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starconsumer444 · 3 years

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“When Things Fall In Place” (18+)

Creepy Roommate!Kenma

(A/N: This is...about 3.1k of pure degeneracy, which I actually had no intention on writing, finishing, or publishing and just thought out as I went... There was no planning, no actual ideas prior to this {actually its based off this guy I met recently because im always stuck with the creeps}...I just started it late at night [basically the early hours of the morning] and finished it this afternoon. I haveeee to stop writing for haikyuu... But I’m probably gonna fall off, comeback and write one or two request with a bunch of other random bs, and then disappear again after this, but thats just how it is. I get bored of writing every three days then come back to write my heart out. I really have to write my requests soon or they’ll hate me...)

(Cw/Tw: Fem!Reader, Stalking, Somno, Rape/Noncon, Virgin!Kenma, Theft, Crying, Poor Writing, Kenma is a sweaty, friendless, looser in this one guys, I’m bad at tagging these but you get the idea... this is bad and nasty. 3.1k!!!! THIS IS LONG AS HELL)

You don’t know much about him, Kenma— your roommate. You’ve been living together for almost a year at this point and that can’t be normal. He stays in his room playing video games, doesn’t seem to have friends, leaves for work in the morning, and keeps to himself for the most part. Honestly, if you didn’t greet each other in passing you would’ve forgotten the sound of his voice by now. It’s low, unaffected, and monotone for the most part. Maybe he just doesn’t want to be bothered?

But see, Kenma knows everything about you. You went to middle and high school together, but he was just as standoffish in those days too. He doesn’t expect you to remember him, you clearly don’t, but it still weighs on his heart. Was he that forgettable? It’s okay, because one day he’ll tell you. One day he’ll tell you everything.

He’s been obsessed with you since middle school, you were the pretty girl that sat in the front of the class and smelled so good. You would talk to give answers in class and he would be all ears, because to him your voice was his only source of happiness. To hear you speak and smell your perfume as you walked past him was a reason to live. Sure, it was weird, but so were a lot of things about him. He had no friends, could you blame him? Would you? So maybe, then, in middle school it was an innocent harmless crush, not an obsession, but in high school he was definitely obsessed.

He overheard you say it to your friends— where you were going to high school, and he told his parents thats where he wanted to enroll. The entire time he never spoke to you, much like middle school, he was off in a corner playing a game alone, inconspicuously keeping an eye on you. He used to trail you and your friends around the school and he always wondered how you were so perfect? How you were so good at making friends? How you stood out like that? Maybe that’s why you were so unapproachable...

He remembers you were class president for three consecutive years up until graduation. You were so damn intimidating, but everyone loved you, especially Kenma and you were blind to it. You never ONCE noticed him or gave a damn about him and you were class president. He wanted to talk to you so bad, but he just couldn't. He would steal things from you with the intent to say he found them and maybe start a conversation, but he ended up hoarding them in his room at home. The biggest thing he’d stolen was a sweater because you hadn’t seemed to notice the erasers or pencils.

He vividly remembers the sheer panic and urgency he stuffed that damned pink sweater into his backpack with, so scared he’d get caught and called a creep. He really did plan on returning it but he just— it smelled so good back then...he remembers. He took it home and hid it under his bed, only opting to take it out and hold it to his face and just smell it on special occasions when he felt up to it and guilt wasn't taking over his mind, body, and soul. He knew it was wrong but he felt the most alive in moments where he didn’t care. He’d tried to resist the urge, but at some point he started to pleasure himself with it too. It started happening so often that he’d get hard at the smell of you even when you walked by him in class. He still has that sweater.

At some point during that time, he’d picked up the strange hobby of following you home from school. You walked alone all the time so he’d lie to himself and say it was for your safety as he stalked around corners and made sure you never saw him. He’d always watch you enter your home from down the block, far enough so he wouldn't catch your attention. Those times he didn’t want you to notice him, he felt sick doing it, but it was something akin to an addiction and he just couldn't stop himself. This was a short lived addiction though...about a month or so.

His mom started to pick up on his staying out later than usual and by then he’d actually started to go up in front of your house and just stare at it. He prayed to god that you didn’t see him being a creep like this, but sometimes he wished you did because at the very least you would recognize his existence. Still, you never saw him. He went back to being locked up in his room, playing video games until the early hours of the morning, rubbing himself raw against your sweater, and being consumed by you in private. All he wanted was for you to acknowledge him. Tell him that he exists to you, because he’s sure his existence is for you.

Those days were hell on earth, he struggled to shower and his only motivation for getting up and doing anything was to see you, who didn't know he existed. It was a depraved cycle.

Now he’s here with you, and the first time he talked to you was to respond to a “roommate wanted” ad. Isn’t it wonderful how things come full circle?

Still, he struggles to actually hold face to face conversations with you. How could he? He fantasizes about you so much...it feels wrong.

These days he finds himself rutting into your sheets when you're out praying that you don’t catch him, stealing your panties just to hold them to his nose and eventually soak them in his cum, and even worse having disgustingly sadistic fantasies about you belonging to him. He pushes those fantasies to the back of his mind, though. He doesn't want to be fucked up, but then again, it can't be that bad to want to own your source of happiness.

His infatuation reaches a peak one night when he finds himself groggily trudging his way to your room in the dead of night with his fleshlight in hand. He tried everything, he didn't want to jack off so he played his video games like usual, but even that didn’t take his mind off of you. Typically, he’d jack off with his fleshlight alone in his room to depraved and deluded fantasies of you, but tonight he needs to be near you; to see you, to smell you, and to know you’re there.

Upon entering your room he flips the light on, and it’s actually really dim— not that he hoped to wake you up or anything. He tip-toes over to the side of your bed and stands over your sleeping figure. You look so beautiful when you’re asleep, a shame he’s never thought about seeing you like this before or rather...a shame he’s violating you like this. He wants himself to stop because he knows it’s wrong, but he’s wanted something like this for so long and right now it’s in the palm of his hand. He’s sick and he knows it.

Still, he pulls his sweats and underwear down just enough to where they’re right under his balls. The cold air of your ceiling fan hits his painfully hard shaft and it feels so good it makes him sick. He slowly sheaths himself inside the faithfully used toy imagining it was you. That’s even easier to do now that you’re right here in front of him.

His heart is racing, and he feels sick to his stomach...

“Gotta make this quick,” That’s what he says under his breath, but he want’s you to wake up and see him, he want’s you to call him a pervert and make him leave you alone forever. He wants to see you horrified by the sight of him pleasuring himself to your sleeping body. Is that so wrong?

Yeah, he knows it is. He can’t bring himself to care, though. He pumps himself in and out with hurried movements. He feels so gross and so good like this. Even with the fan on above him he’s sweating bullets like a madman, but he just can’t stop himself, he swears this isn’t his fault. His rational mind would never permit this, but when has he ever gone with that side of himself?

He starts to lose himself in pleasure, moaning out your name in his typical low voice rather than a whisper. He doesn't catch himself, and his moans start to get louder and louder. You start to stir and he can’t bring himself to shut up. You can’t be that light a sleeper, right?

Wrong.

Your eye’s flutter open and then meet his and he cums unreasonably hard and his moan is gross and loud. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and he doubles over from the pleasure. His hand grabbing on to your mattress is the only thing keeping him from hitting the floor.

His heart pounds in his chest and his breathing is erratic, but that’s not why the look in your eye’s is nothing but terror. He's sweating so much, he wants to apologize, but he doesn't.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He says sliding the toy off of himself. He thinks you look even more beautiful when you’re awake and scared out of your mind.

You lie there, staring up at him, still trying to process how your aloof roommate could—

He climbs on your bed, fleshlight in hand, and straddles your waist and all you can bring yourself to do is shake your head.

“Kenma-” He presses his index finger to your lips and you freeze again.

Suddenly, he’s bringing the fleshlights opening to your mouth and you still can’t bring yourself to fight him.

“Please go away,” You ask like this is just some nightmare. You know it’s not, you can feel his weight on top of you and it feels too real. He’s so warm and so heavy.

“Lick.” He commands. He swears to himself that he’ll go away forever after this, the final piece to his happiness puzzle.

Tears start to fall down your face but he’s still insistent on having you eat his cum out of his gross plaything. When you don’t move, he leans over and presses it to your face.

“Lick.”

This time, out of fear, you do. His cum tastes rancid, like battery acid. Disgusting would be more than an understatement. That doesn’t stop you from cleaning the toy with your tongue like your like depends on it, because right now...it might.

His eyes are tired when he smiles, almost dead, he looks sick. His hairs greasy, skin is pale, and he’s fisting his half hard dick while he watches you take his seed into your pretty mouth. You’ve never been this close to him before.

He strokes himself back to hardness like a delinquent. He knows he wants to leave you alone, but now he just can’t. When he tosses the fleshlight aside you’re shaking and crying begging him to go away.

“Kenma, please-” As much as he likes when you say his name, he can’t help but stifle your desperate begging with a kiss.

It’s gross, wet, and all over the place, but Kenma doesn’t notice that. He’s never kissed anyone before and he’s beyond ecstatic that it’s you. You don’t bother with kissing him back, you just lie there, eyes open and crying.

He savors this kiss, his first kiss. His lips are softer than expected, but he’s not— violence plagues his movements. His heart races even faster now, and when you try to turn your lips away from his he just grabs your jaw and holds you still. He gets drool all over both of your faces, and you can barely breathe. You can still feel him jacking himself off between your bodies and you feel nauseous. This “kiss” is so unpracticed and unrefined, he’s basically licking the inside of your mouth and breathing in your face.

Why is he doing this?

You feel him finally moving from your lips and pulling your shirt up to let cold air hit your tits. For a second, he pauses to catch his breath, chest heaving and spit covered mouth hanging open. He stares down at your chest in awe. You turn away in embarrassment, he doesn’t mind it; you must be terrified.

With one hand holding your shirt up, he brings the other from his dick to squeeze at your chest. You wince and struggle against him because he’s so fucking rough and it hurts. Then he gives one of your breasts a hard slap, and you start to writhe up under him.

It brings a smile to his face, but he doesn’t do it anymore. He wants to try something different.

He carefully slides down off of you and between your legs. He grossly presses his face against your clothed cunt and smells you even licking you through your pajama bottoms.

He sees the shock on your face when you sit up to look at him and he simply brushes it off, too far gone to be considerate at this point.

When his hands pull down your pajama bottoms-

“No no no no nononono Kenma please stop it.” You whine and kick at him uselessly. You sit up to try to push his hands away but its all useless, he’s so unreasonably strong for someone his size. When he finally slides your pajama bottoms and underwear off of you and on to the floor he buries his face between your folds.

It’s like when he was kissing you, gross, wet, and unpracticed. He’s just haphazardly lapping at your labia and vulva. You push at his shoulders trying to get him off of you while crying your eyes out. It doesn’t seem to effect him though, he just locks his arms around your thighs, sliding you down onto your back.

At some point his tongue washes clean over your clit and he feels your body jolt from the pleasure. He finds it again and your body stiffens. He looks up at your crying face and squeezes the meat of your thighs between his fingers as he abuses your clit to no end.

You’re sobbing at this point because to you this all feels without reason. For the first time in your life you are scared of Kenma. From what you remember of him, he was always voiceless and sweet, even during school when he decided to show up. He was a kid who always greeted the teacher, even if it was wordless, he got his work done on time when he could, and he minded his business. You never talked to him, but you did hold his understated presence in the back of your mind— for the longest you pegged him as a boy who could be pleasant if you got to know him. So, why was he doing this? Why is he hurting you?

You made him your roommate because you thought that he of all people wouldn’t do this. You wanted to be friends. What did you do?

Now he’s violating you after a year of little to no interaction and him being barely there. He knows it’s wrong and you're not fighting him anymore, you’re just laying there, chest heaving and silent.

He lifts his head to plant a wet kiss on your inner thigh and drags his tongue against the soft skin momentarily. He looks at your scared face and gives a crooked smile. He’s sorry, he really is but this feels like a dream to him. You're too good not to take.

He finds himself positioning his dick right between your folds and rutting against you. You really must’ve given up, your fight is long gone as he holds you down by your pelvic bones—uncut nails breach your soft skin.

Excitement fills his body as your wetness begins to coat his length as he rocks himself back and forth. He’s careful and his breathing is labored.

“I-” He tries and fails. “You never noticed me, but I’ve loved you forever.” He’s shy. Kenma looks down at your stomach, too embarrassed to meet your crying eyes.

“We went to school together for years...” He trails off, still staring down. He doesn’t have the guts to look at the mess he’s made of you. “I wanted to talk to you, but you wouldn’t like- no. I was scared.” He shakes his head softly and finally meets your eyes. You're still crying. He feels his throat tighten and he doesn't want to talk anymore.

“Don’t look at me like that!” He stops his movements to reach over and pull the pillow from behind you. He puts it over your face and thinks to hold it there, maybe to suffocate you for a second, but he doesn't. He’s already done enough bad. He just lets it sit there, you’re the one to grab it and hold it there.

You hold it against your face like your life depends on it. You can't breathe very well, but what does it matter? You want him to go away.You want this to end. So, you cling onto that pillow and pretend like you’re anywhere but here.

It’s an illusion that fails quickly. You feel him press his length into you. It’s rushed, it hurts, and he doesn't know what he’s doing. You squeeze the pillow, and his sweaty hands play with your tits. You can feel the tears well up in your eyes. You don’t want this, it’s a nightmare.

He’s not that big, rather small actually, but he has girth. He hopes you can feel it. He moves slowly dragging every inch of himself against your walls. He mouths at your nipples and it feels yucky. At some point you’re sure you feel him lay a wet kiss on your stomach.

You don’t know. It’s over quickly, but it feels like forever.

His thrusts were sloppy and unseasoned just like everything else he’s done. He’d never had sex before, but he hoped he was good. When he came his body seized and his fingers dug into your sides. He was glad you weren't watching because the embarrassment from coming so fast a second time was much easier to handle.

You two sit in silence for a while after that, the only audible sound is you sniveling. He watches silently as your body shakes and tucks himself back in, to at least feel decent. It’s like that for five whole minutes until he finally decides to go back to his room.

In the silence of his own dark room the water works start in full force as he comes to terms with what he’s done. He’s a degenerate who will struggle to sleep tonight.

#tw: noncon #kenma smut #yandere kenma #kenma x reader #yandere haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #I still don't write fics #but I do enjoy giving things titles #I think this is my worst writing on this blog so far #it may be longer but...outside of that...

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goldenraeofsun · 3 years

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Remember Me, Honeybee

Part I

Two hours into the farmers market, and Dean’s had enough. Even the gorgeous day outside, sunlight streaming down from a cloudless sky, does nothing for him.

Next to him in their produce stall, Sam rearranges their vegetable display with all the intensity of Bobby Fischer facing off against the Soviets. He adjusts an eggplant a few inches to the left, eyes it critically, and moves it back where it was.

Yesterday, Dean got sunburned from too many hours in the sun harvesting. But before he could even think about a shower, a visitor pounded on their door because some neighbor ratted them out to local Fish and Wildlife. So on top of dealing with a peeling forehead and an aching back, Dean had to take care of Ms. Rosen nearly breaking and entering to get at Sam or his watercress - she wasn’t really clear on which was her priority.

Sam, the cowardly sasquatch, bolted the moment her car tires pulled up to their farm.

It took an hour to get Ms. Rosen to leave. First, Dean had to show her Sam’s pet watercress plants at the edge of their property. According to Ms. Rosen, they’re an invasive species, which Sam could’ve mentioned to Dean at some point. Then, Ms. Rosen explained the $150 fine - all the while heavily implying she could dock a few bucks if left alone in a room with Sam.

Dean forked over the money. Sam’s virtue got to live to see another day.

At least Becky gave Dean plenty of blackmail material. If Sam pisses him off one more time, guess who’s getting Sam’s phone number faxed straight to her field office?

Dean was looking forward to sharing the whole story with Cas when they pulled up to the farmer’s market that morning. But his favorite beekeeper, potter, and candlestick maker is notably absent again.

As Hannah steps away from her stall to replenish her display, Dean seizes his chance. “Be right back,” he calls to Sam as he darts out behind their table.

When she catches sight of him, Hannah turns her back to lift a crate of soaps that would’ve left Dean sore for days. Goddamn angel strength.

“I may be a dumb human,” Dean starts, “but even I know that angels don’t get sick.” His voice drips with disdain. “Where’s Cas? The real reason, this time. Not that BS you fed me last week.”

Hannah sighs, her normally refined tawny wings fluttering in barely-concealed agitation. “He’s… indisposed.”

Dean folds his arms over his chest. “Cas has been here, rain or shine, every market for two whole friggin’ years. Is he,” he forces out the words, dread trickling down his spine, “dying or something?”

“No.” Hannah shakes her head. “He’s not mortally ill. He’s just indisposed.”

Dean gawks at her. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You have customers,” Hannah says shortly.

Dean waves off a soccer mom armed with a bushel of kale and a hungry leer. “Sam’s handling the orders.” He points at the line in front of Sam, and the lady walks off in a huff.

“Is that right?” Hannah asks innocently once Dean’s attention darts back to her.

“Cut the crap,” Dean says sharply. “Why hasn’t Cas shown for the past two weeks? The real reason. None of that indisposed bullshit.”

Hannah sighs. “You’re keeping me from my own customers.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “So you’d better talk fast.”

Hannah makes a face like she smelled Sam’s post-Chipotle farts. “Castiel was cursed.”

“What?”

“Keep it down,” Hannah hisses, leaning in. ��He - well, it’s a long story. Our cousin, an archangel, cursed him.”

“For fuck’s sake, why?”

Hannah’s lips purse. “Gabriel has been very hard to contact for the details. He apparently thought Castiel was moping too loudly or too frequently. ”

“Moping?” Dean echoes, his brow furrowing. “Cas always seemed fine to me.”

Hannah shrugs. “Ask Gabriel. Now, if you don’t mind,” she lifts her nose into the air, wings straightening, “I have customers.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean retreats to his vegetable stand, his head swimming.

Dean never saw himself as a farmer until his health nut little brother decided to ditch his high-paying (and stressful) lawyer job to play Green Acres, and Dean, naturally, followed since there was no goddamn way Sam knew his way around a tractor. Sam was more likely to mow down his own gigantor foot than move a clod of dirt. Luckily, to Dean, an engine’s an engine.

At the farmers market, Sam’s booth was placed next to Cas’s. On their first day, Cas walked over with a complimentary jar of honey. He was stilted and awkward, sure, but he was also the first one to welcome them into the fold.

Lost in thoughts and worries about Cas, Dean almost gives a customer a twenty dollar bill instead of a one, blanks on when their summer squash will be in season, and accidentally rings up asparagus as broccoli.

“Look,” Sam says after apologizing for Dean’s latest mistake, “why don’t you head back and check on the tomatoes? It’s winding down here.”

Dean dubiously eyes the hubbub of people browsing vegetables.

Sam gives him a light shove towards their truck. “Just go. I know you don’t want to be here, anyway.”

Dean grimaces. “It’s that obvious?”

“To everyone and their grandmother,” Sam says under his breath.

Asparagus Man at the front of the line nods gravely.

“Thanks,” Dean says sourly to both of them.

“Go check on Cas,” Sam says as he gestures for the next customer to step up to the register. “Swing by and pick me up in a few hours.”

* * *

At the foot of the unpaved driveway up to Cas’s house, Dean cuts the engine. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel, debating with himself. Cas might not want visitors.

But Dean brought pie.

Homemade, of course. And if it was supposed to celebrate Sam’s birthday tomorrow, what Cas doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Sam likes cake better, anyway, because he’s a freak.

Dean grabs the pie, shoves open the door, and strides up the dirt road to Cas’s house before he can talk himself out of it for good.

This is what you do for sick friends, anyway. Charlie drove all the way up to the city with chicken noodle soup, Settlers of Catan, and prime gossip on Benny’s on-and-off-again thing with Andrea when Dean had the flu a few years ago.

Dean is just being a good friend. It’s not weird.

He knocks on Cas’s cobalt blue door, his heart beating double-time behind his ribs as the seconds wear on with no answer.

Dean dawdles on Cas’s welcome mat. He tries again. Cas’s house isn’t exactly small, with its pottery studio in the basement and wax room in the back. Cas might be in his nest, on the can, or in his garden by the hives. Hell, with this mysterious curse, Cas might not be home at all - but stuck in some angel hospital being poked and prodded by docs. He probably should have squeezed Hannah for more details.

The door opens as Dean contemplates, for the hundredth time, bailing with his tail between his legs.

“Hello?” Cas says, peering curiously at Dean.

“Cas,” Dean says, relieved. From one cursory look, Cas seems normal. His hair’s fucked up, of course. His dark wings are equally unkempt, feathers sticking out every which way. All typical Cas.

Cas blinks. His mouth opens, closes, and opens again. But no sound comes out.

“You’re up,” Dean says stupidly. Of course Cas is up, or he wouldn’t have been able to answer the damn door. Dean shifts his weight to his other foot. “Hannah mentioned you’d, uh, been cursed,” he says awkwardly.

Cas relaxes a fraction. “Ah, yes, I was.”

Dean gives Cas another once-over. “I just found out this morning, so I thought I’d stop by. Bring pie." He holds up the pie as evidence. "See how you are. But you look good.”

Cas squints at him, his head tilting. “Thank you?” he asks like he had a half-dozen responses in his head and chose that one at random.

“No prob.”

Cas’s gaze darts down to the pie in Dean’s hands for the first time. “Would you like to come in?”

Dean grins. “Yeah,” he says, stepping inside. “I’ll take this to the kitchen. I’m starving. Do you wanna eat it now?”

Cas gestures him forward. “This way.”

Dean throws him a funny look but follows him to the kitchen he’s been in about a hundred times before - for Cas’s annual Spring Equinox party, for a handful of dinners with other farmers in the area, for water breaks in between weeding Cas’s bee-friendly garden.

Afternoon sunlight from the beautiful day outside streams through the large windows that overlook the back porch and garden. It illuminates the kitchen table, absolutely covered with what looks like all of Cas’s beekeeping books.

Dean clears enough space for pie and strides over to the drawer for the baking utensils, saying over his shoulder, “I hope you’re hungry.”

When Cas doesn’t answer, Dean hastily turns back around - only to find himself practically nose-to-nose with Cas.

Dean takes an instinctive step backwards, his ass smacking the drawer closed again. “Dude,” he says in a strangled voice. His heart pounds in his chest at the close proximity and intense look in Cas’s eye. “We talked about this. Personal space.”

Cas retreats, his brow furrowing. “My apologies,” he mumbles. “I must have misread the situation.”

“I - yeah - I guess,” Dean stutters as he grabs plates and stacks two forks on top.

Cas falls heavily into a seat at the kitchen table. Silently, he moves enough books around for them to sit and eat.

Dean eyes the haphazard piles as he takes his own seat. “D’you have a problem with one of the hives or something?”

Cas shakes his head. “I don’t think so,” he says, his brow furrowing. “But it’s hard to tell.”

Dean snorts as he cuts them both slices. “I thought you knew everything about bees.”

Cas shoots him a dour look. “I did,” he says pointedly.

“Did?”

Cas fusses with a pamphlet on colony collapse. “I’m trying to catch up, but there is a lot of information to learn.”

Dean frowns. “Catch up to what?”

“To where I was,” Cas says, head tilting.

Dean sets the pie server down to focus on Cas, since he’s not making any goddamn sense. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Cas looks at him like Dean’s the one who lost his mind. “I don’t remember how to take care of them.” After a beat, he clarifies, “The bees. I’ve spent the better part of two weeks relearning how to maintain the hives, harvest honey, check if there is enough honey to harvest...” he drifts off, looking more than a little lost.

Dean blinks. “That’s the curse?” He grimaces as he forks off a generous corner of pie. “Dick move on Gabriel’s part. That’s your goddamn livelihood.”

Cas tilts his head, eyes narrowing. “He didn’t just make me forget the bees.”

Dean chews at Cas thoughtfully. “What else? Please tell me you forgot that time with the goat and a hooker.”

Cas stares at him. “I don’t remember anything.”

Dean’s next bite of pie freezes halfway to his mouth. “What do you mean anything?” he demands.

“I didn’t think it needed explaining,” Cas says waspishly, as all the pieces finally fall into place for Dean. “I thought Hannah told you about it.” His feathers rustle against the back of his chair.

“Hannah only said you were cursed!” Dean flails, “Not that you have goddamned amnesia. Do you know what pie is? Do you know who I am?”

Cas blinks, a little taken aback by Dean’s reaction. “I retain my general knowledge. I know what pie is,” he says. “I don’t remember eating it, but I know it is meat or fruit wrapped in pastry.”

“Oh my god.”

Cas’s gaze falls to the uneaten pie in front of him. “And, no, I don’t know who you are.”

Dean blinks, all the blood draining from his face. He forces out, “You’re serious.”

“I’d hardly joke with a stranger,” Cas says frankly.

Dean lets his fork drop back to the plate with a clatter.

Cas peers at him curiously. “The curse erased all my personal memories, but I was assuming we were friends, is this right? You know your way around my house, and Hannah wouldn’t have divulged my condition to just anyone.”

“Yeah,” Dean says gruffly, “we’re friends. I - my brother and me, we have a stand next to yours at the farmer’s market.”

“Oh,” Cas says. “Work colleagues, then.”

Dean snorts. “A little more than that.”

Cas bites his lip. “But you told me to respect your personal space. If we were -”

“Woah!” Dean cuts in before Memento can come up with any more bright ideas, “We’re close friends, alright?” he says before Cas can get another word out, “But not… like that.”

Dean doesn’t even know if Cas goes for humans. Most angels don’t. Cas never mentioned any romantic partners, and Dean never pressed. Better to keep that box locked up tight. Cas never shied away from giving his opinion to Dean or anyone else. He’s the most blunt, sincere person Dean knows - angel or human.

If he felt anything for Dean - the barest speck of more-than-friendly feelings, he’d have said something.

“Oh,” Cas says, and, behind him, his wings droop the smallest fraction.

Dean scans the table and pushes Cas’s worn copy of The How-To-Do-It Book of Bee-Keeping by Richard Taylor his way. “Test me.”

“What?”

Dean shovels more pie into his mouth. “As’ me anyfin’,” he mumbles.

Bemused, Cas opens the book to a random page. “How do you use a bee escape?” he reads aloud.

“Do you know what they are?” At Cas’s headshake, Dean holds his fingers about three inches apart, “They’re little plastic doodads with little bee-sized holes in the middle. You slide ‘em in the hive right before you’re about to harvest. Once they’re fitted, you smoke out the bees, one comb at a time. Once they’re out of the way, you can scrape off the honey.”

Cas’s eyes narrow. “Do you also keep bees?”

Dean can’t help his loud laugh. “God no,” he says as he closes his mouth around another bite of pie. “I’m just a farmer. But I’ve helped you out a few times.”

At least twice a month since Dean moved to this corner of semi-rural America, but who’s counting. Honey is only harvested once a year, but Cas can always use an extra set of hands in his garden. Or around the house. Dean’s worked off more than one argument with Sam by kneading clay in Cas’s pottery studio basement.

“So you know all this from me,” Cas says dubiously.

“Sure do,” Dean says, smacking his lips as he debates another slice of Cas’s get-well-soon pie. “You’re a good teacher, and once you get on a roll about the bees, it’s kinda hard to shut you up.”

“Sorry?”

“Don’t be,” Dean says as he cuts himself another (smallish) slice. “I look hot in a beekeeper suit, anyway.”

Cas frowns, confused. “Do most humans find baggy coveralls and heavy veils sexually appealing?”

Dean snorts. “That was a joke.”

Dean doesn’t mention that he finds the beekeeper getup hot as hell as long as it’s Cas wearing it.

It’s just - Cas doesn’t usually bother with the veil since he likes to have a full range of vision when caring for his bees. Dean once let a whole comb drop on his foot at the sight of Cas bent over, wholly concentrated on the hive, a barely-there smile hidden in the corners of his mouth. His blue eyes were luminous in the bright sunlight, and every few seconds he would lick his lips, probably to wipe away the beads of sweat gathering on his upper lip.

“Oh,” Cas says, a faint blush touching his cheeks. His gaze drops to his plate, and his wings sag behind him.

Dean mentally kicks himself. Cas might still have all a whole encyclopedia shoved in his brain, but jokes will fly right over his head like so many of Cas’s precious bees. Since Dean started hanging around, he had been getting better with the jokes and references, but Total Recall Cas got that goddamn factory reset, so Dean has to cool it for now.

“Forget it,” he tells Cas. “I’m an asshole.”

Cas squints across the table at him. “You are not.”

“Huh?”

Cas carefully spears off a bit of pie. “You came by to check on me, offer me food,” he slips his fork into his mouth, eyes closing as he savors the tart cherries and buttery pastry, “stay and talk.”

“I, mean, yeah,” Dean says, wrongfooted, “we’re friends. ‘S the least I could do.”

Cas has another bite. “This is really good.”

“Thanks,” Dean says before he crams the rest of his slice into his mouth. He studies Cas as they both eat, an uncomfortable foreboding settling deep in his stomach. Now he sees it, how Cas doesn’t look at him with any familiarity. It’s more like, to Cas, Dean is some fucked up jigsaw puzzle slash zoo animal. Eventually, Dean has to ask, “Are you going to get your memories back?”

Cas shakes his head, his expression hardening. “I’m not sure.”

Dean’s mouth falls open. “Are you serious?” He braces both elbows on the table. “But you were cursed - there’s gotta be a way to break it. That’s how curses work, right?”

Cas exhales a slow sigh. “Gabriel did say there was a way to break it.”

“And you haven’t yet?” Dean demands, almost offended on Cas’s - his Cas’s - behalf. “You’re okay forgetting your whole life?”

Cas’s eyes narrow. “Are you insane?” he hisses, his feathers puffing up like an angry cat. “Of course I am not ‘okay,’” he says, air quotes and all, which Dean hasn’t seen since he told Cas they were lame. (He felt bad about it for a week afterward and gave Cas a free apology pumpkin. First of the season.)

“I am able to navigate the outside world as well as a human toddler,” Cas continues heatedly. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the past two weeks?”

Dean huffs an impatient breath. “What have you tried so far?”

Cas grimaces. “Gabriel said it could be broken like all curses could be broken.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“I have no clue,” Cas says frankly. “I spent a week in Heaven’s archives and libraries. The most common way to break curses is by consuming a stone taken from the stomach of a goat -”

Dean makes a gagging noise.

“-or bathing in the blood of a virgin at the new moon.”

“Not any less gross,” Dean says emphatically. “Where the hell are you going to get virgin blood? Are they talking about, like, a whole virgin? Or does born again count?”

Cas shakes his head. “The new moon was four days ago.”

Dean frowns. “Did you have to do the blood thing?”

From the look on Cas’s face, Dean isn’t going to make him watch Carrie anytime soon.

“So I went to more obscure magic,” Cas continues. “I tried bathing in a natural source of water. And then I ran a bath and filled it with salt, since salt repels evil.”

“All I’m hearing is lots of bathing so far.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “I lit sage in every room and burned three types of wood. I wore an evil eye bracelet. I sprinkled consecrated water blended with honey over the threshold.”

“No dice?”

Cas throws him a baleful look. “I have ants now.”

Dean snorts. “Well that sucks,” he says, since what else can you say when your best friend swaps all his memories for a Bug's Life?

Cas sighs. “From my notes and research, I can’t leave the hives completely unattended, so I’ve spent the past few days trying to figure out how not to kill them,” he says, gesturing to the rest of the kitchen table. “Once I’ve determined if the bees will survive on their own, I can look back into the curse.”

Dean purses his lips. “Have you prayed to Gabriel? Tried to convince him to take it back?”

“Every day since it happened,” Cas says, his face somber.

“Alright,” Dean says, grabbing Cas’s empty plate, “I can’t help with the curse stuff since I save the teen witch adventures for Sabrina. I can help with the bees, though, if you want.” He gets to his feet and dumps the plates in the sink.

Once his back is turned, he frowns as he thinks his words over. Who knows if this Cas actually wants him around? This Cas doesn’t know him from Adam.

To the dishes Dean says, “The next beekeeper is a few towns over. I could give him a call for you, if you’d rather have him. Cain’s mostly retired, so he’d probably have the time to show you the ropes.”

“Is Cain an angel?”

Dean laughs over the splashing water. “No, he’s a crotchety old bastard who would rather live with bees than people. You get along.” He sets the rinsed plates out to dry and faces Cas. “I’m sure you have his number in your phone too, come to think of it.”

Cas meets Dean’s cautious gaze with his usual soul-searing stare. “I wouldn’t mind if you helped me. Maybe I could call Cain if there are any advanced problems we can’t figure out together.”

Dean smiles. “Sounds like a plan.” He jerks his head towards the backyard. “You wanna get suited up?”

“Now?” Cas asks, alarmed.

“No time like the present,” Dean says as he walks out of the kitchen without waiting for Cas to follow. “Come on, we’re wasting daylight.”

* * *

Cas stares at his beekeeper suit, hanging in its usual place on his screened back porch, next to his gardening gloves.

“You okay?” Dean asks. “You’ve got a spare in your shed, so I’ll grab it on the way.”

Cas picks up the suit like it’s about to bite him.

“’S a good thing I’m here,” Dean says as Cas slowly unzips the front. “It’s always a bitch to get your wings covered.”

Cas’s wings slump. “I have a feeling this is going to be more trouble than it’s worth.”

“Hey,” Dean says, taking a step forward, “no, it’s your bees. You love them.”

Cas frowns. “But I don’t remember how.”

Dean grins. “Then you’re a lucky son of a bitch who gets to fall in love with something all over again.” He sighs wistfully. “What I wouldn’t give to erase Star Wars from my brain and watch it again for the first time.”

“What is Star Wars?”

“A trilogy of movies from the 70s and 80s,” Dean says, his smile widening.

Cas nods. “I’ll have to rewatch them, then.”

“Damn right,” Dean says. “I gave you the DVDs for my birthday last year, so they should be around here somewhere.”

“For your birthday?” Cas asks, eyebrows rising. “Isn’t gift-giving normally the other way around?”

Dean shrugs. “But I’d been bugging you to watch ‘em with me for years. Trust me, it was an awesome birthday.”

Cas opens his mouth like he’s not sure where to poke holes in Dean’s story first, so Dean reaches for the wing covers. “I think we should do the hard part first.”

“You’re currently the expert,” Cas says as he sets the suit aside.

Dean frowns as he takes in Cas’s black wings, reflecting muted tones of magenta, purple, cobalt, and green. Normally, Cas rocks the sex wing look - a few feathers askew here and there like someone raked their fingers through them - but now his wings look more like Cas stuck his alulas in an electrical socket.

Without thinking, Dean says, “It’s gonna be hard to get them in the wing covers. They’re a little messed up, dude.” As Cas’s face falls, Dean adds quickly, “Nothing a little grooming can’t fix.”

Cas flushes. “I haven’t been able to reach my whole wingspan on my own. Hannah offered-” he breaks off, his gaze skittering around to settle just over Dean’s left shoulder. “But I don’t know her, not really, so I was uncomfortable accepting.”

Dean takes a step back. “I mean, you don’t need to do it. I’ll have to touch a couple feathers to get these on you, if you’re okay with that.”

Cas swallows. “No, you’re right. My wings are a mess.”

Dean’s fingers practically tingle with the urge to reach out and smooth down the closest feathers, but he shoves his free hand deep into his pocket instead.

“Can you help me?” Cas asks.

Dean quietly dies inside.

Cas’s wings flutter in anticipation, and Dean is so, so weak.

“Yeah,” Dean says gruffly as he drops the wing cover and approaches Cas’s back. “You sure, man? I - I’ve never done this before.”

Cas turns his head. “Never?”

Dean clenches his hands into fists. Don’t touch. Not until he says so. Dean can keep his goddamn hands to himself. Cas deserves that much.

“Do you want me to walk you through it?” Cas asks softly. “I know how, since it’s only personal memories about my life that seem to have been affected.”

“Ah,” Dean hesitates, a hundred and one wing kink porn videos flashing through his head like popup ads. “No,” he coughs, “I know the mechanics.”

Cas’s eyes narrow. “Are you sure?”

Dean fidgets in place. “‘S like picking beans, right? Don’t pull on them too hard. They’ll come off if they want to come off. Make sure nothing is sticking out at weird angles.”

Cas makes a face. “Did you just compare my wings to legumes?”

“Maybe?” Dean says defensively. “Look, I know vegetables, and I know what your wings are supposed to look like. What else do you want from me?”

Cas’s mouth opens, but no words come out. With a sigh, he faces forward, presenting his wings for Dean.

Dean inhales a deep breath. Christ, his hands are goddamn shaking. Get a fucking grip, Winchester. He lightly touches the base of Cas’s left wing.

Cas shivers, the feathers rippling.

Dean yanks his hand back.

“Sorry,” Cas says sheepishly. “You took me by surprise. Please continue.”

Gently, Dean grazes the base of the wing again. The feathers rustle like under a moderate breeze, but Cas doesn’t tell him to stop, so Dean keeps going. He feels along the surface of Cas’s wings, most of the feathers slipping, glossy smooth, under his fingertips - until he catches the first snag. Nerves rocketing up to eleven, Dean tugs lightly on the first feather out of place.

Cas sucks in a breath.

It comes loose, and Dean has a fleeting, stupid thought to steal it for himself. But he lets it flutter to the floor.

Dean soldiers on, biting his lip as he tries to keep himself from grabbing handfuls of feathers and burying his face in Cas’s wings. Meticulously, painstakingly, he combs through the mess. As he moves closer to the second joint, Cas’s feathers, which had been subtly shifting the whole time, stiffen.

“You okay?” Dean asks.

Cas nods, stilted. “Please continue,” he says, his voice rough.

Dean frowns. If Cas is uncomfortable and doesn’t want to tell him, Dean’s not going to be the asshole who turns a blind eye to the signs. He withdraws his hands, and Cas’s wings -

They flare out, seeking Dean’s touch.

Without thinking, Dean blurts an astounded, “Dude.”

“Apologies,” Cas says, and, from this angle, Dean has primetime viewing of the back of Cas’ traffic light-red neck. His wings retreat to fold stiff as a board behind Cas’s back.

“Hey, no,” Dean says as he lays a hand along Cas’s wing, petting it gently. “I just wanted to check in with you.” He grins lopsidedly, not that Cas can see him. “Communication is important.”

Cas coughs. “Indeed,” he says, and his voice still sounds off. “Please continue. I,” he breaks off, turning a little in place so Dean can see half of his face, “I was enjoying it.”

“Good,” Dean says with a little too much enthusiasm. “I - uh, me too.”

Cas blinks. “You were?” He frowns. “Grooming is… boring. A chore.”

“Not for humans,” Dean says as he picks up where he left off. “We don’t have big fancy wings to lug around everywhere. They’re-”

“What?” Cas waits, clearly expecting an answer.

Dean sighs. “Cool,” he supplies lamely. “Your wings are cool.”

Dean can’t see Cas’s face with his back turned, but his wings fluff up ever so slightly, so Dean counts it as a win. “I’m glad you think so,” Cas says quietly.

“’Course,” Dean says, easy as pie. He pulls on another feather, and, when it doesn’t come out, tucks it back into its proper place, “I’ve never seen an angel with wings like yours. Malachi’s got dark grey ones, and I thought they were your shade of black, but they’re not. Plus, he’s an asshole.”

Cas chuckles. “I don’t see how him being an asshole has anything to do with his wing color.”

“No, but, if you ever run into him - an angel with dark grey wings - now you know.”

“So you’re only looking out for me.”

“You don’t know this yet,” Dean tells him conspiratorially, “but I’m awesome.”

“Yes, I’m beginning to see that for myself.”

Thank God Cas can’t see Dean’s face. Equally embarrassed and pleased, Dean rambles, “You should also watch out for Metatron - the white-winged dude who runs the thrift shop down the road. He’s been angling to set up shop at the farmers market for fucking ever even though he has a storefront for all his crap. Whoever said white wings meant purity was full of shit because Metatron’s a douche.”

Cas laughs, and Dean nearly slumps over in relief.

He can still make Cas laugh.

“Hannah, she’s okay,” Dean continues as he combs through the rest of Cas’s secondaries and coverts before he gets to the primaries, large and built for flight, and completely within Cas’s reach to groom himself. “But her partner, Duma, hates you for some reason, so I’d steer clear of her.”

Cas’s wings dip a few inches. “It doesn’t sound like I’m on good terms with many angels.”

Dean lightly runs his palm over Cas’s flight feathers - while he’s back here, he might as well. “I guess not,” he admits because Cas is right, “but they’ve all got massive sticks up their asses, so you’re better off.”

“They’re family.”

“They’re dicks,” Dean corrects. “Come on, you’re goddamn cursed with amnesia , and not one is here helping you out? Dick move for dick angels,” he finishes.

“Hannah visited.”

“Like I said, Hannah’s okay,” Dean says as he straightens up.

“At least you’re here,” Cas points out.

“Yeah,” Dean says bitterly as he brushes out bits of fluffy down near the base of Cas other wing, “After two weeks.”

“You said you didn’t know.”

“I should’ve.”

“How?” Cas asks, sounding baffled.

Dean scoffs as he cards his fingers through the shorter feathers near the bone of Cas’s wing, “You didn’t show at the farmers market. You always show.”

“But-”

Dean shakes his head. “I should’ve known something was up.” He yanks a little too hard on a feather, and the brittle shaft breaks between his thumb and pointer finger. Dean lets it fall to the floor in disgust. “But Hannah said you were sick, and I didn’t know if you were the type who wanted company or everyone to stay the hell away. And then I talked to Sammy, and he said angels don’t really get sick like we do.” He exhales a slow breath, consciously holding himself back from tearing any more feathers out. Cas doesn’t deserve that, especially after all the shit he’s dealing with.

“We do get sick,” Cas says, his voice breaking through Dean’s morose reminiscing of the past week, “But never with the type of illnesses that can be treated outside of Heaven.”

“That’s what Sammy told me,” Dean says heavily.

“You were worried?”

Dean pokes him in the muscular part of the wing. “Of course I was worried.”

Cas’s head tilts, but not enough that Dean can make out his expression. “Because we’re friends.”

Dean swallows. “Yeah,” he says quietly, “because we’re friends.” He tugs on a few more feathers, and one comes loose. He holds it between his fingers for a beat, rubbing his thumb along the vane. With a sigh, he moves onto Cas’s other flight feathers. He gives them a few long strokes, unable to help his smile as he feels at the power, the potential, all hidden in Cas’s wings. But, eventually, he has to straighten up.

“All done,” he says with forced cheer as Cas turns around to face him.

Cas blinks a few times like he’s coming out of a trance. “Thank you,” he says gruffly.

He spreads his wings.

Dean’s breath catches in his chest, and his awe must show all over face, judging by Cas’s barely-there smirk. But, dammit, Dean’s going to enjoy the sight. Cas never puts himself on display like this, preferring to play the nerdy beekeeper in a trench coat rather than an almighty Angel of the Lord.

Cas turns his head to inspect Dean’s work. He gives an experimental flap, sweeping all the old feathers littering the floor up into the air. “Thank you, Dean,” he says sincerely. He folds his wings back, and Dean’s heart aches for something he never had in the first place.

“Don’t - don’t mention it,” Dean chokes out.

A fluffy piece of down drifts down to settle on Cas’s nose. He goes cross-eyed to keep it in view.

Dean cracks up. Grinning, he reaches up to brush away the offending bit of down.

Cas catches his arm in an iron grip, his own face oddly intense.

“Cas?”

But before Dean can finish his sentence, Cas pulls him closer and seals their mouths together.

Dean lets out a muffled (completely manly) noise of surprise against Cas’s lips before muscle memory takes over. As Dean kisses back, Cas makes a light soothing rumble in the back of his throat, his touch gentle and warm. Dean’s other hand grasps desperately at Cas’s shirt, anchoring him in place. An electric, bubbly feeling is exploding in his chest, a wild kind of joy Dean normally would tamp down, tell himself, watch out for the other shoe to drop.

Other shoes like Cas’s missing memory.

Dean freezes, and it takes him a long moment to realize Cas isn’t moving either. His grip on Dean’s arm has gone slack. Dean opens his eyes to find Cas’s eyes wide open and glowing with an electric blue light.

Fuck.

Dean’s watched his fair share of angel-on-angel porn and more than his fair share of angel-on-human porn, and kissing’s not supposed to do that.

Dean takes a stumbling step back. “Cas?” he tries.

But Cas doesn’t move. He doesn’t give any sign he heard Dean at all.

Dean falls forward, tripping over his feet. He grips Cas, hard, by the shoulders. With his heart in his throat, he gives Cas a small shake. “Cas?” he tries again, and his voice sounds alien to his own ears, loud and breathy with his panic. He shakes him harder. “Cas!”

Several agonizing seconds pass, and the light slowly dims from behind Cas’s eyes, leaving behind his normal blue.

“Dean?”

Dean’s knees nearly give out with relief. “Hey,” he says weakly, “Nice to have you back, buddy.”

Cas blinks a few times. He swallows, a strange expression coming over his face.

“You okay?” Dean demands. “What the fuck was that?”

Cas stares at him. “That was the curse breaking.”

Read Part II here!

#profoundnet #angel castiel #beekeper castiel #farmer dean #fluff #wing grooming #amnesia #mutual pining #friends to lovers #rae writes fic

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nawaazishein · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on Sen Çal Kapımı bölüm 13: (Is it 13? I almost feel like Kerem because hatırlamıyorum.) My babies Serkan/Eda: I loved that they both finally confessed to their families and were pretty much like, “He/she is going to be part of my live and if you don’t accept it, byyyyyye.” as well as the “Sevgilim?” after. They had so many cute adorable scenes, from the “How are you real? Let’s elope.” to “I’ll be your breath whenever you want me to.” to “I already bought a house in Rome.” Special shoutout to the curtain commercial because we all know what happened that night 😏 , although they clowned us with that fragman again. What I didn’t like when I first watched it without subs was the jealousy and especially Serkan storming out after his argument with Eda. It was so unlike Serkan. However after watching with subs, I realized he wasn’t angry because he was jealous but because Eda didn’t believe he was serious about Italy. Him walking about still wasn’t a 100% Serkan but the supposed jealousy didn’t create as much of a problem as I initially thought it would. Hopefully they keep it that way. I hated the whole jealousy thing in EK and could do without here, tbh. Eda/the firm: So Eda doesn’t even have a bachelor’s degree? I’m sorry but even if she was about to finish her Master’s, her “rank” in the firm would be very questionable but with her not even having her undergrad, it’s so far-fetched. To a point, Serkan gave her those projects because he was taken with her, yes, but early robot!Serkan wouldn’t have let that interfere with his work to that extent. No distinguished architect with a firm worth millions would EVER give work this important to a student still working on her undergrad. I guess this is just one of the many architecture-related things I’ll have to accept for the sake of creative liberty and story telling. Serkan/Selin: I honestly wasn’t mad about their scenes. While she has done some shady shit, I think they might veeeeery slowly get back to a place of friendship, and I’d love that for the both of them. Serkan could use her support in work-related issues as well as what’s going to happen in his personal life. Serkan/Leyla: We got some more info about their relationship and it honestly made me tear up. He paid for her operation, her sister’s education and constantly checked on her during that time. Serkan Bolat has such a tender heart, it continues to surprise and amaze me. He said that Eda made him a better person but I’m gonna be the cheeseball that says he’s always been a really good person, he just kept it a secret. Same with his donation to the orphanage. Ask me again why I am so soft for this boy and I’ll give you a 30 pages long essay! Ferit: Can my dude just shut up for once? Why does he wear his heart on his sleeve and literally tell anyone everything?! Efe: He said he was made to buy the shares by someone – grandma? Ayfer/Aydan: Listen, I have been defending them both for the longest time. They’re both very protective of their children and they both only try to keep them from the heartbreak they know lies ahead. They’re not wrong in that and I understand their intentions... buhuuuut they’re overdoing it a little. I’m not saying “Overprotective mothers are so not 2020” like a lot of people on twitter because that’s bs imo, but the two of them could definitely reel it back in a little. Melo/Selin: Oh Melo, I love her so much! She’s so soft and I wanna wrap her in a hug and never let go. Selin almost doesn’t deserve Melo being so nice to her because of Eda’s backstory with her, but then again I love how Melo doesn’t let that cloud her judgement and gives her the support she needs. Melo is the best. I said what I said. Editing: The editing felt kinda sloppy, ngl, especially the end. From Serkan to just leaving Eda like that, which again was unlike him, to the random jump to their first night – although I loved the fact that we know they had their first night - to Alptekin spilling the beans... it felt pieced together. However, I suppose it was the best they could do considering the shooting and working conditions during the week they shot it. The last scene: Oh, the goddamn last scene that ripped my heart out, stomped on it, ran it over with a truck and then threw it in the trash. So, on the one hand I understand that Alptekin told Serkan in an attempt to salvage whatever is left of their father/son relationship by being honest with him. He didn’t want to hide this very important piece of information from him when it concerned what, or more like who has become the most important part of his life in such a short amount of time, I get that and to a point I agree with it. Honesty has to be a given in any family or relationship. On the other hand I’m like, why now? He didn’t really get involved in anything regarding his son’s life in the last 19 years, so why now? Alptekin had “no issue” hiding this secret from the world for so long and the likelihood of it coming out now just because Serkan is in a relationship with Eda is questionable, so why? He claims he wants the best for Serkan but there’s also some selfishness in involved in telling him. Alptekin wants to unburden himself from this ugly truth he’s been hiding, to get it off his chest because with Eda around it’s to much for him now. It was ok for 19 years but now it’s too much. As a result, his son now has to carry it around with him. He was allowed to be happy for all of two days and and now this weight is so much bigger than the weight that had seemingly been lifted off his chest by confessing to Eda. I know he’s going to blame himself for this somehow and distance himself from her, and I am already in pain just from thinking about how that is going to play out. With Eda saying, “Sometimes love isn’t enough” we’ve gotten some very obvious foreshadowing and I think that he will convince himself that he and his family are no good for her and no matter how much he loves her, it’s not enough to make up for that. God, it actually really hurts to just think about that. (Also, with the amount of times we’ve heard “I can’t live without you,” I’m speculating about what Serkan’s state will look like after the separation. Shots are on me if I hear something along the lines of, “Ever since Eda/you left, he’s stopped living. He is alive but he is not living his life at all.” after their separation.) Anyway, lastly I’m going to say that it felt like Kerem didn’t know what to do with his hands during this scene but I think it was probably just to show how Serkan doesn’t fully comprehend what just happened yet or how to react to this information AT ALL. The “rest” of Kerem’s acting in this scene, the small nuiances from realizing to absolute horror and then devastation killed me. Chapeau for that, Kerem Bey!

#otp: duygularımız karşılıklı #sen çal kapımı #sck #kat watches sck #sen cal kapimi

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steve0discusses · 3 years

Text

Yugioh Ep33 S4 pt 1: Deus Ex US Military

Been a little distracted but was reminded--yo--I gotta finish S4 of Yugioh this year. I think I can do it. There’s like...what...two episodes left? Three? Like I don’t want to tempt 2020, but like...I think I can finish this thing.

That and a bunch of my Photoshop files corrupted, I don’t know why, I’m very scared for my hard drive, and I need to do a big ol defrag and hope that’s enough. Really hoping this is my bad and not my computer’s bad. I’m pretty hard on this computer when I paint digitally.

and I was immediately gifted by the anime gods because yo, it’s my favorite storyboarder! They're back to carry me through my election burn out, every episode they touch has so much style and no matter how freakin weird or confusing the plot is, this storyboarder/animation team doesn’t seem to care. They will this kids show about cards with this attention to detail. They just have a lot of enthusiasm and that’s a thing about anime that I really like to see. No matter how weird it is, you gotta go 150% without any shame. Love it. Love to see em back.

First off, that earthquake from last episode?

Just a little bigger of an earthquake than I originally thought, coincidentally, this is when Roland shows up, only to realize that he’s like...10 minutes to late.

Well, maybe a little longer than 10 minutes when you consider that Mai freakin died and Yugi almost died, and Joey is absolutely dead and being carried across Tristan’s back.

Anyway, Roland just walked into a whole lot and is just trying to process his life. Roland is all of us in October/November of 2020.

If Roland only knew how many times Seto and Mokuba have totally biffed it when he wasn’t looking.

Like for reals...how is Roland still alive? Like...I don’t think the guy has ever died. Not even once. Maybe that’s Roland’s superpower as the secret FourthKaiba, by just being the only one to stay very far away from the constant BS strewn at this family.

Roland is just...too inept to die. He’s always too far away, he comes after the big bad has already murdered a few people, he’s just...too bad at his job to ever be a target. Live long, Roland. The Kaiba who was the smartest of all by actually being the dumbest.

Also, look at him parking far enough away on the actual helicopter landing pad. He is the only ‘Kaiba’ that follows the law. This could also be the other reason for his secret to longevity.

(read more under the cut)

Faced with a stairwell between their freedom and this weird earthquake chasm that just opened on the top story of this building, Yami decides it’s his job to carry...................

...................Raphael.

(Never forget that we know the exactly weight of Yugi Muto.)

And like Yami is weirdly strong because of magic powers but like...maybe Yami should take Joey and then Tristan should pick up Raphael? I’d say Tea could also pick up Raphael, but I feel like she just wouldn’t want to.

TBQH maybe the reason that Yami is carrying Raphael is because literally no one else feels like it? Like no one likes this guy?

Just kinda feels like Yami is holding onto Raphael out of a sunk-cost fallacy. He’s already done so much work to this guy, can’t lose him now. Gotta save Raphael to make up for killing Gurimo, Weevil, and Yugi. Can’t fail a fourth time.

Anyway, you know what else this storyboarder is good at?

How did they even get reference for drawing this? They didn’t, right? They’re just so good at art that they were like “I can draw ANY person in ANY outfit straight up the crotch, I dare you.”

Seto decides to...not help out, much like virtually all of Yami’s other friends, who also just kinda...yelled and cried at this situation instead of...helping.

Which is fine, because the stairwell gave out and then Raphael decided to uhhhh throw this directly at me.

Just one more yeet for the road. Youknow this guy has yeeted the Pharaoh not once but twice in one season, and both times he just chucked him like he was made out of foam core. (Also, please admire the millennium puzzle in this shot going out at like a 90 degree angle. Just...A+, this storyboarder is hilarious)

At first, I really thought Yami was dabbing his way over that ledge.

In a moody shot with his hair and his jacket swaying in the breeze, almost designed for you to lift and stick into your Youtube AMVs, Seto looked onward and seemed...kind of bored because no one’s throwing any cards. And like who can blame him, he has been on the top of so many ledges and so many buildings that he’s seen Yami make this same speech of “DON’T DO THIS DAMN LEDGE THING I SWEAR TO GODS” like...so many times.

He just immediately accepts Yugi died and is like “Well I guess that makes me king of games.”

And Raphael, after like several minutes of begging Yami to just let him die, decides to let go of that ledge on his own, because this is Yugioh, and you gotta fit in that suicide within the first 10 minutes of the episode. Which, PS, is not the weirdest thing that happened this episode.

And because Roland is freakin late to everything, he showed he could have done this the entire time. Honestly I think Roland just didn’t want to deal with Raphael. We can blame this on Roland, right?

PS we never see this building again in this episode.

I don’t know........why they bothered showing this. If anything it makes the next plot twist more weird because it’s like...what was the point of the random ass earthquake and the random ass concept art building if we, in fact, aren’t coming back here???

I mean I guess it’s a nice shot for your Artstation portfolio, good on you, Yugioh background artist.

Unfortunately this chip contains Seto Kaiba’s greatest weakness. (SanDisk card? Jump drive? Which PS--if they had jump drives this whole time, why was Seto using floppies earlier in the season? Like what happened there?)

And then, with the hatch of their helicopter just wide open, no one in a seat belt, and walking away from the destruction of one of the largest buildings in San Fransisco, finally the cops showed up. Real cops this time, not possessed cops. Also, it’s the Marines.

Am I going to get my Monty Python ending? I mean...if cops can recognize these kids in this universe...I might get my Monty Python ending. :) :) :)

For some reason, back on the mean streets of San Fransisco with no people left alive in it, Rebecca just kinda started losing her mind. Maybe this was to make up for the 2 seasons I had to watch Duke Devlin flirt with a 12 yo? That now we have to suffer Duke saddled with this small crazy person?

This small crazy person who is painted as this intolerable person next to Duke Devlin, but is also a love interest for the main character? Like Yugi’s into some weird ass angry girls.

PS the orcs were no longer needed for the plot so they have turned into streams of light in order to join with the Leviathan mass. So now Rebecca and Duke Devlin will just have literally nothing to do for the rest of the season. I guess they can go to Ghiradelli square...someone’s gotta eat that ice cream before it melts.

Also this happened.

In case you were like “Wow Rach, you didn’t update the Death Count, how dare you”--it’s because I uh...completely forgot that the Oricalchos crew is immune to fall damage. Raphael’s just fine now. He fell down 50 stories...and then 50 stories fell on him...but don’t think about it.

Meanwhile, on the back of some aircraft carrier, far into international waters, the kids get recruited into the military of a foreign country and it’s just as weird as you think it is.

Hey guys.

So, Bandit Keith was weirdly in Hell this season for no reason, right? What if he died offscreen because, earlier in the season, the US military threw him at Dartz because they couldn’t get a hold of Yugi or Kaiba? What about that headcanon? What if that’s why his angry ghost wanted revenge?

Anyway, they join the ranks of Shadow T. Hedgehog, which makes sense because...these guys look like human OC’s of Shadow the hedgehog already.

Sorry I just had a moment because Shadow uses guns a lot despite not needing them at all so “people won’t get uncomfortable with how powerful he is” while in Yugioh they can’t even...show a gun. That really is...you ever think about how weird that is? That Shadow the Hedgehog, a strange remix of a 90′s sega mascot, has a million giant guns but Kaiba’s actual gun (which, apparently he does have in the Japanese version of this show) got edited out completely?

Sometimes it just dawns on me and I have a moment.

Now the US Military just hand delivering them to Dartz is so wild because their reason for the USA not doing anything on their own with their fleets and fleets of ships is:

Have you MET the US? I live here, and if we were like given the choice to shoot the ocean...or just die...we’d be like “wait...for reals? So no one gets hurt, we just shoot guns at the water? You mean we finally found our true calling? For REALS? I just shoot this water bucket!??? FOR REALS????” and it would become a national holiday. All pop songs would be devoted to it. Our ancestors would make movies about it.

I mean, our dumbass president considered nuking a hurricane in 2019...in case you forgot because damn, it’s been a STUPID 4 YEARS. (And you better have voted already because for reals do not make me go through 4 more years of this. I do not think this blog would survive it...or the hurricanes that will keep getting nuked.)

Also....the show actually threw the word “proof” out there. Seriously show? You OK?

I figured the mind control situation would be a better reason not to arrest Dartz other than “Dartz is just so good at covering up his tracks” when the TRACKS have a broken down Caltrain on one side of them, and the other side of the tracks have the rest of that same Caltrain at the bottom of a river.

Seto is not amused but he never is. He will take this Nobel Peace Prize and step up to the microphone at the UN and be like “I WANTED IT TO BE A CARDS PRIZE.”

PS--we HAVE a map already, right? Raphael died to give us this map--and then didn’t die, but it’s not like anyone else here knows that. So like...why did we need the US Military to show up at all? Why is this scene important? Other than to look cool, I guess? Like...

...why is the US military here we already have a Deus Ex Machina delivered by Raphael? At least that one was deserved--the whole point of that duel was to get this MAP.

A map that we are never going to use.

...There’s a good chance that two writers wrote this episode in two different buildings and just...glued the two halves together. Animation is wild. Weird ‘Cinema sins’ things like this happen...all the time. This one though, this one is kind of funny because it’s a ton of wasted effort on the very best storyboarder.

Anyway I broke this up into two segments because I’m tired, and also, while a lot of people like long posts, the smaller posts are kinda easier to read. More will be upcoming in like...I dunno it really depends on a lot of things right, now, I’ve been having a time, but at least Yugioh is always there to enjoy. Maybe I’ll need so much distraction you’ll get an update tomorrow? Good things can happen, and it’s not like I get to do anything else for Halloween.

Happy Halloween Y’all! Lets make the most of it!

(here’s a link to read these in chrono order)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

#ygo #yugioh #recap #photo recap #humor #seto kaiba #yami muto #yami #the military???#helicopter #roland #mokuba kaiba #tea gardner #tristan taylor #rebecca hawkins #duke devlin #Ep 33 #S4

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idk--words · 5 years

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TYRANT’S TOMB SPOILER ALERT

ok I tried my best to warn anyone that does not want any spoiler on the book so read at your own risk..... I just finished the book and I literally NEED to share my thoughts so here goes:

first of all, what the fuck. I tend not to shit too much on author’s work in general unless it’s ultimate bs, because I know how much efforts it takes to create. Don’t get me wrong though, I liked the book. I wouldn’t say I loved it, but it’s not terrible you know.

I kind of get why Reyna felt the need to be free and remove the weight of being praetor off her shoulders. I do think that yes Camp Jupiter is lowkey doomed without her leadership, they won’t be as great like no offense to Frank and Hazel. They’re otp but they don’t command as much authority as Reyna would. She’s been through so much and she’s been praetor for so long. She is powerful AND knowledgeable. Frank and Hazel were legit newbies until HOO and they have a lot to learn. Even Percy, it took him 5 years to learn to be more mature and experienced.

I just don’t get the whole “no mortal or demigod shall ever heal your heart” thing like WHAT EVEN IS THE CURSE. I’m hella confused. WHY is this happening to her in the first place? Anyways, hope Reyna finds who she wants to be and some relief in life.

What I really didn’t like was that Rick didn’t give that much of a role to Reyna in all of this? As the daughter of Bellona, we never really got to see her in true action. Like is it me or did we never see her truly in action or in a single combat. Like yes she did fight off a few ravens and stuff, but where was that one-on-one epic combat that all heroes get? She’s literally the daughter of the war goddess and all we saw in her powers was sharing strength like ouuuhh big deal. seen that already. She was part of the prophecy to “open the door to the soundless god” and it made it sound epic but all she did was amplify Apollo’s power.

I honestly think we should have seen her grieve more for Jason. They literally grew up together in a way and she should have been the one to avenge him instead of Zhang. Like yeah, Frank and Jason were friends, quest comrades but even in HOO, they weren’t as close as the other crewmates were to each other respectively. They were certainly not as close as Reyna and Jason were to each other.

Thalia’s mourning was also pretty tragic that it was barely mentioned. Like I get that demigods/heroes die all the time in quests but hey that doesn’t stop any of their comrades to be fucking human and cry.

Lavinia is literally the most hilarious chick I ever seen. She’s random and impulsive and it’s hilarious that she’s a centurion bc she is so NOT made for that but anyways.

Dakota being dead is also random af like that came out of nowhere.

The sisterly love from Artemis/Diana was also random? Like I don’t doubt siblings love each other and all, but coming from gods whom the characterization made by Rick made it seem like they clearly don’t give a shit. so how does a thousand years old twin sibling suddenly miss her annoyingly egotistical brother.

I love the character development in Apollo. Like we can clearly see that he’s trying to be better and that he really understands suffering. I don’t doubt that he changed, but what I’m worried about is will he change back when he becomes a god? When you’re in power, it’s so easy to get lost. Like he said, he had been turned human once and when he became a god, he didn’t change. I don’t know if this time will be different. If he becomes a god, then he is immortal once again. He will never age and those adventures will seem like eons ago while the demigods will remember it as long as they live. It’s so easy to forget you know. I’m curious to see how it will play out in the last book.

Also random, but who the fuck is taking care of the sun god’s duties if there is no sun god at the moment lol

Theory for the last book:

I don’t know, it’s been a long ride you know for the PJO/HOO/TOA series. I’m not sure if Rick has any plans in continuing another series so if it happens that Tower of Nero is the last book ever, being back in Manhattan, I’m pretty sure it will involved Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson for one last awesome adventure.

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marielle-heller · 5 years

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I’ve been talking with Julie (@marsvronica) about Tim Murphy a lot and I just feel like I need to share our headcanons so here we go, some random ideas:

so I think that most people agree that adult Tim is a paleontologist--and I want to add professor, Dr. Tim Murphy, which is very sexy--and he is extremely passionate about it. despite his experiences in the park he hasn’t been deterred from loving dinosaurs, though he does much prefer them from afar (in both physical distance and time), as nature intended them. he loves this piece of the past, but all of his dealings with it tell him that it should be left in the past

because of this, he is absolutely opposed to the idea of Jurassic World. from the moment he first hears that they want to try again, he is just incredibly angry, like there is no way this is going to be a good thing. and Julie decided that because of this he actually ends up storming into Simon Masrani’s office (who initially anticipates that the arrival of John Hammond’s grandson will be a good thing) and just chews him the hell out, though Masrani won’t budge

Tim also finds out in this meeting that it was apparently his grandfather’s dying wish to make the park work and that just adds to his anger. pal is pissed

so speaking of, Tim is typically rather calm, but when he is angry, he will go the fuck off. he just flies into a rage, comprised mostly of yelling, but combining some over-gesticulating and stomping (even once knocking things off a desk), and it’s kind of incredible just the way he lays into people for being so IDIOTIC. he doesn’t swear much normally, but many a bad word is used

so also since he’s not in the films he may not know, but if he ever finds out that that bitch was trying to sell dinosaurs for soldiers and for entertainment? oh my god the rant would be legendary. like viral on youtube worthy. he would just fucking go at it, yelling until his voice is hoarse and he’s seeing red and he has to sit down and someone has to get him a glass of water, because oh my god when will we fucking learn that man cannot, and should not, try to control dinosaurs? like how many times?

Tim is tired

anyway, Tim is actually pretty surprised when Jurassic World opens and things go well. he even manages to relax after it’s been a few weeks and it seems like no one’s died. but he keeps pretty close tabs on the place, and being Hammond’s grandson gets him good intel--even if he and Masrani are not on speaking terms anymore--so the second he finds out they’re trying to engineer scarier dinosaurs, he just knows things are going to end badly

in fact, he tries to get another meeting, and manages one with park operations manager, Claire Dearing. despite trying to be as calm as he possibly can while freaking out, he is not able to convince her it is a terrible idea

so yes he sees the park’s collapse coming a mile away, and no, no one will listen to him, and yes he is so tired

when the park is evacuated and the dinosaurs are left to populate the island without human interference, he feels like it’s absolutely the best case scenario. even when it turns out they’re going to be taken out by the volcano, he is staunchly against interference (not that anyone will listen to him). yes, he loves the dinosaurs (especially the herbivores who technically have done no wrong) but they were never meant to be alive and all they’ve ever caused is chaos and this is literally a solution to that problem but no one sees that

also, at the end of that whole debacle with the dinosaurs now just roaming free in America?? and some of them are the violent kind??? oh my god the boy is pissed. like he did not survive the park just for this bs. he literally refuses to die in a dinosaur attack 30 years later because someone couldn’t get it through their thick skull after the first time that this was a bad idea

getting into some slightly more relaxed ideas:

I do feel like he’s generally a calm dude. but an enduring quality from his youth is that he is incredibly talkative, and has a great tendency to cling to people whose work he admires, or that he’s just met but sound super fascinating. he’s just very lively and passionate and loves to talk to people! it does still scare some people away at first, but it’s endearing enough that he tends to grow on people

Julie- as passionate as he is about his own work, he's also definitely the kind of guy who encourages other people to talk about stuff they’re passionate about (ooh especially his students and they love him for it), which comes from the fact that he kinda knows what it feels like to not bring up interests when you know people will just give you grief for it. so he’s always trying to bring out the passion in others and it just really makes him the kindest guy

like he’ll go to a friend’s party and he’ll meet some new people and he’ll be trying to get them to tell him all about what they care most about in the world and it’s just so cute

this especially applies if he meets a child. he will listen to them talk for ages, and will tell them that they can absolutely achieve their dreams and they just have to commit to whatever they care about and it will happen

this makes him incredible with kids, and especially I can see him being the world’s most amazing uncle when Lex has children. like those babies are getting the most affection and love and encouragement, they are gonna grow up to rule the world

(also, he’s really good at playing with the kids and like, just getting down on their level and joining them with the toys and it’s just iconic)

so Julie added that Tim is partly this way because he remembers being the kid obsessed with dinosaurs that everybody got tired of hearing from, or else that they only wanted to know about what he went through on the island, so now he's like "just tell me whatever you want to talk about, whatever you care about, I wanna hear all about it"

and to go off of that, people would totally hound him about the island and I feel like he’d just get so annoyed. cause like, the first few times, especially relaying it to people he knows, fine. maybe a bit taxing, emotionally, but it’s still not worn-out in his mind, and this is his family, and his closest friends, so it’s whatever. but when it’s always the first question a new person asks, he gets so tired he just does not want to discuss it

also, sometimes people don’t know who he is but they ask about the scars on his palms or his eyebrow (I can’t imagine it ever healed back to normal, or that the hair came back, so he’s just got a cool scar in lieu of the majority of it and it makes him look kinda badass even though he’s really just a soft nerd) and unless he really likes the person, he tends to come up with a ridiculous excuse to throw them off because it’s so much easier than opening up the whole Jurassic Park can of worms (which is interesting if he later comes to like the person and ends up telling them the truth at some point)

but I feel like sometimes when he’s extra annoyed with the question of what it was like, he’ll just kind of be like “well, there was a t-rex, and fun fact about them...” and then launch into like a 30 minute spiel of all the facts he knows cause it’s a loophole to A. avoid the question, and hopefully convince the person it’s not worth asking again and B. put his focus into gushing about what he loves which is much better for him

J- just like “you thought you were gonna learn about Jurassic Park but joke’s on you here's everything you need to know about dinosaurs from a paleontologist’s perspective”

and yeah he’s the most encouraging person most people know and everyone loves that about him, which also thankfully means that he’s able to start to amass a reputation for being like everyone’s personal cheerleader rather than Jurassic Park boy, which he really appreciates. especially the first time he’s intro’d to someone new and it’s not like “this is Tim, he’s John Hammond’s grandson” or “this is Tim, he was one of the few people who got to see the original Jurassic Park” and instead just “this is Tim and he’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet, you’ll love him” like big 💖 energy

this also happens a bit with his academic work, that he reaches a certain point and he’s finally known more for his research than his family/experience. but unfortunately he is still an academic in a field of people obsessed with dinosaurs, so the topic does come up pretty easily and people do point him out

speaking of, the first time another paleontologist trashes Jurassic World in his presence, someone quickly points out who he is, and the person is in the midst of saying “oh my god I’m so sorry” when he cuts them off with a simple gesture and is like “no it’s okay, I absolutely agree”

after that, most of colleagues know that he will not only participate in, but also sometimes lead the trashtalk, and it’s a fun time, though every once in a while if there are a few new people around, the same scene of realizing who he is and apologizing will play out

one time it happens when he’s a bit tipsy and he’s just kind of a lot less filtered and it comes out more “no it’s okay, fuck that place”, and it’s very non-malicious, but no one’s ever heard him swear when he wasn’t angry so everyone’s kinda looking at him for a few seconds worried he’s about to get pissed about the park again, but then he’s like “um... okay, come on let’s dance” and that’s how his colleagues know that they have given him too much alcohol (at Julie’s suggestion, it was only like 2 glasses (maybe even less), the boy is a light-weight)

also if you thought sober Tim liked to ramble about dinosaurs, just wait till you meet drunk Tim? he’s basically the same, but just a lot more stream-of-consciousness in a way where he doesn’t make any sense but he’s always like “ya know?” and you feel obligated to be like “yeah, I sure do”

and he also likes to make dinosaur jokes. and dance. he’s already got quite a bit of energy when sober and when he’s drunk it just all leaks out in dancing

also one final thing but a few ideas on scars:

so obviously he has quite a few, but as cool as the eyebrow is, I really wanna focus on his palms

I’m imagining them like white patches on his hands, softer, more sensitive skin, that branch out into sharp spindly lines running up his wrist? he thinks they look kind of cool, but they’re definitely a magnet for unwanted attention

sometimes they tingle a bit during a thunderstorm, and times like those he finds it a bit harder to work with his hands

similarly, if he’s been writing for too long, either with a pen or typing, they tend to ache quite a bit, so he’s forced to break more often than he’d like. he tries not to let them slow him down, but occasionally they get to him

especially when he’s working on his thesis (which, sidenote, I don’t know a thing about theses, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that his definitely had to do with the technological breakthroughs that allowed the dinosaurs to be brought back to life, as well as the inaccuracies (due to the missing DNA and a desire to make them scarier rather than realistic), and how they can have a severely negative impact since they were meant to be extinct), they can really frustrate him, but he just tries to take deep breaths, go do something simple for a while like watch TV, and eventually he’s able to get back to it. but seriously, some days when he’s in the flow and he does not want to break it, he either has to fight past the pain (which is going to leave him hurting for longer), or sacrifice that train of thought, and he just gets so frustrated sometimes

his students can usually tell when the scars are bothering him while he’s trying to write at the board. he’ll start to get a bit restless about it, moving around the room more in between writing his notes. in response, they tend to try raising their hands more, asking simple but distracting questions so he has a bit of time away from writing

when he first realizes what they’re doing he’s so appreciative he almost starts crying. he loves these kids and they love him and it’s so sweet

okay I know I said final thing but just one more and then I am finished

Julie and I talked about this a while ago so I can no longer remember who said what, but Tim absolutely has a Jurassic Park shirt

it was given to him by his grandpa a bit before the trip to get the kids really excited

unfortunately there was an order error and the only shirts that came in time were adult large, so Tim didn’t exactly fit into it

that’s fine with him though, and he basically wears it as a night-gown for the whole week leading up to the trip

afterwards, he feels a bit weird about it, and doesn’t really wear it until years later, after his grandpa’s died, when he finds it buried in his closet as he’s packing up to move out for school

he starts wearing it again to bed some nights. he likes to wear it when he really misses his grandpa. despite mixed feelings on the park itself, Tim feels close to his grandfather in that way

by now he’s grown into it, and it’s just the exact perfect fit for him, a little loose, but so well worn in and soft that it’s just absolutely perfect for him 🥰

I think that might actually be it. I love Timothy Murphy so much, this is a PSA

#tim murphy #jurassic park #joe mazzello #long post #nicole watches jurassic park #sorry it's so long?

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spectraling · 5 years

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My problems with S3

Salty rant in no particular order below the cut

What the HELL happened to the Byers? They went from being the emotional heart of the show to literally having one brief scene together in ep1 and then Will and Joyce had a hug by the end of ep8, which btw Jonathan DIDN’T EVEN JOIN IN ON??? He was literally in the background in that scene, are you trying to tell me my boy Jonathan Byers would not come out to hug his family after all that shit they just went through???? Jonathan and Will spent like what, four episodes standing next to each other and they barely even exchanged a single line?? Not a comforting touch, a hug, anything??

The Byers’ financial situation and how that could’ve given them some interaction, weight to Joyce’s desire to move and also the Byers talking about that AT ALL was lying right there for the taking. Joyce and Jonathan both had obvious concerns about losing their jobs

Joyce got to spend time doing something else than worrying about Will this season which was nice (instead running after manchild Hopper, great), but where are the repercussions of that? With the growing up theme I was hoping for Joyce to start to look into herself, about letting go and who she is when she’s not a mom

Jonathan was once again reduced to being Nancy’s sidekick, spending most of his time following her around and standing next to her while she drove the plot forward with a vengeance. He spent most of his time in the beginning being an abrasive grump and his pov was barely there with the lack of Byers fam content, which made his argument seem as weak as it did in s2. His scenes with Nancy hit the ground running, were rushed and few and far between. As soon as Jonathan was not by Nancy’s side he disappeared entirely from the plot until she called on him again. He didn’t have one single scene without her

Nancy Wheeler would never, ever stoop so low as to mock Jonathan for a) his socioeconomic position and b) his trauma with his dad. A super ooc low blow. Nancy can obviously be ignorant about how economical strife affects others, but actively mocking him??? This is not the Nancy that approached Jonathan “the freak” in s1 and expressed her concerns despite the entire school side-eyeing her. At least Jonathan got to sass back at her later

Where was Nancy’s backstory that was hinted at before the season? Was hoping for her to get some development OUTSIDE of her rallying to save the world 24/7

Will starts out the season having a semblance of an interesting, very relatable arc (abandonment issues, afraid of growing up, done with The Straights) that then goes nowhere in lieu of The Plot and Will just... doesn’t have a lot of beef with the MF. This thing and the other monsters of the UD fucked him for life, let him have something badass to do like I dunno, give him powers you cowards, let him fight the MF you cowards

Also let Will talk to his family about his issues, or have it be a point that Jonathan is now busy with Nancy and how he misses him. Jonathan being somewhat conflicted about spending all this time outside his family and the potential guilt and effect that has on him. Will destroyed Castle Byers that he and Jonathan built together, where the hell were my brotherly feels???

There was a lot of talk about “new pairings” with the characters, but everything felt very same-y. Jopper goes off on their own, jancy does the same thing, El and Mike have a ton of screentime devoted to just them, Steve and Dustin amped up their bromance to eleven, etc. Even when characters that usually aren’t grouped together were in the same scenes, they barely got anything to say or do (Lucas being said to “become closer with Jancy” was a flat out lie or referred to literally physically standing next to them). Where was Nancy and Joyce solidarity, El and Will siblings, Mike and Nancy bonding over their family falling apart, Jonathan and literally anyone but Nancy?

Villain focus completely shifted from the US government to the spoopy, evil Russians with their spoopy language. Stereotypical, tacky and bland af. Being American is Great and in no way problematic! Go patriotism/capitalism!

The abundance of action and cgi. Omg all of the action sequences. It felt like 70% of the season was spent on El throwing shit around with her powers and Hopper fighting Russian dudes. I remember being halfway through the season and thinking they really should’ve slowed down the plot. But that’s an issue with too little time for too many characters. I had no time to bond with any of the characters I liked since the plots were So Big and So Many that they ate up every opportunity for emotional intimacy and reflection. We had time for a goddamn ad for coke but not for the Byers to interact like once???

Also the whole infection/MF working in the shadows thing? Completely wasted potential. It was set up to induce paranoia in the characters and the MF tricking, playing with and torturing them, people not knowing who to trust which could’ve lead to some really compelling scenes. Nope, it’s just a big meaty version of the MF and now it’s running around town trying to fuck El up while nobody conveniently notices and tons of people died but who cares

Robin was shoehorned into the plot and magically had all the skills it took to figure out the code, could decipher Russian with no previous knowledge (the languages she listed as knowing are not at all related to Russian and why tf does she know so many languages??). At least she slapped Stobin in the face and gave us some actual LGBT rep since the doofuses are hellbent on beating around the bush with Will infinitely

Erica was 100% SASS and nothing else. It got old really quick

The entire plotline with Steve/Dustin/Erica/Robin took up about 60% of screentime with memes and sassy jokes and provided about 5% of relevance in the grand scheme of the plot. Everything they found out in the Russian facility could’ve been relayed by the Russian guy Jopper kidnapped

Which btw, why did a random Russian dude take up that much screentime? He had way more emotional development than 80% of the core cast. Also did we need that much Murray?

Speaking of, I did not need Murray doing his creepy, invasive psycho analysis thing on Jopper like he did Jancy last season. It was terrible and lazy writing then and it’s terrible and lazy now

Steve complaining about popularity “not being that great really” made me want to punch him in the face even more than usual. Nobody gives two shits about a rich white boy who got everything he pointed at, all the popularity and more girls than he could count at school while stomping on the outcasts

Also didn’t need that jab at Nancy in his heartfelt scene with Robin (which was funny bc Robin has a lot of similar traits to Nancy)

Karen and Billy was gross, but at least Karen stopped herself to go back to her unfulfilling but legally sound marriage. No need to rock that boat unnecessarily! A completely mediocre man is just fine for her I guess. At least she got a kickass scene with Nancy

Why in the fucking world did Billy get as much screentime as he did. Why on earth did this asshat, racist abuser get some bs sob story about his awful childhood when we have 47 other, way more sympathetic and interesting characters that could’ve been explored instead. And then he did some stupid “grand heroic sacrifice”. I cried more when the Russian dude died

Max was a victim of Billy’s abuse for years which was completely undermined by her ooc constant concern for him and overblown grief at his death

El being oh so concerned about Billy when she knew he was the asshole who had abused his friends Max and Lucas (and beat up Steve) before felt really insincere

Hopper was a huge, loud, violent jerk this season and I’m not having it. I felt sorry for Joyce having to put up with him and then he presumably died heroically (??? he’s obviously still alive guys) and I...didn’t really care? Was kind of on the Jopper train but have no hopes for it now. Where was their supposed “history” together that was hinted at before the season? It just felt like Hopper constantly acting like a huge, controlling manchild and Joyce having to pep/comfort/discipline him. No sense of back and forth support

What the fuck was that music number with Dustin and Suzie?? Omg cringe. I could feel how the characters all died inside

On the subject of music, they stole Jancy’s theme song and gave it to Steve and Robin and then Mileven. Mileven also stole Jancy’s “I love you”, which was clearly hinted from the name of the song on the soundtrack titled “The first I love you”, which is literally a rehash of their theme “The first lie” in s2. A huge slap in the face to end the season with

#st3 spoilers #stranger things #stranger things 3 #I am a salty bitch rn :))))))#this is only my initial problems #I'm sure I'll think of more

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kuldren · 6 years

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Necklace | Jean x Reader

Note: It’s Monday and I’m supposed to upload a fic today but I’m stuck on the current request I’m writing (Krista/Historia x Tsundere Reader) so here’s an old (ish) fic from my deviant art that I no longer use (AnonymousAesthetic).

Enjoy? I hope it’s not too cringy

"Promise you'll be back to visit me again?" The two toned hair boy asked the small (H/c) haired girl as tears swelled up in both of their little eyes. "I promise." She replied, letting go of the little boys hand as she stepped into the carriage with the rest of her family. He watched as his friend rode off into the distance, praying to meet her once again. She was moving to the Shiganshina District, in Wall Maria as her family could no longer afford to live in side Wall Rose. The boy looked down at the necklace that hung loosely around his neck. It matched the girls, who also kept hers around her neck, not letting it out her sight. "You better keep that promise, (Y/n)." ~~~

She shook the memory out of her head. It's not like he would recognize her, let alone remember her. She tucked the necklace inside her shirt to look around at the other cadets, hoping to see a familiar face. He explained to her how he wanted to Join the Military Police when we was old enough, which she thought was a waste of training but supported him none the less. Her goal was to get to the Scouting Regiment, to protect Humanity and discover the answered to some of her questions about the world she was born into. Watching her Parents and siblings get eaten in front of her only added fuel to that fire. She was determine to do her best and become strong enough to avenge her parents and siblings, even if it meant risking her own life. 'He might have changed his mind.' She said to herself as she stood in formation. An intimidating, bold man soon interrupted her thoughts. She instantly saluted him, keeping the straightest face she possibly could. He walked through the crowd, calling upon random souls. Soon enough, she become one of the unfortunate souls to be called upon by the tall man.

"And you." He starts. His loud voice rang through her ears, causing her to squint her eyes a little as she tried to keep her straight face. "What might your name be maggot?" He stared down into her (E/c) eyes. "My names (Y/n) (L/n) from the Shiganshina District Sir!" She shouts back. "Shiganshina. Let me guess, you lost some?" He continues to stare down at her, showing no pity. "Yes" Was her short reply. Her voice soften a little as she tried to hold back the tears, threatening to spill out her eyes. Hearing this information, Keith nods and gives her a look that almost looked sympathetic. He continued to walk around, looking for his next victim to prey upon. A few rows back, a particular boy heard the name... (Y/n) (L/n). 'Could it really be her?' He asks himself, moving his hands slightly further to feel his necklace. The necklace he shares with his child hood friend was a thin golden chain with a golden bird as the pendant, complete with a bit of metal for an eye. He tried his best to catch a glimpse of the (Y/n) girl but failed to see even the back of her head. He eventually gave in and decided to try and find her later. Anyway, if she was really the (Y/n) he knew, he knew she wouldn't leave this early. ~~~

(Y/n) sat with her friends from her district in the mess hall, listening the Armin's lecture about 3Dm gear and how experts used to be rare. Her friend, Eren, zoned out of their little convocation and tuned into another. "And that's how you conserve fuel, let your momentum do the work for you." A male voiced to his friends. "Still, that's pretty advanced." The male shrugged at the comment and leaned onto the table. "Duh, it's called having a sixth sense for the fine point of your gear. You gotta do the strut if you wanna make the cut, the MP only recruit the best." He voiced in a cocky manner. "Ah, that would be amazing." Another man started. He had freckles that covered his face with short black hair. "Working within a stones throw if the king, no greater honour than that." He took a sip out of his drink. "Shut up Marco." The man slapped the boy, causing his drink to spill over his face. "We're not children you can drop the misty eye BS, honour doesn't have any damn part of it. You just wanna nice cushy job in the interior playing glorified..." "That's not true, that's not me at all!" he shouts back. "Listen to you guys." Eren interfered, Gaining (Y/n)’s attention. "Interior, five years ago this was part of it. "You gotta point to make friend? I'm right here." The male snaps at Eren.

'That guy. He looks familiar.' (Y/n) thinks to herself. "Poor Jean so misguided and besides, I don't think your head will fit in the interior anyway." 'Jean?!' She whisper/shouts. Causing both Armin and Mikasa to look at the woman, who was currently staring wide eyed at her food. Giggles filled the room as others heard Eren's 'little comment'. "Very funny." "Seems a little backwards to me. Fine tuning your titan killing skills so you'll never see one." "You rather I was good at getting killed? Thank you but I'll pass, better to play the system then get nawed on." Jeans little comment got Eren really pissed. "You Son of a Bitch!" Eren shouts as he stands up. "Bring it on you little bastard!" Jean shouts back as they head towards each other. "Eren please stop it!" Armin shouts. "Eren listen to Armin!" (Y/n) also shouts at his direction, but Eren wasn't having any of it. "Gentlemen please." Mikasa says Calmly as she takes Eren's arm off Jeans shirt. "You think you can judge me?!" Jean suddenly yells out of no where. "You rip my shirt you're dead!" "I don't give a damn about your shirt you piss me off!" "What are you crazy?!" Eren kicks Jean to the ground causing everyone to stop and stare at them. "Damn it!" Jean sits up and rubs the back of his head. "What the hell was that move?!"

"A little something I picked up this afternoon while you were busy with your thumb up your ass. You honestly believe the military police are the ticket to your good life? Your not a soldier, you're a joke." Silence filled the room. The door suddenly opened slightly to relive Keith. "Would someone care to the explain the ruckus I heard just now? I do hope everything is alright." Venom drips from his voice as both Jean and Eren move back to their seats. "Sasha passed some gass." Mikasa suddenly voices. Sasha gasps loudly as everyone tried to contain their laughter. (Y/n) fails miserably and bursts out with laughter. "Why am I not surprised." Sasha gasps again. "For the love of god learn some self control." Sasha kept tormenting Mikasa with Why's and 'how could you' as Mikasa didn't budge. (Y/n) finally recovered from her laughing fit, her eyes landing on Jean. He was still glaring at Eren as he returned his glare. "Poor little ol’ Jean-bo getting into trouble like old times hey?" She voice, Eren glares at her confused. "Jean-bo?" Eren questions. You sigh and took out the necklace, still hidden inside your shirt. Jeans eyes widen as Armin and Mikasa also join Eren, staring at you confused.

"(Yn)?" Jeans heart starts racing as he also reaches inside his shirt and takes out an identical necklace. Eren looks at both your necklaces, his eyes widen, as do the rest of your friends. "Wait wait wait, So you mean the guy you've been looking for, the childhood friend you’ve spoke of so highly, is him?!" Eren shouts, gaining everyone's attention once again. "Could you shut up!" She shouts. "Anyway, to answer your question, yes, Jean was my friend when I lived in wall rose. She smiles at Jean who returns the smile. "I-it's been while." "Yeah, you've lost weight!" She chuckles as she remembers the old chubby Jean. "Shut up" He snaps back, folding his arms and pouting the other direction. (Y/n) giggled. "You haven't changed one bit." Their conversation was cut short as a bell chimed, indicating them to go back to their dorms. "Hey, I'm sorry for getting of at a bad start. How about we start over?" Jean faces Eren as Eren sighs. "What ever." Eren nods and walks out.

"He's not always like that you know." (Y/n) says softly behind Jean. "You've got some interesting friends... Pretty opinionated if I do say." "I could say the same about you." She nudges his arm with her shoulder as they walk out the door. "So, how was life in wall Maria?" Jean questions as they walk outside into the crisp winter air. "It was going great, till... Well, you know." Her voice softens as the memory of her parents and siblings played in her head, tears swelling up in her eyes. "I'm guessing you lost someone?" He asks softly." "My whole family." Jean stops in his tracks. Her family were like a second family to him and he cared for them deeply. Hearing about their deaths really pissed him off, but he contained his anger and gave (Y/n) an apologetic look. "I-I'm sorry. I know we were like a second family to you." "You guys may have been a second family but they were your real family. Don't apologize to me, I should apologize to you. I-I'm so sorry for your loss." A tear rolls down his cheek, but he quickly wipes it away. "I've missed you Jean." A tear also rolls Down her cheek before pulling him into a tight hug. He stiffened at her touch, but melted into the hug. She had moved to Wall Maria the day after her 7th birthday. Within those few years she had changed a bit in appearance. Her hair was much longer/shorter and she had grown a bit to, but was still quite short. Jean even found her more attractive, but he's always been attracted to her. And as much as her appearance may have changed, her personality was still the same. She also found Jean looking quite different. For starters he had lost a lot of weight, much taller, but still looks like a horse none the less. His hair style hasn't changed either, which really didn't surprise her. Either way she still found him attractive also. The two stayed in their little hug for a bit before he pulled away. "I can't believe you still have that necklace after all this time. I was sure you would have forgotten about me." "How could I? You were my first friend. Plus I'm surprised you actually kept wearing the necklace." "I'm just full of surprises." He leaned forward, locking his lips with the smaller Cadet. Her eyes widen, but she slowly melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. They stayed in that position for a few more seconds before Jean pulled away, a deep Crimson visible on his cheeks. "I- uh. Sorry." "Don't be."

#jean x Reader #Jean Kirstein #aot #attack on Titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #fanfic #Jean fanfiction #Jean-bo #Jean was a cute child where can I buy one?#old fanfic #Jean

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chimaeracabra · 3 years

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Nick is so sweet. He called me about an hour ago and we talked for forty-three minutes. He cried a few times and kept talking about how he loves me. I think that’s very sweet, but I am kind of worried that he is too centered on me. I mentioned to him before that I think it’s important to still maintain a social life outside of one’s romantic partner, which he agreed with.

Nick’s father called Monday night to talk to him and told him he works too much. After his dad hung up, I told him that I agree with his father. I keep telling Nick that he doesn’t have to spend a buttload of money on me for me to be happy. But he told me on the phone a bit ago that he loves me and wants me to be happy which is why he likes to buy me things. I can’t figure out how to make it any clearer to him: he’s already doing what’s making me happy, actively showing me affection and caring about how I feel, showing up (which is something a lot of people fail to do in life in general), telling me he loves me, giving me massages, like…there’s very little more I need from him to feel like I am loved. He kept crying on the phone about how he loves me. I told him I hope that he’s okay.

I plan on seeing him again tomorrow. I spent Monday and Tuesday night with him this week. I just like spending time with someone who thinks the world of me and consistently shows me care.

I didn’t expect this, but my little sister has just tested positive for COVID. Now that is causing my mom to PANIC. She just made appointments to get COVID tests for my twin, herself, and myself. She told me I shouldn’t go to Nick’s until I know my results. On the one hand, that’s a good idea, but on the other, I’m certain my little sister got COVID in NY, not here. I feel that it’s unlikely any of us have it from HER because she left ten days ago and I really did not spend time with her while she was home for Thanksgiving. It takes 1-14 days to show symptoms, but people can be asymptomatic. Either way, my mom is getting on my last. Fucking. Nerve! About it! Watch me take this COVID test and come up fucking negative. I want to go to Nick’s tomorrow so I can see him do his virtual comedy show, for which he asked if he could use my laptop because his computer’s camera isn’t working anymore. I don’t want to miss that. I feel like I should be fine: I don’t interact with his roommates, I disinfect the sink, toilet, shower, door handles, and light switches before I shower, I have always washed my hands. I’m usually in Nick’s room when I am there.

I’m annoyed. I’m just going to go and expect to be able to quarantine at his place until I figure out if I am actually positive (if he’s okay with that but I’m sure he will be). That means I have to bring my weights. Sigh. I like being at Nick’s but I hate bringing my weights back and forth. I’ll do it though, if it means I can spend time with him.

I went to that parking office in Medford today to appeal this fuckass parking ticket I got (last Friday, both Nick and I got towed off his street for street cleaning on Friday morning). I’m SO annoyed about it. There is NO signage about that on his street whatsoever, but Medford just expects people to go to their city hall website and find out about it. So, over the weekend, I signed both mine and Nick’s phones up for city alerts about street cleaning. That way, this is unlikely to happen again.

On my way back from the place, I was walking and this random white guy said, “If you had come two minutes earlier, I would have had pizza for you.” And I said, “That’s okay, I’m lactose intolerant.” and then he asked me if that’s dairy or tomatoes, so I stopped walking and we were socially distanced chatting, and I told him I’m going to be a registered dietitian, he asked if I was from the area, yadda, yadda, yadda, and the guy said his mom can’t have the red sauce anymore that they usually order when they get pizza or pasta or something, and I told him allergies can develop...we parted ways when he said, “That’s Medford for you. Merry Christmas,” or something along those lines when I was explaining the ridiculous parking ticket BS. Lol. I thought he meant “Merry Christmas,” as in goodbye, so Is started to walk away, but then he said it again as if to say goodbye and we went our separate ways. Lol. I like when strangers are kind. It was just so random.

Pretty sure this cut in my belly button that I noticed a week ago is infected now. Sigh. I’m kinda scared. I think I’ll call my doctor tomorrow and see if I can have it looked at. My twin (4th year med student) said it looks like a small abscess or cut. That scares me.

I’m going to go make some soap. I’m annoyed. Thanks, mom.

#personal #love

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travellers-survivor-old-west · 4 years

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Episode 4: “Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where”- Austin

youtube

I kinda wish our tribe would lose just so I could see where the lines are tbh. Also I have a bad feeling that at a swap/merge our tribe is gonna be picked off because we’re going in with the most numbers and on a base level that’s dangerous; however, I do think it could be deeper than that because of the preconceived relationships and I’m looking forward to seeing who goes home tonight and where we go from here.

This round was a little wild for me. Austin has been my fave since the beginning and we finally created an alliance. We both liked eve so that was easy but we wanted one more person. This is where things got a little complicated. Him and eve both liked isaac but honestly i wasnt feeling isaac and love pat. But i didnt want to push too hard so we just went ahead with isaac.

BUT we also talked to pat and will have ANOTHER alliance with him (so austin, pat and me). SO basically im working with everyone right now except keaton. Im glad our tribe has been killing it because that means no TC wooo

We tribe swapped so that is fun. It's always interesting to have a switch up. I have still yet to be screwed by a tribe swap in my entire history of playing ORGs which is something I am happy with. This is one of the best iterations of a tribe I can think of actually. I can forge a closer bond with Xander and Dylan, because now if we lose I won't need to vote one of them out, they become my core 3. So, right after the swap I made an OG Malakoff chat with myself, Xander, and Dylan. I just wanted the immediacy to show that I was serious in wanting to stick to that, which I am. I have communicated several times that I want to work with Isaac, so ideally Austin will go in the event that we lose. I feel bad because he is a sweetheart, but he doesn't fit into my strategy, and if anyone understands game being game, he does.

I love my new tribe??? Not only is nick still here so that gives me a safety net, the sammy I like is here. Pat is here. No idea who eve is but that’s okay too. I’m loving this. Inb4 I get voted out next Bc they actually really fucking hate me :^). Byebye payton it was nice kinda knowing you? Hello ~hopefully~ friends <3

I forgot Austin has a date with Mary Jane daily so Im gonna have to cut him some slack.

Tribe swap....just what I didn't want to happen . I dont ha e my #1 ashley with me but at least I got issac here. Jared is on my tribe now too so that could go either way for me because he knows how I play the game. Gonna have to pull something out if my ass here .

This is for Alyssa you dumb ugly fat white bitch why you keep asking me for a confessional with trifling dirty white racist ass big fat bitch x Anyways. Made an alliance with Pat and Sammy! V excited to work with them but we’re snapping in immunity so, I don’t see why we would need to vote off Vi.... I mean someone at tribal! Hehe

Well....we got our last handed to us. I'm not happy going to tribal bc I feel I'll be the one going. I talk with jared and issac the most but I feel jared will stick with xander and dylan. Just gotta try to wiggle myself in some where.

I have been busy the past couple of days so this challenge being a endurance/speed comp was a struggle. And it looks like my team didn't do much. To help... It's fine we can get out one of these other two dead weights. Speaking of them. Im glad the swap merged me with two allies but the other two just suck to talk to... And that's coming from me .. Jess knows what I'm talking about. Anyways I don't want them here and want them gone. As for my allies. I like Jared a lot we are getting along and enjoying ourselves. He's definitely the one I trust most in this game and hopefully it gets me to merge where I can start phase 2 and hopefully get far. Dylan is fine .. he's offline a lot but he's from old tribe so like it helps.

Just finished the challenge, OH MY GOD i suck at trivia but thankfully sammy snapped and we won, thank u sammy love u so much!!! Still dont believe he is straight tho x IM JOKING PLS DONT KILL MEDFHNSJFDH

I hate confessions. That’s my confession for the round... jkjk. Eh there isn’t much to talk about now that it’s tribal time. I hope whoever from our og tribe stays safe but I forgot who is there so oops. Sammy killed it. I still call bs on the centipede question but oh well. It wouldn’t have changed the result. It would have just made the gap close by 1.

LOVE MY NEW TRIBE. So happy we swapped. I’m with actual love of my life ASHLEY!!! And Chloe is amazing too. Aidan popped off in the challenge. Keaton is Keaton. This is a good group and I’m glad they did rlly well in the challenge. I love this kind of thing but I wasn’t able to constantly be on my phone all weekend bc that’s rude :( so I’m glad it worked out. Hoping the tribe swap works out in our favor and Xander jared and Dylan stay together for the vote. Idk if Isaac and jared are friends??? I hope Isaac leaves because he knows I’m a ‘threat’ in games and because I think Ashley yelled at him once. Idk who Austin is but Ashley likes him. But idk how likely that is if Isaac and jared have a connection. As long as jared stays safe ifgaf who leaves.

Yowza. We got absolutely wrecked in the challlenge. I don't WANT to lose any challenges, but I believe in the long run I should be happy to take this L. As another way to show my loyalty, I decided to give my idol progress in the chat with Xander and Dylan. I noticed Dylan never reciprocated so that gives me 1 reason to be wary. Then, Dylan posted a very inappropriate joke in the tribe chat in reference to Survivor Thailand, and the word "rape" was used, so that was the 2nd thing to make me uneasy. At first, Dylan and Xander had no opinion on who to vote, so I voiced that I would like to vote Austin- then Dylan remembered who Isaac is and said "he can go." I eventually got things back on track to target Austin, but Dylan better be careful- it's 3 strikes and you're out with me. I have a good relationship with Isaac so I wouldn't be surprised to see Dylan go if we lose again.

Day 9 on the survivor tribe. My thoughts are about toes and only toes. They are consuming my entire day. I exist merely to think of toes.

Also Chloe...

Okay so I’m just gonna throw down some of my thoughts right now since I’ve been very quiet in confessionals. I fucking hate these small ass fucking tribes. It makes the thought of going to tribal terrifying because your odds of going home are increased. Since the swap ive actually really been enjoying my time, I really like my new tribe and I feel I can actually connect with these people better than on my first tribe. I am glad to actually have Aidan with me because he’s like THE person I want to work with from my og tribe, along with Vi. I still have my reservations on Nick even though I think he’s nice I can’t trust him as far as I could throw him. I really feel that the trivia challenge brought us closer together as a tribe since what’s a better bonding experience than yelling at Jess that she’s wrong 50 times in one day. I think we’re all collectively quite strong and I really hope that means we can slide past for a while without going to tribal.

Honestly i always forget what i confess from last time but i still think I’m in a good position in the game. However I really do not want to go to tribal because I don’t want to show my cards. Eve and Pat both want me to work with them so we have an alliance and then Vi and Nick approached me and want to work with me as well. This was completely surprising to me bc I felt as if I would just be an easy vote out if we were to go to tribal since I’m a lone wolf. However I’m in the middle and I feel somewhat powerful knowing that people want to keep me and want to work with me. Me and nick have had a rocky relationship in past games but i think he’s a great person. He’s just a wildcard. I love vi and i think she’s the sweetest person to have ever existed but my gut is telling me to work with pat and Eve atleast for the first vote. Hopefully I don’t have to make the decision but who knows. That’s all I have for now other than I think the idol system isn’t anything I keep getting zapped. I feel like a fly in a southern home...ZAP.

I couldn’t remember the day so I put 69. I hate this tribe with my whole heart and my whole bussy. Jared is the only one giving me any sort of shot at making it passed this round. Austin is a slime ball who will do anything to save his own skin, Xander is dead apparently, and Dylan has been tracking down places where famous people died. I feel like this is my own personal hell and while I’ve been assured that Austin is going home (which I wouldn’t be surprised was a lie) I still have to make a swap or a merge and with the clowns on this tribe being inactive and never talking about anything but Star Wars or not talking at all I don’t know how possible it is to win a goddamn challenge.

*insert Da'vonne pretends to be shoocked gif at a swap* Since it didn't happen at 16 I wasn't surprised too see it at 15 but I'm glad because three tribes provides for much more buffer. My initial reaction to my tribe was positive as I saw that I had Chloe and three new people in the mix. I'm not gonna lie that I was getting bored on my old tribe but I do hope that Nick is doing alright. He's one ally that I'd love to connect with again... Vi is alright too but I don't know how strong of a connection we fostered. First impressions of my new tribemates: Keaton - I heard he was fucking with my friend in another game so my guard was up but I tried and he seems aloof and random with his contributions but it makes sense since he's playing 4 games at once. Will probably work off of the others who contribute in challenges? We'll see. Ashley - Sweet and seems like a hard worker. Not too much of a read on her yet Owen - He seems nice and genuine but not much of a read from a game perspective yet. It seems the split is 2-2-1 on my tribe from previous tribes but I don't know how strict to tribal lines people are going to play but I can feel some aloofness with Keaton and Ashley is traveling so... that's that on that. If we were going to tribal I have no idea what the fuck would happen but I want to strengthen connections. Honestly I think we can make it to the merge without hitting an elimination but who knows. THANKFULLLLLLLY my ass had a lucky night on the railroads and jumped to spot number fifty and apparently found a STEAL A VOTE. This is what I DESERVE. Thank you Old West Gods for blessing me, the star, with this iconic power. I'm glad I have it in my back pocket and I'm not telling a fucking soul. If it needs to be used, it will be flaunted and I will pop shit. Hopefully I can save it for after merge but if I need to control a pre-merge vote just to get my way, I'm going to do it.

youtube

https://soundcloud.com/user-327042896/dylan-ep-2

#yeehaw

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sweetheart-minnie · 7 years

Photo

Summary: All about Minnie this time!!!!! :DD This is what I did today instead of replies and then I wonder why they build up on me xDD

Trigger Warnings: Death nothing descriptive at all though

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Minerva Marie Muysken

Nickname: Minnie. Everybody calls her that!!! Half of the time that’s just how Minnie introduces herself she hardly ever uses her actual name. Dodger calls her Mins.

Reason for name: Her mother was very into soap operas haha and the main lead in her favorite soap opera was named Minerva hence Minnie’s name

Birthday: February, 28th 1994

Age: Twenty-Three

Gender: Female

Place of birth: Swynlake, England

Places lived since: She has lived in London for about three years after the death of her parents because she was sent into the foster care system. She was then given to her Aunt who lives in Swynlake so she returned back.

Parents’ names, backgrounds, occupations: Melanie and Michael Muysken. Both parents are currently deceased. When they were alive though, Michael was a neurosurgeon and Melanie was an elementary teacher. Melanie and Michael met when Michael started off his residency in Spain. During that time he met Melanie when her mother had to come in for surgery in the hospital he was a resident for. It was history from there and then Michael brought Melanie over to Swynlake.

Number of siblings: None

Relationship with family (close? estranged?): Minnie’s parents are dead. :((( When they were alive though she had a very close relationship with them both!!!

Happiest memory: Her happiest memory would be when her mother would believe that she was this awesome opera singer and go about singing in the house. Minnie and her dad would always end up blocking their ears and hilariously laughing at Melanie.

Childhood trauma: Yeahh Minnie had a couple of these. For starters, Minnie was witnessed to her parents’ death. It was a car accident in where she had been the sole survivor and in being so she had to watch her parents die, even though she had tried her best to keep them alive (but she was only ten then). Then she had to live in the foster care system for a couple of year and for the icing on the cake she was legally given to her Aunt who was an angry alcoholic along with her husband.

Children of his/her own?: None

If so, relationship with their mother/father?: N/A

Age he/she gave birth/became a father: N/A

PHYSICAL

Height: 5’ 5”

Weight: 130 lbs

Build: Slim

Nationality: Spanish from her mother’s side who was born in Spain and English from her father’s side who was born in England.

Disabilities (physical or mental, including mental illnesses): None.

Complexion (freckles, acne, skin tone, birth marks): Minnie has this kind of like beautiful tannish type skin and doesn’t really suffer from acne. It isn’t even because she’s on top of her skin, like skin care wise, she really kind of isn’t haha she just got lucky it seems.

Distinguishing facial features: I’m not sure if this technically counts buttttt I’m going to say her hair!!!! Ughhh Minnie has such gorgeous haiiirrr!!!!! Her hair is very long and pretty thick so she has this volume of beautiful brown-black hair!!! So pretttyyy.

Hair color: Brown-Black

Usual hair style: For the most part, Minnie’s hair is always up. More times then not it’s up in the typical messy nurse-bun that for some reason ends up looking cute even though it’s a messy bun haha. Other times it’s a ponytail, but again it’s not this gorgeously intact pony tail, it’s this super swiftly done one that has random strands coming out for which, Minnie tends to tame with headbands. When she does go out though, she leaves it all gorgeously loose.

Eye color: Dark Brown

Glasses? Contacts?: None

Style of dress/typical outfit(s): Minnie is more of a comfort person when it comes to her style of dressing. Her clothing tends to be more on the simple side. She loves jeans, will happily place some on with a t-shirt and call it a day. She does love summer dresses too. Honestly, anything that makes her feel comfortable that’s what she likes. When she’s working though, she’s in scrubs so she’ll often be caught in that since she tends to work a lot.

Typical style of shoes: Anything that is flat!!! haha. Most of the time she’s in sneakers because of her job, but she loves flip-flops and sandals when she isn’t working and the weather is warm enough. She loves boots too, particularly her Uggs.

Health (is this person usually sick? or very resilient?): Minnie is pretty resilient. I think with working around the sick as much as she does it helped to strengthen her immune system. At the same time because she works nights and that screws the body up pretty badly she’s on top of taking vitamins and eating somewhat healthy so that it could make things easier for her.

Grooming (does she/he wear makeup? shower daily? wear only clean clothes? pluck her eyebrows?): When it comes to cleanliness Minnie is very clean. She like hand sanitizes every where she goes, and when she comes home from work in the morning she has this bin on the side of the door where she takes off her scrubs as she comes in and places it in there. All that is done so that she doesn’t bring in the germs from work and then she has to go take a shower hahaha. She isn’t hugely into make-up like at all and the most she really does is mascara and eye-liner. Sometimes lip stick.

Jewelry? Tattoos? Piercings?: The standard two piercings on her ears. Minnie does have her belly pierced as well. She currently doesn’t have any tattoos, but she wouldn’t be opposed to getting one in the future if she finds one she likes. When it comes to jewelry she just wears a necklace and stud earrings. With her line of work wearing gaudy type jewelry isn’t the best.

Accent?: A British accent.

Unique mannerisms/physical habits (bites nails, talks with hands, taps feet when restless): When Minnie is nervous she bites the inside of her cheek. Tell her anything super sweet, compliment her, or make her embarrassed she instantly blushes. When she gets worried for some reason she becomes physically abusive hahaha nothing super horrible she just hits the person for making her worried.

Athletic?: Ummm no not really. I mean she’s constantly on her feet for work and she works, over eight, twelve, even sometimes sixteen hour shifts. She also walks her cat, but other than that, that’s about as athletic as she really gets.

INTELLECT

Level of education (high school drop out, undergrad BA/BS, PhD, MD, etc.): Minnie has a Bachelor’s degree in Nursing. She got it from good ole Pride University. She knew what she wanted to be as soon as she enrolled. On top of her bachelor’s degree, she has gone through numerous certification programs so that she’s able to basically be floated to any unit available in the hospital.

Level of self esteem: Uhhh probably half and half between a low self- esteem and a good self-esteem. Minnie at times can get insecure, jump to conclusions, not think she’s as good and as pretty as she actually is. At the same time, she knows she’s a great nurse and actually likes herself, so it really is like half and half.

Gifts/talents: Minnie is an awesome baker!!!!! And a cook too she’s cooks really good. She can sing as well (I hc she has Selena Gomez’s voice hahaha), but not many know that about her as she doesn’t go publicly singing around.

Shortcomings: Let’s seeee she’s too nice. I know that doesn’t look like a short coming, but Minnie is the kind that will allow herself to get ran over if it means it benefits someone else. She would easily place herself last to help anyone and everybody. It’s hard for her to say no, because she always wants to be there for people, so often times people would abuse that sweetness.

Style of speech (loud, mumbler, articulate, etc.): Soft and light. She’s not exactly like very articulate with her speech, unless explaining a procedure at work, or a course of treatment.

“Left brain” or “right brain” thinker?: I feel like Minnie is a good mix of both. She’s not a crazy left brain person but she’s not a crazy right brain person either.

Artistic?: Nope. Haha

Mathematical?: Yes! She kind of has to be good with her math skills since she’s constantly converting and calculating to get the correct dose in medications.

Languages? Just Spanish because her mom taught her how to speak it when she was young.

Makes decisions based mostly on emotions, or on logic?: Emotions. Definitely emotions. She can get insecure and overthink things and then she ends up acting on that. At work though, she leans more on logic depending on the facts presented to her about her patient.

Neuroses: None

Life philosophy: Have courage and be kind. (Wow her’s is so purreee)

Religious stance: She doesn’t have a particular stand

Cautious or daring?: Sorta both to be honest. She can be cautious about certain things and if anything she’s probably more cautious than she is daring, but she does have her daring moments. Those tend to pop up most whenever she’s around Dodger haha.

Optimist or pessimist?: Optimist!!!!! Oh my gosh too freaking optimistic

Extrovert or introvert?: Extrovert

Level of comfort with technology: Very comfortable!!!

RELATIONSHIPS

Current marital/relationship status: Taken

Sexual orientation: Heterosexual

Past relationships: Ughhh Minnie has a shitty relationship history. Most of it consist of her being cheated on because once her boyfriends at the time realized how sweet she is they thought it easy to go right ahead and cheat. Her first serious boyfriend who she had fallen for, he had made a bet with his friends that he can take Minnie’s virginity. He did fucking ass-hole she gave it to him because she knew nothing about the bet. Eventually she found out and of course she ended up with a heart break. So yeah, Minnie has a horrible track record.

A social person? (popular, loner, some close friends, makes friends and then quickly drops them): Minnie is such a social butterfly!!!!! She loves talking to people, would say hi to anyone, smile and laugh. Making friends is probably one of her favorite things to do. She just loves being around people.

Most comfortable around (person): She’s very comfortable around her co-workers, has a great friendship with Dr. Sweets. Minnie though is the most comfortable around Dodger.

Oldest friend: Ummm probably anyone who has lived in Swynlake like their whole life like she basically has haha

SECRETS

Life goals: She kind of completed one. She became a nurse just like she has always wanted to be. She got out from under her Aunt and her husband’s roof which was something else she desperately wanted. She wouldn’t mind settling down in the future, find someone she’d love to spend all her time with. She’s a bit of a romantic like that.

Dreams: Minnie kind of got her dream. She has always wanted to be a nurse and that’s exactly what she is. She pretty much wanted to help people, much like her dad did.

Greatest fears: Constantly getting hurt because she has such a shitty relationship past. Her parents are already dead so there went that fear.

Most ashamed of: Hahahaha okay sooo one time, which was her first and last time, Minnie got like plastered drunk. She had gone out with some friends after a bad break up and they were all drinking. Well she got plastered drunk, and Minnie gets pretty flirty when she’s drunk. The next morning she finds herself in some random stranger’s house and realized she had a one night stand. Minnie has never gotten plastered drunk after that hahaha.

Compulsions: Minnie practically has to hand sanitize where ever she goes. If she enters a place she quick hand sanitizes her hands, before she eats she washes them, any where new she takes out a hand sanitizer and sanitizes her hands.

Obsessions: Pastries!!!!!!!!! Minnie will love you forever and a day if you give her a pastry!!!!! Any kind!!!!! You’ll have her jumping up and down with excitement.

Secret hobbies: Cooking and baking because Minnie loves doing both. She sings too so that can be another hobby for her.

Secret skills: Sooo Minnie is actually really good at picking locks looool. It was something she got taught back when she was in the foster care system.

Crimes committed (and was he/she caught? charged?): None, Minnie is a complete sweetie :D

What he/she most wants to change about his/her current life: If Minnie could change anything it would be that her parents never died. She would love to have them alive with her, but she knows that that can’t be the case.

What he/she most wants to change about his/her physical appearance: I don’t think there is anything Minnie would really want to change about herself. I mean she shouldn’t she’s gorgeousss.

DETAILS/QUIRKS

Night owl or early bird?: Night Owl

Light or heavy sleeper?: Light

Favorite food: Junk food hahahaha. I find this hilarious because Minnie is a nurse and she knows that all that kind of food is bad for you!!! But, she can’t help herself!!!! She has such a horrible sweet tooth she loves all sorts of sweets!!!!

Least favorite food: Spicy food!!! Yeah, Minnie is HORRIBLE with them!!! She can’t even eat a buffalo pizza, her tongue can’t take the heat.

Favorite book: The Secret by Julie Garwood

Least favorite book: Anything that has to do with economics or buisness things she doesn’t like!!!! All of that bores her to death

Favorite movie: The Princess Bride

Least favorite movie: Drama movies. Too much drama bothers Minnie she just stares at the movie and/or show and is like .....really???

Favorite song: As It Seems by Lily Kershaw.

Least favorite song: She’s pretty much like Georgette with this one she doesn’t like very heavy Heavy Metal. She just hasn’t been able to get a taste for it.

Coffee or tea?: Coffee. It should be tea considering she lives in England haha but she can’t live without coffee it really helps her with her job

Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?: Smooth

Lefty or righty?: Righty

Favorite color: Ughh, Minnie loves her pink too hahaha, but she also loveeesss red!!!!

Cusser?: Nope. Minnie doesn’t curse at all, not even when she’s really angry.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug user?: Casual drinker and when she does drinks she has taken to making sure that someone is always with her to act as a sort of chaperone so that she never gets herself into a one-night stand again hahaha

Biggest regret: I would’ve thought that it would be the same as her biggest shame but nope. Minnie’s biggest regret is wanting to have a tenth birthday party, because it was in wanting that party that her parents had to get birthday supplies for and that’s what they were doing when they all got into the car accident that took their lives.

Pets?: Meeeeppp Minnie has a cat!!! It’s a tuxedo cat named Figaro whom she is absolutely IN LOVE WITH!!!! He’s her prince charming mhmmm. She calls him that all the time!!!!!

#knowing minnie #two down still got a whole bunch others to gooo #headcanon

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 7 years

Text

Once upon a time a certain big name within the Spider-Man fandom spoke upon issue #500 and how it wasn’t a good issue, specifically talking about the ending involving Uncle Ben and how it was ‘banal’.

This is my rebuttal to that.

First lets look at the scene in question and give a little context. It’s Spider-Man’s birthday and he’s spent his time on a trip through his life.

He’s seen a possible future where his identity has been compromised, where he’s wanted by the law and where he is ultimately killed in a last stand with the authorities. Then he’s witnessed his origin as a teenager and had to essentially sporadically hop to random points along his timeline in order to get back to where he started and avert a demonic invasion.

In typical Spider-Man fashion the moments of his life he finds himself returning to are far from pleasant ones as he finds himself in the midst of his battles with various foes, or trapped under machinery in Doc Ock’s underwater base, or even at the Brooklyn Bridge trying and again failing to save Gwen Stacy.

All of this is courtesy of Doctor Strange who inspires Spider-Man to keep on fighting after the latter incident.

And when I say he has to keep fighting...I mean he has to do all of this:

Bad ass.

Anyway by the end of the issue Spider-Man opens up a box from Doctor Strange with a note saying he has just five minutes. And its a doozy!

Okay so the main points of contention from this particular Spider-Man fan, when commenting on this issue, boiled down to:

1) This was underwhelming for a 500th issue of a historic title, with ASM #600 being better on that front

2) It’s almost like another Doctor Strange story because Spider-Man is up against Dormammu and Doctor Strange is involved

3) You expect a big ass battle, perhaps with all of his villains as the cover depicted

4) You never feel like its a personal enough story for Spider-Man because its cluttered with other stuff

5) The conversation between Peter and Uncle Ben is banal and says nothing of importance, not addressing Peter’s role in Ben’s death. Particularly this Spider-Man fan notes how if his father was alive again their conversation would be a lot more substantial.

So let’s address these criticisms one by one.

1) This was underwhelming for a 500th issue of a historic title.

I don’t entirely disagree with this.

For a $3.50 comic book in 2004 that was almost (despite the cover’s claim to the contrary) double length the story was mostly just a clipshow. For an issue which is a milestone amongst milestones (being halfway to issue #1000) something more seismic should’ve been in order. As was though the issue was something of a clipshow comic book which isn’t really acceptable when you consider other centennial Spider-Man issues have had stuff like a rematch between Spidey and the Burglar, the death of Harry Osborn, the death of Aunt May or even in ASM #700’s case a big status quo shift. Okay it was shifting into a bad status quo but that’s not my point.

My point is a centennial issue should carry weight to it. it should either be the culmination of something or the beginning of something that’d matter going forward. ASM #500 was the end of a three issue arc that had only one consequence thereafter, the setting up of another short arc involving Loki. Really the story was fairly skippable which for a centennial issue isn’t good enough.

However that being said the story should be evaluated unto itself and not just on the basis of how it marks a milestone.

2) It’s almost like another Doctor Strange story because Spider-Man is up against Dormammu and Doctor Strange is involved

Arguably, this point might be true of the three part story overall. However it is not true of ASM #500 in isolation.

Yes the main impetus is to stop Dormammu and yes Doctor Strange is involved and the one sending Spider-Man on his journey down memory lane.

However they are nothing more than the excuses to get the story going. The story being a highlighting of Spider-Man’s struggles, the cost of the costume and how Peter feels about that at the end of the day.

That’s what the story is really about and it’s not only squarely based on Peter but it is also most definitely by it’s introspective nature a Spider-Man story.

Really Dormammu and Doctor Strange could’ve been switched out for Doctor Doom and Reed Richards and it would’ve amounted to the same thing. Stopping Dormammu is the destination Doctor Strange is the vehicle getting us to that destination but the story is about the guy in that vehicle and his journey to reach that destination and what he feels about the journey once it is over.

3) You expect a big ass battle, perhaps with all of his villains as the cover depicted

We got that. See the splash page above. More poignantly seeing Spider-Man be thrown into all of his old battles at random with little respite and endlessly fight and fight and fight some more, triumphing over each of them and getting back home to help save the whole damn world is a pretty big feat of Spider-Man’s strength and willpower. It’s yet another ‘lift the wreckage off your back’ moment but done differently.

4) You never feel like its a personal enough story for Spider-Man because its cluttered with other stuff

See my rebuttal to point 2) and also take another look at those conversations I posted between Peter and Doctor Strange and Peter and Uncle Ben, not to mention these scenes.

This isn’t personal?

Also amongst the 38 pages of this issue do you know how many feature the Mindless Ones, Dormammu or none Spider-Man characters (exempting instances like the Juggernaut) and have mostly not been about Spider-Man’s main personal journey in the story? 7 tops. And two of those was setting up the mechanics of the story to allow Spider-Man to return to his own timeline.

So the story is cluttered by all those things being in...less than 19% of the story? So...egregiously less than even ¼ of the overall story?

Okay.

This is probably my biggest bone to pick for various reasons because it speaks to frankly looking at the story far too superficially and also allowing personal life stuff to cloud your judgement. And also because, as you will hear me repeat going forward, this scene was ingenious.

First of all let’s get a little messy here and talk about the commenter and their father. I do not know the commenter very well and know even less of their father. But I do not need to in order to make my point because it is incredibly basic and obvious.

The commenter isn’t Spider-Man, their father wasn’t like Uncle Ben and their relationship with one another wasn’t like Peter and Ben’s.

I know this because

a) No one in real life is like Spider-Man or Uncle Ben

b) No one’s life experiences is like Spider-Man’s, not even police officers who have maybe the closest equivalent to Spider-Man’s life (and from what I know of the commenter they have never been a police officer)

c) No two people are identical on this earth in their personalities which by definition means no two people’s relationship will be identical to any other two people’s relationship. Especially when it comes to a relationship between a parent and child which is about as personal as you could get.

All of which renders the criticism that they would’ve said something different or more substantial to their briefly resurrected father entirely invalid.

Frankly, anyone seeking to truly analyze the scene or critique it should not be asking what THEY would’ve done in Peter’s position and instead be asking what made sense for Peter in the context of his life, personality and history would do. And at the same time what BEN would’ve done, something the commenter entirely neglected.

Which is in fact the real genius of the scene. It flips the script quite a bit to instead of having Peter seek a lot of answers from Ben, it actually shows us that Ben has somethings he wants to ask Peter.

Which is ingenious because after 40+ years we are entirely aware that Peter misses uncle Ben and wants to see him again. But the scene in ASM #500 makes the point that actually Ben would miss Peter too and would need to get a certain amount of closure from him, which I will get into a bit more shortly.

I think if Uncle Ben returned we’d all expect Peter to want to confess and ask Ben for forgiveness for his part in Ben’s death. And the thing is...he did that, or rather he tried too. Because JMS opted to take things a step further. He had Peter begin to ask Ben for forgiveness and for Ben to cut him off before specifics were said.

Which is again ingenious. Let’s be real here, based upon everything we’ve ever known about Uncle Ben (and putting aside how the Ben in this story clearly is aware he’s dead), he’d obviously forgive his nephew for his lack of action when he was 15 years old, especially in light of all he’s done since.

What JMS did was subvert that expectation and have Ben not forgive Peter, but go so far as to say that he doesn’t even consider what Peter did as something his nephew needs forgiveness for, not from him anyway. In one stroke Ben conveys to Peter and the reader that Peter is not atoned for his original sin but rather he never needed that atonement in the first place. Which had writers really paid attention, should have ended any BS guilt tripping Peter visited upon himself going forward when you think about it.

So off the top the issue not only addresses one of the major points of discussion everyone would’ve envisioned for this sort of scenario.

In fact, really as far as Peter is concerned what else is there really to talk about with Ben?

Remember by all accounts Peter and Ben had a very positive and fulfilling parent/child relationship. Peter and Ben’s last interaction wasn’t an argumentative or negative one from what we know. So there is no ‘unfinished business’ left to settle between them like there was between Harry and Norman when either of them were depicted to have died.

What else does Peter, within the mere five minutes he has with Uncle Ben, really got to say to his Uncle? Especially when you consider from his experiences with this stuff Ben is probably able to know or observe the stuff that goes on in Peter’s life. Like Peter really doesn’t have to tell Ben he’s married, or that he’s a teacher or even that he’s Spider-Man.

What else from a storytelling perspective does the specific character of Peter Parker (not you, me, the commenter or anyone else) need to say to Ben once the issue of his guilt over his death has been addressed? The answer is nothing really, at least nothing that we the readers really need to see him saying.

Returning to what I said above, JMS further subverts the expectations in this scenario by having Ben be the one who asks the questions. Cleverly though the focus is still on Peter. Ben is shown to be the one with concern for his son but in asking the questions we get to examine Peter.

Now this is not only brilliant for the reasons I’ve outlines, but because it is also touchingly realistic despite the fantastical scenario.

Whilst there are some shitty parents out there, most parents love their children, regard them as the most important things in their life and make their well-being their top priority.

In this issue we have a man who was the adoptive father of this kid who involuntarily had to leave his son when he was just 15 and still in need of parental guidance as he grew up. Now for a mere 5 minutes he gets the chance to see his son again when he’s all grown up. Even ignoring how he’s literally dead, Ben’s window of opportunity to raise and shape Peter, his son, closed a long time ago.

So instead (as discussed above) he does assuages Peter’s concerns and proceeds to do what frankly MOST parents in that situation would do. He seeks reassurance. Not for Peter’s sake but for his own.

He asks Peter two questions, the first of which boils down to

Have you tried to live a meaningful life?

Now granted Peter somewhat lies in his answer because when Ben asks if he ever walked away from what he believed ‘even once’ he says he never has when ASM #50 and ASM #100 alone are proof that that isn’t true. But then again earlier on Ben did comment that we all stumble and I suppose when you get right down to it, it’s more important that Peter kept coming back to his responsibilities as Spider-Man than the fact that on occasion he walked away from it for, at most, like a few months.

So Peter’s life is reaffirmed as one of meaning, which is a poignant question for a parent to have answered of their child. And also a poignant one for anyone to have to dig deep and answer of themselves as Peter did in that moment.

However it is not as poignant as Ben’s second question, one which goes to the heart of essentially every human being who’s ever lived.

Are you happy?

Let me break that down for you a little bit.

Uncle Ben is a man who never got to finish his job as a parent to his son Peter and never got to see the specifics of how his life unfolded.

Now in a very brief window of time he has the chance to find out first hand from his fully grown son if his efforts as a parent paid off.

And more pressingly he has the opportunity to know the thing virtually EVERY parent across the planet and all time has wanted to know.

Is my child happy?

Is the person whom I love more than anyone in my life or in the whole world, the person whom I can’t help anymore after years of trying to help them, are they happy?

Can I go back to where I came from, where I can’t see them or interact with them, with my mind at ease knowing that they are okay?

This is an entirely realistic thing for Ben to ask and something that fans probably considered a Hell of a lot less than Peter’s side of the scenario.

But the real brilliance of the scene is not in the fact that Ben as a parent would ask the question. But that it makes Peter ask it of himself.

Keep in mind the context of the scene.

Peter has just relived his life, or rather all the crazy super hero parts of it, i.e. the parts which have caused the most pain and problems in his life. The parts which do mostly amount to violence that’s gotten under his skin and threatened to break him. The parts which he has recently learned might possibly lead him down a dark path where he is falsely accused of a crime and killed by the very forces of justice he’s striven to help throughout his career.

And now Uncle Ben, his father, the man who’s death set him down that path which has cost him so much, the man whom miraculously he can see again for a mere five minutes and whom he would deny almost nothing to is asking him this question. The same question which, if you take a look back above, Doctor Strange was hinting at.

And it’s a question I think we’ve all asked of ourselves at one point or another. Hell you could go so far as to say it’s a question which hits right at the heart of life itself.

And in this milestone issue set on the anniversary of his very birth, Peter Parker tells the one man he could never lie to (and by extension the readers as a whole) that...yes.

Actually, despite all his suffering and talk of the ‘Parker Luck’, he feels he is very lucky and ultimately happy.

And that my friends is why the commenter was so very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very wrong in his assessment of this scene being unimportant and banal.

How on Earth could a scene which forces Spider-Man to take a hard look at his life, a life which he’s just revisited the worst highlights of, a life which has been published across 40+ years, and emerge saying that he is deep down happy and content, be meaningless?

How could it be anything even resembling banal?

That my friends is why for all it’s flaws and despite maybe not being enough of a milestone, Amazing Spider-Man #500 is most definitely a GOOD Spider-Man comic.

#Spider-Man #Peter Parker #uncle ben #ben parker #marvel #marvel comics #Doctor Strange #stephen strange #Dormammu #mindless ones #j michael straczynski

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thegoddessprose · 5 years

Text

Survey Survey Survey

Looks and Personality

What do you look like? >> Pale, brown hair high back, some curve, heart face, brown eyes... Yeah, no, sorry, I’m just going to be vauge How often do you bathe? >> Every other day How do you wear your hair? >> I like to keep it down

What colours do you tend to wear? >> Black, usually, maybe also blue, purple, and pink Do you have any tattoos? What, where and why? >> No, I have not

What kind of clothes do you wear? >> Usually graphic tees, tunics, blazers, slacks, sweats, leggings, crocs, and such What kind of jewellery do you wear? >> Nothing too often, I have a bracelet I love, and a few fandom necklaces Is there anything else you often wear? >> Not really Would you say you had a “look”? >> Yeah, I’d think so When going out, do you dress up or down? >> It would really depend on where I’m going What do you wear to bed at home? >> Sweats and a t shirt What do you wear to bed when your somewhere else? >> The same Is there a place you keep any prized/secret things whilst you’re away? >> If I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, would it? What’s your favourite food? >> Mashed potatoes in gravy. No skin. No chunks. What’s your favourite drink? >> I like a good strawberry daiquiri What’s your favourite desert? >> Mint ice cream with oreos What’s your favourite type of food (e.g Mexican)? >> American, as lame as I am Do you have any mental problems? >> Yep... Yay for Anxiety.... Do you have any phobias? What? Why do you think you have this/them? >> Yes, needles (Medical problems at a very young age), dogs (Bad experiences with them, and I don’t like attention or loud noises), thunder (Loud noises) Why might somebody dislike you? >> I guess because I don’t act like everyone else What skill do you possess that you are most proud of? >> I’m a pretty good writer, and I’m not being vain, I’ve had other people tell me this What is your greatest strength (e.g. honest, loyal, brave)? >> I don’t take other people’s BS, I’m not gullible, I know what I want and I don’t let other people influence me too much What’s your greatest shortcoming or flaw (e.g. cowardly, alcoholic)? >> My anxiety makes me reluctant to try things, and I can be a little fussy Who do you most admire? >> It’s hard to pick one person Who do you most love? >> Uh... What three things do you look for most in a partner? >> Open-minded, a gentleman (But not TOO old-fashioned), an individual Do you like crowds? >> NO What are your hobbies? >> Travel, browsing the internet, theater If you can’t get to sleep in the middle of the night, what do you do? >> Read, daydream What is your favourite animal? >> Not really sure at this point What is your favourite colour? >> Hot pink or black If you could ask God (to athiests - IF there was one) one question, what? >> Well, if is there really a heaven or hell is off the table... When he created people, did he know how destructive they were going to be... And is there any way to undo the mob stuff? Rate yourself on these traits from 0 to 10. 0 - do not possess this trait. 10 - you have great amounts of this trait. Calm temper 6 Charm 4 Cheerfulness 2 Confidence 7 Courtesy 6 Curiousity 9 Forgiveness 8 Generosity 5 Greed 3 Helpfulness 5 Honesty 7 Loyalty 8 Optimism 1 Patience 6 Self-sacrafice 1 Wit 9

Background

Where were you born and raised?

>> Maryland

Briefly describe your family.

>> Your run of the mill suburban family. No real toxicity or anything like that.

You must choose one - your childhood was calm/peaceful or tragic/turbulent?

>> Pretty fairly turbulent because I grew up with a chronic illness, but thankfully I have access to pretty good care

Did you have any rolemodels?

>> A few

What is the worst thing that has ever happened to you?

>> When I was 12 I got super sick, I couldn’t move, I couldn��t sit on any hard surfaces, I gained a lot of weight that’s taken me a decade to lose... I got better, but I had to go into the hospital

How did it affect you?

>> Again, I gained a lot of weight that took forever to lose, I still have stretch marks, I’m scared to death of flaring now because of it

Have you ever had any recurring nightmares or themes in nightmares?

>> No, not really

What were they?

>> N/A

Do you currently have a boyfriend/girlfriend? >> No Do you have any close friends? >> Yes Briefly describe your best friend: >> Long distance, but still one of my best friends, we go to each other during both the good and bad, we share our work, she’s like my long lost sister Any enemies? >> Not that I know of Who? What are they like? >> N/A? Would you risk your life for your best friend?(not lover or family member!) >> I don’t... Probably With who was your most important romantic relationship? >> I’ve never exactly... Been in a relationship Of what are you most proud? >> I’m proud of my writing Of what are you most ashamed? >> I can’t always do everything by myself, I don’t like my stretch marks

Alignment, Ethics and Religion

What is your religion?

>> Ah.... Agnostic, I’d say

Where do you stand on abortion?

>> Pro-choice

Where do you stand on the death penalty?

>> No opinion

Where do you stand on wearing fur?

>> Doesn’t matter to me unless it’s an endangered species

Do you have a moral code that you follow? What?

>> Try to do the right thing, even if other people don’t think it is... Is that a moral code? Sure.

Could you kill somebody?

>> I’d say only if my or someone else’s life depended on it.

For what reason would you kill somebody?

>> See above

Would you SERIOUSLY CONSIDER killing anybody right now?

>> No.

Do you trust easily, or not?

>> Not.

What are your political beliefs (anarchy, communism, democracy etc.)?

>> I don’t really have a set... Well, set. It would really depend on what issues we’re talking about.

What, if anything, WOULD you sacrifice your life for?

>> I can’t really think of anything

Would you ever, for any reason, abandon your friends in an hour of need?

>> Well, I’d do my best not to, but anything can happen.

Motivation

What are your dreams/ambitions/goals? >> Write bestsellers, have good health, live somewhere interesting where I don’t have to drive How do you plan to reach them? >> Uh..... How would your ideal partner look? >> I’m not too shallow... But tall(ish), dark hair, and bespectacled would do just fine

Do you ever want to have a family someday? With children? >> Children? No way. I can’t deal with being pregnant, and even outside of that, I’m not selfless, conformist, or patient enough. Who would you want to start this family with, or do you not yet know? >> N/A What would stop you from reaching your goals (e.g. death, retirement fund)? >> Needing a warm place to live and good healthcare... And procrastination? What do you see yourself doing next year? >> Don’t ask me What do you see yourself doing in twenty years? >> Hopefully having written a bestseller Would you ever have an affair? >> I guess it would depend. In a perfect world I’d answer no, but that’s not how the world is, and anything can go wrong, so I can’t say it’s impossible. Would you ever have a one night stand? >> No, I’m not that kind of girl What are your greatest fears? >> Failure and death are pretty big, I guess

More information

If you had a month of nothing (no work, no obligations) what would you do?

>> TRAVEL

How do you relax?

>> Internet, solitude

What one thing would you change in this world (free Tibet, abolish Sweden)?

>> Uh... Free healthcare?

Would you ever choose a career or job where your life was at risk?

>> No.

How would you like to be remembered after your death?

>> I’d rather not think about this... I hope well and for a long time as someone talented, I guess.

Random questions

Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)?

>> I saw a bunch of Brexit stuff while in London

How did they affect you?

>> I was mainly thinking, “well, at least they’re not rioting”

Do you have any famous relatives?

>> That would require me to reveal my real last name, and that’s not happening

Do you have to try and live up to your family’s expectations?

>> No

Are you a loyal member of any organizations?

>> No.

General Information

Name:

>> Persephone

Age:

>> 21

Date Of Birth:

>> September 1st

Race:

>> White

Height:

>> 5′3

Weight:

>> 120 lbs

Are you happy with this?

>> I would have liked to be taller

Desired weight:

>> This is fine

Sexual orientation:

>> Straight

First language:

>> English.

Second/Third/Fourth etc. languages (if any):

>> French (Not fluent)

Why did you take this survey?

>> I was bored

#survey #surveys #bored

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