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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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unquestionably-queer replied to your post “I mean, since we're at it, could you maybe talk about the double...”

i agree w a lot of this!! i dont want to speak out of turn but from what ive heard from indigenous women (which im not) the problem isnt the ship itself but its representation ig? basically my understanding is that in fanfic n what not katara is often stripped of her autonomy and relocated and Thats what people have problems with? i think youre right just bc zuko and sokka and are close and age and its Gay doesnt suddenly make it not vaguely racist (for lack of better terms)

That is a perfectly fair and valid criticism of the corners in fandom in which that happens. However, at that point, it’s an issue with racism in general in fandoms at large--and, I promise you, this is not an issue that’s exclusive to Zutara. I can only speak for my own experience, of course, but the Zutara discord server of which I am part has a lot of poc as well as queer people (including some queer poc!!!), some of whom are indigenous, and so when people call the entire fandom ‘white, straight, and racist’ (which is effectively what happens when they say that just shipping zk is racist/heteronormative, regardless of like, context), it not only erases all of us and our contributions to the fandom, but it also like... ignores the fact that those fics and metas are soooo not the norm.

Like, I’ve lost count of how many ‘fire lady Katara’ metas take into account how much of her culture she would bring with her to the Fire Nation. Everything from spectacular fanart designing clothing that incorporates her own culture with her husbands, to having her called Lady of the Moon rather than Fire Lady, to having their courtship extend over the years she spent as an ambassador and making so many changes for the better to the nation she would eventually marry into.

I almost never see meta or fanart where Katara marries Zuko and then completely assimilates and abandons her culture. But you know where I do see Katara stripped of her autonomy, made an accessory of her husband, denied agency, and having her legacy completely erased to the point where if you hadn’t watched AtLA you’d have no idea why she’d be well known at all except for who she married?

Canon.

That’s what the comics and LoK did to Katara, so I really don’t understand how these things get flung at the Zutara fandom as if we haven’t been fighting back against that future for her for years. The Northern and Southern Water Tribes went into a full blown civil war and Katara didn’t lift a finger to try and use her political clout or just her fierce passion and love for her people to knock some sense into them. Her son and his entire family were kidnapped by zealots and threatened with death and she didn’t even try to help the rescue effort. I get that LoK wasn’t the Gaang’s story, but AtLA wasn’t the White Lotus’ story either, and those old ass men got to kick ass and take names all over the place, so don’t hand me that ‘Katara was too old’ crap. She was, what, eighty something? Bumi was 112 in AtLA!!!

Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on an LoK rant, but my ultimate point is, it doesn’t make sense to me to come after zutara shippers when, by and large, we wish canon had done better by Katara and that is reflected in much of our fanworks and metas. Does this mean there won’t be racist shlock in our fandom??? Of course not! Because racism is insidious and no fandom is free from it, so of course if there are works that perpetuate harmful ideals it’s perfectly fine to talk about them and ask that the people involved do better in the future, or just avoid those who refuse to change. But slamming an entire fandom for the actions of a few, while ignoring the fact that their preferred ship pulls from the same exact fanbase (and I’m sorry, but white gays are no less racist than white straights, that’s just a fact), is hypocritical in the extreme.

Tl;dr: people in glass houses really shouldn’t throw stones.

#unquestionably-queer #atla #zutara #katara #zuko #atla fandom salt #just covering my bases

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dawsonscreekwasalwaysbad · 5 years

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season 6 thoughts

hey quick question why the FUCK did you start with that

like on the one hand i’m glad that now i know what happened right after the end of “that’s too much man!”. on the other hand… ow

the mountain bojack climbs is called “metaphor mountain” God bless Lisa Hanawalt

i LOVE the way the episodes are framed… like you get one flashback to bojack drinking and you think that was the first time then it’s like NOPE he was even younger

CINDY CRAWFISH AKSHDJDSF

AND BABY BOJACK SNUGGLING UP TO HIS MOTHER… TRYING TO FEEL AN EMBRACE SHE WOULD NEVER GIVE… CATCH ME CRYING IN THE CLUB

WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS NEW INTRO

AND THE WAY IT HAS ALL THOSE FLASHBACK SCENES BUT IT STILL ENDS WITH HIM FALLING INTO THE POOL AND DIANE AND PEANUTBUTTER CHECKING TO SEE IF HES OK AND THEN HES JSUT LOUNGING IN HIS APPLE SHORTS;;; it’s just,, he’s going back home in the end, going back to the place where he started, as if everything will go back to the way it was before and he’ll find himself stuck in the same cycles he tried so hard to escape… all im saying is, i dont think this season is gonna end well

and how it dwells on his past, everything he did wrong, all the most heartwrenching moments, and there aren’t any changes to the intro (as far as i could tell) until episode 8… nothing changes if all you do is look back.

I am LOVING the Mr. Peanutbutter we’re getting this season. I was never really attached to him before; it’s not that I hated him, just that I liked all the other main characters better. and now that they’ve had him do something really bad and reckon with that,, he’s plumbing new depths, exploring those dark places, questioning if he’s truly as happy as he says he is

and bonding with bojack??? who would have guessed

bojack keeps giving advice that is, at best, the kind he doesn’t follow himself, and at worst, bringing others down into the well of self-pity that he’s been stuck in the whole series

Someone give Princess Carolyn a break…

SHE NAMED HER DAUGHTER RUTHIE IM CRYING

Guy seems like a cool guy but I feel like they’re setting him up to seem nice so that it’s more surprising when it’s revealed he’s not. I’m probably being too suspicious, but also we don’t know much of the details about his divorce, do we? Lakeith Stanfield's great tho

EPISODE 4 WAS COMEDY GOLD

The return of Queefburglar69

I WANNA WRAP PICKLES UP IN A BLANKET LIKE A BURRITO AND TELL HER EVERYTHINGS OKAY

Oh man Pickles talking about how her subscribers will always be there for her… like… it’s not one person, it’s a cloud of people, the contents and shape of which changes, might even be completely different and unrecognizable from one year to the next, but they’re all still there as this nebulous support system. and it reminded me of what bojack said to young sarah lynn about how her fans are the only things she can count on

Todd is babey.

Also him wearing the ace colors under his hoodie!!

I knew Diane’s rationale for going to chicago was bullshit. she said it makes her feel good, but “it doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are,” and she still dwells on her bad feelings and hates herself just as much in chicago as she did in LA. moving somewhere else isn’t necessarily gonna change those tendencies, she has to work on it herself.

OH MAN AND WHEN BOJACK GETS DR CHAMP DRUNK AGAIN… THROWING THE BOTTLE OUT THE WINDOW WAS A WAY TO AVOID RUINING ANOTHER LIFE AND HE ENDS UP DOING THE EXACT THING HE HOPED HE WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN

was honestly kinda hoping that Dr Champ was just pretending he got drunk to show how bad bojack could get if he relapsed but at the end when he was like “stay…” that’s how i knew that shit was real.

todd is so fucking stupid i love him

ngl am kinda disappointed that todd’s confirmed white, cause i’ve kinda been picturing him as latino for a long time and i know rbw said he doesn’t want to alienate latino viewers who relate to todd. but it makes a lot of sense, cause he always gets away with stupid shit and gets to the top of things without even having to try just because he knows a guy. and maybe the reason he’s so positive all the time is because it’s so easy for him to be, he never has to worry about shit bc of the privilege his whiteness affords him. also I love that we got to learn more about his backstory

THE CONTRAST BTWN “all the shitty things I did that I can barely even remember because I was high or drunk or it was thirty years ago” and “I remember everything. I’m sober now.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!

sharona sounds like a cross btwn princess carolyn and margo martindale

I have… mixed feelings about the haircut

Oh man Mr. Peanutbutter had a moment… he finally got that crossover episode… I was kinda hoping for a joke that went “Mr. Peanutbutter and BoJack Horseman in the same room? What is this, Philbert?” or “What is this, a short-lived show on a streaming network that got canceled because the star got addicted to painkillers and strangled his costar in a drugged haze?” but this is SO MUCH BETTER. I've never seen him cry before and the way he reacts to himself crying suggests that maybe he’s never cried before at all, and that’s why he just keeps laughing, almost like it’s forced, cause this is supposed to be his happiest moment and it’s not supposed to make him so sad. fucking,, character development

and the cold open of ep 8… you can forgive yourself and move on from your past wrongs but it doesn’t erase the things you did, the effects they have on people, and the trauma they’ve suffered. and then like, how can you forgive yourself if they never forgive you? how do you maintain that balance? why should you move forward if they can’t?

its weird to have an episode consisting entirely of guest stars but it also illustrates the extensive world they’ve built and i applaud that… also where the fuck is ana spanakopita

GINA RETURNS!!! HELL YEAH

her quote about not wanting to be defined by what bojack did to her has always stuck with me, and i feel like now, that quote has sort of come true. like, her saying that made us avoid reducing her to what happened to her, and thats why i wanted to see her come back this season, hopefully moving past it. but she can’t. it traumatized her. and everyone can see the effects of it but she feels like she can’t come forward, cause if she does she’ll be punished. shit like that changes you.

and it’s another instance on the show where someone chooses to advance their career & preserve their reputation over doing the right thing (like what bojack does with herb & sharona), but bojack does it out of self-interest, and gina does it so she doesn’t have to relive her trauma every time she gets interviewed or recognized by a fan. but even when she keeps quiet about it she’s still reliving her trauma

noah fence but what a waste of the once-per-season fuck word. youre really gonna use it in an episode IN WHICH BOJACK DOES NOT EVEN APPEAR, and not only that, but RECYCLE AN OLD SENTENCE FROM A PREVIOUS EPISODE

netflix places no limits on a show’s use of the fuck word (i think), so… fingers crossed for something better in the second part?

OH MY GOD PETE REPEAT INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS PETER ITS ALMOST LIKE HES TRYING TO FORGET THAT TIME & THAT PERSON HE WAS (im probably reading into it too much, I’m sure it’s mostly so we wouldn’t figure out who it was immediately. maybe im just like the kid with the coffee cup.)

and just… ppl describe this show as “family guy or the simpsons except the protagonist faces consequences for his actions” but bojack has gotten away with everything.

you ever just like… you ever watch a scene and feel the cliffhanger vibes creeping up and you just know it’s gonna end there and leave you unsatisfied and begging for more but at the same time that’s what makes it such a good place to end it. that was me with this. (and also the ending of undone)

the thing about this show is, it illustrates what it’s like to be a toxic person. and sure, he has it hard, but the show never asserts that he has it any worse than his victims, even if bojack himself does so. and he only does it so he can feel better about himself. he deserves a reckoning, he needs to pay for his bad deeds. but then, when you know what made him this way and what goes on inside his mind and that he wants to get better, it makes you feel for him, and forces you to ask if he deserves to get better and forgive himself and move forward. but even if he does, it doesn’t change the things he did. it doesn’t fix the lives he’s ruined.

anyway sound off if you think bojack’s gonna die at the end. hopefully not by suicide

#long post #bojack horseman #diane nguyen #todd chavez #princess carolyn #mr. peanutbutter #pickles aplenty #pete repeat #bojack horseman season 6 spoilers #doctor champ #sarah lynn #gina cazador #horsin' around #mr. peanutbutter's house #netflix #raphael bob-waksberg #lisa hanawalt #phoebe talks #mine

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camelely · 3 years

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TFATWS Spoilers under the cut

Literally the following is my thoughts and opinions, and there are probably some unpopular opinions lol. It's kinda really long lol.

Starting with some positives.

I loved how the two leads had storylines that mirrored each other. Sam needed to become Captain America and gain a title and Bucky needed to move on from The Winter Solider and loose a title.

Sam. Just Sam I loved him before but now I love him more.

Sam becoming Cap.

I loved Isaiah and his story.

I loved Sam's family, how they welcomed Bucky and the struggles Sarah had.

I really liked how they spent time with both Sam and Bucky and didn't forget the show was supposed to be about both of them. Often times shows tend to lean into the more popular or fan favorite lead and this show didn't do that. When Sam took center it felt natural and when Bucky took center it felt natural.

The Wakandans were great. I love Ayo and her friendship with Bucky.

Zemo was fine and fun enough.

John Walker was incredibly done. Wyatt Russell did an amazing job and the scene with the blood on the shield will forever be in my memory. Hands down one of the most impactful MCU moments.

I like the genderbend on Karl/Karli and the direction they took her character. People that go from sympathetic ideas to unforgivable means, make good villains. I think her more boring elements come from the lack of development she got.

Now on to the negatives.

This show could have been like two hours shorter and still told the same story with the same impact. Also earlier episodes, (maybe later episodes too I might have just gotten used to it and stopped noticing lol), had some weird ADR moments. IDK what happened behind the scenes but it was noticeable.

I would have loved it if one of the episodes was a flashback episode. The Sharon twist was obvious from the first episode she appeared in but like they thought it was good enough to save confirmation for the mid/end of the finale? Both her and Karli would have been benefited from a flashback episode.

Karli should have fought Bucky while Sam was focused on Walker. Sam could have had a moment where he tells him he will never be forgiven and Walker would responded with something similar to "I do what is right. I don't need forgiveness." Then when he becomes USAgent it lands more like the next progression in an arc rather than the redemption arc this could be interpreted as. I personally think this is a stepping stone and not a redemption but the MCU (and Disney) doesnt have a great track record when it comes to handling anything with nuance and the fans have an even worse track record when handling things that arent black and white. I guess my point is they could have handled the John Walker set up better.

Speaking of set up, this entire show was set up. This is my main and only real problem with this show. Nothing felt like it was resolved at the end. Karli even says she was part of a bigger movement. Killing her didn't change the fact a lot of people felt the un blip ruined their lives. People always shit on Tony for wanting to bring people back five years later instead of going back in time but like it had been five years, while some like Steve and Natasha hadn't moved on, others had. Some had better lives. Assuming everyone wanted to back to the way things used to be would also be a mistake. This has consequences too, as we see in these shows. But ruining the lives of the people who had bettered themselves would have been shitty too. And yea some people who had been bettered were worsened once again when the un blip happened but my point is going back and erasing the five years would have been shitty too. There is not really a right answer here as the right answer would have been to either stop the snap before it happened or to come to terms with the fact that the snap can never be undone. Leaving everyone as dead might have hurt, but it was the best thing for a community that had five years of mourning and moving on and counseling ETC. Ooof that was a tangent lol and I could probably write an essay so going back to my original point about set up. The flag smashers, or at least people who think the way they did still exist, Sharon Carter is the powerbroker but Sam and Bucky dont know and now shes back as agent 13, John Walker went from war hero to committing war crimes and his journey as USAgent is just starting, Sam has taken the Cap mantle and is ready to begin acting as Cap, and Bucky is both coming to terms with and moving on from his past. Nothing is actually resolved in this mini series. I know it's supposed to make you excited for the next movie/show/season whatever but have six episodes of little to no payoff IMO made for a flat show.

Building off the set up problem. This show had too much going on. Sam and Bucky each had their own personal journey (The A and B plot depending on the episode), Sam and Bucky being friends and their shared journey (C), John Walker and the Flag Smashers (the D and E plot depending on the episode), Zemo and the Wakandans (F), The PowerBroker/Sharon (G), The boat and Sarah which could be considered part of Sam's plot but since if you cut it out the only thing that actually effected Sam's journey would be the bank in the first episode and yet it still went on till basically the end I'm calling it it's own plot (H), Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, which might be part of John Walker's story but since it's all set up for her to take a bigger role in the future and his set up could be completed without her I'm counts her separately (I), then you have the big meeting at the end, the senators and policy makers making choices the vote that they keep mentioning and once again more set up... (J). 10 ideas by my count, all needed their own set up, follow through, and payoff. And yes some stuff like Valentina the pay off will come later but still... It's all too many plots! And thats not mentioning side characters that were new to the show that they wanted to spend time with but couldn't.

Even though I think the shows aren't comparable/two different genres WandaVision had two more episodes (and yes some were shorter but I already mentioned I think FATWS could have benefited from that), completed all the main plots and had Wanda's journey (A), Vision's journey (B), Agatha, Pietro/Ralph, and the citizens of the hex (C), Outside the hex Monica (D), Outside the hex everyone else and sure you can separate Darcy, Jimmy and Heyward but none of them were setting up future stories or had their own distinctive plot outside the hex thing like Monica so she is the only one I am separating (E), the kids who could be counted as an extension of the Wanda and Vision plots since they didnt really have their own arc or story (F). 6 total. And some of those could be combined. Like I think we should separate Wanda Vision and the kids but technically they are just an extension of Wanda. And same with Monica, her story was mostly intertwined with Darcy, Jimmy and the outside the hex stuff. I separated her since I think she had enough moments to herself and she set up secret invasion or whatever, but like Valentina being a part of John's story it is arguable. Of these plots only the missing witness Jimmy thing, Wanda's post credits moment a moment seperate from everything else, Monica's mid credits i think? moment another one separate from everything else, and white vision were unresolved. They gave Agatha an opening ending but it was still an ending. And yes Darcy Heyward etc will probably come back but the plot they had here was finished. So arguably they had 2/6 unfinished plots. And if you don't count Jimmy's witness as a plot and just count it as an unanswered question then 1/6. And technically white vision is just half a vision and the other vision got a complete plot so really it's 0.5/6 At best they completed 92(ish)% of the plots and left 8 (ish) % for future stuff.

In contrast FATWS only finished Sam's journey into becoming Cap, Zemo and the Wakandans, and arguably Sam and Bucky's friendship. You might be able to argue that Bucky had a full circle moment with the guy whose son he killed, but that is one guy and Bucky has been carrying around a list of people like that guy. It's not the end of a story it is the start of a journey. And maybe it is possible to say the boat thing had an ending kinda. 2/10 completed. maybe 3/10 if you wanna push it 5/10. IMO at best they completed 50% of plot set up.

Clearly FATWS is meant to be this way and thats why it bothered me. They want you to watch Cap 4 or whatever they decide to call the theatrical movie that will come after this. I guess I was just expecting it to stand on it's own, and other than Sam's journey into becoming Captain America, which was amazing and deserved in every way, nothing this show did felt like it could have stood on its own. I know it's arguable that was the main story and only story that deserved to end. But I've already pointed out all the other running plots this show had, and I think at least two or three of them should have had follow through in the show.

Someone who plans to never seen an MCU movie after these shows could have watched WandaVision and enjoyed it. That is not the case for FATWS. If you don't plan on watching any MCU stuff in the future you won't know how over half the plots of this show will end. THis isn't even how the movies work. They each tell their own story while also setting up other things, so it is clear they know how to do this.

I can see why Disney decided to submit it as a series and not a mini series. Not only do they not want to compete with themselves (nominating WV as a miniseries) but also this isn't a miniseries.

I guess to conclude I'll say I did really enjoy watching this show. It was fun and there were some great moments. It featured amazing character and amazing actors, but I wish it had bothered to finish more of what it started.

Thank you so much for reading till the end of a post that has surely become unintelligible gloop by now. If you disagree I'd love to hear why!

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lillsxd · 4 years

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stupid project

peter parker x reader

requested: no

word count: 1999

hey guys give me notes on what i should fix so i can get better thanks

_________________________________________________

what does life mean? what is living? i ask myself that everyday. why am i stuck in this crazy world? “y/n, y/n hello. earth to y/n” i hear snapping out of my thoughts “yes peter” i look over to him sitting in his desk tapping his pen to his mouth. “we have to get started on this paper” the nerdy friend of mine rolls his eyes and sitting back in his seat. i let out a sigh.”Pete i know but i dont wanna its stupid and annoying and” i stop and look at peter confused. He is looking behind me and back at me like there was a bug in my hair. i was about to say something as the blonde teacher slaps two detention notes on my and peters desk. as she walks away.

he whispers “really y/n again” this was the second time this week. “sorry lets get started” i reached for the instructions on peters desk and he stops me. “you know i could just do it later” he scratched the back of his neck. why would he say that. does he not think i can do this. know this is our last grade of the year and peter dont believe in me “no” i say with no emotion in my voice. “but y/n-” “no” i cut him off and snatch the paper from his hand and write down what i need to until i get cut off by the bell. i grab all my stuff together and leave as quick as i can before peter can say something to me.

why would he? as i walk down to the hallway to the bathroom to skip my last class i bump into his friends. “oh hey y/n” Ned says waving. i ignore him completely, trying to hold back my tears running to the bathroom locking the stall. he dont trust me. why am i reacting like this i should be mad i should just brush it off. the bathroom door opened and i lifted my feet up so no one sees me in here. “y/n are you in here” mj says. the footsteps get quiet as i dont respond, looking under the door i see her shoes. they are boots with little chains on them her shoelaces are mismatched and she knocks on my stall door. i dont answer looking around the stall. ‘school sucks’, ‘BLM’, ‘spider man is soooo hot’, were written on the stall wall with different handwriting and colors. “y/n are you okay” she knocked again. “im fine mj just ate something that messed up my stomach” i wiped my tears and pulled down my hair to fix it so my puffy eyes arnt noticeable. As i put my feet down from the toilet about to unlock the door she slides a drawing under my stall. “i know thats not the reason that your in here maybe this will cheer you up, and y/n if you need anyone to talk to girl to girl call me my number is on the back. and if its peter i will kill him. i will let you be but for real text me i am here.” she says walking out of the gross bathroom. the door shuts and i grab the paper. It is a dawing of me and peter. it looks like it took months to finish and i flipped the paper over and it reveled her number. I've known peter for years we have always been the bestest of friends until he met mj and started to hang out more with them. ive been alone most of this school year. in the begging of the class he wouldn't talk to me or look at me or anything. it was like he forgot i existed. i got cut off from my thoughts as my phone lit up buzzing. i opened it to see peter texted me.

Pete: y/n are you okay?

Pete: please answer me

Pete: do you wanna come over and do this project after detention? we can listen to your fav music and watch movies afterwards?

my fingers tap out a message ‘no i dont want to i just wanna go home you dont even tr-’ no i shouldn't say that. i tap on the screen erasing the message i try again ‘sure Pete meet you by the buses’ i type out.looking at my screen for a minute. he will probably just bale on me like last time. so dont get my hopes up. my thumbs tap on the send button.

Pete: okay meet ya, are you coming in the next class?

my face gets all red. i forgot i had two classes with him how stupid ill just tell him im busy or something. ‘no i got called to the office for something dont tell teacher’ i type thinking it was a great excuse. i reach for my bag and grab out my sketch book and flip to an empty page. as my pencil sketched away the rest of the school day peter wad in class writing my notes for me until the bell rang.

After the bell rang i got out of the stall reaching for my bag of makeup going towards the mirror. I see black running down my face and fix it. i get out of the bathroom and start walking to the detention room. Maybe it wont be as bad i thought it would. “y/n over here” peter calls sitting in a empty desk patting a spot next to him i roll my eyes and walk twords him. “hey y/n” peter waves and i just nod and sit down. as the hour of detention goes by peter looks at me time to time seeing me draw something in my sketch book. “hey y/n” he whispers and pokes my arm. i look at him. “i have to do a quick thing before we head to my house okay so just wait for me” he says nervously. “ok” is all i say before the teacher looks at us. The rest of the time passes i get up to leave shoving my book into my bag and walking out to where the buses would usually be. i wait. putting headphones in i play Shawn mendes. listening to music waiting for peter.

As time goes by to 30 minutes to an hour to two hours to three. i get up from my sitting position. he ditched me again. i feel tears hit my cheeks as i start to walk home. walking turned into running hearing leaves crunching under my feet. music blasting in my ears. why. he is probably with mj or Ned. why do i trust him. why did he pick me for the project. why would he. tears getting stronger. running not home just anywhere. my feet taking me wherever they want until i reach the woods. there was smoke and pieces of metal everywhere. i wipe my face looking to see if anyone needs help. moving pieces of metal and wood and i see a blue and red piece of fabric from far away. i run to it..the person is trapped under a big chunk of metal. “s-spider man?” i question. realizing its him the hero himself. he looks over and sees my puffy red face and coughs a little not being able to talk. i look at him more closely he is all beaten up and dirty. he has holes in his suit and some hair poking out of a rip on his head only revealing the color of his hair. “can you grab a pipe and lift up the metal please” he says trying to deepen his voice. “o-oh yes of course” i say grabbing a big pipe almost to heavy to pick up and shove it under the metal. i try to push it down but it wouldn't budge. so i stood on it and jump and as soon as it lifted a little he managed to push him self out.

“thank you ma’am that i have no clue who is at all” he says in his deep weird voice as he nervous laughs. i furrow my eyebrows and nod “sure Mr spider man who saves the world” i laugh copying his obviously fave voice. he just sits there in silence and i turn on my heals to walk away “wait” he says in a familiar voice “i mean wait” he cuts himself off in a deep voice. i stop and turn around waiting for him to continue. “who ever you are running from he will come back just give him time” he says in his deep voice and starts to limp away and lift his arm up and start swinging away. what was that about and what was that terrible voice. and why did he seem so familiar?

I start to walk home forgetting about peter. after hours i get home seeing no car in the drive way. “looks like its a late night for me” i say under my breathe unlocking the front door and stepping inside. i throw my backpack on the ground and take my shoes off. my body hurts but i still manage to get up the stairs and going to my room. as i lay down on my bed my phone rings. i look at it. ‘Pete’ it says buzzing in my hand i answer it

“what peter” i frown into the phone disappointed and sad.

“y/n i am so sorry i ditched you i was leaving and i got a call from my boss and i had to come in im-” i cut him off “peter its okay down worry about it goodnight” i say about to hang up

“wait can i come over i can explain everything so much better” he says nervously “ i guess peter” i say hanging up. ten minutes has passed and i hear a knock at my door. i run down stairs and open it to see peter. he has a big coat on with black sweat pants. he has bruises all over his fave and cuts. i gasp and grab his face “ OH my god peter what happened are you ok let me clean you up” i say grabbing his hand bringing him towards the bathroom “y/n im ok its just a scratch” he said squeezing my hand softly. i stop “i swear if flash did this i will kill him.” clenched my jaw, opening the bathroom door and making him go in and i close the door behind me. “no y/n it wasn't him i promise but i do have to talk to you” he says grabbing the rubbing alcohol from my hands. “well what is it peter? if it was about ditching me we can talk about it later let me-” he cut me off by unzipping his jacket showing me his suit “y/n im spider man thats why ive been ditching you someone very dangerous was out there today you helped me get out from under scrap metal today y/n” he says pulling out his beated up mask from his jacket pocket and looked at me.

i was just standing there looking at him in shock. “y/n?” he says “you are spider man?” i say in shock “yeah im sorry i didn't show up after school and been treating you differently” he said holding my cheek “parker is spider man” i smile “ i knew it” i giggle “your man voice is funny” i say looking into his eyes. he leans in “y/n” he licks his lips and looking at your lips and back to your eyes. “hm” i say leaning in to where our lips are almost touching. He kisses me passionately as i kiss back holding onto him. i pull away for air and i say looking in his eyes smiling...

“ive always loved you parker”

#peter x y/n #spiderman #school #marvel #secret #give ideas

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nat-without-a-g · 4 years

Note

🔥 fuck it up babe

Hi! I love l4d and shit but like.. N/Ellis has always been a no-go for me. For al the usual reasons, yeah, but also because. People who ship it have a tendency to pretend NOBODY ELSE exists. They erase the found family aspect of the characters for romance. Or if they dont, they’re villainized or characaturized. Which is NOT A GOOD LOOK, CONSIDERING N/ELLIS IS WHITE AND EVERYONE ELSE IN THE L4D2 TEAM IS BLACK.

So N/Ellis shippers... I get my arguments like “the age gap makes me uncomfortable” and “they’re not on the same point of life” and “nick would have far too much control over the relationship for it to be healthy” and “Ellis already has semblances of a stable relationship outside of the team that he talks about a lot + displays an interest to another character in canon” yadda yadda yadda are overused and easily argued against. But I just want to say: if you remove coach and Rochelle from your story just so you can thrust N/Ellis into the spotlight without distraction, you are not only cutting out Half The Characters, but also kind of whitewashing the cast? Idk it feels a little racist and this happens Way too often. Besides, it’s not like the fandom has a good track record with treating its POC characters good. (See: Pills-obsessed Louis, everybody hates Rochelle “”FoR tHe LoLs”” (guys LAY OFF she’s GREAT), and Coach being An Intense Glutton and THATS ALL his personality (btw fatphobia anyone?) ON TOP OF the White characters not HAVING memes like this (Ellis’s stories do not COUNT they have VARIETY and commonly aren’t used to POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM OVER AND OVER and Francis DOES hate everything it’s something he says all the time but even then his personality isn’t EVER boiled down to the man who only talks when he has something to hate unlike poor Louis with “pIlLs HeRe”, a meme only formed because he says Pills funny.)) More happy found family stuff please. Less. Making fun of PoC in l4d or pretending they don’t exist to begin with.

#discourse #venting

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scottsumrners · 5 years

Text

avengers: flopgame, a rundown

most of the spoilers were right to some degree: cap does go back to peggy, iron man does snap thanos out of existence, all that jazz. they were wrong in several other things (cap doesn’t break the soul stone, he doesn’t receive a letter from peggy)

the plotline is very bareboned, and honestly i still dont know how it lasted for three hours. thanos does the snap and then “retires” to some planet in a corner of the universe. captain marvel rescues iron man, who promptly tells everybody to fuck off while he mops. the avengers + carol go out and beat thanos’ ass, but they found out that he used the stones to erase the stones

this part is hilarious when you look back after a certain part of the movie because the ancient one literally says that if the stones are removed from existence, the universe is fucked. but i guess it was already fucked either way?

five years pass. thor is fat and depressed. cap is handsome and depressed. natasha is depressed. captain marvel has a lesbian haircut. tony is living his best life with his daughter and pepper, because it turns out tony didn’t lose anybody in the snap! fun, i know

then scott is accidentally freed fro the quantum realm when a rat steps over the controls, reaches a grown up cassie (how did she go from 9 years old to 17, god only knows). then he goes after the avengers with the idea of going back in time. this is where the plot starts to unravel completely.

they go to tony for help, but he refuses because of his kid. then they go to “mr. hulk”, who tries to help but doesn’t know much. then tony changes his mind and helps them, under the condition that they don’t go back to when the snap happened, but instead just...ressurrect everybody who died. this completely overlooks the fact that FIVE YEARS HAVE PASSED, people have moved on, and many more have died/committed suicide/done a lot of bad things to themselves and others in the awake of the snap and afterwards. clint is proof of that

clint, by the way, lost his whole family, so he decided to get a haircut and become racist. he literally goes to, like, mexico and japan to kill criminals. “people died and you didn’t”, he says to a mafia boss. there are no mafia bosses in america apparently.

so they go back in time, because hulk and tony say that whatever they do in the past doesn’t count because of fixed timeloops. and then when they get to the past, the ancient one says that if they remove an infinity stone they create a fringe timeline, which is unprotected because the stones are meant to be the guardians of the universe or something

by the way did i mention thanos destroyed them? right?

there is a moment which is just. like. okay. steve goes back in time in the end with the purpose of not messing with the timeline by putting them back there, except steve whispers “hail hydra” to brock rumlow to get the mind stone and loki disappears with the cube, which is like. a massive fucking alteration in the timeline? but who the fuck knows! not the writers, thats for sure.

and then they fuck up even further because when nebula goes back in time, her systems interact with past nebula, who gets hijacked by thanos and literally tells thanos the whole plan. so evil past nebula replaces present nebula, goes back to the future, and when the team assembles to undo the snap (which they do), she brings thanos’ ship from 2014 to the present.

bearing in mind that scott literally says they only have fuel to go one back-to-back trip, but nebula manages to an entire ship using the pym particles *after* she has returned, and it is never explained how except there is a moment of her showing thanos the pym particles

so they undo the snap and everybody is back, but so is thanos from the past, who decides that only killing half the population doesn’t work because there will always be those wanting to undo it, so he wants to kill everybody and start anew. cap, thor and iron man go toe-to-toe with him while the hulk is buried under a bunch of rubble (thanos’ ship destroys the avengers compound) with rocket and war machine, and hawkeye is running from thanos’ creatures with the gauntlet

by the way did i mention that natasha had to sacrifice herself to get the soul stone? lmfao that was like....terrible. alas

the final battle is cool. cap wields the mjolnir (and thor says “i knew it!”. also he got the hammer back when he went to get the red stone) and beats thanos’ ass until he gets the upper hand. and then when all appears lost, the rest of the heroes show up to help and there is the big battle, with the goal of carrying the gauntlet from hawkeye to antman to send the stones back to the past

which they can’t do, and thanos gets them all back, but before he can snap he and carol have a beatdown. carol has three moments in the whole movie: rescuing iron man, as a hologram showing off her lesbian haircut, and this moment destroy thanos’ ship and beating his ass (and a cute scene with peter). then tony steals the stones from him by...literally grabbing them out of gauntlet, which is apparently something he COULDN’T have done in the original timeline?

also thanos has a gauntlet even though the gauntlet wasn’t made in 2014. but who is paying attention

and then iron man snaps thanos out of existence, he dies, people in my session were crying a lot. there is a funeral scene with everybody there; clint and wanda mourn natasha and iron man (hilarious bc tony put her in a straight fucking jacket, but alas), thor passes down the mantle of king of asgard to valkyrie and fucks off to be with the guardians of the galaxy, and steve goes back in time to put the stones back, but then he doesn’t come back. he is back as an old man there to pass down the mantle of captain america to sam, with the shield and all.

did i mention that cap and bucky have one (1) scene together? and he and falcon also only have this one? bucky seems super chill with all of it. he apparently could telepathically already know that steve was gonna do this bullshit.

the last shot of the movie is steve and peggy dancing, which made me nauseated. or maybe was the sugar. but probably steggy.

the positive points:

beautiful cinematography, except for the moments where it was too dark to see what the fuck was going on

less of a barrage of jokes, which was a welcome change. much of the joke was the fact that thor is fat and depressed and is a drunk now. haha. hilarious.

also there is a moment where they joke about captain america’s ass and two shots of captain america’s ass, which may just save this movie from being a complete disaster.

they aged cassie so there is real hope for a young avengers movie now

that’s it

the negative points:

the movie is extremely long for a plot extremely thin. but also it passed super quickly. wouldve been quicker if my bladder wasn’t full

iron man was, throughout the entire movie, completely selfish. he was arrogant and rude and he put his stupid ooc family above the rest of the universe. if he had been smart and gone back to the moment of the snap, he would have survived to have morgan stark again

when he goes back in time and meets his father, howard literally tells him he regretted putting his job above his family, which for tony translates on forcing the team to not undo the snap properly

natasha’s plotline was that she was lost and lonely and her “family” had died so she had no reason to keep living. so she kills herself. INCREDIBLE message to the audience

robert downey jr and jeremy renner are very ugly and old and the fact that we get getting these extreme close ups of both of them was. uncomfortable.

people kept saying that steve’s farewell was touching and beautiful and it would make sense but it didn’t. steve’s existence in the past changes hundreds of things - and if it doesn’t, the alternative is that steve knew what would happen and chose to do nothing, which is just. taking a shit on everything steve rogers stands for.

like, literally - and this makes me angry - the entire movie they kept hammering the idea that cap needed to MOVE ON. that he needed to go on with his life. when they showed peggy in the past and steve is watching her, the idea is that she has carried on with her life, only holding on to the memory of who he was as a memento. and then they take a shit all over it

the resolution of thor’s plotline from the last several movies being “thor doesnt actually want to be king, he just wants to be a space hooligan” is just. baffling.

steve, bucky and sam have ONE SCENE TOGETHER. IN THREE HOURS OF MOVIE!!!!!

the moral of the avengers: endgame is that never try to do a movie about superheroes and time travel because you just wont be able to do it right. and that’s that on that.

#avengers #a4 #endgame #spoilers

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captainshyguy · 6 years

Text

god so....me nd jester finished gravity falls and....GOD

i have sos oso much to say about it, (under the cut tho ofc)

but like....tl;dr.....that was easily the best show i’ve ever watched, and one of the best narrative’s i’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing

oof ok so i’ll start small

the animation in general, ESPECIALLY the scenery was rly nice

god the theme like not the theme SONG (though that will get its own bullet point)but like??the theme of the show??? the mystery feel mixed with modern stuff, and still being REALLY DARK AND HAVING GENUINE HORROR whilst still managing to be a kids show is wild

like!!! they didnt pull any punches!!! they didnt treat kids like dumbasses that would get the show!! it complex and intelligent and engaging!!!!

ok so the THEME SONG ok GOD I LOVED IT BUT....turns out bc me and jester were using dailymotion well.....uhhh 90% of the gravity falls eps on there are sped up?? (like 1:25x speed) i NEVER NOTICED i jsut thought all the eps were around 18-19 mins??? turns out thery’re actually 22, so we’ve been watching at a slightly faster pace??? we watched ONE at a slower pace and i was like ‘WHAT’ but like!! that slower pace wasthe reAL SPEED NKHDFHNJHJF its...v strange tbh bc i’ll probably rewatch them on kimcarttons bc thats’ more reliable and all in the right palce but....idk i kinda prefer the slightly sped up version??? its enough that al lthe characters still seem rly natural they didnt...seem liek they were sped up but they WERE but it means the natural ones now seem slower to me nkjkdhjfkd, either way watch the theme song on 1.25x on youtube and you’ll see my experience its....rly good

BUT GOD IT WAS WRITTEN SO FUCKNG WELL THERE WAS NO LOOSE ENDS I DONT THINK????? IT JUST!!! EVERYTHING WAS SO GOOD ND SATISFYING

god the FORESHADOWING ABT STUFF like!!!!! the 6 fingers ALL THE BILL IMAGERY LIKE god i kNEW abt bill cipher so everytime i saw a triangle i lost my mind, just went absolutely hogwild on the keyboard

GOD OKAY SO FAVE CHARACTERS UHHH bills my bastard fave and i’ll get to him later SO

dIPPER ok just!!! a kid who was rly into mysteries nd nerding things and reading BIG FUCKNIG MOOD alos befire he showed like..any interest in girls nd was eye rolling at mabel talking at boys i was like ‘oh!!! aro ace!!!’ then the wendy stuff happened and i went ‘welp, i made my bed, time to lie in it’ and i SMASHED the compulsory heterosexuality button KHDFHNDFJ oh yeah he’s trans bc hell yea

STAN I LOVE HIM SO SO MUCH LIKE he’s super fucking funny and like!!!! he cares SO SO MCUH abt mabel and dipper nd his bro!!!! he cares nd loves for them wholst still being that cool, chaotic, not exactly law abiding grunkle and!!! he literally learned how to work his bros machine nd tried to 30 years just to get him back AAAAAAAAAA and GOD BEING WILLING TO SACRIFICE HIS OWN MEMORIES TO SAVE EVERYONE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA o he’s also trans bc ye!!!

bill cipher...bastard fave like...god i’ve said this before but!!!!! idc abt villains most of the time but HE FITS INTO MY DIMENTIO NICHE (slightly uncanny, theatrical/charismatic, MAJOR FUCKING THREATS) there’s defo!!! differences between them tho, like bill cipher actually has friends lmao, they wanted to...remake the universe/multiverse in different ways (dimentio by erasing everyone from existence and rebuilding it himself, bill by just fucking up everything that’s already there) plus dimentio played the long game on screen more ig????? like we always knew bill was bad, it’s made obvious, maybe not main antagonist, but bad, but spm makes u think dimentio MIGHT be on ur side, or at least wont betray the count to be the true villain??? either way tho i was talking to jester abt this, but when i blackmail nintendo into letting me make an aniamted spm series in 20 years im gonna have some fun doing similar foreshadowing stuff with dimentio that gravity falls did with bill GDFHJHDJF (nd just!! letting him be animated in general bc dimentios already cool, can you IMAGINE HIM with animated with lotsa life nd fluidity like bill?? wild)

but yeah tldr bill bastard but...COOL BASTARD

the canon gay police guys were rly sweet!! hel yea!!!

i....the only thing i didnt like was them keeping robbie and tambry together LIKE THEY DIDNT CONSNT TO THAT WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS A LOVE POTION AND EVERYONE ACTED LIKE IT WAS OKAY THATS NOT PLAYING MATCHAMKER WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS FORCED LOVE WHAT THE SHIT

i just!! god i rly loved it it was such a good story and it was the perfect length, you could TELL the creator went ‘this is going to be as long at the story needs it to be, im not stretching it out and making it stale/having the quality dip like’ it was pefect nd we all want more bc we loved it but!!! it also ended in such a satisfying way that i couldnt imagine it coming back without being worried the quality would dip so im satisfied but OOF

fuck...i lvo it so much i LOVE IT I NEED TO FOLLOW SOME GRAVITY FALLS BLOGS IMMEDIATELY

uhhhh lgbt hcs with the main 6 bc im gay and i do what i want (remember i’ve already smashed the comphet button so dont come at me like ‘uhh but she dated a guy’ bullshit):

wendy: trans nd gay

mabel: bi

dipper:trans and aro ace

stan: trans and bi

ford: gay

soos: hmmm......not...sure....he gave me ace vibes....het/bi ace???

#emma rambles #gravity falls #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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ithisatanytime · 4 years

Text

I just want to be happy. i dont think thats possible for me anymore, i really dont. i can never erase the memories, i cant stop the dreams. but i would take comfort knowing that i played some small part in ensuring the next generation doesnt suffer like we have. where can i escape to if its coming from inside? if i had a thousand years i wouldnt be able to explain how the memories burn. its so goddamn painful, and theres no respite from it, even when i sleep i dream about them vividly. i feel like if just once i could describe how it really feels i could heal a little bit, but i cant. its indescribably, its like a nightmare, its surreal. its there when i go to bed, i stay up until i cant keep my eyes open distracting myself frantically, and then its there, i fall asleep and i dream about it, i wake up and its there waiting for me. i dont feel like i was asking for much, my dreams were always pretty humble, i just wanted a decent job, someone to love, and maybe children, the children part i was only ever so so about. all my worst fears came true, all of them. i cant even have peace in my own heart.

this isnt a cry for help, and im not suicidal, i lost that courage over ten years ago. i think about it all the time though, its blatant escapism. if something causes me to think about the future its so overwhelmingly bleak i just visualize hanging myself. its not serious, but its a way for me to say “the future doesnt matter because ill be dead anyway” its bullshit and i know it is. i have this dirty little morsel of a memory, and i protect it like it was my own life, a memory of when things were good and even that was corrupted, but i guard it and i covet it. its lost all its color, i have gone to that well so many times.

its like all that stuff happened in a movie, it doesnt even seem real. all that warmth and hope, its so alien to me, so unlike everything else i experienced. she loved me, and i failed her. the one thing i took pride in, was protecting people. my little sister, just anybody. i had a code, if ever there was somebody being ganged up on, i would jump in on there side, and i actually did that shit too! and i got the shit kicked out of me more times than i can count. but my mother praised me for doing it, i built my whole life around it. i cant even begin to explain how perfectly evil, how torturous all that shit was to my soul, it never ever stops hurting. how could i fuck up so bad? she was so sweet, you have no idea, she was just this quiet gentle warm kind soul, love personified. i had one fucking job. you know, i was happy she got married, i was upset she moved to florida. i just wanted to see her again, by chance you know? i want this out of me

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contactlense · 4 years

Text

wanna read something absolutely batshit insane?

???

each time i look at my reflection im not quite sure who’s staring back

now i carry all these ghosts but i dont think i’ve ever known

each time i close my eyes i think maybe i’ll be different when i wake

but every day’s the same

they go just as they came; as if no time has passed at all

it’s as if i’m waiting for an apparition of

someone i haven’t met yet

will i ever get that?

i want to run away,

ditch the phones, ditch the games

but something like fear of missing out

keeps me here, exactly the same

i’ve got a lot to lose. or so i thought.

(people to disappoint, people who love me a lot. )

whats the point of all that love when i don’t know who i am?

that stranger in the mirror needs to grow/ into someone that i can understand.

im not sure how i can do it/ when im afraid to let go

money to spend, money to waste,/ jumping around from place to place

its not my shit to jerk around, /just use it wise and settle down

finish what you started before you run again

finish what you started and maybe you’ll find you can/ finally get to know

that stranger in the mirror

maybe you’ll have to stay here for now

maybe you’ll actually figure out how /to stop romanticizing the lives you’ll never live

or maybe, just maybe, you’ll get it

i want to leave

for something uncomplicated

i dont think ill make it

things stay complicated

you’re kidding yourself

life isnt that simple

life isn’t the story you think you can write

do you want to live inside your stories?

do you really want that life?

the thing about being alone is theres no pretence to uphold

nobody to lie to

but your own reflection in the mirror

if you can even see it

im not alone

but sometimes i wish i was

so every time that i fuck up theres no one else to clean it up

no more guilt

but thats not something i can just make up

maybe the pain would be easier if my life was actually tragic

something real to cry about instead of the thoughts inside my head

only you can change yourself but not enough

not enough to get it

with all the people tying you down

its not enough room to grow, to really grow

but loosening those ties would mean i’d have to make it on my own

i need my medication. thats the part that fucks me up. if i leave i wont be stable, i wont be able to get by.

i get so dramatic when im sad, but am i telling the truth?

is this how i really feel?

when im lying by myself in bed it seems like the biggest truth

but morning comes and the alarm goes off

and i think how silly, how dumb, how crude

unrealistic, privileged thoughts

maybe i’d be better off

going to sleep at 8:30.

this isnt a new feeling. year after year i have the same thought. if i could just run away from here, maybe i’ll find what i want.

“here,” where is “here”? i’ve been so many places and i always want to go. and so i leave but where i land is not where i want to go.

its where i think i should be, to please the people who keep me on my feet

unrealistic, privileged thoughts.

if one of them was gone you’d regret everything you ever wrote. you’d beg god to bring them back but no one’s listening, and you know

that all the things you think you want

would kill you just the same

as the life you think that you resent

so maybe all you’ll ever feel is pain.

sick. twisted. ridiculous. privileged thoughts.

just because others have it worse doesnt mean that your feelings mean any less

but how the fuck can you say you’re unhappy when you know you’d feel worse if you were them

since i feel this type of pain maybe giving it all up is what i deserve

if i’ll be unhappy anyways, why not give me a real reason? i need a real reason. it doesnt make sense. i feel alone, but not in the way that i want. i want peace of mind.

the only way i think i’ll get it is if i move to the countryside

only do the work to get the money that i need to survive.

otherwise i’ll tend to plants, read a book, count the ants

count the stars

and hope a new life will find me here

without ties to who i was

just being who i am

i am who i am from moment to moment

i dont think im ever the same

when i started writing i felt i had a different name

a different face

there is no future

there is no past

if one day at a time is all we’ve got

i’ll erase it all, close my eyes, and hope that when i wake up it’ll look a different way

i should send this to my therapist. theres a lot to unpack. but i think i laid it all out, rearranged it, and put it back together, the same way i always do. i get upset. i get angry. i reframe it. and it feels empty. an empty promise of tomorrow. there’s nothing to be upset about. just finish all you started. the same cycle every time.

cycle. im about to get my period.

if none of this is how i really feel, then why does it happen Every. Single. Time. ????

the same thoughts. the Same Shit. it must be true. i think im deluding myself every time i get through it because it’s the only thing i know how to do. the only thing i think i should do. lay it out, reframe it, pack it all back up for the next time it explodes.

im fine. im alive. but am i? doesn’t feel like it.

every time i take a breath i feel like i have to document it. i have to write it all down. if i have nothing to show for it, did any of it really happen? in 100 years someone may find this and know that something happened here. someone felt something.

when i write things down i feel like im not alone. there are no people around, how i like it, but at least i am known. i want to be known. in anonymity. i want to be known when it’s all over. that’s all. but we’re all marks that get worn away by time. we sink into the ground and make way for new things, new life. nothing is permanent, except it feels like it is when you’ve only got so much time. it feels like the clock is running out when i haven’t even been here long. how do i have all these thoughts when i haven’t even been here that long??? things move too fast for me. i need everything to slow down. to experience a year for the length of a year. all 525,600 minutes of it. instead of being worried about whats coming next. it feels like a bunch of cars are speeding at me and i have to get out of the way. i just want to get out of the way but there’s nowhere to go but between the cars or under them. it feels like they’re just narrowly missing me. my heart beating fast, thinking “that was close,” over and over. i’m tired of it. i’m tired of mental and emotional labor. i’m so tired of it i think about defaulting to physical labor. moving things around from place to place for a living. helping life move along for a living. not bringing new things into it that no one needs or wants. nothing to complicate anything further. less thinking. more doing. having something to show for your labor instead of an obscenely long note in your phone and dried tears on your pillow and a C+ on a computer screen.

sometimes i think maybe i should fuck it up on purpose. make them kick me out. show my parents i actually couldnt do it. that i wasted time and money. make them cut me off financially and fend for myself. then it wouldnt feel like quitting or running. it would feel like this is how my life is now. this is what i have to do or i’ll drown.

life is really forced upon you. i did not ask for this. i did NOT ask for this. i feel like i cant control anything.

i feel like im lying all the time. lying to everyone around me and to myself.

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laldila-menu · 4 years

Text

l’aldila#3

00:36 09/19/2020

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hey :). i hope youre doing okay. I think its been two weeks or a week idk ive lost count since ive last talked to you. actually its been eleven days i just counted, i hope you didnt erase yourself off the face of the internet because of me. bro i love you menu. i hope when you said i dont love you anymore that it wasnt it. ill wait. i realized that i truly was so selfish. when i go back to read our conversations i remind myself how bad a person i was and how i let my hormones take over our relationship. i told you on that december evening in the parking lot that i loved you. that conversation started by a text that you sent me. telling me id have to tell one of you that i dont like that person so that theyd could move on. by that time i had already made up my mind that it was you. i look for your picture everywhere, your text on my phone, your good morning texts and more. you, the oblique form of xyz. i didnt deserve you, still dont. i corrupted you and us. and back to my point about that night. after you texted me i told you. i told you that i was scared that if i told you how i felt, id want more than just what we had as friends from our relationship, which happened, and that i was scared id ruin any chance i could have with you in the future, which i dont know. it kinda sucks but is also kinda lit not knowing what God has planned for you. you make me feel some type of way. i hope i see you at some skatepark or randomly outside and that everything was just a fricking poopoo imagination and you had to fake it or something. i literally checked the white pages with your old number to see if maybe you got it back or something. i literally considered EMAILING you when you first shut down everything. EMAIL. goddamn i love you but maybe you blocked me from there too. dude i could be happy with anyone too like honestly. i have no feeling in me thats forcing me to say i want you. but if you were in my future as more than just my friend id be really fricking happy. and i dont wanna exaggerate my feelings/want to be with you, cause what if i get it and then i just throw it out like a toy. im content with anyway God has willed for me. More than content I am happy. whether im with you or not but AGAIN I FRICKING SUCK AND I WA TNTHAT THING SAPDJFH IOHWIJ HRF. whatever. lifes been interesting. i really wanna know whats up with you and your new school. i know so many people that go there apparently and i wonder how theyre treating you. if anyones hitting on you i swear i will break them . im sorry but i will. i want you to be mine. and idk what condition your bracelet is in, but mine is kinda like ripping one of the beads so im gonna glue it just in case. alright i think i should probably end this but seriosuly i miss your presence in my life as my friend. and maybe thats selfish but i love ou for you. i shouldnt have let you let me talk more and only listened to you. whats up with you? how do you honestly feel? hows stuff at home? what are your plans? and just one honest conversation with you. when you said for the first time in this relationship were gonna do what i want. i honestly felt like crap and didnt know if i was too assertive. i know i definitely was when it came to physical and i fucking hate that. sorry for cursing but i seriously hate myself for those sitatuions. anyways, i love you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxx

i dont wanna fall out of love but i cant stop it for now, wonder what the future holds?

sincerely,

l’aldila

i cant believe you never listened to that song. like theres so much you still dont know about me and like wise so much more i dont know about you. dude i fricking love you.

fucj i love you so much, so many songs remind me of you. you said you loved me too fast, summer(my time with you the best time of my entire year) ended too fast. we rushed man, next time im gonna trust my instincts. you made me vulnerable which is more than okay, i honestly liked it. i loved you, but then stuff changed, and i think i imagine kissing you a lot but recently i feel like my love for you went back to the innocent way it was at first. breaking my heart tearing my heart tearing me down

heres the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VJGBlSYabY

love you fr

00:57

privet-”russian”

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spiicemarket · 7 years

Note

idk if you are still doing this, but im evil so for the ask thing: 1-65

UGH SOMEONE ALWAYS DOES THIS whatevs nonny ty for the ask also i did some of these already but imma just do em again cuz im basically a new person than yesterday. under the cuttt

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? i honestly have no idea what this means so.. no?

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? unreasonably.

3. The person you would never want to meet? hitler

4. What is your favorite word? *moist*

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? the one rotting from the inside out

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? “wow look im wearing boots with heels 2day im so tall”

7. What shirt are you wearing? a plain black t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? an annoying female

9. Bright room or dark room? dark but i want a pastel one

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? trying to sleep and failing

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? i rlly enjoyed being 6 actually

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my mom lmao

13. Your worst enemy? hitler

14. What is your current desktop picture? the one that comes with the laptop lolol

15. Do you like someone? i mean i like people (some of them) but i dont have a crush on anyone fjekomd

16. The last song you listened to? sippy cup by melanie martinez

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? nobody id rather push them off a cliff

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? umm the kid that calls me fat at recess lolol

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? hmm my brother and i would basically just make him bring me chickfila

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) hmm i like my hair its really long and

t h i c c

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? umm i would just look like myself with short hair and less chubby cheeks lol

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? i took hula dance class for 4 years

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? burning to death

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. okay i would have a sub with ham+lettuce+extraextraextra pickles+ pepper + oil + vinegar and thats it lol im v picky

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? parenthood pack and dine out pack

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? England!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? apple juice plz

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? everyone is equal is society BUT there are representatives so like people dont have to vote for everything

29. What is your favorite expletive? bitch

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? laptop man

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? idk man i dont wanna erase any of my memories bcuz thats what builds me as a person.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! England!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? My grandfather but only if he wasn’t sick anymore because I never got to know him even though he was around until i was 10.

34. What was your last dream about? i was in a quidditch game.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? simblr? cuz no lmao

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yes once but i also went to urgent care when i broke my arm so idk if that counts

37. Have you ever built a snowman? no

38. What is the color of your socks? not wearing any

39. What type of music do you like? pop/alternative like melanie martinez

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets because it gets cooler

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? oreo mint

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) um green bay packers cuz thats what my family likes but i dont like sports..

43. Do you have any scars? nah

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? photographer but that aint happening so lawyer..?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i push people away because i cant talk about my feelings to them

46. Are you reliable? what like, a secret because yesssss but if it means not being late to something then lol no

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? whats ur follower count? LOL IM JUST KIDDING DONT COME FOR ME

48. Do you hold grudges? yes literally all the time

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? a cat-corgi

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? one time i spent a solid ten minutes debating with my step sister about whether or not my dog was a good boi

THE ANSWERS YES

51. Are you a good liar? no (or maybe thats a good lie????????????? the real answers yes lol)

52. How long could you go without talking? approximately 2 seconds

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? i had bangs when i was little

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? nope

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? dont like toast

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? my teachers making us draw a poppy :(

58. What would be you dream car? a hybrid

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. LMAO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME FOR THAT I HAVE 50 POUNDS OF HAIR

60. Do you believe in aliens? sometimes my step dad says he was abducted when he was 11

61. Do you often read your horoscope? nope

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? omega

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dragons OBVI (mostly cuz harry potter)

64. What do you think about babies? adorable

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. THE ANON DIDNT ASK SO ILL TELL A STORY:

one time i fell out of a shopping cart and broke my arm

the end

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warrior-under-the-moonlight · 7 years

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1 thru 65 :3c

ok fine here we go1. Historical role model? Uuuuuuuuuuh im gonna say Louis Pasteur2. Favorite underrated historical figure? i dont have one but im leaning with Simo Häyhä3. Funniest historical kerfuffle? EMU WAR4. Favorite conspiracy theory revolving around history? Finland5. Favorite political scandal to examine? anything australian politics cause what a fuckin mess6. Opinion on the presidential assassinations and their impact on America? fate is a huge thing7. Which time period would you like to live in? this one, but maybe mid to late medieval asia/europe6. Favorite historical fiction book? dont have one but anything from bernard cornwell is good. also narnia if you count fantasy8. Favorite tv show based on historical events, but not really faithful to real life? i dont watch a lot of tv??????? im just gonna say narnia again9. Favorite musical based on history? the only musical ive seen is High School Musical10. Favorite movie based on history? the new king arthur movie is p alright but arthur in the movie is a bit of a cunt11. Favorite biography? Martin L. King12. If you could prevent one tragedy, which would you choose? North Vietnam winning. it would be weird because i wont live in australia tho13. Fun fact? Koalas are getting endangered because females wont stop touching other females and getting chlamydia14. Favorite female monarch? that one chinese one15. Favorite war leader? idk lol16. Favorite controversial leader? idk lol17. Favorite feminist pioneer? not a lot of pioneers here in aus but im gonna say the ones on the first fleet18. Which president, in your opinion, was the best speaker? JFK. idk its prob his voice19. If you could travel back in time and kill anyone, who would it be? Mao Zedong20. Opinion on each of the founding fathers? not from the us of a so no opinion21. Which leader do you think would make the best spouse? u wot22. Most pointless war in your opinion? that one war where people fought for like a soup pot23. John Wilkes Booth: crazy or crazy with a cause? idk about him much so im staying neutral24. Why do you think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK(and did he act alone)? i saw a video once and i think he worked with the cia

25. Opinion on assassins of leaders in general? bound to happen26. Do you think we’re going to repeat history because we haven’t learned from it? yes27. Have you ever been teased for being a history nerd? no28. Which historical figure do you think has been the most fictionalization and elevated to a godlike status nowadays? that one columbus guy. took all the credit29. Rant about your favorite topic. WHY IS SCIENCE GOTTA BE LIKE THAT30. Favorite kids/teens history books. Horrible Histories. thats all i remember31. How was your interest in history started? i started getting into history more when i got a 90 percent on my history exam, the highest in the grade32. Do you know a history professor? no33. How did you favorite history teacher structure his class? no34. Can you see yourself pursuing a career in history, or have you done so already? after i get my degree in med. science im getting into history35. Are you especially interested in the morbid bits of history? yeah depends tho36. Do you focus on the history of a single country? im mostly asian and european medieval/renaissance oriented so no37. Have you ever been known as the history person? starting to with my mod team cause of my interest in medieval life38. Least favorite president? not a president but Tony “I love Onions and reptiles. not a reptilian tho lol” Abbott39. Favorite president? Kevin “-sniffing- ive been wronged by my party!!!” Rudd40. Favorite history song? a few songs but i can say In the Hall of the Mountain King and Oui Oui Marie41. Best history project you’ve ever done. me getting the highest grade on my WW1 exam42. What do you think of countries erasing the worse aspects of their past(like America and Japanese Internment and pretty much everything to do with Native Americans)? i mean a lot of things happened with colonisation but apart from that, poor poland holy shit. and japan during ww243. Opinion on the Watergate Scandal? the only -gate scandal i know is gamergate smh. jk i dont know what that is44. Why do you love history? cause im good at it45. Candidate that you think should’ve been president(or leader of the country of your choice)? the one WHO BROUGHT US FIBRE OPTIC NBN AND NOT COPPER WIRES46. What do you think of the Mongols? died by angry weather. changed a lot in genetics and countries. 47. Favorite queen/king of England? i forgot what his number was but it was Charles something48. Fuck, marry, kill: Elizabeth the First, Bonnie Parker, and Teddy Roosevelt? idk elizabeth is ok, isnt bonnie that one payday heister and teddy is good49. Were they really the good old days? not really no50. Favorite army story from a relative or friend? never had one. never met my grandpa51. WWI: Necessary? tensions were high. sure countries poured in but man it got out of hand fast52. Capitalism, communism, or socialism? none. bring some -good- aspects from each and you got me53. Favorite old political film? idk any movies54. Favorite peacekeeper? Dalai Lama55. Is monarchy outdated? as a government yea. but as a way to keep culture alive no56. Opinion on Richard III? had to die for the end of the war of the roses57. What was the real cause of the Civil War of your country(if it had one)? independance. although id rather not be communist but there was no choice58. Favorite Chinese Dynasty? hmm im gonna say ming59. Genocide that should be known about but isn’t? Holodomor, and the armenian genocide60. Are you interested in cults and sects? no but my nationstates is61. Favorite ancient civilization? a few sinospheric ones, mostly china and vietnam62. Favorite leader of said ancient civilization? Qi Shi Huang Di63. Opinion on marriage as a political move? too much in the medieval times. outdated now. just give them game keys and theyll respect you64. Best history joke you’ve ever heard? a roman walks into a bar. the roman puts two fingers up and says “two beers please!”. instead he got five65. Opinion on the history taught in schools today? no bias pls

#i h9 u #thanat0ast #long post #asks

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baek--honey · 7 years

Note

1-50 bitch

well since u asked nicely how could i resist

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? paint/draw or the like, or knit maybe,

2. What’s your favorite piece of clothing you own/owned? MY HOT MOMS SHIRT THAT I LOST ;n; also the big grey hoodie i have & a pierce the veil shirt i borrowed from my gf that im never giving back :)

4. How often do you play sports? never

5. What fictional place would you most like to go to? The Digital World

6. What job would you be terrible at? probably anything involving extensive memorizing and maintaining information for long periods of time. so basically a lot of things…… or maybe like. working at starbucks cos i cant make coffee OR remember lots of drink recipes omg

7. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning a medal for? playing kingdom hearts 2 on easy mode. i would have a good chance at winning because all the people that are good at playing kingdom hearts are gaming elitists that think playing on easy is for losers and if you dont play on critical mode you arent a real gamer :)

8. What skill would you like to master? making an omelet OR knitting

10. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? some out of town adventure with my girlfriend where money and time dont matter

11. If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would you change and why? uh i’d like to be less haunted by my traumatic past maybe! or be a few inches taller that would be cool i feel like both of these are pretty self explanatory

12. What’s your favorite drink? W A T E R or milk tea

13. What do you consider to be your best find? my girlfriend

14. Are you usually early or late? way too early. too mcuh time i dont know what to do with it

15. What pets did you have while growing up? hm lets see i had a couple turtles, some fish, i had a gerbil that i got from a friend, an african grey named solomon, boston terrier named Tiny, two white boxers named Floyd & Lloyd, a mix named Macy, 4 chihuhuas named Dude, Pooty, Flout & Chief, and now we have a cat named Schrödinger :~), oh and an amstaff/dalmation mix named EL

16. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with? anything and everything but never really asking for advice i guess? its more of them talking about a problem cos im easy to talk to and then me trying to help them come up to a solution if they need it

17. What takes up too much of your time? S L E E P I N G

18. What do you wish you knew more about? cats!!!! also dogs cos i know a lot but i want to know more

19. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years? why am i still alive?

21. Who’s your go-to band or artist when you can’t decide on something to listen to? seventeen or monsta x, exo’s LMR repackaged album

22. What shows are you into? the office, lost, honestly nothing thats still running on tv, i havent watched a show in forever, oh god wait does anime count cos i could write the longest list of anime i love: haikyuu, nge, digimon, noragami ,,,,,,

23. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? Seventeen (Hangul: 세븐틴), also stylized as SEVENTEEN or SVT, is a South Korean boy group formed by Pledis Entertainment in 2015. The group consists of thirteen members divided into three sub-units,

24. What age do you wish you could permanently be? a dog mom & i hope i can make that wish come true

25. What would be your ideal way to spend the weekend? napping on and off in bed with my girlfriend and then going to town for sushi & milk tea and then uhhhhhhhhhhh coming back home to nap some more and then go out for noodles for another date :} oh and a dog would be involved if possible because cuddling dogs is best

26. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? physically writing and sending cards/letters in the mail i guess? i dont know if that really counts as doing something the old fashioned way but i definitely dont get as many cards or anything in the mail anymore. i also like to keep physical hand written to-do lists & schedules and stuff

27. What have you only recently formed an opinion on? how bad exo are at dancing turtlenecks and scarves. they are good

28. What’s the single best day on the calendar? october 10th my dogs birthday and also narutos birthday

29. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? asmr???

30. What is the most annoying question that people ask you? “did u have a little lamb?” OR when my grandpa asks me anything about his iphone

31. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on without absolutely no preparation? my dogs or seventeen. OR a half ass presentation about kingdom hearts, trying to explain it while getting around all the plot holes and not nailing down my arguments cos i dont really get it either and theres a lot i dont pay attention to but i could come up with 40 mins of info im sure

32. If you were a dictator of a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? no waking until 10am. no crime or anything will be allowed ill figure out some way to make everything perfect so women can go out alone at night and not be afraid. no discrimination !! all the poc, lgbt, disabled, any minority will be welcome and have safe spaces and any hate will be punished by law. also everyones allowed to have pets in their homes and no home goes without food or power. am i doing this right

33. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? travel out of your comfort zone. like physically travel somewhere and make the most of it but do it with someone cos the buddy system is important

34. What’s worth spending more on to get the best? jackets. i will pay up to 100$ for a good jacket and wear it forever cos itll be confirmed long-lasting and also most likely very comfortable!!!

35. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of? i just want to point out that its not that i dont get the point of it because everyone has their likes and i have my own that other people dont i like that people are into whatever they want to be its just that i am Not into it. and that thing is yuri on ice

36. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? being able to wake up every morning next to my girlfriend and out pets :~)

37. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? corning museum of glass was super neat……. , dollywood, gatlinburg, chicago chinatown, idk i havent been to many interesting places

38. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to? i wana get a tattoo !!!!!!!!

39. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? getting a job interview at barnes & noble because now i have a job there!!!

40. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience it for the first time again? diamond edge chicago

41. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have? all i really want is that job where im paid to sleep

42. How different was your life one year ago? tbh not that much different?? other than i was in school and now im not. i didnt have a job and now i do. i was a year further away from moving

43. What’s the best way to start the day? talking to my girlfriend and also let me just say that first pee in the morning. perfect

44. What quirks do you have? what are quirks exactly i looked up examples to help me think of some but all im thinking of is…i cant have the volume on my tv or radio on an even number it has to be on an odd number??? i have to sleep with a fan on. idk dude

45. What would you rate 10/10? [MV] 몬스타엑스 (MONSTA X) _ 걸어 (ALL IN)

46. What kind of art do you enjoy most? abstract w lots of colors and shapes. geometric stuff

47. What do you hope never changes? my ability to collect myself (unless it gets better which then i hope it does), my passion for art of any sort

48. What city would you most like to live in? anywhere except charleston and somewhere thats not extremely highly populated

49. What movie title best describes your life? Scooby Doo 2 - Monsters Unleashed

50. What’s the best way a person can spend their time? sleeping or hanging out with their pet

#i like how the all in mv is a link #t #thanks for ur time

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alicedoessurveys · 7 years

Text

Alphabet Tag

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes, two. But not bad ones and not while I’ve been driving.  02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have a couple  03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? no  04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? not seriously hurt  05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? I guess I must have had stitches when I had my appendix out but I was too young to remember

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? no  07. Are you self conscious of how you look? yes very  08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? When I’m going out then yes I put makeup on but I wouldn’t say I put a lot on.  09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? No, unless you count getting your teeth straightened then yes I would  10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? their spirit and personality.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I was never grounded  12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? i can’t even think about that, literal nightmare  13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? Yes  14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Take my family away  15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? Idk

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Don’t speak to them  17. Name a time when you had to be strong. when Ethan left  18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Parents used to fight every Sunday when I was a kid  19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? Thankfully I’m not in school anymore  20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Only pets. I cried a lot

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? Yes I’ve had two jobs  22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Not at all :’)  23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? totes emosh  24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? No way. As much as I love the idea of having my own place I dont like being home alone at night  25. How old do you act? Idk, I definitely dont act as grown up as other 22 year olds but then I have times when I act like an 80 year old

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? i don’t speak to a lot of my cousins, its not that we fell out or anything I just have soooooo many cousins and were not all close  27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Family  28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? I can tell my mom anything I just chose to keep some things to myself   29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? I have an older sister. I do get jealous of her because she’s always been the pretty sister and she actually has a job and suceeds at life whereas I’m a 22 year old unemployed girl with anxiety who still lives with her parents and has no idea what to do with her life   30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? every day

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? 5 ft 7, I’m okay being this height  32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? nope  33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Like I said earlier, it depends on the day.  34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Yes  35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Yes

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? real  37. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Bit of both depending on the situation, my mood, who I’m with  38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? Obviously our actions have consequences but I do believe everything happens for a reason  39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Yes  40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? Family

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? Yes  42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? Yes, I have hashimotos thyoiditis  43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? Not in a relationship, never have been.  44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? Nope  45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? Think about death more than I should but thats living with anxiety.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) ‘Penetrating eyes’  47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? I make people laugh, but I’m also easy to make laugh  48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Yes  49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Too many memories with my sis  50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? I haven’t been in class for years now but I did used to get told off for laughing, I’m a giggler

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? To learn and to be with friends   52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Smart, because I’m god with technology and I can quite often answer questions on quiz shows because my brain remembers useless knowledge   53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? I got distinction (highest possible mark in that course) for something I did in theatrical make up class 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? I dont know what that means cause I’m not a student.. 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? History, although I didn’t actually study it but I wish I did

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? No & no.   57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? Yes  58. Is love worth it? Probably 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? No, its none of my business. and if thats what they believe they are feeling at that time then good for them 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? I only say it to family and people I really do love. I think it gets thrown around too much these days

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? Yes, annoyingly. You can’t really do anything without money   62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Average I think. We have a lot of debts but we still never go without or anything like that. Compared to other people I wouldn’t say we are poor   63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? Nope  64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Not gonna lie, id rather win the money (in pounds though cause dollars are useless in UK) because I could help my family, pay for the carpark my church needs, donate some and not have to worry about bills or anything again

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? Like 8, but only because its so important to the world. I don’t like that money is so vital because its something that is so easily lost and peoples lives have crumbled because of money trouble. Its scary.

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? Yes  67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? Its not for me, but who am I to judge anyone else who wants to do that.   68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? Nope  69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Yes  70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Nice

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? Not that long really, I’m too trusting of people and I get attached quickly   72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? If I get the feeling that they trust me, and that they’re a genuine person who actually cares and isn’t just looking for gossip or using me   73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? Nope I’m quite trusting I think  74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? Never. there was someone who I got very close to a few years ago but I still never wanted to do anything like that. We kissed and that was about it but even then I was like nope I don’t like this   75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? i tell my mom the most but theres still stuff I wouldn’t tell her but might tell my close friends. But even then theres stuff that I just wouldn’t tell anyone ever no matter how much I trust them

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? Do you remember the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Hasn’t everyone had negative experiences with people.thats just life  77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? I guess so   78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? i swear we’ve already had this question!  79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? Yes  80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: one of the worst days of my life was a couple years ago. I was in hospital for 10 hours while they did tests and X-rays and shiz because they suspected I had a blood clot in my lung because I had chest pains and I couldn’t breathe and it was just the scariest day. Turns out I didn’t and I was totally fine, it was either a muscle thing or just anxiety..but if I had never gone into hospital that day they would never had done a blood test and would never had spotted that there was something wrong with my thyroid. also turns out that with my type of throid disease, if left untreated it can cause you to go into a coma.. so yeah I guess something good came out of that horrible experience

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Try to figure it out then ask for help if I’m really stuck  82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? I’m a christian so I believe in God & creation but it still blows my mind.   83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? HA no, I don’t trust the government as far as I can throw ‘em.   84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? Depends who it is and what they’ve done  85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? who is Banksy?! I wanna know who it is and what they look like :’)

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? Be polite, have manners, smile  87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Be rude, ignorant, untrustworthy, lie  88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Parents yes. anyone else, it depends if they deserve respect, if they behave in a way that should be respected  89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? Im not disrespectful to my parents. We don’t have the type of relationship where they would punish me anyway, they would just laugh it off  90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? Just cut them out my life tbh

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? N/a  92. When will you graduate high school/college? N/a  93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? N/a  94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? N/a  95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? no, no, yes. I dropped out of college like 3 times.

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Yes  97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? I’ve been pressures to drink but I said no.   98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? No  99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? Nope. 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? It depends on what it is. I’m not very good as resisting temptation if its something I really want to do

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? No  103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I just wear what I want, what I feel comfortable it  104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? Im quite stubborn so I don’t give in to peer pressure  105. What makes you different from people your age? I’ve never been to a nightclub, never got drunk, never had sex, I’m not in university, I actually like my family

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My macbook  107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? Loved ones for sure, my life is going nowhere  108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My teddy I’ve had since I was born.   109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? My pets, my family, my laptop maybe if I had time purely because its so freakin expensive and theres no way I could ever afford to buy another one. Id wanna take my whole bedroom with me because its taken me so damn long to get it how it is now and I’m really happy with it  110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Idk

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? My health & skinny body back, unlimited money for me and my family, for cruelty & hate to be gone from the world   112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Loved ones  113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? Nope  114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? No  115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? Not really, I still make wishes even though I know they won’t come true its just nice to have that hope. I pray more than wish.

(I've just realised theres no ‘x’ and that questions 116-120 are missing..?)

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? Independant   122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Animal cruelty, terrorism, hate of any kind  123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? I hope so   124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Develop  125. Do you think people are generally good ? Everyone has the potential to be good, its about how you are bought up and how you choose to be

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? no. I’m fat, unhealthy, unemployed, single, blah blah blah   127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? nope.. never heard of it..  128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? it depends what the change is but I tend to be scared. Change makes me anxious   129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? Nope  130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? Idk haha

#survey #tag #long

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missbbjean · 7 years

Text

Dear You

You said you liked me, you would constantly say it at the most random of times or that you missed me a girl you have never meant before and how could you possible miss me? but then you explained that you missed hearing my voice, it was relaxing to hear and being able to talk to someone tell them about your day and what bothered you and having that someone not reinsure you of anything but just be there to listen with no judgment. I felt so happy like an idiot for being able to hear that and for being that person for you to talk to but you were also that person for me. For 2 years we talked one year over the comment section of each others pictures on IG and here and there over the DMs of IG then in early 2016 we talked almost everyday over the DMs on IG and then in late February you gave me your number we talked from then on texting and calling. Somewhere around March you already said you wanted to meet but i told you how impossible that was giving the distance between us but in December last year you brought up buying my plane ticket i told you how bad id feel about that because i know it wouldnt be cheap, you didnt bring it up again after that till sometime of this year in February and i wanted to meet you so bad that i agreed to it. So we planed for March but as time got closer for me to go to where you are there was still no message about a plane ticket i grew worried and upset and you never answered my calls or texts. It was the day i was supposed to go down there and nothing nothing from you i cried to my mom for hours so upset, 23 day pass its april now and i get a DM from you over IG like you couldnt really text or call you had to DM over IG like wtf but we talked about it and i shouldve brought up my concerns and what bothered me but i didnt because i didn want to fight i didnt want to argue and like you said "its not like we're together so who am i to say whats you can and cant do" you said you liked me and that you wouldnt mind pursuing more but not with out some sort of proof that i was interested in just you and not multiple people, my proof was facing my biggest fear just for you but i guess that wasn’t proof enough and everything before or after wasn’t either. you then said "again were not together but i dont think youre that interested in me if youre openly giving everyone the same attention " but we talked some more and we had things figures out but i shouldve brought up the fact that you were doing the same giving the same open attention to many other girls, i on the other was not giving that attention like you said i was it was just some 19yr old that left comments on my pictures and my only responses back were ever " thank you, lol, okay or hahah" but yours on girls pictures were stupid kissy heart eye emojis and comments like "damn girl look at you, so beautiful, so pretty, hot" and the list goes on but i bit my tongue because like you said we weren't together and i didnt want to seem i dont know possessive, i know now i shouldve spoke up. but you called the next day asking if we could start where we left off of and i asked with us talking or me coming down there and you said with me coming down there and that same night you bought the plane ticket and everything, there really was no going back and i was so excited that i couldnt sleep at all. I thought finally im going to meet this guy whos been nothing but nice and sweet to me, who ive had nothing but great conversations with where i could just be 100% me. but throughout all of april you still continued with commenting things on other girls pictures again i didnt want to start a fight before i came down there and i had planed to say something well i was there but i didnt want to start something because well id have no wheres to go and lord knows i have anger issues. We spend 4 days together i became sure that yeah i really like this person and maybe even love a little. but when i came home everything fell apart. 2 days go bye and i dont hear from you not even a single text but yet you're on social media multiple times throughout the day and commenting dumb shit AGAIN on girls pictures. we talk on saturday and i bring it up finally and you ask why it was an issue with the 19 yr old commenting what he did on my pictures and you said well its obvious and i said no tell me and you asked why and i said tell me why it was an issue and you said well because I LIKE YOU. so i said if you like me so much why are you commenting dumb shit on girls pictures over IG and you asked "who like you really dont know and i dont remember usernames and your excuse was "well the reason i was asking who is because its probably a client"and i asked "really come on now" and you continue with "well its my job their my client its my job to make them feel pretty or beautiful"like yeah thats youre job when their in you chair not for you to do over social media and like really is it normal for you to comment on your clients half naked pictures?? come on now get real. we end the conversation that night with you saying that wed talk about it more but we never did. sunday goes bye and monday comes around i didnt hear from you but sometime during the day you unfollow me and i get confused more than ever. here you are or were telling me you like me and everything fly me down there to meet you spend that time together and for what what reason, what was the point! days go by i dont hear from you Thursday I tell you we need to talk something serious and you tried to make me feel stupid for it but you never called and you ignored my call we dont talk till Friday when i see you liking a whole bunch of these girls pictures on IG and i mean pictures from early 2016 and late 2015 like duuuude really and then i see theres a recent post from her and just so happened that in the video shes spinning around in a chair and i notice the background, its your room and then you walked in. I call you that night pissed off and you start off with a "hey!" like every things fine and dandy and continue to say "yeah sorry i havent talked to you in a while theres been a lot going on with work i ve been really busy and i could even lose my job" and i was like "oh so busy that yet you had time to be home during the day with a girl in your room" and again you go "well who" like as if you dont know just how many girls have you had over in your room since damn man. so i tell you the usuername because well this time i remembered it and you go "well let me look that up right now" like ohhhhhh COME ON! you know exactly who stop playing dumb and then you say "well we have mutual friends in common" i told you ones that havent ment her in person dont count and so you say "well my parents were home nothing happened" i told you i was there and your parents were home and shit happened so dont give me that and then its :well if it bothers you so much ill stop talking to her" i told you im not the kind of person who tells you who you can and can not talk to but it should be common sense of what your doing is going to bother me or piss me off because here you are or were telling me you like me and everything had me come down there and you sleep with me and all that and yet here you are doing this like really?!?! you say we'll talk about it but again we dont and im just left with more questions and im more upset and you clearly knew that you just didnt and dont care. Sunday i call and call and call because we have something to discuss we talk about it as much as we can and theres nothing that can be done about it that was clearly established. So again i bring up the other issues hoping to get those cleared up more and i ask what was the point of all this and where do i stand now but all you have to say is "well i just got home and i need to go inside ill talk to you more about this" an all i can say is "and then this happens, do you really get everything i just said do you understand" you said yes and i asked really because it seems like it just went right over your head and you said it didnt that we would talk about it. but guess what we never did and i never heard from you again. its been 2 months now since you ruined me and turned my world upside down. and im now wondering just how many other girls have you done this to, how sincere were you with all you said tome, did you even really like me or was i nothing more than a 4 day fuck?..you used me. and yet i cant forget any of it, i wish i could be like you and just forget it all and forget a person like they dont exist as if it never happened. but i cant and it hurts so much to know that i cant erase you from me or my memory and i just want to go back and never agree to it to meeting you not if i knew id end up hurt again after so many years of keeping myself shut up from the world of dating or feelings and i thought i could let down my guard and allow myself to fall again and to think that a guy i told all that to that knew of how i was treated before and everything to a guy who treated me like no other who took me on my first date and i know i shouldve listened to my family i shouldve seen the signs but i thought it would all be okay but i didnt just get a life lesson or burned in the "world of love" i got something far worse. and you continue on like every things fine...im upset with me and im most of all upset with how you handled this. you thought by ignoring or avoiding me that it will go away but it wont and youve only made it worse. I just dont understand why you couldnt be the adult that you so claim to be or to be a man and just fucking be vocal about things like i told you from the very start, why couldnt you just say something like "hey you know it was great meeting you but i dont like you like i thought i did" or something, you think by ignoring or avoiding someone and playing victim that people will get the hint or that it will solve everything but it wont and it doesnt it just makes you a coward and childish. and i cant believe that after everything youve done and put me through with how youve treated me that theres a part of me that still likes you when i should hate you with everything i am but unfortunately it takes more effort to hate then it does to like and you cant just go to hating someone with the snap of your finger it unfortunately doesnt work like that...trust me ive tried.

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