#embarrassed myself enough i think
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
hey guys who wants another round of tmi
#ive been#this entire day has been a lot and i have no idea how to feel about it#i've never cried this much in an entire day and i can't stop myself from tearing up but it's not because of something sad or traumatic i'm#not used to being loved. or appreciated. or meant to feel like i belong anywhere. i've struggled with being excluded and ostracized and it#has been an uphill battle for a long time and deep down despite my many attempts to heal and get better i've always felt like something was#fundamentally wrong with me. it has been wrong with me from the start and whatever evidence to the contrary ive gotten was rationalised awa#by fluke or maybe people like me because of what i can provide and what i can do for them and not because of who i am and who i am will#always be tolerated or ignored at best and i genuinely was not expecting anyone but a few close friends to care about this and just. andjus#i think something in me is healing and it's still hard to accept but i can conceptualize it and any negative thought in my brain is being#countered by “hey why would you think that when people care about you” and i know it is obvious right. its something i should know but it#has always been so hard to believe that anyone would and the fact that it's hitting right now? i cant fucking stop crying#its almost fucking embarrassing im like this. im a grown ass adult. why the fuck am i still crying like this. i fucking hate trauma man#keeps making me feel like im that kid who was never loved in the ways that mattered. sorry im just#thankful. grateful. i feel like some parts of that gaping wound is stitching itself together and i cant stop crying and for once im not#crying because i'm being hurt. i'm just grateful to be here. genuinely fucking grateful that i'm alive#funny isnt it. how much love can save you if you let it#tmi#rant#embarrassed myself enough i think#sorry about that we'll go to our regularly scheduled ghoap program soon enough#i'll be okay
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Getting older is realizing bill cipher was sexier as a triangle anyway.
#i just think its really fun that with the surge of popularity i have not seen a singl circa 2014 sexy bill cipher#i think its a sign of this websites age#and that we learn from our mistakes#personally i think politicians should take a lesson from this#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#ford pines#id like to buy the book but my activity in the fandom in 2015 was questionable at best#no one else is embarrassed for me cause i do it enough for myself#ford wouldnt like a sexy young thing anyway the mans borderline a monster fucker#billford#my posts#text post
491 notes
·
View notes
Text
psst, hey, fellow selfshippers and lovers of fictional characters!! something i want to share and reassure folks on as a person who gets character crushes super easily: don't be embarrassed by whoever's making your brain light up 🥰💖 i see some lovely folks get really in their head about this. perhaps they've always crushed on a specific kind of character, so when they get one who's a little different, they feel like they can't talk about it. maybe they've touted themselves as having one crush and have been super dedicated that whole time, so feel like it's a betrayal somehow, or makes them less of whichever label (e.g., yume, selfshipper, etc.) they've identified with. i'm here to tell you that's all nonsense!! 💖 this is fandom. you're not an influencer and you don't need to keep up a specific 'brand'!! if you see a character who makes your heart all gushy, don't think up an imaginary critical audience who is going to yell at you for not fixating on the 'right' thing. life's too short to deny yourself happiness 🫂
#inspired by seeing too many of my dear friends posting anxiously about 'not showing their love enough' or falling for a new character 💖#i know i joke a lot of the time in a 'i'm so sorry for this one' or 'are you guys gonna throw tomatoes at me' kind of way#but seeing people be unabashed and excited about their fictional favourites - no matter how weird or obscure - is a joy!!!#so if you've been sitting and fretting because you can feel a crush building and don't know how to handle it:#just rush in head-first. don't think about how it will be perceived. your happiness is not clickbait 🔥#and you know - sometimes we like different characters because we want/need different things!!#i may tout myself as a villain/nerd enjoyer but that doesn't mean i'm only allowed to like those kinds of characters. same goes for you 😉#(going to try to hold true to this as there's a crush who'll get me in the next couple of months who WILL be embarrassing to admit)#(but who cares? isn't getting to yell about a character who makes our lives nicer a wonderful thing? 😭💖)#selfship#f/os#oc x canon#blorbos#yume#starleskatalks
198 notes
·
View notes
Text
I would so fucking love it if the cast of httyd could react to in universe moments on some massive magical stone or whatever. For example, imagine Berk’s reaction to their future chief standing in a pile of fish, pouting. Imagine said future chief’s reaction to their reaction. ‘Why are you stood in a pile of fish?’ ‘SHUT UP!!!’
#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup#hiccup haddock#toothless#I know this has been written before but I need more#please I want this man to be unbearably embarrassed#FUCKKK IMAGINE BERK REACTING TO THE FLIGHTSUIT TESTS#Oh imagine STOICK reacting to them#I think he might die on the spot#‘Haha look guys I’m gonna throw myself off the cliff to test an invention on a whim#with the only dragon nearby being one that can’t fly without me#isn’t that such a great sensible idea that I came up with when I have had enough sleep?’#Stoick what fucking menace have you raised#please teach this guy what self preservation means#like sit him down and define the concept to him.
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
Leo getting hit with a truth curse but instead of forcing him to admit to super sad or worrying things it’s things like “it was me who broke the remote” “I saw Mikey prank Donnie and helped hide it because it’s way funnier if he didn’t know who it was” “I rip my clothes to look more like Raph’s because he’s really cool” “my stripes aren’t even red they’re pink!”
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#plot twist he COULD be admitting angsty stuff but he’s pushing the less oof truths forward instead on purpose#raph: hey leo what do you want for dinner#leo: *about to bare his soul on all his internal torment but pivots* I’m afraid of snakes#(no but fr Leo’s stripes being technically more pink instead of red is cute ngl)#(a very reddish pink to the point that in certain lighting it looks red but at the base they’re p pink)#(i also am very fond of the idea that Leo doesn’t just have questionable taste in fashion he also just loves Raph a lot and looks up to him)#but yeah I think that something like this would be 99% Leo admitting to unimportant things or admitting to how much he values everyone#like they all KNOW Leo loves them and he’s talked them up enough for them to know but it’s different when he’s like#‘I just wanna read my comics with you guys around - it’s my favorite place to be’#or again just random bs that doesn’t REALLY have a lot of weight like#‘I like using my portals to prank random people around the world’#‘I’m worried about being a bad influence on hueso jr’#‘sometimes I kinda wanna see hypno’s plans succeed’#‘it’s been way too long since I found this out and honestly it’s embarrassing but I actually don’t have a di-‘#SORRY COULDNT HELP MYSELF#(<-but did u know that that pink rather than red observation actually ties into this headcanon as well if u know about red eared sliders)
712 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't know where this came from. Read a story on Ao3, got inspired and spewed this out. I've never written for Transformers before so don't know how accurate this is but I don't know what to do with this so thought what better place to share it than this hellscape of a website (/p).
Tropes(?): arranged marriage because I'm a sucker for that shit between enemies. MegOp (tfa universe), sort of canon compliant if you squint hard enough but it's kinda short so don't squint too hard or you'll hurt your eyes.
He rolled his shoulders and adjusted the magnetic clamps attaching the long, and unnecessary heavy, cloak to his body. A cloak that normally should have been white, by not just Autobot standards, but also Iaconian, and Optimus, having been forged and brought online in Iacon, lamented the fact that the cloak he now sported had to be purple. Apparently it was supposed to be symbolic.
~~~
The reflection of the mech looking back at him was almost too foreign for Optimus to be able recognise it as being himself. It was his blue helm, his rotating optics as they scanned over his ludicrous but traditional get up and his red chassis that was covered in finely painted purple lines and curls. Delicate and every turn and swirl deliberate as they traveled from the centre of his chassis, right above his spark chamber, up his shoulders and down his arms. The painter had tried to insist Optimus should pain his thighs as well, saying that the purple would contrast wonderfully against the silver metal and that it would hold intimate implications. Optimus had refused.
That made Optimus snort and when he brought his optics back up to his face, his faceplate was scrunched up in a frown.
He looked almost right. Cloak billowing behind him in an almost majestic kind of way, making him feel a little like the Primes of old when they weren't just a military title but one granted by Primus himself, and paint decorating his upper torso with the usual lines and curves. Even his faceplate had purple paint across the cheeks and down from his bottom lip to his chin. Optimus had to admit that he did look like someone who was about to partake in his very own Conjunx Ritus, almost.
If it wasn't for the purple.
In Iacon the two participants in the rite would be cloaked and painted in white. To symbolise the purity of their love for each other and their connection to Primus, or something or other like it. Optimus didn't actually know the details. He'd never been to a Conjunx Ritus before.
It wasn't just any shade of purple either, unfortunately. Because Optimus might have been able to handle a light lilac or a deep rasin. But the fact that the shade that now decorated his frame just so happened to be Decepticon purple just made his spark tighten and made it impossible to forget that his… his conjunx was…
Optimus shuddered as his processor couldn't even finish the sentence without making a chill travel throughout his frame. Filling up his inner lines with ice instead of energon and making his spark twinge painfully in his chassis.
A Conjunx Rite was supposed to be the happiest moment of a mech's life. The day they joined forever with the love of their life and promised to cherish and protect their partner, their conjunx, for as long as they lived. A moment that most bots only ever did the once and never did again because the pain of losing a conjunx was so hard on the spark that taking another one was like replacing a part of your very soul. Trading it in for a replacement to fill the hole they left behind. Something that wasn't necessarily frowned upon or illegal in any way, but that definitely would've gotten a few judgemental glances thrown your way.
Yet here Optimus stood in a preparation room in one of Iacon's Chapels, looking at himself in the threeway mirror and meeting his own hollow optics. There was no happiness there when he looked down and saw himself dressed in the infamous Decepticon color and feeling like he was about to walk out onto that altar and meet his own demise.
Because his—Optimus had to physically swallow to get the words his and conjunx to actually form in his processor—was none other than Megatron.
#transformers#transformers fanfiction#transformers animated#tfa#megop#optimus prime#megatron#tfa optimus prime#tfa megatron#tfa megop#//i don't know what to do with this but there is 15k more words to this that I did not share and it gets raunchy#like are they robots or rabbits kind of raunchy XD#but like damn I don't know enough about transformers lore I think to feel comfortable sharing this#or sharing more of this I guess?#might genuinely delete this later when I get my brain out of the gutter and decide not to embarrass myself online
122 notes
·
View notes
Note
Damn, now I kind of want to write a fic about someone on a team named the Selkies auctioning off her jersey for charity and getting an accidental wife because one of her ancestors was a real selkie and now fae bullshit means she's given away her "skin" (she's always felt most at home on the ice).
I would read a story about this - this presses all the right buttons as an idea please do this anon omg
I genuinely love that "fae bullshit" functions as a plot device pretty much anywhere you decide to work it in
#ask pile#if I knew enough about hockey I would sketch one up myself#but I think we'd both be embarrassed by that effort#oreo talks sports
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
2023 | 99
#(don't read the tags if you don't want to hear any fandom negativity whatsoever)#this is an old one i never planned on ever posting‚ but i'm currently rewatching seasons 4 and 5 and i'm retroactively so mad again#that i let one slightly antagonistic sounding post ruin the entire character for me and this is the best outlet i have for venting about it#(best as in most selfish since a drawing is more likely to catch people’s attention as opposed to a simple wall of text)#brilliant character design‚ an interesting personality that is so fun to play with in fan creations and a fascinating addition to the canon#both for the drama and its core themes#despite this as much as i tried to i just couldn't bring myself to like him#he just doesn't appeal to me in a fandom way#but neutral with a hint of appreciation for his canon role would have been a good enough opinion to leave it at#but nooo my oversensitive ass just had to see the one fucking post amongst millions of random less than 20 notes bsd posts#that happened to shame me for this exact thing (that i already felt guilty about mind you)#and i just had to take it sooo fucking personally#of course. what a reasonable fucking reaction to have to harmless little fandom chit-chat.#believe you me‚ no one wants me to be a sigma fan more than me#i fucking wish i could scrub seeing this post from my mind...#it's been over a year and i can still feel the rage boiling up just thinking about it#at least all that rage had turned inwards fairly quickly and i unblocked the poster and rebloggers soon after#but still... what a fucking embarrassing reaction to have...#every time i engage with the actual series i can feel that i still love it very deeply#i'm near tears at the end of episode 51#yet still i let stupid little things like that dampen my enjoyment of it#truly pathetic.
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
As annoying as Style can be, I find it interesting how he can also thoughtlessly kind.
He just started taking orders and helping at the restaurant while waiting to hit on Fadel some more without being asked and I don’t think it was with the thought that this would be something that would impress or soften Fadel to him.
He fixed up Fadel’s car beyond what he broke just because he saw it was something he could fix.
And in his interactions with Bison he seems to be just a genuinely sweet person.
It’ll be nice to watch him when I’m not having to pause after ever interaction because of second embarrassment.
#the heart killers#i have such a love hate with romantic comedies because I have such a low tolerance for second hand embarrassment#I have to pause every time I see it coming up that next scene is going of Style “flirting” and I need to steel myself#you’d think I’m watching a horror movie#The fact Fadel hasn’t stabbed Style half way through episode two was enough proof to me that he has to be in at lust with that man#There could be no other explanation#Mine
66 notes
·
View notes
Text
When I first got into Kirby, I didn't expect to like, actually get into it. I thought it'd be like any other hyperfixation I'd had up to that point, that it would go away within a few months and I'd never think about it again.
Given I was so deeply in denial, I didn't care about being fully accurate and had some stuff that was really goofy and/or underdeveloped and unexplained. Stuff I'd made up to just work for the limited time I would be there.
Still, I came up with a few headcanons that I got attached to, and when I started realizing this was here to stay, I still chose to be stubborn and had to work backwards to keep these stupid headcanons, but adapt them into something a bit more fitting and polished.
It led to some cool stuff, like for example, my orbs aren't very magical, this was something I had settled on early on. But after I got invested, I had to think about what that actually meant and the implications of it like, how can they do this without magic? And what about that? What about this canon thing, how do I explain it?
I found decent enough explanations for all of these. But as a result of my unserious beginnings and continued stubborness, now I get really embarrassed at the time to actually talk about my headcanons and the stuff I've come up with.
Because what do you mean your Galacta Knight is half-dragon?
#what am i. 12 years old. you're making him a fucking dragon? and he barely even Actually resembles one? cringe#so so cringe. everytime i think about how im going to have to reveal that eventually i get so embarrassed#i've been by myself on my lore for almost 2 years. as in i had no friends who were into it#so i was talking to myself and people who only learned kirby stuff from me#so i never fully realized just how cringe an outsider would find it until recently#but it always made sense To Me. with what I'd come up with and how I'd made it work#i fear people wouldn't think his story and the role his dragoness plays into it is enough to warrant it.#they'll think i just did it because i wanted to. and that Is the reason too. partly.#when i started i saw that bit of text about mk's wings not being real. that they were his cape and adult orbs don't have wings#and figured gk's wings and horns mustn't be real either if that was true. but that was weird so i wanted him to actually have them.#but i'd settled on this at the time already so how would i explain him being the exception?#my solution was to just. make him a hybrid. that'd solve it. I didn't know he was a dragon at the time though. so it doesn't#show in his design a whole lot. when you look at his dragon dad he does look a lot like him. but said dragon dad also does not look like#a dragon at all. not a scaley reptile typical one. so that's Another layer to my problem#my thoughts on orb wings and horns have since changed. theoretically I could totally make gk a normal orb now. but#i also decided that the only reason he Specifically can use magic it's because of this half-dragonness 😭#another show of him being the exception. he's always stood out as odd#so there's actually no going back. i'd also have to get rid of his fuzz and who'd want that#text post
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
thing one and dumbass two
#fengqing#is unfortunately who i was thinking of#why are they so stoopid#unfortunately the idea of a marriage-tied southern martial temple appeals to me greatly so i keep marching on the path of tomfoolery#tgcf#text post#my posts#heaven official's blessing#i thought it was heaven's official blessing for a VERY long time btw#like i read the book in like 2020/21 and i was corrected literally a month ago#embarrassing for my foolish mind#anyway im rereading mxtx books over the holidays#because theyre the only books of great length that will bring me joy and whimsy while interacting with my mother for a month#i also have crime and punishment on queue although i suppose its considerably less fun#i still need to read priory i will do it the time is nigh#and finish flv i have plans for something new but not until flv's finished i promised myself that#feng xin#mu qing#i hope they crash heads and die#its actually imperative that i finish tgcf i think i read it too fast before because i did not appreciate yin yu or quan yizhen enough#beefleaf of course remains iconic and toxic they stay winning. free sqx my girl was stressed of course they called the wrong name#have not forgive he xuan for not taking the infinitely more funny and angsty revenge of dating sqx and rubbing it in shi wudus face#tells the guy straight up hes black water and sqx thinks its shi wudus version of a joke when he tries to tell them#beefleaf#i only truly love ships with a friends/lovers to divorce arc to lovers its the only correct way to do enemies to lovers its about equality
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
// personal
how strange it is to observe yourself changing
#not snz#delete later#another suddencolds yap post 😭 i apologize#i have been trying to draft a post like this for awhile now... i suppose this is a subset of the many thoughts i've had lately#this year has been so strange??! i joked in january about taking a leave to metamorphose into someone more tolerable but#honestly i am not sure if i am more tolerable now... though i do feel like i've changed. :')#for the better? for the worse? unsure... i feel like i am finding out more and more that#my social battery is unfortunately finite 😭 and that i must be more selective in how i choose to spend my time 🙇♀️#i think all throughout uni the majority of my substantial social interactions happened#over text/online? irl i made a lot of acquaintances via classes and student organizations... but the number of#close friends i had and actively met up with irl was pretty low 😭 and that embarrassed me!! like#how can one 🫵🏼 be surrounded by so many smart people her age and come away with so few in-person friends?? ☹️ skill issue truly!!! 🙄👎#even now i sometimes feel like the need to defend myself from that uncharitable perception of me? as though the idea that#there is/was something wrong with me is something i need to actively disprove 🥲#taken objectively i feel like i'm doing okay socially 😭 i have a decent handful of irl friends that#i meet with pretty regularly and people do seek out my company... but there's this feeling at the back of my mind that#no one will believe me when i say it. perhaps because i am so deeply used to seeing myself as undesirable :')#(^ i think this was all more painful than i am getting across in writing and i am summarizing it all from a point of relative detachment 😶)#but anyways! i am older now and it feels like things are shifting... or that i'm being forced to acknowledge that i have limits socially#in terms of energy rather than capability. which is new :') and i've also been thinking about the feeling of closeness (or lack thereof)#that i feel when it comes to the various friendships in my life. i think i am really fully vulnerable like#kind of seldom actually... but on the rare occasion that i feel sufficiently attached i worry i come across as a little intense 😭#(if i have embarrassed myself in front of you i am very sorry 😭😭 i'm still figuring things out)#(not sure if anyone is still reading this but) these tags are getting long enough 🏃♀️
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
It may be because I'm not feeling quite like I usually do tonight, and have trouble stirring up any sort of emotional feeling at all, but I've noticed one of my own typos in my revised work and think it is not ideal but not greatly detrimental, whereas usually noticing my typos in my revised work makes me feel like i could run myself through on a sword. I will consider this to be improvement.
#rubia speaks#the human mind is incredible at 'autocorrecting' an incorrect letter into a correct one if they look similar enough#unfortunately this means a 'M' slipped into a word instead of a 'W' and i didn't catch it. for months.#this is fine. i've accepted that i make typos sometimes. usually it stings with embarrassment but not tonight#tonight i can look at it the way i look at other people's typos: 'huh i think this was supposed to say that instead. ah well it's ok'#it's the one benefit to feeling so strangely out of touch with myself tonight
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
You should make me fall so deeply in love with you that it’s embarrassing
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#and BEFORE any of yall say that ‘oh um actually love is never embarrassing’ shit— fight me#respectfully we cannot vibe#half of love for me is goinn around KNOWING that i would eat a cardboard box if it meant i could see the person i love smile at me#and it is my god given RIGHT to cringe at myself for it#also love in general is so fucking embarrassing#having the feelings doing the in love thing expressing it#it’s all EMBARASSING#the whole POINT is that the love makes me do it anyway#like if i love you enough to EXPRESS it??? like damn i love you A LOT#like obviously it’s different for everyone but this is what my post is about#and i am choosing to say in advance that NO this is not where we’re doing any of that ‘love is never embarassing’ business#let me watch someone trip and think it’s hot so my brain can go: :/#in PEACE pls#embarassment or cringe isn’t always a bad feeling and yes i WILL die on this hill😤😤😤#im gay and i like sleeping
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
just going to be bitchy on main one last time before making myself go to bed
For real idk why the fuck I'm still bothering with my high effort location/details screenshot compilation posts when I can just make lower effort posts that get SIGNIFICANTLY more notes. Like why the fuck should I even bother to spend at least a couple hours curating screenshots for part 2 of Luis's lab details which will get a maximum of 50 notes when I could just spend like 20 minutes making a few gifs like this and get HUNDREDS of notes
#im not entitled to attention but no one is entitled to my gigantic hoard of very useful reference screenshots#i know theyre very useful bc i frequently reference them myself while writing#and the thing is i can continue to do that myself without posting any publicly :) but i thought other ppl would appreciate them too#and i know a handful of ppl do but overall idk man rn i don't feel appreciated enough to continue sinking my time into these#ill probably feel embarrassed abt breaking down publicly over smth so dumb tomorrow but that's tomorrow heather's problem#tonight heather's problem is feeling ignored by a fandom ive tried so hard to contribute and be helpful to#sorry to the ppl who do interact w and appreciate me are reading this im v thankful for yall and wouldve given up posting sooner without yal#it's still just very discouraging to see my efforts/honestly myselfvgo ignored in the fandom as a whole while other ppl get more notes#and interaction that i see on my dash all the time#idk i dont think that came out right but for rn i really need to just shut the fuck up
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i get embarrassed about the name orpheus sometimes because like wowww we all know exactly where you got that from but it's also suchhhh a pretty name to me sorry. i like it a lot...
#also most people don't actually know Exactly where i got it from but like. the approximate reason is close enough#one day i'll bite the bullet of initial embarrassment and start introducing myself with it because i think i will be happier once i do..#.txt
8 notes
·
View notes