#enm

[myoldboyfriends]

Storm Lefron

[ladyhaven]

[daybrightsims]

Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3

To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.

TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.

I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.

I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.

Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).

Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).

Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.

Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).

Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.

Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.

I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.

Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”

To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.

If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.

If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.

Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.

But it does.

Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.

Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.

[feeldco]

[nakedwilbur]

“Leave your shorts and t-shirt if you can’t pay the toilet fee. You shouldn’t have tried to sneak in here in the first place, and it’s not my fault you chose to go commando today. Just be glad I let you keep your shoes. Now, get out of here before I change my mind.”

[love-revised]

Love is not pie. You won't run out. Love is Pi. Real, irrational, and never-ending. Happy Pi Day, Love Rebels! loverevised.org Skilled alternative relationship coaching.

[counselor2017]

This is what happens when you tip the canoe on the second day of your week long canoe trip... Luckily they were able to rescue the group gear, but all his clothes had sunk straight to the bottom. He had still had the clothes on his body, but he was convinced by the rest of the group to take them off and let them dry.

"Wet clothes = hypothermia! You have to remove everything. It's just for safety! You'll dry off faster and you'll be warmer!" His buddies said with a smirk.

So here he was, butt ass naked with his cock out for all to see paddling a canoe. Imagine his surprise and blush when they finally got to their next campsite and his only remaining clothes had somehow disappeared!!

The good-natured teasing about his cock and balls would soon lead to playful touching and then even more when his erection became the center of attention.

This was going to be a very different "Boy's Trip...."

[polyamorousmood]

"polyamory is just avoiding commitment"

Mad I'm committed to three people and thereby 3x better at commitment than you are, huh?

[myoldboyfriends]

Ren (れん)

[orcbardneeul]

You assumed defeating Neeul at strip poker would be easy, especially once he stripped down to his underwear before they even dealt out the first hand. Despite that, he proceeded to calmly defeat you hand after hand, and now you're about to lose it all. How did he manage that?

🎨: @PaintballX99

Read 'em and Weep under the cut...

"Now, don't be a sore loser, time to- Wait, HUH? How did I lose?"

Neeul's big gamble was derailed at the last minute by one twist of luck. Ah well, he's not one to go back on a bet. Want to go double or nothing?

[selvie-blue]

Steve had been infiltrating the local bowling alley for a month now. Posing as a maintenance man, he'd wired a few bugs to listen in on their conversations.

Then, one night, he got a strange call. When he answered, there was just silence. He was about to hang up when a voice sounded: Boss wants to see you.

It was Jack, the guy who did the books for the operation. And his voice sounded soft and insistent. He had purposely surfaced an undercurrent of intimidation to slip through the consonants of his one request, shaping them on the corners of silk razor blades. He was going to ask further questions, but Jack hung up.

As he was getting up and getting ready, he got a strange text to only wear his blue uniform... and nothing else. He felt it wise to comply.

All the way there, he had many thoughts traveling through his mind. He could have called one of his people for backup but didn't. He kept regretting that decision and was continuously one second away from doing so, but kept putting it off, thinking he'd gotten himself out of harder situations. He was a reporter, after all. And he has put himself in the line of fire several times.

When he arrived, he was told to enter the locker room. When he did, they were all there, waiting for him—not just the guys that worked both the front end and the secret operation, but even the ones that worked only for the operation. Just as he was thinking he'd have to use some of his smooth talk to get him out of this, they said they were ready to come clean. He was relieved, confused, and suspicious all at once.

Carl, the big boss, said he'd found a few of the bugs. He said they'd talk and tell him everything, but only on one condition. He was asked for his camera. He gave it to them. Carl then walked up to him and just coldly stared at him. His eyes were concentrating through the icy blue-gray and compressing his pupils into the cold and steely barrels, ready to go off at any second. Carl inhaled as he moved his hand up. This caused Steve to flinch. Carl only nodded his head to the side and gently clasped his fingers on the front zipper of Steve's uniform. He moved his thumb and index finger in circles around the silver head, a glinting shadow sharply cutting through the faded darkness in between Carl's motions. Then he just moved his hand down, bringing the zipper with it. The descending sound of jagged teeth opening up could be heard as either side of Steve's uniform became looser and sank into soft, blue wrinkles. Steve's body was slowly escaping into the light. Once the zipper was down to Steve's navel, Carl told him to pull his right arm out. Steve did as he was told, gently sweeping the material over his shoulder. His hand pulled from under his sleeve, and as Steve pushed it open further so he could free his arm, his uniform was now pushed off the side of his body.

This is when Carl took hold of Steve's arm and brought him to the showers. He was told to face the corner. With his heart beating fast, sweat building up into shuddering droplets and sliding down his tanned and bare skin, Steve was thinking this might be it. Carl told him to put his hand that was out of his uniform up on the tiled wall, and then Steve could hear the flashing of his camera. While that was going off, Carl took hold of the uniform and gently pulled it down, opening it up further. Steve felt the air against his bare back as it whispered further down his skin and then slipped up and over the firm roundness of his buttocks. Carl kept opening it up further, exposing Steve's entire backside as the camera kept flashing. The quick gasps of light were blinking open the shape of the back muscles and how they softened into the supple circles of the full and firm roundness of Steve's ass. They told him that if he was going to expose them, he would have to run these pictures in the newspaper first, so he could feel what it was like to be exposed.

[found-under-fern]

Made a silly lil poly flag to hang in my cosy poly living room, coz I'm proud of my silly lil cosy poly life 💛💙🩷💜

[nakedwilbur]

He struggled to understand what had just happened to him. A bit shy and not much of a dancer he had held a low profile the entire night, looking after the table while his friends were busy out on the dancefloor. Then out of nowhere he found himself surrounded by a bunch of angry looking guys and a girl pointing and yelling at him, accusing him of harassing and groping her while they were dancing. His attempt to explain that he had been sitting here the whole night and that they must have the wrong guy were ignored. Before he had any chance to react the guys yanked him up from the table and dragged him out to the back alley. There they wrestled him to the ground, forcible stripped him of his clothes, and pushed him through a door into the neighboring building.

Now he found himself sitting stark naked in a gay bar trying to explain the crazy story. Both the staff and the guest all seemed sympathetic towards him, but no one was in any hurry to help him cover up and apparently they didn’t find his clothes outside. If he had turned around, however, he would have seen the owner of the bar talking to one of his assaulters, paying him off and thanking him for jet another decent “delivery”. The man was really pleased with himself. Having good looking, innocent, straight boys turning up stark naked at his bar had been real boost for the business.

[embarrassedanon]

“Oh my god my shorts are too bogged down with water! This is so embarrassing. I didn’t mean for everyone at the pool to see my ass like this!”

[counselor2017]

They thought it was funny. Playing a game of Strip Football. It kept them loose and the camaraderie high. That is... until their Coach caught them one day. And agreed with their sentiment.

They were so embarrassed. All they could do was stutter and cover their growing cocks. But the Coach definitely agreed that they should continue as they were.

In fact, he agreed so much that he now required them to be naked at every practice! And it didn't matter if the Cheerleading Team, the Track Team, and the Marching Band were also practicing on the field at the same time. Their cocks were no longer private.

The Coach wanted them loose, he wanted them close, and he wanted them naked. And if the rest of the University happened to see them too then oh well. Maybe he can convince the Board to let them play their games naked too!