#edit the math wasnt right :

[asakurahaos]

100 days until im 30....

[sapnapstummy]

I have 675 posts in my queue 🕴

[spacedlexi]

sorry if this is a personal question ... 🐛... but what are you doing for college and how did you decide to go for it?

oof

im going to school for animation but im realizing how much i love storyboarding specifically (and how little patience i have for full animating/not having the time i need to make animations that arent quick and stiff to meet a deadline (also i want adobe animate obliterated off the earth)). ive cried about how much i love boarding LMAO its that serious. but i love working with Little Guys and putting them in Situations plus theyre characters i dont have to make up myself?? im adapting a script?? but i might still be able to have fun with it? and as a lover of visual mediums i get really excited about being able to control a camera/composition for Maximum Emotional Effect, plus the idea of leading a viewer through a scene. knowing "rules" and breaking them with purpose. im in an editing class rn thats got me really excited aha

it was NOT an easy choice to make. im going back to school so late because i kept telling myself i shouldnt do it and should pick something non art related but well.... here i am.... (my mom kinda pushed the idea even tho the concept of going into art school debt keeps me up at night 💀)

i stumbled around community college for a few years hoping something else would Click for me but in the end i just kept taking art classes. i knew i would be miserable doing anything else. its still Work but its a kind of work i still derive enjoyment from even when im tired or frustrated. i think i would hate the academia world when it comes to my more scientific interests, and i dont have the patience to put up with the bs of being female presenting in a male dominated field like engineering (plus my math brain got broken by a bad calc teacher so...), so instead im taking those inspirations and using them for my art :) im a little engineer at heart so being able to apply that kind of thinking to my art inspires me (and i hope maybe something i make one day will inspire some scientists too lol). plus i dont think i would be happy if i wasnt surrounded by other artists

i doubt my choices every day 😭 but i really do love it a lot. im hoping that my passion and vision takes me SOMEWHERE in the industry, but its scary for everyone out there right now... i mostly try not to think about it honestly

[hey-hamlet]

hey hamlet! I want to know if you have any headcanons or thoughs about Shen Jiu and Shang Qinghua

I have many thoughts about both of them!

Shen Jiu

Headcanon him as a trans man tbh, one that really wishes he wasn't trans because he prefers the company of woman and has a deep seated hatred of men. Whole lot of weird thoughts in this man's head!

Hated Binghe because he was the 'right kind' of poor person - humble, kind, had a mother who loved him and a talent for cultivation that was wasnt ruined by years of torment, a bad master or starting too late.His jealous of the noble children was present, but not personal - he'd never been a noble. But he had been a street rat and Luo Binghe was the god's favourite street rat.

Threw his tea at Binghe bc the tea was terrible and he assumed that was intentional because there is something wrong with him <3

Would be much happier if he get left cultivation society and became a farmer or something, but he'd never be able to leave until Yue Qingyuan told him why he never came back, and thats never happening.

His Shizun was also terrible. If he engaged in one second of self reflection, he'd see he was carrying on the cycle of abuse. He will never do that though!

Shang Qinghua (Airplane edition)

Bad family, child of divorce with parents who stopped pretending to care about him the second they split up.

Luo Binghe is his self insert 100% - that bad boy can fit so much trauma in him!

Originally planned for a reveal of Shen Jiu's history after Binghe killed him to make a point about the cycle of abuse, but everyone was just so happy to see Shen Jiu dead that he didn't want to alienate his readers.

Hates maths but is good at it.

Woke up in the dead of night post canon, struck with the thought that his perfect man was unironically modeled off Peerless Cucumber's speech patterns, and that Cucumber fell in love with is self insert. He very carefully never thinks about that or it's many implications ever again.

[ladyaryawolf]

I need to talk with a Arya stan

The Salsa stans have already arrived saying that Arya would hate us for not loving her beloved bully because ... you know, they are sisters and therefore they have to love each other.

Oh, but they can make thousands of posts why it is okey that arya is not pretty, why she will never be a queen or that she is a crazy murderer without intelligence, of course

and they are the same people that reduce jon, who if I remember correctly, IS THE PERSON THAT ARYA LOVES MORE, MORE THAN THE DAMN CARROT

"Arya would hate us for disliking Sansa"

Well, the last time I checked, she is ficcional character. I dont think she can hate readers, u know. With that said, we have all the right to dislike a character. I am not obligated to like anyone or anything, much less for the sake of another person (that is not even real). This argument is childshi, something a ten, or better, a five years old kid would say. "You cant be my friend If you like her/him"

Also, the argument "they are sisters and they have to love each other" is also naive. Blood ties surely can help develop a relationship, but it doesn't guarantee anything. There are plentiful exemples in history where a brother/son/father stab their family members on the back without a second tought.

Before someone comes saying "Are you saying that Sansa hates Arya???". No, I am not. By as far as I have seen in the books, Arya and her well being isnt even close of Sansa's priorities. Neither of them think of each other so often, and the most part of time, not foundly either. They seem more like strangers who barely know each other, but a few curiosities.

Sansa remembers of Arya as a burden, who gets dirty and like to play with swords and the smallfolk.

Arya remembers Sansa calling her horseface, that she likes lemon cakes and dresses.

Nothing more. For me this cant be called a close bond.

The argument "Arya isnt pretty" is old and misoginistic. There are tons of posts about it, I can edit this post later and let you check how the books make clear that Arya is, indeed, gorgeous. But I am not in the mood for now.

"Arya will never be Queen" is also old. There are plentiful foreshadows about It in her chapters and symbolism, but I wont get further into it. I couldnt care less If she has a crown on her head or not.

"Crazy murder without intelligence." Not even in the show this is true, and in the books she is one of the most inteligent characters so far together with Dany, Tyrion and Jon. She wouldn't be able to survive otherwise, she is good at math, and learned four or five languages really fast. Responsible for letting Robb taking control of Harrenhal If I am not mistaken, and manipuleted a Faceless Man as easily(Not an easy deed). Out of It, she is perceptive as hell.

Reducing Jon is also ridiculous. This when You know how they didnt read the books, when they treat him like a trophy, forgetting how insanely good he is in strategy and war tatics. He wasnt known even across the Narrow Sea for nothing.

You are right, of all her brothers, Arya loves him the most, and no, I am not saying romantically. It is explicit in the text by Canonic Timeline.

The best advice I can Tell you, try to ignore them. Block them. They arent worthy the effort of your frustration.

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[hugsfromdad]

I've been mia on here, but not mia in the disaster bisexual front. So lemme fill you in

Okay, so idk if I've talked on here over the past few months about a cute cashier, but I can't seem to find it on my blog, so imma assume I haven't.

Back in mid August, I got my kitten. I got him 2 weeks earlier than expected, so the day before I picked him up, I had to run out and get his supplies. My friend was coming over that day, so we decided to hang out (outside) at my house, go get ice cream, and then go to the pet store for my stuff. after we got all that I needed, we went into Market Basket to buy some snacks so we could sit out in the parking lot and talk for a few hours. Well, that's where this story starts.

I looked hella fucking gay that day. (Striped button up UNbuttoned like halfway, my huge choker chain, and then my white washed levi's with a white 'Sisters' belt, and white converses. I can post a pic later if y'all want) so anyways, I was expecting to get some looks and stared. I did. Whatever. Well, were checking out at the speed aisle, and I notice eyes on me. I normally glace around when I'm checking out to see who is working, but I was met this time by the gaze of a cashier two rows back. I glanced down cause I didn't want to be rude, but when I check again, she was still looking at me. So I intentionally held her gaze for a few moments as I took note of what she looked like. Then I finished checking out and left with my friend.

While I'm a disaster bi and will focus and freak out over the smallest interraction with a cute person, I have become aware that most people (my friends) don't read into moments like that and will make fun of me if I do. That being said, I told myself it was probably just in my head and not that significant; that she was just checking out my outfit and clocking me as either a gay guy out with his girlfriend, (which was pretty much the case) or a couple getting some things.

WELL, so right as I was trying to not make anything out of it, my friend turns to me and goes. "Did you see that cashier staring at you? Like, she kept looking at you." And I was like "OKAY SO IT WASNT JUST ME" and she was like "no, she was really looking at you. She's really cute, too." And thus it began.

She's got a great style (also gorgeous even with a mask on, but I was more intrigued and attracted to her style). I told her that I liked her style a couple months ago and she repeated it back to me. She wears multiple necklaces, rings, and somehow makes her store uniform look cool. When I first really took note of her, my immediate thought was "she gives me west coast vibes." My best friend agreed with me when we were in the store together and she was there. And she might not be from the west coast, but if she told me she was from san Fransisco, I would believe it in a heartbeat. She got like a modern Marissa from the OC style. (I didn't watch the show, only those couple gay scenes with her character in it, so don't come for me)

So anyways, for the first 3-4ish months, my brain would short circuit as soon as we would lock eyes. Like, I can't describe it besides just a fog or a mental lockdown. I could like make eye contact, but I would just be in constant panic. I also couldn't imagine what to do next. Thus, I would panic and choose to go in a different aisle than hers for the first while. I didn't know what to do with a gorgeous woman who had eyes on me. (ALSO; I would like to state that her vibes and style are so immaculate, that I almost expect her to be gay. I thought she was clocking me as another gay person at first, but then I realized that we gays don't stare at someone of the opposite gender THIS much. So she could be gay. Idk. I'm good either way.)

Back to the panic: so it took me awhile to actually get the nerve up to choose her aisle when I could. Then we finally like interacted. I finally got her name, and I like asked her how she was. This happened like twice, and then there was a time I came in right after seeing my nephews(socially distanced). It was a slower day, so I didn't feel hurried in moving along. I asked her how her day was, and she answered and asked how mine was. I mentioner being happy cause I finally got to see my nephews after months of not. She then asked how old they were. We talked for a moment before I knew I have to go. It was as I was picking up my bag that I paused and looked at her and said "I've been meaning to say, I like your style." She like paused and said thanks, and that she liked mine as well. I then said something like "see you next time" and left.

From then, I'd see her when I went in, but almost every time she was in the wrong lane. We'd lock eyes as I walked in, and as I checked out and left, but we didn't get to like talk. That is, until I was tagging along shopping with my mum the day after fucking election night.

I don't think I need to say that I was more anxious and distracted than I had ever been when going in, and glued to my phone; refreshing google and watching the numbers come in. I don't think I even looked up when I walked in. I was in another place. I should also mention that I had noticed that the cute cashier (that's literally my nickname for her) usually worked on the weekends. This was a wednesday. So I was NOT paying sttention. I just followed my mum around the store while watching my phone and trying to do the math to see if there was a possibility that biden could win. Well, my mother eventually stuck us in line to check out, and asks me to get off my phone and help her unload, thats when I lift me head, and I'm staring directly into her eyes.

She was bagging for our aisle, so she was just standing there in my direct line of sight. And she has been watching me, waiting for me to fucking finally look up.

I'm sure I looked beyond stunned. Because I was. I honestly was so braindead from the day, that it took me a moment of staring back at to her process as to what was happening. I got it together quickly tho and bantered and talked with her a bit as she bagged and I helped load. She definitely was doing more than most, if that makes sense. I challenged her to fitting all of the groceries onto one cart cause she said she could. It was fun, and I think I again said "see you around* or something like that as we left.

And once again, once we got outside, my mother now goes "oh that bagger was cute." And I told her that that was the cute one I had mentioned before. THEN SHE GOES "oh yeah I picked up on that vibe of y'all." And I WANTED to ask her what that MEANT, but I didn't want to push it and then have my mother know/be able to make things awakrd.

ANYWAYS, 3 chapters in, lemme get to last months. I fucking got in anxiety meds. AND MY WORLD CHANGED. my mental block and fog was GONE. I could finally see a pathway through to like actually talking talking to her. SO, I pulled out a receipt, wrote down my number, and stuck it in my wallet for the next time I saw her.

Welp, the next time that was, she was in the wrong lane and teaching a new cashier what to do, so there was no way I was gonna try and insert myself into that situation. BUT, as I was walking both in and out, we locked eyes as usual, but this time as I was leaving, I did like a quick smile which caused me to squint my eyes for a half second. It almost looks like when a cat does their slow blink at you. I saw her respond to that and like smile back at me as I left. It was the first time I had ever done anything that was direct and nonverbally flirty.

So, I had to go again last night. And my parents were putting us in strict lockdown for the next 10 days, so we had to stock up. Before we left, I rewrote my note. And I told my best friends what was happening, and no matter what was the situation, I was gonna give her the note.

Well, she wasnt there. I was extremely disappointed.

Annnnd that leaves us here. It's gonna be a good 10-14 days before I'm allowed to go out, but youd better fucking believe it when I say that imma be giving her my number the moment I see her next. So wish me luck.

And also in case anyone asks; I don't want to try any dating apps cause I hate them. Also I'm half asleep now she don't have the energy to go back and edit this. Hopefully it's coherent.

So I guess I'll update y'all when I eventually get to leave the house and see her again

[vore-scientist]

Bookish (safe soft willing platonic GT M/f vore)

Ok a little explanation is needed for this: IT'S NOT PART OF THE NORMAL MYSTIC WOODS. 

IT'S AN AU+ CROSSOVER SILLINESS

Been talking with @vixen525 (dA, tumblr) and we’ve been talking about fun crossovers with our worlds/characters and this came out of that! 

Contains: safe, soft, non-sexual, willing M/f GT vore No warnings. 

To set you up: Yonah, for whatever reason it’s not important for this story, got transported to the dimension/world of TerraSyor (which belongs to @vixen525 ), but in the process suffered memory loss (bc I wanted to be cliche as fuck and it makes things so much fun!!!). Giants in TerraSyor are called Syors or Syorians which are two subspecies. Check their dA for more information. They are a LOT larger than Yonah. But anyways. That’s kinda the set up, other things you need to know are explained in the story. 

---

“Can you stop pacing? It’s giving me a Syor sized headache.” 

On a desk in the Office of the Giant King was a small desk! And on that desk was an even smaller one! A very odd sight. Even for a very odd King, but it had been like this for about a month now. Ever since a mysterious stranger appeared in the Ruby Isles and had been taken by King Connor to be the new personal guard to his Chief Royal Advisor of Politics. The Small desk belonged to this stranger. The smaller desk to the advisor. And she was getting a bit frustrated. 

For the stranger, who’s name was Yonah HaEsh, was nervous for what she felt was a bit of a silly reason. He was pacing around his desk and stroking his dark goatee, running his hands through his long curly black hair. It was in theory, his “payday” but he refused to take any normal payment. He felt that the generosity and situation he found himself in as a new guard who had all his needs taken care of, and as someone who viewed himself in a temporary position until he found his way back to his home dimension, he had no need for money. But there were other needs. Well not needs, but wants. 

And yet Yonah was still having second thoughts. 

“It just feels wrong… paying someone to let me eat them!” he said for the hundredth time since being offered and him accepting said offer. 

Yonah didn’t remember much, something about the trip through dimensions had rattled his head. But he knew a few things. He was half-giant. Though even that was in doubt as giants, or Syor/Syorians, were more than twice his size, much more. He was a puny 23.5ft and the taller Syor/ians were close to 100! He knew he was a wizard, which was in no doubt given the crazy outfit he had been wearing upon his violent arrival on the island. He now wore a custom royal guard uniform, but he kept on his wizard hat. He knew that his name was Yonah. He knew a few other details, like magical knowledge and… that humans tasted really good. That he liked to eat them. 

He also knew that unlike Syor/ians, he didn’t have the same desire to eat humans, just that he liked to, so why shouldn’t he? He’d eaten Naomi, the aforementioned advisor, a few times, but she really belonged to the King. It felt oddly like she was cheating on her king when he ate her. 

Due to the extreme fancy for humans that Syor/ians had, it turns out the castle had, on retainer, a number of humans paid to be safely eaten. Most did it for the quick coin, but a few stuck around. Apparently this was such a human. One who at least kind of enjoyed this job. That didn’t make Yonah feel any better about it. But he also hadn’t eaten that morning, in anticipation and out of courtesy to what would be his guest. So he was hungry. 

“Can’t I just eat you? Or I can get a new robe!” he said. 

“She’s already been paid, and some variety is good for you,” Naomi glanced up briefly and smiled at him, trying to reassure him. Her new guard was so strange. He was fiercely loyal from the start, wicked smart, and strong, but he had a strange temper and the most interesting things threw him off. Like getting to eat someone! The first time he ate her he’d fallen apart, sobbing like he’d lost a loved one. Wild, since It was perfectly safe, the king had the finest Terran Artificers craft protective amulets. She wore a very stunning one on her wrist, a large silver bracer engraved with depictions of her island, complete with a golden, magical gemstone as the sun. 

A knock on the door to the office signalled the arrival of Yonah’s “payment”. Naomi snapped her fingers and the door’s protective wards momentarily lifted and a uniformed Syor came in, bowing as they did. 

In their hand was a platform, upon which was a cushion, but from this distance it was hard to see the human. It still felt like being served up food, on a silver platter. 

The Syor stopped at the desk and glared down at the much smaller giant. Like Yonah had stolen their treat. But yonah wasnt really paying attention to the guard trying to intimidate him. He was focused on the human.

A young woman lounged on the cushion, paying no heed to what was going on at all, and her bespectacled eyes were engrossed in a book. She had on little clothing but it was extremely fancy, and her hair was done up with golden bands. Those reeked of magic and Yonah knew those composed her protective amulet. She also had a small bowl of candied nuts and fresh berries that must be balanced with magic next to her. No, the bowl was set atop a pile of books and a few others were tucked around her. 

She looked up and down at Yonah, her eyes getting wide but not in horror, but in a bit of afronted shock. After taking another candy she spoke to Naomi. 

“I’m getting that first edition signed copy of The Chronicles of Percival The DragonMancer, right? Otherwise I’d rather be eaten by drooly over here” she indicated the Syor that swallowed guiltily. 

Yonah couldn’t really blame her. Being eaten by a Syor or Syorian had to be much different than by him. He was so much smaller! It must be so much more confining, and being swallowed down… If it was a painful effort for him, it must be awful for the one he was eating. He imagined being swallowed by one of this world’s giants was still terrifying in it’s own way, but not so suffocating. 

“Sure are!” Naomi didn’t even look up from her papers. 

The woman motioned to be placed down on the desk and the Syor obliged. Then they gave her a quick sniff and even dared a lick with the tip of their tongue against her back and left without another word. She should be perfectly safe, this was the king’s office, and the only others in the room were a new but trusted guard and the king’s best friend. Ok best friend is an understatement for what Naomi truly was. She and the king were as close as two could be, they loved each other very much, though they were not romantically or sexually involved. 

Stretching and putting her book down the woman stepped onto the desk to get a look at the one who was to eat her. Short and stocky, She had the build of someone who got plenty of exercise living amongst giants but also was given all the sweets she desired any time of the day. And the attitude of someone who thought nothing of being eaten, but was a little wary of the prospect for the first time in a while. She was sizing Yonah up and her calculations weren’t leading to kind results. And she was good at math. While she lived the life of Extremely luxury given to a spoiled pet, she was horrifyingly well read and used her pay for the finest tutors in the land. Some of them were Syor/ian who were more than happy to be paid with getting to eat her. 

She also did not fail to notice the trepidations of the half-giant that knelt down next his desk, and waited for her to approach, which she did. But she did not climb up onto his lap, not her job to initiate, she was their snack. She literally had to do nothing and she got everything she wanted. 

“Oh, I left my glasses on, I’ll be right back-” she turned but then stopped when Yonah spoke. 

“Ehm, hi,” Yonah said, then decided he didn’t want to be so awkward. He wasn’t a teenager asking out a schoolyard crush. “My name is Yonah, and your name is?”

It occurred to her that not many of the Syor/ians that she was presented to asked her name. How many even knew it? She turned around to see the kind brown eyes behind glasses much thicker than her own. 

“Danielle, Dani,” she said. 

“So, ehm, do you like books?” he asked. 

Oh, a talker. Some liked to have conversations though most just shoved her down their gullets. It was at least a nice attempt to acknowledge her personhood. Not that she really minded, she was living her best life. 

“You bet! I think I’ve read more than nerdy naomi,” she said, finding herself being a bit more chatty than she thought she’d be. 

“Hey! All you do it read when you’re not in a giant’s gut! I got to read documents all day long, so sue me if I dont have the time or energy for every fictional book in the damn library!” Naomi was somehow able to concentrate on her work and still give a brilliant comeback. 

“Anyways,” Yonah said, getting Dani’s attention, “I also like to read! And I think I might have some books you would like.”

“I’m already paid for today,” said Dani, she was interested but was sure there was some ulterior motive. The giants loved to flatter her with gifts, hoping for extra time, but she never gave it. She knew how delicious she was. 

“I’m still unsure about eating you, but I wouldn’t want you to waste your time. Here,” he took off his head and Dani looked genuinely surprised and curious when he stuck his hand in and pulled out a selection of novels. 

“I don’t know if you’ve been told, but I’m from another world entirely, and apparently my hat is full of books!” Yonah held out his hand with the books to Dani who lost all her professional aura and took them all, taking in their covers, which had art styles wholly unfamiliar to her

They were completely unfamiliar to her, in fact the titles were half nonsense. 

‘Stars Without Number, The Tetremalin Time Bomb. A Captain Alfred and the Mystery of the Sigma Quadrant Adventure’ and  ‘The Fantastic Romantic Escapades of The Fantabulous Darington and The One that Got Away’ and ‘MythAdventures: The Awakened Automaton, a Gaslamp Steamfantasy for All Ages’ and one that was not a book but bound with twine titled ‘The Ice Princess, The Official Scripts by the Silken Breath Order, episodes 1-10, with hand-written edits’

“I can have these!?” she couldn’t believe, books no one else had! Books from another world with brand new stories and possibly new genres. Her heart could barely contain itself in her chest. 

Yonah looked at Naomi who gave him a knowing glance. He should really reel it in on the gifts. “You can have one, for now,” he said. A few memories trickled in. “I personally loved MythAdventures, it’s got a fantastic twist.”

Dani smiled, and returned the other books into his hand, but with a big smile she hugged the MythAdventures, she sniffed it deeply. It even smelled like far away. 

Without another word she returned to her cushion, but instead of settling down she took her bowl of candies and returned to Yonah, clambering onto his knees, settling down. It was very adorable and Yonah couldn’t help but smile.  

“Why dont I read it to you?” he asked, adjusting to sit criss cross, so she was a bit sprawled out on his skirt. Then without warning he took something from a pouch at his side and dabbed it on his tongue and said words in a language she didn’t know. Which was frustrating, she knew a lot of languages 

Woah! A burst of grey smoke spread around her, sourced from the half-giant. Only he was not giant any longer. He was human sized. Or nearly, and she was still in his lap. She knew shrinking spells existed but this was not any she had read about. Also, up until now she was certain he had been humoring her about not eating her and just feeling sorry for her and so giving her extra books. But he definitely couldn’t eat her at this size. She also loved to be read to. 

“Yes please!” she handed him back the book. He adjusted his glasses and got more comfortable, with Dani laying across his legs. Even shrunk, he was still a comfy spot, he was chubby, very soft and warm. 

“Would you like a honey nut?” she held up the bowl, “they are almost as tasty as me!” 

Yoanh laughed and took a few. They were indeed tasty. The honey stuck to his teeth and Dani giggled as he licked it from his fangs like a dog licking peanut butter from the roof of its mouth. Finally his mouth was candy free and he opened the book. 

“Oh shoot, this is book 3, I’m so sorry,” he said, “I think I have the first two but,” he reached into his hat again and winced. Then he dismissed his reduction and pulled out two giant sized books. Giant sized for Yonah, so a bit oversized. Dani looked amused, as if she thought this was his plan all along. 

“That’s alright! Why don’t you eat me and read to me, the Syorians have done that a few times, and it was nice.”

Eat her and read to her? Why did that stir a memory? Why was he sure he’d done that for someone else. Someone important to him. The thought was so tempting, even though he kinda planned to just let her continue to sit in his lap. Then His stomach grumbled a bit. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

“It’s my job silly! And if you read to me it would be much less like a job!” she hopped off his lap and returned her new book, her bowl of candy, and her glasses to her cushion. This time when she returned it was to climb back onto him. “Alright! Ready to be eaten!” 

If not for her eagerness Yonah might not have proceeded to pick her up and after giving her a playful sniff, shove her into his mouth. 

While a Syor/ian could fit an entire human in their mouth, Yonah couldn’t. Not even close. Most of her body was dangling out. With her minimal amount of clothing yonah got a massive amount of flavor and she had been right. She was delicious. And Yonah did not want to torture her for so long so He worked her to the back of his mouth and tipped his head back to begin swallowing. Next time… next time he would spend more time tasting her. 

Despite not having all his memories, Yonah knew he was proud to be half-giant, though as his throat stretched and the human’s form pressed against his windpipe as he forced her down into his esophagus, he kinda wished he was fully giant. It was painful, in kind of a good way, and he kept swallowing. Eventually her feet disappeared into his throat, and with that her hands entered his stomach, then the rest of her! She was super filling. And that was one reason he was glad to be half-giant, surely for whatever a full giant was, and he was certain his mother was one, eating a single human couldn’t be so satisfying. He slumped with a content sigh and rubbed his belly. 

This just felt... right. He was full and so so so happy. 

“Hey! Aren't you gonna read? If im gonna be so squished I'd like you to keep your word”

Yonah snapped back and also looked at Naomi. He was on duty! He was on guard! Yes this office was extremely secure but he couldn’t completely slack off. And a full belly seemed to lull him a bit. This alarmed him and most of his sleepiness went away. 

Naomi had watched the entire thing, for she was curious as to how such a small giant could swallow a human, but he did. It looked uncomfortable for him but clearly enjoyable. And seeing his stomach become pleasantly full… very different from when Syor/ians ate folks. Except for how pleased Yonah was with himself, that was exactly like a Syor/ian. 

“Yes yes, I… you taste delightful Dani!” he said, back to being a bit awkward with compliments. 

He looked down at his middle and saw the slight signs of a human being trapped inside his gut. The small occasional tremors as she tried to find a comfortable position, and a few times little dents that corresponded to when he could feel her stretch out. He was just tickled peachy watching, feeling. Until he figured that was enough time and he reached for the book. 

As he read he felt Dani relax, but not to the point where she was going to fall asleep. Oh no, she stayed wide awake as Yonah read to her. He did at some point get some water, as his throat got extremely dry, telling Dani what was about to happen so she wouldn’t freak out. She said the cool water felt refreshing! So that was nice. 

There was a notable moment when he took a break to talk to Naomi. She needed a bit of a break too, her eyes were starting to get tired from looking at documents for so long. First she just summarized in words a few of the documents, good practice to tell Connor later. In the month since Yonah’s arrival she had started to go over things briefly with her guard before Connor, to organize things in her head a bit better. Even if Yonah didn’t understand their politics it was very helpful. 

Plus she was super curious about Dani. Or rather, about Yonah having eaten Dani. Naomi knew how weird and different it was to be eaten by Yonah, and Yonah had been very descriptive about how it felt, that he could very acutely tell even minor movements. That he could place his hand on his stomach and feel whoever was inside! This was something Syor/ians could not do, simply because of their size. 

“I don’t mind you touching, but Dani might,” he said, poking himself a bit, causing Dani to stir. 

He had been poking and rubbing his stomach at fairly regular intervals while he read but Dani was still not used to such intrusions upon her space. Syor/ian stomachs were much more cavernous, no such effects at all. Naomi was entranced, and then a bit horrified upon a tremor, and the slightest of movements, especially since before seeing it, yonah just seemed like he’d eaten a good meal, not a person. You could not tell if a Syor/rian had eaten someone, not at all.

“Naomi’s gonna, em, examine me, and you might feel her pressing into my stomach, if that’s ok!” Yonah asked. Naomi was sitting on his thigh as Yonah sat crossed legged, but she stood up now.

“Hmmm, yeah that’s fine!” Dani said, shifting again. Hmmm. Maybe. She pressed a hand to what she knew was the “front” of the stomach.

Naomi gasped as she saw the movement and with only a little hesitation placed her hands at the spot and leaned in.

By the guards of the underworld That felt wrong! That had to be an elbow or a hand. It was obviously a person trapped underneath the layers of fat and flesh. And she could feel as Dani shifted even a little. The best way to describe it is like feeling floating ribs. It was unnerving so she stopped after only a short time.

“I’m, going to get a snack and get back to work.” she said. 

“Not without my escort!” Yonah picked her up and climbed down the desk. They could easily call a servant but Yonah needed to stretch his legs. He couldn’t have a snack since Dani was his snack, but a walk to the kitchens was very much needed. 

Once they got back Naomi dived into her paperwork again. Yonah sat back down at his desk and continued to read. 

And when his time with her was up, he poked at Dani again, and she let out a long groan.

“But you’re not done!!!” she pounded against his stomach in frustration. “You’re so good at reading!!”

That made Yonah feel good! This little human had enjoyed her time being eaten. He almost started crying again, as wonderful as this had been it still made him sad? But in a good way. 

Also she was very correct, they weren’t even halfway through the book.  But really, it was time for a late lunch, and since Yonah had skipped breakfast, he shouldn’t skip another meal. Not very responsible for a guard to go hungry. And he wasn’t gonna eat with her sitting in there. No way. Even if Syor/ians did that, he felt like due to his size it would be incredibly unpleasant, and he was already so full he couldn't eat a proper meal without becoming overstuffed, and burying his occupant. 

Guess he would just have to eat her again soon. 

Once he spat her up and cleaned her off, she turned to Naomi.

“Can he eat me again? Like! tomorrow!?” She practically squealed at Naomi who looked at them both with her knowing gaze - like she had her suspicions this might happen, that she might have requested Dani be his treat for this specific reason. 

“Perhaps,” she said, and smiled so deviously. And Yonah’s face turned a little red.

That might be a bit too soon! That felt like exploitation to Yonah, But he’d love to read to her again so they could progress in the story without her having to be in his gut. And with his lost memories, he knew he was getting to read his favorite books like they were new! Or at least, sort of new. 

And it was something to do while Naomi did her mountains of paperwork. 

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG!

REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’]

[alberteatsglass]

everythings connected - chapter 3

we are fucking BACK my guys

i spent like all day writing this but whatever

-

warnings: uhhh there is a dead body, a lot of cursing at the end, and at the start jack had his hands tied literally

word count: 2,319 its a long chapter but a lot happens

edited: fuck no who has the time

-

prologue

part one

part two

-

“Wait, wait, wait, you know this song?” an old beat-up brown car drove down a long dirt road kicking up dust behind it. The sun gleamed down on the roof of the car heating it up slowly. Jack stopped his attempt to get the scarf that was tied tightly around his wrists off for a moment to look up at spot nervously.

“What do you mean?” he asked lightly, not sure why this would even be brought up.

“You were humming. I’ll ask again, do you know this song?” spot wasnt taking his eyes off the road drumming his fingers lightly against the steering wheel.

“I. . .i know this song yeah” jack gave spot a weird look. The two had been driving for a couple of days and that had been the first song that came through on the busted up radio of the old car. Or course the first song to play had to be a trashy pop song but jack had heard it enough times and it was catchy so he ended up humming along trying to avoid eye contact with the other person in the car.

“How?” spot glanced up at jack confused. The boy shifted in his seat uncomfortably ending up making eye contact with him.

“I’ve heard it before” jack answered shortly hoping that was a good enough response.

“Wait- do they make the person in there sing the same song over and over again?!” he could have sworn spot looked concerned for a second there. “That must get boring after a while, why do people let that happen?”

“Do you. . .thats not how it. . .works” jack got out after a moment of hesitation “have you never listened to the radio before?”

“Once or twice” spot looked like he was thinking “i always figured there was a person in there being forced to sing all day, or getting paid to”

“No its a recording. . .” Spot hummed slightly looking back at the road not sure what to say to that and jack looked down as the car continued down the road. 

The sun was starting to set as the car came up to a small gas station. As if on queue the car sputtered and stopped right in front of the entrance but spot didnt even look surprised at that. He did, however, look surprised to see a small boy sitting at the entrance of this clearly abandoned and shut down gas station all by himself holding a silver crutch looking confused and scared out of his mind.

-

Albert sighed wiping the sweat off his brow. He wished he never took the job but there he stood behind the counter of a starbucks at rush hour. The customers were annoying and so were his coworkers but albert just needed to survive the day so he could go home. 

Another customer walked up sporting a yellow jacket looking very pleased with everything around him. It was almost annoying to see how happy he was but albert took a deep breath. Just a couple more hours and his shift would be over.

He walked up to the counter and albert gave him a fake smile ready to take his order but the boy silently leaned forward looking him dead in the eyes, as if doing math in his head. Albert, or course, took a step back and the stranger blinked before asking more to himself.

“Are you a clue and acompliance, or. . .a partner?”

“What do you mean-”

“A partner, I knew it.” they boy beamed straightening his posture and holding out his hand “I’m Ractrack, Racetrack Higgins.”

Albert wasnt sure what to say and ‘racetrack’ faltered a bit when he didnt take the handshake. He had dealt with a lot of weird customers in his time but god damn it albert just wanted to get through the day.

“Im a detective, a holistic detective might i add, who is looking for a lost child.” racetrack clarified seeing the weird look albert was giving. “Have you seen anything that might raise suspicion around here lately?”

“No i havent- wait a holistic detective?” albert was even more confused “what’s that?”

“Well the word holistic refers to the interconnectedness of all things-”

“Look man can i get you some coffee or something?” albert snapped but race didnt seem to mind at all, humming slightly to himself.

“I’ll have a. . .quad long shot grande in a venti cup half calf double cupped no sleeve salted caramel mocha latte with 2 pumps of vanilla substitute 2 pumps of white chocolate mocha for mocha and substitute 2 pumps of hazelnut for  toffee nut half whole milk and half breve with no whipped cream extra hot extra foam extra caramel drizzle extra salt add a scoop of vanilla bean powder with light ice well stirred.” race got out with a smile but seeing alberts blank stare he added “or just a caramel frappe”

Albert sighed and got to work on race’s order and race sat down at one of the tables tapping his fingers on the top of it. Eventually, albert got him his coffee and race left with some horribly timed finger guns. After a couple more hours it was the end of his shift but his boss came up to him and asked him to take out the trash, not a big deal. What was a big deal was what he saw when he walked out to the dumpster.

There was a man on the ground bleeding out of his chest clearly dead.

-

“Give me a run down romeo, who are these guys.” finch commanded more than asked driving a large black van slowly down the road.

Romeo looked up from where he had been reading in the back seat smirking. “You know david told us to read these files, thought you played by the rules.”

“Yeah well i havent exactly had the time-”

“Fine fine, okay, the one with the eye patch? Thats project tribulatio, he can stop anything in motion. Picture the juggernaut but reversed. He is usually seen carrying a bat and dont think for a second about shooting him because he can stop bullets with that thing.”

“The director told us he needed them back alive anyway-”

“Its called an expression finch-” romeo sighed “the one with the glasses? He is project aspectu, he can give mainly false tellings of the future. The youngest one with them, project parvus, she is a human fortune cookie. Her ability is saying very cryptic things basically.”

“Thats. . .”

“Odd? I know. Whats even more strange is that its been shown she can teleport and open locked doors at random. When tested further she was not able to do these things on command.”

“There were four people on the list.” finch commented when romeo said nothing else to him.

“That leads us to the leader of the group, project periculum. Her ability is not really known. When put in high-pressure situations things around her start to float but it is not for sure whether she can control it or not or is doing it on purpose.”

“So we are facing a girl who can move things with her mind, a disappearing kid, a horrible fortune teller, and a boy who can stop bullets with a fucking bat.” finch clarified.

“Yes precisely”

“Why the hell did i take this job” he mumbled putting his head on the steering wheel.

-

A small puff of smoke was exhaled as a girl leaned on a beat-up black van. She sighed her eyes darting around a little before going back to ideally picking at her painted black fingernails and fidgeting with a cigarette. There was a boy sitting on the hood of the van twirling a baseball bat in his hands impatiently smiling. He had an eye patch over his right eye and kept looking over to the girl hesitating on a question. The two made eye contact and finally, he asked it.

“When are they gonna be back?” he asked lightly, throwing the bat in the air then catching it almost falling off the van.

“So help me God if you ask again, the kid works on their own time you know that.” the girl frowned slightly. “They will be back but when i can't be sure.”

“We can't just wait here.” a figure exited the van cleaning off his glasses yawning slightly. “You know i heard a rumour-”

“Your rumours are wrong almost every time and you know it.”

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the van this morning, snipes” the boy put his glasses on pulling the sleeves of his black hoodie up as well.

“Dont call me that.” she snapped putting out her cigarette and standing up a little taller, clearly intimidating the boy with the glasses.

“Yeah specs get with it, the only one allowed to called sniper that is the kid” the boy with the bat joked earning a dark glare from sniper. She cracked her knuckles and the two stopped giggling so much going silent.

“The kid has saved our ass’s more times than you can count with your shoes on, so excuse me for being just a little bit grateful blink.” as the group argued a van slowly made its way closer to the group, pulling up in the same parking lot.

Two people made their way out of the van earning a death glare from the three, all of them imminently getting into a fighting stance much to the dismay of people from the van.

“I was gonna tell you- i heard a rumour that blackwing-”

“Now is really not the time” sniper cut off specs making eye contact with one of the people. “What the fuck are you doing here. The program has been shut down for ages and we have done nothing out of the ordinary since. Do us all a favour and leave before things get messy.”

“My name is finch and yes we are from black wing” they spoke carefully “we are here to ask you to come back, to come with us”

“I have a strong feeling there isnt gonna be a lot of asking involved” blink commented practice swinging his bat twirling a little. 

“We promise you-”

“You cant promise us shit.” specs crossed his arms. 

“If you would just come with us there would be no reason for the situation to get violent-”

“Now why would that happen?” sniper asked stepping forward, little pieces of broken concrete and pebbles lifting of the ground as finch and the person with him stepped back. She smirked a little when she added: “even with the couple more back up cars you have you cant get all of us, you probably cant even get one of us and make it out alive.”

Blink and specs both backed up sniper walking forward in the most menacing way they could. The man next to finch was going to say something but the doors of the three’s van swung open to reveal a small kid in a baggy green hoodie falling. They managed to catch themself before they hit the ground and the others moved to stand in front of them defensively, the only one startled being the finch.

“Project parvus, how nice of you to join us,” The other boy said.

”thats not my name-” they called out from behind sniper “who are you people???”

“I’m romeo-”

“Blackwing.” sniper stated coldly “they are from the organization that ruined our lives.”

“The white rooms?” the kid looked confused, tugging on blinks sleeve when they asked the question a little quieter. Blink nodded slightly to them still glaring at romeo and finch. Sniper started to back up and so did the others, making their way back to the van.

Romeo went to move closer to them but finch put a hand in front of him fast.

“We dont want to have to force you to come back but if you do not comply we are going to be forced to hunt you down.” finch spoke carefully making eye contact with sniper “im sure that wouldnt be good for any of you, including the kid”

“Leave smalls out of this” specs said lowly looking like they were going to run at the two any second but if he was going to sniper was clearly going to first.

“If you are not going to come with us we are going to come back with reinforcements.” finch said in a calm tone that made sniper want to bash his teeth in.

“We will be ready when you do. By tomorrow we’s gonna be long gone and your entire organization is gonna look real stupid.” blink spoke up gripping his bat tighter “just try and stop us from leaving, why dont’cha”

The group had backed up to the van and the whole world was watching sniper to see what she would do. She hesitated for a moment as if she was considering doing something but she gestured to the car and just like that all of them as fast as they could, got in.

“Well that went. . .horrible.” romeo commented after the van had drove away

“At least we got out alive- our job here was just to confront them and try to do it peacefully, next time it wont be like that.”

“There was a chance of us NOT coming out alive???”

“Didnt you read the files?”

“Very funny- we should probably go tell jacobs about our utter failure.” romeo sighed and finch followed him back to their black van. The two sat back in theirr seats not sure what to say and finch started back up the car. They almost drove away before hearing a small sneeze from behind them. The two made eye contact for a moment and slowly turned around to see the same kid from before sitting in the back seat.

The same kid as before, project parvus.

-

crutchie is here someone is dead romeo and finch are confused hotel trivago

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[yeahiwasintheshit]

so i finally watched the new season of stranger things, and i still stick by my original opinion that this series was only written to be a one season show. When s2 came it out it seemed clear to me, that with its big success they scrambled to push out s2, which is clearly weaker, repetitive and just kinda disappointing and stinky. the first season i loved! it was a great mystery, its was a coming of age period piece, it was horror, humor, suspense, it was all these great things that felt right and actually was written really well as a whole, and even more impressive, there was some pretty good acting by a cast of children. the whole 80s angle was great in s1 but it wasnt the huge ridiculousness it became in s3. like it was just too over the top and just stupid at point. the music. oh jeez every scene had an 80s song. it just felt a little desperate. like they did that in the first season too, but it wasnt this blatant and bottom of the barrel. idk. it was just played up too hard or something.


the problem i think is that they only thought this was going to be a one season show because they did the one thing youre not supposed to do in a mystery, which is solve it at the end of s1. so they had to come up with something in s2 quick, cause kids grow fast and you need to capitalize on the cultural thing it became, and they basically did the same damn thing as s1. they also made the mistake of adding more and more people in the damn show. i tried finding a pic of the entire cast all in one pic and you just cant find one, CAUSE THERES JUST TOO MANY OF THEM!!!! which is a huge problem starting in s2 and in s3. stop adding more kids!! you had the core 4 kids who were really great together. there was good chemistry among them, and also with 11 too and the parents and sheriff thicc. adding all these new kids just left less for the original 4 kids to say and do. 11 will always be the main character and have the most to do. but what the hell did lucas do all season 3, or mike besides being a love interest for 11, or will besides grab the back of his neck… and it would seem to me that will would be as integral to the main plot as eleven is, since he was in the underground, and had all this shit happen to him, so hed have some kind of target on him or have some knowledge or idk something more to do, but no, theres just another shot of him and his spidey-sense not saying or doing much else. 
like i said the problem is there too many damn people. get rid of nancy, jonathan, steve, max, erica, billy i could do without them all, or at least shrink their roles considerably. the nancy and jonathan adventures were just painful s2, and just boring and pointless this season, cause whatever they dug up, 11 would have gotten to it anyway. erica was just a pain in the ass little shit, who had a couple good one liners but was mostly just an uneccesary mean shit, and ok shes a math genius, thats good, at least they shaded her character a little more than just being a dee from whats happening clone. and it like dustin was also a math genius he could have done all that without her, and her role could have easily been smaller to give the main cast more to do. max is another not well written character but at least they gave her something more to do, i liked her friendship with 11 and her helping evolve and mature the most important character of the show. 
and like i get it that the guy who plays steve is a popular actor and his character is popular, but the really stupid bond he and dustin have is almost cringe worthy. like why is this college aged adult hanging around these literal children. he might as well be a pair of loafers, they shoe horned him in so desperately. 
ugh, i just wish whatever lmagic they created in s1 found its way into either of the next 2 seasons, but it didnt. it lost what was special about it, and that kinda sucks.

EDIT: i wrote this the other day intent on coming back and editing it, and i dont even feel like re-reading it lol

[cryptic-eccentric]

it might just be the lack of sleep talking but holy shit

(( warning for a long ass semi delirious post ahead u might wanna scroll past))

edit: also dont reblog cuz im fuckign tired as all shit and dlnt know how to type eloquently rn and Athena would be ashamed of me for this post lets be honest cjskdkskfk

okAY SO UHHH 2012 WAS LOWKEY A REALLY BIG IMPOTANT YEAR IN MY LIFE BECAUSE ITS WHEN MY NEPHEW WAS BORN, I STARTED FIGURING OUT I WASNt cis or neurotypical, started getting involved in fandomy stuff and the like.

(2009 was also kinda big for me cuz a lotta shit happened all at once and i started to kinda become more acquainted with the world and aware that bad things happened sometimes. this is lowkey important cuz yeah and probably 2002 too cuz i was 3 and starting to become aware of shit i guess idk)

aND LATELY IN THIS YEAR OF 2019 IVE BEEN SEEING A LOTTA SHIT BEING 7 YEARS OLD NOW LIKE THAT KEEPS POPPING UP LIKE A DUDE IVE BEEN FOLLOWING UPDATED HIS OLDEST DEMO FOR HIS MAJORAS MASK OPERA AND THAT WAS 7 YEARS OLD AND JUST 7 YEARS AGO KEEPS POPPING UP RIHJT

so liKE, WHAT If its a sign that this is gonna be a big year too, following the 2 and 9 pattern i established earlier. anD AND the important thing about all this shit being SEVEN years old which is the difference between 9 and 7 is also important.

so i looked up pagan deities associated with the number 7 and Athena/Minerva came up anD THATS SUPER FUCKING NUTS CUZ WHEN I WAS JUST STARTING TO KINDA THINK ANOUT BEING PAGAN LIKE MY JUNIPR YEAR I PRAYED TO ANYTHING THAT WOULD LOSTEN TO HELP ME NOT FAIL MY MATH CLASS EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT LEARN SHIT THE ENTIRE YEAR AND I PASSED THE FINAL WITH A B WHICH WAS BARELT ENOUGH TO PASS THE XLASS RIGHT

and Athena is a goddess of wisdom and educafion and stuff !!!!!!!!!

anD SO FUCKEN UHHH my aunt assocaites me with owls, i found an owl mug at the thrift store and I always perk up when i hesr an owl hooing even though ive never actually in real life seen an owl. and owls are assocaited with Athena too likefjdkdkskds.

TL;DR not sleeping is the key to enlightenment and i dont know how to put in a read more thingy on mobile

[ao-anonymousobsesser]

So I'm writing a VLD fic

@comfortably-chaotic-mind I'm tagging you bc you know this fic and I'm sure you'll want to hear this lol plus this is kind of a funny story...sorry for the long post though

Everybody else, I'm very very very sorry you have to put up with this but I'm really upset about this right now so I gotta get this out

Basically, Keith's dad was super close with the latest Admiral of the Galaxy Garrison. Like I'm not sure what happened with them (maybe graduated together?? or the admiral taught him some life lesson??? idk) but Kogane trusts Dos Santos with his LIFE okay

And he basically says that Dos Santos is Keith's godfather in his will

So when Kogane dies...Dos Santos shows up and is like bitch u ain't takin this boi to the home

So Keith becomes like the housecat-ghostboy-orphan of the Galaxy Garrison. He likes sitting with the old people, climbing in the rafters, and sneaking around to scare the shot out of the cadets.

He's also an avid reader. (A personal headcanon of mine but blown up to a massive proportion.)

Like I mean this boy eats books for breakfast lunch and dinner. If he's awake, he's reading. He listens to audio books to fall asleep half the time (the other half of the time he's blasting Disturbed or FOB or something edgy like that).

This boy has read every book that could even VAGUELY be considered interesting.

Okay, let me just tell you:

The average school library has a ratio of between 10 and 20 books per student.

Let's say the Garrison has 5000 students (just larger than West Points cadet count) and their ratio is small at 10. That's 50000 books in the library.

Probably 10000 are extra copies or second/third/twelfth editions of the same books (going by the ratio of 1/5 that my school had). That's still 40000.

I'm gonna be nice and say that 500 are reference books, another 500 are random (small, informational or entertaining, don't fit a special category), 25000 are nonfiction, and 14000 are nonfiction.

Keith is almost 13 at this point in the story.

As an avid reader myself, I started reading at four. Keith started at five in the story.

I was six when I read my first 200pager. So was Keith.

So let's say he started on the smallest books in the Garrison at age 5. That's 500 in a year. About a book and a half a day.

Boom. Down to 35500 books in the library.

(As we all know, I hope, the library will rotate books, causing the number to fluctuate a bit. But let's say for the sake of math that it stays this way)

His dad already gets supplies from the Garrison (because he lives on Garrison property shhh it makes sense) so he starts asking for more books because Keith is just eating them up.

So the countdown to 15000 starts.

This is where I should explain that I literally lived down the road from a small town library until I was ten years old. I know what it's like to have access to books. I went to the library with my uncle every saturday afternoon. The librarian knew my name and used to come to my soccer games when he could. He was my best friend.

I remember when I was about seven I started getting frustrated because I would go through all my books in the first few days of the week and then be out until Saturday. I started taking my bookbag with me. I made my uncle (in his teens) take one, too. We crammed anywhere from thirty to sixty books into those bags and carried more with us.

The only reason we got away with it (because there was a 20 book limit) was because we had six library cards between the three of us--i had mine and my mom's, my uncle had his, his best friends, and my grandma's, and the library dude was nice enough to lend us his if we needed it.

So yeah. On a good week, I got about seventy books. That's ten books a day.

(I should explain that I still went to school. I went to public school with plenty of kids who hated reading enough for all of us. I had teachers who either insisted I was some kind of genius--i wasnt--or banished me to the hallway for reading Jane Austen during reading time when they specifically said to pick something at the class reading level. I know this life. It's kinda sucky.)

So yeah. Ten books a day, seven days a week, for fifty-two weeks. I got through the entire small-town library (4000 books) in just over a year.

Yes, I even read the reference books. Yes, I had to ask for help with some of the more sophisticated books in the library. (Yes, I skipped a few of the research books. I was eight. Sue me.)

What I'm saying is that it is realistic for me to have Keith reading 5 or 6 thousand books a year for eight years, because in this story he has LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

His dad homeschools him without schooling him at all (unschooling, look it up on wikipedia--yes I know it probably doesn't work like that, but it's my AU and I do what I want). Then his dad dies when he's just over eight and he's alone in the house for a year. Just books to keep him company.

Then (after meeting Sam Holt) he starts trekking out to the Garrison, creeping around the halls and camping out in the library when he feels like it.

He makes friends with the campus librarian. Professors give him books for his birthday. At twelve, he got Sam and Dos Santos to help him build a room onto the old shack so his books weren't just lying wherever in the house. The room has twelve bookcases (three on each wall) each with five shelves (60 shelves total) and full of books (about 2000 books total, give or take).

He doesn't socialize a lot (he's still Keith) but it's not that he doesn't want to. It's just that he's awkward (he's still KEITH). If people would stick around for a while (more than ten minutes), he's actually really cool and funny, even if he's a little defensive/shorttempered/oblivious/clueless.

(Just because you're smart and read a lot doesn't mean you understand everything. Just because you know how to make jokes doesn't mean you always catch them or that you understand idioms or innuendos or anything that isn't straight talk.)

His jokes are literature based. He uses sarcasm a lot even though half the time it comes out wrong. He identifies with both Darcy and Elizabeth on a spiritual level.

He has a room at Dos Santos' that has a bookcase full of composition notebooks, themselves full of notes on all the books he's read, little doodles of scenes he really likes, and jokey little summaries of long reference passages.

He's a nerd who never had to learn how to socialize with real people. He LIKES people. He's not a robot, and he doesn't automatically hate you on sight.

He's just been through a lot in his life, and he's still just a lonely little kid.

Anyway. Keith reads about twenty fiction/short books some days, four longer reference/textbook books other days. It varies. It took him six hours to get through Under the Dome, and there was one time he read eleven aeronautics manuals in eight hours and then passed out for fourteen, but mostly he takes longer for reference books/textbooks than fiction books/memoirs.

Also he's read the dictionary/thesaurus like forty times by the time he's thirteen and he shows ZERO sign of stopping. It's basically a religion at this point.

So let me break this down again:

Garrison library has 50,000 books. Minus 10,000 because they're copies/lame editions. That's 40,000 books.

1000 are reference books or random (small, informational or entertaining, don't fit a special category) books, 25000 are nonfiction/memoir/diagram based/school or lesson based, and 14000 are nonfiction.

Keith starts reading at five. His first five hundred are done when he's six--he starts on the next five hundred and finishes within months. His dad starts asking for larger shipments.

By the time Keith is seven, he's read 2000 books.

We're down to 38,000 books in the Garrison library.

Between seven and eight, he reads another 3000. Down to 35,000 books in the Garrison library.

A couple months later (500 books down, 34,500 to go) his dad dies. He's alone in the house for 10 months, only books to keep him company.

He reads another 4,000 books in this time. By the time he turns nine, he's reading at a high school level. 30,500 to go.

Sam visit on his ninth birthday. He brings more books, invites him to visit the Garrison sometime. The librarian could use some company.

Keith does.

By the time he's ten, he's read another 6,500 books. It's a really good year. 24,000 to go.

Age 10-11: 6,000 books. 18,000 to go.

Age 11-12: 5,750 books.12,250 to go

He's turning 13 in a few weeks. This year he has so far read 5,375 books. He wants to hit 5500 again. For the five year anniversary.

It's not a good year. He's not feeling great. He starts talking to Matt more than he used to. Matt pushes him a little. He says he can do it. Keith believes him. He's never lied to him before.

(That Keith knows of. What goes to his benefit is unnecessary knowledge for him.)

He hits 5,500. 6,750 to go.

This is where I am now.

Now by all accounts, there are a few notes I should make.

There is a portion of books at Keith's home that he has not read. They are books the librarian gave him because she knew he hadn't read them before they were getting rotated out for a new shipment. This is probably 500 books.

That makes the total 7,250.

Less than ten thousand.

He has read 33,250 books in eight years (ages 5 to 13). Average: 4156.25 books per year, 11.3 books per day.

I'm almost twenty and I read 55,383 books between the ages of 4 and 18 (between the first book I read at home and the last book I read before my graduation ceremony). Average: 3955.93~ books per year, 10.8 books per day.

I didn't have a lot of friends. I was bffs with every librarian I met/had. In 10th grade world history we had to give one cool/weird fact in an introductory assignment and I told them I had read every book in the school library. No one believed me. I told them I could prove it. She said go ahead.

"I have read every book in the school library. The librarian can vouch for me. They have not rotated their books since I was in eighth grade. My grandmother works here, so I know. There are exactly 17,488 books in the library, not including extra copies or "editions" like all they did was change two sentences in the intro that's hardly new information. But whatever. I started reading that year. I made a list of every book i read that year. There were 3272. That's 14216 to go--all of which were in the fiction and nonfiction sections. My grandmother checked them out. If you go into her records from that year and take that list and add it to my list from last year in 9th grade, you'll see that I read every single book. I started with the reference section that year and then went to the manga, then the nonfiction, then the historical fiction, then the fantasy fiction. I had already read most of the books in the fiction section. 6,791 out of 7,918 to be exact. That's 7425 to go. I'd also read 3577 if the 6298 nonfiction books. That's 3848 to go. Over the course of the last school year, which lasted exactly 42 weeks, I checked out 30 books every Monday and 50 books every Thursday. That's eighty books every week. Times 42, that's 3360. 488 left. I hung out with my grandmother while she worked over the summer. I kept my reading up, only for the first half. By the end of July--the 29th--I had read the rest. That's nine books a day every day. Don't believe me? Ask the librarian."

So the teacher did.

She put the librarian on speakerphone.

The librarian went on a full ten minute rant about how ridiculously difficult it was checking out fifty books at a time.

My history teacher wouldn't come within 2ft of my desk until after holiday break, and she didn't go into the library at all that year.

Moral of the story: IT IS TOTALLY LOGICAL/ACCEPTABLE THAT I HAVE KEITH READING OVER 30,000 BOOKS IN EIGHT YEARS IN THIS FIC OKAY PLEASE DON'T COME AT ME OVER THIS

[homestucky]

i know ive posted abt it before so sorry for being a broken record but like........... my focus these days is so bad, and i say these days like i can ever remember it being good...... if i try to pay attention to something for more than 1 whole minute my brain starts shrieking and blowing steam like an old timey kettle. ive spent the past 4 days ‘flat out’ working on this paper but the pace is still somehow so slow bcaus i cant even flippign. read the papers im meant to be writing about. like i will pull an all nighter for this and then write 1 page. i just feel like.... this must mean something, right?? or is this just what im like?? am i stupid?? idk what this means. maybe im just tired or not cut out for this. ive been toying with the idea of talking to my doctor about the idea of me having adhd bcaus i think itd explain a lot but there are also considerable parts of how ive heard it described that i dont relate to. and the idea of deciding i think i have it then going and getting told i dont is kind of the worst. it would be so comofrting to have some way for me to describe the experiences im having and be told hey theres a reason your brain is like this. so i almost dont wanna know if i dont, yknow.

also in the uk at least, im p sure a diagnosis condition is you have to have some indication that youve had it since childhood. so i assumed that cant be me, bcaus i was a fairly quiet kid. i did have a really bad temper but other than that i dont remember p much anything abt being under 11. but i literally just today remembered that at the ages 12-16 in maths i never shut the hell up to the point that people who sat next to me thought i was annoying, because i couldnt concentrate in class at all, literally never once finished a set of questions in class even when everyone else could and i was supposed to be ‘good at maths’, just talked talked talked and doodled instead. ive always been a ‘slow worker’ is how i thought of it. i didnt barely do a single bit of work in art classes bcaus id just talk w my friend and like. spin in the teachers spinny chair. i did no work all of yr 11 then realised and went every day for like a month after school when no one was there. but still in class i couldnt do it, even once id decided i should work harder. i have a hard time processing things fast. despite teachers basically telling me i was some kind of prodigy for english lit, when it got to the point in like yr 12 when i couldnt rely on just writing whatever came into my head to get a good grade and actually had to plan, i absolutely flopped and practically developed a phobia of the subject. i was gonna do an english degree but i changed course. also i cant read for fun bcaus i just stare into space instead thinking about 100 other things all more interesting than the book. this has always sort of been the case too. idk i know many stereotypes of adhd are inaccurate but i was shy and ‘well behaved’ and even though i was distracted/chatty i wasnt like.. disruptive. like im not even sure if the teachers noticed me quietly babbling. so it made me never consider the possibility but obviously its far more complicated than that. 

still tho, idk i think its p likely im just making excuses for myself with this and i can easily imagine going to the doctor and talking through all this and them being like lol no nice try though. but idk. i still cant help but think about it.

idk this txtpost is p much nonsense but.. yea just attempting to get my thoughts out of my head and fling them into the void so i can carry on doing this awful stupid piece of work lol. wish me luck, im in hell!!!

edit: WHY WASNT THIS UNDER A READ MORE I REMEMBER PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE SCREEAAM

[froggy-s-thought-s]

#8 - 4/13/2021

hola.. today was.. okay i guess? I woke up, went to home room + language i didnt fall asleep this time, didnt do much- went to history one of the questions confused me and i feel like i messed it up? i dont really know seeing as i didnt know what i was meant to do?

I ate a large slice of bread for lunch, went to math, didnt do much math, went to science didnt do much science but thats mostly because i didn't print out the right sheets of paper and i didnt feel like printing out the right thing so i just did the math for the people in my breakout room because i've always been good at specifically that single math thing. then uh i made a meal!

the meal was ramen and tea; it was chicken ramen i put a bunch of soy sauce into it and some siracha but i couldnt taste it because i didnt want it to be overly spicy and not flavorful? and then the tea was lemon and ginger i think? and then i added more lemon and some honey and then i was annoyed because i wanted the tea to cool down more and i couldnt fit any more so i slurped a little bit of it and then i put milk in it with the full knowledge that it'd probably curd? and then it did?? and then i drank all of the curds cause one of my friends said i should and another said i shouldt!

the curds wasnt... great.... it was fine technically but defiantly could be worse???? it wasnt very pleasant though i would not recommend.

then i watched The Night at the Museum: The battle at the Smithsonian which wasnt the version i watched but oh well, it was still enjoyable!! I'm planning on watching some other movies cause im bored and dont want to do work so yknow; distraction!

anyway thats all i've done today, if anything else happens i'll edit this- like if i watch another movie or something, otherwise i'll just... not edit this.... yeah anyway talk with yall later! hope you guys have a lovely rest of ur day!!