#dwarfposting

[bethanythebogwitch]

Dwarf: what the heck is lightning?

Elf: enormous bolts of electricity from the sky that sometimes kill people or set forests on fire

Dwarf: ....

Elf: after they happen the sky roars at you

Dwarf: you're not selling me on this whole "living above ground" thing

Elf: ooh, let me tell you about tornadoes

[greyseerthanquol]

[fine-dining-goals]

drg is a sleeper agent. even the smallest mention of dwarves immediately causes a drg player to black out and wake up to 29 consecutive comments of rock and stone

[panzsan]

Seen a lot of Elf posting on my timeline

[squiddotmid]

my room isn’t messy the floor is just set as a stockpile zone

[zerkwastaken]

[amorphousbl0b]

I think people need to acknowledge that the entire Dwarves vs Elves debate is just whether you prefer bears or twinks

[space-stalagmite]

Industrial sabotoge missions as so fucking funny

Like rival tech builds the most secure compound, turrets everwere in the cave reduntent powrr, backup batteries, whatever the fuck caretaker is

What do you mean 4 short kings with bad attiudes tore the whole thing down, in less than an hour?

[nikotinewithdrawal]

countess: sturdy dwarvern baby you have to stop. You smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you sturdy dwarvern baby:

[osteoptimist]

Random worldbuilding thought. Dwarves that develop a crust of calcium and stone over their skin as they age. They are born as squishy as humans, but become fully firm by the time they are mature. Kind of like an exoskeleton, it's made partially from minerals they consume and so dwarves from different areas have different coloration and texture depending on what kinds of rocks and metals they eat.

The crust keeps developing as the dwarf ages. During their middle years it's a sturdy suit of armor, but an elderly dwarf has trouble moving as the smaller plates around their joints grow and fuse. Can also grow over their eyes and cause other medical issues. It's standard for dwarves to regularly chisel or break off areas to maintain mobility or reduce the weight.

A dwarf that dies of old age essentially becomes a statue. The process also continues after death, effectively fossilizing dwarves so even those that die young appear to be entirely made of stone after a year or so.

Accordingly, famous dwarves are simply displayed as statues in public places, and dwarven tombs are somewhat reminiscent of the rows of Chinese terracotta warriors, generations of a family lined up together. If you broke the statue open, you'd find the fossilized bones inside, which often become more like crystal or opal after death.

If a dwarf had enough metal in their diet, their remains might even be suitable as ore to be processed and forged, so many prominent dwarven families have heirloom weapons made from the remains of their progenitors.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Character concept: dwarf who has never gone above ground and doesn't believe in rain. It doesn't matter how much the party tries to explain the water cycle he's just like "Everyone knows water can't float so how would it get into the sky?". He'd be like the flat earther of the fantasy world

[the-cheese-man]

Ask Me Whether or Not it's a Dwarf, and I'll Tell Ya

First, the rules for dwarfs that exist.

1. The thing they are named after has to physically exist, and can't be the same as another thing, just used for another purpose, it has to be both visually and definably different. It has to be manmade.

2. It HAS to be a THING, no concepts (for example, Love, Death and Home would not be dwarves as those are vague nonphysical concepts. You can't hold a home, and nobody invented it either.) It also cannot be something that was harnessed like fire or heat.

3. At some point new inventions are just repurposed concepts that already exist, a shack and a shed are effectively the same thing the only difference is how it is used, as my brother worded it, "a hair brush and a shit brush both could theoretically be used for the same thing, you probably wouldn't want to though".

It's in the title, comment on this and I'll tell you whether or not it is a dwarf, I'll also add it to

THE LIST

Dwarfs that exist

Wedge

Axle

Pulley

Wheel

Screw

Plane

Blade (cranky bastard)

Sword

Katana

Longsword

Shortsword

Halberd

Spear

Axe

Hammer

House

Cottage

Mansion

Shack

Tavern (very popular among the dwarves)

Beer (also very popular)

Stout (lives in the desert)

Whiskey

Wine

Slave (the other dwarves don't like him, not because he owns slaves, but because he has other people do work he could do himself.)

Farm

Hydraulic (doesn't exist yet but would be a dwarf, from here on abbreviated to FD for future dwarf)

Piston (would be the older brother of Hydraulic, not a future dwarf)

Train

Cup

Flask

Crate

Boat

Net

Light Bulb FD

Book

Library

Drug

Airship

Boat

Submarine (they exist but work differently than actual submarines)

ATV (makes vehicles which work on the earth air and water)

Flintlocke

Musket

Cannon

Canon

Gatling

Smith

Wesson

[deeprockminersunion]

It appears it has come to this. You miners are acting like children.

FO NOT EAT:

-Rockpox

-Any munitions

-Liquid morkite

-Any non union standard beers

-Any native Hoxxes life, ESPECIALLY in azure wield

-Minerals

-Toothpaste

-The rockpox containment solution

Failure to comply will almost certainly result in health risks. Keep yourselves safe, dwarves.

[simknowsstuff]

I found a cool rock

[headdunk]

recent deep rock memes i made

[vitaevictuals]

the dwarfposters in my circles have been DEAD silent after I pointed out-

they're fucking coconuts. hard, hairy outside, liquid inside that makes you shit yourself if you drink too much of it.

dwarves don't hate elves, they're just projecting mommy issues of the tree they fell out of onto anyone taller than them!