#edit: why does this have 300+ notes

[creature-of-pizza]

You think he yawns like the way people describe cat yawns?

[princeofheartsss]

probably the most accurate news headline I’ve ever read

Like hell yeah we’re going feral, give us the trailer paramount

Edit: why does this have over 300 notes how in the world did that happen

[mythicalartistx]

I know now without a doubt Kingdom Hearts is L—

No actually I think Kingdom Hearts is honestly purposely censored.

I used to be like well I don't think it's inherently the translators faults, Japanese is a tough language for people to know what it's referring to and likes to Americanized certain things like adding heteronormativity and romanizing things. People like romanticizing thingz so I can't exactly blame them it's part of westerners.

Like when you think of relationships most think of straight relationships so that probably what they thought of it's probably about even though the relationship doesn't really develop that much.

A lot of Action movies have the same problem when there is a male main character, there is always a forced romance with some side girl character when it's not a developed or good relationship it's just there to mark of the love interest category.

But now realizing how much Kingdom Hearts censors things, maybe they had an idea.

Some lines are WAY off from the original made to romanticized so much when the original wasn't even anything remotely like that or about a character in that way. And some scenes take out movements and edit it.

They change the entire meaning to censor things for American Audiences.

Nobody knows why.

And all I can think of is to make it have things that American Audiences would rather enjoy having romance in places unnecessarily or censoring things to be "safe"

I made a post about the Dream Drop Distance scene which gotten a crazy amount of attention only on the first few days it's at 300+notes, but the post was essentially about how when Sora was sleeping he tells Donald and Goofy it's his job to keep him on his toes and he puts his arm down in a fist. Then Riku moved his arm slightly to the left and put it in a fist again?

But the scene actually had Riku telling Donald and Goofy how he slapped Sora awake whenever he fell asleep on the beach and it shows Riku moving his hand in a slapping motion, not whatever that awkward motion was.

The thing is DDD was one of the side games and I thought they didn't pay much attention to the censoring in those. And given how gay DDD is and it wasn't as censoring their dynamic.

However, it got censored and it's like why? Did they think Audiences couldn't handle it?

Like it just seems like a silly thing he would do. It's kinda like how some people would pour water on someone to wake them up.

Like a teasing thing which he does A LOT and it probably wasn't that hard.

And other times I heard about how the language had some swearing or words that could be translated that way but of course since it's Disney the western version had to censor that.

The novels and manga actually still have more language in it.

And I think the main problem is Disney. They censor things a lot now.

They used to be more open to this kind of thing, but now they are soft and never take risks. I also heard how their team would edit things that would be in their original movie to tone it down for KH players.

It's kinda sad because there is definitely a lot of meaning to KH that is lost in translation. The battle with Vanitas is one in particular I had realized it's meaning is a bit more than the western version. The western version also simplifies things and tries to condense aspects as well. Xehanort's reason for everything is also worded very differently in the western version.

One of the reasons I look at fan translations is because it gives more meaning to certain events, not only because of dynamics and possible ships that are lost, but also explanations that are no longer there.

I'm so grateful for everyone who tries to retranslate things accurately and sometimes I use a site for certain things I'm curious but by no means do I speak their language and I get translation is hard, I really hope their future installments don't do this especially with KH4 and ML coming up in the next several years.

[aaronsrpgs]

A Worksheet Manifesto (Rough Draft)

The Worksheet Manifesto is an attempt to explain why I'm moving my game design toward something I can print for free at the public library and give away. It's not a scold or a call to action; I buy full-color zines and hardcover books, and I support people charging for their work. This is a personal manifesto—an exercise in self-exploration.

The first reason I pursue this is ACCESS. I want people to be able to find and play my games. (Accessibility is maybe a better word for this, but I don't want it confused with the process through which something is made easier to use for people with disabilities.)

Some of the main barriers I've seen are financial (someone can't afford my games), technological (lack of computers and/or printers makes it more complicated to read my games), and international (shipping to someone outside the U.S. is prohibitively expensive).

Combining these three elements, I realized I wanted my games to be cheap or free. The common "community copies" solution on itch.io is much touted, and for good reason, but as I tried explaining the process to friends who weren't familiar with the site (or who flat-out aren't tech savvy), many responses were confused or frustrated. So I've set most of my games to pay-what-you-want with a suggested price.

Going from computer tech to printer tech, my most recent games were laid out in black and white, without ink-sucking textures (although some still have large spots of black in the art--something I continue to consider). Many American libraries offer limited free printing, and I always hope people will "utilize" the printers at their jobs or schools. I want people to be able to easily print out my games and share them at the table or pass them to friends.

And more selfishly, I hate dealing with fulfillment and shipping. It's stressful for me, it requires money up front to print things, and I'm bad at it, which means shipments go out slow, or not at all if someone lives outside of the U.S. Creating a file that's easy to print hopefully encourages people to create their own copies.

These cheap print copies also hopefully contribute to a feeling of DISPOSABILITY. I grew up with comic books, magazines, newspapers, and mass market paperbacks, and I think these cheap, short slabs of culture helped them feel like someone could engage with them without having to be fancy or educated or in the know. (A lot of us gatekeep ourselves!)

Prices for RPGs, like so many nerd collectibles, have steadily risen at least since the start of the pandemic. Crowdfunders often capitalize on FOMO, encouraging people to go all in on deluxe hardcovers with fabric bookmarks or whatever. And if my experience working at a used game store is anything to go by, lots of those fancy editions go right onto the bookshelf, unread. Don't want to break the spine or get fingerprints on it!

And I guess I'm just against consumerism? If someone wants a nice thing, I hope they get it, but a culture of games as luxury items and status symbols is not something I'm interested in.

So if someone has a game of mine and they don't want it anymore, I hope they pass it on, put it in a little free library, or recycle it.

And those dirty little printouts of my games? I want people to touch them and write them. I want TACTILITY. This is partially a usability issue: 300-page hardcovers are hard to find information in, and they're heavy if you have to lug them to a friend's house.

So I try to design games where everything a player (including the GM) needs is on, at most, three sheets of paper. I want them to be able to spread a couple pages out and take in the shape of the game they're about to play. I want them to circle things and make notes in the margins. Moving a pencil around does wild things to your brain, the same way that picking at a guitar or molding clay does. It focuses attention in interesting ways.

And in the end, you hopefully have a personalized article of play. And if you spill beer on it, no one's worried about replacing that $50 hardcover.

Speaking of beer, I want my games to be available to and contribute to COMMUNITY. As the pandemic started, I retreated into lots of online spaces, and those were absolutely vital to my survival. But I lost touch with lots of my friends and acquaintances in my city. I want to reconnect with them.

One of my favorite cartoonists, Mark Connery, is known for drawing little zines and just...leaving them all over. Coffee shops, art galleries, bathrooms. And when I think of him, I think of an artist responding directly to the places around him. Is it sad that some of this work is probably "lost" to all readers other than the person that happens across the zine? A little bit. But I think that comes from a bad part of my brain, the part that wants to own things.

I certainly don't want the entirety of my own work collected and widely distributed. Some of those things were specific responses to specific times that I've moved past. Some were bad! But I want to keep responding to my specific times and my specific place. I want to give things to friends (even if they just pass them on or recycle them). I want to give a game to someone at a zine fest and have them recognize my name from a zine they read in a coffee shop bathroom. And maybe they'll give me a zine in return.

My last hangup is MODULARITY. First, similar to tactility, I want to be able to give a player only the rules that matter to them. Character creation and basic rules? Here's a page. And once you're familiar with that and we've entered a downtime phase, here's a page with those options. You want to start a farm? Here's a page. I want it to feel like printing coloring pages for kids or ripping out my favorite magazine articles. These are the parts that matter. And if they stop mattering, you can get rid of them.

But I also want modularity on a system level. I want to add a subsystem to game as I think of it. I want to throw in an adventure pamphlet when it comes to me. I can keep them all in a little box, like a care package from my past self, and when it's time to run a game, I can dig around like a verminous animal and build my nest out of the best bits.

In CONCLUSION, I want to reiterate that this is a personal practice, and I'm not criticizing people who work differently. I used to work differently, and in the future, I'll probably work differently again.

This is simply the way I've identified what's important to me, set that up against the things that cause me to stumble, taken advantage of the privileges I have, and tried my best to bring that all together in a way that keeps me excited about my own work.

[f1rewalk3r]

okay so i was trying to do pact book club with my roommate b4 we had a falling out (unrelated) and i have cool Pact Motorcycle Analysis from rereading chapter one. (see below)

PMT “set [their bike] on the lawn, leaning against the inside of the fence.” leaning is the key word here. why are they leaning the bike on the fence? does it not have a kickstand? most street bikes have kickstands. the only ones that don’t are for extreme motorcross, not street legal, and built solely for dirt. So it would look something like this:

worth noting that this is a KTM 300 which is really nice and PMT's bike is "...about the shittiest, smallest, cheapest bike ever, and it’s used..." so assume much smaller and shittier then this one. But also, please note: No kick stand, and especially nothing that makes it street legal (plates, headlight, taillight, signals, mirrors) Okay, so what? Well, PMT then begins "...Unlocking and lifting the seat of the motorcycle, [to] retrieve the shirt [they] had stowed away..." These hardcore enduros, and even most sport, naked, and cruisers Do Not have under seat storage, especially locking under seat storage. The only thing that does? Scooters.

Eat your heart out, taylor hebert.

Brief Side Notes here: While our protaganist is referred to as Blake in this chapter, we can assume this is world-editing fuckery, given the snip doesn't happen until 4mo later with Molly's death. Also, we do see them mention a helmet. However, they are also wearing paint covered "...jeans, the lap striped with narrow streaks in various colors." This means that either PMT doesn't wear gear (squid status confirmed) or they wear armored jeans around regularly to the point of getting paint on them from the Toronto artists/dykes.

Later on in the chapter, though, the bike has been "Tipped over in a way that had scraped it hard against the stone wall. Headlight and taillight broken." So it does have lights, and is thus street legal. In conclusion: Given the text in this chapter, we can assume the PMT/Blake's bike is either 1) a plated, street-legal converted dirtbike with no kickstand (It is mentioned as leaning against the fence twice, proving "Leaning" is a deliberate choice) and the seat thing is a continuity error. or 2) the bike is a shitty scooter with no kickstand. or 3) the kickstand AND seat are both continuity errors and blake rides an older model cruiser (my personal HC given. Everything about PMT)

See the storage saddlebags BESIDES the seat, not below. So yeah. Either the bike is a magic fiction model macguffin that doesn't exist and just does whatever it needs for narrative purposes. OR (more likely) Wildbow just doesn't know how to write bikes.

Thanks for reading. Follow for more Pact Motorcycle Analysis.

[jame7t]

Can I ask if you use OBS for streaming? And also any tips for an aspiring streamy girl? *looks at you with the wettest eyes*

I do use OBS ! If youre not really familiar with it, its totally worth looking up some simple tutorials for. Once you can get a grasp on the program in general, its super modular and fun to mess around with. I think my biggest pieces of advice for streaming are like. 1: IGNORE those numbers queen. It can be super easy to see streamers with anywhere from 29-100 viewers and feel sucks about an average of like. 1-4. but literally anyone who uses twitch- or any platform- has to start there unless you're already situated on a different platform!

These are my average viewers from 2020- its taken me a long time to do anything on twitch, but its been a hell of a lot of fun, and its let me meet some of my best friends in the world because of it! Streaming is a great way to meet people, which brings me to point 2: Absolutely be careful who you meet! I've met a lot of really great people on the site- but as much as small streamers gotta stick together, there's some real stinkers out there who only want to 'network' with you. I won't pretend im BFFs with everyone I interact with on the platform- we're like neighbors <3- but I can confidently say I've never spoken to someone with intentions of clout chasing. The internet's the internet- stay safe out there lmao Ironically this becomes less of a problem the more you stream, you kinda learn to spot it, but back when I was at around 300 followers I absolutely had some incidents where people were playing some real booboo games to try get closer to me. Lots of streamers have promo channels in their respective discords- places you can link your stream when you're going live- just make sure you're an active-ish member of the community if you plan on doing that! Chatters are way more likely to stop by if they recognize you- and its pretty rude to be completely silent in 45 discords unless you're going live- 3: have fun!! Twitch is still just a hobby for me- its admittedly helped me out of a few rougher financial months at random points in the last few years- but im still very far away from making it my full time job in any capacity. Pace yourself- play games with your friends- and have fun! Worrying about growth and money is a pointless endeavor- because twitch will not help you grow! 4: Use Other Platforms: (as well, i mean) There's a lot of youtube videos and tutorials debating the best streaming site- "ahh heres why i left twitch forever vs aahhh heres why im leaving youtube forever" but it boils down to Sites Is Sucks ALWAYS. Forever. If you want to grow on twitch- or any site- make sure you're posting about your streams elsewhere too! Not JUST stream promo posts, but highlights and clips as well! If you can get some sort of editing software, subtitling them expands their reach a TON across the board, though it does take more time to subtitle them. People wont know what youre doing unless you tell them! Now, this does mean you might have to download the dreaded tiktok- I can't speak for the quality of that site in terms of getting people to watch streams; but twitch itself has sent me emails in the past recommending I post clips to tiktok. Plenty of streamers do it- use your best judgement, and what sites you think you can adapt to! Tiktok honestly might be better for getting your clips out there without a preexisting audience- when I first started streaming, I had 6000 followers on tumblr and my promo posts regularly got 1-4 notes- Nothing against those 6000; a promo post is tragically similar to an ad! Of course they wouldnt click it. They dont know how sweet and awesome and silly i am and how my friends mash me with hammers. Theyd want to see that. [The Promo Posts Were Also MID] Some of these things might sound weirdly specific or erratic but its 1 AM and im just recounting some random knowledge ive gained- none of this is a science of course, people might swear the opposite for some of these things. But! Have Fun

[twistedclaws]

Hello! Sorry if this is weird to ask, you're the only artist I follow that regularly does adopts, so I thought you'd have some advice. I'm thinking about getting into selling adoptables, and was wondering if you had any tips for like, getting the word out there? Or just in general, really.

To be completely honest with you, I got into adoptables by complete accident and my success had been largely generated through luck. My first Warrior Cats "set" was priced at $35 and sold on Deviantart (and can still be seen here). Before that, however, I still had a relatively decent following - before I got heavily into WC I tried and failed to start up a "closed species" (not for lack of interest, I just don't enjoy the process of making and editing "bases"). So I guess some trial and error was involved, too.

As for actionable advice, start on building a loyal audience first. Advertising adoptable designs through normal channels (twitter, da, tumblr, etc.) is difficult, so it's almost easier to make art without going straight to monetizing it. It was months after my WC designs got traction that I considered a Patreon, for example, because at that point the demand was in such a way that it was starting to get stressful managing it all.

Another thing is try to make something that sets your adopts apart. I can't think of anyone who wrote "stories"/design notes for their designs before I started doing it (at least when WC is involved - that was more of a 'thing' in closed species and something I was inspired by trying to set myself apart). In my case, my audience was receptive to the elaborate nature of the unique lineart/design notes/story/etc. enough to pay anywhere between ~$150-300+.

Algorithms are all luck nowadays. Good luck trying to make sense of them in a way that will make your art accessible to others - nowadays, I don't even try. Which is why I suggested focusing on your art and who you want to target first.

Adopt making isn't for everyone. I basically took a break for the entire year in 2023 because I was burnt out so badly trying to maintain a strict monthly schedule. Take care of yourself first and use adopts to explore other avenues, don't try to force it as an end goal. Anyone who tells you otherwise is not giving you reasonable expectations.

[jinstronaut]

2023 gifmaker / cc wrapped!

i was tagged by angels @cordiallyfuturedwight and @raplinenthusiasts to choose my top 10 out of my own creations this year, i have linked to my choices below!

idk if this is cheating but uh can i just link my whole jin a day series bc that's over 300 gifsets to go thru and i'm proud of them all :')

IF I HAD TO CHOOSE SOME THO..... i'm gonna choose day 365 aka one year of jin a way while he is away !!!!! we get him back so soon !!!!!!!!

i also rly liked this one of all the jin tags + we miss you edition teeheehee i love him and i love everyone else who loves him and i cry softly

also this collection of the jin's monthly messages makes me so soft bc he rly did give us something to look forward to every month i cannot believe how sweet he is

this namjoon bday set rly tickled my brain in the right way like those earth tones????? sooo satisfiying. and it was unintentional !!! wowee!!!

melon jin bc 1) hes iconic and 2) i had SO MANY PEOPLE request this set so when i made it i felt like i fulfilled a seokjin prophecy u kno

pouty jin bc i don't need a reason look @ his face

abyss jin is slept on i'm not sorry look @ him look @ this coloring like i snapped here truly

this pink kissy jinnie is the cutiest thing in the world thank u !!!!!

i have to put the bts anniversary set bc 10 years is such a milestone :')))))

bonus bc why does day 69 have so little notes do u not appreciate HUMOR on this website smh

idk who has already been tagged so i'm sorry for repeats but !!!! i tag @taee, @jiniekook, @sevencoloredstar, @taetheists and anyone else who would like to and hasn't been tagged!!!!

[derekcasey]

Do you love Life with Derek?

Do you want to see more of these characters?

We have a real chance at more of Derek and Casey’s shenanigans.

And we may even get to see Lizzie, Edwin, and Marti this time around!

What can you do?

Step 1:

Film a short video of yourself (MAX 45 seconds)

Some ideas of what to say in your video:

- Why do you love Life with Derek?

- What does Life with Derek Mean to you?

- Is there anything you are looking forward to if a series is picked up?

Step 2:

Email your video to us by 03/18/23 at 11:59pm EST.

derekscasey@gmail.com

Step 3:

On March 25th, 2023 (The 14th anniversary of the Life with Derek Finale),

TWEET YOUR SUPPORT! Tweet a link of the video, with the #LifewithLuca hashtag to the cast and crew to show how much we want this series!

*You can personalize this any way you want*

NOTE: You don’t have to wait until March 25th to show your support for the show, feel free to tweet any time you want about your desire for the show to be ordered. But the video will be released March 25th, which is what we want to include in our tweets that day.

Rules:

45 Seconds MAX length

Keep it PG

HAVE FUN!

Submit by 03/18/23

No fan edits (WE LOVE FAN EDITS!! But this video will not be showcasing them. If you would like to make a fan edit to show support, let us know you want it included and we will make a playlist and include it in the description of the video)

No background music

Disclaimer:

Some videos may be cut down for time or efficiency.

EDIT: If you would like to participate in the project but are camera shy we have options for you!! 

You can do one of three things:

Fanvid: As stated above, we will place a playlist in the final video description with all fanvids that want to be a part of this.

Short message: You can write up a 300 character message with what you want to say to show your support and we will put it at the end of the video!

Name Credit: If you don’t want to write a message, but still want to show you support, we will add your name to the credits at the end of the video!

[lunar-wandering]

hello this is the reposession agency /j so! about those lego ocs I am really sorry the original response was meant to be something along the lines of 'yes, give them to me in alphabetical order', hence the [hj] BUT I thought it was kinda stupid so I edited it and FORGOR TO DELETE THE TONE TAG AND WELL- how a-a-a-awkward can I be-

anyway- If you ever feel like writing about them in detail, or just the general basics, know that you'll have at least one person interested in reading all that (me)

i love legos, i love ocs It's a win-win for me

thatisallhaveanicedayslashevening

was holding off on answering this cause i wanted to gather like. art of all of them. and then i got tired of that so we're just answering this without art additions but just know they DO exist for some of them.

note, some of these OC's have AU's where they're not LMK OC's but yknow. i like em as LMK OC's.

anways lets goooo (i'm most likely forgetting some. don't worry about it).

Qiu Shi; he/him, pink monkey demon, sound based powers/sonic scream, decided that Wukong was his younger brother immediately upon seeing him (when Wukong jumped through a waterfall). using Wukong's circlet (placed around his neck) to prevent his sonic scream from activating on accident, was trapped under a tree for 200 - 300 years

Lei Mu; he/him, purple monkey demon, plant based powers, has a blue rose instead of a heart, was promised his heart back if he defeated Qiu Shi (he's the one who trapped him under a tree), can't remember anything from before he met his toxic ex girlfriend, TRAUMA.

Li Miao; he/they, purple monkey demon 2, light based powers, is Lei Mu's twin brother, a really good cook, is cursed to only be able to tell the truth (he has a potion that cancels out the effects, so nobody knows about it, but if he sleeps the potion wears off and he has to take it again), and worked as a thief for a period of time

Ju Wu; she/her, another monkey demon (i have a lot y'all should buckle up at this point), electricity based powers, was trapped in a video game for an extended period of time and now occasionally will glitch out.

Kaixue; he/him, blue and gold monkey demon, the Macaque Spirit King, wears golden ribbons that are semi-sentient and move based on his emotions/commands and their own free will. has some ice/wind based powers. gave away three of his emotions in order to save his kingdom.

Kiao; he/him, monkey demon, smoke based powers, he's Kaixue's doppelganger and he's really upset about it. he was chained up in a cave for an extended period of time, for Some Reason??

Monsoon; they/them, monkey demon, Qiu Shi's biological younger brother, mute, is an assassin.

Buttercup; he/him, honestly why am i even clarifying monkey demon at this point, has healing powers- but it works in that he takes the injuries onto himself. he's very mean btw

okay lets head over into the ocxcanon territory (honestly Buttercup might get moved here at some point) (also this is separated from the rest cause i know some people might wanna skip it);

Sel; she/he/they, selkie, hit their head on a boat, got lost, and ended up on Flower Fruit Mountain. can taste magic. shipped with both Wukong and Macaque.

Kechi; he/him, mer-monkey, full out does not know what a monkey is for a bit which is hysterical considering he is one, is just a silly guy tbh, lies a lot, shipped with Macaque

Shuiyue (and Qianlan); he/him, Shuiyue APPEARS human, he's not though, he was like. born from the moons reflection on the water. he frequently manipulates water to make it look like he has horns so people think he's a dragon though. he makes a deal with a water spirit named Qianlan, and they share a body. shipped with Wukong. (they have this whole villainous plan thing and the spell they need requires doing a couples dance with someone very powerful. so. he decides to woo Wukong. but then the both of them end up falling in love with him for Reals).

sitting here staring at the ceiling trying to remember if there's anyone else... there probably is but its like 1:17am lmao im sleepy

[summerwritesfics]

🎧Song Inspired Shorts - Kryptonite

Pairing: Gen Length: 1178 Words Rating: Mature Warnings: Canon Divergence, Prisoner, Overprotective Behaviour, Bad Ending, Chains, Kept Prisoner As An Act Of Protection, Choking, Threats Of Violence, Threats Of Force Feeding, Bi-Han wants to protect his brother but is just hurting him instead, NSFK (Not Safe For Kuai) Song: Kryptonite - Three Doors Down

Song Inspired Shorts Masterlist

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? If I'm alive and well, will you be there a holding my hand? I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might, Kryptonite

Notes: Okay so, you’re gonna see a lot of me over the next few days, I decided to try set aside this weekend to get as much of the backlog of fic I’ve accumulated out and I’m adding it into a queue here ^_^ Anything I don’t manage to push out this weekend will probably be pushed out next weekend instead :) Anyway honestly I’ve had this one sat complete for like… 2 years now 🫣 So it’s about time I edited and posted it lol. Poor Kuai Liang is once again not having a good time in this, not that Bi-Han is able to accept that :)

Bi-Han stormed through the halls, those in his ranks that he passed stepping away from him, seeming to get the message to leave him be. He’d been requested to attend to Kuai Liang again, although the messenger hadn’t divulged on what the issue was this time. He really didn’t have time for this, and he couldn’t tell if it was just his brother continuing to be difficult or incompetence on the part of the men he’d entrusted to look after Kuai.

As he reached the two guards in front of Kuai’s door, they both straightened their posture and held their fist in front of their hearts.

“At ease,” he commanded, and the two guards placed their hands behind their backs instead. “What is the problem this time?”

“We are sorry to disturb you Grandmaster, but…” The guards exchanged a look. “He is refusing to eat again.”

So it was Kuai Liang being difficult again. Of course it was. He rubbed his forehead with one hand. Why is Kuai still insisting on resisting me at every opportunity? He’d figured his rebellious spark had been contempt for the old Grandmaster, but given it seemed to be continuing with Bi-Han’s ascension, it was clearly something deeper.

“Have the kitchens make some Xiaolongbao,” Bi-Han said with a wave of his hand. Maybe he could coax his little brother into eating with his favourite food. “Until then, I will speak with him, see if I can get to the roots of his disobedience.”

“As you wish Grandmaster,” the one guard replied, before turning and walking off towards the kitchens. The remaining guard bowed to him, before reaching to unlock the door and opening it for him.

Bi-Han stepped inside the small room, and then he heard the door being shut behind him. Kuai was sitting at the table, staring at the wood and not looking up. The skin under the metal collar around his neck, keeping him chained to the wall, was looking extremely red and Bi-Han had no doubt it was the same for the skin under the cuffs on his wrists and ankles. Evidence he’d once more been trying to get them off.

It hurt Bi-Han to see Kuai injured, but he couldn’t risk not having him chained up anymore. Not since his last escape attempt.

By the Elder Gods, does Kuai Liang just not want to acknowledge I am doing all this for his own good?

His eyes landed on the wall behind Kuai, the tally on the wall had gotten larger since Bi-Han had last been in here. Kuai refused to elaborate on the tally, but Bi-Han wasn’t an idiot, he could tell it was Kuai keeping track of how long he’d been kept in the room. From a glance, Bi-Han estimated there were around 300 little lines carved into the stone. Has it really been that long? It’s been almost a year, how has he not stopped fighting this by now?

“Kuai Liang,” he growled in a low tone, frowning when Kuai flinched. “The guard’s said you are refusing to eat again.”

“You can’t keep doing this,” Kuai whispered so quietly Bi-Han almost missed it. “You can’t keep me locked in here like a prisoner.”

“You are not a prisoner,” Bi-Han spat. He despised that Kuai Liang thought so little of him. Once upon a time, Kuai had treated Bi-Han like he could do no wrong. So why had he changed his tune so suddenly? “I am keeping you safe Kuai Liang, I am doing this to help you!”

“This isn’t helping me,” Kuai argued, and if anyone other than his brother talked back to him like this he’d have broken their neck. “You’re just hurting me Bi-Han.”

“I am not hurting you!” Bi-Han jerked forward, storming towards Kuai. His brother seemed to realise how much he’d fucked up, as he got up from his seat and stumbled backwards. As he hit the wall, Bi-Han reached to grab his throat. “You are really this ungrateful for everything I’ve done for you?” He snarled, fingers squeezing at Kuai’s throat. “If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead! Do you not get that! There is so much in the world that could hurt you. This is all for your own good.”

“Please,” Kuai croaked, hands reaching to hold Bi-Han’s wrist and pull it away from his throat. “Please let me out of here.”

“I can’t,” Bi-Han replied, fingers digging into Kuai’s neck. The collar moved to show just how raw and chafed the skin was underneath. “I can’t, do you know how many enemies I have now? How many are honourless scum who would hurt you to get to me?” Poor little brother’s face was turning red. How easily he was taken down was all the proof Bi-Han needed that this room was the best place for him. “You just won’t survive out there. So you need to stay here, where I can keep you safe.”

Bi-Han finally let go of Kuai’s throat, and he fell forward. Catching him before he could fall onto the floor, Bi-Han let his brother lean against him while he desperately tried to catch his breath. He held Kuai close as he gasped in his arms.

“See. You can’t look after yourself, you need me to take care of you.” He rubbed circles in Kuai’s back as the other man began sobbing into his shoulder. “Now, will you stop fighting me? Will you let big brother protect you?”

Kuai didn’t reply, just continued to cry.

There was a knock on the door, and Bi-Han turned around just in time to see the guard who had gone to the kitchens come in with some xiaolongbao. Bi-Han gestured for him to put it on the table. The guard did so, knowing better than to pass any judgement of what he was witnessing, before quickly making his exit.

Bi-Han pulled Kuai over to the table, sitting him back in the chair. Once convinced Kuai wouldn’t fall off, he moved to the other side of the table and took his own seat. He pushed the dish closer to Kuai.

“Eat, Dìdì, it’s your favourite,” he said gently. Kuai just stared at the food, he didn’t attempt to eat it. Bi-Han’s eyes narrowed as he more harshly said “Kuai Liang.” Kuai looked up at him, eyes wide. “Eat. Or I will make you.”

Kuai studied him for a few seconds, clearly trying to look for any signs that Bi-Han was bluffing. Bi-Han put both his hands on the table, slowly lifting himself up to stand, trying to seem as menacing as possible. Kuai quickly got the message, and reached for the chopsticks and shoving one of the dumplings into his mouth.

Bi-Han sat back down. Good, Kuai was finally starting to accept this. Of course, he had a feeling this wouldn’t be the end of Kuai’s rebellion. That was okay. Bi-Han could continue to guide Kuai for as long as it took for him to accept this was for the best.

Even if it took the rest of his life.

[zippverschluss]

ep 9 notes

haven't checked the tag yet, need to sort through / document my thoughts first.

i'm a bit... disappointed, i guess? but i think that's owed to my expectations. after a week of collective theorizing i was (not so) secretly hoping for a sauruman VS gandalf style face off and so what we got felt a bit... pedestrian?

so i guess the gardener did hurt him after all, just not the 'shears-in-your-body' kind of inury? i honestly thought he'd stick to stalking.

speaking of which, i'll be disappointed if it's really garden dude using nayeon and not the other way round. nayeon being skilled in black magic and just using / playing men left and right to reach her own various ends and satisfy her needs would have elevated the character immensely. feels a bit disrespectful tbh.

speaking of disrespect, i suspected as much, but still... how can they have the mother not know? like honestly? how can her asshole husband tell the woman his son just broke up with about the illness but not his wife? i reeeaaally want hj to hex him... like, make him step on a lego everyday of his life. or have shampoo get into his eyes. something like that.

back in ep. 3 when sy saw hj in the dress and just last episode, we focused on his right hand. same happend during the proposal scene in ep. 5 and yesterday in the hospital with nayeon. i guess that holds significance?

were sy and ny ever intimate with each other?

i liked how they filmed the nightmare hj had.

also, how ambigious jg still feels. though i'm leaning towards ally who hasn't realized yet that he missed his shot. (also, does jg know the mayor is dirty? the mayor is dirty, right? playing footsie with the haum ceo? is that why he poached sy? to take on the mayor? and if he doesn't know, doesn't that just really undercut his character?)

did garden dude hit sy with some magic to make him black out? did that magic bring back his past memories? i thought he remembered when he woke up in the hospital.

but then i really don't understand the artistic decision process behind the scene in front of the hospital. that scene made (makes) me think i must be mistaken? how can he remember loving / killing her 300 years ago and the first thing he asks about is the in house messenger? (yeah, i know, he wanted her to go back on her word...) but even if he wanted to not let on, where were the longing / pining / loving eyes from last episode? the whole thing just felt very bland and weird.

also, poor rowoon. they obvs. didn't find hospital pants long enoug for him.

also, pls. don't push sick / hospitalized people. you don't know what tubes / needles they have sticking in or out of them. drama writers, find other ways to initiate physical touch. (just as lazy as drunk alley dude in ep 2).

i cared about ma and go for the first time. that scene was funny. i don't appreciate that once again show insinuates that a man is needed to keep a home in order, but since ma is freshly divorced it is plausible. for a moment i thought he was gonna choke her out or pass out himself. lol

also, re the hug, 'what kind of man asks that beforehand?'. the kind that respects boundaries and gives you the chance to say no? uncool ma, uncool show.

i guess no tentative friendships at work, but passive-aggressiveness?

loved the fireworks and the traditional music. was my favourite part of the episode. that slapped. wished they would have kept that music for the romantic scene.

there's still the option that him wholeheartedly embracing his feelings for hj brought upon the past memories. in which case that must be one long-ass hug. still, i'd prefer that scenario over the hospital-dream one. embracing his feelings because he remembers cheapens it a bit imo. its prob. the latter though seeing how he asked his mom about past lives.

his parents' bickering is getting on my nerves.

this episode felt really disjointed. i understand the cuts / edits were to not reveal too much, but at this point i'm just really annoyed by it.

for that reason bridge scene didn't have the impact it prob. should have had since i wasn't really sure what was going on?

spell scene too short, dress not as strange / pretty. but loved the music. also, what spell did she use? seduction?

i liked the child actors surprisingly much. i liked it even more that already as a child she had shaman capabilities.

i know tall people fall in love too, but man those hugs looked uncomfortable.

there's many other thoughts in my head but lastly: i guess only him remembers the past out of the two of them. i don't like that. at all. after 8 episodes it finally felt like they were on somewhat even footing when it came to knowledge about magic, spells, curses.... having only him remember once again means he knows more and is the proactive one, whereas she is only reacting and being driven by him. (but, if only him remembers, how can we as an audience see the things that only she can know? being brought to the shaman as a child? her premunition of the bloody hand?)

on that note, i hope the next kiss is initiated by hj. would be nice to see her express her desires / feelings. 3 kisses in and it's always him planting one on her. reciprocity is hot!! gimme gimme gimme!

[qqueenofhades]

To your research paper anon: definitely use Zotero! It's very useful at every step of the way: downloading the pdf, putting in the notes and tags the section that's relevant and why you downloaded that paper that looks completely unrelated, and then of course the Zotero Word (or LibreOffice for that matter) connector that allow an automated handling of the bibliography once you're writing. For you Hilary: are you going to/expected to have time for research in your new job?

I used Zotero for my PhD and I can absolutely recommend it. It can be a little finicky to edit/figure out how to work at first, but making a bibliography by hand for a 300-page dissertation would probably have ended me on the spot. Plus, for people who are less conversant with citing/styling, it takes the guesswork out of wondering what your references should look like and just does that for you. It also serves as a convenient repository for you to keep all your research in one place and take down the information, rather than trying to scribble it on random bits of paper that will probably get lost. So yes, if you're writing an academic paper of any length, USE ZOTERO.

As for me: research is not one of the expected duties in my new job, at least right now, since it is more admin and policy. I have some pending publications that I am working on in my own time (I have to revise a journal article sometime over Thanksgiving break, which I have been procrastinating about even though I know Reviewer #2 wasn't a dick, aha), and will continue to participate in research-focused academia as much as I can. If things work out financially/time-wise, I am even hoping to go back to the UK next summer to attend the big academic conferences in my field, including the flagship one at my alma mater. And there are resources available at my new job to develop your career and change departments, which I will eventually be looking to do. Not at first, of course, but yes. I will probably do some adjuncting in my current department, since my boss has already mentioned that, and then work on sliding over into the history department. So we will see!

[mikelogan]

What is the best way to get noticed when I post my own posts? I use hashtags but it still doesn't work?

anon, i'm genuinely so sorry for how long this ended up. i just wanted to try and cover all my bases and share things that i wish i knew when i first started giffing!! as always, take my advice with a grain of salt because i can only speak for myself! 💙

so the fun thing about tumblr and gifmaking (or any kind of editing) specifically is that engagement is shit garbage. for real, take a peek at the like-to-reblog ratio on any decently popular gifset and 90% of the time it skews heavily toward likes, which, on tumblr, do absolutely nothing. this is why you'll see me periodically rant a little about how people have to reblog things they enjoy! no one's going to see the hard work someone spent on a gifset if all the average user does is give it a like and keep scrolling. quite honestly, i've had to work a lot to manage my own expectations when it comes to notes. i now consider anything with over 300-400 notes to have done well when Back In The Day, it used to be a lot closer to 1k. but you also have to know your audience. when i post a law & order set, i expect less than 30 notes. the good wife? less than 10. it really just depends on how active the fandom is.

secondly, it definitely depends on which hashtags you're using. your post will only show up in the tag of the first 20 hashtags you use, so those are the ones that count. i never go over 20 unless i'm just adding my own commentary about the set i'm posting. i can only speak for how i use tumblr myself, but i don't track "regular" tags. let's take Friends as an example (bc i'm still heartbroken over matthew perry). i don't track #friends -- it's virtually useless to me. i track edit tags instead: #friendsedit. check out those tags for whatever media you're posting and see who those blogs tag! i would recommend sorting by recent rather than top posts for that as well so you can see what's relevant now, not whenever the most popular sets were posted. what you'll most likely see are the following:

edit tags (#friendsedit, #ofmdedit, #rwrbedit, etc.)

source blogs, whether they're general source blogs for film or tv, specific forms of media (animation, period dramas), or specifically for that media (heartstoppercentral, ofmdaily, etc.)

other tumblr users: i'm not entirely sure when this started bc back when i regularly giffed (8-10 years ago), everyone just tracked their url tag and that was it. i started giffing again this past may and was very confused at first about all the tags on gifsets that were #user____ and similar. and a lot of the time, it's next to impossible to figure out who that person is, what their url is, unless you check the notes and see who's reblogged the post, tagged it as "tagged" or something similar, and go to their blog to check their description and see what their tracked tag is. that's why i highly recommend starting a directory and/or taglist if you're going to be posting a lot of your own creations. i wish i would have started doing so sooner, but i now have a massive google doc sorted by who wants to be tagged in what and what user tag is associated with which url. i have a terrible memory as well, so that definitely didn't help matters.

a note on tagging etiquette:

you should be following the blogs you're tagging. this is my personal opinion as well as what i believe to be a general "rule." i'm sure not every person cares whether or not the people tagging them are following them, but i think it's polite to do so. when someone tags you, they're both saying "hey, look at this cool thing i made!" and "would you maybe consider reblogging and boosting this?"

i don't know that it's exactly a mistake per se, but when i first started hopping on the train of tagging users as well as sourceblogs, i kind of just tagged whomever in whatever. now that i've established taglists of who wants to be tagged in what, i don't really worry about this much anymore. but i would say it's again good etiquette to check out what the person you're tagging posts themselves and reblogs. if i see someone posting a bunch in #thohhedit and i follow them, i'll probably start tagging them in my own hill house edits because i know they enjoy that media! again, this will vary from person to person as to how discerning they are about what they reblog. i have some of my hard no reblogs listed on my about page, but not everyone will do this.

tagging someone doesn't necessarily mean they'll reblog your post! i can almost 100% guarantee you that it's not personal as well. i don't reblog everything in my tag, either bc it's someone/something i don't know, don't like, or is listed in my "won't reblog" section. at the end of the day, tagging someone is a kind way to ask them to reblog your post. it's not a guarantee and you're not entitled to anything. it's their blog! also, some blogs queue their tagged posts rather than reblogging them right away, so you might not see them do it for a while, especially if they're tagged in a lot or have an extensive queue!

lastly, and in no way do i intend this to be mean or rude or condescending -- or at all negative -- but a lot of blogs prefer to reblog creations of a certain quality. if you've just started out, there might be a chance that your gifs or edits just. aren't the greatest right now. and that's okay!! everyone starts somewhere, and i mean that in the sincerest way possible. for reference, this is one of my first gifs ever:

i'm showing you this bc not only am i proud of how far i've come with gifmaking, but because literally you have to start at this level to go anywhere!! there are multiple ways i've gotten better (both over months and years), but i think the two most valuable have been resource/tutorial blogs and gifmaking networks. i joined LGBTQ Creators in early September and it was hands down the best decision i could have made for myself. not only do i now have a network of likeminded, extraordinarily talented individuals i can go to for inspiration, advice, etc., but i also have a ton of motivation to make new sets and continue improving my skills and try new techniques! so yeah, maybe there are some users you'll tag who might not want to reblog your gifs because the frame rate is too slow or the coloring is off, but please don't take it personally. is it the nicest feeling in the world? of course not. but compare that stelena gif to one of my more recent gifs:

anyway, i hope that at least some of my ridiculous rambling is helpful to you! if you have further questions, i'm so happy to help in any way i can whenever i can. obligatory thesis statement: notes don't determine your worth or the quality of what you've created. gif or edit because you enjoy it! (this is quite literally the only reason i've made and posted hundreds of gifsets of law & order and the good wife lmao) 💙

[lawful-evil-novelist]

15 Questions-OC Edition

Tagged again by @eli-writes-sometimes, and since I did Aydın, I figure I should also do Valentine, my other lead.

Are you named after anyone?

Oh, yes, actually, the first king of Tir’oloth, Valentinus, it was much more common when I was younger to be named after royalty, very in-vogue for dark elven nobles.

When was the last time you cried?

That’s not really your business, now is it?  I have cried in times of tragedy, but much like my Narcissa, I prefer to express such emotions privately.

Do you have kids?

Quite a few, shall I list them for you?  Andromeda, Cybele, Bartimaeus, Dionysus, Septimus, Vesper, Isidora, Renata…They’re all delights, I could go on. (Author’s Note: He has a lot of kids, he’s also 300)

Do you use sarcasm?

I am firmly of the opinion that if you don’t use sarcasm you have little skill with words, and even less with using them.

What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their reflexes, socially and physically.  Recognizing reflexes are the first step in determining someone’s weaknesses.

What's your eye color?

Well, the eye I still have is green.  My left eye used to be green, hence the moss agate replacement.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I’ll have you know Narcissa tells the best ghost stories.  There were nights when Andromeda and Cybele wouldn’t leave my side because their mother scared them so, and Vesper would be huddled right alongside them so certain he wasn’t scared.

Any special talents?

I would call my charms my greatest gift, and I’m sure my wives and husband would agree.  They put up with me, after all.

Where were you born?

Tir’oloth, one of the many elven kingdoms that has fallen to the Janurian Empire, for all that’s worth.  The region is now called the Alektian Webs.

What are your hobbies?

I have a fondness for card games, and chess, and I fence quite well though Ursa does often call me a peacock.  Savaş has lent a song to accompany my violin many a time as well.  He has quite the voice.

Have you any pets?

Gem dragons are exceptionally small dragons–only the size of a cat, see–with impressive psionic abilities.  Jupiter, here, is of the emerald variety, very clever creatures, not quite the level of their larger kin but very fascinating pets–and familiars.  They also make for wonderful pickpockets, when trained right.

What sports do you play/have played?

Nobles of my culture are not quite expected to play sports as much as train in combat arts.  I’ve fenced since I was a boy, and have quite the aim with a bow and dagger.

How tall are you?

Not so tall, but average for my kind,  I stand at five and a half feet.

Favorite subject in school?

I had a fondness for classes on enchantment and illusion magic during my schooling.

Dream job?

Why, I have it.  I find there is no greater calling for me than an expensive sword for hire.

And I’m gonna pass over tags to @thespacelizard because I love their characters

[billconrad]

Bill’s Guide to Book Marketing

    I am a self-published author and have attempted to market my books, but the results have been less than successful. So why read a book marketing guide by somebody like me? The principles I will describe still apply, and I have made many mistakes that you will know how to avoid. Remember, you learn more from failure than from success. Does that mean I have learned a lot in my life? Hmm.

    At this point, you have written a book, had it professionally edited, a professional cover designed, an ISBN, an Amazon AISN, it’s formatted for ebook and print on demand. It is for sale on Amazon, Kubo, Apple Play, Google reads, Smashwords, Barns, and Nobel. Wow, quite an accomplishment! The problem is that 200+ people a month also released their first book. (Plus, established books are re-released as “new.” So annoying!) Many new books belong to authors with multiple books, and their readers are eager to read more. YOUR GOAL is to convince people to click “buy it now,” and here are the basic book marketing steps (not necessarily in the proper order):

To get attention, you must attack this problem on several fronts. Let’s start with the most important one. YOU NEED AMAZON REVIEWS! LOTS OF THEM! The first part of the plan is to send a copy of your work to every friend you have. Then, two months later, pester them for a review. This initial foundation of positive reviews is critical to your success.

Put your book info on Goodreads and any other site hosting information about your work.

Get a disposable email account like Yahoo. Search for free book promotion sites and put your book there. They will need a bio, picture, ISBN, amazon link, AISN number, Kubo, Apple Play, Google Reads, Smashwords, and Barns Nobel link. Important tip. I have one file with all this information, including all the links. Note that these free sites will spam the email account you provide to death. Here are a few areas to check out:

Sneaky tip. Go to Barns and Nobel every week and load your book onto all their Nook readers. Perhaps write a five-star review… Perhaps one on each tablet… Perhaps if you are on vacation… Perhaps if you have friends or relatives in other cities…

Should you buy book reviews? I found one site (I will not provide the link because it looks shady) where you can buy Amazon reviews. $300 gets up to 10 (why not an exact number?) badly written reviews. Should you do this?

    I do not recommend buying reviews unless you use a professional review service ($1K) that Amazon will allow a “review transfer.” Also, Amazon will likely find and sue these shady sites. Then Amazon will ban all the authors. Or they could try to shake you down. “Hey, you paid us for a review. Now pay us $$, or we will tattle to Amazon!”

If you read and followed my previous blog, you have written at least 200 book reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. Consider posting these reviews to Barns and Nobel, and Kubo. Your new goal is to get more reviews, and there is a group of motivated people who will do a review exchange. Authors!

    How to find willing (desperate) authors? First, look for new books on Amazon with a few reviews. Then, comb through them to see if they have a website or some other external way (Facebook) of contacting the author. Email/message them and ask them to do a review exchange. This means you offer to buy their book/ebook on Amazon, read their book, and write a review on Amazon and Goodreads. The other (potential) author will look at your 200 reviews and feel they are getting a good deal.

    Is this ethical? Yes, because you are only doing a review exchange. No money is changing hands. Both people paid for the book and are writing an honest review. But, do not contact authors through Goodreads or Amazon because both sites monitor their internal communications for review exchanges.

Look for Facebook review exchange groups.

Keep a log of all your reviews. Keep in yearly contact with your old review exchange authors. That way, you can contact them again when you come out with a new book.

Develop a dedicated website for your work. On it will be your books, your extended biography, a way to contact you, sample pages of your book, updates, and your blog. Many great website hosting companies have great online free website building programs—for example, Godaddy.

    Of course, I chose not to use a free online website builder. Why? I am old school and wanted to make a site on my computer that I could endlessly edit offline. My other motivation was that if the hosting company did not work out (like upping their cost), I could move my = domain to any other web hosting company. Yes, I am a control freak.

    So, my quest began. My first stop was to buy a copy of the gold standard for website development, Microsoft Front Page. To my utter surprise, it is no longer supported. What the heck? Well, I still had the silver standard Corel website creator. Wow, it has become awful. So, I went through every program from Adobe, Google, and many others. Pure junk. (How do companies make their sites? I do not know.) Fortuitously, I found a free program called Rocketcake. It was easy to use, fast, and produced excellent results. The downside is the lack of power. (It did not support splashy features. Only basic website stuff.) But there was an exciting upside. It generates tiny webpages that display lightning fast.

    There was another benefit to Rocketcake that no other website builder had. It (accurately) showed how my website looked on mobile devices, and I could tweak the pages to look good on all platforms. Godaddy and other online-generated web pages look awful on small devices. Do people browse the web on their phones? Hmm. Perhaps there was some logic to my crazy decision.

    Then I needed a hosting company and found WHP. Incidentally, WHP is the least expensive, and their service is decent. Coincidence?

Get a Facebook personal account and then make a separate page for your author’s activities. Make it look professional by examining what other authors have made their page look like.

Generate buzz on popular social sites groups like Twitter and Instagram. How does this work? I do not know. Twitter and Instagram are not my scene, but I know there are promoting guides on these sites.

Send out free books/ebooks. Several sites let you post your work for free to generate buzz. KDP select allows you to do this, but in my case, fifteen people downloaded my book and… Nothing.

There are a few (odd) free sites. The deal is that if you post an Amazon review, you get to read more free books. The problem is that all reviews read “…good book… I posted this review to claim the free book on XXX site, and this review is of my own volition.” What the heck? Stay away from those sites. Amazon will eventually take down all those phony reviews and punish the author.

Hire a publicist. I have investigated several and failed to find a good one. Why? When you hire somebody, you need a measure of their success. “You are a housepainter? Can you give me the address of a recently painted house so I can look at it?” Makes sense. “You are a publicist. Can you show me a book that somebody paid you $100 to promote, and they got $1000 in sales? You can’t?” Hmm.

    I find publicists are glorified spammers. They take your $ and send out spam, Twitter spam, Instagram spam, text spam, website banners, or other spammy muck. There is no way they can directly show how our hard-earned $$ leads to reader interest or sales. Plus, spam angers potential customers.

    I read stories of miracle publicists on the Facebook group Writers Helping Writers. After inquiring with the author about them and contacting the publicist, I learned they were riding on the coattails of a successful book.

    Side note. There is a business here, but I have yet to crack the nut that will lead to successful promotion.

Start a blog on your website, Facebook, Goodreads, and any other site you can find. Keep your blog fresh, post at least once a week, and mention your book often. Your topics should be books, writing, life, and light topical subjects—no heavy stuff like politics.

Make a YouTube promotion video of your book. Or beg your famous YouTube friend who knows the trade. The problem is that ~10K videos come out weekly, making it hard to stand out.

There are Facebook groups for authors and books. For example, Writers Helping Writers. Post as often as you can, but don’t be a pest, and do not directly plug your book, or you will be booted off.

There are online reading groups. Tread lightly when you make your plug so they don’t kick you off.

Pay for an advertising campaign on Amazon to up your search ranking. Paying them seems counterintuitive. Amazon is supposed to do this for free because they are the retailer. If they promote new books and authors, they will sell more books.

    Alas, no. Amazon makes you fork over money to up your search rankings. I have not tried paying Amazon because I want 100 reviews first. Nobody will buy an unreviewed book, no matter how often it appears in searches.

Do an advertising campaign on Barns and Nobel or Kubo. They seem to be much better at promoting books.

Keep a record of all your advertising efforts for taxes and understanding what works and what does not.

Last but not least, write more books. The more you have, the more you can market on the same dime. It only takes one success! “Hey, I loved Bill’s book Interviewing Immortality. Why not read his other book, Pushed to the Edge of Success or Cable Ties.” See what I did there? I snuck in a plug. Plug, plug, plug! Everywhere you can! This is a numbers game!

    Unfortunately, that’s all I have about book promotion, and I feel your anger. “There have to be more options. When I search on ‘book promoting,’ I get a hundred hits.”

    Let’s explore what these sites offer. 90% do two things. First, they spam. Do you read spam? Do you want your brilliant book to be associated with that kind of “gray” marketing? Second, they “tweet to 10,000 followers.” How does this help you? Having 10,000 nobody’s Tweet to 10,000 nobody’s. Do these people even speak English? Are computers tweeting to computers? Where is the proof they did what they claim? A computer printout? An angry letter from Twitter telling them to stop spamming?

    When paying for advertising or promoting, understand the Return On Investment. This is the relationship for advertisement payments and your profit. All established marketing companies 100% understand this question, and 40% can competently answer it. If they cannot, you are wasting your money.

    You may find a website that offers to promote your book on their “heavily visited site.” When you pay, you will see your book on their front page. Here is the issue. The only place readers go to find out about what books to read is Goodreads or Smashwords. (Umm, perhaps Amazon.) They do not care about other sites. Those “heavily visited sites” only exist to extract money from authors. If you look, you will see they all look the same, and I suspect one company runs them.

    Many sites offer package deals. A combination of the Tweet/spam/put your book on their worthless site. Or they “manage” your Amazon advertising campaign. Or they “promote you on Google.” You can pay Google and Amazon directly to up your rank and do not need help.

    Side note. If you have a unique title like Interviewing Immortality (see, I plugged my book again), then it will usually pop up first. Having your book for sale on many sites greatly helps. For example, I pay nothing, and my book is the first hit when I google “Interviewing Immortality.” See, I plugged my book a third time. This is a numbers game!!

    I was Facebook messaged today by a guy who wanted to “up my brand awareness.” Here is his run-on sentence pitch:

    I will do a strategic awareness your brand on some high-score social media platforms to increase awareness of your brand, generate real, active, and organic traffic from any country of your choice (USA, UK, Germany, Spain), and so on targeting those who will be particularly interested in the genre of book of your book . You will also gain a wide range of other effective results through my work.

     “High-score social media platforms” = SPAM And the mathematically backed return on investment report is… Did you spot the extra space before the period?

    What about book bloggers? They certainly can promote your work. The problem is that they require $$ without guaranteeing they will even read your book. Plus, they are arrogant and will give you a rotten review even after you pay. If you read/watch one of their negative reviews, you will see their sense of pride as they tear a book apart. Study their online content first, and be careful!

    What about getting your book on a list of “100 outstanding books you have to read.” Hard to say, but it is worth investigating. Make sure you are not paying for this option. Your work should stand on its own.

    In 2021 somebody reached out to interview me on the radio! Of course, I was interested!!! Turns out… For only $60, they would turn my book cover into a 3D animation that loops on a YouTube video. The audio (read by a computer) was me answering (over email) six questions I asked myself.

    I searched YouTube and found several videos posted by the person who messaged me. She uploaded the first in 2015. Guess how many views it got by 2021? Two! This person’s most popular video (an odd religious rant in English and Italian) received eight views. (It was eight because I accidentally clicked on it twice.) The lesson is to be careful. Many people want to separate you from your cash.

    Wait, I know what you are thinking. “Bill probably does not know a thing about internet marketing because his sales are in the toilet.” Well, I am not bragging, but I do.

    The entire purpose of those patents was to define, clarify, justify, quantify, and improve one number. Return On Investment (ROI) And, if my boneheaded partner did not have a mental breakdown because he feared success, I would be a multi-billionaire. Yes, this is 100% true. Did I mention he was a BONEHEAD!!!!! I want to repeat it. John, you are a complete BONEHEAD!!!!! Hey blog readers, thanks for letting me vent.

    I know, not inspiring you. Book promoting is a tough road. More challenging than selling a product or service. I started this journey with the idea that I would instantly get popular (because I wrote a fantastic book), and the checks would roll in. I now understand how profound this fantasy was. Yet, things are not as bad as they seem. You now know the pitfalls, the questions to ask, where to market, and how much effort is required.

You’re the best -Bill

April 08, 2023

 Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

 Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

 Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

 Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

 These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.