#emo emily prentiss | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wildflowerluver · 1 year

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petals of a flower

emily prentiss x fem!reader

5 times the team suspects emily has a girlfriend and the 1 time it gets confirmed

cw: fem!reader, she/her pronouns, reader is referred to as girlfriend, homophobia, case details involving homosexual couples, slight injuries

wc: 3.4k

༺♡༻

emily prentiss is a mystery when she first joins the team.

garcia digs up the standard: parents, place of birth, etc. but the team doesn’t really know her.

they learn a lot about her as she settles into her position over the months. her high school emo phase had been a highlight.

but there was one part of emily’s life the team still didn’t know about.

her sexuality.

it’s not that emily’s ashamed, not in the slightest. she’s just nervous about the response. the bau team is her family and she doesn’t want to lose that.

any girls night or dinner with the team where partners get brought up, emily does everything in her power to change the topic. she’s simply not ready. she’s not ready to tell them about you.

you’re emily’s favorite person. the best girlfriend she could ask for.

she just isn’t ready for her two worlds to collide.

1. flowers

a bouquet of flowers sits on emily’s desk when the agent arrives for work. they’re white lilies, wrapped delicately in brown paper and secured with a thin piece of string. a card is tucked in the top.

“uh oh,” derek muses from his own space. “someone has a secret admirer!”

not secret to her. they’re the ones who don’t know about the sender.

emily stands in front of the bouquet, hiding the card under a folder on her desk. if anyone saw the note, they would demand for her to read it outloud.

“you know white lilies in particular are a popular funeral flower,” spencer jumps in with a fact.

“come on, pretty boy. it’s a romantic gesture. no need to drag down the mood.”

“actually morgan they’re used in weddings too. mainly christian ones but still they’re-”

“reid!”

the sound of derek and spencer’s arguing is drowned out as emily brought the flowers up to her nose.

soft and sweet.

she didn’t even need to read the card to know who they were from.

you had first pointed out white lilies when on your first date with emily.

it was when you were walking downtown after dinner. vendors had set up outside in the shopping district including one of the floral shops.

emily had stopped you in front of the bins of flowers. “which ones are your favorite?”

you didn’t have to think for very long. “white lilies,” you answered honestly. “they represent rebirth and purity.”

she hummed a noise of content beside you.

you reached into your bag to pull out your wallet, quickly grabbing the right amount of cash and handing it to the florist who sat outside.

“to new beginnings,” you beamed, offering the pre-wrapped flowers to emily. her cheeks turned a rosy pink, a stark contrast to the white petals.

she kissed you for the first time that night.

ever since then, white lilies have become your mutual flower.

“any idea who they’re from?”

that’s j.j. who asks after walking over to her with a stack of papers.

“no idea.”

emily hides her smile in the petals.

2. minimal loss

there’s a small group waiting in the quantico parking lot.

it’s late. the lights only illuminate a small section of the space.

you’ve never picked up emily from work after cases. you hadn’t even been near quantico before today. but, this case was different.

emily let you know in advance she was going undercover. it wasn’t supposed to be for long, just enough time for her and her coworker reid to investigate an underground cult in colorado.

it was hard to avoid the details of the case when every news station in the country was reporting on it.

you were cleaning around your apartment and had the news on as background, mostly to just hear the weather report. it had switched to live footage from colorado. your stomach dropped when you remembered that’s where emily was.

“this is a special report from la plata county, colorado.

we're reminded of jim mckay's words from munich– our greatest hopes and our worst fears are seldom realized.

let's hope it's not the latter as we wait to hear the fate of the women, children, and f.b.i.agents inside the building.”

an explosion.

you covered your mouth, stomach churning at the site. emily was inside. oh my god, emily.

you sent a long string of texts; hoping, begging, praying that she was alive.

when your fun buzzes hours later, you race to see what the message is. it’s from emily. she was okay, a little shaken up but okay.

tears well in your eyes. you knew her job was dangerous but this was the closest you had ever gotten to losing her. you offered to pick her up when she landed and she agreed without hesitation.

there were a few other cars in the lot when you arrived.

they had parked relatively close to each other. you stayed a ways away. you didn’t know these people and without talking to emily, you didn’t want to introduce yourself.

they looked familiar but you didn’t quite recognize them. there was a blonde woman and a young boy, another blonde woman with bright accessories, and then a man. who on emily’s team had a kid?

you sat on top of the hood of your car, picking at the skin around your nails as you waited.

it didn’t take long, nor was it difficult to spot the team when they arrived; two black suv’s pulled in one after the other.

you slid down the hood to stand up straight. you need to see her, make sure she was okay.

the team offloaded at once, each member getting out of the vehicle and distributing their luggage.

all eyes went to emily as she stumbled out of the car and hastily grabbed her bags. she had gotten hurt on this case, it was no secret everyone wanted to check up on her. she didn’t say anything before she headed in the direction of the car that was parked slightly away from the rest.

they couldn’t exactly make out the features of the person standing beside it but the way emily walked told them they were someone important.

you surged towards her when she was close enough, taking her face in your hands.

“oh em,” you breathed out, voice wavering with tears.

“i’m okay,” she promised, thumb wiping away the tears that fell.

emily pulled you into her, hand cradling your head as you cried. she knew this was a lot more scary for you than it was for her.

though the team had dispersed to greet their respected family members, no one failed to see the scene unfolding in the distance.

you hugged each other like you would never be able to again.

they all knew that emotion like that wasn’t platonic.

3. ring

a long weekend typically warrants news from some bau member.

whether it’s about a goal jack scored in soccer or a new house derek had renovated, people always seemed to have something going on.

emily sat at her desk and she scribbled away at files. one hand gripped the pen while the other sat on her knee. she twisted a band that sat on her left ring finger. it wasn’t an engagement ring but she liked wearing it on the one finger that connected to her heart.

atop the small gold band sat a gemstone, the one to match the month of your birth.

you had gotten the ring when on a trip. a shop you visited had sold them and you picked out one as a gift. as cliche as it was, you thought of it as a promise ring.

despite emily not being a huge jewelry person, she wore it every day.

the bullpen was a comfortable quiet. other members of the team sat at either their desks or in their office and worked away. the silence made it easy to focus.

a sharp gasp sounded behind her.

penelope had entered the bullpen, presumably to say hi under the false assumption she needed another cup of coffee. both of her hands had covered her mouth, effectively covering her shocked expression. “what is that!”

emily quirked her eyebrow at what the tech analyst was talking about. she was just at her same old desk doing the same old paperwork. she finally saw penelope’s line of vision and followed it down to her hand.

oh. it did kinda look like an engagement ring.

it wouldn’t be the most surprising thing in the world for someone to come back engaged after a long weekend, even if no one had been aware of their relationship.

emily barely had any time to answer before derek was circling his desk to find the source of the commotion.

“what’s all the yelling for?”

“emily has a ring. she has a ring, derek!”

derek’s eyes too fell on her hand. “woah princess! you’re getting hitched and didn’t tell us?”

“who’s getting married?”

the entire team, minus hotch and rossi who remained behind closed doors, had circled emily.

“you didn’t tell us you were dating someone!”

emily held her hands up to silence the group. “guys, guys. it’s not an engagement ring.”

a collective sigh echoed.

“it’s just a ring with my birthstone in it. my parents got it for me when i was younger and i found it when cleaning over the weekend.” emily doesn’t feel guilty for lying. it was a simple white lie, not something detrimental.

the explanation seems to suffice the group who then begins to disperse.

spencer is the only one who picks up that emily’s birthstone is an opal.

and an opal is not the gem on the ring.

4. home

nobody thinks much of it when emily neglects a saturday hang out in favor of having some personal work to get done.

derek, penelope, and j.j. all get together instead.

the girls drag derek around to a few shops they want to go to before penelope stops at a window with a gasp. “oh my god, look! that mug looks exactly like the one emily broke. we have to get it.”

there was no stopping the tech analyst who had a killer memory. it wasn’t false. emily had smashed her favorite mug earlier in the week accidentally and moped for days.

“we should surprise her! she said she had some personal stuff to do so she’s definitely home.”

derek shrugs. “i don’t know, baby girl. she probably doesn’t want to be bothered.”

j.j. digs around in her purse before pulling out a folder. “i did have to drop off her medical forms for her to sign.”

“you two have no boundaries.”

penelope is the one to knock on emily’s apartment door. she’s practically bursting with excitement. she loves her team and knowing how upset emily was over the mug, she can’t wait to give it.

you’re sitting on emily’s couch when there’s a knock at the door.

the two of you haven’t officially moved in together yet, though more times than none you’re at hers. the lease on your own apartment isn’t up yet though once it is, you and her will finally be living together.

saturdays where emily is home are semi-rare. cases often stretch into weekends. she’s thankfully home today, though a few chores around the home dominated her to-do list. she worked upstairs while you relaxed on the couch.

you were slightly confused as to who would be at the door.

“can you get the door, baby?” emily called from upstairs.

“got it!”

you trudged towards the entrance, sliding the peephole cover to the side to peer out. three people stood outside, two women and one man. they looked familiar. you had definitely seen them before.

the picture emily kept of her team on the wall flashed in your memory. that and the time where you had picked her up at quantico. oh, they were members of her team.

you finally opened the door. it was slightly amusing to see the three agents' faces twist in confusion when it was in fact not emily answering the door.

“can i help you?”

none of the three speak for a few moments. they’re clearly trying to rack their brain as you looked familiar to them too.

“oh, um, yes!” the woman with colorful accessories stutters out. “is emily here?”

you open the door a little wider, motioning with your head for them to come in. once the door is closed, you leave them in the entranceway and head in a bit further.

“em!” you call up the stairs. “people are here for you!”

there’s a distance thud. “coming!”

you figure whatever they need to talk about is none of your business. when emily comes downstairs, you smile softly at her. “i’ll leave you all alone. i’ll be upstairs.”

you squeeze her shoulder when you walk by and within a minute, you’re out of sight.

“not to sound rude but why are you guys here? is the team okay?”

derek nods his head. “everything’s good, princess. though i have to ask, who was that?”

emily doesn’t have an excuse. referring to you as ‘just a friend’ feels wrong. plus, she hasn’t discussed if you’re ready for her team to know either. she then notices the package in penelope’s hand.

“what’s that?”

the original question gets blocked out by penelope’s squeal and presentation of the gift.

derek and j.j. share a look. penelope’s not a profiler, she doesn’t pick up on some things, but emily’s deflection tells the agents all they need to know.

they stay quiet, though both of their hearts soar.

no wonder emily has seemed so happy.

5. case

emily’s not one to let her emotions impact a case.

she has a routine to prepare herself: kiss you goodbye, tell you she loves you, go to quantico, read the case, familiarize the victims, solve the case. all in that order.

this one throws her off.

lgbtq couples murdered in their cars, all wearing formal clothing presumably from their date.

emily’s mind immediately goes to you and her. though this case is states away, the unsub doesn’t have a much different mindset than a lot of people.

she internalizes it as best she can, wanting to perform at her best to help solve this case before more people die. it works at first. emily’s able to go to the crime scene, distinguish evidence, and build a profile with ease. that is until two more bodies are discovered.

and one of them looks like you.

j.j. pins the pictures on the board and emily’s stomach drops. she knows it’s not you. you’re miles away and you had just texted her a few minutes ago with a picture of the coffee you had gotten. but the internalized fear is very much present.

theories bounce around the room. why were these two targeted? sexuality aside, what about them was attractive to the unsub?

emily’s throat goes dry. she can’t do this anymore.

“hotch, can i talk to you?”

the room goes quiet. hotch’s eyes flicker back and forth from rossi to j.j. before going back to emily. “of course.”

emily doesn’t stop at an empty conference room. there’s plenty in the precinct and yet they end up outside. emily sits on one of the steps and begins to toy with the ring on her finger.

hotch takes a seat beside her.

“hotch i need to be pulled from this case.”

emily’s surprised she’s able to say the full sentence without breaking down.

“okay,” he begins slowly. “can i ask why?”

internally, hotch knows. he picked up on emily’s behavioral change from the second the case got presented.

“hotch, i-” the words seem to get lost on the tip of her tongue.

she shoves her palms into her eyes. she's flustered, embarrassed, scared.

she should be able to do her job. cases don’t usually get to her. it’s difficult to not feel helpless.

a hand moves to rest on her shoulder.

“it’s okay you know.”

he doesn’t need to finish. what he’s implying is obvious.

the tears brimming in emily’s eyes spill over hot and fast.

hotch moves closer to her, arm circling around her. all superiority dynamics have faded. it’s friend to friend, a moment of vulnerability.

emily’s felt more accepted from his four words than she has in years.

+1 meeting

emily always goes into work before you.

between her commute with traffic and desire to get there a bit early, she’s up and running before you even get out of bed.

naturally, you like to help her out as much as possible.

it comes in the form of packing lunch, organizing files, packing her bag (both personal and one for cases).

this morning was a complete blur. you had worked late the previous night and slept in before work. emily got ready around you, shaking you awake a few moments before she was set to leave.

when emily departed and you made your way downstairs, you noticed what she had forgotten. a brown folder stamped with the fbi logo sat next to an empty lunch bag. you frowned. file aside, you didn’t want her skipping lunch.

you took your phone out and sent her a text.

‘hi baby. you forgot a file and your lunch. can i stop by with them?’

she responds while you’re in the middle of getting dressed for the day.

‘any chance you can bring them at noon-ish? we have meetings all morning but a break for lunch.’

you beam. seeing your girlfriend at her workplace is new. sure you’d seen pictures of the bullpen, mostly when emily showed you her desk whenever you gave her a new trinket to add, but you had never been there.

instead of packing a meal, you stopped downtown at one of emily’s favorite restaurants for take-out. a little surprise.

quantico is intimidating, even from the signage you see on the drive over.

you park in the visitors lot and follow the instructions emily had given you on where to go. security was mandatory and a visitors pass was needed to access the floor.

once exiting the elevator, you stood nervously. emily was at her desk, though so were her coworkers. you look out of place; reusable bag and folder in your hands and casual clothing adorning your body.

she finally looked up and out the glass door, smile enveloping her face as she raised her hand to motion for you to come in. the agents sitting at their desks naturally gravitate towards the commotion. all of them recognized you.

the opal necklace the notice sitting around your neck suddenly makes sense.

“any chance you can get them to stop staring?” you ask once emily stops in front of you.

“hi baby,” she muses, disregarding the question with amusement. “sorry to make you trek all the way out here.”

her hand finds its way to the small of your back, guiding you over to her desk. she lets you have the chair while she sits on the surface. you fight the urge to roll your chair forward and rest your head on her leg. “don’t worry about it. i brought you takeout from that thai place we like.”

emily beams.

“you’re too good to me.”

“you deserve it.”

you stop taking the containers out of the bag and peer up at her.

emily’s hand moves to rest on your cheek before she ducks down to kiss you gently.

it’s revealing. you both know everyone in the room witnessed the act of public affection. “i love you.”

“i love you, too.”

when the team finally confronts emily, she has no problem boasting.

“this is y/n,” emily introduces. she glances at you to which you tilt your head, lips upturned. the next two words come a moment later. “my girlfriend.”

like white lilies, this was a new beginning. one where she could be more than open about her lover.

maybe the team's suspicion had been right, maybe some of it had been wrong. that didn’t matter now. all emily cared about could be open about your relationship.

rebirth and purity.

#criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds angst #criminal minds x y/n #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss fluff #emily prentiss x y/n

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abbyromanoff · 8 months

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KINKTOBER MASTERLIST:

ALL DARK FICS AHEAD!!!!

No requesting unless I ask please :)) all fics will be part of my own requests that are piling up and if I’m able to get more done I will but I promise all fics will be posted even if late

DAY 1: Dark!Natasha - Delicate

DAY 2: Yandere!Valkyrie - Gone, But Not For Long

DAY 3: Dark!Agatha - Manipulation Tactics

DAY 4: Dark!Wanda - Cruel Girl

DAY 5: Kate Bishop - Boyfriend

DAY 6: Step Mom!Natasha - What Are You Doing?

DAY 7: Serial Killer!Agatha - How To Get Away With Murder

DAY 8: Wanda Maximoff - Follow My Lead

DAY 9: Dark!Yelena - Change Of Plans

DAY 10: Dark!Carol - Foolish One

DAY 11: Emo!Wanda - Eyes Don’t Lie

DAY 12: Dark!Natasha - Love potion

DAY 13: Dark!Agatha - Stockholm Syndrome

DAY 14: Dark!Wanda Maximoff - You’ll Always Be Mine

DAY 15: Serial Killer!Natasha Romanoff - Explicit

DAY 16: Jane Banner - Hate Me? Or Love Me?

DAY 17: Ghostface!Nat - Target 1

DAY 18: Dark!Emily Prentiss - Chokehold

DAY 19: Kidnapper!Maria - Halloween Night

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andreafmn · 4 months

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12 Days of Ficmas ❅ Day 6

Word Count: 3.5K Paring: Emily Prentiss x Fem!Reader Prompt @12-days-of-ficmas: fighting while setting up the christmas tree/soft emo reconciliation

Summary: (Y/N) took her girlfriend's death very hard. But when Emily reappears seven months after everyone thought they had buried the agent, things between the couple seem to go back to how they were. (Y/N) always understood how important her girlfriend's job was and she never complained. Still, it can be hard to remain understanding when yet another plan is canceled and another promise is broken.

A/N: well, another sad one with a happy ending... I told y'all it'd be a sorta sad Christmas 🫣

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There were so many things that (Y/N) was that Emily loved. She was smart, witty, and understanding. Over all things, she was understanding.

After Emily’s supposed death, she had been devastated and had found it hard to get her life back during the seven months she was by herself. Although life went on, (Y/N) was stuck mourning for her partner without any knowledge that the woman would walk through the door alive and better than ever. Everything in her life had fallen down a monotonous spiral of dread, and suddenly she was there.

And (Y/N) understood. Even after she had lost seven months of her life, she understood. Even if she had mourned her girlfriend that entire time, she understood. Even if she had prepared to go the rest of her life without the woman she had given her entire heart to, she understood.

Because that was Emily’s job. It entailed high-risk situations, secret keeping, and even the potential fake-death scenario. Simply unavoidable work problems. And, of course, she just understood.

Two months had passed since the woman’s return, and things had seemed to settle down. They had fallen back into their normal routines, living as though they hadn’t lived completely different lives for over half a year. As though Emily hadn’t been only a continent away when (Y/N) thought she was six feet under. And with the holidays coming up, it was no use bringing up the past.

“Hey, baby,” (Y/N) said through the phone. “What time were you getting home tonight? I got us some matching sweaters and another one for Sergio. Oh, and I made some chicken pot pie, and I had Joe bring up the tree. So we can decorate it tonight. And…”

“(Y/N), honey,” Emily interrupted. “I’m not gonna make it home tonight.”

“No, but… you said you’d be home tonight,” she chuckled softly. “You told me you’d taken the week off until Christmas so we’d have some time together.”

“I know, and I’m really sorry,” the woman said. “We just got this massive case, and it’s out of state. It’s probably gonna take the entire weekend. But I promise I’ll be home by Monday —Monday night at the latest.”

“Of course,” (Y/N) said, swallowing the anger that was bubbling in her throat. “I understand. Just be safe, Em. I love you.”

“I love you, too, honey. Thank you for being so understanding,” Emily responded. “And don’t decorate that tree. I wanna do that with you.”

”Of course. I’ll see you on Monday.”

The second the dial tone sounded, (Y/N) crashed onto the couch, sighing as Sergio climbed onto her. She ran her hands over his fur, allowing the purring to unwrench the coil of anger that was tightening in her chest. It was just another missed promise, another day where work was more important than their little family. And she couldn’t help but wonder just how much longer she could withstand being a family of one.

Once upon a time, all (Y/N) had wanted was to spend the rest of her days with Emily. Then she had died, and (Y/N) thought she’d never find anyone to love like she had loved Emily. Only for the love of her life to rise up from the dead and settle back into her life like she had never been gone. It was as though the distance had not made any difference. Emily’s job came first, and everything else, including her own life, came second. And the woman didn’t know how much more she could take.

There was only so much cleaning (Y/N) could do to pass the time. Only so many garlands she could decorate without touching the tree. Only so many songs she could play to forget just how empty the apartment was. She couldn’t even go to work as she had taken the week off to be with Emily. And there she was, no girlfriend and all the time in the world.

“I don’t know what to do, Jess,” she told her friend that Monday morning when Emily hadn’t come home. “I thought this was the person I was going to marry. But after everything that’s happened… I don’t know what to do. And I’m trying. I’ve been trying for the longest time.”

“Have to talked to Emily about this, (Y/N)?” her friend asked before taking a sip of her coffee. “Since she came back from everything that happened last year, have you actually sat down and talked about how you felt during that time?”

“Well, not exactly,” she shrugged. “It’s just… I know why she couldn’t tell me that she was alive. Telling me would have put me in danger. And I know her job is really important and that she has to be away a lot. But I just wanted to spend some time with her this Christmas. Try to make up for all the time we lost.”

“Honey, if you don’t work through what happened before, how do you expect to be good now?” Jess stopped for a beat, setting her mug down and taking her friend’s hand. “Can I be honest about something, and you won’t get pissed at me?”

“Why do I get the feeling that I won’t like what you’re gonna say?”

“Because there’s a very likely chance that you’re not gonna like it.”

“Just say it,” she gave up. “If it’s something you think I need to hear, then go ahead.”

“I think you’ve been too understanding in this relationship,” the woman said. “I know that Emily’s job is very hard and that it requires a lot of her attention. But I also feel like there are times when you have to come first, (Y/N). And I know you don’t want her to think that you’re making her choose between you and her work, but you need to have your needs met. You need to tell her how you’re feeling regardless of how she’ll react.”

“I don’t know how to do that, Jess. Her job is literally saving people. How can I tell her that I want her to save people less and be with me more?”

“You know she’s not the only one on that team, right?” her friend continued. “The world is not gonna end just because Emily took a couple of days off. There will still be bad guys, and there will still be people to catch them. I mean, she disappeared for seven months, and the team kept working.”

“But she loves that job.”

“She should love you more, (Y/N),” Jess insisted, squeezing her friend’s hand comfortingly. “If not… honey, I’m sorry, but that’s not the person you should start a family with.”

“This is crazy!” (Y/N) sighed loudly. “This is not the way I should be thinking during the holidays. I love her so much, Jess. I can’t lose her again.”

“Then talk to her,” her friend pressed. “That’s the only way things can get better.”

As morning turned to night, Jess’ words kept swirling inside (Y/N)’s head. The last thing she wanted to think of was breaking up with Emily days before Christmas and only a few days before they hosted a holiday dinner in their place. She was terrified that saying what she felt would break them apart, and she’d actually lose her girlfriend forever. She wanted to spend the rest of her life by Emily’s side, but she understood she couldn’t do it at her own expense.

The hours passed, and (Y/N)’s disillusionment turned into anger. The bare tree mocked her presence as it reminded her of the reason it was still unadorned. Its branches shuddered under the A/C, needles of pine sprinkling onto the floor as the tree reminded her how much time had passed since it had been resting in their living room. She wanted to tear it down, to tear everything she had decorated down. She wanted Emily to see how angry she was the second she walked through the door.

Instead, she turned off all the lights and went to bed, with the tree still naked and no Emily.

The next morning, she awoke to the loud pang of a pan, and her heart sank. She remembered locking the door and checking it three times before going to the bedroom. Whoever it was outside had definitely broken in.

(Y/N) took Sergio into her arms, using a hand to dial 911 as soon as she confirmed there was someone in the apartment and it hadn’t just been a pan she had left too close to the edge. Slowly, she peeked her head out of the door, making sure there was no one on the second floor before quietly making it down the top couple of stairs. She knelt on the ground and looked to the kitchen to find something she had not expected.

Emily was trying her best to make breakfast quietly. A task she was failing immensely. She had her back turned to (Y/N), and that gave the woman the advantage to walk down the stairs without being noticed.

“So, you’re home,” she said, clearing her throat, making Emily jump and drop the pan on the stove. “A whole day late.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Emily started as she turned to face her girlfriend. “We got stuck in Washington and couldn’t get the plane out until very early in the morning.”

“And did your phone stop working, too? ‘Cause I didn’t even get a simple text.”

“Honey, I’m sorry. I was exhausted, and I forgot to call you last night. We spent so many late nights on this case, and it finally caught up to me. Can you forgive me?”

With a sigh, (Y/N) found herself falling into the same pattern. “It’s fine,” she said as she let Sergio down. “Let’s just eat breakfast so we can finally decorate the tree. We have the party on Friday, and there’s so much to do.”

The couple ate in silence, pushing their food around on their plates rather than enjoying the meal. The air around them was tense, filled with unspoken words and frustrations. But, as always, it was easier to move past it rather than talk about it because (Y/N) always understood.

Still drenched in silence, (Y/N) dragged the boxes of ornaments from the corner of the living room to the tree. She pulled the lids off the containers and started decorating without saying anything else. And Emily followed suit, working around her to help but keeping out of her way.

“Why don’t I put on some music?”

“Sure,” (Y/N) shrugged. “Whatever you want.”

“O~kay,” she said, connecting her phone to the speakers. “Actually, I just remembered there’s something I got for us.” Emily pulled a box from her purse, handing it to (Y/N) with a bright smile on her face. “I got it before leaving Washington, and I thought you’d like it.”

From the box, (Y/N) pulled a snow globe ornament with a lit-up Christmas tree inside, the tiny specs of white making the entire scene look like a winter wonderland. And where she would normally love a present like that, that specific morning, it felt like a slap to the face.

“Thanks,” the woman said. “It’s pretty.”

“It’s the first ornament of our new place, baby,” Emily cooed. “It even has the year engraved under it.”

“Yeah, I see. It’s… yeah, it’s great.”

“Is everything okay, (Y/N)? I feel like you’re somewhere else today.”

“I’m fine,” she shrugged. “Just fine.”

Emily wouldn’t have had the kind of job she did if she didn’t know how to read people’s emotions. She could tell (Y/N) was holding something in. Her shoulders were tight, and her expression was stoic. But it was her eyes that she could see held the most pain. They didn’t have their usual glimmer, and she knew it was her fault. “Tell me what’s wrong, baby,” she pleaded, tentatively closing the distance between them. “I know there’s something wrong.”

“I don’t wanna fight today, Emily,” (Y/N) sighed as she took a step back. “I just wanna finish what we have to do and move on from this.”

“Who said anything about fighting? I just want us to talk, (Y/N). You’re angry and upset, and I want to resolve things.”

(Y/N) slammed the ornament onto the couch, placing her hands on her hips and turning around as she took steadying breaths. She knew if she kept looking into Emily’s eyes, she’d simply break down before she could get a single word out. “You wanna know what’s going on? Fine. I’m mad, Emily,” she started. “I asked you –begged– for one week of your life, and you decided to take another case. You were gone for seven months, and all I wanted was one week.”

“Is that what this is about? I thought we were over that.”

“Over it? We haven’t even talked about it, Emily!” she exclaimed. “You were dead for seven fucking months! I grieved for you. I had to get used to being without you. I had to plan the rest of my life without you. And then you walked back in like nothing had happened. But something did! You died. I buried you. I lived without you. While you were in Europe, people here had to get accustomed to you not being here. And after all that pain and suffering, you came back. “I wanted to be fine with it, Em. I really did,” she sighed, feeling tears fall from her eyes. “But you just picked up where we left off, and I had to change an entire mindset that had been ingrained into my mind. For you, it was business as usual. You went to work, you took your cases, you were good. Meanwhile, I had to get used to waking up next to you and not thinking I was hallucinating or dreaming. I had to go back to worrying if your next case was the one that would take you from me. I had to be fine with you putting your job first and hope that one day you had any time left for me.”

“(Y/N)...”

“No, Em, you have to listen to me first. I need to get all of this out of my chest before I explode,” (Y/N) cried. “From the moment I entered this relationship, I understood what I was getting into. Your job… it’s one of the most important ones out there. So, I bit my tongue, and I said I was fine with canceled plans and broken promises because it was all for the greater good. But when you died, it put everything in perspective. I couldn’t stop thinking of all the moments we had missed because of your work and all the moments we were never gonna have. And I don’t know if I can go back to that. Because I love you, Emily. I love you like I haven’t loved anyone before, and I want to build a family with you. But if the work-life balance is not something you can do, I don’t know how we could build anything together.”

(Y/N) crumpled to the ground as she felt the weight of her emotions take over her. Her shoulders slumped forward, and her chest heaved, and the tears streamed from her eyes faster than she could stop them. As Emily remained quiet, she thought that was it. That was the moment that would break them. Three months before, she was still wondering how she would spend the holidays without Emily. And now, it seemed her fear had come true, even if her girlfriend was standing right before her.

But, suddenly, (Y/N) was enveloped in arms and warmth. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” Emily whispered against her hair. “I never… why didn’t you tell me? I never wanted you to feel like my work was more important than you–than us. I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through when I was in hiding, and I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that without me. But I want you to know that if I had been able to take you with me, I would have. Because at the end of the day, once the job is gone and all those responsibilities are put to rest, you are the only thing that I want in my life to be there still. I want the family. I want the future. I want everything with you. (Y/N).”

“It doesn’t feel that way most of the time, Em,” (Y/N) breathed as she leaned into Emily’s touch. As much as she had put space between them, she couldn’t help herself from sinking into her. “We moved in here only two months ago, and I think you’ve slept here a handful of times. All I asked was for you to take this one week so we could find our center again, and you took a case that you didn’t need to. It was a choice you made, Emily. Your days had been approved already, and you still took an out-of-state case. So, I think you can see how I would feel like you care about the BAU more than your own girlfriend.”

Emily’s arms wrapped tighter around (Y/N), her own tears falling and staining the fabric of her girlfriend’s shirt. “God, I know. I’m so sorry, baby,” she sobbed. “I just… I guess I’ve been trying to make things feel like they did before, and it seems my way was to throw myself into work. I never wanted to make you feel like I didn’t value you because you’re the only thing in my life that I want to hold onto until the day I die. I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sor…”

(Y/N) swallowed her words as she turned and crashed her lip onto Emily’s. She kissed her until her worries melted away. She kissed her with all the love and passion they had been lacking for months. She kissed her until they both understood their love for each other was the one thing that remained intact.

It wasn’t until Sergio jumped onto their laps that they finally released each other, chuckling as the cat meowed for attention. (Y/N) traced Emily’s lips with a smile, finally allowing herself to stare into the woman’s eyes. She caressed the skin of her cheeks, smoothing every worry line that had painted her face. She kissed her forehead, then her cheeks, her nose, her jaw, and finally her lips. Because she was there. And she was alive.

“I promise things will be different,” Emily whispered as she rested her forehead against her girlfriend’s. “I’ll take another week off. Hell, I’ll take a whole month off if you want. But I want you to know just how much I love and care about you, (Y/N). And I’ll do anything to prove it.”

“Wait here,” (Y/N) said as she got up from the floor and ran to her bag by the door. She rummaged for the red velvet box that had been inside for an entire week before March 7th, and she had kept it as a reminder of the woman she loved and would never get to wear it. But she was there now, and there was no better promise than what was inside. She ran back to where Emily sat with Sergio, taking her spot once more. “Do you mean it? Do you really mean anything?”

“Of course, baby. I love you.”

“Then, marry me,” (Y/N) said as she opened the box to reveal the ring she had carried for seven months on a chain and had put it back in the box when Emily came back. “I love you, Em. And I want everything with you. I want a house and a family. And I wanna grow old and wrinkly with you by my side. So, Emily Prentiss, will you marry me?”

“Yes! God, a thousand times yes,” she exclaimed as she crashed her lips onto hers one more. “And, well, I guess there’s no point in waiting until Christmas,” Emily chuckled as she stuck her hand under the couch cushion to pull out a similar blue velvet box. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you marry me? Because I don’t want to ever know life without you. Not now, not ever.”

“How could you steal my idea?” (Y/N) chuckled. “I’ve been wanting to ask you this since the start of the year.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I bought this ring after our third date?” the woman smiled. “And I’ve been carrying it around for almost two years now. I wish I would have given it to you so long ago. But no better time than now. Will you marry me?”

“Can’t believe you have to ask. Of course, I will.”

With matching smiles on their faces, they each slipped a ring onto the other’s finger and took the other in their arms. There, in front of their half-decorated tree and their cat, Sergio, they professed their love for one another and cemented their most important promise yet. They were in love, and that, (Y/N) understood.

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 2 years

Text

chamomile, chapter ten

A/N: the gif in the moodboard is by @radioactive-creative-bug

summary: late night check in to see how the doctor is doing

warnings: references to 6x19, emo boi reid (someone please, I can't be the only one who just stared belting the Ayesha Erotica song💀), almost kiss, regency romance novel level yearning

word count: 873

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Finishing up the last bit of your ginger ale, you walked determinately out of your hotel room and towards the doctor’s door. You couldn’t fight the fact anymore that this case was hitting too close to home for him. You hadn’t been the only one on the team who’d noticed. Everyone had been staring at him, watching him, and even Morgan had not so subtly had a talk with him in the bathroom.

You had a vague idea of why it was getting to him. You had read his file and it did say a fair amount about his mom, who she was and what she was dealing with, so putting two and two together, you could see how this particular case was so difficult for him to get through.

Softly, rhythmically, you knocked on his door and it didn’t take long for him to answer.

“Y/l/n, hey,” he greeted, sounding somewhat surprised at your presents.

“Hi,” you flashed him a warm smile, “can I come in?”

“Um, sure,” he moved aside for you to enter.

“You’ve been quiet today,” he kept his vision low at your observation, staring at his shoes, “you have been quiet.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out and closed the door behind you.

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, you looked up at him, “Reid,” cocking your head to the side, “are you okay?”

“Did Morgan talk to you? Is that why you’re here?” he buried his hands in his pockets, “to check up on me?”

“No.” you shook your head and then let out a heavy sigh, “Reid, I’m here because I’m worried about you.” Scooting to the side a bit more, inviting him to sit down next to you, “do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you wanna talk about Prentiss?”

“No.” he took a seat next to you on the mattress, “I don’t want to talk.”

“Okay, then what do you want? What do you need? We don’t need to talk, we can just sit here in silence and just be.”

For a moment he just sat there, staring at you, no doubt making a pro-con list in his head on whether or not he should open up his mouth. “I-… ever since what happened to Emily,” he started slowly, “I feel like I have no control over anything in my life. I feel like everything is falling apart. Everything I touch crumbles and dies and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t sleep, I concentrate. I feel useless.”

“Reid, how could you feel useless? You sweep in and save the day on every single case. Without you, we wouldn’t catch a single unsub. You’re good at everything-”

“Not everything. Have you seen me out in the field?”

“You’re not that bad,” now that you think about it he was either as good or even a bit better than you were.

“Yeah, but I’m not good. I should be good, I wanna be good.”

“You can be if you want. It’s just a skill like any other.” Then quietly added, “If you want, I could probably get you a key to the gun range.”

“You could?”

“Have you met the guys who work down there?” you turned your body to face him more, picking one leg up off the floor and onto the bed, “Bill is nothing compared to the reporters I have to deal with on a day to day, so yes, that would probably be the easiest thing I’ve done all month.”

“Thanks,” you physically saw some of the weight being lifted off his back, “really.”

“You’re welcome. Just promise that when you become Annie Oakley you’ll teach me all your ways,” you joked, nudging him playfully in the side.

“Deal,” he chuckled lightly, catching onto your hand, making it stop its light teasing.

Then came this moment, this second where everything was calm. Everything was good. He was just holding your hand, and everything seemed possible. Getting lost in his dark eyes felt inevitable. You couldn’t fight it, not in this moment. His thumb brushed over your knuckles, coaxing you in deeper. It wasn’t till you saw him move closer, that you were ripped out of the honeycomb fantasy and back into reality. The reality where you noticed just how bloodshot his eyes were.

Things had just gotten good again. You couldn’t slip back. You couldn’t let him break your heart again. He was hurting a needed comfort, but in doing that you would just make his proclamation that much more correct. If he touched you again, you would surely crumble and die. Even if it would feel good for a moment, it wouldn’t last. You were his friend. He wouldn’t ever see you as anything more.

So right before his lips could touch yours, you placed your hand on his chest and whispered, “Spencer.”

Pausing, his eyes flickered up from their view of your mouth and looked into yours.

“We can’t,” your voice shook slightly.

It looked like you’d just poured cold water over him because he immediately straightened up, “I’m sorry…” he removed his hand from yours, “I should probably go.”

“Spencer,” you called after him as he practically bolted out the door, “this is your room.”

next chapter

#lea’s writing #chamomile #spencer reid #spencer reid series #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you

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meet-me-in-the-pouringrain · 1 year

Text

The Phoenix and The Rocket

Chapter 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Emily Prentiss, at the insistent of her therapist, signs up for a trauma bonding site. She never expected that her trauma bond would connect her back to her old boss and the man she’s been in love with for over ten years.

Also the man she’s absolutely furious at for leaving.

Edit : Since publishing I have been made aware that the term ‘Trauma Bonding’ is actually an abuse tactic and doesn’t mean ‘bonding over shared trauma’. Would like to make it clear that was a very strong mistake on my part and I apologise deeply for any offence.

Read Below the cut :)

Days fade into weeks and weeks turn into months.

They correspond on a bi-weekly basis now, as much as Emily's schedule allows them too. The morning after they officially became Buddies, Emily sends an apology message for her drunk rambles and gratitude at his response. Aaron responds in earnest, giving her thanks and dismissing her own, and life moved on. Emily pesters him with questions and he answers them with patience, no issue or frustration on his end. In return, he pokes around her evasiveness and manages to tear down the wall she hides behind, making her open up more than she ever has. To a complete stranger no less.

The last person who made her do that was Hotch, and she feels a pang of odd betrayal whenever she realises that, as if she's betraying him whenever Rocket knocks down a brick.

They really bond over the fact they had false identities forced on them. Aaron shares that it's hard to get out of the habit of Frank, that he has trouble decoding where Frank starts and He ends. Emily offers advice (She's been through it a number of times after all) and insight.

Emily helps him realise that Frank and Aaron can co-exist and they don't need to fight a war. She helps him see that the best parts of Frank are the best parts of him.

In return, he's there for when she has a tough case and advises her on how to take things day by day.

Before, she'd have a habit of ignoring it and putting it off until she physically couldn't and then she'll break.

He opens up about his father, She her mother.

She tells him about her guilty pleasure in Emo-Rock bands, He returns with his passion for 60s music.

Eventually, they're no longer dumping on each other and they’re exchanging food recipes and recommendations and just sometimes messaging each other when they've got nothing to do.

The pair of them feel better about their baggage than they have in years and it truly shows. Emily doesn't snap at Luke or Dave as much anymore, she even stopped overloading Reid's case file. Aaron isn't as argumentative about Jack/Max anymore and only slips up after days in public where he's been forced to call him by the wrong name.

As much as they hate to admit it, Jack and Emily's therapist were right and it did make them better people.

It's 4 months into this exchange that she caves and pays $30 (a criminal charge quite frankly) for the app so she didn't have to open her laptop on the Jet. The website has a policy of exchanging personal details like emails or numbers. Everything has to remain entirely anonymous and there's certain things that'll get them flagged and/or their entire accounts deleted.

Which means that they'd lose contact with each other and neither of them can afford to do that.

It doesn't stop her team of nosy ass profilers noticing her happiness though. As evident by the smirks on JJ and Luke's faces when her phone pings as they leave a crime scene in Utah and she immediately yanks it out of her back pocket.

"Ooo" Luke cooes. "Prentiss has a boyfriend" He sings, climbing into the drivers seat.

Emily scoffs at him like he's the most ridiculous thing she's ever faced as she yanks open the passenger door. JJ is forced to sit in the back when the police officer peels off in the cruiser without waiting for her. "What are you five?" She asks, rolling her eyes. She tilts away from Luke and Jj's wandering eyes as she unlocks her phone.

RocketRacoon : I just had an argument with my son. Peanut butter. Smooth or Crunchy?

RocketRacoon : It's make or break question.

RocketRacoon : Our entire Buddyship relies on this.

Emily couldn't help the snicker that escaped her at the seriousness.

PhoenixPren : Yikes I better think long and hard.

PhoenixPren : Who are we kidding, obviously smooth.

She didn't notice JJ move to stare daggers at her phone.

RocketRaccon : Thank you! Why would you want CRUNCH? IN PENUT BUTTER?

PhoenixPren : Only criminals and serial killers.

PhoenixPren : You spelt Peanut wrong btw

Aaron chortles loudly and unexpectedly at that response. He shakes his head, thinking to himself inside jokes that only he and his old friends would know. He lifts his eyes up and jumps back.

Jack is standing at the kitchen counter, broken arm having been upgraded from a sling to a pliable cast thats been signed with 'Max' over 15 times, with a knife in his hand and a bread smeared with peanut butter. He's staring at his dad with a mixture of confusion and terror.

"What?" Aaron asks defensively, twisting in his seat to just see the wall behind him.

Jack grins then, shaking his head like he knew something. "Nothing" He says coyly.

"What?!"

Jack shakes just head again, biting his sandwich. "It's just" He says behind a mouthful. "I haven't heard you laugh like that." His tone is quiet. "Ever."

Aaron considers his words thoughtfully. He supposed he's right, he hardly laughs anymore. He marvels at his Buddy's way of getting him to do that and comes to the shocking realisation that the only one who's ever made him chuckle like the way Phoenix does is her.

He swallows thickly at the thought before shaking his head and closing his laptop rather forcefully. He moves to help Jack pour a drink, pushing that thought out of his mind.

<~>

“Prentiss has a boyfriend” Luke sings again as they congregate around the conference table and it takes everything in her not to slap the shit out of him. JJ is typing on her phone, glancing up at times with a smirk on her face, and Tara’s phone pings coincidentally. Spencer is in the middle of plotting points on a map with Matt and Dave rolls his eyes.

“Get back to the case” Emily snaps, shoving his shoulder a little as she walks past him to stand at Reid’s map. “So this UNSUB. He takes woman from brightly lit areas, he’s confident. But not too confident to scare them of-“

“So who is he?” Dave interrupts, making Tara snort.

Emily blinks. “He’s an UNSUB, Dave” She replies slowly.

“You’re dating an UNSUB?”

Emily’s hand comes down on the oak of the table, leaving a sting on her hand and echo in the room. Matt actually jumps and spills coffee on himself, JJ’s phone clicks off and Spencer awkwardly turns away back to his map.

“Enough!” Emily barks, expertly hiding a wince at how much she’d hurt her hand. “I am not dating anybody” She hisses. “I am working a case and trying to save the life another another woman. Get back to work!”

“Yes ma’am” A few of them chorus, making her internally cringe. She hates how JJ’s teasing look falls into a professional mask, how Spencer flinches away from her, how Dave even bows his head with a mumbled apology.

She chews on her fingernail as she watched her team work in tense silence. Finally, the boys leave for field work and leave the girls in the room. Emily watches JJ and Tara shoot looks at her out of the corner of her eye for five minutes, both of them trying to discreetly text Penelope.

“If you MUST know” She breaks, yanking her phone out of her pocket and launching it on the table. Tara pulls back and is the one to scoop it up before JJ could lunge for it. She doesn’t attempt to unlock it though and gingerly holds it in her hand. “I signed up to that stupid trauma website.”

“What?” JJ asks, pulling a face. “Wha- that Trauma Buddies thing?”

She vaguely recalls Penelope talking about it to Spencer, saying that she explored it and her heart hurts for all those people.

Tara makes a noise, shoving Emily’s phone back to her. “Oh Em” She tuts, sympathetically.

Emily collapses into Matt’s abandoned chair and rubs at her face tiredly. “Don’t, it’s okay” She sighs. “I mainly went on there to see other stories, my therapist told me to do it.” She shrugs. “I saw this guy and his story is…” Emily huffs a breath with wide eyes. “A lot. So I reached out and we’ve been talking ever since.”

JJ and Tara share a look, a silent understanding of their friend.

Emily thinks about telling them Rocket’s story but immediately forgoes that idea. Telling them would feel like betraying him. Sure he put his story out on the internet for strangers to see but that doesn’t mean she can go ahead and tell some other people what’s his to tell.

No, she can’t betray Rocket like that.

“We get it” JJ says finally, smiling. “I’m glad that you have that.”

Sure, she’s a little jealous Emily turned to an internet stranger than her. But she’s also mature enough to know that a stranger over a phone screen is a lot less intimidating than someone sitting in front of you. She’s also aware that for the majority of Emily’s journey, she had been there for the traumatic moments.

Cyrus where she got hit in the head, That one case where she got into a car accident and hit her head, The other time she got hit in the head.

She’s been hit in the head a lot.

Then obviously Doyle

And finally, Losing Hotch. Not one, but maybe three times. When she ‘died’, When she came back but he had found solace in Beth and when he left.

Of course, they knew about her feelings for their ex boss. Ever since Penelope got her drunk on the green fairy and she blurted it out during a game of Fuck Marry Kill they were all way to old to be playing.

JJ’s not even sure Emily remembers that night, the amount she drank probably kept the run down bar afloat for a day or two alone. She’ll never bring it up in a million years because she knows her friend with just deny it vehemently. But she can’t deny the hurt or anger that flickers behind her eyes whenever someone mentions his name.

Emily smiles weakly. “Don’t tell the boys?” She pleads.

“Oh never in a million years” Tara chuckles, shaking her head. “I don’t think Dave will let you hear the end of it.”

<~>

“Is it a girl?”

Aaron startles in his bedroom, flinching forward. He turns to find Jack standing in the doorway looking awkward.

“I’m sorry?” He asks, frowning.

Jack fidgets with his belt and then his cast for a moment before sighing. “Your laughter before” He swallows. “was it because of a girl?” He asks quietly.

Since Beth, his father hadn’t dated anyone, not that he’s aware of. It’s strange, to Jack, the idea of his father actually dating somone. He supposes it’s only weird because it had been ten plus years since his mothers death, Beth was around for maybe half a year at most.

But still, it’s fuckin weird.

Aaron sighs, looking at him with a hooded gaze. He can’t lie to him. “Yes” He admits, wincing at the way Jack sucks in a breath. “But not in the way you think.” He amends quickly.

Jack pulls a face now. “Huh?”

“We’re not dating” Aaron launches into everything, how Phoenix messaged him after a couple of days after Jack signed him up. How they became buddies, How she helps him with the Frank dilemma, how they moved on and are now basically pen pals. He thinks about Phoenix’s story and ultimately decides against telling his son all that.

Jack’s been through enough, he doesn’t need to know a strangers plight either.

Besides, Phoenix still hasn’t made a public post and he’d be a liar if he said he wasn’t filled with sick, selfish satisfaction and pride at the fact he and only he had managed to get her to open up and that he was possibly the only person to know that’s much.

When he’s finished, Jack is grinning smugly. “Told you” He mumbles. Aaron just rolls his eyes. “That’s great dad.” His son grins. “What’s her username?”

“Don’t go looking for her” Aaron warns, glaring. Jack holds his good hand up with an eye roll.

“Relax” He says. “I haven’t opened the site since I dumped”.

Jack’s therapist got him to the website in the first place, that’s how he knew about it. Aaron eyes his son with suspicion before giving in.

“PhoenixPren” He admits finally. Jack pauses for a second, thinking over the name before smiling.

“Okay” He nods.

“Goodnight, Jack” Aaron states, playfully frustrated. “Busy day tomorrow. We gotta start packing up the house.” He tells him softly.

Jack grins. “I still can’t believe you agreed to move back to Alexandra” He says, making Aaron laugh and agree. He was still in shock he agreed himself. Jack yawns and moves to leave. Aaron pulls back the bedsheets to climb into bed. “Hey” He pauses, poking his head back in. “It wouldn’t be so bad, you know.”

Aaron peers at him, confused. “What wouldn’t?” He asks.

Jack shrugs. “You. Dating.” He says before disappearing without a reply. He shuts the door to his fathers room firmly and pads to his own.

Aaron blinks at the wood before a smirk broke out on his face and he chuckles to himself. He glances out of the window. “He gets that from you.” He states with a grin, his eyes following as the leaves in the trees rustle back at him.

On the other end of the hallway, Jack flops down in bed with a grin. “PhoenixPren” He says to himself. “Real subtle, Miss Emily.” He laughs to himself and flicks his lamp off.

Word Count : 2282

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