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demonio-fleurs · 11 months

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i was tagged in a 20 Questions meme!

sorry for taking so long to respond, i can be kinda lazy sometimes and was waiting to be able to use my laptop <3 but ty for the tag @iam-jacks-redacted-information !!!

let's dive right in!

1 ) How many works do you have on AO3?

28!

2) What’s your total AO3 words count?

120,637 (owo)

3) What fandoms do you write for?

Red vs Blue, Spider-Man, World of Warcraft and SPYXFAMILY are what are listed on my ao3 profile. I've done my most amount of work in the RvB fandom, but i've also written a LOT for The Hunger Games, Torchwood, and (sadly) Harry Potter and Twilight. Just... not on ao3.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Next Time Around which is an RvB rewrite w/ Tex surviving outside of the Epsilon memory unit, instead of being erased by Church at the end of s9 (which i still need to rewrite and finish waaah) Closure which.. I genuinely don't remember writing. Scars which I wrote on behalf of someone who wanted more non-sibling Carwash fics a cup of coffee in the morning which I wrote after a desire to see more of Wash's tastes/interests changing after the implementation of the Epsilon AI it's all in your head aka, a cute lil thing I did for fifteen minute ficlets that I need to get back into for SPYXFAMILY and twiyor.

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes and no. It depends! I am an awkward person so if I know how to reply, I usually will especially if it's something i can answer! However, if it's something where i can't really think of a good response I might just leave it, or come back to it later.

6) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uh... i tend to not write angsty endings. I like happy endings, I like knowing that despite everything, happiness can still be found. Like I LOVE angst, but I also like rewarding myself with some happy endings.

but one time I wrote about Cinna's death from THG so.... does that count?

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've never finished it, but my intended ending for Next Time Around was to have Tex going to Allison's grave on Earth with Carolina and Wash and laying down Forget-Me-Nots, before going back to live out the rest of her time with the Reds and Blues.

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Never directly, but I also don't really remember a lot of 2015-2018 because of cringe :'). I do think a lot of Peter/gwen fics got indirect hate from peter/mj fans which sucks because Peter has TWO hands!

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have orphaned most of my smut fics, but yes. I have done some basic ass vanilla guy eats out a girl stuff, but my favorite is the kinky sapphic smut. If you ever stumble upon a Tex/Emily Grey smut fic by an orphaned account, that was me :)

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, they're just not for me.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No but last time I checked in 2021 someone had stolen my fucking background/about section from Tex RP blog and that was a COMMON problem I had in the RvB RP fandom on here. So. much. fucking. theft. of. my. god. damn. about. page.

And I put hours of work into it. Hours. It was detailed, and people just keep fucking stealing it somehow.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of!

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

errrr...... Trying to rack my brain but coming up with a blank. i've written fics as favors/gifts for people though! Usually a "I have this idea and no idea how to write it help me pls Ange" thing

14) What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Church/Tex. Something about the inherent doomed by the narrative of it all, how no matter how hard Church tries to pull her close she always drifts away from him, the levels of love and trust they have towards one another.... Like they are DOOMED lovers but also they kinda both know that and that's what makes it so difficult.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really really wanna go back and re-do and finish Next Time Around, and after playing NieR Automata that desire is even more present. but also, one piece is my current hyperfixation so I have no idea if I ever will.

16) What are your writing strengths?

oh. oh god. oh. um. hm.

Probably my short, punchy sentences. Where not a whole lot is being said, but the impact is still really strong and the emotions of what I'm trying to impart are impactful.

Also, my inner character monologues. I love that shit. Lemme open up their mind and tell you their entire secrets

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Combat and physical descriptions B)

Combat is just... Idk. So much going on and it's so hard and you have to be really good about the descriptions and the motions and movements or else it's all a mess. And physical descriptions just... I'm a byproduct of the cringe era so I always worry about how my descriptions will sounds T-T

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

/shrug

I have never attempted to create my own fictional language, and I probably never will. It just isn't for me. I am planning on trying to pick Japanese back up, as when I was a wee child I knew it fairly well, but lost it as the years went on.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Shugo Chara! or Sailor Moon

20) Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Next Time Around is my current magnum opus but it also unfinished and I have no idea when I will pick it back up.

And that's a wrap! Thank you again @iam-jacks-redacted-information for the tag!!! I appreciate it, and i loved reading through your responses! Plus it made me go back through my old ao3 archive and see what I have written which I haven't done in a minute.

Anyways <3 if you wanna play this game please feel free to, and tag me in it! I always feel awkward tagging bc I still don't know a whole lot of people on here anymore QwQ

#fdjkfjsijfsijf my responses all over the place #oh whale <3 #tag games #long post #about ange

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dumbthunder · 2 years

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15 questions 15 mutuals

I was tagged by the lovely @sergeantnarwhalwrites. I didn't realize that it supposed to be one of your OCs answering this, I guess my eyes skipped a line when reading yours. Tazer will be answering these.

I'm tagging @marinesocks @nanashi23 @justnerdy15 @starstruck-strife @manathen @aohendo @fearofahumanplanet @kyofsonder @the-finch-address @athenstheidiot some of you mightve been on @sergeantnarwhalwrites tags, so sorry if I doubled you up

1. Are you named after anyone?

Go ahead and guess where I got the name Tazer from.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I saw Everything Everywhere a few weeks ago and I bawled in the movie theater. Oh wait, I think it was when I saw that dead baby bird in the park. Errrr.... maybe it was when i thought my brother was hurt. Can we come back to this?

3. Do you have kids?

I have a kid brother. I mean, he's an adult now, but he'll always be a kid to me <3

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Oh all the time. I have two friends that don't get it and its hilarious.

5. Whats the first thing you notice about people?

You can tell a lot about someone by looking at their eyes. Where they look. How they look at things or you. If they have some fire in their eyes.

6. Whats your eye color?

Plain ol' brown. Does red count if they're blood shot?

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I love happy endings. I hope that I can get one someday. Not soon, maybe once I'm old and done with the whole hero thing I can settle down.

8. Any special talents?

Besides stretching my arms and bursts of electricity? Uhhh....

9. Where were you born?

San Delphine born and raised. Go Astros! (I'm not really into baseball, my friend used to play for them)

10. What are your hobbies?

Some would say my hero work is my hobby, or the gym, but recently I've taken up knitting for those long hours at a stake out.

11. Do you have any pets?

I wish. I'm too busy to take care of anything else. I've got a few plants at home, but I don't count them as pets.

12. What spots did you play/have you played?

If you don't count power lifting as a sport, we can't be friends. I haven't gone to a competition since I got my power tho. Since I'm stronger than most everyone now its not fair.

13. How tall are you?

Six foot even, but I say five ten when anyone asks. This can be our little secret ;)

14. Favorite subject in school?

Gym, PE, whatever you called it. I was too busy taking care of my brother to care about school.

15. Dream job?

I'm living the dream. A bona-fide superhero. Unless I'm on the news, then I'm a "dangerous vigilante". Some people don't appreciate the work I'm doing. Smh my head.

#writing #oc #san delphine #tazer

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foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland · 1 year

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Heyyy ty sappho ( @iworshipsappho ) for the taggg (this is veryy late i have been BUSYYY today but thog dont caare) this is probably one of the coolest tag games :3

1. Favourite colour and why: I loveeee pink she is so cutesy and pretty and beautiful and my best friend ever in the world and also orange she is beautifullll and my wife and i love her she makes everything sooo wonderful and is rhe reason i love sunsets so much AND BROWN she is the cosiest girl on earth thee is no cosier colour than brown shes the colour of HOMEEE dude

2. Five comfort movies: ooo man idk i dont watch movies often. But i suppose Brave is one of them its always been suchhh a comfort movie <333 other than thattt idk man haha

3. Favourite season and why: SUMMERRRR SUMMER SUMMER SUMMERRRR I LOVEEEE SUMMER he is my husband and i love him. Summer <333 eveyrhting is so golden and bright and beautiful and amaz g and warm and comfortable and happy and AAA i love summer so much <33333

4. Favourite book(s): ahahahahah fuck i dont read much like. At all. I like the sudoku book i have i suppose ???? And my sketchbook :3

5. Favourite aesthetic and why: imagine. Life is strange. As an aesthetic. All of life is strange. Everything that is life is strange is my aesthetic. I love life is strange. So much

6. Favourite genre and why: oo depends on what. Genre of music ?? Fuckinn. Lemme ask spotify haha one moment. Well my top mixes are Happy Chill Indie Rock Acoustic and Punk so like errrr. Idk man. I like songs that sound good. Like. Video game soundtracks. And. Will wood. Favourite genre of story ??? I likeeee. Actually quite a lot of stuff tbh sooo yea ill just stick 2 music

7. Favourite clothes style: timothy rand from blood in the bayou. I wanna look as horrendous as he does. He is so incredibly awesome. Alsoooo like. Dude idk what to describe it as. My favourite pieces of clothing i own areeee my black tshirt w awesome art of some random californian forest i think, my many tank tops, my denim jacket n my new b&w flannel anddd my black jeans and my denim skirt and my greenblue boots and my VANS :3 anddd my many necklaces and a ton of eyeliner and mascara and eternally black nails anddddd yea :33 but mainly timothy rand ^__^

8. Favourite music genre: well shit i already answered this. Here ill just put my fav story genre. Which is errr. Well. Idk man. I like love stories but mainly the kind that r disguised as love storiez (AND NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY) as much as i go crazy insane over romances i do fucking love the sorta Power Of Friendship Stories. Like i love riptide and i love doctor who and i love life is strange and i love omori and i love little nightmares bc theyre all like, everything sucks so much. And there are awful people and awful things in tne world. But atleast theres fucking friends and atleast we can love those friends and atleast theres beauty in the world. Love when a storys like. Uh oh the horrors (but also theres friends)

9. Favourite artists: WILL WOODDDD will wood is so fuckin good man his music is like the only music i cant get sick of even after listening to it for like. A week straight. Other than him i cant think of any individual artist i rlly like. Errr lemme check spotify again. C418 is like one of the only other examples i have a lot of the songs of in my Playlist. And cavetown but that was 2020. And crywank oo ig even tho i dont listen much anymore. And good kid but i listened 2 much in july and im sick of them now. And jhariah but thats just 1 album my friend recced. Ok and lemon demon but hes like a free pass. Ok and lovejoy as well but theyre also a free pass. And slaughter beach, dog but that was like a one week obsession n then i overlistened. Ok and toby fox and id say hes a free pass but hes Built Different ok hes more than a free pass. And two door cinema club but that was also just 1 album. Ok and wilbur hes also a free pass shut up. Anyways will woods music is good

9.5 I FORGOR SONGS IM ADDING THIS IN NOW: FAVORITE SONGS: ERR FUCKING SKELETON APPRECIATION DAY IN NY BY WILL WOOD ITS A BANGER. MY SPOTIFY ISNT LOADING SO I CANTNTHNK OF ANY OTHER BUT I LOVE SKELETON APPREICATION DAY. AND ALSO. CAUSE FOR CONCERN MY BBG. AND. FINE BY LEMON DEMON. AND. SOME OTHERS. THAT SPTOIFY WONT OPEN FOR. oh and also like the entire omori soundtrack and the entire LOFEMIS STRNAGE SOUNDTRACJ I LOVEEEEE ALL THE LIS SONGS SOOOOO MUCH and the entire unoackinf sojndtrack ok bye the end

10. Favourite fandoms: dude ok like. The mcyt fandom sucks in a way that i also love so much it has such a special place in my heart n despite me being muchhhh more on the outside of the fandom now and only still being here by proximity rlly its definitely like. A good one

11. Hobbies: PHOTOGRAPHY !!!!! and visual art BUT MAINLY PHOTOGRAPHY !!!!! And playing silly video games :3 but photography ^__^

12. Care language u give: i try with words but mostly just spending time together. If someones having a bad time i will spend time with them so they have a good time. But most the time thats not possible soooo i try 2 show i care with like. WAIT. i misread this as. Like. Sympathy. Like what u do when someones havin a bad day. Care language isss. Still spending time together, i will invite the ppl i care abt to hang out :3 anddd infodumping i only infodump to ppl i rlly care abt bc i trust them and want them to know abt the things that make me happy !!!! Bc then they can maybe like it too !!! :3 anddd in person Existing in each others proximity :333

13. Care language u like to recieve: physical touch <3 AND QUALITY TIME SOOO MUCH invite me to things ill love u forever. And like. Ppl thinking of me even if im not around. Love that shit so much

14. Are u more of extrovert/introvert/ambivert: EXTROVERTTTT i loveeeee people so much i love my friends and need them so much and i love meeting new ppl BUT I COME OFF AS AN INTROVERT just bc im scared of rejection and im used 2 ppl hating me for my autistic swag BUT i still love ppl so much <333

15. Morning/night person: a morning person forced 2 be a night person. But i loveeee the morning sooooo much even tho i am better at staying up late i HATEEEE the night and i LOVEEEE the morning

16. City/country/suburbs and why: hmmm i think i like the suburbs bc like dude its just fuckin Home like i hate the city bc its overwhelming and too big and too expensive and too polluted and too PUBLIC. And i do like the country but it feels unfamiliar to me bc i dont go there too often. And ofc theres a lack of easy paths to walk on when it comes 2 roads n shit. So i like the suburbs :3 its just fuckin home as mcuh as they suck

17. Favourire time of day + why: I LOVEEEE 8am so much. And 11am. Comfy times. BUT ONLY WHEN THEY BELONG TO ME if im spending my 8am or 11am doing smth i dont wanna do for someone i dont respect I HATE IT, but when 8am or 11am is MINE to do with as i PLEASE. Best times in the day. And 8pm bc a lotta things happen at 8pm

18. Do u have any religious beliefs: nah not rlly just bc my parents r awful n raised me 2 believe religion is "Evil" and just fuckin. Bad shit. But like even tho i ofc fuckin disagree w them to hell n back, still an atheist and will mostttt likelyyy stay that way i think ?

19. What does your ideal family look like to you: dude fucking Not Blood Family. My family is the ppl i love n the ppl i feel comfortable around and my family is my friends and my Blood Family will be dead to me the moment i move out. My ideal family is a group of ppl who love and care for each other and do not need to fuckin Seal It With Marriage Or Blood or whatever the fuck. Just ppl who look after each other and ppl who love each other whoever the fuck that is

20. Dream future: being happy and never talking to my parents and loving life still

21. Dream place to visit: wherever my friends live :3 never liked travel before so idk where id want to go bc ive always hated travelling so much bc ive never travelled w/o my family so. Yeah. Bad

22. Favourite type of nature: I LOVE RIVERS AND LAKEZ !!!!!! so much. And wetlands. And big meadows.

23. Favourite habitat: ooo ive liked savannahs a lot :33 but mainlyyy forests bc like the Technical Biome of where i live is a forest so its just like. Home yaknow

24. Describe myself in 4 words: IN, LOVE, WITH, LIFE !!!!!!!! :3 (or alternatively: fuck, it, we, ball)

25. If i could be another thing on earth whatd i be: A CAT A KITTY CAT MROW MEOW MEOW MEOW EMOW MEOW MEOWWWW ID BE A KITTY KITTY KITTY CAT A KITTY CAT KITTY CAT !!!!!!! :3c

26. Favourite type of weather: SUMMER THUNDERSTORMS and also veryyyy sunny days with like. 10% cloud cover. Perhaps 20%. But mostly blue sky :3

27. If u could travel anywhere right now where would it be: ANYWHERE ELSE ANYWHERE ELSE I HATE IT HERE !!!!!! but also. The house of one of my friends. So that i can sleep over and then hwng out. Bc im eepy. But also i need my friends.

28. Do u have any fears, serious or otherwise: i am scared offfff my parents and of school and of rejection and of social isolation and of outer space andddd. Of bad things happening to my cat.

29. Dream job: capitalism hater, royalty assassinator.

30. Would you be a pirate/vampire/cowboy/astronaut/werewolf/wizard/witch/knight/cryptid and why: A PIRATEEEE A PIRATEEE ID BE A FUCKINN PIRATEEE I LOVE PIRATES id also be a witch i wanna mix herbs n shit snd make silly magic with potions. And as cool as wizards are, i dont wanna be a technician. Wanna be an alchemist. Witch. Witch pirate. But mainly pirate i LOVEEE PIRATESSS SOOOO MUCH

#night thoughts #tag game #i am so tired rn but i rlly liked doign this thank u spapho

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caveiratimida · 2 years

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15 Questions and 15 Mutuals

tagged by @forsty 😊 thank youuuu

1) Are you named after anyone? Not that I know of!? All I know is my parents both looked at each other like "None of our daughters will be named Maria something.". Guess it is because my mum and her sisters' are Maria so!

2) When is the last time you cried? Yesterday! Because of TLOU Episode 3 and Linda Ronstadt. Crying is healthy!

3) Do you have kids? Nope! Don't think I want any and if I do have them I think I would like to adopt.

4) Do you use sarcasm a lot? Hmm depends. I don't use sarcasm online but I guess as a condition of having lived in the UK for 3 years I do used it with people. HOWEVER, I don't like it unless it is my close friends using it because others make me feel like I am back in school being mocked. Especially because I don't always understand it is sarcasm.

5) What’s the first thing you notice about people? ... I have been told I focus loads on noses. Like faces in general but it is true I like to study noses. I think it fascinating! Other than that I follow my gut.

6) What’s your eye colour? Brown. Dark brown. Personally I find it boring but I am learning to love them.

7) Scary movie or happy ending? I am the worlds biggest coward and can't handle scary movie so it has gotta be Happy Ending all the way my dudes!!!

8) Any special talents? Errrr my shoulders always crack whenever I roll them? I guess??

9) Where were you born? Torres Vedras, Portugal! It is near the sea and about 40km north of Lisbon.

10) Do you have any hobbies? When I make time for them... I love to draw and especially like trying to make little animatics. I have also delved into embroidery which I find very soothing. Other than that I love to swim and play games!

11) Do you have any pets? I got Babushka my little dwarf hamster! She is a white gremlin who I love very much <3

12) What sports are/have you played? I used to play football every break. Then it was basketball and now it is... nothing. Although I try to swim when possible and I have the energy for it!!

13) How tall are you? According to my ID 1.68m!

14) What’s your favourite subject in school? I loved History and still do! In fact, I don't like reading fictional books normally. Most of my shelf consists of cold hard fact history books.

15) Dream job? If possible, I would love to travel around and do little animations about Portuguese History and Folklore! Or even just documenting rural traditions that still exist.

Hmmm I would like to tagggg @bearsinpotatosacks @kloofspeaks @moonpiepig @misschangeable and I think that is it but anyone else who wants to do it go ahead!!

#tag games #thank you for the tagggg

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nofr1lls · 2 years

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I HAVE BEEN TAGGED BT @isomorbism !!!! THANK U!!

r U named after anyone: yeth but I have a couple of names and middle names and such all from family members. yiayia ily 🫶

when was the last time u cried: today actually I had a rlly important convo w ma we sort of had a breakthrough it was good and we don't rly ever talk to eachother like that,,, anyway. nobody asked I cry probably the normal amount honestly maybe once a month or so. usually out of frustration

do u have kids no

do u use sarcasm no. yes. nooooo. shut up

the first thing I notice abt people is whatever facet of them I experience first??? so it differs. idk what else this q means sorry

what's ur eye colour? nondescript non-brown colour. I get super squinty in the sun 👎👎

scary movies or happy endings: errrr where would one b without the other. scary ig.

any special skills? my response to this is always that I'm reaaaaally good at balancing one leg tiptoe like I can just stand there. go me

where were u born? same country I live now. I've only left once

what r ur hobbies ballet, local history, supermarket research, egg peeling, bushwalking, art. blogging and listening 2 tunes also 🤫

do u have any pets does my little(st) brother count. no.

do u/ have u played any sports YES and I'll give U a list rn. I've danced ballet since I was abt 8 and I rlly enjoy it but I have never aimed to get anywhere near professional. its a hobby I do well at the level I'm at. I played tennis all of hs and I was pretty good i was on a few rep teams and played outside school as well I miss it sooooooooo much. soccer and netball I was in teams with my friends sometimes and I sucked ASS but they were fun. in my last years of hs I did track and I'm going to take this opportunity to tell the mutuals that I can run really really fast I'd just like to share that me fact like b4 I ever started training I was the 6th fastest at the 100m in my whole school of over 1200 students including all of the track team kids (I didn't even have spikes 😩) when I was 15 ok just know that abt me and I'll never mention it again it is genuinely one of the things I'm most proud of ok whatever I've wasted my one proper talent bye

how tall r U average height FUCK!!! off

fav school subject prooobs history or art.

dream job dun have one comedian shut up shut up shut up shut up

congrats if U real to the end of this LONG ASS horse-music info post ily forever let's move in 2gether @dacergirl369 @groundbreakingdot872 @acasternaut @ivorysongbird

NO PRESH 2 DO THIS KIND OF TOOK AGES

#tag game #room temp

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elizabethrobertajones · 2 years

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Still thinking about how I rolled up to yoga (rehabilitative for people with Problems, largely MS, largely over 40, quite a few over 60, 100% women right now) on the first hot day that coincided with it, and as I walked up to the rest of the group one of the women cooed "oooh have you lost weight?" (I have no idea, I wasn't wearing a huge sweater for the first time they had seen me as such in 2+ years and I breast boobily in sweaters and become entirely cylindrical).

And I was startled and confused and said, "Oh, I don't know, I haven't weighed myself since I was a teenager?" (I'm 32 and starting a pandemic-era white streak in my hair)

And the WHOLE group went silent, dropped their side conversations, and stared at me like I was a creature in the zoo for about 10 seconds with no words, until I vaguely waffled, "I, uh, heard it was toxic...." (trailed off without finishing "to your sense of self and wellbeing" because they were just getting more bug eyed and that sentence may as well have been me making weird bloop bleep alien noises.)

Thankfully my friend there started up more different conversation with me, but. Now I'm just haunted by all these stares of 40-70 year old women who have never even conceptualised that someone gender presenting female might have gone through life not thinking about their weight, and their collective visible shock. Damage done to them over their lives by society and how it is completely normal to think about it all the time, notice it all the time in other people, talk about it (which they do for themselves) all the time.

I understand a lot of them are dieting around complicated health stuff but whenever I buy cake for lunch it's also clear that having to control their food is not something they're unused to and they simply have to adapt what they were ALREADY doing to what they now HAVE to do. They're always shocked and amused when I do it. My heart is kind of broken for them, because body positivity is such a recent moment that they really had no chance and even learning about it now they're so wired to feel that pain...

I don't even know what to do about it aside from keep on ordering cake for lunch. Maybe they will get brave enough to do it too?

#diet culture cw #weight loss cw #body talk cw #errrr what do people tag things as #disordered eating cw #the yoga place has vegan courgette chocolate cake I think it will probably be a good start XD #food cw #food mention cw

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nottonyharrison · 3 years

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writing tag game~

thank to @ejunkiet for the tag!

how many works do you have on Ao3?

102, some of which are art or multimedia compilations

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

365,868. Over 120k are from this year 😬

aaand now for the cut

what are your top 5 fics by kudos? (I’m not going to include anything mediavengers related in this as they’re mostly not fic and when they are it’s metafiction)

Not Allowed (888) MCU, Tony/Steve, Tony/Rhodey an ancient rule63 Tony fic that barely scraped over 1.5k words and I can’t believe people still give kudos to from time to time because I was a Bad Writer™ back then

A Bit of Reciprocity (868) Good Girls, Beth/Rio

The Flood I Saw Just Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow (624) Good Girls, Beth Rio, the infamous pegging fic

Hazy Shade of Winter (599) Good Girls, Beth/Rio

Officially/Unofficially (588) MCU/HP crossover, Hermione/Tony. Again, no idea why people still read this and kudo it occasionally. Have definitely considered orphaning it.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try and respond to every comment, I tend to go through once every week or two and do them all at once. Sometimes I just mark them as read if I have no response (or am not sure how to infer what the commenter’s saying which has happened a couple of times recently), or if it’s just like ‘I love [ship]’ or someone’s comment on a character that has nothing to do with the fic itself because... IDK as much as I try to appreciate every comment that type more just get my hopes up when I see the email notification and then I’m like oh. No actual comment on the fic then. Cool.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Well this is an exercise in fic deep diving! I have no idea, really? Definitely something from ye olden days.

Recently, Equilibrium

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

How long is a piece of string?

Errrr... I was going to say Good People, but then I remembered about Stop, Reset and was like... yeah that one

do you write crossovers?

I’ve written a few, all for HP fic exchanges.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Oh yeah. I was on FFN for years, of course. Always to do with ship wars.

More recently, I had a lot of hate over The Pegging Fic, and just a bunch of other generalized anon trash in my inbox every now and then.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nah, never 🤣

I have no idea how to quantify the kind of smut I write. If anyone has any idea, let me know.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Lol, no I have not had that honour. You have to actually write things people want to read for that to happen.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Someone translated a flash fiction I wrote years ago into Russian. I think it’s in the MCU A-Z somewhere? IDK it was years ago.

have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I think my writing style would be too contradictory for the vast majority of fellow authors.

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

This is a joke question, right? I’ve been in fandom for over 20 years come on!

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Dark Angel 2031, hands down. All my other WIPs that are abandoned are marked that way and I have no intention of ever revisiting them

what are your writing strengths?

IDK... just general prose, I guess? And the ability to get it (mostly) right on the first draft and only needing a few edits.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Keeping focussed, overuse of the word ‘just’, word repetition, impatience when it comes to posting, post-posting anxiety

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I hate this as a reader, so I don’t do it in fic unless it’s a widely known word or phrase (whether it be IRL or in fandom). I’d rather put “how are you today,” they asked in French, than have someone need to read a translation in a footnote.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Fandom that Shall Not Be Named

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably Of Duty, just because it’s so intricately plotted and I’ve worked so hard keeping the continuity while foreshadowing a bunch of stuff, and kept up with the character threads despite them beign spread out across the galaxy.

tagging - anyone who wants to share! Consider yourself tagged! Plus a few extras who I’d love to hear from @purgetroopercody @voxmyriad @parkotedarasuum @countessofbiscuit @ct-1994 @medievalraven @indiana-jackson

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mortifyingideal · 3 years

Text

i was tagged in this by the wonderful @fremulon (thanks cherry!) and accidentally deleted the whole thing twice so now i'm mostly just posting it out of spite and without a read more due to said spite. SUCK IT TUMBLR.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 10 published out loud and 1 published anonymously

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

226419

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

okay so this is really only my most recent life. i have been around a lot. a lot. i was there, gandalf, during the superwholock years (and an active participant) so over the course of my life it's like

Harry Potter, Teen Titans, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Inception, Daredevil, The Avengers, The Musketeers, Wells & Wong Mysteries, Twin Peaks, Homestuck, Red vs Blue

but in this lifetime i'm just writing for Good Omens (and have written for DuckTales and Cruella)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1 — Loosely Ballroom (surprising absolutely nobody)

2 — Look Not Too Deep

3 — ergo propter hoc (okay this one is kind of a surprise actually but i'm very happy about it i love this fic)

4 — café au vin

5 — an institute you can't disparage

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do! i try to respond to every comment i get on the day of/the day after i get it. i've met a lot of good friends this way, and i also just like taking the time to respond to people who've taken the time to respond to something i made. makes me feel good (plus i want everyone to like me)

the only downside is it can get a bit overwhelming at times? particularly with LB, which gets a shitload of comments per chapter and can take me up to two full days to read through them all and answer, and if i'm having a bad brain time i just cannot face doing it. so if you've ever left a comment and i've not responded, i promise It's not because i don't appreciate it. my brain machine just was going brmmmmmmmmm.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i was going to say NONE BECAUSE I DON'T WRITE ANGST but i guess if i had to decide it would be the RVB fic that's on my ao3 right now, which has an angstily hopeful ending.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

hahahaha

CRAZY LIKE A FOX

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not as far as i'm aware! i have had several uhhhhhhh overly familiar meant-to-be-jovial comments on/about the above crossover from people i don't really know very well that have told me i'm a terrible person or i've committed crimes while i'm out here like, cool this is art i made and put in the world for fun and believe in and i don't really... know you? but those comments were meant in good faith imo so i don't really think it counts as hate

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

the last time i tried to write smut, crowley got stabbed, so the kind that sends people to the hospital i guess?

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge. good luck formatting all the images and italics, anyone who might try.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

again, not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

infamously. it's the only reason anyone might have read this far. also attempting to collaborate on an as-of-yet-unfinished-project with @indieninja92 who is a creative genius with their finger in many, many pies. speaking of, have you visited hauntedswords.com recently?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

errrrrr i mean probably aziraphale/crowley, not to seem obvious. they've been with me since i was like 10 years old, they haven't gone anywhere, they will probably be bothering me until the day i die.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL FINISH ALL OF MY WIPs. okay no that's not true, i have the start of an inception fic that is a GO AU that i honestly think would have been fucking slammin' but the time for that has passed now.

15. What are your writing strengths?

a very definite sense of character voice, attention to detail in terms of enriching the world i'm writing in, dialogue dialogue dialogue, smash cuts (are they even called smash cuts in writing? WHATEVER THEY ARE I CAN DO THEM)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

you are my collaborator. you send me back part of a chapter and tell me i have a sentence that is a bit too lengthy and doesn't work, and i need to edit it. i send it back to you. the sentence is now an entire paragraph and a half, with three jokes, a metaphor and a new line of dialogue embedded in it, changing the overall tone of the chapter. this is known as The Mort Special.

i also get very in my own head about not really being a good writer, or not being as good as the people (or person specifically i suppose) that i'm working with. i'm working on this! i'm not working on The Mort Special, though, that's always writing gold.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this is a really weird and specific question, who hurt you OP? errrr i guess much like any quirk of writing, it's fine when used sparingly and with a deft hand.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

fuck me, probably Harry Potter? neopets roleplaying boards were a gateway drug.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

this is the part where i pretend i'm going to say something other than Loosely Ballroom. i don't think i'll ever make something else in my life that's made me feel the way making that has. it's been—to delve into reality TV speak (and paraphrase crowley from a future chapter)—a real emotional rollercoaster.

plus it's just fuckin' funny isn't it.

tagging @phoenix-soar, @thyra279, @heycaricari, @stillseekwill and @katnoggin (and anyone else who might want to!)

#I do talk a lot of wank don't i #ask memes #my fic

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elismistscorner · 3 years

Text

OC Interview: Eli Aleksandros

Draw (or use an old drawing, don’t worry!) or take a screen of your character in an interview setting and make them answer the following questions!

---

Thank you @i-mybrunettelady and @thoseofuswhoblossom for tagging me, this was fun to do!

---

Off stage:

Eli: "Do I really have to do this? it feels so pretentious and blah"

Albus: "Yes! You are a hero to these people, and maybe knowing about you will help inspire others! You will be fine, and I'll be right over here for you."

Eli: sighs "okay."

INTRODUCTION

Can you introduce yourself?:

“Hello, I am Eli, Champion of Aurene.” After a moment of silence, Albus interjects: "You might also know him as Dragon slayer, God slayer, Guild leader, Priory Archon or Magister, Hero of Lion's Arch, Hero of Shaemoor, and ex-commander of the Pact-" "Oh my god. Albus!!" "Love you~"

What is you gender identity, orientation and relationship status?:

"I'm male, and...” looks over at Albus "engaged to that goof over there."

Where and when were you born?:

“I errrr... am not sure exactly where I was born, but I grew up within the walls of Divinity's Reach in Salma District. Well, at least until my elemental abilities started to show, and then I was sent to the Priory HQ but still inside Divinity's Reach. For the second part of that question; I am about old enough to be a sylvari secondborn.”

What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?:

“I guess I was 'classically trained' in the Priory to use the staff, so that may be what I am most confortable with. Albus helped me train with the sword when we realized we would have to confront Balthazar... that did not turn out so well, but against non-gods I can hold my own. However, now that I find myself in a bit of a lull, I have begun training with other weapon types, but that's confidential information... at least for now” he chuckles.

Lastly, are you happy?:

After a brief pause to think his answer, Eli looks down at his ring and then at Albus. "Yeah. I would say so."

FAMILY AND FRIENDS

What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?:

"Hmm... well, like I mentioned earlier, I don't have any clues on my biological parents, but Uncle Andrew raised me like his own, and his daughter, Petra, is like a sister to me. I haven't been able to visit them in some time, but we exchange letters; they're doing well."

Have you ever ran away from home?:

"Technically yes? 'Ran away' makes it sound dramatic. As a child, I just wanted to find a place where I could figure out my elemental abilities without hurting anyone."

Would you consider marriage or having children?:

Eli looks over at Albus who is clearly waiting to hear this answer. "Okay so. Earlier, when I said I was engaged, I lied a little bit. Albus and I are actually married! He declares with joy and relief. "After I recovered from Bangar's ambush in Drakkar's lair, we decided to not waste any more time. We had been going non-stop for so long, and we were headed into an uncertain future, so we decided to just get married right there in the Eye of the North with some of our guildmates present, and Aurene of course. It was really nice actually. On the subject of children, does Aurene count?" he laughs.

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?:

"What? I don't... what? They're not really your friend if you.. hate... them? I'm not sure I understand the question."

Which friend knows everything about you?:

“Definitely Albus," he smiles "he's seen me at my best and worst. However, I do also have a couple good friends in the Order of Whispers, who I trust enough to confide in. But also, who knows what information they have on me in their archives. So maybe them too. Oh and Jory as well; again, she's someone I trust, but she's also very intuitive and a personal detective. Haha, maybe my life is not as private as I would like it to be”

ASKED BY FANS

Are you literate? Have you been to school?:

“Did you say this was asked by a fan? Anyway, yes. Like I mentioned, I grew up partially in the Priory so...”

The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?:

“So, this is less a prediction, and more a theory I had. See, I've always been fascinated by the mists and alternate realms or dimensions; fractals if you will. And I always thought there must be some way, when all the stars perfectly align for a soul to come back from the dead by traversing through time/space in the right way. And well, here I am.”

What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?:

With an almost apologetic look, Eli glances at the floor, then up at Albus. “That I have managed to surround myself with very capable people, and that I can trust them to hold their own... aaand that I cannot do this alone; I need them.”

Do you have mental health or physical issues?:

“When you say these are fan questions... like who exactly... I'll say this. I am very lucky to have the people I have around me. They help me stay grounded.”

What is your current main goal?:

“For so long my only goal has been to survive. Except not even that. So for now I don't have any goals per se. Although I am looking forward to the Festival of the Four Winds to return. We always use it to take some time off and just be. The beaches are really nice-" "Also the Queen's Jubilee!" Albus interrupts. "Hah... On a different note, I've read so much about Cantha, and now that I've explored Elona, I'd like to see the Jade Sea, but who knows when that will happen.”

CHOICES

Drink or food?:

“Oh hmmm.. it depends on when you ask me. When we were lost in the (Magumma) jungle, between the rivers and creeks and the HUMIDITY, I never really thirsted for a drink, but a nice meal would have really hit the spot. However, while wondering through Elona, there were so many times I would've killed for a refreshing drink. So... both?

Cats or dogs?:

"Oh dogs for sure"

Early bird or night owl?:

“Hmmm... well, the Elonian sky is a true wonder that can only be perceived at night but sunrises are nice... No, you know what. I'm a night owl. Yup. Don't know why I hesitated”

Optimist or pessimist?:

"I don't think I could... I have to believe things can and will improve, otherwise why would I bother going through everything I have?"

Sassy or sarcastic?:

“I think sarcasm? I know I definitely cannot out-sass Albus.”

HAVE YOU EVER

Been caught sneaking out:

“Pretty sure it happened in the Priory a couple times. Except... I wasn't sneaking out, I was... sneaking... in.” he sighs "I wanted to get in the library after hours and keep researching...-" "OH MY GOD ELI HAHAHA" Albus bursts off-stage.

Broke a bone:

“Wait like, A specific one? I don't... Like, you realize it is statically impossible that I would have gotten this far without such an injury.“

Received flowers:

“Yeah actually! It was nice.“

Ghosted someone:

Eli's gaze wanders as he takes a moment to think of an answer. "Oh, I guess I have. There was this one time that I accidentally ghosted a couple friends... when I died HAAAA!" He boasts with unwarranted pride on his own joke while scanning the room's reactions. "Get it? cause I was a ghost!" he grins. "That was good, wasn't it?" Albus simply facepalms in the corner.

Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get:

“Let me remind you again, I grew up inside basically a library full of smart people. Smart people that sometimes like to show off just how smart they are by using humor they know you will not understand because you're a CHILD.”

After the interview:

Eli: "So? how did I do?"

Albus: "You were great, as I knew you'd be. You we're yourself, and that's all I would ever ask of you."

Eli: "Thanks. I'm glad you were here with me."

---

I tag (with no obligation of course, I would love to catch up on old OCs or learn about new ones but you can pass!):

I feel to "new" to tag people haha. I guess I tag you the reader! If you've been waiting on someone to tag you to join the fun, this is your chance! :D

Also @thepinkywarband, get on this (if you wanna) :3

#OC Interview #Eli #Albus #My OCs #lore bits

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 4 years

Text

Alone (2/2)

Leviathan x gn!MC

Content Warnings - implied/reference self harm, self harm scars, LOTS of angst, kinda Yandere Levi, setting healthy relationship boundaries, happy ending

Summary - After talking to Mammon, you manage to figure out what’s wrong with Levi and the two of you have a serious heart to heart, setting some important boundaries. PART ONE HERE

Chapter 2 - After

You had barely been able to concentrate during school. Your thoughts were full of Levi and what had happened this morning. You weren’t sure what had caused him to snap like that, but you were willing to bet it had something to do with why he was so upset yesterday. Now if only you could figure out what had upset him then, you might be able to figure out a way to help.

You sighed again, as you poked the food on your plate. It was lunch time now and normally you would be texting Levi to see how things were going in his classes and to update him on your day, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do that until you got your thoughts in order and had a proper conversation with him.

“Whattya sighin’ for? Ya been doing it all day and it’s startin’ ta get on my nerves.”

Though he was trying to sound annoyed, you could tell that Mammon was concerned. He had apologized to you while helping you prepare breakfast for crashing your date with Levi yesterday. He knew he should have changed his plans once he realized everyone else wanted to tag along. (He didn’t bother to try to deny the fact that he still would have shown up on his own if it had been possible.)

You had been quick to forgive him, which Mammon appreciated, but he also wasn’t sure you had been really listening to him all that much. Your mind had seemed to be elsewhere. Normally he would have called you out on it too, demanding you pay attention to The Great Mammon and act a bit more grateful he was helping you out. But he got the feeling that even if he had said anything it wouldn’t have made a difference - you just seemed that distracted.

“Hey. Ya gonna tell me what’s up?”

His voice had softened now, the teasing tone gone. You looked up to see Mammon watching you intently. You tried to offer him a smile, but you were unsuccessful and the face you made was somewhere between pain and worry.

“I...ummm...promise this stays between us ok? You can’t tell ANYONE. And you have to promise that you will not try to do anything about it. Ok?”

Mammon did not like the sound of that. He furrowed his brow, but agreed nonetheless.

“I...I got in a fight with Levi. I think at least. I’m not sure. This morning he just wasn’t...well, he wasn’t himself. And it kinda scared me. So I left. And we haven’t talked yet. I don’t even know what to say to him.”

Mammon listened closely to your words. He still didn’t know what happened, but he could tell you were doing everything you could to avoid saying it. A fight with Levi? Pfft. What did you do? Insult Ruri-chan? How could you not be sure if you had a fight? And what do you mean Levi wasn’t….

“HE WHAT?!” Mammon jumped to his feet, ready to head home immediately and beat the living daylights out of his younger brother. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. That pathetic, whiny brat transformed on you?! What the fuck was he thinking??

“Mammon! Please! Calm down!”, you pleaded with him. People were staring now and you really didn’t want to cause a scene. The last thing you needed was more trouble with angry demons, upset because you disturbed their lunch.

Taking one look at you, Mammon sat down with a huff. He was still ready to rip Levi limb from limb, but had promised you that he wouldn’t try to do anything about what you had told him. He’d just have to come up with some reason to teach him a lesson later.

“Fine.”

“Thank you. It wasn’t like it was on purpose…”

“That’s even worse!”

“...He was just so upset. He was scared of something, but I don’t know what. And he just kept asking me not to leave.”

“So what are ya gonna do? You’re not seriously going back to him, are ya?”

“Of course I’m going back to him! Don’t be ridiculous. He didn’t actually DO anything. He got upset, but he let me go.

I just...need to find out what happened to him that got him so worked up. Everything seemed to be going so well until yesterday afternoon when y’all showed up at the tea house.”

“Oh.”

“What do you mean ‘oh’? Do you know something I don’t?”

“Errrr...well…kinda?”

You were glaring at Mammon now. ‘Kinda’ my ass, you thought.

“Alright alright! Stop lookin’ at me like that! I’ll tell ya! Sheesh.

Ok. So look. Levi’s the Avatar of Envy right? Means he gets jealous real easy. Up until now, y’all have sorta been off in your own little world and haven’t paid much attention to the rest of us.

But yesterday, we all showed up durin’ your date, yeah? When Levi wasn’t even at the table.

So I’m thinkin’ he saw us all talkin’ and havin’ fun and whatever and got jealous. And that’s what set him off.”

Ah. That made sense. Why didn’t you think of that earlier? How could you possibly be so dense as to not notice that your own boyfriend was jealous?? He’s the personification of Envy for crying out loud! You knew that! Jealousy should have been the first thing you suspected given the timing of everything.

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, leaning back in your seat, covering your face with your hands. Just how oblivious were you?

“So, this morning, when he was saying all the stuff about not wanting me to leave….”

“Probably ‘cause he was feeling insecure and scared ya’d leave ‘im for good.”

You let out another loud groan of frustration at your own stupidity. You didn’t mean to, but you had hurt Levi unintentionally. No wonder he was upset. You knew that didn’t excuse his behavior, especially him grabbing you, but it at least gave you a place to start so that you could try to work things out with him.

“Thanks, Mammon. Don’t you dare let anyone ever make you feel like the stupid one, you got it? You’re a lifesaver.”

“Whatever,” Mammon replied, blushing. You couldn’t help but laugh. He really was a great best friend and you had never been more thankful that he was part of your life than right now.

————

“Levi? Hey, I’m home.”

You knocked on his door again, but still no response. You had been expecting that though. So taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you opened his door and let yourself inside.

What greeted you, was an absolute disaster. Figurines, plushies, books, and DVD cases were scattered everywhere. One of his computer monitors was even on the floor, cracked and ruined beyond repair. Your chest tightened as you surveyed the damage. What had happened after you left?

Careful of where you were walking, trying to avoid stepping on anything as best you could, you moved further inside the room to look for your Leviathan. When you found him, he was curled up in his tub, still in his demon form with his shirt removed. Seeing him like that made you gasp, and you had to fight back tears. He just looked so broken. His face was red from crying and stained with dried tears, his hair was a disheveled, tangled mess, and you saw what had appeared to be claw marks all over his chest, that by now were mostly healed but still appeared very fresh.

Without another thought, you slipped into the tub with him, spooning him from behind, pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder. You knew you still needed to talk to him, but you had to make sure he was alright first before anything else. He wasn’t going to be able to listen to a thing you said if he was still as worked up as he had been. Levi continued to sleep, breathing steadily, and you knew he must have been exhausted. Pulling the blanket up to cover you both, you settled down, snuggled behind him and went to sleep.

————

As Levi started to wake up, the first thing he became aware of was the blanket covering his body. He didn’t remember covering himself up and wondered when he had managed to do that. But while he was pondering about the origins of the blanket, he started to become aware of the warmth that was pressing against his back, and the arm draped over his side.

His breath hitched, and he desperately fought the urge to immediately turn around. You couldn’t possibly be here. There was no way you could. After what he did...he choked back a sob as another flood of memories and anxieties washed over him.

“Levi, you okay?”

That was your voice. There was no mistaking it. It was so soft, and clear, and soothing. Cautiously, Levi rolled over so he was facing you.

“Hey babe,” you whispered, brushing the tangled mess that was his bangs out of his eyes so you could get a better look at him.

Levi couldn’t hold it back any longer, and broke down again, in a mixture of relief and regret now that you were right in front of him. His guilt still weighed heavily on him, but he was so incredibly happy that you were here.

As you watched Levi cry, you did the only thing you could and wrapped him up in a hug. You didn’t want to tell him everything was “alright” because it honestly wasn’t, so you decided on “I’m here” as you rubbed gentle circles on his back.

“I’m here, Levi. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.”

“Hey, shhhhh. We will talk later ok? Just calm down right now, alright? I’m here. We will talk later. I promise.”

Levi nodded, burying his face into your shoulder, careful not to stab you with his horns. He had tried to shift back to his human form when he first noticed you, but he was still too anxious and agitated to manage it.

It took a good hour for Levi to finally calm down enough to talk to you. At some point his tail had become entwined around your leg, but his hold was gentle. You could tell he was being cautious and you appreciated it and the intimate gesture.

After another moment of silence as Levi gathered his thoughts, he started to apologize:

“I’m sorry,” Levi said, “I shouldn’t….I shouldn’t have grabbed you….”

Levi struggled to get his words out. His throat burned and felt so raw. But he knew he needed to say this. He needed to tell you how he felt and that he knew it was all his fault. He knew you were going to leave after you finished talking, so he had to make sure he said all he had to say before that.

“Thank you for saying that,” you replied, kissing his forehead, “I mean it. I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

You could tell he had more to say, so you calmly waited, rubbing his back gently and resting your cheek against his head, reassuring him that you were still here and ready to listen.

“I saw you with my brothers yesterday and...I just...I got jealous,” his voice was scarcely above a whisper now, but he kept going, “And, I...I...I know that you have to be disgusted with me after that. I know that...who wouldn’t…”

“Disgusted? Why would I be disgusted with you?”

“Because. Because I was jealous. And that’s not good, right? Good boyfriends aren’t supposed to be jealous. If I’m jealous that means I don’t trust you, right? Or that I’m a loser...which I know I am...but still. I shouldn’t have been jealous…”

“Aw, Levi, sweetie, there’s nothing wrong with jealousy. That’s normal. Everyone...”

“No! You don’t get it. I was really really really jealous,” he pulled back so he could look you in the eyes, desperate for you to understand just how despicable he was, “Really jealous. Like lock-you-up-and-never-let-you-go, yandere type of jealousy.”

“But you didn’t Levi; you did let me go.”

“It doesn’t matter! I still felt that way! I...I...I...still feel that way. Even now. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here. Forever. And I don’t care if it makes you hate me. I still….I still don’t want you to leave me.”

You listened carefully as Levi spoke, piecing together how he was feeling bit by bit. This sounded like it was more than just the incident at the tea house that had bothered him. It seemed like this is something he had been struggling with and battling all on his own, hiding it from you out of fear. The thought made you pull him close again, and he didn’t even attempt to resist you, he just melted in your arms.

There was so much you had to say to him now that you had a clearer picture of what he had been dealing with, that you scarcely knew where to begin.

“Ok Levi, I’m going to talk now alright? And I need you to listen. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen. Ok?”

He nodded against your chest, he knew what was coming. This was the part where you would tell him how awful he was and how you never wanted to see him again and how much more wonderful all his other brothers were and how you regretted ever…

“I love you, Levi. You’re...well you’re my favorite person. The first one I always think of. The first one I want to share good news with. The first one I want to see when I’m upset. It’s you. It’s all you.

I want you to tell me these things. Please. It’s ok to be jealous. I get jealous sometimes too. And well, I think because you tried to hide it and keep it to yourself...I think that’s what allowed it to fester. But if you had talked to me about it? If you had talked about it, we could have worked something out. Together.

I mean, we’re supposed to be a couple right? So aren’t we supposed to solve problems together? That’s all I want.”

“How am I supposed to tell you that I want to lock you in my room and never let you leave? How is that supposed to help? It’s not like you’re suddenly going to let me do it. All it would do is prove what a twisted pervert I am…”

“...I might.”

“Huh?!” Levi jerked back once more so that he could see your face. He had to be sure of what he was hearing. You...wanted…him to lock you up…? That can’t be right. There’s no way you’d sink to his level of depravity, even if you were only doing it to comfort him.

“I said, if you were to ask me, I might let you lock me up.”

Levi was now frozen in place. His brain was misfiring and he didn’t know if he should laugh, cry, or just be plain embarrassed. Why were you saying these things? Did you even understand what you were saying? You couldn’t just say something like that. Here he was trying to control his darker urges and you were...encouraging them.

“We could do it like any other kink. Come up with a safeword. Have a plan in place. Talk about what was allowed and what wasn’t. I don’t see any reason not to, honestly. And if it’ll make you feel better, and give you some sort of outlet for your anxiety, then all the more reason to.”

He really didn’t know how to process this. He had just revealed the darkest, ugliest parts of himself to you, and you weren’t even batting an eye. He had assumed you were going to take off running at some point during the conversation and never look back, but you were still here. You were still talking to him, still trying to understand him. And he just couldn’t believe it. How could you love him so much?

“Hey, I mean it, Levi,” you reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking it gently with your thumb, “This isn’t something I want you to keep to yourself. You should tell me these things. You HAVE to tell me these things. If it’s something simple I can fix, then I can fix it. And if it’s not, then we can come up with a way to reassure you, and help you work through those emotions. Just...trust me a little, please?”

He wasn’t sure when, but at some point he had started crying again. But these weren’t the sad, angry, bitter tears from before. No, these were tears of pure relief. You understood him. You accepted him. You weren’t disgusted by him. He couldn’t put into words how happy that made him right now, so he just nodded again and held your hand closer to his cheek.

“So now that we are on the same page...do you think you could tell me what it was you were so worried about yesterday?”

Levi didn’t even need to think about it now, of course he would tell you. He’d tell you everything. His demonic form was finally fading away, and he curled up as close as he could manage next to you, wanting to feel more of your warmth.

“I...umm...just...well…you looked like you were having a lot of fun with my brothers. And I well, I wondered if you had been having that much fun with me...because I didn’t really talk with you yesterday. I just sorta did my own thing while you watched…”

You were struggling not to laugh now. You really needed to keep it together because you didn’t want Levi to get the wrong idea, but it was a battle that was more difficult than you would have thought possible under the circumstances.

“I’m sorry Levi,” you gave him another kiss to his forehead before resting yours against his, closing your eyes, “I’m not laughing at you I swear. I’m just laughing at the situation I guess? I mean, I don’t know what you saw when you found me sitting with your brothers, but I can promise you I was not enjoying myself. Frankly I was beyond pissed. Mammon I understood you know, because he’s always tagging along...but for everyone else to show up? It infuriated me.

And as for you being excited and ignoring me...sweetheart, that’s why I took you there in the first place. I know how much you love that stuff. And you are just so incredibly cute when you’re in your element and enjoying yourself. So I took you there knowing full well what I was getting myself into. That was the entire point.”

Well, now he just felt foolish. Everything he had been worried about...the anxiety that had been eating at him for the past 24 hours...he could have avoided it all if he had just talked to you earlier. He hated how simple it was.

“Is there anything else?” you asked, checking in on Levi as he continued to come to terms with the fact your idea of a good time included watching him be the biggest dork he could.

“Oh yeah, I guess. I uh, I wasn’t trying to ignore you yesterday. After we got home I mean. It was just like...like I couldn’t even hear you. I mean I could hear you...I knew you were talking...but I didn’t know what you were saying.”

You had to smile at his confession just now, maybe he hadn’t realized it before, but that was far from the first time he had stopped being able to verbally respond to you. There were plenty of other times where he had been stressed, that he just opted for laying near you and zoning out while you played with his hair or you cuddled and watched a movie together.

“I know, Levi. I get it. I don’t know if you realize this but...that’s not the first time something like that has happened. And I didn’t think for a moment you were ignoring me on purpose, ok?”

Levi breathed another sigh of relief. You were amazing, so incredibly amazing. How did he manage to be this lucky? He knew there had been other times where he had struggled to respond to you, and he thought you hadn’t noticed because you never said anything to him. But it turns out you knew the whole time and had already decided to embrace that along with the rest of his quirks.

The two of you continued to lay there in comfortable silence, holding each other close. You were hoping against hope that you had gotten through to Levi, and that he knew how much he meant to you and how willing you were to work things out with him. Telling you everything, and laying it all out there couldn’t have been easy for him. He was self conscious enough as it is about normal things, you couldn’t imagine how much resolve it had to have taken for him to open up to you about this.

Now that the anxiety, tension, and fear had left Levi’s body completely, he found himself struggling to remain awake. He wasn’t ready to sleep yet. Sleep was a waste. If he slept, you really would have to go.

You could see how much of a fight he was putting up to remain awake. His eyelids kept drooping, and his head would occasionally bob, before he’d jerk himself awake once more. So cute, you thought.

“Hey, why don’t you get some rest? I’m gonna get started cleaning things up. But I promise I’ll still be here when you wake. I won’t go anywhere without telling you, ok?”

Levi nodded, he was so exhausted at this point, and your permission was all his body needed to stop its attempts at resistance. The last thing he remembered before he drifted off was the feeling of your lips on his cheek as you climbed out of the tub, and tucked him in.

————

Leaving Levi in the tub, you set to work tidying up his room. If you were being honest, you wished you could stay by his side and get some rest yourself, but you knew that this had to be taken care of first. You didn’t want Levi to see the damage he’d done to his room when he had been in his demon form, because you were sure he wasn’t even completely aware of what he had been doing. If he saw things as they were, you imagined it may only send him into another guilty spiral of anxiety, and you didn’t want to chance it. You would just have to explain things to him later.

As you worked, you couldn’t help but think of just how upset he had to have been. He loved his collections. He treasured them and went through great pains to preserve them so that they could always be enjoyed in perfect condition, as intended by their creators.

But seeing everything scattered about how it was only served to remind you of the depth of his self loathing. He had been doing so well as of late, that you nearly had forgotten just how dark his thoughts tend to turn. For every thing you loved about him, he had something he hated about himself.

And while he was proud in his declarations of love for his interests, he also was very much aware how people viewed him because of it. You wished you could get him to see himself as you did. Then maybe he could learn to have just a tiny bit more confidence, and just be slightly less anxious all the time. You didn’t want to change him - you just didn’t want to see him suffer.

Just as you placed the last figurine back in its rightful position, you felt your DDD vibrate in your pocket. It was Mammon, and he was checking in on you.

“Hey. Everything goin’ alright? He’s not refusin’ to let you leave, is he?”

You were about to type a reply, when another message came through soon after,

“If ya don’t answer me I’m comin’ over there and kickin’ his ass.”

He was looking out for you, and it warmed your heart. You had dumped a lot on him earlier, and he had been so supportive and understanding. It couldn’t have been easy for him, you knew, to let you go back and see Levi again after the things you had confided in him. Mammon was insanely protective of you. And you really couldn’t blame him, especially considering you had had a couple near death experiences at the hands of his brothers, Levi included.

“I’m fine. Levi is asleep.” You sent your message through quickly, before deciding to send along another with a new selfie attached as proof of your condition.

“Good. Stay that way. Dinner is soon.”

You smiled as you flicked the screen of your DDD off, and slipped it back into your pocket. Looking over the room once more, you felt a tiny bit proud at how well you had done restoring order.

You didn’t notice it, but Levi had woken up a little bit ago and had been watching you work. He was so grateful to you for cleaning things up, even if he was embarrassed that you had to have seen him like that. The fact that you managed to return everything to its rightful place was a testament to how much time you had spent with him, and how much attention you paid to things he was interested in, and it made him feel so incredibly loved.

His memories from most of the day were fuzzy, as they usually were whenever he lost control of himself like that. He was thankful he had managed to keep it together long enough for you to leave this morning too. He didn’t know what he would have done if he really had hurt you, instead of just taking out his anxiety on himself. The thought made him shiver, and as he pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, he realized his shirt was missing.

His cheeks flushed once he remembered that only a few hours ago you had been snuggled up close to him, and therefore had to have noticed. Even though it made no sense after everything else that had happened, the realization embarrassed him greatly. You may have already been intimate plenty of times before, but letting you see him naked outside of those times still felt awkward.

When he looked up again, he saw you smiling at him. You had been watching as he tried to cover his body with his blanket. The fact that he was blushing and embarrassed about his state of undress helped you relax. If he had the wherewithal to care about that, you knew he was going to be alright.

You walked over to him, and knelt by the edge of the tub, crossing your arms and resting them on its side. Levi looked away from you now that you were close, and you reached out to tuck some stray hairs behind his ear. It was a sweet gesture, but entirely unproductive given the state of the rest of his beautiful purplish, blue locks.

“Hey you. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Just a little tired, I guess.” He gave you a sheepish smile, “Umm, thank you. For cleaning up. I know it had to have been a hassle. Sorry you had to see things like that. But ummm...thanks.”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. That’s what I’m here for. I mean, you’d do the same for me right?”

Levi blushed again, and gave you a small nod. Of course he would do the same for you. How could you possibly think anything else? He might not be as eloquent as you, but he definitely would have done his absolute best to be there for you. He wouldn’t have abandoned you, that’s for sure.

“I uh...think I need to shower. Before dinner, you know.”

“Hmm, maybe I should join you,” you teased, a smile playing at your lips.

“Yeah, maybe you should.”

Now it was your turn to be embarrassed, and your face flushed crimson. You were used to being the one with the upper hand, and you weren’t sure how you felt about this sudden role reversal. But one thing was for sure - you certainly enjoyed that hungry, needy look in his eyes as he waited for your response.

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