#relationshipanarchy

[relationshipsway]

7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other - and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

[relationshipsafecute]

"You are killing US with YOUR jealousy"

So far I have enlightened the world with my thoughts on jealousy and self-esteem. I want to clear up any misunderstandings that may have some male people thinking that I am targeting only women here. Jealousy and self-esteem issues also can imprison men as well as women. No one is excused from real human emotions. Emotions know no face, color, size or gender. There are two victims here, not just one.

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

I also feel that I have neglected to reveal how the other party involved in a relationship that suffers from jealousy or self-esteem issues also suffers.

A relationship is a partnership. It is a commitment made between two people, in that we will stand by each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, when it is a jealousy issue, both parties are effected. We tend to focus on the person that is trapped in the prison of worry, more than the other person that is caught in the line of fire, partly because we need to free that side first, then we can help heal the other.

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

Well I am now going to share that persons prison of hell as well.

To be accused and mistrusted by the one you love is a hardship and a definite pain that one cannot bear for a long time. They eventually either walk away or take a stand and call out to you, (the attacker) to please stop; to please listen to what you are saying and accusing them of.

Time after time they try so hard to reassure you that they do love you and that they are not interested nor lusting for anyone else. When they try to tell you that it is all in your mind, they risk getting attacked more for defense. It is no doubt a vicious circle. They become paranoid that no matter where they are, you are already convinced that they have betrayed you in some way. They wait for the shoe to drop. Some times it takes a few days, some times it drops immediately. Never the less they have to sit by and worry about when it will drop. They fear that this time they will not be able to say the right thing. They fear we will get even more depressed and irrational with what they say to us. They begin to feel, "damned if they do, and damned if they don`t". I personally hate that feeling. To think that I myself would put someone in that position makes me want to run away faster than Forrest Gump.

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

The neglect you put on that person through your jealous insecurities is as real to them as your feelings of being trapped in your prison of doubt. There are many scenarios as to why jealousy rises up inside people, but for the innocent ones that really do not ever do anything to trigger that fear inside you, they are the innocent victims. People that have come to the point of identifying their issues and have began to deal with them, please remember the other person that is there with you. They too need special attention, because they have shared your fears and your pain. In a much different way, never the less, they still ache. Jealousy can destroy so many good things in ones lives. It can destroy our mate, through you, it kills the one thing that you love deeply. The worst part about it is, that you allow it. You must stop. Would you take a gun and shoot your mate? NOT!! So then why are you allowing this emotion to torture what is so dear to you? I repeat, as long as your mate is not responsible for your fears or if they have made amends and are trying to make things better, then please understand their pain of being mistrusted. When they see you in pain and they are being told it is because of them, they crumble. Your mate loves you as much as you love them, and to feel they are responsible for your trapped feelings eats them up inside. To see you smile and feel totally loved makes them feel good about themselves in that they are responsible for that smile. That is a good feeling all the way around.

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

Also be careful not to fall into that habit of being unhappy through jealous feelings. Understand where they are coming from. Are you using them as a reason to get attention? Again, a wrong kind of attention. If you cannot get the right attention you feel you are lacking, then talk to your partner. Do not let jealous emotions take over and confuse what you really are trying to say. Any weakness in your mind is a direct route for negative feelings to travel through. Once they get there, they work very quickly at bringing you down. So be aware of what exactly you are feeling.

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

I hope that I have at least opened up some thoughts in your minds as to what else is going on in a relationship that is plagued by jealousy. Both sides are equally being torchered and killed. We need to LIVE, LOVE & LAUGH more often with each other. Oh and lets not forget my favorite thing to do…HUGGGGGG!!!!

One thought from my heart to yours:

Say this outloud:

"I am always ready to risk. I am always ready to learn. I am always ready to test my strength, and so I put my worries aside and just live!"

Get Free Good Advice for a good and long relationship help

[queerineverysense]

🌈 Celebrating 10 years since coming out - my first step toward authenticity! 🎉 

Join me in reflecting on the intricate dance of love, pain, and self-discovery that shaped my journey. From overcoming trauma to evolving identities, this milestone marks a decade of growth. 🌱✨ Dive into the blog post – a heartfelt account of turning points, supportive networks, and the power of self-reflection. Let's inspire each other on the path to authenticity! 🌟

Visit Coming Out Journey: Navigating a Decade of Love, Self-Discovery, and Resilience - Queer In Every Sense for the full article and take a look at our other content (advocacy, art, fiction, poetry, and entertainment reviews).💖 

✨ Your support means the world! 🌈 If my journey resonates with you, give it a ❤️ and share your thoughts below. Let's create a space for connection and authenticity. Have your own story to share? Drop it in the comments – I'd love to hear from you! 🌟💬

Special Thank You to the content creators who have helped me along the way! We may not know each other personally, but you have absolutely impacted my life and I will forever be grateful for your vulnerability and content.

[awellreadman]

One of the most valuable tings we learn from open sexual lifestyles is that our programming about love, intimacy, and sex can be rewritten. - Janet W. Hardy & Dossie Easton

[relationshipsafe]

How relationship work ?

Relationships are complex and multifaceted, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to how they work. However, there are some fundamental principles that often contribute to healthy and fulfilling relationships:

There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial. It involves not only expressing your own thoughts and feelings but also actively listening to your partner. Effective communication helps build understanding and trust.

Mutual Respect: Respecting each other's opinions, boundaries, and autonomy is vital. Healthy relationships thrive on a foundation of mutual respect, where both individuals feel valued and appreciated.Trust: There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Trust is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It takes time to build and can be easily damaged. Being reliable, keeping promises, and demonstrating integrity help nurture trust.Compromise:

Relationships often require compromise. Finding middle ground on various aspects, such as decision-making, activities, and future plans, helps maintain balance and harmony. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Support: Being supportive of each other's goals, aspirations, and challenges strengthens the bond. Whether it's emotional, moral, or practical support, knowing that your partner has your back fosters a sense of security.

Quality Time: Spending quality time together is essential. This doesn't always mean grand gestures; even small, regular moments of connection contribute to relationship health. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Individual Growth: Allowing each other room for personal growth and pursuing individual interests is crucial. Healthy relationships encourage individual development alongside shared experiences.

Shared Values: While differences can be enriching, having shared values and goals helps create a sense of unity and alignment in the relationship.

Conflict Resolution: Conflicts are inevitable, but how they are handled matters. Constructive conflict resolution involves addressing issues calmly, actively listening to each other, and finding solutions together. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

Intimacy: Intimacy goes beyond physical aspects and includes emotional, intellectual, and spiritual connections. Cultivating intimacy requires vulnerability, trust, and a willingness to be open with each other . It's important to recognize that relationships require effort and continuous attention. They evolve, and adaptability is key. Additionally, every relationship is unique, so what works for one couple may not work for another. Understanding and respecting each other's needs and differences is integral to a successful and lasting relationship. If challenges arise, seeking the guidance of a relationship counselor or therapist can provide valuable support. There’s a relationship “secret ingredient” that a man craves in order to feel intense, committed love. Without it, he will always keep one foot out the door.

[relationshipsure09]

Simple Words & Phrases That Capture His Heart

New video reveals how to speak your man in a language that touches a primal inner part of his mind and become a constant source of excitement, interest, and pursuit for him.

You'll discover how to understand him on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say affect him much more than you might think.

When you know how to do this, you'll be able to deeply connect with a man, and powerfully attract him.

Click Here To Watch The Video Now!

[relationship7022]

Building Your Confidence in Dating Women

When it comes to dating (or even seducing) a woman, confidence is vital. Women often equate “self confidence” with the ability to be successful. While many men believe that women look for successful men because they’re likely to make more money, that’s simply not true.

While it’s a given, women actually look for successful men because they’re more likely to be satisfied. So you may be wondering what a man being satisfied has to do with anything. Let me explain. You see, women know that men who are satisfied with themselves are less likely to go out looking for someone to satisfy them and are more stable.

Lern More

And in a relationship that means a man will be less likely to cheat, or change jobs frequently or get himself into any number of other compromising situations. Remember that most women are looking for a man who will be their partner as well as their lover.

Not only do they want a partner when it comes to things like companionship, decision-making and finances, but in the bedroom, as well. In order to effectively seduce a woman you must make her feel as though you’re both equals.

When it comes to confidence, it seems there are two kinds of people - those who have it and others who simply don’t. Although on the surface this may be true, everyone has the potential to be “self confident”, or motivated if you would like to call it.

Lern More

Take heart in knowing that you’re a good person, smart, funny, good at your job, loving, considerate or whatever else you find to be positive character traits that you have. Be comforted to know that NOT all women are looking for a CEO or brain surgeon. They just want a man who’s confident with who he is, what he knows and what he has to offer to a relationship with them! l

[relationshiptec]

The Missing Link In Every Relationship

Sex? Communication? Romantic Dates?

All these things are important, but a breakthrough new video reveals the surprising factor that can make ALL the difference in a relationship and few, if any women (or men) are even aware of it!

The key is understanding men on a deep emotional level, and how the subtle things you say to a man affect him much more than you might think.

If you're frustrated with your man going cold, losing interest, or pulling away, then this video is a must watch:

Click Here To Discover What Men Secretly Want, But They Could Never Tell You. Click link below pic

[joybees-world]

#selfcentered not selfish #relationshipanarchy

[love-revised]

Love is not pie. You won't run out. Love is Pi. Real, irrational, and never-ending. Happy Pi Day, Love Rebels! loverevised.org Skilled alternative relationship coaching.

[walkawayinsin]

Dear monogamous people

Before you start dating a non-monogamous consider this: We're not your go-to when you're single. We're not into casual automatically. It's not always about the sex - doesn't even have to involve sex overall. It's about connecting. It's about love. It's about the freedom to love.

Being interested isn't enough. You need to understand your own responsibility when you're dating someone who isn't monogamous.

Dating with the purpose to convert someone from non-monogamy to monogamy is as bad as if we were forcing non-monogamy on you guys.

Be clear about your intentions, your boundaries, your view on the relationship. Communication is the key.

If you've had bad experience with non-monogamy reconsider how much it affects you in the present situation. Are you truly desiring to try out non-monogamy again (knowing the situation might be different) or are you just purely ignorant about it at the moment because you're on cloud nine? Falling in love with someone doesn't equal you're practically going to work as a couple. Just because they are poly it doesn't mean that they're okay with simply cuddling and sex.

Don't date or even be involved with non-monogamous if you can't handle their choice of relationship-lifestyle. We deserve commitment, respect and honesty as much as monogamous counterparts.

[relationshipsafecute]

[sistazai]

That platonic love I’m on about? The @wokescientist just broke it down! . . Posted @withregram • @wokescientist An updated concise guide to relationship anarchy - • For more accessible writing & graphics breaking down how we apply politics into our daily life➕to get any questions answered - ✨Subscribe to my newsletter Cosmic Anarchy on wokescientist.substack.com • Sign up for 1 on 1 coaching/ mentorship sessions & consultations at ✨ ayesha-khan.com All links in bio! —————— 🌹Why consider a paid subscription? You get full access a weekly newsletter than lands in your inbox every Monday, can submit questions over a portal that are answered in a monthly FAQs edition, get access to monthly group healing sessions & more community building resources. Alternatively- to just support my work, donate to 🔹 Cashapp $ayeshakhan4 🔹PayPal.me/ayeshakhan4 • Economic justice is critical to sustaining our movements. 100% of the funds from here & the newsletter go to mutual aid efforts supporting houseless folks in Santiago, Chile (where I currently live) —————— feel free to share- just tag & credit me ✨ to help counter shadowban SAVE > SHARE > COMMENT/ LIKE —————— 1️⃣ This is a list of select principles of relationship anarchy but you can find more info linked in my bio under the “Anarchy Resources” folder 2️⃣ Check out parts I and II of the Anarchy 101 series posts by me and @recycletherich2 to get more foundations on anarchism 3️⃣ There is a Anarchy FAQs resource linked in my bio as well if you want to learn more • • • • • #relationshipanarchy #anarchism #anarchist #anarchists #abolish #abolition #abolitionist #abolitionnow #abolitionistapproach #collectivism #powerdynamics #anarchocommunism #leftist #leftism #leftists #attachmenttheory #attachmentstyles #liberationtheology #collectiveliberation #communalliving #leftistunity #secureattachment #childhoodtrauma #weneedeachother #abolishthestate #abolishpolice #abolishprisons #prisonabolition #endcapitalism #abolishcapitalism https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca5MyQXB2Qd/?utm_medium=tumblr

[dinopoly-rawr]

What the Dinos show us here? That the philosophy of relationship anarchy is about building relationships with individuals, not based on expectations or demands, but on mutual consent. Those relationships are not defined by what we might consider normal, given a certain label or situation, but based on the wish to find an authentic overlap in connection - your mutual yes! Communicating (explicit) consent by creating those unique and individual relationships is at the core, therefore every relationship will need to have the same foundation of honesty, transparency, compassion and trust in order to create your ‚personal right‘ together 🤗 ————————————————— #poly #relationship #relationshipanarchy #polyamorous #polyamory https://www.instagram.com/p/CDE58bIpigG/?igshid=qe1qmjxt2o16

[relationship7022]

A Report on the Scenario of UK Adult Personals and Adult Dating Web Sites

Computers and the Internet have had a tremendous impact on society. Together they have become the dominant aspect within our social, business and personal lives, and have completely altered our cultural landscape. From accessing information to shopping, from sharing email to finding life partners, everything is now possible online. Essentially we have created a new world: the virtual world. Let's explore one of the new features emerging from these integral tools that have become so essential to our lifestyle:

Many of the oldest social activities revolved around finding a life partner. Balls, parties, dinners, social gatherings; they all offered an opportunity to meet that someone special. But life has become increasingly fast-paced and online dating has joined the ranks of online shopping because of the convenience it offers. Though initially online dating was limited to searching and matching user profiles, it has since grown beyond this painstaking ritual. Every day, the online dating industry is exploring new terrain for growth, and has become so vast that it would be impossible to pen to paper its current breadth. There are few limits as to what you can accomplish within an online dating site - it is a service that brings results.

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interested in your relationship

The UK is one of the most developed nations in Europe, with a long social history and strong political ties to the USA - which has naturally affected their socio-cultural environment in minor but noticeable ways. One might assume that the growing popularity of adult dating in the UK is derived from the immense growth of the same industry in the US, which is saturated with online dating options. Another explanation may be simply that the days are gone when people are confined to pubs, night clubs, or other social arenas if they want to meet someone new. Now it is as simple as logging on to a UK adult personals web site, comparing your preferences to other members and finding an attractive prospect, messaging a bit online and then taking it to the physical realm with an in-person meeting. It s that easy!

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interested in your relationship

Whether we're looking at the UK, the USA or another country, sex is an inevitable urge of being human. This closed-door affair was a matter of privacy in the past, but as people deem adult dating sites to be a safe and efficient domain for meeting others they feel encouraged to share their identities, urges and feelings. Now, if you're convinced to give adult online dating a chance the next challenge is sifting through the numerous dating sites for UK personals. I recommend Kisscaf (www.Kisscafe.com) if you want a a truly positive and satisfying experience.

The secret ingredient to keeping your man focused and interested in your relationship

About Kisscaf Kisscaf (www.KissaCafe.com) is one of the fastest growing social networking and dating websites in the World Wide Web. The best aspect of this dating service provider is that all the exclusive service features (which other popular networking sites provide as subscribed services) absolutely FREE. Currently Kisscaf (www.KissCafe.com) has 22 international websites and plans to launch even more sites in additional countries. Efficient Instant Messenger, multilingual capabilities and advanced profile search technology has made Kisscaf one of the leading online dating service providers on the Web. Kisscaf (www.KissCafe.com) member blogs are a great source of interesting posts related to the dating industry, including dating advice, personal stories and much more. For more details, you can log in to their site and compare their services with other dating sites.