#edd's got whatever the fuck is going on with him (i have too many thoughts to post here but seriously i'm worried about the guy)

[doubledyke]

How do you think EddEddy is an abusive pairing?

i don't think their relationship is abusive lol. i think it has the potential to be toxic and annoying, but that's mostly just early on. they fight, they break up, they get back together, rinse and repeat. they both cycle through periods of being too cold or too needy. they've got issues to work out and that's a messy process for 2 giant egos. but they never give up on each other. they've got that whole red thread of fate thing going on.

[rejaytionships]

21 and 84! ~ @sapphilleans

ty for the ask!!! :D

21: Double D (Ed Edd n Eddy) - familial

my baby daughter.......

ok so for context my s/i is linda duvall-kanker (she/her), mother of the three kanker sisters (lee, marie, may). i think she works at the school as a custodian primarily but eventually starts working as a substitute teacher because they're low on staff and she has the prerequisites to teach technically

double d is obviously a stellar student but i think it's equally obvious how anxious they are

idk how we get there but i feel like at some point after linda has told off her daughters for annoying the eds, double d comes to linda sometimes to chat about stuff since linda is very clearly protective despite being one who doesn't exactly like being around men or boys

which makes it a little funny when double d realizes she might not in fact be a boy after all! since double d's parents aren't really around, linda is the adult that she starts to confide gender stuff to, and linda tries her best to be helpful even if she's not super feminine in nature herself

i think her egg got cracked a little when linda started calling her "dee" and she eventually was like "actually can you call me that but like ♀️" and linda was like "sure whatever (said with pro-womanhood intent)"

as an aside i think the eds were 100% supportive of dee's identity (ed didn't really have many thoughts outside of his support, but eddy thought this opened up the door for more scams to try out now that they'd have a woman in the group)

i think dee ends up being more friendly with the kanker sisters mainly because they're STOKED to have another lady friend to talk to. marie also probably lowkey still has her crush on dee but that's another story for another day /lh

i think as dee grows up she still stays in touch with linda, and they'd chat over email while dee is off in college going to change the world or whatever. dee kind of becomes a fourth member of linda's family even if unofficially and so the kankers invite dee to big family events (dee does the same for the kankers)

84: Brahms Heelshire (The Boy) - romantic

AH YES the one f/o i was writing a selfshiptober fic for that i never finished. i can just explain the lore here instead bc let's be real that ficlet is never getting done ajdjskksks

ok so my s/i is celina kaminski (she/her), she moved away from the states to get away from her past (not unlike another previous heelshire mansion resident, greta) and ends up buying the heelshire mansion going for a stupidly low price given nobody else wants the weird creepy haunted place

at first brahms HATES that celina is here and fucks around with stuff in the house to try and get her to leave. he's still busy tantruming over greta being gone so celina in turn is starting to feel like maybe she shouldn't have purchased the haunted house after all

the only thing keeping her sane is this porcelain doll she eventually finds when cleaning around the place. she initially calls it something really stupid (jimmy-hop poppers mcgibbins iii) but once she starts using the name, a paper shows up near the doll not long after; it's an old ruleset for a brahms, so celina takes it as a sign from the house that the doll is named brahms

once brahms (man) sees how well celina treats the doll, he starts to ease up on her and even occasionally does nice things around the house for her to reward her for watching over his doll. this is when he latches himself onto celina emotionally

he still throws fits when celina leaves the house, but eventually gets it through his head that since he scared the previous delivery boy (malcolm) away, celina has to leave to go grocery shopping herself. he still does make a mess around the place though if he feels it's been too long to where she might have left him

brahms finally reveals he's a human person in the walls to celina when greta and malcolm try to convince her to leave as soon as possible. celina doesn't budge because she's convinced that this is some weird long-con for the doll and almost gives it away before brahms shows up, which scares off everyone except celina

sure, she's admittedly still horrified out of her mind, but sticks around because if he hasn't hurt her this whole time, she thinks she can maybe take her chances with him and survive

she does survive and in fact the two end up together because celina thinks brahms is kind of hot and brahms is very dependent on celina's presence to feel functional. far from a perfect relationship but they do end up together pretty solidly otherwise

celina does convince brahms to leave the walls and stay with her in the main house instead, which takes a while to adjust to, but he ADORES that he gets to have direct personal attention now that isn't just vicariously through some fucking doll

it does take a looong while for brahms to also give celina more than like six feet of space. bro would Not have survived the pandemic with his lack of social distancing

they don't ever have any kids but the doll suffices as celina's son. which is fine because she didn't really want any living breathing children to be responsible for. porcelain is a great alternative

[wxrm-pxddxng]

Ch 5 of My life (but the better version)

Matt was here. Matt. Was. Here.

Instant panic ensued in Tord's mind as he thought of everything that could potentially happen. He still didn't exactly have full proof of the whole multiverse idea thing, so he tried to figure out the following:

If by some miracle only Jon and his roommates/toxic-ass boyfriends didn't know about him- maybe they just forgot. And Jon just looked naturally young.

He would try to figure out another option but nothing came up. If Matt remembered him, he would have a second theory, but that was also shaky. Since, of course, he had to come across the second least reliable person in his state of panic. You know, the guy who forgets names of people he literally lives with.

'Can't I find someone with a brain cell?', he asked, not having a brain cell. Then again, he also wasn't sure if he wanted to meet someone like, let's say Tom in case he remembered him.

"So? What are you doing here? The park is cold. I'm only here because my neighbors are fighting again"

Ah, so it was his fault that Matt was here. Great. Without asking, Matt ended up sitting down right next to Tord on the bench- wait when did he sit down? I guess they were both sitting down now.

"Oh, yeah, I'm just… here. Stuff happened, and I'm basically homeless now, and so I came here"

He didn't feel like revealing the absolute shitshow that got him here. No, thanks!

"Oh! Really? You're lucky, our poolroom just lost all its water, if you dry it a bit you can live there! It'll be perfect!"

If mold was perfect, sure. If he remembered right, wouldn't that be Tom's old room then? But that wouldn't make sense since Tord was unknown to everyone, so he never moved in and therefore never moved out. But wait, was this a good idea?

He was so unsure. So he got lost in his brain all over again.

"Perfect…"

He repeated what Matt had said while thinking about those possibilities. The voice beside him gave a hum and just grabbed his arm.

"Perfect!"

Matt also repeated, seemingly taking the repetition as Tord agreeing.

"Wait no that's not-"

"Huh? Oh, right! Where are your things?"

"I don't really have anything with me"

"SHOPPING TIME! I mean- I'm so sorry for you?"

"... It's fine?"

"GREAT! Let's go!"

And just like that they were off to the mall, no more questions asked. They spent the day there, and while it seemed to have been Matt's original plan to buy things for Tord, most of the bags that ended up being carried home by him were Matt's things- did he really need that many clothes? They were all the same shade of purple anyway. It was pointless. But for him, he got a bag of stuff including clothes, and he felt more relaxed about meeting the others at the end. He ended up deciding that he would need a new name - he wasn't sure why, but the idea of being called his own name made him feel sick. Maybe it was because he related it to the past, maybe his dysphoria decided that he needed a name switch again, but whatever the case, he decided that he won't keep it.

That thought continued to run through his head repeatedly until they were home, so he was too distracted by it to notice that Jon, Eduardo, and Mark had stopped fighting. And he didn't pay attention to the fact that they were home now, but that was made obvious soon enough, when Matt opened the door and two voices came through.

"Took you long enough, if I cared I would have been worried."

"Any interesting junk you found?"

Tom and Edd questioned respectively, not bothering to wait their turn, so it ended up being more or less a mess of words.

Tord could understand them just fine though, despite the long times he spent away from them. He could never forget their habits. Speaking of Tord, he was just sort of standing in the doorway, the last bit of panic for the day rushing through him. They wouldn't recognize them, would they? He would just hope the name wasn't obvious enough. Maybe stealing the one from the news guy wasn't enough? Okay, no, that wasn't much of a common name. The only other person he knew who would have that name wasn't a person, but a fucking chipmunk. And not even the right color.

"Hey, clothes are NOT junk! I was at the mall and I got-"

"Huh, could've sworn you were at the yard sa-"

"Actually I just realized, why would he be at- why would Eduardo be doing a yard sale in the first place?"

"Right. There weren't any price tags. His lawn was probably just messy"

"His lawn was messy?"

Tord questioned out loud, turning the heads of everyone involved in the conversation.

"I mean- whose lawn?"

He corrected himself quickly.

Fin redde (Nice save) he thought.

"And who are you supposed to be?"

Tom's empty eyes piercing right through Tord's soul. If Edd looked more threatening, Tord was sure he would say the same thing about his eyes. Then again, he could say much about all of their-

"This is my friend! He didn't have a home! He's- what is your name?"

A classic Tom facepalm was heard.

"So let me get this straight-"

Well, that's gonna be hard.

"-you picked some one-armed hobo off of the street and decided to just take him here without asking us first, and you don't even know his name?"

A cola can was thrown at the one who spoke. Tord just felt stupid already.

Matt put a finger to his chin, almost looking like he was thinking. Then he nodded quickly.

"Pretty much, yes!!"

Tom rubbed his head from the cola can, his head turned in Edd's direction. There was a silent conversation between them, followed by Edd poking Tom before replying.

"This might as well happen, you can stay."

"If you say who the fuck you are"

Tom added.

Now, the moment of truth. Or the moment of- what was the opposite of truth in English again? Distruth? Untruth? He'll go with untruth. All he had to do was say the name. He gripped his sleeve, trying not to hesitate too much.

"What? Did you forget your-"

"I'm Theo. Theodore."

He managed to tell them, a smile crossing his face. A chorus of name introductions followed, including Matt who had forgotten that he already introduced himself like 5 times in the mall. He didn't listen, he already knew them. But… the anxiety faded away, slowly. He wasn't known. Now he was sure, he could start over as someone else entirely, someone completely free from his history. And so, eventually, a small smile found its way onto his face.

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[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Things that change

A/N/ this was requested by an anon, I hope you enjoy! I’m really sorry if it's not what you wanted it to be, I’m sorry! Let me know what you think! 

summary:  may i suggest richie and eddie post chapter 2 moving in together? feel like a lot of fics don’t focus on the cute bits i want, like richie being so confused at all of eddies kitchen appliances, learning how to make actual coffee with a cafetiere, then eddie being shocked that richies actually a great cook.

Richie is not consciously aware of the small changes Eddie is making in his house, mostly because he barely sees the house, traveling from one place to the other for the majority of six weeks, until he comes home one day, when his tour is finally completed, and it hits him in the face like a pair of bricks.

He just got home after going on tour through the country, where he lived 24 hours a day on a bus that was older then fucking Pennywise himself, the brakes making a peeping sound whenever the bus driver’s foot so much as touched the paddle, making him fear for his life every day. His routine is honestly a little disgusting, even he knew that. Before Eddie came along he survived on frozen pizza’s for about five days a week, and the other two days he ordered in Chinese. After Neibolt and reconnecting with the losers, Richie had figured that his life would go back to what it was, minus the Chinese food of course. He doesn’t know if he can ever stand the smell of Chinese ever again.

That wasn’t quite what happened however. Richie had plans to stay at Eddie side until the latter was healed and was allowed to go home. Richie hadn’t been sure what ‘home’ even meant to Eddie, but he didn’t want to express how he felt only to be punched in the face by it, regardless of how much he wanted Eddie to like him. Sitting by Eddie’s bedside had almost been worse than facing Pennywise, because that was real. He could touch Eddie and he would be solid, and Eddie was actually his best friend, not a rendition of Pennywise, and that made it even more scary.

Richie had fully accepted that he would remain single and alone without Eddie, by the time Eddie was training to go to the bathroom by himself. But no, brave, intimidating and insanely hot Eddie Kaspbrak had different ideas. While Richie spluttered around words and doing everything in his power to keep the subject off of his feelings about Eddie almost dying, Eddie surged forward and connected their lips in messy, but passionate kiss.

It had shook Richie to his core, who had frozen up, as one does when the guy they’ve been in love with since they were barely preteens.

And it made Richie fall even more in love with Eddie, how he could set his mind to something and think fuck it, before doing it without wasting another second. . Sometimes, late at night while Eddie was sound asleep, Richie would talk to him. During the day Eddie and him would spend most of their rime bickering, which Richie was more than fine with. He absolutely loved the way him and Eddie reacted to each other, they way they teased and pushed and waited for the inevitable reaction from the other person. That was all little Richie had ever wanted from adult life, to continue to have Eddie’s attention on him at all times.

He did give Eddie plenty of affection, he was always giving him compliments, but he disguised it in a sarcastic tone, turning it into a joke whenever Eddie got too close to finding out what he was truly feeling in that moment.

But when Eddie was snoring almost inaudible, which he would deny to the day he died, Richie told him how he truly thought about things, how much he truly loved Eddie. The love he shared for the man is blinding in it’s intensity, and he’s afraid of getting blinded by it if he looks to deep into his feelings, but mostly he’s afraid that Eddie would get blinded. He doesn’t want to lose Eddie now, after all the shitload they’ve been through, just because Richie was too clingy and forward for Eddie’s liking.

Especially since he was the one who asked Eddie to move in with him. Eddie had appeared so panicked, and paused for so long that Richie was afraid he would burst into hysteric laughter and confess to Richie that he was only kidding the entire time. Thankfully he didn’t, Richie didn’t know what he would have done if that had been the case. Instead, a smile took over Eddie’s face, the one that he rarely showed but meant he was utterly full with happiness, and said; ‘of course Rich.’, with the same fondness in his voice he always and exclusively used for Richie.

The actual road to getting Eddie to move in with Richie practically, had been harder then either expected. It took Eddie another three months before being released from the hospital, and even that had been a hassle.

When Eddie was in week seven of his revalidation, he was very nearly discharged, if it hadn’t been for himself. He claimed that he wasn’t ready yet, that he felt the wound on his chest itch and that puss was coming out. Richie was almost mad at first, blaming Eddie’s hesitance on leaving the hospital on the fact that he was looking for excuses to get out of his promise to Richie to live together, but then he had looked up signs of an infection, and came to the conclusion that Eddie was right.

The skin around the wound was bright red, Eddie was in real pain whenever he moved, even when the week before it hadn’t hurt at all, and as soon as Richie ghosted his hand over the wound, he could feel the heat radiate for the scar.

Unfortunately, the hospital staff hadn’t believed them, curtsy to Sonia Kaspbrak for bringing Eddie in so many times when there was nothing wrong with him. They were forced to go to a different hospital where they did take them seriously, and Richie had spent weeks negotiating with the first hospital to make a damage claim.

So yeah, sue Richie for being the most happy person on earth when he finally managed to haul Eddie’s ass across the country to LA. Until he realized that thanks to Eddie’s infected injury, he had to leave for tour the day after they would make it home, causing Eddie to be by himself to settle into the house.

God knows Richie tried to change the tour dates, but Steve was ready to kill him, and thanks  to the disasters last show he had, for which he definitely had an excuse he couldn’t tell fucking anyone about, he had no other choice but to leave so he could try to save what little of his career was left.

He had asked Mike to stay over for a while, and he had almost insisted enough, but his plans changed when Eddie caught wind of what he was trying to achieve. Eddie refused to let Mike babysit him, adamantly wiping all the argument card Richie had from the table with a firm hand. Eddie wasn’t about to saddle Mike with the responsibility of taking care of an injured man, after all he had done by staying in Derry.

Richie had wanted to argue, but out of fear of sounding to much like Myra and Sonia, he proposed to Eddie that he’d have a nurse come over once a week, to which Eddie agreed, and then backed off. He was fine with anything as long as Eddie was safe.

The only times he could spend with Eddie at home were the short intervals between performances, during which Richie hurried to catch a plane, still fearing a little that Eddie had made the decision to leave when he was gone.

He never was. He resigned himself every time to sit on the black, leather sofa, while facing the tv and the door as well slightly, while eating whatever salad he had cooked up. It appeared to be a routine, because Richie would always know exactly where Eddie would be when he walked in the door. It was something so small and insignificant to most, but to Richie, it felt like the entire world stopped spinning for a moment, caught up in the fact that Eddie Kaspbrak loved him of all people.

It warmed his insides that Eddie waited for him before eating no matter how late it got, and saved him a plate, placed neatly on the table across from his own. It was by far the moment he always looked forward too regardless of what he was doing. Nothing could top those moments.

That was the first thing Richie should have noticed when he returned to his house, but Richie wouldn’t be Richie if he wasn’t so caught up in Eddie, that he failed to see what was happening right in front of him.

The second thing he should have noticed was all the new shit his apartment had miraculously produced apparently, but again, he was too busy basking in the beauty of his boyfriend, that he glossed over the new materials like they weren’t even there.

To be fair to him though, he had been barely seen the inside of the home, but he still almost wants to hit himself over the head for ignoring the obvious.

Now though, now he’s finally home for good, or at least till he starts his new tour, he sees everything in a different light. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon when Richie dropped his bags next to the front door, kicked of his shoes, and sleepily shuffled towards the first seating area he could occupy, which would be the couch.

It’s not very comfortable to lay on it, but it would do, since Richie had serious doubts that his muscle would cooperate with him if he tried to move.

Eddie wasn’t home, a bit of a shame really, but he had to go to physio training, and Richie had insisted he went. Eddie more than likely would have gone even without Richie’s blessing, but it was nice to know Richie cared about Eddie enough to put his needs above his wants.

Which means he is home alone with just him and his thoughts to entertain him. The house is complete silent as he skipped walking towards the tv remote to turn it in, and the atmosphere in the room was the same as before Derry, Richie didn’t like it.

So, before he could spiral in a dark, depressing self-doubt that followed him around like a dark cloud, he rolled of the sofa, groaning when he landed it bit harshly. He wanted to sleep badly, but he was adamant about waiting for Eddie before he did, and he knew Eddie would not kiss him unless he showered, so he sighed as he stumbled towards the bathroom.

Again, if he had any brain cells left, he might have taken notice of all the new products laying around on the wash table, however he shook off the feeling of something being off, stripping naked and stepping under a stream of ice cold water.

Richie liked his water cold, he always has from since he was a kid, and he adjusted the temperature from time to time, but never enough for the water to be actually warm. It took a second to register, but the water was scolding hot.

He hisses instantly, jumping out of reach of the shower, already reaching out to damper the warmth.

He frowns in confusion, he’s not exactly sure how that’s possible for a second, until his mind catches up and he realizes that it must have been Eddie that changed it.

He shrugged to himself, laughing when he realized how much of a fool he must look like when he does, than he continues on as he would usually do.

It’s when he tries to take hold of his shampoo with his eyes closed, and he can’t feel the familiar carton of the body wash he’s used for years, that he recognizes that it’s not longer at it’s usual spot.  

‘What’, he mutters while opening his eyes. The body wash is nowhere to be find. In fact, neither is any shampoo he has a habit of using. There nothing in the shower, or the shower holder, so Richie allowed himself three seconds of mentally preparing, before he darts back out of the shower, nearly freezing as he looks around his bathroom for something to use.  

It’s so cold that Richie wraps his arms around himself in a futile attempt to keep himself warm, while glancing around the room in a hast. There is a variety of shower goods stacked neatly on top of each other, most of which Richie has no idea what they mean.

The names on there don’t ring any bells either, so he stares and tries to figure it out, but it’s getting even colder fast, and the waterdrops are drying on his skin without him even using a towel, so he makes the executive decision of grabbing the first bottle he can get his hands on.

He’s not wearing his glasses, so he can’t read the name of what it is he is holding in his hands, but he can see a picture of a lemon on the front, and figures that it’s a nice enough smell to use. It’s not as good as his usual body wash, Richie decides after he’s covered most of his body in the substance. The smell is a bit too persistent for Richie’s taste, and it feels way thicker than the one he had before, but he is still tired, and mostly just looking for a way to finish up as soon as he can.

When he gets out of the shower again, this time with a town at his disposal, and he has reset his glasses so he can finally see again, he takes another look at all the things that are in his bathroom. And there is a lot. Even now that he can read what they’re called, he still can’t place most of these names, and he’s pretty sure he’s never even heard of some of these.

Richie’s getting interested in what else Eddie has brought into his home without him paying attention to it, so he goes out and checks his bedroom. There’s nothing out of the ordinary, and he figures that the longer he spends inside the room, the more he might get tempted to take a nap, so he exists again.

He looks at the clock and comes to the realization that Eddie is not going to be home yet for at least 30 more minutes, so he figures he might aswell make some food while he waits. He’s really desperate to see Eddie again after so long.

He walks into the newly placed kitchen, his hand drumming on top of every cabinets he passes until he reaches the one on the far left, the one where he stores his food, and opening it with a soft click. His manager had insisted on him having a decent looking kitchen for when guests came over, even if Richie never cooked for himself anyway, but Richie was happy with the end result.

He liked cooking, it was something his mom had taught him when he was just little, and he can remember preparing a few meals for his friends under the disguise of his mother being the one who had made it, beaming when all his friends complimented the dishes.

He stopped after moving out for college however, because cooking for himself made his heart ache more for some reason, as if he was reminding himself that he was all by himself, and nobody to share his talent with.

He threw something together once in a while, something that was very fatty and he should most definitely not eat, but did anyway because why fucking not.

He was so excited when Eddie agreed to move in with, he couldn’t wait to show off what he could do, but unfortunately he didn’t have that option before. He was going to make up for it though.

In his mind, he’s already picturing the meal he’s going to surprise Eddie with, his mind imagining some French fries with a steak and a butter sauce, knowing for sure that he left some fried down in the freezer, but when he opens the pantry, it’s full of stuff he had not bought.

There’s vegetables, and fruit, and plant based butter and a whole lot of healthy and fresh ingredients, which he has not used in forever.

He rummages through most of it, trying to locate anything he used to eat, but he comes up empty handed. He’s standing in his own kitchen deflating a little, for he has no idea what the hell happened in his own damn kitchen.

He sees all these new equipment taking up space, and he has no idea what they are supposed to be used for or even how to use them. His old espresso machine is gone, and in place is an old one he remembers seeing his parents make coffee in, and where his water boiler once stood, now stand a whole new teamaker, completed with fresh tea placed next to it.

He can’t help but his competitive side coming up, feeling as if Eddie was sure that Richie couldn’t cook with fresh ingredients, or with the new kitchen tools he bought, or even cook at all. Richie is going to show him just how wrong he is.

‘Alright Kaspbrak, bring it on.’ Richie is determined to show Eddie that he can make fresh food as good as whatever frozen things he used to make, so he gets work straight away.  

Eventually, he decides on making Chicken Parm Stuffed Peppers, recalling the recipe at the top of his head from when he was a kid. It more nutrition in this one meal that Richie is making now, than there has been in the last three years of his life. That fact doesn’t quite set in until Eddie walks through the door, carrying two bowls of salad from the salad bar downtown.

Eddie stops once he sees that Richie is cooking, raising an eyebrow. ‘Can you cook or are you just trying to poison me?’

Richie downward whines when he sees the salad, because he’s suddenly realizing that he had been eating healthy with Eddie the entire time he was home, even though he had never done that before in most of his adult life.

‘You changed me eds’, he says overexaggerating but still meaning the words that come out of his mouth.’

Eddie’s face turns into a scowl, even as he come closer to Richie and presses a soft kiss to his lips. ‘Shut up asshole.’

‘No wait I’m serious, I come on.’ Richie leads the way to the bathroom, hoping Eddie is following him despite Richie behaving like a child.

‘Look, look at all those body washed Eddie Spaghetti. Tell me how I’m supposed to make sense of that?’

‘Oh my god, do not tell me you can’t tell the difference between bath oil, body scrub, body wash, body moisturizer and body butter you idiot.’

Richie stares quietly at Eddie, not having an answer because of course he had no idea what the difference was between all of these things, who did?

‘Are you kidding me asshole? Please tell me you used the correct body wash, please I’m begging you.’

‘I used that one’, Richie says as he points to the body butter. Seeing Eddie’s reaction makes him burst out in hearty laughter, his stomach starting to hurt at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

Eddie is very clearly not amused, but Richie can see the small smile he’s doing his best to hide, even if he knows Richie will be able to see right through him.

‘I mean come on Eds, not even your mom used this much. And trust me I’d know because I saw her do it plenty after-‘

‘You fucked her yeah I know, I know asshole. And don’t call me Eds’

When Richie is done laughing, he walks back to the kitchen, pointing out all things that were not there before Richie left. The longer he explains, the more the smirk on Eddie’s face grows.

‘Look at this, what is this? I don’t eat healthy food, I eat take out every single day. And how do you even use this old school coffee thing?’

‘You mean a cafetiere?’ Eddie deadpans.

‘Whatever. And holy shit Eds I hadn’t even seen this we have plates mats now? What are we a fancy restaurant?’

Eddie rolls his eyes at Richie, throwing his arms up in a fed up movement.

‘So I like my stuff what’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing I just don’t know what to do with all of this.’

Eddie can hear the hidden meaning behind the words just from Richie’s tone alone. It translates into saying; I don’t know if I’m good enough for you, I don’t know if I’m enough.

Eddie reaches forward again, squishing Richie’s cheeks between his hands. Listen to me Richie, you’re fine. It’s okay if you don’t like all of this, we can change that. I was just alone by myself and I didn’t have your opinion on anything. Now that you’re here, we can compromise okay?’

He waits until Richie nods confirmatively before pressing their lips together tightly as if it was the last time they got to kiss. When they pulled back, Richie scrunched his nose up as he smelled something burning.

It took a second for the penny to drop, before he piped up, rushing towards the stove. ‘My peppers.’

Eddie laughs as hidden as he can, not wanting to make it appear as if he was laughing at Richie. It’s clear however, that the food he was preparing is done and over with, the smoke evaporating before his very eyes. Richie looks like a kicked puppy, looking dejected over the edge of his glasses to see if Eddie was looking at him too.

‘Come on, I’ll order something in for once.’

Richie huffed while he trudged over to where Eddie was standing. ‘I can cook you know, you just distracted me.’

‘I know Rich, remember when you used to take meals with you and claim they were your mother’s?’

Richie stares at Eddie shell shocked, completely surprised that Eddie knew about his secret;

‘You thought I didn’t know, come on now Richie, you’re not in love with a guy for years and don’t notice his telltales of lying.’

Later, when they ordered their food and they’re watching tv, Eddie catches Richie glancing at the cafetiere.

‘Don’t even think about it’, he warns coldly.

‘Oh come on Eds, you have to let me try to use it some time. It could be like a teacher roleplay, I’ll be the student and you’ll be the hot teacher.’ Richie winks at Eddie like he just won something.

‘Yeah  not a change in hell asshole.’

[vampanic]

okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also  there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this. 

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

[statistically-unlikely-monster]

Jon’s Not Dead

Chapter 2 Part 1

It’s finally here! I honestly didn’t think I would get this far with the story, but here we are. As I have said, Bing and Larry are in this part, though it’s pretty brief. There’s also a small bit featuring Dr. Devin, my Eddsworld OC that had a small cameo in the Prologue. (If you guys feel like it, you can send me some asks about him.) Without further delay, here it is.

Tord and Eduardo sat on separate beds in the infirmary, waiting for the doctor to finish patching up Paul. The poor guy was bashed up, but luckily didn't break anything. Despite this, the doctor scolded him as he cleaned up his bloodied wounds.

"You are lucky to still be alive." Dr. Devin grumbled, just barely understandable with his thick German accent.

Paul interjected, "Hey, I didn't want to get slapped into a wall!" 

"I did not say you wanted to. I said you could have died. You all need to be careful. I cannot cure death."

Tord interjected, trying to stop another fistfight between Paul and the doctor, "Speaking of which, how was that experiment with the dead mice going?"

Dr. Devin cleared his throat,"Not good. The muscles move, but still not alive. What about you sir? Do you have a backup plan?"

With an awkward chuckle Tord admitted to him, "Well...Not really. I was banking on this being it. He had his friend, I had my book, and we both go separate ways."

"Aw c'mon, you gotta have something." Eduardo butted in with a groan.

"Like what exactly?"

"I don't know? Like uh…you could build a robot of him." Eduardo paused, trying to think of something just so he could prove his point, "Uh...look I'm blanking here, but I'm just trying to say that there's gotta be something you can pull out of your sleeves."

"What am I, a magician?"

Eduardo shrugged, “Not exactly what I was going for, but sure.”

Tord grumbled under his breath. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Eduardo had a point. He was the Red Army Leader for crying out loud. He was on a path to world domination, and yet here he was tripping over one little setback in his plans. No, Tord was many things, but he wasn’t about to be a quitter.

As luck would have it, he knew just the person that had something he could use, and that said person owed him. Nodding to himself, he turned to the doctor, “Dr. Devin, bring me the phone please." Dr. Devin nodded wordlessly and fetched him an old Nokia that had been sitting on the desk. Thanking him, Tord quickly dialed the number of his good “friends” Bing and Larry, “Hey, I- DON'T HANG UP DON'T HANG UP! ...Yeah I know, I've been busy...Stuff...Look, that does not matter. You still owe me a favor, remember? ... This will be quick, I promise. I just need to borrow that cloning machine- what? ...How does something that big accidentally fall out the window? ...Oh. You can make another one, right? ...If I help, will you do it? ...Great! Thank you! ...Yeah, see you soon Bing!" Hanging up, he turned to the rest of the group with a smug grin, ”Greit, Bing is going to help us out!"

"And who the hell is that?" Eduardo replied.

“Long story, but he cloned me back when I was living with Edd.” Tord casually explained as if it were a daily occurence, ”He still has the machine, so we can clone your friend and get this whole thing done with.” Now the only problem is getting something with his DNA on it."

"Would a piece of his shirt work?" Eduardo held up a scrap of blue fabric that he pulled out from his wallet. It was the only thing he had left to remember Jon with, so he was reluctant to leave it at home.

"Yeah, that should be good. Bing should be here sometime soon, so in the meantime- I think I need a nap." Tord yawned and settled himself back down on one of the infirmary beds.

”Dude, you just woke up.”

”And now I’m tired. Wake me up when Bing gets here.”

”Aye aye captain.” Eduardo spat sarcastically with an exaggerated salute.

With Paul and Tord passed out, it was just him and Dr. Devin. For whatever reason, the doctor gave him a bad feeling. As far as he had seen, Devin had been the live-in mother for the army, so there really was no reason for his suspicion. Sure, there was the fact that he had stitches all over that made him resemble Frankenstein, but other than that he was a normal guy.

”Eduardo, ja?” Dr. Devin interrupted his thoughts by nudging his shoulder “Are you feeling well? You seem lost in thought.” He put the back of his hand to Eduardo’s forehead to check for a fever.

Eduardo pushed his hand away, ”Yeah, I’m fine.”

The doctor knowingly nodded with a faint crack of a smile, ”You have a bad feeling about me, right?”

”Huh?” Eduardo questioned, “How did you know?”

He shrugged, softly chuckling to himself, ”It runs in my family. No matter what, we all end up looking like villains from those hero comics. At this point, I am used to it.”

”Oh. Kinda weird trait to pass on, but okay.” He replied, feeling an uneasy knot tie up in his stomach. He tried to hide it by doing his best poker face, but judging from the doctor’s expression, he wasn’t hiding how he felt too well.”

Dr. Devin chuckled again, silver eyes piercing through Eduardo like daggers.”Oh, that is just um...what is the phrase...the top of the ice.” A muted knock cut their conversation short, “Ah, that must be Bing. That was quick. Can you let him in please?” The doctor was back to acting like his normal, motherly self, almost as if the threatening exchange never happened.

Regardless, Eduardo wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to get away from the creep. Swinging open the door, he was met with two men holding boxes of metal parts.

”Well, it took awhile, but I got all the pieces I could find. Serves me right for thinking monkeys could man the machine.” The man Eduardo assumed was Bing sighed, shaking his head for his own mistake. 

The man behind him stood there looking bored out of his mind, “Where’s Tord at? I thought he wanted us.”

Eduardo gestured behind him with his thumb, ”He’s asleep. You can try waking that loser up if you want.”

”Pass.” Bing replied, brushing past to set the boxes in the middle of the room along with a rolled up piece of blue paper.

"Suit yourself. "How does this thing even go together?'

"Oh yeah, just follow the blueprints, should be straightforward. I got to go real quick, but I'll be back to check in. Good luck." Bing and the other man left as quickly as they came without even looking back.

"Fucking asshole making me do all this crap. I don't even know what half of this stuff is. How did he expect me to do it myself?" Eduardo growled to himself, thinking about how he had to put together a machine while Tord napped. Luckily for him, one of the soldiers passed through the hallway,"Paul, can you help me?"

"Sure, but I'm Patryk." Patryk stepped in with his cup of coffee, curiously staring at the boxes of what looked like scrap metal.

Eduardo replied, "Close enough. Can you figure out any of this?" He passed the blueprints to Patryk before digging through the different pieces to try and decipher how any of them gone together.

“Kinda surprised with how simple it is." Patryk remarked after a few silent minutes of him studying the messy diagrams.

Eduardo craned his neck to look at it himself, "That's simple? All I can make out is weird white lines on blue paper."

"Yeah. It's almost like looking at instructions for building furniture though. All we need to do is put the pieces in the right spot. No welding or anything." Patryk sat his coffee down on a nearby table, scratching his head, "Looks like there might be a few things missing."

Eduardo shrugged, "Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine."

[stormbornspawn]

Winterfell - Season 8, Episode 1 Review

My thoughts on every (I think every? let me know if I missed any) scene from the Season 8 premiere episode.

Arrival - there was nothing wrong with this scene at all. Everything about it was expected. The northerners being apprehensive is exactly what I anticipated. Give it up for Jon and Dany looking regal AF in this scene. Good lord. Arya watching this whole scene play out was really great as a call back to season 1. Love the proud mama look from Dany as her babies fly overhead and scare the living shit out of everyone below. And did you notice her hair is in the shape of a heart? Tyrion and Varys banter is always welcomed and encouraged.

Winterfell courtyard - frosty is the only word that really feels right here. Dany’s trying to make a good impression and doesn’t get pressed when nobody kneels. Jon bent the knee - they should be on their knees, but no worries. She’s gonna overlook that cuz it’s her boo-thang’s family. All in good time. Bran coming up with the - we have no time for this - and dropping the Viserion bomb was way too rushed. This is the first issue I have with this episode. Dany’s dragons are often referred to as her children, yet hearing that one of them has been enslaved is completely glossed over and cut to next scene. This should have been a much bigger deal. Not just for Dany, but for everyone. Jon should have needed to take her somewhere to console her...you know, somewhere private...

The Great Hall - how many times does JOn have to remind these people that they are going to die without Dany’s help? Do they not believe him? I realize there are only a few people that have actually seen the army of the dead, but come on. I don’t expect anyone to be swearing fealty to Dany at this point, but a modicum of appreciation would be nice. She abandoned her campaign for this war and lost a dragon. Why did nobody bring this up? Lyanna Mormont needs to sit down - she almost called Jon a bastard and I was about to come up out of my chair. Sansa whinging about food - like, you knew they were coming and you are just now concerned about this? Dany holding her composure through that took some serious control. Her little clap back was good - whatever they want - that’s right, because they’re goddam dragons. I did like that Jon and Dany seemed to inch closer and closer to each other throughout the scene and the little look while Tyrion was talking was cute. Tyrion was well-intentioned, but they still won’t listen.

Sansa and Tyrion - I was waiting for this reunion and it did not disappoint. I would have liked to see Tyrion quell some of Sansa’s concerns as it relates to Dany. I was a tad concerned about the side eye that Bran was giving Tyrion at the end. Bran knows some things, so I’m curious what goods he has on Tyrion.

Jon & Arya - LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I was prepared to be underwhelmed here, but her jumping into Jon’s arms was everything I needed. The talk about family and Sansa being the smartest person Arya knows - yeah, didn’t see Arya siding with Sansa over Jon, but I get it. How is that dynamic of supporting family going to play out when it’s public knowledge that Jon is not their brother, but a cousin? I was also a little miffed that nobody brought up Littlefinger and that Dany and Arya were not formally introduced.

Euron/Yara/Cersei/Theon/GC - This whole segment of the show was just okay for me. I didn’t care for the dialogue. I love Pilou as an actor, but some of his lines were just cringe - I’m gonna put a prince in your belly. Like, wtf? I kind of felt a little bad for Cersei (well, not really) that she had to sleep with him and Lena brought the power in the after math of that scene. She’s brilliant and it will be the travesty of the year if she doesn’t finally get her Emmy. Theon finally rescuing Yara and making the decision to go and fight for the Starks - let’s get that ball rolling...even though I really enjoy Yara, I don’t think we will see her until way later in the season. The GC - and no elephants - wtf? Well, whatever...I would have rather had Ghost - and that’s the second big thing wrong with this episode. There was plenty of time.

Bronn - why? Completely unnecessary to have all the tits and ass in this episode. I know it’s classic GOT, but we are all over that element, I think, and it could have easily been him in a brothel and Qyburn comes to see him without all that sexposition. I don’t like the crossbow thing especially with all the talk about Dany getting hit with an arrow or a well-placed bolt.

Davos/Tyrion/Varys - can we give it up for Davos finally speaking the truth - Dany is a just woman and Jon is an honorable man - yes, please. Get married, make babies, and save the realm. Why Varys and Tyrion weren’t all over that - I don’t know. Tyrion wasn’t completely opposed to it, but Varys seemed rather extra cynical just then.

Jon & Dany - a lot to break down in this scene. Dany knows Sansa hates her and is really concerned that if she can’t even get her to respect her than the north is not going to fall in line either - that’s my interpretation of the scene. Jon saying that Sansa didn’t like them when they were growing up either was cute. Now, why in the hell are my baby dragons not eating? They hate the north? Or maybe, just maybe, they can sense that their momma isnt quite welcome there and they are feeling that emotion. I am shook that Jon got to ride the dragon (well, another one ;)) before learning about his Targ history. I saw this scene as Dany really letting him know, babe, I love you and I am willing to let you babysit my kids if needed. That 1000 years comment is coming back around again for sure. That waterfall and smooching scene was not for me - I ship them and know they are in love - that scene was for anyone that didn’t really pay attention in season 7 or read any interviews from anyone ever to just solidify that they are truly in love. Okay - it was for me too - I’m on my 3,487th rewatch. My prediction for why the dragons are acting funny - they know momma is carrying that man’s baby and they are overprotective. @me

Jon & Sansa - Sansa, why? All these two do is argue and it’s starting to piss me off. She says she trusts Jon and has faith in him, but then doesn’t trust Jon and has no faith in his decisions. They needed Dany and her armies and dragons and he got her to come there. This is why he left in the first place. She does have a valid question though - did you bend the knee for the north or because you love her? It’s a legit question, JON!! Answer. It’s both. That is the big theme of this season - love versus duty - and Jon can do both and will need to balance them both.

Arya/Gendry/Hound - the Hound and Arya was hysterical and I love the banter between Arya and Gendry. It’s like they picked up right where they left off. Can’t wait to see where this goes.

Dany/Sam/Jorah - This is tough for me. I am a Dany stan through and through, but I did not agree with her decision to burn the Tarly’s. At least not both of them. I do find it hypocritical when people chastise her for something that men have done for ages and hold her to a different standard though. I didn’t care for what she did, but I understand it. Sam’s reaction was expected and I do feel very sorry for him. I wish Dany had exhibited a little bit of remorse. Even if she wasn’t sorry, knowing he is JOn’s best friend, should have made her say - I’m so sorry. Just something.

The Reveal - I hated everything about this. Sam didn’t tell Jon as a friend. He told him in a fit of rage to try and turn Jon against Dany. I’m not okay with this. Jon wasn’t having it either. Jon executed Janos Slynt for much less. And Sam is the same person who told Jon they needed Roose BOlton’s help after the Red Wedding and told Olly to forget about his family being slaughtered by the Wildings. It’s a bit different when it’s your own family, but double standards much? Jon wasn’t having it, so I’m good with that - he’s still gonna have some words with his queen later. The reveal pissed me off because I think Sam should have come at it from a place of tenderness and instead it was bitterness about Dany and this news is gonna fuck her up. He doesn’t know they are together and he doesn’t really know her. I was pissed AF with the line - you gave up your crown for your people - would she do the same? Okay - when is someone going to bring up the fact that Jon bent the knee AFTER she agreed to fight for the north? And, please - she abandoned her fight for King’s Landing to turn her armies north and help fight. So, yeah, she would. This was the scene I was most disappointed with. John and Kit did a great job, but the writing was atrocious. All I can see is that they are setting this episode up to carry all the angst forward until the Night King is knocking on their door and then - just as Jon said - it won’t matter.

Umber - what the actual fuck? But I’m glad to see Tormund, Beric, and Edd.

Jaime/Bran - he’s waiting for an old friend!! GAAAHHHH!! I can’t wait to see the shit storm that his presence is going to bring in episode 2. That preview got my dragon momma heated.

Overall, I’d give the episode a 7/10. It was definitely not the strongest episode in the series and I blame that on choppy transitions and weird almost campy dialogue. Episode two better bring a little more grounding to the show, because I was not overly impressed with those 54 minutes. There were some great things that happened - dragon date, arrival, reunions, and how much was my girl Dany smiling this episode?? I’ve never seen her smile this much in seven seasons. Guess a good dicking down and falling in love will do that to you. The dialogue and lack of timeline really killed it for me though. As well as the glossing over of what I thought were really important storylines.

Let me know if you want to discuss.

[itisneverahappyending]

A Raven Among Crows: Pt 9

You’re a woman disguised as a man at The Wall, but no one knows.

Part Seven Part Eight  Part Ten

(Y/N)= Your Name

(Y/L/N)= Your Last Name

Warning: Blood, Murder, Mentions of Rape, and Harsh Words 

“(Y/N), Hey, wake up,” a voice called out. Your eyes flutter open to see Sam, Jon, Grenn and Pyp gathered around your bed. You lean up and notice you’re in your underdress. 

“Hey, hey, take it easy there,” Sam said as he helps you up. You rub your head and rub your eyes. 

“What happened?” you asked. 

“Locke said you just fainted, Grenn carried you to us,” Jon said. 

You look at Grenn, flustered boy twiddling his thumbs. “Is this true, Grenn?”

“Aye. I was going to talk to you about the mission but I saw you just fell and Locke said that you did too, just out of no where,” Grenn said. 

“If this mission is too much (Y/N), then you should stay here,” Jon said. 

“What? No! Don’t you dare leave me here!” you screamed. 

“I don’t think that’ll be a good idea, with Thorne here, who knows what they would do to her,” Grenn said. 

“Are you sure?” Jon asked you. 

“Yes, I-I know I fainted but maybe because the cold wind hit me too fast,” your words trailed off. “Locke didn’t say anything else?” 

“Nothing, just you two talked about mission and then fainted, nothing more,” Jon said. “(Y/N), are you sure you want to go on this mission, if any--”

“I’m fine, Jon really.”

Everyone in the room remained quiet. “Could you guys leave us alone for a bit,” Jon demanded. 

Everyone turned but Grenn hesitated, but he left. You sit up more and throw the blanket off of you. You go to your draws in the room and take out of the black dresses they had for you. 

“(Y/N), I promised to look out for you,” Jon said. 

“And leaving me with Thorne is looking out for me?” you asked as you put on your larger black dress over you. 

“You’re right, but when if we’re out numbered? What if Karl and them take you and then they do rape you?”

You begin to lace your dress together in the front, “And if you leave me here, Thorne will rape me and share me with your brothers! Either way, I am fucked. Wherever I go, I am fucked regardless.” You finished lacing your dress and sit on your bed. 

Jon walks in front of you and gets on his knees, he’s eye leveled with your eyes. “Then whatever happens, you stay close to me as much as possible. To Grenn as well.” You nodded your head. “Also, here,” Jon said as he goes to the table and throws down leather onto your bed. “This is for you.”

You get up and hold the leathers to your body. It matches it somewhat perfect to you and new pants and even a new fur cape. 

“J-Jon, thank you,” you said as you clutched the new clothing to your body. 

“Don’t get killed,” he said.

“You too, Jon Snow.”

* *  *  

The ride was long and tiring. You stayed a bit behind to watch everyone else as they go a head of you, Grenn is there to protect you the rest of the days as everyone travels to Craster’s Keep.

 You’re in your new leathers and your hair is in a tighter braid than before. You felt more covered, more powerful as you clutched your dagger to your side and your long sword to your other. 

* * * 

You waited with Jon and the other’s as Locke left, he was to scoop the out the area before we hit. 

“What’s taking him so long?” Grenn asked. 

“Shhh,” Jon Snow hushed Grenn. 

You giggle a bit until you turn to see Locke come from the trees. “Brothers,” he said, which startled everyone a bit. 

“You do move quiet,” Jon said 

“How many?” you asked.

“11 men,” Locke replied. “Most of them are already drunk. No Guard posted. They don’t seem to have a care in the world. We’ll carve them up like walnut pie.” 

“Karl was a top paid cutthroat in Flea Bottom. I’ve been what he can do with a knife,” Grenn said as he shuttered. 

“Have you seen what I can do with a knife? Locke asked him. 

Grenn chuckled a bit, “Not yet.” 

Everyone exchanged laughter for a bit until locke spoke again. “There’s a hut on the wets side of the keep. We should steer clear of it.”

“Why?” Jon asked. 

“They got some hounds chained up inside,” he said. “Closer we can get without the dogs sniffing us, the better.”

You agreed and so did the other men. You and Grenn looked at the sky. 

“New moon tonight,” you said. 

Jon turned back to the rest of us. “Get some rest,” he ordered. “We move at sundown.” 

* * * 

As the dark night sky washed over whatever bit of sun that was left, we crept closer. Grenn and Jon by your side, you all crept closer. 

You and Jon and all the others eyed each other. You all moved. 

“To arms!” a man in the distance yelled. 

Everyone yelled and let out a war cry. You at Jon’s side swung your sword and knocked down any men in your way. With swords clanking and the iron song singing in the night air, you felt a rush go through your body. 

“(Y/N)!” Jon called out. 

You turned to Jon as you’re fighting two other men. 

“Get the woman out of here!” he ordered. 

You nodded your head as you kicked one of them in the balls and the other you uppercut him in his jaw, blood splatted onto your face. But you ran, you ran as fast as you could to the side of the huts. Woman poured out and as they saw your face, their faces turned into happiness. 

“T-Thank you!” they all said one by one as you motioned for them to hide out into the wood. 

“I need to get back to Jon and the others,” you said as you ran to where the fighting it. Grenn, on his back and a sword about to swing down on him, you run and tackle the man. 

“(Y/N)!” he yelled. 

You sit onto of the man bringing his face to look at yours as you slit his throat to the bone. The blood scattered on your leathers and more on your face. You turn to Grenn as he helped you up.

“You didn’t have to,” he said.

“I’m sworn to protect my brothers,” you said. You two smiled at each other as you both yelled and went back to fighting men left and right. They’re all trained men, skilled men and some better than you.

Your eyes didn’t know where to go but rather to Edd, fighting and swearing and even sweating a bit. Another man from behind is about to strike. 

“Grenn! Stay here!” you yell.

Running towards Edd you place your back against his as you take on the other man, swords clanking and singing. The man in front of you, notices that you’re a woman. 

“I’m going to fuck you bloody!” he yelled. 

Edd notices you behind him. “Nice to see you joined the party, (Y/N)!” 

“Shut up!” you yell. 

“Want me to take care of him for you?” Edd asked. 

“No, leave him to me,” you said then let out another war cry. You hit harder and faster and as he’s distracted, you take out your dagger and stab him in the shoulder. 

The man grunts as he takes out the dagger and throws it to the ground, he started to hit harder and faster. You can’t keep up, he kicks you in the gut and you fall over. Hurting and in pain you cough aggressively and grip the ground made of dirt and snow. He stands over your body and grabs your hair and flips you over. 

“I told ya, I’m going to fuck you bloody!” he yelled. 

He throws your head down, as he does this. Your dagger is only a few inches away. You hear him bend from his leathers to drag you away, but you quickly grab the dagger and as he drags you, you dig your fingers into the dirt. He gets upset and grunts, flips you over to bring down his fist to your face.

Faster, you take out your dagger and the dagger goes right through his fist. He screams in pain and you lean up, grab his sword and plug it right into his chest. You push him away from you, he falls to the ground next to you. 

Grenn yells for you, he lifts you up and taps all around your body. 

“Grenn, I’m fine,” you huff out. “Where is Jon?” you asked.

“Inside,” he said.

“We need to go, now!” you yelled.

You, Grenn and Edd run into the hut. As soon as you all go inside, Jon is midway of taking out his sword that was once inside the back of Karl’s head. 

He slowly takes it out, blood gushes everywhere and Karl’s falls to the floor. You run to Jon and the woman sitting on the floor, in shocked. 

“Are you two all right?” you asked.

“Yeah,” Jon said as he got to his knees and looked at the woman. “Are you all right?” 

She sits there, shaken. “Come with us, come on.” you say.

When everyone walked out, Grenn and Edd took on the others that tried to rush toward you. Jon handed you the woman and you tried your best to warm her and to calm her down, but something inside of her was already dead. You felt that pain, you felt that suffering and the more you thought about it, the more you thought about Tormund. 

Your train of thought was interrupted by men dragging a body, it was Locke. You gasped under your breath as you saw him. 

“What in the seven hells?” someone asked.  

Jon didn’t see him. “We lost four brothers?” Jon asked Edd. 

“Five,” Edd said, pointing to Locke. 

“What in the seven hells could do that to a man?” Jon asked. 

Jon looked at you. “I counted ten dead mutineers,” you said. 

Edd turned towards you and Jon, “Lock said there were eleven of them,” he said. “Where’s Rast?” 

* * * 

As everyone cleaned up their swords and looted everything, Grenn came towards you. “You okay?” he asked.

“Grenn, I’m fine. Nothing I can’t handle,” you said. 

“Ah, okay,” he said then paused for a moment. “I-I just wanted to make sure is all. You know, considering you’re a woman. I would hate for anything to happen to you.”

You couldn’t help but smile, you knew it felt nice to be looked out for. Jon looked out for you, but he knew you could handle yourself. But your smile turned sour as you’re reminded of Tormund. Gods you missed him, his arms wrapped around you and how his hands touched you most of all. 

Your thought was interrupted. 

“Jon,” Grenn called out. 

Everyone looked, it was Ghost! You smiled once again and you looked over at Jon. 

“Where in the Seven Hells? Come here!” Jon yelled as he kneeled down. “I missed you boy.”

Everyone smiled as the ladies were a bit frightened. 

“What should we do with this lot?” Edd asked. 

Jon looked at them, and then looked at you. “It’s not safe for you here on your own. Mance Rayder had an army heading this way and there’s worse out there than Mance. Come with us, to Castle Black. We can find you work. Keep you safe.” Jon said. 

“Meaning all respect, Ser Crow, Craster beat us and worse. Your brother crows beat us and worse. We’ll find our own way,” one of the women said. 

“You want to stay here? In Craster’s Keep?” you asked. 

The main woman who talked looked towards it, like she was looking towards it once last time. She spits at the ground. “Burn it to the ground and all the dead with it.”

When you guys burned it, it was you, Jon, Edd and Grenn who set the keep ablaze. You all watched it crumple and turn into ash. Ashes blew away like leaves in the wind and the fire danced. Everyone watched, no one looked away. Brothers and woman alike, we didn’t dare look away. It was beautiful in some sense. 

One of the woman came up to you, she tapped your shoulder and handed you a rag. You smiled, taken it and dabbed the rag on the temples on your head. “Thank you,” you said.

“No, thank you,” she replied. She was an older woman, long silver hair that was tangled in her braids. “A girl crow? Never seen one before.”

“Yes, I fled my home and came to join the Night’s Watch, expecting no one to find me,” you replied. 

“And now, the whole Wall can see you,” she said.

“And more.”

She smiled, “And more.” 

You two giggled for a moment before she placed her hand on your shoulder, motioning you to look at her. You cocked your head to the side. “You look out for him,” she said as she looked away. You turned to who she is looking at, she’s looking at Jon. “He’s going to need a lot of help, he’s one of the good ones.”

You smiled at her, “He’s my brother, of course.”

She walked away, but your eyes are focused on Jon. He’s looking at the fire and the fire danced in his eyes. Things are stirring and you take a deep breath, feeling the cold air around your face. Tormund, again came into your head. Mance Rayder is on his way, along with Tormund and Ygritte at his back.

A chill is sent down your spine as you thought about the fight. The sounds of sword signing ring in your ear. “A battle is coming,” you whispered. 

***Oh me oh my! I FINALLY GOT ANOTHER CHAPTER OUT! And it hasn’t been half a year! Im getting back into the swing of things due to all of my work and stuff. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I promise the next one... will be even longer! Love you guys for sticking by my side and I hope we can grow more as a community and get back tot he prime of this blog! be safe everyone, have a blessed day!** 

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[phosphorescent-naidheachd]

GOT 8x01 liveblog below the cut:

--Love the new opening credits!

--Poor Missandei and Grey Worm look so uncomfortable rn

--Jon: “I had a choice: keep my crown or protect the North.” But that’s... not what we saw onscreen?? Not unless some variation of political!Jon is actually true. But knowing D&D, this may simply be their retconned explanation for the nonsensical writing last year. Well, that or Jon is trying to make his stupid decision look better in front of the lords.

--Sansa, I love you, but do you have to smirk when you raise your (very valid) concerns? It’s not helping anything and you have to know it.

--Yessss, mentions of the food shortage!! Now let’s see if they’ll actually do anything with it...

--Show!Dany, I’m still trying to like you, but you’re not exactly making it easy, what with the whole “whatever they like” reply to “What do dragons eat, anyway?”, and smirking when the dragons swooped in and scared the fuck out of everyone in the Winter Town. The Northerners haven’t given you the warmest of receptions and I understand your frustration over that fact, but that’s no reason to think their fear is funny.

--Ah, yes, the oh-so-subtle handholding in front of the entire hall. *sighs at Jon and Dany* [ETA: never mind, they aren’t actually holding hands... Dany is just resting one of her hands on Jon’s arm. Which isn’t all that much more subtle lol.]

--It’s 100% my shipper confirmation bias at work, but the way that they’ve blocked this scene really does make it feel like a Dany/Jon/Sansa love triangle to me. #sorrynotsorry That said, if TPTB choose to go a belligerent sexual tension route w/ Dany/Sansa I wouldn’t turn it down. ;-)

--They’re actually letting Arya show human emotion again? *tosses confetti in celebration*

--Bran and Jon reunion!! My Stark Feelings heart overfloweth.

--Sansa and Tyrion reunion! I like that they’re keeping that hint of tension between them over the way they parted.

--Tyrion: “Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.” Subtext: I have no intention of repeating their mistakes.

--Sansa: “I used to think you were the cleverest man alive.” Talk about a burn!

--OK, Bran is looking at Tyrion Significantly(TM) with music playing in the background almost ominously.

--Confirmation that Yara is alive!!! Also, she and Euron are a disturbing but kind of hilarious dynamic at the moment.

--The Arya and Jon reunion was A++. Sweet and heartfelt, but with a hint of underlying tension. And Arya’s comment that Sansa is the smartest person she knows just made my heart an even bigger pile of Stark Family mush.

--Oh, and the “Have you used it?” line re: Needle just hurts because it shows us and Arya how little Jon knows about what Arya has gone through and who she’s become. And Arya’s “once or twice” line just tore out my heart. She doesn’t want to tell Jon what she’s done, both because she’s afraid of how he’ll react and because that will finally make it real to her.

--I feel kind of terrible for Cersei. Yes, she’s made her own bed, but the fact that Euron Greyjoy is lying in it... *shudders* The fact that she’s still forced to resort to sleeping with a man she despises despite ostensibly being the most powerful woman in the realm is incredibly depressing.

--Ahhh, and now we have The Temptation of Bronn(TM)

--The rescue mission! Theon getting to shoot arrows!!

--Greyjoy sibling feelings!!!!

--And Theon is headed to Winterfell! ...He’s going to die there saving a Stark, isn’t he? *braces self for emotional pain*

-- ...you couldn’t have proposed this Jon/Dany marriage, oh, four or so episodes ago, Davos?? The mind still boggles that no one brought this very obvious diplomatic solution up on Dragonstone last season.

--Varys: “Nothing lasts.” 

Camera: *pans to Jon & Dany* 

Me: I n t e r e s t i n g

Also me: Is this foreshadowing, or a red herring to up the dramatic tension?

--Is that... something resembling a smile from Jon around Dany? And he actually looks like he might genuinely enjoy her presence and/or care about her? It’s a miracle! ...A miracle that we really could have used some of last season too, GOT!!

--“She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. If she can’t respect me--” *nods* That’s more or less what I figured their initial dynamic would be like. And their attitudes make sense on both ends of the equation! (Note: I can’t decide whether that was a veiled threat from Dany or not; if so, though, she jumped to them pretty darn fast.) I’m curious to see where D&D go with this.

--Oh, only that many goats and sheep. *rolls eyes* I mean, I get it, the dragons are huge; they need a lot of fuel! But on the other hand, that’s an awful lot of food the people don’t get anymore... It’s a no-win situation.

--“They don’t like the North.” Huh, I wonder what it means that the literal breathing symbol of the Targs aren’t fans of being in the North. [/sarcasm]

--Look, I’m glad Dany feels comfortable enough around Jon to be playful, but... would it have been that difficult for her to give him one or two tips before he mounted this incredibly dangerous flying weapon of mass destruction??

--How are these waterfalls not completely frozen over?! It’s the North and it’s winter. I know, I know, I shouldn’t expect anything resembling realism from this show, but still...

--Ah, so Dany is the one who has the line about how they could “stay here a thousand years and no one would find us”, not Jon. But on the flip side, Jon has his eyes closed for the kiss, not open... at least, not until the dragons start to talk lol.

--Emilia Clarke has such a beautiful smile!

--Yeah, I’m still not feeling the J0n3rys ‘chemistry’. Oh well; you can’t win them all. At least they aren’t totally unbelievable as a couple this episode.

--Ugghhh, yet another joke about balls (or the lack thereof) in this episode.

--Arya and Gendry reunion? Arya and Sandor reunion? Yes!

--Wow, Arya/Gendry are so awkward together right now! Sweet, but awkward. And yeah, here come the shippy feelings again... I’m predictable that way lol.

--“As you wish, m’lady.” *squeals delightedly*

--“You don’t know any other rich girls.” The look on their faces!!

--Can I mention again how much I love that they’re letting Arya and Dany emote so far this episode? It makes a world of difference. Now all we need is for Bran to be allowed to show emotions...

--Ooohh, this must be the promised Jon/Sansa argument scene. 

--Good. I’m glad that there are already some consequences from the lords for Jon having bent the knee... the decision would feel incredibly cheap otherwise.

--And already we have more emotion from Jon in this one scene than in all of his scenes with Dany combined. I’m not saying Jon/Sansa is where the show is going, but it still works much better for me than Jon/Dany does. YMMV, of course, and that’s as it should be.

--”Do you have any faith in me at all?” “You know I do.” <3 <3 <3

--*sighs* Jon, it’s all very well and good to say that Dany will be a good queen, but you could, I don’t know, give Sansa some examples to help her understand why you think that instead of just expecting her to go entirely on your word?

--Ah, this must be the scene with Sam and Dany!

--Oh, poor Sam. I’m so glad they’re letting him be upset about it, though. His dad may have been an abusive dick, but his brother wasn’t... and besides, emotions aren’t always that clear-cut.

--“Now’s the time.” OK, but why now? Why now? Also, is it just me or did Bran’s voice sound different there?

--Jon and Sam reunion!!!

--Ouch, poor Jon. This revelation was always going to hit him hard.

--Jon (in a whisper, looking horrified): “That’s treason.” Uh, Jon, that doesn’t seem like the normal reaction of someone in love with another person? Just saying.

--“You gave up the crown to save your people. Would she do the same?” Samwell Tarly, asking the important questions! This question has always been one of--if not the--cruxes of Dany’s arc, IMO. That and her search for home/belonging.

--Ooo, is this the rumored scene with the WW symbols on the walls?

--Hmmm, this actually looks a bit like that clip from the trailers. Is Edd going to show up soon then?

--Hah! Called it.

--“Stay back, he’s got blue eyes!” “I’ve always had blue eyes!” LMAOOO

--Called it. I knew little Ned Umber was going to be the first named character death of the season. (For the record, I have him slated as the first named character death in my AU S8 fic outline, even though the chapter in question hasn’t been written yet.) Also, wow-- talk about a creepy way to display him!

--Still, that’s odd that he’s just dead rather than a wight-- oh, never mind he is a wight after all!

--Hmm, who are you, tall and mysteriously hooded man? (I mean, realistically everyone onscreen in the North should have their hoods up right now when they’re outside, but this is TV.) Could you possibly be... Jaime Lannister?

--Hah! Called it again.

--They’re going to cut to the credits now that Bran & Jaime have locked eyes, aren’t they? Yep, they just cut to the credits.

Additional Thoughts:

--I wonder where Brienne is... we haven’t seen her this episode IIRC. [ETA: Never mind, she is there in the background in several scenes, she just doesn’t say anything.]

--I wish D&D had given Dany more space to react to the news about undead!Viserion. This should be a big deal for her. Also, why is no one freaking out about the Wall coming down?

--Honestly, the pacing and tone of this episode could have used a little polishing IMO.

--I’m delighted that the show is letting characters speak positively about Sansa and her skills, but I wish the writing wasn’t so very heavy-handed about it.

--Ooo, interesting trailer, though still nothing terribly surprising. I’m curious to see what they do next episode... but not nearly as curious as I am to see what happens in 8x03 and beyond. ;-)

Overall, I enjoyed this episode! So many callbacks to earlier seasons. I may have deeper thoughts on a rewatch.

[water-hates-learning]

Exist to Die and Still Live On

@mushroomminded wanted angst. I deliver angst.

WARNINGS: Major and multiple character death, implied suicide, murder, mind break, emetophobia, severe bodily harm, wibbly wobbly timey wimey bullshit, The End, angst with no happy ending

Read at your own risk.

(Title from Duck or Ape by Roar)

--------

Matt’s choking and all he can do is put his face in his hands and wait. He can feel Matt’s hands, slippery with blood, pawing at the hem of his jeans, the gargling gasp as he tries to speak through the cut in his throat, the desperate whimpers of his dying friend.

“I’m sorry,” He says into his palms, unable to look, to cowardly to face what he’s done, “I’m sorry but I have to do this, I have to fix this! It went wrong! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” His face is hot and wet with tears but he still won’t look. It’s only when Matt’s pawing hands stop grasping for him that he glances between his fingers.

All is still.

There is a subtle and rhythmic tink-tink-tink from the kitchen where blood is still dripping into the sink.

He draws in a shaking breath and puts the knife to his own throat.

****

Tom catches him breaking in through a carelessly unlocked window in the middle of the night.

They fight. And, of course, Tom’s drunk.

Tom’s drunk and Tord doesn’t mean to push him that hard. He doesn’t mean to but he does and Tom’s head crashes against the edge of the window.

The wet snap sounds like damp stick being ripped apart. Before he can take in the damage, before he has to look at the wrong angle Tom’s head is at, he flees down the hall. He’s messed up again and he’s learned the hard way that there’s only one thing he can do to set it right.

****

“Stop it!” His voice cracks, breaks, choked by his tears, “Stop it, I don’t want to do this anymore! Just stop it! Please, just stop! sTOP STOP STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!”

****

When he dies for the first time, it’s an easy death.

He’s old and he’s the only one whose heart is still stubbornly kicking. Although by now, even that stubbornness is fading. He’s sitting quietly, facing the ocean, just taking it all in. He hasn’t seen them in decades, not since he left that day. Somewhere along the line, he just decided to never come back.

So he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, a last breath, and lets go.

But when he opens his eyes again, something’s gone wrong.

****

Tord keeps trying.

Again and again and again and again.

Reset.

Reset.

RESET.

R E S E T.

No matter what he does, no matter how it ends, he ends up in that hostel in Norway, cold and alone and screaming.

He always wakes up screaming.

****

“The universe is fucking with me,” He says bitterly into coffee so black he can see his exhausted expression reflected back at him, “Or someone’s fucking with me. I…I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.”

“Sssoooo you’re telling me that you’re stuck in some kind of time loop?” Edd looks skeptical but not dismissive.

“Yes,” Tord says tiredly. He appears well rested, fresh and ready for the day. But there is tired sickness to every line of his body and a defeated blankness behind his eyes.

“You don’t look very panicked about it,” Edd goes to take a drink of Cola and frowns into the empty can, “How many times have we had this conversation?”

“Many times,” Tord murmurs, watching his old friend rise from his chair and head over to the fridge, “I haven’t exactly been counting but…it’s been…a lot…”

Edd hums thoughtfully as he reaches into the fridge and pulls out another can, wedging his finger under the pull tab, “Well, maybe you just need to—ghck!”

His words are cut off by a wet gasp as the pull tab snaps and wedges itself in his throat. Blood sprays from Edd’s neck and paints the fridge red. He drops his can and falls to the floor, gasping and pawing at his neck.

Tord watches this happen with an almost bored look on his face. And it might have been boredom if not for the way his hands are shaking around his coffee mug.

When Edd stops twitching, Tord pushes his chair back and goes to retrieve the gun from the back of the cabinet in the sitting room. Then he has to go find Matt and Tom.

****

“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!? WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME!? PLEASE, JUST STOP! I’D RATHER DIE THAN GO THROUGH THIS ANYMORE! I’D RATHER BE DEAD! I’D RATHER….I’d rather...I’d rather be dead…please…just let me die…”

****

All the times he’s scraped his plans, all the times he’s changed his mind, all the times he’s turned his back on the Red Army, he’s failed in the worst ways possible.

All the times he’s followed his original intentions, all the times he’s gone back to get what he left behind, all those times he’s tried to get away without getting them involved, they’ve always caught him.

Every time they’ve caught him, he’s forced to kill them and then himself so he can start over.

He doesn’t want them to know. They can’t know. They can’t get involved.

But every time, the universe works against him.

****

Except for the one time it doesn’t.

Except that it kind of does.

He’s tries.

Goddamn him, he tries.

He tries to sneak in, only to get caught by Tom.

He tries to drive them off and only succeeds in pushing Tom away.

He tries. He tries so damn hard.

He rips out his own heart and grinds it to dust under the heel of his own stupid robot because, goddamn him, he just wants this to end.

It’s too late. Too late to recover this timeline, too late to save anyone.  He has to destroy this one and start over again and he can’t take it anymore!

“But I thought we were…I thought we were friends…!”

“Ha, no! What would I need friends for when I’ve got this!? I’m unstoppable!” The words tear open his chest and taste like poison on his tongue. He nearly chokes on them. Not his words, not what he wanted to say! But it’s too late, they’re out there, and he all he can do is laugh in maniacal state of panic because, god, what did he do to deserve this? He just wants it to end, please, god, let it end.

“Hey! Sunshine-lollipops!”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“Take a seat!”

This timeline, too, has failed. He has no choice. He sees red, edges blurring through tears, breath choking in his chest because he’d been so close. But of course Tom has to screw things up. Tom, always butting in where he doesn’t belong. Stupid, drunken, unhelpful, annoying, freak-faced Tom.

The blast from the rocket exploding makes the ground shudder.

Matt is screaming. Edd is howling. Tom’s gone under a pile of rubble.

Tord can’t breathe. He panics, sputters words out and flees. He’ll come back and kill the other two later and reset everything. He’ll start over and everything will be okay.

The harpoon tears through the cockpit—tears through his plans—and scores his side like cold fire. Tord chokes on a sob, struggling with the controls, struggling to set things right. Hell, if he could just crash this damn robot into his old friends then maybe they could all die and he could try again. Even if he wants out, even if he doesn’t want to do this anymore, anything’s better than ending like this. Anything’s better than ending with their hatred and their scorn and their lost everything; no memories, no home, no nothing to their names and it’s his fault.

Struggle all he wants, the cogs and gears and winding forces of the world turn against him. They’ve finally steered him onto the path they want and they’re not letting him go.

When Paul and Pat haul him from the crash site, he vomits hot blood and burning stomach acid onto the scorched grass. Chokes down his sobs because if this is how he has to live then, damn it all, he’s not letting his men see him break. Not completely. Not yet.

There will be time for breaking later.

****

“Reset…” He whispers hoarsely into the shadows, barely audible over the beeping machines, nearly delirious from the drugs in his system, “Reset…please…j-just let me…one more time…reset…reset…”

****

Red Leader is sick, they say.

Red Leader is crazy, they say.

Red Leader can’t die, they say.

Red Leader is dangerous, they say.

Red Leader wants three specific men dead.

And they say he will stop at nothing to kill them.

****

The word “RESET” is painted in red beneath the symbol of the Red Army.

****

There’s not much of Tord left, when they find him.

Whatever was there has been scratched out with panic and fever and desperation, with tears and screams and blood.

There is no Tord anymore.

Just Red Leader.

And Red Leader is insane.

[will-you-be-my-savior]

asks for 08/22/18

anonymous asked:

Um, hi. I think that one of my roommates ended up here yesterday. He seemed kind of insulted when we asked him what happened. Figured I should borrow this thing to explain some stuff. That guy, he kind of clings to the belief of being human for his own mental health's sake. He got bullied badly as a kid for that unnerving feeling his species causes in humans and whatever I am. It's not that he's dumb, it's just his mind is working so hard to protect itself from a breakdown. -Mayhem Tom

Tord: …

Tom: i told you he wasn’t stupid.

Matt: … is he okay?

(tord feels like an idiot. he judged him more harshly because they were counterparts but now he regrets that.)

anonymous asked:

He probably would be okay now if his parents weren't jerks that didn't believe in therapy, especially after they had him exorcised when he wasn't even possessed. Not his fault his species makes humans uneasy and the kids in his class broke his arm and leg. Just glad he had a friend in that class that wasn't bothered by that uncanny valley feel and protected him until he got over how his species normally doesn't fight. He'd be a lot worse if he hadn't. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: i had a feeling he’d been through a lot…

Tord: … shit…

Matt: who was the friend?

(tord seriously regrets the way he acted last night.)

anonymous asked:

Well, Edd was that friend, they've stuck by each other since primary school. No one really wanted to be friends with either of them. They're still best friends today, and I'm kind of surprised cause Edd's laziness from being half sloth demon gets pretty annoying for me and Matt most of the time. Then again, Tord's probably done his best to stick with the only people that never tried to hurt him or always called him a monster for something he can't help. -Mayhem Tom

Tom and Matt: *twitch*

Tord: i suppose that makes sense. his counterpart was probably my best friend throughout most of my time in school as well.

(tom and matt are on edge, but otherwise fine)

anonymous asked:

Are those two okay? They seem kind of like the Tord here after he's had a panic attack. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: … we’ll… be fine.

Matt: it’s no big deal.

dudawakmax asked:

OK I heard that people where in the edge and I come as fast as I could. NO TALKING ABOUT THE GREEN DEVIL IN FRONT OF MY BABY BUNS!!!!

Tom: it’s okay duda, we’re fi-

Matt: DUDA! *squeeze* we haven’t seen you in a while!

anonymous asked:

Okay? I'll avoid mentioning his name for now on if it's an issue. Don't know what happened to put people on edge talking about him, but I won't ask. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: probably for the best…

dudawakmax asked:

Five tests in this week, I'm just kinda busy :P And NOPE! NO GREEN DEVIL SHIT NEAR MY BABY BUNS.

Matt: i thought i was a bat not a bun?

Tom: really duda, we’ll be fine.

dudawakmax asked:

You can be a vampire bun!

Matt: *giggles*

anonymous asked:

Wait, your Matt's a vampire? Huh, the one here just makes potions and glamours. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: … yeah he is, but he can do that too.

Tord: he once made himself look like pat just to fuck with the people in the cells… we watched the footage back later… it was terrifying.

Matt: my favorite thing to make are the potions that make your skin glow!

(he means actually glow, like a glow stick)

anonymous asked:

He mostly just sells his glamours to other creatures and beings to hide as humans. He does make a lot of potions for beauty and stuff though. - Mayhem Tom

Matt: i don’t like potions like that… it’s not real.

Tom: most supernatural creatures here just stay away from humans rather then go through the trouble of getting a glamour, unless they can shapeshifter like me or just look human enough like matt.

Tord: human’s don’t generally get told about the supernatural here. and if they do find out it had better be because someone told them of else… *neck snapping motion*

dudawakmax asked:

Wow wow wait. You turned yourself into Patty cake?

Matt: with a glamour, yeah.

anonymous asked:

We don't kill any humans that find out, we first see what they're planning. If it's dangerous, they lose several days worth of memories when witches specializing in memory wipes show up and just, make them forget all about the fact that 'monsters' live among humans. If they're beneficial, they can keep their memories. A lot of the monsters that think Tord is human don't mind him knowing. He just wants to learn and stop the ones that hurt others. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: i think the main reason they don’t wipe memories here is because they tend to overestimate rather then underestimate those who find out… if they found out once what’s to stop them from finding out again?

Tom: if a person is perceptive they stay perceptive no matter how many times they have their memory wiped.

dudawakmax asked:

Cool! Can the glamour change your height too? Like, turning me into mister eyebrows?

Matt: a glamour is more an illusion then a transformation… so yes it does change how tall you LOOK.

anonymous asked:

We try to avoid killing cause it could draw unwanted attention. Especially since some of the more dangerous creatures like to move here and hunt instead of just buying cloned meat from Bing. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: we just have specific “people” who come and kill them just like any other human would. these “people” essentially don’t exist in modern society so any evidence the police found would just lead to dead ends.

Tord: when i’m in power we’re changing that…

Tom: well duh.

anonymous asked:

Take over the world? You guys are pretty different than everyone in my world. No world domination plans here. I think. Might need to triple check with the Tord here just to be safe. Though the worst anyone's found in his room is his gun stash and where he hides his hentai. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: if there was any other way my system would work i’d take it in a heart beat but they’re pretty reliant on having a single leadership with all the necessary resources available.

anonymous asked:

Well, good luck with that then. I better put this machine back before the others realize I have it and want to try talking to you too. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: thanks, i guess.

Matt: bye other tom!

spooncryptid asked:

Hewwo!!

Matt: come get your pets. * holds out his arms*

spooncryptid asked:

//happily jumps up into Matt’s arms// yay!!!

Matt begins to vigorously pet you.

spooncryptid asked:

//purrs and snuggles into Matt//

Matt is content.

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm, so what’s happening today?

Matt: remember mayhem from yesterday? Well his tom was talking to us for a bit. After that tom left to go pick up the parts he ordered and Tord went to go get us dinner.

spooncryptid asked:

There’s another Tommy too??

Matt: appears so. He was rather nice even.

spooncryptid asked:

Is there another Mattie??

Matt: yep! He said his Matt is magic but not a vampire.

spooncryptid asked:

That’s confusing, how am I supposed to keep track of two of everyone?

Matt: he just put mayhem in front of his name.

spooncryptid asked:

Well they certainly are a lot of mayhem!

Matt giggles. He liked that joke.

spooncryptid asked:

Dyou know what Tords getting for dinner?

Matt: nope. all he said was that it was some kind of Americanized German thing.

spooncryptid asked:

Huh, I wonder what it’ll bt

Matt: all the weird stuff he’s gotten for us has been good so far.

spooncryptid asked:

Tommy doesn’t like the food??

Matt: oh tom loves the food! He just doesn’t want to admit it!

spooncryptid asked:

Why not??

Matt: I dunno. He’s stubborn?

spooncryptid asked:

That doesn’t make sense

Matt: I think he thinks that if he admits that it’s good he’ll be losing or something.

spooncryptid asked:

Hed lose a game?? What would he lose???

Matt: I don’t know. Tom and Tord are always like that. Like they are always playing a game neither knows all the rules to.

spooncryptid asked:

That’s confusing, how do you win if there’s no rules?

Matt: i don’t know that either… they don’t make a whole lot of sense.

spooncryptid asked:

They sure don’t

Matt: nope.

Tord: *coming through the door* oh! hello cryptid.

spooncryptid asked:

Hi Tordie! What did ya get for dinner?

Tord: some strange Americanized form of schnitzel with a side of potatoes au gratin and green bean casserole.

Matt: sounds good.

spooncryptid asked:

Mm smells good

Tord: i’d hope so.

Matt: gimme!

Tom: *enters room* whatever…

spooncryptid asked:

Hi Tommy!!

Tom: hey cat freak.

(it is said with affection)

spooncryptid asked:

Are you ready for dinner?

Tom: i guess…

Tord: …

(tord is getting tired of this BS)

spooncryptid asked:

Cmon, can’t you smell how tasty it is!!

tom is glaring… tord is gonna break something.

spooncryptid asked:

What’s with you two??

tom doesn’t know who made the food and is being bitter. tord doesn’t wanna admit who made the food cause he’s a paranoid little shit.

spooncryptid asked:

Why does it matter who made the food????

tom hates eating things when he doesn’t know who’s touched it…

spooncryptid asked:

If Tord knows about that then what’s the big deal about telling him? Why is it better to cause tension??

he’s embarrassed…

(can you guess why)

spooncryptid asked:

I have an idea...

do you now?

spooncryptid asked:

That’s honestly kinda cute but st ill

tord is shocked. he thinks you might know. he’s questioning how that could even be possible.

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm, I’m hungry! Let’s eat!!

tord is enormously grateful. they all sit down to eat.

spooncryptid asked:

Food food!!

tom: puts a small plate with servings of the sides and two small pieces of breaded meat.

spooncryptid asked:

//purrs softly//

matt is okay now, all he hears is soft purring.

there seems to be a section that got deleted here. basically spooncryptid revealed that tord was the one making the food, tord got embarrassed, tom pulled him out of the room and started making out with him and matt had to cover his ears because he could hear them.

spooncryptid asked:

//is just a sleepy cat hat//

matt sits down against a wall and leans into it and tom and tord re-enter the room looking very disheveled.

spooncryptid asked:

//stops purring and jumps down//

Matt: aaawww.

Tord: what are you two doing?

spooncryptid asked:

Nothing.. //sits in the corner a bit nervous//

Tom: … *is very suspicious*

Tord: right…

spooncryptid asked:

... sorry....

Tom: what are you sorry for?

spooncryptid asked:

Uh... not thinking.. before I say stuff....

Tom: *sigh*

Tord: okay. *looks very pleased with himself*

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm.... I’ll try harder to not do that anymore....

Tord: it’s fine.

Tom: why are you acting like you just got fucked? i just kissed you.

Tord: because it was a nice kiss.

spooncryptid asked:

//curls up in the corner, again//

mat turned into a bat and curled up with you.

spooncryptid asked:

//cuddles Matt//

tom turns himself into a tiny monster and tord picks both of them and you up and carries you all to bedroom to all go to sleep together.

spooncryptid asked:

Mm, goodnight...

Tord: night…

Tom and Matt: *cooing*

[princessdevy03]

Tumblr Exclusive!!!!

Author’s Note: Life does indeed have many open doors, but you should always be polite like Opportunity and knock on them first.

For @anybodihearme….

Get a damn lock, girl!

KnockEdd

 “Hey.”

Edd turned away from the sink towards the voice that called out to him but kept stirring the KoolAid he was making.

“Hey, yourself. How’d it go?” He asked as he turned back around to tap the wooden spoon on the edge of the container and grab the lid.

“Ugh,” Kevin groaned as he came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around him. “I hate statistics.”

Edd gently patted his hand in empathy and to get Kevin to move so he could put the pitcher of the sweet drink in the fridge to chill before dinner. 

“I’m making tacos,” he said as he started to pull the ingredients out he’d need for their Mexican spread.

“Awesome,” Kevin groaned before pushing himself off the kitchen table and going upstairs to his room.

One by one, their roommates started to trickle into the house about thirty minutes after Edd started dinner; first, Ed and then Nazz, who actually helped him, followed by Sarah and Eddy, who both stayed out of the way, but still contributed to the conversation.

When Kevin came back downstairs just as Ed was lining up Nazz’s expertly chopped veggies, it was almost as if the air was sucked out of the room, but the redhead was too tired to care and the ravenette was too busy to notice.

All Ed knew was that Edd was tense and Kevin was tired. He was sure he was going to get an earful from his best friend soon, but all he really wanted was to get through dinner first.

Dinner went normally, the clean up was quick with Kevin shooing everyone but Ed out of the kitchen.

“You get the notes for Campbell's class?” Kevin asked Ed as he wiped down the table.

“Yeah, and I got you the attendance code for the day. Where were you man?” Ed asked as he pulled out his phone to jot down the code Kevin would need to sign in for their 9AM class that morning and be counted as present on Post It note Edd had pulled out of his back pocket.

“Sleep,” Edd snorted and Kevin rolled his eyes as Ed shook his head.

“I did all my shit on Google today so I’ll just email it to you,” Ed said before skipping to the freezer for a pint of his favorite ice cream, doing his own happy dance to the silverware drawer for a spoon, then continuing to dance right out of the kitchen.

Kevin and Edd shared a chuckle as they watched him carry on, but then a serious look crossed Kevin’s face and Edd groaned.

“Let’s go,” Kevin sighed as he pushed him up the stairs and to the growing pile of homework that was getting too hard to ignore.

An hour later, as they sat on Edd’s bed and he was looking over Kevin’s Algebra 300 homework for errors while Kevin read over his speech notes for his public speaking class to make sure all his points were clear and concise, Eddy nearly ripped the door off the hinges as he burst through, waving a presentation folder in his hand.

“EDDY!” Edd screamed. “KNOCK!”

“Whatever, Sockhead,” he groaned as he shoved the presentation into Edd’s lap that was full of his laptop, two notebooks, and Kevin’s Algebra textbook.

Kevin pulled away a bit as he knew that his place in their long friendship was always shaky from Eddy’s point of view, but Edd’s hand on his knee gave them both pause.

“Eddy, it’s real fucking rude to burst into closed off rooms and I’m not helping you-”

“You’re helping him!” Eddy protested, ticked that Kevin was once again taking precedence over him and his access to Edd’s bright mind because he was sitting on Edd’s bed and not his own.

“Reviewing a few math problems is NOT the same as trying to decipher your econ presentation. If you had come to me when I told you I was free to help you, I’d gladly done so, but I cannot and I won’t,” he stated coldly as he shoved the folder back into Eddy’s hand and turned his attention back to yet another work email, a rush of anxiety coursing through him as he got a new email alert from a former lover who was now his new research director.

Seeing the stressed out look on his face made Eddy and Kevin a bit concerned, so Eddy took his folder and trudged out of the room closing the door behind him as Kevin pulled his textbook and notebook out of Edd’s lap.

“You ok, Eddward?”

“I’m fine,” Edd sighed a small smile crossing his face as Kevin was the only person in the house to call him by his given name. “Just Johnny tripping about making sure the interns get their lab reports turned in on time.”

Kevin patted his thigh before trying to turn his wrong answers into the correct ones and the house grew a bit more quiet as everyone did their best to make this journey across the state worth the expense and their parents proud.

Two hours later, Ed knocked on the door and Edd invited him in without looking up from the screen he was reading as he scribbled a few notes in his notebook.

“We’re heading out to see It, you in?”

“No,” Edd groaned as he finally looked up at his friend. “I’ve got too much to do.”

A disappointed look crossed Ed’s face before he cocked his brow at Kevin who shook his head.

 “I’m backed up on readings because of work, man, so I gotta pass. Y’all have fun, though.”

A silly grin crossed the horror lover’s face as he turned to leave the room, and as he slowly and dramatically closed the door, Edd called out, “You better not go see American Satan without me!”

“You’re only going because you think Andy Black is hot,” Kevin damn near sneered at him and Edd tossed his head back on a dramatic groan before emailing the interns to get their lab reports into his mailbox at the lab as soon as possible.

An hour later, Kevin sat up to put his chin on his shoulder and looked at the screen in front of him.

There were six tabs open, one to Tumblr where he was currently messaging his former swim team teammate, Justin, about some guy named Max, who was doing the absolute most in trying to get his attention.

DoubleDee42: Well with a name like THAT

CaptChocoDrop: shut up dee

DoubleDee42: IJS THO!

Then he clicked on the tab that was a Google Doc where it looked to be something like six different people editing the same section of a lab report at once.

Edd stared at the screen for a solid minute, a thoughtful look on his face before he made a comment in the margin that while Lee had the right idea, it would be better executed Marie’s way, and he wanted May to correlate the results before their meeting Thursday.

The girls sent messages in the affirmative with Marie talking shit about how she got her way as he closed out the tab before the next tab opened to an Amazon page where a smartphone controlled drone stared back at them.

He sighed wistfully before adding it to his wishlist and rolled his neck.

“What do you want, Kevin?”

The redhead chuckled before he stretched and said, “Just seeing what you were up to. I got my shit done, what about you?”

“How’d my speech look?” He asked, the lack of confidence in his tone about being able to deliver a speech about how his mother’s research on the migration habits of hummingbirds being the biggest influence in his choice to go into botany science when he got to college.

“You’ll be fine,” Kevin said as he looked at the speech again. “I like the bit about how you giving her a hibiscus plant to keep the hummingbirds coming back when she got sick helped you learn how to take care of them.”

“Lead with a heartwarming story,” the ravenette shrugged and Kevin snorted.

“If you can’t make them laugh, make them cry,” he grinned and Edd threw a pillow at him that Kevin caught with an expert hand, tossed back on the bed and then laid down on it as comfortable as a church mouse in a worn pew cushion.

“Anyways,” Edd sighed as he looked around for his botany folder for a few notes to add to the speech, while Kevin went back to his readings for he and Eddy’s shared econ class.

“I’m just saying,” Kevin said from behind the book on his chest. “You’re not a comedian, but you can tell a good story. Always go with your strengths.”

“Uh huh.”

Kevin looked over the book to see a nervous hand jotting more notes on index cards and shook his head.

“How about we binge some Stranger Things?”

Edd shook his head as he shook his nerves off.

“The Punisher?”

Another head shake.

“How To Get Away With Murder?”

No response.

“Johnny Bravo?” Kevin asked, thinking something lighter would ease Edd’s frazzled mind. 

Edd turned and looked into concerned green eyes and hoped he could contain himself.

Growing up together made their friendship close, way too many drunken high school and then college parties sparked conversations and feelings.

But the feelings were hesitant on Edd’s part as being friends had worked so well and he couldn’t bear to think what would happen if he lost that part of who they were because they couldn’t work out the romance, especially since they lived together in a house with their very best friends.

If it all fell apart, there was no way they’d recover and the mere idea of it broke Edd’s heart.

Then Kevin came to the literal rescue when he picked Edd up from the side of the road in the middle of a snow storm last winter.

Eddy was too busy working to be of much help and Ed was stuck at home with Sarah and a gaggle of her friends so he couldn’t even think to venture out without Sarah tattling on him about it.

At least that was what Edd told everyone.

Kevin was first on his list because he knew that not only would Kevin come, he could help.

The blinding snow made the ditch invisible but the oncoming semi’s lights weren’t.

Edd’s car was totaled, but Kevin’s truck managed to get him out of the ditch and back to town.

He helped him navigate his insurance claim and then was there as a sounding board when he bought his next car.

They all knew Kevin would do anything for his friends, but this went way above and beyond the call of duty and Edd was put on notice.

A home cooked meal was his thanks, they binged Jessica Jones in Kevin’s bed til they fell asleep, and waking up in Kevin’s arms had Edd in a bit of a state for a good week before he stormed into the bathroom when Kevin was taking a shower and demanded answers.

He got a hug and a kiss on the cheek while the redhead lined up his beard before he got the same, you know how I feel speech Kevin had been giving him since sophomore year and Edd almost slapped him.

Kevin ignored his sputtering about how that wasn’t it as he got dressed, not accepting his straightforward answer because wasn’t this supposed to be complicated?

“You know I hate bullshit, Eddward,” Kevin had told him. “You asked, I answered. What more do you want?!”

Edd let out a frustrated scream before storming out of the bathroom and slamming his bedroom door.

A knock came to it a good ten seconds later and when he went to answer it and tell Kevin to shove his bullshit where the sun didn’t shine, he was silenced by a kiss.

“Now do you believe me?!” Kevin had said.

Green eyes that were desperate to be believed met his stunned own and the next thing he knew they were in a tussle in his bed, Kevin’s hands were under his beanie, clutching at ebony silken strands of hair, while Edd wrapped his arms around strong shoulders and held on as he couldn’t believe what was happening but didn’t want it to stop.

Ed knocked fifteen minutes later and when Edd finally opened the door ten minutes later, he couldn’t hide the disbelief in his hazel eyes at the sight of both of his friends and Edd’s bed rumpled and looking like they enjoyed doing it, but he didn’t say anything about it and just handed him the house phone and told him his grandmother was calling.

Kevin brightened up at the mention of the woman who essentially cock blocked him because everyone knew that Edd loved the woman like they all loved jawbreakers, but rarely spoke to her because she lived in France.

They bitched about her son, his absent father, he complained about work and bragged a bit about school, she told him to get a boyfriend and adopt her some grandpuppies.

An hour later, between the conversation with his grandmother, and the Kevin induced endorphin's in his system, his mood was better, but he knew he and Kevin needed to have a talk.

They shouldn’t.

They couldn’t.

They wouldn’t.

They did it anyways.

It wasn’t just that the sex was incredible, but their friendship didn’t really change all that much, so why stop a good thing?

Except with the good comes the bad, and the bad was just making everything messy, messy, messy!

Ed said they were caring more, but Edd would counter that as friendships grow, one would start to care more deeply for the other person so that was bound to happen anyways.

But the caring more would lead to petty arguments, taking any chance to annoy the absolute ever loving shit out of the other, monopolize their time so unworthy people, even their friends, wouldn’t get it, too.

When they refused to say they were more than friends or even friends with benefits, Sarah’s crush on Kevin became more than obvious and even Eddy told her to chill.

Nazz was perturbed that she was confused by it all and instead of being straightforward, she would do petty shit, like whine about Edd letting Kevin get away with not doing his chores, make more of a mess so everyone would have to do more of their own chores, wrangle Kevin into tutoring her in her core classes that he was absolutely clueless on, and just barging into Edd’s and Kevin’s rooms randomly.

And Eddy was his usual sullen self.

But his lack of knocking on Edd’s door went way up.

All of their feelings got messy as the entire dynamic of the house changed because of Kevin and Edd’s random nonsense with each other and over the summer, they mutually decided that while they did like like each other, they loved each other as friends and would remain as such.

Even best friends.

This decision brought things back to normal as the underlying sexual tension was gone.

For the moment anyways.

School started a month ago, and with their futures looming in front of them, everyone was stressed out to the max!

Ed was balancing work, school, and a filmography internship that he was hoping would lead to his first real job in a production studio.

Kevin and Eddy both were vying for internships with some pretty big companies, Eddy in Texas, Kevin in California.

Nazz was thisclose to parlaying her job as the assistant intern producer of the afternoon show at the Top 40 station in town into a real thing.

Sarah was a junior, and still had time to decide what she wanted to do, but her internship applications from fashion design programs in New York and LA were piling up.

And Edd was torn between staying on at the botany lab at the school and starting grad school right away or taking a year off to head to Costa Rica to study the rain forest there with his own team thanks to a few good words from his ex lover.

Staying at school would be the easy thing to do, in the sense that he was well on his way to being accepted into the grad school, but a year off and as far away from everything and everyone as possible would help him recover from the pain of losing all of his friends all at once.

It’s been damn near a year since that first talk, and a good three months since their last.

And yet, here he is again, staring into those eyes, feeling feelings.

“I just need to get this done, okay?”

Kevin’s eye sparkled their usual deep concern for him as he nodded and went back to his reading, and fresh sense of relief rolled off of Edd as he organized his speech, took the online quiz for his African American History class, uploaded the meeting notes for Anime Club and announced with glee that they would be watching a fan dubbed version of Evangelion at their next meeting, and logged Kevin’s attendance in he and Ed’s shared Business Law class that he skipped to sleep in with Edd. 

He emailed Johnny about the work schedule for all the assistant researchers, his lab report to his research director, thankful the man was a consummate professional and that no one but themselves and Ed knew what happened last fall, Kevin’s mother about his birthday plans in two weeks during homecoming weekend, and the cemetery his mother was interned at to make sure his monthly flower delivery for her plot had been taken care of.

When he finally closed his laptop, he turned to see Kevin lying still with his textbook over his face.

“Kev?” He whispered as he shook the redhead’s leg and Kevin sighed as he said, “I’m awake.”

His tone was as bright as it ever was when he was awake but his mind was clouded and Edd couldn’t help but care.

“Everything alright?”

“Yep,” the redhead droned, but didn’t move.

 “Then get up,” he huffed as he shoved his side, but Kevin barely moved.

“Can’t.”

“Why not?” Edd snipped as he set about cleaning up and organizing his study and homework materials for class in the morning. 

“Because I’m learning by osmosis.”

Edd cackled as he put his things on his desk, walked back over to the bed, and took the textbook off his face.

But his snickering died away when he saw the look on Kevin’s face; thoughtful and hopeful.

And the piece of himself that would always cave for him fell. apart.

The book was tossed on the floor, and they pulled themselves towards each other in a hug that was so intimate that it only occurred behind closed doors.

An embarrassing whine left him as Kevin nuzzled his neck, but like he always did, he pulled away to look into bright blue eyes desperate for love and affection but too scared to give it.

It was all the permission he would ever need.

The kiss that followed was frantic and Edd was sure he would have to hem the broken seams in Kevin’s hoodie that he ripped apart as he tugged the warm piece of clothing away.

The sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor when his khakis were tossed away was like wind chimes announcing the arrival of a longed for guest who never wanted to leave.

The main thing that made him truly question why anyone thought that it was such a terrible idea to have sex with a friend was the fact that Kevin was the most giving lover he had ever had. 

And ever would.

The hands that would toss out pitchers with laser like precision, knew his body better than he or anyone else.

The scruff of the beard he took to wearing lately contrasted with lips as soft as the inside of a damn rose petal and it was fucking intoxicating.

Gentle fingers would caress the scar in his scalp that doctors had to cut into when he was two to remove the tumor that was sucking the life out of him as his hands grasped onto thick, satin locks as red as the sunset and the passion he lived his life in.

The mouth that could tell dirty jokes he learned in the Irish pub his grandparent’s owned back in Dublin, break down the nonsense that was Eddy’s business plans with ease, and awakened feelings with a word and a Colgate smile kissed him all over.

The bed rocked when that mouth swallowed him whole and the quiet room echoed with a scream of a name that never left their rooms.

“Pumpkin!”

He held the underside of his headboard, but without his hands in Kevin’s hair to guide him through the act, Kevin took his time to experiment.

Teeny tiny kisses to the head of his dick made chills run down his spine.

A wide lick from the head to his testicles made him gasp, but when Kevin’s hot breath reached what dozens of rounds of chemotherapy on his tiny toddler body essentially killed, his voice cracked with a sob.

His mind blanked when Kevin mouthed his whole sac like a damn peach.

And he just laid there limply for a moment as Kevin nuzzled the insides of his thighs, only coming back to life when his lips touched his cock again.

Eager green eyes met his own and he giggled as his hands eased into Kevin’s hair again, letting himself go while his friend held his everything in a place that told him no lies.

He had been needing this more than he let on and Kevin knew it so he took his time.

Time was lost to them as Kevin took care of him as only he knew how.

He held back on letting him cum right way by occasionally replacing his hand with his mouth so he could kiss him again.

Kevin couldn’t talk dirty to save his life, but holy hell the compliments.

 “My little Einstein.”

 “God, you’re so perfect.”

 “Who’s Daddy’s Baby Boy?”

“Look at me and let it out.”

“You taste just like candy.”

“Pumpkin’s got you.”

In Kevin’s hands he knew he’d be just fine, when Pumpkin showed up, he knew he didn’t have to worry about anything ever again.

Despite Pumpkin sometimes showing up more often than he’d like, even in public, especially in public, to White Knight himself into any given situation, he still couldn’t resist him.

So he didn’t.

They barely registered the front door opening after Kevin sent him over the edge with his hand, his mouth, and those pretty green eyes. 

He was just about to let Kevin pull him into his lap when his door burst open with Sarah and Nazz tumbling in and going on about how crazy the movie was.

They all froze for a brief second, but when Nazz tossed him a dirty look as she set her mouth to say something and Kevin pulled away, he pushed him back into the bed, turned to his rude ass roommates and said two words.

“GET. OUT.”

The venom in his voice and the homicidal look in his ice blue eyes sent them running back down the stairs after slamming the door so hard the room shook.

“Maybe we should -,” Kevin began and Edd shut him up with a harsh, but needy kiss.

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Strong hands stroked his sides for a bit as his fury started to ebb, but the shaky panting of the man beneath him turned him on more than his friends and roommates lack of manners angered him.

Soft cerulean eyes pleaded with bright emerald and Kevin was back on his game.

He reached up for him and Edd leaned down for a kiss as both of their hands reached for Edd’s nightstand drawer.

Working together, they kissed, they touched, and when Kevin got him back where he wanted him before they had been so rudely interrupted, Edd made a mental note to have a house meeting about closed doors and arched his back as Kevin showed him how he really felt about him. 

Again.

Naturally.

Slow hip rolls gave way to Edd riding him like he was his Harley; fast and hard. 

The headboard hit the wall that he shared with Nazz and he couldn’t shut up. 

“Fuck, yes! Just like that!”

“Harder, Daddy! HARDER!

“Give it to me, Goddamnit!”

On the one hand, he knew he was being a brat, but on the other, what happened behind closed doors between consenting individuals wasn’t anyone’s business and he was going to make sure that if anyone wanted into his room, they would have to get consent first, closed door or not.

If revenge was sweet, it tasted like Edd and nice compliments are nice.

He gave the ravenette a show and Edd let everyone in the house know it. 

A scream for every hickey.

A cry for sweet baby Jesus Himself for every touch.

Kisses would silence only a little because under the cover of night, moans carried.

But far too soon, because it had been far too long, he reached his end and the delighted squeal that left him when he left reality made Ed snort and yell, “Good job, Kev!” as he came up the stairs and headed to his room to get some sleep.

No sooner than Kevin had pulled out of him, though, Edd was up and out of the bed.

Grabbing his briefs, he went to his door, opened it and yelled, “HOUSE MEETING! NOW!”

Kevin stared after him as he stormed down the stairs in nothing but his underpants and jumped up, grabbed his sweatpants and hoodie and stumbled after him as fast as his limp legs could carry him.

He shoved his hoodie over Edd’s head as they reached the bottom of the stairs and the other man sighed as he tugged it on, inspecting it for where the new tears were so he knew what exactly he’d have to repair soon.

A couple of minutes later, everyone sleepily tumbled into the living room, scared, but curious as to why Edd was calling a house meeting at 1AM.

“New rule,” he began after everyone but himself sat down, “if there is a closed door in front of you, pretend you’re fucking Opportunity and knock first. Oh, wait! That’s a current rule because it’s common fucking courtesy!”

“Common courtesy would be not boning your roommate, especially when everyone is at home,” Sarah snipped and Eddy rolled his eyes as Ed popped her upside the back of her head.

“Common courtesy would be minding your own fucking business, Sarah,” Edd retorted as he did his best to catch her hazel eyed glare, but she wouldn’t look at him. 

“It is her business when y’all let y’all’s bullshit into the house,” Nazz snipped as she gave him a dirty once over.

“You may have noticed that I gave zero fucks when you two were beefing over who’s turn it was to do laundry, even though Sarah’s job requires her to be in a clean uniform every day,” Edd quipped back.

“What the fuck does that have to do with anything?!” The blond exclaimed and Edd smugly grinned, which means the other Eds and Kevin are terrified.

“Because her job pays regular bills in this house because she’s the only one of us with steady paycheck because she’s salaried. So I would kinda appreciate it if she was allowed space to make sure she could go to that lovely job every day.”

Nazz shut her mouth and Edd could tell his point was taken but he wasn’t quite done.

“We all have shit. I always thought that we were adult enough to fucking handle it. Apparently not. So from here on in, if you don’t fucking knock on mine or anyone else’s door for as long as you live here, I’m not only not going to knock, either, but your ass best believe that I will be making my home in your space til I damn well feel like leaving because obviously just because anyone can live here, we can all do whatever we want.”

“Do. Not,” Eddy said slowly as he sat up and gave Edd his trademark don’t fuck with me glare.

“Then. Fucking. Knock,” Edd said in a tone that matched Eddy’s face. Seeing that his point had been made as embarrassment settled in guilty eyes, he heaved a sigh and the afterglow he should have been lying in right now knocked on his heart and mind. “Let’s go, Kevin,” he said as he stormed back up the stairs.

Kevin gave a quick glance at everyone else in the room, and while everyone but Ed looked mad at him, he couldn’t bring himself to care because Edd was right.

“Kevin!”

Kevin shot up the stairs and Ed stood and stretched before following after him, shaking his head at the remaining three in the room.

“Ugh, rude,” Sarah mumbled as just two sets of doors slammed and the house grew quiet again.

But Edd’s room was far from quiet.

As soon as Kevin walked back in the room, closed and then locked the door, Edd shoved him on the bed before straddling him and attacking his neck.

“Eddward,” Kevin hissed at him but he didn’t stop him.

“Pants. Off,” Edd ordered as he tugged off the two pieces of clothing he had on.

“You want to go again?!” Kevin asked in a harsh whisper, surprised that Edd was up for it after what they had just done.

Lustful blue eyes sparkled at him and Kevin’s frightened and turned on all at once.

Edd didn’t cheer him on as vocally as he had done before, but Kevin repainted the scraped wall behind his headboard that weekend.

He ate up the silly compliments, encouragement, and soft touches.

He let himself take what he wanted and shoved every negative thought about it all out of his mind.

His hands wandered across the chest that held the heart that beat for him in a way he didn’t want it to, but he’ll be damned if it ever stopped.

He kissed him in such an enticing way that Kevin knew exactly why they name storms after people.

And why some storm names are retired, never to be used again.

The greed in his heart for the one who was tangled up with him in all the ways was being fed and Edd knew the greed was bad, but the heart wanted what it wanted, even when it couldn’t have it.

Life was just too complicated right now and they couldn’t be. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be there for him when he needed him.

And he always would be.

Kevin sat back a bit on his knees and rocked them both as he knocked one out of the park. Edd caught him as he fell and held on til they both calmed down.

Sarah’s regular pop hits list echoed from her Bluetooth speaker in the bathroom in the hall and Kevin groaned.

“Can you walk?”

He looked down to see a mischievous gapped tooth grin looking back at him and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I can walk,” he huffed as he sat up. “But Sarah is in your shower.”

“Get my shirt,” Edd whispered as he swung his legs out of the bed and tiptoed to the door.

The shirt in question was an old Peach Creek varsity swim team tshirt he got as a freshman and never grew into because it was too big.

Kevin pulled the shirt out of his t-shirt drawer and then dug a clean pair of boxer briefs out of his underwear drawer. When he handed him the clothing items in his hand, Edd shot him an annoyed look, but his eyes glimmered a bit.

Like he’d ever turn down something Kevin thought he looked good in.

Kevin tugged on his sweats as Edd pulled on the shirt and they snuck out of Edd’s room and ran to Kevin’s.

Because Kevin’s aunt owned the house, Kevin got the master bedroom which had its own ensuite bath with an oversized tub/shower combo.

The girls got access when they had cramps, but Edd was the only other guy to ever sit in it with the redhead. 

None of his past boyfriends ever lasted long enough for the romantic gesture, but even Eddy said that Edd was the only guy he ever spent anytime with that he actually cared about enough to let him stay more than a few hours in his room. 

And as their college lives wound down, he was going to take as many moments with his friend as possible.

They took a quick shower before Kevin plugged up the tub and he had Edd lean his head into his chest, as he held him cross legged in his lap so he could rub his back as they waited for the tub to fill.

“Speech tomorrow?”

“Friday. Small group work is tomorrow.”

“With Dr Heinz?”

“Uh huh.”

“I swear he hates me.”

“He’s just trying to make us think critically,” Edd said of a professor he had for a literature class  freshman year that they now had for general education composition class and to say Kevin and the man clashed was an understatement.

“I think just fine, thanks,” Kevin grumbled.

“You do,” Edd agreed, “but not everyone else does.”

A look of understanding crossed his face before he frowned and Edd could swear he thinking that someone or something was a Dork.

“Why I gotta be his example then?!”

“Why do you engage?”

“Hello,” Kevin said incredulously as he shut the water off, “participation points. And he started it.”

A laugh echoed in the bathroom that was lightly heard across the house and only Ed was able to ignore it.

“You’re a child.”

“Says the man that basically told everyone he was gonna shit on their lawn if they came into his room again.”

“All they need to do is knock,” Edd shrugged and Kevin sighed.

“True, but -”

“No buts!” Edd said firmly as he booped his nose. “Aren’t you sick of them trying to spy on us?”

“Yeah,” Kevin sighed, wondering if things would die down if they made it official.

“Well, I’m gonna, ‘shit on their lawn,’ as you so eloquently put it, if they don’t fucking knock.”

“Okay, okay,” Kevin snickered knowing that there was no changing Edd’s mind once he truly decided something.

You could try to convince him til the cows came home, but in the end, his word was his bond.

And that’s why Kevin loved him. Because no matter what happened between them, as long as he said he loved him, they would be okay.

Ed found them in Kevin’s bed the next morning, the door wide open, but he knocked anyway, rousing only Edd, who quickly got ready so they could go get coffee and breakfast at Eddy’s favorite coffee shop before class.

Edd knocked on Eddy’s door after he got ready, Ed leaning on the wall across from it, only for it to be answered by a grumpy Sarah and Eddy still asleep.

Edd shoved the girl to her room and Ed out the door, not looking forward to dinner at all.

Kevin woke up to a text that made him spend the night at his aunt’s.

Eddward: KNOCK BEFORE YOU COME IN.

[totalfanfreak]

Set Him Free: Scud x Reader

Set Him Free

 “Damn it! I mean it! Leave me alone before I tear you in half.”

You had been working on a mass of surveillance tapes for what had to be going on the twelfth hour, and now, on the last fucking four was when Scud had decided to make his debut. He was driving you up the wall, as he often did anyways, but he had been poking and prodding at you to come and eat with him for the last thirty minutes. Your focus was shot, probably missing half a dozen key details from the footage. You did your best to push the annoyance away, scooting closer to the computer.

“Come on, Y/N. You’ve sat here for hours, you gotta be hungry. I’ll even put up with your shitty taste in TV.”

You shut your eyes, breathing deep through your nose to steady yourself. It was times like this you severely regretted Eric bringing him here. Yes, Scud had many uses, yes, sometimes he made pretty good company, and, yes, it was nice he didn’t make any judgements about what the two of you were. From what you’ve seen he kind of worshipped Eric, often comparing him to Batman, only much more badass. He wasn’t afraid, a trait that awed you, but times like this you wanted to break his neck and drain him.

“Josh, I only have a few tapes to get through. I just want to finish them so I can shower and go to sleep. I haven’t slept in days.”

He rested his head on the desk, mumbling. “Haven’t eaten either.”

He stopped talking, allowing you to concentrate on the images. Eric had been sure Abe had been taken somewhere near this location, and after months of going through various sources across Europe you had your hopes high that this was it. You clicked around some more, feeling blue eyes piercing at you, hearing Scud give a few disdained sighs you got up from your seat.

“Fine! Let’s hurry up so I can finish this.”

You’d try not to admit it, but that boyish grin that spread on his face made your insides squirm.

“All right!”

Grabbing your arm, he dragged you from the away to the makeshift kitchen. He pulled a stool out for you, giving an over exaggerated bow before putting a cigarette in his mouth, stirring what was already smoking on the stove.

“I see you made assumptions about me dining with you.”

He grinned, the filter dangling from his lip as he spoke. “I know you can’t resist my charm.”

You scoffed, letting your head rest in your hand, watching him work. Scud nowhere near treated you like he did Eric, maybe it was because you looked close to his age, or that you were female, both of you childish you calling him Scuzzbucket on occasion as he called you Halfa. Even then you liked it, he made you feel human. A kind act, but it saddened you at the same time, knowing that’s all it would be.

“You know, if it anyone else talked to me that way, Scuzz, I’d have killed them a long time ago.”

His smiled stayed in place, eyes close to twinkling, as he spooned out what looked to be charred macaroni into bowls.

“I DO know. But I know you’d never hurt me, Y/N, you love me too much.”

The words hurt, maybe you did, you had never had any firsthand experience with that specific emotion. Hate, rage, depression, mania, paranoia, too many to count, but love had never been on the list. You wondered what exactly you felt for Scud – yeah, as much as you hated to say, you cared, you worried about him, he pissed you off a lot. But hearing that word from him, whatever it could be that you felt would never be reciprocated so there wasn’t any real reason to sort it all out. Without commenting you grabbed one of the bowls, falling onto a lumpy couch to turn on the TV. Clicking through you found one of the channels playing Scream, taking your mind off vampires and letting humans kill amongst themselves. You felt Scud sit down beside you, but you didn’t turn, jumping when his hand came in contact with yours, tugging the remote away from you.

“Excuse you, I was watching that.”

He had taken a bite of noodles, pushing it to the side of his cheek so he could talk. “Fuck that, Ed, Edd, and Eddy’s on, ‘sides how many times have you watched that?”

“Doesn’t matter, I got her first.”

He threw the remote in your lap, aggravated, setting his feet up on the worn coffee table before going back to his food.

“Fine, we’ll watch, but when the Powerpuffs come on we’re switching over.”

You laughed, sidling up against the armrest. “We’ll see.”

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You were able to eat half the burnt macaroni when the movie went off, Scud flipping to cartoons immediately. You put the bowl on the table, settling back on the cushions.

“I still don’t get it.”

His eyebrows rose. “About what?”

“All of it. Why would Billy lie about all that, betray everyone, planning to kill all of them but still have the fucking nerve to sleep with Sidney.”

“He did it because of her mom, if she hadn’t slept with his dad –“

“That had nothing to do with Sidney! Why’d he want to kill her for?”

“Guess cause you can’t leave behind witnesses.”

“Whatever, maybe I just don’t understand the mentality of the bad guys.”

Scud looked like he was thinking, and you wanted to laugh, make a remark about how he didn’t do that too often, but you didn’t, giving him his space and letting your attention go to the mini heroes take down the Gangreen Gang. When it cut to commercial, his hands were still on his knees, eyes glued to the floor.

“Josh, you okay?”

The sound of his name got him. “Huh?”

You smiled. “Everything all right in La La Land?”

He sat up. “Yeah, just…thinking. I mean – what makes a bad guy, Y/N?”

“What?”

“You said before that Billy was the bad guy, but why?”

“Because he was killing innocent people.”

You were confused, Scud’s voice going up an octave as he gestured between you both.

“We’ve killed people, so what, are we bad guys too?”

“To some, I’m sure we are. It’s probably all a perspective thing.”

That didn’t satisfy him. “What’s your definition of a bad guy?”

You blinked at him, thinking on it. “Um, well, someone who doesn’t have the right moral structure. Where they’d think, how would all this benefit me, only fulfilling their own desires and no one else’s? Not caring how what they’re affects others. Someone who hides things, as well as themselves, like how the vampires hide from us, Eric’s always willing to face them head on, but they run away. That’s cowardice, that’s them not wanting to come to terms with all they’ve done or how they’ll pay for it.”

“I don’t want to die either.”

“You’re not going to die, Josh.”

“You’re saying it makes them evil to run away from getting killed. I’d run too.”

“Damn it, I’m trying – you know what, this shit is too deep this late at night. You got anything sweet?”

His face perked up a little then, mischief trying to creep back in his eyes. “Besides me? I got a few glazed in my room.”

You smiled. “Of course you do, you need to invest in some Oreos or something. Expand that addiction a little bit so some of us can piggyback on it.”

He laughed. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. So you want some?”

“No, but thank you, and thanks for dinner too. It was…nice. I needed it, but now I need a shower before I pass out.”

You don’t know why you did it, but the lack of sleep had kept some of your synapses from snapping together in time. But before you questioned it, you leaned over, hugging Scud. You felt him jerk in surprise, before cautiously wrapping an arm around you to hug back.

“For the record, I think you’re a pretty damn good guy, Josh. You can be annoying as hell, nerdy with a doughnut fetish that sometimes dresses like a young Corey Feldman, but good.”

You felt him laugh in your hair, and you couldn’t help the one that escaped you, his cheek coming to rest on your head.

“Fuck you too, Halfa girl.”

He hadn’t said it to be mean, only joking as he always did, but it was a reminder. The two of you different species, not meant to coexist except like this, only to take down the enemy, and your spirit dipped. You pulled away, avoiding his eyes.

“Goodnight Josh.”

“Night, Y/N.”

Closing your door, you began to strip, heading to the meager bathroom. But you were grateful for it, it was tiny, but it was yours and yours alone. After that pow wow, you couldn’t work anymore tonight, you just wanted to be clean and go to bed. The water was close to heaven, relaxing you, easing the tension from your body and you sighed in contentment. Watching the suds wash down the drain your mind went to Scud. You felt ashamed, you joked about it all the time, but you really wish he wasn’t here. He had a family somewhere, the opportunity to lead a normal life, but he chose to stay, and you couldn’t understand why. And with him at such a close proximity lead to moments like tonight, your brain betraying you, wandering around to what those hands could do when not playing with a blowtorch. A winding began to build in your stomach, and for a second you thought to ease it, but you pushed it down, exiting the shower. There was no point thinking those things. You lingered, enjoying the air on your skin. You ran the towel over your hair, starting to rummage for something to sleep in when your door was flung open.

“Hey, Y/N, you won’t believe it, I actually found…half a pack…of Oreos.”

His eyes widened, staring at you and your body, as you fell to the floor scrambling for the towel, blanket, anything to cover yourself with.

“Get out, Scuzzbucket!”

“I’m so sorry, I thought –“

“GET OUT!”

He turned, fumbling away, you slamming the door after him. You began to cry, he saw, your nudity revealing everything to him. The scars you hid, he saw, making you more of a freak than you already were. You avoided him after that, a feat in itself with the lack of hiding places in the warehouse. Lucky for you Eric had returned from wherever the hell he went.

“So you found him?”

His face remained stoic, but after the years around him you caught the miniscule slacking in his shoulders, sad, defeated. “He’s one of them.”

You tilted your head. “One of them?”

Giving you a hard, pointed look you understood. “Is there anything we can do?”

“I’m working on something, but if it comes down to it, we’ll have to put him out of that misery.”

You nodded, not wanting to think too much on that scenario. You cared about Abe, the same as you cared about Eric, the three of you making some bizarre blended family, taking you in off the streets after finding you drinking blood from stray animals. They had weaned you, adjusting the same serum Eric used, it never left you fully satisfied but you had come a long way from wandering dark corners of the city feeling like a schizophrenic. They studied you, for some reason Eric aged much quicker than you, it had been twenty years and you still looked as they found you at seventeen but Eric looked fully grown. The difference making all of you wonder, you were raised by your grandmother until she passed never revealing what had happened if it had been your mother or father that was killed, that was bitten, treating you as normal as she could though feeding you animal blood like chocolate milk. It had been so good to be found, to be understood, and not condemned for what you couldn’t help. And you didn’t want to lose one of those people who helped you feel like that.

“We’ll do whatever we have to.”

The abrupt words surprised him, nodding before heading towards the workshop.

“Mayday! Mayday! Guys! Please, I’m having problems here!”

You groaned rolling over in the mass of blankets, hearing what had to be Scud’s voice. Of course he was having problems, he himself was a problem. You chose to ignore him until you heard static crank from the CB.

“Someone, please, there might be four or five in pursuit! I don’t have enough UV bullets to take them! I need backup or I’m going to be a fuckin’ snack for the leeches!”

Jumping up, you pushed the covers away running to the radio. “Where are you?”

“Thank God, Y/N, I thought I was gonna be vampire chow.”

“Where the hell are you, Josh?”

He gave his location and grabbing all the weapons you could carry you went. You could fight, have had to fight, but if there were five you’d need some help. It wasn’t hard to locate him, finding his van, and a pile of ashes next to it, following the trail you found him at the dead end of an alley, UV gun thrust out.

“Back up, ya fuckin’ suckheads! You saw what I did to your friends, one pull and you’re ass is ash.”

They were distracted by Scud, enough so that you were able to extract the silver blade and embed it into one of the vampire’s hearts from behind. Pulling the blade out you watch the skin turn brittle and gray.

“Well, well, one of the half breeds has come out to play. Should’ve known when the blood bag came to us one of you would follow.”

Came to them? Scud had willfully looked for vampires? That wasn’t his game, he stayed within the confines of his van only acting as a decoy if Eric was nearby.

“Tell you what, half breed, you’re much better to look at than your mentor, we could both drain this waste, and you could come back with me. I can guarantee that you’ll have a better place in our ranks than where you are now.”

Your brain was still stuck on Scud looking for these fuckers, only when a hand was held out did you move. Plunging in the blade without a second thought, you watched the fledging fall to the ground, limp. You turned to Scud, expressionless.

“Is that all of them?”

He scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, thanks for coming to my rescue, Y/N. I owe you one.”

You clenched your jaw, anger surging, wiping the blade down you put it away, heading back for the van.

“Hey!”

You ignored him, hearing him jog to catch up to you, tugging you on the arm. “Will you wait a damn second?”

You did wait, long enough to turn to him and smack him to the ground.

“The fuck was that for, Y/N?”

“For being a fucking idiot! All this time you had the common sense to keep a distance and now you suddenly want to hunt for them on your own? You got that big of a death wish, Scud?”

He knew he fucked up, you never called him Scud. His shoulders came up to his ears, covering the flaming red tips, eyes not looking at you as he shifted foot to foot. He looked ashamed, like a little boy, something you didn’t think he was capable of.

“No, I needed to talk to you. You keep dodging me, Y/N, and I knew this would bring you out.”

“Are you fucking insane? What if I hadn’t been there to hear your distress call? You’d be fucking dead right now.”

“I knew you were there.”

“I was half asleep, what if I figured Eric would get you. Or if I downright ignored you, what if I thought it was a joke, or thought it was a dream, or what if I just didn’t care?”

He smiled sheepishly then. “Glad to know you do.”

Gif by abnormal-angelgifs

You huffed, ready to walk away again, when he held onto your wrist. “Please, Y/N, I can’t take this. You’re my only friend, I’m sorry I didn’t knock and shit. But I can’t deal with you ignoring me. You’re the one thing that makes me feel normal through all this.”

You laughed, the sound coming out as a mad cackle.

“Normal? Normal! You are fucking normal, Josh! I’m the one that’s abnormal! It was easy to pretend…then you go busting in like the idiot you are. Looking at me, seeing me, those...marks. I get it, we both know what I am, that I’m one of the monsters, but having you know that I’m weak. That I’m ugly underneath –“

“You’re no fucking monster, Y/N. And you’re sure as hell ain’t ugly. I’m not gonna listen to you talk about yourself like that.”

You exhaled, not believing him. “Get in the van so we can get back.”

You went to open the side door, Scud’s hands latching over the handle. He was too close.

“Move.”

He did, eyes watching face, flinching when you felt him touch your cheek. “You’re beautiful, all of you. The moment I saw you, when you were nursing me, I’d come in and out of consciousness waiting to see my angel, you.”

He’s so full of shit, push him away.

But you didn’t, couldn’t, feeling a tear slip out he caught it, brushing it away before letting his lips move over the spot.

“Maybe I’m the monster.”

“What –“

He slid opened the door, coaxing you into the van. He climbed in after you, hands going to the bottom of his shirt and yanking it off. You knew his scars intimately well, Eric dragging him in near death making you sew him up; they were a harsh pink, contrasting the pale skin, crisscrosses layered on one another, you winced wishing you had done a better job. They reached all the way up to his chest, as if the vampires were trying to rip him open, pull up his skin like someone opening an envelope. You reached out, letting your fingers trace over the lines, his eyes shut under your touch.

“You’re not a monster, Scud, and you’re not ugly or weak. You fought, you didn’t do this to yourself.”

“Josh.”

“Huh?”

“You always call me Josh. You’re the only one that does. I don’t want you to stop doing it.”

You snorted. “I don’t ALWAYS call you Josh.”

He smirked, and you were glad to see the cockiness coming back. “Fine, you always call me Josh except when you’re mad at me.”

You smiled, about to make your way to the front when you were pulled back down. “I care more about you then I’m willing to admit.”

You sighed, giving up, letting his hands stay on you, not surprised when his mouth slotted over yours, allowing yourself to kiss him harder, helping him remove your clothes. You were nervous, not sure how this was going to work. You knew this part, but after. You didn’t talk to Abe or Eric about this, mainly because you never were intimate with anything that wasn’t battery operated and you wondered if by some fate you could get knocked up. It didn’t seem likely, and you didn’t object when Scud pushed into you, your head lolling at the intrusion. He kept himself up on his elbows, shaggy hair tickling your face as he adjusted to the feel of you.

“Fuck.”

You laughed, pushing the hair out of his eyes. “Thought we were, Stud.”

He choked on a laugh, kissing you. Soon you were panting along with him, that friction building a fire in your stomach, but then you were clutching at him for different reasons. Too close. The smell of sweat beading on his body, the smell of hormones and testosterone peaking, the smell as his blood heated. You were cursing yourself for forgetting the serum, you were empty, hungry, and you needed to get away from Scud. You pushed at him, backing away from his pumping hips.

“Josh, stop! I can’t…there wasn’t time…I might bite you.”

He stopped, face dropping to your neck while his breath went in your ear.

“I’m sorry.”

He felt him shake his head. “Let me grab something.”

With one hand on your hip he leaned over to grab his pants, gathering his lighter and a switchblade.

“The fuck, Josh, you going to kill me about it?”

He smiled. “Nope. I know what you’ll say, but I have thought about this a few times, some occasions when my hand wasn’t down my pants but I want to do this for you.”

He was still inside you, his words and throbbing member adding you with extra warmth.

“You’ve thought about me taking blood from you?”

He shrugged, playing it off, but you saw the red come on his skin. He flicked open the blade, sanitizing it with the lighter, letting it cool as it glided on the skin of his chest, the smell of his blood hitting you like a car crash.

“Take it, Y/N, you can have it while I have you.”

You moaned, him leaning to kiss you, tongue moving against yours a few times, then moving so you had access to the wound. A part of you wanted to resist, Scud was your friend or something more complicated now, but you didn’t want to hurt him. Then again he was offering this to you. Scud started to thrust in harder, the blood gathering on the cut before dripping down on you. The smell could only be described as woodsy, it reminded you of trees after a hard rain, something savory, that you hadn’t known you had been craving. You let your tongue dart out, licking the cut, hearing Scud moan as you did, he picked up your hips signaling your legs to wrap around his waist as he drove in deeper. You lapped the blood, slurping at it, your walls flexing around him as he cradled your head to his chest. God, he was spicy, pungent, sweet, like cinnamon and sage, something that didn’t together but did. The aching inside your stomach was nearly filled, and you hung onto him, yanking his hair and guzzling him. Suddenly you felt a click inside of you, like a puzzle pieces being fitted together. Not long after Scud’s hips began to jerk spastically, his come coating your insides as his weight fell on top of you. He rolled on his side, catching his breath as those blue eyes looked at you.

“Sorry, Y/N.”

You smiled, completely relaxed for the first time in damn near ever. You turned to him, pulling off the bandana that was wrapped on his head to press on the cut. “And what do you got to be sorry for?”

He grunted, smiling as he struggled to keep his eyes opened exhausted from the blood loss and reeling from his orgasm. “A lot of shit, but right now, not getting you off.”

“Don’t worry about it; I’ll give you a retry if you want it.”

“Look forward to it; don’t think I won’t hold you to that shit.”

Rolling your eyes, you slapped his arm. “Alright Stud, get dressed I’m taking us home.”

Scud passed out as soon as he pulled his pants on, and the panic that you taking too much blood had you speeding to the warehouse. After cutting the engine you went to the back, slapping him gently to stir him. You were able to breathe again when his eyes cracked open, blue peeking out in the dark.

“Come on, Josh, I’ll help you to bed.”

You owed him that much, now that the fear was fading you took in how great you felt. Your body like a live wire, alert, awake, refreshed – you felt alive. And it was him, and what he gave.

“You’re taking some iron tablets tonight too. We got to build your blood back up.”

“’M fine.”

“Sure you are, Scuzz.”

You let him keep his weight on you, pretty much dragging him through the building.

“You’re back.”

Whirring around you saw Eric manning the monitors. “Yeah, Josh ran into some trouble. He might need a few days to rest, he lost some blood.”

“That you took.”

You felt the color drain from your face, the matter of fact way he said it, he knew. Eric always knew, and it was better to not lie about it.

“Yes.”

“This changes things.”

“What do you mean?”

Eric leaned his head down looking at Scud’s limp body. “You set him free.”

You forced a chuckle, not knowing where this was going. “I only took a little bit; I didn’t have any serum today.”

“He’s your familiar now.”

Your jaw drop, grip slacking on Josh as he fell face first to the floor. “Oh, shit, Josh I’m sorry.”

You heard him mutter something, but he was so out of it that it was unintelligible.

“He’s not…I mean I can’t, we can’t do that.”

Eric kept observing him, not helping you pick him up the dead weight. “Not to a regular vampire’s extent, he will not be your puppet by any means. But the previous one has been broken; your smell will be on him now unless you decide to take another.”

You remembered the clicking, the calm of things falling into place.

“But I don’t want him as a familiar, I was just – he belonged to someone else?”

Eric gave a rare smirk. “Don’t let jealousy get in the way; he was consensual with you, and for different reasons. His previous owner was to give him protection, but you –“

“I protect him now. Where do you think I was?”

“That’s why he chose you, because you chose him. He’ll feel the repercussions of the decision when he wakes.”

“I don’t understand, Eric.”

“Things he’s done, what he was supposed to do. Like I’ve said, it’s changed now, he’s free. He can choose where to go from here without being compelled by his vampire.”

“Y/N?”

Looking down, you saw Scud reaching for you, eyes so out of focus, that you felt guilty for not holding back.

“You won’t be able to compel him; he’ll have to face himself alone.”

You ran a hand through the messy strands, his cheek seeking out your touch.

“No, not alone.”

[Hope I did okay, I’m not sure how familiars are made in the marvel universe. To me it seemed like all the human had to do was pledge their allegiance and get inked, but I wanted something better so I House of Nighted it.]

Taggers!

@derpypenguin

[dork-empress]

Game of Thrones Season 7 Predictions

I'm on set and I'm bored so here, predictions I have for game of thrones season 7. I'll put why I feel like something's going to happen if there's something specific, but mostly it'll just be that it feels right. 

 The bulk of the season, I think, will be in 2 storylines, with smaller storylines filtered in. Then,1 other story and 2-4 wildcard stories in other places. 

Plot 1: the south--the war of the queens aka a song of fire. 

Dany has come to siege kings landing with her dragons. A lot of this story involves Tyrion and Jaime trying to outthink the others battle strategy. Now, kings landing is built to withstand a siege, but Tyrion’s been on the other side before, so he knows. 

 However, cersei doesn't have her reasonable people around her to stop her doing some pretty messed up shit, like closing the doors on the common folk (and she doesn't take precautions like bronn and tyrion did so they're kinda....fucked) and of course, using wyldfire and whatever nightmares qyburn can cook up...it'll be bloody. Jaime will try and stop her from doing the REALLY messed up shit as much as he can but...cersei has no fucks to give. 

On the other side of the war, I kinda want dany to be trying to help the citizens of kings landing as she goes. Also, I kinda want tyrion to ride rhaegal, but that might be too much to ask 

This will conclude with the penultimate episode where we'll mirror the end of the Targaryen rule. Cersei's about to pull a Hail Mary, something so messed up it'll pretty much nuke kings landing, maybe with her in it cause who gives a fuck. She also orders Jaime to go out and kill Tyrion (just like Aerys ordered Jaime to kill Tywin) before she goes off with Qyburn to nuke shit. Jaime will kill Qyburn, then kill cersei, and finally kill himself because killing the love of his life is too much to bear. In the process of all this the iron throne and the main hall might get kinda blown up. In the final episode, we'll have Dany in control of kings landing. Yayyyyy.

Characters involved: Dany, Tyrion, Missendei, Grey Worm, Varys, Theon, Yara, Olenna, Sand Snakes, Ellaria Sand, Cersei, Qyburn, Jaime, The Mountain. 

I'll be surprised if they live: Cersei, Jaime, Qyburn, The Mountain 

I'll be surprised if they die: Dany, Tyrion, any of the dragons 

Plot 2: the north--winter has come aka a song of ice 

While Jon’s dicking around taking control of the north, he comes to a scary conclusion: those dead south of the wall (who haven't been burned) are starting to come to life as ice zombies. Now, white walkers still can't pass through the wall, but Jon and his people better get to making some bonfires FAST. Cause like...all the people who died in the various battles up north are now fair game (including stannis.) 

Part of what makes me think this is that the whole reason melisandre backed Stannis is that she saw he had a part to play in the coming war, but she never actually saw which side he was on. Considering his living status, I'm prone to thinking the dead side. 

 Also, because there aren't any more main characters left there, I think all the nights watch are going to get wiped out, leaving the wall undefended. Oops. 

Meanwhile Petyr’s going to be spending his time trying to manipulate Sansa to betray her brother. However, Petyr’s laid out his cards to Sansa, directly telling her "I want to be king and have you as my queen." So, Sansa is actually manipulating HIM and manages to steal all his spies to her side (working through Brienne who is devoted to her). The absolute cherry on top is if she manages to learn about her warging powers (in the books, all the stark kids are wargs, but only Bran was trained.) and literally pecks Petyr to death with 'little birds.' Again might be too much to ask for. 

 Season finale, the wall is destroyed. More on that in a minute. 

Characters: Jon, Sansa, Petyr, Lyanna, Brienne, Podrick, Robin, Dolorous Edd. 

I'll be surprised if they live: Petyr, Dolorous Edd 

I'll be surprised if they die: Jon, Sansa, Lyanna 

 Now for smaller plots, going from most to least certainty

 Plot 3: oldtown--a song of history 

Samwell tarly will learn the ways of becoming a maester, but while there learn a dark secret. I'm not sure what it'll necessarily be, but I'm hoping we'll learn the answers to various mysteries, including: what happened to magic in the world before the dragons brought it back; what happened to Valyria; why was there dragon glass at the fist of the first men; what is the faceless men's agenda (in the books, the character known as Jacqen Hagar was also in oldtown, so I think we'll see him again; what was Jacqen doing that ended up with him in a cage on the way to the wall when Arya met him; what's the deal with Qyburn; what's the deal with Illyrio and Varys? That one could be a long shot; why the maesters are so out of touch and; what will the order of maesters even do now that SO MANY maesters are dead. 

In the end, I think something down there is going to be responsible for the wall coming down. Oops. 

Characters: Sam, gilly, baby Sam, Jacqen, maesters 

Any of them could die, but I hope Sam gilly and baby Sam will be okay. 

 Plot 4: a song of stone 

Jorah’s our first wildcard, in that I'm not certain where exactly he'll go. Something will prompt jorah into coming to westerns and, whoops, accidentally spreading greyscale to plague level proportions. I think this because Jorah has kinda taken the role of a character in the books, Jon Connington, and he's in Westeros with greyscale, so, Jorah will probably come too. 

This could intermix with either plot 1 or 2, killing off tons of people in kings Landing, or killing more people in the north who'll become ice zombies. My first thought was that actually greyscale would be responsible for taking down the nights watch, since Jorah’s Dad was lord commander he might go there, but who knows.

Characters: Jorah. It could go either way, but I'm voting closer to death. 

Plot 5: a song of vengeance 

As much as I'd love her to go north, I think Arya will go south and maybe intermix with plot 1. However, she might get caught up with another wildcard, I'll get to that in a minute. She might even meet up with her wolf she sent away, but I doubt it for the show. 

If she DOES go to kings landing, she'll be able to finish off her list, killing off Ilyn Payne or the mountain, hopefully at a crucial moment. 

 Characters arya. I expect she'll live. 

Plot 6: a song of brotherhood 

 Sandor Clegane’s still hanging out with the brotherhood without banners. So...I guess that's a thing. Might meet up with Arya. Might go down to Kings Landing, and kill his brother more permanently. This ones a big vague blur. 

He and all the brotherhood could go either way on the death thing. 

Plot 7: a song of the old gods 

Bran stark is basically going to become the old gods. Maybe not this season, though. He's probably going to have to deal with some of plot 2s shenanigans, but mostly dealing with more cool visions, maybe learning about stuff that Sam doesn't get to find out. A part of me wants him to meet up with Jon, but that could cause problems, given as Ned Stark’s only living son, he's technically heir. So....that's awkward. 

I do think he'll look back and accidentally be the one to drive the mad king mad. (Aerys was still a shit person who deserved to die). The reason I think this is Aerys last words were "burn them all." If Bran does the thing with him that he did with Hodor, while dealing with ice zombies, that might be a thing Aerys would be saying. 

Characters: Bran, Meera. I don't think brans gonna die, but if he does, he won't be "gone" necessarily. 

Plot 8: a song of the new god 

Melisandre A's been having kind of a crisis of faith, so I'm hoping we'll get to see her going through that. Hopefully she'll see things aren't so black and white. She could easily meet up with several of the wild cards, like, she told arya she'd meet her again...she could spend some time with thoros of myr in the brotherhood...she might even figure out the cure to greyscale with her fire and try to make up for the evil she's done (cough cough, shireen, cough), though it'll still kill tons of people. No idea if she'll live or not. So yeah. This got longer than I thought. 

In closing, characters I have no idea if they'll even be a part of things, but I'm inclined to think no??? Gendry, Daario...yeah, that's it. I suppose Gendry could be a part of King’s Landing tearing themselves apart.

Think they can fit all that in 7 episodes?

[dragonkeeper19600]

Either, Do an analysis of Nazz's scene in the swamp from Big Picture Show. Starting from where Nazz and Kevin are thrown into the swamp ending at the point where Nazz chucks Kevin's bike into the swampy water. Or if you don't want to do an analysis you may answer this question Is Nazz truly a kind person? Do you think she has been wearing a mask? *If you have any questions look at the post on my page.

Everyone throughout this month has been consistently naming the swamp scene in Big Picture Show as one of their favorite Nazz moment. Their reasons for liking this scene in particular seem to be A. We finally get a moment of definite personality from Nazz and B. Kevin gets told off for being a jerk/idiot/Gary from Pokemon. So, a lot of fans view this scene in a sort of “Right Vs. Wrong” light. I rewatched the scene a few times to see if that reading holds up.

The last time we saw Kevin and Nazz before this scene, they were in the Lemonbrook Gag Factory. I know you said we only had to analyze the swamp scene starting when they’re in the pipe, but I think it’s important to at least remember what happened to them before that.

So: In summation, Nazz accidentally flips a switch, activating a conveyer belt at the factory. The conveyer belt begins to carry away Kevin’s bike. Kevin panics, and Nazz volunteers to get it, but in trying to reach for it (which involves standing on her tiptoes and reaching up like a ditz), she gets caught, too. Kevin is completely frantic. He tries to flip the switch back, and when he can’t, he shouts, “I’m coming, babe!” climbs to the top of the conveyer belt, dives heroically in front of the chute leading to the waste disposal pipe and at the last second grabs… his bike.

Whew! That was close.

Um, meanwhile Nazz is still kind of stuck on the conveyer belt. She shouts, “What are you doing?” because, of course, she was kind of expecting Kevin to try and save her and not the bike, but the only other thing she has time to say is his name before the conveyer belt dumps her into the exact hole Kevin saved his bike from and all three end up in the pipe.

Evidently, that was a pretty long pipe because the swamp scene starts with them still rocketing through it. It was still daylight when they arrived at the factory, and the sun has already set by the time they land in the water. Who knows what ecosystem of horrors they ran into along the way.

Anyway, Nazz comes out first and lands on her face. Just as she’s getting up, Kevin, like, careens over her with his bike hard enough to literally knock her shorts off. Not sure how she got ahead of him, seeing as how her fall from the conveyer belt is what knocked him in. Continuity error! NURSE!

Anyway, Kevin screeches to a stop, frantically pulls off his shirt, and begins polishing the bike with it. Nazz stomps up, covered in mud and with a water sausage stuck to her head, and shouts, “How’s your bike?”

Kevin’s response: “Oh hey, Nazz!”

That fucking “Oh hey, Nazz!” cracks me up. It’s just so casual! It’s as if he’s pleasantly surprised to see her in the neighborhood. Like, he hasn’t even been thinking about her at all up to this point. “Oh, hey? What’s up?”

Kevin’s obsession with his bike has reached a truly absurd level. This is beyond just being self-absorbed, it’s like he has no ego whatsoever outside of the bike. He ripped his shirt off, knocking his hat into the bog in the process, just to rub down his bike. It’s like even his own safety doesn’t matter compared to that of the bike. Where are we? Who cares? Bike. Is Nazz okay? I can’t hear you! Bike! Should I be taking my shirt off in a place full of mosquitoes? There is no God, there is only T H E  B I K E.

Anyway, this is the point where Nazz slaps him.

I have a few words to say about that slap. Nazz is clearly infuriated that Kevin has prioritized his lord and master, the bike, over her safety. She’s had a pretty stressful day, something she herself will bring up later in the scene. Remember The Scam That Went Too Far happened that morning. She’s potentially miles from home, exhausted, scared, and full of rage. A lot of people see her slapping Kevin as a moment of triumph for Nazz. However, I have a few qualms about women slapping men in the media. Hitting is often portrayed as an acceptable way for a woman to express her anger with a man because, well, she’s just a woman and it’s not like she could hit that hard anyway. However, in real life, violence between anyone of any gender is not okay, and Nazz’s slap has in no way clued Kevin in to what’s upsetting Nazz. Granted it should be obvious why she’s unhappy, and it’s not Nazz’s fault that Kevin’s a fucking idiot, but his immediate question upon getting hit was, “What was that for, man?” That slap in no way told him what he was doing wrong, and it rubs me the wrong way how many people are applauding it.

But then again.

This is Kevin we’re talking about. Kevin’s a pretty violent guy himself, as I’m sure you know. He’ll knock Eddy into the sky without provocation. He once threatened to tie Edd’s legs into a pretzel. He completely destroyed Jimmy’s toys without remorse. Granted, that last one was a mistake, but not even an “I’m sorry?” Really? A big part of why people like this scene is that Kevin usually doesn’t receive any kind of retribution for his violent outbursts. It’s not like Kevin has gotten out of the series unscathed up ‘til now, but there is the sense that Kevin has had this coming for a long time.

On the other other hand, the code “don’t hit girls” is something that seems to have been drilled into the boys in this show. Ed specifically mentions it’s something that his mother taught him. (As a side note, this would be the same woman who taught Sarah to show no mercy.) Girls are on the receiving end of slapstick in this show, but it’s usually either delivered amongst themselves or is the result of some prop falling on them, like when the fence flattens Sarah and Nazz (and, um, Jimmy) in “High-Heeled Ed.” The girls are hardly ever, if ever, deliberately harmed by the guys. Ed holds Edd back from attacking Sarah after she coughs on him in “Is There an Ed in the House?” Rolf lets Nazz absolutely thrash him in “Little Ed Blue” when he tries to steal her popcorn. Even Eddy has never physically retaliated against Sarah. Really think about that. Can you name even one moment when Eddy hit Sarah? One?

A man’s refusal to hit a woman is rightfully seen as a sign of his moral fiber. By contrast, if a man does hit a woman, it’s considered a horrific crime. Remember when, in this same movie, Eddy’s brother called Edd “girlfriend” and then slammed him into the ground? Not even Eddy’s brother hits a girl onscreen, but the fact that he thought he did and was okay with it is used as (one of many) indicators of how terrible he is. Kevin’s already an unpopular character, but imagine if he ever slapped Nazz, the way Nazz just slapped him. People would be burning him in effigy for that.

What complicates this question even further is that, well, none of these characters are really supposed to be role models. They are just kids, and the things they do are meant to be a reflection of how children behave not a guide for how children should behave. And Ed’s mother, the one who told Ed to never hit a girl but told Sarah to show no mercy, is implied throughout the show to not be the best parent.

So, it’s unclear if the show is treating this double standard in a positive light. Honestly, you could probably write a whole dissertation on these issues, something like “The Morality of Violence in Slapstick,” but honestly we don’t have time for that.

Anyway! Back to the scene. Nazz slaps Kevin (with her left hand, I might add. Is she left-handed?) and when he asks why she did that, her response is, “It’s late and I’m cold.”

This response implies that she’s expecting Kevin to take care of her. The subtext is clearly, “What are you going to do about it?” but Kevin doesn’t get this, and as she glares at him, waiting for a response, he just silently looks back.

I like how his eyes awkwardly drift to the side as the silence drags.

Making prolonged eye contact with someone is sometimes seen as a hostile gesture. That’s definitely the case here, and it doesn’t seem like Kevin can face that angry look for too long.

It definitely seems like Nazz is testing Kevin. Evidently, he fails because she angrily declares, “Fine! I’ll make a fire.”

Kevin’s response? “Sweet!”

Oh, Kevin. Someone help this poor, idiot child.

Nazz’s attempt to make a fire is truly pathetic. Not only does she not seem to know what to do, she’s working with wet wood on mushy ground. When she blows on the sticks, it sounds like she’s blowing raspberries, not really the type of air needed to start a fire. She seems to realize how futile it is, angrily slapping her sticks on the pile of wood she created and then throwing them on top. In typical cartoon fashion, a roaring fire immediately springs up out of nowhere, rendering her instantly dry.

She gets busy getting herself warm, rubbing her hands together and such, but when Kevin calls out to her (“Wicked fire, Nazz!”), she gives him a truly delightful glare.

Kevin asks if he can join her in what I guess is supposed to be a seductive way. Nazz normally responds positively to attention like this from Kevin, but this time she just ignores him and pokes the fire. Kevin is surprised by this response. Evidently, Kevin thinks that if he just acts friendly, Nazz will forget about whatever’s bothering her. Remember: Nazz still hasn’t really told him, and it’s not like this kid is going to figure it out himself. 

Kevin looks from the bag containing his sandwich to Nazz, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his head. Maybe splitting the sandwich with her will improve things? He offers to do so, but Nazz, still mad, takes the whole thing. 

Kevin’s a blundering idiot who fails to grasp the simple concept that girls have feelings and don’t like being run over with bikes, but I still think it’s kind of cute how he doesn’t even get mad. He just sidles over next to her, comments that it would be nice if they had another sandwich (not once reproaching her for eating the whole thing), and puts his hand on her shoulder.

The sound effect they use in this shot struck me as oddly familiar. I was wracking my brains trying to figure out where I’d heard it before when I suddenly remembered: It’s the fucking growling stomach sound from Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life.

In this case, however, I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to sound like a cat purring. This one affection gesture from Kevin is enough to placate Nazz. She sheepishly apologizes for eating the whole sandwich. Kevin gives Nazz a thumbs up to show he’s not mad and puts his hand on her shoulder. Nazz responds by tugging Kevin abruptly close in a shoulder-to-shoulder embrace, which he was clearly not expecting.

The following scene is rife with sexual tension. I feel weird saying that considering these are thirteen-year-olds, but there’s really no better way to describe it. Nazz bats her eyes as she apologizes for slapping Kevin, and both of their mouths are really close together through the following exchange. 

Nazz: “It’s been such a crazy day, you know?”

Kevin: “Yeah. No foolin’.”

Nazz: (dreamily) “No foolin’…”

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m uncomfortable.

Kevin holds a finger to her lips and tells her not to move and that he’ll be right back. Nazz waits for him, clasping her hands together into a silent squee, no doubt expecting some kind of romantic gesture. But when Kevin walks up with the bike, her eyes pop.

Kevin comments casually that leaving the bike out in the cold is bad for the paint. Here is where Nazz loses it. She socks him in the stomach and tosses the bike out into the swamp in a fucking WWE giant swing. Kevin frantically chases after it as Nazz shouts, “That’s I think of your stupid bike!”

Perhaps the most vital component of any relationship is communication. If both partners aren’t on the same page or one has problems or an issue that the other doesn’t know about, then all kinds of additional problems can come up because neither party has everything they need to solve the problem. Throughout this whole sequence, Kevin and Nazz fail to communicate as they should. 

Nazz clearly has an idea of what Kevin should be and most of her ideals for him are born from his status as a male. She wants him to be there for her, to save her, protect her, provide for her, hold her, and Kevin seems incapable of doing any of that. Kevin’s attitude by the fire reminds me of the stereotypical “husband in trouble” idea. He knows that something’s wrong, but he can’t figure out what, and he figures he can get himself back in the clear just by being nice. He tries asking her what’s wrong exactly once (“What was that for, man?”) but doesn’t ask her to specify when her answer gives him no clarity. He never asks her why she threw his bike into the tree, dismissing the action as “I just don’t get her, man.” Kevin seems to have abandoned understanding Nazz’s behavior as a lost cause. It kind of reminds me of Eddy’s recurring complaint: “Dames! Who can figure ‘em?”

This seems to be a recurrent issue men have in general. There’s a common saying that women are “mysterious” or “unfathomable” creatures because men find themselves unprepared to deal with any kind of emotional negativity from a woman. “If I’m not upset, why is she upset?” Maybe that’s oversimplifying it, but it’s a damaging attitude to have because what’s so “mysterious” about women is their failure to behave in the exact way men anticipate them to behave. Oh, you think that a hug and a smile is going to make the problem go away? Clueless boy, you don’t even know what the problem is. 

Nazz, for her part, is not making things any easier for him. True, as I’ve said before, the reason she’s unhappy should be obvious, but assuming that something that’s clear to you is also clear to someone else is often dangerous. Nazz tries to give Kevin the silent treatment after he disappoints her. While she may have needed a minute to be alone, that strategy didn’t really help Kevin at all. I don’t think it was cool of her to hit him, take his sandwich, or sock him in the gut, but it definitely wasn’t cool of him to run her over with his bike, not even worry about her safety in the factory, or dismiss her anger as “Women, amiright?”

This is a good scene because we get a lot of character from Nazz and see her pushed beyond her limit, but neither character really comes out of this scene looking ideal. But, honestly, none of the characters of Ed, Edd ‘n’ Eddy are flawless. That’s kind of the point of the show. This scene documents the early growing pains of two kids in their first love. Of course they’re going to fuck it up and do and say stupid things. They’re still young (that’s they’re fault); they’ve got plenty of time to learn how to do it better. Not necessarily with each other, but definitely with someone. 

[latinalesbi]

Do you have a feeling one way or the other if The Fosters will be renewed for a 6th season? With them only shooting 18 shows instead of 20 made me wonder. (I read that somewhere). But then last night someone asked Bradly and he said there are rumors.

Peter also mentioned season 6 in an interview. Freeform doesn’t really have a more successful show (even though last week’s ratings were the worst ever, not surprising considering how awful the episode was). I think if they can’t get key players in place it’s not going to be possible. So, I imagine that’s what the rumors are about.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Hopefully Callie doesn't do anything with Russell. Her going there was so stupid. Thx just adds another traumatic even to her life. She doesn't need anymore trauma. Hopefully we don't see her acting out like she has been. I think she got some trauma from being in juvie.             

Doesn’t do anything? You mean like get raped? I don’t think we’re going there. Peter pretty much said that but the trial isn’t over either (sigh, le sigh, fuck me). He said, this is it for her though, a turning point. We will see. I am sick of her story.

Anonymous said:                                                                      this was one of the worst episodes this season, if not ever. last week's episode with the whole kyle twist was the right move. take this stupid storyline and make it about callie's character development and turn her whole "the system is rigged" ideology upside down. this could've been big. but no they had to make troy guilty, make callie right (wow! teen detective cracks the case! does it illegally! yay for criminal justice!!!).             

Yeah, I agree. And so did Vulture.com, which is usually up the producer’s ass. The Kyle twist would have had far reaching consequences for Callie. This just lets her be just as self righteous as before. I am sick of it, no one is always right, and Callie does not have a clue on how to do things right. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the quick confession. It was terribly written with characters we don’t give a shit about and they’re doing it again with Diamond, literally no one cares.

And just so you feel a little angrier, they cut a Stef and Lena scene according to Peter on Afterbuzz.

Anonymous said:                                                                      So sick and tired of Callie getting in to truble like every 5min!!! Really hope season 5 will be less of these drama and more of the family love..             

Well, as Peter said:

Final thoughts on what to expect next season?Season 5 is a little bit of a reset to our family, our home, and the sort of simpler and brighter and happier times that our family really needs.

Let us hope that is true, it’s what the audience needs.

Anonymous said:                                                                      In the picture you post of Bts of Maia, Sherri and Teri.. The 4 picture in one. The one of Teri, looks like she got hit in the face. Might be just my eyes.             

Good call. There does seem to be something... Stef has some explaining to do in terms of her role in getting Callie in this particular mess. She wasn’t really looking out for her. Another terribly written story.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I hope AJ is still in the show a lot, despite not being with Callie anymore. Like it'd really upset me if they just stop his character from having screen time. I really like his character and he's more than just a love interest. I just noticed how he was on the show often when he was dating Callie and then suddenly after they break up he has no screen time. At least he is more of a main character compared to people like Wyatt

Peter said he’d be around but obviously not as much. Too bad we get rid of AJ and have to put up with more odious Aaron.

Anonymous said:                                                                      If Maia is in "Callie" clothes and is shooting a scene ifo the house, that must mean that Callie's okay, right? Like, the whole trafficking monkey business is short-lived?? I hope.    

I think she gets out of that in the first episode but that means another season opener filled with complete bullshit drama.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I finally saw last weeks episode. Now, Mariana has always been my favorite of the kids. But last week was the first time I ever disliked her. It was Emma's choice to have the abortion. I hope in 4x20 she apologizes and the two reconcile.             

Mariana who self invited her bio daddy to a house she doesn’t pay a single bill for, that Mariana? Yeah that Mariana is unlikable.

                                                                              Anonymous said:                                                                      I miss the old Jesús :( I was re watching the first episodes and seriously, everything about him is so different now. I liked him because he was so protective over his moms and the family in general (Even when he was together with Lexi) and now it seems like everything is just about Gabe or Emma. I don't why I haven't noticed before, but this Jesús sucks a lot.             

This Jesus has been Jesus for nearly 2 seasons and he just now had a nice scene with the moms. It’s ridiculous. I know this question is old but I feel exactly the same way, new Jesus is all about his bio daddy and his penis. I am sorry but that’s all I see. Old Jesus was handsome, gentlemanly and most importantly Latino.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I've noticed fosters ff has been super slow lately.. do you think it's because of a lost of interest in the show?             

I don’t know because I only follow Stef and Lena fanfic and that’s always been slow.                             

Anonymous said:                                                                      My finance, myself and many of our friends are die heart Fosters fans. We used to watch episodes live, now we DVR them & watch when we have nothing else to do (weeks later-fast forwarding most of the episode). These storylines (Daimond, Aaron, Gabe, Anna) are really sucking the want to watch out of us. Unfortunately, this has made us unsure if we will DVR or tuned in for the finale or next season.  Hope the show producers/showrunners do better & hope they don't lose more viewers due to this.             

You aren’t alone. It bothers me more than the fact that Stef and Lena weren’t allowed to kiss. The last few shows, I mean, I watched hoping they’d surprise me. I watched, hoping for some neat moments. I didn’t care at all about any of the main plots. AT ALL.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I just saw Maia Mitchell's instagram story and she was in the car with Robert and why does it look like Gabe is going to be meddling in family affairs I'm so done with this show             

There does seem to be at least a Stef and Lena scene, still,  I know episode 2 won’t be my favorite.

Anonymous said:                                                                      As someone who was born to a teenager, I definitely identify with Mariana being angry with Emma, as my entire existence is predicated on my birth mother's decision to not terminate her pregnancy. A abortion as an adopted kid is always a touchy subject, and I would like to see both pro-choice and pro-life arguments being presented.             

Wrong person to send this anon to. There’s only one person that gets to decide and that’s the pregnant woman. There’s no such thing as a pro-life argument for me. Sorry. I mean, not to get personal but since you did, how many of us are accidents? How many of of our lives were dependent on a such a choice. I was. I totally support any choice my mother might have made. If she had made the opposite choice, I wouldn’t care because I wouldn’t exist. It’s really a silly argument.                                                              

  Anonymous said:                                                                      sherri has MASTERED the look of love when looking at stef. in the episode when frank passed in the bathroom Lena is leaning on the sink mesmerized by her woman before she rallies the troops. that wonderful kitchen kiss scene when stef is having flashbacks. & in the making out in the rain scene. it's really beautiful to look at how much she loves her woman. also love stef stroking lena's face & then she pulls her chin up right before the kiss. these woman are absolute goals            

Anonymous said:                                                                      i'm the anon who just wrote about sherri mastering the look. in the making out rain scene one thing i love is seeing sherri smile into a kiss. she's so relaxed with teri now which means more from lena. after the cut back from jude clapping, that is my fav. angle they captured because you can see how close they are, like physically, second because we can see sherri smiling & then putting a bit more force behind the passionate kiss. i'll never be over that kiss. we're blessed             

Yep, gonna go watch it again!

  Anonymous said:                                                                      Why is Stef so cool about what Callie did ? I know the girl isn't going  to prison and I know Stef has to be supportive and all but Callie did all of this. It's on her and I don't understand why Stef and Lena are son nice with her. Even if they don't want her to suffer, I wish someone could tell her that what she did was wrong. Now we are supposed to feel sorry for her. I'm so tired of Callie. I wonder what happened to this character.             

They took her too far. This isn’t life is so unfair to me Callie that we could relate to. This is self destructive Callie who gives a shit about everything and it’s hard to relate to.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Does Lena have an EdD? That could help her a lot in terms of future employment if Anchor Beach goes private.             

My great big hope is that Anchor Beach goes fully public. Peter said it won’t be resolved in the way we expect so that’s what I hope. The charter has been revoked or whatever, if it’s an affiliated charter as it has been portrayed then the San Diego Unified school district would take over. The school is worth more than 10 million btw. That’s my opinion.

Lena having a PHD? I would assume so. Mike said she did but I have been unable to identify it on her wall.