#era: binary code

[dontbotheraziraphale]

I dont want david tennant to ever abandon his current fashion era. Fuzzy stripes and non-binary pin during the day, Crowley-coded genderless fuckery by night. Need to be able to count on this for years to come

[mitski-solos]

gay rep in gaming and in kcd2: A Rant

Ok, I'll try to make this as cohesive as possible, but remember that this is a rant after all, so excuse any possible mistakes or typos.

The gay representation in KCD2 is genuinely the most well-done, realistic representation that I've seen in gaming so far. There are multiple types of representation that I see in games, so let's break down what they are, why they do or don't suck and how exactly the KCD2 Hansry romance is superior.

Type N1) forced mechanical bisexuality.

In most RPGs, or really any games where you choose your own romantic interest, there is no gender-based limit on who can romance who, to allow a fully immersive experiance, tho I feel inclined to point out that this mechanic was introduces to gaming quite accidentally during the early era of gaming, when everything was still pixilated to all hell, they js didn't think to add a code prohibiting same-sex relationships cz developers didn't take their existanse into accaount at all, but then some players discovered it was a possibility and that's how mechanical-bisexuality became an almost industry standard, scince it opens up a wider market for the game without feeling "threatning" to the true consumers which everything was marketed towards(str8 white men).

Now, why do I call it "mechanical" bisexuality, u may ask? Well, bc it truly is just that. Mechanical. No character in that game i truly bi, it's solely a mechanic that's easier for developers and more convenient for gamers.

A good example of that would be Stardew Valley. I don't remember which bachelorette it is exactly, but as you romance them, you meet their ex, and the sex of the ex is the same as that of the player. So if you're male, the ex will also be male, if ur female, the ex will also be female. So no bisexuality for you. But ig you could still count it as "gay" rep, even tho for me even that feels very technical and mechanical, as none of it feels actually gay, there is no discussion or reference to sexuality and the weight of being in a gay reletionship is never brought up even if the setting of the game is on earth and not some fantasy world where being gay is considered totally ok and gay ppl arent treated any differently from str8s.

And well, since I brought up fantasy worlds, let's talk abt type N2) gay rep in fantasy.

This can be very well done or absolutely terrible, depending on the writing and premise, and I feel like we can use Dragon Age as the perfect example for both ends of the spectrum.

So I actually haven't played Dragon Age, so my wording or explanations may not be perfect, but bear with me. 

So from what I've heard and know abt the game, the gay rep in old games is great and the way they treat gender is very tasteful and generally well done, at least I've never heard anybody complain. Tho is the newest game, it's... well, let's just say it's not the best. You get this nonbinary character and they spend a lot of time bitching and moaning abt coming out to their mom even tho nothing up to that point has made them feel like their mom wouldn't support them or anything. and look, you may call this good rep cuz oh hey its a real life struggle that they are going thru right? But NO! bc it's the very fantasy setting where being gay is totes cool and ok that i mentioned a second ago and it's not treated the same way as on earth, so taking this character from a utopian fantasy world where even the lable "nonbinary" shouldn't exist bc there is no binary in the first place and projecting this earthly struggle onto them as a sorry excuse for representation feels forced and increadibly boring. Also, some other conversations in the game abt gender were incredibly cringe and also felt very forced, but maybe they were out of context or smth idk but whatever the case may be, it's a separate issue, so let's move on.

type N3) canon gays

So, most of the time, I love all the canon gays in gaming and any media in general.

In gaming, canon gays r mostly in big story games. Like, the first most obvious ones coming to mind would be Ellie and Dina from The Last of Us, or Mileena and Tanya in MK1. Tho those are the only straight up gay gay all up in ur face gay couples that I can think of from AAA games that I've played, so there isn't enough of this type of rep out there. Tho I feel it is the best and most "true" rep in gaming that is the most enjoyable for players AND could be more eye-opening and redeeming for any homophobes playing the game.

So now that all of that is out of the way, you may say, well, aren't Henry and Hans just another case of the so-called mechanical bisexuality? And to that I'll say a very confident no. 

Let's tackle Henry's sexuality first. In both the first and second game, he can get with various women, not even mentioning all the trips to bathhouses, and the only men Henry can get with are Black Bartosch and Hans. The sole existence of the Black Bartosch option is, I feel like, an argument enough to Henry's true bisexuality, but if you choose to turn him down, you need to choose an option saying "I prefer women", so some may argue that there! He said it himself! But there is a second piece of evidence in the game that confirms his sexuality to be canonically bi. When you get to Kutttenberg, one of the first side quests you can do is "A Good Scrub" in which you help the new bathhouse owner Betty safely transport her bathhouse wenches from some inn to the bathhouse. While on the road, you can talk to them and at some point they'll ask you if you prefer tits or ass(game of the year type convos am i right?) and u could either staight up answer ass or tits or you could try to evade answering the question, and if you choose the last option, the girl will joking ask henry "are you sure your don't prefer boys?" and that gets Henry INCREADIBLY flustered, he starts stuttering and can't fully deny it and just mutters a quiet, frustrated "fuck" at the end. Yall that's not a reaction of a str8 person, it's a reaction of a queer man that's just been clocked. Don't even try to deny it.

Now onto Hans. We do see terribly little of him and his interactions with other ppl, but there is still very strong evidence for his bisexuality, which is a book that you find under his bed in the Devil's Den, titled "A Collection of Somewhat Bawdy Poems". It's literally just a book with a bunch of homoerotic poems in it, I'm not ever kidding. Here are all of em so you get the full picture:

"My love for you is heartfelt.

You can tell from my unbuckled belt.

My mind is troubled badly

by one question above all:

When will my lover fondly

caress my left ball?

"Love thy neighbour", saith Our Lord.

And I took it to heart.

I started to fulfil His word,

at least in their southern part.

My heart is mourning dejectedly.

Even my hand rejected me!

By day and night I think of you,

I shall love you always.

My heart is faithful, loyal and true,

Though my body sometimes strays.

A knight in battle attire

got into bed with his squire.

Instead of conquering forts,

They played with each other's swords."

That last part I highlighted is literally them ARE YOU SERIOUSSSSS. Now I did see someone on Reddit saying that the book appears in the room before Hans ever moves in, but let's be so honest for a second, in a game as detailed as KCD2, that book being specifically under HANS'S bed is no coincidence, even if it appeared earlier than Hans himself. The devs knew what they were doing. and that book is still there whether you romance Hans or not, so call me delusional if you want, but for me, that's evidence enough.

Now, onto the most important part: why is Hansry so good?

In my purely subjective opinion, I think that if KCD2 was a story game instead of an RPG, it would be a type N3 representation, and Hansry would be the canon couple. Henry undeniably has the most connection and chemistry with Hans. He doesn't interact with Katherine much and it does feel like they're more good friends-at-arms than anything, and at the end of the game, Henry himself jokes that she's too old for him, and ugh don't even get me started on Rosa. Henry literally barely interacts with her, her romance option is so weird to me fr.

I also think that Hansry was planned, or at least thought of and acknowledged by the devs from the very beginning of the franchise. The way they interact in the first game can VERY easily be interpreted as flirting and they're literally your textbook example of the enemies-to-friends-to-lovers troupe. So with the foundation that the first game gives us, their eventual romance is very believable and realistic, it doesn't feel like one of those gay relationships that was never meant to be but was basically "pushed" into canon by fans, ykwim?

So for me what makes their couple such great rep is how even without the gay relationship, they remain queer men, their sexuality isn't purely mechanical. Their relationship doesn't feel flat or forced, like it often happens with optional gay romances. And even without ever acknowledging the weight of their relationship, it feels natural and not like the devs didn't wanna discuss gay stuff yk? Like in early game Henry can literally fuck some girl (i dont remember her name srry:3) out in the open - in a forest, but he specifically locks the door before kissing Hans. After the kiss, Hans looks worried and scared and apologises bc he knows that he, as a man, literally just kissed his dear friend, another man, and he doesn't know how Henry will react to it, and that's why he's so worried. And through these little details, the game acknowledges the weight of their relationship without them ever having to sit down and talk abt it, or the game having to address it, and that's what good writing is! It's refreshingly realistic.

[littlelambscandyland]

My Baby, All Mine

Yan!Cg!Dhawan!Master x Little!Fem!Reader

Summary- The Master never admitted he cared for you, never even treated you kindly. How could he be so stupid? He didn’t do any of it right and then you were gone, dead. Whatever, it doesn’t matter now… He has you back and this time he isn’t going to let his little girl suffer. So many years to make up for. Don’t worry your papa’s never going to let you be hurt ever again… Well, he would be able to if you weren’t suddenly so stubborn. (4,950 Words)

Notes- I'm so sorry to my non-binary and boy readers, I'm in my pink girly era apparently and can't seem to get out of writing female reader stuff. Also I'm sorry if you hate pink, as for mentioned, pink girly era. I still love you all, I promise! I'll venture out again one day soon, maybe, hopefully. Also I don't mean to show so much of a bias for Dhawan!Master but he's the easiest for me to write and he's so girl dad coded.

Warnings-Reader briefly dies, Unhealthy friendships, Past abuse(ish), The Master being unstable, The Master being a bit delusional, Temporary Amnesia, Telepathy, Slight Dissociation, Forced Age Regression, Forced Toddler Regression, Implied Onesies, Pacifiers, Implied Pull-ups (just being worn)

It was your body that really disturbed him. So many regenerations, so many years, and now you were just… Gone. Of course, at first he walked it off. He didn’t need you, he didn’t care that you were dead, but your cold eyes kept creeping into his thoughts. Your face covered in blood and completely empty. He’d pace the TARDIS just trying to get a single thought in that wasn’t your lifeless form. Then, like it was scripted he started to remember every little memory he’s ever had with you. All the good, the bad, and all the in-betweens. He kept hearing your voice, your laughter, your childlike praise. He remembered how you were always so amazed by things, by him. Hundreds of years had passed and you still looked at the universe with such wonder, at him with such wonder. He never deserved you… He abandoned you, he insulted you, berated you for things that weren’t your fault, he’d hurt you, and he’d do it over and over again without a single thought. You were so sweet, you were so loving, you never judged him, and despite his actions you never showed him anything other than that adorable smile. He couldn’t bear it.

Four months he’s gone without you, he can’t do it anymore. Everything is plagued by you. He can’t conquer a planet, he can’t read a damn book, he can’t eat or sleep, he can’t even torment the Doctor without thinking about you. His poor, clever, beautiful girl. He should’ve never held on so loosely. It’s alright now, he’s going to make it better. He’s going to fix this, even if he has to tear this entire universe apart to do it.

Honestly, you should be less surprised. It’s the Master, he’s a chaotic ball of hatred and knowledge. Emphasis on the chaotic part. He did weird things all the time, not that they weren’t always completely entertaining to watch. You shouldn’t be surprised that he’s bouncing around the TARDIS while there’s the head of a monster hanging above the fireplace. You do wonder how he got such a large creature's head up there. He claims it’s there to remind him of something very important, and that he’ll take it down soon. Whatever he wants, you suppose.

You wish you didn’t have such a large gap in your memory… Four months isn’t that long with how long you’ve lived, but it feels like you’re missing something important. Not to mention, you just really want to see how the hell he was able to take that beast down. The Master said you hit your head far too hard on one of your adventures. He keeps telling you to be happy it was only four months and not your whole life that you forgot. He’s got a bit of a point, but you still want to know what happened in between the trip to that annoying orange planet and waking up in your bed yesterday.

The Master seems different than he was before. He’s always smiling around you now. The same manic unstable look in his eyes, but they held something so much deeper than you can pinpoint. The way he looks at things, at you, borders on the line of obsession. There is a voice whispering in the back of your head telling you that he is acting entirely out of character. A voice whispering that something is very wrong. Sometimes you think he’s staring at you in remorse, and other times you can’t tell if he’s elated or wants to tear you to shreds. He won’t let you call him Master anymore, so you call him sir now. You don’t think he’s any happier with that title, but he seems less stiff than the multiple times you’ve slipped up and called him Master. You think something might’ve happened between you both during those months you’ve forgotten, or maybe something happened to him…

It’s only been a day since you’ve woken up. Maybe you were just reading into things. Your head did still feel kind of fuzzy.

Even now you still feel like you're a bit unstable. You believe the Master when he says you hit your head because there is no other reason you can find for the extremely painful headache you’ve had since waking up. You’re dizzy, and tired, and you feel like you may be going insane with how nauseous you’ve been feeling. Watching the Master bouncing around the control panel flicking switches, typing coordinates, and pulling levers definitely doesn’t make you feel any better.

You suppose it’s a good thing he didn’t let you go on his most recent outing…

“Darling!” The Master calls out to you.

“Hm?!” You jolt from his loud voice and proximity.

There’s another thing to note. He calls you a bunch of pet names now.

“Where did you go in that little head of yours?” He asks, leading you to sit on the couch with him.

There’s another, he keeps calling you or random things a part of you little or tiny.

You’ve learned years ago lying to him only causes trouble, so you answer him truthfully. “I was wondering why you’re acting so weird… Or at least weirder than normal.”

The Master laughs, almost bitterly. “Of course you would notice.” He whispers while looking down and shaking his head. “You’ve always been too clever for your own good, of course you would notice my change in behavior.”

“Mast-” You cut yourself off when his head shoots up to glare at you. “Sir… Is, is everything okay? Did something happen? Did, uh, did I do something?”

Your anxiety was starting to bubble over now that he practically confessed to acting differently.Now that you knew it wasn’t all in your head, you begin to wonder what could’ve happened. You curse your brain for not letting you remember.

The Master sighs and lets out another one of his sad laughs. “You didn’t do anything wrong… You never do…” His eyes dart around for a second as he thinks. His eyes finally come back to your face. They have that intense obsessive look swimming in them again. “I have something to show you.”

Before you have a chance to question him, he’s jumping off the couch and bounding towards the halls with you being pulled along.

“Sir, please slow down… I don’t feel very well.” You plead, as your head starts pounding and your stomach churns.

He looks back at you before slowing his strides. In a matter of moments you went from being dragged to walking hand in hand next to him.You’re nervous for what he wanted to show you, knowing him it’ll probably be something horrific, but it was nice to walk hand in hand with him. You haven’t gotten a lot of physical contact since joining the Master all those years ago. Well, you had some but it was all violent.

The walk is silent. A bit tense, but along the way the Master regains his previous excitement. He’s got a slight bounce in his step like he did earlier. You can tell he’s trying increasingly hard not to start dragging you down the hall. It freaks you out a bit, you’ve never seen him so genuinely happy before. He’s had manic streaks of joy throughout his different faces, but it was all due to the instability in their head. This, this was so pure, or at least it seems so. You wish you understood what happens in his head.

When you finally come to a stop, the two of you stand in front of a door right next to the Master’s bedroom. You’ve never actually been inside his room, but you’ve dropped off plenty of things for him when he’s barricaded himself inside. The door you stand in front of is a very pastel pink and it has a pastel(ish) rainbow painted across it. There are colorful stars scattered over the wood. It’s rather cute in your opinion. Maybe a bit childish, but hey you’ve always had a more kidish style and personality. Who were you to judge?

You look over at the Master and almost jumpscared by the intensity of his stare. It was like he’s actively trying to look into your very soul. Was he trying to read your mind? More accurately, was he reading your mind?

His face went from his intense stare into a painfully wide grin. “Open the door.”

“Okay?” You draw the word out while taking hold of the golden handle.

You open the door a bit slower than you think he wanted, but you were nervous to see what was behind it. You have to walk inside a bit more to open it all the way. Once the door is open wide enough, you look around. Honestly, the room was adorable. It was also way bigger than the one you’re staying in. You’re not jealous. 

There’s a large bed… That has what looks like the bars of a hospital bed but taller; kind of like a crib but not quite. You aren’t all that sure why they had that, but whatever. The bedspread is baby pink and there are a multitude of stuffed animals organized delicately on top. The walls are almost identical to the door; a very light pastel pink with the same rainbow and colorful stars, but more stretched and fitted for the room.

There’s a false window showing off a garden that had flowers and birds. Right by the “window” sits a large very comfy looking arm chair. A 3-tier bookshelf sits under the window and holds so, so many thin books that you couldn’t read the titles of them from where you stood. There are some thicker ones, you think you noticed the Wizard of Oz on there. There’s a carpet sitting in front of the chair and bookshelf; it has little roads and buildings on it. It’d be perfect to play with cars on. 

There’s a dresser sitting in front of the bed. It’s long and has more white than the light colored wood that seems more like an accent color at this point. On top of the dresser sat a few knicknacks and toys. In the center there was a really big tv. You’re not jealous. There are two doors on both sides of the dresser. One door was slightly ajar and you think it might be a closet because you see what you think is a sequin dress. The other door is shut and you didn’t really understand the circles on it, but with the time you’ve spent with the Master you think it’s Gallifreyan.

There are several more items and pieces of furniture scattered around the bedroom. None as eye catching as what you’ve spent the last minute analyzing. The large chest is simple but nice. The long table-looking-bed that has lots of drawers and looks like it belongs in a nurses office or a hospital confuses you. The giant bean bag in the corner looks super squishy. The bedside table looks simple and has locks on the drawers. The taller bookshelf that is built into the wall has way too many things on it for you to note all of it this second.

You wonder what this room was for, and the panic rises in you again. Did the Master adopt a kid or something? Oh God, was he going to tell you that you have to leave now? Did he want you to help care for the kid? You aren’t responsible enough for that! Why is he showing you this?

“Do you like it?” His voice sounds excited and nervous; a rare combination for him.

You only just realize he’s standing behind you, his hands on your shoulders. He’s leaning forward a bit and his chin is almost resting on your shoulder; if it wasn’t for his hand it would be. You try to look him in the eyes but can’t, so you turn back to look at the room.

“Why… Um, why are you showing me this?” Your voice comes out quiet, frightful.

You can feel his frown. Not physically, but it’s like you can feel it in the air. You don’t understand what’s going on. What is going on right now?

“It’s for you.”

You blink. “But, what’s it for? I mean what, what’s it supposed to do? Or, um, mean?”

It was his turn to blink at you in confusion. “You really don’t know?”

“Master, I'm not a mind reader like you…” You giggle as your nerves grow.

You feel him stiffen almost completely. His hands grip your shoulders a little tighter, and he stands up straight behind you. You turn to look behind you at him. His eyes are boring into your soul again. A look full of anger and sadness. The look you’re used to seeing on his face.

“Mast-”

“Stop.” He cuts you off. His hands cup your face, effectively tilting your head a bit to meet his eyes. “I… I’ve broken you…”

You shake your head. “You haven’t broken me.” An anxious laugh leaves your mouth as you speak.

“But, I have, dear.” The Master tells you, a broken laugh of his own accompanying his words. “I’ve broken you, beaten you down, and now you can’t even tell what an act of love looks like.”

“What act of love?” You laugh more. Why was he being so damn confusing?

“THIS!” He shouts at you, holding out his arms to the room around you. “I spent hours, days perfecting it to your perfect liking yet you can’t even tell it was made for you! You don’t even know what it is!” Despite the smile on his face you know it’s all in rage. The deranged cackle that accompanies it makes him sound like he’s on the verge of breaking himself.

“Sir…”

Normally you wouldn’t initiate physical contact when he’s like this, but concern for him overrides the potential punishment, and with the way he’s been acting you think it might help. Maybe? Just a little?

You put a hand on his chest. The fabric of his tie feels slightly cool. It warms quickly under your palm. He freezes, and so do you. You didn’t want to step too far, but he was scaring you. Something is wrong. Even if you are afraid you might anger him more, you want him to know that you still care. The Master suddenly slumps. His hands are thrown down by his sides and he looks defeated.

“What do you think you are to me?” His voice is quiet.

“I’m your…” Your eyebrows furrow. You watch as he takes your hand gently into one of his, still holding it close to his chest.

You didn’t want to say you were his friend. You insinuated that once and spent a week locked in your room with nothing to eat, good thing your bathroom has a sink… The second time you implied it he left you on an abandoned planet for 2 months. You didn’t want to say you were his employee. He didn’t pay you, and it felt too impersonal… You weren’t even close to being romantically involved. Sometimes he seemed almost fatherly to you, but you would never admit it out loud. You definitely looked up to him, he’s incredible, like a superhero (well a supervillain but who’s keeping track). He’s told you throughout several regenerations that he doesn’t care about you, so you really doubt any overly personal relationship is an answer you could give…

“It isn’t that hard to make a guess.” He seethes.

“I’m your… Companion… Like the Doctor has hers, but y’know,” You clear your throat. “Less emotions are involved…”

You don’t look at him. You stare in turmoil at his and yours intertwined hands. His hand tightened around yours the second you mentioned then Doctor, and tightened even more when you said “less emotions”. At this point he was close to crushing your hand with his.

“That,” The Master’s voice sounds emotional in a way you haven’t heard before. “Wasn’t the answer I was looking for… I suppose more, not what I was hoping for.” He laughed tightly. “You got close with one of those thoughts bouncing around in that head… You were far too focused on the past to give the answer I wanted.” He glares at the roof, lost in thought. “Guess this proves my point well enough then!” He breaks up again. His stressed smile drops. “I really have ruined you.”

You frown again. Why does he keep saying that? Really, it kind of hurts your feelings a bit.

“I’m not ruined.”

“No,” He agrees too quickly. “Not in the traditional sense. No, you’ve just forgotten what being loved and cared for is like… We can remedy that…  An easy fix really. You’ll be acting like a spoiled brat in no time.”

He grins with a look that screams delusion. You aren’t quite sure you were following his words right. You really want to say you understand, but you just don’t.

“Why don’t we start off slow, hm?” He asks, but it sounds more like a gleeful demand.

The Master pulls you towards him and throws you up and into his arms. When you don’t wrap your legs around him, he does it for you, manually bending each leg. You laugh in shock, and he saunters into the room further, kicking the door shut.

“Sir?”

“Shhhhhhhh…” He draws out the sound dramatically.

He lowers the bars and sets you down on the large bed leaving you to stare up at him from your newly seated position. He looks at you like he was searching for something again, then he bounds towards the closet door. He goes inside and you try to lean over to check what he’s doing. You don’t really get a chance to look because he marches out in just a few seconds with a purple something clothing in his hand.

You frown when he smiles at you. “Did you take something?” You ask abruptly.

You notice the bewilderment on his face.

“I’m only asking because there is something seriously wrong going on with you and it’s, it’s starting to scare me a bit… I mean you’re just acting really different and I’ve been with you for a long time now. I just- Did you get hit with like a poison dart, or hypnotized, or challenged, or I don’t know, cursed by a witch or something?”

The Master looks at you with so much shock and sorrow. “I just want to take care of you.” He says dismissively, losing all emotion in his face, and walking over to the weird looking table-bed.

“But, why? You’ve never felt the need to before.” You just wish he’d explain some more.

“That’s enough.” He sounds like an angry parent. “Stop questioning everything I do. Things are going to change and you don’t get a say in it unless it’s something actually useful.”

That sounds more like the Master you knew. You almost thought he was gone for a second.

You sigh in defeat. “I just want to understand.” You whisper. “You could at least explain things to me. Like… What’s changing? Why is it changing? What, exactly, do you need me to do? Just any information because I’m so confused.” You weren’t going to cry, but you damn well could right now.

All of this and your head and tummy still hurt.

The Master makes his way back around the side of the bed. He tosses some things next to the clothing on the bed, but he sits in front of the pile before you have a chance to see what they are. He stares at you for a moment before scooting closer and pulling you, rather awkwardly, into his arms. Once you finally settle, you’re positioned in his lap and still facing the room. You can feel how hard his hearts are beating in his chest. You don’t remember ever being able to feel his heartbeats before. It almost makes you smile. The Master rests his head on top of yours. 

“My precious girl…” He whispers into your hair. “Where should I start?” He trails off as he starts swaying the two of you side to side. “Hmmm, how about the answer I wanted you to give?”

You try to nod your head but can’t get far with the weight of his on it.

“The answer I wanted was my child.”

“Your what?” Your voice cracks.

“My child,” The Master states it so simply. “Like I said before, you got close with your little run-on thoughts. I do appreciate being seen as fatherly, well, at least to you.” He giggles wickedly. “Hm, now second, what is changing and why? The answer is everything. Your daily routine, your living arrangements, your diet and sleep, our interactions, the trips you’re allowed to go on. Honestly, I could go on for a while with this one so let’s move on to the why. The answer to that one is because I’ve had a very sudden, very aggressive change of heart… Towards you at least.” He holds you closer to his chest. “I’ve realized just how special you are dear, and I’ve realized just how much I need you in my life. I’ve woken up to the terror of not having you in my life and I never plan on doing that again.”

“What?”

“Just quiet for now, angel. What happened is in the past now… Now let’s see, what was that last question?” Before you can tell him he lets out a dramatic “ah ha”. “Yes, what do I need you to do? Hm, truly I’m not all that sure. Obviously I need you to continue to listen to me, follow the rules and schedules I set in place, accept your new role in the TARDIS, call me papa or daddy… Hm… Maybe I’m leaning more towards papa. Oh! Or you could always call me momma.” He says happily. “You’re not all that human anymore so their gendering of titles shouldn’t bother you too much anymore. Of course I won’t make you call me anything you don’t like, but as your parent I deserve the title of one.”

“Ma- Sir… You’re not my parent though…” You didn’t want to shatter his reality, but he was striking a nerve you didn’t even know you had before now.

“Yes, well, not biologically, but-”

Before he can finish you cut him off. “Not at all…” You frown and pull away from him. He grips you harder, but you still manage to get into an odd position that allows you to look at him. “We’ve spent years together and not one single time have you shown any care for me, let alone acted the way a parent would, unless that parent was abusive…” You were angry and shocked at the Master's words. His actions were disorienting and his speech was delusional. “I’m not trying to be cruel, but you have to realize that I can’t take things you do at face value. I know you too well to do that, and though I don’t know what you’re supposed to get out of this damned act, I don’t for a second buy that you just woke up one day and chose to care!”

The Master’s face holds barely contained rage. “You have no idea what I’m protecting you from.” He warns.

In an act of bitterness you say something you don’t actually mean. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it was your fault anyways.”

You’ve never spoken to him like this, and you didn’t know what possessed you to do it now. Unluckily for you the Master never seemed hesitant to put you back in your place.

The Master throws you against the bed. You’re silently glad that you didn’t land on one of the plushies with their glass eyes.

“Fine! Since you want to be so ungrateful” He hisses. “ I’ll remind you that I gave you a warning. And I’ll inform you that this is going to hurt.” He emphasizes his words with venom. “But, don’t for a single second pretend I didn’t try to keep you safe from this.”

The second his fingers touch your face your eyes slam closed. The pain that rips through your body is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. The feeling of flesh tearing and bones breaking. The pain mostly resonates in your stomach, in your head. It feels like you're being torn open and your head is being slammed into a wall. Images start flashing through your mind. The start of an adventure, the terror of a chase. A familiar looking monster, the same one the Master hung above the fire, snarls and snaps at you. Everything hurts and you’re so scared. You think you might be screaming but you can’t tell if it’s you now or you then. You can feel yourself dying all over again.

When your eyes open again you’re pressed tightly against the Master, laying on your side in his grip. Your whole body shakes, and you understand now what it’s like to experience pure agony. Your lungs feel like they’ve been filled with cement. You’re surprised you haven’t puked. All you can do is stare into the time lord's chest. No sobs leave your mouth. No words pass your lips. You can’t even move your arms if you wanted to.

“I know, love… Such a terrible thing.” He kisses your forehead and some of the pain starts to dull. “Do you see why I have to protect you now? I can’t have you dying on me like that all the time now. Clearly you aren’t strong enough for that kind of thing. Don’t worry, dear, papa’s going to take magnificent care of you.” The Master kisses your forehead again, lingering there for a moment. “That reminds me. Have to get you ready to go back to bed.” You didn't respond when he looked down at you, still too busy recalculating every moment. “Oh, yes so terrible I know, you’ve only been up for a few hours, but if you don’t rest up your body can’t heal.” He explains it like you’re a child, then again, to him you are. “Aren’t going to make this easy on me huh?”

He has a slightly sweet but mostly sadistic smile on his face. A grin that screams how proud he is of his victory over your minor argument.

The Master lifts you up, and if you had the ability you would scream out at the pain it causes. You fall straight into his chest, gaping like a fish as your lungs try to catch air. He rubs your back for what feels like, to you, several hours. Really it was only 4 minutes.

“I know, angel.” He pouts in an invalidating way. “As soon as we get you changed you can lay down and sleep away all this nasty stuff, okay?”

Every move he forces your body into feels like you’re being drowned in lava. Halfway through the process that you hadn’t been able to pay attention to, the pain started to become bearable. You feel something odd against your butt, it feels soft but cotton-y, padded. You have no energy to look down to see what the alien man is dressing you in. You have no energy to argue. And, aside from the weird padded thing, the fabric covering your legs to your arms and neck was incredibly comfy. 

When the time lord shuffles you around again you let out an involuntary whine. You didn’t think you’d be able to make a sound right now, so you startled yourself a bit. It isn’t that the movement is painful, though it is. The problem is the discomfort. It feels like you were being stretched and twisted into a pretzel. In just a few seconds the Master laid you back on your side. You almost let out a sigh of relief, but your lungs still don't feel like they have enough in them for that.

He settles back into the pink bed next to you. He tucks you in under the blankets and starts to draw you back into his chest, but stops. “Oh, I almost forgot!” The Master jumps out of the bed and disappears somewhere in the room. You stare at the mattress in his absence.

He rushes back and lays back down on his side facing you. You don’t get a chance to think of questioning his actions because you’re too busy being mortified by the paci he shoves into your mouth. You want to try and spit it back out but your mouth refuses to work with you.

The Master pulls you back against his chest, and despite how badly you wanted nothing to do with him at the moment, you relax under his hold. Though you don’t know if that was a conscious decision or your body doing what it needs to. His arms are warm. You find it grounding and soft the way he pets your hair down.

“Go to sleep, my darling girl. I’ll keep you safe.”

You don’t want to listen to him, but your eyes feel so heavy. He always has been a source of comfort even when he was the reason for your fear. You suppose it wouldn’t be too bad to give in to it just this once. You can go back to arguing with him about this insanity some other time. Right now, you can lay here, do your best to comprehend the trauma you’ve just remembered, enjoy the first bit of comfort you’ve been offered in years, and do your damndest to get some sleep.

[forsaken-headcanons]

It's normal to have more than one same character in forsaken world probably, considering when Elliot/Buildermen/Dusekkar requesting from other supporter that is same character as them,they didn't call them like "another me", "clone" or anything

I have a HC for this:

(Taken from a Dandy's world AU concept lol) Each character is technically like "species" (compared it to a group of animals of the same species,they all look identical to each other,but not like carbon copy type of similar)

They have similar skills and personality(like,all Shedletsky is good at swordfight and all Guest 1337 is good at fighting,but skill still vary in each of them) but with some difference in each one of them(some are more aggressive,some have different hobbies,some more calm and ect) they can also have some physical differences(different skin tone, hairstyle or eye colours,ect)

In rare cases,there can even be different genders of them (female/trans/non binary Shedletsky is possible)

But they all had same name,which would be awkward and hard to pinpoint which one you meant

To differentiate each other,they do it by adding no.,alphabet/code or skin name for each name (like Elliot 1, Elliot 2, Elliot 3. Dusekkar B3,Dusekkar D4. Rockstar Shedletsky,Artist Shedletsky,Chef Shedletsky) or the easiest one,nickname(a different name like one of the Elliot can be alternatively named themselves "Ellin" or smth like that)

And about canon friendship...well maybe they just naturally close with them most of the time whether they know them well or not,idk

(It's the same case for the killer btw)

That's all :3

-randomized anon

This concept is so interesting! The potential of skins being canon implies guardian angel Shedletsky could chat casually with like. .telamon or something . This sounds so intriguing, do you reckon characters from different eras( say ; retro Builderman ) would have a different way of speaking / different sounds?

[cursedwithcaution]

I’ve seen a trans hunter (FTM) head canon, and I want to know what the almighty Cursed thinks about it? Here is some theories fans have made around the headcanon incase you don’t know:

Caleb was trans, he wore trousers when he grew up, and due to the Era in which he did, people referred to him as a male, including Philip. (Though Philip knew Caleb was not a biological male)

When hunter was created, he was a female, and at some point found out he was trans and transitioned. Some people also head canon that Philip was trans too since he didn’t really ‘fit in’ in his home town. I personally like the head canon, and I think it could be possible (I know it isn’t canon) if you take into account his voice and his slight curve on his chest.

I wanted to know your opinion on it :]

Transmasc Hunter is one of my fave headcanons! He is so trans to me. If you look through some of my art it's pretty obvious haha I show him wearing a binder every chance I get.

I have a few ideas re: the logistics of being trans and a grimwalkers, and I don't have any really solid headcanons on the specifics. But my thoughts are generally that the sex of a grimwalker isn't necessarily determined by the sex of the ortet (or could also be influenced by the sex of other creatures that are used in the making of grimwalkers), so Belos couldn't reliably control the finer details of biology.

So Hunter comes out of the mud with "the wrong bits" and Belos is like "well I don't have enough ingredients to queasy-bake-oven a new one so let's see how boy this one turns out." And Hunter turns out very boy. He has to deal with puberty stuff on his own at first(Belos doesn't know shit about puberty) but eventually he acquires HRT potions and things improve dysphoria-wise after that. He does not practice safe binding until after Labyrinth Runners which creates a lot of issues that he thinks are normal until someone else is like "dude wtf???"

I think that post-canon, he would do a lot more gender exploration and would consider himself non-binary or otherwise gender queer in some way.

Aside from the specifics and all that, Hunter is just so trans coded in terms of his story arc. For me, there's a whole metaphor in there about roles and identity and self-discovery etc. that resonates with me a lot. He doesn't have to be trans for his story to feel like a trans story. But also in my heart he is trans <3

Side note: The text of Finding Palismen never makes explicit statements about whether Hunter is cis or trans. There are a number of reasons for this that I won't get into but there are reasons and as of now I plan on keeping it ambiguous.

[orphiclovers]

I was going to say something like "Singshong must really want Yoo Joonghyuk to be a silver fox since he gets old and sexy grey hairs TWO whole seperate times - 0th round and astronout, as opposed to Kim Dokja ,who visibly ages ZERO times" but that got me thinking about other characters and I realized you could create a binary of if a character is childcoded or oldcoded in Singshong's mind, regardless of actual age. So I did.

Old-coded Adults (adults in an older body OR aged due to outside circumstances)

Yoo Joonghyuk - complete silver fox as Zero, aged like fine wine as an astronout.

Han Sooyoung - 50+ years old in Kaizenix, "still looks as young as ever" - Kim Dokja says this about actual grandpa Zero too, let's just say he's a MILF hunter. I'm still counting this.

Jung Heewon - 37 years old as Erich Striker which is not THAT old but I'm adding it for the fact she's a guy (need to make a list with what genders SS associate with kimcom too...)

Lee Hyunsung - 47yo as Bilston Farmer

Yoo Sangah - reincarnated as Tang Sanzang. Don't know how old he was but probably middle aged or young adult?

Child-coded Adults (adults in a younger body)

Kim Dokja - 51% has an adult mind but body shrinks to a kid

Secretive Plotter - looks like a kid when runs out of probability, still mentally an adult

that one fist guy on reincarnation island, mentally adult, physically kid.

1863 Han Sooyoung - posseses a 13 year old in her 30s.

Old but (more or less) physically AND mentally a child

Oldest Dream - old but mentally and physically a kid

ABFD - same thing

41st/Disaster of Floods - gets reincarnated as a (dokkaebi) baby without memories for a while.

Dokkaebi King - Goes from ancient with middle aged appearance to mentally childish and childlike body.

Eternal teenagers

Shin Yoosung -Yoo Mia side story/1865th era, looks like a teen but mentally is older due to regression shenanigans.

Biyoo - is old as balls even not counting pre-reincarnation years but human form looks like a teen regardless.

Jang Hayoung - in a 15 yo body, is in her twenties

Disaster of Questions - 127 years old, looks 17.

This is just off the top of my head, there is probably more. Jesus I did not expect this list to get so long

[vax-official]

Back in an era when computers were the size of a room and only government agencies and large companies could afford to have one, IBM was king of the mainframes. But they had a lineup of several incompatible computers, some intended for scientific uses (the IBM 7090/7094), others were for commercial uses (the IBM 7080 and IBM 7010). IBM wanted to have a single unified architecture so that software could be exchanged between them and customers could upgrade from cheaper, lower powered machines to more higher powered ones.

What came out of it was the IBM System/360 line of mainframes (referring to the concept of "360 degrees" making up a circle) that ended up being the dominant mainframe computer for decades to come, it got cloned by competitors, and its descendants are still being produced to this day.

The IBM System/360 had many features that since then became foundational for modern computing.

An entirely binary number system. While some computers (such as the IBM 7090) used a binary system, others operated exclusively in decimal mode, encoded using binary coded decimals using 4 bits for each digit (such as the IBM 7080 and IBM 7010). Others went a step further and were only capable of storing decimal digits 0 to 9 (like the IBM 7070).

To store textual information, each character was stored in 8 bits, establishing the dominance of 8 bit bytes. Previous systems would typically use 6 bits to store text, and would usually only enable a single case of letters. The IBM 7070 didn't provide access to bits and characters were stored in 2 decimal digits. It was also one of the first machines to support the then new ASCII standard, although notably it provided much better support for IBM's proprietary EBCDIC encodings which came to dominate mainframe computing.

Even though it was a 32-bit system, memory was byte addressed. Previous systems would access memory one word at a time (for the IBM 7090, this was 36 bits per word, for the IBM 7010, this was 10 digits plus a sign), or had variable length words and accessed them through their last digits (IBM 7080 and IBM 7010). The IBM System/360 however accessed 32-bit words as 4 bytes by their lowest address byte.

Two's complement arithmetic. Previous machines (even the binary IBM 7090) would encode numbers as sign/magnitude pairs, so for example -3 would be encoded identically to 3 except for the sign bit. Two's complement encoding, now the standard in modern computers, makes it much easier to handle signed arithmetic, by storing -3 as a large power of 2 minus 3.

[bayetea]

Something that has always intrigued me about Frank/Hazel's dynamic is how interracial marriages were prohibited in Louisiana (and like fifteen other states) until 1967 with the ruling of Loving v. Virginia and how that would have impacted the development of their relationship because that would be such a culture shock for Hazel to experience. Do you have any thoughts on this?

(p.s. loving hippocrene so far, you're probably the best Frazel writer I've seen)

omg yes I think about this allll the time 😩 (and thank you for reading hippocrene I'm so glad you like it!!!) there's so many layers to this and I'm fascinated by it all. I think that in order to find an answer to this there's a lot to unpack first

(tags: frazel, character analysis, rr crit, some camp jupiter analysis, us history and segregation-era racism, canadian racism, anti-black and anti-asian racism, poc interracial dating, and just being candid about race in general idk. also this is very long)

so on one hand hazel isn't new to interracial romance, because she was already kind-of-sort-of "involved" with sammy (who presumably wasn't afro-latino; hazel notes sammy as mexican american in son + says that sammy considered himself colored and indian. you can certainly still headcanon him or leo as afro-latino tho). and the thing with anti-miscegenation laws was that they weren't usually concerned with interracial poc x poc relationships.

they existed to preserve white racial "integrity" (particularly to "protect" white female purity from black men), to prevent black people from achieving the same social status as white people, and to uphold segregationist ideas about the "necessary" separation of the races. you see the echoes of stuff like this in hazel attending a school for "colored kids and indians"; it didn't (usually) matter that children of color from different ethnic backgrounds were intermingling as long as they weren't intermingling with white kids. (there was a 1932 louisiana state code passed that specifically prevented black people and native americans from marrying each other + concubinage, so if sammy did in fact "count" as indian, then they actually wouldn't have been able to get married until loving v. virginia had hazel stayed in the past)

I do think it's important to note that asians (and other races) were often an afterthought in jim crow era racial integrity + segregation laws (as was typically the case in the black-white binary racial system that the us was built on), and furthermore, jim crow policies were not uniform in scope across the us. in some cases, asian americans were lumped in with whites and in other cases they were lumped in with "colored" groups (they were 100% subjected to legal and social discrimination in either case though; in a lot of cases they were specifically excluded from even attaining citizenship). because of that, as far as I can tell, hazel could have hypothetically married someone of asian ancestry in louisiana - but I mean, there were very very few asian americans living in the new orleans during that time period to begin with, so it isn't so unlikely that hazel had never even met an asian person before she died, let alone spared a thought about her ability to marry one

but, hazel did spend 8-9 months at camp jupiter before she met frank (I'm getting that specific number from a line in hoh). these months would've been the biggest time period of culture shock in her life. camp jupiter is essentially a post-racial society as we understand it in hoo (but they've supposedly been stationed in the us for hundreds of years according to hazel in son) and while we don't have racial statistics for camp jupiter, I feel like it's safe to assume that the diversity of this camp and its racially integrated nature would have been absolutely mind-blowing for her (cj doesn't even "segregate" based on godly parent, which hazel expresses gratitude for. hmm interesting)

like can you imagine what the first month at camp must have been like for her??? hazel died before the civil rights movement even started. surely nico debriefed her on what to expect but man... she went from being segregated to living amongst underworld spirits for 70 years to having a white brother and sharing intimate spaces like the roman baths and sleeping barracks in racially integrated social groups. that must have been SUCH a culture shock I can't even imagine (and that's not even touching how things have drastically changed for women. seeing reyna, a woc, running a military camp must've been a whole source of amazement and disbelief in itself)

I bring this up solely to recognize that hazel did have some time (those 8-9 months) to acclimate to being unsegregated and intermingling with kids of different races. so by the time she meets frank (about 3 weeks pre-son, before his 16th birthday) she's probably not shellshocked to meet and befriend an asian guy. still, I think getting into a romantic relationship with one would have provoked some complicated thoughts from her, i.e. how does she relate to frank? she's probably never seen a black/asian relationship before, is it possible to make that work? is that a thing that happens in these modern times? it's not a bad thing to wonder about this stuff! frank grew up in the real world and hazel knows that. camp jupiter is not the real world, something with which she has no significant experience in her second life. I can definitely see her being curious and concerned about how race relations are in the post-2000s west (spoiler: they're not great) particularly between black people and asian people, since she's dating one. like she just doesn't know. how would she know?

going off of that, I would've never expected rick to get into the nuances of a black/asian interracial relationship in the books (nor would I expect him to handle that capably) but I have always considered it bad character writing to introduce a fascinating character like hazel, an undead time traveling black demigod from the jim crow south, and offer soooo little racial observations in her povs. hazel cannot be a character who doesn't think about race. she can't be a character who isn't hyperconscious of the things that makes her different or less than because her character is built around her countless experiences of being and feeling othered. she was othered by a white segregationist society in the 1930s (she literally had to sneak around with sammy at the "whites only" riding club), she was othered by members of her own race due to her mother's reputation as an evil witch, she feels othered as a girl from the past living in modern camp jupiter, and she feels othered as a resurrected girl amongst the living. and the crazy thing is that the books (specifically son of neptune) acknowledge all of these emotional complexities except for the most obvious one: hazel almost never thinks about race in her povs??? (or gender for that matter)

even after spending 9 months at camp jupiter, you would think that she would constantly be feeling some type of way about being around white people after growing up segregated (or even some relief that things in the present are better than they were in the past). you would think that she would be so alert with feelings of double consciousness (look up this term if you don't know what it means) but the most we ever really see from her is this:

we see hazel get mad that the amazons keep slaves (except they don't keep slaves it's like. a consensual bdsm thing. like it's literally bdsm according to kinzie there's no other way to interpret them in a way that doesn't suggest some kind of abuse. ok rick thanks for throwing that in there)

she expressed disbelief that "this rich white man is her father" irt seeing pluto for the first time (who apparently looks just like hitler. again thanks for that rick)

when she finds out that romans fought for the confederates in moa she says to jason's face: "as a girl whose grandmother was a slave, can I just say... not cool?" (I HATE this line lmfao I wish I could throw a tomato at rick for this) and then he has an incredibly awkward "not all white people" moment. I love jason to death but it was so awkward it made me sob. and then this whole thing about the confederates goes nowhere

I mean that's pretty much it where hoo is concerned. she referred to nico as a skinny white boy once and that was funny (but very inconsequential)

I always got the sense while reading the books that rick was extremely hesitant to get into this stuff for fear of doing something "wrong", but the consequence of such reservation is that he made his character, a black girl from the jim crow era, appear to view the modern world through a largely colorblind lens, and that just doesn't make any sense whatsoever for a girl who would have grown up seeing signs like "whites only" and "coloreds served in rear" everywhere she went as constant reminders that the world considers her subhuman (and isn't it crazy that she still died to save such a horrible world?). so when it comes to digging real deep into hazel's character you really have to fill in the blanks that the books don't provide (she has the 2nd fewest povs of the prophecy 7 which doesn't help)

SO. in context of alllll of those layers - what I mean to express is that even though you don't see this in the books, realistically, hazel must be well-aware of frank's racial (and cultural) differences from her. is she shocked/intimidated by the idea of being with an asian guy due to all of her experiences? my anticlimactic answer is... probably a little bit? really though, I think any potential shock on her end is subdued by the fact that frank is a fellow poc, and the primary obstacle to their relationship during hazel's first life would've been shunning and ostracization (and as said previously, she was already shunned and ostracized by her community because of her mom so. same old same old).

I will say that if hazel were dating a white person then THAT would probably yield sooooo much more conflict on her side of things (and if anyone is wondering: no, that doesn't make her racist. one can't expect a black girl from the jim crow era to not be sensitive to such things). if you're a person who ships hazel with any white characters then that could definitely be an interesting subject to explore, just try to approach that kind of matter with lots of empathy for someone of her background

I think part of it is also just the ease of being with frank. he's not intimidating. he may be older than her (by <2 years. pls let's kill the age gap misinfo in 2025) but he's a bumbling probatio dependent on her for guidance and companionship for his first few weeks in the legion. the boy is very sweet and very endearing. so while I'm sure hazel felt a little confused about a romance with a chinese boy initially I think it must have also been pretty clear within the first week of knowing him that like.... he's just a guy lmao like he's just a teddybear and he's so approachable, there's nothing to be worried about

and we could ask the question of how frank feels to be dating a black girl too, but I don't think there's nearly as much complication on his side of things because he's not from the jim crow era lol. he just really really really likes hazel (that boy is downbad horrendous from the get go). while it's not uncommon for families to pressure their children to marry within their own ethnic group, I truly can't imagine emily zhang putting such ideas into frank's head (and as I discussed in this post I made recently about the complications of frazel having kids, frank grew up not really invested in his own heritage to begin with). he's also canadian not american and I'm sure hazel doesn't know jack about canada but she would have cared enough to learn more about where he comes from early in their knowing each other

maybe before they were dating, frank would've had some concerns like "is she even into asian guys?" (very common thing for poc to worry about when they have a crush on someone of a different race). I think he just tries to be sensitive to the fact that she's from a different time - I totally see them having funny awkward conversations like "when I was a kid I almost drowned in a public pool" "when I was a kid I wasn't allowed to swim in the public pools" "... oh. I'm so sorry" LMAO. like he might feel like he has to walk on eggshells when it comes to hazel's experiences with racism in the 1930s because it's (understandably) very hard to talk about this stuff; his own experiences with racism are going to be very different from her own, and I imagine him perhaps feeling like it's hard to talk about those experiences with her because he might feel like they're so insignificant compared to her own (canada/vancouver, where frank grew up as a fourth-generation immigrant, does have a long legacy of anti-chinese racism, and this article from the guardian described the city as "the anti-asian hate crime capital of north america" during covid. that the zhangs are described as "one of the wealthiest chinese families in vancouver" doesn't erase the fact that they were living in an area that has specifically hated and discriminated against chinese people for a long long time).

allll of that said though, I don't think frank actually thinks about their different races so much. like idk maybe their wildly different hair textures are a source of fascination/appreciation, but otherwise I think their racial differences are generally unnoticed by him. this is a good thing but colorblindness can also be a bad thing sometimes. nuance or whatever

another kind of funny (and sad) thing is that frank and hazel both just have no real surviving family (I know nico is hazel's family + frank probably has mars siblings at camp but that's not what I'm talking about), and one of the biggest worries that interracial couples tend to have is how they're going to bridge the cultural gap between their families (or deal with racist family members) but marie is dead and emily is dead and grandma zhang is (presumably) dead so crisis averted lmao /j

the last thing I'll take note of is that interracial couples do face unique struggles that monoracial couples don't, that's just a fact. they get stared at in public more, they get harassed on the street, people say weird shit about what their babies will look like, they might get called a traitor by their own race, they have to prepare themselves for the unique challenges of raising mixed race kids (if they ever even want kids), etc etc etc. and yes, there are lots of people out there who still hate interracial relationships (as recently as the year 2000, 40% of alabama voters voted against repealing the 1902 statute that forbade interracial marriage. consider this in context of hoo taking place in 2009-the 2010s) it's all complicated and it's sometimes very uncomfortable. but I mean, so is everything else about hazel's life

and frazel is probably safe and fine as long as they're choosing to stay in camp jupiter/new rome instead of the real world, which again is presented in its current state as a kind of post-racial independent demigod society (they do have some weird obsessions with legacy-building and generational prestige though, and grandma zhang did seem to indicate that romans had an anti-chinese racist history irt frank's ancestor, hence why she wasn't sure if attitudes had changed during frank's lifetime. I do have to wonder about the presence of potentially bigoted lares at camp tho lol). can't say I actually buy cj as a race-blind utopia in the present day considering their history but again, I think that's what the books want us to believe. that frank and hazel, a chinese-african american couple, are co-praetors in toa (I never liked hazel becoming a praetor as a writing choice but w/e I don't care) of a place with a yucky racist history like camp jupiter, is almost kind of poetic justice I guess?

I hope all of that makes sense, and again I'm really glad that you like hippocrene!! if you're interested in this subject and remember this little tidbit from ch7:

then I'll just say that that uncomfortable subject will come up a little bit more between them in upcoming chapters because I think it's very interesting and worthwhile to talk about 😌 thank you for reading!!!

[pleasantmsp]

Initial Thoughts on Downfall

I think it's fair to assume the following so far: Trist = Sarenrae. Ayden = Pelor. Emhira = Raven Queen. Asha = Melora. S.I.L.A.H.A. = Corellon. The Emissary = Erathis (except not exactly like the others)

The gods literally putting themselves (or parts of themselves) into mortal bodies so they could infiltrate Aeor is so incredibly interesting. I love their art and I love the binary code that clued us all in to each of their true identities.

Erathis not actually showing up is sooooo interesting. Tal is playing a yearning gay so well too. We love the gay drama of it all.

Literally posted on Twitter how I was hoping and begging for a mention, a crumb of Ioun and then literally 10 mins later, we got Arcadia AKA Ioun, goddess of knowledge, my beloved. I love a goddess of knowledge and I love Ioun so much! I could go on and on about Ioun but I'll save it. I'll just say that Brennan is playing Ioun exactly how I'd want, how I'd imagine she would be in this situation. Being so knowledgeable, wanting the knowledge she doesn't have, being a voice of reason. I love it so much!

Laura is playing the Raven Queen so fucking well holy shit. She is literally a child of this era and her knowledge of Aeor and the mages of this time is like no other god's. All the times she's mentioned knowing about the mortals here, every time she talks about death, man it is exactly how I'd think the Raven Queen would be here and I'm living for it.

I have one more thing but I decided to give it its own post. It's about Tal's portrayal of Melora. I have Thoughts™

[familyabolisher]

Young’s protocol banked on a naturally available plasticity in the growing body that would induce phenotypic changes during childhood growth. Yet sex was not given by plasticity—it had to be grown. If it was plastic, then there were no guarantees that the originally mixed character of an embryo or infant would inevitably reach a binary form. This instability was precisely what drew researchers to experiments on intersex bodies in the first place, for in displacing the gonadocentric paradigm they cast serious doubt on whether humans were really sexually dimorphic, even as medicine promised to capitalize on their plasticity to produce a binary. To resolve this instability, the plasticity of sex was coded in this clinical research as an abstracted form of whiteness, a latent capacity to be reformed and transformed into something new. That most of Young’s intersex patients were white indexes how the “abnormal” body of a child diagnosed with hermaphroditism could be made valuable through its plasticity, the promise of alteration and normalization through medical intervention. That the few black intersex children and families who spent time at the Institute were regarded by its staff as more “difficult,” combative, irrational, and ultimately disposable points to the racialization of plasticity in this era. Young saw an abstract sense of alterability in white children, while he projected a fungibility onto black children that has a genealogy in American medicine stretching back to slavery. As was the case more broadly at Hopkins, doctors like Young regarded black children as suitable experimental subjects because of presumed access and disposability, whereas white children who were subject to similar procedures were framed as exhibiting the potential for a normative cure or at least improved normality.

Jules Gill-Peterson, Histories of the Transgender Child

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Some thoughts about things on Bang Bravern… (bit long, sorry)

Why do I clock the German major general Heidemarie as a lesbian?

So what if “ga-ga-pi” is some kind of a code, similar to Morse code or the binary code? Lulu has her “ga-ga-pi.” The other Deathdrive has its “ga-ga-ga. Pi-ga-ga-ga-pi. Pi-ga-ga-pi-ga.” The sequence is different in order to convey another meaning. The only solution is how to interpret it. Or perhaps, I am just overthinking.

So what are the Death Drives?

From the series’s glossary:

Death Drives : A mysterious mechanical life form that suddenly attacked the earth. Their goal is to achieve the best "death" that each of them wants. They came to this earth around all the galaxies in search of an existence that will fulfil their wishes.

Those drives sound like a part of Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalysis’ theory, the theory of pleasure principle (Lustprinzip).

Did Masami Obari, the director, turn to the Austrian psychoanalyst to gather the blueprint for his latest work?

(I know that Freud doesn’t have many fans among the Tumblr folks. But he “is” my neighbour. After having seen “Freud’s Vanished Neighbors” and read an article that the Viennese didn’t accept him as part of the community because he was not born in Austria and had Jewish family, and was still referred to as “Zugeraster,” a derogatory term for an outsider, he earned my respect and like everyone who was born centuries ago had other mentality that was not at all fitting in the modern era.)

Deathdrives, or death drives, in Freudian psychoanalytical universe, mean Thanatos, Todestrieb in German, is a term that describes: the drive toward death and destruction, often expressed through behaviors such as aggression, repetition compulsion, and self-destructiveness.

From Freud’s book, “Beyond the Pleasure Principle” :

Our departure point was the great antithesis of life drives and death drives. Object-love itself shows us a second such polarity – that of love (affection) and hate (aggression). What if we succeeded in connecting these two polarities, what if we succeeded in tracing one back to the other! We have always acknowledged a sadistic component in the sexual drive; as we know, this component can develop a life of its own and turn into a perversion that dominates a person's entire sexual life. It also occurs as a dominant partial drive in one of those forms of organization of sexual life that I have termed ‘pre-genital’. But how could we possibly suppose that the sadistic drive, which aims to harm its object, derives from Eros, the preserver of life? Isn't it altogether plausible to suppose that this sadism is actually a death drive that has been ousted from the ego at the instance of the narcissistic libido, and as a result only becomes apparent in conjunction with the object?

So you have the enemies, the Death Drives, ready to destroy the humans, and Bravern on the other with the quality of being the Eros. The sentient robot’s ethos is to save the humanity first. All the while obsessing with his pilot, Ao Isami. Obsession and kindness overlapping.

@whypolar analysed their names, then doing some googling of the meanings of both Isami and Lewis’ names, it seems the two share the same description. Yours truly is not at all a Japanese language expert, this website suggests that Isami has 21 variations in kanji.

勇 means "bravery, courage."

Brave - Showing courage and strength in the face of danger or difficulty.

Daring - Willing to take risks and try new things.

Strong - Having great physical or mental power.

Courageous - Having or showing courage in the face of danger or difficulty.

Resolute - Firmly determined to do something.

Soldier - A person who serves in an army.

It describes Isami’s personality perfectly!

Lewis, on the other hand…

From the celebrated author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll, to lauded actor Daniel-Day Lewis, a boy called Lewis is in good company! Lewis is of German origin and means "Renowned warrior." It has many variations in Latin, French, and Gaelic languages that all point to the same sentiment of “strength” and “courage”. With the name Lewis, you can hope to instill your baby boy with a fearless optimism for life.

All three of them—Bravern, Isami and Lewis—are “strong and courageous.”

[bridehall-if]

Clothing Question

As the system stands in my current draft of Chap. 1, if you chose the MC's gender to be male, they dress masculine, and if you chose the MC's gender to be female, they dress feminine. However, as I was coding, I realized how unfair that is to players who would prefer their MC to dress gender-non-conformingly. So, I've come up with three possible options to solve that problem:

[velvetvexations]

Of all the things I call cis-coded, the most cis-coded thing in the world is Xena: Warrior Princess. That show is entrenched in me as the show cis lesbians from the 90s. I feel like if I tried to watch an episode it'd tell me to turn on my webcam for an inspection of my jaw structure.

That's almost certainly unfair to everyone involved. I just saw a lot of references to Xena, hardcore feminists, and lesbians, long before culture had progressed to the point where there was pop cultural nuance enough to account for transfeminism or transbians. Like, "Velva the Warrior" from The Oblongs having a horse named Fallopius and a bad guy named Testecles.

Also, she has black hair and wears a lot of black, and you wouldn't think that'd be a thing I associate with anyone other than people who fit my description, but in combination with the above it makes me go straight to Alison Bechdel wearing a lot of black. In spite of my leaning in Bechdel's favor if we must absolutely have a black-and-white binary view of her, which we shouldn't, she is literally the only feminist, let alone cis feminist, from that era that I can even vaguely remember the appearance of. And then there's a feedback loop, because you add Xena after giving her these associations, and now there's two examples, resulting in imaging all feminist lesbians wearing a lot of black in the 90s.

I'm sorry, Allison! You put effort into being visually striking and it worked too well!

[sophiaforevs]

Between the early cancellation of Discovery, Seven/Raffi and Mariner/Jenn being erased in their respective shows, and SNW having queer coded characters but not confirming anything on screen, I'm really afraid that we're entering another "No Gays in Trek" era.

For those who don't know, 90s era star trek featured so few queer characters b/c Rick Berman largely held a policy of not wanting any homosexuality in his shows. And yes, we all remember the handful of episodes that slipped through that addressed it but the fact remains that there were no canonically queer main cast members before Into Darkness in 2016 gave us a five second shot that could be cut when whoever was showing the movie found the idea of two men in a loving relationship disgusting.

Then we got Discovery with multiple queer characters that allowed people to feel seen. And people never stopped bitching about them. The amount of times that I've had to listen to people complain that Adira's only character trait is that they're non-binary despite that literally being a single thirty second scene and never brought up again makes me understand that they very likely don't want to like the queer characters in that show. And it's not that there aren't criticisms to be made about the queer representation in Disco: Discovery Buries it's Gays before the end of the first season. Making your trans characters aliens who already have a history of gender fuckery is problematic b/c it somewhat plays into the idea that queerness is unnatural for human beings. But I never hear those complaints. Only the pronouns. Only the "We get it you're gay but don't shove it down our throats." But I don't want to get too off topic.

Now Discovery is being canceled early. And by early I mean, the writers weren't given proper notice that their show was ending. They were halfway through production and allowed to adjust the end episodes of the season to try to give a satisfying ending.

In Picard and Lower Decks, we got two sapphic relationships ("sapphic" meaning a romantic or sexual relationship between two women who aren't necessarily strictly lesbians) and they were pretty good. People had been asking for Seven to be queer and Jeri Ryan had been playing her as such since her introduction (see again: Rick Berman) and to see her finally get to express that was really healing. Mariner got off to rocky feet when the creators tried to pull a "Dumbledore is gay" where they said she was bi but didn't commit to it, but they she actually got a fairly satisfying relationship in season 3.

But in their most recent seasons, both were completely written out. Seven/Raffi gave us no explanation beyond that they "broke up." They went out of their way to keep them from being on screen together for most of the season. Mattis said in a Reddit AMA that he wanted Seven to be captain and Raffi to be first officer at the end of the season and that Starfleet would have regulations against relationships between the two despite the biggest reason Seven was promoted to captain was that she was a rule breaker. We didn't even get that much for Mariner/Jennifer. Jenn just wasn't in this season except for two background appearances.

And in Strange New Worlds there's just… nothing. SNW is the most recent new show and there's no queer representation. They code Ortegas as gay but don't actually confirm it on screen. There's just… nothing.

And this is how you loose the culture war. The bigots make enough noise that the show that is supposed to be a beacon of diversity doesn't necessarily side with them but they just kinda bow out of the conversation. They decide that it's easier to not bother than to take a stand. And so I and many many queer star trek fans are left wondering:

Does the franchise even want us any more?

[floof-ghostie]

Rumi's style throughout the different eras of the comics + a little blurb about each:

Starting with their introduction in the 60s run of the comics, Rumi has the typical appearance of a female scholar, which makes sense as they're a recent university graduate. Long skirts, ties, button ups under sweaters, trench coats, cardigans, and sweater vests. Their main colours are brown, green, and black. Note; they have not been confirmed as trans at this point.

Next is their appearance in the 70s and 80s. Rumi mostly sticks to their original aesthetic in the 60s, but they look more relaxed and masculine (loose silhouettes). They wear jeans and slacks more often, and loose button ups, more graphic shirts, and less ties. Rumi also begins wearing leather jackets. Lots of blues, blacks, florals, and browns. This is when the subtle trans coding begins, but they still aren't out yet.

Rumi in the 90s to present day would undergo a bigger change; they'd wear a lot of sports jerseys, band tees, baggy jeans/shorts, and the occasional dress. They'd still keep the leather jackets and the cardigans though. They wear a lot more black and dark colours. This is around the time that they're confirmed to be non binary/genderless.

[sleepynegress]

HELLO! I'm sorry you've been getting idiotic anonymous people being rude about Uhura. I saw your lovely post about her and it made me happy to see that people appreciate her! She is so much more than lots of fandom pretends. Also I high-key agree that Karl Urban absolutely nailed his performance of Bones. It was so dead on!!! Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. So their really gentle scenes made me SO happy when they finally happened. The warmth and gentleness shone through and won me over entirely. Zoe played sharp with just enough warmth. But I still love Nichelle's too. Uhura is great! Anyway didnt have a huge point here just happy that you also love her and call people out LOL

The main issue is the misogynoir and perhaps TERF leanings against the most recent player in the part, Celia Rose Gooding. She is non-binary and goes by she/they pronouns. She also has a short close-cropped style which beautifully frames her face. The troll is hyper-fixated on attacking that, disparaging her presentation of femininity using coded language to imply aggression or masculinity. This is extra backward because, of the three players who took on Uhura, she has the darkest skin tone, has the fullest lips and a wide nose bridge, and her hair is the only one not in a straightened or processed style (which is fine for an option BTW). All of these things together are rare aesthetics for a Black woman, and appropriate, especially for an sub-Saharan African woman's character presentation, especially in a futuristic sci-fi mainstream iconic franchise, like Star Trek and so important for young people to see as normalized femininity. I think of Lupita Nyong'o talking about the effect Alek Wek had on her...just being there as this South Sudanese supermodel, with very dark skin and short natural hair...

Celia Rose is the particular target this troll has framed as their "fanhood", with thinly veiled insults and backhanded "compliments" that keep dogwhistling in their posts with various account names.

As for Zoe's Uhura, that professionalism and sharpness, when it came to her abilities and focus on her studies was an obvious intentional writing choice to stave off the very criticisms *she still got* because of the misogynoir of that era...

People were accusing her of coercing Spock into her ship assignment and even assaulting him(!).

That mess never makes sense, but hating Black women for existing or having what we are perceived as not "deserving" is sadly an old tradition (see those who make a hobby out of hating Megan Markle). And now, I see people praising the OG Uhura, Nichelle, for aspects of her character that were actually forms of limitations on her because of production bigotry...i.e. the forced interracial kiss, that people constantly cite as some forward thing w/o the context that it was forced because the implication was that no one in her crew would willingly kiss a Black person. IOW, aliens assaulting them for their entertainment was the lesser evil and more palatable to white audiences than someone choosing to love on Uhura (and I would add *especially* someone white, because even showing Black affection and love in that time was a rare thing, and her episode showing some yearning towards an old love showed no physical affection between them either). Anyway, all that to bring it right back around to ALL the Uhuras are great. And the weird microaggressions, macroaggressions, hatred, and attempts to shove them into a particular box are misogynoir; a microcosm of the kind of bullshit too many Black women go through on the regular just for existing.

Celia is a Rose and I hope she shines, gets loved on, has friends (including some Black ones) who are genuinely concerned for her well-being and actually help her when she's in need.

P.S. I missed this reading way too fast before but this bit is sus IMO Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. If you meant Spock not reading Uhura? Then yeah, I agree. If you mean Uhura not reading Spock?? I can't walk with you there because Spock literally almost hindered Uhura's career and got her on an exploded ship(!) because of his emotional bias and almost killed Kirk on the bridge because he was not managing his emotions well. Meanwhile Uhura read him well enough to provide some comfort after the loss of his mother.