at the bar. 

But your icy demeanor didn’t sway his unsettingly good mood, the gangster opening the door all the way to flop onto your (unwillingly) shared bed. He dug his face into the sheets that smelled like you, looking at the back of your head that was pressed against the edge of the mattress.

“Was thinkin’ bout’cha…” He murmurs, tugging at a strand of your hair from behind. “Couldn’t stop talkin’ to the boys, ‘bout how pretty you are..” 

The short yanks at your hair to get your attention were becoming annoying, though you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of glaring face-to-face. 

“Told em’ how nice you look when yer sleepin’, when ya brush ya teeth, sayin’ that they’re not allowed to have ya....”

You hummed in response, trying to bend away to get closer to your puzzle. But you could sense the bubbling in your stomach, could feel that something was coming. Whether it’d be a bunch of slobbered kisses or your early demise, you couldn’t tell. 

“Oh really?” You asked, knowing he’d been adamant on not saying a word or letting make a peep about your existence in his gang-funded condo. 

“Yah, I did. Don’t believe me? Said i’d cut their fingers off, like boss does when some’n fucks up. I’d slam into em, make em watch while I...” 

He went quiet, and you thanked whatever made him. Whatever he said, you didn’t want to know; you’d already had enough of an unwilling look into his violent thoughts. 

“Well, doesn’t matter now, right... ‘cause now I gots’ya here. Mmph,” You hear him kick his shoes off, his face coming up to bury in your hair. “Smellin’ so good, lookin’ so nice fr’ me… wanting you so bad.” 

The sound of him inhaling you, his nose pressed to your neck as he shimmies his head deeper against you like a cat is uncomfortably warm. You feel two hands creep up, looking for your shoulders to push you back and make you more accessible. 

The gangster wasn’t normally so affectionate, so quiet and simple when he spoke. You were waiting for it to be replaced by his normal, angrily resentful behavior, the type that’d pull you by the hair to kiss you, that’d rant about the idiots he’d had to deal with for the day at you. But maybe, just maybe, you were in the clear for now?

“You’re acting weird,” You try to jerk away. “I’m not in the mood to entertain you, okay? Just, let me do my puzzle in peace. Go take a shower or something.”

He’s quick to respond, wrapping veiny arms around your shoulders and dangerously close to your neck. 

“Nuh huh, not unless yer comin’ with me, wanna show how much I loove you,” His head pops up closer to yours, the stressed crinkles under his eyes making him look older. “Cuz’ baby, you reallyy gotta hold on mee..” 

“Stop stop stop.” You couldn’t take the second-hand embarassment of listening him to try to sing again, horribly off key and far too confident in each drawn out word. “What do I have to do to stop you from singing again?”

“I can’t hold it in though. Love’s too strong for you, love.” His disheveled hair, once slicked back in an oily black, now strewn about across his forehead as it nearly covers his eyebrows. He presses his forehead towards you. “Lemme kiss. Told the boys you give the best kisses, lemme prove it..”

“Prove what-- they’re not even here!” You try to go under his arm-barricade, only to be stopped as he practically puts his full weight forward, dragging him with you each time you move. 

“Lovin’ you for so long, jusst a kiss, just one kith..” He reaches for your cheek with his lips, ignoring how you whip your head around in retaliation.

“No, no! You stink like a bar and ciggarettes, get off me.”

He grunts in frustration, biting down on his lower lip as his dark, full eyebrows furrow together. 

“Let me kiss or i’ll.. I’ll gut you like a fish, my lovely..” 

You stopped at that, looking out of the corner of your eye to his pink-tinted cheeks and strong neck that sweated at the sight of you. 

He puts a ringed knuckle to your cheek, huffing as his eyes go half-lidded. His suit was all wrinkled from rolling around on the bed, dirty with the day’s work and bar-stench as he forced you back against the end of the mattress. 

“C’mon, don’t make me say stuff like that just for a kiss…” He whined, scooting closer. “Maybe I’ll start singing again, y’knoww, if y’don’t come close.” 

“Please just… don’t hurt me.” You mumbled, trying to avoid that blank, dark look he often held that came crawling back a moment ago. You didn’t want that sober side right now; this was somehow easier to handle, even if it meant losing your dignity. 

“Don’t wanna, never will,” He hums, staring unbothered at your lips, as if he wasn’t holding you tight enough to suffocate. “S’just kiss me, need it bad..” 

You looked around, as if there was anyone else looking, trying to avoid the task that made you shiver inside. 

But you didn’t get a chance to reject the drunken gangster again, his wet lips coming against the side of your face. He poked the tip of his tongue out, flicking against your lip before going tongue-first into your surprised mouth. 

Anytime he had tried to kiss you, to do anything overtly intimate, the most he released was the silent huffs of a man too wrapped up in himself to let you hear anything of pleasure. But now, you witnessed the lewd shlops of his lips against yours, the neediness of the back of his throat, groaning to be deeper inside of you. 

One of his heavy hands cradled the back of your head, his stupor not caring (or rather, not noticing) how little you moved, how you seemed to be backing into his large palm that massaged your hair. 

“Loved’ya forever, so happy you were so stupid…” He mumbles between licks to the corner of your lip, diving back into the sticky warmth of you. “What kinda… mph, idiot, doesn’t..hugh, report to the police..?” 

With his arm once wrapped around you, the gangster takes your limp wrist to his collar, bringing it to hold his loose tie. He makes you drag him closer, guiding your slow and frowning lips in his one-sided makeout session. 

“Not’ma fault, making your life so much better now.. N’now, you’re mine.” He grins, a stupid little grin from the alcohol and delusion swarming his head as he consumes you, fingers coming to fiddle with your cotton T-shirt as he draws lines down your chest. “My sweet sunshine, all mine, forever n’ ever.” 

[ego-osbourne]

does sanguine keep any secrets from ego or is their relationship pretty transparent??? and vice versa: does ego keep secrets from sanguine?

Ohhhhh Anon, I loved making this ask. Be warned, though, it’s a long one. TW for drug and alcohol abuse and subsequent death.

~

Sanguine and Ego become pretty transparent in their relationship early-on. In fact, being able to share their secrets was the catalyst to ensuring that their relationship could work out.

Sanguine didn’t realize it at first, but after A Night To Remember he learns that Ego is the Dragonborn. Alarm bells immediately go off as he reminisces on a time two-hundred years prior, when he tried this same stunt with Martin Septim. The parallels drew themselves: Martin wasn’t a Dragonborn, but he was a Septim, and the Septim bloodline is famous for its Dragonborn characters. Ego is not a Septim but is the Dragonborn, and so has a symbolic connection to Martin. Both also have a connection to Akatosh, with Martin dedicating himself to the faith and Ego practically being a son of the Aedroth. And, of course, both of them have had some sort of connection with Sanguine.

In Sanguine’s eyes, Ego was essentially Martin reincarnated. Sam hadn’t completely gotten over Martin, even two centuries later, as seen by his dedication to the Sam Guevenne appearance that resembled Martin quite strongly. And so, this Martin 2.0 was a fantastic way for Sanguine to relive his time with an old friend. It was a way for Sanguine to give into his Daedric nature and corrupt that particularly special mortal all over again.

And yet, something lingered in his mind. A dread lingered. Because he knew better.

Sam didn’t tell Ego about his experience with Martin Septim or his intentions at first. He only passively entertained Ego for a short while, helping them with a few errands and quests after the events of A Night To Remember. He saw Ego open up to him, show their face to him, invite them on travels, and share stories that they enjoyed. And suddenly, Sam realized he wasn’t meeting with Ego to accomplish his twisted goals, but to simply be with them and their family. And that scared him, because he’d only ever done that with one other mortal: Martin.

Sanguine managed to keep his anxieties under wraps until being confronted with them when Ego (Moro) is reading up on Cyrodilic history.

Ego reads up on the Oblivion Crisis, the Hero of Kvatch, and Martin Septim. They see that he had an extensive history with Sanguine—or at least with his cult—and questioned Sam on it. Sanguine recounted Martin’s life, saying, “He was searching for knowledge that only Princes could give him. Maybe I wasn’t the best choice in terms of wisdom, but he didn’t scoff at the extra pleasantries that came with my domain. I guess I should feel lucky in that regard, that he didn’t run off to any of the other Princes. … It was the way he talked and questioned me that made me interested. Once I answered his questions, we had conversations. We laughed. We entertained each other. The sex was nice, but… just being with him was even more so. I’ve only ever gained that luxury from two people in my life: from Martin… and from you.” This manages to keep Ego reeled in enough to continue conversing, but also manages to save Sam from detailing the fallout of his relationship with Martin.

The more time Sanguine spends with Ego, the more he dreads it. Because he realizes he’s falling into the same exact pattern he did with Martin: swooning him, loving him, and committing dangerous acts with him until the point of break—an inability to keep his Daedric urges at rest long enough to keep Martin safe. Sanguine was the enabler, and he was dangerous with such a title.

He tries to have fun with Ego the same way he did with Martin. Partying and nights out are Sanguine’s specialty, and Ego immensely enjoys the revelry and feels safe with Sam. But Sanguine can’t keep his dread away for long, and confronts Ego.

He tells them the story about how and why Martin broke ties with him.

It was a night of particularly dangerous, drunken, drug-induced partying. Martin and his closest friends reveled with Sanguine in the Myriad. It was enjoyable to a point. Eventually, the group blacked out entirely, but only Martin and Sanguine would regain consciousness, finding the rest of the group to be dead but without any memories of how or when it all happened. Martin then realized how dangerous his life was becoming, and how his apathy toward safety in favor of bodily pleasure resulted in the death of his friends. Martin lashed out at Sam and broke ties with him, later dedicating his life in servitude of Akatosh before, finally, sacrificing himself and mantling the Aedroth, trading bodily pleasure for the safety of everyone in Tamriel.

And the worst part was, Sanguine could never see him again. He could never confront Martin and apologize properly. Akatosh was outside of his reach. There was nothing he could do.

Sanguine admitted to wanting to corrupt Ego at the start, like he’d done to so many other mortals. Then, how he wanted to experience Martin through Ego. And then, how he simply wanted to be with Ego, realizing that he genuinely loved them. He continues, “But, I’m smart enough to recognize the pattern. This has happened before. So, for your safety, and for the safety of your friends, I don’t think we should continue this relationship. It’d be foolish of you, and evil of me, to continue like we’ve been.”

Ego retaliates, though. They’re hurt knowing that Sam’s intentions weren’t always pure, but they also realize that he wouldn’t be intervening now if his mentality hadn’t changed. They relay this to him, saying, “You’re making an effort to execute this second chance properly. You’re making an effort to keep me safe. I think there are alternatives to doing so rather than splitting entirely. We could keep each other in check.”

Sanguine only sees this as him having accidentally roped Ego into his cult, though, and further tries to deflect. “I’ll continue being your patron. I’ll help you fend off other Princes. I don’t want to lose you, and I want to see you succeed. I’m just afraid that I’d be the first thing to ruin your success.”

It’s here that Ego tries to convince Sam that they fully believe in second chances, as seen by the collection of personalities in the Masquerade. Sam can’t quite connect with that idea, though, and so Ego tells him a story very similar to his own. “I was reckless too, you know? I’m still trying to make up for it all. Maybe I don’t have the same appeal towards sex and drugs as you do, but I’ve put others in danger all because of my pride. I’ve gotten them killed.” They recount the story of how they got their mask, before meeting anyone in the group, before taking on the name Ego. Upon learning they were Dragonborn, they and a band of Whiterun guards marched on Shearpoint in response to a dragon sighting. They didn’t realize that something else would be up there waiting for them.

Ego — who went by Akat at the time — was invigorated by their knowledge of being Dragonborn, thinking fate was on their side, and that they were practically immortal. They ignored the worries of the hunting party and charged at the strange figure (which they now know was a dragon priest), only to just barely survive the encounter by falling off the mountainside and away from danger, leaving the rest of the party to die. In a stroke of luck, they were able to knock off the priest’s mask before falling, and taking it with them. Instead of returning to the battle, Akat took the mask and fled, adopting the name Ego and hiding their identity. Later, when questions arose, they claimed that Akat was a separate person and a false Dragonborn, assumed to be killed in the battle of Shearpoint. They actively condemned their past self and continued to distance themself from Akat. They’ve only shared that secret with Erandur, Serana, Miraak, and now Sanguine.

Ego’s point is that their whole band is a group of people who’ve needed second chances, and that they’re willing to take Sam in, too. Sanguine warns them that he’s not like the rest of their group, he’s a Daedra, and that it puts him at a bigger risk factor than the rest. Ego says that his Prince title is half the reason why they’re willing to try, to show Sam’s better intentions.

They spend a long time quietly and passively debating with each other, both wanting to continue the relationship but ultimately agreeing to spend a night apart and sleep on it. They meet again the next day and agree to try it out. Ego works on instilling their trust into him, and Sam works on seeing Ego and Martin as separate people. There’s some small mistakes that persist through their early days in the relationship, but eventually it all works out, and they keep each other in check and make sure the other is comfortable with everything they do.

Past that, the two of them are pretty transparent. No big secrets are kept from each other, and they confide in each other a lot. Sanguine joins the ranks of the Masquerade and is eventually accepted by the rest of the party, seen as a trustworthy source. Things pretty much go up from there in terms of their relationship.

[blubushie]

Part 2

 Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

 What causes them to feel dread? 

 Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? 

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

What animal do they fear most? (mostly for Jesse)

Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Jesse does not since she doesn't have a specific ideal she adheres to. Mundy is very strict with his Polite, professional, plan to kill everyone mantra, but those are also rules for Sniper. Mundy isn't always polite, in fact he's blunt to the point of it being detrimental at times, and you only have to take a glance at how he views Jesse to know that "be professional" isn't something he can always help.

But he does have a plan, even for Jesse.

What causes them to feel dread?

For Jesse, it's silence. She's a complete Velcro dog and doesn't do well at all alone. There's a reason she's always talking, and it's mainly because

She’d explained more about Mikey too, mostly in passing. He’d learnt that he’d died when she was twelve from an overdose, and that her family hadn’t found out until a few days later. “Losin’ Mikey is when shit went to hell,” she’d said during one quiet night, standing in that little kitchenette and stirring a pot of pasta as Mundy had searched for his pepper mill. “Then we found out Dom and Eddie were goin’ to Vietnam the year after—three days after my birthday, man. They were dead by Christmas. Then Tommie ran away. After that it was just Ma and me, and it was quiet. And…” She’d sighed, and he’d caught the way she’d stopped stirring, just for a moment. “I don’t like the quiet.”

For Mundy, it's the opposite. Too much noise is overwhelming in general, but it's especially difficult as a hitman. Noise means he can't hear what the people around him are saying since there's too much sound and it all gets muddled together. He dislikes crowds for the same reason. They make him nervous since he can't keep his eyes on everyone all at the same time. This is the reason he always stays in the corner of rooms. It protects from him being blindsided from behind and also allows him to peoplewatch and keep an eye on the crowd in addition to clearly seeing anyone approaching him.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Jesse is incredibly embarrassed and in chapter 13 she gets flustered just by Mundy mentioning cocktails with very raunchy names. Part of this may be because of her crush on Mundy, however. When she had a crush on Jeremy she had no issue discussing him or singing his praises to Liem. Liem's told her a few things and Jesse's told him a few things. She doesn't mind discussing it, but her inexperience is a sore point for her. She only knows about chicks, since she had a girlfriend (Becca) and also hooked up with a chick at a block party when she was a teenager (and got to second base, onya sport).

Mundy has experience (and a lot of it) but generally doesn't discuss it. (This is actually something I've learnt is a general rule. Most people who get around don't talk about the details. There's a rare few like me who'll mention it, but if someone's giving an extensive run-down of what happened like it's a play-by-play, fair chance they're having a lend of you.) It's not something that makes him uncomfortable, and he's mentioned a few of his exploits to Jesse in passing, but it's not something he goes into detail about at risk of sounding like he's big-noting himself. If Jesse pried about what actually happened then he'd be more willing to indulge her with details, but in the meantime he won't regale her unless she explicitly asks him to.

His own team is a different matter. There's a bit of bloke chat about it especially with Jeremy, but Mundy is also Mundy, the bloke who gets uncomfortable just with prolonged eye contact. He's almost like a different person when he's seducing someone--much more confident--and there's a fair chance no one but Ludwig actually believes that Mundy is as successful in his efforts as he says he is, and that's only because Mundy goes to Ludwig for bimonthly tests to make sure he's in good order. He's careful at least--usually--but there's been a few times he's had to reset through RESPAWN because there's some things even our modern medicine can't fix. Spy has some suspicion that Mundy is being honest when he mentions his exploits specifically because he's not going into extensive detail about it (unlike Jeremy, who does that often and is obviously lying). Most you ever get out of Mundy is "I had a root with a chick in Rhodesia once" if it pertains to the topic at hand. He's not like Jeremy who comes in from a tucker run and yells "Guess who just got LAID!" and everyone collectively says "No you didn't" at the same time without even looking up.

TL;DR: Mundy isn't uncomfortable talking about it, but he might get a little nervous speaking about it to Jesse just because it's Jesse and he's worried about what she might think of him. Jesse is comfortable talking about it in general as long as it's about chicks (and she will skite about that) but she gets nervous if it's about guys because she doesn't have experience with them and doesn't want people to think she's a prude.

What colour do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that colour?

Mundy thinks he looks good in red. He looks excellent in red. He also looks great in muted earth tones since it compliments his tan. Jesse thinks she looks good in blue. She looks excellent in blue because it really brings out the colour of her eyes. She also thinks she looks good in yellow. She does not look good in yellow. She looks good in white though! Like Mundy, it compliments the tan (but unlike Mundy, it compliments because it contrasts).

On that note, Mundy looks terrible in blue and he knows it. The only blue he could ever wear is a really light blue to the point it's almost white. Mundy however thinks Jesse looks stunning in red, but that's less of a "she looks good in this colour" thing and more of a possessive "she looks good in my colour" thing.

What animal do they fear most?

Mundy has a resistance to native Australian toxins (yay, Australium) and some non-native Australian toxins. That said, the only venomous animal what scares him is the dandarabilla. While he's resistant to toxins, he's not immune, and he's scared that the dandarabilla's venom is potent enough to still actually kill him. He'd still fuck with one though, because he's a bushie and we're reckless and a little stupid and just Like That, but he'd be scared the entire time and do it for the adrenaline rush.

Jesse, meanwhile, just fears snakes in general. She hates them. Mundy proudly shows her a coachwhip he caught (and incredible feat, coachwhips are fast and dicks) and her skin crawls. Snakes are the only animal that freaks her out, but she thinks bats are a little creepy. Not scared of them though.

[econosurancee]

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[mystlnewsonline]

Which Cities In The US Are The Worst To Drive In?

(STL.News) Even though the US is known for its car-centric cities, extensive road networks, and supporting infrastructure, there is no denying that there are certain cities that are notoriously bad to drive in. Often a result of bad street design, traffic congestion, or even poor and substandard driving culture, treading the roads in the below mentioned cities requires extra care and focus. It's worth noting, however, that it's not merely the high instances of accidents and fatalities that make these cities so bad to drive in.  Instead, it is the poor experience overall that leads to drivers and tourists giving them such poor ratings. Boston, MA The one city on this list features all of the worst possible factors for driving, starting with high density and congestion to poor driving culture and design.  Drivers in Boston are constantly faced with a long and stressful drive, especially during peak hours, in a city that is ranked dead last (#200) when it comes to road safety. Driving in this city involves a 168% higher risk of meeting with an accident compared to the national average, and add to this constant rain and snow. You have the perfect recipe for a dreadful driving experience.  Fortunately, the city ranks low regarding fatalities, as it's hard to go even a little in excess of the posted speed limit, given the congestion. Washington, DC The national capital sets a bad example when it comes to road safety and driving experience, with a high car ownership rate, an enormous out of city traffic, and inadequate public transportation all contributing to a disastrous driving environment.  Traffic in the city is further weighed down by its diagonal street designs that intersect with the traditional grid, slowing decision-making and increasing risks. The city currently ranks just a little ahead of Boston when it comes to road safety, ranked 197th.  Drivers in Washington experience an accident every 4.8 years on average and as many as 17 challenging braking events every 1,000 miles within the city limits.  All of this makes it one of the worst cities to drive in the country, and even if not particularly unsafe, it is definitely frustrating enough to force drivers to steer clear of it. Chicago, IL No list of worst cities to drive in is ever complete without including the windy city, which, apart from featuring New York's density, a crippling public transit system, intrusive bike and pedestrian lanes, and aggressive drivers, also includes numerous one-way streets.  Beyond the rush hour, traffic in the city can come to a halt during major sports events, which take place throughout the year. According to car accident lawyers at Abels & Annes, who have years of experience representing Chicago drivers, almost anyone who spends enough time driving in the city will be faced with an accident at some point in their lives.  Such regular crashes further add to the slow moving traffic that this city is renowned for, resulting in an overall frustrating experience. Worcester, MA Located 50 miles from Boston, Worcester presents an awful driving experience for a small city that is less than 40 square miles.  The culprit here is its density, with 5,500 people staying in each square mile of the city, with high levels of car ownership, and a vast majority of its residents traveling to Boston for work or recreation every day. The city outranks Boston when it comes to the number of hard braking events, and add to that the number of rainy and snowy days, and driving in Worcester is nothing short of a nightmare.  Drivers in the city are also known to be rude and aggressive, leading to high levels of road rage and a lack of common courtesy, which tends to create more congestion. Final Words American cities offer some of the best quality of life anywhere in the world, and despite being car-centric for the most part, there are quite a few challenges that need to be addressed, especially off-late. Read the full article

[crookedbreadbanana]

wake video > hopi di nan fake dreads 60% > Nutrition is a key factior it weights on your head > marijuana that comes with it its unaffordable > so therefore most who are on alcohol chooses extensions because its expensive > with alcohol user mas karu mestei horse vitamins enz

[myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19]

NIGHTMARE

William has been living with Esca and his parents for a while now. He's 17.

***********

A normal morning in the workshop. He was at his station alone and working on something.

Then there was a sudden drop of something red on his worksheet.

He touched the thing, feeling it on his hand. It was thick and smelled like blood . Where did it come from?

He looked up at the roof. It was clean, no red. Then he checked himself to see if he was bleeding and there was nothing there.

The drop came again from unknown sources. It was starting to scare him. He slowly moved away from his desk. Slowly walking back. He stopped, his back hit someone behind him.

The person was standing firm and tall. Then he felt the drip again.

His heart filled with dread. He slowly looked up at the person's face. Scared of what he might find.

It was an old man and there was blood flowing out of every part of his face. He looked sad and in pain.

His knees gave out and he fell to the floor. His breathing hitched and his eyes grew wide.

The man reached down and held his shoulders. He was shaking and couldn't move even though the man was hurting him with his grip.

He's bloody eyes looked at his trembling ones and with full volume he screamed out.

"Killer!!!"

**************

At that moment William woke up moving backwards. Trying to get away from the bloody man. He was breathing heavily and couldn't stop himself from crying.

He was 13 years old in his dream, always 13 lately. He's 5 years older than his dream self. A mass killer at 13, he scoffed.

There's no use trying, he won't be able to sleep. This wasn't his house; he left his home weeks ago. He can't go back. He should leave this house too.

He could leave but found something that made him stay. Somehow he thinks he could make up for all the lives he took.

They were doctors and had an extensive medical library. If he can't sleep he can learn.

He made his way down the stairs to the library. Picking a book then made his way to the living room. Where he has been sitting to read for days.

He turned the lamp on and opened the medical book.

"Couldn't sleep again?" A voice said.

He looked up and saw one of the owners of the house, Dr Ling. It's weird seeing him without his large square glasses. He was in his night wear and still had his hair very messy.

William nodded.

Ling came closer and peaked to see what William was reading.

He hummed softly then turned away.

He made his way to the kitchen and was obviously taking something out. The man was terrible at self awareness. William assumed he meant to be subtle but obviously couldn't notice the noise he was making.

Later he came out with cookies. Some in his mouth and others stuffed in his pockets.

There were crumbs on the floor. William didn't think he should tell the man about them. It's not like his partner didn't know about his night raids, but they chose to not mention it.

"Midnight snack." Is what William figured he said as he walked away with a mouthful of food.

************

"Father came night raiding again." Esca said, looking at the crumbs on the counter.

"I know. I could hear him chewing in the evening." Leon replied. Sitting at the breakfast table. Ling hadn't woken up yet so it was just them, Esca and William who looked terrible.

William sat quietly staring blankly in his tea.

"Here's your breakfast." Esca slid a plate over to William.

William didn't take the plate. Esca looked over at him and noticed he wasn't really quite there. He kept looking down at his tea.

Looking at him now he looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"William, your breakfast." Esca repeated.

William wearily glanced up at Esca, who looked to be worried, then he looked down at the plate. He realized what Esca was implying and took the plate.

William nodded in thanks.

After he finished eating, which he really didn't do much of, he took his plate away and was about to wash it.

In the corner of his eye he saw someone he could have sworn it was the old man from his dreams. He turned his head but saw nothing of the sick man.

He was shaking a little but then turned back to his dishes. But in the water he saw the man staring up at him. He was speaking to him.

William jerked back falling to the floor.

The man was out of the sink now. He was pale and thin looking so close to death. But he looked like he was pleading for something.

He stayed there with sadness in his eyes looking at William asking for help.

William shut his eyes not wanting to see the old man. He couldn't bear the guilt.

"William!"

Someone was shouting his name. He felt hands gripping his arms.

"William!" They called again. It wasn't the old man. He opened his eyes and saw scared and worrying grew eyes looking at him. It was Esca.

He forgot where he was for a minute.

It still scared him and his breathing was still heavy.

Esca looked down at William. He was pale and looked like he had seen a ghost.

Before he came to him he had fallen to the ground and looked to be seeing something that wasn't there.

It took Esca a while to get his attention.

As William's eyes drifted to Esca. He still looked so terrified.

Esca pulled him in and embraced him.

"It's okay. You're okay. You're okay." Esca stroked William's hair and tried to calm him.

He was still stunned for a few seconds but then when he put his hands around Esca he really held him. Digging his face into Esca's shoulder. William let out silent sobs.

"You're okay. It's okay." Esca continued his chant.

Esca helped William to his room. He was obviously exhausted from days of staying awake and whatever he saw today.

William fell asleep. He couldn't help it, his body had had enough.

**************

He was 15 and staring down at an old sickly man on a bed wearing red, yellow patterned clothing .

William tried but he couldn't help him.

"It's alright Prince William." The old man said. His breathing was shallow and labored.

He smiled. "I've lived enough. All I want is the well being of my grandchildren………. " He paused as he began to cough.

"Please stop. That's enough." William knelt down and took the man's bony hand.

"I'll save your grandchildren."

After all, it's the least he could do. He did cause all of this.

The man smiled then his eyes closed. It's weird but William could feel his life leave his body.

"Are you sure you can do that, Prince William?" A maliciously cheerful voice said.

William turned to the voice. It belonged to a large man with short blonde hair and small oval glasses. It was his old teacher Mr Shou.

"I'll help them,"he said. William stared angrily at the man.

Shou grinned. William felt a shiver run through him. Then he pointed behind William.

"You mean them?"

William turned away from Shou and looked at the bed where the old man was sleeping.

On the bed the old man was replaced with two young children. They wore the same pattern clothing as the old man.They were a young girl and boy and they were dead.

His eyes went wide and he fell to his knees.

"I……... couldn't save them."

Shou bent to William's level.

"How could you after you already sent them to their death?" Shou whispered into William's ear.

Then he straightened himself out and walked in front of William.

He bent back to William's level. He took William's lowered head and gripped his chin. William glared at him.

"You, my young prince of life." Shou began. With that damn title too. "Are…... a killer." Shou stated so bluntly.

William broke. It's true that's what he was and he couldn't save the old man nor his grandchildren.

He could hear the old man's chant again.

"Killer."

William put his hands to his head.

"I'm ……… I'm sorry……. I'm ……. Sorry." He sobbed.

William's eyes snapped open. It was that dream again. He was sweating.

It was dark. How long has he been sleeping?

It doesn't matter. He won't be sleeping tonight anyway. He threw the covers off and began to head to the library.

"You must have tried your best." Dr Ling said from the doorway.

He's eyes landed on the doctor who was walking into his room

Ling sat down and motioned for William to sit with him.

William sat next to him.

Ling gave him a soft smile.

"William." He spoke softly. "You did your best and you tried really hard."

"I should have saved them."

Ling was taken aback. Since William came he hadn't spoken. He was starting to think the boy couldn't speak.

But Ling gathered himself.

"I've lost patients and blamed myself." Ling began. He's eyes never left William's. They were so warm and reassuring.

"Because of that I can recognize when someone tries hard to save others."

William looked away. He still felt responsible. For some reason he felt saving them could help but hundreds of people already died before them because of him.

"I don't know your past and you don't have to tell me." Ling placed his hand on William's shoulder.

He couldn't hold it and he began to cry again.

"You did your best." This time Long sounded so reassuring. William felt he could believe him. Ling pulled him close as he cried uncontrollably.

Ling's embrace was so safe and warm.

Leon was right, at the most crucial time Ling always pulls through.

That night Ling's presence helped William sleep peacefully.

**************

It was morning and William came down for breakfast.

Leon and Ling were at their table and Esca was making breakfast for everyone.

When Esca saw William he lit up. He hadn't seen him so well rested.

William walked over to Esca to help him.

He smiled "Good morning Esca. Let me help you make breakfast." William said cheerfully

Esca looked shocked. He didn't respond to William. He couldn't. If anything he didn't know what to say. He'd never really heard William speak or give such a lovely smile.

"Uh …… yes…. Uhm thank you." Esca responded, still stunned.

He turned away from William and clutched his chest.

Was his heart working? Did he forget to breathe? He tried to calm himself and when he felt he could he turned back to William. Who looked puzzled.

Leon turned to their spouse. "This is your doing?" Leon said with a proud grin.

"After we had a heart to heart I asked William to talk to Esca." Ling responded. They both know Esca has a crush on William.

Leon nodded. "Good job."

***********

@luna-rein @smellofsnoww @irathgo

@febuwhump

[ghostxofxartemis]

It’s a few days late, but here’s day 6: Pet Day for MerWeek2021 hosted by @cactuarkitty.

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard Characters: Male Shepard (Mass Effect), Kaidan Alenko, Kaidan Alenko’s Mother, Dog Additional Tags: Fluff, Pet Day, MERweek2021 Series: Part 6 of MERweek 2021 Summary:

Describe or draw a special moment with your beloved pet/s. Could be special time spent together or shared time with friends/family. Let’s have fun with our furry (or not so furry) friends :)

Shoutout to @mallaidhsomo for betaing! Thanks hon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan straddles Axel, and slowly starts kneading the knots from the younger man’s back.

“Hmmm, morning to you too.” Axel mumbles, sleep still invading his mind.

“How’d you sleep?” Kaidan asks him as he deep massages Axel’s shoulders.

“Rock solid. You know, I could get used to this.”

“Well, don’t get too used to it ‘cause I’m shipping out this morning for a month.” Kaidan’s hands trail down Axel’s back until they reach his rear and he kneads both cheeks. He smirks when the younger man closes his eyes, a content smile creeps up his face and Axel moves his hips from under him.

“I know you’re leaving, and I really don’t want you to…but… hmm…this feels good.”

Kaidan leans forward and brings his lips down just a breath’s hair away from Axel’s ear. “I’m just getting started.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Axel fills up his coffee mug and leans on the counter to take a sip as he waits for his breakfast currently in the microwave. Kaidan comes down the stairs, skipping a step each time, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. He’s going to be gone for next month and it’s something Axel dreads, being home alone, while still on the mend, and while not being able to do very much makes the time go by painfully slow. He grabs the coffee thermos on the counter, all ready to go, for his husband.

“I’m running late.” Kaidan plants a kiss on his husband’s cheek before accepting the offered thermos.

“I wonder why?” Axel gives him a coy smile. He gets a scowl in return. Kaidan starts to pull away but Axel manages to grab a handful of material from his uniform. “Hey. You’re not leaving without giving a proper kiss, are you?”

Kaidan leans in and Axel’s lips curve upwards at one side of his mouth. He makes a content sound when Kaidan’s luscious lips meet his. Kaidan presses his tongue against the other man’s lips and Axel let’s it slide between his. They part after a brief moment, breathless, foreheads pressed together. Kaidan tilts his head backwards slightly so his lips can reach Axel’s forehead and kisses it before pulling away slightly.

“I sent my mother your PT schedule.”

“K-” Axel starts to protest.

“You have to go to them.” Kaidan doesn’t look at him and his lips twitch slightly at the corners.

“Kaidan…” Axel groans.

“And I knew you were going to protest so I made sure my mother’s going to drive you to each appointment.”

Axel’s protest is a deep throaty growl.

Kaidan only smirks as he looks at him, giving him a coy look. “I love you. Be good while I’m gone.” He pecks his husband on the cheek one last time before heading out the door.

It’s going to be a lonely four weeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Plate in hand, Axel heads out on the deck to enjoy his breakfast and coffee. Just when he’s about to sit down, he hears a whimper, one of pain. He’s pretty certain it didn’t come from him. Despite feeling like a rusty piece of junk metal, he wasn’t one to complain about his injuries. He puts his coffee down on the table, and listens carefully when he hears it again. It’s coming from under the deck.

He holds his plate in one hand and the railing with the other as he takes one step at a time. When he reaches the bottom level, he takes a knee carefully and then the other, then goes down on all fours to look under the deck where he finds the owner of the whimpering noise.

“Hey buddy. You lost?”

The dog growls at him, and he chuckles.

“Not the friendly type are we? Or are we having a bad day?”

Shifting himself into a sitting position, he rips a piece of the blueberry pancake and tosses it under the deck.

“Or maybe we’re just hungry?”

Without having any experience with dogs before, he really can’t tell what could possibly be the issue with the dog at the moment. One thing he does know; it might take a while to coax it from under the deck. I’ve got time buddy, lots of time.

Axel looks away, taking a few slow bites of  his pancakes, and looks out to the ocean that’s calm in the horizon on this fine morning. When he looks back under the deck, the small piece of pancake is gone.

“It’s good uh? My husband made ‘em. Doesn’t want me on my feet too much while I’m recovering. We’re probably the same as you and I. Hurting?” He picks up a strip of bacon, biting off a big piece and tossing the rest under the deck. He watches as the dog takes tentative steps forward, sniffing the bacon and picking it up before hiding again.

“You’re gonna be like that.” Axel says as he bites into another one of his bacon strips and licks his fingers. 

The dog looks up at Axel with pleading eyes after it finishes eating the strip of bacon and Axel chuckles. He tosses another strip of bacon and another piece of his pancake before he finishes off his plate.

“I’d stick around a little more but err…Ma’s gonna be here soon to take me to PT. But er…” he grunts as he gets up to his feet, his hip protesting against the movement. “How ‘bout I get you a bowl of water. It’s going to get warm today.”

He makes his way back up the stairs and back to the kitchen when he hears the front door opening.  He pokes his head out of the kitchen and lifts a finger to warn his mother-in-law he’ll just be another a minute. Opening the cupboard doors to all the dishes, he grabs a bowl and heads to the sink to fill it up with water.

“I’m running a little behind, are you almost ready?”

“There’s a dog under the deck.”

“What?”

“Yeah, there’s a dog under the deck.”

“How did it get there?” Helena asks as she takes the bowl of water from Axel’s hands.

“I’ve no idea, but it must have been in the middle of the night because it wasn’t there yesterday, or I would have heard it. It was whimpering pretty bad. It’s not ready to come out though.”

Helena makes her way to the deck while Axel leans his back against the counter. “Sometimes it takes them a little bit to warm up to people, especially if they’ve been mistreated or dropped off somewhere.”

“Why would anyone do that?” Axel’s brows narrow in confusion. He’s never had pets other than his hamster and his fish, but he could never see himself hurting them. His hamster was able to be brought back home, but he made Kaidan promise to take care of his fish in his…no… now Kaidan’s captain quarters on the SR2. As much as he wanted to bring them back home, they just didn’t have the space to have an aquarium that size, despite having even more space in their home.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”  She purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders as if to say I don’t know and makes her way down the stairs.

It doesn’t take her long to drop off the bowl and make her way back up the stairs. “I’ll get some dog food at the store and some peanut butter while at your appointment.” She tells him as they make their way to the front door.

Axel opens the passenger door of the skycar. “Peanut butter?”

Helena chuckles as she gets in the car and starts the engine as she closes her door. Axel climbs in the passenger seat, closing the door shut. “I keep forgetting you’re new to the whole animal thing. Yes, peanut butter. Dogs love it for some reason.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Week 2.

Axel grabs a bottle of water, a spoon, a fork, the container of peanuts, and his reheated dinner outside with him. Somehow managing to juggle all items in his hands and under his armpit as he holds onto the railing going down the stairs, grumbling to himself how he can’t wait for his legs to have the stability they used to have. Soon, hopefully.

Sitting down on the grass, he puts the water bottle down and his dinner. He notices the food he put in the bowl this morning had hardly been touched. He untwists the lid to the peanut butter and scoops it up with the spoon. So far, the dog has stayed out of arm’s reach, but Axel has managed to get it to eat from the spoon in his hands the last couple of days. It’s progress. He stretches his arm out and waits for the dog to approach. The dog approaches tentatively and slowly licks the peanut butter from the spoon. “Atta boy. I don’t know if you’re a boy, but I’m going to call you that for right now. Just easier. Hope you don’t mind.”  The dog looks up at him and licks his snout. “It’s good, uh? I’m just going to put this down on the ground so I can eat as well.” Slowly, he lays the spoon on the grass.

He takes the lid off his container containing his dinner, and takes a bite.

He cracks open the lid to the water bottle and takes a good swig out of it before grabbing the dog’s bowl. He tosses the old water and pours the fresh water into and places it by the dog.

“I’ll be back tomorrow little guy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Week 3.

A victory for Axel today when he feels the bump of a cold wet nose against his hand. He doesn’t move though. He lets the dog come to him on its own terms. He’s done such extensive research in the past few weeks that he’s happy his patience is starting to pay off. It’s been a fascinating way to spend the weeks outdoors and still manage to keep his promise to his husband while avoiding any hard physical activities that he is yet to get cleared for.

He spends his day outside, only going in to get some food occasionally and to use the washroom a couple times. He makes sure to bring the peanut butter in the evening when he knows it’s his last time coming out for the day. He makes sure the dog has food and water for the night.

The process is gradual for the rest of the week. But on Friday, the dog nudges Axel’s arm with his snout and sits beside him. Tucked under his arm. Axel pets the tuft of fur on the dog’s chest, a smile forming at the corners of his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Week 4.

Axel is sitting on the bottom step of the staircase. He puts a dog treat on the grass right in front of it. He shimmies up one step.

So far, he’s managed to get the dog to trust him enough to allow him to pet it. But the evenings are getting colder and he wants to get the dog inside. There’s no way he was going to let it get stranded outside in September. He hates how the weather changes so drastically from day to night.

He places another treat on the second last bottom of the stairs and shimmies up another. He keeps doing this until he reaches the very top of the stairs.

The sound of the patio door opening makes him jump slightly.

“Axel? What are you doing? And why is there a bag of dog food on the counter?” 

He’s been so focused on the dog this last month he forgot his husband was scheduled to be home today. Shit. He wanted to make dinner to surprise Kaidan. He curses at himself for being so distracted, but answers the question.

“I found a dog under our deck. It’s really apprehensive so I’ve been just slowly coaxing it out. Trying to get him inside.”

“A dog? How long has it been there?” Kaidan sits next to Axel. He puts a hand on the younger man’s thigh and pecks his cheek.

“Found him the day you left.”

Kaidan rests his head on Axel’s shoulder. “Been doing this since I left?”

He kisses the crown of Kaidan’s head, “Yeah.”

“You sure it’s a him?”

“I saw his ballsack.”

Kaidan chuckles.

The dog pokes his head around the railing, taking the treat before retreating back behind the stairs. Slowly, it comes back for more and slowly climbs the stairs. When it reaches half way, Kaidan and Axel retreat inside the house, but keep the door open.

About an hour later the dog finally comes inside, running towards Axel, tongue lolling It’s rewarded with head scratches and a kiss on the forehead. His black floppy ears, his bright blue eyes, the white dots on his black nose, and splotches of caramel in his white fur just made him too adorable to resist not petting him.

“Kai. Can we keep him?” Axel looks up at Kaidan, puppy eyes and all.

Kaidan contemplates a moment and Axel is sure is about to refurse, “Sure. I mean you’re alone a lot, he could be excellent company for those long periods I’m gone. Did you name him?”

“Naw. I don’t know what’s a good name for a dog.”

Kaidan smirks, “Mako.”

“I feel like this is a jab at me.”

“You’ll never know.”

“It’s a jab isn’t it? Kaidan…”

Kaidan guffaws on his way out of the kitchen.

[problems-of-immortality]

[🪀] what was your muse’s childhood like? how did their upbringing affect them? (for Sahren)

Oh wow, this will be a lengthy one, still one of my favorite questions for him, so thank you! I'm going to write this with a lot of detail so even people who haven't played can understand, as the lore is very extensive and convoluted and it is some chunky sections of that lore that shapes his upbringing and his entire personality. Also a fair amount of it takes up heavy content, so check the tags before reading to make sure you are comfortable reading. Sahren grew up in Dalish culture, essentially nomadic clans that live away from human settlements because of major cultural disagreements. Most of Thedas believes that mages should be locked away because of their power, and their ability to reach their minds across the Veil when they sleep makes them susceptible to being influenced or possessed by the denizens of the Fade. The entire world and all of it's cultures have some degree of fear of mages. Dwarves don't have them, but Qunari essentially enslave their mages, the Tevinter Imperium is run by mages that are too power hungry, and humans trap theirs in tower colleges. Dalish clans don't like interacting with humans for a multitude of reasons, but the main reasons are: Dalish clans consider mages to be a risk but also necessary to lead the clan as Keeper, the clan's diplomat, the leader, and the mage healer of the clan. They are the only group besides the Imperium to give mages freedom. But because they wander Thedas with no homeland, they have to avoid humans for long periods or else risk situations where humans under the Chantry deem them to be blasphemous to the Maker and try to convert them or kill them. The Tevinter Imperium still has a slave trade, and elves make up an overwhelming majority. The Dalish in the long forgotten past used to rule all of Thedas as a magical utopia with an advanced culture of people that never died and all were mages, but for mysterious reasons the humans came along, and the Dalish believe that the fall of this nation made them lose their immortal lifespans to become mortal, and then enslaved, which caused them to lose most of the knowledge of Arlathan. (The name of their nation) Different clans take different approaches to humans, but most are wary of them. Sahren's clan had bad experiences with the Tevinter Imperium because they lived much farther north, closer to the border with Tevinter. There were skirmishes with his clan twice in his life, and both he ended up losing a loved one, to. His mother was his clan's Keeper, Thalia, and his father Athras the head ranger. It was expected when Sahren was born that he'd become her First when he developed magic, and eventually succeed her. When he was four, she gave him a large book in which he would write all of his knowledge, but he passed the age where he would develop magic without so much as creating a spark. That same day came a kid his age that Sahren grew to love dearly, came into the clan after his own was destroyed. Feladara, with auburn hair and honey gold eyes. Feladara ended up developing magic instead. Sahren really tried not to be bitter. His mother let him study longer, even though only the keepers could really study all of the lore they had. But then tragedy happened- Some bandits came along while Thalia was out with just Sahren and Feladara at 10, gathering herbs with her. She convinced Feladara to run back to camp just as she heard them nearby, but Sahren refused to go.They tried to demand that Thalia tell them where the clan was camped, but she calmly tried to diffuse the situation and convince them to go elsewhere. They call Thalia a knife ear, so Sahren runs up and kicks one of them in the shin, and ends up becoming a hostage. His mother had a different opinion than the normal views on the denizens of the Fade, because she actually understood their nature, and was friends with a Spirit of Loyalty. So she fuses with the spirit and together they fight off the bandits, killing all of them to defend her clan and her child. When she does, she goes to hug Sahren, and because she secretly taught Sahren the ways of the spirits, he isn’t afraid. But then Feladara comes back with Sahren’s father, Athras. A more superstitious person than his wife, he immediately assumed she was a typical abomination, and thought she was going to kill Sahren, so he struck her through the heart from the back with an arrow.  Sahren never forgave him for that. After her death, Athras more aggressively tried to make Sahren learn how to be an archer instead, going down his path instead of his mother’s. A retired Keeper from another clan became the new Keeper for Clan Lavellan, and Feladara became her First.  So Sahren would skip his lessons to hang out in the Keeper’s aravel with Feladara, learning whatever Feladara was learning. The new Keeper enabled it for some time, but eventually Sahren’s father found out where he was going and forbade him from entering the Keeper’s aravel, grounding him to staying in camp for a week. It was then he noticed all the stares, and the whispers. “Abomination’s child”, “he’s going to end up like her even without magic”. None of the other kids wanted to hang out with him, and Feladara was too busy with lessons. He quickly found that the rest of the clan didn’t like him, and that ended up souring his opinion of most of them. It made him a really angry teenager- When the week ended, Sahren took to hiding in the woods outside the camp instead of sleeping in camp. He refused to bunk with anyone, instead sleeping in the trees. It led to quite a few falls at first, but then it became impossible to knock him out of a tree.  Feladara found him first, and then they began to hang out together at night, talking for hours about nothing and everything- magical theories and theories about the stories that remained of the Creators, the Forgotten Ones, and the Dread Wolf. In return, Sahren teaches Feladara how to use daggers. (The elven pantheon) Sahren picked up a lot of words from these exchanges that belonged to the old language of Arlathan. He laces them in Common often, like “Ma serannas” as thanks, “Ir abelas” as I’m sorry. Learning the meaning of family names: Feladara’s simply was the old name for the herbs they gather the most (elfroot), his own name meant “One who commands respect”. His father’s meant “Half in shadow”. He picks up many more words and names during the events of the game, and when he drinks from the Well of Sorrows ( Vir’abelasan ) he sometimes speaks completely in the old language because of the voices of the elven scholars who placed their knowledge in the Well. (There’s a person who created an entire lexicon on the language to fill in the gaps that the actual games left, I reference this and the game all the time) They end up falling in love over time. Eventually, when they both turn 18 and receive their vallaslin (tattoos on their faces, right of passage for Dalish elves. It means “blood writing”) Sahren and Feladara end up confessing their love to one another and marrying each other privately in the Dalish way, by exchanging hand crafted gifts and then tying each other’s wrists together with a ribbon. When Sahren told his father, there was an uproar. Sahren assumed it was because his father was homophobic, but in reality, Athras didn’t want him to marry a mage after what happened to his wife, worried the situation would repeat itself. About a year or so later, tragedy strikes yet again. This time, slavers attack the clan because they got too close to the Tevinter border for too long. Athras gives himself up to them after some fighting so they leave the rest of the clan alone. Sahren comes to the clan, smelling blood and ash. Feladara convinces him to save his father, but in the fighting when they catch up, Feladara dies in Sahren’s arms. Sahren becomes incredibly distant and unapproachable, always sleeping alone on the outskirts of camp whether he’s hunting or not, and begins to drink alcohol often to numb his feelings. The worst part: he gets drunk in trees and high places. He never falls from the trees, though- he considers them places of safety, away from other people who see how bitter he is and avoid him anyway. Over the course of the game he gradually mellows out, makes friends, drinks less. But the game just gives him the worst luck based on his choices, and the backstory I wrote myself for him gives him reason for those choices. So he’s surprisingly open about spirits, interested in learning new lore about his own culture from Solas, even becoming friends with him, and with nearly everyone else, even Cassandra and Cullen, who are very Andrastian in their faith.

He goes from being blamed for the explosion to being praised as the Herald of Andraste, sent by the Maker Himself to save Thedas. The worst part is, he doesn’t even believe in the Maker and hates the Andrastian faith, but no matter how often he forces himself into a Dalish figure and acts deliberately blasphemous while denying that he is the Herald people still praise him as Inquisitor and later on, ask him who should lead the Chantry. He absolutely loathes the role, and the way people look at him because of it. His inner circle is full of interesting, loyal people of all races and walks of life, and somehow, despite his prickly nature he ends up befriending them all, while successfully saving the world for a time. I’m going to cut this short before it turns into an entire biography, haha!

[sysyessential]

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[docholligay]

Animation Winner and BEST SAILOR MOON ANGST

Anyway, without further ado, the winner for Animation Day of Eight Days is: 

A PLACE FURTHER THAN THE UNIVERSE

Which actually had a pretty decent margin over the second-place winner, Rose of Versailles. 

And now, the finest artisanal Angsty Sailor Moon Headcanons, FOR ENTRIES.

Pluto-It’s hard to get close to people when you know everything they will do, but nothing about how they will feel. There’s always the feeling that everything you do is kinda pointless, because you know what will happen to them and don’t know if what you do will change it, for good or bad. You can just withdraw from everyone to the gates of time and do your duty, but then you feel like you are missing chances to make other people or yourself happy. Trying to make friends with people you don’t know everything about is weird after knowing everything that will happen to everyone else, but you have to push through and hope for the best. You talked to usage about this and she suggested you get a pet, because “ they will defiantly love you if you are nice to them!”. So now it’s just you and Cheddar, that big orange idiot cat you saw in the shelter that the staff said was very loving, if he learned to trust you, in a small apartment above a laundromat. --- BeefSalad33 (Love some PLuto angst!)

Sometimes, Makoto has to take a break from having her friends drop by for dinners or snacks or anything else. She leaves her door locked, pretends she's not home, and does what she can to pretend she's normal when she has to be at school or work. It's both everybody's and no one's fault. 

 When they stay too late into the night and all pass out before skittering away one by one in the morning. When a monster attacks just as everyone's halfway through their meal, and all feel too drained to go back to a party after the fight. When someone had a tantrum and killed the buzz- often early on, not so much after a few months but never *never* happening. Those times, Mako came back to an empty apartment, messy with life, and fear, dread, anger, emptiness all flooded over her.

 She'd be that little girl again, pulled from class. Putting things in order for family to come over, not really knowing why, all by herself. Watching practical strangers, known only to her blood, go through the papers her mother carefully kept. Arguing with those strangers over if her father's weird travel keepsakes could be sold, not being able to say why except by a stomp of her foot and "It's ours! It belongs here!" She'd be that small girl, alone, tired, fumbling through things she'd half-watched her mother do when she wasn't parroting the heroes on tv.

 She'd be abandoned.

 So Mako took a week, a couple days, once it was a mere lucky hour, to wallow in it like she wouldn't let herself do anything else. She'd be that girl, for a time, and then come back to herself when the seventh knock on her door that day became a reminder: she wasn't abandoned. Her friends would come back.

 She just had to get ready for them. --- @katrani (I don’t really get into Mako--not out of dislike, just, I don’t, but this was GREAT) 

Sailor Senshi: since the beginning of time, the Senshi have always given their entire life and soul to their service. When a Senshi dies (regardless whether in battle or of old age), their soul/essence/power is absorbed into the power of that Senshi.  When the next person takes up the mantle, they are slightly stronger than the previous incarnation. Even Pluto, eternal Sentinel, has no idea how many previous versions of Pluto had previously held the post and now reside in her staff to power her.  Michiru alone has a premonition of this fate, and she is never quite sure if it is kindness or cruelty to not tell Haruka of their eventual fate. --- @amberlilly (mmmmmmmm love and find delicious when they cannot escape the moon even in death FEED ME) 

MAS, when Haruka is at her worst, determined to walk again and hurting herself in the process, spiraling, not being there for the kid she always wanted, convinced she has no life or worth without her legs and speed and 'independence,' as Michiru seriously begins to consider and draw up paperwork for a divorce, she dreams of that first battle. Michiru Wanting and Deciding that she deserves as least a companion in the hot butch who she doesn't realize she'll come to love so much. Fate would allow her this small pleasure. She remembers tipping the scales and forcing Haruka's hand with the transformation ring, sealing a fate she needn't have ever had to have. Michiru wakes up crying. She thinks maybe bc of all this it would be selfish to divorce now even though during better moments she knows it's best for M.A. But to escape the pain of watching the person she chained to her fate suffer under its weight. Well she might still be that selfish creature and leave Haruka instead of bear witness. --- @thoughtfulfangirling (This is ALMOST cheating, but this is my x2 points winner, as believe it or not, I have never connected everything that goes wrong in MaS with the idea that MIchiru manipulated Haruka into taking on the mantle of Senshi. INCREDIBLE! ACE HIGH!)

Mina understands swords. She can wield a rapier, or a broadsword, or a stone greatsword as if it is an extension of her arm. She has an instinctive feel for when to slice, when to hack, and when to stab. She weighs up her enemy's strengths and weaknesses and reaches for the correct tool without even looking. But when you are a hammer, everything becomes a nail; when you are a general, everyone becomes a sword. Mako is a claymore, heavy, unsubtle, made to do heavy damage. Michiru is a dagger, secretly fatal, poison tipped. Rei is a katana, elegant, swift, light. Ami is a rapier, precise, strategic. And Haruka. She had been unsure of Haruka, but when she saw the still body and the glowing sword above it, she knew it could never have been anything else. Haruka is a curved saber. Slicing rapidly through the enemy, always on the move. Minako knows that no matter how fond of a weapon she is, she cannot use it gently, or hesitate to break it, or leave it behind, if necessary. And Minako always knows which sword is best for any battle. And when you are a general, everyone is a sword. ---- @incorrecttact (This almost got a pass from me for not angsty until I saw the bit about Minako being fond of a weapon but having to willing to break it or leave it behind and YES) 

THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING MY PAPERWORK MORE FUN

[fallinallincurls]

walking the red carpet with shawn and he keeps you calm and has your back the entire time 🥰

thank you for the prompt/idea! i kinda changed it because i’ve been DYING to write a prince au & this worked perfectly! so just a note, my knowledge of royalty basically covers the royal family in england & whatever i’ve got from the series i’m reading right now. anyway, hope you like this little blurb! (should i write a whole prince au fic??)

The first stop of the coronation tour was in the biggest city of the kingdom. It was tradition for the tour to make its rounds throughout every city before the royal wedding and to say I was nervous was an understatement. The capital was home to millions of people and thousands of them would be out today just to catch a glimpse of the prince and I. 

My betrothed.

Shawn sat next to me, his hand in mine tightly as the car moved steadily through the streets towards the well known city. He looked incredibly handsome in his navy blue military uniform, adorned with several medals he earned in battles and representing the colors of his family. His brown curls peeked out below his golden crown while his hazel eyes remained on me as he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles soothingly. 

Over the last few weeks, I ended up falling for the prince harder than I ever thought. Shawn was born to become king, the throne being his birthright since he was the oldest child of the royal family. His younger sister was truly a stunning princess but even she knew her chance to rule would most likely never come. When Shawn finally came of age to find a bride, every young woman in the kingdom was competing for the same spot.

Except for me. 

But my name was the one picked from the few entered who were worthy enough to become his queen.

Through all the extensive royal training, balls and long court meetings, the two of us fell in love. Sharing kisses whenever we could, dancing in the moonlight in the middle of the night and eventually sneaking into each other’s room to spend the dark hours wrapped up together. When the time arrived to tour the kingdom before the highly anticipated wedding, we both felt more than ready. But the moment I woke up this morning, my stomach churned with dread. Shawn was more than excited to greet his people and show me off, but I have never been so nervous in my life. 

Shawn pressed a sweet kiss to my temple, pulling me from my thoughts. “Are you alright, my love?” He asked softly, his knee brushing against mine under the matching colored ball gown I was wearing. The simple touch sent warmth through my body and I looked up to meet his gaze.

“I’m so scared I’m going to mess something up. You were made for this right from the beginning, but I’m just a regular girl. Nobody special.” I admitted quietly and Shawn held both my hands in his when he noticed my fingers shaking.

“Hey, I love you, okay? I’m going to be right at your side the whole entire time holding your hand and so many people can’t wait to see that beautiful smile of yours. You’re my queen and theirs too. You’re so incredibly special and I’ll do everything in my power to remind you of that. We’re in this together.” Shawn said reassuringly, his eyes full of adoration as he brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear before adjusting the tiara atop my head. His crown slipped a little, still a bit too big for him, making a few of his curls flop over his forehead. A giggle escaped my lips at the adorable sight and my heart soared as Shawn flashed his breathtaking smile.

“I love you so much. This is absolutely terrifying but there’s no one else I would want to do this with.” The words fell from my lips and Shawn’s cheeks flushed pink with blush.

Without another moment of hesitation, Shawn cradled my cheeks in his large hands and closed the space between us with a tender kiss. Nothing but love coursed through my veins as I melted into the prince who I was lucky enough to call mine. My fingers went to the nape of Shawn’s neck to play with his curls while he deepened the kiss, his actions saying a million unspoken words. 

“Can’t wait to finally make you my wife.” Shawn mumbled against my lips, pure happiness radiating off of him as the car came to a stop. “Let’s go show the entire kingdom how lucky I am.”

[dawnofdaybreak]

Title: Another Cliche’ Love Story

Pairing: Jongho

Rating: NC-17

Summary: In which Minho and Jonghyun are best friends but things get complicated.

[aff link] [ao3 link]

[part one] [part two]

Part Three (Finished)

Minho isn’t quite sure how to describe the feeling he experiences when he wakes with Jonghyun’s naked body pressing back comfortably against his. The feeling is reminiscent of the feeling he gets when he scores the winning goal for a soccer game or aces a test he didn’t study for. It’s so much more self-satisfying than that though, the content emotions running through him right now are so intense, Minho’s sure he’s never experienced this before.

 He watches Jonghyun’s flawless face as he sleeps, the way his chest moves up and down with tiny breaths. Minho brushes away a few silver strands of hair that were covering the other’s forehead. Jonghyun is so beautiful and Minho’s so unbelievably happy to be able to call Jonghyun his.

 The elder male begins to stir a little, causing Minho to pull his hand back, but he doesn’t move away from Jonghyun’s warmth.

 “Were you watching me sleep?” Jonghyun asks groggily.

 Minho tries to suppress his smile. “No.”

 “Liar.”

 “Okay, you caught me.”

 Jonghyun inches closer and presses a light kiss to Minho’s chest which is heaving a bit with laughter. “Minho-yah.” Jonghyun uses his index finger to trace small circles around Minho’s left nipple which is very distracting in the brunet’s opinion. “I’m hungry.”

 Minho bursts out laughing at what Jonghyun is suggesting he do for him. “Fine hyung, I’ll make us something to eat.”

 Jonghyun smiles in triumph as Minho gets out of bed, dressing himself in a pair of discarded boxers on the floor, completely unsure if they’re his or Jonghyun’s – not like it matters anyway.  

    It doesn’t take long for Minho to maneuver himself around Jonghyun’s kitchen and prepare sandwiches for them both. When he returns to the elder’s room with said sandwiches and a glass of orange juice, Jonghyun is nowhere to be found. Minho frowns until his ears pick up on the sound of water running. He smirks as he sets the food and beverage onto Jonghyun’s small bedside table.

   The pair find themselves quenching their passion yet again, as lukewarm water cascades all around them. Jonghyun’s legs are wrapped tightly around Minho’s waist as the latter’s skin burns from the feel of the elder’s lips moving across his body.  

 “Oh God Minho.”

 Their pace is slow, languid almost, but satisfying all the same.  Minho moans out his hyung’s name as he feels that familiar twisting in his gut. He grunts as he climaxes into Jonghyun’s heat, ungracefully locking lips with the shorter male.  Jonghyun comes right after, hand curled around his own member as the water begins to run cold.

    After the intensity and shock of their first night spent together passes over, words that Minho dreaded hearing left Jonghyun’s lips.

 “We need to talk about this Minho.”

 Minho sighs, burying his face into Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Babe please, let’s not do this now.” He hopes that this conversation will be dropped, not really wanting to think about Taemin and the consequences of his and Jonghyun’s actions last night.

 “Minho-“

 The sudden sound of Minho’s ringtone cuts Jonghyun off much to Minho’s silent relief.

 “Hello.”

 “MINHO!”  It’s Kibum and Minho cringes at the volume of the other’s voice. “You were supposed to be to the airport to pick me up 20 minutes ago. Where the hell are you!?” Minho drags his hand over his face in pure exasperation. Kibum’s return to Korea was remembered up until last night. Now, all he can think about is the little whine Jonghyun makes when he pushes into his-

 “Well?! Minho, where the hell are you please tell me you’re on your way.”

 “Give me 20 more minutes please, I’ll be there.” Minho ends the call before Kibum can reply.

 “Taemin huh?”

 Minho winces at the sadness lacing Jonghyun’s tone. “No. It was Kibum. I have to go.” Minho tries to press a kiss to Jonghyun’s lips but the elder shifts his head. Minho sighs, settling for Jonghyun’s cheek instead.

 “I’ll come by later, we can talk then okay?”

 Jonghyun doesn’t respond.

        “I’m sorry Key, I went out last night and got a little drunk and woke up super late this morning.” Minho apologizes the minute he’s in speaking distance of Kibum. The other simply glares at Minho, shoving his suitcase into Minho’s hands and storms off – much like a spoiled child – to Minho’s car.

 Minho sighs, knowing that Kibum’s not usually subject to having to wait on people.

    “Seriously Kibum, I’m really sorry.” Minho apologizes for the 6th time once they’re making their way through the heart of Seoul. “Are you seriously not going to talk to me or even acknowledge my apology? Come on Bummie please…I can’t say I’m sorry enough.”

 Kibum groans at the nickname. “Fine, Minho, I know you’re just gonna keep nagging me until I forgive you so fine! You’re forgiven.”

 Minho gives a small smile of triumph, reaching with his right hand to pat Kibum’s cheek. Key swats Minho’s hand away, still looking somewhat annoyed.

 “I’m just peeved because I had some things I had to get done today before Tae’s big dance recital tonight. Now I’m falling behind on my schedule.”

 Minho’s mouth immediately relaxes. He pales. Oh shit! He totally forgot about that. His eyes lose their focus as he chastises himself. How could he forget?! Taemin’s been talking about this for months for Christ’s sake! Thousands of scouts from professional agencies would be looking for future dancers and choreographers tonight. This would be an important moment in Taemin’s future career as a dancer and it completely slipped Minho’s mind.

 “You didn’t forget did you?” Kibum looks at him with narrowed eyes.

 Minho forces himself to chuckle, looking at Kibum as if he’d just asked him something stupid. “No, of course not.”

        The performing arts center of Taemin’s school is filled to the brim as Minho and Kibum settle into their seats. Kibum complains about how far they are from the stage, frowning when Minho doesn’t agree with him. The younger man is too absorbed with his cell phone to pay attention to his surroundings – checking for mixed calls or messages from Jonghyun. He’d texted the older man earlier to let him know he wasn’t sure he’d be able to come over tonight, but there’s still no response. Minho turns his phone on silent and sinks into his seat as the lights begin to dim.

 There are about nine performances before Taemin along with his best friend Jongin, take the stage as the final act. They would be dancing to a mashup of songs, a piece Taemin choreographed himself. Minho’s seen this performance hundreds of times during Taemin’s practice sessions. However he feels a sense of pride watching his boyfriend perform the piece he’s been working on for months in front of hundreds of people.

 “Wow, they’re really doing amazing. They haven’t missed a beat.”

 Minho nods in silent agreement, watching with proud eyes as the music transitions from dubstep to a lighter less gritty sound. Minho knows the end is nearing. Instead of ending abruptly like most of the other performers tonight, Taemin and Jongin were ending their performance on a graceful note.

 Minho smiles as he watches the two men spin on the tips of their toes and then collapse onto the stage as the chillstep song comes to an end.  He knows that move was difficult for Taemin, especially since he doesn’t have the extensive history in ballet that Jongin has.

 The crowd erupts into a standing ovation, cheers and hollers echoing all around the room. Minho and Kibum stand as well, with Kibum doing enough yelling to rival everyone else in the building.

    “He’s gotta get recruited by at least 10 companies after that performance,” Kibum comments as he and Minho wait for Taemin to emerge from the dressing rooms.

 “I’m sure he will be.” Minho takes his phone out of his pocket to check the time, and then grows worried as he sees one missed call and 7 text messages from Jonghyun.

Texts from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 2 hours ago:

Hey

 are you still coming over so we can talk?

 minho? it’s getting late and I still haven’t heard from u

 …are u ignoring me?

 im sorry, we don’t have to talk about taemin if u don’t want to

 please don’t be mad at me

 im sorry

 “Are you okay?” Kibum asks as he takes in Minho’s expression.

 “I’m fine,” Minho says a little too quickly to be true. He sighs and pockets his phone. “Really, I’m fine,” he rolls his eyes at Kibum’s disbelieving look.

Taemin joins them a minute later. He’s freshly showered and all smiles as Kibum reigns down the praises.

 “Oh my God Tae that was fantastic! I’ve known you for almost eight years and I didn’t even know you could move like that!”

 Minho gives a tight lipped smile when Taemin turns to him. “You knocked them dead babe,” he says as he places a kiss on Taemin’s cheek.

 Taemin giggles in response while Minho wraps an arm around his waist.

 “Thanks guys. We’re having a small get together at Jongin’s house. You guys are coming right.”

 “Um I-“

 “Of course we are,” Kibum cuts Minho off.

 “Excuse me.”

 The three men look to the older man who addresses them.

“Are you Mr. Lee Taemin?” The man looks at Taemin.

 Taemin nods and slips out of Minho’s grasp.

 “That performance you and your colleague gave tonight was amazing. If you don’t mind, can I speak to you in private?”

 “Sure.”

    “So, you wanna head straight to the party or you wanna go home and change first?”

 Minho glances sideways at Kibum. “I think you should head to the party with Tae. I’ve got something to do first.”

 Kibum narrows his eyes. “Does this have something to do with the text messages you were reading earlier.”

Minho sighs. “No. Something just came up that I need to take care of first.”

 Taemin comes practically skipping to the pair, with a huge smile plastered on his face.

 “Good news I presume…” Kibum murmurs.

 “You guys, that man is the head of recruitment for a choreographing company and he wants me and Jongin to come and work with them!”

 “Oh my God that’s amazing Tae,” Kibum squeezes the younger man tight. “Did you already accept?”

 “No, he said to just think about it for now. Jongin and I are gonna go to his company later on this week and talk about all the details.”

 Minho ruffles Taemin’s hair. “I’m so proud of you.”

 Taemin blushes hotly. “Jongin’s bringing his car around front so we can get going.”

 Minho frowns. “About that…there’s something I have to go and do first.”

 “Oh.”

 Guilt wells up in Minho as he sees Taemin’s smile replaced with sheer disappointment.

 “I’ll be there don’t worry, I just gotta go take care of this thing. Kibum will ride with you guys.” Minho gives Taemin a kiss on the cheek for good measure, and nods to Kibum who gives him a scathing look.

 He’s barely out of earshot when Kibum mumbles, “How dodgy.”

         “Hyung, open up, it’s freezing out here.”  Minho knocks on Jonghyun’s door for the fourth time. It’s just past ten, he didn’t expect Jonghyun to go to bed so early. He grabs his phone and opens up his chat log with Jonghyun just as the older man opens the door.

 Jonghyun is dressed in only boxers with his hair dripping wet, which Minho assumes is from a recent shower.

 “Minho?” Jonghyun pulls the younger man inside and wraps his arms tightly around him. “I thought you weren’t coming I-I thought you were mad at me. I’m sorry.”

 Minho chuckles at how panicked Jonghyun sounds. He pulls away to kiss the shorter man. “It’s okay baby, I wasn’t mad.”

 “Where were you tonight?”

 “T-Tae had a dance recital…”

 “Oh.” Jonghyun gives Minho that same disappointed look Taemin gave him earlier. But then Jonghyun kisses him with such passion that Minho forgets all about Taemin. His head feels light, like he might just float away. “Let’s not talk about him. Not now at least.”

 Minho smiles as Jonghyun leads him to the couch in his living room and begins an assault on his neck.

“I missed you.”

 “I m-missed you too baby, but I ahh…can’t stay.”

 Jonghyun pouts as he untucks Minho’s dress shirt from his pants and begins unbuttoning it.

 Minho groans as Jonghyun’s lips latch onto his chest. He feels Jonghyun’s finger toying with the button on his slacks and all his resolve disappears. He’s unable to tell Jonghyun to stop now.

 “I’ve wanted to do this from last night,” Jonghyun breathes as he pulls Minho’s cock out into the warm air of his heated apartment.

 Minho lets out the most unmanly whimper as Jonghyun takes him into his mouth, teasing at first, but growing more and more firm and enthusiastic as time draws on.

 “Fuck hyung,” Minho moans as Jonghyun pumps him with his hand before taking him into his mouth again. He’s got his head tilted back, teeth digging into his lower lip as his fingers dig into the cushions.

 Jonghyun lets him out of his mouth again with an obscene pop. “You can grab onto my hair, I know you want to.”

 Minho bites his lip and grabs onto Jonghyun’s silver locks. He tugs lightly, helping guide the movements of Jonghyun’s head up and down his cock. “B-Baby, you’re s-so good,” Minho moans as Jonghyun’s tongue works wonders up and down his shaft.

 Minho’s words spur Jonghyun to suck Minho harder until the younger man becomes a whimpering mess beneath him.

 “B-Babe I-I’m gonna – f-fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Minho moans out before coming suddenly.

 He half expected Jonghyun to gag and spit it out – but when Minho sees the bobbing of Jonghyun’s adam’s apple, he looks at him with blown pupils.

 Jonghyun pulls off of Minho’s cock with a smile. “Was it good?”

 All Minho can do is nod, unable to form words just yet.

 “Good.” Jonghyun pecks Minho’s lips and pulls his underwear and pants back up for him. He sits down next to Minho and laces their fingers together. “I guess I understand if you have to leave…but can you stay with me for a bit, at least until I fall asleep?”

 Minho can’t possibly say no – not to Jonghyun.

    Minho ends up staying longer than a bit and much longer than after Jonghyun falls asleep. How could he leave with Jonghyun snuggled onto his chest and looking so damn peaceful in his embrace? Minho sighs when he hears his phone vibrate on the nightstand for what he thinks is the 10th time that night – the light from it casting a dim glow in the room. He reaches over and turns it off, before he pecks Jonghyun’s forehead and closes his eyes. He’ll just deal with everything tomorrow.

        “Where were you last night?” Taemin asks as soon as Minho lets him into his apartment. “Key hyung and I called and texted you a bunch of times and you didn’t answer anything. We were worried Minho!”

 Minho sighs. “Something came up Tae…”

 “What do you mean something came up?! Something so important that you missed the after party of one of the most important nights in my life? It couldn’t wait?”

 Minho runs a hand through his hair. “I’m not about to fight with you Taemin. Something important came up that I had to deal with. I’m sorry that it took so long and I missed the party and I’m sorry I didn’t call and let you know I was okay. M-My phone was on low battery and then it died,” Minho lies.

 Taemin sighs. “I j-just really wanted you to be there Minho. I wanted to celebrate my achievements with you. And I hardly even talked to you last night. I saw you for two seconds and then you were gone.”

 Minho feels guilt rise up in him. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

 “O-Okay.” Taemin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to Minho’s lips. Minho forces himself to kiss Taemin back – mind registering how wrong this is, considering that he just kissed Jonghyun goodbye this morning. When Taemin tries to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

 “What’s wrong?” Taemin looks at him confused.

 “Nothing baby,” Minho forces a smile. “I’m just tired.”

 “Oh.”

 Minho pretends he doesn’t hear the feeling of rejection in Taemin’s voice.

        On Thursday after his last final, Minho and a few of his soccer teammates decide to have a little scrimmage before they part ways for the break. Minho invites Jonghyun to come and watch, eager to show him how much he’s improved since the last time Jonghyun watched him play soccer.

 Jonghyun gives Minho a big wave when he arrives and Minho gives him an even bigger one back. He smiles at how cute Jonghyun looks in his oversized jacket, along with a beanie on his head.

 “Who’s that?” Jihan – one of Minho’s teammates – asks.

 “He’s a close friend of mine,” Minho says as he stares at Jonghyun with a smile.

 “He’s cute.”

 The smile disappears off of Minho’s face as he looks at Jihan. “He’s taken,” Minho says with more force than he’d intended.

 “Woah man, just saying he’s cute. Never said I wanted to date the guy.” Jihan pats him on the back. “You shouldn’t care anyway, aren’t you in a relationship with Taemin?”

 Minho groans and grits his teeth. “Let’s just start the game.”

    Minho’s team ends up beating the others 3-1 by the time it starts getting dark. He runs over to where Jonghyun’s sitting on the bleachers, clapping for him. “So Jonghyun hyung, what did you think?”

 Jonghyun smiles at him. “You were really good. You’re like a pro now,” Jonghyun says honestly. “But I must say it was hard to focus watching you run up and down the field in those shorts of yours. It was pretty sexy.”

 Minho blushes. “Oh really?”

 “Yeah.”

 Minho grins. “Let’s go back to your place.”  

    Minho takes a quick shower at Jonghyun’s apartment and borrows some of his clothes – they’re a little tight on him but he doesn’t mind that much.

 “Hey Min…which one do you like more?” Jonghyun holds up two shirts, a red plaid one, and a cream coloured one.

 Minho looks at both shirts and eyes Jonghyun. “The red one. Red is your colour hyung.”

 Jonghyun smiles softly. “Okay, red it is,” he says before taking the shirts back to his room.

 When he comes back and plops down next to Minho, Minho looks at him strangely. “Why are you asking for my opinion on clothes? You got a date?”

 Jonghyun giggles. “Maybe.”

 Minho frowns. “Don’t say things like that hyung, you’ll make me jealous.”

 The grin falls off of Jonghyun’s face. He scoots away from Minho. “It was a joke Minho, and you’re not exactly in the position to be possessive don’t you think?”

        Minho finds out on Saturday why Jonghyun had asked for his opinion on his clothes. It’s his 21st birthday and Kibum had somehow managed to plan an entire party without Minho knowing anything of it. It’s not a huge party but there are a nice number of Minho’s friends and family in attendance. The music is lively and whichever catering company Kibum hired did an amazing job. Jonghyun arrives about an hour into the party, dressed in the same plaid shirt he’d shown Minho the other night and a pair of ripped black jeans. Minho’s eyes don’t leave Jonghyun’s body the minute he spots him, even though Taemin’s body is pressed tightly against his as they dance in the middle of the living room of Kibum’s apartment.

 He watches as Jonghyun converses with Kibum and then Jinki before sitting idly in a corner and watching everything going on around him. Their eyes lock suddenly and Minho freezes. He starts gently prying Taemin’s body away from his.

 “I’m staying over at your place tonight…” Taemin whispers suggestively in Minho’s ear.

 “Y-Yeah sure,” Minho says absentmindedly before completely letting go of Taemin. “I’m gonna go say hi to Jonghyun hyung okay.” He leaves before Taemin can respond and goes over to where Jonghyun’s sitting.

 Jonghyun looks up at him with a small smile. “Happy Birthday Min.”

 Minho smiles. “Thanks hyung.” He leans down to whisper in Jonghyun’s ear, “Come with me next door, to my apartment,” he says before leaving.

    “This is the first time I’ve been in your place since I got back,” Jonghyun says as Minho closes the door behind them.

 “Yeah…Do you like it?”

 “It’s cozy,” Jonghyun says.

 Minho smiles softly and sits next to Jonghyun on the couch. He brushes a few stray strands of hair away from Jonghyun’s forehead before leaning in for a kiss.

 Jonghyun gently pushes Minho back by his chest. “Are you really going to try and kiss me, after you’ve been dancing with your boyfriend all night?” Jonghyun asks with a sense of bitterness lacing his words.

 Minho sighs. “Jjong…you know…i-it…it’s complicated.”

 Jonghyun shakes his head. “It’s not right Minho. Y-You can’t date me and him. You need to break up with him…”

 Minho looks at Jonghyun with sullen eyes.

 “O-Or stop seeing me.”

 Minho’s eyes widen. “No. I’m not going to stop seeing you Jonghyun. I just got you. I-I’ve been in love with you for years…”

 “Then you know what you need to do.”

 Minho looks away from Jonghyun and bites his lower lip. “I feel like shit because of this hyung,” he whispers, to himself almost.  

 Jonghyun’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry Minho. It’s your birthday, you should be celebrating instead of talking about this.” Jonghyun reaches out to gently comb his fingers through Minho’s hair. “I got you something.”

 Minho looks back at Jonghyun. “You did?”

 He gives him a small smile and a nod. Jonghyun passes Minho a small gift bag he’d brought with him.

 Minho takes it and can’t help the small smile that grows on his face, knowing that Jonghyun had bought him something. He opens the bag and pulls out a picture frame, encasing a drawing of his much younger self. “W-What’s this?”

 “It’s a drawing I did of you back when we were teens. I think it was then I started realizing I had feelings for you,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I kept it with me all this time but I think you should have it.”

 Minho rubs his thumb over the drawing, in awe at the amount of detail put into it. “I-It’s beautiful hyung. Thank you.”

 “I have another gift for you too…”

 Minho turns to face him and before he can ask what it is, Jonghyun’s pink plump lips are pressed softly against his. Minho closes his eyes and melts into the kiss. He rests the drawing down at his side and cups Jonghyun’s face.

 Jonghyun pulls back briefly to whisper “I love you,” against Minho’s lips before kissing him deeply.

 Minho kisses Jonghyun back just as deeply. He presses Jonghyun’s body close to his before sliding a wet tongue into Jonghyun’s warm mouth. Minho receives a low moan in response to his actions and it just spurs him on. He starts kissing Jonghyun more forcefully, trying to pour all his passion and desire for him into the kiss.

 A sudden knock on the door forces them to separate.

 Minho pulls back from Jonghyun’s lips and looks at his apartment door with a sigh. He reluctantly gets up to answer it.

 “So this is where you snuck off to,” Kibum says when Minho cracks the doorway. “Are you seriously trying to ditch your own party?”

 Minho chuckles. “I just needed a breather Bummie. I’ll be back over in a few minutes.”

 “No no no breathing time is over, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. It’s time to cut your cake.”

 Minho inwardly groans. “I’m coming over right now Kibum I promise. It can wait five more minutes.”

 “Minho. Get your ass back over to YOUR birthday party right now. And have you seen Jonghyun? Taemin said that you were gonna go and say ‘Hi’ to him before you disappeared to here.”

 “U-Uh,” Minho starts.

 Jonghyun stands and moves towards the door. “I-I’m here. I w-wanted Minho to show me his apartment,” he says, voice still sounding a bit shaky after the kiss. “I haven’t gotten any chances to visit yet.”

 Kibum’s eyes flicker from Minho to Jonghyun closely, before he smiles. “Well it’s nothing special, you can come back and check it out later” he says before pulling them both back along to his apartment. “Now come, cake time.”

    Minho doesn’t get the chance to take Jonghyun back to his apartment later, nor does he get the chance to sneak in a kiss or even a friendly dance. Once he’d gone back to the party and cut and shared out his birthday cake, Taemin latched onto him like a parasite. Minho couldn’t even go to the bathroom without the younger man waiting on him by the door. In the end when the party dwindled down, Minho settled for a quick hug with Jonghyun – but made sure to whisper in his ear that he’d see him in the upcoming week and they could continue their kiss. Jonghyun left with a slight blush on his face and after seeing that Minho made peace with the fact that he didn’t get to kiss him goodbye.

 “Minho, let’s go back to your place. Key hyung said not to worry about the mess,” Taemin says while clutching onto Minho’s arm.

 “You’re sleeping over tonight?”

 Taemin tilts his head and looks up at Minho. “I told you this…earlier.”

 “O-Oh,” Minho says. “Y-Yeah, you did. Sorry. Let’s go.”

    Minho feels awkward when he and Taemin get undressed together. Taemin takes his time, trying to be sexy. Birthday sex is obviously on his mind.

 Minho wants to tell him to stop, to put his clothes back on but he can’t bring himself to, not when Taemin looks so determined.

 It’s when Taemin gently pushes Minho onto the bed and starts straddling him that Minho realizes he can’t do this. He presses a hand to Taemin’s bare chest. “Stop…”

 Taemin looks at him confused. “What do you mean ‘stop’?”

 Minho looks away from him and sighs. “I mean stop. I don’t want to have sex. I don’t feel too up for it baby…”

 “You’ve never refused sex before?”

 Minho bites his lip. “I don’t feel well,” he lies.

 Taemin tilts his head. “I don’t understand.” He looks down at Minho’s crotch and then looks back up at him with watery eyes. “O-Oh…you’re not even hard…?”

 “It’s not you Tae,” Minho says. “It’s just I don’t feel well, I drank too much. You know alcohol makes me sleepy,” Minho lies again, knowing that he only had two cups tonight.

 “Yeah…okay, sorry,” Taemin says as he gets off of Minho’s lap. He gets under the covers and lays down with his back facing Minho.

 Minho sighs as he looks at Taemin’s back, feeling guilty.

 He turns away from him, mind overflowing with various thought before he falls asleep.

    The next morning is awkward as they eat breakfast together. Taemin does not make much eye contact with Minho.

 “…So…” Minho clears his throat. “D-Do you wanna do anything today…baby?” Minho asks.

 Taemin looks up at him and then shakes his head. “I can’t. I needa meet with Jongin to discuss some stuff about our choreography deal.”

 “Oh okay,” Minho says quietly. He sips at his orange juice.

 “I’m gonna get going,” Taemin says when he finishes eating. He puts his plate in the sink and grabs his things.

 “Okay,” Minho says. “I’ll see you later?” Minho looks up at Taemin, expecting the man to give him a kiss before he departs.

“Yeah, later,” Taemin says before leaving.

        “Oh fuck,” Jonghyun gasps as Minho strokes deep inside of him.

 Minho’s got him bent over his work desk as they’d been too impatient to move to Jonghyun’s bedroom when Minho came over.

 “A-Ah hyung…s-so tight,” Minho pants against Jonghyun’s neck. “I-I’m so close,” he groans.

 “M-Me too,” Jonghyun whimpers as he pumps his dick in tune with Minho’s thrusts.

 Minho cries out when he finally climaxes inside of Jonghyun, with the man following with his own cries not too long after.

    “Oh shit,” Jonghyun says as he gets a good look at Minho’s neck in the shower. “I marked you.”

 Minho touches the mark on his neck and then shrugs.

 Jonghyun bites his lip nervously. “I’m sorry, it’s really visible Min. I c-can cover it for you with makeup.”

 “Baby it’s fine, no need to cover it.”

 “But what about Ta-“

 “Shh, we’re not talking about him remember?” Minho gives Jonghyun a kiss on the cheek. “Now come on, let’s rinse off.”

    Minho’s never been particularly religious, finding thoughts of a higher deity rather silly. But that doesn’t stop him from celebrating Christmas with his family. The holiday itself has loss much of its true intent, rather becoming capitalism’s grand finale every year. Despite being very aware of this fact, Minho finds himself in front of his childhood home with gifts for his parents and brother tucked under his arm.

 He knocks on the front door while Taemin stands beside him.

 “Hello boys,” Minho’s mother answers the door with a smile. She pulls Minho in for a hug and smiles warmly at Taemin.

 “Taemin, it’s nice to see you again.” She’d met Taemin in Minho’s apartment early on in their relationship when she’d made an impromptu visit to surprise her son.

 “It’s nice to see you again too Mrs. Choi,” Taemin says politely.

 “Come on in boys, the Kims are already here.”

 Minho follows behind his mother visibly confused. “The Kims? They’re having Christmas dinner with us?”

 “Yes, it was a last-minute decision. Sodam just brought over their dishes.”

 Minho inwardly sighs. Jonghyun had mentioned spending Christmas with his mother and sister but Minho had no idea that their parents would decide to have dinner together. He was hoping to avoid being around both Jonghyun and Taemin again.

 “Taemin, you know Jonghyun don’t you? He’s Minho’s best friend,” Mrs. Choi says when they finally reach the dining room.  

 “We’ve met,” Taemin says. “Hey Jonghyun-hyung. Merry Christmas.”

 Jonghyun looks at Minho and Taemin standing near the doorway wearing their matching sweaters and then looks down at the table. “Merry Christmas,” he says quietly.

 Minho finds that he can look everywhere but Jonghyun’s eyes.

 “Are you boys ready to eat?” Mrs. Choi asks happily.

 They sit around the large dining table, Minho between his brother and Taemin. Jonghyun switched seats with his sister a few minutes after Minho and Taemin arrived. Minho would have to crane his neck if he wanted to catch a glimpse of him.

 Minho feels but isn’t sure if he looks visibly uncomfortable throughout the entire dinner. With his parents asking questions about his relationship with Taemin while simultaneously reminiscing over how he and Jonghyun were attached to the hip growing up, Minho doesn’t know which one is worse.  

 “So, how long have you two been dating?” Mrs. Kim asks Minho and Taemin halfway throughout the dinner.

 “O-Oh um around six months,” Minho says.

 Taemin gently kicks him under the table. “It’s been eight hyung.”

 Minho smiles sheepishly, slightly embarrassed. “Time flies. I forget sometimes.” The table takes pity on him as the elders laugh at his statement.

 “It’s too early to be forgetting dates little brother,” Minseok says. “Save that for when you’re married,” he says with a nudge to Minho’s elbow.

 Minho rolls his eyes, knowing his brother wanted to get a rise out of him.

 “What about you Jonghyun?” Minseok directs his question down the table.

 “What about me?” Jonghyun asks.

 “You’re the only single young adult at this table.” Sodam had brought her boyfriend along and Minseok’s girlfriend was also gracing the Chois with her presence. “Any girlfriend back in Japan?”

 Minho visibly stiffens.

 Jonghyun snorts. “No. I haven’t had any luck dating since I’ve been back yet either.”

 “Oh?” Minseok looks at Minho then back down at Jonghyun. “You’ve been looking?”

 “Yeah,” Jonghyun says.

 Minho’s face starts to feel hot. He knows he has no right to feel like this but Jonghyun’s words hurt.

 Minseok rests a hand on Minho’s knee and smiles knowingly. “The least you could do is play wingman for Jjongie.”

 Minho pushes his brother’s hand off and grits his teeth at him. “Stop it,” he whispers.

 “Who wants dessert?” Minho’s mom asks.

    Minho’s brother corners him outside the upstairs bathroom after everyone’s finished eating dinner.

 “So. I’ll give you a chance to come clean,” Minseok says.

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Minho says and pushes past him.

 Minseok grabs onto his arm. “I know something is going on between you and Jonghyun,” Minseok says loudly.

 “Shh!” Minho demands and pushes his brother into his old bedroom. “What the hell are you talking about hyung,” Minho says and closes the door behind them, a nervous feeling rising from the pit of his gut. “There’s nothing going on.”

 “Oh, come off it Minho,” Minseok says. “I’ve known since you were kids that you had a crush on him. Now you show up here with your boyfriend and you can’t even look Jonghyun in the eye.”

 Minho shakes his head. “That’s not true. You know nothing.”

Minseok folds his arms. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you?”

 Minho’s eyes widen. “W-What…N-No!”

 “Fuck, Minho!” Minseok says. “Does Taemin know? Wait of course he doesn’t know, he’s fucking oblivious to it all isn’t he?”

 Minho sighs heavily. “Y-You can’t say anything hyung. I’m going to tell him eventually.”

 “E-Eventually?” Minseok asks, eyes wide in disbelief. “Minho what the fuck? That’s not right. None of this is right. Y-You’re cheating.”

 “Lower your voice!” Minho shouts back at him. “I n-never meant for this to happen hyung,” he says in hushed tones. “J-Jonghyun came back home and all the feelings I thought were buried just rushed to the surface again. I don’t want to hurt him or Taemin. I promise I’m not a bad person,” Minho says as tears well in his eyes.

 His older brother sighs heavily and rests an arm on Minho’s shoulder. “D-Don’t cry. But just…you know this is wrong. And you know what you need to do to fix it.”

 Minseok pats Minho’s shoulder before exiting the bedroom.

    When Minho and Taemin are on their way back to Minho’s apartment, Taemin asks him a question.

“Is something going on between you and Jonghyun-hyung?”

 Minho’s hands grow rigid on the steering wheel. “W-What do you mean?” He asks nervously.

 “I heard your hyung ask you that.”

 “Oh? O-Oh…Um there’s nothing going on,” Minho rambles. “Hyung was just wondering why we weren’t talking much at dinner,” Minho lies.

 The car grows quiet. Minho slowly relaxes his grip on the steering wheel.

 “D-Did you hear anything else?” He asks softly.

 “Oh no. That’s all I heard,” Taemin quickly replies.

 “Okay.”

 “Jonghyun-hyung is straight right?” the younger man asks. “You said he was dating a girl when you guys were younger?”

 “…H-He’s,” Minho doesn’t really know. “I don’t t-think he has a preference. He’s mostly dated girls but he’s dated guys too…”

 Taemin hums and turns to look out of the window.

 “Why are you asking?”

 “Oh no reason. I was thinking of setting him up with one of my friends. Her name is Soojung and she’s really pretty.”

 “Oh,” Minho says. He’s seen pictures of Soojung before. She is indeed pretty. “Y-You think they’d b-be a good match?” Minho prays to that deity he barely believes in that Taemin doesn’t notice the quiver in his voice.

 Taemin shrugs. “I think they’d be a great match. They’d look really good together. But you do know him better, so I figured you’d have an idea.”

 Minho shakes his head, not liking the thought of that at all. “I don’t think she’s what hyung is looking for right now,” he says a bit firmer than necessary.

 Taemin stares at him for a few seconds and then looks back out the window. “Well, it was only a suggestion.”

    “What are you doing here?” Jonghyun asks as Minho stands on his doorstep two days later.

 Minho frowns at him. “Is something wrong? I tried to call you and you didn’t answer.”

 Jonghyun steps aside and lets him into the apartment. “Oh no, nothing’s wrong. Not thinking about the play by play I got of you and Taemin’s relationship the other day.” He shuts the door behind Minho louder than necessary.

 Minho sighs. “H-Hyung…you know…it’s-“

 “Complicated?” Jonghyun asks. “How long is it going to be complicated Minho?”

 “Hyung…”

 Jonghyun rubs his hand over his face in exasperation. “Why are you here Minho?”

 Minho bites his lip. “I…I got you a present.”

 “O-Oh,” Jonghyun says quietly. “I d-didn’t get you anything…”

 Minho hands him the small box with a smile. “That’s okay. We’ve never really celebrated Christmas. Besides your birthday present was enough.”

 “What is it?” The blonde asks curiously.

 “Open it and see.”

 Jonghyun unties the pink bow on the box and discards the wrapping. He opens it to find a small silver ring – not small enough to fit on his ring finger, but rather appearing to be the width of his thumb.

 “Is this a thumb ring?” Jonghun inquires.

 Minho raises his hand to show a matching one. “Yeah.”

 Jonghyun’s mouth falls open in surprise. “M-Minho, I…I can’t wear this. Not if you’re wearing one too. It’s too obvious.”

 Minho shakes his head. “No, these are really popular right now. People won’t notice it hyung. Besides, don’t you like it?”

 “O-Of course I do.” Jonghyun slides the ring onto his thumb. “P-Perfect fit…”

 “I thought it would be,” Minho says.

 Jonghyun looks up at him with a wobbly smile. “T-Thank you Minho.” He gets on his tippy toes and presses a kiss to Minho’s lips.

 Minho kisses him back deeply. “I love you,” he whispers against Jonghyun’s lips.

 “I love you too,” Jonghyun replies after a slight pause.

 Minho pulls Jonghyun into a tight hug. “I-I’m sorry hyung. Sorry that I haven’t addressed everything yet. I p-promise I will, soon.”

 Minho feels Jonghyun sigh against his neck. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep Minho.”

 Minho pulls back, looking slightly offended. “I will keep this promise hyung. I l-lo-“

 Jonghyun shuts him up with a harsh kiss, teeth digging into Minho’s lip. Minho yelps in surprise but quickly recovers, kissing Jonghyun back just as passionately. He wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s tiny waist and lifts him up against the wall.  Minho begins kissing Jonghyun’s neck, working on the spots he knows the other likes. The shorter man cries out as Minho leaves light marks along his collarbone. Minho carries Jonghyun to his bedroom and deposits him onto the bed, pulling off the elder’s shirt as soon as his back touches the mattress.

 He pulls his own shirt over his head when a firm hand touches his chest.

 “Can we just cuddle tonight,” Jonghyun says quietly, unable to make eye contact.

 Minho pulls his shirt back on. “O-Of course baby. Of course. Do you want to be held?”

Jonghyun nods, pulling his own shirt back on and shifting onto his side.

 Minho spoons him from behind, watching as the man twists the ring around his thumb but says nothing.

       New Years Eve finds them at Jinki’s restaurant, sitting around a table filled with various dishes and lots of beer.

 Kibum’s a bit tipsy, his tolerance for beer being very low. Minho rolls his eyes as Kibum entertains the group with his forced acts of cuteness – committed all out of spite because he knows Minho hates it. Taemin records key with an amused smile on his face. He had plopped down, right next to Jonghyun when they’d arrived, forcing Minho to sit to the left of him.

 “This will be perfect blackmail material,” Taemin says with a wicked grin as he finishes recording.

 Those words seem to sober Kibum up. “You wouldn’t dare! I have a public image.”

 Taemin laughs at him. “Just be a good hyung and you’ll have nothing to worry about.”

   “Any goals for the new year?” Jinki asks at quarter to twelve.

 Kibum mumbles something about settling down, Taemin says he wants to work with foreign choreographers and Jonghyun plans to register more than ten songs.

 Minho remains silent as the conversation quickly shifts to something else. He has no idea what the new year has in store for him especially with such a dark secret looming above his head.

 “So Jonghyun-hyung,” Taemin says. “Are you still looking to date someone?”

 Minho snaps out of his self-reflection.

 “Oh um…kinda?” Jonghyun replies.

 “Kinda?” Kibum chimes in. “Have you gotten laid since you moved back home?”

 Jonghyun visibly squirms.

 “Bum!” Minho shouts. “Don’t you think that’s a little personal.”

 “What? We’re all friends here. We’re always talking about each other’s sex lives.”

 Minho frowns. Kibum’s the one that does most of the talking in those conversations.

 “Anyway,” Taemin practically shoves his phone in Jonghyun’s face. “This is my friend Soojung, she’s super nice and is into music too. I thought you two would be a good match.”

 “O-Oh really?” Jonghyun nervously glances at Minho.

 “Yeah. I could give her your number if you’d like. I think you’ll hit it off really well. She gives off a cold vibe at first but she’s really down to earth.”

 Jonghyun stammers, “O-Oh um…”

 Minho grits his teeth. “Tae…don’t you think you’re putting a bit of pressure on Jjong right now? He’s never even met her.”

 Taemin looks back at Minho. “Jonghyun can answer for himself. Besides most people text before meeting each other these days anyway.” Taemin turns back to Jonghyun. “What do you say?”

 Minho’s eyes burn at the back of Taemin’s head.

 “Um sure,” Jonghyun relents. “You can give her my number.”

 “Great. I think you’ll really hit it off, oh um,” Taemin looks down at Jonghyun’s hand. “Nice thumb ring.”

 Jonghyun touches it instinctively. “Oh yeah thanks.”

 “It looks just like the one Minho started wearing recently.”

 Kibum perks up. “Lemme see.” He grabs Jonghyun’s hand and examines the ring. He looks back to Minho’s to compare but Minho’s fingers are bare.

 “I’m not wearing my ring,” Minho says.

 “But I have a picture,” Taemin adds in. He hands his phone to Kibum.

 Kibum glances at the ring on Minho’s thumb in the photo and the one on Jonghyun’s actual thumb. “They look pretty identical to me.”

 “O-Oh,” Jonghyun chuckles nervously. “What a coincidence.”

 Taemin narrows his eyes. “Yeah…a coincidence. Where’d you get yours Jonghyun-hyung?”

 “Huh?” Jonghyun looks up at Minho as if he’s asking for help.

 “Where’d you buy the ring?” Taemin rewords his question.

 “Oh, I have no idea. My sister bought it for me. It was a gift,” he lies with a chuckle.

 “Hmm,” Taemin hums and looks back at his photo of Minho.

       Minho doesn’t share a new year’s kiss with Taemin or Jonghyun that night.

       Minho knows what he’s doing is selfish. Cheating is something he always frowned upon, hating when it was a plot point in a movie and shunning the topic whenever his friends brought it up. But now that he’s in this current predicament, he finds himself actually understanding why people do it.

 It’s not right.

 But is it wrong?

 He loves Jonghyun with his entire being. But at some point, in his and Taemin’s now eight-month long relationship, he was sure that he was love with him too. He doesn’t want to hurt the younger man’s feelings.

 He finds himself unable to do anything while Taemin and Jonghyun both begin pulling away from him. It’s as if there’s rope attached to both of his hands. But instead of being pulled in either direction he remains set in place while Jonghyun and Taemin pull farther and farther away.

       It all comes to a head in the new year.

 Kibum confronts him in his apartment early February – much like he’d done when Minho had forgotten his and Taemin’s six-month anniversary.  

 “I know what you’re doing Minho,” Kibum says, sounding very much like he knows something that Minho doesn’t.

 Minho looks visibly perturbed. “What are you talking about Kibum?”

 “I know you’ve been cheating on Taemin.”

 “W-What?” Minho says all too quickly. “That’s not true.”

“Oh? So you haven’t been sneaking around with Jonghyun behind Taemin’s back?”

 Minho opens his mouth and then closes it sharply. “…J-Jonghyun is my best friend Kibum. I can’t spend time with him now?”

 “Oh please,” Kibum says. “Taemin told me you haven’t touched him in weeks. He’s seen the marks you know.”

 “I don’t have any marks.”

 “Yeah cause now Jonghyun’s caught a clue and has stopped fooling around with you too.”

 Minho’s anger flares at the harsh truth behind that statement. “You need to leave,” Minho says, his tone matching the chill of the air outside.

 Kibum heads towards the door. “Just for the record, we’re not friends anymore. I’m not going to be friends with a cheater! You broke Taemin’s heart Minho and I’ll never forgive you for that!” He slams the door as he exits.

 Minho stares at the door for what feels like hours after Kibum leaves.

    Hours later he finds himself at Orgel, in desperate need to see Jonghyun. The older man had ignored his texts and calls and when Minho had pulled up to his apartment complex, Jonghyun’s car was nowhere to be seen. The club was the only place Minho figured he would be.

 But Jonghyun isn’t alone.

 Minho watches as the man walks off the stage after his set and heads to a small table in front where a pretty blond claps enthusiastically for him.

 Minho feels his heart crumble in his chest, the sight far too similar of an experience he’d repressed from his teenage years.

 Before he can stop himself, he’s already crossed over to the table with fire in his eyes.

 To say Jonghyun is startled to see him would be an understatement. The older man’s eyes practically bulge out of his sockets. “M-Minho, w-what are you doing here?”

 “W-Who is she?” Minho asks bluntly.

 Jonghyun looks at the girl apologetically, before grabbing Minho’s arm roughly and tugging him outside.

 “What are you doing here Minho?” He asks in hushed tones.

 A group of bystanders look at them suspiciously. Minho doesn’t care.

 “Who’s the girl hyung?! Why’s she looking at you like that?”

 Jonghyun looks away from him with guilt etched on his face.

 “H-Hyung. Who is she?”

 “She’s my date!” Jonghyun says. “And now she probably won’t go out with me again because you were so rude in there.”

 Minho’s so focused on the word date that it takes him a few extra seconds to process the remainder of what Jonghyun had said.

 “Hyung…w-what do you mean she’s your date?! G-Go out with you again? W-What about us?”

 Jonghyun sighs heavily. “M-Minho. There’s no us! There can’t be a us! I can’t just be your side piece, your mistress. And Taemin deserves better. You know that.”

 Minho feels his heart deflate in his chest. “S-So w-what? You’re giving up on me? Are you going to act like it’s all my fault! Like I was cheating on Taemin by myself?!” He says angrily.

 Jonghyun looks visibly hurt by his words. “I will not be complicit in that anymore. I-I’m done Minho. I don’t feel good about myself knowing I’m ruining someone else’s relationship.”

 “I-It’s not a relationship anymore. T-Taemin…h-he knows.”

 Jonghyun raises an eyebrow. “He knows?”

 “Y-Yeah. He knows…It’s not a thing anymore.”

 “So, you came clean to him? You told him everything?”

 Minho doesn’t answer.

 Jonghyun scoffs. “…I…I can’t do this anymore Minho. Even if you had ended things with Taemin, I would’ve still felt like shit about it. I c-can’t have that on my conscience more than it already is. I-I’m going back to Taeyeon. At the very least, I deserve someone that’ll be with just me.” He wipes away the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes before heading back into the club.

    Minho feels numb as his car drives him home. Cause surely, he isn’t driving, not when he feels like his heart’s been stepped on and his mind is playing a loop of Jonghyun’s retreating form. He makes the short trek from the parking lot to his apartment building and gets in the elevator. It takes severe willpower to not knock on Kibum’s door and go to him for comfort like he’s done so many times in the past. Instead he opens the door to his apartment and sees Taemin sitting on his couch.

 “Hey,” Taemin says.

 Minho wipes his hand over his face, trying to remove evidence of tear tracks and heartache.

 “W-What are you doing here Tae. How’d you get in?”

 Taemin shakes his head with a mirthless laugh. “You gave me a key, awhile ago.”

 Minho crosses over to the kitchen to pour himself a much-needed drink. “Oh…yeah right.” He takes a swig of the amber liquid, feeling uncomfortable as the silence grows thick between them.  

 “So-“ Taemin starts.

 “I-I’ve been cheating on you with Jonghyun,” Minho blurts in one breath.

 Taemin closes his mouth.

 He doesn’t know what he expects from Taemin. Shock? Sadness? Anger? Rather, Taemin looks as if he knows.

 “I know,” Taemin says after a few minutes. “I’ve known since Christmas.”

 Minho rests down his glass. “…Oh.”

 “I eavesdropped on you and your hyung’s conversation. So, yeah I knew.”

 “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 “I wanted to pretend like it wasn’t true. But then it became too apparent to ignore. The way you’d disappear for hours on end, refuse to have sex with me, the marks I didn’t give you, the matching thumb rings,” Taemin scoffs. “Your face would light up every time you saw Jonghyun. It was obvious from the beginning that something was going on between you two and I didn’t want to believe it.”

 Minho fidgets uncomfortably. “…Why tell me this now?”

 “Because Jonghyun told me everything. Said he felt like such a huge asshole for getting between you and me.”

 Minho swallows. No wonder Jonghyun knew he was lying when he said his relationship with Taemin was no more. “Are you upset with him? Please don’t be it’s not his fault.”

 Taemin laughs. “Fuck, I just admitted that I know you’ve been cheating on me and still your only concern is Jonghyun. Wow Minho. I didn’t have a chance, did I?”

 Minho frowns.

 “The moment Jonghyun moved back here. I-It was all over for us wasn’t it?”

 Minho can’t bring himself to answer that question. “I…I didn’t want to hurt you Taemin. I-“

 “Bullshit. Don’t you think getting cheated on would hurt me more than you just being fucking upfront with me from the beginning?” Taemin asks. “You’re a selfish asshole. You only cared about what you wanted. You didn’t give a shit about my feelings and you got Jonghyun in the middle of it too. And you did hurt me, no matter how much you claim you didn’t want to, you hurt me. You hurt me so fucking much.”

 “T-Tae I-I…”

 “And I don’t think anything you say can erase that hurt.”

 Minho swallows heavily, feeling like anything he says won’t have an effect. “I-I’m sorry,” he offers weakly.

 Taemin shakes his head before exiting the apartment with a duffel bag filled with presumably his things.

 Minho downs the rest of his alcohol and sinks to the floor.

       Minho finds himself sinking into something akin to depression. He still manages to go to his classes, to put on his usually happy act while around his teammates – but when he’s home alone in his apartment he feels himself growing empty, looking at old pictures of him and Jonghyun and deleting the ones of Taemin out of pure guilt. His attempts to contact Jonghyun are futile. The man doesn’t reply to his texts or answers his calls – arriving to the point where Minho’s convinced his number is blocked. Minho doesn’t know what he could possibly say if he ever approached him in person. Kibum avoids him as well, effectively ignoring him whenever they wind up in the elevator together and by foregoing their previous spots.

 He shows up to Jinki’s shop one day, attempting to find solace in one member of their squad not directly involved in the drama – but the man looks visibly pained talking to him.

 “Kibum told me what happened. He told me not to be friends with you anymore.”

 “So, you’re going to cut me off too?” Minho asks, sounding incredibly hurt.

 Jinki gives him a look of pity. “I’m sorry Minho. Kibum and Taemin are two of my closest friends and what you did really hurt them both. I c-can’t hang out with you.”

 Minho gets his food to go.

        “What did I tell you,” Minseok says over a glass of beer.

 Minho groans, not interested in being lectured by his older brother.

 “I said, you needed to come clean before shit hit the fan. But you didn’t listen and now look. Shit hit the fan.”

 Minho sighs heavily.

 “How long has it been?” his brother asks.

 “T-Three months,” Minho says under his breath.

 “And you’re still this fucked up over it? Shit.”

 Minho takes a sip of his drink. “It’s not that fucking easy to forget about hyung. J-Jonghyun, he…h-he was my everything,” Minho’s eyes grow misty.

 Minseok sighs. “Maybe you should try talking to someone else. Go out there, get laid. Forget about it for a while.”

 Minho shakes his head. “I don’t want to. I only want Jonghyun.” Minho stares down at his lock screen, a picture of him and Jonghyun sitting on the elder’s couch with their faces smushed together.

 Minseok peers over Minho’s shoulder and groans. “Well you’re not going to get over him if you stare at his picture every day. Change your fucking lock screen and delete those pictures. Besides, you know it’s really fucked up how you don’t mention Taemin when he was the one you were actually dating.”

 Minho pushes his phone back into his pocket, feeling the alcohol begin to catch up with him. “T-Tae hates me. S-Said I’m an asshole, w-which I am,” Minho slurs. “B-But Jjong and I…W-We were so r-real.”

 “Woah there,” Minseok says. He takes Minho’s glass away from him. “Enough drinking for you.”

    His brother drops him home, making sure he makes it safely into his apartment before leaving with the promise to check on him tomorrow.

 Minho stares up at the ceiling of his apartment for the longest. The spin of the ceiling fan keeps his drunk mind entertained for the longest. After a while, he grabs his phone and opens up Taemin’s contact information. He starts typing a text but finds himself squinting at the keys, unable to type properly. He settles for a voice note instead.

 “H-Hey Taemin. I-It’s me, Minho. I’m kinda d-drunk right now and yeah, I wanted to r-reach out to you for the l-longest but I didn’t k-know what to say. B-But maybe my t-thoughts will come to me e-easier right now. A-Are you doing well? I saw that y-you and Jongin went to L.A on your socials. I hope things are going great, I always believed in your potential.” Minho sighs. “I-I’m stalling cause I want to avoid talking about s-serious things. But I do really wish you all the best with your career. You’ve worked so hard. I’ve always liked that about you. N-No matter what you may think, I always genuinely cared about you Taemin. You were my first real relationship, y-you were literally my first and I’m glad that I was able to experience t-that with you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love you as fully as you deserved. J-Jonghyun held a piece of my heart from we were kids and I didn’t realize that until it was too late to act on it. I-It was never my plan to start seeing him when he came back home. I-It just sort of happened. I k-know that’s not an excuse. But it was never my intention to hurt you as much as I did. But I understand that I did hurt you, I hurt you a lot. A-And I’m sorry Tae. So s-sorry. It tears me up inside knowing that I hurt you that much. I hope one day you c-can find it in your heart to forgive me. It doesn’t have to be now or even a year from now…b-but just someday.”

 Minho sends the voice note and then hovers over Jonghyun’s number. He presses call but immediately ends it when the phone starts ringing. He sighs and chucks his phone elsewhere on the couch, not knowing what he could possibly say to Jonghyun at this point.

        A few months later, Minho finds himself finally taking his brother’s advice. His phone background has been changed to a photo of a palm tree and he’s sitting across from Jihan on their third date.

 “You know, I never thought you were interested.”

 He isn’t – well not entirely. Jihan’s a handsome guy and they get along well, but Minho would be lying if he said he was truly vested.

 He chuckles slightly. “Well. You’re handsome. You know that.”

 “It’s different knowing that you find me handsome though,” Jihan says with a smirk.

 Minho waves him off with a smile and finishes up his meal.

 After their date Jihan asks if Minho would like to come over to his place and he reluctantly agrees.

 Jihan’s apartment is a one-bedroom, very small and tidy – but Minho can’t help feeling uncomfortable as they sit on the loveseat with drinks in hand. After small talk about soccer and the conclusion of the semester, Jihan leans forward for a kiss. It’s not their first time kissing each other – Minho had given him a short peck on their second date – but it does feel strange. At this point, Minho is practically starved for human contact, but kissing Jihan doesn’t make him feel anything. When the other man presses a hand on Minho’s chest and attempts to deepen the kiss, Minho pulls away.

 “F-Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says, knocking over one of their bottles in his haste to get as far away from the man as possible. “I c-can’t do this. I thought I could, I thought I was ready, but, I…fuck!” Minho grabs his wallet and keys and scrambles up. “I have to go,” he says before fleeing from the other’s apartment.

 He gets in his car and drives straight to Jonghyun’s apartment, jolted by the realization that his love for the other has not ceased at all in the six months they’ve been apart.

 Minho knocks on the door loudly, asking out loud for Jonghyun to answer it.

 When he finally does answer the door, Minho meets pink hair where there had previously been silver.

 “M-Minho?” Jonghyun says in surprise.

 “P-Please don’t shut the door on me and hear m-me out please,” he begs. “I just went on a date,” Minho says. He inhales deeply. “I went on a d-date and I t-thought it’d been long enough. I thought I was ready. I mean we only spent two months together. Two g-glorious and unforgettable months and here I am six months later freaking out because someone t-tried to kiss me.”

 Jonghyun looks at him with eyes of concern mixed with pity.

 “B-But I can’t move on because I still love you. I love you so fucking much hyung. I-I’m sorry I didn’t do right by you. I wanted you s-so bad but I wasn’t even the boyfriend you deserved. I had you as my s-secret on the side and I’ll always regret that. I love you and I want to treat you like the boyfriend you deserve to be treated. I w-wanna scream your name from rooftops and let everyone know how much I adore you. B-But I ruined that chance and I-I’m sorry. You’ve probably moved on. I j-just, I h-hope you can forgive m-me. I hope you haven’t spent the last six months h-hating my guts.”

 Jonghyun stares up at Minho for the longest. “M-Minho-“

 “I-I’ll just go hyung,” Minho says softly. “Thanks for hearing me out.”

 He scrambles away from Jonghyun’s apartment as quickly as he had arrived. He drives home, texts Jihan a lengthy apology and passes out on his couch.

        When Minho finally wakes up the next morning, he sees a text from Jonghyun.

 Text from Jonghyunnie♥♥♥, 9 hours ago:

Meet me at the café today, at 3.

        Minho isn’t sure what to expect as he taps his foot anxiously under the table. He’s sitting in the same seat he’d sat in last year when he and Jonghyun had made promises to catch up and give being best friends another go. It feels odd, knowing that it’s almost a year since that happened. They’ve spent more time apart than they have together since Jonghyun’s return.

 Jonghyun saunters in at just seven minutes past three and sits down across from Minho.

 “H-Hi,” Minho says quietly.

 “Hi,” Jonghyun says.

 “Why did you ask me he-“

 Jonghyun cuts Minho off by motioning a waiter over to their table. He orders a lemonade and a sandwich for himself. Minho orders a water, too nervous to consume anything else. The waiter writes down their orders, promising to be back shortly before leaving to tend to another table.

 “So,” Jonghyun begins. “Taemin told me he got a voice message from you.”

 Minho furrows his brows, utterly confused at the notion of Taemin keeping in contact with Jonghyun. “O-Oh. Um, yeah. That happened a few months back. I didn’t think he listened to it. He never responded.”

 “He messaged me instead,” Jonghyun says. “He doesn’t hold any resentment towards you anymore and he gave me his blessing to date you.”

 “Oh? Oh. Um…”

 “I had to think about it for a while,” Jonghyun continues. “Actually, it made me feel even worse. That he could be so forgiving. Neither of us deserve that. I-“ Jonghyun pauses while their waiter rests down their drinks. He gives her a small smile after she promises to be back with his food soon.

 “I dated too,” Jonghyun resumes. “Taeyeon and I went out a few times. We even fooled around once.”

 Minho swallows in attempts to stifle the burning jealousy coursing through him.

 “She was really pretty and such a sweet person. But my heart wasn’t in it either. I couldn’t give myself to her fully. I’ve spent the last few months writing sad songs about relationships that can’t seem to work out for whatever reason.” He sips at his lemonade. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I still feel like shit about what we did…but I still love you and despite all the time that’s passed it hasn’t gotten any easier not having you in my life.”

 Minho takes a deep breath, feeling like it’s the first one he’s taken since he sat down in this café.  

 “I love you too. I l-love you so much hyung.” He reaches for Jonghyun’s hand across the table.

 Jonghyun holds onto Minho’s hand tightly. “B-But I don’t think we can just go back to the way things were before.”

 Minho frowns at him, slowly pulling his hand away. “Oh?”

 Jonghyun snatches his hand back and laces their fingers together. “You could at least court me first.”

        Courting Jonghyun proves to be an easy task. With his years of knowledge of the shorter man’s preferences, it’s not difficult to plan dates that the other will like or perform gestures that are guaranteed to make the other swoon.

 With the older man’s advice, Minho manages to pick out an excellent gift for Kibum’s birthday. A pricey bracelet accompanied with a letter apologizing for all his wrongdoings.

    It takes a while, but Kibum eventually returns to his post as Minho’s best friend.

    “I mean I guess I should have known,” Kibum says over a glass of wine.

 He’s currently sporting a buzzcut with patches dyed a bunch of different colours. Minho thinks it looks ridiculous but Kibum swears it’s the height of style.

 “You were way too sad when Jonghyun-hyung wanted nothing to do with you and then way too excited when he came around. I had my suspicions all along.”

 Minho snorts. “Yeah well-“

 “And then the disappearing acts. So obvious. But you had to top it all off with the matching rings.”

 Minho sighs heavily, not wanting this reminder of his wrongful actions – but unable to blame Kibum nonetheless.

 “It’s a good thing Taemin has moved on, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now,” Kibum says as he takes another sip of his wine.

 Minho hasn’t spoken to Taemin, it seems as though there was a silent agreement that they would keep their distance. However according to his Instagram and updates from Kibum, he’s currently dating a girl named Seulgi.

 “I-I’m so sorry again Bum-“

 “Yeah yeah, I know,” Kibum cuts him off. “So back to Jonghyun. Things back to what they were?”

  Minho shakes his head. “We’re taking it a little slow. He doesn’t want to be called my boyfriend just yet. We haven’t been sleeping together either.”

 “Oh? And you’re fine with that.”

 Minho nods. “I’m just happy I get to be in his presence.”

        Jonghyun does eventually come around.

 Minho takes him on a trip to the Hallasan Mountain and Jonghyun agrees to be his boyfriend – properly this time – right before he dumps snow down Minho’s jacket.  

        The revelation of their relationship does not come as a surprise to either of their families. Mrs. Kim and Mrs. Choi look at each other knowingly when the two boys admit to their relationship, commenting that they’d had their suspicions all along but thought that they’d let them figure it out on their own without any pressure. Minho’s father doesn’t comment, but he does smile at the couple fondly a few times over the course of the shared dinner.

    “Even though he doesn’t deserve it after the shit he pulled,” Minseok teases. “I’m glad you decided to give Minho another chance Jonghyun. He really cares about you.”

 Jonghyun nods with a shy smile.

 “But, if he ever pulls any shady business again, I’d be happy to kick his ass for you.”

 Jonghyun laughs heartily at that. “I will definitely keep that in mind hyung.”

        It’s amazing when you find true love and all your needs satisfied by merely being in their presence. Minho never thought it was possible, but he and Jonghyun have made it official for a month now and he hasn’t felt the urge to ask the man for sex. He misses it, he wants it, but he’s also perfectly content simply curled up on his couch together with the shorter man.

 “Hey Minho,” Jonghyun looks up at Minho after noticing him drifting off into his own thoughts.

 Minho looks down at him, smiling as he sees the ring fit snugly around Jonghyun’s thumb. “Yeah baby?”

 Jonghyun presses a warm kiss to his mouth, before shifting on Minho’s lap so that he’s straddling Minho’s waist. He kisses Minho deeply, hands rubbing all over Minho’s warm skin.

 “I-Is this okay?” Jonghyun asks breathlessly. “D-Do you want to?”

 Minho nods, unable to find the words.

    They move into Minho’s bed. The lights are off, making it difficult to see each other. But Minho finds that he doesn’t need to see the other man to know what expression he’s making. He doesn’t need to see him to please him.

 They take things slow, thoroughly exploring each other’s bodies. Minho works his mouth over the entire expanse of Jonghyun’s skin, like it’s the first time he’s ever gotten a taste.

 “Shit, you’re killing m-me,” Jonghyun whimpers as Minho’s tongue works over his most intimate spot. Minho doesn’t have much experience doing this but from the sounds Jonghyun’s making, he’s certain it’ll make its way into their routine.

    Minho whimpers as he interlocks their fingers above Jonghyun’s head, rocking into him at a slow pace. It feels so good, being able to express his love in such a raw and passionate way. He peppers kisses all over Jonghyun’s face while he moves inside of him. “I l-love you,” he repeats over and over like a mantra.

 Jonghyun cums first with his legs tightening around Minho’s waist while his voice reaches pitches Minho’s only ever heard in song. Minho follows soon after, unable to contain himself after feeling the way Jonghyun tightened around him.

 Minho can’t see it, but he feels the love and adoration pouring into him from Jonghyun.

 “G-God I love you. I wanna spend the rest of my days with you. I wanna write sappy love songs that I’m too embarrassed to play for you and be in the bleachers for every one of your soccer games. And I fucking hate sports. I-“

 Minho lets out a breathless laugh before shutting Jonghyun up with a kiss. “I k-know hyung. I k-know. I-I’m sorry it took so long for us to be t-together like this.  Y-You know I feel the same. I’ve felt this f-for such a long time. I w-would have waited years for you if I had to.”

 Jonghyun kisses Minho deeply and Minho knows that now that he has him fully, he will never let him go.

        “So,” Minho starts.

 “So,” Jonghyun echoes.

 “T-This is awkward,” Minho says apologetically.

 “Only if you make it awkward hyung,” Taemin quips.

 They’re gathered in a small restaurant – Minho and Jonghyun sitting across from Taemin and his girlfriend Seulgi. Seulgi is even more beautiful in person and has an addicting laugh. Minho can see why Taemin is attracted to her. She and Jonghyun seem to get along well, sharing conversations about books and music throughout the dinner. Minho finds it hard to talk to her, considering he doesn’t know just how much of his and Taemin’s past the girl actually knows.

 Minho clears his throat. “I’m sorry. It’s hard for it not to be awkward?” His words come out sounding like a question rather than a statement.

 “There’s no hard feelings hyung. You and Jonghyun-hyung are back together and I’ve moved on. I just wanted to meet up with you guys so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable in the future.”

 “I’m really sorry again,” Jonghyun says. “Truly.”

 “I know,” Taemin replies. “I was never upset with you Jonghyun-hyung. You, on the other hand,” he looks at Minho.

 Minho looks away, embarrassed.

 “Well…we can let a dead thing stay dead.”

 Jonghyun rests a comforting hand on Minho’s knee. “So…Are you moving back to Seoul?” Jonghyun asks in attempts to change the conversation.

 “Oh no, we’re only visiting,” Taemin says. “There’s still a lot more of the world I wanna see.”

 Minho nods, knowing that Taemin had ambitions that could not be confined to South Korea.

 “I know you’ll do well,” Minho says quietly.

 Taemin gives him a small smile.

    After dinner they decide to go to a karaoke bar. Jongin shows up halfway through the night along with his girlfriend. Jinki joins them later followed by Kibum and his new boyfriend Donghyun.

 “Are you okay?” Jonghyun asks Minho when he sits down after belting out a TVXQ song. “You don’t look like you’re having a good time.”

 Minho’s the only one who hasn’t sang tonight.

 “I-It just feels…weird,” Minho confesses. “Being around everyone like this. It almost feels normal. But I still feel like an asshole for what I did. And everyone knows.”

 Jonghyun rubs his hand gently. “Why don’t you talk to him…alone.”

 Minho chews on his lip nervously. “You’d be okay with that? After everything?”

 “Of course. I trust you Minho. I know you’re not that person.”

    Spurred on by Jonghyun’s declaration of trust, Minho approaches Taemin and asks if he can talk to him alone.

    “You look happy,” Minho tells him as they stand out on the balcony of the establishment. “Is it real or is it just for show?”

 Taemin scoffs. “Over a year later and you expect me to still be crying over you?”

 “N-No that’s not what I meant, it’s just-“

 “Calm down. I’m just fucking with you,” Taemin says. “I am happy. Genuinely. I love Seulgi and entering a partnership with Jongin was the best decision I made career wise. I have lots to be happy about.”

 Love. Minho can’t recall ever saying that word to Taemin and really meaning it. “You love her?”

 Taemin nods. “Yeah, I do.”

 He says it with so much conviction. “That’s good. I’m really happy for you Tae.”

 Taemin hums. “I don’t have to ask if you’re happy. It’s so apparent with the way you look at Jonghyun. It’s almost disgusting.” He takes a sip of his beer.

 “Does that bother you?”

 “At first it did. I spent so many nights wondering why you would look at him like that, and not me. But it doesn’t bother me anymore. I can see now that the love we had for each other or at least thought we had doesn’t compare to the real thing. You know? I still care about you. I always will. But I’m not in love with you.”

 Minho nods, not at all hurt by those words – rather feeling a sense of peace that Taemin has been able to move on.

 “I’ll always care about you. I know I was drunk in the voice memo, but I meant everything I said. I know we probably won’t ever be friends again, but I just want you to be happy and to take good care of yourself.”

 Taemin gives him a small smile. “I will.”

 Minho pulls the younger man in for a hug. “Thank you Taemin.”

 Taemin hugs him back. “For what?”

 “For forgiving me. That means more to me than you know.”

 Taemin pulls back. “I know you’re not a bad guy Minho. I never thought you were. You let your heart get the best of you. It also sucks cause Jonghyun-hyung is so hard to hate. He’s really sexy too-“

 “Hey, are you trying to make the moves on my man?” Minho teases.

 Taemin laughs with him.

 “There you guys are,” Kibum says as he joins them on the balcony. “Come back to the room, we’ve only got 10 minutes left and Minho has yet to sing a song.”

 Minho shakes his head as he and Taemin are both pulled along by Kibum.

        He sings a song that he thinks both Jonghyun and Taemin will enjoy.

        “Hey Min…”

 “Hmm?”

 They’re lying in their shared bed, huddled under the covers for warmth, with Jonghyun’s unbelievably cold toes tickling Minho’s ankles. It’s late December, with Christmas right around the corner. They both want to make the most of their first Christmas living together in their own home.

 “What do you think about getting married?”

 Minho pitches up at that, rolling over on top of Jonghyun so he can look at the other clearly.

“What did you just say?”

 Jonghyun averts his eyes, suddenly feeling shy under Minho’s intense gaze.  “I-I’m asking you to marry me.”

 “N-no Jjong why…”

 Jonghyun visibly deflates. “You don’t want to get married?” His eyes well up a little bit.

 “No no Jonghyun, of course I do baby,” Minho chuckles at how easily emotional his boyfriend can get. He squishes Jonghyun’s cheeks together. “Idiot. Of course I do. But you ruined my surprise.” Minho sighs and rolls over to his original position.

 Jonghyun sniffles. “Surprise?”

“I was gonna propose to you next spring.  I had this big thing planned. I was gonna take you out to a nice hotel for the weekend, one with a view of the beach. And on our last night, I would lead you to the balcony of our room and you’d look down at the beach and there would be ‘Will you marry me Jjong’ in big letters in the sand.”

 “Are you serious?”

 “Of course I am hyung! I was gonna book the reservations this week.”

 Jonghyun chuckles and then presses a kiss to Minho’s pouting lips. “You’re so cheesy.”

 “Shut up, you would’ve cried if I did.”

 He kisses Minho again. “Maybe…But still, will you though? Will you marry me?”

Minho grumbles. “Of course I will,” he pulls Jonghyun against his chest. The shorter man sighs in contentment as he wraps his arms around Minho’s waist.

 “We should start planning the wedding. Maybe a beach wedding so your fantasy will be fulfilled.”

 Minho smiles, and laces his fingers with Jonghyun’s. “Yeah? And after we’re married what are we gonna do next? Adopt some kids?”

 “Ooh ooh, two boys and a girl. Or two girls and a boy. We can start a cute little family.”

 “The cutest little family.”  

 Jonghyun grins and kisses Minho’s chin. The latter’s cheeks hurt from smiling at the idea of marrying his best friend and starting a family with him. And it would be the best family ever. They’d love and nurture their children just as much as they love and care for each other. And their lives will forever be filled with constant happiness.

 Jonghyun yawns and snuggles more into Minho’s embrace.

 “I love you Frogho.”

 “I love you more Dinoboy.”

 The End.

[artificialqueens]

Needles Family Values, Ch. 1 - pureCAMP & Citrus

Summary: They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, the Needles family! Missing sisters, lying psychiatrists, passionate sex and the imminent threats of fraud and death… just another day in the Needles household. Welcome to the Addams Family AU you never knew you needed.

pureCAMP’s a/n: hi!!! i love citrus and i love these movies and this franchise so here’s our secret surprise we’ve been hinting at for ages!!!! love u and hope u love this!!!

Citrus’s a/n: if you know me at all, you know that the Addams Family is my favorite film franchise of all time, and arguably my favorite pop culture franchise overall. i’m absolutely ELATED to be finally bringing this fic into the light after working so long and hard on it with one of my favorite people in the entire world! this really is a labor of love, and i hope you enjoy it!

-

“Violet, darling, put that cleaver down.”

The children skidded to a halt at the sound of their mother’s voice, soft yet firm, and Violet handed over the offending object that she had been using to chase her younger brother around the house. Sharon replaced it with an axe, pressing the weapon into her daughter’s hands. There were many dangers around their home, little nooks and crannies of chaos for the children to run into, and it was the very least she could do to try and protect them. A cleaver would be of no use at all.

“Don’t ever let me catch you doing that again. Your brother is much too old for just a little cleaver, now, isn’t he?”

Alaska looked over from the sofa, a smile spreading across her face. “Has Gio really outgrown the meat cleaver? Oh, Sharon, they’re growing up so fast…” She regarded her wife lovingly as the children took off once more, Violet brandishing the new axe proudly. “Do you remember when Gio was born, darling?”

The ghost of a smile flickered on Sharon’s lips at the memory. “Of course I do,” she said wistfully. “I was in labour for twenty-seven hours. It was agony.” She paused. “It was bliss.” Alaska shivered.

“Your screams… I’ll never forget them, cara mia. They were so tortured, so chilling, so utterly beautiful.” Sharon glowed at her wife’s words, closing the book she’d been skimming through and laying it on her lap. Alaska’s gaze landed on the novel curiously before she looked back up at Sharon. “What are you reading, bella?”

“Raising the Dead: Caring for Your Little Monster,” she replied with the hint of a smile. “Ages infant to three.”

Alaska cocked her head to the side, puzzled. “Infant to three? But Sharon, our children…” her eyes widened suddenly, and she stared at her wife, mouth agape. “Sharon. Is it true?” Sharon’s smile didn’t waver as she nodded in affirmation, one hand resting on her abdomen. Alaska jumped to her feet, pulling her wife into a tight embrace. “Cara mia… Such dreadful news, and today of all days…”

Sharon leaned into Alaska’s embrace, lips brushing against her cheek. “Darling… It was inevitable… I simply can’t keep my hands off you…” Alaska held back a low moan as Sharon ran her hands over her curves, emphasized by the exquisite tailoring of her dark suit. Her words were true; she’d never met a single soul who possessed the beauty that Alaska had, and she truly loved her wife - several times a day, at least. While Alaska preferred to express her adoration for Sharon with flowery words and chivalry and gifts, Sharon’s way of proclaiming her affection was much more… physical. She was incredibly lucky, therefore, that she’d met a woman with a near-insatiable sexual appetite to match her own, and married her.

Sharon remembered it like it had happened merely yesterday, and not the ten years their unbreakable vow had boasted. A dear friend of hers had passed away - the delightfully disgusting Sasha, after losing a long and honourable battle with her own health - and she had arrived at the funeral resplendent in black, the same situation during which her friend, when alive, had introduced her to the very pair of eyes watching her whilst everybody else was enamoured with her cadaver. She, too, found herself drawn to the piercing stare of her lover. Had she been a different kind of woman, she may have even blushed.

The “mystery woman” introduced herself immediately, kneeling slightly and pressing a lingering kiss to Sharon’s outstretched hand. “My, my… The devil should be so lucky as to receive you as a gift, bella.”

Her poisonous green eyes met Sharon’s as she straightened, allowing her to appreciate the woman before her. “Alaska Needles. Why, it’s… disenchanting to meet you. I had expected that her darling corpse would be the prettiest thing I saw today. It appears I was wrong.”

“Sharon, Sharon Coady. You’re quite the sight to behold, Alaska.”

Alaska blinked slowly, her gaze unwavering as her eyelashes fluttered. “I can see you’ve lived a thousand torturous lifetimes, cara mia. A woman like you deserves a name to go with it.”

Biting her lip, Sharon pulled Alaska closer, delighted by their playacting. “Is that so? What would you suggest?”

With a tenderness unlike anything Sharon had felt before, Alaska took both her hands within her own and held them close to her chest. It was as if Sharon could feel the fire beneath her skin, relishing in the flames that devoured the pit of her stomach. Her lover was a woman like no other.

“I say I take you away. Tonight, cara mia, the witching hour. I’ll give you my name, and all of the pain and misery you could possibly withstand.”

Sharon let out a low gasp. “Take me, darling. Let us never look back.”

That very night, in the midst of the very graveyard their relatives were decaying in, they had made the ultimate sacrifice. Sharon relinquished her name, happy to accept Alaska’s in the wake of their seemingly sudden, sweeping romance. When they kissed, the moonlight above them as their witness, Sharon swore that life and death, pain and pleasure, distress and tranquility each had merged, coming together into one.

Before long, she was a fully-fledged member of the extensive Needles clan, accepted and beloved by each and every oddity that kissed her hand and wished them well. Sharon learned of Alaska’s sister, older and lonelier, who had disappeared the very night they married, never to be seen again. The two sisters had been driven apart, and Sharon knew just how deeply Alaska wished she could see her once more and reunite their family.

“Katya always loved the little ones, how I wish she could be here to meet our children,” Alaska sighed. “She would adore them so.”

“The time of the seance is nearing, ma chère,” Sharon answered, “Perhaps tonight, Katya Needles will show herself. We all miss her dearly.”

“Everyone to the seance room, we must begin the preparations!” The voice of Alaska’s mother brought them out of their trance, reminding the two they were not alone. They made their way to the seance room arm-in-arm, and though the urge to steal away and lose themselves in pain and pleasure was strong, the urge to reunite their family was, as it so often is, much stronger.

“Violet, Gio, darlings- come and join us,” Sharon called out softly, the children seemingly materializing out of nowhere and scampering into the room. Violet was still wielding the axe, and Gio had retaliated with spiked mace that he was swinging above his head. Holding out one hand, Alaska stopped them both in their tracks and watched as they skidded to a halt.

“Now, now, no weapons are to be taken into the seance room. You know this.” She scolded gently, ignoring their sulky expressions as she took the weapons and put them aside. “We need to prepare for tonight, and I know you’ve been looking forward to it so very much. Come along, now.”

Rarely used but well-loved, the seance room was one of the many dusty jewels tucked away in their home. It was well stocked with books, thick with knowledge of any kind of pain and torture known or unknown to man. In the centre, beneath one of many crystalline chandeliers, stood their grand oak table. Many an execution warrant had been written upon its smooth surface back in its origin. It was rich with history, which they were hoping would serve them well in their search for Katya.

“Oh, Alaska… It seems such a shame to remove all these beautiful cobwebs….” Sharon held the duster close to her chest.

Alaska pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “I know, mia bella. They’re exquisite.”

Sharon sighed, sweeping through them half-heartedly. “I’m sorry, poor spiders. It’ll only be for a couple of days. Then you can move right back in and begin spinning some beautiful new webs.”

There wasn’t much else to be done, save for removing the dust and setting out the candles, so it didn’t take the family too long to prepare. It had been almost a decade of searching fruitlessly, desperate for Katya’s return. They had to hope that this year would finally yield the results they dreamed of.

A gentle tap on the door revealed a visitor - the eccentric disembodied hand, who was standing near Alaska’s feet. It was clear by the frantic gesturing that it had a message.

“Ah! Evening, Vanjie.”

The hand went still.

Alaska coughed. “Sorry, sorry. Miss Vanjie.”

Satisfied, Vanjie continued with its odd method of communicating, gesticulating oddly in a manner that seemed completely untranslatable. Somehow, Alaska nodded, understanding it all.

“Right, right. Sharon, darling, Detox and Roxxxy are here. Vanjie says they’re expecting you.”

Sharon let out an airy gasp. “Of course. I’d completely forgotten. Detox will want to speak with you, I expect.” She turned to face the rest of the family. “My darlings, Grandmama’s in charge. We have other matters to attend to.”

-

“The Katya Needles Offshore Retirement Fund?” Alaska read off the sheet of paper on her desk. She looked up at Detox. “What would it do?”

Detox put a hand on her hip. “What wouldn’t it do?”

Alaska sighed, already lost in a memory. “Katya… You know, some called her ‘the visual depiction of untreated mental illness.’”

“No,” Detox gasped. Alaska shook her head, smiling proudly.

“Only our parents. I called her ‘sister.’”

“And her memory must live on forever,” Detox insisted. “Through money,” she added. “I’ll deposit the money under my name, for tax purposes you know.”

“How inspired!” Alaska praised, looking over the papers in her hands.

“She would’ve wanted it that way,” Detox said. “One million dollars should be the perfect amount. For darling Katya’s memory, of course.”

Alaska leapt up from her seat and onto her desk. “It’s brilliant!” she exclaimed joyfully, fencing foil raised high. Then she paused, turning to look down at Detox. “But it’s not old business, Detox, and you know the rules.”

“Couldn’t we- couldn’t we make an exception?” the businesswoman faltered. Alaska hopped off the desk, shaking her head.

“Old business is old business, and new business is new business. And we do not discuss new business until…” she turned her back and flipped through her desk calendar at an inhuman speed, “Next quarter.”

“Next quarter,” Detox repeated under her breath, outraged. While Alaska’s back was still turned, she grabbed her abandoned foil from their earlier joust and made a thrust in Alaska’s direction with her whole body. Unfortunately, Alaska moved at the very last second, sending Detox tumbling over the desk and onto the floor.

“Fine lunge, but your riposte…” Alaska tsked, looking down at her. “A tad rusty. You’d do well to practice more, Detox.” She tossed her foil to Vanjie, who sheathed it, and made her way to the doorway. “Make yourself comfortable while I fetch the money for the monthly expenses.”

-

“A charity auction,” Jinkx muttered as she searched through the storage room, “It’s ridiculous.”

They had already searched most of the room, including opening an old bureau that was found to only contain the summer and winter wardrobes of Alaska’s uncle, as well as the body of the man himself. No luck there.

At that moment, Vanjie caught Sharon’s attention by snapping its fingers and pointing to a nearby shelf. Sharon let out a small exclamation of delight and retrieved the object they’d been searching for, gliding over to Roxxxy with a smile.

“Just what we’ve been searching for. Thank you, Vanjie.”

“It’s beautiful,” Roxxxy breathed. “Er, what is it?”

Sharon smiled. “A finger trap from the court of Emperor Ru,” she explained, turning the device over in her hands.

“This must be worth a fortune… Oh, Sharon!” Roxxxy squealed in delight, overcome by her kindness. “It’s too extravagant… Maybe even for the auction…”

“Let’s keep it,” Jinkx suggested gleefully. Sharon looked at her with surprise.

“Hush, Mama,” she chided, “It’s for charity. Widows and orphans.” She turned to Roxxxy with an expression of utmost sympathy. “We need more of them.” Then she frowned, looking troubled. “Roxxxy, about the seance tonight… I wish you’d come. It’s Alaska, I’m… I’m terribly worried about her,” she admitted. “She won’t eat, she can’t sleep, she keeps coughing up blood…”

Roxxxy looked up from the finger trap, which had now closed around her index fingers while she had been fiddling with it. “She coughs up blood?” she echoed, sounding horrified. Sharon sighed deeply, her voice thick with emotion.

“Not like she used to…”

-

“There you are!” Alaska proclaimed, heaping the last of a stack of shimmering gold coins onto the scale. “The monthly expenses. It was good to see you, Detox, you really should visit more often.” Sliding the doubloons into Detox’s briefcase, she handed it off, bidding the defeated woman adieu.

Mood soured, Detox grunted in response. “Thanks.” She replied curtly, lugging the much-heavier briefcase with her. “Roxxxy? Come on, we’re leaving!”

Roxxxy joined her just as they headed out of the door, Alaska and Sharon waving them off. Her face was pinched uncomfortably, her finger still caught in the unusual trap, and she looked put-out by something. Such was a side-effect of visiting the Needles mansion - though they were rich, the estate was filled with horrors other than the children, that would disturb anyone of sound mind.

“This stupid trap!” She shrieked, finally undone by the madness. “Detox, look at this stupid thing!”

She was just about to open the gate, ready to reassure her wife, when she realized something - or someone - was blocking the way. The Needles’ eldest child, a young girl named Violet, was stood in front of them.

“You - but - you -” Detox faltered, sure she had seen the child just moments ago, at the top of the staircase. Violet remained expressionless.

“It’s not stupid.” She stated plainly. “It’s very simple, and very valuable.” With one click, she freed Roxxxy’s fingers, now red and swollen, from the trap. “There’s a trick to it. Maybe Mother will teach it to you tonight, at the seance.”

Without another word, she began to walk back towards her home, looming eerily black against the bright blue sky. In the meantime, wrenching the gate open, Detox glared at Roxxxy.

“You agreed to go to a seance?! With the Needles?!”

Roxxxy shrugged helplessly. “Do you expect me to argue with Sharon?” She replied, her voice shrill. “She’s a lovely woman, but she’s too intimidating!”

“And filthy fucking rich - that she is.” Detox sighed, conceding. “That she fucking is.”

-

With an almighty thud, Detox slammed the briefcase that Alaska had filled onto her desk and sank into her worn leather chair, facing the wall. She was in dire straits, and she knew it. That fake retirement fund for the long missing Katya Needles had been her last attempt at a fraudulent scheme, and she had come up empty-handed yet again. If she couldn’t convince the Needles to squander some of their unending wealth soon, she would be a goner.

“Detox? Good to see you. Sit down.” A familiar voice commanded. Detox let out a long, low groan.

“I’m already sitting down.”

“Sit down here.” The voice insisted. Turning, Detox saw the one face that she cared to see less than Alaska or Sharon Needles - Phi Phi O’Hara. Her dark eyes were boring into Detox’s expectantly, and she knew that her benefactor was waiting for money that she just didn’t have.

“Pay up, Detox.” She began sternly, as she sullenly took a seat opposite Phi Phi on the floral couch. “I’ve lent you many thousands of dollars by now. I expect to see some payback.”

Sweating, Detox sank down further. “Look, O’Hara, I don’t have it. I’ve got nothing for you, I’ve got nothing for myself. I need more time-”

“And I need results, Detox. I need them now. I trust you haven’t met my sister yet?”

Detox’s first thought was that there was no way this… creature could be Phi Phi’s sister. Unlike her boss, who was short in stature and golden skinned, her sister was tall, pale and muscular. Around her head, a birds nest of black hair obscured most of her face, so that all that could be seen was one sharp cheekbone and a pair of blood red lips. However, at the sight of her somewhat-menacing stance, Detox decided not to question her birth.

“She’s trained.” Phi Phi warned her. “I wouldn’t try to cross us, Detox.

The dark-haired woman cracked her knuckles.

She frowned. “Trained in what?”

Phi Phi shrugged. “Don’t try to find out. Just give us our money and we won’t have to hurt you.”

“I’m trying!” Detox insisted, jumping to her feet. “Honestly, they’re drowning in money. Just today I heard Alaska’s wife talking about how they made it onto Forbes richest - multiple times! They have some sort of secret vault or something, but no one knows where it is!” Phi Phi’s terrifying sister stepped closer to her, a menacing glare in her eyes as she reached out and suddenly pushed Detox against the wall by her neck.

“I think she’s lying, Phi Phi,” she said with a leering grin.

“I- I swear I’m not!” Detox choked out, struggling to breathe. “I was gonna look during- during their seance tonight!”

“Seance?” Phi Phi questioned. Detox nodded as best she could while attempting to free herself from the woman’s grasp.

“They have one every year, to- to summon their long-lost sister. K-Katya.”

“Petra, let her down,” Phi Phi commanded. Her sister relinquished her hold on Detox with a slight frown, stepping back. “Now, Detox… Tell me about this seance.”

By the time Detox had explained everything, there was a wicked glimmer in Phi Phi’s eye.

“This could work,” she mused, “We could pull it off.”

“Pull what off?”

Phi Phi rolled her eyes. “Jesus, Detox, keep up. We’re gonna disguise Petra as Katya Needles, and I’ll pretend to be a psychiatrist who found her washed up somewhere with amnesia. Once the Needles accept her into their family again, she can tell us where their vault is, and you can finally pay us what you owe.”

Detox considered Phi Phi’s plan, her gaze shifting to Petra. She did look startlingly similar to the portrait of Katya that hung in the Needles estate. With a haircut and some cleaning up, she could easily pass for the long-lost Needles sibling. Phi Phi was already convinced, a pair of fake glasses in hand to add to her psychiatrist illusion. Petra was on board with the scheme, seemingly willing to do whatever her sister suggested. Reluctantly, Detox pulled out her phone.

“I’ll call Roxxxy. She likes Mrs Needles, but she hates the weird shit they get up to. She’s not gonna like this at all.”

For the entire drive back to the Needles mansion, Roxxxy was sullen and silent; it was a drastic but not unwelcome change from her hysterical yelling that had nearly burst Detox’s eardrums through the phone. She kept her arms crossed and her eyes in her lap, doing her best to ignore the two passengers conversing in the backseat. As expected, she hadn’t taken the news well, but Detox had the upper hand. No matter how they did it, they needed money fast. Petra - or Katya - was their only hope.

“Ugh, this place freaks me out.” Roxxxy sniffed, smoothing her dark green skirt and gazing at the ornate iron gates. “Do you think I look dark enough for them?”

Irritated with her attitude, Detox rolled her eyes, before plastering a fake smile onto her face. “Aww, for the Needleses?”

She placed a gentle hand on Roxxxy’s arm, to reassure her.

“No.” Detox finished abruptly, letting her hand fall. “Nothing is dark enough for them. Come on, they’ll be waiting. You two wait here and listen.” The last comment was directed at Phi Phi and Petra-Katya.

All but dragging Roxxxy up the path, Detox affixed a wide grin to her face and pressed the doorbell, hoping it wouldn’t snap and try to chomp on her finger as it had done once before. Thankfully, the feral button remained still, leaving Detox’s hands untouched and her smile unbroken.

“Darling, at least try to look like you want to be here.” She hissed. “They’re our last hope.”

The door swung open, revealing the Needles’ manservant, the tall and handsome Max. He seldom spoke, but Detox had seen him a few times around the home. Behind him, Sharon was watching them intently. At her serious expression, Detox let the smile fall from her face. Like any Needles family member, Sharon rarely smiled, save for the seductive, tight-lipped smirk she reserved only for her wife.

“Detox, Roxxxy, do come in. I can’t thank you enough for coming. Alaska will be delighted.”

Roxxxy simpered. “Oh, it was our pleasure.” She told her, sounding saccharine-sweet.

Sharon raised one eyebrow. “Oh, really? It was ours too.”

Leaving a puzzled Roxxxy no time to respond, Sharon turned on her heel. “Max, darling, will you help escort our guests to the seance room? You know Mama, she’s simply itching to begin.”

The tall butler first took their coats before leading them to the seance room. Both Detox and Roxxxy immediately wished they had kept them on, as the house grew colder the closer they got, but they pinned the smiles to their faces anyway.

As they entered, feeling slightly out of place, the Needles family (and guests) gathered around a large oak table, sitting in high-backed chairs as candles flickered on the walls.

“Gio, I see that axe,” Sharon chided softly, holding out her hand. Gio and Violet shared a look, and the boy handed the weapon to his mother with a sweet, innocent smile. “Now… Shall we begin?”

The participants joined hands– all except for Max, who had been tasked with providing the mood music for the night, and was fulfilling that duty by playing sonatas on an organ. The weather outside was perfect for a seance, stormy and dark, with rolling thunder and the occasional flash of lightning. Other than the thunderclaps and Max’s organ-playing, the room was very quiet, and Jinkx started the seance with an old incantation.

“Sing, all ye spirits… Harken all souls…”

Her gravelly voice was chilling. As she spoke, Detox and Roxxxy found themselves watching the two Mrs Needles interacting. Despite the sinister setting, their unending romance seemed unperturbed by the darkness. Alaska was gazing into Sharon’s eyes as though she intended to ravish her right then and there. With a sniff, Roxxxy tried to recall the last time she had been looked at with such all-consuming lust.

Alaska gently stroked her wife’s hand, continuing. “Every year on this date, we offer a clarion call to Katya Needles. May she reveal herself at last.”

“From generation to generation, our beacon to the beyond.” Sharon smiled softly as she placed a lit candle in the centre of the table.

“Everyone close your eyes and join hands!” Jinkx instructed. Once again, Roxxxy found herself uncomfortable - though she considered herself friends with Sharon, her mother-in-law Jinkx had always seemed odd, and her daughter Violet was unnerving, to say the least. Still, she reassured herself, despite their outward appearances, they were just an elderly grandmother and a harmless young child. Nothing to fear.

“Oh, what a grip!” Jinkx exclaimed as Roxxxy took her hand, with a grasp no firmer than usual. “Ooh! Oh, my hand!”

Her frizzy, greying red hair was stood on end like the fur of a hissing cat. Looking down, she didn’t realize the source of the old woman’s yelping until she realized the hand that she was holding was no longer attached to Jinkx’s arm. Horrified, she screamed and stumbled backwards.

“The - it - how - I- hand!” She babbled, pointing in terror at the disembodied limb. Jinkx and the children fell about laughing, prompting Alaska to shake her head at their antics before cracking a smile of her own. Even Sharon had an amused smirk toying at her lips.

“Vanjie, you’re more of a handful than the children, sometimes,” she scolded. “And Mama, you know better than to scare our dear guest like that.”

Jinkx shrugged, reconnecting their hands to continue the seance. “Violet?”

The little girl nodded, more serious and still than a child had ever been. “Let us ransom you from the power of the grave. Tonight, oh Death, let us be your plague.”

A whispered, “Well done, dear,” from Sharon followed her incantation before Jinkx took over once more, chanting in an unfamiliar tongue. The room grew colder as she spoke, the darkness becoming heavier around them as though a veil shrouded the room. Goosebumps ran along any exposed flesh. Then, in an instant, all of the candles blew out in a gust of inexplicable wind.

“I sense that she’s near!”

Everybody’s eyes snapped open. There was no sign of the missing Needles sister in the room, but Alaska’s eyes were wide with hope, presumably conveying a message to Sharon, at whom she was staring at with a fiery intensity.

“Katya Needles, gather your strength!” Jinkx commanded. “Knock three times!”

The rest of the participants closed their eyes again, except for Detox. Roxxxy was about to scold her for not taking part when she noticed she was looking out of the window across the Needles estate. Somewhere in the distance, a car door shut, and Detox turned her attention back to the seance. With bated breath, the family waited to find out if this was the night that Katya Needles would finally reappear.  

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

Alaska almost looked as though she were in pain - her body jolted with each knock, and her face was screwed up in desperation. She couldn’t bear to get her hopes up about her sister’s return if she was not truly going to appear.

“Did you hear that? Ask again, quickly!” she demanded, her eyes sparkling. “Ask again!”

Jinkx cleared her throat. “Katya Needles! Long have you been missing, soon will you be reunited. I demand that you knock again, three times!”

Once more, Alaska gritted her teeth, her brow furrowed as she listened out between the cracking of thunder.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

At the final knock, she sprung from her chair, knocking a nearby candle and setting a piece of cloth alight. “My sister! She’s here, at our door!” Ignoring the fire, which Max was startlingly quick to put out, she all but bounded out of the room with Sharon on her tail, followed in turn by their children.

Flinging the heavy door open like it weighed nothing, Alaska was immediately confronted by two figures: a petite brunette woman wearing a raincoat, and a taller woman with a mess of black hair rivaling only her own. Sharon let out a soft gasp at her side, and when the raven-haired woman flashed an awkward smile, Alaska was sweeping her up in a bone-crushing embrace.

“It’s you,” she whispered, on the verge of tears. “Katya.”

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Lupinepublishers|arly Decompressive Craniectomy for Post- Thrombolysis Symptomatic Intracranial Haemorrhage

Key Message

Intravenous thrombolysis for acute ischemic stroke can be complicated by intracranial haemorrhage. Early decompressive craniectomy in such patients can be life saving but is associated with high risk of peri operative bleeding. We managed such a patient with decompressive craniectomy within 24hrs of thrombolysis by correcting coagulation with the help of thromboelastograhpy.

Keywords: Decompressive craniectomy; Intravenous thrombolysis; Symptomatic intracranial haemorrhage; Thromboelastography

Introduction

Acute ischemic stroke is one of the leading causes of death and permanent disability in the world. Intravenous thrombolysis (IVT) with recombinant tissue plasminogen activator (rt-PA) has been the recommended treatment modality in acute ischemic stroke [1]. but the most dreadful complication of thrombolysis is intracerebral haemorrhage in about 7% cases. The clinicians are faced with difficult decision of how to best treat these patients as there are no evidence based guidelines regarding the management of such complications. The American Heart Association has suggested only empirical therapies to replace clotting factors and platelets to reverse coagulopathy [2]. Decompressive craniectomy (DC) is a life-saving procedure for malignant middle cerebral artery stroke associated with cerebral oedema, enough to cause herniation and death [3]. The decision of decompressive craniectomy following intracerebral haemorrhage after intravenous thrombolysis is not without the risk of peri operative haemorrhage. We report the first case where decompressive surgery was uneventfully performed as a life-saving procedure within 24hours of developing symptomatic intracerebral haemorrhage after intravenous thrombolysis. The timing for decompressive craniectomy was guided by thromboelastography (TEG).

Case report

A 63-year old hypertensive, diabetic man presented with left hemiplegia within 140 minutes of onset. On examination, he was alert, GCS 15, left hemiplegia, right gaze palsy and dysarthria, NIHSS (National Institute of Health Stroke Scale) of 17. Magnetic resonance imaging of the brain revealed infarct in the superior division of right middle cerebral artery (MCA) (Figure 1a). His blood biochemistry was unremarkable (Hb-13.8, Plt-145, PT-12.2, and RBS-174). After written consent, thrombolysis was started at 22:10hrs on 11.1.2015 with rt-PA, 5.8mg as bolus followed by 52.7mg infusion over one hour. At 5:30hrs on 12.1.2015, he had upper gastrointestinal bleed followed by impairment in consciousness and his NIHSS score increased to 28. Immediate repeat CT scan of the brain revealed extensive infarction of MCA with haemorrhage in the infarct, extensive oedema and midline shift with uncal herniation (Figure 1b). As he had been recently thrombolysed, his repeat coagulation profile was performed (Hb-10.4, Plt-160, PT-15.2, APTT-27.8, FDP- 256mg/dL) including thromboelastography which was classical of fibrinolysis. Eight units of cryoprecipitate and four units of fresh frozen plasma were transfused in the next six hours and repeat thromboelastography was normal. Then the decision was to proceed with decompressive craniectomy (15:30hr on 12.1.15). A bone window of 12cm in the antero posterior direction in the fronto parieto temporal region was created and duroplasty was performed. The procedure was uneventful. He did not receive any blood products in the peri operative period. Brain CT scan was again performed on the following day and it showed resolution of midline shift with no new hematoma (Figure 1c). He was managed in the intensive care unit with gradual weaning of sedation and ventilation. He was discharged in the sixth week on tracheotomy and NIHSS score of 12. Three months later he was admitted for cranioplasty (Figure 1d) and tracheostomy closure with Mrs Score of 3 (Figure 2a & 2b).

Figure 1:   (a) Magnetic resonance imaging of the brain (diffusion weighted image) done at presentation shows acute infarction of the right superior middle cerebral artery. (b) Non contrast CT of the brain done 8 hours after thrombolysis showed haemorrhage in the infarct resulting in mid line shift and mass effect. (c) Non Contrast CT of the brain done on the next day after decompressive craniectomy and hematoma evacuation revealed no new bleed and resolving mass effect.(d) Non Contrast CT of the brain following cranioplasty.

Figure 2:   (a) Thromboelastograph trace obtained after 8hr of thrombolysis with R-1.7min, α-66.80, MA-19.6mm, LY30-97.4%, EPL%-100%. These features are characteristic features of fibrinolysis with normal R time, decreased maximum amplitude (MA), raised LY30 (percentage decrease in maximum amplitude or lysis after 30 minutes) and raised EPL. EPL represents the computer prediction of 30mins clot lysis based on interrogation of actual rate of diminution of the trace commencing 30sec post MA with a normal value of <15%. It is the earliest indicator of abnormal lysis. (b) Thromboelastographic trace obtained after infusion of cryoprecipitate and fresh frozen plasma with R-6min, K-1.5min, α-67.50, MA-49.6mm, LY30-0%, EPL%-0%.

Discussion

Thrombolysis remains the treatment of choice in acute ischemic stroke but with increased risk of symptomatic intracranial haemorrhage (ICH).The mortality in these patients is reported to be as high as 45% [4]. There are a few case reports in literature that state DC might be beneficial in the context of post IVT in patients with refractory cerebral oedema [5]. But the most important void is the optimal time to perform DC following thrombolysis. To the best of our knowledge there is only one prior case report where decompressive craniectomy was performed for intracranial haemorrhage following unsuccessful IVT after 48 hour of thrombolysis [6]. Here we report the index case where symptomatic intracranial haemorrhage followed thrombolysis, and was managed by DC and hematoma evacuation within 24 hours of IVT. This early life saving surgery was possible only after rapid correction of coagulation profile with the help of thromboelastography. As, a large series is difficult to be conducted in such cases, it is of interest to report small experiences as ours where the clinical dilemma of performing a surgery following thrombolysis with rt-PA was guided by thromboelastography.

Recombinant t-PA is an exogenous stimulator of the fibrinolytic system that enhances local fibrinolysis by converting plasminogen to plasmin. Our concern was the increased risk of peri operative haemorrhage associated with high mortality due to the persistent effect of TPA. With regard to the pharmacokinetics, half-life of rt- PA is <5 min, with clearance rate of 380-570mL/min [7]. Hence, 80% of rt-PA is cleared from the plasma within 10 minutes of administration. Despite short half-life of rt-PA fibrinolytic effects peak at 4hours and can persist up to 24-48hours [7]. The clinical dilemma in such a scenario was to wait for the disappearance of the fibrinolytic effects to avoid peri operative bleeding at the cost of outweighing the benefits of early DC in reducing the raised ICP. The other option was to efficiently detect and correct the coagulation abnormality by transfusing specific blood products to minimize the risk of bleeding. We had the benefit of thromboelastography at our institute to guide.com with the correction of the deranged coagulation profile before proceeding for DC. S Takeuchi et al. retrospectively reviewed 20 patients who underwent DC for malignant hemispheric infarction after IV TPA administration, with another 20 patients undergoing DC without prior IV TPA administration [8]. They observed intracranial bleeding or worsening of pre existing ICH in two patients (10%) in each group, but tPA was not thought to be contributory to the hemorrhagic events because of the long intervals between the IV tPA and DC(185 and 136h, respectively). However, fibrinolytic markers, such as fibrinogen or fibrin degradation products were unfortunately not measured in the above series.

Thrombelastography or TEG measures the physical properties of the clot via a pin suspended in a cup from a torsion wire connected with a mechanical-electrical transducer. TEG is different from other coagulation tests as it provides global information on the dynamics of clot development, stabilization and dissolution [9]. It assesses both thrombosis and fibrinolysis. Its role is established in cardiac and liver transplant surgery and is being increasingly explored to study role of fibrinolysis in early trauma coagulopathy [10]. Although routinely tested coagulation parameters (BT, CT, PTI, and APTT) were also normal in our case but TEG was characteristic of enhanced fibrinolysis. Hence, we transfused cryoprecipitate and fresh frozen plasma after which the TEG was normal, and we could proceed with surgery.

Conclusion

Decompressive hemicraniectomy with hematoma evacuation following thrombolysis represents an aggressive life saving treatment approach, especially for the patients who develop hemorrhagic complications of intravenous thrombolysis. TEG is one modality which can guide the reversal of deranged coagulation parameter so that major surgery can be undertaken with minimal risk. The decision to proceed with major surgical intervention requires a competent multi disciplinary team as well as an open discussion with relatives as DC may preserve both life and functional ability in well selected patients. More research is needed in this field to elucidate the potential for both modalities in appropriate patients.

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